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oceangirl24 · 4 months ago

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Fandom drama finally over (next chapter on the way).

Well, this month has been surreal.

For those of you who have been following me for a while you know I have dealt with plagiarism and harassment by a fandom writer since October of 2022- exactly twenty years after I posted the first chapter of AiP on FFN.

Totally gone.

Everything has been deleted everywhere.

The name has been scrubbed, even on pages that tagged her. Only a few gift fics on FFN and a few stories on WhoFic.com remain.

Gone like she never existed.

I've held off saying anything in case it was a just a dream, but it's real.

She is gone!

It's over.

Finally!

I cannot tell you what a massive relief this is.

I have never named her publicly through all of this, although I know some of you figured out who it was.

MrsFizzle. Kaylie Night.

I never shared the extent of what went on for several reasons, but mostly because I knew my socials were being watched and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that what she was doing was so badly affecting my physical and mental health.

I was already dealing with a severe bout of depression and anxiety when she contacted me on FFN in October 2022. At that time, I did not have any socials linked to my FF accounts other than my art account on FFN. I was just getting back into fandom and hadn't decided how I wanted to engage yet. We had been talking in comments on AO3, and instead of asking me if I wanted to talk privately, she just appeared in my dms saying she wanted to talk so she "found" me. This was disturbing, especially since she indicated she was aware I likely did not want to hear from her, but I brushed it off as anxiety talking. I had said I wanted fandom friends after all. And I had no reason not to talk to her.

I should have listened to my instinct.

She straight up told me what she was going to do and how she was going to do it- take my work and Audrey to chop up and use as she pleased. She immediately began to gaslight me by saying she had all of this already written and was giving me a heads up so I wouldn't think she copied. Later, she insisted she would not change anything about Ashley, which made her previous offer to change her name not sincere.

I felt I couldn't say anything about this, not even saying yes, please change the name. What right did I have anyway? It's fanfiction. Mine is the only story like it in the fandom and recognizable, so she'll credit me, and I'll get over it.

I hated it, though. I hated what I thought she was trying to do, and I hated myself for thinking that of someone new to and excited about the fandom. I've been in BMW fanfiction since 2002 and have always had a great experience with it and the people in it. I convinced myself that I was reading into things, and that depression and anxiety were skewing my perception.

Over a year later, while putting the report together, I saw her own words in comments with the dates on them telling me she read AiP and Flashbacks before writing her story, I just didn't catch it. I also saw all the lies she told her readers about the situation. I saw the little comments picking at my characters and story line, the ones she said she loved so much to make herself look better. I can't imagine what she was telling people privately with how bold as she was publicly.

She lied to me about everything from why Ashley's name was so similar to Audrey's to the plot she had planned for her "little family". Told me our OCs had to be the same because they were written for the same character. They had to be younger than Jon, had to have a traumatic backstory, and had to be good with teens, very pretty, etc. There were differences: her character wasn't as young as mine and "had more of an edge to her".

Also she said she couldn't tag Ashley as an OC because she wasn't. Not really. To say she was original would be "presumptuous". She existed in GMW.

Somehow Audrey did not nor did any other OC love interest for Jon even though they too were nurses like in canon. Unbelievably, she even told a reader Ashley was a canon character.

We talked for one week.

It was a miserable seven days. I set my discord status to invisible to get rid of the pressure to respond right away when she messaged. She didn't like this and wanted to know why she couldn't tell when I was online.

No one else ever shows up like that she said, why do you?

I made something up and said a bunch of things to appease her, but I was worried about why this was such an issue, especially since many of my friends were also permanently invisible. The fear she was watching my online movement just had to be my anxiety driving paranoia, right? She couldn't be. Who has time for that?

A fandom friend I had been talking to about the conversations as they happened advised me to get out. She said I shouldn't be afraid and anxious when talking to someone about fandom things.

I finally got the courage to end it. She didn't like being cut off. I tried to be nice about it and took all the blame on myself for this fandom friendship not working out, but that wasn't enough. I finally had to be forceful (or honest I suppose) and tell her I felt like I was being lied to because what she told me was different than what she was telling other people.

She denied it of course and was very offended.

"May God deal with me as He sees fit if I have intentionally decieved you."

This closed out one of her last FFN messages and always bothered me. Was it purposely worded like that or a Freudian slip? In hindsight, now that she's deleted everything, maybe He did just that.

I found out later that the "repetitive stress injury paired with hypermobility" in her wrists that left her unable to type for a year was not her story. See I have hypermobility in my lower body, really bad in my hips. In talking to her, a lot of what she said didn't make sense and she often wouldn't give direct answers. Later on Reddit she announced that her wrists were suddenly healed, all better now. I had no clue you could be cured of hypermobility (you can't).

When compiling the plagiarism report, I came across the AN on a story written by a close friend of hers (I was blocking all close associates). What was it about? A repetitive stress wrist injury paired with hypermobility. It looked like it went up during the time we were talking.

She told me one thing about why she left her job in the AO3 comments. Then she used my own AN about why I left teaching (internal school politics) to come up with a different reason for leaving education on FFN that honestly made no sense to me but I didn't question her. She then told Reddit something different.

There were other instances where she took someone else's story and claimed it as her own real-life tale. Some of this was public, too. Either she thought no one would pick up on it, or she thought she could say anything she wanted and not be held accountable. I don't know.

Then there was the drive to push me out of the fandom using what weaknesses she knew I had to do it. Looking back, she was very good at it. Too good for it to be the first time she'd done this to someone. She claimed I was the first person since high school she'd had drama with and the first ever online. I highly doubt that now.

I had Cameos from Tony Quinn and had spoken to him in dms. I mentioned these to her, and she insisted on seeing them. I didn't want to share them. They were special to me with a lot of personal things said. But I was selfish by not sharing, right? So, I gave in, edited out the personal stuff, and sent them to her.

Immediately I regretted it.

As soon as she indicated she's seen them, I deleted them. Then she said she hadn't seen part of one and none of the others, could I send again? I ended up making an excuse as to why I couldn't - too much personal info. Truthfully, I had the inexplicable fear she was going to take the videos and claim them as her own.

You see, she didn't care anything about Tony whom I've been a big fan of since 1994 when we first started talking. He was just some old guy to her. Until she found out how much I liked him. Then suddenly she was his biggest fan and just had to meet him because he was so wonderful. They lived in the same state after all. Oh, but don't worry I would get to meet him too someday for sure, she told me... on the other side of heaven. 🙄

When I told my friend about this one, she said to cut contact.

(Ironically, by the time we started talking, Tony had already moved back to my home state, where he and his wife are from. Learned that from his Pod Meets World interview that came out a month after we stopped talking. I cried-laughed the first time I listened to the interview.)

She liked to point out how old I was. I never told her, she did the math and figured it out she said. She was wrong, but it didn't matter. She was aware of personal insecurities and liked to push this one. I told her things I should not have but I was desperate for another friend and I convinced myself that all the warning sirens I was hearing in my head was just anxiety.

Towards the end of our time talking on Discord, she had started the subtle dismantling of my confidence in AiP. I was very aware that my work was outside of the norm for the fandom at the time and was often insecure about it. With little feedback at the time, I didn't know what to do.

It's a trilogy, split it into three parts maybe, so the word count isn't so intimidating?

She told me the story was too long, and even splitting it into three parts wouldn't help- no one reads sequels or will go back to read the first parts. On the other hand, no one would be interested in giving it a chance because of the length. Also, the story wasn't healing- and that is why people read, you know. Her attitude toward Audrey grew chilly and very, "she's an OC, people don't like OC main characters." This was a drastic departure from her comments on AiP.

Then she started bragging about how well her story was doing and all the comments she got. Fans were just begging her for more.

After I cut contact, she blocked me on Reddit and purposely took over the Jon and Jon and Shawn threads so I couldn't participate. This continued until I blocked her. She didn't like having her participation limited.

Blocks on both sides were lifted for awhile. I wish I hadn't lifted mine. But I had been so looking forward to season 2 of PMW and wanted to talk to others about it and Mr. Turner. I thought I could handle dealing with her more out there takes.

During this time, I noticed a sharp drop in interaction on my stories.

Readers not from Reddit or FFN disappeared. I always wondered about the timing. Readers gushed over her, though, and several indicated they were talking to her on Discord, too.

She knew how much fandom connection meant to me and took every opportunity to flaunt hers, whether in her comments or on Reddit. She had a thing for following me around and posting where I did, including on other people stories.

I mentioned this feeling of being left out and wondering if there was a Discord server for BMW I didn't know about. She said there was none she knew of and told me no one wanted to talk about BMW in a discord server anyway. All the people she talked to were uncomfortable with that. They only wanted to talk to her privately.

Turns out that was another lie.

Not only did I find that people wanted a discord server, in a comment thread with her and another reader about wanting to discuss head canon offsite, one of those readers "uncomfortable with discord servers" created one of their own and dropped a link inviting them to it some months before that conversation.

It wasn't the existence of a private server that bothered me so much. If there was, there was. It was the way she told me: everyone wanted her, nobody wanted me.

Had it not been for readers alerting me to the stolen work, I would never have known any of this. I'd still be wondering why the fanfiction side of the fandom wanted little to do with me when I sincerely tried to give back as much as I got and tried to welcome/encourage writers, especially new Jon & Shawn writers.

Then she contacted me on Christmas Eve 2022 on Reddit. After I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her. As always, I was too nice. I still blamed myself and the anxiety for everything that happened. She offered friendship and apologies and then abruptly ripped the offer away when I expressed having reservations. When I didn't do what she wanted, she got mean.

Admittedly, her hurtful words about having "tons" of fandom friends to talk to when I didn't upset me. Since she liked to talk about God and being a Christian, I shot her some Bible verses about words and told her how cruel she was.

That didn't go over well.

Later I felt bad about it. Maybe I was too harsh, too judgemental, too sensitive. Blaming my anxiety for my reaction, I stupidly reached out on Valentine's Day 2023 to try to make peace with her.

She was even meaner and now saying she was afraid of me. She said I had hurt her so much she couldn't trust me. She admitted that she'd hurt me too but wouldn't say how, just that we kept hurting each other, so she was too scared to talk to me.

What?

I was talking about her, she claimed. And that was too much. She couldn't take the pain and stress of being talked about online. Oh, and her depression was worse and she struggled more, so what I was going through didn't matter.

Did I talk about her online?

In the aftermath of the Discord chats, I was angry she wouldn't leave me alone when asked. I resented her trying to push me out of a fandom I've been in since I was a little kid. I vented my frustration by making a wildest opinion that fans had heard over the years post on Reddit. Mine was that Jon was a coward for letting Shawn go back to Chet. I never named her or how I'd heard this opinion. I didn't think she was even still around the subreddit.

She outed herself.

I think the biggest problem with the post was that no one agreed with her take. I deleted the post not long after it was made and apologized to her for it later, but it wasn't good enough.

The next thing wasn't even about her. I told her that when she contacted me on Reddit. Someone had posted about having to block someone online and why. I responded sympathetically, referencing something that had happened before I met her. She refused to accept that my comment wasn't about her. Of course, I was talking about her, how could I not be?

Everything was about her no matter what the topic was.

But these were the terrible things I did to her that made her afraid of me. She couldn't come up with anything else. Turns out what she was really afraid of was that I would find out what she was doing and what she was telling others.

For 16 months I was so stressed and depressed that I started having panic attacks again. @lizettevanessa and later @mrsmungus virtually held my hand and talked me through these. They spent hours trying to help me calm down and get me to think rationally over that time.

I have type 1 diabetes and stress is a killer for me. Throughout this ordeal, my blood sugar was stuck at over 300 for hours on end and it seemed that no matter how much insulin I used it wasn't enough. And then the bottom would fall out and my blood sugar crashed. It was a never-ending cycle of trying to bring down highs and bring up lows. This led to stomach problems, constant migraines, and eventually hair loss. I had so many nights where I couldn't sleep. I was so depressed I couldn't work out and I couldn't cope with online or rl situations that shouldn't have been a big deal.

It also triggered the ED.

I hadn't had a relapse in years.

Online I was always looking over my shoulder wondering if the people in fandom were being honest with me or if they were pretending to be my friend while reporting back to her. I know for a fact one person in the BMW server was doing this. I know at least a couple of readers/friends were involved and that she created alts impersonating others.

Trying to run an inclusive, welcoming fandom server while trying to protect myself was a nightmare.

I honestly can't put into words how much damage she did. It was only because of my chaos family and sis @mrsmungus that I didn't quit everything. No exaggeration. I came very close several times to deleting over 20 years of work and history because of her.

What I've just told you is a just a part of what I've dealt with since late 2022.

The worst part is I think she'd be pleased to know how effective her tactics were. I don't know what was going on in her life that drove her to do this. I don't know if she is just that jealous, entitled, and petty a person or if she was lashing out because of something done to her and this was the only way she could get revenge- by going after an easy target and inflicting the same hurt she'd suffered.

What did she gain by doing all of this? If if I had left the fandom, what was the end goal? There were/are a lot of Jon and Shawn adoption writers out there. Would she drive them out to so she could be the BNF of BMW?

I've been in online fandom for over 20 years and I've learned that fandom is cyclical. Favorite tropes, characters, etc. change over time, falling out of favor and then becoming popular again. It would be a full-time job plus overtime trying to stay on top.

As for me, all she had to do is admit where her inspiration came, just once, just a note. Instead, she chose to lie, manipulate, and harass me just so she didn't have to admit it.

It's incredibly stupid if you stop to think about it.

But she is gone now and all of that is gone with her.

I don't know what happened that made her nuke everything and I do not care. It doesn't matter.

I used to want that story rewritten or gone. But in all honesty, I am ecstatic to see she's gone.

Good riddance.

Looking back, I get the feeling she is a very privileged person who has been sheltered from having to deal with the consequences of her actions for a long time and not just online.

Going back over all the private correspondences with her, the ones she had a with a mutual reader that were sent to me, and her response to AO3 that was removed by staff, in them is a trend in claiming something awful happened to her making it impossible for anything to be her fault when confronted with something negative. Flu, injury, baby, computer theft, ID theft, etc. There was always an excuse. She was always the victim.

She got away with it until she didn't.

I really do hope she deals with whatever caused her to act this way. It's terrible for those who cross her path who aren't her constant cheerleader, but it's worse for her in the end.

You can't be like that and be happy.

You know what is sad?

She's actually a talented writer. She could have taken that story and really done something special with it. The foundation was there. She could have taken Ashley and made her into a fully developed, living, breathing character who could have shaped her family unit in a way that didn't look anything like mine even if the same basic elements were there. It would have been so easy for her to do. Instead, she picked what she wanted from mine, minced it up, and harassed me over what she was doing.

AO3's verdict on my report, which was still out a year later, no longer matters since she deleted everything.

If by chance Kaylie is reading this or does read this someday, let me be very clear: Do not think I feel sorry for you in any way. Do NOT contact me for any reason, not even to apologize. Do not come at me with new accounts anywhere. I do not care if it's ten years from now. I want nothing to do with you.

Yet out of all this mess, there were some incredible things that came of it. Because of her behavior, it drove me to get involved with fanfiction outside of the fandom and find my online family. If I had the chance to go back in time and avoid her, but it meant not finding my family, I'd decline. Her nonsense was worth finding them.

Because of her, I did become afraid to get involved with fandom people and very nearly missed meeting someone who is very dear to me. @justanotherpersonwhowrites posted her story on FFN and I completely panicked when I saw the description of her OC. Thankfully she posted on Tumblr and AO3 later on as I was finding my family. I reread her story and fell in love with her OC. I got up the courage to reach out and I am so glad I did. She is an amazing person, a talented writer, and an incredible friend.

Also the BMW discord server happened because of Kaylie. I didn't want others to be isolated from the fandom like I was and Reddit is good for some things but not others. Not only is it an archive for the show but a place for fans to find each other. It is also a safe place for fanfiction writers to get together.

So what happens now?

Autumn in Philadelphia will go on, without a doubt. And I will be picking up my other stories that were more lighthearted and fun. I have a series of Jondrey one shots that I really want to do too. A lot fun stuff and art. I'll be more active on here and in the BMW server.

The AN that's on every story will be changed to link to this post.

As for blocks, they will remain for now.

The reason is I've been through too many bouts of silence only for her to resurface. Although she can't return in the same way, I don't know that she doesn't still have former readers acting as her eyes and ears. Eventually all blocks will be lifted except on those I know to be her friends because she named them as such.

I still have the report, the screencaps (soooo many screencaps), all her messages, and a copy of that story. I took screenshots of all the places she used to exist but doesn't anymore because it still doesn't seem real. I thought about purging everything, but they are now a part of AiP's history. Someday I'll get around to building that neocities site as a tribute to the era this all began in and I will include everything: the fantastic, the strange, and the nightmarish.

I want to extend my eternal gratitude to one of my dearest friends, @lizettevanessa, to my sis @mrsmungus, to little sis @justanotherpersonwhowrites, to @lena-hills @kayedium-writes @hylianjo @sliebman10 @axolotlsupremacyowo @udaberriwrites @fattybattysblog @narcissasdaffodil @danceswithdarkspawn and the rest of my Chaos family for your love and support during the past two years. I owe you everything.

And to my readers, who've been with me whether from the beginning or just joined, THANK YOU. I love and appreciate you more than you know.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

-Aria

#autumn in philadelphia #boy meets world fanfiction #it's over #i can breathe again #I forgot what it feels like to be happy #fanfiction plagiarism #plagiarism #Kaylie Night #mrsfizzle #boy meet world

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420thewritersroom · 10 months ago

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Redo: Electric Boogaloo

A sequel to Redo! Well, actually,

This is less of a sequel in my opinion and more of a inspiration piece as I got inspired to write Delphi, the clone of the Emperor and a little ray of sunshine. Thanks to SunnyCrunch for approving and allowing me to write our OCs being soft together. Read til the end because I'll finally put some context to who Lennox is and his whole deal with the Emperor of Mankind (and in a small extension, Delphi). Also, please do check out SunnyCrunch's twitter. I'll link not only its social, but also where you can read the twitter thread about Delphi

Characters: Lennox, Delphi, The Emperor of Mankind

Warning: Death

Word Count: 2,898

He can feel Lennox going under. His legs coming to a stuttering halt, eyes rolling into the back of his skull, the clawing fingers uselessly scratching at his arms before falling to either side of the body below him. Then, he was still, motionless. Yet, his grip did not let up. The Emperor kept his fingers locked around Lennox's neck, lifting his limp head before sending it back to the hard floor with such force a disturbing crunch could be heard as Lennox's skull shattered.

It was then that the Emperor finally let go of Lennox's damaged neck. With nary a tremble in his breath or posture, he stares contently at the corpse below him. Like a predator waiting for its poisoned prey to die from its substance, he watched the body closely, waiting for any possible signs that his work was sufficient. Lennox did not move, and this was enough for the Emperor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched in the shadows, watching as the Emperor, himself, put Lennox under, restarting the cycle. Delphi grimly eyes the servants carrying Lennox away, his gaze slowly reaching the Emperor as he silently...Judged...Delphi cannot say that he's angry, moreso, disappointed. Why? Why must it always come to this? Killing Lennox because he doesn't display the correct attitude, the proper line of thinking. Delphi silently watched the Emperor work, making his commands and expecting immediate obedience. He knows that the Emperor can sense his gaze; he's just refusing to acknowledge him in return.

There was no point arguing...No, disputing, with the Emperor about what he did (and continue to do) with Lennox. That conversation has been tried and done, with neither party coming to a consistent agreement. You know, it's strange how much one ignores about another person until they spent 10k years sharing the same insanity and decrepit state of living decay as the other. This insanity, a curse or a bond, was a part of their shared existence. The incoherent voices, the ramblings...The brokenness of his mind being projected to him. The fleeting memories of when they were one and there were only them and Lennox. The many fantasies the Emperor, he, escaped to when the insanity was like prowling wolves and their only solace was to reminisce (or better yet, make up) about memories that may or may not be accurate.

"You're supposed to be in your chambers."

The unmistakable sound of his greater half resounding in his mind doesn't alarm Delphi. Not the first, nor the last, but it certainly doesn't bring the same comfort as it did before.

"...I wished you didn't do that..." Delphi says, lips sealed, but mind connected with his greater half.

The Emperor doesn't respond, indifferently attending to his duties with his back turned to Delphi, despite the burning holes the petite man bore into him with his "wrathful" stare.

"It's not unreasonable for him to ask about his children. He will keep asking the longer you keep their bodies hidden in the palace, my lord! If this annoys you so much, why don't you dispose of them already?"

If Delphi was the man he was 30 millenia ago, the thought of him even thinking this would've brought him to his knees. But how many more deaths would he have to endure? How many more memories lost to time because the Emperor decided they didn't want to deal with even a second of Lennox's "outbursts?" At this point, Delphi just wanted this to stop. The unreasonable violence, the abuse, everything, he just wanted it all to stop.

What was more frustrating was the Emperor's persistent cold silence.

Delphi could feel a bubbling rage from within, threatening to break the emotional dam he had built up. He didn't want to scream, didn't even want to raise his voice. The Emperor can sense how he feels and how he deals with that; Delphi knows his beloved will come to terms with it...In his own time...Until then, Delphi defiantly marches away. To where, he doesn't know, and right now, he doesn't care. Lennox will be out for days before his perpetual body finally kicks back into gear. Right now, Delphi wants to be anywhere but near the Emperor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brown eyes unveil behind weary eyes as Lennox woke from his slumber. Even with the braziers scattered about the room, providing a dimly lit atmosphere in the golden space, Lennox still found himself adjusting his sight to the "brightness" of the room. It took several seconds for Lennox to realize the massive mattress he rested upon, large enough to accommodate a giant. An expanse of sheets and pillows, a large majority of the cushions being strangely small compared to the sizable pillows that sat neatly at the bed's headrest. Each one a different shape, color, and has variation of use, disrupting the coordinated gold aesthetic of the room as a whole.

Lennox finds himself staring out of the many windows and open balcony that revealed the brightness outside the confines of the room. Only a satin sheet that swayed with the wind concealed what was hidden behind those openings. His mind was empty, dazed from something he couldn't recall. There's actually a lot he can't remember at this moment. But it doesn't concern him. He lies there in ignorant bliss, staring into the bright void, listening to his own heartbeat and breathing, focusing on his bodily autonomy. Then came the curiosity. His eyes wandered as Lennox grew more aware that he wasn't familiar with the room he was in.

Paintings of a man, a warrior, based on the portrait's suggestions, glowing with a heavenly light in golden armor. Hair in a static frame as it flowed in the wind, a dangerously inhuman contraption that made a lethal claw, and eyes that pierced into your soul. Lennox couldn't help but be enraptured by the figure depicted. It's the kind of fascination that one would describe as awe, "love at first sight," an inhumanly strong pull at his soul that wanted...A lot of things...

When Lennox looked at the painting, anger, love, adoration, grief, hopelessness; there was a confliction of emotions that whirlwind within that Lennox could not understand. He would excuse this as the purpose of the painting. Artists, as per their intent, pursue such crafts and lines of work to give a representation of the world around them, their inner thoughts and feelings, all conveyed on the canvas into which they poured their essence and soul. Yet, despite this reasoning, Lennox can't shake the feeling that there was more to this internal picture. That there was more to his conflicts than just what was portrayed in the image. This was a primal instinct. Like looking into a pitch-black room, staring from an impossibly high platform, glancing at the person whom you've decided in your heart that you will spend the rest of your life with. Fleeting emotions that arise in the spur of a moment, but these feelings hold a tight grip on Lennox.

Lennox pushes himself to sit up on the mattress; as comfortable as the bed was, it was unproductive to remain there like a lazy panda. But, deep down, Lennox knew he just wanted to stop staring at the picture. Mind devoid of memory, he found it hard to inspire motivation. Even his own name evaded him. But he knew this; he was hungry and thirsty, and his neck was sore. It took several minutes for Lennox to gather the courage to leave the room; the fear of wandering a place he wasn't familiar with or even knew if it was his to begin with slowly thawing away as his desire for food and drink outweighed the bubbling anxiety. Yet, before he could leave the bed entirely, the door Lennox could ascertain led to other wards in the building was cracked open.

Entering, a short man with shoulder-length hair, dark skin, and amber eyes dressed like a prince crept into the room. Perhaps what took Lennox aback more than the unexpected guest was the behemoth that followed after him. A giant clad in golden ornate armor, standing at what Lennox could guess was 10 feet. The creature moved like an animated statue, and when they came to a complete stop, they could serve as another empty armor set for the golden room. Lennox gapes in awe, admiring the size and possible strength of the warrior before him. So much so that he was taken off guard when he saw the more petite man rushing to greet him, the suddenness of his arrival adding to the unexpectedness of the situation.

"Lenny!"

Lennox is partially pushed back onto the bed as the smaller man bombs rush him, holding him tightly and burying his face into his chest. Lennox steadies himself, unsure of how to adequately react to this stranger who calls him 'Lenny.'

"You're awake. I was so sure you'd be out for longer. I came to check on you," the dark-haired individual pulls back from Lennox, their smile bright as the sun, yet their eyes look tired. Almost distant.

Seeing the man up close was like looking at a mummy in the process of being rehydrated. Their skin was an unnatural color for someone who possessed darker skin; they also looked like a recovering starved victim. Lennox only now realized his own strength, as the man's grip on him made him tense up, inadvertently flexing his muscles slightly, which caused him to be cautious when handling the smaller man.

Lennox's only response was to silently gawk at the individual, their smile faltering as they began to understand what Lennox was thinking.

"Right, you don't remember..." There's a moment of stillness between them, the dark-haired man lowering their head sadly before suddenly facing Lennox with a brighter smile. "I'm Delphi. And you're Lennox; we used to be friends! Well, I mean, we still are, if you want to!"

Lennox? It stirs a feeling of familiarity. Yes, that's his name. It fits him. It IS him.

"Delphi..." This would be the first time Lennox uttered anything, his voice filled with hidden power as he huskily spoke Delphi's name.

And this pleased him.

"Yes, yes, that's me."

Lennox couldn't help but embrace the warmth Delphi exuded. Maybe it's his smile, those almost dead but welcoming eyes, or the fact that he can't help but feel...safe around him...If Lennox had any worries or doubts before, they were silenced. All that remained was a soothed internal wind and calmed waters.

"You must be hungry. I can make you something! You always liked shakshuka! Or maybe shrimp scampi?" Delphi snaps his fingers, "Oh, how about orange cardamon cake! You always liked that."

Delphi separates himself from Lennox, excitedly rushing to another door that led to what would seem to be a kitchen. Suddenly, those calming currents stopped; all that remained was still, undisturbed waters. The instant departure shook Lennox to his core, nailing him to the bed. And the standing guardian whose presence Lennox could feel did little to help calm his nerves. Despite looking like a statue, someone was breathing in there. At least, Lennox hopes there is someone breathing in there.

"Don't worry about them; you'll get used to having them around." Delphi's voice is heard from the kitchen.

'Get used to'? As in, Lennox is expected to see them often? Assuming that he will be frequenting this place more than once, if not for the rest of his life that, he'll become accustomed to them. Although Lennox had no reason to feel this way, a bubbling dreadful feeling got stuck in his throat. He almost wished he could throw it up. Lennox supposed it was going to be a recurring theme here. He sees or hears something that unravels undiagnosed emotions inside him without context for why he felt the way he did. However, unlike earlier, he has someone who is willing and wanting to talk, compared to the soul-retching portrait.

"...Where am I?" Lennox finally finds the courage to say something as Delphi reunites with him in the bedroom, plates full of desserts and sweets.

"You're in the palace, silly!" Delphi's comforting smile immediately fades away as he remembers Lennox's condition, "Oh, wait, you don't remember. Um, my better half, the Emperor of Mankind, owns this building. And he opened his home to you."

Despite his smile, Lennox noticed the tonal dips in Delphi's voice and the struggle to maintain eye contact.

"So, I'm blessed to be under a king's roof?"

Delphi nods, holding out a spoonful of spongey cake, "a bite?"

Lennox opens his mouth comedically wide, allowing Delphi to spoon-feed him a couple bites of cake and sweets. With his mouthful, Lennox continues to ask further questions, "Am I favored to be given the privilege to live here?"

"What do you mean?" Delphi says, finishing up a personal basket of fine fruits.

"I doubt the Emperor allows strangers to roam his palace unless they are servants. Do I have a role in this palace?"

Delphi takes a moment to think, trying to find the right words to say in this situation. And it must be difficult to relay this to Lennox because he can now noticeably see the conflict in Delphi's face.

"It's...Complicated...But, our job is to keep my better half happy."

"'Our job'?" Lennox questioned.

Delphi simply nodded as he took another bite from his plate. Lennox would press further, but he had multiple questions floating in his mind; he couldn't decide which one to ask.

"That's...There are a lot of things that can make one happy. If that is our job. What are we supposed to do to keep the Emperor happy?"

Delphi thinks again, longer than usual, once again deciding which answer to provide. "We attend to his mental and physical needs, is all. Sometimes, he will come to us and let us know what he wants at any given time. My-" Delphi abruptly stops himself before making a split-second course correction, "Our beloved is always busy, especially now; he doesn't visit us as often as I would like." A hint of sadness and yearning pokes through the bright exterior.

Wait, wait, wait...This was all becoming overwhelming to Lennox. 'Our beloved?' A term only really used between lovers. So, are they concubines of the Emperor? That would DEFINITELY be something Lennox wouldn't want to forget. There was so much going on. It was hard for Lennox to wrap his head around it and to organize his questionable ducks in a row to ask them. And even more so, what the hell happened that he had completely forgotten about all of this? About Delphi? About the Emperor? Hell, about himself. Everything was a blank canvas, save for his gut feeling upon hearing all this information. And as kind as Delphi was, he wasn't sure if he could trust Delphi. Even though he has no grounds to believe otherwise, how can he know Delphi isn't taking advantage of his memory loss? He felt like a cornered dog, stuck between a wall and a hard place, with Delphi blocking his only exit. His choices being to either trust the supposed helping hand extended to him or lash out at the stranger.

Then, a calmness settled in. Lennox didn't realize he was staring into place and, in turn, did not flinch when Delphi crawled closer to Lennox, cuddling beside him. His growing winds of anxiety slowly ebbed away, the calm waters returning like before. Lennox nearly scares himself as these feelings resurface, his eyes darting this way and that before landing back on Delphi.

Delphi rested soundly next to Lennox, with a soft smile and eyes leisurely blinking as he steadily lifted a hand toward Lennox, caressing his face. "I bet you have many questions. They'll be answered in due time. Right now, can I enjoy you for a moment? Before He comes back?"

His voice was like honey to Lennox's ears; he couldn't help but cling to every word. Every fiber of his being was becoming slack, leaning into this quiet oasis. Lennox could look at Delphi for hours, admiring the hauntingly beautiful features he possessed, like sleeping next to a ghost. Lennox brings his own hand to grasp Delphis, giving it a firm squeeze and not wanting to let go.

"You have no idea how much we miss you, Lennox. Seconds become years, minutes become centuries, and hours become millenniums when you're gone." Delphi snuggles closer, "But now you're back. You're really back."

If there was any dormant resistance Lennox held on to, it had melted away like sugar cubes in hot coffee. Lennox adjusted himself to fully encompass Delphi, wrapping arms and legs around the smaller man. He smelled sweet, just like the platter of desserts and treats that Delphi loved so much. It felt nice to not worry about anything; perhaps Lennox had his perspective eschewed. Memory loss or not, becoming suspicious of everyone won't help him recollect anything faster than if he were to allow someone into his opened circle. And Delphi was the best person he could've run into to help him transition back into this world, whatever this world may be since he last remembered it.

I'm glad to be back," Lennox whispered, "And I'm sorry for leaving you."

There was a long silence between the two; Lennox could feel Delphi's grip tighten around him.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cringe Context Time:

So Lennox is a perpetual, and whenever he dies, he has a whole factory reset where his memories are lost to the abyss. Lennox would meet with the Emperor long before he becomes the Emperor and the two would fall in love, but not really because the Emperor took advantage of Lennox's memory-loss-after-death feature and would kill him any time Lennox either didn't immediately fall for him or didn't display "agreeable" traits that the Emperor wanted. The pair would get separated as Humanity explored the stars and Lennox would marry an Aeldari, have twins, immediately loose them because Slaanesh, and effectively killed himself as he gave up his immortal body and split his soul in two so that his children may live.

Jump to the future of 40k and the Emperor returns from the brink of death thanks to some prior shenanigans that I won't get into, but this effectively kills Lennox's children AGAIN as the Emperor revives Lennox and merges his soul back together. However, this would cause some rifts in their relationship as Lennox becomes aware of the Emperor's toxic traits (and inevitably also discovers that the Emperor killed his children), but they're both back in a vicious cycle as the Emperor tries to control Lennox by…Well…Killing him over and over again, while Lennox tries to evade the Emperor and plots against him.

In the context of this fic, Delphi, being not only a clone, but also containing a soul shard of the Emperor, he's becoming increasingly frustrated with his greater half manipulating the one they hold dear to their hearts, and simply wishes things were simpler again :(

#warhammer 40k #wh40k #lennox (oc)#Emperor of Mankind #Guest Star: Delphi from SunnyCrunch

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fireblossumdraws · 5 months ago

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Hello hello hello

I figured with the ban, I would return to my roots yet again to be more active as my only current space here on tumblr for the time being. And now that you’re all aware, I do have concerns listed out will be specified with my art.

Q/A: What concern I will have over the newcoming community and the proship community.

-I will put first thing. I am not a lowly doxxer. I am not you as a content creator and we are not the same. Even if I do see your ship and it’s choice of implied rape/inbreeding, I will merely ignore for my own mental health’s sake. I only report what is outwardly obscene (like imagery of something illegal/bigoted) But I will never disclose names of accts as a newletter to my followers. And I will not bring harm to people when i have no real responsibility for their choices. Even if those choices and morals may not coincide with mine.

Q/A: what WILL your blogs have as far as warnings?

Warnings of some gore, suggestive themes, sensitive topics that I would best pin to squeamish minors under 18. Again, I do not have responsibility of what you can and cannot click. I can only warn that there will be langauge, artistic nudity, and at times sensitive subject matter. Its okay, not everyone likes guts ‘nweenies. The block button exists.

Also these guidelines are meant for this site ONLY. My rules change with the platform. My morals remain, but I will try to be as consistent as i can with potential language barriers. I have a feeling they may be more butchered as i learn.

Q/A: Can your work be shared?

Please do not repost my art on another platform without consent. Especially my original projects. The fanart ones I don’t own really anyway. AI has most likely cannibalized my style already for it to not matter by this point so… Whatever.

Which by the way no, I don’t use AI in anything but janitor. I am only a user to see my robotic competition, which, for all it’s worth, to be a whore and not for my actual writing. I suggest users to do the same to destroy its algorithm further.

Q/A: How have platform bans affected you?

If you must repost my art to a platform i cannot access due to my country (ie, TikTok and eventually Rednote/Xionshu) I would only ask that you leave my watermarks and source to avoid any orphaned content. I would like people to find ways to find me with a little digging.

I will be updating more links to new content that will be free to the public as I try to maneuver this strange new type of social media i have been given. And I would like to keep as many like minded people in my feeds as possible.

Thank you for reading thus far. I hope I have not deterred you from appreciating what goes about in my silly head. You are a star I tell ya.

—Firebb ❤💞🖤

#about #fandoms #.oh #theres #no #hashtags #when #did #that #change

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jahayla-writes · 1 year ago

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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your support and encouragement! Since my requests are have been closed (apart from ones done through Ko-fi), I decided to celebrate hitting 1.5k+ followers by offering the following things.

But first, I need to list some rules!

Rules:

1. You must be following me in order to participate, this is a followers celebration after all! 🥰

2. For any requests, they need to be done either off-anon or if you send it anonymous you need to still message me directly to let me know you’re the one who sent that request. Either way, I can leave your name off the reply that I post (just let me know if that’s your preference)!

This is because this celebration is for my lovely followers so I want to ensure they are getting the chance to send in their requests for the below activities!

3. You can do as many of the options as you wish, but please limit it to 2 requests per option!

Example: each follower can do option a, b, and c, but each follower can only submit two different requests for option b.

4. Please read the details for each option to ensure you send in the details that’ll help me make the best response for your request!

While not required, it would be greatly appreciated if you could reblog this post! 💜

Okay, now, the fun part!

Celebration Activity Options:

I’m opening this celebration to include ALL characters I’ve done before, including currently archived ones!

💌 Blurb: send in a character and an event/plot/topic/etc. to get a 100-200 word answer

📱SMAUs: The 2 request limit for this applies to 2 of the same character (in other words, you can send in more than 2 SMAU requests so long as it’s a max of 2 per character) this can include fictional and nonfictional characters. Please include any side characters, events/details, or other information surrounding the SMAU request. If you want it to be with a specific type of reader, please be specific. You’ll get a SMAU fic with at least two posts from the reader and 2 from the character chosen.

💭Headcanon: send in a character and a scenario or type of reader to get a bullet point list of thoughts on it.

✨Moodboard: Send in a character and a season, event, aesthetic, subject, etc. for a moodboard for it.

✍️Writers: For my fellow writers, send me a concept you’re working on or send a link to a fic you would like a moodboard to use for an already existing fic/part/etc. (for a character I write) and I’ll generate a moodboard for it!

Last but not least….,

🎆 Requests: Please note these will be likely shorter than my longer requests (I say that but you all know me 😂). These cannot contain a lot of specifics or anything like that. Rather, it’s a simple concept and a character. Limit is 1 request per follower for this option given the time it’ll take to do these.

👯‍♀️ Oh and, mutuals, I couldn’t think of something specific to offer you, so you can literally send in whatever you’d like from me and I will do it! (Ex: handwritten letter, piece of advice, a custom short fic with your name listed instead of y/n, a song that reminds me of you, etc.) You deserve to let your heart go wild and choose whatever you’d like! 💜

Once again, thank you all so much! I cannot wait to see what you come up with for me to work on!

Disclaimers:

As always, I reserve the right to refuse any requests I’m uncomfortable with. But I will let you send in a replacement request if this applies.

This ends March 8, 2024 (11:59PM PST).

After this event ends, requests will be closed again (apart from ko-fi) until I state otherwise.

As always, I own all works/responses and do not approve of anyone taking credit or sharing elsewhere without asking me (reblogging is different)

The responses from this event will typically take priority over ongoing work I have in terms of which will be posted first. But it also depends on the order in which I finish each one.

I love you so so much! 💜

#Jahayla’s 1.5k Celebration! 🎆#follower celebration #1.5k followers #ilysm <3 #update #requests

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dashawfrostart · 11 months ago

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This... Month? In "Time & Again" #20: Die Herausforderungen des Schreibens 📚 - und mehr

Here, I thought I'm finally coming back with some truly awesome news quite shortly - but alas, it turns out it's been roughly a month. Sounds like the frequency of my overly giant posts is rigorously dropping... But I intend to let it simply flow, following its own pace, so I write whenever. I have probably already mentioned that writing doesn't always go buttery smooth for me (and I'm pretty sure I said that somewhere before; it's not just the title of this post signifies that). If the posts do not form in my head - then I simply don't write, and I don't force the process either. The spark is very, very important when creating.

But enough of digression, let's get straight to the business! First things first!!! And the news is truly fab!!!

Chapters 1, 2 and 3.1. of "Time & Again" now exist in the physical world!!! 🥳🥂

This is so cool, I cannot contain myself!!! 🤪 This is a very odd and somewhat awkward feeling, to hold your own book in your hands. Back in the day, I started working on it as an exclusively digital release - and yet, I designed it (just in case!) as a book almost right away, with the covers, inner artworks, and the proper page count that was suitable for physical printing, if need be, although without the bleed areas.

Well, turned out the "if need be" situation happened in the end. And after all, it's just very nice to have a physical copy of your own work on hand... Well, because I'm an old-school person and I love paper books. Once the entire story is done, I will definitely prepare and order a hardcover copy just for myself. And if the local (and beyond local) readers so desire, I'll print some for them, too. But that is just a potential plan for the future consideration 😁 Right now, the succulently depressing Chapter 6 is waiting for me.

Preparing it for the physical printing was a bit of a struggle - the topic I already mentioned in one of the previous posts. I have spent a month working on all of that, plus refining some little things and adding "Notes, Commentaries & Hints" section to each one of the chapters. Ordering prints, unfortunately, was also a struggle, in an odd way.

But I succeeded. And now I am very happy.

Please note that I also added a QR code that leads to the landing page with all my art links and socials for everybody to explore. That was also yet another one little thing I've worked hard on for a while last month. It even has a link to my Doomworld profile 😁 *a happy smiling and spinning cacodemon smiley should go here*

Now, I am ready for yet another one juicy announcement on today's agenda:

The script for Chapter 6 is finally done!!! Yaaaaaay!!!11!!1!1!!! 🥳🥂

Revisiting the fruits of my labour yesterday, I can say I did good. It made me happy. And that's saying something. Chapter 6 is going to be very, very wordy (thank you Lothar for thinking non-stop). 19 pages with approximately 12500 words sure will make a big impression on some readers, I'm certain... However, a large part of that whooping page number is actually commentary only. But there's still a little more reading than in any average previous chapter. Now, off it goes directly to my editor-in-chef for the proofread. Which means that incredibly soon I will finally be able to start working on the page templates for the actual release. Excited. Chapter 6 is going to be highly experimental and daring. ... and unbearably dark, too. Darker than Chapter 5.

Returning back to our aforementioned topic of the writings, as well as the ultimate torments and tortures of the process, I must share something that you might find interesting to clarify the situation - or at least entertaining to some extent. Yet again: writing does not always go smooth for me. In the previous post I have shared my fears and concerns in regard to Chapter 6 in general, particularly the writing. Well, here's the full story for a disclosure: back in the day, approximately around the time I created Lothar (and shortly Jeanny), sometime in 2015, I attempted to write a large novel about the catpeople named Freia and Fjolvarr. That story has never been finished, and the problem with it happened to be, as I ponder now, the lack of self-organization of the author. Meaning, I could write separate notes for the story in multiple notebooks, because a lot of different ideas and thoughts would swirl in my imagination, so, like fools, I would try to save them all. Which was a good tactic - and I still think it is!.. The real problem, however, emerges from the depths of creative process later on, when it's time to stitch everything together into a logical and consecutive narration. I ended up with a lot of parts that were very difficult to tie together. Usually, when I used to write my text-only stories, I went with the flow and let the logic of the characters' conversations circulate naturally - and in most cases, it yielded great result. But with the things written split in parts right from the start, finding the right chain link to link them all together into a naturally flowing conversation was... a nightmare to say the least. Perhaps I was not persistent enough, or maybe the amount of work was a little too much, for that story was supposed to be, well, at least 200 pages in total (I approximate), therefore there as a lot of unrefined material to work with. As for "Time & Again", I definitely didn't want it to die in a swamp of creation that went awry. "Time & Again" bears ENORMOUS importance to me. I could not simply let it disappear into nothingness, because that would've been easily the most disappointing thing in my life. By the time I sat down to get to finishing up and polishing the script in July, there were indeed parts of the dialogues and Lothar's delirious monologues that required connection links. I cannot really say that I dreaded working on it. But I had fear that it might end up being as unfinished as the aforementioned catpeople story. This time I was aware of the weaknesses and failings of my previous, almost 10-year-old outdated approach. So I was ready to embrace a potentially tremendous amount of works that was waiting for me.

And I did really good this time!

Have I ever told you that narratology interest me very much? Narratology classes were something I've never taken. The same with psycholinguistics and the its lesser known, more targeted subdivision called ethnopsycholinguistics. And now I feel like I have missed out on INCREDIBLY MUCH. For a language nerd such as myself, it's shameful. But nothing's impossible (am I, like, in the mood for Depeche Mode quotes today or what?..), and there are lots of books available on the above mentioned topics, so I am not sad one bit. I love sciences 🤓 And I am always up for self-education (basically almost everything I've learnt very willingly was thanks to self-education alone).

I thought I wanted to mention some other fun topic, but I no longer remember what it was. That's alright; chances are by the time I decide to return to make another post, it will shape itself a tad better anyway. So I'll save my currently improperly shaped thought for later.

See you soon! 👋 I really gotta pick up the slack and start posting more frequently 😅

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #graphic novel #ThisWeekInTimeAndAgain

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thatlittlered · 3 years ago

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Kiss Me Whenever You Want | Harwin Strong

(gif by @useraelin)

He finds you in a corner of the gardens, a supposed haven that only you and his sister should know. The golden cloak catches your eyes in the sunlight and it feels almost violating that he is here. That he can simply rip the last bit of solitude away from you when already every waking moment is haunted by the thought of him and the hopes he planted inside you.

“My lady, I was hoping to find you.”

“Ser Harwin.”

“I would ask to speak to you privately, if you could spare the time.”

You glance at your guard, standing proudly in the distance. Improper as it may be, you must grant Harwin the privacy he so desires. He sits closer to you than ever before.

Your voices drop to whispers, as if there is something shameful to being free with each other.

“My lady, I-”

“You stopped writing to me.”

It is a haunting thought; that he might have shared the same affection with others. To write words like that, you need to burn inside.

“I could find no more words to put in writing.”

“I had hoped you would say them in person.”

“Too often, affection is easier put on paper than spoken out loud. Please, do not consider my devotion to you lesser.” his hand reaches for you, touches the fabric of your dress as if to ask permission.

“And what is left now?”

“When words ran out, I came to find action was needed.”

He sees the twitching of your hand; the silent beckoning to touch you. Large fingers trace over yours to feel the softness. When they lace together, he holds them in his lap to draw you closer. There cannot have existed a touch tenderer than this.

“Above all, I wanted your permission… that I might be yours in the eyes of Gods and men. That you might be mine and I could speak to you freely, or touch you when words again begin to fall short.”

Breathing becomes so much more difficult. Your body can only concentrate on the warmth of his hand.

“I would think my father’s word far outranks my own.”

“I would disagree. Your answer means much more to me.”

“Have you spoken with him?”

“I would never put you in such a position. I shall await your answer, whatever it may be.”

“Well then.” He seems so lost, this mighty man at your mercy. You move your entwined hands towards you; leave them close to your face. It is so simple to lean into the touch. “I hope that the next time we see each other, I will be yours and you will be mine. Then you can touch me freely… kiss me whenever you want.”

A/N: Part one is in the comments because tumblr is a link nightmare. I decided I’m going to write the wedding night, so smut coming soon. Cheers, babes!

#house of the dragon #harwin strong #harwin strong x reader #hotd #rhaenyra targaryen

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writingwithcolor · 4 years ago

Note

I'm writing an AU of a movie that takes place in the 1880s USA, where a travelling white character and a Jewish character are waylaid by Native Americans, who they befriend. Probably because it was written by and about PoC (Jews) the scene actually avoids the stuff on your Native American Masterpost, but I'd still like to do better than a movie made in the 1980's, and I feel weird cutting them from the plot entirely. I have a Jewish woman reading it for that, but are there any things you (1/1)

2/2 1880s western movie ask--are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s? I do plan to base them on a real tribe (Ute, probably) and have proper housing/clothes and so forth, but right now I'm just trying to avoid or subvert awful cowboy movie tropes. Any ideas?

White and Jewish Men, Native American interactions in 1880s

I am vaguely concerned with how you only cite one of our posts about Native Americans, that was not written by a Native person, and do not cite any of the posts relating to this time period, or any posts relating to representation in media.

Sidenote: if you want us to give accurate reflections of the media you’re discussing, please tell us the NAME. I cannot go look up this movie based off this description to give you an idea of what my issues are with this scene, and must instead trust that the representation is good based off your judgement. I cannot make my own judgement. This is a problem. Especially since your whole question boils down to “this scene is good but not great and I want it to be great. How can I do that?”

Your baseline for “good” could very well be my baseline for “terrible hack job”. I can’t give you the proper education required for you to be able to accurately evaluate the media you’re watching for racist stereotypes if you don’t tell me what you’re even working with.

When you’re writing fanfic where the media is directly relevant to the question, please tell us the name of the media. We will not judge your tastes. We need this information in order to properly help you.

Moving on.

I bring up my concern for you citing that one—exceptionally old—post because it is lacking in many of the tropes that don’t exist in the media critique field but exist in the real world. This is an issue I have run into countless times on WWC (hence further concern you did not cite any other posts) and have spoken about at length.

People look at the media critique world exclusively, assume it is a complete evaluation of how Native Americans are seen in society, and as a result end up ignoring some really toxic stereotypes and then come to the inbox with “these characters aren’t abc trope, so they’re fine, but I want to rubber stamp them anyway. Anything wrong here?”. The answer is pretty much always yes.

Issue one: “Waylaid” by Native Americans

This wording is extremely loaded for one reason: Native American people are seen as tricksters, liars, and predators. This is the #1 trope that shows up in the real world that does not show up in media critique. It’s also the trope I have talked about the most when it comes to media representation, so you not knowing the trope is a sign you haven’t read the entirety of the Native tag—which is in the FAQ as something we would really prefer you did before coming at us to answer questions. It avoids us having to re-explain ourselves.

Now, hostility is honestly to be expected for the time period the movie is set in. This is in the beginnings (or ramping up) of residential schools in America* and Canada, we have generations upon generations of stolen or killed children, reserves being allocated perhaps hundreds of miles from sacred sites, and various wars with Plains and Southwest peoples are in full force (Wounded Knee would have happened in 1890, in December, and the Dakoa’s mass execution would have been in 1862. Those are just the big-name wars. There absolutely were others).

*America covers up its residential schools abuse extremely thoroughly, so if you try to research them in the American context you will come up empty. Please research Canada’s schools and apply the same abuse to America, as Canada has had a Truth and Reconciliation Commission about residential schools and therefore is more (but not completely) transparent about the abuse that happened. Please note that America’s history with residential schools is longer than Canada’s history. There is an extremely large trigger warning for mass child death when you do this research.

But just because the hostility is expected does not mean that this hostility would be treated well in the movie. Especially when you consider the sheer amount of tension between any Native actors and white actors, for how Sacheen Littlefeather had just been nearly beaten up by white actors at the 1973 Academy Awards for mentioning Wounded Knee, and the American Indian Religious Freedom Act had only been passed two years prior in 1978.

These Native actors would not have had the ability to truly consent to how they were shown, and this power dynamic has to be in your mind when you watch this scene over. I don’t care that the writers were from a discriminated-against background. This does not always result in being respectful, and I’ve also spoken about this power imbalance at length (primarily in the cowboy tag).

Documentaries and history specials made in the 2010s (with some degree of academic muster) will still fall into wording that harkens Indigenous people to wolves and settlers as frightened prey animals getting picked off by the mean animalistic Natives. This is not neutral, or good. This is perpetuating the myth that the settlers were helpless, just doing their own thing completely unobtrusively, and then the evil territorial Native Americans didn’t want to share.

To paraphrase Batman: if I had a week I couldn’t explain all the reasons that’s wrong.

How were these characters waylaid by the Native population? Because that answer—which I cannot get because you did not name the media—will determine how good the framing is. But based on the time period this movie was made alone, I do not trust it was done respectfully.

Issue 2: “Befriending”

I mentioned this was in an intense period of residential schools and land wars all in that area. The Ute themselves had just been massacred by Mormons in the Grass Valley Massacre in 1865, with ten men and an unknown number of women and children killed thanks to a case of assumed association with a war chief (Antonga Black Hawk) currently at war with Utah. The Paiute had been massacred in 1866. Over 100 Timpanogo men had been killed, with an unknown number of women and children enslaved by Brigham Young in Salt Lake City in 1850, with many of the enslaved people dying in captivity (those numbers were not tracked, but I would assume at least two hundred were enslaved— that’s simply assuming one woman/wife and one child for every man, and the numbers could have very well been higher if any war-widows and their children were in the group, not to mention families with multiple children). This is after an unknown group of Indigenous people had been killed by Governor Brigham Young the year prior, to “permanently stop cattle theft” from settlers.

The number of Native Americans killed in Utah in the 1800s—just the number of dead counted (since women and children weren’t counted)—in massacres not tied to war (because there was at least one war) is over 130. The actual number of random murders is much higher; between the uncounted deaths and how the Governor had issued orders to “deal with” the problem of cattle theft permanently. I doubt you would have been tried or convicted if you murdered Indigenous peoples on “your” land. This is why it’s called state sanctioned genocide.

This is not counting the Black Hawk War in Utah (1865-1872), which the Ute were absolutely a part of (the wiki articles I read were contradictory if Antonga Black Hawk was Ute or Timpanogo, but the Ute were part of it). The first official massacre tied to the war—the Bear River Massacre, ordered by the US Military—places the death count of just that singular massacre at over five hundred Shoshone, including elders, women, and children. It would not be unreasonable to assume that the number of Indigenous people killed in Utah from 1850, onward, is over a thousand, perhaps two or three.

Pardon me for not reading beyond that point to list more massacres and simply ballparking a number; the source will be linked for you to get an accurate number of dead.

So how did they befriend the Native population? Let alone see them as fully human considering the racism of the time period? Natives were absolutely not seen as fully human so long as they were tied to their culture, and assimilation equalling some sliver of respect was already a stick being waved around as a threat. This lack of humanity continues to the present day.

I’m not saying friendship is impossible. I am saying the sheer levels of mistrust that would exist between random wandering groups of white/pale men and Indigenous communities wouldn’t exactly make that friendship easy. Having the scene end be a genuine friendship feels ignorant and hollow and flattening of ongoing genocide, because settlers lied about their intentions and then lined you up for slauther (that’s how the Timpanogo were killed and enslaved).

Utah had already done most of its mass killing by this point. The era of trusting them was over. There was an active open hunting season, and the acceptable targets were the Indigenous populations of Utah.

(sources for the numbers:

List of Indian Massacres in North America Black Hawk War (1865-1872))

Issue 3: “Proper housing/clothes and so forth”

Do you mean Western style settlements and jeans? If yes, congratulations you have written a reservation which means the land-ripped-away wounds are going to be fresh, painful, and sore.

You do not codify what you mean by “proper”, and proper is another one of those deeply loaded colonial words that can mean “like a white man” or “appropriate for their tribe.” For the time period, it would be the former. Without specifying which direction you’re going for, I have no idea what you’re imagining. And without the name of the media, I don’t know what the basis of this is.

The reservation history of this time period seems to maybe have some wiggle room; there were two reservations allocated for the Ute at this time, one made in 1861 and another made in 1882 (they were combined into the Uintah and Ouray Indian Reservation in 1886). This is all at the surface level of a google and wikipedia search, so I have no idea how many lived in the bush and how many lived on the reserve.

There were certainly land defenders trying to tell Utah the land did not belong to them, so holdouts that avoided getting rounded up were certainly possible. But these holdouts would be far, far more hostile to anyone non-Native.

The Ute seemed to be some degree of lucky in that the reserve is on some of their ancestral territory, but any loss of land that large is going to leave huge scars.

It should be noted that reserves would mean the traditional clothing and housing would likely be forbidden, because assimilation logic was in full force and absolutely vicious at this time.

It’s a large reserve, so the possibility exists they could have accidentally ended up within the borders of it. I’m not sure how hostile the state government was for rounding up all the Ute, so I don’t know if there would have been pockets of them hiding out. In present day, half of the Ute tribe lives on the reserve, but this wasn’t necessarily true historically—it could have been a much higher percentage in either direction.

It’s up to you if you want to make them be reservation-bound or not. Regardless, the above mentioned genocide would have been pretty fresh, the land theft in negotiations or already having happened, and generally, the Ute would be well on their way to every assimilation attempt made from either residential schools, missionaries, and/or the forced settlement and pre-fab homes.

To Answer Your Question

I don’t want another flattened, sanitized portrayal of genocide.

Look at the number of dead above, the amount of land lost above, the amount of executive orders above. And try to tell me that these people would be anything less than completely and totally devastated. Beyond traumatized. Beyond broken hearted. Absolutely grief stricken with almost no soul left.

Their religion would have been illegal. Their children would have been stolen. Their land was taken away. A saying about post-apocalyptic fiction is how settler-based it is, because Indigenous people have already lived through their own apocalypse.

It would have all just happened at the time period this story is set in. All of the grief you feel now at the environment changing so drastically that you aren’t sure how you’ll survive? Take that, magnify it by an exponential amount because it happened, and you have the mindset of these Native characters.

This is not a topic to tread lightly. This is not a topic to read one masterpost and treat it as a golden rule when there is too much history buried in unmarked, overfull graves of school grounds and cities and battlefields. I doubt the movie you’re using is good representation if it doesn’t even hint at the amount of trauma these Native characters would have been through in thirty years.

A single generation, and the life that they had spent millennia living was gone. Despite massive losses of life trying to fight to preserve their culture and land.

Learn some history. That’s all I can tell you. Learn it, process it, and look outside of checklists. Look outside of media.

And let us have our grief.

~ Mod Lesya

On Question Framing

Please allow me the opportunity to comment on “are there things you'd LIKE to see in a movie where a white man and a Jewish man run into Native Americans in the 1880s?” That strikes me as the same type of question as asking what color food I’d like for lunch. I don’t see how the cultural backgrounds of characters I have literally no other information about is supposed to make me want anything in particular about them. I don’t know anything about their personalities or if they have anything in common.

Compare the following questions:

“Are there things you’d like to see in a movie where two American women, one from a Nordic background and one Jewish, are interacting?” I struggle to see how our backgrounds are going to yield any further inspiration. It certainly doesn’t tell you that we’re both queer and cling to each other’s support in a scary world; it doesn’t tell you that we uplift each other through mental illness; it doesn’t go into our 30 years of endless bizarre inside jokes related to everything from mustelids to bad subtitles.

Because: “white”, “Jewish”, and “Native American” aren’t personality words. You can ask me what kind of interaction I’d like to see from a high-strung overachieving woman and a happy-go-lucky Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and I’ll tell you I’d want fluffy f/f romance. Someone else might want conflict ultimately resolving in friendship. A third person might want them slowly getting on each other’s nerves more and more until one becomes a supervillain and the other must thwart her. But the same question about a cultural demographic? That told me nothing about the people involved.

Also, the first time I meet a new person from a very different culture, it might take weeks before discussion of our specific cultural differences comes up. As a consequence, my first deep conversations with a Costa Rican American gentile friend were not about Costa Rica or my Jewishness but about things we had in common: classical music and coping with breakups--which are obviously conversations I could have had if we were both Jewish, both Costa Rican gentiles, or both something else. So in other words, I’m having trouble seeing how knowing so little about these characters is supposed to give me something to want to see on the page.

Thank you for understanding.

(And yes, I agree with Lesya, what’s with this trend of people trying to explain their fandom in a roundabout way instead of mentioning it by name? It makes it harder to give meaningful help….)

--Shira

#platypan #genocide #native american #North America #america #history #american history #media #representation #asks

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yr-obedt-cicero · 3 years ago

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hii! I was wondering for a fanfic idea, do you think that the hamilton's kids would have gotten along with john laurens had he lived longer? idk you seem to be a expert on them and stuff so I thought you would be best to ask! love your research btw!!

-✒️

Aw, thanks so much, I'm flattered! But I have to beg you please don't call me a expert. I'm not, like at all. I'm just a teen on the internet doing this for fun.

As for your actual question:

Short answer: I don't see why not. Really anyone close with Hamilton was decently close with his kids, Ex: the Washington's, Troup, McHenry, etc. And he had plenty of younger siblings, two of which he looked after while in Geneva, so I don't see him not liking kids. Though as you've already mentioned, he died before seeing any of them, so the only thing we have to him actually acknowledging Hamilton's family is that one letter of him being salty Hamilton was spending "so much" time with newborn Philip. Other than that, it's left up to the imagination.

Long answer: personally, I can see many of them liking him as well (Please I'm basing this off my research not the official accounts don't hurt me). Philip was known for being fractious and rebellious, so I can see him and Laurens sharing that same stubbornness and recklessness (Plus I'm sure he'd enjoy the war stories of his dad). Angelica was fond of birds, as was Laurens, so nature as I see it. And others, like James would have probably admired Laurens for his military bravery. I cannot say there is many similarities with the others, but that definitely doesn't diminish any bond they could have formed. I'm just giving content ideas based on what I know really.

The only one I can see not really liking him, would be John Church. And even that I'm hesitant to say. Church is complicated because while he clearly held disgust against the letters between Laurens and Hamilton (If you didn't know, he made the famous fruity scratch out and wrote "I must not publish this.") He didn't seem to hold any anger against either of them for it actually. Even after learning of their love, and even being the one to have the library of his father's correspondence at his disposal, Church continued to respect his father and only write of praise (Although he probably could have just played off their affections as "friendship" or "just a sex thing because there was no woman." Gotta think of the homophobic time period). He clearly didn't hold any resentment towards Laurens either because he even named one of his sons after Laurens. So yeah, I don't think Church would dislike him either.

I guess you could bring up that half of Hamilton's sons got into law and so did Laurens, but then again, Laurens preferred medicine (If it wasn't for his shitty dad). Generally, I'm stuck between wether Laurens would love the children because they're the children of his lover, or if their very existence would be a painful reminder that Hamilton has a family without him in it (Take the latter with a grain of salt because that's just an idea from the previously mentioned letter in the beginning. But really that was just once.)

Whichever you wish to follow, is up to you my guy. These are all just headcannons based on what I know. We can't really say with certainty how Laurens would be with children because he never had the chance to be a father himself. All we have is his siblings: which if he treated all children that way, then yeah I'd consider him good with kids. He helped tutor his siblings, helped his younger brother find schools, and as previously mentioned, literally watched over them while in Europe. So as far as I can tell, his experience with kids is good, since it would be unfair to bring up Frances.

Hoped this help! I'd love it if you could send me the link to the fanfiction when it's done!

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potteresque-ire · 4 years ago

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hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?

Hello! I apologise for the late reply! You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.

First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.

Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形” (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.

There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.

It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.

Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.

I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.

So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.

Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?

I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.

IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.

As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.

To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.

What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.

This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.

Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?

Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.

By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.

Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death.

Take...COVID. (I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)

I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic?

(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.)

(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)

You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.

Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:

1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?

2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?

(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)

(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)

Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.

The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).

Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!

Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .

They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.

In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?

The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language.

Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.

In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.

How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:

D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.

D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.

D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.

D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.

These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).

Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.

So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.

If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority.

What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.

It isn’t qualified.

#Anonymous #pie metas #pie answers #BJYX #yizhan

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bluestarscribbler · 4 years ago

Text

Writing Characters With Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Hi everyone! :) How are you doing? 🥰💕 Today I'll be outlining the main do's and don't's of writing characters with SAD, as well the definition and the main symptoms of SAD.

DISCLAIMER: I am not diagnosed with SAD myself; however, all of the following information had been obtained from different posts and sites of people that have first-hand experience with SAD. I will be linking those at the end of today's post, please feel free to check them out.

What I learned from the intense research I did is that nobody has social anxiety the same. Some people feel like they can't breath. Others tend to laugh in awkward moments. Nobody is the same. No character is exactly alike. You can't get it "right," because it's not an exact science. So don't feel too pressured while writing a character with SAD, there's no "one" way to write them. A helpful approach is to think what about how the SAD fits into the story you want to tell because the topic is really as complicated as any other and you can view it from many different angles and go as deep as you want - depending on what this story you're trying to tell calls for. So rather than trying to get an objective view of this complicated topic, focus on the aspects that are relevant to the story.

What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

AKA Social Phobia, SAD describes an intense fear and avoidance of negative public scrutiny, public embarrassment, humiliation or social interaction. This fear can be specified to particular social situations; such as public speaking, or more typically, is experienced in most/all social interactions. Those suffering from SAD will often attempt to avoid the source of their anxiety; this is particularly problematic and in severe cases can lead to complete social isolation.

Symptoms of SAD:

person paces a lot

very fidgety

stops talking mid sentence...a lot

wrings hands

angered by slightest infractions of others

finds fault in others a lot

hard to breathe when focus/attention is shifted to them

sweating profusely

mumbling

shrinking to hide

lack of eye contact/wandering eyes

painfully shy and withdrawn

picking the nails, picking the skin

always the person in the back of the room or in a corner

gravitating toward the first person they recognise and following them everywhere

headaches

finding ways to avoid certain situations

crying before or after social events

feel dizzy and the entire world becomes very far away

feeling like chest was caving in

assuming that everyone is focusing on them

assuming that people are laughing about them

grind their teeth a lot

bite their knuckles

tap out drum patterns with their feet or fingers

nausea and vomiting

muscle weakness

migraines

heart arrhythmia

increasing nervous tics

Keep in mind that social anxiety exists on a spectrum. Not everyone is paralysed at the smallest conversation, but some are. Others feel mild discomfort at certain types of socialising. It’s all relative.

DO'S:

DO write in a lot of internal dialogue. People with SAD say that most of their anxiety is created by their own internal rumination. So, add a lot of overly self-critical internal dialogue and have them think about trivial things that they may or may not have gotten wrong for hours after the fact. People with SAD also tend to avoid initiating with anyone, instead preferring for them (the other person) to initiate — because then they know they're not inconveniencing them (the other person). If a person with SAD does have to interact with people then they tend to plan and rehearse what they're going to say to them. However, once the social interaction has begun, there will be very little internal monologue. In those situations, the character is very much relying on instinct. After the interaction, if the character feels that they messed up (which is likely; be sure to pick up on even the slightest fumbles or awkward pauses), they should keep thinking about how they're an idiot and they want to never have to talk to another person again, because they know it'll end the same way. If they feel like they did a good job, they should express surprise at how well it went, congratulate themselves, and say that they should maybe do this more often — although they probably won't.

DO let them have observational skills. Part of the anxiety stems from not always knowing how to/being good at socialising. Thus an anxious person will watch others closely for clues to their performance and acceptance. While it doesn’t always tell the person how they are doing, it does teach them a lot about the people around them and how they feel about each other. The person in a group with SAD may actually have a better idea of who in the group are friends, enemies, annoyed with the others, think they are better, have crushes, and so on. Having SAD doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t know social cues, it means that they underestimate their ability to use them. Don’t confuse SAD with autism.

DO make it influence all decisions. This is one you can do as the writer and not include every bit of internal dialogue. Just keep in mind that Every decision an anxious person makes is put through the anxiety filter first. Even if they are doing things by themselves, they have to evaluate the chances of meeting people, meeting people they know, having to talk to people when they are done. Keep that in mind when writing these characters in order to keep their personality consistent. That said, in general you can think of someone with SAD feeling physically, mentally and emotionally uncomfortable and "out of place" in ordinary social situations - they want out of it, looking for the door, excuse to leave, cut the interaction short. There could be a sense of shame, guilt and self-loathing about not being "good enough", or that there is something broken and wrong with them (or society).

DO give them other traits. Make sure you give them other traits that influence their decisions and drive their motivations. Someone can have anxiety and also love adventure, want to save all the stray dogs, want to help orphans, want to be a basketball hero, etc. One of the big problems with SAD is that it interferes with a person’s desires to do and be other things. It doesn’t always win though. And sometimes a person may decide that an awkward encounter or two is worth taking part in some other activity they love. Just remember to keep your characters balanced.

DO let them find each other. SAD is probably more common than you’d think. Not everyone has a crippling case. You can have characters share their anxiety with each other and comfort each other and help each other through tough times. SAD can make a person feel isolated but they don’t have to be, and often aren’t as isolated as they think. That observational skill can also help them find the right people to share their feelings with. Not all socialising is terrifying, it can often be cathartic.

DON'T'S:

DON'T make them hate people. Social anxiety does not mean that the person afflicted doesn’t like people or always craves solitude. One of the harshest aspects of SAD is that a person may want companionship and friends but still have uncontrollable discomfort when faced with making friends or spending time with the friends they already have. This constant tug-of-war between wanting friends and feeling the anxiety around people can cause a lot of internal pain and lead to other emotions and conditions such as depression. Someone with SAD can have friends. Even a lot of friends. But certain factors may influence how a person with SAD chooses friends more than they influence others. The level of contact is different for everyone and there will be some friends who can take up more time while not taking up more energy on the part of the anxious person. However, SAD can get so bad that the person with it is unable to leave the house for days at a time, ghosting on all social engagements, not answering their phone and ignoring all texts; but that still doesn't mean they hate people.

DON'T always make them succeed. If you are writing about a person with SAD and they are forced again and again to go outside their comfort zone, make them fail. Have them go to a meeting and then duck down a side corridor at the last minute and disappear. Have them talk to a person and then freeze up in the middle of a conversation, at a loss for words. The longer they go without knowing what to say the stronger the anxiety gets and the harder it is to think. Or have them execute the socialising brilliantly but then go into the bathroom and cry from the overwhelming sense of effort it took to look normal. And just because they have had a few successes doesn’t mean that they will start succeeding every time. Sometimes, the energy it takes, even when the interaction was a success, means that next time they are reluctant or too exhausted to do it again.

DON'T always give them "tells". Anxious people can be very good at hiding it. In the example above of the person who socialises brilliantly and then cries in the bathroom, no one knows how hard it was. They only saw the brilliant “performance.” Keep that in mind. Not all people uncomfortable with socialising are bumbling awkward goofballs. Sometimes they actually appear very cool and collected.

DON'T suddenly make their anxiety disappear when they're at the end of their character arc. This pisses me off, anxiety is a life-long condition. It cannot be "overcome" easily. However, the person with it can learn to live with it. They can visit a psychiatrist, get pills prescribed or change their lifestyle completely to fit around their SAD. A person with anxiety always thinks about their anxiety. Even when they are happily at home reading a book, sometimes they will think about an upcoming engagement, or wish they made friends like the characters in their book. Every time a person with SAD makes plans they have to run through a list of criteria before nailing anything down. Will they have time before and after to prep for and cool down from the experience? Is it something they have done before and feel comfortable doing? Can they back out at the last minute if they feel too overwhelmed that day? These are just a fraction of the things that go through an anxious person’s mind before committing to plans. Again, this isn’t an absolute, but for many people with SAD it is a defining characteristic of who they are. They don’t talk to a single person, even a spouse sometimes, or make a doctor’s appointment without the anxiety affecting how they feel, think, and behave. It is always there. Always.

That's it for today folks! I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic day! 😊❤

youtube

#social anxiety #mental health #social anxiety disorder #writing tips #writing advice #writing #writblr #my writing #anxiety awareness #anxiety disorder #mental illness

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midearthwritings · 4 years ago

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Oh Gods I'm so excited for this!

Hello my dear friends! It is me, Max, your host and devoted writer. And today I am here to challenge you, my dear followers and friends who support and motivate me!

On January 8th 2021, I have decided to open this blog to share my fics with the world. At first I thought that it would last for a few weeks, and that I would have maybe 50 followers, not more. But here I am today, 5 months later, with 650 followers, and I'm so happy about it.

So I have decided that to celebrate my blog's anniversary and my 650 followers, I would create a writing challenge. Yup, that's it. A challenge.

The deadline is July 8th, my blog's 7 months anniversary (because 7 is my lucky number). On this day, everybody will have to post their works. After that, I will link all of your works in a post (the link to this post will be available in my Masterlist).

When you upload your work, you can tag me in it, of course. But I will also ask you to use the tag Midearthwritings Rewriting Challenge . That way I will be able to easily find them and won't miss anything.

What is the challenge about and how to participate?

It is...About me. Because I am a very egocentric person. No, just kidding.

But it really is about my works. See, I used to be a literature student. And for years I have been asked to re-write pieces that already existed. It is a very common exercise, and it is always extremely fun to do. So I thought...Why not give my followers this exercise?

Below the cut will be listed thirty-five quotes and ten plots. All of them are from my works. Your task will be to write a piece based either on a simple quote, or an entire plot.

There is no limit. You can select as many quotes or plots as you want! To participate just send me a DM or and Ask telling me which one you want to write about.

Up to three people can use one quote and up to five people can use one plot :) So make sure to claim the one(s) you want before it's taken!

How long does it have to be?

As long as you want! It can be a 200 words fic or a 10k one shot. Or even a multi-chapter fic! It really is up to you!

Does it have to be a reader insert? What can I write about?

Absolutely not! It can be a reader insert, a character x character or even a story about your OC if you have one! I love to read about OCs.

You can change the pronouns in the quote you choose to fit your story.

And you can write about everything. You can write Angst, Fluff, Unhappy Ending, Triggering Topics, NSFW, Modern AU. Whatever you want! Just make sure to tag your story properly so no one will be surprised.

Can I upload my work on another platform?

Of course. Just make sure to send me the link so I can read it and add it to the final post!

Participants : @shethereadinghobbit @riderofrohirrim @guardianofrivendell @grunid @imnotevenhere9 @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @hobbitkin-journey @hey-its-nonny @dark-angel-is-back @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @sassyscribbler @laurfilijames @learntosharefeanor-blog @classyhorseeclipseduck @cassiabaggins

Here are all the Quotes and Plots you can choose from! Don't forget to tell me which one you picked so I can write your username next to it!

QUOTES : If you pick one (or several) of those, you will have to include the quote into your piece. Reminder that you can change the pronouns to fit your story of course.

1-One last time, you look back. (Claims : @dark-angel-is-back )

2-The words were like a punch right in the stomach. (Claims : @grunid )

3-“No. This is not good.” (Claims : @learntosharefeanor-blog )

3-Because after all, happiness takes its sweet time, doesn’t it? (Claims : @cassiabaggins )

4-”You belong to me!” (Claims : @dat-pan-dwarf )

5-”I can sense that something is troubling you…” (Claims : @imnotevenhere9 )

6-He keeps you close to him, his arms circling your body like a shield. (Claims : @hobbitkin-journey )

7-”May I join you?” (Claims : @imnotevenhere9 )

8-“I know.” You said, smiling. “I trust you.” (Claims : @dark-angel-is-back )

9-“This is a misunderstanding!”

10-“I could help, you know.” (Claims : @shethereadinghobbit )

11-“You better apologize, or I will make you regret your actions.”

12-But you cannot bring yourself to care. (Claims : @riderofrohirrim )

13-After all, you hadn’t done anything to deserve his anger. (Claims : @shethereadinghobbit )

14-“Excuse me?”

15-Or maybe were you simply imagining it. (Claims : @dark-angel-is-back )

16-You were his greatest, most precious treasure. (Claims : @bitter-sweet-farmgirl )

17-You had almost died.

18-“I see you find this rather amusing.” (Claims : @shethereadinghobbit )

19-Never before had you seen those people.

20-”They need you, all of them.”

21-”I must go now.”

22-”Yet, my love, I cannot bring myself to be angry at you.”

23-”Please, do not forget me.” (Claims : @hey-its-nonny )

24-“I will get rid of them.”

25-Why? You do not know. (Claims : @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse )

26-“If anything happened to you, I would never forgive myself.” (Claims : @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse )

27-“As you wish.” (Claims : @sassyscribbler )

28-“Are you feeling alright?” (Claims : @sassyscribbler )

29-“Why is it that you are crying?” (Claims : @classyhorseeclipseduck )

30-“Careful, we do not want you getting hurt.”

31-“Is this treason I hear?”

32-“Will you please get off me?” (Claims : @laurfilijames )

33-“I am sorry. I should have said something. I should have protected you!”

34-“Finally.”

35-For a moment, everything is quiet. (Claims : @hobbitkin-journey )

PLOTS : If you choose to rewrite an entire plot, you don't have to include any quote from my work. You can also change the character the story was about (ex : If you pick Be Mine, you don't have to write it about Dwalin) .

1- Angels Standing Guard : Going through a difficult time together.

2- Time Won't Heal, Only Your Love Will : Taking care of each other.

3- Let Your Love Wash Over Me : Sharing an intimate moment. (Claims : @guardianofrivendell )

4- Bye, Baby Bye : Saying goodbye. (Claims : @dark-angel-is-back )

5- Farewell : Writing each other a letter.

6- Tongues Rip Like Razors : Having a disagreement. (Claims : @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse )

7- Pour a Little Sugar on my Wounds : Giving love to each others and showing affection. (Claims : @learntosharefeanor-blog )

8- Love Stumbled into my Heart : Realizing how much they love each other.

9- Be Mine : Confessing their love.

10- I'll Show you my Shadows : Comforting the other.

Thank you so much for reading all of this, and a big big thank you if you decide to participate! It means the world to me! ❤️

*big forehead kiss for you all*

#max talks #the hobbit #the hobbit writing challenge #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr writing challenge #Midearthwritings Rewriting Challenge

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queenorphia · 4 years ago

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Clones!

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terms to know:

dr: desired reality

or/cr: original reality/current reality

script: your ‘tickets’ to your dr (explained at the bottom of this post). It’s a mouthful to explain, but basically,

‘when you script, you’re booking tickets for a destination you can’t seem to remember the name of. So you call a travel agent (the universe), and you start describing the elements of this place you want to go to (your dr), the things you’ll be able to do there, the things you want to be able to experience, and everything that connects to what you want from your destination.’

clone: we’ll be learning about that today!

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Hello, It’s Orphia <3

Recently, I’ve learned about ‘clones’. I’d heard of them during my early research into shifting, but I didn’t really understand the concept of them until recently as I was writing my script.

When you shift, you leave behind a clone of yourself that will fulfil your daily activities while you are gone.

I’ve heard that on shiftok, there’s a lot of talk about clones. Some talk is not so good, which is why I no longer have the app. But clones are important to know about when you shift. In fact, i would say it’s one of the most essential things to know about!

Also, if you like to script like I do, I will be explaining a few tips to keep in mind when scripting about your clone to your benefit.

Here is a really good post that explains clones:

https://aminoapps.com/c/realityshiftingamino/page/blog/clones-and-stand-ins-explained/mqRb_3MckuexrPlr8B6g7x5K82v0BKkDPZ

I will basically be summarising what I learned.

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You have one, original soul, and there are an endless amount of bodies - versions of you- that share it.

You are one of these bodies.

All of these bodies have free-will, individuality and cannot be controlled.

This means you can’t make them do anything, control the events of their lives,

When you shift to another reality, you are simply shifting to a different version of yourself.

You haven’t ‘created’ this version of yourself, they already exist.

So, when you script about dr-self, you are essentially describing a version of yourself that already exists.

When you shift, you leave behind a clone.

This clone continues with your daily life, but can’t be controlled because remember, they are you. And you aren’t being controlled at this very moment.

You have your own thoughts, feelings and opinions. So does your clone.

This means that you can’t script that your clone will do all your homework, pay attention in class, wake up early, or do everything you usually wouldn’t do.

They can do what you would like them to, but after that: they will do their own thing

Clones adapt to your cr lifestyle. While the people surrounding them won’t know you shifted, they might notice that your clone is a little different than to how you really are.

That’s because they are part of your soul, like you are part of their soul, which means they aren’t an exact copy of you. This is where the word ‘clone’ causes misunderstanding.

They are their own person.

Your clone will have all your memories. They will know everything you know, and they will probably be bad at all the things that you are.

Your clone will most likely know your are shifting.

Your clone, knowing that you are shifting, will most likely know that they are filling in for you.

*Note: i was going to say ‘know that they are your clone’, but they aren’t your clone. They are an extension of your soul, like you are. So they aren’t really ‘yours’.

Your clone, again, will adapt to your life and accept it as theirs/a temporary one, but they will also develop their own habits and things that they do.

so here is where the scripting part comes in:

As you know, you can’t control your clone. But, you can influence them; just keep in mind that influencing isn’t the same as controlling.

When you script about your clone, your are describing a version of your soul that already exists.

Remember, like I said above: scripting is your ‘tickets’ to your dr. You are describing your tickets to a place that already exists.

Note: I am quoting most of these from the link, by the way. I will show quotation marks to mark the ones I’ve taken. I am just putting them in my own words, or directly quoting.

You are describing someone- a version of your soul, of you- that already exists.

‘Your clone is *adjective, adjective, adjective*’

For example, I consider myself feminine, caring and emotional (etc.). I would like the clone filling in for me to be similar, because while inevitably, somebody will notice I’m not exactly myself, I don’t want it to be too obvious.

Your clone’s fashion sense.

The important habits.

They won’t exactly be your clones’ habits, but it’s important that they follow the important aspects of your routine so people won’t notice an obvious difference in you and your clone’s behaviour.

‘Your clone is self-confident, and likes their appearance. ‘

‘Your clone has all your memories, and is connected to the ones you make. (to avoid dissociation)’

‘Your clone can shift easily if they want to. ‘

‘Your clone is comfortable with how people perceive them to be.’

‘Your clone ‘is ready to heal and/or get better from any illnesses and disorders.’

Your clone is motivated to complete tasks.

That’s all from me <3

If you are an experieneced shifter, please feel free to add on in the notes.

Happy shifting! And remember to drink lots of water, it really helps.

Orphia <3

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p.s:

I found another helpful link about scripting and clones:

https://aminoapps.com/c/elisemalfoy/page/blog/clone-scripting/qkjN_dMpIRunmn1gnr8D5PgR7v07W4jqL2Y

#shiftblr #clones #reality shifting #shifting realities #shifting clones #dr #drself #universe

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catharsistine · 4 years ago

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To Write A Good Villain

TW: loss of control, hallucinogenics, dr*gs, sc*rs, venom, bl*od, death, defeat, s*x, god, volcanoes, pr*dtors, m*rder, j*alousy, smoking, ab*se, cheating, sl*very, oppression, servitude, vampires, destruction.

Technically, I'm here on Tumblr as a writer. So. It's time I contributed my itty bitty bit.

Many things make a good story. Some claim it is world-building, some think it the cast of protagonists, some the vivid descriptions. All of those elements, however, will seem lacklustre, if your story does not have a good villain. What use is an MC with glorious superpowers or magic, if there is nothing to oppose them? Can there be any victory without a great evil?

In real life? Perhaps. In any fictional world? No. The readers tune in for awesome conflict, so we writers must provide, and enjoy ourselves while doing so.

So what does make a great villain?

Before we explore that, let us review the types of villains. Most important to remember is that a villain need not be human. In literature, there can be many types of discord:

- Person Vs Self: Often used as a compelling subplot, this kind of conflict is valid when a person needs to do something that is opposed to their inner self, something they find morally, emotionally or intellectually repulsive. Eg; A scholar forced to indulge in activities that are unscientific, like smoking when they know it is bad for their health. A pacifist who is forced into a war situation and must commit murder to save their own or their family's lives. A person seeking enlightenment struggles with jealousy when their guru finds a new favourite. (IMPORTANT: Feeling conflicted due to one's morals is acceptable. Hating oneself due to a mental disorder is not. Please do not use mental illness as a plot point.)

- Person Vs Person: Often used as a primary plot point in standalone stories and movies, this kind of conflict is valid when a person bears a personal grudge or hatred toward another. Eg; A wrestler hating someone who defeated them in the ring through sabotage. A child-hating the murderer that orphaned them and their sibling. A person hating their lover who manipulated, gas-lit or cheated on them. (IMPORTANT: Ensure that abuse and abusers are not romanticized, that the healing journey of the character does not lead to them forgiving their abuser. Forgiveness is not a prerequisite for closure. Please do not encourage abuser-abused relationships.)

- Person Vs Society: Often used as a primary plot point in dystopian stories and movies, this kind of conflict is valid when a person aims to fight against a law or a government that systematically oppresses them. Eg; A womon fighting against the law which considers them as lower-class citizens. A PoC fighting against slave laws. A member of the working class rebelling against the bourgeoisie. (IMPORTANT: If you are not a minority, do not presume you are qualified to tell their story. Our stories belong to us alone, and taking away from us the privilege of sharing our trauma when we feel comfortable enough to do so is the worst kind of representation. Please remember if you occupy a position of power, you have no right to speak on our behalf. Already we are often silenced, do not participate in that further if you claim to be an ally.)

- Person Vs Machine: Often used as a primary plot point in science fiction stories and movies, this kind of conflict is valid when any man-made object gains enough intelligence to be considered sentient and becomes a threat to humanity. Eg; A machine that acts as a maid desiring to be free of the bonds of its servitude. An AI which does not have empathy and value for human life. A robot that attempts to destroy mankind. (IMPORTANT: These conflicts are often intricate, and can be spun anyway. Perhaps a human tries to teach a robot to love, and the result is embarrassing in a comedic way. But do not try to equate people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, people with mental illness or people with severe trauma to these AI. They are extremely discriminated against. Please, do not contribute to the stigma.)

- Person Vs Nature: Often used as a compelling subplot, this kind of conflict is valid when a person is pitted against fauna and flora in a vulnerable state. Eg; A captive who has escaped their bonds only to come upon a harsh landscape. A person with severe allergies visits a place that is opposed to their disposition. A person with a grudge against a famous wild animal who bit off their leg. (IMPORTANT: In many such stories, a trend is that a character comes across a hostile tribal group. These tribes are portrayed only the negative attributes of certain PoC cultures. Doing so is blatantly racist and highly offensive. Please refrain from representing us in such appalling ways.)

- Person Vs Fate/Supernatural: Often used as a primary plot point in fantasy and YA stories and movies, this kind of conflict is valid when a person is threatened or working against a force that is outside nature. Eg; A person coming across a magical artefact belonging to a god, and the devil's henchmen are after it, but it has bonded to them. A lower-level employee working in a tampon factory accidentally discovering their boss is a deadly vampire. A person falling in love, only to discover their partner is heir to a clan of selkies, and their younger sibling plans on overthrowing them. (IMPORTANT: Oftentimes, the villains are given physical and cultural attributes exclusive to PoC and their culture, like the antagonist having dreadlocks or enjoying food that lies outside white cuisine. Please realise that is racist.)

How to create a proper villain:

1. Motive.

Arguably the most important factor in a villain is motive. Their end goal must be reasonable(depends on their moral compass), achievable(depends on their means), and must cause moral conflict in the protagonist.

Eg; Due to childhood trauma, a villain feels weak and unsafe in their own skin. Adopting a terrifying persona, they seek to control everyone around them, and by extension, the world, through a potent hallucinogen. Considered worthless until they design a new identity, the villain is only considered a threat when they overthrow a monarchy/gain obscene amounts of money/create a giant machine. The MC knows that the villain is wrong in their actions, but understands that their henchmen are drugged, and must choose a different course of action than brute force to defeat them.

2. Power/Skill

Expanding on the earlier point of a goal being achievable, a villain must have the capabilities to obtain the prize they desire. If they perform actions outside their means, the entire premise becomes boring and unrealistic. Unless the villain is playing pretend for a future plot twist, humble the antagonist before they get out of hand.

Eg; A machine cannot destroy the world if they do not have an intricate base code if they are not linked to machines around the world. An animal cannot be famous unless its existence is questionable unless it is more mythical than real unless it possesses some quality (a missing tooth, a scar across their eye) that the others of its breed do not have. Kindness cannot be a source of a moral dilemma if it is not shown in many actions of the protagonist.

3. Appearance.

Contrary to popular belief, the way a villain looks contributes greatly to their story. If the appearance of an antagonist does not match their other attributes, the villain may fall flat and feel one-dimensional.

Eg; If a person comes from humbler beginnings, them wearing designer clothes is not feasible. A wealthier person should at least maintain the appearance of being well-groomed, but a few things out of place, such as a tie clip, messy eyeliner, or stubble are acceptable, perhaps due to lack of respect for themselves, or mania from unfulfilled desires. If a plant is secretly venomous, let insects keep away from it. If a werewolf is known to violently transition, let them have a feral look in their eye, larger canines and stronger jawbones.

4. Presence

Outside of appearance, the overall vibe of the villain is of the utmost importance. Their aesthetic instils fear, inspires awe, which is one of the primary things that cause audiences to secretly root for them. Their smooth delivery of scathing, savage lines makes us fall in love with them. Having a stellar, scary presence amplifies whatever the villain does tenfold.

Eg; If a villain wears a daring dress, different from the style of their era, it will make them seem much more impressive. Fresh after a murder, if they have blood splattered on their face, it will make the ghastliness of their actions more resounding. If they're haunting little children, having grotesque features instead of sharp ones will terrify the kids more, and the readers.

5. Backstory

Why did the villain become a villain in the first place? This is perhaps the most important question when it comes to antagonists. Not only do backstories help us understand the villain's motives and reasons better, but readers may also root for them if they glimpse a part of them reflected in the villain, making the tale more painful to read.

Eg; If a bully has been abused at home, it explains their actions. If a villain was in a situation where their body was not theirs, their actions may be born out of a desire for control.

Things to avoid:

1. Do not make them a caricature. Avoid toxic and dull stereotypes such as "catty ex-girlfriend", "sex-crazed womon", "evil old pr*dator" etc. Not only are these caricatures cartoonish and overused, but they also make a villain hollow and lifeless. Villains are humans too, give them quirks, bad habits and things they enjoy, beliefs of their own. (Eg; They enjoy watching cat videos, smoke or bite their nails, enjoy mixing drinks for fun, and think God is a hoax.)

2. Avoid coding them as PoC or LGBTQ+. If you have a diverse cast of various races, ethnicities, sexualities and genders, then it is completely alright to write another such character as the villain. However, if your only minority character is the villain, that is highly problematic.

3. A backstory does not equate to sympathy. If the villain's actions are extremely reprehensible, including and not limited to; r*pe, g*nocide, ab*se or s*rial murder, please do not try to redeem them. Understanding someone's motives is wildly different from making the audiences sympathize with them. Do not romanticize their flaws.

4. Lastly, humble them. A villain will always entertain the audiences if they suffer a bit too. Instead of constant angst and pain, add lighter moments, moments where they stumble, trip, are tired or bored. This would make their eventual death/defeat burn even more, and the audience will definitely mourn the loss of a wonderful antagonist.

Like a volcano, a true villain leaves ashes in their wake, but their fire forces the protagonists to solidify into stone. Let their actions echo into the age.

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #writing #writer #writing tips #writing advice #am writing #tumblr writers #writing community #villians #antagonist #evil #backstory #writing tricks #writing help #okay im done

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danielleslegacy · 5 years ago

Text

Soulmates || Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

MASTERLIST

Request: yes / no (but they are open always)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Summary: Just a wedding fic, that no one asked for bahaha, but yes, wedding.

Word Count: 2,404

Warnings: it is just fluff that is all, its tooth-rotting, you’ve been warned.

Pairing: fem!Reader insert x Spencer Reid

All writing is my own, so please don’t steal this. Also, I would appreciate any feedback/comments/requests! xx

*GIF IS NOT MINE SO CREDIT GOES TO THE OWNER*

I smooth my hands down the front of the laced front of my dress, casting my eyes back up to the mirror in front of me. Makeup done in such a beautiful way that my eyes pop, the soft blush that lays on my cheeks making me seem younger and more innocent than I am. Behind me I notice people walking into my dressing room.

“Oh Y/n,” the voice of one Emily Prentiss says, causing me to turn to face her, “You look absolutely gorgeous.”

My eyes flash over the girls quickly, their beautiful dresses, similar but not the same, adorning their bodies. My eyes fill with tears as I let out a soft laugh. “Thank you Em.”

“That boy is going to die watching you walk down the aisle in that,” Penelope gushes, her own voice thick with unshed tears. The group lets out a laugh.

“Thank you for being here,” I say, reaching my hands out to hold the sides on JJ and Penelope, as they are standing on the outside of Emily, “I just wish my parents were here too, you know?”

The girls nod, “They are here, Y/n, they’re always with you.” JJ says, giving my arm and encouraging squeeze.

“Alright no crying missy, we’ve got a wedding to do,” Eemily says offering me a tissue, which I take and dab underneath my eyes softly. I let out a breath and turn back to the mirror, admiring my dress one last time, with a firm nod of my head, I turn to the dresser and pick up a bracelet.

“I need some help with this part,” I confess, holding out the bracelet and my wrist to the girls, JJ takes it and clasps it. A multitude of pendants hang off it, each one for a different person in my life.

“It’s beautiful, was it from boy wonder?” Penelope asks, obviously catching onto one of the charms on the bracelet, a silver book, it was tiny but it was there.

I nod my head, a smile coming to my lips, “A wedding present, you guys are on here too.” I say gesturing to the four leaf clover. “The whole team is on here,” a small set of handcuffs on the other side of the clover, a reference to our job. “Mum and Dad too,” I say, finally pointing to the two angels.

A soft knock at the door frame draws us out of our bubble, “Sorry to interrupt ladies, but it's time,” Hotch’s face is painted with guilt at having to pull us away. A wave of anxiety rushes over me, but it’s gone almost as quickly as it came, and it’s replaced by pure excitement, excitement at the fact that it’s finally time to marry my soulmate.

The girls slip out the door sending words of encouragement, and waves as they exited.

“How do I look, boss?” I ask doing a twirl for Hotch, my dress spiraling around me. I stop back to face him and he has a wide, proud, grin on his face. He gives me a nod in response.

“You ready?” He asks, extending a hand out towards me, which I take readily.

“Yes,” I put simply, it was an easy answer because yes, i am ready to marry Spencer, i am ready to start the rest of my life with the person that i cannot live without. We walk down a hallway in Rossi’s house and just before we walk out and into the garden, we stop. Rossi had offered his house as the venue once again, as it was practically assumed that after JJ’s wedding to Will that Spencer and I would inevitably marry here too. I’m not in view of the group yet, but I can see the garden, lit up in beautiful lights, and a few seats scattered around the yard. Lanterns litter the grass, like the scene from Tangled. A fairytale coming to life.

The music begins, a classical wedding march, a giggle erupting from my chest. “In a few minutes I’m going to be married, Hotch,” I say as he opens the door for us to walk out of.

“Yes, yes you are Y/n.”

We step out on the lawn and I feel everyone's eyes on me, but my eyes are only focused on the end of the aisle, only on Spencer. His beautiful all black suit makes him appear even taller than normal, and his hair is styled to perfection. His eyes shine with tears, and in that moment my refill again. I continue walking, my smile staying spread across my lips, and when I eventually meet the end of the isle, I give Hotch a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you Aaron,” I say softly. The kiss is returned and he places my hand in Spencer’s.

“You have something truly magical,” He says, taking a step back to join the rest of our team. No, our family. For the first time I looked over all of their faces, all red and tear filled.

From beside me Rossi clears his throat, “Welcome, Welcome everybody, we are all here today to celebrate the union of two beautiful people.”

My eyes gather with tears and I flick them up to Spencer’s, his own filled too. I squeeze his hands, my excitement evident on my face.

“We have all watched these two souls find one another against all odds. I’m sure Spencer could tell you the odds of their meeting, and I asked him once, and he told me that day that it’s a 1 in 10,000 chance that he would meet his soulmate. To which I followed up by asking him, and she’s the one right, kid? The boy just nodded his head. Later that same week I asked Y/n if she believed in soulmates,” He lets out a little chuckle, “See what I did there? She didn’t really answer me, but she did look over at the doctor and smiled. I knew what she meant by that. I am by no means an expert on marriage or soulmates.”

“Ain't that a fact,” Derek mutters from the small group, referencing the italian’s multiple divorces and we erupt into a fit of laughter. My shoulders shake with laughter and tears fall down my cheeks. Spencer’s eyes focus only on me, his own shining with tears, and I can tell that he knows that this is a memory that he will be looking over for years to come. His fingers dance along my wrists and connect with the bracelet.

“What are you gonna do?” Rossi continues with a shrug once the group is quiet,”But as I was saying. I am no expert, but you don’t need to be to know that these two souls were made for one another. They share this deep and beautiful understanding of one another, their differences and similarities. The two truly complete one another. I am so lucky to have been able to watch your love blossom from an awkward mutual pining to what I see before me today. I am also honored to be able to marry you to one another. So without further ado, let’s get to the important part. You have both prepared vows, Y/n, you first.”

I nod my head excitedly, my smile widening as if that was even possible, “So like Rossi, I also asked you the odds of us meeting, and I got the same answer. Only, I asked you after our first date, we had probably known each other for six months at that point, eating ice cream in my apartment while watching Hercules. And it was that day that I fell for you. You couldn’t just sit and watch the movie, you kept telling me facts about ancient greece and greeks gods and goddesses, and I knew that I only wanted to experience movies with you being able to tell me about them.” His eyes twinkle and a tear slips down his cheek, I raise my hand up to wipe it away, “That night I called my mum, and i told her that I had met the man I was going to marry,” My voice catches in my throat, “I told her all about you and how you made me feel and she told my dad, and they both instantly loved you, because i was happy and excited.”

His finger toys with the bracelet on my wrist, tears streaking his face. “And Spence, if they had met you, I know that they would be all about me marrying you. So my vow to you is to always love and savour every moment we have together, and to never go to sleep angry, and to listen to you always. I also promise to take care of you and to love you forever.”

Spencer unlinks a hand from mine holding up his pinky to which I link mine around it, letting out a watery laugh.

Tears fall from my eyes, when Spencer begins his own vows.

“I am a man of science and logic and numbers and facts.” He begins, “When you start falling in love, your brain releases chemicals like vasopressin, adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin that light up your neural receptors and make you feel both pleasure and a euphoric sense of purpose. That’s the facts of what love is. And before you, that was an easy enough understanding. I had thought I knew what love felt like. But falling in love with you was unlike anything I have ever experienced before in my entire life. And it took me so incredibly long to figure out why. It’s because all logic went out the window. My first and last thought every day was of you, I worried about you constantly and I could not figure out why. But then I noticed that I just wanted to be around you all the time and I didn't want you away from me. And then I got it. Love, this was falling in love. All those other times in my life where i thought i was experiencing love were test drives in comparison to falling in love with you. So today I vow to you, to continually throw logic away and to love you with all of my being for as long as life permits it. And if the Buddists are right, then the meeting was actually 500 years in the making, and I promise to you that in 500 years I will find you again.”

“Oh Spence,” I whisper to no one by him, reaching up to try to wipe the tears off my cheeks.

“This ceremony will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you. It is a symbol of how far you have come in these past few years. It is a symbol of the promises you will make to each other and continue growing stronger as individuals and as partners. No matter what challenges you face, no matter how much you succeed, you now succeed together. The love between you joins you now as one. Now for the exchanging of rings,” Rossi states, handing us each other's rings.

"Y/n, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love," Spencer says softly, slipping it onto my fourth finger.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, my faith in our strength together, and my covenant to learn and grow with you,” I reply, sliding the plain gold band onto his fourth finger.

Rossi clears his throat, “You two are officially the first members to marry within the BAU, you may now kiss.”

My smile only widens, as my hands reach up to cup his face softly, and my lips press to his. I feel the corners of his mouth lift in a smile. From behind my closed eyelids I see a flash, but I take no notice lost in the kiss with my now husband. Our lips move against one another, he dips us down slowly yet romantically,, and once we pull apart I miss it, so I quickly press my lips to his and then move back. My smile permanently on my face. The others are clapping and hollering from around us. It is then that I finally notice the camera grasped in Penelope's hand and I’m already so grateful for the pictures that she must have been taking.

My eyes flick back to Spence, “We’re married.”

“Yes we are,” He grins, wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around. The group lets out a chorus of laughs and Rossi’s voice breaks through. “Now we eat.”

We share a beautiful meal, some pasta that I assume Dave made and the conversation flows freely.

“Remember when you called me on your way to your first date with Y/n?” Morgan teases, “You were so nervous that I actually debated calling an ambulance to make sure you didn’t have a heart attack.”

The group laughs once more and Spencer buries his head into the crook of my neck, clearly embarrassed, “Yeah, well I had reason to be.”

“Oh wait, that reminds me,” JJ begins, “Y/n called me the day Spence finally asked her out, and you guys, I wish you had been able to hear the excitement in her voice. I know I’m a profiler, but you didn’t need to be to see that the girl was already crazy for him.”

I let out a soft giggle, reminiscing on that day, and I bring up mine and Spencer's conjoined hands and press my lips to his.

The soft sounds of Jason Mraz’s ‘I Won’t Give Up’ begins to chime through the air, I stand up, and pull Spencer along with me.

“Dance with me?” I ask him, and he just nods in reply, pulling me in closer to him. One of his hands rests on my hip and the other encloses mine. I rest my head onto his chest, I can hear the stop patter of his heart beat, as we sway together. He unloops our fingers, and my arms wrap around his waist and his other hand falls in my hair, holding me as close as possible. I feel so protected by the man who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

TagList (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

@saucybeeches

#spence #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Reid #Criminal Minds AU #david rossi #aaron hotch hotchner #emily prentiss #jj #jennifer jareau #derek morgan x spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #Spencer ried x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader

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