#personal posts are personalish

[paniks-girl]

ALLI AND KASHIF KINDA SPOKE TODAY??? LIKE I BOUGHT THOSE GREEN HEADPHONES I STOLE OFF THE PLANE IN BANGLADESH N CALLED GIRLYPOP AFTERSKL CUZ HE DIDNT GO SCHOOL (and I just like. rlly like when he's involved in my life/hearing abt my day in any way or form omg) N THEN ME N KASHIF SHARED THE HEADPHONES AND THEY LOWKEY SPOKE TO EACHOTHER AND SHDHJAJXHWW BRO INSIDE I WAS SCREAMINGGG (especially cuz alli's voice was so flustering like omgomg she sounded kinda dead and her voice was kinda low and I just- omgg please)

[cicadidae6]

INFO POST!!

(just some stuff to know abt me and my blog)

☀️—————————♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)—————————☀️

🥮 | – about me

—you can call me cyd or cicada

—im 14 (so scary!!!😨😨😰😰)

—i go by he/him prns

—im a demiboy omnisexual

—im an entp

—my current interests are invincible, epic the musical, mythology, journey to the west, lego monkie kid, alien stage, and omniscient reader's viewpoint

—im very impulsive and forgetful so if i did something that offended u PLS dont take it personally😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏 I DONT MEAN ANY HARM I PROMISE

—im 🇵🇭🇨🇳, i can speak fil and eng and im learning german

—i like beetles and snails but my friend doesnt..,(⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)

🥮 | – about my blog

—art blog? but kinda personalish too

—i dont have a dni go do whatever u want on my blog cus i'll most likely block u if ur problematic, also dnis are kinda useless tbh cus ppl are REALLY stubborn..

🥮 | – art stuff

—im not taking any comms rn

—programs i use for art is ibispaint x for mobile and paint tool sai for laptop and xp pen

—youre allowed to repost my art without credits, use it for pfps, banners, and edits. but dont claim my art as ur own or use it for merchandise or commercial purposes without my permission

—i might upload some art with gore so watch out for that if ur sensitive

🥮 | - kin list🤫🤫🤫 theyre mostly entps lmaoao

—sun wukong

—hermes

—amato

—no goggles mark

—rio ranger

—miiko takeshita

.

.

anyways

CICADIDAE6 OUT

[queer-quester]

Personalish? Wild Life SMP thoughts/realisation

(mostly here for my own sake tbh)

Finally realised that I'm low-key being triggered by the Shinyduo + Scott and Cleo interactions in wild life due to my own personal shit and that's the reason I keep reacting badly to the 'toxic yuri' everyone else is loving 😅

I think? it took me longer to properly consider it because I usually rlly enjoy toxic wlw relationships in fiction and I loved Gem and Pearl's whole vibe in Secret Life (and ship the characters generally). So I figured there must be something wrong with the way the CCs were approaching it, and I was feeling quite uncomfortable and honestly hostile towards their characters. But no, it's just me having irrational emotional reactions to these specific character dynamics in WL that my brain is no doubt magnifying anyways.

I think imma just have to make sure I take a step back from their character/dynamic anaylsises and ship content for this season, and maybe spread out watching their perspectives so I don't get too into it.

I don't know why I made this into a post, I'm fairly new to the fandom so it's unlikely anyone would've been paying attention to my slight weirdness with their wild life content. I think I mostly just needed it written down as a reminder to myself to fuckin chill xD

[jadevalentine-writes]

Writing (and life) update.

Hi ya'll.

It's been a hot minute. Although I know I have no reason to do this, I'm going to anyway to help me. I know I don't owe fandom anything, so again, this is a bonus for my readers.

This year has sucked. Majorly. From January until now. I know other folks have it worse, but I've been off-axis all year.

Most of it has been because my finances have been strapped as I've had to support my mother heavily for most of the year. So that hasn't been great. Sure, I had the money to spare, in theory, but it's not how I want to live my life, consulting my bank account every time I need to do anything. Again - I know - others have it worse, but what is a blog if not a space to complain? Diaries have never been my thing, anyway.

Outside of that, it's like every other turn goes sideways too. The cats had to be separated, luckily within the same home, but we had to live and clean-up cat piss for like a month before that. The problem still isn't solved, but may be in the next few months. We had to spend a large amount of cash for a roof repair that was not planned on top of house repairs that were already committed too. I was rear-ended last week and was kindly reminded I have a huge deductible (the high cost of low monthly insurance). Also the person who hit me was shady AF and presented me with expired insurance so...not a lot of hope of them paying for the damage. See Point 1 above for why that's annoying. Luckily my husband is supportive in more ways than one. Also my high limit credit cards may be getting a work out as a result.

And hey, COVID is raging again/still, but that's all background noise, right? And at least my job is going alright and I'm still employed, so things could be much much worse.

All that in perspective, having the spoons to write are far and few in between. Yes, all current WIPS will be finished...eventually. But the things above have obviously been a distraction.

Also...I may or may not be addicted to Destiny 2 and recently found a canonically gay pairing in the lore...so...oops lol I didn't want to write about anything Destiny related...but they have forced my hand. Hoping to rid of that brain worm before returning to danmei hell again.

Although I haven't received any messages or comments about it, I just wanted to say something about my lack of updates, if only to make me feel better.

Until next time.

-Jade

[those70scomics]

Life Update: Good news!

The untenable situation I unexpectedly found myself in -- I’ll be free from it at the end of October (unless life decides to eff with me some more 👀). So huzzah! I still have six weeks to cope with this ... more-than-unpleasantness, but now that I know it’s temporary, relief is the beginning of what I feel.

This means, however, that facilitating T7S Halloween 2k21 is going to be tough. It’ll probably be a little different-y (in terms of organization), but it will be done.

Thank you again for all the support! It has helped a lot -- and continues to help. I appreciate all of you so much. ❤️

[thebearsfrombeartown]

My grandma just called me to ask for a book rec and this is the moment I’ve been waiting for!!! Someone literally asking me to tell them a good book to read. Naturally I told her to read Beartown (and then Us Against You obviously) and she immediately went and bought it on her kindle and I cannot wait for her to finish it so I have someone in real life to talk to about these beyond amazing books!

And then, when she loves it, which she no doubt will, she’ll tell all her old lady friends to read it to! And when my mother and sister ask her for a book rec she’ll tell them to read Beartown (because obviously no one listens to my opinions and recommendations but if it comes from good old Nana then it must be good 🙃) and they will. And more and more people will come into the light and read Beartown and fall in love with Benji Ovich and maybe some of them will have tumblrs and join the fandom and be talented artists and writers and will want to put their skills towards creating Beartown content and then I’ll finally have Benji Beartown fanart and fanfics and metas and people to scream with

[dykecadence]

Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Graphic Novels/Manga $3500

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me with this. my family is dying

[fatui-harbingers]

.

[forgottencartoons]

TL:DR if food/dieting/weight loss/diet culture is something you need to avoid for yourself you can blacklist “courtney diet rambles” and keep it off your dash 

 So I started a diet again. I started a diet with the intent to do this for six whole months, and hopefully lose 30+ pounds in that time frame. If I lose less than that but end up in better shape, I’ll still be pleased.

My goal is not a set weight, but a clothing size range. I want to be able to shop in any store without having to worry if they’ll carry something in a big enough size for me for the first time in my adult life.

I looked in the mirror and realized two things about my body. One: I was behaving like my mental health (which has been in an ABYSMAL place the last eight months or so) was fully in control of me and my body. Two: I was getting bigger every week and soon, even the worn out, thighless leggings I’ve been running around in for the last five years would be digging into me.

Separate from my body itself, I realized that as I’ve gained weight, I’ve given up on dressing nicely at all. Part of that was my mental state, part was my financial state, and part was that looking at my body in what I did own, I felt like I was putting lace on a linebacker unless I had a decent cleavage. Which I can’t do in a work environment.

So I’m on a diet, going to bed hungry every night, and getting grouchier by the day. Today I almost had ANOTHER mental breakdown over a baking project gone wrong, and only called down once a piece of pretzel was actually in my mouth. Thing is, with my TLE having a low blood sugar trigger, I’m having to completely rewire my eating habits so that my grouchiness doesn’t become seizures. Especially since the nearest actual neurologist is like 2 hours away from me.

I’m gonna be using my tumblr kinda like a venting place while I’m dieting bc I’m keeping this more or less a secret from people in my day-to-day life. I really do not need anyone’s “encouragement.” But with a skinny mom being the only person to talk to and paper journals just being wholly unappealing, this is what I’m doing.

[flyinghetfield]

how did you get into Metallica? share your story :)

I found them by chance. I was up late one night, pulling an “Oh my god, I’ve done no study for 6 months and I need to hand everything in in 3 days” session and the way that helps me study/concentrate is to listen to music. Now by this stage, I wasn’t really listening to music, I had it on just as background noise or I was just listening to whatever was appearing on the radio/ Whatever people were recommending to me. I mean, I listened to Rock and a little bit of Metal because of my brother but I never found that one band that really made me just stop and pay attention. Until that night.I threw on the Rock/Metal playlist and was sitting on my bed, writing frantically away, kicking my past self when this song came on.I was so confused.So confused.“Classical music? What is this?” Jumping up from my bed, I walked over to my phone and was about to hit skip when the first few cords of the guitar came through and it literally froze me. I had never heard something so aggressive, tense just balls to the wall come out of my speakers. I remember sitting down and just taking it all in. When the song was done, I remember grabbing my phone and looking at the song & artist, thinking ‘Who is this amazing, upcoming band?” (ahaaa)“Fight fire with fire… Metallica? Wait… St.anger Metallica? Enter sandman Metallica?” Yes by this stage, the only songs I knew from Metallica were; Enter sandman, St.anger and One. 3 very different songs from them.And I just couldn’t get fight fire out of my head, so being me, I completely ignored my studying, stayed up till 3 in the morning listening to; Kill em all, Ride the lightning, Master of Puppets, AJFA, Black album.The next day I went and brought those albums and it’s been a downward spiral ever since.

[jadedzer0]

Ugh cannot wait to get stabbed repeatedly with a needle tonight so I can relax. My focus will be fleeting until then.

[dungeons-and-dumbies]

Photo of my blog:

[wanderingthroughwickford]

I’m watching Finding Dory and while there’s been a lot said about the scene where she finds out her parents are gone & how well it mirrors a real-life panic attack, I can also really relate to the scene afterwards, when she’s in the kelp forest and is trying to calm herself down. The way she keeps repeating simple statements (I see [x], I like [x], [x] is good, etc.) really reminds me of my own thought process when trying to recover after an anxiety attack and it just. makes me feel things 

[jadevalentine-writes]

It Is Time

I have finally signed up for NaNoWriMo. Life is crazy right now. What better time than to try and write a novel?

I am on there as JadeValetine. Come and check out excerpts and word count of my first attempt, "Spine of Steel", a personal tribute and satire of my mother's crazy, and ever unpredictable life.

Until next time.

-JV

[those70scomics]

Life Update: Wish I could say all is well. It was supposed to be. It almost was. Could have started getting back to “normal” starting this week. Now all that’s been blown to hell.

An element that I wasn’t informed about, an element that I should have been informed about before all this started (sorry to be vague), shot a cannonball through my life on Friday. It’s very likely going to cause me to go back to “the beginning” -- and I have no idea if a good solution truly exists. (This isn’t medical or mortally life-threatening; so no need to get scared about that.)

I will interact on here as best / as much as I can for my own sanity. But I fear what I must go through (again and perhaps worse than the first time) will give me even less actual time and emotional-mental space to take part in what I love so dearly: this fandom and all of you who participate in it.

Many of you know how much I hate talking about my personal life on here. I especially hate that I’m exposing my turmoil publicly (although vaguely). I don’t think any of that should be part of my blog, but I also see it as unavoidable right now. I’ve been through plenty of hellish moments in my life during my time in this fandom (as I’m sure you all have), but this one is beyond the beyond (for me, at least).

I’ve had to let go of so much because of my situation. I don’t want to lose this very important part of my life, either -- of the last eleven-plus years -- because of my currently limited participation. This is essentially why I’ve been making these life update posts (and this post in particular).

Friends I chat with in private here, please / feel free to message me. I will get back to you as time and mental-emotional space allow. I’ll be less vague with you in private.