#other interpretations are also welcome and valid

[briarlovesclara]

happy pride month to the characters from wicked (inspired my marissa bode except that i hc glinda as bisexual!!!)

alt:

feels like a good time to post this draft from this morning (just watched the trailer)

[araybiaaa]

❝ temptation.❞  ‎ elias ‘stack’ moore x black!fem oc

ooo. 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔… modern!au, tension, flirting, cunnilingus (cause every man in this movie is a muncher!) black!fem oc, explicit sexual content.

ooo. 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔… where a good girl falls into temptation after she meets elias ‘stack’ moore.

ooo. 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔… soooo i wanted to try something different and do a modern!au with stack. (smoke’s still my favorite twin. the real girlies get it!) but i wanted to challenge myself a bit here.. this idea honestly came out of nowhere. i opened a03 and just started typing and somewhere down the line it became a one shot with 5k+ words?? 😭 also just wanted to say tysm for all of the love on my other fics. smoke and annie are near and dear to my heart and i’m glad you guys enjoyed my interpretations/writings for them. just a fair warning, the girl in this is very unserious but who wouldn’t be if you saw a vampire that looked like mbj! requests are open so send in something if you’d like — just keep in mind of my rules. anyway. likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated! ◡̈

“he’s dangerous. if you had any common sense you’d stay away from him.” their words seemed portent at first; a precautionary warning that had her wary of him. she didn’t know him but she’s heard enough stories about him to know that he was feared by everyone. his reputation was something akin of their town’s own boogeyman or freddy kreuger — he was dangerous, menacing and someone to be fearful of.

cleo hadn’t been in town long enough to know if his reputation superseded him or if the rumor’s held some weight of validity in them but her curiosity was piqued to meet the guy that had people hurriedly locking their doors when the sun went down and removing the welcome mats off of their front porches.

at first, she wondered if everyone in town had collectively decided to pull a prank on her as some sort of initiation or simply for their own amusement. because to her elias moore seemed more like a ghost than a vampire. she lurked outside after hours, even against their warnings — completely foolish and naive, but she never saw him around.

she doesn’t know why she wants to see him so bad, maybe it’s because everyone else has and she feels strangely left out. or maybe it’s because she needs to see for herself if there was a world where mythical creatures existed outside of the cheesy television shows she used to watch and the books that she read. but much to her dismayed defeat, time continued on with her being the only one who had yet to meet the feared elias moore.

“what does he look like?” she asked, feigning innocence behind her curiosity that her best friend, naomi easily sees through and narrows a pointed glare at her. “what? i just want to know in case i see him around somewhere!” she murmurs with a halfhearted shrug. it didn’t seem like an actual possibility with how she hadn’t so far, but she didn’t want naomi to know that she was willingly seeking him out.

naomi sighs, pursing her lips as she tapped her manicured fingers against her thigh. after a moment’s contemplation, she reveals: “i’ve only seen him around a few times. he doesn’t look like any of those sick looking vampire that you see on tv. he’s actually…fine.” at this, cleo’s eyebrows raise in amusement at her friend’s description. “he has this look about him that makes you weak in the knees whenever he smiles at you. it’s effortlessly sexy and his eyes — just don’t look in them too long cause you’re gonna find yourself wanting him to turn you into a vampire too just so you can spend the rest of eternity with him. i’m only telling you this because you asked, but don’t go around asking anyone else about him. you don’t want your daddy finding out about it.”

cleo nodded in agreement, but still found her mind wandering about him. she knows that naomi’s right, her overly religious father would have an aneurysm if he’d found out that she was asking questions about the town’s social pariah. but that didn’t stop her from visualizing him through naomi’s description.

she’s only ever heard of naomi speaking negatively about elias so for her to refer to him as fine despite her disliking of him had intrigued cleo. “yeah, you’re right. i was just curious but now i know.”

naomi’s pointed glare deepens, like she doesn’t fully believe cleo. “girl…stay away from him for your own good. trust me. i know another girl who was curious about him just like you are and she got turned.” cleo wonders if she’s just saying that to scare her away, but surprisingly it doesn’t.

“i hear you,” naomi hums in acknowledgment but thankfully doesn’t reprimand her any further about her curiosity.

…

sometimes cleo makes smart decisions.

when it came to school and her grades, everything was always calculated in her mind for her to choose the best possible outcome. she was annoying obsessive like that — always planning ahead, analyzing and assessing even the most mundane things that infiltrated her life. but other times, on seldom occasions, she makes not-so-smart decisions; one’s that has her acting impulsively and deviating from her normally pristine behavior.

she was supposed to be going back to her dorm room to get ready for a party that she was planning on going to with naomi. it was twelve o’clock and she had just finished an exasperating nine hour bartending shift with annoying alcoholics flirting with her and their heady, glossed over eyes staring at her ass in the tight fitted jeans that she was wearing.

her dad was less than pleased about her place of employment, but he knew that she needed extra money to pay for her clothes, shoes, hair and other miscellaneous items so he refrained from making any comments anytime she she complained about a customer or the minimal pay that she was getting.

cleo was closing the bar; wiping down the sticky counters, recounting the money in the register and overturning the chairs when she looks up and sees him. he’s standing across the street but even with the distance set between them she can feel the smolder of his gaze as he looked at her. cleo stands there for a brief moment just staring back at him until she mustered enough courage to make her way to the front door.

the overhead bell rings in a soft bellow as she pushes the door open. the humidity of the mississippi air sticks against her skin as soon as she steps outside. but even with its scorching temperatures, elias’ stare pierces deeper and has her skin burning. when she steps outside, she sees him making his way towards her — his gait was stealth and calculated.

she feels goosebumps prickle along her skin, air catches in her lungs and warmth curls around her neck as he sauntered closer. the first thing that she noticed was that although naomi had been right in her description of him, she had greatly undermined it. he wasn’t just fine; he was handsome and she could already feel her knees buckling weakly beneath her just at the sight of him. the second thing she notices is his eyes and the phosphorescent glow of red in his pupils. when he finally reaches her, he stands athwart from her and slowly drags his eyes over her body. his eyes find hers again and for a moment she wonders if she could hear the hastened beating of her heart.

“it’s kinda late for you to be out here ain’t it?” he posits and the deepened drawl of his southern accent somehow makes him more attractive.

cleo swallows a shaky breath, nodding. “i’m closing up the bar. we just closed about ten minutes ago,”

he raises his brows, trailing his eyes somewhere offside. “and they just left you to do it by yourself? don’t they know it’s dangerous people out here? vampires walkin’ about like they’re humans.” he says with sarcasm lilting in his voice and clicks his tongue against his teeth with a reprimanding tsk that follows.

cleo juts her chin outwardly. “i’m more than capable of handling myself.” she rebuttals, her hand perched on her hip as she looked at him.

his eyes find hers again and he smirks impishly, nodding his head. “i’m sure.” he says; and it’s something hidden in the way that he says it that has her cheeks warming again. a moment passes between them as he stares at her with an intrigued expression worn on his face. “you ain’t scared of me,” it’s more of a statement than a question, though she knows it’s intended to be the latter.

he sounds and looks surprised by this, that he’d finally encountered someone that didn’t run away when they saw him. “am i supposed to be?” she was more attracted to him than anything, unable to stop looking at his lips and his bared fangs that peeked out from his mouth.

he shrugs, “everyone else is.”

“well i’m not everyone else,” at that he doesn’t respond, only smirks at her again making the butterflies she feels in her stomach somersault deeper. cleo bites her lip as she looks over her shoulder towards the bar. ‘don’t ever invite him in anywhere, that’s how he gets you.’ she ignores her father’s words, pushing them to the back of her mind. “you wanna come in?”

he raises another brow, “you want me to come inside?” this time it’s her that shrugs and he only gives her a brief dubious look of contemplation before he’s following her inside of the bar at her open invitation. she could feel his eyes honed in on her ass and unlike with the drunken middle aged men from before, she isn’t repulsed at the realization.

“you know, at first i thought people were lying about who you are. it seemed like everyone knew what you looked like except for me.” she says, folding her arms against her chest and watching his eyes lower to her perked breast. she bites on her lip, intrigued.

“you were lookin’ for me?”

she nods briefly, “i wanted to know what you looked like.”

he walks towards her until he’s standing directly in front of her; way closer than he was when they were standing outside and it catches her slightly off guard. “well now that you have…whatchu think?” the remark is undeniably coquettish — the soft murmur of it accompanied by the lascivious look that he’s giving her has her pinned beneath his gaze.

“i think you’re not as scary as people make you out to be,” she responds; avoiding the answer that she knows he was truly searching for. but he settles for this one too, indulging in her retreat.

“you think you can make that assumption from a five minute conversation? what if i am like everyone says?” the air between them shifts into this palpable tension; hot and undeniable. he takes a few more steps forward until he’s hovering his heightened figure over her. she cranes her neck to look up at him, “i could bite you right now and you wouldn’t be able to do anythin’ about it”

“if you wanted to you would’ve done it outside,” she rebuttals, seeing the twitch of his curled upper lip.

“maybe i like playin’ with my food before i eat it.” and the innuendo behind his words has her breath hitching.

her skin pricks with goosebumps again at his teasing words. elias takes immediate notice of it; his nostrils flare as he inhales sharply with his heightened senses. and it takes a moment for her to realize that he must smell something radiating off of her body — arousal? excitement? — because he’s chuckling and licking his lips as he reached his hand out and brushed it over her hip. she shivers, not out of fear but of arousal. “and you sure as hell look and smell good enough to eat.”

cleo’s mouth gapes the only audible sound that comes out is a soft gasp. it’s the sound of her phone ringing that suddenly clefts through the tension hanging in the air. she jumps, startled, looking at elias whose eyes narrow at her phone like he’s inwardly cursing it for its intrusion. she reluctantly moves out of his grasp and walks over to pick up her phone that was sat at the edge of the counter.

picking up the phone she sees that it’s a text from naomi asking where she’s at. she’d gotten so distracted with elias that she forgot that she was supposed to meet naomi at their dorm room half an hour ago. she types a quick message in response, telling her that closing up took longer than expected and that she should go ahead to the party without her and that she would just meet her there instead.

she looks up from her phone at the same time elias is already walking out of the door, the sound of the bell ringing announces his departure as cleo stands there with her mind replaying their interaction.

…

a week passes before she sees him again. he’s standing outside of the door; staring, watching, waiting. she walks towards the entrance and holds the door open, beckoning him forward. “come in,” he walks inside as she closes the door behind him.

“you weren’t here the other night.” he says, catching her slightly by surprise. had he been looking for her this time instead of the other way around?

“oh, yeah. i was off. i don’t work on tuesdays and thursdays,” she explains watching as he nodded before looking away with a sheepish expression. after their last encounter, she spent the entire week thinking about him — how he looked at her, how his hand felt against her bare skin. cleo didn’t understand how she developed such a quick attraction for him, especially when she didn’t even give human boys any time of the day, but something about him was different.

naomi was right, all it took was one look from him and cleo found herself a fallen victim to his charm. “why aren’t you scared of me?”

she’s taken aback again, even more so than the first time. “why do you want me to be?” she challenges, noticing the pull of his jaw as he clenches it shut.

“your daddy’s a preacher ain’t he?” she furrows her brow, curious to know how he’d figured that out without her telling him. “how you think he’d react if he knew you were stayin’ behind after work to talk to me?”

ah, so that’s what this is about.

“well aside from me being grown and fully capable of making my own decisions, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” and she would definitely keep this secret from him for his sake and hers. “elias—”

“stack.” he interrupts to correct her.

“elias,” she says, unmoored by his correction. he gives her a look but listens as she continued. “i’m not talking to you because i’m trying to prove something to my dad or anyone else here.”

“then why are you?”

“because i want to.” she exasperates, frowning slightly. “why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“because you don’t know what you’re gettin’ yourself into,” elias retorts through a forewarning tone that sounded all too familiar of her family and friends who initially warned her away from him. he was right, aside from the fictionalized information that she got through old cw shows she used to frequently watch, she didn’t understand the depth and complications that came along with being a vampire. but her interest in elias made her want to know more — she wanted the truth and all its ugliness.

“then show me.”

…

elias stack moore had a tarnished reputation way before he got bit and transformed into a vampire. albeit he was the more level headed of the two, the smoke-stack twins were well known for their violent behavior and short fused tempers. their involvement with the notorious al capone and then stack becoming involved in a near ritualistic slaughter hadn’t done anything to ease anyone’s perception of him. his reputation expanded over the near century with people reciting tales of his life; often times dramatizing it completely.

but regardless of the half-truths or stack’s solemn search for penance — he still remained feared to the point where people would refrain from staying outside at night too long just to avoid him. he kept mostly to himself, only indulging in his sexual needs with a few other vampires that lived amongst the town. if he did leave his house, he made sure it was brief just to avoid any inadvertent run in’s.

he knew he was feared and had stories told about him that would give kids nightmares. but she was surprisingly the only one that didn’t tremble in fear when she saw him or tightly clutch her cross necklace and recite scripture from the bible in hopes it would protect them and keep him away like everyone else did. instead of running she gravitated towards him; accepting and intrigued by him in a way he hadn’t felt before.

he was wary at first of getting close to her.

she had a reputation as the preacher’s sweet and innocent daughter. he could only imagine the outcry that would erupt if anyone were to find out that she had been talking to him. but cleo insisted that she didn’t care and expressed interest in wanting to see/know him — all of him. so he invited her to his house.

she came over at work — still dressed in those tight jeans and that cropped shirt that accentuated her lithe physique — all wide eyed and innocent and fucking gorgeous.

as soon as she stepped over the threshold and inside, he felt something shift in the air as he realized that she was the first girl he’d ever invited into his house. he watches her as she looks around spectatingly, crouching over a bit with her hands on her knees to look at the display of photos that he had. “your brother?” she asks rhetorically as she looked at the candid black-and-white photograph that he had of him and smoke taken years back during the time of their youth.

stack nods tersely, pursing his lips in a moue.

and he’s grateful that she notices his reluctance and doesn’t prod any further because even though it’s been over a century since his brother’s death, it was still hurt carrying him around in his memories.

it’s stack who segues the conversation, now turning the spotlight on her. “you said you wanted me to show you, so what do you wanna know?”

cleo bites her lip in thought. stack’s mind is briefly distracted with how sexy she looks that he doesn’t initially hear her question until she asks it again.

“it took me a while to learn how to do it. i taught myself most of what i know, the guy who turned my ex that turned me didn’t teach me much. but it’s the first thing i taught myself.”

she nods, biting on her lip again as she lowered her eyes in a shy chagrin. “so that night at the bar…when you sniffed me what did you smell?”

“you really wanna know?” she looks up, almost contemplative, but nods. “lust. your hormones were all over the place.” her expression’s caught somewhere between mortification and a grimace. “my hearin’ is heightened too…i can hear your heart beatin’ fast as hell. you nervous?”

at her nod, he posits. “cause of me? why do i make you nervous?” he takes a preemptive step towards her, closing the distance between them. he hears her pulse quicken. smells the saltiness of sweat underneath the floral saccharine of her perfume.

she doesn’t respond, only looks at him underneath her lashes. “what else do want me to show you, cleo?” her breath hitches, eyes flit from his lips back up to his eyes in a quick maneuver. her heart beats louder and the smell of her arousal is so thick that he can almost taste it on his tongue. he inhales her scent; feeling his own arousal mix with hers.

he sees her throat stretch as she swallows.

…

it’s almost feral how he bares an arm around her waist and tugged her body closer to his. she gasps a bit at his onslaught — startled by the abruptness of his movements, but she’s immediately relaxing into his embrace the moment he brushes his mouth against hers. he kisses her with a ravenous vigor, sliding his tongue over the cupping of her lower lip as a terse plea for entry. she whimpers before she succumbs to his prowess, slacking her jaw wider as he intertwined their tongues.

his kisses are bruising and greedy to the point where he steals all the air that was in her lungs. it’s a slip of tongues and a crash of teeth messily colliding, through guttural groans and breathy whimpers. stack’s arms tighten their hold around her before lowering to her ass. he squeezes her through her jeans before giving it a firm smack; smirking at the way it ricocheted. he gives it another hard squeeze as his mouth nipped at the exposed flesh of her neck. “tell me what you want,” he rasps; gruff and throaty, his breath hot against her skin.

his lips pucker as he nipped at her skin; sucking deep, purple love-bites all over. (and it feels so good that she doesn’t even care that she’ll have to cover up the evidence of his markings with makeup to hide from her father and naomi.) she grips the back of his head, holding him against her as she fluttered her lashes and indulged in the pleasure.

“this,” she whispered, voice shaky, body trembling with an intense want. he groans against her neck; alternating between nipping and sucking. and he gets too into it because she hears a low sound that mimics a growl and feels the sharpness of his fangs grazing her clavicle. she gasps, taken back and he’s immediately recoiling — looking up at her with his swollen lips and lidded eyes.

“fuck. i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—sometimes when i get too excited it happens. but i wasn’t trying to…” he’s panicking, careening apologies to her. but she’s sliding her mouth over his and kissing him deeply with fervor.

“it’s okay,” she whispers, still pecking at his lips.

stack furrows his brow, “yeah?”

“just don’t bite too hard.”

he nods, lightly grazing his teeth into the softness of her flesh. he nibbles at her neck with the tip of his bared fangs biting deliciously into her skin. the pain is sharp but still pleasurable enough to have her eyes rolling to the back of her head. his hands make their way to the front of her body, sliding over her abdomen and hovering at the waistband of her jeans. she breathes softly through her parted lips, emanating a whimper when he bites into her lower lip. “you smell so fuckin’ good,” he murmurs, reaching his hands between the crux of her thighs and sliding his thumb over her slit — passing the pleasure over the seam of her jeans.

her underwear suddenly becomes sticky with her arousal and knowing that he could smell it on her was sending her over the edge. she feels this incessant pleasure building; coiling in her stomach and spreading through the heat of the place where she desired him the most. “can i taste you?” at her consenting nod, he maneuvers them towards the couch and eases her down onto the cushion.

he pries their wet lips apart with a ‘smack’, a string of saliva draws at their disconnection. she holds the smother head of his gaze, watching as he lowers to his knees. “lift your hips up for me,” he murmurs, already working at the buttons and zippers of her pants that loosen around her hips.

she concedes, arching her hips off of the couch just enough so that stack’s hands are able to tug the tight fitted fabric over her hips and down her thighs. “look at you,” he says; marveling at the sight of her arousal. the dark spot is visible against her pink underwear — soddening through the fabric. “already so wet and ready for me.” he kisses the inside of her thighs, nudging the bridge of his nose against her cunt.

she shivers through a moan, it’s just the barest of contact but she’s hypersensitive to his touch. his deft fingers pull at her ruined underwear, sliding them down her legs and absentmindedly throwing them aside so that she’s sat completely bare in front of him.

her cheeks warm at her vulnerability.

stack’s hand brushes against her calf as he gripped her leg and hefted it easily over his left shoulder. his eyes hone in on her cunt as she spreads open; staring in awe at the slick that’s gathered between her folds. he grabs at her other leg, barring it around his right shoulder until he’s got a perfect position of her cunt displayed in front of him.

cleo arches her hips slightly, holding herself upright as she rests the palms of her hand against the cushions. her heartbeat quickens at the desire that grows, palpable and thick in its emerging, sending another jolting throb directly into her cunt. she could feel the wisps of his breath as he leaned in. he brushes a teasing kiss against her thigh, humming softly at the way she shivers in response.

he nudged himself closer towards her cunt; pressing soft kisses against her skin in passing before he finally reaches the place where he could smell the the evidence of her want. he presses a kiss against it and she shudders, feeling the tension roll down her spine and curl into her toes. she doesn’t even have a moment to gather her bearings, because then he’s flattening his tongue and licking her up from the back of her perineum to her clitoris. “oh—fuck. s-stack,” she bellows a soft cry of pleasure, her hands grip into the couch to seek purchase.

and when he reaches the over sensitive bud, he puckers his swollen lips and sucks her into his mouth; skillfully using his tongue to massage her clit. she feels the texture of his tongue stimulating her clit, sending an overwhelming wave of pleasure burning through the crevices of her body. her breath catches in her throat and she’s shivering so hard that stack has to pull his mouth away to remind her to breathe.

she nods numbly, blinking through the fogginess of her vision. she parts her lips and exhaled shakily; attempting to lull her breathing. “grind your hips against my face,” she whimpers, reaching a hand up to hold the back of his neck to anchor herself as she slowly rolled her hips against his face.

“ohmygo—” the added pressure of his nose and tongue assaulting her clit has her dizzy. his hands grip her hips, fingers dig into the meat of her thighs holding her against him.

he makes his way up her vulva; pausing right before he reached her clit and increased the pressure so that the base of his tongue was forced slightly under her clit. he slows his movements, unrelentingly in his ravenous feat as he holds the pressure there. she grinds against him again, shaky, still trembling through her movements as she buried his face deeper into her cunt.

she could hear the lewd stickiness of her slick as he licked up her pussy; could see it glistening over his face — a messy mixture of her arousal and his saliva dripping down his chin. she’s already shaking towards her release but then he grazes his fangs softly against her clit and she’s suddenly bellowing out cries of pleasure as she cums.

she pulsates around his tongue, the tension tugs in her lower belly. he slides his thumb through her slickness, watching as she haphazardly falls backwards against the couch cowering away from the overstimulation. stack pulls away, lapping his tongue around his mouth as he licked up the remnants of her slick. “you okay?” he asked through a rasped breath, watching as she laid there in a dazed stupor.

she nods, just barely, feeling the heaviness of her breathing begin to lull. cleo never thought that someone as smart as her would be drawn into the temptation from a vampire, but here she was — with her cunt still throbbing around nothing, legs and body completely spent, eyes looking at his face that’s covered in her juices, and it entices her.

and it’s then that she realizes that she was totally and completely fucked. he’d warned her that she didn’t know what she would be getting herself into if she became involved with him but with the way he ate her pussy out so good and had her wanting more, cleo realized that she was willing to test the boundaries of her restraint.

…

cleo didn’t like lying, she’s always prided herself about being a truthful person regardless of the repercussions that could follow. she didn’t like people lying to her so in return, she treated everyone with the same decency of respect and remained truthful about everything. it’s not until she starts dating stack that lying easily becomes integrated into her life.

she goes to church with her father every sunday, sits in the front pew and listens as he recites sermons and scriptures about demons and evils that plagued the world. it guilted her knowing that he was wistfully unaware of the fact that she was bedding with someone he referred to as one of the demons that walked amongst them, but the way he made her feel was better than anything she’s ever experienced before.

so she keeps the secret buried deeply, and listens halfheartedly at his preachings as she finds her mind wandering on stack again. it’s easier to hide behind her fib with her father, but naomi’s naturally pestering curiosity always gets the better of her and a simple response of “i already have something planned.” does not offer enough of a rational explanation for her.

“you’ve been acting weird these past few weeks…” she acknowledges with a skeptical brow and pursed lips. she narrows her gaze in on cleo who desperately hopes that she doesn’t look too hard enough to see the hickies stack sucked on her shoulder and breast the other night. “you’re here during the day, but always sneak out to go somewhere at night like you’re meeting someone,” she accents, her perception’s dangerously close to discovering cleo’s secret.

“i’m not.” the lie falls disbelieving to both of their ears. naomi gives her a narrowed look, tilting her head. she bites on her lip in contemplation, sighing softly as she concedes. “okay! but you can’t say anything to anyone especially not my dad.”

naomi gives her a bemused look but nods.

“i might be seeing someone,” cleo murmurs, averting her eyes to naomi to see her eyebrows raise. “i am seeing someone. but don’t ask who! because i’m not going to tell you who it is. i’m only telling you this because i know you wouldn’t stop hounding me if i didn’t.”

naomi stands there quiet, considering her words. “is he married?”

“what!?” cleo beseeches, frowning at her friend’s absurd accusation. “girl, no! i am not a fucking homewrecker!”

“hey, it’s a fair assumption!” naomi rebuttals, raising her hands in the air at her defense. “you’re being sneaky and sleeping over at his place at night… it made me think that you only go over there because that’s the only time that you’re allowed to.”

“no. i’m not fucking a married man.” cleo states. she continued to stuff her clothes in her overnight bag, avid to get to stack’s place. she could feel naomi’s he eyes still piercing through her, curiosity sits on her tongue wanting to inquire further about the guy’s identity. but she thankfully relents, only giving cleo a hum of acknowledgment when she grabs her bag and clamors a parting bye as she walks out.

when she arrives at his house, she’s greeted with a smile and kiss, his arm wraps around her waist as she melts softly into the embrace. he maneuvers her bag from her hands, allowing to to fall absentmindedly to the floor with a loud thud. his hands are groping her everywhere; sliding over her ass, squeezing her titties, palming her cunt through the flimsy pair of leggings that she wore. it’s almost feral how both of their bodies aligned with the same wanton desire.

she loves how the outside world becomes a distant memory for them as they remain secluded in the privacy of his house with no worries of interruption or ridicule waiting. “if you had any common sense you’d stay away from him,” had been a warning, but she found herself gravitating towards him despite their attempts of deterrence. and she had no intentions of letting go of this feeling or him.

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[studioeisa]

growing sideways 📧 jeonghan x reader.

yours, whether you like it or not,

📧 pairing. co-workers!jeonghan x reader. 📧 social media au & epistolary (told through emails). 📧 genres. alternate universe: non-idol, alternate universe: co-workers. romance, humor. 📧 includes. mention of alcohol; suggestive language; profanity. workplace rivals, corporate jargon, engineering terms i definitely butchered, use of y/n l/n for e-mail purposes. title from noah kahan’s growing sideways; waaay too many kahan references, really. style and format insp. by cinnamorussell’s tell all your friends i’m crazy (i’ll drive you mad). 📧 notes. this is a bit long, but we ball. in one of my first conversations with @diamonddaze01, we dreamed up workplace rival yoon jeonghan. i offer it, now, as part of a month-long celebration for the person i’ve dedicated a good quarter of my work to. tara, i’ll never meet someone who won’t know about you. nanu ninnannu pritisuttene! 🔭

Liked by feat.dino, everyone_woo, and others jeonghaniyoo_n   if my engine works perfect on empty, guess i’ll drive 

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vernonline woah indie ahhh caption user1 Looking good, Jeonghan! Let’s catch up soon x user2 who tha baddie in the back in the second slideee ↳ sound_of_coups 👋 ↳ user3 no the one on the right sry :/ ♥︎ Liked by creator user4 congrats to whoever’s bouncing on it ! junhui_moon Aura 1000000% ↳ jeonghaniyoo_n what language are you speaking

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from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Test Platform Validation Report (EU Submission)

Yoon,

I reviewed the validation draft you uploaded this morning. Fascinating interpretation of clause 4.3.2. Bold of you to skip the stability data appendix entirely. I can only assume it was an artistic choice.

Also, the raw tensile data from the 0528 batch isn’t included. If it was meant to be in the shared drive, it wasn’t in any of the usual folders (QA_Share > FR_Validation > tensile_data > missing_files > probably_Jeonghan’s).

I’ve attached my edits. I added actual numbers.

Regards, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: Test Platform Validation Report (EU Submission)

Thank you for the prompt review. I assumed your obsession with clause 4.3.2 would outweigh your impulse to nitpick, but alas—some things never change.

The stability data was excluded intentionally while awaiting results from the accelerated aging test. If you opened the protocol (second folder under QA_Share > FR_Validation > tensile_data > definitely_not_missing), you’d see that.

As for your edits, I appreciate the effort. It’s cute when you pretend Excel likes you back.

Best, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: EU Submission - FR Manufacturing Coordination

Yoon,

Not that I expect you to read full briefs, but just in case you skimmed this one: yes, the transfer protocols need to be locked before next Friday if we want the France site to hit qualification by Q3.

Your last edits to the QAP template were inspired. I didn’t know it was possible to confuse ISO 13485 with a haiku.

I’ve restructured the equipment IQ section. You’re welcome. You’ll need to coordinate with Wonwoo at the Lyon site for vendor access, assuming you remember to email him this time.

I’ll see you in Lyon.

Disrespectfully, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: EU Submission - FR Manufacturing Coordination

Of course I read the brief. Just because I don’t annotate every margin with red ink and superiority complexes doesn’t mean I don’t understand the deadline.

I’ll coordinate with Wonwoo, assuming you don’t scare him off again with your charmingly blunt emails. (I still have the screenshot of him calling you “intimidatingly competent.”)

By the way, your IQ revisions look fine. Shockingly legible this time. Congratulations.

I’ll see you in Lyon. Try not to sabotage the coffee machine this trip.

Until customs detains us, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: EU Submission - FR Manufacturing Coordination

If Wonwoo was intimidated, it’s because I sent him instructions written in complete sentences. A rare treat, I know.

You still haven’t confirmed the calibration matrix. We’ll need the traceable certs before equipment ships, or do you plan to charm EU regulators into letting us slide on documentation? Actually, don’t answer that. I’ve seen you talk to vendors.

Also: bring the correct adapter this time. I’m not sharing an outlet with you again.

Best of luck (to me), L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: EU Submission - FR Manufacturing Coordination

The calibration matrix is in the tracker: third tab, fourth column, next to the thing labeled “READ ME, PLEASE” Try it. It’s fun.

And yes, I plan to charm the regulators. You, on the other hand, can stun them into compliance with your piercing PowerPoint transitions.

As for the outlet. I’m bringing an adapter. And a surge protector. For reasons.

Looking forward to our time in France. Nothing says “teamwork” like four days of jetlag and passive aggression.

Yours in regulatory purgatory, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

YJH 👿 (Work) [8:13 AM]: why do you type so aggressively. the guy next to me thinks you’re yelling at me You [8:14 AM]: he’s not wrong. YJH 👿 (Work) [8:15 AM]: did you really need three highlighters in your carry-on? You [8:15 AM]: yes. the pink one is for your mistakes. YJH 👿 (Work) [8:16 AM]: romantic You [8:16 AM]: if you die on this trip it’s going to be from a highlighter to the throat. YJH 👿 (Work) [8:17 AM]: worth it You [8:17 AM]: you are the worst seatmate in existence. YJH 👿 (Work) [8:18 AM]: you snore when you pretend not to be sleeping and your pointy elbow crosses the line You [8:18 AM]: so we’re calling it a truce? YJH 👿 (Work) [8:19 AM]: we’re calling it foreplay

☾ You have silenced Notifications.

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user1 oui oui 😜 user2 Who are you wearing??? ho5hi_kwon surprised a murder hasn’t occurred lolololol ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ ↳ jeonghaniyoo_n not counting it out just yet user3 WHAT’S 4+4? ATEEE user4 Is he a model? ↳ sound_of_coups please don’t say that his head is going to get so big

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from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: FR Submission Debrief + Documentation

Yoon,

Per our debrief notes (the ones not written on a cocktail napkin), I’ve uploaded the final QAP revisions and vendor qualification summaries to the shared drive. You can stop emailing me pictures of our hotel room as  “documentation.” Though impressive dedication to fieldwork.

Also, your expense report still lists the mini bar from Tuesday night. Pretty bold move, considering you insisted you only drank half the bottle.

Respectueusement, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: FR Submission Debrief + Documentation

You’re welcome for the in-room stress testing of French plumbing. I was being thorough.

Also, I did only drink half. You drank the other half and then told the front desk I was your emotional support engineer.

Re: shared drive. I see your formatting crimes continue. I fixed your spacing in the risk assessment table. Try to be better.

Yours across all timezones, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: FR Submission Debrief + Documentation

Yoon,

I’d fix my spacing if you’d stop adjusting my bullet styles just to mess with me. And next time, maybe don’t volunteer us for the plant tour while hungover. Watching you nearly fall into a vat of solvent was not the regulatory impression we wanted.

Stop calling me yours, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

P.S. You still owe me one (1) bed. I’m adding it to your performance review.

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: FR Submission Debrief + Documentation

Not my fault someone booked the hotel late and got us the romantic suite. You’re lucky I didn’t call room service for rose petals.

I’ve uploaded the final sign-offs and confirmation from the French regulatory contact—who says we’re the most “thorough and theatrically matched” engineers she’s worked with. I think that’s a compliment.

Let me know if I’ve missed any appendices. Or if you want your highlighter back.

Yours, even if you deny me (hotel registration said so), Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

P.S. I liked sharing the room with you. Not because of budget errors or international confusion. Just because it was you.

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from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Supplier Audit Timeline + Other Things

Great audit notes, as usual. I’ve attached my edits for the CAPA log. We’ll have to discuss column F, because your formulas hate me.

Also, bold of you to post a photo of flowers on a Tuesday. Does SVT approve PTO for midweek romance now?

Am I being cheated on?, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Supplier Audit Timeline + Other Things

Yoon,

Corrected the formula logic in column F. Try not to break it again.

And yes, Tuesday dates are a thing now. Believe it or not, some people find me tolerable enough to see more than once.

Shocking, I know.

Regrets, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: Supplier Audit Timeline + Other Things

Don’t worry. I’m sure your second date will be charmed by your bullet point consistency.

Personally, I’ve never seen the appeal of dating someone like you. Too sharp. Too bossy. Too quick to judge formula errors.

Fortunately, SVT doesn’t require us to like each other outside of Gantt charts.

Yours, whether you like it or not, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Supplier Audit Timeline + Other Things

Yoon,

Believe me, the feeling is mutual. I'd sooner date a malfunctioning tensile tester.

I fixed your math in the timeline estimates. Again. Please don’t bother me for the rest of the week. I’m going to be busy preparing for date number two.

(You wish I was) Yours, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp 

You [11:42 PM]: he ghosted me. u jinxed it. You [11:43 PM]: i shaved my legs for nothing. hope ur happy. You [11:44 PM]: he said he liked my slides. he LIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You [11:45 PM]: sitting alone at a bar rn contemplating the meaning of life.. and if i can blow u up telepahteitcally.... YJH 👿 (Work) [11:45 PM]: *telepathically YJH 👿 (Work) [11:46 PM]: which bar. You [11:47 PM]: fucking MANSPLAINER You [11:47 PM]: don’t come near me EVEREVER

YJH 👿 (Work) requested your location.

You started sharing your location with YJH 👿 (Work).

You [11:50 PM]: fuckfcuckfuckity my fat fucking thumbs FMLLL YJH 👿 (Work) [11:53 PM]: i’m coming. don’t order tequila until i get there. or do. i want to see the disaster myself. You [11:55 PM]: jerk YJH 👿 (Work) [11:56 PM]: always. save me a seat, heartbreak girl

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user1 Caption + second slide >>>> joshu_acoustic is that yourusername in the last slide 🫨 ↳ jeonghaniyoo_n is it ? yourusername ↳ yourusername must be a lookalike ♥︎ Liked by creator ↳ dk_is_dokyeom THAT’S ME yourusername & min6yu_k !!! ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ user2 just one chance pls,, user3 Wait was that a wine date or

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Equipment Revalidation Schedule 

Yoon,

Your revised equipment validation timeline looks solid. I’ve flagged the dates where QRA and process requal overlap. You’ll need to talk to Ops to make sure there’s no resource conflict.

Also, thanks. For the other night.

Don’t make a thing out of it. Reluctantly yours, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp 

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: Equipment Revalidation Schedule 

Wow. A “thanks.” What is this, a truce?

Noted on the QRA overlap—I’ll sync with Ops and shift our timeline by 2-3 business days. I’ve attached a revised Gantt for your very critical review.

Also: you owe me fries.

Yours with no reluctance whatsoever, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

P.S. Don’t let your guard down. I’d hate for you to start thinking I’m nice.

P.P.S. You’re beautiful when drunk. Infuriating, but beautiful.

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Equipment Revalidation Schedule 

Attached: my comments on your Gantt chart (see rows 14–27). Also, your font choices are unhinged. You’re lucky you’re marginally good at your job.

Fries are contingent on you not mentioning the karaoke. Sober now, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

P.S. You’re nice when you think I’m too drunk to remember.

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp subject: Re: Equipment Revalidation Schedule 

I’ll swap the font if it means less red pen in my inbox.

And don’t worry, I’d never mention your rendition of “Dancing Queen” in front of senior management. Or that you made me sing backup.

As for being nice: I was just making sure you didn’t fall asleep in a nacho basket. Again.

Drunk on you, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

P.S. I remember everything you said. Even the parts you don’t.

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user1 fly safe, babygirl user2 ermmm.. am i witnessing a soft launch ?! min9yu_k I’d know that YSL bag from anywhere 😏 user3 How can I be youuu :( user4 is that a BOYFRIEND?! junhui_moon strategic non-response to any of the comments here #respect

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

Attached: updated protocol outline and projected data submission window. Added notes re: temperature excursions flagged by the lab.

Unrelated, but I saw your latest post. Interesting how you managed to frame the lighting just right on that cafe table. Almost as if someone you work with took the photo.

Also, bold choice uploading a cropped version of that one picture of me holding five tote bags. Very “soft launch,” very subtle.

Launched like a rocket ship, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

This isn’t the time.

The humidity chamber failed mid-run and half of the accelerated aging samples are compromised. I’ll need to retest from baseline and revalidate the controls. Not sure yet if it pushes our submission, but I’m flagging it with QA.

I suggest you review section 6.2 of the protocol instead of obsessing over my Instagram.

L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

Didn’t mean to distract. I hadn’t seen the alert yet. Engineering just looped me in on the chamber issue. I’ll prioritize sourcing backup samples and contact Tech Ops to check chamber calibration across all zones.

You’ll have data. We’ll make it work.

(But if you were soft-launching me, I looked great.)

Trying too hard, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

Yoon,

Appreciated. Sorry I snapped.

I just really didn’t want this run to go sideways. I know it’s not your fault—but I’ve been fielding calls since 7:00 a.m. and I’m a little fried.

Yours and then some, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

P.S. You looked ridiculous, but sure. Let the internet wonder.

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

You can yell at me any time. Preferably not before coffee, but I’ll survive.

QA says they’ll expedite sample disposal so we can start the new batch by end of week. I sent you a revised Gantt. And a snack. Don’t fight me on it.

Yours in whatever way you’ll have me, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

P.S. Internet speculation is already intense. I’ve received two DMs inquiring if I’m truly off the market. Is this your twisted little way of staking claim?

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline 

The snack was suspiciously well-timed. You’re lucky I like sesame.

Re: QA—I’ll update the submission calendar and notify Regulatory we’re adjusting the stability window.

And tell your fans I’m flattered, but my standards are higher than “guy who argues about font weight in shared spreadsheets.”

Yours for some reason (When did I succumb to this?), L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: France Stability Testing Timeline

For the record, I wasn’t arguing. I was advocating for consistent formatting.

Also: I’m sorry. For earlier. I should’ve checked the system alerts before joking around. You always catch things first, and I forget what it’s like to be under that kind of pressure all the time.

Let me know what else you need. I mean it.

Yours for equally no reason (I bookmarked the first time you signed off with ‘yours’, btw), Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

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sound_of_coups 🎣 Hook, line, sinker user1 can this guy fight omfg user2 Even his side view is ethereal. What the hale vernonline okurrr ♥︎ Liked by jeonghaniyoo_n   ↳ yourusername ? jeonghaniyoo_n wasn’t aware i had paparazzi   ↳ pledis_boos IS THIS ALLOWEDDD IS THIS ALLOWED

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Apologies for the Timestamp 

Yoon,

I realize this is past hours. I won’t pretend it’s an emergency—it’s just the draft for the stability test realignment we discussed. I needed to get it out of my head or I wouldn’t sleep. It can wait until morning. I just didn’t want to forget.

Sorry. Again. Sleep well, or party well, or whatever it is you’re doing tonight.

Terribly sorry, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp 

Got your email—yes, timestamp noted.

I’m out. Drinking. Loud music, terrible lighting, questionable tequila. I’ll look at the draft during actual work hours. I promise.

Also, you do know that you’re allowed to exist outside work. Don’t apologize for thinking too hard. That’s half your brand.

Buzzing like a drunk bumblebee, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

Yoon,

Enjoy your night out. Try not to bully the DJ. May your drinks be overpriced and your lighting flattering.

And hey—hope you pull. You deserve someone mildly tolerable for a few hours.

Cheers, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp 

The drinks are terrible. The lighting is flattering. I’ve technically pulled, but she’s more interested in the bartender now, which is fine because—

I miss you. You, and your midnight overthinking, and your Excel color codes, and the way you always say “don’t wait up” but still check your inbox five minutes later.

I miss you. Stupidly. Even while I’m here.

Yours at my own risk, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

Yoon,

Pray tell why you're getting drunk and you're "pulling" what I can assume to be ABGs whose names you won't even know in the morning, and yet you're still in the club, emailing me? Missing my drunken emails?

Why? Are the girls of Wall Street not enough for you?

Totally not jealous, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

I can answer this so simply, it won’t even be fun.

The girls of Wall Street will never be you.

No one will ever be you.

I'm not enjoying my night as much as I should because you're not here. I'm in the club, drunk AND emailing you. That should tell you everything.

Come out with me next time. Wreck my plans. Ruin the music. Steal my coat.

I may be playing with fire, but to hell with it.

Burning myself, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp 

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

I can feel you overthinking all the way from here. You’re probably thinking that I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and regret all of this. That I will be unable to face you at work come Monday, when I am no longer drunk out of my mind and thinking you are the most brilliant, most gorgeous, most infuriating person alive. 

You will be right. Thankfully, though, these are—what do the kids call it? ‘Receipts’. You will have a paper trail. These emails will be between you, me, and that Australian guy from IT. 

He will know, and you will know, that I may have the most miniscule work crush on you. 

Jesus Christ. What am I? A high schooler? 

Let’s try that again: Love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. What I’m feeling for you isn’t love. It’s so much more than that.

Love sucks, and I need to sober up, Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

Get home safe, Jeonghan.

Yours, with questions, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

You just called me Jeonghan.

Yours, with answers (maybe), Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

from: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp to: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

That’s your name, isn’t it?

Stop e-mailing me while you’re at the club.

Fine. Yours, L/N Y/N she/her ln.yn@svt.corp

P.S.: I may have the most miniscule work crush on you, too.

from: Yoon Jeonghan yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp to: L/N Y/N ln.yn@svt.corp Subject: Re: Apologies for the Timestamp

i am  goi n    to die

Yoon Jeonghan he/him yoon.jeonghan@svt.corp

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xuminghao_o Not seeing yjh in suits is disconcerting ho5hi_kwon RAH RAH RAH RAHHH woozi_universefactory 👍   ↳ jeonghaniyoo_n JIHOON????????????? pledis_boos U CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM GIRL joshua_acoustic So happy for you two! feat.dino my otp fr jeonghaniyoo_n mine ♥︎ Liked by creator   ↳ yourusername yours,

[nightwingsgypsyrep]

Ok so I’ve been umming and ahhing about making this post for a while. I’ve always kinda planned on it, but seeing these tags on a previous post of mine (no hate to this user) made me want to post something now. It’s also gone 3am. So it’s not really going to be very clean and tidy, and will probably be a bit rambling, but I can always post a ‘tidy’ version another time.

So! Tackling Dick Grayson’s Romani/GRTSB heritage (warning: it’s a long one)

So, as usual, a few disclaimers: 1) I am not American. 2) I myself fall under the GRTSB umbrella - for clarity, I am from the fairground/circus so a Showman, but my family were simply ‘gypsies’ before getting involved in that in the Victorian period, so I use gypsy/traveller/Showman for myself. I also speak Romani and grew up in the culture and on the grounds. I’m not just talking out of my arse, I promise. 3) I do not pretend to have read every comic. However, this post will be based in things which DC have published (yeah I know it gets retconned every two minutes but hey, I’m working with it), even if some of it is more speculative/Headcanony, it will all be canon-compliant/what makes sense based on my own experiences. 4) That being said, everyone who does in some way fall under the GRTSB acronym will have different experiences and opinions, and all are equally valid and should be respected. 5) I use the term ‘gypsy’ a lot. Where I am from, it is not a slur, but is used almost a catch-all phrase for GRTSB people, by us. We also see Dick use it so I’m going to. I personally don’t mind if people use it (so long as they don’t use it as an insult) but not everyone will feel that way, so it’s always better to ask individuals. 6) this post is intended as a fun exploration of a character whom I relate to based on our shared heritage (when it’s really rare to find characters like that). I’m not trying to dictate to you how you should interpret Dick’s character. You’re welcome to different opinions and interpretations - this is just one of mine! :)

So, first, what is GRTSB? Well, it’s an acronym which covers all aspects of the gypsy/traveller umbrella. It is used in British legislation. It stands for Gypsy Romani Traveller Showman (aka fairground and circus) Boater. Under British legislation, only the first three (Gypsies, Romani, and Travellers) are considered an ethnic identity, whilst Showmen and Boaters are considered a cultural identity.

This is absolutely FULL of problems and has been hotly debated for years, with different people identifying in different ways. People who share the same/very similar ethnic heritage (i.e. siblings, or cousins) can have completely different points of view on what they identify as. As such, don’t take it as gospel - it’s more of a guideline than anything. Especially since a) these groups often intermarry, meaning that someone can be multiple at once; b) if a Showman stops travelling with the fair and settles, they don’t become a non-traveller, because it’s in your blood, not just a job; c) people can trace their heritage back past a particular group - e.g. my own family (circus and fairgrounds aka Showmen) can be traced back to at least the 1600s, before fairs were really a thing - at the time, they simply identified as gypsies. They didn’t stop being gypsies just because they changed their job/founded a circus/fairground. As such, many in my family identify primarily as a gypsy or traveller, and a Showman secondarily, whilst others do the opposite, or identify as just a Showman or just a traveller/gypsy. Like I say, this classification is not perfect, and is hotly debated, especially at the present time.

So, now, onto the subject of Dick Grayson. I included the tags above mostly because of the ‘tell me you don’t know a character without telling me you don’t know a character’, because, firstly, rude. secondly, the poster makes reference to the Golden Age. And yeah, obviously DC aren’t going to make reference to Dick being a gypsy in the Golden Age - do you really expect writers in the 40s to care enough about the nuances of a character’s ethnic heritage, especially a gypsy, at a time when it was still common even in countries like England (where legal segregation wasn’t a thing) to have signs on pubs like ‘no blacks, no Irish, no dogs, no gypsies’ - btw we still get those occasionally? However, if we look at the comics which have been published in the eighty five years since Dick’s debut, we see a lot of references to Dick having Romani/GRTSB heritage. Again, I’m not well read, but in Grayson’s run, at least, we do see Dick speaking Romani and self-identifying as a gypsy (Nightwing #91 btw). So I’m sorry but it is definitely canon that Dick has at least some Romani heritage (since Romani, by culture, is not taught to non-travellers on purpose, and is thus only passed down from parent to child. Hell, even some of my cousins who are half gypsy - Diddakois - don’t know the language!), and the fact that he speaks it and IDs as a gypsy does suggest that this is something important to him and his character. I know that being a gypsy is certainly a big thing to me (with how the world treats us, you have to be proud of it and have it be important to you to make it worth it).

So now we come onto the second part of my rant: wtf is going on with Haly’s Circus.

So, an important bit of context is, what makes a gypsy a gypsy? And the answer to that, in my opinion, is a mix between culture and blood. You can’t be a gypsy (unless in circumstances like adoption) unless you have both. What I mean by that is, if you’ve got one gypsy great great great grandparent, but weren’t bought up with the culture and morals, you have gypsy heritage but are not a gypsy. However, if you are a gypsy and you decide to settle down in a house, work in an office, and never speak Romani again, you are still a gypsy. Similarly, if you suddenly decide to take on the gypsy lifestyle (maybe work on the fairgrounds or in the circus, or go travelling like the New Age lot), you are not a gypsy, because it’s not in your blood - hence why it’s an ethnicity, not a cultural thing really. As such, it is common for there to be a us vs them mentality even with those working on the ground - you have the gypsy/traveller/Showman who tends to own/run things, and then you have hired non-GRTSB staff (traditionally called chaps, but this has fell out of fashion in recent years).

Now, I make this distinction because Haly’s Circus is really odd in that regard.

Most gypsy (or Showmen - like I say, it can be both at the same time) ran circuses and fairs tend to be family affairs. For example, it might be John Doe’s Circus on the tin, but the Smith family (which Mr Doe’s sister married into) will often work with and alongside the Does in the running and operating of the events. Largely, this is on an ownership level, with various relations then owning the surrounding supporting elements (e.g. sideshows, fairground rides and joints, food kiosks). Other family members might then help ‘mind’ the stuff, or you can hire non-GRTSB staff to help.

Now to draw on my own family history: historically, in the Victorian period, etc, it was common for the gypsy family who owned the circus to also perform in it. For example, in my grandfather’s circus, my grandmother was a lion tamer and equestrian performer in parades. They did also hire non-traveller performers, but there wasn’t such a distinct line. However, by the 30s approximately, this had changed to be a more managerial role, with it being more common to have purely hired performers in the main event. The exception here was for sideshows and fairground rides - it is still common today for these to be ran/worked by GRTSB people (e.g. my grandmother did the dookering - fortune telling - and my grandfather did the boxing; today, we still run and operate the rides and kiosks).

However, we know that Haly’s circus was not like that. We honestly don’t know if Haly was a gypsy or not. Also, usually, gypsies have such big families and are surrounded by them, but we know that the Graysons died with no living family (no William Cobb does not count here) and had no relation to anyone at Haly’s. I suppose if you want a canon answer, you could point to how Haly’s was used by the Court of Owls, but it could just be Like That. This is unusual but not unheard of, but still worth pointing out I think. Alternatively, it could originate from one of the non-GRTSB started circuses which were popular around the turn of the 20th century. Since being a gypsy is really tied to your family name and, ethnically, means you have to be born into it - you can’t just start a fair and claim to be one-, even 120 years later, these families are still met with scepticism - they could marry into a 100% gypsy family in 1901, and have all of their descendants do the same, and still the older generation would look at their surname and scoff and say they’re not a real traveller because that one great grandfather 100 years ago was not a born-and-bred traveller. But honestly, I think 100 years is enough to integrate. So, to summarise, Haly’s circus is quite unusual in that it does not appear to be operated by only gypsies/Showmen, even if it still common for circuses not to be performed in by just gypsies.

Now, to answer, how Romani is Dick Grayson?

Like I say, canon does explicitly tell us that he has Romani heritage, placing him firmly within that second category of the GRTSB acronym (and he also identifies with the more general Gypsy identity). However, it’s frankly unlikely that the writers really went in depth with the whole GRTSB thing, so I think we can tentatively suggest that he might have also identified (keyword here being ‘might’ - this is more canon-compliant HC here y’all) as a Showman (called a Carney in the US) because the whole deal with being a Showman is the circus/fairground aspect (but, like I say, it is still a ‘gypsy’ identity as you must be born a Showman, you can’t just sign up, because it is based on a mutual gypsy heritage which predates fairgrounds/circuses, which means it still fits into what we know of Dick in canon. As such, Dick being a Showman is hardly canon, but it is 100% compliant with what we know of Dick in canon). As I’ve said, they are not mutually exclusive. He could ID as both or either, or just prefer the all-encompassing ‘gypsy’.

Now, we also know that Dick is not 100% gypsy (but tbh who is nowadays? I have two non-gypsy great-great grandfathers). Although Dick’s family history is limited, we know that his great grandfather William Cobb was likely not a gypsy (he could be ethnically, it’s not ruled out, he might have just settled, but let’s go for safety’s sake here and just say he’s not). Similarly, his partner was from a wealthy non-gypsy family, meaning that ethnically, their baby (John Grayson’s father) was likely not a gypsy (though could potentially have been a Diddakoi aka a half-gypsy, if we believe William Cobb to be a settled gypsy). However, since this baby still grew up amongst the circus, it is not impossible that he ended up marrying a gypsy, which would make John Grayson half gypsy - aka a Diddakoi. In fact, I would argue that it is even likely, owing to the fact that Dick speaks Romani, and the fact that Romani is only taught to other members of the family, meaning that somewhere in the Grayson family, a Romani speaker had to be introduced. Mary Grayson (formerly Lloyd), on the other hand, probably was Romani/GRTSB herself. I say this, based mostly on her closeness with the OG Richard aka Raptor from Seeley’s run, who was Romani, and the fact that it is really common in gypsy circles to mostly mix with other gypsies, meaning that it would make sense for the pair to meet based on the fact that they were both gypsies/Romani. Therefore, I would argue that even if Dick is not wholly Romani/gypsy ethnically (but, like I say, who is nowadays?), I think there is enough both blood and culturally to make a pretty good case for him IDing as such, and foregoing the need to make any distinction. (Also, especially nowadays when Diddakois are increasingly more common, it’s not even that prejudiced to be a Diddakoi. A lot of my cousins are and you don’t even think to mention it). Aka. He’s a gypsy. Nuff said.

Then, I suppose, the final thing I’ll address is the ‘whitewashing’ issue, or, what I really think is a non-issue.

Sure, a lot of ethnically Romani people are dark skinned. There is a reason why the term gypsy exists. Now, as my grandad will tell you, gypsies originated from Northern India about 2000 years ago, before moving into Europe. However, a lot can happen in 2000 years. There are a lot of people in the UK, at least, who identify as purely Romani who have very pale skin. My family has a real split: my dad’s side of the family is quite dark, and are often mistaken for being South Asian in the summer due to how dark they get when they tan. Meanwhile, he refers to my mother’s side of the family as being ‘poxy and pasty’. My mother is a full-blooded traveller btw, same as my dad (barring their singular non-gypsy great grandad they each had). You just can’t paint everybody with the same brush. Take me for example: I am pale af and take after my mum’s side of the family, but I’ve still got the stereotypical dark curly hair and blue eyes of gypsies (which my boy also shares). Genetics are weird. So whilst I am a big fan of dark skinned Romani Dick Grayson, it’s also still ok and accurate for him to be paler. This does not make him any less Romani. (Like I say, this is all based on my experiences in the UK).

SOOO… TLDR:

Dick definitely has Romani heritage. This has been canon for decades and cannot be taken away from him.

He canonically self-IDs as a ‘gypsy’ (as well as the Romani heritage), and may also be interpreted as being a Showman (even if this is more of a European term) if you want to see him that way, especially since a lot of Showman families (mine included) can trace their families back past the origin of the fairground to when they simply identified as gypsies or Romani (hence why Dick might ID as a gypsy with Romani heritage. Honestly, this is mostly in the realm of canon-compliant Headcanon now)

The GRTSB classification system is a mess y’all and everyone has a different opinion. Just roll with it and don’t get into the debates is my professional opinion.

Being Romani/a gypsy/a traveller/a Showman is something you are born into. You can’t just become one, or stop being one. So, if we presume that William Cobb had no Romani heritage/was not a settled-down Gypsy, even after he joined Haly’s he did not become one. It really is in your blood, and is tied to family.

Haly’s circus is unusual because it’s mostly not a family affair (though points for the Graysons sticking with it and inheriting their roles - that is realistic!). It’s unclear how many of the members of the circus are Romani.

Dick also has non-traveller heritage due to the William Cobb thing. His grandfather, at least, was probably not ethnically Romani (though he might have been half if we want to view William Cobb as having Romani heritage/being a settled gypsy). However, since Dick canonically has Romani heritage, IDs as a gypsy, and speaks Romani (a language which is closely guarded amongst gypsies), it had to come in somewhere. Honestly, I think we can comfortably view him as being at least 3/4 ethnically Romani/a Gypsy, but also since modern Dick Grayson was not born during prohibition, this really isn’t a problem as it’s really common for Diddakois (half gypsies) to be treated as full gypsies nowadays.

As much as I love darker skinned Dick Grayson, it’s not a requirement. A lot of the GRTSB community (especially in Western Europe/Britain/Ireland) are on the pale side. This does not take away from their identity.

So that’s my rant. It’s like 3.30am so it’s probably a complete mess but hopefully it gets down the basics, at least insofar as it relates to my experiences and understanding as a gypsy from the fairground/a circus family. People will probably have different experiences (especially since I’m in the UK). Although I have based all of this on canon, and as such it should all be canon-compliant to my knowledge (I’ve still not read all the comics!), it is also equally based on my experiences, so you may interpret it completely differently. The beauty of Dick’s character is that he has been built up over 85 years, and as such, we have to do our best to interpret what was laid down in the Golden Age by writers with no idea of what Dick’s character would grow to be. As such, canon really is a bit of a sandbox, and this is my own go at it!

If anyone has any questions/wants clarification/notices any obvious contradictions with canon since I’ve not read them all yet, please feel free to point it out! This is not intended to be a lecture/call out post/dictatorship on how you view canon, just a small exploration of my interpretation of a character whom I relate to as a Romani speaking gypsy from the fairground/circus myself.

[ahotknife]

okay. well. welcome to my genderweird adam manifesto. standard disclaimers: i’m not god, i’m not the author, i’m not the boss of you. this is one way to interpret things found in the text. you don’t have to interpret it this way. you don’t have to agree with me. stay tuned for part 2 — Ronan Lynch: Electric Boogaloo 🐦‍⬛

this interpretation, for me, is built primarily upon a few key moments.

exhibit a:

exhibits b & c:

exhibits d - g:

other things of note:

in BLLB adam is frequently described by others as “not” a boy, but something more, different, other, separate, a secret third thing that’s never explicitly named

adam is the only male psychic

adam lives under his father’s thumb, in circumstances that are inherently emasculating. adam’s mother is a non-entity. the conflict in the house exists between adam & robert—the discord exists between adam & robert. robert must be more of a man than adam—he won’t accept anything else. it is necessary for robert’s ego that adam be subservient, small, scared. it’s a crucial part of a young man’s development that they have the space/opportunity to exercise/build their masculinity. robert will not allow that—this means that adam must fit into a specific role when he is at home.

it’s noted that when gansey is polite, he takes control by using his manners. in contrast, “when adam was polite, he was giving something away.”

adam himself regularly observes that he is Not Like Other Boys, but instead some Secret Third Thing

all of his jobs are physical and extremely demanding, in typically male-dominated fields

in many ways he performs his masculinity, nowhere near as aggressively as ronan or as easily as gansey, but in a way that’s somewhat defensive, somewhat clumsy

in the same vein, he attributes gansey’s masculinity to his wealth and believes if he’d personally come from privilege he would have all the answers. also, he observes ronan’s relationship with masculinity & magic & is jealous of the way he’s able to present himself as A Dude despite the magic and its inherent otherness. adam isn’t able to do that, yet, and it bothers him. he wanted the only weird things about him to be the magic and the poverty, but it’s so much more than that

he puts himself in situations where he ends up being the one with power/the one who “wears the pants”, because it’s gratifying and validating for him to feel like he’s The Man

robert observes at one point that there’s “something not right about that boy” and that adam has “grown up into someone he doesn’t like very much”

adam fights gansey about moving into monmouth because he doesn’t want to “belong” to gansey. he specifically says: “i’m his [robert] now, and then i’ll be yours.” ownership of his body and autonomy over his person are a huge part of adam’s character and his journey. there’s also probably something to be said here about daughters & the way they are by and large expected to go directly from their father’s house to their husband’s house. the marriage pipeline—he identifies himself here as a housewife or a daughter, not in words, but in stating what he believes would become his role in life should he allow robert/gansey to be his parent/patron/landlord/supervisor

he’s often paralleled/yoked to blue in the text, which is partially about class, but blue observes that he “doesn’t go to aglionby like Other Boys went to aglionby” and she returns his compliment by saying “i think you’re pretty too”

trb chapter 20 when Ronan Who Isn’t Ronan outperforms him at groceries is just as much about him envying power and presence and masculinity as it is him envying money and privilege. that boy is better at being a boy than him—why can’t adam be a boy like that?

to sum up: i think he’s a little weird. i think he’s kind of like that tweet that’s like “im probably nonbinary but i have a job so i can’t worry about that rn”. i don’t necessarily read him as nb, but you get my point.

the other thing i think it’s really important to remember when taking this lens to adam is that he’s part of the gay community, but he’s not Culturally Queer. he collects lgbt friends in college like funko pops—he doesn’t think he’s one of them, he doesn’t think they’re capable of knowing or understanding him. he’s not assimilating himself into the culture/community—he’s hiding behind it—he’s identified marginalized people who “needed” him (where did he find you crying?) and has made himself their knight in shining armor.

i’ve said this before when analyzing adam’s character and i’ll say it again: he is going to possess a creeping sense of alienation and otherness for the rest of his life, and he is going to do everything other than think about or address it properly. he is going to be weird and insecure and A Secret Third Thing forever. hooray!

[nabi-unveiled]

Hiii!

Several times lately you've said my personal weatherman is a comfort show.

You do realize it's an abusive relationship don't you?

I'm not sure why you would find comfort in abuse, but it may be something to reflect on or talk about with someone.

I say that with the upmost kindness.

Hello Anon!

I do love My Personal Weatherman. I take GREAT comfort in that show. It's not flawless by any means, but it makes my synapses buzz in the best possible way.

That doesn't mean it's a comfort show for everyone.

I am fully aware that many find Segasaki/Yoh's dynamic to be problematic or consider it an abusive relationship. If you see it that way, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't find it a comfort show. It's a valid response to that interpretation.

Before I go further, please know that I do not want to negate anyone's personal experiences or opinions in this post. You are more than welcome to disagree!

But on MY blog - I will defend these characters with everything in my being.

In short - I do NOT see it as an abusive relationship. I see it as two people figuring out how their life together is going to work. Which is HARD and ONGOING. Especially for two introverts who keep a lot of their thoughts in their heads. I feel that struggle in the core of my being.

Thanks to some of the subtitle/scripting issues, many people misinterpret how long they've "lived together". (That post has a pretty great timeline if you're interested.) They didn't start living together until Yoh graduated, and they've only been living together a few months. They are still learning a lot about each other and their relationship. Even if they'd been living together a long time, figuring life out together is a process. It's not an easy one.

Do I think either character is a green flag? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Are they very flawed people? Yes.

Are they crap communicators? Yes.

Is there a power imbalance? Yes, but only when Yoh allows it. Yoh enjoys the power play. Yoh IS allowing it. No question in my mind on that score.

It's VERY important to realize that Yoh is the epitome of an unreliable narrator and partial viewpoints/perspectives are in play. For anyone not familiar with it, that means Yoh's perspective is misleading us to a degree in the early episodes. His words in particular cannot be trusted. Before someone comes at me about dismissing a character's words or belittling their feelings, this is an actual literary and narrative tool.

I love Yoh. He's processing best he can. He doesn't know the best words to use. He struggles to figure out what his emotions mean and how to read other people. Like most of us in life, he's figuring crap out.

And Segasaki is figuring his crap out too. But they're TRYING.

Now do I think their relationship is a role model for "BDSM" as it sometimes gets labeled? Please. Dear God. No. Just no. That requires GOOD communication and clear negotiation. See earlier point. They're crap at that...so very human.

However, I do think this is a lifestyle dominant/submissive relationship. By that I mean they have naturally fallen into these roles based on their personalities and preferences. It's more common than you might think, but that's probably an entirely different post.

Actually, if you're interested in the dominant/submissive aspect, LutaWolf had a whole series of posts about this show.

There is also a fabulous amount of language analysis for this show that dives into what the language usage says/depicts about their relationship.

And yes, I've read every one of those posts. Most of them multiple times. I read them when they were WROTE. I have an entire folder of posts about this show BOOKMARKED on my computer, because I didn't even have a Tumblr account at the time.

Where was I? Oh right - why I find comfort in it. Like many things I like or love, I don't really know. Why do I find pangolins adorable? Why do I love sweaters? Why do I enjoy asymmetrical earrings? I don't stress over it. I just accept that I love them.

Is it because I think the sexuality embedded and a rain soaked Yoh are BEAUTIFUL? I'm sure that is 100% part of it. It's a valid reason to indulge.

Is it possibly a result of me growing up in a hierarchical community with a heavy amount of toxic masculinity that I enjoy seeing dominant/submissive interactions? Maybe. That would not make my enjoyment of the show less valid.

Is it possibly a manifestation of untreated trauma or personal struggles of some kind? Maybe. That would not make my enjoyment of the show less valid.

Is it possible that I see either myself or my own relationship in their relationship at times? Yes, that is absolutely true. Still a valid reason to enjoy it.

Regardless, here's what I know without a doubt.

🍛

Segasaki eats the curry. Every. damn. time. And Yoh makes it. Every. damn. time.

There's an entire essay in why that's so very very important for both of them.

🔆

Yoh wants this relationship. Badly.

There's an entire essay in why I think that too.

🌀

Segasaki NEEDS Yoh. Yoh is his safe space. The one place he can relax and be himself.

There's an entire essay in that one too.

I haven't thought about this show just a little. I've lived and breathed in this show. I could write books on this show.

But frankly, feel free to worry about me if you want. If that's what you want to spend your energy on, have at it. I won't be stressing though. Because as much as I enjoy this show, Segasaki is not who I want.

I know the real dream when I see it.

It's Manju's husband. If only. Manju is the one living my dream here. Fully accepted for her nerdy, kinky, fangirl self.

[bamtwozled]

I need to hear thoughts on craftsverse dan

the thing that fascinates me the most about him is that he’s kind of afraid of what he is. dan appears to be a much better conduit for the occult forces they’re trying to communicate with—in glitter faces, he draws the pentagram seemingly without his own knowledge, in potato prints he seems to have some ability to understand what they’ve summoned when it speaks to him, and in slime he’s the one entrusted with completing the ritual to bring Him into their world (there’s also the little clip of him spinning the slime bowl presumably with his mind, which isn’t on the same level but is still a “something’s up with this guy” indicator nonetheless).

and yet there are multiple points where he’s afraid of what’s happening to him. in glitter faces, he panics when he discovers that he’s drawn the pentagram, and phil has to guide him back from it. in slime, he’s very clearly upset both before and after cutting his hand open to contribute the blood, and only starts laughing again when phil does. when the ritual is complete and He rises, dan full-body flinches. he still does all these things he’s supposed to do, up to and including literally stabbing phil to death and carving out his heart, even though doing so does seem to pretty significantly affect him, but he’s clearly not as perfectly on board with everything they’re doing as phil is.

phil’s role is pretty straightforward. he’s the true believer, and the sacrifice that’s happy to be a sacrifice because of that faith. he’s the driving force in these videos. he’s always the one to introduce the craft and guide dan and the audience through it, and he has more lines that directly acknowledge his absolute faith (think “I can’t see, but that’s okay, because I believe” from potato prints, or “I’m happy to give it to him” when dan says “this was just a start, but he’ll need it straight from the source” in slime, and that attitude around his own impending death also contrasts with dan’s trepidation around his own much smaller blood sacrifice). there aren’t really any times where his devotion or persona waver, but dan’s do.

and like I think there are plenty of things you can read into that, although we get more into headcanon territory rather than a direct interpretation of the video. the simplest explanation is that he does believe on his own, it’s just not quite as unshakeable as phil’s faith and confidence. another interpretation that I’ve played with in the past is that his devotion is more to phil than to Him, and his belief comes more from following phil than directly of his own accord. phil’s “everybody makes mistakes” in glitter faces is just a silly little line about dan being left handed, but in looking at dan having some fear of his own abilities, it’s possible that he sees plenty of things about himself as being a mistake, especially if any of this manifested before he really knew what was happening. finding someone who accepts and likes that part of him, even if it’s just because it’s useful, would be welcome, and could easily push him into this acolyte mindset. but again that’s all just like interesting headcanon territory based on how their power dynamic seems to me to play out in their videos, and there are plenty of other equally valid ways to read it.

I just think “this is the one thing he was made perfectly for, and yet it scares him” is such a fun and fascinating basis for a character like this, and I think it adds a lot more depth and room for interesting speculation than if they’d both been 100% complete believers

[rachelmcewanart]

I know the Solavellan ending has sparked some intense discourse, with opinions falling sharply between love and hate. Personally, I’m in the 'love' camp, and while maybe my voice isn’t needed, I can’t resist sharing why it resonates so strongly with me. I don’t have anyone in my life who understands (or cares) about this, so here goes.

For me, the ending we got captures the essence of Solas and the Solavellan relationship beautifully. Solas is deeply passionate but also, as I interpret him, inherently reserved. Their relationship reflects this—intimate and private, removed from the public gaze in a way that other romances in Inquisition aren’t. Think of how Cullen’s romance unfolds on the battlements, Josie’s duel is a public affair, Blackwall, when being judged, had the option to be a more public declaration of love, and kissing Doran happened where anyone could walk by and see. These relationships have public elements, while Solas and Lavellan’s moments remain intensely private. Their first kiss takes place in the Fade, the second on Lavellan’s private balcony, and their final meeting is secluded in Crestwood. Even looking to their scene in Trespasser as another example. Their love is personal, something shared only between them.

To me, the reunion in Veilguard perfectly honours that pattern. The fact they even kissed with a small audience was new, but still, they spoke to each other in a language that kept things private. Also, Solas is severely injured and likely in a state of shock—it’s a vulnerable, raw moment rather than one for sweeping gestures. There’s so much they need to unpack, with conversations that may turn heated, but now they have the time to do it. That they even received a happy ending was a surprise, but a welcome one—I didn’t expect it, and it felt like a fitting conclusion.

(A final note that these are just my feelings and interpretation. Everyone's are valid, of course)

[elexuscal]

Welcome to the Murderbot Diaries Fandom!

Hello, hello! Our favorite anxious half robot, half-human security construct has made it to streaming, introducing it to a whole new audience! While that leaves the temptation to put on our helmets and hide in the corner, I'm putting my best foot forward to mimic Dr. Mensah and welcome you all to our hab!

My intention with this post is to give a little bit of a guide to newcomers to get them situated, and generally just say hi.

What's Murderbot?

Murderbot is the titular character of The Murderbot Diaries, a book series by Martha Wells. Book 1, All Systems Red, is currently being adapted by a new streaming series on Apple TV. The (two) series follow a rogue ‘SecurityUnit’ as it befriends humans and robots alike, steals its freedom, and does what it can against the hyper-capitalist companies that rule much of the galaxy.

Spoilers Abound!

As far as we can tell, the (presumed first) season of the Murderbot show will cover only book 1 of what is currently a six-book series (with two additional short stories, and two more entries planned).

As such, there will be spoilers lurking in the tags! This includes future events, reveals, and characters.

If you're new and don't want to be spoiled, stick to the tags #Murderbot Show and #Murderbot TV. It's also a courtesy of fans of the book series to keep TV show discussion in that tag as opposed to the book tags #Murderbot Diaries and #TMBD. (Though I'm going to be honest, there's like a bazillion tags at this point so this might be a losing battle. Oh well, we try!)

Sharing Spaces

The fundamental themes are Murderbot are about the power of kindness and compassion, and the importance of respecting those different from you. Those are ideals I hope we can continue to foster as our little fandom grows.

What does that mean?

Primarily, it means recognizing that there are going to be different perspectives, and that's okay! Some people are really excited by an adaptation of the books they love; some are skeptical. Plus, of course a whole bunch of folks who have only just been introduced to MB via TV! All are valid! Let's not be rude to those who disagree with our own perspective.

It also means respecting different interpretations of the character and stories. We don't know how much the story of books and show are going to diverge; certainly, even faithful adaptations need to make changes to take advantage of a new medium. And indeed, even when you're reading the same text, people can come away with very different perspectives. We need to make room for all those perspectives to hang out together.

Identity and Representation

The Murderbot of the books is nonbinary, using it/its pronouns. There’s heavy emphasis in the text that Murderbot is wholly uninterested in both sex and romance, and it is therefore very commonly interpreted as asexual and aromantic, not to mention touch-averse and neurodivergent. As such, you'll find many folks from these communities within the fandom. Please try to be kind and respectful of these groups!

As always, the fandom principles of 'Ship and Let Ship' and 'Your Kink Is Not My Kink (And That's Okay)' applies. That said, it's a two way street, and there are ways to approach shipping that recognises why many other fans won't share your interests. Write shippy fic, draw shippy art, just tag appropriately and be respectful of ace and aro-spec identities as you do.

Respecting representation also extends to visual depictions of the characters! With a new show out, it of course follows that many people will be making fanart reflecting its cast! However, the books themselves are often very scant on physical descriptions, reflecting Murderbot's often laconic style. This leaves a bit of a blank canvas for fanart. While we're definitely going to be seeing a lot of fanart representing Skarsgard's Murderbot (as well as the rest of the show's cast), you’re also going to be seeing pieces  taking inspiration from other places, such the official book cover art by Tommy Arnold,  the voice actor of the audiobooks, Kevin R. Free, and artists’ own imagination! This means other interpretations of the characters in terms of racial background, build, and gender presentation. That's awesome! Let's keep enthusiasm for all ways of depicting this awesome universe going!

Fandom Is Fun

Above all, fandom is a place of joy, connection, and creativity. Be kind to others; block those who are bringing you down; share and emphasize the things you love!

If this is your first time finding Murderbot; welcome! I think you've got a real treat ahead of you. I'm glad you're here. 👋

[lukolabrainrot]

Welcome to My TedTalk

Hellooooo, I know I have been a little MIA lately... needed a little break after the energy shift from the rollercoaster last week. But I am still here lol and I have been marinating on quite a few things the last couple of weeks. So below are my thoughts. As always, everything here are just my thoughts and speculation from the information I have seen. Others might interpret information differently, and that is fine. Note: This will be another one of my long posts lol

Let's start with the obvious. October was a ROLLERCOASTER. It started off soooo strong, and the closest I think we have ever come to L/N publicly announcing they are in a relationship. And THEN... It was just total whiplash the rest of the month. Not a fun feeling right?? And I think a lot of people have started to feel like they can't trust L/N and have sooooo many questions on why October went the way it did. I think a lot of people are also feeling very frustrated because we have gotten so many clues/crumbs/Easter Eggs that haven't really led anywhere. All your various feelings around everything lately are valid. But L/N are allowed to do what they want (obviously) and if crumbs/Easter Eggs are all they want/can show us rn, we have to accept that. October was a rough month for me as well on this ship, which is why I took a couple breaks. We have to remember that we choose to be on this ship, we don't HAVE to be. It's totally valid if you're feeling overwhelmed/not having fun on the ship anymore, you can always take a break and come back if/when you want to. WE DO NOT KNOW L/N. NONE OF US. These are celebrities whose lives are very different than ours (which I know is obvious, but I thought it was important to note). They are human though and allowed to be imperfect, and we get to choose how much energy we give to them. And I have said this multiple times, but they do not owe us anything, and DESERVE to have a private life. We have so many questions related to them, and the fact is, we are never going to have all the answers. And you know what, that is how it should be imo. We are not owed every little detail of their life, and honestly, we got lucky we even got crumbs. THEY DID NOT HAVE TO DO THAT. They will go public WHEN they want/can.

People have talked about this before, but we got an AMAZING tour from them and sooooo much content. SOOOO MUCH. And we got addicted, and then were were cut off cold turkey, and papgate was a total grenade that threw everything into chaos. However, L/N were OBVIOUSLY hiding behind their characters during the WT (no one can convince me otherwise). And we talk about blurred lines between them and their characters, but L/N ARE NOT Polin (although there are a lot of similarities with their stories). There were definitely blurred lines between them and their characters yes, but neither of them are their characters and are a lot more complex and complicated. Lastly, I think because we got soooo much content from them, and they were obviously using their own personal relationship/feelings for each other to promote their characters and the season, L/N kind of lost control of their public narrative related to their private lives. I think that, and leaving everything open to speculation (STILL), was their biggest mistake. But like I said, everything has to be on their own time, and they do have good teams to handle this stuff.

I think we all know this already, but in case it's not obvious... DM has a personal vendetta against N, they do not like her getting positive attention, and I can't stress this enough, THEY WANT HER TO FAIL. 1000%. I think there are a lot of complexities on why this is the case, but you can make your own conclusions on why this is happening. But it IS happening. And you should never get your information directly from DM. They are a sensationalist, tabloid blog. THEY ARE NOT A RELIABLE NEWS SOURCE. THAT IS A FACT.

This fandom has turned INCREDIBLY toxic, and most of the drama is coming from WITHIN the fandom and in-fighting. We don't have concrete answers about ANYTHING related to L/N's romantic lives. Shipping should be fun and low stakes, because ultimately, who they are dating doesn't REALLY matter. That is their personal life, and they are not defined by who they are dating. But like I just mentioned, I think L/N leaving the wolves to mass speculation was one of their biggest mistakes, and has now led the fandom to where it is and this mass speculation and interest in their dating lives, which is feeding the tabloid frenzy and rumors.

Alright, now that I got that out of the way, on to my thoughts on everything the last couple of months:

Firstly, I HIGHLY recommend, if you haven't already, reading through this entire post by @fiamat12. It is incredibly enlightening and well laid out! Couple things I want to add/note:

The paparazzi are a money hungry machine, constantly looking for opportunities that will get them the most money. Ethics... out the window. Ethics/respect doesn't get them money. As long as there is a demand for "candid" photos/videos of celebrities' private/personal lives, and unless laws/regulations significantly change around them, this industry will continue being this way. This means though that the material they circulate is not always what meets the eye. It is just a moment in time with very little context, and in general, a total violation of privacy. However, unfortunately, it is a beast celebrities have to navigate, and sometimes they play games with them to protect their privacy.

L has not been seen in real time (via paps or people in public) since Sorrento. THREE MONTHS. And although we joke that L has just been holed up in their house (yeah I said it), L has definitely been out in public living his life. And y'all, people WANT to see him. I know he doesn't stand out as much as N and can blend into the crowd more, but there is NO WAY no one has seen him in three months. There is some strategy in place here where he has been able to keep a VERY low profile, and I think some of these side characters are part of that strategy. And no one can convince me that his low profile has NOTHING to do with the fact that him and N are together.

2. Alright, side characters... let's first get to the A of it because it's pretty obvious to me. I'm going to keep this short. She plays games. This isn't new. There are VERY likely NDAs in place. This isn't new information either. And she LOVES attention by stirring the pot. Therefore, any time we give her any engagement, we are feeding the beast.

3. Onto JD... this post basically summarizes my thoughts. NOTHING about JD has been private. There isn't anything to protect there from the masses. IF JD (and I'm not saying he is) was her serious partner, there wouldn't be so many public games with the two of them. There are a lot of games, and if this was a serious relationship she wanted to protect, she wouldn't be throwing him and her to the wolves. She just wouldn't. But L... she doesn't mess around about him. Although L/N have given us crumbs, they have obviously not been totally honest about their private relationship with each other (which is totally valid), because there is a lot there they want to protect from the wolves.

4. So if you have made it this far, you can see there is a LOT going on, and it's complex. And although L/N have maybe not been totally honest about everything, they don't have to be and there are reasons. And that doesn't therefore mean they have been totally disingenuous about each other and aren't to be trusted. I personally don't think they have. However, they want to protect their privacy. Even though October was a rollercoaster, in no way do I believe L and N are hot and heavy with A or JD. There is just too much evidence to the contrary that L/N are in a serious relationship BTS, and likely have been for a while. Here are some of the reasons I have come to this conclusion:

THE RINGS (everything about them)

The photo of L in her house while she was getting ready with a ring on his ring finger (we can argue all we want, those are his hands and that pic was VERY intentional)

N's TIME article

The October 3rd and BRB story from L (HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS ON HIS PUBLIC ACCOUNT IN A LONGG TIME)

The coordinated travel posts from L/N when they were going to NY

Chaos week from N in early August (that was about L, no one can convince me otherwise)

BLESS THE TELEPHONE (That was how I knew they were together and had been for a while likely... can't exactly explain it)

TalkTalk, Juna

The recent Polin pic they BOTH shared to their stories (they were both really emotional looking (N was absolutely beaming and looked like she had tears in her eyes) and the pic was VERY interestingly cropped 🤔)

All the "boyfriend" pics of L on N's IG page (I did a whole post about this that you can find if you scroll through my page)

The Polaroid(s)

THE WHOLE WT (which is why a lot of us are still here despite all the noise and emotional whiplash)

And trust me, both L and N know what people are saying and how people are interpreting the information they are putting out to the public. THEY KNOW. So if there was NOTHING going on between them, that would have been corrected atp and they wouldn't have fed the flames. But it hasn't and they have... They'll go public when they are ready/can. Until then, we just have to sit back, relax, and wait and see how everything unfolds.

And THAT is where I am with everything atp. Of course, we're all going to interpret the same information we are seeing a little differently, which is fine. This is just my interpretation of the information.

And if you made it to the end... thank you for coming to my TedTalk 😅

[venussaidso]

ashwini: puppy eyes

Ashwinis also have puppy eyes. Round, youthful, sometimes seemingly harmless.

No one's ever seemed to point this out, but I've been frequently seeing it. Another tip that helps separate them from Revatis.

Puppy eyes. Yes. You're welcome.

Ashwini Moons Lindemann, Paul McGann, Tom Hiddleston*.

Ashwini Sun Rooney Mara.

Ashwini Moons Jared Leto, Eva Green, Tom Hiddleston*.

ketu–> dogs 🐶

Young Paul McGann looks like if you morphed Christian Bale's & Hiddleston's faces together and I just find that so validating.

Again with their high fashion, sculpted physiques.

Ashwini appearances help me understand this nakshatra more. They remind me of dashing horses sometimes, quite sophisticated, if they want to be, which contrasts the puppy look while the puppy look contradicts their intimidating qualities. Revati is finished with the binaries and Ashwini is constantly dissolving and rebuilding, aka shape-shifting, being a bit of every little thing which contradicts each other. According to most online vedic sites, the twin deities of this nakshatra signify dualism, but in my opinion, it is the lack of identity which causes one to wear and remove different skins each time. My interpretation, anyway.

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[msschemmenti]

girl next door 🏠 - 9

After Tina’s departure, the neighborhood calmed. Or at least the jealousy calmed. And with the quietness came time to reflect. The Prentiss-Jareau ladies had been pretty MIA for the weeks following their introduction to Tina. 

“Well, the showcase is the Friday before Thanksgiving.”

“Perfect, so I’ll spend Thanksgiving with you and your hot neighbors.” Grayson decided. Y/n chuckled softly and really thought about a holiday with Emily and JJ. 

“I highly doubt that they’d be in attendance, but you’re always welcome to celebrate with me. You sure you don’t want to head home to your family?” 

“Oh, I’m positive. There’s only so much green bean casserole and stuffing a person can take. Also, why wouldn’t your lovers be joining us for Thanksgiving Dinner? If my memory serves me right, which it normally does, they’re not exactly chefs.” Grayson prodded. 

“I’m sure they have their own families to visit for one. And for two, they’ve been acting a little weird since Tina came to visit.” 

“Weird how?” Grayson asked, eagerly focusing on the prospect of gossip. 

“Oh I don’t know, you know how I spent the night over at Tina’s hotel room? Well, I come home the next day and they’re all ‘Surprised you’re home’ when you and I both know I spend almost all of my time at home. And then they’re short as all get out with me for the rest of the week.” Y/n started to recount, replaying the conversations that happened over the course of the week. “All of that continued until I introduced them to Tina Sunday before her show. They come out of the house wearing next to nothing and suddenly they’re very interested in Tina. But you know how T is– bless her heart. She basically told them I’d been gushing about our bedroom time the whole time she was there. All that to say, since then I haven’t really heard from them. I don’t even know if they’re in town. They could be off in Idaho somewhere for all I know.” 

Grayson was quiet for a second, only a second before she squeal in glee. “They’re jealous! This it’s a cannon event in the FWB to Lovers arc. Your one-time-long-term committed relationship pops up to visit only weeks after you’ve all started your neighbors-with-benefits arrangement which you haven’t actually discussed and they don’t know what to do with their feelings.” Y/n scoffed at Grayson’s very dramatic interpretation of her time in DC and was readying a rebuttal when the other woman gasped through the phone again. “They probably thought you slept with her the night you didn’t come home.” 

“I think you’ve been spending too much time watching the Young and the Restless. Not everything is so cinematic.” 

“That’s a valid criticism of how I spend my time, but you aren’t even denying it which leads me to believe– you’ve already come to this conclusion.” 

“Well I wasn’t born yesterday. I wasn’t sure at first– but when they came prancing down the sidewalk in their running gear, I could see through it like a windowpane. Especially considering Emily would never go jogging for fun. But even Jesus had eyes and trust me, there was so much to see.” 

“If you know they’re jealous, why not just have a conversation with them about it? I mean, it feels like there's something there to explore.”

“And I’m not opposed to that, but they’ve initiated everything in this arrangement. I’m not beating their doors down for sex whenever the mood strikes. With their schedules alone, it’s very much on their terms. Additionally, if this were to transcend the loosely-established-never-discussed rules they’d have the most adjustment to figure out. They’ve got a life together and this just feels like something they might want to discuss at length.” 

“And if they’re already having these conversations?” Grayson prompted. 

Y/n pursed her lips as her cheeks reddened and lifted her shoulder in a shrug, “then they’re having those conversations.”

-

And JJ and Emily had indeed been having those conversations. It was very clear and glaringly obvious that they were interested in something more exclusive with Y/n but bringing an outsider into their already tight schedule was proving to be a harder thing to discuss. 

“Wait, when would we even date her? Court her? It’s not like we have an abundance of free time.” Emily asked on their drive into the office one morning. 

“Well I mean we get some weekends off.” JJ supplied with a shrug. 

“Yeah maybe like three a year…” Emily grimaced. 

JJ rolled her eyes and reminded Emily that they’d almost exclusively seen Y/n on the weekends thus far. And she seemed more than okay with that schedule. “Especially with her schedule during the week, weekends seem to be the best for everyone involved.”

Emily nodded, seeming satisfied with JJ’s words but that wasn’t the last time either of them had questions about the logistics of this decision. And once they’d finally felt like they came to a good place on what they both wanted from this arrangement. The only problem became finding the time to actually broach the subject with their neighbor. The professor’s schedule had progressively gotten busier with classes in the morning and rehearsals in the evenings. It also didn’t help that the BAU seemed to be working cases non-stop. 

-

“God am I glad that’s over.” Morgan  groaned as each of them boarded the jet quietly. They’d just wrapped up a case in Georgia that had seemingly rattled everyone to their core. With the heavy air clouding the jet, it was no surprise when Emily and JJ made their way to two isolated seats next to each other in the cabin. They often did this when things got too hard for them to self-soothe and left over stress from their bodies. Everyone on the team knew of their relationship, so they didn’t bat an eye when the women snuggled close under a blanket. JJ’s head on Emily's shoulder and both of their eyes closed. Usually, the closeness would give both women some calm, but the tension seemed to course through their bodies even after landing. 

As the women made their way to the government-issued SUV, JJ couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that she needed something. Her chest had been abnormally tight since they’d landed in Georgia and despite the rocky end to the case, she thought she’d get some relief knowing it was over. But the tension was still there and not even the pressure of Emily’s hand on her thigh seemed to be soothing the ache. She wasn’t exactly anxiety-prone. She surely had her moments of stress— but this sort of worrying wasn’t something she was familiar with. She can only really think of a few times she’d felt like that and they’d all stemmed from Emily. And the fact that the feeling was still there, pulling at her heart, with Emily right next to her confused her.

JJ flipped her phone over in her hand as she mentally assessed her body’s current state. The case was hard, yes, most of them were but something was very different about this case. A man kidnapping and holding young women on a college campus wasn’t exactly the ideal situation but they’d been able to save the last victim. They’d predicted that the unsub wouldn’t go out easily and that was true but overall the case was closed. The more she thought about it the further her mind went from the case itself and more to the experience as a whole. They’d milled through dozens of people for the week they’d been there. All those families filed in and out of the local precinct and the one thing JJ could remember from all of them was that familiar Southern twang. The twang they hadn’t heard in weeks. The twang she found herself missing. Or when the wife of one of the deputies brought in a homemade pie to thank the team for their hard work. JJ had never considered her a pie connoisseur, but she knew this pie didn’t hold a candle to the ones she’d had since Y/n moved in. 

Now after she and Emily got together, she always saw Emily in the world. Whether she was there physically or not. And when she struggled like this, she reached for and leaned on Emily as well. She hadn’t ever experienced that with someone else in her life. But here she was thinking about Y/n, missing her accent, and craving her cooking. Part of her even knew she was craving the physical comfort of their neighbor as well. The neighbor they’d been casually sleeping with for three months (well not in the last few weeks but still three months). 

And even though Emily and JJ had ultimately decided to explore more with the young woman, she still didn’t know that. And honestly, needing to cuddle after a hard day at work didn’t seem very casual. Not casual at all. And not something they’d done with any other woman they’d brought to bed. But then again, that seemed on brand for the way things had been going so far for the three of them.

JJ was itching to reach for her phone again. Maybe just a text would satiate the need and quiet the desire she was feeling. A simple sign of life from the young professor and maybe a plan to see her this weekend. With Emily’s focus on the road she pulled her phone back out and unlocked it. She scrolled past the group chat Garcia was blowing up and opened a new text chain with Y/n. She typed and untyped trying to figure out what she could possibly say to the younger woman. Especially at this hour. 

JJ: Hi, we just landed and are heading home. Let me know if you need anything? If not, maybe we can get together this weekend.

She hit send and closed the app. Watching and waiting would only make her more anxious. She peeked over the console at Emily. The brooding brunette seemed to still be just as off balance as JJ and she could only wonder if it was for the same reasons as her. She didn’t have to wonder for long. 

“Why don’t you text Y/n and see if she needs anything before we head in for the night,” Emily suggested as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Already ahead of you.” JJ grimaced sheepishly. “Are you aching to see her as much as i am right now?” 

Emily sighed, “I’ll be honest, I don’t understand it myself. But I feel like I spent this entire case trying not to think about her and see her in everyone we spoke to. I just feel like I need to see her. I thought on the jet back I'd even out enough to get through the night but it’s just nagging.” 

“Well, that’s a relief. I didn’t know how to explain it to you. It is pretty late and she might be asleep already. She’s not answered my message yet,” JJ mused as she looked at her phone.

“I know. If she’s not expecting us she’s normally in bed by 8:30. If she doesn’t message back within the next 15 minutes, we’ll just grab her something wherever we decide to eat.” Emily suggested. 

“Works for me.” JJ nods and they head for home. 

-

Y/n groaned a bit as she felt her phone vibrate under her pillow. She was sure it was a text from Grayson about her night out, so she snuggled closer to her pillow and burrowed closer to sleep. What she wasn’t expecting was for the phone to continue vibrating. She pulled her phone from under her pillow with her eyes still closed and fumbled to answer the call. 

“Hello?” She spoke softly into the phone. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was hoping you were still awake.” JJ sighed through the phone as she looked up at the younger woman’s house.

“No no, it’s okay. Is everything okay?” Y/n asked reaching to turn her bedside lamp on. “Are y’all just getting home?” 

“Yeah, we just got back. We weren’t sure if you were up but we got you something to eat either way. Emily insisted on getting you a blizzard.” JJ answered. 

“Oh, is it a choco brownie extreme?” Y/n asked sleepily, getting out of bed. 

“Of course. If you come to unlock the door we can bring it in.” JJ smiled, already feeling the tension lessen in her chest. 

“Already on my way,” Y/n said, ending the call and opening the door. The professor was clad in far less than she normally slept in. A pair of panties, a tank top, and a pink eye mask. But always on her feet were the adorable fluffy slippers she practically lived in while at home. As soon as the door was open and the older women got eyes on Y/n, the weight of the world seemed to lift fractionally. 

“Hi.” Y/n smiled sleepily reaching to grab both Emily and JJ by the wrists to pull them inside. 

“Sorry for waking you.” JJ apologized again, allowing the younger woman to pull them through the mud room and hallway. 

“Oh don’t worry about it, you brought gifts. All is forgiven.” Y/n locked the door and flicked the lights off as they went. “Come on, we’re eating upstairs.” 

As soon as they entered the younger woman’s bedroom the women took it in. All of their escapades had taken place in their home or on various surfaces on the main level of Y/n’s house. So this was the first time they’d actually even been in her bedroom. Y/n took the bag of food and ice cream from Emily’s hands and sat them down on her bedside table. She turned to the women and walked over to the gallery wall they were observing. 

“Hm, I just realized y’all ain’t been up here before,” Y/n said, linking her arms with the older women and redirecting them to her bed. “I tell you what, y'all can explore all you want in the morning, okay? I wanna eat my ice cream and then close my eyes again. And I’ve already locked up so I hope you’re okay with spending the night.” Y/n poked both of their hips affectionately before throwing herself into the center of the bed dramatically. 

JJ was the first to follow Y/n. She shimmied out of her work clothes and pulled the bra from under her tank top. She filed in and Emily followed suit taking the opposite side of the bed. JJ distributed the food and all the women fell into a comfortable silence. They all munched quietly, both Emily and JJ eyeing each other over the younger woman’s head. Looked like they were getting more than they had anticipated, without having to verbalize it. Who were they to complain?

Y/n paused before biting into another fry and turned to them apologetically, “I’m sorry I get a lil bossy when I'm sleepy. You don’t have to stay the night if you don’t want to. I’m sure you want to go sleep in your own bed after being away for so long.” 

“No no, it’s fine. I’m sure we’ll be more than comfortable.” JJ answered easily. 

“Well alright, I have toothbrushes in the bathroom. Just let me know if you need anything.” Y/n finished off her ice cream and shimmied down below the covers. Emily and JJ quietly went into the bathroom. Emily was the first to make it back to bed, and as the bed dipped Y/n cracked an eye open to study the older woman. Emily hadn’t said very much of anything since they’d arrived. She seemed to be carrying a pretty heavy load that Y/n wasn’t privy to. but part of the younger woman could feel the tension radiating off her neighbors. She reached a hand out for the brunette and pulled her under the covers quietly. Y/n turned to face Emily with a sleepy smile. She kissed her temple sweetly and nudged her nose with her own before pulling the older woman into a hug. “I hope this helps.” the older woman shuddered a bit at her words and pulled Y/n tighter when she moved to let go. She held her until she felt her heart settle and once she let go, she placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. 

JJ returned and crawled into bed. She lay on her back first and watched as Y/n reached across her to turn the lamp off. Once in the dark she lay restless, trying to work up the courage to actually cuddle up to the younger woman like her body wanted. just as she had talked herself out of it, Y/n piped up, “Y’all wanna cuddle or what?”

That seemed to finally break the heaviness that had been hanging over the agents and they both laughed and gazed at the professor sweetly.

Once their laughter died down, JJ felt Y/n pull her body against her chest. Turning to face her, JJ was surprised to see the woman’s eyes still closed. Y/n pillowed her head in her chest and allowed her fingers to run through her blonde waves. As JJ sighed and twined their legs together Y/n used her free hand to pull Emily's arm over her hip to rest on JJ’s. Both women sandwiched her between them with deep content sighs. As they relaxed against her body, Y/n figured she’d gotten it right. She kissed JJ’s forehead sweetly and whispered a sleepy goodnight to both women and allowed sleep to take over. It took JJ and Emily a bit to actually fall asleep but when they did it was one of the best nights they’d had in a while. 

[badwolfrose34]

My analysis of River Song (not River friendly)

This essay has been brewing in my mind for awhile. If you don’t want to see anti River content, please keep scrolling. I understand that since Doctor Who is a work of fiction, fans have the right to differing interpretations and to invoking literary license. However, I do want fans who are like me and icked out by River to feel validated. What follows is a pretty unreserved criticism of the character and her relationship with the Doctor.

First, I’m going to break down River from a psychological perspective. Note that I am not a licensed psychologist, but I did graduate with a degree in general psychology. I’m also going to explain some of the many instances that she proves herself to be an incredibly toxic person.

River Song was raised to be a psychopath. That’s an indisputable fact mentioned clearly in the show. Psychopathy is known in the psychology world as Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). ASPD can be managed, but it has no cure. Could it be argued that River sees an off screen therapist? Sure. However, ask yourself if you can see River Song going to therapy?

Not only that, but River has no ordinary case of ASPD. She wasn’t just raised in an abusive or unsafe household, she was cut off from society during her critical formational years. Most cases of ASPD involve people who grew up in challenging households, but they did have interaction with society at large. I don’t know of any case studies surrounding people with ASPD who were cut off from society in their formational years, but doing some research on “feral children” will allow you to read examples of what happens to children raised away from society.

The case I know the most about is that of Oxana Malaya. You can google her for more. She was quite literally raised by dogs. And she required intense inpatient treatment to unlearn her dog like mannerisms. Even then, she always had a level of intellectual impairment.

Because River was specifically raised to have ASPD, she learned language abilities and was socialized on how to BEHAVE like a person capable of love and empathy and friendship, but she never was capable of these things. She was raised to put on an act to be able to get to the doctor and kill him. She was never capable of anything more.

Even if River saw an off screen therapist, she was never institutionalized, as would’ve been required for her to truly function as a healthy person in any possible way. She couldn’t have just shrugged off her programming. Why did she save the Doctor and give up her regenerations? It couldn’t have been guilt or remorse, but she could’ve developed co morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a common disorder to co occur with ASPD. The narcissism would’ve created within her a need for supply. Supply meaning, a boost to the narcissists ego. Narcissists are not capable of genuine empathy and love, but they are capable of seeking supply in the form of impacting other people’s emotions. And what better source of supply for one’s ego than the last known member of one of the most powerful races known to the universe?

When River decided to undo her murder and save the Doctor, it starts off with a completely nonconsensual kiss. This is a pretty fitting start to a relationship that progresses into a forced marriage.

River then continues to force unwanted innuendos on the Doctor. Probably implying they were intimate just to make the Doctor feel obligated to be intimate with her eventually. This is despite Matt Smith confirming in an interview that his Doctor is asexual. He could be demi or grey sexual, I’ll admit that possibility, but River insists on forcing her hyper sexuality on him at any and all stages in his timeline knowing they wouldn’t be welcome. I should note that hyper sexuality can be a symptom of ASPD. It’s not cute or fun. If River was simply a sexually liberated character, she would not be forcing her innuendos on someone who does not want them. Especially not in the earlier parts of his timeline.

River flounces around feeling and acting entitled to the Doctor’s attention if and when she wants it. When she wants it, he’s expected to come running. Then she disappears when she wants to. Creating a masterfully manipulative cycle of hot and cold emotional abuse. When he loses Amy and Rory, she refuses to travel with him. Leaving him emotionally vulnerable and at her beck and call when and if she feels like using him.

Audio dramas are too numerous to declare as universal canon. I think most fans pick and choose which parts of the extended universe count as canon to them. But in the Dalek Universe series, River appears for one episode where she physically abuses the Doctor. She hits him so hard that he is crying out in pain. And then she gaslights him by telling him it was just a little tap. Now, it’s perfectly valid not to count this moment as canon. But it’s extremely consistent with River’s character and I am personally going to use it against her. Especially since I did see another post somewhere bring up the fact that she did the same thing to the fifth Doctor in another audio.

Finally, the worst part of River’s abuse is the forced marriage. The first time the Doctor meets her, she convinces him that he eventually marries her. But he clearly can’t stand her. He doesn’t want anything to do with her. But now he feels as though he’s obligated to marry her. At first he hopes it’s something that can be changed. Saying that time can be rewritten when Amy asks if he marries River. Right up until the forced wedding he tells River he doesn’t want to marry her. But because she convinced him he does marry her in the library, and because nothing else is convincing River to save the universe, he gives in and gives her what she wants. Assuming it’s the only way to keep the universe from falling apart.

Now, I do understand that anyone who loved the Doctor would not want to bring back a timeline where he died. But River was already willing to start considering it just because he agreed to marry her. Because she got what she wanted and because she got the satisfaction of seeing her manipulations succeed. The Doctor couldn’t even get close enough to her to tell her his plan at first, but she was willing to let him come close to her just because he married her. River valued marriage to the Doctor more than the Doctor’s life.

I know it’s commonly believed among River fans that he only kept his distance because he saw her die. But Remember he couldn’t stand her long before that. He never liked her until he thought he was supposed to. No doubt seeing her die cemented his desire to keep a distance from her. But the point is he did keep a distance from her. He never got close to her and he never wanted to. But River always refused to respect this. She saved him so he could belong to her. So he could be her property.

No doubt the Doctor did develop a level of care and responsibility for her. Because he was a person capable of empathy and remorse. And any target of this kind of emotional abuse will develop some sort of attachment. But he was never in love with her. River herself knew this, but she had to convince herself he never loved anyone. But he did. We know for a fact he was in love with Rose. We know he loved friends like Donna platonically. But he didn’t love River. Nor should he have.

Update: I thought I’d also share the official diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’m not qualified to diagnose real people since I only have a bachelor’s degree in psychology. But fictional characters, I will. It’s established canon River has Anti social personality disorder (the official term for psychopathy and sociopathy) so I won’t bother trying to prove my point there. But I do believe she is a narcissist as well.

In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR), [1] NPD is defined as comprising a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by the presence of at least 5 of the following 9 criteria:

A grandiose sense of self-importance: River has this in spades.

A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love: The Doctor is definitely her ideal love fantasy

A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions I would say this is another yes

A need for excessive admiration Definitely

A sense of entitlement 1000% she constantly feels entitled to the Doctor dropping everything for her.

Interpersonally exploitive behavior absolutely

A lack of empathy very much so

Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her not sure about this one. I don’t recall any instances of this.

A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes any time she’s on screen this is a yes

I might make a separate post on narcissism specifically. And I might give more specific examples at that point. But fellow River loathers, this is pretty solid evidence that she’s a narcissist and a psychopath. Diagnostic criteria only stipulates that 5 of these traits be met. River definitely meets 8 of them. I should note that most psychologists and psychiatrists like to see that these traits apply to more than one aspect of a person’s life for a diagnostic. And with River it’s hard to establish that since her character almost completely revolves around the Doctor. BUT if just one person really wants solid evidence against her, let me know. I might be willing to put myself through an audio story or something that features her away from the Doctor.

If you are someone who doesn’t like applying real psychological concepts to fictional characters, I can respect that. However, it should be clear that by now that River’s patterns of abuse are obvious. Whether you wish for apply real life disorders to her not, her treatment of the Doctor and her abuse is still unacceptable. She is highly toxic towards him.

I would also like to add that it’s not just me who uses psychological concepts and applies them to fiction. There’s a whole book series where real psychologists apply psychology to fictional worlds, including Doctor Who. Cinema Therapy is a YouTube channel that does this. I was taught to think in this way by my high school English teacher as well.

[colouredbyd]

Hey Dalia, just being honest — your marauders characterisation feels off. the boys come across way too soft and emotionally perfect, like they’re always coddling each other, especially in poly fics. canon james wouldn’t act like that with sirius — they were loud, chaotic, constantly teasing and pushing each other’s buttons. their dynamic had bite, not just fluff. softness is fine, but when there’s no messiness or edge, it stops feeling like them. it reads more like an idealized version and more OC than what they were..

i really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts, and i want to respond thoughtfully and honestly in return. that being said, i have to admit your message threw me off a bit, and if i’m being completely transparent, it did upset me — not because criticism isn’t welcome, but because it touches on something fundamental that i think is often misunderstood about the marauders fandom as a whole.

let’s be clear: the entire marauders fandom is, by nature, fanon.

we were given a few scattered lines about these characters in the harry potter books — vague glimpses, anecdotal moments, biased memories told from the perspective of secondary characters who often didn’t know them intimately. there is no canon dialogue between james and regulus. there is no true depth to canon-era barty. even james and sirius, arguably the best-developed marauders, are still incredibly limited in how much we actually know about their real personalities, their inner worlds, their emotional depths.

so when people say “james wouldn’t act that way,” or “that version of sirius is too soft,” i have to pause.

based on what, exactly? a handful of chapters from a series that was never truly about them? a few biased memories viewed through harry’s grief-stricken lens?

everything we celebrate in the marauders fandom — whether it’s wolfstar, jegulus, poly!marauders, or any aus — is built on interpretation, on love, and yes, on imagination. and that’s not just acceptable, it’s the very spirit of transformative fandom.

as for softness, emotional intimacy, or affection between characters — that’s not a sign of poor characterization or lack of realism. it’s simply a different lens.

my interpretation of these boys leans into the emotional aftermath of war, of growing up too fast, of grief and loss and chosen family. that doesn’t mean i ignore the teasing or chaos or bite — in fact, a lot of my works incorporate it — but i also choose to explore the tenderness that canon never gave them space for. because honestly? they deserved that space, and so do readers who see themselves in that tenderness.

calling it “oc” because it deviates from your version of canon is, frankly, a misunderstanding of what fic is.

there is no singular “correct” marauders dynamic. there are thousands of versions of them across this fandom — messy, soft, angry, wild, reckless, healed, healing — all equally valid. some people want angst, others want fluff, others want realism, and some want escapism. all of it is beautiful, all of it belongs.

so no, i don’t believe there is one “true” james potter or sirius black. the james in my stories may be gentler in some moments, just as others write him more arrogant or wild. both are valid. both are fiction.

i completely understand that my style or my dynamics may not be for everyone — and that’s totally okay. you’re not required to enjoy every portrayal. but implying that emotional vulnerability makes a character “less canon” or less real is a narrow reading of both fanfic and character development. sometimes softness is survival. sometimes healing is loud laughter and quiet hands.

at the end of the day, we’re all just here to love these characters the best way we know how. i write the stories i needed growing up. i write the versions of these boys who carry their trauma, but still learn to love, and i’m proud of that.

wishing you well and all the best on your own fic journey,

[bumbled-bees]

I feel conflicted, I see everyone talking about how awful CD is but the times I've interacted with her before she switched names she seemed sweet.

You’re not alone in that.

A lot of people, even now, are still working through that dissonance: how can someone who once seemed kind, understanding, or even supportive be the same person who’s now the subject of so much criticism and hurt?

The truth is, that confusion is part of how Lily (CD) draws people in. It’s not just that she can seem sweet: sometimes, she genuinely is. Especially early on. Especially if you’re new, vulnerable, or trying to find your footing in her community. She knows how to be welcoming. She knows how to mirror your values and speak your language. She’s clever, and emotionally perceptive enough to know what people want to hear when they first show up. And when she’s not actively on the defensive or in a foul mood, she can come across as thoughtful or insightful, because that’s part of the persona that originally made people gravitate to her.

But the important thing to realize is that those early positive moments don’t cancel out the pattern of harm she’s caused over time. A manipulative or harmful person doesn’t have to be cruel all the time to still be damaging. In fact, inconsistency is one of the strongest psychological hooks. It keeps people off-balance. You start to wonder, “Did I do something wrong? Am I just imagining the bad stuff?” You cling to the good memories because they feel more real, more comforting, and it’s painful to reconcile them with what comes later.

Lily also benefits from being particularly good at making you feel like one of the “smart ones,” the “good ones,” the people who get her. That sense of exclusivity, of being on the inside of something others “don’t understand”, can be incredibly validating, especially if you’ve ever felt unheard or dismissed in other spaces. It makes it even harder to believe you could be misreading things or that she’s acting in bad faith. But eventually, the mask slips. Maybe she snaps at you. Maybe you watch her do it to someone else. Maybe you notice how your discomfort keeps getting minimized, and how hard it is to express criticism without backlash.

It’s okay to have been drawn in. It’s okay to have believed the best in someone. That doesn’t make you naive or complicit. It makes you human. Lily’s behavior is calculated to pull people in and then gradually reshape how they interpret her actions, and that’s why so many people feel this exact conflict when they start to see her more clearly.

What matters isn’t whether you once saw her as sweet. What matters is what you do with the fuller picture now, and how you choose to support others who’ve been through the same thing. It’s not your fault for getting pulled in. But it is a sign of strength and empathy to step back and question.

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[fuji09]

Ok so I've seen a lot of different povs on last week's episode of 9-1-1. My thoughts are that grief manifests in many different ways and 9-1-1 did a really good job of showing that.

Chimney's grief manifests as DENIAL. He won't talk to anyone. He stays out of his own home to be alone and avoid the issue. He goes running so he doesn't have to think. He refuses to even think about Bobby because when he does he feels so guilty. Survivors guilt cranked up a few notches due to the situation.

Buck's grief manifests as CARETAKING. He takes on the role of caretaker to everyone else because Bobby was the caretaker. He steps up to help everyone else around him, ignoring his own needs in the process. He tries to understand where everyone else is at in their grief so he can help them through it in the best way he can.

Eddie's grief manifests as ANGER. He feels guilty for not being there. He takes his anger out on anyone who tries to comfort him because he feels he doesn't deserve it because he wasn't there. He yells at Buck and gets in his face because he's trying to keep in his feelings but that leads to him finally blowing up.

Hen's grief manifests as NUMBNESS. She feels detached and she kinda just goes with the flow. Existing but not living. She goes back to work a few weeks early since everyone else is going back that same day. She's offered Bobby's position and turns it down even though everyone else feels she should take the promotion. She puts on a brave face for everyone else.

Athena's grief manifests as DENIAL. She can't believe that the man she loves is gone. She feels him everywhere she goes. She doesn't try to get the body back because once that happens, then the funeral can be done. She drags her feet on making funeral arrangements and picking where to lay Bobby's body to rest. Every place she checks out is never the right place. She ignores her kids because they are trying to help her get everything done.

Maddie's grief manifests as LONELINESS. She isn't "one of them" but also she is one of them. She was the 911 dispatcher that helped them and even though she wasn't physically there, she was still there the whole time. She's pregnant, her husband is avoiding her and her brother is busy taking care of everyone else and Maddie is just alone in it. She longs for comfort from her friends and family but she can't get it.

Ravi's grief manifests as ANXIETY. He feels guilty for almost quitting. He feels partly responsible for what happened because he refused to leave because they thought someone else (the person who caused this entire mess) was still in there and he refused to leave that person behind. They get trapped inside because he didn't leave when Bobby first told everyone to head back. He's worried it's all his fault and that everyone else will blame him. He still doesn't feel like he's officially one of them and he wanted to quit. He stayed and now Bobby is dead.

Everything they are all feeling is valid. But every reaction isn't ok. Eddie yelling at Buck and taking his anger out on him? Not ok. Chimney refusing to talk to anyone? Not ok. Buck ignoring his own needs to take care of everyone else? Not ok. Athena refusing to do what's needed? Not ok. These reactions are harmful to either themselves or the others around them.

But these reactions are also understandable. Humans aren't perfect. That doesn't make the reaction ok, but I get it. Apologies to some are needed but in the end hopefully everyone will learn from their mistakes. And because no one is perfect, some might not learn from it. Life is messy and sometimes ugly.

Obviously this is my interpretation on how they are feeling. I am not excusing any bad behavior, just explaining it. Some may see it differently and y'all are welcome to give your pov as well.