#personally i split each pairing into a document bc i can keep my shared notes about dynamics and lore etc

[sheonvinyl]

the snl standby line ~experience~

um. wow.....

so i’m making this post mostly for myself and to have a documentation of these memories while its all still pretty fresh in my brain, but i figured i would share it on here too just in case anyone wanted to read it or chat about it all w me. (side note: if u were in the line too PLS hit me up we MUST discuss)

basically, long story short is my friend and i slept on the streets of nyc for three nights in below freezing degree weather, got standby tickets for the live show and were able to get in......like i was THERE. for the snl LIVE taping. 

feel free to keep reading below the break if you want an extremely detailed description of the whole ordeal and my personal experience that no one asked for dsjkhfksdjh

to be frank our journey did not start out as we had originally planned lmao. when harry announced that he was doing double duty my friend and i immediately were like. let’s start planning bc we’re 100% going. that resulted in a lot of amazon prime orders and reading up on blogs about tips and tricks in order to plan. we were trying to gauge how far in advance we were going to have to get in line in order to have a good chance. we got a lot of our info from a twitter account/blog run by these three women who have been to every show this season and been in the standby line every week so we trusted their advice. they have been so many times that they apparently have a relationship with the security ppl and are in contact with them. and obviously since it was harry this week, there was a lot more buzz about it and higher stakes of actually getting a ticket. people had been tweeting about lining up on MONDAY in order to be in the front of the line. this account reached out to people and nbc and said that security didn’t want anyone lining up before thursday and if people did, they would be asked to leave and not allowed to get back in line again. finding this out made us panic a bit bc we didn’t want to get thrown out for breaking the rules or anything like that. we originally decided to finish up our days at our internships on wednesday, head back to our apartment, gather up all our supplies and head to 30 roc around 10 so that we could be ready to get in line at midnight aka when it would officially be thursday. 

however, when i woke up wedensday morning amidst all the news about harry’s tour dates etc. there was an update that there were ~20ish people in line already. and that set us into a panic. we were confused if they were going to be thrown out or not bc they lined up before thursday, but periodically as we checked throughout the day security didn’t seem to be doing anything about it. so we made the decision to get to the line as quickly as possible after work. not sure i’ve ever moved faster in my life than i did when i got home and immediately threw anything i thought would be remotely useful into my duffle bag. the state of my room right now? despicable.

we make it to the line a little bit after 8 pm and after an initial assessment, we were around #70-80 in line. and based on that, we decided to stay and set up camp bc we thought our chances were pretty good. (for reference: when the standby tickets were handed out on saturday morning, we were 86th and 87th in line so the number definitely fluctuated based on when people counted us and people maybe being in the bathroom during the count etc.)

everyone around us in line was super super super nice and the ppl we met thru it will def be homies for life. we went through too much together not to be bonded for life ksjdhfksdh. shout out to aisha @teafull​ specifically !!!! we really did that luv......miss u and kristina already babes xoxoxox

wednesday night was definitely the worst sleeping-wise. our set up originally was a waterproof tarp on the ground and then a yoga mat that my friend used as a bed and then our two camping chairs next to the yoga mat. for the first night, i slept in the camping chairs using one to sit in and having my legs propped up on the other one. we each had two blankets and were wearing more layers than i could ever count. we bought a shitton of feet warmers, toe warmers and hand warmers in preparation, but we didn’t really get the hang of using them until the second and third night lol. i woke up probably every hour and a half on wednesday night bc i was either uncomfortable or just so unbearably cold. every time i woke up i made sure to move my toes around bc i was so paranoid i was going to get frostbite lmao. 

thursday was better. we actually got the hang of the hand and feet warmers!! we figured out that if we were wearing shoes they didn’t really work because they were being suffocated and they needed to be in open air to work properly. they worked exponentially better if we didn't wear shoes bc they were exposed to the cold air and heated up really well so that’s a useful piece of information out of this i guess?? sdjhkds. at this point i think there were about 150 people in line. the line wrapped from the back of the nbc building on 6th ave/avenue of the americas around to w 48th street as far as the nintendo store which ends right at the today show plaza (and it got even longer over the next two days). 

one of the worst things about the whole experience would probably have to be the incessant comments from passerbys on the street. they would look at us and speak about us as if we weren’t there. they would also film or take photos of us in the LEAST discreet ways possible which was very irritating. and made me feel like a literal zoo animal on display. i heard comments like “they know the show is on SATURDAY right?”, “they’re doing all of this for that one guy from one direction?”, “do your parents know you’re doing this?”, “you’ve got to be kidding me”, “they’re going to freeze to death for not even a guaranteed ticket to see this guy” and by far the absolute worst one and most offensive thing i heard, “they’re like the modern day homeless”. i could go on a whole separate tangent about this because it makes me so FUCKING angry, but i was very close to confronting some people because of the impeccably inconsiderate, insensitive and blatantly classist comments people were making straight to our faces. additionally some people in line were being harassed by people from radio stations (or people posing as employees of radio stations) that clearly had the agenda of making it seem like fans of harry are dumb and unaware of world issues etc. you can read a more well-written and detailed account about it all on aj’s blog here. but i’ll reiterate that they definitely chose the wrong group to mess with!! the issue was dealt with in record time and i’m proud of and thankful for all the people who stood up to that asshole and put him in his place. he deserved it.

i slept the best on thursday night into friday. probably because i finally had the common sense to buy GLOVES (someone lmk why i thought it was okay to come without them ??? ) as well as buy an extra blanket at a barnes and noble nearby. one of my roommates was also kind enough to bring me her yoga mat and two extra pairs of pants to add to my layers. those two extra layers 100% made a difference. not much happened in the line on friday besides a little bit of drama between a couple of girls at the front of the line who apparently left for 10+ hours that day and (to my knowledge) weren’t kicked out of the line. i don’t want to speak too much on it because i wasn’t directly involved in any of it and only heard it by word of mouth. however, i will say i think there was definitely some suspicious activity from some people that were in line who were for example, using lawn chairs (which are specifically prohibited on the snl webpage) and abusing their break times. 

at 7 pm on friday, the line was shifted so that the beginning of it started at the doors to the nbc studio. i think they do this mainly so that the pages who hand out the standby tickets have easier access to the line? but i’m not positive. our new area was now on 6th ave, smack dab in front of the rear end of 30 roc, basically where the line had originally started. with the amount of people in line (probably around 200 or so at this point on friday) it STILL wrapped around to west 48th even after the shift. and then not even 20 minutes after they moved us was when snl interns came down with CARTS of slices of WATERMELON and CHERRIES !!!!!!! when i tell you i lost it.....

i didn’t get a good picture of the cherries but you get the idea. one of the interns giving us info about what was going on said that harry “was very specific about giving you guys cherries and watermelon” sjkdfhksdjh. and because of his previous behavior w the kiwis i was like....well he’s not playing watermelon sugar then we’re just going to have to prepare for something else. and let me tell you, i have never been more happy to be wrong in my entire LIFE. 

additionally, a couple of men, who i believe worked for snl or nbc, came around with carts of soup for all of us. they didn't confirm or deny that harry sent them (which makes me think he probably didn’t), but the two options were either chicken and sausage or split pea. yes, that’s correct. SPLIT. PEA. when they told me that, i shrieked in their faces, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING” and they just looked at me so weirdly and go, “......no? like which one do you want......” skdjhfkjsdh. they definitely thought i was absolutely off my rocker (which i certainly was, but that’s besides the point). i’m pescatarian so i chose split pea, and if there’s one thing to know about me it’s that i absolutely ABHOR peas, but i ate it anyway. i had to use all of the oyster crackers as well as some pretzel crisps that i brought with me as a snack in order to make it bearable LMAO. however, regardless of if harry sent it himself, it was a really nice gesture and i’m thankful that they were kind enough to provide us with some food. the snl staff also sent down hot chocolate and coffee and pizza over the course of the three days which was very much appreciated as well!

we were a lot less separated in our new spot on 6th ave so everyone in line was able to hang out with each other a lot more which as really fun!! a girl near us had brought cards against humanity and a group of 7 of us played for what felt like over an hour or so which was really good time. aisha won and no, i am not salty about it at all !!!!!1!1!11!11!!!! 

it was really difficult to sleep that night as well because we were on a much busier road with a lot more lights. it also felt colder and windier despite windscreens that staff put up around our barricades (see the poor quality pic of my friend and i with one of them below LOL). i think everyone was really on edge for the next morning so i’m sure that didn’t help with sleeping either. we settled down to go to bed a little past midnight and i woke up at least three times throughout the night to readjust my blankets and sleeping position or check the time.

finally saturday morning came. my friend had to shake me awake at 6:30 am bc i was finally able to doze off again, but the panic in me immediately activated and i was UP and ready to go. we still hadn't come to a full decision on if we were going to choose dress rehearsal or live yet so we were definitely on edge. we basically wanted to wait until the pages came to us and ask them how many people chose live vs. dress so that we could choose the show we were more likely to get into. however, deep inside i know that we both desperately wanted tickets to the live show. we had been keeping track of other people who were farther up in the line via their socials and seeing what they were choosing too. surprisingly (at least to me), a lot of people ahead of us decided to choose dress rehearsal rather than live. in theory, it makes sense because you’d hopefully get to see more sketches that might get cut for time as well as “spend more time” w harry. my friend and i (who is probably the biggest snl fan on the planet, no lie) would’ve been happy with either, but we both definitely wanted to witness the show that everyone else was going to watch on tv. 

when the pages got to us we found out that it was basically split 50/50. an equal amount of people decided to do live vs. dress. for either show we chose, we would’ve been in the 40s for our standby ticket number. and because of that, we decided to SEND IT and sign up for tickets for the live show (and partly because all our friends in line were also sending it w the live show too!!!). we were tickets #41 and #42 and we honestly felt really really good about it, but we didn’t want to discuss it too much or get our hopes up in the event that it didn’t end up working out. 

after that, the actual standby line experience was basically over. we IMMEDIATELY grabbed all our stuff and ubered back to our apartment. our roommates were already up and they greeted us with lights up blasting through our alexa akjhfkdfh. saturday was also conveniently my university’s homecoming weekend, and as seniors in college, my friend and i felt that it was important for us to go. i won’t go into too much detail about it bc that’s not really the point of this whole post, but my friend and i REALLY had ourselves a DAY on saturday. i actually don’t know how we pulled this off. we ended up showering for probably 40 minutes each to scrub the grime off our body and then day drank from 11:30 to maybe 5 pm........like??? whomst???? luckily, i was able to squeeze in a nap before we had to start getting ready for check in at 10 pm back at 30 roc, but i was 110% hungover when i woke up. 

we got to 30 roc at around 9:30 and were told to go to the nbc store to check in. from there they cross-checked the name on your ID and name on your ticket and then lined you up in order based on your ticket number. i don’t think i realized how many people actually ended up lining up for the standby line until we were there....people had ticket numbers all the way up #267 or something. that’s CRAZY!! after a bit of waiting (maybe half an hour?) a security guy came out and told us that they were going to starting bringing the group up into the corridor and get the process moving. he made it clear that this wasn’t a guarantee to get in. the first 40 were taken and then after about 5 minutes they sent probably the next 40 or so (including us in the front of that second group). from there, we did a security check and waited in the hallway outside the peacock lounge (anyone who’s been to a taping of snl, jimmy fallon or seth meyers might know what i’m talking about). while waiting there we saw a few people trickle in and go through a security check as well. those people included zoey deutch (!!!!!!) - who was rocking this INSANE red plaid suit combo as well as the cutest bob i’ve ever seen - as well as GLENNE aka jeff’s wife who was also serving looks™️ with her outfit. 

security then moved us farther down the hallway closer to the elevators and this is where we all started getting really nervous. i had no concept of time bc my phone was running out of battery and i turned it off bc i was paranoid if they saw it they would ask me to leave skdjhfs. it was only a matter of minutes before we knew if we were going to make it in or not. the staff had us line up two by two and kept counting and recounting us. then one of them grabbed a stack of wristbands and counted us one last time before he stopped at ticket #30 and said “congratulations all of you have a seat in the show”. the energy in the room was SO CHARGED. he was handing out their tickets and was urging them to put them on as quickly as possible and then they were ushered into the elevators. side note: there’s rumors that lorne michaels (creator and head of snl) reserves 30 seats specifically for the standby line. so that might be why he originally stopped at ticket #30.

my friend and i were holding each others hands as if our lives depended on it bc it was really make it or break it at this point. a couple minutes later he goes down the line again while counting us and stops after maybe 15-20 people behind us and again goes “congratulations, you have a seat in the show”. my legs literally almost gave out. my friend couldn’t speak to me bc she was trying so hard to hold in her sobs. i had to put on her wristband for her bc her hands were shaking so much LMAO. they quickly usher us into the elevator and as soon as the doors close all of us in the elevator start screaming and cheering bc WE MADE IT!!! but we quickly quiet down because we had been told beforehand that if we were excessively screaming during the show that we would be removed. i’m pretty sure that during dress rehearsal the staff said someone was shouting distracting comments at harry during the pauses and they were kicked out. someone else was also kicked out for drinking which......blows my mind. but anyway.

when they elevator doors open we are ushered SO FAST into the studio and into seats. i almost got split up from my friend bc the page tried to sit me in a single seat and i was like “no no no, i’m with her”. luckily they were able to sit us together on the back wall of the section that was facing front. they weren’t actual seats, but rather a large cushioned bench. most of our standby line peeps were sat in the right-most section of the studio which was sad that we couldn’t sit next to everyone, but also glad that my friend and i were sat together. 

the taping started no more than 10 minutes after we got there. it all happened so quick and i don’t think i’ve really fully processed everything that happened. i won’t talk too much about the sketches because you can all just watch them yourself but i’ll talk a little bit about some of the behind the scenes things that we witnessed. 

1. the way in which harry RAN between scenes and sketches was INSANE sdkfjhsdkjfh. right after the monologue he basically LUNGED off stage. a staff member (i think its a woman who does wigs for the snl cast) was moving so fast past the main stage after the cameras cut that from what i saw, the way harry had moved so quickly made her TRIP and harry IMMEDIATELY scooped her up basically DRAGGED her backstage skjdfhksjdhfdjkshk. it all happened so fast i still can’t tell if i imagined it happening or not but it was crazy. either way, harry was on the MOVE. 

2. one of my fav sketches by far was the lamaze class one. harry did SUCH A GOOD JOB SFKHSKJDHFSD especially w the accent????? (he actually did so many accents throughout the show i’m so proud of him). he broke a little bit during the lamaze one but as far as i remember that’s the only time he broke?? which??? that’s honestly impressive, especially for the sketches/jokes they were doing (don’t even get me started on the Sara Lee sketch....). also i wasn’t openly jealous of heidi gardiner because of how harry was holding her and caressing her but i was jealous. i will not speak more on this topic.

3. the slow/ballad version of lights up.............BREATHTAKING. there was not a sound in that studio literally everyone was so mesmerized by it. it was honestly gorgeously performed and the back up vocalists did SUCH and amazing job!! the music stage wasn’t really near us but we still had a good view of harry himself and THAT OUTFIT. it was......chefs kiss.

4. when the ballerina photos came up on the screen there was an audible GASP that ran through the audience. i shrieked. i almost grabbed the woman’s hand whom was sitting next to me and i did not know. that is all. 

5. WATERMELON SUGAR !!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!! y’all. have i got a story for you. when the drums hit right before the first “high” my friend and i went FERAL. we were on the edges of our seat the WHOLE song. i had such the urge to stand up and dance but we couldn’t out of fear of getting kicked out ksjhdfkjhs. the entire song we had our hands in the air grooving to it, i was flailing my limbs as MUCH AS I POSSIBLY COULD to jam out to it. additionally, if you watch the performance back you can actually see that harry’s hands are shaking and he’s fiddling with his soundbox on his back during the beginning of the song. we’re pretty sure that his earpiece wasn’t working so he was freaking out a bit. he started to dance a little, but you can kind of tell that he was a bit stiff, maybe because of nerves. then at one point, he looks to someone off stage to his right and he smiles at them and laughs a bit to himself. after that, he starts looking around at the audience up above and there are times that harry looks over to his left EXACTLY in the direction of where my friend and i were sitting/dancing. my friend who has literally ANALYZED this performance from watching it so many times claims that 2:15 is the exact moment that he looks over sees us flailing our entire bodies. and right after he looks over is when he really starts moving and grooving himself and appearing to look a bit more comfortable. while we don’t know FOR SURE if he really did see us or started dancing bc he saw us jamming out, i do want to mention that we were literally the ONLY people in the studio moving like that. we were in the back corner by the sound guy and one of the exits and sitting next to a middle aged married couple who were looking at us like we were certifiably crazy. we had a view of almost everyone in the audience because we were in the last row and as far as we could tell, we were the only ones that were jamming out as hard as we were. so take with that what you will. but from this time forward, i will go on with my life believing that my uncontrollable bodily reactions to hearing watermelon sugar LIVE perhaps made dear harold feel a little less nervous and more comfortable to do his thang :-)))))

i don’t think i’ve clapped harder for anything in my life than i did when he finished performing watermelon sugar and when he signed off the show. i teared up watching him go around to his band and all the cast members giving them the BIGGEST hugs. you can clearly tell that every single person on that cast had the best time with him this week. heidi and cecily both mentioned in their instagram posts about how agreeable he was to everything and how he has to come back to host again. it was clear that he had SUCH a fun experience and he did SO WELL!!!!! i have no doubt in my mind that he is going to host (or do double duty) again at some point in the future. so to those who were in the standby line and didn’t make it in to the taping for live or dress, don’t lose faith. there will for SURE be another opportunity to do this whole thing again. i am so so proud of everyone who was brave enough to face the elements for even a chance to get a standby ticket over these past couple days. you’re all so strong and such warriors. this is certainly not the last time he’ll be doing this. 

as grueling and testing as the whole camping out on the streets and standby ticket experience was, i would do it all over again in a heartbeat. i’m a senior in college and was privileged enough to be able to skip some classes and call out of work in order to do this. i figured that this time in my life is probably one of the only chances where i’ll be able to actually drop everything and sleep on the streets for three days to see one of my favorite people in the world. and in the end, it was all worth it. i couldn’t be prouder of harry and what an amazing job he did last night. this journey is something that i will cherish forever (and will definitely be telling my kids about in the future).

feel free to message me or drop in my inbox if you have questions or want to come chat about it all ! thanks to anyone who actually had the patience to read this whole thing. i’m so sorry for how unbearably long this was dkjfhsdkjhsdk. much love to you all. treat people with kindness :-)

[psychicwonu-blog]

sleepover

 Anon Asked:  hi, could I request something fluffy with Twice’s Sana? under unusual circumstances she has to share a bed with her crush (fem or gender neutral) and then a confession? thank you, I’m such a sucker for stuff like this lol

Group: Twice

Member/Pairing: Sana x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, non-idol!AU, and a liiiil bit of angst, bc I couldn’t help it:((

Summary: Sana and Y/N catch up after months apart when they just happen to be at the same place, same time. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: ahhhhh I’m so glad my first request since coming back is for Twice!! I love them so much, and I’ve missed them. Thanks for sending this in, anon, I really hope you like it. I went with a fem reader bc it’s what I’m more used to, and I’m a lil rusty rn sooo. BUT! if any of y’all want male/enby/etc reader x Twice (or anyone) just ask and you shall receive!

Sana stood on her tippy toes, stretching her body as much as she could in an attempt to scan the small 7-Eleven for that familiar face. She weaved through some aisles, ducked past other shoppers, and silently jogged through the rest of the store to catch up. 

You were standing at the back, scanning over the many assortments of cheap alcohol. She was hesitant to approach you but ultimately decided to once you had a six-pack of the best beer a convenience store had to offer in hand. Sana let out a quick breath as you turned around. 

“Hi,” she waved. You were stunned, momentarily, as she flashed her toothy grin at you. 

“Hi.” you murmured, adjusting the right strap of your tattered backpack. She smiled at the floor, tucking some hair behind her ear. You watched her silently, unsure of what to do. 

“It’s been a while.” she giggled. Sana rocked lightly on her heels, holding a small bag of starbursts in her hands. You smiled back at her, nodding your head. Your hand mindlessly ran up and down your arm, as you thought about what you should say.

“Yeah,” you huffed. “What have you been up to, Sana?” Hearing you say her name still sent chills down her spine. Suddenly she recalled the first time she saw you. 

The atmosphere of the club wasn’t ideal. Sana liked going out, but there was something off about that night. She’d been begging her friends for hours to go home until she bumped into you. Bright smile, tight dress, dark makeup. Her mood changed completely as you turned around, apologizing for almost spilling your drink on her. 

“I’m Y/N,” you’d told her, stretching your arm out. Her palm was clammy, and her fingers shook as she gripped your hand.

“Sana,” she whispered, her voice was barely audible over the loud music of the club, but your proximity had allowed you to understand. Her voice was soft, and she’d seemed dazed. “It’s nice to meet you.” she smiled. 

She shrugged her shoulders as her cheeks flushed, pressing her lips together.  “Nothing really,” she sighed, scrunching up her nose. “just traveling with some friends.”

“Yeah? I didn’t expect to see you in here,” you tell her. She smiles. 

“I didn’t think you’d leave Korea, at least not so soon,” Sana admitted. An awkward silence settled in around the both of you as you maintained eye contact. “Small world, though, huh?” she tried to break the tension. “I’m glad to see you. You look good.”

“I’m glad to see you, too. Where are you staying”

“Some cheap hotel in the city,” she told you, walking beside you up to the counter. “I can’t remember how to say the name, but I remember how to get there.” The cashier looked between the both of you, rolling his eyes.

“Is all this stuff together, or you guys paying separately?” he asked. You began pulling out your wallet when Sana shouted “Together!” in her adorable English accent. You still shook your head, protesting the idea. 

“It’s fine,” Sana cooed, shrugging off the sour attitude of the store clerk.

“I’ll need to see some ID,” he told her, his voice monotone. She pulled out her passport and handed it to him with both hands, smiling. His mood never lifted, and he handed her document back to her. “Here,” he said, pushing the bag so far it nearly fell off the counter. 

The two of you left the store, and you held the door open for Sana, thanking her for buying your things. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” she laughed. “So, where are you living now?”

“Funny story, actually. My roommate kicked me out a few hours ago.” you laughed. Sana’s expression was serious. “I mean, not permanently or anything,” you assured her. “She’s just got her asshole boyfriend over, so I have to find somewhere else to sleep for the weekend.”

“She seems very inconsiderate,” Sana frowned. You chuckled, shrugging your shoulders. “You can stay with me, you know...if you want. I won a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, so I got my own room this trip!”

“Really? You won?” you teased her. She scoffed, pulling out some Starbursts. 

“Of course I did. Anyway, you want to? We should catch up.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll come.”

Sana smiled, twirling some of your hair around her finger. Her head rested on your shoulder as she softly sang along to the song that blasted from the TV. Her friends danced, jumped, and swayed along to the beat, teasing the two of you about how close you sat together.

“How much longer will you be here? These past few weeks have been so fun!” her friend Momo laughed. Her breath had been heavy from dancing, she plopped down beside you, tilting her head. 

“I’m not sure. I don’t really want to leave,” you told her. Sana then squeezed your arm subtly. You looked over at her for a split second, took in her expression, then panned your eyes over all of her friends. “I like it here, and you guys are fun.”

“Yeah! You should try to find a good job here! Or maybe start going to school here!” Nayeon smiled.

“Yeah, that’d be really great,” you told them.

You followed Sana through the city, bumping shoulders with her every now and then. She told you about her plans and how long she planned on being in the states. Your eyes scanned her face carefully. She still looked the same. KIller smile, big bright eyes, soft skin. 

Unbeknownst to you, she’d been doing the same thing. Sneaking glances every now and then when you weren’t looking. Sana tried to muster up the courage to talk about everything that happened before you left but for now, she knew things needed to be taken slow. 

Maybe that was the problem, maybe she messed everything up before. You’d only known each other for five or six weeks, and she’d fallen in deep. It’s not uncommon, two people finding each other in unusual positions. Being friends, but actually being involved in something much deeper than just a friendship. Still, it makes it no easier to be the one drowning.

“Here we are,” she sighed. You looked around the room, noting that it was spacious, especially for the price, but there was only one bed. Sana noticed your expression and spoke up. “Yeah, about that,” she giggled. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“C’mon, no way.”

“We’ll figure out sleeping arrangments later, then.” 

You spent most of the night watching movies, talking, and finishing the six-pack you’d previously gotten. Sana was a lot more confident after downing a few drinks. Even something as tame and watered down as convenience store beer boldened her actions. She wasn’t afraid to lean against you, play with our hair, or wrap her arms around you. 

You’ve missed the feeling of her skin against yours. You knew the moment you left you’d regret not saying bye, at least, but the thought of being in love scared you more than you’d like to admit. Especially with someone like Minatozaki Sana. If perfection in people existed, she had it. Nothing about her was flawed to you. From her funny and caring personality to her slim and petite figure. 

“What are you thinking about?” she yawned from beside you.

“You sound sleepy,” you told her, effectively changing the subject. She nodded, stretching her arms up into the air. 

“I am,” she whispered. You helped her onto the bed, removing her socks and fluffing the stiff hotel pillows. It didn’t do much, but Sana was thankful for the gesture. “Sleep here,” she cooed, patting the pillow next to hers. You hesitated, running your eyes over her face. “if you sleep on the floor you’re gonna kill your back.” Sana giggled, sounding much more innocent than she had moments before.

“True,” you shrugged. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna change.”

“Okay,” 

Sana’s mind began racing as you entered the bathroom. She wasn’t sure if telling you about how she felt was the right move. Getting so close to you is what caused things to go wrong in the first place. At the same time, being so far away from you and not being able to keep in touch was excruciating. 

“I have to tell her,” she thought to herself, but truth be told she didn’t know how to. As you came out of the bathroom, clad in silky black shorts and a baggy long sleeve t-shirt, she decided you were still the most beautiful person she’s ever seen. Your hair, your lips, your figure, all compiled together, manifesting a real-life goddess. 

“What is it?” you asked as you slipped under the covers, turning on to your side so that you faced the girl in front of you. She was grinning from ear to ear.

“Nothing. I just missed this, you know? Hanging out with you.” she tucked her long hair behind her ear and adjusted her head on her pillow. You smiled too, agreeing. 

“Me too,”

“Well, I’m glad.” she smiled. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence. She played with your fingers, massaging patterns into your palms, and laughed at your expressions when she tickled you. It was evident that “just friends” would never be something you could label your relationship as. You knew it, Sana knew it, and you both had a pretty solid feeling that it wasn’t and never was really hidden. 

“Um,” Sana cleared her throat. Laughing and cringing at her own sudden awkward shyness. Her cheeks flushed, and her heartbeat sped up. You knew what was coming, but you let her speak anyways. “in case it isn’t obvious, I really like you. And I have for a long time.”

Despite knowing she was about to bring this up, it still overwhelmed you. Only this time it wasn’t like before. You didn’t feel scared or intimidated. Something was telling you to just accept it and be happy. 

“I know.” you smiled back at her. “I really like you, too.”

She pulled your face to hers and did what you’d both been yearning for. Months of confusing feelings and waging war on yourself finally came to an end. “Let’s just start over, okay? And no more ghosting.”

“I promise,” you grinned, pulling her in for another kiss. 

[marriagebase]

This Photographer Helps Others Find Therapy with the Art of Photography

Nina Robinson’s phototherapy program harnesses photography’s innate ability to bring about healing and inspiration both for her and her elderly students.

As a documentary photographer, Minneapolis-based Nina Robinson draws inspiration from both the people she has interviewed and fellow photographers whose works explore transformation, family, social issues, and solution-focused journalism. But as an educator, she didn’t realize how the Phototherapy program she helped develop would also cultivate a passion for teaching senior citizens.

Editor’s Note: Visual Momentum refers to the flow of storytelling and its effect on the viewer’s thinking process. This series highlights creators who are successfully using their tools and minds to create an impact on the world through imagery with the intent of inciting action. With the support of Fujifilm, we share their stories. Be sure to also check out the video interview on This Week in Photo

It all started as a two-year program she nurtured and developed independently with the Bronx Lebanon Hospital Department of Family Medicine in 2015. From a beginner’s photography class for senior citizens at the William Hodson Senior Center in the Bronx, Nina’s work organically evolved into a phototherapy course after she decided its structure and impact needed reevaluation. This change came about after several exercises and projects that revealed it was leaning toward a more profoundly personal route. “As the instructor, my goal was to get my students, the elderly population, motivated, engaged and talking about the topics that mattered to them to keep their minds stimulated,” explains Nina to the Phoblographer in an interview. “It was about understanding the human connection and creating a comfortable environment for the seniors to speak openly and honestly, instead of internalizing issues.”

Photographers are no strangers to using the medium to evoke emotions, incite ideas, and tell personal stories. “The depth of some of the discussions about shared photos often evoked concealed emotions and thoughts about self-discovery, experience and social views as a whole for many of the students as well as for me,” noted Nina. She also understood that this program had the potential to add another dimension. Built on the perspectives of senior citizens, it could be a thought-provoking avenue to surface their unique stories waiting to be told.

Unpacking Memories with or Without the Lens

“I felt very drawn to images photographed by my student Sarah Carter, who had a digital point and shoot camera that she would take with her everywhere. From her bus rides through the city, to other events she would attend and the body of work she would bring me to review was amazing. Barry Hardy, he used to be a truck driver and through discussion he revealed how much he missed driving so he chose to incorporate photo taken with his SLR camera by snapping photos out the window while he was driving. He got some incredible shots from that.”

After the icebreakers that are typical of every class, Nina asked her students to bring in family photographs. Those who didn’t have photographs brought in family heirlooms or items of personal significance. Building a discussion about these photos and items forged the bond of the class and helped them identify on a personal level. The phototherapy program eventually became the perfect avenue for her elderly students to confront and explore various personal themes — the most common being memory, family, politics, and race. Some of them had cameras — from digital point and shoots to SLR digital cameras, and even a Polaroid Land Camera — to unpack all these issues and channel them into compelling, straightforward photographs. Others were content to attend the classes just for the discussions about photography, or engage in the discussions about the photos brought in to the sessions.

Two of these students made an impression on Nina — her interactions prompted the realization that she would build emotional, inspirational bonds with them. Their photos provided a glimpse into their daily life and even the seemingly trivial things they missed from an earlier point in life. Despite all its benefits, phototherapy also came with its own set of challenges both for Nina and the participants. She found it mainly revolved around processing many of the responses to the images she was showing during the sessions. These would also often spiral off into discussions about their personal experiences, beliefs, emotions, and memories — topics that she noted had been suppressed for many years but resurfaced with the combination of pain and liberation.

Creative avenues and expressive art activities like photography have always been encouraged for the elderly to enrich their lives and bring about a myriad of benefits to senior health. Among these, according to Barbara Bagan, PhD, ATR-BC in Geriatric Monthly, include reducing depression and anxiety, assisting in socialization, fostering a stronger sense of identity, and offering sensory cognition. These advantages play a notably prominent role in the program Nina developed.

“Our elderly population is often ignored in our society and we need to understand the importance of giving them a platform like this because they still have a lot to say and a lot they can do. Engaging in phototherapy amplifies their voices. It creates a space for them to speak, share, feel empowered and meet new people they may not have met otherwise.”

Students from Nina Robinson’s Photothearpy class at William Hodson Senior Center practice street photography using Polaroid cameras.

Phototherapy Goes Both Ways

It’s no surprise that photography can be a very powerful tool for healing and drawing inspiration, and the Phototherapy program showed how it often goes both ways. For the senior students, a single image could trigger a discussion and tap into emotions they’ve never felt, or haven’t in a long time. Sharing their personal stories helps build their confidence and individuality, encouraged by a safe space built on respect and empowerment. Nina stressed that among the important lessons for her as an educator is to understand that teachers are also students, and each session is a collaborative effort. This perspective shifted her photographic process from simply telling a story about communities to involving communities in the conversation.

Nina continues to teach visual and social workshops like the Phototherapy program across the US. While that particular program concluded with her move to Arkansas, it served as her inspiration for the multi-generational photo workshop and youth photo boot camp she facilitated in the state. “I am happy to know that organizations like the Bronx Documentary Center was inspired by my work and developed a photography class supporting the elderly population in the Bronx.” she stated. “My hope is to partner with hospitals and clinics to provide these photo/social workshops to communities across the US who wouldn’t normally have access to a program like this.”

The Creative Process for the Documentary Photographer

A Fujifilm user for the last five years, Nina’s go-to camera is the Fujifilm X-Pro2 for its compact size and electronic shutter mode. “It fits perfectly in my hands and reminds me of my very first camera, the Minolta X 700. What I love most about my X-Pro2 is the electronic shutter mode, which has helped me tremendously as I capture stills on film sets, intimate moments with families, and at the William Hodson Senior Center where I used to teach. I used XF 16-55 mm f2.8 and the XF 35mm f1.4 lenses to capture the portraits of my students and other senior citizens that considered the senior center a second home.”

It’s interesting to note the impact of the Phototherapy program on Nina herself, both as the facilitator of the classes and a documentary photographer faced with the opportunity to draw inspiration from her students’ stories. However, her primary goal as an educator takes precedence, and it’s where she mostly devoted her creative energies. When she did manage to take photos around the senior center, she was able to channel what she learned from her students in terms of visual storytelling.

A portrait of Thelma, a PhotoTherapy student at the William Hodson Senior Center and one of her photographs.

A portrait of Sarah, a PhotoTherapy student at the William Hodson Senior Center and one of her photographs.

A portrait of Mr. Brown, a PhotoTherapy student at the William Hodson Senior Center and one of his photographs.

A portrait of Berry, a PhotoTherapy student at the William Hodson Senior Center and one of his photographs.

“I wasn’t too focused on documenting what I was doing as the purpose of my class was getting my students to talk and interact with each other, getting them excited about image-making or discussing a topic around a photograph— understanding what they see in the image and also how the image makes them feel. Since I was the facilitator, it was quite difficult to document unless we had a speaker, on a field trip or when my students split up in pairs to photograph each other or photograph the neighborhood. I’d often come in early or stay late and photograph around the senior center.”

“This was hands down one of the most rewarding experiences in my photo career I’ve ever had (without picking up my camera). Truly miss my students. I don’t think they know how much they’ve changed my life and what I learned from them. How I view visual storytelling now has a lot to do with what we collectively shared in class.”

Watch Nina’s Podcast Interview on TWiP

About Nina Robinson

Nina’s documentary photography covers stories in the American South, Midwest, and the East Coast. She describes her work as a mixture of her past experiences, with the goal of bridging documentary, personal elements, and fine art. Her visual storytelling style, she said, has been present since she first picked up the camera. It was developing the confidence to pursue what she thought was interesting instead of being told what was acceptable that she had to learn over time.

As a creative, she allows her own artful approach to come out naturally. “I think of the quote by Edward Alby: ‘If you intellectualize and examine the creative process too carefully it will evaporate and vanish.’ My gifts are embedded within me and don’t want to dull or disconnect from my work by thinking too hard about adding them to my work.”

Nina’s current focus falls strongly on underrepresented communities to break the visual prejudices of race, class, age, and gender. The strength of documentary photography, for her, lies in both having a good eye and an understanding and respect for the people in front of the lens. Her photos have appeared in American Photo, TIME Lightbox, Lens Culture, New York Times Lens Blog, and Wall Street Journal. Apart from exhibits, she was one of the three photographers awarded with the Getty Instagram Grant in 2017, and a recipient of a reporting grant from the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting.

As a visual storyteller, she seeks to reveal the beauty of truth and honesty at its core. For her personal projects, she ensures that each one feels personal and uniquely her by reshaping how she communicates visually, and to whom. ” In this industry, we talk a lot about influencing change with our images, but what does that even mean? By asking that question I became more interested in the non-traditional photographer, the communities I photograph and how individuals see themselves in modern-day photography.”

Editor’s Note: This is a sponsored blog post from Fujifilm

About FUJIFILM North America Corporation (Fujifilm)

FUJIFILM North America Corporation (Fujifilm) is empowering photographers and filmmakers everywhere to build their legacies through sharing their stories. Grounded in its 85-year history of manufacturing photographic and cinema film, pioneering technologies in lenses and coatings, and driving innovation in developing mirrorless digital camera technologies, Fujifilm continues to be at the center of every storyteller’s creative vision.

Pushing boundaries in digital photography and filmmaking innovations, Fujifilm’s X Series and GFX family of mirrorless digital cameras and FUJINON lenses yield exceptional image quality for creators of all levels. Offering image clarity, advanced color reproduction technologies and a wide range of film simulations, Fujifilm’s family of mirrorless digital cameras delivers on fulfilling their intrinsic mission of capturing and preserving moments for generations to come.

With a Fujifilm digital camera at your fingertips, you can seize the moment, share your story and build your legacy. Learn more on our website.

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This article first appeared and was provided by our friends at The Phoblographer.

The post This Photographer Helps Others Find Therapy with the Art of Photography appeared first on Resource.