#personal and subjective

[moosekleenex]

common occurrences with #adhd

[ecoforesttreehills]

the new hakita tweet dispelling the title screen misinformation; I ask that you please rb this one instead of my earlier post, and don’t harass the original people who were qrt’d. they didn’t do anything and the tweet was not in reference to them

[babykittenteach]

No but fr having an indigenous family broken up for its own good by the state and one of them leave her homeland to go get a Real Education is not just counter to the original story's characterization, it's not just erasing the colonialism commentary for the sake of failed feminism presumably based on the girlboss objection to portraying women as caretakers and the classist objection to blue collar jobs, it is an act of colonialism.

It is in fact so ridiculously an act of colonialism that it should come off as such to anybody able to think about media critically for a few moments, but to anybody familiar with what the US did to many indigenous peoples via the faux benevolence of boarding schools, including to native hawaiians, it's fucking revolting.

Like, shoutout to removing Pleakley's gender exploration, to removing the cop villain in lieu of just having the mad scientist remain one, to removing some of Cobra Bubbles's nuance, to removing commentary on race and colonialism, etc etc, but mainly: this did a colonialism.

[wigglybunfish]

Welcome to Preservation! we have nice people and even nicer murderbots.

[noknowshame]

always a fun time when real life people are doomed by their own narratives. like guys you know it doesn’t have to be like this right? this isn’t a stageplay the foreshadowing isn’t real until you make it real

[zukkacore]

Second Place episode of Gamechanger feat the Aguefort staff aka Aguefort heaven is Porter hell. It’s a very efficient system

Bonus:

[9151967]

Jim Kirk + Loneliness in Star Trek: The Original Series

Dagger of the Mind, The Conscience of the King, This Side of Paradise, And The Children Shall Lead, Requiem for Methuselah, Mark of Gideon

[rawme-price]

A small pt 3 of food aggressive simon and reader :)

it was meant to be a joke, youre sure, but its a cruel sort of thing to joke about.

you and simon are in the gym, hes sparing with some other soldiers and ur on the treadmill. you dont work out often, it brings back unpleasant memories, but its too damn hot out to walk right now and youve been feeling restless. thus, treadmill and eavesdropping on simon. its been months since ur new lunch sharing tradition started, and youd like to consider him a friend.

which makes it all the worse when you hear "damn ghost, i dont remember you being this big. maybe we should keep an eye on those lunches, eh?"

simon doesnt react, but you have to catch urself from eating shit on the treadmill when u froze, horrified. you suddenly really dont want to exercise, and although no one else can see it youve learned to recognize the subtly tensing of muscles along ghosts back. you stride over, lips pursed, and gently lay a hand on ghosts forearm "hey, you ready to go? i need to get those papers turned in."

you dont ask if he's alright, it would be pointless.

except, next lunch, its like all the progress you made is out the window. hes hunched over, shoveling food into his mouth, warily glancing at you every second. you purse your lips, not reaching for him but wanting to help. "simon," he doesnt react, "simon, stop for a second." you try again, hand coming to rest on the table, but not straying close. still, he flinches away, taking the plate too.

"simon, im not gonna take your food." you say, direct and pointed. you cant afford to dance around the subject with him. "im serious. can you just look at me? tell me if i did anything to make you anxious? did...did i accidentally hurt you?"

his eyes widen, sitting up straight "no! no its not-" he rushes out, pausing to sort his thoughts. "i just. you heard what they said." he finally settles on, you know exactly who hes talking about. "i thought...youd probably agree. i know i take too much."

you let out a pained whine, unable to stop it, and simon finally looks at you. your vision blurs with tears, but you reach out to cup his face anyways "simon. listen to me. you are never too much, you hear me? you deserve to eat as much as you want. you deserve to enjoy your food." youre properly crying now, overwhelmed. "you deserve to feel safe, okay?"

simon doesnt look away, but his face scrunches up and he nods. "...okay." you nod, a thumb coming out to wipe away a tear from his cheek. "i mean it, simon. food isnt something you earn, its not something people can take from you. you deserve it, and anyone who says otherwise i will personally beat the shit out of."

that earns a chuckle, simon glances away, picks his plate up, and slowly takes a bite. "...as if you could." he retorts, trying (and failing) to subtly wipe his tears.

"for you? i could do it easily" you retort.

[milkhorns]

Quality bro time 🌱💅

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Out of sight, out of - wait.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sm64mario]

huh?

[soldrawss]

I uh, started this as a little wholesome thing but it QUICKLY got out of hand, anyway part 2 here.

[raventreehall]

sometimes when you guys discuss who is the REAL younger more beautiful queen you sound exactly like cersei. it's no one and it's everyone. it's the idea of a younger more beautiful queen simply existing. cersei thinks it's sansa, then thinks it's margaery, and it is. because cersei's crazy paranoid brain has done the work for her. the ymbq as a figment of her imagination has actually cast her down and taken all she holds dear.

[bixels]

As cameras becomes more normalized (Sarah Bernhardt encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use cameras because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by manufacturing companies. I paint not because I want a painting but because I love the process of painting. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.

if i have to explain to you that using a camera to take a picture is not the same as using generative ai to generate an image then you are a fucking moron.

[vantabone]

Canto 8 Spoilers!

TW: SA/CSA, Grooming and familial, emotional abuse.

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A small analysis on Hong Lu's Story as a Metaphor for SA/CSA

I’d like to preface this with if I come off as insensitive or offensive, I sincerely apologize. I'll delete this if need be. Feel free to correct me on anything. Of course, feel free to disagree as well. This is just my own reading into the story. It's not supposed to be "the canon or right" way of interpreting it.

I'm fully aware that this could be entirely unintentional on PM's part, but the beauty of stories is finding your own interpretation of the words gifted to you. Please be civil!

If you find yourself feeling unwell while reading through this, please close out for your own mental safety.

I believe that Hong Lu's backstory can be read as SA. I don't think I'm alone in this as I've seen others mention it too, but I’d like to talk about my main points on why I believe this: his objectification, his abject grooming by Jia Mu, and how he reacts during and after, as well as the circumstances around it.

A question you might ask is: why this topic? Couldn't this be applied to other types of abuse too? The answer is yes! It can! But the imagery of the cuckoospawns, its wordings, and how Hong Lu acts afterwards is a direct result of that incident and recontextualizes his behavior. The inherent horror of the loss of bodily autonomy, the imagery violent creatures rising from one's own body, the silencing of the victim and its specific wording leads one to think in that direction. So I will be going that direction.

Hong Lu is heavily objectified. In his IDs and even before his canto itself, this is one of the things we know about him. He’s described as a “gem of a child” (Liu Hong Lu uptie story), “a precious jade that must be kept within the deepest coffers” (Qingtao) and during the flashbacks, everyone else around him either praises him or scorns him for his upbringing without thinking about how it affects him emotionally. The first scene where the shadows close in on him while he hears about how they whisper is obviously a sign that this is something he’s distressed about.

The elders themselves literally use him as a source of their entertainment. This objectification is one of the main reasons why he believes he has no bodily control over himself.

To be clear, Jia Mu was absolutely grooming him. One of the main tactics abusers will use is to isolate their victims from people who could support them, and when Baoyu shared how scared he was to Xiren, Jia Mu immediately had her lobotomized. This reinforced the belief in his mind that if he were to speak about this to anyone, bad things would befall them too. This is also a common thinking pattern that SA victims have, particularly the ones that have suffered familial abuse.

Familial abuse especially is tricky because it affects everyone. Some family members would even tell the victim not to report the abuse because it could “ruin” their family by tearing it apart. The weight of the emotional turmoil falls once again to the victim, adding more stress to an already traumatizing situation.

As Jia Mu is the family hierarch and him as a child, there is already a clear power imbalance there that Hong Lu will never be able to escape anything she makes him do. Jia Mu knows he’s a kind and gentle child. Someone who would try his best to save a person suffering. Someone who believes he could befriend even the people who speak ill of him. That boy would never willingly put anyone in harm’s way. She uses this as leverage to ensure that he would never talk to anyone about his circumstances again and to continue her abuse over him.

During the lab scenes we’re treated to how he continues to be forced even though he pleads he doesn’t want to. He begs anyone to help him, but Jia Mu even goes as far as taking away his only source of support: Xiren. In the end, what breaks him is his sole confidant rehashing the same words that sends him unbearable fear: to be silent and keep watching. He pushes away Daiyu, who is the only other person that notices his change of heart. A sign of trauma is pushing away the people that care about you as well as the isolation abuse tactic in full display. He now forces himself into the mold of what Jia Mu wants him to be. Because if he does this, then it’ll hurt less. Because this is what they tell him to do. He forces himself to be more palatable to his abuser.

Now, the incident. When he tries to stop people from going inside the venue, they don't believe him. He can't explain why out of fear. They laugh, ridicule or get mad at him for saying nonsense. This also mirrors the way victims are treated: are you sure it really happened? You're ruining someone's reputation. You don't even have any proof. Are we supposed to believe you? They're a good person, they would never do that. They do not take his cries for help seriously. Baoyu trying to help was also his own cry for help. That if they listened to him, maybe his choices do matter.

Second, I believe it’s no coincidence that it has implicit sexual violence, in my opinion. They did not go into details into how the cuckoobirds reproduce exactly, but their choice of wording is very intentional: “high level of fertility”, “reproductive abilities”, and “the glint of hunger when it’s reproductive instincts kicked in”. It is supposed to invoke that type of imagery within you without actually saying what went on. That’s part of the horror. So then, it should be easy to guess what it means for Hong Lu to have witnessed all of that unwillingly.

To preface I'm not saying he was assaulted himself. However, the things he witnessed also counts as SA because this was done to him against his well. I think it's an important distinction that there are different types of SA as well.

He was forced to watch people used as a breeding ground for the cuckoospawns. And even if they were not, these were things bursting out of people's bodies and wombs. There's a lack of bodily control for everyone imvolved. That's incredibly violating to imagine. Baoyu was only a child, too.

This is how he reacts after it all: dissociation, self-hatred and a deep, deep desire to be heard and comforted by anyone. It was vile. It was extremely violating. All he wished was someone to please help him, because this was something that never should have happened.

“After today, nothing good will ever happen to me again.” this was the line that made me go, oh.. Baoyu.. :(... And what fueled me to think about how exactly I was reading the canto. Not going into details, but this was a line that struck me personally. When something that violating happens to you, you just feel... I don't think I could describe how empty it makes you feel. But it really does feel like nothing good will happen to you again, because that traumatizing experience will always weigh down on you no matter what.

He buries his flowers-- his emotions and conscience, his free will and choices, and most importantly himself-- in a way that he won't have to watch as they wither. They will still be as "clean" and pure as they ever were, like what happened to him never happened at all. This is a common pattern among victims of SA, especially children. When someone has been assaulted, they think they've been dirtied by the experience and will never be "clean" again. This is a tangent but I personally don't like this perception because no matter what happened to someone, I don't think they've been "dirtied" at all. It was never their fault to begin with.

The elders as well have an obsession for him to stay a pristine jade. Impervious to anything beneath him like despair, fear, and agony.

Here are some other points I couldn't fit in above:

- When Jia Huan exclaimed he knew the reason why Baoyu was depressed, he reacted with fear. But when Jia Huan went on to say it was because of Daiyu, you could actually see his face slowly fall too. Whether it was disappointment or relief, but I think it was because he wanted someone to understand his situation without him having to say it out loud.

- (credit to user lyrecross for noticing this) Hong Lu shares the same "emphasis on the stomach area which is either wounded, open or binded" imagery across his EGOs. It's intriguing and sad how he shares the theme with the woman who was undeniably violated the most in this canto, Kong Sihui, who had her baby eaten by a creature which then burst out of her womb.

I'd like to point out his effervescent corrosion EGO: oysters create pearls because it's their body's natural defence against parasites entering their shell or to damage to their fragile shell. His corrosion line is this, too: “Filth nests inside me... So that they may be reborn as something useful.” This one's more or a stretch but the pearl's positioning also looks like a pregnant woman's belly. (I guess the entire clam opening is the stomach though)

The only exception to this trend is Soda Hong Lu which has the corrosion ego line “The seagulls... They keep crying and screaming away..!” and his base ego.

- DOTRC also had very blatant themes of sexual assault because it was about the misogyny women faced during that time. I interpret the original Jia Baoyu as also a victim of CSA, because even if its the time period, children having sex is pretty.. yeah. I'm glad to see they didn't leave this particular theme behind, even if they weren't that faithful to the original novel.

If you managed to read this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day to do so! And please be kind. Hong Lu is one of my favorite ever characters and I'm a big fan of the direction PM took with him. It might have been unintentional, but it was nontheless written well. Please share your thoughts with me, as long as it's polite!

[joenateuser]

The Substance (2024) dir. Coralie Fargeat