#passing notes gc

[satangcrush]

passed out

@lonely-north-star is mfering crazy 😭😭😭

[lonely-north-star]

@satangcrush @kelotalks

[mercvry-glow]

a girls guide to shopping

parings. michael robinavitch x bratty!reader

summary. a shopping trip goes sideways after a teenager clocks your shit at a panty sale. thankfully your hot doctor boyfriend knows what's best.

warnings. age gap (robby early 50s, reader late 20s early 30s), reader gets punched, and passes out, hospital setting, robby is a little stressed and sassy but so is reader, pretty light overall, let me know if there's anything else!

notes. I love them your honor! sorry for not posting for a few days while i figured out these stories/dynamics. always feel free to request dynamics like these, I love them more than anything else! as always any and all feedback is appreciated!

wc. 1900+

Coming into the ER while you were supposed to be shopping was a total fucking downer. Once, the mall had been a magical place—a glittery,  pretzel scented wonderland where you could lose hours drifting between candle shops and designer racks, sipping iced lattes and swatching lip gloss on the back of your hand like a civilized woman.

Now? Now it was the place where you got decked in the face by some teenage gremlin in low-rise jeans over a pair of lace panties.

And because you were a grown adult, you couldn’t even swing back.

Tragic.

You didn't even remember hitting the floor. Just the sharp, burning pop in your nose, the stars behind your eyes, and then—darkness. The paramedics told you you were out cold for maybe ninety seconds, but it was long enough to wake up under fluorescent lights, head pounding and crop top slightly askew.

“We got a female, LOC for approx one minute,” one of the EMTs was saying now as they wheeled your stretcher through the ER. “Vitals stable, GCS fifteen, alert and oriented, just... uh... kinda pissed.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” you muttered, clutching the melting bag of ice someone had tossed at your face like it could fix your whole life.

“Can you tell us your name again?” asked the other paramedic—young, blonde, and way too chipper for your taste.

“Yeah. It’s ‘I want a lawyer.’”

He snorted. “Okay, feisty’s good. You remember what happened?”

“I got my shit rocked by a seventeen-year-old with acrylics and rage issues over a five-dollar thong. And I swear to God, if I have to get my nose redone, someone’s getting sued. Possibly everyone!”

The paramedic just chuckled again and turned to the nurse approaching the stretcher. “We got a real diva on our hands.”

“Do not diminish me,” you snapped, even as you adjusted your messy bun and adjusted your once cute, now bloodied, jacket. “I am a victim of retail violence.”

The nurse—a tan-skinned, shorter woman with dark hair, and a clearly unbothered attitude—just gave you a once-over. “Put her in Bay 3. Maybe Dr. Robby can talk her down.”

You blinked. “Wait. Did you just say Robby?”

The paramedic raised an eyebrow. “You know him?”

Oh, you knew him.

You dated him.

Michael Robinovitch: broody, brilliant, perpetually annoyed trauma doc. Your boyfriend. Also, the last person on earth you wanted to see you laid out in a hospital bed with smeared lip gloss and a possible concussion.

You shot upright slightly—then immediately winced and laid back down.

“Please don’t tell him it’s me,” you whispered like it was a state secret. “Lie. Say I died. Switch my name with someone else’s. Say I’m contagious.”

The nurse smirked. “Yeah, he’s gonna love this.”

That was the moment you knew you were screwed.

The curtains around North-3 weren't soundproof, but you were trying to pretend they werer. You laid there with an ice pack balanced across your nose and a mild headache blooming behind your eyes. The ER smelled like bleach and overworked nurses, and you were pretty sure one of your press-on nails had popped off in the ambulance.

The nurse—Princess, according to her badge—was updating something on the computer, tapping the keys like she’d done this a thousand times. She had a chill vibe, low braid, cute scrubs. Honestly, you respected her.

“So, just to confirm,” she said without looking up, “you fainted in Victoria’s Secret?”

You sighed. “Technically, I passed out next to a panty display. Slightly more dignified.”

Princess grinned. “Right.”

“I had a head injury,” you added defensively. “And that girl came flying at me like I personally wronged her.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get trampled.”

“Thank you for your concern,” you said, deadpan. “I didn’t get to buy my stuff either.”

Princess chuckled. “I’ll put that in your chart.”

You slumped back onto the gurney, closing your eyes. This was officially the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to you. Which was saying something, considering you once accidentally sexted your building manager.

The sound of hurried footsteps pulled your attention to the hallway.

“Where is she?” came a familiar voice. Calm, but rushed. Less annoyed than… worried.

Your stomach dipped.

Princess didn’t even glance over. “There it is.”

You opened your eyes, sitting up slowly. “He’s here?”

“Yup.”

“Do you know if he’s like—mad?”

Princess finally looked up at you. “He looked… like he needed to know you were okay.”

You bit your lip. “Ugh. That’s worse.”

The curtain pulled open gently—no dramatic whip, no scolding.

There he was.

Dr. Michael Robby Robinovitch. Brown hair slightly messy, like he’d run his hands through it on the way down, stethoscope hanging around his neck, scrubs just a little rumpled. His eyes landed on you immediately, softening the second he saw your face.

“You fainted over a pair of underwear?”

Your smile dropped. “Excuse me, I was attacked over a pair of underwear.”

A flicker of amusement crossed his face, but he didn’t laugh. He stepped inside quietly, pulling the curtain mostly shut behind him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice low.

“I mean, my face hurts and my dignity’s practically, but otherwise? Sure.”

He moved closer, reaching out carefully to lift the ice pack away. “Let me see.”

You let him, even though the swelling around your nose made you feel anything but cute. He studied you for a second, then met your eyes.

“Doesn’t look broken. We’ll scan just to be safe.”

You tried to joke. “If I need a nose job, I’m getting a cute one.”

His mouth twitched. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand gently on your knee.

“I got paged when they brought you in,” he said quietly. “Didn’t know it was you until I heard the report and someone described you as all ‘crop top’ and ‘attitude.’”

You laughed, even though your head throbbed a little when you did. “Hell yeah.”

“I was worried,” he admitted, thumb brushing lightly over your knee. “You don’t just faint. That’s not you.”

“I didn’t mean to be dramatic,” you said softly. “I just… kind of blinked and hit the floor.”

“You don’t have to explain. You’re here. That’s what matters.”

You exhaled, letting yourself relax for the first time since the mall.

He looked at you again, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Can’t leave you alone for five minutes, can I?”

You smirked. “You really can’t, look what I get up too.” 

Robby didn’t move right away. His hand rested on your knee, thumb tracing quiet, reassuring circles through the thin hospital blanket. You shifted slightly, trying not to wince at the dull ache spreading from the bridge of your nose up into your forehead.

“Do I look terrible?” you asked, your voice lower now.

He glanced up from your chart, his soft brown eyes sweeping across your face—not with judgment, but with quiet focus. “You look like someone who took a hit and handled it.”

“So... still cute?” you teased lightly.

Michael’s lips curved, just barely. “Always.”

You smiled, then sighed. “This might be the most embarrassing day of my life.”

“Worse than the time you locked yourself out of the house in your underwear?”

“Low blow Mikey, low blow… and that was different. That was private shame. This is public, in my baby tee, with paramedics and nosy mall goers.”

He hummed softly, stepping back just as Princess peeked back in through the curtain, a clipboard in hand.

“Radiology’s ready,” she said with a kind smile. “You want a wheelchair or are you feeling steady?”

You started to sit up. “I’m fine. I can walk.”

Michael gave you a look—calm but pointed. “Let me help you.”

“I can do it.”

“I know,” he said, already offering a hand. “But let me anyway.”

You hesitated, then reached for him. His hand was warm and steady, and the way he hovered—not overbearing, just present—made you feel safe, even if your pride was still limping along behind you.

The walk down the hallway was quiet. The CT tech moved efficiently, guiding you through the scan with minimal small talk, and before you knew it, you were back in your bay, settling onto the stretcher again with a little more care than before.

Robby was waiting, flipping through a printout from radiology.

“Well?” you asked.

He glanced at you. “No fracture. No concussion. You’re just bruised, a little rattled too, but otherwise okay.”

You exhaled. “Good.”

He softened as he looked at you again, that quiet relief flickering behind his usual calm. “You scared me.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.”

Yet another nurse returned just then, handing over a water bottle and a stack of discharge instructions. “You’re free to go. Ice for the swelling, rest tonight, and take it easy for a couple days.”

Michael took the papers from your hands before you could even skim them. “I’ll go over these with her.”

You gave him a look but didn’t argue. It was kind of nice, having him take over. Quietly protective. Familiar.

They gave you a small smile. “Try to stay out of trouble, okay?”

You nodded. “No more shopping trips. Lesson learned.”

Michael helped you off the bed with a gentleness that didn’t surprise you. As you reached for your bag, you felt his hand at the small of your back, guiding you without a word toward the exit.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, glancing up at him as the first doors opened.

He looked down at you, a soft smile tugging at his mouth. “Always.”

As the next set automatic doors hissed, the cool mid-day air brushed against your skin. The hospital parking lot glowed in the flickering daylight, and for the first time all day, things felt quiet. Still.

Michael walked beside you, not rushing, just staying close. You didn’t say much—didn’t really need to.

At your rideshare pickup spot, since you clearly hadn’t taken your car here. You stopped and turned toward him. He still had the discharge paperwork tucked under one arm, the other hand resting casually on the small of your back.

“You sure you’re okay to go?” he asked, voice low.

You nodded. “Yeah. A little sore. A lot tired. But I’ll be fine, hopefully.”

His eyes searched yours for a moment, not quite convinced.

“You passed out,” he said gently. “That’s not nothing.”

“I know.”

“If anything feels off tonight—headache that gets worse, nausea, anything weird—call me.”

You nodded again, a little slower this time. “I will.”

He studied you for another beat, then stepped forward, brushing a stray piece of hair from your cheek. His hand lingered there, warm against your skin.

“I mean it,” he said. “Even if it’s just a gut feeling. Call me.”

You smiled softly. “Okay.”

Then, without any rush, he leaned in and kissed you—just a quick, careful kiss to your forehead, right above the bruise forming at your hairline. Tender and light. Like punctuation at the end of a sentence that didn’t need words.

“Rest,” he murmured. “I’ll check in later.”

You watched him for a second before stepping back toward the car that had just pulled up.

And even though your face still ached and your head felt like cotton, you suddenly felt a little better than you had all day.

mercvry-glow 2025

[internetdaddy98]

The Opening Gambit

Previous | Next [Series Masterlist]

Pairing: Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x F!SeniorResident!Reader Summary: From the first subtle brush of your shoulder to the featherlight graze of your thumb, you don’t flirt, you control, cool and calculated. Every touch, every murmur, every glance is measured and deliberate. You work seamlessly beside him, professional and sharp, but just close enough to fray his composure.

Word Count: 1 K Content Warning: Medical procedures, blood, will most likely be medically inaccurate at times

The shift started like any other: chaos thinly veiled by protocol. A multi-car pileup on I-279 had half the ER running on caffeine and adrenaline before noon. Trauma teams rotated like gears, syncing movement with muscle memory.

But you weren’t here just to keep up.

You were here to test gravity.

And Robby? He didn’t know it yet, but he was already falling.

You saw him the moment you walked in. Standing at the board, stylus pen between his fingers, brown locks glinting at his temples under the harsh light. His scrub top was wrinkled, his jaw shadowed with a salt and pepper beard, and you had never seen anything more devastating in your life.

“Morning, Dr. Robby,” you said, soft and rhythmical as you passed him, your shoulder brushing his ever so slightly.

You weren’t just being polite.

You were starting something.

He didn’t look at you right away, but his hand paused. You saw the twitch of a muscle in his cheek. Heard the shift of his weight.

“Morning, Sheri,” he replied, low and even. But his voice had a rasp in it that hadn’t been there yesterday.

The trauma pager went off before either could say another word.

Room Four. Level One. Blunt trauma. Male. GCS 8. ETA three minutes.

They moved like a unit, you at his side, anticipating his decisions before he made them. In the resus bay, the air was dense with urgency, but your focus never wavered. Not on the patient. And not on him.

“Needle decompression,” you said confidently, your gloves snapping on. “Right side. You want to confirm, or do you trust me?”

You didn’t say it flirtatiously. That was the genius of it. You said it with that steady, cool voice you knew he liked, that made him respect you.

And you meant it. But still, your eyes flicked up to meet his as you said it. And you held them there.

He paused for half a second too long.

“I trust you,” he said finally and you nodded with a smile.

You worked like clockwork and when it was over and the patient stabilized, you stayed behind to clean up, letting the others filter out.

He lingered near the supply cabinet, reorganizing gauze.

You slipped beside him, close enough he could smell your skin, lavender and antiseptic.

“I like it when you let me take the lead,” you murmured, quiet enough that it was for him and only him. “It suits you.”

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak.

But you saw the way his fingers curled around the shelf. Saw the tight line of his jaw. The heat in his eyes when he finally turned to face you.

“That wasn’t the time to flirt,” he said gruffly.

“Oh,” you said, lips quirking, “was I flirting?”

And you left him there, too stunned to answer.

You moved through the ER with controlled grace, your expression calm but unreadable. Except he could read you. He’d known you long enough now to sense when you were holding something back. When you were leaning in instead of away.

You didn’t linger when you handed him chart updates. But your fingers always brushed his, and once, only once, your thumb skimmed his knuckle, deliberate and featherlight.

Long that he’d felt it for hours.

Later, you stood beside him as he dictated notes at the computer. You leaned in slightly, not touching, but close. He could smell the soft, clean hint of your shampoo, lavender and something warmer beneath it.

“Good phrasing,” you murmured under your breath when he dictated a particularly precise differential. The words were harmless. But your tone wasn’t.

You said it like a secret. Like a confession meant for him alone. His fingers hesitated on the keys. A flicker of heat curled low in his abdomen.

He didn’t turn. Didn’t look at you. Couldn’t.

Another trauma came in, motorcycle, late thirties, open femur fracture with significant blood loss. The room was loud, packed with motion, but Robby still felt your presence behind him as you prepped the surgical tray.

“IV established,” you said, then added softly, “I’ve got you covered.”

It should’ve been nothing. A reassurance. A common phrase.

But your voice lowered just enough that the words twisted into something else entirely, subtly charged. Personal.

He didn’t look at you then either. He couldn’t afford to. Not with blood on the floor and adrenaline humming through his veins.

But later, when the room emptied and he was washing his hands at the sink, he realized he was gripping the faucet too hard. Water too hot. Skin flushed.

And not just from the trauma.

The rest of the shift passed in a haze of carefully orchestrated tension.

You stood a little closer than necessary when reviewing imaging with him. Let your hand brush his forearm as you reached past for a chart. Tilted your head and gave that slight smile when he caught you watching him.

“You okay?” Mel asked once, nudging you while you reviewed a pelvic fracture.

“Yeah,” you said, eyes flicking toward Robby down the hall. “Just...trying something.”

Santos caught your look and grinned knowingly. “Poor man never stood a chance.”

You stood behind him again as you both reviewed a CT scan on the monitor. This time, your hand ghosted over the small of his back, not quite a touch. Just… there.

His breath caught. Brief, sharp. He said nothing.

But every nerve in his body lit like a flare.

At 7:02 p.m., as the shift wound down, Robby cornered you by the lockers. The hallway was empty, residents already changing, nurses clocking out. He stood close. Too close for it to be professional.

“You’ve been testing me all day,” he said, voice low and tight. “Why?”

You looked up at him, all wide eyes and innocent calm. “Testing you? I thought I was just doing my job.”

“Don’t play coy.”

“Who’s playing?”

He stepped closer. The tension coiled so tight between them it could’ve shattered.

But you only smiled. Tugged your pink hoodie from the locker. Brushed past him, one last slow, deliberate drag of your fingers across his hand.

And with a whisper in his ear, said, “But if I was playing, I think I’m winning.”

Then you left.

And Robby stood alone, fists clenched, heart racing, one breath away from forgetting every line he ever swore not to cross.

[satangcrush]

so funny

Most blessed type of fandom experience tbh

[skzophreniic]

⍣ ೋ cw: explicit sexual content. dirty talk. fingering. unprotected sex. felix is a bit of a perv.

⍣ ೋ notes: hihi. for the internal service report, i decided that i've gotten a bit bored with the gc messages and instead wrote a little script that was inspired by the office lol. let me know if u guys like it or if i should just stick to the fake messages.

INTERNAL INVESTIGATION REPORT Filed by: Concierge Aeryn Subject: Staff Conduct – Inappropriate Guest Interaction (Alleged Misconduct During Welcome Assistance) Staff Member Under Review: Bellboy Felix Requested by: Guest (Room 1706) Requested Resolution: Formal Investigation & Internal Service Memo

The concierge’s pink clipboard is held tight to her chest as she rounds the corner and spots him—leaning against the wall just outside the staff lounge, uniform pristine, lanyard badge clipped off-center like he’s too laid-back to care. Felix.

He’s mid-laugh, dimples in full effect, teasing one of the housekeepers with some story you just know has been exaggerated beyond belief. He spots Aeryn immediately—her expression unreadable—and straightens with a boyish grin.

“Concierge~,” he drawls, bright as ever. “You look gorgeous today.”

“Felix.” Her tone is clipped, heels clicking to a stop in front of him. “We need to talk.”

He clasps his hands behind his back. “Is this about the towel thing? I swear he said room six-oh-four, not four-oh-six—”

“It’s Suite 1706,” she interrupts, flipping to a fresh page on her clipboard. “You brought their bag up earlier this afternoon.”

“Oh! Right,” he chirps, as if recalling a charming anecdote. “Pretty guest. Killer heels. Looked like they needed a little help.” He flashes a grin. “I was being nice.”

“Nice,” Aeryn repeats, deadpan. “You placed your arm around their waist. Fingers were… described as ‘kneading.’”

Felix doesn’t blink. “They stumbled.”

“You carried a single weekend bag.”

“They looked tired!” he insists, eyes wide, dimples deepening. “I was just making sure they got to their room safely. You know me—I’m all about guest satisfaction.”

Aeryn narrows her eyes. “That’s precisely what concerns me.”

Felix tilts his head, still smiling like he doesn’t have a single indecent thought in that pretty head of his.

“I’m being punished for being helpful?” he says with a pout that’s almost convincing. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

Aeryn doesn’t indulge him. “You’re being investigated because your version of helpful tends to involve unsolicited physical contact and a smile that reads less ‘customer service’ and more ‘lingerie catalog.’”

Felix gasps—dramatically, hand to chest. “You wound me.”

“You’ll survive,” Aeryn mutters, flipping another page with purpose. “In the meantime, I think it’s only right you go speak with the guest. Clarify the situation.”

His brows rise. “Clarify?”

“Tell her she must’ve misread your intentions,” Aeryn says, tone clipped. “Because you’re just an innocent employee making sure everyone checks in safely.”

Felix leans in slightly. “Innocent?”

“You’ll act like it.”

A beat passes. Then his smile slowly returns—less sunshine, more sin. “For accuracy purposes,” he murmurs, already stepping past her.

Aeryn watches him go, muttering under her breath. “We’re all going to HR.”

______________________________________________________________

The knock comes gentle, almost shy. You open the door halfway, and there he is again.

Felix, known to you by the name tag, in full uniform and faux professionalism, hands clasped behind his back, that same crooked badge still dangling off his lanyard like it’s got personality of its own. His smile is polite. Bright. Almost bashful.

Almost.

“Hi there,” he says, rocking slightly on his heels. “Sorry to bother you. Concierge Aeryn just asked me to, um, follow up on the earlier incident?”

You arch a brow. “The incident where you practically groped me under the guise of carrying a ten-pound duffel bag?”

He winces—adorably. Like a kid caught sneaking cookies. “Right, see, that’s the thing. There may have been… a misunderstanding.”

“Oh, there was no misunderstanding.”

“You sure about that?” His voice is light, teasing. “Memory can be a tricky thing.”

“I know what happened.”

“I’m just here to clarify for the report,” he says, eyes gleaming with something not even remotely professional. “Concierge’s orders. Not mine.”

You lean against the doorframe. “So what—this is damage control?”

“It’s about accuracy,” he replies smoothly. “We pride ourselves on it at the Skzotel.”

You narrow your eyes. “So now you’re going to pretend none of it happened?”

Felix tilts his head, all exaggerated innocence. “I helped you to your room. I didn’t do anything inappropriate.”

“Your hand was on my ass.”

“It was near your ass,” he counters. “And only because you were about to fall. You looked like a baby deer on a frozen pond. I was concerned.”

“Oh, you were concerned.”

“For your safety,” he says sweetly.

You stare him down. He stares right back, biting back a smirk.

“…You’re unbelievable,” you mutter.

“Mmhmm.” His eyes flick down to your waist. “Do you want me to demonstrate?”

“Demonstrate,” you repeat, flat.

“For accuracy,” he says, like it’s the most reasonable thing in the world. “For the report.”

You exhale sharply, still not moving.

He does.

With slow, deliberate hands, Felix steps forward, edging just inside the doorway—movements smooth, rehearsed, almost predatory if not for the disarming smile still glued to his face.

“Imagine,” he murmurs, stepping behind you, “you’ve just gotten off the elevator. Your bag’s in your left hand. You’re wobbling in your heels. So I say—‘Let me get that for you, sweetheart.’”

His hands trail down your arms, featherlight.

“Then what?” you ask, breath just a little shallower now.

“Then,” he says, voice thicker, closer, “I guide you to the door…”

His palm finds your waist. Lingers. Fingers tighten—just enough.

“...Like this.”

“Seems excessive.”

“You’re still a little unsteady.” His thumb presses in, a slow circle against your hip. “I make sure you don’t fall.”

“By grabbing my hip?”

“I wasn’t just grabbing,” he whispers, and the grin is practically audible now, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “I was making sure you were grounded.”

His hands wander. Lazily. Down your sides, thumbs slipping just under the waistband of your skirt.

“Do you need this for the report?” he asks, voice syrupy sweet.

You don’t answer.

“I can show you what my grip felt like,” he offers. “Right here.” He palms your ass, firm now—greedy, like the mask is slipping. “And maybe… how you started breathing when I leaned in close and told you you looked beautiful all flushed.”

“Felix,” you warn, but it’s weak.

He’s already pressing against you—hard through his slacks, smug through his smirk.

“You were flushed, weren’t you?” he hums. “Little whimpers. Like you didn’t want help but really, really did.”

“You’re skating on very thin—”

“Should I show you how I helped you into the room, too?” His voice is velvet, dangerous. “How my hand slipped under your skirt when you leaned against the wall? How I pressed the bag to your chest so you wouldn’t drop it, but really… so you wouldn’t cover your mouth when you moaned?”

Your breath catches. Just once.

He hears it.

He turns you gently to face the wall.

“Hands here,” he says, guiding your palms to the wood paneling. “For the sake of realism.”

“Realism,” you echo, palms flat against the cool wood, your voice unsteady despite how hard you're trying to bite it back. “Is that what this is now?”

Felix hums behind you, all sin in a smile. “Mmhmm. Gotta give the concierge a thorough account. For the paperwork.”

You feel the air shift as he leans in again—closer now, his chest brushing your back, warm breath fanning against your neck like temptation dressed in cologne and a crooked nametag.

“She’ll want details,” he murmurs, his lips ghosting just behind your ear. “Like how your skirt rode up right here—”

A sudden grip. His hand slides up the back of your thigh, hiking the hem just enough for his knuckles to skim the softness underneath. “—when you leaned forward to unlock the door.” You inhale sharply, instinctively pressing back, and that’s all the invitation he needs.

His body crowds yours, the hardness in his slacks flush against your ass, hands everywhere now—cradling, kneading, learning every inch of you like he’s been dreaming about it since the elevator ride.

“You let me help,” he says, voice like melted sugar and filth. “Didn’t even pull away. You just gasped—like that—” He presses in, hips rolling slow, savoring your reaction when your breath hitches again. “—and made that sound that’s been stuck in my head all shift.”

“Felix,” you warn, though it comes out like a plea.

“Shhh,” he whispers. “We’re still clarifying.”

You shouldn’t let this happen—you know you shouldn’t. But your thighs are already tightening, and your head’s tilting when he kisses the curve of your neck like it’s second nature. One hand slips to your front, fingers brushing over your waistband again, more confident this time. Teasing. Testing.

“And then,” he breathes, lips dragging lower, “I asked if you were okay…”

“You didn’t,” you pant, barely able to focus.

“I should’ve,” he corrects smoothly. “Would’ve said something like—‘You alright, sweetheart? You need help getting settled?’”

 His hand dips lower—bold now, past the barrier of your underwear.

Your knees nearly buckle. He catches you, arm banding around your waist, holding you up with practiced ease. Like this isn’t the first time he’s done it—like he’s wanted to.

“You were flushed when I said you looked pretty, weren’t you?” he growls softly, rutting against you once more. “Could’ve bent you over that luggage cart and had you begging.”

You let out a strangled sound—half protest, half broken whimper—and that’s when he pulls back just a fraction.

His voice is still low, but teasing now, playful.

“You gonna report me now, sweetheart?” he asks, breath ghosting against your cheek. “Tell the concierge how I touched you here—” his fingers dip again, just enough to make your knees quake—“and here?”

“I should,” you say, barely audible.

“But you won’t.”

“Why not?”

Felix grins against your skin. “Because I’ve got you just like I had you earlier—pressed up against a wall, moaning my name, pretending you didn’t want this the whole damn time.”

Your breath stutters, shame and desire tangling in your throat like barbed wire dressed in silk. You want to argue—want to tell him off, shove him back, regain some semblance of control—but all you can do is lean into his touch like it’s gravity itself, anchoring you to something far more dangerous than the polished floor beneath your heels.

“You’re such a—”

The insult dies in your throat when he dips his fingers again, this time circling—lazily, confidently, like he’s got all the time in the world and already knows exactly how you’re going to come apart for him.

“I’m such a what?” he whispers, lips brushing your jaw now. “A menace? A perv? Or just a really, really thorough bellboy?”

You groan through clenched teeth, head dropping forward against the wall.

“Thought so,” he purrs, pressing a kiss to your nape, open-mouthed and smug. “You’re not reporting anything, baby. You’re co-signing.”

His fingers start to move with purpose, dragging a slow moan from your lips before you can bite it back.

“You like this,” he says, more observation than question. “You liked that I grabbed your waist. That I held on a little too long. That I pressed in close and said you looked good enough to wreck.”

“Felix—fuck—” It’s a warning again, but it’s empty. Powerless. And he knows it.

“Say my name again,” he murmurs, fingers still circling, the wet sounds only making things worse. “Say it like you did when I pulled the bag off your shoulder and let my hand ‘accidentally’ graze your tits.”

Your cheeks burn hotter than your skin already is, slick heat blooming between your thighs. The way he talks, like this whole thing was inevitable. Like it’s a scene he’s played over a hundred times behind those wide, innocent eyes and charming smiles.

You twist your head just enough to look at him. “You planned this.”

He grins like you’ve handed him a tip.

“Thought about it,” he admits. “Ever since check-in. Ever since you looked me up and down like you wanted dessert before dinner.”

“I didn’t—”

“You did,” he cuts in, all teasing gone now, voice deep, dark, sincere. “And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The way you licked your lips. The way you thanked me like you weren’t thinking about pulling me into the room and climbing me like a fucking ladder.”

You gasp when he curls his fingers just right, and he groans into your neck like it’s his body unraveling.

“Let me help you,” he breathes, no longer mocking. “Really help you. Let me make sure you get all the way settled in.”

Your fingers curl against the doorframe, nails scraping the wood as another sharp roll of his wrist sends a jolt through your spine. You're not sure what’s holding you up anymore—Felix, maybe. The door. Sheer need. But every part of you feels like it’s burning, dissolving under the weight of his voice, his touch, the intent in his eyes like gravity.

“You call this help?” you pant, and it’s not defiance so much as desperation—your last thread of composure snapping under his hands.

Felix chuckles low against your neck, the sound warm and wicked. “I call this hospitality,” he says, dragging his lips over your pulse. “Five-star treatment. The kind you don’t forget.”

He shifts behind you, one hand steadying at your hip while the other pulls back for just a moment—enough to make you whimper at the loss. But it’s only so he can hike your skirt higher, exposing the soaked lace clinging to you as his eyes drag down like he’s unwrapping the best part of the welcome package.

“God, look at you,” he breathes, reverent now, but still so goddamn smug.

He pauses, just long enough to kiss the back of your shoulder—soft, almost sweet—before curling his fingers one last time and pulling out, wet and slow, watching the way you tremble against the doorframe like your legs might give at any second.

He tugs you back with a sharp grip to your waist—one step, two—and the moment your heels cross the threshold, Felix kicks the door shut with the back of his foot like it’s a formality. Like he hasn’t already claimed you in every way that counts.

“Take off your heels,” he says, voice wrecked with restraint.

You obey, dizzy with it, shoes hitting the carpet one by one before he turns you around and lifts you—lifts you, like it’s nothing. Like you weigh as much as the breath he just lost seeing your face twisted in want.

Your back hits the door with a thud, and then he’s kissing you—really kissing you—hungry, open-mouthed, tongue sliding against yours like he’s starving for the taste. All that smugness starts to fray around the edges as he grinds against your bare core, the wet drag of your panties all that’s separating you from how hard he is.

“Christ, you’re soaked,” he groans into your mouth. “How the fuck are you this wet already?”

“Maybe I like when pretty boys talk dirty,” you pant, tugging at his shirt, nails scraping the skin beneath.

He laughs—sharp, cocky—but it stutters the second you roll your hips up into him.

“Ohh, fuck, don’t do that—”

You do it again. He groans this time, teeth grazing your jaw as he drops one hand between your bodies, shoves your underwear aside with a snap, and lines himself up with a rough exhale.

“Fuck, fuck—look at me—”

You do, and that’s when he sinks in.

Slow at first, dragging it out like he wants to watch your face twitch with every inch. But the second he bottoms out, all the air leaves his lungs in a ragged, helpless moan.

“Fuck me, you’re tight—”

His forehead drops to your shoulder, the facade crumbling, hips jerking once, twice—then he’s gone. No rhythm, no patience, just raw instinct as he fucks up into you like he’s trying to etch himself into your bones.

“You—holy shit, baby—fuck—you feel so good, I can't—shit, I can’t even think—”

The cocky voice is gone. What’s left is Felix: wrecked, panting, clutching at your thighs like they’re the only things keeping him tethered to the earth.

You moan loud into his neck and he whines, high and real and so desperate it sends a throb straight through you.

“Been thinking about this all shift,” he pants. “About you dripping for me like this, clenching like that—ohhh fuck, don’t do that, you’re gonna make me—fuck, fuck—”

You clench around him again—tight, pulsing, deliberate—and it’s like setting a match to gasoline.

“Shitshitshit—” Felix gasps, a full-body tremor wracking through him as he slams into you hard enough to rattle the door. “You’re doing that on purpose—fuck—you want me to lose it, huh?”

Your grin is wicked, but fleeting—because he’s already fucking the smirk off your face.

Every thrust hits deep, brutal, a little messy now with how soaked you are, the lewd slap of skin on skin echoing in the dim hotel room like something obscene. Your nails dig into his shoulders, your head knocking back against the door, but he doesn’t slow down. Doesn’t let up.

“So wet for me,” he groans, voice gone completely ragged. “So fuckin’ needy—can’t believe I had you melting in the hallway like some spoiled little slut—”

You keen at that, the filth in his voice sending shockwaves through your spine, and he feels it. Feels the way you tighten around him in response.

“Ohhh—fuck, you like that?” he pants, hips snapping fast now. “You like being my little secret? All dressed up like you’re innocent, but you open up like a whore the second I get you alone—”

“Felix,” you whimper, “please, please—”

“Please what, baby?” he taunts, even as his rhythm falters, sweat slicking his chest. “Please make you cum? Please fill you up? Gotta use your words if you want my cock to ruin you properly.”

You drag your mouth to his ear, gasping it out between broken moans. “Please—need you to cum in me. Want you to fuck me full—”

Felix snaps.

A guttural growl tears from his throat as he shifts his grip under your thighs, lifting you higher, angling you perfectly. And then he slams into you, deep, relentless, the head of his cock punching against the spot that makes your whole body seize.

You mewl—there’s no other word for it—your orgasm blindsiding you so violently it leaves your ears ringing. Your walls pulse, clamp down hard, and he chokes on a moan, hips jerking erratically.

“Ohfuckohfuckohfuck— gonna cum—gonna—fuck—take it—”

And then he’s spilling inside you, thick and hot, cock buried to the hilt as he whimpers against your neck. He doesn’t stop moving, grinding through it, pushing it deeper, chasing every last drop with a fucked-out desperation that sends aftershocks wracking your spine.

You’re both panting—sweaty, shaking, still clinging to each other like if you let go, you’d both collapse.

He finally pulls back enough to look at you. Hair stuck to his forehead, lips red and swollen, pupils blown so wide they’ve nearly swallowed the brown whole.

Then his eyes drop between your legs.

He watches, breathless, as your cunt flutters around his cock, his cum already starting to slide out with a slick drip that makes him groan again.

“God,” he breathes, wrecked. “Look at that.”

His thumb swipes through the mess, lifts it to your lips.

“Taste what you do to me.”

And fuck—you do.

📄 INTERNAL SERVICE MEMO // SKZOTEL STAFF MEETING

DATE: Today

TIME: Five minutes past chaos o'clock

CALLED BY: Concierge Aeryn

SUBJECT: Felix’s hallway dalliances (again)

[CAMERA ON: STAFF MEETING ROOM — SKZOTEL BASEMENT, SLIGHTLY TOO NICE FOR WHAT HAPPENS HERE]

A long mahogany table. Pristine water pitchers no one touches. A massive whiteboard with “PROFESSIONALISM???” scrawled in red marker.

Aeryn: (palms flat on table, eye twitching) “I’d like to begin by reminding everyone that SKZotel is a luxury establishment, not a sex dungeon with turndown service.”

Chan: (sipping coffee, unreadable) “I mean, depends on the package they book.”

Aeryn: “Christopher.”

Seungmin: (flipping through a file titled ‘Noise Complaints – Vol. 6’) “Suite 1703. Moaning commenced at 2:41 PM, escalated to screaming by 2:47. Ceased at 3:00. Fairly efficient.”

Lee Know: (idly polishing a silver tray that might be decorative or weaponized) “Must’ve been preheated. I usually take longer.”

Aeryn: “This is not a competition—”

Changbin: (cutting in) “Yeah, because I’d win.”

Jeongin: (angelic as always, sipping tea) “I could offer a post-coital scrub to calm everyone down.”

Han: (from a rolling chair he’s spinning in at dangerous speeds) “I was watching the whole thing on camera. Very cinematic. I give Felix’s stroke game a solid nine, but the wall angle could’ve been tighter.”

Aeryn: (losing it) “Why are there wall angles—no—nope. This is a staff meeting.” (points at whiteboard) “Professionalism. What does that mean to any of you?”

Chan: (calm, diplomatic) “It means we deliver… curated experiences. Personalized hospitality.” (beat) “And occasionally, orgasms.”

Aeryn: (rubbing her temples) "This is the third complaint this week involving someone being fucked against a wall, and two of those were from people not involved."

Hyunjin: (sips matcha) "Okay, but did they mention how clean that wall was? Because I just polished it with lavender oil and pheromones."

Lee Know: (deadpan) "Maybe the problem isn’t us. Maybe the problem is architecture."

Changbin: (nodding) "Right. Like, if you don't want people to get railed against the walls, why install walls? Build open-concept."

Aeryn: "Changbin, please stop advocating for an orgy-friendly layout. This is not a brothel. It is a hotel. A high-end, five-star—"

Felix:(softly) "—with exceptional hands-on service."

Bang Chan: (finally speaks, very dry) "Look. We all know why people really book here. Let’s not pretend the 'Do Not Disturb' signs aren’t just invitations. But Aeryn has a point. If we keep escalating, someone’s going to post a video, and then suddenly we’re not a hotel anymore—we’re a category on Pornhub."

Han Jisung: (shrugs) "We’d get five stars there too."

Aeryn: "Chan. Please. You’re supposed to be on my side."

Chan:"I’m on the side of guest satisfaction. But yes. Discretion. Let’s just agree to keep things contained. Fewer hallway incidents. Less public moaning. No full-body lifting unless it’s behind closed doors. Deal?"

Lee Know: (raising a single brow) "So elevator scenes are still okay?"

Bang Chan: "...Yes, but only after midnight."

Aeryn: (flatly) "I hate this place."

Everyone else: (in unison) "We know."

[MEETING ENDS IN DISARRAY. EVERYONE LEAVES WITH VERY DIFFERENT UNDERSTANDINGS OF WHAT "PROFESSIONAL" MEANS.]

[LAST SHOT: AERYN SITTING ALONE, STARING INTO A COFFEE CUP LIKE IT'S A CRYSTAL BALL.]

Aeryn (to the camera): “I graduated top of my class. I spoke three languages by sixteen. Now I chase horny employees around a sex hotel. ...I need a raise.”

Series taglist: @nightmarenyxx @miyaluvvsyou @jisuperboard @fackeraccount @silly250

[sydwritess]

Groupchats with Y/n Pt. 3

F1 grid x fem!reader

Summary: texts in the F1 group chat with y/n

Notes: requests are open!

01 02 03 04 05

Y/n

Y'all OMG did you hear Brad Pittsburgh house got broken into 😱

Max's best friend

Yes, so sad.

Y/n

No, it's not

Max's best friend

Y/n.... have some compassion

Y/n

Suck it Mercedes

Bearman #1

Did you guys get the bill from last night? I want to pay you back.

Charlie

Well shit

Lanlikesfish

Uh.....

Max's best friend

Fuck

Y/n

Bill..?

Bearman #1

Yeah, the dinner bill... from last night. We had a group dinner with all the drivers and some others

Maxine ✨️

Stupid move mate

Y/n

Oh... I bet it was nice. How fun 🙂

Lanlikesfish

Really... stupid.

Y/n

DON'T CALL OLLIE STUPID. HE DID NOTHING WRONG YOU PRICKS.

Bearman #1

Thanks y/n

Y/n

❤️❤️

Pastry🥐

It was kind of a.... team thing.

Y/n

Oh really? But Kelly went?

Maxine✨️

Are you okay?

Y/n

Just fine 🙂

Maxine✨️

Okay

------------------------------------

GC without y/n:

Ollie

Do you think she's mad?

George

She's mad.

Lando

Big time

Charles

I told you guys to fucking invite her and you didn't listen! Of course she'd be fucking mad!

Lando

Sorry

Lewis

I agree with Charles. She deserved to come. Driver or not. I mean... sorry to say, but Kelly came. It would have only been fair.

Kimi

What happened if you don't mind me asking

Charles

Yesterday was the anniversary of her that terrible car crash she was in a few years back.

Yuki

Car crash?

Lewis

Yeah. Her ex and her were in the car on the highway. Her ex was mad at her (for literally nothing), and he was driving so fast around a turn that they tumbled. Rolling over multiple times. He got away with a couple of scars while she was passed out in the car. It took a couple of days for her to wake...

Kimi

Wow, so he just... left her there?

Charles

Yes. Unfortunately. He was a pretty selfish boy. Left her there to die, basically. He went to jail, though, for attempted murder.

Ollie

Wow, that's unbelievable

Lando

Lol. Boy. Not man. I get that one

Max

Look. I feel bad but why is she blaming Kelly?

Alex

Well I mean Oscar did say it was a team thing. Kelly really isn't a part of the team. She just watches the races. Sometimes

Max

But still, she's my wife.

Alex

But y/n does a lot to. She supports all of the teams, she photographs them, she sponsors them, she is part of the team

Max

Whatever I have to go

George

Alex isn't wrong...

Carlos

Me and Becky can take her out tonight... we're going to the new Italian place in monaco.

Lewis

Maybe I can talk to her.

Oscar

She probably knows we're talking behind her back already with this gc.

Charles

How?

Oscar

She legit just texted me saying 'I know you have a separate gc to talk about me'

Lando

Haha. She's smart.

------------------------------------

GC with y/n:

Charlie

So... have you guys seem that big boat in the town Harbour? In monaco. It's nice.

Lanlikesfish

Yeahh I want to steal it 😈

Carlos

What the hell?

Alexandria

Y/n, between our next race I'm doing a cooking video, do you want to join?

Max's best friend

That sounds fun

Kimi Kardashian

Can I join?

Alexandria

Sure kimi.

Lanlikesfish

Y/n?

Pastry 🥐

Is she even in here anymore?

Yuki

Dude

Pastry 🥐

You're the ones who upset her. Not me.

Riccardio

I think y/n needs to play some golf with me. It's fun.

Lanlikesfish

Take your retired ass to the nursing home 😂

Y/n

That sounds fun Alex thanks

Alex

For sure 😊

Maxine ✨️

Anyway....

Y/n

Daniel. Of course I'll play golf with you. And maybe we can invite Max so I can drive him around with the golf cart and crash him into a tree:)

Maxine ✨️

What?

Roscoe's dad

Not funny y/n

Y/n

Hm? I didn't say anything funny

Max's best friend

This is all fine and all but CAN YOU PLEASE CHANGE MY NAME

Y/n

Here's a word you prob never heard ✨️no✨️

Y/n changed Maxine ✨️ to I love George sm

I love George sm

Hey what the fuck!

Max's best friend

HAHAHAHAHA

Lanlikesfish

HAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Y/n

ANYWAY who wants to go golfing with the best (aka me)

Lanlikesfish

ME ME ME ME ME ME

I love George sm

Not me.

Y/n

Good cuz you weren't invited

I love George sm

whatever

Y/n

L - L - Loser..... Have fun, red bull.

Roscoe's dad

Y/n... maybe we should be politer

Y/n

I'm happy the way I am. I don't want to mature - Lando Norris

Lanlikesfish

YES QUEEN

Carlos 🌶

SLAYYYYYY

Y/n

Here's me showing you I'm the best

Lanlikesfish

??

Y/n

🏑.............................................. ⛳️

Hole in one. Mate.

Riccardio

Y/n that's like a hockey puck thing

Y/n

I DONT HAVE THAT GOLB CLUB EMOJI DONT COME AFTER ME ✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️

Y/n changed Lanlikesfish to Sir Lando the great

Sir Lando the great

YESSS, I officially made it on the nice list!!

Carlos 🌶

Don't change my name, please. I like the Chile pepper. It reminds me of how ✨️spicy✨️ I am.

Y/n

Hahahahahaha oh my god 😂

Max's best friend

PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU TO CHANGE MY NAME.

Y/n

..........................................................................✨️no✨️

Kimi Kardashian

Guys why is it so hot out?

Y/n

Where?

Kimi Kardashian

Australia

Y/n

Oop. You better watch out for the godzilla spiders they have there.

Kimi Kardashian

No...

Y/n

OH YEAH... bigger than your hand probably

Max's best friend

Y/n please don't scare my teammate.

Y/n

He's okay. I'm sure someone will be there for him

Max's best friend

Oh, lord.

Hey loves! Pt. 3 is here! Got some slight events going on! Comment to be added to the tag list! Requests are open!

Tag list:

@mimisweetz @latay7

[bowtiepasta]

NOT EVEN DEATH: ATSUMU MIYA

chapter three — quid pro quo. grief is complicated. so is talking about it with your ex.

indulging: language, mature and dark humor, professional/ethical violations probably, some grief, ex mention

romy’s note: listen to so far gone! going to grab their voodoo dolls and make them kiss and make up NOW

previous chapter. series masterlist. next chapter.

previous chapter. series masterlist. next chapter.

‘not dating’ in her logic: ‘not not sleeping with her’

his mom passed away about a year and a half ago so it’s still a pretty fresh wound. someone’s in denial

haikyuu writers pass the bechdel test challenge FAIL

iwaizumi hajime peacemaker ™️ i’m love him

trying to speed through finishing this series while the spark is still there. sorry omdb

kiyoko back in the gc next chapter let’s fucking go

consider reblogging, commenting, or sending an ask if you enjoyed. thank you for reading not even death ! ❤︎ do not copy, edit, repost, or translate, any of my content on any platforms.

GUESTLIST

if your username is in green, please head to your settings -> general settings -> mentions, and enable them for your blog. otherwise, you will be removed from the taglist.

@pmgranate @silkloom @reidsworld @scoutings @nightcityaliens @loveyislost @megumuro @quemirasboboandapaya @katsuphobic @jayathelostdragon @sun4san0 @asxprse @hwanghyunjinismybae @whoevenisjessica @neeeooon @sexylexy12 @carminechrollo @celestialm1nd @pookalicious-hq @shozuken @pha2nt0m @tojirin @evilari111

[auggieblogs]

Curls in Singapore ₊˚⊹♡

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Author's note: Hello, lovelies. I hope everyone is doing fine. This one shot is inspired by, well, me. Tbt last week in Singapore, when Lando got a haircut and in every picture (that I saw) he had his cap on. So, I just assumed he got a bad haircut and had a whole breakdown about it on the gc.

Singapore was alive with the buzz of the Grand Prix, and Lando Norris was no exception to the excitement. He had been considering getting a haircut for a while now, especially after seeing Carlos and Max, sporting fresh trims. But there was one person whose opinion mattered to him the most – you, his girlfriend.

You adored Lando's curly locks. They were his trademark and you loved running your fingers through his fluffy hair. So, when he broached the subject of getting a haircut, you weren't on board with the idea at all.

"Lando, you can't do it!" you protested, pouting as you clung to him in the hotel room. "Your curls are perfect. Don't let anyone touch them!"

Lando chuckled, cupping your face and gazing into your eyes with all the affection in the world. "Come on, love, it's just a trim. I promise it won't be bad."

Reluctantly, you nodded, but you couldn't hide your pout. "Alright, fine. But if they mess up those locks, you're sleeping on the couch, Norris."

Lando kissed your forehead. "Deal."

Hours passed, and Lando had to rush off to his media duties right after his haircut. He hadn't seen you since he left for the salon, so when he returned to the room wearing his McLaren cap, he was met with your dramatic gasp.

"LANDO NORRIS, YOU RUINED THE BEAUTIFUL CURLS, DIDN'T YOU?" you exclaimed, hands on your hips and an exaggerated frown on your face.

Lando couldn't help but giggle, and he took off his cap, revealing his newly styled hair. As the cap came off, you were greeted by a sight that took your breath away. Lando's hair was not ruined; it was better than before. His curls had been styled beautifully, and he looked, well, pretty. Really pretty.

You couldn't help but gape at him, your eyes wide with astonishment. "Wow," you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "You look amazing."

Lando beamed, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. He walked closer to you, allowing you to run your fingers through his soft curls. "You really think so?"

You nod fervently, your heart swelling with love. Leaning in, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You're so beautiful, Lando."

Lando's smile widened. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. "Guess I won't be needing that couch tonight, huh?", he added with a playful grin.

You giggled, your fingers still entwined in his curls. "Nope, guess the couch gets to stay empty tonight!"

[nerdlvr]

ᡣ𐭩 ｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅rent-a-girlfriend.com ~ jisung's group

retired thots !

psychology major park jisung is tired of watching his friends fawn over their partners. using girls to do his homework just isn't cutting it anymore. now he's curious to see what all the hype is about, what's so good about being committed to one girl? he might just have to find out.

dreamy, hot, unattainable, mark lee, is still dreamy and hot but has been attained. with the little help of the anonymous dating app cryptic crush, he was able to find his one true love, just so happens that she was right next door. he's now a self proclaimed "love expert" offering to help jisung out, maybe he should just stick to completing his music degree...

drama major lee donghyuck is in a parasocial relationship with a guy who "hates" him, it doesn't bother him though, he likes to beg. even though he still goes for a cougar here and there, he values the depth of committed relationships a lot more after watching his friends fall in love. too bad that valuing depth doesn't mean you give good romantic advice.

lee jeno lovesss his exercise science major. not only does it help him make his body look godly, it was the gateway to obtaining his hot boyfriend na jaemin. watching his friends fail at basically everything is his favorite pass time, especially when he gets to tell his boyfriend all the juicy details.

these hotties are all part of sm university's largest fraternity neo theta phi, they refuse to live in the shared house after they caught one of the frat guys fucking on jisung and jeno's bunk bed. (somehow they had used both beds). 99% of the time their talking about their partners or hanging out with their partners, the other 1% is spent on planning the most outrageously idiotic plans to help jisung get a girlfriend.

yn's group ~ masterlist ~ intro

notes : these profiles are similar to the ones from cryptic crush just with a little twist since they're all in relationships now (except hyuck idk what's wrong with him) ready to go back down a idiot fuckboy spiral we will suffer together ! (dream blunt rotation gc will be included)

taglist : @strawberrysavi , @sunghoonsgfreal , @axo-l0tl , @jakesbubu , @baobeii55 , @solvrse , @lionzyon , @hyucktion , @rksbae , @hyucksunset , @m1ng1swife , @byeonwooseokabs , @ohwowzersthatscool , @prettybluei , @kodasity , @catdonut657 , @slayhaechan , @yuujiswrld , @lvrholic , @dudekiss3r , @catpjimin , @multifandomania , @wonsyn , @nctrawberries , @kimsaerom , @n0hyuck , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @4chensungs , @nneteyamss , @mrkleelvr , @njmluvr , @hyunjungjae , @dolleyedgirl , @cyjzzl , @aerivrs , @jeonghansshitester , @minkyuncutie , @413ktz

[kiana12113]

Modern AU︎ ₊˚⊹౨ৎ

Red Dead Redemption Headcanons, in which:

The Van der Linde Gang lives in the year 2025 — where most of them are in college.

Note: Very fluffy; I had a field day writing this. I know these dudes are in their mid-twenties. Let’s just play with our dolls a little. ( ´꒳` ) <3

John Marston

✦ Who shares a dorm with Javier. Despite the noisy rooms filled with the constant blaring of electric guitars, the dorm is quite well-kept. Mostly, the cleaning of Javier — who makes sure the room is presentable.

✦ Who owns band shirts for a living. An avid listener of Nirvana, Radiohead, Deftones, and Foo Fighters. There are posters put on his walls, along with his black Stratocaster.

✦ Who owns an electric guitar, put stickers on it, and thought it would make him cooler than Javier. He thought it would get him chicks, but it instead made him look more of a loser than he already was. Javier borrows the guitar frequently, using it more than John does. Argues that he knows how to play more songs than Smoke on the Water.

✦ Who won’t let Arthur touch it, though.

✦ Who doesn’t necessarily fail his classes, but doesn’t necessarily pass them either. He does them with incredible finesse that he is always at point 50/50. John barely studies before tests, either, claiming his stock-knowledge will help him pass.

✦ Who uses 7-in-1 shampoo. He complains about having dandruff, searching YouTube tutorials how to get rid of it — stubbornly refusing to stop using the shampoo even though Arthur had told him multiple times to drop it. John argues it’s because it’s effective, but it’s really just because it’s cheaper.

✦ Who crashed Arthur’s car, not once, but twice. After the following tragedies, Arthur no longer let’s John touch the steering wheel, getting an earful every time he even got close.

“Hey, maybe we should do this more often.” John says, in the passengers seat.

“Maybe we could if ya stopped crashing my car, Marston.” Arthur replies.

✦ Who gets high in his dorm’s bathtub, body wholly soaked in water as he listens to “Creep” by Radiohead. Tears flow down his red eyes.

✦ Who writes his number on a bathroom stall with a Sharpie. No one messages him, unfortunately. He told Javier about it and the Mexican laughed his ass off. “You’re truly something, John.”

✦ Who spent all his money on a concert, had the time of his life, and about a slideshow in his Instagram story. He ate canned corn and tuna for the whole week after, earning a trip to the clinic after ridiculous diarrhea.

✦ Who has about 500 followers on his TikTok, who apparently like to watch John’s rants and fit checks. He’s always talking and yelling about some niche issue like why there has to be different levels of water needed for specific rice. His video is always unGodly cropped, too, always just showing most of the ceiling and his face only until his nose.

✦ Who has people ask why his beard is like that and John says it came from a wolf attack just to seem cool. No one believes him anyway.

✦ Who was crossing the street once, in a really bad mood, when a car had stopped to only honk at him. He stared at the car for a moment, as if trying to discern if they were serious. He gave whoever asshole inside that car a middle-finger. It wouldn’t be uncommon to see John go viral for doing something vain and stupid.

✦ Who has large canine teeth, always showing when he smiles in pictures.

✦ Who has an hour in screen time for the calculator app and notes app. Not because he is a poet or a mathematician, but because he pretends to look busy when passing by people.

✦ Who almost burnt down his dorm one time trying to cook “gourmet” food. The CCTV footage of the event is pinned in the Van der Linde GC.

✦ Who survives off of food in convenience stores and ordering food. The only time he gets to eat real food is when Javier decides to cook (rarely) and he goes out with Arthur.

✦ Who meets a girl named Abigail — who Javier had suggested. They hit it off for the meantime, John frequently texting her and thinking to himself if he looked a little too desperate.

✦ Who played Mario Kart with Arthur when they were kids and he never won against him. He would always threaten to throw the console (Arthur’s) as he yelled out insults to him.

✦ Who has about $2 to his name.

Javier Escuella

✦ Who does pretty well in his classes, and actually tries.

✦ Who actually gets girls, unlike John. Although he never gets in a relationship that lasts more than two months. He always ends up getting cheated on, for some reason.

✦ Who played “Hotel California” by Eagles in a campus event and killed it. He got about 50 DMs after, him and John playing a guessing game on how high the numbers of notifications he would reach. Anyway, he gave his phone to John to reply to them.

✦ Who is well kept, clean, showers daily — unlike John, he actually has a deliberate shower routine and process.

✦ Who’s always talking to himself, muttering and mumbling in Spanish. John is weirded out when Javier’s toes hit the legs of the coffee table and it looks as if Javier’s cursing its whole oak family in Spanish. He’ll also do it in his sleep.

✦ Who gets baked. He contemplates the meaning and purpose of his life for an hour, then stares at the empty wall in front of him in silence for about twenty minutes. Promptly passes out after.

✦ Who loves his guitar more than himself. So much so that he actually named it “Boaz”. He accidentally hit it on his knee once and despite yelping in pain, he checked if the guitar had gotten a scratch first. It’s more expensive than his life.

✦ Who had gotten drunk off his ass once, and tried to serenade a woman. He was so wasted that he didn’t even notice it was merely a life-size cutout of a celebrity. People stared at him weird.

✦ Who casually has knives displayed in his room. John stared at him weird, entering once. “What? It’s a hobby. Never heard of it before?”

✦ Who cooks like a housewife, with music, hands on his hips, and with an apron on. He’ll even point at John with the ladle if he tries to steal his stuff.

✦ Who stares at the mirror for twenty minutes before leaving. He squints his eyes and makes sure his ponytail is nice, his clothes aren’t wrinkled, and he still smiles the same.

Sean MacGuire

✦ Who’s roommates with Lenny. He usually makes most of the noise, except for when Lenny crashes out while studying for an exam.

✦ Who’s naked most of the time, too. He’s found walking around the dorm without a shirt on and his boxers. Once he answered the door forgetting that he had nothing on but his underwear and he wondered why the pizza delivery guy was stammering and stuttering in confusion. “Whut? You wanna hang out?”

✦ Who is chronically online. He knows all the latest trends, the latest memes, the latest emojis being used, even brain rot. Presently, he’s been talking Lenny’s ear off about his undeniable hate for “Tung Tung Tung Sahur” or whatever.

✦ Who comments on most of the posts he sees. Arthur posting on Facebook about horses? “Well ya look like one, so that’s another one.”

Bill’s angry rant on Twitter? “Chill out Billy Badass!”

Karen’s Snapchat story? “I swear, they stared at me first. Honest.”

And he’ll spam Dutch’s posts with likes for fun. He’s a menace like that. Dutch’ll tag him minutes later in their group chat and go,

“@Sean MacGuire, stop liking my posts repeatedly. It’s not funny.” Sean’ll react a thumbs up to his message and keep doing it anyway for shits and giggles.

✦ Who’s always early to posts, too. So if the gang members are hoping it’s some thoughtful comment and compliment, it’s actually just Sean fucking around.

✦ Who switches his profile picture and changes his username every few weeks. People will wonder who this person liking their posts are, but it’s actually just Sean’s third account who’s changed his profile picture the second time this week.

✦ Who has his social media stories updated every day. Admittedly, they are entertaining, even if it’s just full of shit. He’ll post a picture of him and Lenny and the next picture once you tap it is an attempt at thirst trapping.

✦ Who’s beaten everyone in a drinking game before. He’ll bug everyone in the gang to drink with him and find a way to make it competitive. He’ll even throw in his phone for a time-lapse so it’ll be funnier.

✦ Who Lenny will try to help with his devastating grades. Lenny will say how he has no future ahead of him if he continues passing late homework and projects and Sean grumbles and mutters complains and rolls around the couch in annoyance.

✦ Who studies for a test one time in his life because it was worth half his grade and still gets a 49%. He had to retake the test after.

✦ Who is great at singing, especially in the shower, much to the annoyance of the people next door. Unfortunately he won’t be stopping because he’s realized his power and talent one time he tried duetting with Javier.

✦ Who copies off of Lenny’s work. (They have different classes).

✦ Who lost his front tooth in a sad attempt at skateboarding. Had it live streamed on Tiktok, too. He had to play it cool.

✦ Who stayed up so late with Lenny once finishing Breaking Bad. They vowed never to do such a marathon again because the following day their head hurt like hell and they stayed on the floor the whole day. There laid a comforter, though, despite it being covered in crumbs of leftover chips.

✦ Who has the most unhinged wallpaper ever. Like his profile picture, it changes every few weeks.

✦ Who’s the only one active in the Van der Linde GC. He keeps trying to change GC name and profile picture but Dutch always changes it back the next day.

✦ Who gets so drunk out of his mind after a party and slept with his mouth open and legs wrapped around itself. Lenny took pictures with flashes that night. Sean doesn’t remember a thing that happened, but claims he had several girls chasing after him then.

✦ Who jokes at the worst times, accidentally upsetting Lenny even more after joking about being a failure in life. Lenny had just failed an exam.

✦ Who celebrates Halloween for the whole month. His costumes are always top tier with realism — it’s the one thing he takes seriously other than St. Patrick’s Day. “Let’s fockin’ go, Ireland! Long live the Irish!”

Lenny Summers

✦ Who gets invited to parties, though mostly rejects them if he has something more important to do. He takes Sean for an example. But if he doesn’t, though, he’s going to get drunk, piss drunk until his legs feel like wet spaghetti and barely gets his keys to open the door. He tries at least ten different combinations of putting it in before it opens and his body falls down on the floor.

✦ Who has a part-time job, usually busy and exhausted the moment he comes home. Imagine being tired and seeing Sean without clothes greet you. That’s his life.

✦ Who is active on social media, taking care of his account. It’s actually organized and have meaningful posts.

✦ Who’s natural habitat is the couch, watching shows that rot his mind even more. Sean’ll have the remote in his hands and go through Netflix, asking “How about this one?” for hours because Lenny has seen all of them already.

✦ Who walks to his classes with EarPods on and blasting “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee because he has to get through this day even though the dread is already catching up to him. He copes by pretending to be Miles Morales.

✦ Who knows how to drive a car properly. In fact, he’s the only one Arthur trusts driving the car other than Hosea. Maybe not while drunk, though.

✦ Who had once a long-time girlfriend when he was in high school and hasn’t moved on from her. He’ll be sharing posts like “still thinking about you” even though she’s blocked Lenny on all social media sites.

✦ Who can’t sleep without a blanket because he gets cold easily. He keeps adjusting the temperature in the dorm and Sean’s sleep walking ass keeps turning it down.

✦ Who banged his head against a wall so hard out of annoyance, it grew a red sore spot the next day. The annoyance got to him after trying to memorize all the acts in his Textbook. He looked like a clown.

✦ Who bought spicy Korean noodles once and attempted to eat it while on live stream with Sean. They cried.

Kieran Duffy

✦ Who got a one person dorm and loved it. He had all the space to himself and he didn’t need to get along with anyone — well, at first. Except his neighbors, and that Irishman who wouldn’t stop singing in the shower. He doesn’t get sleep.

✦ Who one time studied for a test so much he came to class shaking. No, not because he was nervous or scared (maybe), but because he drank so much coffee he was sure he was about to collapse. To add, he didn’t shower the whole week. He passed out after the exam, his unfortunate stinky body found by Sean.

✦ Who went to a baseball game and got a baseball directly swung at his nose. He wasn’t able to see baseballs the same for a few weeks, especially after how his nose-bridge shattered upon impact, bleeding endlessly.

✦ Who is financially stable. He’ll have savings and plans and control his spendings. He is the richest broke college student ever.

✦ Who still freaking loves horses — he’ll scroll through his TikTok For You Page and all that is there are about horses. He has his horse, Branwen, waiting for him back home. He visits frequently to see his Mammy and Pappy, as well.

✦ Who got invited to a party once and got more girls than Sean did that night. He left the party with his face filled to the brim with kiss marks of lipstick, and numbers written on paper in his pockets. How? He didn’t know.

✦ Who doesn’t use his phone much. While some people are reliant on in these days, he doesn’t see the catch. He’d rather spend his time elsewhere.

✦ Who regularly uses emoticons like “:)” and “:(” when he texts someone or posts something. He’ll be like “Went to visit Brawnwen today :)” in his story or “Bad news, guys :(”.

✦ Who is techy — for some reason, he knows how to fix a PC, the WiFi, the monitor. He says his Pappy taught him that when he was a teen.

✦ Who has the clearest, 20/20 eyes however has astigmatism in his left eye. He wears glasses sometimes when he wants to.

Arthur Morgan

✦ Who takes the gang in an outing once in a while — Dutch’s idea. They went to a beach once. On the way there Sean had blasted music and people in the back seat decided to eat inside his car even when he explicitly said not to. “I said not to eat in the car. You are all insufferable. All of ya shouldda squeezed yurselves in Hosea’s car instead.”

✦ Who groans every time Sean says “Are we there yet?” and John has to say “No, Sean.” and shut him up with a disappointed face. Lenny is admittedly annoyed out of his mind but cannot for the love of him talk to anyone in the backseat.

The only time Arthur had peace in that Godforsaken trip was when everyone fell soundly asleep and the radio played “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman.

✦ Who owns a 1965 Blue Ford Mustang. He cursed John when he crashed it, causing the car to have a few scratches. He takes care of it very well.

✦ Who makes a living off being an artist and lives in a comfortable home with Mary. There also lives his dog, Copper.

✦ Who gets incredibly worked up when there’s traffic. He’ll grumble and insult everyone in front of him, honking his horn loudly if they’re on their phone while driving. He’s an impatient man when it comes to these situations. He loses his mind when the traffic light suddenly turns red just when’s he’s about to cross.

✦ Who has some knowledge on how phones work, as much as he doesn’t use them. He uses Facebook the most, scrolling through everyone’s posts and occasionally reacting a “haha” emote on a funny post. He’s usually at the Facebook Marketplace, though.

✦ Who won’t replace or buy something new unless it’s completely unusable. Those boots and shoes he’s been wearing? Yeah, that was from 2011. Still going strong.

✦ Who hates Starbucks. “It’s so damn expensive, ‘n for what? Cup of coffee?” He’d rather eat at the diner nearby — he isn’t a picky eater. He has a burning hate for minimalism, too. He wonders why people need to simplify already simple enough things.

✦ Who’s always the provider, bringing food when he comes to visit people. Times when he’ll get invited by Hosea and Dutch to do something he knows to bring at least two bottles of Whiskey with him. Or when he visits Charles.

✦ Who’s also unfortunately John’s babysitter — even if he’s gone to college already. He’ll pick him up in a random house after getting drunk beyond comprehension.

“Don’t throw up in the seat — open the window,” Arthur warns.

John begins to hurl.

“No no no not here — John!”

✦ Who has so much shared posts in Facebook it’s scary. It’ll cover a wide range of emotions. “Appreciate what you have in life”, “Careful who you ignore in high school”, “This deer decided to enter the pub”, “Traffic incident today”, “Happy Wife hapy Life” “20 minute sketches” and “Easy Baking Soda trick to remove stains from non-stick pan”.

✦ Who still prefers to journal with a pen and paper. He feels like it’s right.

✦ Who cried when he watched “Up” by Pixar. He couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

✦ Who’ll need reading glasses when he’s settled down on the couch to read a book. Dutch gifted him a book written by Dostoevsky once and he’s been meaning to finish it so he can tell Dutch he did. He’s kind of confused, but he’s got the spirit.

✦ Who you’ll find in the deepest trenches of Reddit and Quora scrolling down to find the answer to the questions he asked for.

✦ Who’s the type of guy who’ll die before the grocery bags are lifted up two times. He needs to have all of them in his arms even if it weighted more than him, because he’ll be damned if he has to go back to the car when he’s already in his house.

Charles Smith

✦ Who lives alone and peaceful out in the suburbs — he’s the farthest from everyone. Most of the time he’s out, anyway.

✦ Who occasionally has boxing matches. He uses it to take out the anger in himself. If it isn’t enough, he has a punching bag that he uses daily.

✦ Who’s closet consists of hoodies ninety-percent of the time.

✦ Who has insomnia and can’t sleep without turning off the lights and taking sleeping pills. He gets so irritated if he’s just closing his eyes but not sleeping because the man is so tired; all he wants is to rest.

✦ Who has a controlled diet and exercises regularly, running every morning, eating fish and vegetables, all of that fiber. He lifts weights, too — he has decent discipline.

✦ Who, despite this, still has days when he would lay on the couch all day and let his brain deteriorate while eating a tub of ice cream. He finished it all in one night — despite it being family-sized. What a miracle that he was able to stomach it for dinner.

✦ Who has gotten a cat enter his house one time and meow endlessly for food. When he gave it some, though, it never left. It stayed inside and made itself feel at home. Charles thought it was brave and fierce — he named her Taima. So now he’s a cat lady.

✦ Who has a stable job and sideline. He’s doing well financially, and despite having the money to eat outside, he much prefers to be inside and cook his own meal.

✦ Who owns a bike that he uses frequently to get where he wants to, usually his work. He’s willing to let people borrow it, however, no one does — considering how far he lives away. He’ll have a helmet on and all of that gear. Women around him will often greet him and giggle. He is complete eye candy.

✦ Who posts rarely. He doesn’t pay attention to social media, always saying how it’ll eat you alive if you don’t notice. He avoids using his phone much, which causes him to see messages late. Arthur will send a message in the GC and Charles will react to it the next day.

✦ Who is a really good drummer. He performed a gig in front of a crowd once and people loved him. He now does it occasionally. The gang will attend his shows.

“The drummer! Show the drummer!” Arthur says. “Woo!” And he’s literally playing jazz. They’re treating it like it was a Metallica concert.

✦ Who had gone offline for roughly three weeks one time that Dutch got worried and sent Arthur to look at his state. He didn’t need another Trelawny — he says. That time, Charles had left his phone somewhere.

Hosea Matthews

✦ Who is retired and happy. On most days he’s found sitting on a chair by his front porch and reading novels, or listening to a radio. He lives near Arthur’s so he’ll often see him out and he’ll yell, with a smile, “Hey, Arthur! Bein’ a great husband?”

✦ Who was the one Arthur turned to when he wanted to buy a car. Hosea’s immense knowledge and taste will forever influence everyone.

✦ Who has a bunch of polaroid pictures in an album of the gang when most of them were still very young. He has a picture of him and Dutch in his car, Arthur as a rebellious teen, John in his underwear, a group picture full of smiles, the girls as teens posing while putting excessive makeup on and Miss Grimshaw telling them it was way too much. He has some of them hanged on his living room wall, and a picture of Bessie in his wallet.

✦ Who will be on the receiving end of Dutch’s shared posts. Dutch will send him posts with captions like “life is great when you follow the right path” or “the best leaders always make the best results” and Hosea will give him a thumbs up and an “Of course Dutch”.

✦ Who still has an old gramophone and plays different songs that remind him of his young days. Sometimes he will be slow dancing with Bessie in the living room. “Feels like the good ol’ days, eh? Darlin’?”

✦ Who plays Word games on his phone occasionally, and will ask Bessie for a game of Domino and Scrabble every once in a while. Hosea always wins when the Gang is playing Cluedo. And he’ll cheat along with Arthur when the game of Poker gets too boring.

The chaos that ensues during Monopoly is indescribable. Hosea and Trelawny are filthy rich, Sean never gets out of jail, John is in absolute debt, Sadie and Karen are arguing with Arthur because he’s pulling “new rules” out of his ass, Kieran is secretly winning, and Molly is watching it all happen with coffee in her hands.

Also, someone’s been eating the pieces.

“Who the fuck is eating the pieces? Where’s mine? El hijo de puta! I just went to get water!” Javier yells.

A Reverend who has suspiciously been burping shrugs, “Maybe it fell under the couch.”

✦ Who watched Titanic with Dutch, John, and Arthur in a cinema once and kept glancing at John and Arthur who were bickering about who was gonna cry first. They both did — failing to hide it.

✦ Who is like their father, the way John introduced him to Abigail. He raised a brow at John.

“You’re too good for this,” And John frowns, “Hosea — don’t say that to her.”

“What? I was talking to the girl. She’s too good for ya.” and he chuckles.

✦ Who accidentally clicks the button to call the GC. Dutch answers first, “What is it, Hosea? Is there a problem?”

Then Sean follows, “Ooh? What’s this?”

And then Lenny, Karen, and Bill pick it up as well. A few more minutes of silence ensure and Hosea’s camera is facing the ceiling, John and Arthur answer the call. Sean puts on a group filter.

Javier, Tilly, and Mary-beth do as well. The others catch up, all except for Strauss, Susan, Trelawny, and Charles.

Reverend frantically asks as he keeps incessantly sniffing, “What’s wrong?” And they’re left in constant confusion.

“Hosea?” Arthur asks.

“Who even called?” Karen adds.

Hosea picks up his phone because for some reason he could hear the gang. His eyebrows are furrowed while the camera shows his nose, the filter glitching in and out trying to detect his face. “Why are you all callin’?” He says, confused, and slightly irritated that his day got interrupted.

To which, in unison, they all say: “YOU called!”

Dutch Van der Linde

✦ Who is a big shopper. His clothes are all stylish and fashionable, making sure it makes him look classy and respectable. He takes care of his appearance very well, and his camera roll consists of primarily selfies and pictures of his rings and jewelry.

✦ Who is big on opinions, especially about current news and politics. Dutch will post a tweet on Twitter about the streets of America getting to crowded and how New York smells like shit — the only purpose it serves being a shiny pearl to foreigners.

He gets either two things: believers and non-believers. He’ll reply to them one by one because every notification from his phone is seen by him. Dutch’ll ignore the death threats in his DMs and say it isn’t even worth his time.

✦ Who’ll tag everyone in the GC every announcement, and every little thing. It annoys most of them. Arthur has considered muting the GC because of this — but he doesn’t, anyway.

✦ Who will also share every “inspirational quote” he sees and send glittery Good Morning GIFS in the GC.

✦ Who says games are a waste of time, yet is pushing level two-thousand in Candy Crush. He’s even got Hosea beat.

✦ Who will loudly talk to his phone, “Hey, Siri.”

“Turn the lights on and play Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven.”

He feels very powerful as the music starts and he begins to read a book.

✦ Who will try making those healthy shakes once. He’ll pretend to like it but secretly throw it away after one sip.

✦ Who has expensive wine cases and bottles decorated around his house. He has one of every brand, red and white wine.

✦ Who also regularly wears dark sunglasses, especially when outside or driving in his car. The man will smoke a cigarette, windows opened while his hand rests outside during traffic.

Someone will look at him wrong and he’ll further roll down his window, raising an eyebrow. “Got a problem, sir?”

Micah Bell

✦ Who will show up in gang outings without a word after saying he hasn’t got time to join them. He’ll give them a flashy grin and open his arms, expecting the warmest welcomes. “Well well well,” He starts. “Look who’s here. I’m sure ya all missed me.”

✦ Who is generally unemployed. He’ll try to pick up a job but will end up getting fired for inappropriate behavior. Then he’ll tell everyone he was too good for the company anyway.

No one knows where he’s getting his money from.

✦ Who is the master rage baiter. He is the rat whispering in everyone’s ears, especially online; primarily Instagram Reels. He’ll comment backhanded insults when someone changes their profile picture or shares posts. One time Arthur changed his profile picture to Copper and Micah replied, “Nice haircut, Arthur.” On other sites he will get banned every once in a while, though he’ll just make new accounts after.

✦ Who’ll also say the most unhinged and quite literally illegal opinions on 4chan. When it had shut down he shrugged and migrated to Twitter and Reddit — which he was using beforehand as well.

✦ Who also frequents sending death threats to people. He’ll get so worked up typing the longest essays in detail and will cry if they don’t reply shaking in their boots like he had imagined.

✦ Who keeps getting kicked from the GC by Arthur. Dutch adds him back a few hours later and will ask Arthur why he does this. In response Arthur will just tell him it was an accident, though it had happened about five times now.

✦ Who has one of those classic American motorcycles. It is well cleaned and kept, admittedly more than he is. He’ll go past the speed limit multiple times of the day, honk his horn for no reason, cut past people. He’s probably broken all of the traffic rules.

It’s his pride and life — his beauty. The love of his life, really.

✦ Who is often found in gas stations. He goes there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh, he’s hungry? Gas station. Oh, he’s thirsty? Gas station. Oh, he wants a little snack? Gas station.

✦ Who lives in a garage-like apartment. He will often fight with the landlord and strive to piss him off every day of the week.

✦ Who tries to take care of his hair. He’ll buy shampoo and conditioner for one month before giving up because it always reverts back to being greasy at the end of the day.

Mary-beth Gaskill

✦ Who’ll also share a room with Tilly. Their room is the cleanest of them all, filled with decorations, posters, and bookshelves. They take turns in all the chores and making dinner. Her natural habitat is her bed, her desk, or coffee shops — where she likes to study.

✦ Who’s stuffed toys from childhood, crocheted plushies, and Squishmallows have more space on her bed than she gets, though she likes it that way. In fear that people will call her silly, she doesn’t tell them they all have personal names.

✦ Who is the ultimate final boss when it comes to thrifting and ordering online. She knows all the great spots and places. She orders so much that she personally knows the delivery guy, and Tilly does, too. It mostly consists of books, sundresses, makeup, and so.

✦ Who makes “GRWM before class”s and it’s the most aesthetic, cutest video you’ll ever see. She also posts book reviews and writing tips on TikTok, with a staggering thirty-thousand followers.

✦ Who’ll put makeup on Kieran if he ever agrees. The young man is hesitant at first before eventually letting her. Mary-beth experiments on him, and it turns out Douyin makeup fits him the most.

At the end of the day, he’ll be filled with pink kisses on his cheek. Maybe it is worth it, he thinks.

✦ Who makes Pinterest boards in an organized manner. There’ll each be a board for different pins, like “Clothes”, “Book Quotes”, “Writing tips”, “Romance”, “Games”, “Study Methods”, and “Food”. She’ll put an emoji in each board title that matches what it says.

✦ Who is a builder. Her world in Minecraft is well-crafted and has a number of detailed builds, along with her houses in The Sims, Stardew Valley, and Animal Crossing.

✦ Who often visits the others with Tilly since they all study in the same university. Sometimes they’ll conduct group dates and movie marathons when everyone’s schedules are all free.

✦ Who also have a Tumblr blog and an AO3 account. She hides it from everyone, even though no one shames her for it. It’s like a little escape for her, especially with the stress and how College Life is. Her followers love her work, and she feels really appreciated.

✦ Who’ll cry with earphones on, listening to her playlist. Tilly never hears the end of “Enchanted” by Taylor Swift — especially the bridge.

✦ Who Tilly will find huddled in two blankets, sitting with the intense glow of her phone so close to her eyes she might as well go inside it. This is a common occurrence.

✦ Who’ll smoke a cigarette when she gets stressed, mostly about exams and her future. Constantly, she will ask herself, “What am I doing? Am I supposed to do this?”

Tilly Jackson

✦ Who’ll either come to class with a well thought of outfit or a “fuck this” one. The latter is chosen often because she couldn’t care less about what people said — she can’t fail Calculus looking all prety. She’d rather pass it looking like she hasn’t slept (and she hasn’t).

✦ Who will ask Mary-beth to go and get their hair done and nails together; in which they get sucked in a spending spree and end up spending more money than they thought they would. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re giggling and feeling good at the end of the day.

✦ Who will also ask Mary-beth to accompany her in a party. As much fun they have, drunk young adults try to woo them and invite them to their dorm. While Mary-beth will firmly say no, if the drunkards are too persuasive, Tilly will get ready to throw hands.

“Tilly, you almost made a scene there,” Mary-beth says in a worried tone.

“Well? What was I gonna do? Let ‘em harass us?” Tilly replies with sass.

“No, I’m saying you shouldn’t try to take three men in a fight.”

✦ Who went to an amusement park with John and Arthur when they were kids. She thoroughly enjoyed the first part of the roller-coaster before she ended up reciting all the curse words in the dictionary.

Arthur, after, asks her where she even heard those things. She shrugs, “It just comes to me naturally.”

✦ Who, as a kid, had been gifted dolls by Hosea. He thought she enjoyed them, with the way she was smiling and always had her hands full with playing. When Hosea came to check out how she’s doing, he discovers that Tilly has been making deliberate and highly detailed drama scenes.

“But I still need you! You’re everything,” Tilly says.

The old man peeks and raises a brow, listening intently.

“What about everything we’ve gone through? Where those all lies? You’re a bastard, Martin! A sick, cheating bastard!”

Hosea laughs his ass off.

✦ Who claims she doesn’t care about gossip, but will suddenly know where John was last Monday if anyone asked. She’ll pretend to think and ponder before eventually disclosing the story of how royally drunk he was. All the details are there and there are even point of views. No one knows who she’s getting this information from — but the reliability is definitely there.

✦ Who’s favorite show and movie as a kid was Tinkerbell (AKA The Pirate Fairy). Which leads to her favorite song, “Who I am” by Natasha Bedingfield.

Karen Jones

✦ Who presents a presentation in front of the class hungover and mind still fuzzy and bleary. Reportedly, she was stuttering and slurring a little — and yet got herself a high grade.

✦ Who hated Molly at first when she had to share living quarters with her. She thought she was arrogant, and only cared for herself. Molly herself returned the feeling of dislike while at the same time picking up Karen from being wasted in God knows where.

“Why’re ya always pickin’ me up? Can’t ya just leave me alone, Molly?” Karen says sluggishly.

Molly will only huff and cross her arms.

✦ Who’s active on Snapchat for a few months before dreading to open it again since all she gets there are creepy men who follow and Snap her — along with Sean replying to every story she adds. It’s like he knows when she’ll post.

✦ Who’ll get high in her room, once. She started seeing patterns and had the feeling that someone was behind her. No — never again, she swears.

✦ Who, like Lenny, has a moderated account in Instagram where she posts meaningful posts. Like stories when she leaves town, or went to the mall with the girls, sunsets, like that.

✦ Who, in the morning, will listen to her voice recordings from last night she didn’t even remember making. Karen has got a confused look on her face while she listens to herself cry about an exam she failed seven months ago.

Her notes app has also got the most unexpected things. It will be normal for the most part, like grocery checklists and passwords, and then there’ll be a gut-wrenching poem out of nowhere, followed by one-word notes.

✦ Who’s helped numerous women after a break up while drunk in a bathroom stall. She has the best advice, too.

“You don’t need ‘im, girl,” She hiccups. “Damn men. You said ya needed a pad, too? ‘Ere. Have ‘em all.”

✦ Who occasionally keeps herself sane with yelling as loud as she can in a pillow.

Molly ‘O Shea

✦ Who always looks and smells good. Her outfit looks stunning, she’s got effortless makeup on, along with perfectly curled hair. She says it “doesn’t take too long” but the truth is — it does.

✦ Who replies back in a second, due to the fact that doesn’t have anyone else in her messages other than the GC and one or two people. She’ll also stalk people’s accounts when she’s got nothing else to do, scrolling through the profiles with her cheek rested on her palm.

✦ Who regularly reads “Am I the Asshole?” on Reddit and will get too invested.

✦ Who is the watcher. She’s practically known everyone’s secrets and what they’ve been doing. She doesn’t even do it in a way that she wishes to bring people down, she just can’t help it.

Once she had accidentally overheard Karen talking to herself, mumbling about how she could feel someone.

The time when the gang played Monopoly she had the time of her life. She did see Reverend eating the pieces, she did see Arthur smuggling cash, and saw it all. But would she say something about it? No — they were about to set the table on fire; it was too entertaining. Then, the next moment, John had flipped the board in complete anger and wrath. That day, a war had started.

✦ Who has a mini fridge. It’s full of Pomegranate juice because somewhere she had read it helps skin glow. Her diet is usually healthy, with her cooking her meals herself — enjoying the process.

✦ Who listens to sad songs made by women. She’s got a whole playlist in Spotify filled with Lana del Rey. She will buy Spotify premium if that means she won’t get interrupted by ads every two songs. It pisses her off beyond measure.

✦ Who’ll gain thousands of likes from a single picture. She’ll post a selfie once and the next moment her phone will be bombarded by notifications — but none of them befriend her for the sake of being friends. She sighs.

Others

✦ Sadie, who’ll buy a motorcycle for chores and work, before realizing it has garnered much unnecessary attention — from mostly women. They’d wave at her and giggle amongst themselves. Sadie will flash ger wedding ring. “Sorry, ladies.”

✦ Susan, who, despite rarely using her phone, will occasionally tag the gang in text messages if they’ve done something wrong.

“@Arthur Morgan, I heard someone in a BLUE mustang yesterday went honking around the highway.”

Arthur will reply, still like a teen, “It wasn’t me. It must’ve been Micah going around.”

✦ Reverend, who’ll send voice mails in the GC about the constant danger of the world ending. Dutch will tell him to stay off the Morphine.

✦ Bill, who is constantly lurking on Twitter. He’ll get in a bunch of petty arguments and fall for one of Micah’s accounts. Then, he’ll get banned, as well.

✦ Trelawny, who is barely active, if he is at all. The gang will suddenly find out he’s been in California with his family and the other day went to Japan.

✦ When the gang went to the beach, John stayed out of the water and had to stay under the shade with the ladies.

✦ Micah was “complimenting” them and other women on the beach, though he ended up being reported to staff.

✦ Sean flaunted his nonexistent abs and got sunburnt.

[lonely-north-star]

@sheepthatgobaa wot's all this then

any of my friends could say any variation of "love you" and every time i short circuit for a second and blink at the screen like a system rebooting

[kameyyy]

PASSION; atsumu miya x reader

CHAPTER 2: consider yourself blessed

cw: ooc probably, mentions of yn, cursing, suggestive/suggestive humor, mentions of a knife, mentions of wanting to stab someone, use of "fatty" jokingly ofc, typos, ignore timestamps

a/n: a demon possessed me last night when i was supposed to be sleeping so yeah, idk this is like a BANGER post fr I have used my best messages and tweets frfr, hope you enjoy !!!!!

masterlist ; notes :

- yn's coworker came back from a small errand right after the last words they exchanged in chapter one - atsumu then got passed to the coworker and yn pretended to be busy while she was in fact tweeting and texting the gc - sakusa enjoyed the quiet time a lot when both hinata AND atsumu were out of the apartment - komoris bday is coming up ! - bokuto doesn't know why his nuggets suddenly were black (he got distracted watching slime videos that look like real food) - poor hinata was left ignored - and now one of y'all tell my WHY atsumu thought his brother was the better option and that osaamu would get him lol like bffr - yukie only recognized osamu because of his shop, she frequently goes there to eat because they have discounts pretty often - thats also why akaashi bought so many onigiris btw, he's a little broke - komori replied with his "oh wow I totally never expected this omg" because he knows it all from sunarins gossip - osamu met yn again before quite a few times when both were done at work, they talked normally and just exchanged some small talk

<3

- i'm begging you to mention your favorite tweets/messages to me, i really had some bangers here ok and i giggled writing them - lil dusty g, horny makki, akaashi at onigiri miya, komoris birthday present, omi can read, sigh was right & badum tzzz <- my favs

please consider leaving a like, reblog or follow if you enjoyed <3

taglist, open (comment here or send an ask);

throne of honor: @solzscribblez @wyrcan @heartmaddie @causenessus @hyunteru

@angeleilee @kawoala @vertejay @vitoshi @kang-ulzzang @hanadulsetaad @nobodybutnnoorr @pookalicious-hq @gigiiiiislife @fridaenpina @sahrii @sakusasbadger @solarvrse @evilari111

©kameyyy all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[homestuckreplay]

How Does Dave See John?

TG: dont talk to john anymore hes an impressionable doofus (p.1657)

Ever since reading Davesprite’s conversation with gallowsCalibrator where he chastises her for getting John killed, I’ve struggled to get it off my mind. There’s a few passing references in early acts, but Act 4 is the first time we’ve seen Dave talk extensively about John, with John not around – and he paints an interesting picture.

GC: SO JOHN 4CTU4LLY D1D WH4T 1 S41D? TG: yeah TG: im telling you TG: huge pushover TG: he will do what you say TG: unless it happens to be for his own good TG: then all a sudden hes a tough nut to crack go figure (p.1657)

In this chatlog, Dave hasn’t spoken to John for four months – before that, they likely spoke every day for years. That’s a big hole in Dave’s life, so of course he’s furious with the person who caused that. It makes sense, as well, that Dave’s opinions of John are overshadowed by that important final interaction, not by their day to day mutual teasing and goofing off.

Here, Davesprite sees John as someone he has to defend, and as someone who’s easily manipulated and not really capable of making his own decisions. Whether or not that’s actually true, it makes sense coming from someone who’s spent four grueling months mastering time travel and personal independence under life or death conditions, and pre-sprite future Dave expresses something similar when talking to Rose.

TG: i go back and tell john not to be an idiot and get trolled like such a gullible stooge (p.1643)

It’d be a fair interpretation to say that Davesprite’s hero complex is about wanting to save the whole timeline, all of his friends and maybe even the future of humanity, and John just happens to be the specific person who needs saving to accomplish that. However, I personally think this is about Dave’s feelings towards John specifically, and I have three different angles I want to briefly discuss this from: Dave’s birthday note, gender, and fan interpretations.

Dave’s Note.

A few pages after GC and Davesprite’s conversation, we see the note Dave included with John’s birthday package – most likely written in early April of 2009, a week or so before the kids play Sburb. Here’s about 2/3 of the note quoted in full.

i would suggest you put it somewhere and display it ironically but i know youre dead serious about this ridiculous shit so youll probably sleep with the damn thing and nibble its ear and stuff but the weird thing is thats whats cool about you. youre this naive guy like pinocchio tumbled ass backwards off the turnip truck and started liking ghostbusters. then the fairy godmother kissed your nose or some shit and you turned out to be not made of wood and also pretty cool to talk to. one day your gooberish ways are gonna land you in a jam and i know im going to have to get you off the hook but its cool i got your back bro. then we'll meet and hug bump and get each others filthy wife beaters that much filthier so yeah (p.1662)

Here’s the key points I’m getting from this.

Dave defines John by the differences between them.

The way Dave sees John is almost infantilizing; he definitely thinks John is more innocent than he is and less capable of taking care of himself.

Dave loves John so, so much, and he can’t help but express that, even when it contradicts his usual persona.

Irony versus sincerity is a big theme in John and Dave’s conversations dating back to Act 1, as is their respective opinions on pieces of media – usually things John likes and Dave doesn’t, with GameBro Magazine as a notable exception (p.26). Another theme is Dave’s ‘expertise’, with him often positioning himself as knowing more than John and flaunting his superior knowledge, like with their conversations about John’s sylladex and strife specibus (p.35).

In truth, Dave probably has more life experience than John. Bro certainly isn’t trying to keep him sheltered from anything, and Dave is constantly in dangerous situations and surrounded by adult content. He lives in a city, gets into fights, has partly raised himself, and probably hangs out in some weird corners of the internet. John’s life is hard in different ways – he’s a lot more sheltered, and he’s been allowed to have a longer childhood. Even their shared gifts reflect this. John gives Dave a gift that hides his face, makes him look older, shields him from a tough world, and was worn by an adult in a movie. Dave gives John a gift that’s typically given to a young child (Casey is around seven in Con Air) and represents vulnerability, softness, and a need for comfort.

Even if he doesn’t admit it, Dave might wish he’d had a childhood more like John’s. He wants John to have what he couldn’t, which might be why he tries to hide the weirdest things Bro does (and his own discomfort with them) from John. And he wants to use the combat skills he’s learning from Bro to protect someone, instead of hurt them. The love between them is defining and specific, and I actually do think that Dave would go further to protect John than he would to protect Rose or Jade, even though he cares about them a lot too. It’s difficult to find hard evidence for this – it’s really more of a feeling - but the closest I’ve got is that he sends Jade a signed Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff poster for her birthday, which isn’t even in the same league as the Con Air bunny.

There are definitely examples of Dave being naive and oblivious to the world, like when he’s telling himself he loves puppets and is totally chill with Cal, and there are examples of John being smart and intuitive, like when he starts to realize WV is controlling him and fights back. Those things are true of them as individuals, and are even visible in a fair few of their conversations (see p.287 for a great example) but when Dave talks about John, he leans really hard into their experienced/naive dichotomy. I think it’d be so interesting if, when they meet in person one day, they’re forced to confront these other sides of each other and put into a situation where John gets to be the one to take care of Dave and demonstrate his own capabilities.

--

Gender.

ok so that was all based on the text, now let’s talk headcanons and wild speculation: I think these kids might be transgender.

John, in Act 1 and 2, is characterized by detachment from his life, discomfort in his relationship with his father, and a strict, by the numbers understanding of certain trappings of ‘normal’ life. Dad leaves a piece of paper taped behind his safe, addressing John as ‘son’ and focusing on John’s strength and manliness (p.546). Dad himself is extremely strong, able to lift anything Jack Noir uses to keep him contained and fight the strongest Derse agents, and these are clearly the qualities he prizes in his son too. John also thinks that a ‘proper gentleman’ needs a monocle (p.27) and that a father needs a pipe (p.74), both of which are pretty weird and outdated ideas about masculinity which definitely come from old movies, not from actual deeply held beliefs.

John is also 100% capable of repressing very obvious parts of himself for a very long time, like with the clown graffiti on his walls (p.1001). So, distancing himself from being a man combined with obliviousness towards parts of his own mind makes it possible that John is a trans woman, and hasn’t figured this out yet. Worth mentioning also that John is the only kid to change his Pesterchum handle within the timeline of the story, and John later changing his name would be a very cool resonance.

Dave is more complex, and in a vacuum I think it’s possible to read his gender a few different ways – but it’s most interesting to me if he’s a trans man who came out and socially transitioned when he was a young child. It explains why he spends so much time online (it’s the place he can guarantee being stealth) and why he works SO hard to consciously construct his ironic persona, and works even harder to make it look effortless. Dave has always struck me as this person who’s constantly working twice as hard to keep up with what comes easily and naturally to others, and still not always getting it right. That applies to coolness, which he fails at because wearing sunglasses indoors isn’t actually cool, it applies to fighting, which he fails at when Bro kicks his ass every time even after years of training, and it applies to masculinity, where he’s constantly fighting against hitting puberty and how others perceive him when other boys around him don’t have to deal with any of that. And because he’s working so hard to pass and be accepted, Dave has definitely internalized some gender roles which aren’t that great, and leans way too hard into the ‘asshole teenage boy’ stereotype – like in his first conversation with adiosToreador (p.1099). It’s shitty for sure, but he also doesn’t have someone like John’s dad to be a better example of masculinity.

So I think Dave actively and intentionally buys into masculinity infinitely more than John does, and part of that is leaning into the ‘protector’ role when it comes to his friends. In this read, I don’t think either John or Dave consciously suspect anything about the other’s gender or trans status – but a real-world phenomenon that I and a lot of my friends have experienced is making queer friends while young and feeling a strong connection to them, despite not knowing each other is queer. Consciously, John and Dave think of each other as ‘best bros’ but there’s also an unconscious understanding that they share something deeper. Dave’s protectiveness of John extends to being ready to support and even physically defend John if and when he starts exploring gender, and John’s clear respect for Dave is partly because beneath the irony, Dave is taking the risk of expressing a very authentic part of himself in ways that John is currently not ready to.

As mentioned above, although they tease each other, a lot of their interactions are roughly built on this perceived dichotomy between John’s earnestness and whimsy versus Dave’s irony and impatience. So I think it’s interesting if the difference between them extends to being different genders, and is subverted by John being the one who’s actually putting up a front and Dave being the one who’s actually being himself. And, of course, their close friendship represents a shared trans solidarity.

--

Fan Interpretations.

I really like my interpretations here, but I’m not the only person reading this comic. On April 10, 2010, which of course is today, lots of people feel very differently. A lot of first-year Homestuck fans were also Problem Sleuth fans (or read it after catching up on Homestuck), and Problem Sleuth, plus a good number of other webcomics, don’t invite much complex character analysis. I’ve seen people shocked by the tone shift following ‘[S] Dave: Accelerate’, because they’ve never seen a webcomic kill two of its main characters, send two others to a dark timeline, and take those ideas seriously.

I have no way of knowing what’s discussed on the MSPA forums, but across multiple other forums, most people one-dimensionally see Dave as ‘cool’ and as someone to emulate, and John as ‘stupid’ and as someone to enjoy reading about but to feel superior to. In this way, they’re specifically leaning into Dave’s perceptions of both himself and John. Dave describes John as ‘gooberish’ in his note – a word that has never appeared in Homestuck before, but has definitely come up in forum discussions.

In sitcoms, it’s pretty common for characters to feel like real people in season one, but by season five, their most extreme and comedic traits are exaggerated while their more nuanced and human traits are suppressed. I think a lot of this comes from how viewers respond to these characters, and what becomes their ‘iconic’ moments in early seasons. That’s the case even with a lot of distance between writers and audience – in Homestuck, Hussie engages so much with fans and reads the MSPA forums in real time, so it’s likely that fan interpretations could influence in-comic characterization. This feels especially true now the cast of characters is expanding so much, which makes it harder to keep track of the complexities of each one.

Overall, I really love John and Dave’s existing dynamic, and how all the beta kids have been characterized so far. In all cases, there’s great groundwork for future character arcs. It’d be a real shame to see any of them become caricatures of themselves. And while I don’t think this is happening in a serious way yet, there are slight shifts in how they’ve been written over time. That could be their changing responses to situations in universe, or could be Hussie’s changing understandings of the characters, and either way I think it’s something to pay attention to. So despite the risk of ending this post on a negative note, I’m going to finish by putting these two interactions side by side.

EB: i do things ironically sometimes. EB: what about what i sent you for your birthday? TG: no those are awesome EB: what? no, they're stupid, which was the joke. the IRONIC joke. get it? EB: wait... EB: you're actually wearing them, aren't you? TG: im wearing them ironically TG: because theyre awesome TG: the fact that theyre ironic makes them awesome TG: and vice versa (p.110)

EB: yeah, of course! EB: there was no way i wasn't trying out this sweet ride. TG: god dammit what do i have to do to make you believe me TG: fist bump my future self til i got bloody knuckles and write you an even sappier bday note in my own blood TG: on a back to the future poster EB: relax, i'm not going through the gate! EB: i am just flying around, and having a good time in the sky. (p.1667)

[samiwok]

/SAMIWOK.2024/

🫧 ❛ LOVE LOTTERY ❜ ; iwaizumi x reader social media au

⁂ . . .GENRE !! modern, college au, minsunderstandings, childhood friends, hurt/comfort

⁂ . . .STARRING !! fem reader, iwaizumi, oikawa, matsukawa, hanamaki, atsumu, osamu, suna, sakusa

⁂ . . .NOTES !! cursing, might be written parts, taglist is always open, feel free to send an ask if you want to join!

* starting soon. updates once a week

✰ you told yourself three rules before entering university. one : you’ll focus more on your studies than you ever did. after all, now that your dream was so close you couldn’t allow yourself to ruin it all by lacking serious. two : you’d try to go towards others this year, your friends are not far, actually they’re with you and you know you can count on them but you need to meet new people. three : no love story. they never end well, and you can’t endure the pain caused by a broken heart. not again. but when on the very first day in tokyo national university, a familiar face appears right in front of you, it seems to be harder to respect your own rules.

oikawa & cie [ iwa gc ] ❖ [ y/n gc ] tsumu bully squad

ACT ONE !! … time has passed

✮ — 01. homesick ✮ — 02. no doubt it’s him ✮ — 03. what a face you have

. . . more to come

ACT TWO !! … yet these feelings never faded

. . . more to come

[lonely-north-star]

HELPPPP i miss y'all (or whatever!!)

@kelotalks @lonely-north-star , homophobic 💔