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anakinsang3l · 3 months ago

Text

9:39 p.m.

Stoner! Anakin Skywalker x Stressed out reader!

Summary: Anakin Skywalker definitely smokes his weight in weed, but he’s got a hobby that keeps him busy every night besides that :O

includes: SMUT!, weed, Anakin is a very lovey boy in this

WC: 5,934

A.N. - holy SHIT it’s here! I would like to include reference vids and stuff but DAMN maybe I’ll have to do twitter link post. Anyways I hope you enjoy!

Finishing up your last few client files, you glanced at your watch.

9:39 p.m., it read.“Shit.”

The long, grueling day had made you tired and maybe just a tad bit hungry, hangry, honestly. Your best bet was stopping by the corner store just down the hill from your apartment. Why? Bi-weekly pay had you starving by the second week because, god damn, if inflation wasn’t a son of a bitch. After hurriedly packing up your stuff, you headed out and started your car, sighing into the driver’s seat, relieved to be out of the office. Really, on most days, it was too much.

Peeling out of the parking lot, you started on your way. 15 minutes later, you could just make out the telltale sign of the little corner store. Bright red and orange lights flashed at you, reading “Cigars, Cigarettes, Tobacco, and more!” You always wondered what the “and more!” could possibly mean.

Then there was Anakin. Tall, lanky ol’ Anakin. Leaning up against the wall just beside the entrance, you could tell he was smoking a joint. He was a regular at the corner store, usually hanging out at night. No sense or idea as to why Anakin was always there; for all you could guess, it was the insomniac in him. You only guessed because you were an insomniac yourself. Though for whatever reason it may be, no matter how many times he tried to weasel his way into your pants when you’d come by, his presence always brought you a sense of calm. Looking at him now, though, you could understand why every woman who walked into the store threw themselves at him first before they entered. He’s a very handsome man, you’ll give him that. His curly, tussled, dirty blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and muscles you couldn’t tell he had until you were standing right next to him (sleeper build much?!). He wore black, loose-fitting slacks, a dark gray sweatshirt, and white crew socks with the original old-school vans. Handsome man indeed.

As you were getting out of your car, Anakin walked up to greet you.

“Hey, Angel Face.”

You nodded your head “Anakin.”

“Awh, what’s the matter, love? Why the ‘tude?”

“Nothing. Could ya stop yapping and let me go inside the store, please?”

“Only because you asked nicely.” Stepping out of the way, he let you make your way into the store.

Inside the store, you beelined it to the frozen section for ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream never did you wrong. Chip aisle came next. Xxxtra Hot Cheetos and Sabritones never did you wrong, either. On to the candy! Sour Punch Bites and, last but not least, dark chocolate Rolos. As you were walking back from the candy aisle, you stopped by the refrigerated drinks to grab a strawberry banana body armor and a GIANT essential water. After what seemed like a million years (it was 2 minutes) of standing in line for checkout, you set your stuff down on the counter and looked up at the cashier expectantly. As he started to scan the items, you felt the tingling feeling of being watched. You brushed it off because, hello? You were in a corner store; anyone could be staring at you.

You didn’t know that Anakin Skywalker had his eyes on you the entire time from the moment you stepped into the store. Bad intentions? Never. Yes, he knew he could be a bit creepy from time to time, but can you blame him? You’re you, and he’s him. He smokes a lot of weed, and you’re gorgeous; that’s his excuse anyway. You’re intriguing, and he is thoroughly intrigued, to say the least. While every other girl threw themselves at Anakin, you did not. You kept your distance, and that made him wonder about you. So, every night for the last 3 months, Anakin has been coming to the corner store to look at your pretty face and watch you. Again, it's weird, and he knows it, but you’re just too cute not to. When you’d come home from work in your skirts and button-ups or slacks and a pretty blouse, he was on his knees, just begging for a crumb of your attention. Most of the time, he could grab it, but there were a select few moments when he couldn’t, and his mood would plummet to the depths of hell. Whatever it was about you, he was severely attached.

The cashier finished bagging everything up and handed the bag and receipt to you. You took it with excitement and made your way out to your car. Heading home to go snuggle up in bed with your favorite snacks, a joint, a blanket, and your favorite show sounded like a great idea, that was until a certain someone’s slightly scratchy voice called out to you.

“No goodbye? I thought we were closer than that, Angel.”

“Goodbye, Ani.”

“What did you just call me?”

Oh fuck. SHIT. You just let the nickname only you had given Anakin slip right in front of him. He had still been puffing on the joint from when you went inside, but those movements have since stilled.

“Could ya say that again for me, love? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I said Goodbye, Anakin.”

“Nice try, baby; that absolutely was not what you said.”

At this point, you had no idea how Anakin had already made it to your driver's side door, where you had been standing and caged against your car.

“Please say it again.”

He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning against your lashes for every word that he spoke, and the smell of weed and peppermints permeated your nostrils. The combination of those two scratched your brain in a way that sentbutterflies straight to your core without a second thought.

“Ani”

“Fuck Angel, can I touch you?”

“Yes, please.”

Anakin’s hands moved from the side of the door to the base of your hips, immediately pulling you flush against him. From there, his hands traveled up the sides of your hips all the way up to your chest and back down again.

He was losing his mind. No way he got to touch you like this AND while he was blazed out of his mind? Fuck yeah. He then moved to say something in your ear, dangerously close to your neck.

“I’m gonna kiss you right here *kiss* and right here *kiss* aaaannnndddddd right here *kiss* mkay Angel?”

“Okay, Ani.”

Under his breath, you heard a quiet fuck after saying that, which may have slightly boosted your ego. He was essentially devouring your neck. Kisses, licks, and bites all over. In the corner store’s parking lot, which, yes, in a way, could be hot, but not right now.

“Ani”

“Hmm?”

“Can we go somewhere that’s not the parking lot of the corner store? Please”

He lightly chuckled at that and then pulled you around to your passenger door and opened it for you.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’ll drive us to my place; I imagine it’s much closer than yours.”

“I’m literally like 5 minutes down the road”

“And I’m 2, so who wins?”

“Whatever”

Getting into the passenger seat of your own car felt weird. Never had you EVER let anyone else drive your car, yet here we are with Anakin driving down the road to his apartment. It wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest, though. Sure, there has always been some sort of tension between you two, but never enough to scare you away.

Not even 2 whole minutes went by and you guys were already pulling into the parking lot of his apartment.

“You ready?”

There was, however, an excitement in his voice that you were unsure about.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s sir to you, actually.”

“Okay, sir.”

You had said that with a slight sarcasm and chuckled about it, but Anakin was far from in a laughing mood right now.

“I mean it.”

“Okay, my bad.”

“You’re fine.”

You couldn’t tell if things were fine by the slight annoyance still in his voice, but you brushed it off and got out of the car. He quickly followed suit and came over to grab your hand, leading you along. His apartment was on the second story, but somehow, his apartment was the very top one, so essentially, there is a person below the person who is below him? It's too confusing for you right now.

Anakin fished his keys from his back pocket, his hand just barely trembling. You made him nervous, and now he was bringing you into his space. What the fuck was he thinking?! He wasn’t, well…he was, but you know, definitely not with his brain. Walking in, he quickly flicked on the light to the right to give it some illumination. He had to admire his cleanliness because the look on your face was priceless. You really didn’t expect him to be clean? Heart hurts. Anyways, on to the good stuff.

From what you could see, Anakin was one of the cleanest men you had ever met. The only other man who could possibly be as clean was your father. He had drilled it into you from a young age that a clean space makes for a happy mind.Somehow, that line of his still made it into your daily life, even though he does not. Anyways, the setup of his apartment was cute. He had 2 bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and a dining room, all with furniture to his liking, and a washer and dryer were tucked away in his hallway closet. Most of the furniture was either dark gray or dark gray-blue. A select few of his things were a pretty gray-purple hue, but only a couple. From this, you could tell he seemed to like the darker colors of the color wheel. In his living room, there was a beautiful rug that looked like a starry night, and on top of that, the gray-blue couch with a coffee table in front of it. Then, in front of the coffee table, there was a large flatscreenmounted to the wall in the perfect spot. It all flowed so well together; mind you, let’s ignore the sheer amount of bongs and dab rigs he had CRUNCHED together under the coffee table.

“Wow.”

“Huh?”

“Wasn’t expecting you to be this clean.”

“Is that a compliment, Angel?”

“Yeah, you're welcome. Anyway, let me just point out to you that your BONGS are being CRUNCHED under the coffee table. Why are you treating them like that?!”

“Geez, you care more about my bongs than I do. Hold on, do you smoke???”

The question, combined with his tone, had you gasping for air because this was just too good.

“What’s so funny?”

“All this time, and you never had a clue!”

You still couldn’t contain your laughter. For the last 3 months that Anakin had been at the corner store, there were only a select few times where you had shown up sober. The convenience of your penjamin right after work was too good. Plus, everyone had always told you growing up that your eyes immediately gave it away, so how could he not have known? Either way, at this point, you were so down to have a smoke sesh with him.

Anakin was… flabbergasted, to say the least. He couldn’t believe that for the last three months, he had no idea you were a secret smoker. Was he pissed? Absolutely. Why? Because he could’ve had you over here much sooner than this had he known. God. All he knows now is that he has to savor this moment for however long he possibly fucking can.

Anakin headed into the kitchen real quick while you were still recovering from laughing so hard and came back with a lighter and a torch.

“Dabs, bong, or blunt?”

“Blunt definitely”

“Mmmkay, Angel face, I’ll have to roll it real quick; you alright with waiting?”

“Always”

Ani walked back to his room, and you decided to take your shoes off and plop down on his couch. It was pretty comfy, no lie. He came back not even a whole minute later with his jar of weed, rolling tray, wraps, and grinder. He sat down next to you, lifted your legs up, and placed them in his lap. You didn’t realize till now, but he had taken his shoes off a long timeago and was now just in his socks, pants, and sweater. God did he look sexy. He was focused on grinding the weed, his fingers moving in a fluid motion to break it up and set it in the grinder. Fuck. You wondered what his fingers could possibly feel like inside you. After twisting it a couple of times, he then took the bottom half off of the grinder and started to fill the wraps with weed. Once it was full enough to his liking, he grabbed the wrap and began to lick it. His tongue darted out and started moving it along the wrap, he could’ve just moved the wrap along his tongue, but no. Instead, he moved his tongue against the wrap, purposely being a perv, but could you really blame him. His sexiness cancels it out. His tongue moved first in small circles, but then he started to drag it nastily along the wrap with no shame. He was being a purposeful tease, and you knew it. Was it enjoyable? Incredibly. He knows exactly what he’s doing and has no shame about it.

“You’re staring, you know that right?”

“Yeah, you’re kinda making it hard not to.”

He chuckled at that and proceeded to roll the blunt until it was a perfect cylinder, then grabbed the lighter from the table to seal it. Quickly flicking it with his thumb, the lighter came alight and Anakin, the smooth man he was, had the blunt sealed and ready to light in less than 30 seconds. He turned to you with it and had you hold it in your mouth.

“Here, purse your lips so you don’t get it too wet, not that I mind.”

He said the last part a little quieter, but you still heard him.

Pursing your lips, you now held the blunt in between them, waiting for him to light it.

The familiar flicking sound of the lighter came, and then there was the burn. You had inhaled the moment he set flame to the end of the blunt, knowing it was going to hurt, but you still puffed it quickly. After doing that, Anakin promptly reached over to snatch it from your mouth. Immediately, your coughing fit started, and you felt a hand on your lower back start rubbing soothing circles, and for some reason, it seemed to help. It was Anakin’s hand, of course, and he was not stopping, even though you had stopped coughing a long time ago.

“Hey love, you okay?”

“Yeah I’m good, thanks”

“Okay, is it alright if I try something with you? All you have to do is have your mouth slightly parted and inhale when I tap ya twice, pretty easy. Are you up for it doll?”

“Is it gonna hurt, Ani?”

“No, of course not, Angel, at least it shouldn’t.”

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Anakin watched as you slightly parted your mouth while hitting the blunt. Horrendously seductive that one. He stared and stared real hard, his drag lasting almost 30 seconds. Then he leaned in and grabbed your chin oh so gently and pressed his lips to yours. Tapping you twice, you then followed his instructions and inhaled. Your lungs had felt like there were coalsburning in them at this point, but you just couldn’t get enough of it. His lips were so soft and smooth, you hadn’t noticed earlier, but he also tasted like how he smelled, peppermints and weed.

Anakin pulled away with absolute agony on his part, staring at the obscene amount of saliva connecting the two of your lips just from shotgunning the hit to you, holay. He was losing his marbles. Every single thought that might’ve been rational went out the window, and he dove straight for your lips. His kisses were sloppy and messy at first, then turned into slow, passionate ones with him slowly exploring your mouth with his tongue.

He honestly couldn’t believe what was happening. Every single night he had hoped it would happen and thank the fucking Makers it did. He needed to be inside you, right now that was his tongue in your mouth, and it definitely wasn’t enough.More, so, so, so much more. If he could get this far then indeed he could find ways to slip inside you that wouldn’t be tohard;).

Truly, Anakin’s dick was so hard, that it is all he could think about. He fully pulled you on to his lap so that you straddledhim. Immediately, he grabbed both of your hips and rolled them towards him, moaning during the process.

“F-fuck.”

He kept up with this motion, starting out slow, waiting on his speed to gauge your reaction. To you, the slow pace felt achingly good on your clit, even if you were still in your slacks. A little bit more speed would’ve been nice, and Anakin picked up on that, starting to move faster.

“H-Hah feels good Ani”

“I’m glad Angel, it f-feels so good for me too”

Was Anakin wrong? Absolutely not. He was a sucker for dry humping, but was he going to blow his load before he even got inside you? Another absolutely not. But, goddamn, you were so fucking beautiful. This was something straight out of his wet dreams, unfolding right in front of him. If it weren’t for the self-discipline he’d built up from edging himself over and over again, he’d be in serious trouble. He picked up the pace, determined to get you there first. Every time you rocked back and forth on his dick, he thrust his hips up in search of your clit, hoping to find that perfect spot. Judging by the gasps and whimpers slipping from your lips, he had to be right. Music to his ears.

“Annnniii—uhnnhh—pleaseee,” you moaned, voice breaking apart as pleasure overtook you.

“Please what, Angel?”

He whispered it so close to your ear that your entire body shuddered. He had no idea you had a voice kink, that his low, teasing murmur so close would send a dangerous jolt straight to your core.

“Please, faster—fuck!”

“Mmmkay.”

He smirked, complying, picking up the rhythm, each thrust punctuated to push you over the edge while holding himself back. His self-restraint was crumbling, but he didn’t care how desperate he looked right now. He needed you to cum. That was his only mission.

The rough friction of his cock against your soaked cunt sent shivers up your spine. He was relentless, bucking up at the perfect time, moving in sync with you, hands gripping your hips so tight they’d leave bruises. Then, he pushed you down just a little harder than before, and that was it—you were gone.

“Hnnmmmm—Ani—'m cumming!”

“Fuck—just for me,” he groaned, voice wrecked, feeling your body convulse in his arms.

The two of you were panting, bodies still tangled together. His face nuzzled into your neck, his lips soft as they ghosted over your sweat-slicked skin, whispering praise in between kisses.

“Need you inside me. Please.”

He lifted his head just enough to meet your gaze, pupils blown wide, dark with need. “You read my mind.”

Lifting you effortlessly, he made sure your legs were wrapped tight around him as he carried you to his bedroom. The space was dimly lit, dark gray walls adorned with posters and paintings, an organized chaos that somehow suited him perfectly. And then there was his bed. Neatly made, deep gray sheets, a purple comforter—clean and tasteful. Attractive.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. On a work night, no less.

He laid you down gently, peeling off his sweatshirt, and—fuck. Even in the dim light, you could see the way his muscles flexed, veins running down his forearms, the defined cuts of his abs tightening under his shirt as he moved.

Jesus.

You tried not to stare. Failed.

“Staring again, Angel?”

“You already know the answer.”

He chuckled, low and knowing. “What’s so funny?” you asked, lips curling into a pout.

His smile softened. He leaned in, foreheads nearly touching, his breath warm against your lips. “Because I still can’t believe you’re here with me.”

Your breath hitched as he kissed your forehead, then your nose, then each cheek—slow, tender, reverent. When his lips finally met yours, the kiss was so soft, so unhurried, it made your head spin. He took his time, savoring the way you melted into him. When he nipped at your bottom lip, then dipped his tongue past the seam of your lips, you let him. Let him make a mess of you.

His hands found your lower back, then dipped beneath the waistband of your slacks.

“Can I?”

“Mhmm.”

He traced his fingers along the fabric teasingly before gripping your ass with both hands, kneading shamelessly. His touch sent a bolt of heat straight to your core. He made quick work of sliding your slacks down, pausing to tap your thigh as a silent cue to help shimmy them off. When they pooled at your ankles, he rid himself of his own shirt, leaving both of you in just your underwear.

Pulling you into his lap, he rolled his hips against you, cock grinding against your soaked panties. You gasped into his mouth, gripping his shoulders as the pressure built between your legs.

He pulled away just enough to whisper against your lips, “Are you sure you wanna do this, Angel?”

“Yes, Ani—can we get there already?”

“No.” His smirk was devilish. “I take my time, and you’re going to have to deal with it.”

You huffed, and just as he expected, you tried to glare at him. But before you could open your mouth to protest, he bucked his hips up—hard. A sharp, unexpected thrust that had you choking on your own breath.

“Hnngghh—please—please, Ani—”

“Please what, Princess? Use your words.”

You leaned in close, pressing your lips to the shell of his ear, letting your breath ghost over his skin. His grip on your hips tightened.

“Anakin,” you murmured, voice low, desperate. “If you’re not inside me in the next three minutes, I will leave you here so we both have to suffer. I need you that badly. Please, Ani—put it inside me.”

That was it. That was his breaking point.

He had two choices: let you leave or fuck you into the mattress.

Like there was ever a real choice.

Without hesitation, he flipped you onto your back, his body pressing you into the mattress, caging you in. His mouth trailed down your neck, then your stomach, then lower. He hooked a single finger under the waistband of your panties, pulling the fabric away from your skin before letting it snap back into place. The sharp sting made you gasp. He did it again. Then again, watching the way your thighs trembled beneath him.

“You like that, huh?” he mused, voice thick with amusement.

You only whimpered in response. He made a mental note.

Then, with agonizing slowness, he dragged your panties down your legs, fingertips barely grazing your skin as he went. When he finally yanked them off completely, he wasted no time spreading your legs apart. His lips ghosted over the soft skin of your inner thigh, open-mouthed kisses leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

The shift in atmosphere was palpable.

His voice was soft when he spoke. “Angel.”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you alright with me touching you here?”

His fingers skimmed over your slick heat, barely making contact, tapping against your sensitive folds like it was second nature.

“Mhm—yes, please.”

“Whatever you say, pretty girl.”

And then he was gone, diving between your legs like a starved man, making a mess of you with his tongue.

“Fuck, this pussy is so pretty.”

And that was just the beginning.

His kisses were sloppy,spit and some tongue, but boy did it fucking feel good. Immediately, your hands found his hair, pulling hard, and your breaths became ragged. You started to whimper loudly which was like music to his ears and he had to hear more, needed it really. So, using his tongue, he flattened it against your pussy and licked a stripe up until the tip of his tongue hit your clit. Then came the assault on your clit. Getting straight to it, Anakin circled his tongue over and over and over again, sometimes using a bit of force to press on it with his tongue, and sucking it in between his lips hard.

“H-Huahhh Ani too much”

“Hmm” lifting his head up to look at you, and damn, the image he created was obscene. There was slick all around his mouth and even the tip of his nose. His lips were bright pink and swollen, but fuck did he look hot like this.

“By the look on your face, doll, it seems you want more.”

With that he went down and used his teeth, just once, to grab your clit gently and that’s what did it for you.

“Hnngggghhh Ani! mm cumming”

“Fuck give it to me all Angel”

All the built up tension in your core finally released, it wasn’t squirting by any means, but Anakin had just made you cum just by sucking on your clit. You’ve had plenty of men try to please you with that, and they never could, but Anakin? He did it in less than 5 minutes.

“Damn doll, for someone who seems like such a prude, you absolutely don’t sound like one” with that comment he lightly smooched you and started trailing his up and down your sides.

“How are you feeling pretty?”

“So good because of you mister”

“Well how about I make you feel even better, how’s that sound?”

“I could get behind that.”

“Yeah, I’ll be hitting it behind you for sure.”

His snarky little comment made you giggle, which had him cheesing from ear to ear. He was so down bad for you it wasn’t even funny. You were just so beautiful and sweet, he couldn’t help it. And he couldn’t help it even if he wanted to, you’re in his bed halfway naked and begging for more? How could this man say no to you? He can’t.

“Ani you’re staring”

“Not allowed to admire?”

“Absolutely you can, just later. Not when I need you inside of me.”

“Whatever you say baby”

Anakin then grabbed your ankles and pulled you to his crotch. The downfall for him of being somewhat aggressive with it is that when he pulled you to his crotch, you immediately could feel how hard he was. Extremely. Were you proud you could make him that hard? Absolutely. Were you now going to use this information to your benefit? Yep again.

“Fuck Ani pleaseee. I need it inside of me now.”

“Okay okay okay. I’ll put it in Angel since you’re begging so nicely.”

Anakin pulled down his sweats and boxers just below his dick. And the sight of it had you drooling. He wasn’t small by any means, but he wasn’t too big either, honestly just right. You just knew his dick was gonna feel so good inside you:>

“Okay baby are you ready”

“Mhmmm”

“Mkay”

He first spit on your pussy and kissed it, then he shifted so that his dick was sitting in between your folds, his tip hitting your clit again, and began humping against you at a decent pace.

“Ahh f-fuck baby, why does your pussy gotta be so wet for me. So.fuckin.good”

Those last three words he made it a point to thrust extra hard against your clit. He could feel you trying to grip down on tosomething, but nothin was filling you up. It’s okay though because that’s what Anakin is here for. To make his pretty girl feel good and to fill her up. Of course, only if she wants him to.

Feeling you clench down on nothing was Anakin’s final straw. Sliding back down to your entrance, he slowly pushed his tip in while thrusting slowly to test the waters.

“Mmgghh faster Ani, need it”

You were too lost in the feeling of him thrusting into you to comprehend anything, other than that you needed to feel more. The drag of his tip along your walls genuinely had you losing your mind. You could feel him just barely abt to slip all the way out, and that’s when you wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him towards you. He was not expecting that, so he fell forward, catching himself so close that both of your faces could touch.

“Hhah f-fuck Angel what-“

“Please, I need you to move faster and go deeper.”

“A man can’t take his time?”

“No, not wi-”

Anakin shut you up with a particularly harsh thrust, so hard you felt it in your throat. And another after that, only this time he went a tiny bit slower, like he was looking for a reaction. The slow and hard thrusts were continuous, knocking the breath out of your lungs so much that all you could do was whimper for him. Eventually, you understood why he had looked like he was looking for a reaction from you because the minute he found it, you screamed, and he became the absolute devil himself. Thrusting in the exact same spot, he did it harder.

“Hhhhhhmnnnnnnnn ANI”

No response. The only thing you heard was skin slapping against skin and fuck was that sound obscene, but so were the sounds coming from your pussy. Anakin was pleasing her oh so good and focusing on that was all that mattered to him right now. You felt his tip hit that spongy spot in your pussy again and fuck it felt amazing

“Hhhuuhh O-Oh ‘mgonna cum soon Ani”

“Huh uh. You will wait for me.”

He still wasn’t stopping his assault on your G-spot.

“A-Ani, please ‘m so close”

And then all of it stopped.

“NO, no, no, no, Anakin, what th-“

“I told you that you weren’t cumming without me Angel face. Sorry…but not really.”

Your brain was mush at this point, only thinking about cumming for Anakin. You had to listen to him because finishing was all you were focused on right now.

While he waited for you to calm down, Anakin ran out into the living room, coming back with what you could only assume was the blunt in his mouth. Grabbing the lighter from the nightstand, he lit it, inhaled, climbed on top of you, and blew the smoke in your face.

“Here, something to calm you down, sweets.”

“Hmph”

“Hmmm hmm hmm, we can hmmm all night long, or you can be a good girl and listen to me. Which would you rather?”

“The second one”

“That’s what I thought; now open your mouth, pretty please.”

“Mmkay”

You let your mouth hang open while Anakin fiddled with something in his hands; he then leaned over your face, his messy curls tickling your face, and pressed his lips so gently to yours.

*Tap *Tap

His indicator was for you to inhale, and you did like his good girl. Then, without any warning, he slid back into you to the base, making you choke on the smoke. Pounding into you with no avail made your brain go back to mush. Fuck why did he have to know exactly where your G-spot was? He kept hitting it over and over, feeling you clench deliciously around him. The sounds coming from your pussy being assaulted with his thrusts was obscene. Wet and sticky slapping sounds and Anakin’s occasional huffs and groans. You had a thing for him, and this position only made it worse. Missionary was all you had been in tonight, but damn was it underrated as fuck.

“A-Ani hhuh, need you. Need to hear you”

“I h-hah need you too baby, fuck please j-just wait a little longer.”

“Hhah okay”

After hearing your response, as if his thrusts couldn’t be any fucking faster, he went hard. So hard that you had to hold on to him with your legs and his bed frame was hitting the wall horrendously. With your mind occupied fully, your head fell backwards, mouth lolling open, just letting out the most sinful of moans for Anakin to hear.

Meanwhile, Anakin was trying his best not to cum on the spot from how loud you got just from him going faster. He needed to hear those moans from you, he was already fucking addicted to the sounds your pussy makes for him just from hitting it, now the sounds are coming from your mouth? He’s cooked. He couldn’t help, but let out a couple of moans himself, some high pitched, because Jesus Christ if your pussy wasn’t the best thing he’s ever gotten to experience. You’re so warm and wet, just for him<3 He could feel the familiar tingle in his spine from hitting it so good, he just needed you to finish first. Finding your g-spot once more, he finished his assault right there.”

“HH-hhunnnnngghhh ANI ‘s too much too much too much”

“Huh uh I know it is. not. Angel. You can’t feel her clenching around me/ She just wants me to keep going doll, I assume you do too?

“Huhhhhnnghhh fuck mmhm’

“That’s what I thought”

Continuing his assault, Anakin didn’t know how much longer he could last with the vice grip that your pussy had on him. He surely knew you wouldn’t last much longer because of the way your body kept convulsing to his touch, anywhere. On your tummy, your thighs, or your arms you immediately flinched like he shocked you, and that’s how he knew. Using one hand to lean himself up against the bed frame, he used the other to snake down to your clit and rub tight hard circles.

“Come on baby, I know you’re close’

“H-Hah Ani oh fuckfuckfuckfuck”

“Mhm, let me hear you Angel”

His movements had your tummy feeling so knotted that the second he touched your clit and started making circles, you were done for. You came on his dick with a scream, clenching so hard around Anakin that he damn near was right there with you. He couldn’t help but let you finish because god you looked divine like that. He lost it when your pussy clenched around him so tight that it felt like you were never gonna let go.

“Fffffuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkk Angel, where do you want it?”

“Inside me please”

“Mmmmkay sweets”

Anakin thrust 3 more times and finished with a guttural groan. His hips were still moving though and he just couldn’t stop, the feeling of overstimulation making him whimper. The sound had you wanting to go again, but your body was too exhausted, your eyes beginning to flutter shut with Anakin still inside of you<3

You awoke to the warmth surrounding you, realizing you were in the bathtub filled with water, leaning up against Anakin’s chest.

“Hey sleepyhead, how do you feel?”

“Hmm good. Real good.”

You snuggled up against him, the warmth of the water and his chest lulling you back into sleep.

“You’re so beautiful. My precious pretty girl.”

And with that, you let yourself fall back asleep into your pretty boy’s arms. :)

#stoner! anakin #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #star wars anakin #star wars #anakin x fem reader #hes so fine #anakin x you #anakin x reader #sw anakin #star wars stuff #i will never shut up abt this man #hayden christensen appreciation #need him #need it #anakin smut #smut #star wars smut

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blueskittlesart · 4 months ago

Note

I don't think these people know what a dogwhistle is

i do recognize that i kind of brought this on myself here because this is what happens to me every time im even slightly vocal about my lesbianism on this website but it is genuinely exhausting sometimes. like. i recognize that terfism is so rampant in lesbian spaces that people feel the need to be especially vigilant but it’s gotten to the point where even the absolute tamest mention of decentering men nets me multiple asks telling me im probably a terf. and like i understand that if you’re online 24/7 it can be difficult to seperate the concept of feminism from the concept of transmisogyny because there are so many very vocal terfs online but i need everyone to understand that believing that trans women are women and believing that women are an oppressed class/decentering men in your own life are not mutually exclusive concepts and it actually does make you look bad when you assume that every lesbian expressing frustration with the way men are constantly centered in every conversation ever must actually secretly be talking about trans women instead of just like. taking my fucking words at face value. barring everything else it makes you look stupid to send me an ask suggesting that using the phrase “male character” is a dogwhistle, presumably because someone on twitter once told you that terfs often deliberately refer to trans women as “males.” it makes you look like someone who is incapable of comprehending the contextual difference between statements because it makes it incredibly obvious that you are reading the words i am saying without absorbing the meaning behind them. you think “dogwhistle” means “cheat code for weeding out bad people” when it ACTUALLY means “deliberately innocuous word or phrase which, when used IN CERTAIN CONTEXTS, may signal certain bigoted views or philosophies.” please either learn how to use context clues or leave me the fuck alone

#sorry. none of this is directed at you the asker obv i am agreeing with you but oh my GODDDDD #asks

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0097linersb · 11 months ago

Text

Little White Lies (m)

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Genre: Smut, basically pwp, kind of fluff for a bit

Word count: 5k~

Summary: Satoru gets too excited at the thought of being your husband.

Follow me on twitter: marmitasatosugu <3 I´ll proofread this some other day

You thanked God every day that Satoru had the attention span of a 2-year-old considering that you often got away with stuff solely because he was walking around pointing at random clouds or rambling about what movie to watch later. Shoko joked once that you should just leash him after he rushed excitedly to feed some pigeons on the street, but you just laughed it off – you loved the way he was, fully and completely.

Now to quote an example: after a few years of dating, sometimes you found yourself telling a little white lie around, simply because it was so much easier to just call Satoru your husband rather than your boyfriend, especially since it made people take you so much more seriously. It started small, workers had been referring to the man as your spouse for so long that at some point, you just stopped correcting them. It was great, it was practical; people would treat you with more respect and you would have fun inside your little fantasy world.

“My husband will pay for it, the one with the white hair over there.”

“Good afternoon, I´m looking for a gift for my husband.”

“My husband will pick it up later, thank you.”

“Put it on my husband´s tab, please.”

Satoru never caught on to it and you´d much rather that he never did – but once again, the probabilities of it happening were low: if you weren´t holding his hand, he was probably far from you, exploring the big world around him and all its wonders. But oh well, your luck couldn´t last forever.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Y/N,” The receptionist with the Hawaiian shirt smiled once you and Satoru walked inside the resort hand-in-hand. “This must be your husband, welcome to Crystal Waves, Mr. Gojo. Congratulations on the wedding!”

Frozen in place for a second, you couldn´t for the life of you look at your boyfriend. It´s not that you were ashamed, it was a silly little thing that you knew Satoru wouldn´t mind or judge you for, it´s just that… He would tease you so much, you´d never hear the end of it.

You had forgotten all about how when making the reservations, after a long conversation with the lady on the phone, somehow you ended up with free upgrades because apparently it was your honeymoon – Technically, all you said was that the reservation was for you and your husband, she was the one who, probably trying to be nice, commented that she was surprised because you sounded so young, therefore asking if you were newlyweds, so naturally you agreed because the little lie you told was now too far along to take back.

That was almost two months ago, of course you´d forgotten about it. If you hadn´t, you could have just filled Satoru in on the little story, he would love to play pretend, and this was right up his alley. But you didn´t, so before he could say anything, you swallowed down the embarrassment and pretended normality, “Good afternoon, Martha. Yes, this is he.”

You still didn´t look at Satoru, but you heard him thanking her amusedly.

“We´re so glad to have you here,” She smiled as another worker brought you welcome orange cocktails with a beautiful pink flower decorating the glass before guiding you towards the front desk for check-in.

“Did you have a chance to look at all the activities we offer?” Martha asked after you finished signing the paperwork. “For some of the schedules, we ask for the reservations to be made in advance.”

“Yes, that´s understandable. I´m interested in the SPA treatments; we can book it for tomorrow if you have any spots available.”

“Yes, of course. Are we going for the complete package, back massage, facial, scalp treatment, hot stones, body rub…?”

“I think the back ma-”

“Complete package,” Satoru interrupted, tightening the hold on your hand.

“Ok, perfect. 9 AM, 2 PM or 5PM?” Martha asked, clicking away on the computer, smiling up at Satoru for his romantic gesture.

“9 sound goods.”

“Any other plans?”

You waited for Satoru to answer, since he was the one who spent days rambling about some of the stuff he wanted to do, but since he stayed silent, you cleaned your throat and took it upon yourself, “The parasailing one, what days do you have it available?”

“Will it be just your husband or you´ll be going as well?”

“Both of us.”

“Looks like we have an opening two days from now at 3 PM, does that sound good?”

“Perfect, and what about the White Stones Trail?”

“It happens every Monday at 8 AM, should I book it for the two of you?”

“Oh God no, just for my husband, please.”

You didn´t even notice you got carried away in the role until Satoru dropped your hand, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you slightly closed, his thumb rubbing the skin on your side. You still refused to look at him.

“Booked. Anything else?”

“We´d like to go scuba diving on Tuesday.”

“We have a boat leaving at 10 AM.”

“Sounds good. I guess that´s all for now.”

“All set then, these are the keys to your room. The elevator is at the end of the hall to your left, press 10. Your bags are already waiting for you inside. Hope you have an incredible stay and please find me if you need anything.”

You both thanked Martha before you spun in your heels and tried to make a run for it, your escape plan being quickly ruined by Satoru´s hand finding yours once again, holding you close. Taking a deep breath, you accepted defeat and prepared yourself mentally for the next days of hell.

“So…” Satoru started once you were out of earshot from the main desk. You didn´t look at him but you could tell just by the tone of his voice that he was smiling as you walked down the hall.

“Don´t start,” You warned.

“Too late. Husband, huh?”

“Listen, don´t get your panties in a twist-”

“Oh, I´m absolutely getting my panties in a twist.”

“There´s a logical explanation for all of this,” You informed as he pressed the elevator button.

“Which is?”

“I don´t want to talk about it.”

“But you will.”

You sighed, “When I made the reservations, I told them it was our honeymoon so we´d get upgraded and get like, some free stuff.”

The elevator doors dinged open and you walked in, not even being able to appreciate the paradisiacal panoramic beach view inside. Satoru dropped your hand now that you had nowhere to run, leaning against the glass window and crossing his arms to look at you attentively – At least that´s what you guessed since your eyes were glued to the ceiling.

“Y/N, I´m rich,” He stated as a matter of fact, because well, it was true. “You don´t need to lie to get stuff.”

Shit.

He caught you on your semi-lie - and he knew it too by the way there was a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You shouldn´t have looked at him.

“Fuck, ok,” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that he wouldn´t just accept your answer and move on. Taking another deep breath, you carefully measured your words: “Sometimes, for practical reasons, I just tell people we´re married.”

“For practical reasons?”

“Yes, it makes my life easier in certain situations.”

“And how long have you been doing this for?”

Would this damn elevator never reach your floor?

“A few months.”

“And what are you telling people I am?”

“Are you stupid? If we´re married, you´re my husband.”

“Which makes you, my wife.”

The doors finally opened and Satoru reached for your hand, practically dragging you along with his abnormally long legs as you stared at his back.

“Yes Satoru, that´s the correct term.”

“So, you're telling people that you´re my wife?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, struggling to keep up with his pace and confused at his reaction. You expected insufferable teasing for the next few days and not… Whatever this was.

“Yes Sato – Are you ok? Did you hit your head or something?”

“No,” He finally stopped in front of your room, turning around to look at you with a huge smile on his face as you caught your breath. “I´m just so hard right now.”

“You- You´re what now?” You choked out as he searched his pockets for the magnetic card that opened the door. Your eyes automatically trailed down his pants and he was indeed not lying about his current state. “Do you have a thing for elevators?”

Satoru celebrated when he found the key, positioning it against the lock and smiling when he heard the engines turning, eyes back on you as he opened the door eagerly, “No, but I do have a thing for you calling me your husband.”

He didn´t wait for an answer, pulling you into the room and practically banging the door closed before pressing you against it. Satoru ripped his black glasses off, throwing them somewhere on the floor before bending down to your height so your faces were only inches apart.

“Say it again.”

“Satoru, let´s look around the room first, enjoy the view -”

“That can wait, I´d rather enjoy this view for now.”

“´Twas expensive,” You tried again.

“I´d spend all my money on you. Now say it again.”

“What?”

“Call me your husband.”

You were still so confused, was this a trap? For some reason, Satoru seemed to be enjoying it, a bit too much even. You let your walls crumble down slightly, wrapping your arms around Satoru´s neck so you´d be more comfortable.

“My husband?” You tentatively obeyed.

He instantly groaned, crashing his lips against yours with so much need that you felt like this was your first time all over again. He started by holding your face, his hands so big that he could hold your jaw with his palms while his fingers dug at the roots of your hair on your nape. He just held you like you were absolutely everything in the world to him and that got your legs weak. His tongue massaged yours and you were whining against his mouth in no time, hands clawing at his black shirt harsher every time he grinded against you. Satoru was equally as worked up, his chest heaving up and down as his hands left your face to grab at the back of your thighs, pulling you up so you could wrap your legs around his hips.

It was so much easier kissing him like this, since you were actually able to reach him. Unfortunately though, this new position got your boyfriend´s throbbing cock right against your core which you know, did nothing to calm you down. You grabbed at his hair in pure need, making a mess out of it as he left your swollen and wet lips alone to attack your neck.

��You´re so beautiful,” He groaned against your neck after he sucked at your jugular, his hips subconsciously bucking against yours. “Can´t believe you´re mine.”

“Satoru,” You moaned as he bit into the junction of your shoulder and neck.

His lips caught yours once again in another messy and aggressive kiss, his right hand leaving your thigh to start bunching up the bottom of your dress until he could see your panties.

“I could just take you right now,” He groaned against your lips.

“Then do it.”

The corner of his lips tugged up in amusement, “Now that´s no way to treat my wife, is it?”

His own words seemed to light another fire inside him, before you could even react, he was kissing you roughly once again, spinning the two of you around and carrying you towards the bed, where he threw you unceremoniously. You yelped at the impact and once more when he grabbed at your calves, pulling you to the edge of the bed. You supported yourself up on your elbows, so you could see when he went down to his knees in between your legs.

He stayed there on the floor for a few seconds, simply admiring the wet spot on your panties, your legs folded up so they wouldn´t be dangling from the edge of the bed. As you were about to complain, he pressed his thumb right on your clit over the fabric, before slowly rubbing circles with the pad of his finger, staring at what he was doing like he was hypnotized. A gasp left your lips at the surprise feeling and his eyes, which were so focused, snapped out of the trance to look up at you.

As your eyes met, he smiled, “My wife.”

“What´s up with you?” You shakily asked as he gently slid your panties down your legs, throwing them away somewhere.

“I just like the sound of it,” Satoru answered as he grabbed at your thighs once again, positioning them on his shoulders, placing a wet kiss on your inner tight.

Your head fell back in pleasure when he bent down, slowly licking your slit from bottom to top before giving your clit a light suck. He then pulled away slightly and you could already see his lips glistening, his arms wrapped around your tights firmly.

“Tell me you´ll marry me.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, not familiar with this type of foreplay and not sure if this was the right setting for this type of discussion. In response to your silence, he dove back in, his tongue eagerly working on your clit – Why did your boyfriend, besides being rich and extremely hot, also have to be good at just fucking everything?

As soon as you left a moan out and he felt your body start twitching at his ministrations, he leaned back once again, “Tell me.”

He looked at you so hungrily that you heard yourself answering before even realizing, “I´ll marry you, Satoru.”

“And that we will have a big, beautiful family.”

And suddenly, it all made sense: Gojo Satoru, the single most powerful sorcerer in the whole world, unraveled at the thought of marrying you, of you being his, of being loved and having a happy family. Your chest filled with so much love suddenly; your boyfriend was such a loser.

“I´ll give you all that,” You agreed.

Even if it was a fantasy, for this moment it didn´t have to be.

You gave him the answer he wanted, and he excitedly went back to his job after hearing your words. His tongue expertly lapping at you in between kisses and sucks, one of your hands flying to grab at his hair to try and ground yourself. Even after years with this man, you´d never be able to get used to just how good he was at fucking you - and today especially, after a long time of not being touched because either you or him were always away for work, you were feeling extra sensitive.

Satoru knew exactly what to do to get you squirming in record time, flatting his tongue to draw circles against your clit, flicking his tongue from side to side, up and down, fucking it into you and it just drove you absolutely crazy. Even his groans of pleasure as he ate you out with so much hunger, vibrating against you, got your head spinning.

“I´m close,” You moaned, as if he didn´t already know.

“Not yet, hang in there,” He stopped, breathing hard and turning his head to the side, vehemently kissing the inner part of your thigh twice more before sitting up on his knees. “I´m having fun.”

He completely ignored your whines of protest, sitting you up so his face was now right in front of your boobs. Satoru smiled in victory at the view, softly sliding the two straps of your dress down your shoulder until all the fabric fell to your waist. Your boyfriend wasted no time, kissing all over the skin of your chest and leaving what soon would be many deep purple marks, his thumb teasing your nipples.

“Have I told you how much I love your boobs?”

“A few times,” You joked in between gasps, you both knew he would tell you that like, at least once a day.

“If I could just hold them all day I´d be the happiest man on earth,” Was the last thing he said before his mouth latched around your nipple, your back arching into the touch.

Once Satoru was satisfied with his work, he gently pushed you back into bed and climbed on top of you, supporting his weight on his two arms. At this point, you were just praying that he would fuck you already, you were dripping, walls clenching around nothing so desperately it hurt – and your boyfriend wasn´t much better, in this position you could feel very clearly how much his cock was throbbing.

You whined in need as he stared at you with his pretty blue eyes and laughed at your desperation – as if you couldn´t see he was about to cum in his pants too.

“What does my baby want?” He smirked condescendingly, amused at your need.

“To be fucked,” You groaned.

“Ah, anything for my wife,” He agreed, now only supporting his weight on his left arm as he snaked his other hand in between your bodies. “Just let me open you up first.”

You would complain you didn´t need to be prepped, but before you could say anything, his middle finger was already inside you and you forgot what you were going to say. He gently and languidly pumped his finger in and out a few times, adding another when he considered you were good to go.

You were a whiny mess, especially when he curled his fingers and found spots no one ever could before.

“Will you take my family name?” Satoru asked suddenly, his face right in front of yours, attentively watching your expression, his hair tickling your forehead. You were too out of it to even process the words coming out of his mouth. “You know the Gojo Clan is one of the most important and powerful clans in the country. It would sound nice, Gojo Y/N.”

He smiled kind of sadistically at your dazed expression before continuing, his fingers not stopping even once, “Or I could take your last name, I don´t mind. Who gives a fuck about the Gojo Clan anyways? I just suggested it ´cause I´d love everyone to know you´re mine.”

Satoru sped up his fingers and you grabbed his arm, your whole body shaking as your high approached, “But if you accept, you´ll be the heiress of everything, everything will be yours, including me. You can do anything you want, order whoever you want, and spend whatever you want, I´ll let you rule over it all, one snap of your fingers and it´s yours. My wife, the head of the Gojo clan.”

A dragged-out moan left your lips not only because of his restless fingers inside of you, but also because of the whole scenario he was painting, he wanted you to have it all, he wanted to be the one to give you everything. He felt the way your walls were squeezing around him and smiled, slowing down his fingers, “But for now, I´ll be a good husband and fuck my beautiful wife until she´s crying.”

At that, your eyes lit up, quickly sitting up to unbutton his shirt as he unzipped his pants. Once he was done with his trousers, he started helping you with the buttons and you abandoned your task, deciding to litter the already exposed parts of his chest and abdomen with kisses, an “I love you” leaving your mouth in between each touch of your lips on his skin – Because you did, you loved him so much.

The show of affection drove Satoru crazy, harshly throwing his shirt away. You were equally insane at the sight of your boyfriend in just his boxers, practically salivating as if this wasn´t the thousandth time you´d seen him like this. He caught you looking at him in pure awe and smiled, leaning over you for a quick sweet kiss before getting rid of his boxers.

“I´ll get you a ring so big it´ll weigh on your finger,” He informed as he climbed on top of you. “Everyone will be able to spot it from miles away.”

“Don´t want it, just want you.”

“You already have me,” He held your face, his eyes so intense you froze for a second. “Always had, always will.”

“What a simp,” You teased as if you weren´t right about to cry.

“Only for my wife,” He smiled, admiring your face.

“And now will my husband finally please fuck me?”

You said it kind of jokingly, but the title appeared to do the trick anyways; you felt his cock twitching against your thigh before he grabbed at one of your legs, pushing your knee slightly up and groaning as he grabbed his member to position it against you.

After all this lovey-dovey talk, you kind of expected Satoru to want to make slow gentle sappy love to you, and you wouldn´t exactly mind since that was amazing as well, but oh you were so wrong. You had miscalculated how horny the thought of being your husband got your boyfriend, because as he entered you, a loud groan left his lips and while normally he would wait for you to adjust to his size, this time he just kept going. At least he was slow with it, slow enough that you could feel every vein, every inch of his skin against your walls, every ridge, every bump.

You dug your nails into his back to distract yourself from the discomfort as he bottomed out, his lips open in a silent moan, and you caught yourself thinking about how lucky you were; out of everyone in the world, you were the only one who got to see the Honored one like this, so vulnerable and beautiful and yours.

“You feel so good,” He breathed out, beginning to drag his cock out. “Every fucking time.”

You didn´t care if it hurt, you wanted him to destroy you, “Satoru?”

“Yes, beautiful?”

As he started fucking into you again, you lost your words, but the pleading look you gave him and the drag of your nails down his back sent him the message loud and clear.

“Oh,” He smirked. “How am I so lucky?”

You felt his lips on yours as he began to speed up his hips, his right hand wrapping around your thigh so he could pull you flush against his cock. You cursed, feeling like you were being impaled, “Fuck.”

“To have a beautiful sweet loving wife who wants to be fucked like a slut.”

His hips were so smooth yet so fast, knowing all the right angles to get you biting at his shoulder and squeezing your walls around him.

“And you know what´s the best? All these men wanting you will have to know you´re only mine.”

It came as a surprise to you after a few months of dating that Satoru Gojo was a jealous boyfriend. It made absolutely no sense to you, considering that he was… well, Satoru Gojo. Like, what do you mean the strongest and most powerful man in the world, who could end all civilization with a flick of his finger if he wanted to, got bothered when you and Nanami took a cooking class together?

However, you kind of liked his possessiveness over you, especially when it made him thrust harder into you, got his tongue in your mouth in public, or his hand around your neck at a bar.

He felt the way you clenched at his words, breaking apart from you with a groan and flipping you around before you could even process what was happening. The way he could just throw you around so easily got you moaning into the sheets as you arched your back waiting for him.

Satoru didn´t leave you waiting for long, a second later he was already bottoming out inside you once again, and the hotel sheets were proven to be good quality when they didn´t rip under your fingers as he fucked you like his life depended on it.

You were completely lost, brain scrambled as you communicated through moans and gasps, especially when he pulled you up by the neck so your back stood against his chest. His hand stayed there, holding you in place and choking you as his other hand teasingly found its way down your abdomen, finding your clit as its destination.

Your whole body was shaking, Satoru´s arms were probably almost bleeding with how harshly your nails dug into it so you wouldn´t scream.

“You were made for me. Your pussy was made for me,” His moan was raspy against your ear. “Mine. Only for me. Your husband.”

Satoru was close and you were doing your best to buck your hips back to meet his thrusts, already at the edge too with the way his finger kept rubbing number eights against your clit. You stretched your hand back to grab at his hair, stupid at the feeling of being fucked open. He groaned at you pulling his hair, biting your shoulder to warn you he was about to cum.

“Inside,” You rasped.

He literally shivered at your words, a loud moan leaving his mouth as he thrust into you deeper than anyone had ever been before, including himself. Your vision went blank, your orgasm hitting you without warning and no time for you to prepare yourself, your body twitched violently as gasps left your lips, knowing you would have fallen like a doll if Satoru hadn´t been holding your neck.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck,” He cursed, losing control at the way your walls were crazily clenching around him.

His wet and warm mouth was soon on your shoulders, desperately kissing the bite marks he was leaving. You barely felt as he came inside you, or how his cock twitched against your walls, or how you could barely breathe with how tight he held your neck once his orgasm hit, too lost in your own pleasure. You did hear the beautiful noises coming out from his lips, prolonging your orgasm.

Once the two of you came back to reality, breathing hard, Satoru gently let go of your neck, softly rubbing his thumb over the red marks. As expected, your legs failed to hold you and your chest met the bed a second later, your eyes closed to try and come down from your high.

Satoru stayed on his knees, eyes glued to the way you were dripping out because of your walls´ spasms. He just couldn´t help himself, gathering all his cum that spilled with his fingers, ignoring your whines of protest, and pushing it all back in.

“Just a second baby,” He answered dazedly, his fingers still working.

He was obsessed, addicted to the view. No matter how much your body twitched because of the overstimulation, he couldn´t stop pumping his fingers into you, feeling how wet and slick you were around him. He groaned at the way your lips were swollen because of him, thumb gently rubbing your clit. He continued until your whines turned into moans, until your hips stopped trying to run away and instead bucked back against his fingers, until he felt himself getting hard again.

You didn´t complain when you felt his cock entering you once again, his lips worshiping your back as your eyes remained closed, slightly arching your hips to give him better access as he slowly and gently fucked you. Satoru caressed your hair and kissed your temples, your nape, your eyes, all while calling you beautiful and telling you how much he loved you.

…………………………………………….

“Gojo Satoru.”

Sensing your tone, he didn´t answer in pure fear.

The silence made you leave the bathroom, staring at your boyfriend who was in bed looking at you with wide eyes, “What´s wrong, baby?”

“We´re at a beach resort,” You said in between gritted teeth. “How the fuck am I supposed to go to the beach when it looks like I have been mauled by a bear after being dragged around town by a car?”

“I´m sorry, I got carried away.”

“Oh my god, call Martha and cancel the SPA day tomorrow.”

“I can give you a massage-”

“You´re never touching me again, Satoru.”

He smirked at that, “Yeah, give me a few hours and we´ll see.”

You hated that he was right.

#satoru gojo #gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo satoru smut #jjk smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo fanfic #jjk fanfic #jjk x you #gojo scenario #gojou satoru x reader #satoru

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lokideservesahug · 7 months ago

Text

I beg you don't embarrass me...

~Part of my Spotify Wrapped Collection~

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Pairing:Fernando Alonso x Aston Martin driver!Reader

Warnings: Fernando is a duck at the start, but he sorts things out. Badly translated Spanish. Jenson being amazing and a reference to a meme that only amazing people will understand

Notes: Based on this request! I don't listen to much Sabrina Carpenter in all honesty so this is just hoe the song made me feel Based on vibes and lyrics alone! I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: You'd think that you and Fernando were closer than other couples due to your shared interest of racing. But his behaviour would suggest far from that...

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☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You tried to ignore the first time Fernando did something bordering on embarrassing to you. Accidents happen, things can be taken the wrong way and goodness knows you've been pampered by the media for long enough to have a certain pedigree. But this, now this was just downright shameful. You'd been excitedly talking about the sponsor event for the past couple of days, you've had your outfit planned for far longer than that. You explicitly told Fernando what you were going to be wearing in hopes he could co-ordiante things. But this?!? You looked away, cheeks heating. This was not only embarrassing for you but also him.

But as the evening comes to a close, he responds to your criticisms with a gentle kiss to the lips and a promise to change (and as much as you hate to admit it, a part of you is certain his words are yet again a lie). You grumble and roll your eyes at his words, keeping your distance even when you go to bed. But your grudge is all forgotten by the time you wake up, sun peaking through the blinds, wrapped up in Fernando's arms.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Twitter | Jenson's 📱 | Nando's 📱

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

"Mi amor." As soon as you enter the door you're caught off guard by your lover wrapping you in a tight embrace. "Oh-" You have no chance to ask what's up with Fernando's behaviour before he is talking again, clasping your hands in his. "Please forgive me Mi amor más querido. I didn't realise that what I was doing was hurting you so, I never should have neglected you." Your eyes widen, not at all expecting this when you walked into your shared home this morning. And you carrying don't expect when Fernando drops to his knees and leans his chin along your hip. "I am a foolish man that neglected your happiness, please forgive me." You freeze for a moment and your hesitance is enough for Fernando to furrow his brows and start muttering low phrases in Spanish. You catch a quiet "Soy un tonto" (I am a fool) and you think a Oh, he arruinado mi amor (Oh I have ruined my love). You quickly shut off Fernando's ramblings with a simple yet effective covering of his mouth.

"Nando, calm down. You're all alright. Where has this come from?" And as Fernando sheepishly admits that Jenson schooled him about honour, dignity and the obvious fact that you shouldn't embarrass your partner, you feel a warm feeling build inside.

A feeling that only grows as you both have a long conversation, ending with you helping Fernando off of his knees. "Oh I knew you meant every word old man. I knew the second you got on your knees. Heck, you must be aching for days now, old joints and all." Fernando grumbles under his breath and lightly pushes you, leading you to giggle and let out a mock hurt gasp. He just rolls his eyes again and traps you in-between his arms, forcing you to face him as your lips meet in a kiss. An kiss that feels all that much sweeter with your newfound mutual respect and support.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You smile happily at Fernando, talking to one of the engineers. Despite him being the oldest on the grid, he'd only just adressed the behaviour that wa smoking you look and feel bad. But gosh if it wanst liberating! His addressing of such problems and insecurities certainly she'd light on many new things for the both of you.

When you outlined the things that made you feel less than stellar, you encouraged him to be more transparent himself. With even Fernando coming to terms with his foolish behaviour but also you coming face to face with your own bad habits, you lifted a weight off of your shoulders that you enter knew was there in the first place. But now, as you stare longingly at Fernando, you feel seen and heard and foe once not fearful that he'll do something foolish that will embarrass you (and even himself in the future).

Fernando, as I HD could feel your eyes on his form, turns to meet your gaze, smiling as he makes eye contact with you. You roll your eyes as his mouth morphs into a satisfied grin and his smirk only deepens as you turn around, somoen tapping you on the shoulder. You turn and greet the team ambassador. Eager to show of your pride of the work of all of the mechanics (and selfishly, the good driving of Fernando and you). You excitedly gesture as you talk about the amazing result the toe of you got not long ago as you feel a warm hand sneak up the side of your waist. You take a glance to your right side and you continue talking, not paying Fernando any mind. But as you stand here, in your element, with Fernando at your side, you feel an unbridled sense of joy.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Bonus:

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

And why don't you pop in an idea of your own? My inbox is always open :)

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @thatgirlmj

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso #fernando alonso x you #fernando alonso smau #f1 fanfiction #smau #formula 1 x reader

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over-eden · 8 months ago

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6B4T

Lately there has been talk about 4B and so I wanted to bring up 6B4T which grew from the South Korean 4B movement, and specially the 6B4T movement as it is practiced by our Chinese sisters. Before that however differences between the both are as followed:

No sex with men

No giving birth

No dating men

No marriage with men

6B4T

Includes the original commandments of 4B and adds the following:

Don’t buy products from misogynistic brands

Support single women/women that have chosen to be celibate

Reject the corset (rejecting toxic beauty standards)

Reject idol culture (as in male-worship and idolization of entertainment figures this ALSO includes rejecting idol culture for female kpop idols/entertainers)

Reject otaku culture (rejecting misogynistic anime culture)

Reject religion

(**You may see 6B4T referred to as 10bt to avoid censorship as CN social media sites are heavily monitored by government censors, even outside of CN social media CN sisters will still refer to it as 10bt because 6b + 4t = 10bt)

Now that there's a basic understanding... I wanted to talk about some of the differences that the CN 6B4T movement has compared to what I usually encounter in English speaking radfem circles. Please note that this is my own experience and as with any political movement there can a myriad of women that agree and disagree (except on the 6B4T principles as a whole, those are rock solid for them haha.)

I was first aware of this movement around 2020 and have been following women on twitter/x since then that follow these beliefs. All of this has been gathered from tweets by 6B4T users on twitter/x + interactions with them. I am not a CN speaker and have used translation apps to piece together details on the 6B4T movement and have cross referenced this with some of the writings I can find in English about this and the conversations that I have had with some of the 10bt sisters that were willing to interact with me.

I do not feel comfortable just singling out specific accounts for people to look up on twitter but anyone that wants to do their own research can search the keywords on twitter 6B4T or 10bt and go under the "People" filter to populate accounts of CN women that have 6B4T and/or 10bt in their bio.

One thing that I want to talk about right away - the term donkey. It will come up quite often when you search 10bt accounts and is used to describe women that are perpetuating patriarchy because they "carry the patriarchy without protest and allow themselves to be exploited." (This includes married women.) 10bt sisters DO NOT have an emphasis on educating women that perpetuate patriarchy. You can find sayings such as:

"Feminism is like being given a weapon to support yourself with, do not use it to commit suicide by having a complex of saving donkeys"

“Don't do donkey work for donkeys".

“Don’t get derailed by women support women, leave the donkeys alone.”

Which leads me to the next point - 10bt sisters are for empowering women independently. There is obvious acknowledgement of bonds and relationships between women but the general feeling is more to focus on the individual self, connections are based solely on shared interests and can be let go of as needed. (I have also seen discussions of letting go of romantic ties not just for straight sisters but for lesbian sisters as well.) Sentiments such as "focusing on oneself is a foundation for a happy life" "All thoughts and ideologies cannot be separated from down to earth efforts and dedication" are plenty. Really a focus away from "altruistic" causes so to speak

And on that note: anti veganism. 10bt sisters in general are adamant that 6B4T principles should only include tackling patriarchy and not have other causes added to it. Anti veganism sentiment also seems to stem from certain aspects in CN culture of serving smaller portions to young girls and discouraging them to eat meat as opposed to men. The focus on improving one's self from before also shows up here: "Women need strength to overthrow patriarchy, only then should we focus on improving the lives of animals."

Some 10bt sisters are also very open about criticism and believe women that openly identify with the 10bt movement should be prepared to have their posts critiqued, and while some will debate this... one of the things that is absolutely non negotiable is that actions MUST back up words. There’s lots of debates that go on in the 10bt movement but the bare minimum is that if you follow 6B4T then you must follow its core beliefs otherwise what are you here for? There is a huge disdain for those that say they belong to this movement but don’t follow its beliefs.

With that being said, how do the 10bt sisters feel about 4B taking off in the states? Well…

“4B grew into 6B4T and they only dared to do half of the movement? It’s disappointing.”

“At this point in time, it is crazy to deliberately go back and start from 4B. You have someone’s shoulder to stand on but you won’t take it.”

“4B: No marriage, no giving birth , no sex, no dating. Doesn't that mean they are still serving as donkeys: supporting idols and otaku, believing in religion, using pornographic content, and consuming misogynistic brands... It really makes one recognize by a glance what stupid things they are still doing.”

“I don't understand how this kind of castration of the feminist movement came about.”

Is some of the general consensus on twitter/x.

Two more things I will add here before I wrap this up:

I have seen a post in English about other principles to follow such as 5B, 7B or 8B. I am not aware of what these principles are and could not find a CN source to confirm this so if 5B, 7B and 8B do exist, I do not believe it originated from the CN movement.

There is also the concept of icing men out aka if a man comments on your social media posts immediately delete the comment EVEN if it is a comment in agreement. For this while I also could not find a specific CN source for the 10bt sisters, it feels like it is just natural to not interact with men. I have yet to see debates on whether someone can be part of 10bt and still have a boyfriend, husband, etc since the answer will always be a resounding NO. (And on this note… if you are curious about attitudes towards male family members.. rejection of filial piety is something that is very agreed upon. I would recommend first learning what filial piety entails in CN culture as whole if there is curiosity about this.)

I will wrap this up with one of my favorite concepts I have encountered from our 10bt sisters:

“When one woman keeps house*: five women are trapped: herself, daughter, mother, sister-in-law, and female coworkers”

[*keeps house meaning - “when one woman marries…”]

If there are sisters out here who are involved with this or have more info to add please feel free to do so! Also would love to get in touch with any that know more on the CN 10bt movement.

#6B4T #4B #separatism #radblr #orchid

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local-dragon-haunt · 6 months ago

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PSA to my fellow artists!!!

With the holidays fast approaching it appears this specific commission scam is making its rounds again.

Below is a conversation I will be posting to help you all know what to look out for:

So this account reached out to me under one of my recent posts. My first safeguard against scams like this (and just so I know the preferences of my ACTUAL clients) is to check the account that is messaging me:

FIRST RED FLAG: No posts. No description. Default background, generic, probably stolen pfp. Robot City (But you all know this by now)

Now, I was like, 99% sure this was a scam right here. (shout out to that one twitter thread I read a few months ago. It helped me clock this account immediately)

But I decided to humor them on the off chance that this person just doesn't understand Tumblr culture. (please, please do not do this. I am petty and insane)

RED FLAG #2: Notice the lack of references: asking me to draw something and then not sending any reference materials (something I explicitly state on my commissions spreadsheet).

This is a topic they will try to avoid (as you will see below), and ultimately what made them realize that I wasn't worth the effort. Always, always, always require references and style guides for any commission you get. Scammers' main goal is to spend as little energy as possible. they will not bother giving these to you.

Now onto Red Flag #3:

Notice how they immediately aim for the most expensive option (which, for my commissions, happens to be fully rendered furry content). This is a red flag because not ONCE did they mention this was going to be anything other than a portrait. This is when I knew 100% it was a scam.

RED FLAG #4: Asking for personal information. I am begging you. I am begging, never EVER, EVER give out your personal information online. ALWAYS use a pseudonym. Change the subject. Do literally anything else. just DON'T. GIVE. THAT. INFORMATION. AWAY.

AND RED FLAG #5: Offering WAY more than I am asking for my services. Remember, kids: if something is too good to be true, it probably is!

it is here that you are going to want to block and report this account. Do Not Be Me. I am begging you. I am doing this for educational purposes. However. I have one more red flag for you guys:

RED FLAG #6: Now, this very generous (/s) person is offering me $300 WHOLE DOLLARS just to draw a furry for them! That's so incredibly thoughtful!

...so why do they not care about the species, color, accessories, pose...ANYTHING about it? (It's because they don't care. They're not gonna pay you the money.)

Look, I can understand how flattering it is to be given full creative freedom on a commission, but you have to understand that this will almost never, EVER, happen to you. I'm sorry. It's the truth.

Anyways. That's all I got for you. Do me a favor, go ahead and block/report @mlaurel any any other cronies they're affiliated with. Also reblog this post if you feel so inclined. Keep your information safe. Get that bank! And Happy (safe) Holidays!

#ignore my typos it was like 3 am ok #scam alert #scammer #artists on tumblr #commissions #furry art #psa #fanart #digital art #traditional art #internet safety

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creampie-capital · 9 months ago

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║My Ex, The Oni║║━ Pt. 1 ━║

ᴍᴀʟᴇ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ║21,113

The Devil May Lick Me Masterlist ━━━➤ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐞

↳.·:*¨༺𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧༻¨*:·.

Photo Reference Cred ━━━➤ 82PIGEON on X (Twitter) Do not steal, copy, or repost anywhere. My work is currently on both CREAMPIE_CAPITAL on wattpad and Imtropicalbaby on Quotev. If posted on another account or website, please report and notify me immediately. Now onto the story :)

Steam wafts off your skin, a transparent whisp that floats from the intense heat emanating from your body. Soaked hair sticks to your limbs before you lean forward and wrap a towel around them to flip over.

The ringing continues from your bedroom, blaring like scratches on the walls that spur you quickly exit from the bathroom. 'Don Juan,' his nickname since forever, flickers on the screen with the image of his stupid face.

Fixing your robe, you answer and place it on the speaker. "Hello!!! I've been callin' for the past ten minutes." Rafe drags his voice out, stretching his vowels in the way he loves to when he's irritated.

"I was in the shower, babe. You already know eight o'clock is shower time." You jeer and respond in the same manner.

"Right, right." His response is calmer now as he releases a deep sigh. "Sorry, It's just busy at work, but I needed to know if you were busy tomorrow. My parents are visiting, and they want to see you. I know last time they were kind of rude, but that is just how they play around. My entire family is blunt like that, so I guess it's just in blood, haha."

In an instant, you're biting your lip while your dominant hand curls into a fist. That a**hole, how many times do you have to tell him that you're not going to meet them again after last time? They blatantly insulted you and passed it off as jokes and gags in front of your face and his presence.

You were surprised you were able to grin and bear it, taking their backhanded compliments and disrespect with awkward laughs and bows of your head. Not again; you're not going to take it again with Rafe sitting right by your side with silence on his tongue.

"Rafe, come on. I've already told you I'm not going to see them again unless I get a genuine apology."

"How can they give you a genuine apology if you won't see them again."

He silences you in that moment as you stop mid-movement from grabbing your panties. "Touché, Don Juan." Rafe had a point. However, your body is engraved with pettiness. The hurt and humiliation they gave you had riddled your very bones with hatred.

Forgiving them feels like losing the battle and accepting their disrespect. It's been one of your negatives since a young age, bearing rage and grudges even if they affected your closest relationships. Even your therapist struggles to help you settle those internal grievances.

"I've talked with them, you know. It's hard for them to understand that their bluntness is not something everyone appreciates." You're both silent after his words; the only noise coming from the club is the muted music from the club he bartends at.

Standing in the middle of your room, with only your panties and damp robe on, you find yourself fighting your resolve as water dries off your skin from the a/c. Now that the heat cools into a mellowness, even your anger somewhat subsides.

Rafe then cuts the silence as he speaks. "It's only for coffee at Selena's. With the holiday coming up, they wanted to see you and me before they leave. And that means a lot, you know, the fact that they want to see you again."

Ugh, you're starting to feel bad for constantly rejecting their invites. Only slightly bad, however, because you cannot forget those snide remarks that yeiled your blood to boil. Though...maybe they weren't that bad, but you took them the wrong way because as soon as someone offends you, you close off and refuse to listen anymore.

However, that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

"Fine. I'll come but only for an hour. But if they act the same way they did last time, then I'm out. I'm not just going to sit there and take everything while you act like a coward. Got it?"

"Got it." He murmurs while you hear the sound of his clothes shifting. "And again, I'm sorry about how I acted last time. It was cowardly, and I didn't consider your feelings."

With a nod of your head, you part your lips to respond; however, a ring from the foyer of your apartment solidifies you in your spot. Immediately, you're on the defense, body tense and eyes narrowed.

"Hold up, someone's at my door." You whisper before grabbing your phone, muting it, and stalking close to your door. The emergency services are already dialed, only awaiting the call button in case something goes wrong.

Pressing a button on your apartment intercom, the blank screen flashes to show the video imaging outside your door, and you cannot believe who stands in front of your entrance with a smug a** grin.

"Oh, my f*cking god." You seethe with the blood inside of your heating up before unmuting your call. "It's nobody important. I call you back; love you, babe."

"'kay. Be safe, and I love you too. I finish at two, so if you're still up, I call you later."

Ending the call, you undo the towel in your hair to throw it aside and unlock your door. With a harsh tug, you open it with a deep glare. "What the hell are you doing here, and how the hell do you know where I live?"

Kohaku stands there with that stupid a** grin and glint in his heterochromia eyes. "Come on, can't a guy just say hi?"

He looks the same as he did in high school, only more muscular as his clothes stretched across his limbs. His hair is still that ink-black slop with the strip of white strands, only longer and slightly styled.

The little horns on his forehead remain as cute as ever, as much as you hate to admit it. Piercings riddle his pointed ears, and you wonder how he got them done when he's always been a little b*tch about the sensitivity of his earlobe.

"Not even on my grave would I let you even say hi. What the f*ck do want?" You sneer, though it does nothing to wipe off his grin.

With a snap of his fingers, he points them at you like finger guns. "First off, you look cute in that robe, but it's a little too short. Not that I mind~." Your face heats up with the boiling of your blood. "Second of all," He suddenly twists around and picks up a...a little girl!? "-I need you to watch this sprat for a couple of months."

He hands her to you, holding her up from under her armpits like he's attempting to hand over a stray pet. The kid doesn't even seem phased, staring with a bored(?) expression as though nothing is going on in her head.

She's small, maybe five or six, wearing an oversized pink sweater and knee-high black socks with beat-up sneakers. Her eyes, her eyes hold two different colors, one icy blue and the other lime green. She had her own pair of horns that matched her tan skin with the tips slightly peachy red. Even her hair was the same ink black with the one area in the front white from his genetic disorder. It was long, down to her ankles, and unruly. Tangles are everywhere, and the frizz overtakes her head like lions made.

"Excuse me...? Ex-f*cking-scuse me!?" The roar of your voice was louder than you meant, and you knew in an instant that your neighbors were going to complain. "F*ck, f*ck." You whisper to yourself while opening the door wider and pointing inside. "Get in, quick."

That grin grew as he waltzed in and immediately began inspecting your place.

Shutting the door and locking it, you turn back with your arms crossed and a wicked glare. "You got some explaining to do because what in your right mind thinks you can just waltz up in here after everything you did and think I would do you favor? Much less-" You point to the kid he's still carrying. "The favor being taking care of a brat from when you cheated on me?"

Finally, Kohaku's smile drops as he frowns awkwardly. "Well...when you put it like that, it makes me look like a really bad guy."

"You are the bad guy." It seems your words nicked a nerve as his blue and green eyes flickered to your face, and his frown withered.

The Oni set the girl down on your laminated wooden floors before swiping a hand across his mouth and looking away. "It wasn't like that. You know I would never cheat on you. I just-"

You cannot even handle hearing anymore. The sound of his voice that you used to love trying to justify the way he broke your heart is something you can't bear. "You just what? You got some f*cken freedom in college and went off to do your own thing? Got to finally get away from my 'overbearingness' and 'clinginess' so you could f*ck around with, how did you put it, 'woman that wasn't like me'?"

Kohaku inhaled a deep breath and finally met your gaze as he placed an open hand on his broad chest. "I was childish and selfish. People were treating me like someone important, and I let it go to my head. I said things I didn't mean-"

Tears are burning in your eyes, burning like poison, as you step forward to grab the front of his shirt and tug. "You called me in the middle of the night while you were at a party just to tell me things were over! You had been neglecting me for weeks, and when you finally called, when I could finally hear your voice again, it was just to break up so you could f*ck some skank without a guilty conscious!"

He suddenly grips your wrist, the heat of his touch almost shocking you like electricity as he tears off your hold. "The way I broke up with you was f*cked up, I admit it. I apologize for that. But at least I had the f*cken decently to break up instead of cheating on you, instead of hiding it behind your back. I loved you enough to not do that sh*t to you."

"...What!?" You laugh in disbelief while yanking your arm out of his grasp. "Loved me enough!? If you had even loved me, you wouldn't have been ignoring me when you entered college! You wouldn't have stopped answering my calls! For f*cks sake, if you had really loved me, you wouldn't have broken up with me for some one-night stand when I was your girlfriend you promised to marry!"

Banging erupts from your living room wall, most likely from your neighbor to tell you to shut the f*ck up. It was already late, people were trying to sleep, and you were having a breakdown. Now that you could hear the silence of the apartment and feel the blood pumping in your veins, you then also realized tears were snaking down your cheeks.

"Damn." You whisper and turn your head away to march towards the kitchen. "I can't deal with you sober." It didn't take long for you to pour yourself a shot and downing it before grabbing a beer can and gulping half so the effects could hit you sooner.

From the entranceway, Kohaku says something to the girl before making his way over. You don't even look at him, leaning against the counter as the can hangs loosely between your fingers. So many years have passed since then, yet the wound of it all remains unhealed. He was your first love, someone you gave yourself to wholeheartedly.

You loved him with everything you had and believed that you both would go to the same college together, then marry later on, have a family, and grow old together. Truthfully, you should have known better; you romanticized that relationship. You both were just kids from a small town, not realizing how big the world was.

Well, you didn't. Because he was a grade above you, he went off to university first, and that's when he got a taste of what the real world was like. That's when he experienced so many things that a small town just can't provide.

He had his eyes opened while you remained blissfully ignorant.

Now that time has passed, you have experienced those feelings firsthand. The world was so different; there was so much going on that you would have never encountered if you stayed in that town. You get it; you get that you were just holding him back.

But that doesn't stop the hurt from becoming any less painful. It's been how many years, yet the feeling of betrayal still feels so fresh it's almost pathetic.

Were you the one who was more in love than he was? Is that why you're still hurt after all these years, even though you've already moved on?

"I'm sorry."

His voice right now is no longer pissing you off; it's just making you feel even more pathetic. You don't know if you ever quell the hatred from how he broke up with you, and that's sad. He did the adult thing and ended it instead of just lying behind your back.

How he went about it was wrong, but he did the right thing and left the relationship. You should be over it by now, but with his reappearance, those feelings have returned.

"...Don't... You're not sorry. You're just tryna make me feel better, and it's only make me feel worse." You murmur while covering your mouth and burping slightly from the carbonation. "So... who is the kid? Gotta be your daughter 'cause she's got that same stupid a** white streak."

Kohaku laughs in his throat before leaning against the wall on his side and crossing his arms over his broad chest. "You used to love it." He teases, and you can tell he really is trying to lighten the mood, but you don't want any of that. "Well, today is actually the first time I've met her."

"Oh." You release like a breath of air before turning your head to face him. "Do tell."

He rubs the back of his neck with the leather of his jacket, squeaking from his movements. "That girl from college, we actually started dating after we...you know."

Something stings in your heart, but it drifts away in slow rolls as you breathe it out. "Wow. I guess it wasn't just some one-night stand, then. Don't know if it makes me feel better or worse, though."

He clicks his tongue while shaking his head. "Well, a couple of years later, she cheated on me, so we broke up. After that, I transferred to a different university and never saw her again or remained in contact with her. That was until this morning, she just showed up with the girl and some papers and declared I had full custody. She told me that the girl would be my full responsibility and I could do whatever I wanted without getting my ex involved. Then she just left."

You laugh under your breath. "Drops the responsibility on to you, huh, and now you're doing the same to me. And that girl isn't even mine." Whether you meant to or not, the last part poured from your lips with petty abhorrence.

It was your dream to have a child, to share a child with him that was from the both of you. Someone else got to have that dream, yet they threw it away so carelessly.

Kohaku stands to his full stature and steps forward. His height grows, and you remember the enormous height difference that you used to love. Somehow, he feels even taller than you remember.

"I'm sorry." He exclaims and places an open hand on your back. Was his hands always this big? It feels like he could cover so much space. "I'm really sorry for doing that. I'm not in the position to take care of her, nor is it safe for a kid to be around me. There's no one else I could think of but you to ask for this favor."

You lick your lips and stare into those multi-colored eyes. "Safe? And you couldn't ask anyone else's in your life? No other friends or girlfriends? Not even your dad?"

He removes his hand to place it against his chest as though he were wounded. "First of all, aren't you honored that you're the only one I can think of after all these years?"

You give him a deadpan expression while pointing a finger at him. "No."

"You're literally no fun." He whines. "And for your information, Dad would make things more complicated than they would need to be. I don't need that right now when I've got to figure things out."

A laugh ripples from your mouth and echoes out. "Ahh, your dad would grab you by the horn and go and on about family values 'till your ear would fall off. Then he'd put that girl to work on the farms. That old fart wouldn't miss any opportunity for free labor."

Even speaking of it brings forth memories of helping around the farm because you were too nice to say no. He always managed to keep you around for hours until your mother would come to get you. You'd be all dirty, sweaty, and (tanned/burned) from being under the sun for so long.

You hated those times, but they are memories you will never forget. They were part of your childhood and adolescence, and they did give you some muscle that helped you do well in sports.

Sighing, you lean forward to rest your arms on the counter and your cheek on your wrist as the dizziness comes forth. "How is your old man?"

"Same old, same old." He responds and maneuvers so he's resting his behind against the counter and elbows on it to hold up his weight. "He'll honestly outlive us from his sheer stubbornness."

That statement couldn't be any more true. If you were the queen of pettiness, then his father was the king of stubbornness. Whatever his dad decided on, he would stick with it to the end, even if he were in the complete wrong.

As much as you love the big world and the big city, there is that nostalgic feeling of sitting on his father's porch in that big squeaky rocking chair and drinking a fresh glass of lemonade. It would be nice to do that again and stare out onto the massive field of his farmland, feeling the cool breeze on your skin.

The same four country songs always seemed to play from his beat-up radio, yet he refused to let anyone change the station. You used to hate that and dread even the sound of a guitar. Now, you find yourself missing it.

"I miss your batty old dad." You state, mumbling under your breath and blinking heavily.

Kohaku laughs and nods his head with a slight grin. "As much as that old man gets on my nerves, I miss him too."

Nothing more is stated; instead, sharing a deep silence that would have been awkward to others but was comforting to both of you.

Surprisingly, you were looking at the past and yearning for the simpler times. Doing so usually would just leave you aggravated, but tonight, it was pacifying. Life is always so busy, and you like that it never leaves you a moment to dwell on the past and what could have been.

Maybe you just needed to get those feelings off your chest. After the breakup, you were never in contact with him again. The anger from the heartbreak had you crumble up all those feelings and throw them down in a void.

They were a weakness, something you refused to give in to. But the anger remained, and questions you always wanted to ask were stuck in the back of your head. They didn't push forward, they didn't take precedent, they were just there, waiting.

Sniffling, you stand up and step over to the sink to dump the rest of your beer. "What is her name?"

"Simat? If I could name her, it would have been something cooler."

You angle your head back to sneer at him. "Don't kid yourself. You would have named her something ridiculous like your Gamertag. I don't even want to hear it." If there is one thing he should never get his hands on, it's naming.

Abpruplty, your phone rings, and you see Rafe on the screen. You didn't realize how close it was to one o'clock.

"Ouu, your boyfriend." Kohaku teases as he snatches your phone to look at the picture. "Hmm, he's decent looking and has good nose genetics. However, you could do better. And what's with that name? Don Juan is so ridiculous. And you're the one saying I suck at coming up with names." He utters with a finger on his chin as though he were profoundly contemplating.

"A**hole." You exclaim and snatch back your cellular device, only for the call to end. "It's a joke nickname from our friend group. And as an ex-boyfriend, you have no right to judge my boyfriend."

The Oni falls back comically while holding a hand against his chest, tugging at it as though he were having a heart attack. "You wound me, (Y/n). As an ex-boyfriend, I have every right. I have to make sure the men you get with aren't better looking than me!"

His response yields another deep sigh, and you shift your weight onto one leg and cross your arms beneath your bust. "Get the f*ck out of my apartment."

"What about-"

"I will do you this favor one time, but after, don't ever come back asking for anything. Don't ever come back, period. You're from my past; you don't belong in my future." With that said, you stride past the muscular man and back to the living room, where the little girl sits playing with a big Orc doll.

Kohaku follows you around your couch and kneels in front of the girl. He places his big hands on her knees and gains her attention. "I have to go now. I'm sorry for leaving your side, but it's not safe at my place. I'll be coming around every few days to see you, okay?"

Simat doesn't speak, but she nods her head before resuming her attention on her big green doll. The older Oni appears to be observing her appearance for a few seconds before standing up and placing a hand on her head to ruffle her already disorderly hair.

With one last look, he begins making his way to your front door, with you following behind. "Should I give you my email so you can notify me when you're coming to see her or-"

"No, I've already got your number," Kohaku states before winking and exiting the front door. "By the way, you need a new robe. I can see your a**cheeks, not that I mind~!"

"Kohaku, you pervert! Wait, how!? I changed my number after high school!" You question in the hallway, but he refrains from responding, only waving his hand until he disappears around the corner.

With a defeated sigh, you close the door and lock it. Now, it's just the two of you alone in your apartment. It's awkward, and you cannot help the painful feelings. Resentment fills your veins, a nasty bitterness that corrodes your insides.

You have to remind yourself that this child is an innocent bystander, someone who had no say in what had transpired. It was not her fault she was born, much less from your ex-boyfriend. It's just the way things were.

Finally, you were able to shake yourself up enough to go to your room, grab some undersized clothes that she could fit into, and return.

"Simat?" She slowly looks up from her doll and stares with her heterochromia eyes. From the moment you met her, that dead expression has remained, not once going away. She's not crying for Mommy or Daddy; she's not afraid of some stranger standing in front of her.

It's eerie, almost scary, and it slowly eats away the corroding of resentment. "Do you want to shower or sleep?" You ask her softly, yet she only stares at you with those lifeless eyes. If it were not for the slight movement of her chest from breathing, you would have thought she was some broken, dirty doll thrown out.

"Okay, umm. Take these clothes and change in the bathroom. I'll make the bed for you." Without wasting time, she stands up to take the clothes and make her way down the hall to the bathroom. You didn't tell her where it was, but she must have been looking around while you and Kohaku were talking.

She looks pitiful; you cannot help but feel bad for her.

With her changing, you push forward the coffee table to pull out the bed. It was an expensive couch you bought a while ago for when your girlfriends were too drunk to go home. With their picky choices, you were able to find this one that they actually liked, so it should be good enough for the girl.

It already has clean sheets, so you go to the closet to grab the piles of pillows and blankets you have before making the bed. Simat returns soon after in your PJs before placing her sweater, socks, and shoes in her little pink bag.

"Do you want to watch something or..." Simat only stares at you as she stands in her spot. With a slight narrowing of your eyes, you point your hand that had the remote at the bed. "Go lay down." Instantly, the girl listens, grasping the blanket to help haul herself on top. "Simat, get off for a second." Without a complaint, she does so, sliding off and standing right next to it with no change in her expression.

The pity you felt had intensified, and you suddenly regretted the way you had spoken to her earlier. She seems very closed off for a young girl when she should be expressing herself at this age. Even more, she's incredibly obedient, following orders without a word or complaint.

"Come sit here for a second. I want to talk to you." The girl listens, climbing back up before crossing her legs and holding the doll against her chest.

Slowly, you sit on the edge and lick your lips while trying to figure out the right words to say. "I'm sorry for all the yelling you heard earlier. I was just really upset, but that is no excuse. My name is (Y/n). I was your daddy's friend from a long time ago." No words, just a blank stare. "Uh, you'll be staying with me for a while, but your father will be here every few days. I don't have a daughter, so I'm not sure how to take care of you, but if there are things that you don't like, then don't be afraid to tell me. I don't know how things were at your mom's, but here you have every option you want, whether it's if you want to watch TV or not. Okay?"

No response; her nose barely even flares as she breathes. "To make things easier, nod your head for okay or yes. Shake for no. Okay?" For a second, she seems to hesitate before finally she moves her head up and down a little.

It feels like a small victory, and you cannot help but smile. "I'm not good at this stuff, but let's learn together, okay?" Again, it takes her a few seconds as though she is thinking about it, but she nods. "Alright. I'm going to put a kid's movie on, but if you don't like it, then here is the remote. You can stay up however long you want for now. In the morning, we'll have breakfast, and then we'll go from there."

Slowly, she nods her head, which spurs you to softly pat her head before standing up and pulling the covers over her lap. "Goodnight, Simat. I'll see you in the morning." The girl doesn't say anything, only sinking into the pillows and staring at the large TV screen.

Without making much noise, you go to your own bed only to pass out once your head hits the pillow. You hadn't even changed out of your robe, and you're too tired from the emotional rollercoaster no one but your ex can make you ride.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

In the morning, you are woken up by the ringing of your phone. Your eyes are still closed, and your mind is half awake as you answer. "Hmm."

"'Morning, babe. I'm almost done getting ready. Then I'm going to come get you to go to Selena's." Rafe's voice comes out from the device, and you hum in response.

However, after a few seconds, your head shoots up as your eyes widen. Sh*t, how are you going to explain to him that you're babysitting your ex-boyfriend's kid after no contact for like six years? Rafe is already super jealous and not trusting of any males in your life. His parents would be even worse if you showed up out of the blue with some kid who wasn't their son's offspring.

Dammit

"Sh*t babe, I forgot I've already made plans with my sister." You lie straight through your teeth as you sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. Your sister isn't even in the same country, busy on her own holiday voyage that he hopefully doesn't know about.

"What?" Rafe questions and scoffs. "Come on, can't you just take a raincheck? You keep skipping out every time they want to see you, and I already told them you were coming last night. You know how it's going to look when you cancel again."

It does look bad that you are ignoring them, but so what? They were so incredibly rude last time, and seeing them would ruin your day, even if they want to apologize. "It's not my fault they found it so funny to call me slurs and laugh about it in front of my face. I can take a slur as a joke, but they weren't joking. I'll see them when I want to see them. I'm getting ready; I'll call you later." Rafe begins saying something, but you do not even let him get his words out, quickly hanging up and collapsing onto your back.

Staring up at your ceiling, you take deep breaths to calm your vexation before slowly sitting up. Your back and neck hurt from falling asleep in that awkward position without moving. You must have been exhausted to sleep like the dead.

After taking a moment to center yourself entirely, you get up and open the door to step down the hallway and into the living room quietly. The TV is still on, playing the Lorax halfway through as you peek over the couch.

Simat was awake, hugging her Orc doll while watching the movie. "Good morning, Simat. Did you sleep?" She looks over before slowly nodding her head. "Are you hungry?" Another nod. "Okay, come. Go sit at the counter over there and wait while I make something."

She does need to be told twice, obediently following orders as she crawls out of bed and shuffles to the bar stools. You had to hold back your laughter as you watched her struggle to get up, climbing like a little monkey.

"Alright, let's see..." you murmur while opening the fridge. You look through its contents before removing some strawberries, butter, and milk and setting them on the counter. "I'm going to make pancakes. Are you okay with that?" Another nod.

Silently, you begin pulling out all the other ingredients you need before setting up the skillet. Simats eyes are watching you the whole time, and you wonder if she's just curious or if she watches your every move out of fear to watch for danger.

Her silence and obedience already strike you as odd, but it might not be far from a stretch to assume she was abused or, more so, neglected. There is not much you can do as an outsider; she's not even your daughter. But for now, you can just try to give her options and help her understand that it's safe in this place even though you are a stranger.

"When I was a kid, my mom used to make pancakes that looked just like characters from my favorite anime. Have you heard of Sailor Moon?" When you turn, you see that she shakes her head no. "Really? We should watch it some time then. It's an older series, so the graphics are not that great, but I prefer it still over the remake. Just something about the new one; I just don't like it."

With the batter mixed, you begin pouring small pools onto a hot skillet. "You know, when I don't like things, I won't do them. If I don't like it, if it hurts me or would make me unhappy, I don't do it." Flipping a pancake, you reach up in the cupboard to grab a plate. "I want you to understand that you are safe here to express yourself. You won't get hurt or yelled at if you say no. I will respect you enough to listen to your feelings, but I need you to respect me enough to listen too, okay?"

You don't turn your head to look at her, but you can feel her nod. You're unsure if she is truly listening to you or taking your words seriously. Hopefully, she'll keep your words in mind while she stays here.

After the food was done, you cut up some strawberries and lathered the pancakes in butter before presenting them to the girl and giving her two different bottles of syrup, one with a rich taste and another with a more robust flavor.

She didn't eat or even lift her fork, only continuing to watch you as you made your way around the bar and took a seat next to her. Her eyes observed as you grabbed the first bottle, poured it over your food, and began cutting it up. Once you had put the bottle down, she grabbed the one you had and poured it over her plate almost the same way you did (dousing it/light covering it).

Only when you started eating did she tear off a small piece and eat. It was both cute, as though she were mimicking you, but sad as you wondered if she wanted to make sure it was safe to eat or if she even had the right to eat.

Silently, you both ate together until you finished and stood up to begin washing the dishes. Simat was still eating, but when you turned to check up on her, you noticed she was eating slowly and took smaller bites than before.

"If you're full, do not force yourself to eat more than what you can handle. I won't yell or hurt you if you are done. And you're not wasting food; you just can't eat anymore." It seemed your words were exactly what she needed to hear as she dropped her fork and leaned back, seeming to pat her belly softly.

It was too cute, like an arrow to the heart. "Good girl," you told her, then took her plate, emptied the rest away, and finished the clean-up.

After a few minutes of cleaning, you heard the chair scrape, and Simat came over to the kitchen. She stood right by your side, with her eyes never straying from your figure. Is food the way into this little girl's heart?

"Woo, I hate washing dishes." You joke with a little laugh before turning to the kid. That unruly hair needs to be taken care of, and she's even got some syrup on her chin that's shining in the light. "Alright, let's bathe you. Come follow me."

Obediently, she follows you down the hall to the bathroom, where you turn the shower handle, and water bursts into the clean, porcelain basin. "Do you want hot water and bubbles?" she nods. "Good; I love bubbles, too."

As the tub fills with an obscene amount of bubbles, you begin to help her undress. Other than her matching markings beneath the eyes she obtained from her father, there don't appear to be any scars or markings.

It was a sigh of relief; you don't think you could hold in your anger if there were physical signs of abuse. She's not you're kid, she's not your daughter, but hurting any child in a manner was unacceptable. A slap here and there if a kid really needs discipline, but anything more would earn your fist in the parent's face. Every kid deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a kid.

When Simat enters the tub, her attention is immediately stolen by the piles of bubbles, and she begins to play with them. She places them on her chin and cheeks, almost mimicking a beard that brings forth a laugh.

For a second, she glances at you before returning it to the tub and adding more to her fake beard, the shape taking the form of a long wizard beard. "You make a good wizard. Should I buy you a cape and a wand?" Your joke, which you said more to yourself, had earned the child's gaze. Finally, those dead eyes hold a twinkle, a soft sparkle deep inside her colored irises.

In an instant, you make a mental note to buy a wand and a cape immediately after this.

While she continued to play, you washed her lengthy hair, which was way thicker than you expected. You thought you used a lot of conditioner, but this girl gave you a run for your money. You're going to have to buy more while she stays here, in fact, you need to buy lots of things.

Not that you mind, shopping is fun, and even more fun when you have that Christmas bonus your boss gave everyone for the holidays.

Once the water begins to turn lukewarm and the bubbles cease, you help her out and give her one of your robes. It was too oversized for her, but she looked cute in it. The two of you enter your bedroom, where you lift and sit her at the edge of your bed while you go scouring through your clothes for something around her size.

There isn't any underwear that would fit, so you put down a pair of black biker shorts that shrunk in the wash. Even most of your shirts, other than your office clothes, are inappropriate for her age, so for now, you give her one of your crop top sweaters that is just long enough to reach her hips.

"Alright, you can change into these and then meet me in the bathroom so we can take care of your hair." She nods and reaches for the clothes while you exit and shut the door for privacy. While she does that, you'll brush your teeth and do your own hair since it dried awkwardly last night.

It's still unbelievable what is happening. After six years, your first love shows up on your doorstep to drop off a daughter he didn't even know he had; what a joke. It feels like a joke, a cruel joke being played.

When you were just a teen, you used to dream about your future and imagine all these different scenarios of what your life would be like together. You'd probably have a couple of kids, all taking after their father, considering that Oni's blood was seriously dominant.

Simat really does look like her father other than her tan skin, which made her eyes really pop. There's a knock at the door, and you tell her to come in just as you finish (throwing your hair up/pinning it back).

She looks charming in your clothes, almost looking like you, frankly. Waving her over, she takes a step in front of you by the sink as you reach for a brush. "It doesn't seem like anyone took care of your beautiful hair, so I'm going to brush it and then cut a little. Is that okay?" Another nod so you diligently get to work.

Her tangles had mostly calmed down after you soaked it in detangler, so you didn't have to struggle much. However, the ends were really poor, with a considerable amount of split ends, so you had to cut off quite a few inches. Those precious locks that reached her ankles were now just a little past her bum, but now that you see curls coming in, you realize she had curly hair.

No one seemed to take care of it, so there's no way those curls would have flourished. Luckily, you had some curl cream that would do wonders for the shape.

"I'm going to use the blow dryer, so be prepared for the loud noise, okay?" Simat nodded as she raised her hands to cover her face, which was too cute. For now, you put it on medium and scrunched her hair while drying it from below.

"When I was younger, I wanted to be a hairstylist so bad. I thought I was so skilled when I gave all my dolls haircuts. Looking back at it now, I was actually pretty terrible, but my dad told me I was good enough to be a professional." You look at Simat in the mirror and see her daddy in every aspect. "Dads love their little girls very much. Sometimes, they're a little too overbearing, dictating everything we can and cannot do. I used to hate my dad, who always embarrassed me in front of my friends and never let me stay out late. But I look back on it and think how grateful I am that my father took my hate silently so that I could be protected."

You don't know what Kohaku has been doing these past years or what he's up to, but the one thing you know is that he would be a good father. After all, he brought Simat here to put her safety above all else, even if it made it look like he was abandoning her.

"Alright, you're all done! Look at these curls! You don't even know how much money girls spend just to get something similar." Simat lowers her hands to look in the mirror, and it is another arrow to the heart as she curiously raises her hair to play with the bounce. "Okay, go to the living room and finish your movie while I change."

You didn't even ask her a question, but she nodded her head and went down the hall. Slowly, she seems to be opening up, and hopefully, you can get her to be as comfortable as possible.

After cleaning up and putting everything away, you change into jeans and a turtleneck before grabbing a jacket and making your way over to the kitchen, where you left your phone. There are a couple of missed calls from Rafe and a few missed texts from his parents, but you don't even want to see them, so you just swipe them away.

To your surprise, there was a text from an unknown number.

◤

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

Arise sunshine, I hope u got ur beauty sleep in. I'll be busy today and tomorrow, so I won't be able to talk much throughout the day, but before she goes to bed, try to give me a call. I'd like to speak to her.

Also, thanks again for taking care of her during my absence. I know it took u a lot to put aside everything and accept it, and I really appreciate that. No one is as reliable as u r. 💖 😘

◢

What a kissa**, trying to butter you to lessen your anger. Unfortunately, It's working. With a sigh, you lean against the wall and respond.

◤

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

Yeah, yeah.

So far, Simat's doing really well. She's still pretty nonverbal, but I have her nodding yes and shaking her head for no. It seems like your ex really neglected her, but I'm trying to get her to open up at her own pace.

I'm going to take her shopping. I need to get her clothes that fit and some other necessities that the kid needs.

◢

To your surprise, right when you are about to put your cellular device away, it vibrates to show a reply from your ex.

◤

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

Ur so responsible I'm envious😙😙

If there is one thing I miss, it's being coddled by u. It was nice to lay in bed and have u bring evryt to me.😪😵‍💫

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

Why do you still text like a teenage girl?

The amount of emojis you use makes me sick. Please get them off my screen before I block you and take your kid away.

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

There is nothing against a grown man using abbreviations.

Stop being prejudiced (Y/n)😠🥶. U really need to fix that stereotyping.

+get Simat wtv she needs and get urself a little smth on the side.

Ps. If u still like cherry panties and end up buying sum, pls send pics.

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

First of all, I'm an independent woman, and I make good money, so I can buy whatever Simat and I want.

SECOND OF ALL YOU LITTLE PERVERT

I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP!

DO NOT ASK FOR PANTY SHOTS UNLESS YOU'D LIKE MY BOYFRIEND TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

+XXX - XXX - YYYY

I can fight.

◢

He is literally so damn obnoxious you cannot stand him. You're just going to leave him on read, but you will take your money, not because you need it. Who would give up free money?

Shutting off your phone, you place it in your back pocket, grab your purse and keys from the nightstand, and then call out to the girl. "Come, Simat. We're going to go to the store and get you the things that you need."

The kid turned to face you before glancing down at her doll and then back at you. "Yes, you can bring your doll. Just don't drop it, okay." she nods quickly before hopping off the bed and running up to you.

With everything ready, you exit your front door and lock it with your keypad and fingerprint. Once that's done, the two of you make your way to the elevator, which requires a key card to operate, and begin your descent to the parking lot.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Simat didn't mind your music while on the ride; she seemed infatuated with the city, watching everything that could be seen. As she sits in the back seat, you give yourself a mental note to buy a booster seat as well.

Due to the morning traffic, it took a little while to get to the mall, but you both made it safely and parked close to the entrance. With there being many people on a Saturday morning, you crouch down and meet the girl's gaze.

"Do you want to hold my hand so you don't get lost in the crowd?" It didn't take much convincing for her to nod her head and stick out her left hand. With a smile, you grabbed it gently but held it firmly as the two of you entered.

With the holiday coming up, it was a bit hectic with all the people there, though the discounts and sales were a nice bonus. First, you wanted to get everything Simat needed before you even looked at your favorite stores.

Once you enter the mall and start looking at the things you like, you lose all sense of time and are there for hours.

The little Oni held your hand in her own as she obediently followed you and stayed by your side. While you shopped and picked up clothes that looked in her size, she surveyed everything she could. She watched people like they were in a movie, almost like something she didn't see very often.

After filling up your basket, it came to your favorite part: the try-on! Of course, you don't mean to take advantage of how obedient she is, but it is crucial that her clothes fit and look good.

Sitting by the bench by the mirrors and dressing rooms, you giddily awaited every outfit. And you were not disappointed! Every fit looked perfect with her adorable face, cute baby horns, and gorgeous curly hair. Honestly, if you hadn't gotten the job you did, you could have pursued fashion.

She looked good in everything, and you had to make sure to get a few onesies and animal sweatshirts. There was a hoodie with cat ears that she particularly liked looking at—geez, it was just absolutely adorable.

Even though Kohaku pissed you off, you still sent him a few pictures of his daughter that you were sure he'd appreciate.

With the clothes bought and paid for, you went to a store and let Simat look around. She seemed to like playdough and legos. Then, when coming across the stuffies, her eyes sparked on the dragon and wolf. Of course, they were a must, so you bought three each.

The Oni refused to let them pack it up, so she carried her Orc doll, one dragon, and one wolf stuffed toy. It was both adorable and funny how she carried around these massive toys with a blank look on her face.

Another snap of a picture, saved and sent.

Now that her part of the shopping was done, you decided to skip a few unimportant stores since you've already been shopping for so long. It helped that you rented out one of the children's push carts that have a fake car attached to the front so Simat could sit down when she got tired.

Surprisingly, it was nice shopping with Simat, although her obedience and non-verbal speech made it easy. You wonder what it would be like having your own child by your side to shop with. They'd probably be rowdy, complaining about being bored and exhausted from being on their feet.

And now that you're thinking about it, you don't even see having kids in the future, at least with Rafe. He's a good man; he makes you happy, and your relationship is decent and healthy. But right now, you can't see that far in the future with Rafe. You wonder if it's because your ex-boyfriend suddenly showed up again after six years to stir up your old feelings. It's hard to forget your first love when that was the person you believed wholeheartedly was yours forever.

But just like before, you'll have to let him go as he is only in your life again for a short while.

When the music quieted down, you were surprised to hear Simat's stomach growl. She even looked down, embarrassed. You told her that you were going to buy whatever was in your hand, and then you'd both get something to eat.

It was bustling in the food court with so many people talking and so much general noise. Holiday music was blaring through the speakers while the rings and dings that food was ready echoed out.

There's just something you love about places that are filled with vigor. Thankfully, Simat didn't seem to mind either as she rode in her little fake car. You got her some chicken tenders and fries and something simple for yourself since you wanted room for dinner, considering you both were eating a little later. For a dessert, though, you did decide to buy some cinnamon pretzels.

They've been your favorite snack since forever, something you always get whenever you're shopping at the mall.

Just like this morning, she seemed to wait until you started eating before digging it, but when she started eating, she didn't stop until it was empty. Again, she was even patting her full belly like earlier; geez, it was so cute!

Arrow to the heart!

A couple of times, Rafe tried to call, but you texted him that you were busy, and eventually, you just shut your phone to have some space from him. As much as you love him, you don't want to see him questioning if you're hanging out with other men while you're trying to enjoy the outing with Simat.

Once you both were done, you looked around a little more until an hour or two passed by, and then you decided it was time to move. You drove to the general store and bought the actual necessities Simat would need while also getting groceries and more toys. She got a few bubble blowers and bath playthings before you called it quits.

If you'd let her, she'd probably grab the entire bubble toy section.

Now that everything was purchased, you began the drive home with her new booster seat. Only a few minutes into the drive, she had fallen asleep against the door. You had to wait until a stop to take a picture of her mouth open and arms draped by the side.

You wonder if she felt safe enough to fall asleep in your presence. Most neglected children would probably stay awake for survival, so seeing her ease up like this was a blessing,

For the rest of the drive, you took your time with the music calm and on low. Oddly enough, this has probably been one of the most gratifying off days you've had. It was peaceful and fun...something you've been missing from life for a while now.

Pulling into the underground parking lot, you came to a stop and softly called out to the girl. She jolted awake quickly, blue and green eyes wide open as she assessed her surroundings before rapidly calming down and her expression resuming the usual blankness.

"Hey, girl. Did you have a good nap?" She slowly nodded her head while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "We are back now, but if you are still sleepy, you can finish your nap when we get upstairs." With another nod, you both exited the vehicle, grabbed all the bags, and made your way to the elevator.

With everything you got, it was actually cumbersome, but Mama ain't raise no b*tch, and you're going to take everything in one trip. "Press the button with the number 5." She studied the buttons for a second before clicking the right one and glancing up at you as though she were waiting for something. "Good job!" She nodded seriously.

On your floor, you took a deep breath before picking everything up again, speed-walked down the hall, and took the corner before reaching your place at the end. You entered the security lock and your thumbprint and pushed it wide open to carry everything in.

Quickly, you dropped everything down in the foyer and stood back to full height while shaking your arms. "Phew, my wrist." You complained softly before turning your attention to Simat, who stood silently by your side. "Alright, you can go watch TV while I put everything away. I'll start dinner after, and we'll eat together, okay?"

With one of her nods, she takes her three giant dolls and walks over to the living room before doing a little hop to get on the bed.

Now that you were preoccupied, you took your time putting away the groceries and necessities. With her clothes, you pulled out a couple of your collapsable bins and folded her clothes inside. It'll be in your room for now against the wall, so when she needs to change, everything will be right here.

For dinner, you made loco moco, which should be easily digestible. And who doesn't like hamburgers, rice, a sunny-side-up egg, and brown gravy? Like before, she waited until you took your seat and took a bite first before eating.

After this big plate, you honestly could go to sleep right then and there, but it was too early, and you didn't want to leave Simat alone. Her toys are all in the ottoman in the living room, so after washing dishes, you let her pull out the things she wanted and played along. Her obsession right now seemed to be the bubbles, so you stood around blowing them as she jumped around, trying to catch them.

You even sent a video to Kohaku, who still had yet to see the images from earlier. He must be pretty preoccupied if he couldn't look at them yet. Hopefully, he answers when you put her to bed; it would be good if he showed consistency.

"Alright, Simat. It's bath time. Put your toys away, okay?" She nods, following your orders until the living room is clean again, and shuffles towards the bathroom, where you have already filled the tub with warm water and more soapy bubbles.

Simat's hair texture and scalp didn't seem to need to be washed every day, though you'll scrub it again just for tonight, but this time with products that align with her hair type. All clean, you took her out and gave her a robe her size before traveling to the bedroom, where you pulled out a matching set of kitty pajamas.

She changed while you cleaned up the bathroom and wiped water that fell out of the bath. When you checked the time, it had just hit eight p.m. At her age, she shouldn't go to sleep any later than nine, so you ushered her to her bed in the living room.

It now looked more like it belonged to a child with her seven stuffed animals and pink fluffy blanket. "Simat, it's bedtime. Come lay down, and I'll try to call your father." You tell her, and she comes over to hop on the mattress and snuggle beneath the covers.

Taking a deep breath, you called and hoped he answered for the sake of his daughter. However, it seems your prayers fell on deaf ears as it continued to ring and ring before ending when the call dropped. You tried again, and still, you received no response; it was just the automatic voicemail coming up.

Now, you have to be the bearer of bad news. "I'm sorry, Simat-" Kohaku's number pops up on the screen, and you breathe a sigh of relief. "About time you answer!"

He laughs on the line as you hear the sound of cracking and buzzing fading off in the distance. "Sorry, sorry, please don't rip my head off! I said I would try to answer, but I get even busier at night."

"Doing what?" You challenge only to receive an awkward chuckle in response. Sighing, you lean back against the bed and speak. "Whatever, I don't wanna know. I'm going to hand over the phone to Simat." Without waiting for an answer, you give your phone to the girl, who holds it close with both hands.

Geez, it looks so cute, arrow to the heart!

While the two 'talked, ' you got up and went to your room to grab a change of clothes and hair products for afterward. He seemed to be talking a lot, so you took a seat in your office and checked over your work emails.

It appears everything has been running smoothly while you've been off. This is not a surprise, considering most get their act together for a holiday bonus at the office during the holidays. Less work meant less stress and less stress meant happier days and more off time.

There's a soft knock on your door frame, and you look up to see Simat in the doorway with your phone in her hand. "Oh, are you done speaking with Daddy?" She nods and comes closer to hand over your phone. "Okay, go lay down, and I'll be there to tuck you in."

You wait for her to be out of sight before raising your phone and asking, "Hello?"

"Hey, it seems like you two had a good day."

"Yeah, did you get a chance to look at the pictures and stuff I sent?" You ask and lean back in your swivel chair.

"I did!" He responds with a slight laugh. There's a flicking sound, something you recognized as the flicking open of a zippo lighter. "I saw you cut and did her hair; it looks really good. Also, she looked so cute in the Christmas dress. Try to have her wear that during the holiday."

A smile plays on your lips while you shake your head. "She looked so cute in everything else, too. It seemed like she really liked clothes with cat or dog ears that she could play with. For Christmas, you should get her some Legos, probably a medieval castle with a dragon. She seems fascinated with dragons and wolves."

"I love that. She's creative!"

You hate the way you can practically hear and see his smile from his voice. It brings about that nostalgia and deep yearning you've been pushing down. "Do you want to hear about our day?"

"Of course, I'm surprised you even asked."

B*stard, you wish he was just an asshole so you didn't feel this way. But right now, all you can do is keep it in the back of your head, as this is not permanent. In a few months, both of them will gone, and you'll never see them again.

So, you told him everything about the day, starting with breakfast and the little things you noticed all the way down to her snuggling up in bed and eagerly awaiting to hear from her father. You wanted him to know everything that you've observed so it would be easier for him to understand and take care of her.

Switching dominant guardians would probably be stressful, but hopefully, it'll be easy for her to assimilate to the change.

"And that's everything. I'm off tomorrow and the next day, so if you're going to come over, give me a heads-up so I can make food or something." You murmur while playing with the ends of your hair.

"I got sh*t to do tomorrow, but the next day, I'll definitely come by. It will probably be later in the afternoon, so have some mochi crunch ready for me to pound."

"For real?" You question while rising from your seat. "You're going to bloat up eating all that soy. Do you really want to scare your daughter by turning into a mush monster?"

He gasps on the line and murmurs something in Japanese that you cannot hear. "First of all, you need not to be so judgmental, you judgmental b*tch. People get canceled over things like that. Second of all, I ain't hearing sh*t from you, who eats like two bags of hot Cheetos a week."

After all these years, he can still joke like it were just the two of you again, sitting at the small theater and making a fool himself. It makes sense; everyone always wanted to be his friend with his high charisma and colorful humor.

It makes sense why he couldn't be yours forever. A man like that belongs to others, not to a small-town girl like you. "Whatever. I need to take a shower, so I'm hanging up now. Just be aware I'll be calling you every night at eight because I don't want her going to bed too late."

"Got it—good night (Y/n). And thanks again for taking care of her. You've always been good at taking care of other people. I just know you're going to fill her with every bit of love and joy you bring. People have always liked coming to you to feel better."

There's that warmth again in your belly, that little sting that both hurts and feels good. You both want him to get out of your life and stay.

"Goodnight." Is all you could muster before ending the call and exhaling a deep breath. For now, you don't want to think about him anymore. "Did I take too long?" You ask the little Oni as you come over to the couch.

She shook her head sluggishly, proving her point wrong as she struggled to stay awake. With a small smile, you tuck her in and lay her stuffies by her side as she snuggles the Orc one. "Goodnight, Simat. Sweet dreams. I'll come wake you in the morning, and we'll have some bacon and eggs, okay?"

Simat doesn't nod this time; however, you do see the faintest smile on her lips when the TV screen flashes brightly.

Arrow to the heart!

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

The following day, you two stayed in your robes and ate breakfast together before lying in her bed together. With the rain wreaking havoc on the outside, you both decided to stay in and pass the day on.

She seemed to want to watch the Dragon Ball movies, so you had a marathon all day with candies and fruits in the living room. Of course, you made sure to fill her in on the lore since there was so much that happened throughout the series that she was not aware of.

When there are things that catch her interest, she becomes consumed by them, having to indulge in all forms of content before letting it go. It kind of reminds you of yourself and your unhealthy obsession with certain books when you were younger—some of the worst and best times of your life.

For lunch, you had hot dogs and chips before watching some more, and for dinner, it consisted of smoked pork and green beans. The cycle repeated as you played a little bit longer before she showered and lay down to talk to her father.

This time, he thankfully answered on the first ring, and two could talk. When they were done, she handed the phone right back to you, only for Kohaku to ask how your day was again. You both spoke for a little bit before you ended the call and tucked Simat in.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

It was the day when your ex-boyfriend would be coming over, and you couldn't stop the anxiety you were feeling...nor the excitement of seeing him. So wrong; it was wrong for you to feel like for another man while you were in a relationship.

But it's fleeting, it should be.

Today, you both ate some cereal and changed into different clothes. It was not raining, but heavy gloomy clouds remained, so you decided to take Simat out to an arcade. Her blue and green eyes had sparked in the flashing lights of the game room, and you could for once see her excitement.

Whatever she wanted to play, she got it, and when you played air hockey with her, she just kept beating you. It made no sense; you used to be the undefeated champion?! Even Kohaku fell to your power; it was absolutely unbelievable.

She ate your a** up in almost every other competitive game; at some point, you just had to let her go off and play the games herself. Eventually, it was a little past one, and you wanted to be back before her father arrived, so you brought her to the reward section and let her get whatever she wanted.

An arrow stuck you in the heart when she bought matching mood rings and gave you one.

The drive back was peaceful, and when you arrived at your apartment, you were surprised to see Kohaku leaning against your door as he scrolled on his phone.

"Hey, you pig." You call out and start approaching him. "I thought I said to give me a heads-up. It's gonna make me look suspicious if some emo creep hangs around my front door."

Kokahu fakes an injury as he holds a hand to his heart and swings a plastic bag by his side. "I'm hurt. How can you get even prettier but meaner as the time goes by." He whines. "I even brought you your favorite dessert from the bakery back home, and this is how you treat me?"

Damn, now you feel like sh*t and bashful from his compliment. His stupid a** continues to be such a smooth talker, and he doesn't even realize the effects they are having on you.

"Whatever." You mumble and enter your password, making sure to cover it from prying eyes before opening the door and letting everyone in.

Simat heads in first and goes straight to her bed, where she tries to grab all her stuffies and brings them over to her dad to see. "Wow, what is all this?" He exclaims and kneels, only for her to shove them into his arms.

"I told you, she has an obsession with dragons and wolves." You respond while placing her arcade bag down on the coffee table.

"Did they not have any Oni stuffies?" he asks, coming closer so he can collapse on the couch bed.

You turned to him with an expression as though you couldn't believe the dense sh*t that came out of his mouth. "Are you dumb? Have you seen the Oni stuffies they sell? It'll give her nightmares!"

Kohaku only mocks you, clicking his tongue and smacking his lips as he looks away.

"Simat, why don't you take out your bubbles, and your daddy can set up the automatic one?" She nodded enthusiastically before removing the ottoman's top and all her bubble toys and devices.

With those two busy, you get out the snacks and make them a tray, placing them down on the nightstand before returning to the kitchen to start dinner.

The two seemed to get along; it was easy for Kohaku to get along with anyone. He was also the one the kids always liked, no matter their sass or attitude.

Simat is in good hands; she probably won the game by getting him as her father. He'd honestly spoil her so rotten that you're going to have to instill gratefulness into her so she doesn't get a nasty attitude later on.

For today's menu, there were buttered noodles and shrimp with a side of fresh Cezar salad. Wait...you don't know if Simat likes seafood or is allergic to it. "Hey, Kohaku."

The man hums before you hear him shift and make his way over. "What is it?" When you look up, you have to stop yourself from audibly gasping. He took off his leather jacket and shirt, leaving him in a black tank top and jeans.

His arms have grown to a much larger and sculpted shape, not to mention the wiggly veins that protrude against his pale skin. He's always been fit and attractive, but he seemed to have gone through a second growth spurt, and he exerts masculinity right in front of you.

"Uh. What was I saying..." You state out loud before shaking your head and returning your gaze to the pot. "Oh, right. Did her mom say anything about allergies, like seafood? I'm making butter noodles with shrimp, but I don't know if she's allergic."

He shakes his head while stepping forward and leaning over the pot. "No, not from what I'm aware. And I've got to say, I really missed your cooking. My dad still nags me about getting some beef stew that he had last time all those years ago."

Your heart skips a beat, and blood rushes to your face as you focus on cleaning the shrimp. "Well, nothing beats a home-cooked meal, and your dad could never cook for sh*t." A laugh rings out from your lips from just the memory.

Staying over at his dad's place on the farm always resulted in you and Kohaku secretly feeding the dogs whatever his father made. It was nearly unedible that only an animal could genuinely eat. Because of that, you'd go up to his room later and snack on all the treats you hid in the mini-fridge.

The thoughts bring about nostalgia, but you quickly push it away when you feel that bubbling pressure in your chest.

What the hell? Why do you want to cry? Why do you still care? Why doesn't he care like you do?

"Anyway, uh, that's all I had to ask. You can go back to playing with her." You mumbled and waved one of your dirty hands at the exit of the kitchen.

"You sure?" Kohaku inquires while taking a step forward. "I can help, you know."

Why does he have to be so nice!? No one told him he had to be so considerate; no one told him he had to make up for obliterating your heart. "No, Kohaku. I already said you can go back. You didn't come here to hang out with me, so don't waste your time." You didn't mean for attitude to spill from your lips, yet the building anger at yourself was unleashed on him.

He doesn't say anything, but you can feel his gaze following your movement as you take the tray of shrimp to the sink to clean. No way could you face him at this moment; the embarrassment mortified you, and it would literally kill you to see him giving you a pitiful expression.

How pathetic it must be when he can see that you still care so much about him.

"Just give me a holler if you need anything." He responds after a moment of silence, and you only hum back.

His footsteps fade, and only once you hear his voice faintly from the living room do you allow yourself to turn and face the spot he was standing in.

Dammit, he fell out of love while you never left.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

"Alright, everyone, wash your hands and come to the dinner table!" You inform them while plating their dishes in your fancy bowls.

Kohaku says something before you hear little fit pitter-patter against the wooden floors as though she were running. He's quick to follow behind, laughing slightly until you hear him praise her as they reach the bathroom.

Carrying their food, you place them down on the table and return to pour them glasses of water. This feeling of domestication riddles through your brain, igniting flares of satisfaction from within. You've always been a giver and a provider, and doing exactly so scratches a burning itch.

"Look at this!" Kohaku exclaims while entering the dining room, carrying Simat on his hip. "No one cooks as good as (Y/n). I swear, you are so lucky you get to her food every day." While he speaks, he reaches over to pinch her little chubby cheeks.

"You're a grown man. You can make your own food." You murmur as you leave to place the pitcher of water back in the fridge.

"What a killjoy!" He shouts before saying something inaudible to his daughter.

Now that everything is ready, you grab your own bowls of food and return to eat with them. As you approach, you hear his usual 'itadakimasu' and almost trip over your own feet. In that moment, you could practically be transferred right back into the past.

This is eating you up alive... You're not going to be able to last before you die again of a broken heart.

It took you a moment and a few deep breaths until you could return and settle down. By then, he was already halfway through his food, chowing down like a pig, with his heterochromatic eyes twinkling in enjoyment.

He suddenly burps loudly and apologizes before turning to face his daughter and pointing his chopsticks at her. "Why aren't you eating? Do you not like it?"

"She does this often," you say, your attention on your bowl as you prepare your own pair and start collecting the noodles. "She only starts eating after I take the first bite."

Kohaku's gaze settles on your body, but you don't say anything anymore before taking a bite and chewing. Now, Simat follows and splits her chopsticks before eating, too.

"You're cute, Simat." The older Oni states as he reaches over to swipe a small piece of garlic from her face.

The girl blinks, almost looking stunned, even if her expression remains neutral, and it breaks a smile on your face. "She is, very much so."

Nothing more is said as everyone continues to eat. Kohaku went back for seconds and made an even bigger bowl than what you made initially, but you're not going to complain. It's better he eats it all than letting it rot in the fridge before you throw it out.

A sudden ringing from your room grabs your attention, and you realize you are getting a phone call. "Oh, I'll be right back," you murmur and shift to get up and make your way down the hall.

However, your eyes nearly widen when you realize it is Rafe calling. "Shit." You had been so preoccupied with Simat that you hadn't been in contact with him at all this whole time.

"Hello?" You answered and quietly shut your door for privacy.

"Hello? Hello!? Babe, how can you not talk to me for two days straight? Not even just a quick text goodnight or good morning!?"

He had every right to be mad because it took minimal effort to stay in contact and let him know you were still alive. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've just been so busy, you know-"

"With what!?" He snaps, and you nearly recoil from his blaring tone. "You don't work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, so what the hell have you been doing?

There's a lump in your throat that nearly chokes you dead. "First of all, watch your tone when you talk to me. I already apologized for not staying in contact. Second of all, if I'm busy, then I'm busy. It's the holiday, I still haven't bought any presents, and I still need to help management prepare for the office party. Just because it was my off days doesn't mean I hadn't work to do." Straight lying through your teeth, you swear you could have been struck down for such a vice.

Though you weren't wrong, there were still things you needed to do...you just haven't gotten to them yet.

"And that warranted not even a text? You know what, I'm coming over. We need to talk face to face." Your breath hitches, and alarmed 'no!' comes from your lips without your will.

"I-I'm not going to see you when you're pissed off. You know you say things you don't mean when you're angry, and I'm going to take that right now. I'm really sorry for not keeping in contact, and I'll do better. I'm in the middle of eating, so don't talk to me until you've calmed down and thought thoroughly about what you want to say."

You don't wait for him to respond and hang up. A sigh expells deep from within your lungs as you collapse on your bed and stare up at the ceiling. Rafe was not entirely in the wrong; you could have done better. It does make you feel awful keeping this from him; you've never been one to carry such big secrets.

If he were just more understanding, you could let him in, and he could even help if he really wanted. But if you think about it, if one of his ex-girlfriends dropped off their kid, who wasn't even related to Rafe, and told him to care for them, you don't know how you'd feel.

"Ugh!" You're an awful person; everything you've been doing is just reinforcing that. You're in a relationship, yet you're letting these past feelings for an ex affect you! It's not right; it was never right.

You should have slammed that door in his face the minute you saw him. You should have left him alone to deal with his own responsibility. You should have gotten rid of these feelings a long time ago before moving on and getting with a different person.

But you thought you had. You spent years working on yourself and your career, getting to the point where you didn't need a man in your life to be there for you. In the time being, you went on a few dates here and there, but when you really felt ready, you settled down with Rafe.

No more, you don't even want to think of this anymore. For now, you just need to handle this. It's only a month or two more, and then they're both gone.

At this point, your stomach is queasy from the mess inside your head, and you're no longer hungry. You return only to grab your bowls and dump the remaining food. Simat was still finishing what little remained, so you began washing the dishes and attempting to busy yourself.

Work starts tomorrow, and you have to go in early. Once you finish this, you'll have to call the nursery school or a pre-k so they can watch Simat while you are at work. You'll have to explain some circumstances, but overall, most daycare workers are understanding and accommodating, so you shouldn't have much to worry about.

Hopefully, Simat will be okay. It's probably too early for her to make friends when she's still opening up to you and her father. However, the environment would most likely do her some good, and she can see how children her age act with one another.

"Thank you for the meal!" Kohaku beams as he steps into the kitchen to hand you their empty dishes.

You only hum in response and continue what you are doing. The Oni sighs, and in your peripheral, you see him lean against the counter. "Is everything okay? You've been kind off since-"

"Since what?" You interject and finally turn your head to meet his beautiful gaze. "I'm busy taking care of your responsibility and trying to make sure your daughter gets everything she needs while you're off doing god(s) knows what." He didn't deserve your anger; all that is happening is your own Karma. Nevertheless, you just need him to stop this good guy act at this point. Receiving his kindness just makes it harder to move on.

A pathetic laugh makes its way from your lips as you shake your head. "Honestly, you show up at my door in the middle of the night after no contact for six years just to drop off a kid from the relationship you left me for. How ironic is that?" Another laugh echoes out from the sheer audacity. "It's so ludicrous that I can't even believe I let you just walk all over me like that. Am I just a joke to you?"

"What!?" He exclaims and shakes his head while standing straight up. "Of course not. I-"

"Not a joke, yet you treated our relationship the way you did once you went to college?" Your interjection silences whatever words are on his lips as he looks away to bite his lips.

Shutting off the water, you begin drying your hands on a dish towel and keeping your gaze away. "It's whatever. You fell out of love, right? I wasn't what you wanted, and that's just the way life is. But I will never forget the feeling of not being enough. And you're only making it worse by pitying me and trying to make up for how you did me so dirty."

Finally, you turn and face him, standing right in front of him and craning your neck to stare into his beautiful eyes. "I'm your ex. You're my ex. You're not obligated to do anything for me."

"I just... can't." He murmurs with a frown. "Before we were even in a relationship, we were best friends."

With a scornful laugh, you find yourself at your limit. Shaking your head, you step past him, only stop midway and turn back. "We're not friends now and will never be again. Get that through your head."

You don't let him say anymore, leaving him in his spot as you make your way to your office and shut the door.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

You stayed in your office working on backed-up drafts and clearing fallen deals for the rest of the night. The two continued to play for a while until you got up, only to open the door and yell down the hall that he needed to bathe her.

He's a grown man; he should know how to bathe his own daughter so you can just leave them be. While you worked, they seemed to spend a long time in there before you heard their feet padding across the floor back towards the living room.

You're not sure how much time had passed before there was a knock at the door that spurred you to jump in surprise. Sighing, you mumbled a 'come in' or something along those lines as you resumed reading the documents on your screen.

The door parts slowly, and from your peripheral, you see Kohaku sticking his head in as he takes in the appearance of that room. "I just put Simat to bed, so I'm gonna get going."

"Okay. You can show yourself." You reply without giving him your full attention.

He remains still as though there is still something left on his tongue. And you were right as you heard him take a deep breath and open his mouth. "I'm sorry-"

"F*ckin A." You sneer and snap your head to face him. "Is that all you know what to say? Your head f*ckin broken? Can't come up with anything other than useless, thoughtless apologies? Just shut up and leave."

Those words hit the nail on the head as he suddenly nods his head and runs a hand through his black and white hair. "...You're right." That is all he says as he turns and begins walking away.

You sit stagnant, listening to his fading footsteps before the front door opens and shuts quickly with a faint click.

Alone, you finally break down, and a sob stuck in your throat finally pours out in strained waves.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

The following day, you got ready for work and made breakfast for the both of you. While dressing her up for the day and packing her bag with snacks and her toys, you explained what was going on. She seemed to understand, but you made sure to tell her everything about how the day was going to go.

With a nice drive, you took her to the daycare and talked with the lady there a little bit to remind them of Simat's unique qualities. She seemed genuine, so you gave the little Oni a big hug and told her to be a good girl before leaving for work.

Everything was normal; it went by with the usual minor annoyances here and picking up the slack of your department. Half of them usually get so lazy during the holidays, and the other half works their finger to the bone to get that second Christmas bonus.

As you busied yourself, you couldn't help the little anxiety in your heart. You worried about Simat and hoped she was doing well. If anything happened to her, you would go off; it doesn't matter if they're just kids. There is this intense desire to protect her even though she is not yours. It's surprising how easily you grew attached to her, but then again, she is just a little girl.

Honestly, you couldn't wait to pick her up, but of course, someone messed up an insurance deal, and you had to stay behind to fix it. You're the unit supervisor; this should be designated to someone else, but they're all incompetent.

Once you finished it, you were out the door. People were trying to talk to you, yet you ignored them as you rushed to your car and sped towards the nursery. You were at least an hour later than what you promised, and I hope she was not resentful.

When you arrived, you threw the car in park at the front and rushed to get inside. Glancing around, you tried to find Simat, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Ms. (L/n)?"

Your head whipped around to see the worker from earlier. "Hello! I'm sorry I'm late. I was pushed into overtime." Words spill out of your mouth as you attempt to calm yourself.

The young lady only nods in an understanding manner. "It's no worries; most parents usually end up working later than expected. Follow me. Simat's been waiting eagerly for you." She expresses and waves an arm in an indication to follow her.

Leading over to another space, you see it's a small room with desk put together where some kids are coloring. In the corner, Simat sat by herself with her head down as she played with her Orc doll. Even though her face always remained in the usual neutral expression, her sagging shoulders and low gaze felt close to melancholy.

Quietly, with soft steps, you strode up to her from behind before kneeling carefully in your work skirt. "What are you playing?" As soon as she hears your voice, her entire body perks up. Her head snaps in your direction with a slight glimmer of tears glossing over in her colorful iris'.

Unexpectedly, her little hands drop her favorite doll to reach forward and grasp the front of your button-up and conceal her face in your chest. You hadn't expected such a reaction, nor did you think she'd display an expressive depiction of emotion. "Simmy, did you think I abandoned you?" She nods after a moment of hesitation, which strikes you right in the heart.

Softly grasping her shoulders, you pull her back so you can look into those icy blue and line green eyes. Tears are staining her tan cheeks, which you wipe away softly. "I would never. I have you, and you have me. I'm not going anywhere. Now, let's go home and make something to eat, okay?"

Rubbing her tiny fist against her eyes, she takes a deep breath, nods, and turns back to grab her pink bag and doll before returning to you. She even holds your hand without you asking, squeezing tightly as though she were afraid you'd slip away.

How are you going to be able to let her go when the time comes?

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Through a consistent cycle, you continue to care for Simat, with her father calling every night before she goes to bed. Every two days, he shows up to see her while you maintain your distance. Sometimes, he takes her out to the arcade or ice skating, which you know does wonders for her development.

You can see the evolution of her opening up and expressing herself without constraint. She conveys her dislikes more without fear and actively does her own thing without having to be told to. You didn't think you could be so proud of a child that was not yours, but here you are.

Still, she has yet to speak, which had you severely worried, but the daycare tried to explain some situations to you. From Sim's early childhood, she went through a lot of neglect and stress, which probably formed a health condition called SM, Selective Mutism. It's an anxiety disorder that were affecting her verbal ability to communicate in regular or social situations.

There were many paths you could take to help her: mental health therapy, speech therapy, or even medication if it comes down to it. At her age, you'd really like to stay away from medicating her, so it will only be acknowledged in a desperate need.

For now, you and Kohaku agreed to continue what you have been doing and assimilate her into a healthy dynamic. After a few months, she'll go back with him, and then he'll take his daughter to get her recommendations for mental health and speech therapy. As much as you'd like to give her the proper treatment now, it would be best for her to participate in it when she can be in a more permanent environment.

This is only temporary, but the effects you have on her, as well as the effects she has on you, will become permanent.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

November passed, and most of December did before it finally became Christmas Eve. You had your work party, and luckily, it was on the day Kohaku came over. And because it was the holiday, he agreed to sleep over for Christmas.

Currently, the two were outside playing in the snow. You can see them from your window as you peek to check up on them.

Three snowmen are built: a little one, another slightly bigger, and a humongous one. The small one has the oversized pink sweater she wore when she first showed up. The middle one has a giant smile and a huge heart drawn over the middle. The biggest one was wearing Kohaku's leather jacket, which slightly sagged on its stick arms.

Snow continued to fall and build up in the yard; you could practically hear the crunch of it beneath their feet. Simat suddenly fell back, staring up at the clouded grey sky that began to grow dark with the passing of the afternoon. You can see her breath in the air, the cold whisp drifting as she breathed out.

Kohaku smiled as he came over to pat her face and collapse next to her lightly. He said something you couldn't hear before moving his arms and legs, which his daughter mimicked. They both stood up together and took a step back to look over the snow angels they made.

Someday, you'd like to be down there and play along as the cold numbs the tips of your fingers and burns the surface of your face. But your place isn't by their side, and very slowly, you are coming around to accept.

You're almost done getting ready for the party, finished with your hair and makeup, and are now just waiting for Rafe to come pick you up, as he is your plus one. Leaving your spot from the window, you make your way to the kitchen, where you fill a kettle with water and place it on the burner.

Checking the oven, dinner is almost done; it should be ready a little after you depart. You're not worried about leaving the two alone while you're out; they'll be fine. After all, you're not part of their family.

The front door clicks and unlocks as you hear the sound of Kohaku's voice. Then the kettle started screaming, steam spewing out of the spout in rapid waves. Grabbing two mugs from the cupboard, you shake the hot chocolate packets first before pouring a little milk and then the boiling water.

A cacophony of sounds blares from the TV, as it sounds like they resumed their Christmas movie from earlier. Your phone from the bathroom starts to ring, so you quickly place spoons in the mugs and bring them over to the two. "Here," you mumble, placing them down on the coffee table before wiping your hands on the sides of your pants and vacating down the hall.

Answering the phone with a hello, you hear Rafe's voice on the other line. "Hey, I'm about five minutes away. Should I park downstairs or in the front?"

"In the front. I just have to put on my dress." You respond while entering your bedroom. "Love you, be safe."

"Of course, love you too."

The dress for the occasion was a red satin dress, strapless, with a tight-fitting corset that snatched in your waist. You wore a pair of mesh sleeves that reached your upper bicep with white fluff around the band. With a slit on the right side, it was slightly provocative but appealing to show the shape of your leg. Because of its wide flair and slightly long train, you needed to wear a pair of high heels.

To be honest, you felt overdressed, but there are not many events that you go to where you can really dress up and make yourself feel like a pretty princess. Dress on, makeup set, and hair done; the only thing that is left is to grab your matching clutch purse and your keys.

"Alright, I'm going. Try not to stay up too late or burn my place down." At the sound of your approaching voice, Kohaku and Simat turned their heads from the movie to face you. Simmy's eyes twinkled, gleaming in the light as she sat up straighter.

"Wow, gorgeous as ever." The older Oni praised and rested his head against his fist with a smile that showed off his fangs. "Is this prom? Do I need to walk you out to your date and make sure he brings you home at an appropriate time?

Your jaw clenches, and it takes everything in you to eat the words that nearly spewed from your lips unapologetically. It's so funny how he mentions prom when he gave you that promise ring and made a vow to marry you when things settled.

How naive you were to believe it all.

Instead of replying, you step forward to kiss Simmy's forehead and tell her goodbye before leaving and locking the door with the passcode and fingerprint.

You take your time going to the elevator and traveling down, and right as you arrive at the lobby, you see Rafe's vehicle pull up.

When you got in, Rafe did a double take. He smiled and leaned back in his seat. "Who are you dressing to impress?"

"Can't I just dress up for myself?" You inquire with a teasing smile. "I practically planned the entire party myself; I deserve to enjoy it. '

With a nod of his head, your boyfriend placed a hand on your thigh and began to drive towards the office.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

At a party, regardless of whether it's work-related or not, there's obviously going to be alcohol. You tried to stay away, but it teased you with its fuzzy taste and mind-numbing burn. A lot is going on in your life, including a lot of pain and inner turmoil that you have no outlet for.

The source of it dwindles in your home, marking everything with their presence. The bed smells of her, and the air reeks of his cologne. Her hair products lay about in the bathroom; his clothes hide in the closet, obscured but there.

Their shoes sit right there by the door; muddy snow melted on wooden floors. When they leave, getting rid of everything that belonged to them doesn't remove the memories engraved in that place.

Really, what did you do to deserve this pain? Hadn't you suffered enough?

Your head is dizzy; your coordination is off, as though you were out at sea. Everyone at the party was enjoying themselves, with faces red and flushed or lighter and hot. Rafe is somewhere, off in some corner, gambling while playing pool.

Everything tastes the same: the champagne you downed and the water you sipped—it all tastes like bitter resentment.

"Shouldn't the supervisor who planned the party be enjoying it?" You're barely able to turn your head to see one of your co-workers and fellow supervisor approaching.

He was at least a decade older than you, with age lines slightly forming around his slim nose. His hair was dark and slicked back, a single stray over his forehead that contrasted against the bright lights of his blue eyes. While others wore ugly Christmas sweaters, Reno refused to wear anything other than his tailored black suit and red satin tie.

"I'm enjoying it." You hold in a burp and swallow it down. "Don't you see all my drinks?" With gestures at the table, the focus is on the multiple cocktail glasses and stacked shot glasses.

Reno pushed his thin glasses higher up his nose while stepping on the footrest and lifting himself to sit in the high bar chair. "That many drinks are a prescription for a broken heart, supervisor."

You scowl, twisting your face into a scornful expression. "What you know about a broken heart? You married your high school sweetheart." The words burn worse than whiskey down the throat. "Both of you went to prep school in this big a** city but still married each other." Your pettiness comes forward in full sight as your grip grows tighter on your half-drunken glass. "I hate you and your happy little relationship. Get out of my face."

Unit one's supervisor laughs in the throat, his gaze shifting to the window. Even this late at night, the city doesn't sleep. Lights blare and flash, horns blare and whine, and people still walk out, even with the snow amassing on the sidewalk. "Everyone is lucky you're a professional, and do not let your emotions affect your work performance." His response sounded so bureaucratic that it only worsened your mood.

"You are literally the worst person to talk about relationship problems with. I need someone from the streets." Your drunken blunder earns a faint chuckle as the older man reaches for a drink.

He swirled the burgundy liquid around in the Pinot Noir-shaped glass before shifting to face you. "Whether it is someone with expressive slang or not, we'd presumably provide the same advice." With a reserved sip, he drank from his wine with poise. "Whatever troubles you, the most responsible thing is to confront it head-on. Do not dwell in it, do not prolong it, do not tell yourself that if you just wait it out, things will get better."

Vibrations from the holiday music rumble beneath your chair, tingling your toes alongside the alcohol buzzing in your veins. How comical it was when he knew nothing of what you were experiencing but nearly hit the mark.

His simple words somewhat calmed your mind, even managing to get you to sit up and release the glass you had been nursing. "Was Cora your first love?"

Reno licked his lip slightly before setting down his drink. "Actually, no. I had only engaged with my wife a few years after my first love and I became estranged."

That surprised you as everyone always thought Cora was his first love, considering their dedication to each other. "Do you still think of your first love?"

"Ah, I see where this is going." The supervisor declared with a knowing grin. "I will recount my feelings; however, there is a likelihood that you will hear remarks that do more harm than good." You just wave off his concerns and usher him to continue. With a sigh, he glanced down at his left hand and twiddled with the wedding ring.

"Experiencing your first love is something that no one prepares you for. They do not tell you about the overwhelming emotions or passionate romanticization of every little thing. There is no time to ready your hearts that become utterly consumed by one another. I experienced that firsthand with a young woman at prep named Wilhelmina. A lovely girl connected with a duke in Europe, but even without the knowledge of knowing she harbored royal blood, it would not be far-fetched to think she was a princess. Everything about her was dignified, married with elegance and grace. Many men competed for her hand, and of course, I was one among them."

You laugh and drunkenly shake your head. "Why am I not surprised that you had relationships with an actual princess? You truly are a man from a different social class than me."

"Yet we both partake in the same profession," He praises with a raise of his wine glass. "As I was saying, I was attracted to her physical appearance, yes. She was a gorgeous woman; even to this day, many could not even compare. Regardless, her brilliance and compassion outshined all. She was a woman who was all-consuming, and I mean that in the best possible way. Mina treasured knowledge and fell into deep fixation when researching or reading. I was particularly fond of her many tirades when she denounced any bias encountered in educational texts. Very passionate, I must add."

You narrow your eyes and pucker your lips. "This is all sounding too rich for me. Get to the part where she broke your heart."

Reno scrunched his nose. "I suppose you only have forbearance during work hours."

"I'm drunk and suffering. What do you expect from me?" You remark, which yields a hum from the older man.

"Touché, demoiselle. Alright, to the crucial details. Together, our relationship was fiery and passionate. And when I look back at it, I realize it was significantly unhealthy. We became each other's will to live. Life devolved into a diminutive, secluded bubble that others could not penetrate. Every waking moment, we were together, sharing and experiencing the first of certain situations with the other. Many nights, we spoke of what our future would be like, and at the time, neither one of us could fathom a separation. We planned to marry after graduation and move to the Netherlands, where we would live a simple life with a child or two and grow old together. It was idealistic and hopelessly romantic, but to this day, I will never be able to forget that devotion. Nothing I have experienced at this age has even compared. However, it was that strong passion that ended our relationship."

"What...?" You expel with a harsh gasp. "You broke up for what!?"

Reno smiled like a parent with a secret they won't tell you. "The connections we shared were strong, overpowering, but unforgettable. I loved her with everything I had to offer, and she reciprocated that fact, if not pouring even more than I did into our relationship. Perhaps that was when the fire of our devotion fizzled out for me while hers burned even brighter, hotter. Mentally, I struggled to maintain a rhythm at her pace and found myself overwhelmed by the fissures forming. No matter how fast I ran or how long I jogged, I couldn't arrive at the same destinations alongside her anymore. Things changed, feelings changed, and I knew that the responsible thing was to confront her and end the relationship."

Your mouth is dry as the tips of your fingers tingle. "F*ckin A, that's now what I expected. Hey!" You waved over attendance and snatched a shot from her tray before quickly downing it like water. "I wanted your heart shattered! I wanted your heart stepped on and kicked over and utterly obliterated. I hate you men who just fall out of love like it's nothing!" You attempt to grab another shot, but Reno grasps your wrist to stop any movement.

"Go on ahead." He informs the attendant, who quickly departed from your area. Alone, he lowers your wrist to the table and inhales a deep breath like he couldn't catch a break. "I never fell out of love with Wilhelmina. I still loved her, but what we had could not be maintained. I still love her passion; I still treasure her smile, and I still adore her covetousness for knowledge. I still love that woman, but not in the same manner as before. I was too immature to understand when and where to implement boundaries. I was too young to comprehend that a relationship should not be so obsessive. Wilhelmina and I had loved to live when we should have lived to love. It was not until I spent the years working on myself and maturing that I realized the validity of that statement. Engaging with Cora was not out of necessity or compulsion. I did not need to be with her always or see her constantly. I invited her out for excursions when I wanted to, when I was free. I did not need to ignore my duties and cast aside all responsibilities just because I could not handle being away from her for one second. We took things slow and at our own pace that people often thought we were not together. But it was good for us; we both gave fifty, fifty. Now we've been wedded for nearly fifteen years with not a single lingering issue."

You've never thought of it at that angle, only burning with wrath from your own overbearing emotions. Wilhelmina sounds just like you; you're relating on a personal level without ever meeting her. The fire of your devotion to Kohaku was so bright that it must have been blinding. It must have been all-consuming, burning away everything that made him who he was.

Now you understand. You were a flame, small at first, but with all that Kohaku poured into the relationship, into you, you grew into a blaze. You took his kindling without even knowing, consuming his fuel until he could no longer manage his own fire. While your flare evolved into an intense and raging inferno, Kohaku's had extinguished, smothered, with nothing but ashes remaining.

He did everything and gave you everything to such an extent that the inferno inside of you still burns to this day.

"I still think of her every once in a while." Reno's voice cuts through your thoughts as your eyes rise from the table. His head faced the window, staring back out at the snowy night sky. "We have remained in contact after all these years, providing updates here and there when we can. Of course, I do lament the way I shattered her heart at the time, but we both agreed that it was the best decision I could have made. Where we are in life currently is everything we could have wanted. It's a shame that such intense flames have become extinguished, but what we love now is a part of our lives, not our entire lives."

You can only stare at him, tears glossing over and a sting forming in the corner of your eyes. Perhaps this is precisely what you've needed to hear. After the breakup, you cried only once, letting everything out, then buried deep down in a cavern where everything was cold and frozen. You did not heal or express your pain to anyone. So, it formulated into resentment as the years went by, and you could no longer see it rationally, only emotionally.

For once, you see things clearly and understand what you must do.

"I guess I didn't need the streets to learn this lesson." You joke softly, attempting to lighten the mood so you do not wail audibly in front of your co-workers and bosses.

Reno reaches forward, his warm hands settling over your hands to stop tremors you didn't even know that you were experiencing. "You are a good woman, (Y/n). Whatever had transpired in the past is not anyone's fault. Things just worked out the way they did, and you should not blame yourself or your past partner. There doesn't need to be any more blame, just healing." His grip tightened the slightest when you breathed out a trembling exhale. "That man, Rafe(?) I can tell that you hold back with him. Do not try to pacify your flames, (Y/n). Either you share the burdens together or end it responsibly, but it is only advice. Do whatever you need to do."

Sharing a moment of silence, you both sat there while staring out the wall of windows. The flurries continued to collect on the ground, though it had yet to stop the traffic. Life went on, and life progressed.

"Now!" Reno had patted your hands before reaching over to his pants and removing his car keys. "Are you in need of a ride, or will you leave along with your date?"

You didn't answer at first, letting your gaze fall into the distance in the room where Rafe was located. He was enjoying himself, laughing and drinking. He was letting loose, finally releasing all the built-up stress you were causing to accumulate with your lies and hidden secrets.

"Could I trouble you, good sir, for a ride?" You tease with the first smile you've had all night.

Reno shared that grin and stood off his seat to offer his elbow while gesturing towards it. "No trouble at all, demoiselle." He remarks in the same joking manner.

Drunkenly, you wrap your arm around his elbow and allow him to guide you toward the elevator that leads down to the parking lot. Surprisingly, you were aware enough to text Rafe that you were leaving because you didn't feel good. He'd probably not take that too well and be angry with you in the morning, but it's better than nothing.

꧁𓊈𒆜 ━━━━━━━━━ 𒆜𓊉꧂

Your heels hang from your fingers as you shuffle down the hall. Your skin is hot, still burning from the alcohol, so the cool tiled floor alleviates some of that heat. Finally, you reach your door and have to rest your forehead against the wooden partition to steady your coordination.

When you input your code and fingerprint, the door buzzes slightly, and you attempt to enter as quietly as possible.

The TV is playing, but the volume is low. Not a single light is on but the nightlights and the illumination from Kohaku's phone screen.

At the sound of the door, he sat up from his position on the living room couch bed, and you could hear the sound of his footsteps against the laminated floor.

"You were out late." He teases. "Thought I was going to have to track you down and give your date a stern talking to."

You're still facing the door, you're still holding your shoes, you're still drunker than you've ever been. But it was enough for you to turn around to face him after gathering what little bearings you could muster.

He stands only a few feet away, shirtless, only in a pair of low-hanging Christmas pants that leave practically nothing to the imagination. The shape of his body was so manly, close to inhuman, with his muscles so profoundly shaped.

You are starting to understand what Reno meant by boundaries.

"I'm still in love with you."

Kohaku's heterochromia eyes widen, the whites largely visible as he stands stagnant in his spot. His expression from earlier had fallen, leaving his lips pursed tightly. Even his built chest and broad pectorals hadn't moved, as though you gripped his lungs and tore them out.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You slur with a heavy tongue and a slight tilt of your head. "I thought it was obvious."

He doesn't respond at first, either trying to collect his bearings or figure out the right words to say. "I-, you must have really drank a lot. You always said such nonsense when you had too much to drink." The Oni attempts to jest and laugh, but you do not share that giggle.

"There you go again, taking me for a joke again." Your murmur at that point was more to yourself as you dropped your shoes and stumbled your way to your bedroom.

Kohaku followed after a moment of hesitation, lingering in the doorway while you heaved yourself on your bed at the edge. No one says anything, just listening to the faint rumble of the TV.

"Tonight, I spoke to my co-worker..." You begin faintly. "He married his high school sweetheart, but not his first love." Your attention lingers on the window at the side of your room, staring out at the snowy weather. "I did not tell him what I was going through, but he offered advice that was exactly what I needed to hear. Before...I saw what happened to us as you just abandoning me, completely ditching me because you didn't love me anymore. It was more complex than that, wasn't it?"

Tears gloss over once again, but this time, you let them fall and smudge whatever makeup remained. "You still loved me; it just became too much. It must have been so exhausting to give your all every waking moment." Everything tastes bitter on your tongue. "I don't fully understand because I still have so much to give...I still had so much to offer. But you...I must have taken everything and still begged for more. I should have understood, but I was young, and immature, and passionately in love with the idea of love."

The guilt is so evident on his face it's sickening. If this were you just a few hours earlier, you'd probably snap and insult him, unable to bear with his pity.

"Why are you feeling bad? You made your decision, and you did what you did. It was for the best because if you stayed, we both would have gone up in flames."

Kohaku inhaled deeply while reaching a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "I just..." His gaze was anywhere else but your face. "I still loved you. I still couldn't forget you. You were...you were everything. What we had was unforgettable; most things can't even reciprocate the feelings I had with you." Everything mirrored Wilhelmina and Reno so closely that the irony spurred you to laugh.

Kohaku falls silent as you hold your belly with your arms crossed, hunching over and laughing with your eyes shut. It wasn't funny in a humorous way anymore. It wasn't even funny in a pathetic way, either.

Loving to live, obsessing over the idea of devotion, you were addicted to the unhealthy toxicity of it.

Finally, after a moment, you calmed down, only for your face to be soaked in tears and smudged across your skin. "I wish you had told me everything you felt instead of leaving me to my own thoughts and suspicions. My heart was bleeding and it never stopped."

"I'm...I'm sorry. I know you don't want-"

"It's fine." You interject and clear your throat. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to dump all this on you and make you feel bad. It wasn't to make you try and fix things by being with me out of pity. I've realized that I was stuck in our history, in love with the you from the past. The man you are today isn't the same person... I don't even know who you are anymore."

The Oni in front of you had parted his lips, but the words wouldn't leave his tongue. Fangs poked out, glinting in the moonlight before he finally closed his mouth and swallowed strenuously.

Gingerly, he stepped forward and stopped right in front of your body. His large hands reached down, taking your gloved ones in his and squeezing. For a second, you let yourself immerse in the warmth of his inhumanity before pulling away and pushing his arms back towards himself.

"I had told you to maintain your distance because I could not handle being around you. Now I realize what we need to have: boundaries." Softly patting his hands, you urge him to let them drop by his side. "You cannot treat me like the (Y/n) from before. You cannot compliment me or praise me, or suck up to get what you want. You can't just walk around my place half-naked. In fact, you can't be here anymore while I work on myself. We are not friends; we can't be friends, at least right now... Can you do that?"

With a solemn nod, the Oni stepped back and shifted to leave the room, yet stopped midway through. His shoulders turned as he looked back to face you and spoke in a hushed voice that you almost missed.

"Will you at least let me do one more thing?"

You didn't expect him to ask such a question, so you sat silenced and stunned, your drunk brain buzzing with the remnants of a hangover peeking through. "S-Sure."

With your approval, Kohaku steps back to stand in front. He's in your bubble, invading it as his hands rise and softly hold the sides of your head. Then he dips down, letting his lips press against your forehead with a fleeting kiss that still lingered when he pulled away.

"Being with you was an unimaginable experience that I could never forget. You are amazing, just an incredible person. There is no one like you in this world, small town or big city." His voice is soft, precious as he speaks by your ear. "Take all the time you need, (Y/n). I can wait for the day until we can be friends again. Even if I have to wait a hundred years."

You cannot stop the burning hot tears from expelling past your lids and trading down your neck. The insides of your chest aches; it stings and tightens in your heart as though Kohaku reached forward and tore his way through.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And I, oop, I wrote this in three days. It took longer than I expected because I didn't know where I was going with the idea. This also turned out longer and broken into 2 chapters bc as you know, I love writing realism. I want to showcase real emotions and it just wouldn't make sense for Kohaku to get with the reader at the end of this chapter when the whole time he didn't even share those feelings.

Of course, my heart is hurting bc DAYYUMM, I could never. Reader is better than me. I'd really be way too petty and once I feel wronged, you'll never be in my good gracious ever again.

Anyway, I wanted to try something new and write a love interest that isn't hopeless in love with the reader (*cough* Zagan *cough*). It just hurts so good, the angst rn. The next part is supposed to have a lot of character development and growth + as you know me, we get a little more gang affiliation bc I love bad boys.

Also Simat is a W and she will go off in the next chapter bc whoever hurts 'mommy' reader will get their throat torn out.

Might kill the reader, idk yet, still jotting it down.

Ps.

I just want to apologize also for being gone for so long without a single chapter update in like 6 months. I had completely lost all motivation after my wattpad, which I spent NINE years curating, was deleted in one night over nothing. It literally felt like all my hard work and recognition was just stolen and left me with nothing.

Of course, I have my quotev and Tumblr, which I am thankful for. Wattpad just had the most engagement and following, and it was easier to communicate with me. I just want so many people to read what I can do and enjoy the creativity of my storytelling.

↳If you'd like to support me or read 30+ drafts of TDMLM or my other stories, please consider buying me Kofi. You can find the link on my profile or here! Thank you :)

ᴍᴀᴍᴀ ꜱɪɢɴɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ

302 notes · View notes

twobluejeans · 2 years ago

Text

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 4: emo ponytail girl, part 3: dupeee, part 2: wtf does ET know?, part 1: don’t start

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 4! the drama goes on. a lot of tswift references 🫶

INSTAGRAM, july 3

liked by oliviarodrigo, masonmount, and 8,654,142 others

yourinstagram thank u manchester & london for an amazing 5 days. you guys were so much fun to play for. i also wanna say thank you to my two beautiful children @oliviarodrigo @gracieabrams, eternally grateful for u guys flying in last minute to leave manchester w a bang. love u all so so much. see u soon amsterdam🖤

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oliviarodrigo 🥹🥹🥹🥹

gracieabrams i love you thank you 🤍

augustbridgelvr my founding fathers

TWITTER, july 3

INSTAGRAM, (stories)

yourinstagram 1h (july 4)

viewed by kimkardashian, maudeapatow, and 678,892 others

INSTAGRAM, july 4

liked by selenagomez, neymarjr, and 8,345,146 others

yourinstagram happy independence day from me n a few of my favorite people 🤍

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arianagrande love uuu!!!

yourinstagram arianagrande i love u more

canyonmoondeservesjustice why can i not picture all of them in the same room like 🧍🏽‍♀️

danielriccardo damn who’s that guy on the 3rd pic in white?? he’s so ��😍

landonoriss danielriccardo me when i lie

yourinstagram danielriccardo ur gonna let him do u like that??

danielriccardo landonorris yourinstagram girl bye you’re just jealous you aren’t as pretty as me 🤷

danielriccardo notice how it got quiet. EXACTLY.🙄

TWITTER, july 10

liked by 55sainzleclerc16, lolaransdellfan, and 103,728 others

charlesleclercdaily Charles and Lola Ransdell at Wimbledon today!

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kingofmyh3art_ bye i’m crying he really out here winning the idgaf war 😭😭

55sainzleclerx Bro i can't get over the fact that she's the spitting image of Y/n

landoxcharles16 no bc why is every f1 driver entering their hoe era

szafanaccount12 landoxcharles16 no literally like charles gives me the ick now

INSTAGRAM, july 10

liked by leclercmidnight, sainzrace, and 234,122 others

cl16daily Charles with a fan tonight in london

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youtolerateity/n dad pls wake up and come home

driverczains he looks so nice too UGHH

i2lvsrry She said to him that her favorite album was lover lol 💀😭

purrfecy/n/n i2lvsrry SHE DID NOT 💀

enchntdtwilight i2lvsrry SHE ALSO SAID THAT HE JUST SMILED AND LAUGHED AFTER SHE TOLD HIM

lewis44girls enchntdtwilight how do you know that??

enchntdtwilight lewis44girls I saw the original video on tik tok and she said that in a comment.

replovers hi 👋 im the girl in the picture! i was scared to approach him bc he was eating dinner with his new gf and i didn’t want to disturb him or anything so i waited until he was done. charles was very nice and talkative. i did mention that my favorite album was lover bc..it is. he just smiled and awkwardly chuckled. he then changed the subject and i got the hint. his new girlfriend, lola, actually took the photo too. she looks mean but she’s actually really nice, i can’t lie. she complimented my shoes. she was standing besides charles the whole time and had her hands locked with his, she looked kind of uncomfortable to be around cameras and get that kind of attention which is understandable yk.

mrrwoballstyles bruh they’re literally betty, august, and james 😭 NOT THE FOLKLORE LOVE TRIANGLE BECOMING REAL

IMESSAGES, july 10

TWITTER, july 11

INSTAGRAM, july 11

liked by charlesleclerc, wolfiecindy, and 546,992 others

lolaransdell two tickets for barbie please

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ricciardofavboy i could SMELL the comments

herbffsinsta gorgeous gorgeous girly

lolaransdell herbffsinsta love uuu

grussellgirl where’s charles?

goldenstyles wow the power of plastic surgery and good lighting

haileybieber She knows she's the hottest 😍😍

itsainzleclerc remember u were a fan girl bye

y/nzone The only way this girl got famous was because of Charles. Other than that, nobody would have known who she was except her friends and now she pops up on Google and YouTube.

INSTAGRAM, july 12

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ally's radio 📻 : so, um, secrets out? anyways, screw charles! #JUSTICEFORY/N2023 (this took me 3 hrs to make bruh, free me)

taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass @dakotali @405rry @topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant @hevburn @itsmytimetoodream @ivegotparticulartaste @crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010 @scenesofobx @christinabae @magical-spit @dessxoxsworld @myareadsbooks @honethatty12 @hopefulinlove @diasnohibng @gentlemonsterjennie1 @hummusxx @eugene-emt-roe @taestrwbrry @pejarma @cxcewg @chimchimjiminie16 @glow-ish @allywthsr

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heyimkana · 4 months ago

Text

Desiderium - Chapter 3

Series Masterlist | AO3 Link

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu X Female Reader X Satoru Gojo

Genre: Reincarnation AU, Marriage AU, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn

Summary: Set in Tokyo, Japan, you and Yuuta were past lovers separated by the cruel hands of fate. That same fate brought you to him again a century later, but while you hold no memories of him or the beautiful life you had shared with him in the past, Yuuta remembers everything. He's waited forever to see you again, yearning for your love, not knowing that you already belong to someone else.

Word Count: 13K+

Content Warnings: None for this chapter.

Art drawn by @alwhmd_ on Twitter (commission)

They discover a little game. It’s all Yuuta’s idea.

“To expand our knowledge and interest,” he says before bashfully adding, “A-and so we can know each other better.”

One of those reasons convinces her to play along. It’s never about the books.

The rule is simple: he’ll choose short literature for her to read for the day—whether it’s in the form of poetry or novel, matters not, as well as its genre—and she’ll do the same for him. They’ll share their thoughts afterward, and whoever can make the other feel entertained with their recommendation will win the game. Yuuta chooses not to place any bets despite her constant suggestions to make the game more interesting, but he says he’ll allow her to ask him to do something—anything—she wants if she manages to impress him with her choice.

I can work with that, she thinks, and so they play. They do it once a week if the novels are too thick to be finished within a day or two. But if it’s a short story, they’ll repeat the game as soon as the last one ends.

She always wins, but only because he lets her. She knows that. And she feels terrible asking someone as pure and gullible as Yuuta to do something crazy, knowing that he will indeed do anything she asks of him and possibly dying in the process, figuratively speaking. Maybe even literally, seeing how his body nearly combusted into flames when she simply asked him to stop calling her by her surname.

“It’s been weeks since we first met, Yuuta. Isn’t it about time?” She had argued then. “Aren’t we close enough to be on a first-name basis now? It doesn’t feel fair that I’m the only one calling you this way.” She left him no room to escape.

He needed a few seconds to gather the courage, but he agreed. Her name flowed past his mouth, and it sounded exactly the same as the way he called her in the dream, so naturally as if he had been calling her that way for years, like a soulmate to another. She asked him to continue referring to her with her first name, saying they sounded more like friends that way. She did not mention a word about how warm and giddy he made her feel inside with every call of her name. He didn’t need to know; it was already dangerous as it was.

She’s stopped trying to win the game since then, deciding it would be funnier—and easier on her heart—if she played tricks on him instead.

So, today, she plays Yuuta’s innocent game with her wicked mind in charge, selecting a story that is too long to finish in three hours and too absurd for his mind to comprehend. “This book got me through some tough times,” she says, a complete lie. She hasn’t even read it, not once. She’d simply looked it up online a few minutes before, secretly grinning like a devil as she skimmed through endless terrible reviews from readers who were disgusted by the chaotic plot and even messier ending. The more bad reviews it got, the better, so she decided it was perfect for her to recommend. “Sharing this with you is like sharing my deepest secret, Yuuta, so please. Read it. It’s very important to me that you like it.”

Poor Yuuta nods with all his heart. He’s excited, super excited, probably thinking he’s on his way to a new adventure to understand her better, only to be frowning and glancing at her with concerned eyes for the rest of his reading session. By the time he’s finished with it, she asks him for his opinion.

He looks genuinely concerned for her. She’s having the time of her life.

Yuuta, on the other hand, is always so meticulous in choosing what to recommend. Whenever he finds something interesting, he does a quick research beforehand to make sure it’s universally loved instead of a simply biased opinion. He’ll be so nervous about it, too, adorably so. “I’ve read this before and, umm… The ending is pretty satisfying to me, and it got me wondering what could have been if—no, I shouldn’t spoil it, just, umm, just give it a try? Please? I think you’ll enjoy it.”

She takes the book away from his hand, scrutinizing the cover.

He winces, “The cover doesn’t say much. Please don’t judge it from—”

“Yuuta, will you relax?” She laughs. “I’ve read books before; I know the rules. I wasn’t judging it from the cover. I was just reading the author’s name.”

“Oh… Okay…”

“Yukio Mishima… Hmm… Why does his name sound familiar to me?” Her eyes skate through the first page, moving from one passage to another. “His writing style, too. Have you recommended his other works to me before? I swear I’ve read it somewhere. I can’t remember it.”

Yuuta’s jaw clenches before he forces out a smile. “Have I? I don’t remember. He is my favorite author, though, so… Yeah, maybe.”

She looks at him. There’s something he’s not telling me. Since he doesn’t seem to want to elaborate, she has no choice but to end it with a shrug. “Okay. I’ll read it.” She heads towards an empty couch, snickering. “If this ends terribly, you’ll have to buy me dinner.”

Yuuta chuckles, adding a hushed, “I would’ve done that every day had you let me.” She misses it. Clearing his throat, he replies a bit louder, “If it exceeds your expectations, will you go somewhere with me after this?” She stops in her tracks, turning her head around to face him. He understands the silent question—and the slight worry—shimmering on her face. “It’s not a date, I promise,” he says, although regrettably. “I just…” He tucks his hair behind his ear, another part of his mannerisms that she finds incredibly endearing despite how simple it is.“There’s this place I’ve been wanting to take you to.”

He seems anxious, waiting for her response, blatantly so that she feels sorry for taking a few seconds to think. “Sure,” she replies with a small smile. After all, it’s his first time putting effort into the game instead of letting her win all the time. “But you have to know that I have huge expectations on this. It’s your favorite author, after all. I gotta judge thoroughly.”

“Yeah.” Relief washes over him. “Yeah, okay.”

Two and a half hours have passed since then, and Yuuta waits with bated breath as she closes the book’s final page. She places it on the round wooden table between them, pushing it toward him. She remains mute.

Searching her face and desperately trying to understand what goes through her mind, he asks, “H-how was it?”

To his surprise, she stands up without a word, gathering all her things at once and sliding her arms through the sleeves of her coat. “So.” She plunges her hands into her pockets, huffing out an air. “Where will you be taking me?”

He blinks.

Then he turns the happiest he’s ever been.

***

“I can’t believe you only asked me to go to a ramen shop with you,” she mutters as they stroll along the pavements, breathing in the evening breeze that tickles their cheeks. They don’t have places they plan on going, not really, not after they have their stomachs full, but neither of them is willing to bid farewell just yet. They enjoy being in each other’s company, silently wishing for the hours to dance slowly between them. “Making it as a bet…” She snorts. “You know you could’ve just asked me to go, right?”

Yuuta titters, “Where did you expect me to take you?”

“I don’t know, a charity gala for the homeless, maybe? You made it sound like a big deal.”

“I’ll take you to the gala next time,” he jests. “Did it, at least, suit your taste? The ramen?”

They have come across an intersection, fitting themselves between the other pedestrians while waiting for the crossing light above them to turn green. “Hmm, could improve a little bit on the broth, I think,” she says. “That tonkatsu topping was a killer, though. I’m drooling just thinking about it again. I’ll give it nine out of ten just because of that.”

He smiles, primarily to himself. And as she peers at him from the side, she mirrors it, too. "You have that look on your face again."

"Pardon?"

“Every time you managed to make me smile, either by recommending a good book or getting food or drinks that suited my taste, you always looked so happy. It’s as if my joy is your joy. And I think the world would be so much better if everyone acted like that. Just, you know, making each other happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as kind and gentle as you are. Thought it was all an act at first, but," she chuckles. “You really are the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I’m glad we could be friends.”

Her lines startle him enough to turn his body into ice. Did I say something wrong? She questions herself. “Yuuta? You okay? I wasn’t being too much, was I?”

“N-no.” He loosens his collar, fire licking his cheeks. “I, umm... I don’t think I’m that kind of person at all. It’s just... When it comes to you, I…” His sentence dies before it meets its end; too distracted to finish it. His eyes stray away from her face as his ears pick up on words murmured by a couple of strangers nearby.

With her brows drawn together in curiosity, she follows his gaze, turning her head slightly so as not to appear so obvious. She spots two men in matching red varsity jackets sneering behind her, also waiting for their chance to cross the road, it seems. The college boys are standing a safe distance apart from her but close enough for them to catch a word or two of their conversations had they listened closely. Even if they can’t hear them, the way they’re smirking while stealing glances at her body clearly indicates what they’re conversing about.

She grows uncomfortable, turning self-conscious of her appearance. There’s nothing unusual about what she’s wearing, just a simple pair of jeans and a sweater underneath a coat, and yet, the two men make her feel as if she stood there in the nude. Her hand moves to adjust her jacket to cover her body better, feeling embarrassed despite it not being her fault. She feels powerless, failing to protect herself from being seen as an object. And to have this happening in front of Yuuta somehow makes it ten times worse because—

She doesn’t get the chance to finish her thought, her eyes widening in surprise when she feels Yuuta’s hand sliding around her waist. He pulls her close without warning, erasing any distance between them and nearly causing her to land face-first on his chest. She looks up at him, face flushed. “Y-Yuuta, what—”

She stops, staring at Yuuta with parted lips.

This is not the man she knows.

Anger pulses through his veins, and robs the gentle light out of his eyes—a glare so cold that it changes his whole demeanor. Had she known that Yuuta could display such an expression on his face, she wouldn’t have described him as kind and gentle a moment ago. The look he has in his eyes right now… It makes her blood curdle.

Staying still in his arms, she notices the way Yuuta maintains his eyes on them, like a protective wolf watching over his pack. She never thought a menacing stare like this would be such a good look at him, but it is. It charms her, her mind drifting off on its own, wondering if he would be this possessive over her if she were his. The thought doesn’t scare her as much as it excites her.

It doesn’t take long before she hears the boys clamp their mouths shut behind her, followed by rustling sounds of footsteps that grow fainter with every second passing by. She can feel his muscles unwinding, but the darkness in his eyes remains as deep as an endless void.

“Umm… Yuuta?”

At that, he snaps awake. “Oh, s-sorry!” He quickly backs away, letting her stand on her own feet. He’s back to the awkward, diffident person she knows, his face turning crimson without any chance to blame it on the cold wind. He bows his head in apology, unable to meet her eyes. “I’m so sorry for suddenly grabbing you like that, I—” He takes a breath. “I won’t touch you without your permission again. I promise.”

The way he acts… It makes her wonder whether he feels like he’s just as terrible as the two men before for doing something without her consent. “Thank you,” she says, tugging onto his sleeve to make him lift his head. “I got the feeling they were staring at me. I wouldn’t have done anything about it ’cause, well,” she tries to make light of the situation by forcing out a chuckle, “It happens all the time if you’re a woman. I just feel… a bit ashamed that you saw that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he says, staggering her a little with his solemnity. “No matter what you wear, what you don’t wear, what you say, or how you behave, it’s never a woman’s fault to have men act that way around them. It’s our fault. So, never feel ashamed about it. They should, but not you.”

He truly is kind, she concludes in her mind. “For someone with a heart of an angel, you can be really scary sometimes. Those guys were huge, and there were two of them. I didn’t think you had it in you to glare at someone like that.”

“I—I didn’t realize I looked like that. I just wanted them to stop staring at you.” His face distorts in worry. “Did I… scare you?”

He probably would have, had she not seen this version of him in the dream already. But compared to how infuriated he looked when he faced Naoya Zenin, this one was nothing. “No, just surprised. In a good way,” she adds with a little smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone do something like that for me before. Satoru usually just told me to ignore them. So, thank you, really. I felt like I was in a shoujo manga therefor a second,” she chuckles before she notices the blinking lights above her. “Oh, the light’s green. Let’s go.”

She crosses the road with him trailing closely behind her, not realizing the changes in his expression. The mention of her lover’s name usually paints a sad color on his face, but tonight, it glows dark red.

***

They enter a coffee shop Yuuta recommended, a sudden change of agenda since the usual place they visited is closed for the day. She disrobes herself from her coat, plopping herself on her seat with a huff. “That was a long walk. I’m gonna feel it in my legs tomorrow.”

Following behind her with a tray in his hands (he insisted on carrying their orders despite her wish to help), he checks on her with concern. “Are you okay? See, that’s why I suggested we take the bus. The restaurant was too far away from here.”

“Well, sorry for wanting to take my time with you,” she pouts. “Was I the only one who enjoyed our long chat on our way here?”

“No, of course not!” He pales. “I enjoyed every second of it! I was just—”

“Relaaax, I was just kidding,” she simpers. “If my legs are still sore tomorrow, you’re paying for my massage.” She takes a sugar cube, watching it dissolve inside the cup as she stirs it with her teaspoon. Before she can take a sip, Yuuta drags the sugar bowl in her direction. “What?”

“You need more sugar than that. Try two more?”

“You think I can’t handle my tea?”

“It’s not that.” A peal of laughter escapes him, a bit tenser than usual. She wonders what he’s trying to hide. “I’ve had that before, and it’s a bit too bitter compared to what you usually have.”

“And how would you know how I like my tea?”

He freezes. “I don’t. I’m—I’m just guessing.”

“Uh-huh,” she narrows her eyes still. “Well, as much as I appreciate your concern, my good sir, I can handle my tea just fine.” She takes a sip, about to wince when the bitter taste hits her tongue, but she acts unfazed. “See?” She smacks her lips. “I’m fine.”

Yuuta watches her with adoration in his eyes as if trying to prove him wrong was an adorable habit of hers that he’s always loved to see. “You sure?”

It’s too tempting, and she’s only human. “Okay, fine, maybe one more.” She plops in another cube, stirs it, takes another sip, and it’s still too bitter.

Biting his lip to suppress his grin, he nudges the bowl again. “It’s still here if you want it.”

She can’t hold it anymore. Her mouth still feels like she just munched a handful of saffrons. “But two would be too sweet,” she says, yet she drops another cube into her cup. The second her tea hits her tongue, she blinks. It’s the perfect balance. “Huh…”

This time, he doesn’t tone down his grin. “Told you two would suit your taste.”

“Okay, you’re way too good at just guessing things,” she makes an air quote with her fingers. “How do you know so much about me? Are you my stalker?”

That wipes off his grin almost instantly. “N-no, of course not! Why would I—no!”

“I don’t know, Yuuta, that sounds exactly like what a stalker would say.” As he panics, she beams at him with a cheeky grin, and at that, his rigid muscles turn loose.

“You’re just teasing me,” he sighs in relief.

“A little,” she giggles. “But seriously. What is it? Am I that easy to read? Have I met you before?” She throws her options mindlessly, but her last question strikes him hard enough to have him perched still in his seat.

He tarries, cogitating on his response. “Do you… feel like you’ve met me before?”

She frowns, clueless as to what he’s indicating. Her heart wants to say yes, shout it out loud even, but a dream is just a dream, and it would be ridiculous to mix it up with her reality, wouldn’t it? No matter how real it felt.

“I think I would remember you if I’d met you before, Yuuta.” She chuckles lightly when adding, “You’re not easy to forget.”

She means it as a compliment, but Yuuta reciprocates with loneliness fleeting through his eyes. He separates his lips, eager to say all the feelings he’s bottled inside, but he clamps them shut before he can, dragging his gaze to his lap. “You’re right.” And yet, you did, his body seems to say. You’ve forgotten all about me.

Perhaps she’s just imagining things, or maybe she’s beginning to be as good as he is in reading his expressions, but her heart aches for him. Before she knows it, she reaches out, covering the back of his hand with her palm. “Yuuta,” she sounds soft, softer than ever, afraid to break the paper-thin glass he’s built around him. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

His eyes shake, his face contorting in sorrow, the kind that comes straight from the heart. The silence between them, despite briefly, suffocates enough to the point where it feels like both of them are holding their breaths. The answer is clear: yes, there is. A secret I’ve been dying to tell. She knows that. She just has to wait until he’s ready to come clean with it. But today is not the time.

“No.” Yuuta retracts his hand, running away from her touch. “Just like you said, we’ve never met before.”

Then, why do you act like we have?

“But I promise you, I’m not a stalker.” He keeps his smile intact as always, but it feels foreign. Unrecognizable. Empty. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but you often share details about yourself when you talk. I just happen to pay attention, that’s all.”

Her jaw tightens. “I see.” It’s no use trying to force an answer out of him. What if I end up hurting him even more? Or scare him away? She leans back on her seat, sighing. “Well, you must have an excellent memory, then.”

His gaze falls to the silver ring around his finger, the same one he wore around his neck on the day they met for the first time at the library. “Yeah.” He clenches his hand, bringing it down to his lap. “You can say so.” ***

The clock’s ticking in silence, an eerie companion to the faint note of her breathing.

Her apartment appears much more spacious than she remembers now that Satoru isn’t here. The absence of his voice and the constant clicking sounds of his keyboard feel almost unsettling, but it never perturbs her as much as the fact that her heart doesn’t clench in loneliness or emptiness, even when she stands here alone with nothing but the dull, white walls staring back at her.

It should’ve, right? And yet, it doesn’t.

Her beating heart only seeks attention, searches for affection when Satoru is here, sitting right next to her. And accepting that thought terrifies her more than being alone.

Her boyfriend hasn’t come home since last afternoon. He hasn’t given her any notice nor made any effort to ease her worry. It’s not something new. She’s grown used to it. Maybe Satoru assumed they had remembered and understood each other’s schedules by now, which is true, but still, a message would’ve been nice.

The last text she received from him was around nine PM when she questioned his whereabouts, growing more worried about the dinner getting cold instead of his nose turning red from the evening breeze.

Still out with some friends. Don’t wait for me. - Satoru

She didn’t. The same way he didn’t thank her—or apologize—for the supper she’d taken an hour to prepare.

I thought you said you’d come straight home after your meeting tonight, she typed down her reply before choosing to erase it. There was no merit to gain from arguing about it. Satoru would never change.

Okay, she responded instead. Be safe.

He left her on read.

Re-reading his dry text message causes her thoughts to drift back to Yuuta, realizing just how different they are even when her mind begs her not to compare. It saddens her that her lover pays no heed to her well-being or her feelings, not taking a minute of his time to check whether she came home safely last night.

While her friend, on the other hand…

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Yuuta asked for the nth time that night, still reluctant to bid her goodbye even after he escorted her all the way to the station’s gate.

“Yuuta, I’ll be all right,” she chuckled. “I’ve taken this subway more than a hundred times already.”

“I know, but after seeing how those guys stared at you…” He exhaled restlessly. “How far is your place from the station?”

“Just a five-minute walk.”

He contemplated, mulling over the risks before he eventually let his muscles unwind. “Okay… But if you feel like there’s someone following you—”

“I’ll tell them, ’Excuse me, Sir, I already have a stalker of my own, and he’ll kill you before you could even lay your hands on me,’” she ended with a gleeful grin.

He pouted. “I’m actually worried, you know.”

“I know.” She replaced her amusement with gratitude this time. “Thank you, Yuuta. Really.”

“Will you, at least, text me when you get home? I need to know you’re safe.”

“I will.”

And she did, punching buttons on her phone screen with a giddy heart, her lips stretching from ear to ear, as soon as she arrived at her apartment.

No stalker in sight, Okkotsu-san. Only you. PS: Yes, Mom, I’m already home.

To which he responded with, “Thank goodness you’re safe.” No silly remark came from his side, no cute scoldings for her chaff. He was just genuinely concerned and now, relieved.

It felt… nice to be at the center of someone’s care and attention. She had forgotten that feeling a while ago.

Her phone screen suddenly flashes as she dwells in the memory, notifying her that it’s ten minutes to nine. Yuuta’s name flickers back through her mind. They had promised each other a few days before that they would attend a book festival this morning. The thought of meeting one of her favorite authors and getting her book signed certainly arouses her excitement, but it doesn’t ignite as much sparks as the thought of spending not only a couple of evening hours together but the entire day.

Spending the whole day with Yuuta…

A smile resurfaces on her lips, but she refuses to acknowledge it.

There’s only an hour to spare before then. I should get going.

Just as she collects her coat, the front door clicks open. Satoru steps inside with his black shirt unbuttoned nearly halfway to his chest, his tie unfastened, dangling loosely around his neck. As he fumbles around, trying to maintain his balance, he notices her standing near the kitchen counter. “Oh, hey, baby,” he greets her with a drunken smile, his eyes half-lidded. “I’m home.”

“Welcome… back…” She scrutinizes him with a frown. “Satoru, what—are you drunk?”

He giggles, a clear answer to her question. “Just a little.”

Satoru has always been weak when it comes to alcohol. There were many occasions back in their college days when he ended up doing foolish stunts with liquor in his system, and yet, he never learned. “I thought you promised me you’d never drink again.”

“That is true,” he simpers, teetering toward her spot. “That. Is. True.” He taps a finger against her nose with each word spoken. “But, listen. I was ready to go home after my meeting, but then I remembered, oh yeah, Haibara’s got a new place. And it was close by from where I was, so I thought, you know what, let’s drop by for a while, and so I did. I figured it was only going to be about half an hour or so, but man, he was so happy to see me. You know how he is, right? He’s always happy. Haibara was all like, Dude, we should invite everyone to come and hang with us, and the next thing I knew, a bunch of people came. Shoko was there. Ijichi was there, but fuck Ijichi, nobody cares about him. Anyway, Suguru brought this sake he got from Tohoku, or whatever, and God, baby, it tasted sooooo goooood,” he slurs out the words, leaning his body weight on her as he buries his face in her neck. “I was only planning to stay for a bit, but… couldn’t resist a good sake.”

“Satoru,” she tries to pry him away, her face scrunching as the revolting scent of alcohol fills her nose.

“Honey Bunny, please don’t be mad. I only had, like, three glasses, I promise. Or five. Or maybe ten. Shit, I can’t remember,” he chuckles, the sound muffled by her sweater. “This is probably why I shouldn’t drink, huh?”

She’s fighting to stay on her feet, struggling as his weight weighs her down. “Did you get home by yourself? Why didn’t you call me to pick you up?”

“I would’ve, but my phone died,” he nuzzles his nose against her clothed shoulder, acting spoiled to win her mercy. “And no, I didn’t. I got some girl driving me home.”

The news stings her like needles piercing through her skin. She pushes him away by the chest, glaring. “What?”

“Hmm?” He blinks idly. “Oh, no, don’t worry. We didn’t do anything, trust me. I don’t even remember her name. She was the only one with a car, told me she’d drop me at our building, so I hopped in. I didn’t think much about it.” He places a finger below her chin, tilting it up to have her meet his gaze. “What?” Satoru questions, one corner of his mouth rising higher than the other. “You jealous?”

Is it… really jealousy, she wonders. Or is it just a plain, vibrating anger that emerges from not being respected, appreciated, or seen and remembered by the person who’s supposed to care for her the most?

“Babe, come on,” Satoru laughs. “I’m a faithful man. You know I am. I’ll never cheat on you.” Dismissing the resentment shimmering in her eyes, he strokes her hair, bending his head down until his smile ghosts over her lips. “And you’ll never cheat on me, too, right, Bunny?”

She freezes. In the split second before he closes the gap between them, her mind tries to understand why his question causes a guilty conscience to swell in her chest. She has neither done nor is planning to do anything like that. Yuuta is just a friend. She should not feel guilty about meeting a friend. No, if there’s anyone who should feel that way around here, it should be Satoru. Just look at him. He easily took a stranger’s invitation to climb into her car and had the nerve to giggle as he told me about it.

But she can’t deny it—this guilt that’s swirling inside. Her heart still echoes it every time Yuuta’s name passes through her head.

You wouldn’t feel this happy if you were just meeting a friend.

“You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” Satoru traps her chin between his lean fingers. “Wish you could show this side of you more often.”

She throws her face to the side, avoiding her lover’s kiss just in time. “Next time you’re this wasted, Toru,” she maintains her distance, stepping away with a scowl, “call me.”

“I told you, my phone died—”

“I don’t care. Use someone else’s phone. You can’t just get inside a stranger’s car like that. It could’ve been dangerous.”

Somewhere, deep within the labyrinth of her mind, a voice reminds her how similar, if not worse, her past actions were to what she chastised him of. Going to a coffee shop with a stranger… Spending hours talking, revealing parts of her that she shouldn’t have… Sharing food and laughter, wishing for time to move slower…

I’m a fucking hypocrite.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Satoru sneers, wrapping his arms around her waist. Getting such a reaction out of her seems to delight him as she usually just nods and forgives him for everything, assuming it would take more energy out of her to bicker over it. “Why didn’t you come to the party anyway? Everyone was there.”

It only exhausts her further to push him away when he weighs more than he can handle. She faces the other way, avoiding his breath as much as possible. “I didn’t get any invitation.”

“What? But I sent you one.” He furrows his brows, trying to remember. “Wait… I did, didn’t I? I swear I texted you.”

“You didn’t even tell me you had plans after the meeting. I prepared dinner for you.”

“Oh, well.” He leans backward a little to give her a playful pinch on her cheek. “Guess we’re a bit lacking in that department, huh? Communicating, I mean. It’s been a while since we last talked. How are you, baby? What is my little kitten up to these days?”

To have her boyfriend finally paying attention to her after so long should delight her, but she feels nothing, knowing that he won’t take any information into his head in this condition. It will be a waste of time for them both.

And I have no time to waste, not right now.

“You need to catch some sleep.” She places a hand on his chest, sighing. “We’ll talk after you sober up.”

“I’m not that drunk—”

“Rest, Satoru,” she stresses firmly, trying to keep the sound of her impatience to a minimum. Stepping away, she turns around to collect her things from the counter. “I’ve made you some French toast and eggs for breakfast. They’re on the table. There’s plenty of food for lunch in the fridge, too. You can just heat them up later.” Slinging her purse on one shoulder, she gathers her key. “I’m heading out. I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, where are you going?” He catches her hand, tugging her body back toward him. “It’s the weekend, isn’t it? What are you in such a rush for?”

His question brings her to a halt. She knows she’s in haste since she’s running out of time, but is she so eager to get away from him to meet another man, one that her boyfriend has specifically mentioned to stay away from?

“I’m—” She clears her throat, shredding the thoughts to pieces. “I’m not rushing.”

“Are you meeting someone?”

“No,” she lies, and it shocks her how fast and how easily it slips out of her mouth before her mind can decide. She shouldn’t have lied. There was no reason to lie. Why did I lie? She wants to correct it, but taking it back now will only make her sound… suspicious.

“W-what?” She asks out of agitation as she catches him staring down at her, examining her as best as his inebriated state allows him to. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Something’s different about you today,” he replies, crossing the distance between them. “Is it…” He investigates with unfocused eyes, too sleepy and intoxicated to process quickly. “Is it your hair? Did you cut it?”

“Umm… Yeah, I did.”

“Aha!” He exclaims, almost victoriously. “Don’t think I didn’t notice it. When?”

“Four days ago.” She’s grown used to this, too, to have the changes in her appearance—the changes in her world—remainunnoted in his eyes. The reason why he finally realizes the difference today is because she’s styled it differently.

Instead of letting her hair brushed and tied up in a simple bun, she decided to put more effort into it this morning. Taking inspiration from her appearance in her dreams, she wore half of her hair down and weaved the rest of her strands together, forming two lace braids that circled her head like a crown while the rest cascaded gracefully past her shoulders. Just like on the night when she shared a kiss with the beautiful boy by the beach, she completed the look with a kanzashi her mother gave her, a golden ornament in the shape of cherry blossom petals. She felt pleased seeing her reflection in the bathroom mirror, admitting to herself that this style suited her better than her usual one. A certain charm exuded out of her, a sense of femininity that she never bothered to showcase before.

“I’m trying on a new hairstyle,” she says. “What do you think? Does it suit me?”

“Hmm…” He squints his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. “Fuck, I can’t remember what your hair looked like before,” he gives up with a laugh. “It doesn’t look bad, don’t worry. I like the hairpin. And your dress… You look nice.”

She doubts he means it this way, but in her ears, just now, Satoru sounded as if he was asking who are you dressing up so nicely for? “Thanks,” she replies awkwardly, dropping her gaze to the floor. “This is how I usually dress, though.”

“Really?” He steps forward, cornering her against the kitchen counter as he parades his smirk. “Then, I should’ve appreciated you much sooner.” Burying his face in her neck, he has his hands roaming her sides, sliding down from her waist to her thigh. “And you smell so good…”

“Satoru.” She lands her grip on his shoulders when he bends down to pick her up, trying her best to halt his movements, but to no avail. He places her on the counter, his movements still wobbly but sure and forceful enough when he pries her legs open for him. “No, wait—”

“Pretty.” He takes possession of her mouth, his hand holding her firmly by the back of her neck. “You look so fucking pretty today, baby.”

“Stop—mmph—” With her protest being swallowed by his kiss, she resorts to using her strength, placing both palms on his chest, trying to push him away as much as she can. But it only excites him, thinking of it as a little game.

“You’re fighting back? That’s hot,” he chuckles lowly. His desire to control and consume her paints a new shade to his hazy eyes. “Do your best, Bunny. Be rough with me.”

He takes it as a challenge, more lust brimming in his stare, more bites in his drunken kisses. With his mouth latching against her throat—wet, hot, and needy—Satoru pushes her dress until it pools around her stomach. He catches her skin between his teeth, nibbling, sucking; the alcohol in his system makes him dismiss any sign of her discomfort and turns it into fuel for his desires, forcing him to focus only on what his body craves.

“Toru—” She cringes in pain, her nails sinking into the back of his shirt. “That hurts!”

“Yeah? What should I do, then?” He pins her hands down against the marble, licking on the bruise. “Want me to be gentle?” Satoru distances himself just enough to let her breathe. His kiss may have turned soft, but he keeps his hand around her throat, his palm pressed against her front, ignoring the way she swallows heavily under his touch. “All right. I’ll be gentle.” He speaks his empty promises with his smirk returning to his face, his tongue peeking out to run across his lip as he takes in her flustered, breathless look. “I’ll be so gentle with you.” He spreads her thighs apart. “Do it nice and slow.” He grinds his hips against her, watching the way his zipper rubs against the thinness of her underwear. “I’ll do it just how you like it.”

Her stomach twists and turns. She doesn’t want to admit it, but it feels so much like… fear.

“I-I have to go,” she tosses her head to the side, trying to seek a way out as her panic inflates rapidly. “I need to—”

“It can wait,” he growls, his thumb dragging her chin down before he smashes their lips together, tasting her as he pleases, owning her as if he weren’t the one who’s been neglecting her for the past few weeks. The kiss is all the chance he gives her to get accustomed to his advances, and it only lasts for a mere five seconds before he starts working on his belt.

She’s scared. Terrified, knowing that it will hurt. They hadn’t gotten together in weeks, and even with enough foreplay—from his point of view, that is—it still feels painful sometimes. “S-Satoru,” she struggles, pushing him away with her heart rising to her throat. “Please, stop—”

Then he does, much to her relief.

But not for her sake.

“I can’t get hard…” he mumbles rather drowsily, followed by a peal of laughter. “Well, that’s embarrassing. Probably because I drank too much.”

Quivers remain in her fingers, but the air feels less suffocating to breathe in now. “You… You should rest,” she whispers shakily.

“Yeah…” He separates himself from her, unsteadily walking toward the living room, oblivious to what he has caused. He crashes face-first on the couch, groaning out, “Ugh, can you get me some aspirin? My head’s killing me.”

With her palm pressed over her chest, her heart continues to beat wildly despite her attempt to tame it down. “Okay…” She slides off the counter, her legs feeling like jelly when she returns to the floor. Ignoring the unnerving feelings that still linger, she focuses on providing him with what he needs.

Satoru thanks her with a grunt, popping two pills inside his mouth and flushing them down with water.

She takes a seat on the end of the couch where he rests his feet, her fists clenched tightly on her lap. “H-How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m dying,” her boyfriend, with one hand draped over his eyes as he lies down, replies with a hum. “But I think I’m sobering up a little bit.”

She watches him closely, her thoughts branching in a thousand different ways. A part of her still reels in the fear from the previous moment. Another side—one that holds a soft spot for him—begs her to forgive him and grant him a moment to collect himself. The rest of her urges her to leave, her eyes darting toward the clock on the wall more than necessary. She’s running late.

I have to go, but… How should I tell him? “Satoru—”

“I’m sorry.”

She turns still. “W-what?”

“I’m sorry,” Satoru repeats heavily, his eyes trailing their way back to hers. “For not telling you where I went last night. I should’ve. And I shouldn’t have drunk so much after I promised you I’d take better care of myself. And also… Sorry for almost forcing myself on you. Should’ve stopped when you said no. I don’t know why I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

His words stun her enough that it deprives her of her breath. Despite how immature he could be, Satoru always apologizes when he makes mistakes—she just didn’t expect it to come so soon. But instead of giving her the sense of peace she desperately needs, it only adds to her already overflowing guilt. Here he is, tossing his selfishness aside and asking for her forgiveness despite still having the world spin before his eyes, while she, on the other hand, is busy thinking about her friend and the wonderful time they’re going to spend together instead of offering to take care of her lover.

“It’s…” She wets her lips. “It’s all right. You’re drunk. You weren’t being yourself.”

“That’s not an excuse.” Though his eyes remain hazy, the mischievous grin, his flirtatious smirk, everything has been washed away from his face without a trace. “Next time I do something like that, punch me in the face or something. I’d rather have a broken nose than find myself hurting you like that.”

She swallows, her stomach twisting under his heavy stare. “Okay…”

Satisfied with her answer, Satoru throws his head back, massaging his temple. “You said you had to go somewhere today?”

“Umm… yes.”

“Where?”

“Jimbocho. There’s a… book festival I want to visit there. One of my favorite authors is attending. I’m trying to get my book signed.”

“That’s cool. You’re going there by yourself?”

Her fingers twitch before she curls them tighter into fists. She takes a deep breath and confesses, “No, with a friend.”

“Who?”

“The… guy from the library.”

Her words, almost instantly, change the atmosphere between them and paint his eyes dark. “I thought I already told you not to get too close to him.”

Had he said that a moment ago when she was still vexed by his drunk antics with a random woman he met at a party, she would’ve fought back with poison lacing her tongue. But now, as her legs still tremble from what nearly happened, her heart conflicted with the apology he just uttered, she can only chew on her lip, not having any strength left to cross swords. “We’re just friends.”

The more she repeats the word friend, the more gasoline she pours onto the shimmering flame inside him. “He invited you to go with him, didn’t he? Just the two of you together.”

Her chest tightens. Satoru managed to guess the big picture, but the details are even worse than that.

“Hey, do you know they’re holding a book festival in Jimbocho this weekend?”

“Really?” Her eyes flickered away from the passage she was reading, returning to the pair of sapphires that always felt like home. She brimmed with interest, sticking a bookmark between the pages to give him her full attention.“This weekend? I haven’t heard anything about it.”

“Well then, I have a surprise for you.” Yuuta, with a smile radiant enough to surpass the stars, slid a flyer down the coffee table that separated them. Among the fancy words written on the glossy paper, her eyes captured a string of letters forming the same name as the one embossed on the cover of the novel she was holding. “Kawakami-sensei will be holding a meet and greet session in the afternoon, so if you go there, you can have your book signed and—”

“No way!” She snatched the flyer with passion bursting from each fingertip, her eyes turning round, moving from one sentence to another as she skimmed over the details. Yuuta laughed a little to himself, warmth filling his gaze as he watched her body tremble with excitement.“Wait, Murata-sensei is going to be there, too? Yuuta, this list is insane!”

“I know,” he chuckled. “So, what do you think? Do you want to go with me?”

“Are you kidding? Of course, I'd love to—” She stopped as she skated over a certain line, her shoulders sagging almost right after. “Oh, no…”

“What?”

“It says here that they have limited seats for Kawakami-sensei’s session. It’s in two days. Do you think we still have time to reserve some seats?”

“You’re right, probably not,” he sighed, matching her disappointment. “But we can still try, and make a call. There should be a phone number somewhere in the flyer.”

“Yeah, I found it. Hold on.” She rummaged through her purse with feverish haste, punching numbers into her screen the second she found her phone. “Dear Gods in heaven, please just grant me this one wish, and I’ll give you the biggest mochi that ever existed as an offering.”

“That’s quite extravagant for a bribe,” he commented in amusement.

“Shut up. Wish me luck.”

“Mm. Good luck.”

It didn’t take long before her line was connected, and it took her an even shorter amount of time for their rejection to ring through her ears and cut all the threads that carried her hopes afloat. Like a child deprived of her chance to visit her fantasy land, she sank back into her seat, tossing her phone carelessly to the table. “Seats are full. Damn it.” She tossed her head back, groaning, “Ugh, I was so excited about it. This is the worst day of my life.”

“Oh, no,” he commented, surprisingly, with one corner of his mouth twitching into a smile.

“What?” She questioned, knitting her eyebrows together. “What are you smirking about?”

“Nothing,” he grins a little wider as he rises to his feet. He pushes his arms through the sleeves of his coat, fixing his collar as his face glows with amusement. “I’m just picturing how you’ll look like after spending ten hours on the train trying to get that mochi. You know the biggest one is in Iwate, right? That’s five hundred kilometers away from here.”

“Yuuta, what are you talking about—”

He slid another piece of paper down the table, smaller in size but thicker. She picked it up with a frown before her eyes widened in disbelief. “You… You got us the tickets.”

“I got you your ticket,” he corrected with a smile. “There was only one seat left when I made the call. Thank goodness I wasn’t too late.”

She jumped back to her feet, pushing the ticket toward his chest. “You should have it, then!”

His hand, cold yet gentle, covered her own, his smile melting into a softer one. “No,” he guides her fingers to close around the paper. “I want you to have it.”

“But… You like her work as much as I do.”

“There will be another chance, I’m sure,” he assured her, releasing her hand despite his entire being begging him not to. “I’ll spend some time wandering around the area, and I’ll meet you back at the venue when you’re done. After that, we can have lunch together. There's this great Chinese restaurant not far away from there. I’ll treat you to some dumplings. What do you think?”

It was as if he owned the map that led him straight into her heart, bathing it with joy over and over again with every word and action he made. “That sounds perfect,” she breathed out in delight, her eyes crinkling on the edges. “Thank you, Yuuta.”

And she knew her gratitude could never repay the kindness he’d bestowed upon her, but to him, it was everything he could ever ask for.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

Telling Satoru the truth about what happened would end in a fight, she knows that for certain. “No, he didn’t invite me,” she answers, doing her best to remain unfaltering under Satoru's scrutinizing gaze. “I mentioned the event in passing when I met him at the library, and he said he wanted to check it out, too, so we… decided to go together, that’s all.”

A lie, one after another, and it sickens her to her bones, but what else can she say?

The pregnant pause that follows feels suffocating to her, and she wonders if it’s because Satoru, even in this state, can sense something in her words.

“Does he know about me?”

She knows the real question he’s asking: Does he know you belong to me?

“Yes. I’ve mentioned your name a few times.”

It doesn’t provide the assurance she wished for, but it elevates his ego just enough. “Good. This still pisses me off somehow, but I was a dick to you today, so…” He exhales, holding her gaze. “I trust you. You know what that means, right?”

She clenches her jaw. Those words are not born out of jealousy. This is him reminding her who owns her. “Of course.”

“All right. A book festival, huh?” he snorts. “Sounds like a party. Have fun.”

His tone irks her, but she doesn’t comment on it, not out loud. “I’ll be home before dinner.”

Satoru rolls himself to his side, snagging the throw blanket on the couch to cover his body. “Remember to tell Not Ugly Guy to keep his hands to himself.”

He flaunts his irritation like a child, but that’s the only thing he does. He could’ve said those words to Yuuta himself if he had cared enough. He could’ve told her, “Hey, you know what? Why don’t we go together instead?” and held her hand like a lover would instead of handing her over to another man and sulking all day about it. But he doesn’t do any of that, does he? He doesn’t even care enough to walk her to the front door. He chooses to drown in his anger instead of kissing her goodbye.

Satoru knows when he makes mistakes, and he takes responsibility for them. It’s the bare minimum a person can expect from a lover, but she appreciates that still. But this… This is the one thing he will never change about himself. His immaturity sticks to him like glue no matter how many years have passed between them.

If Yuuta were in his shoes, he would’ve—

No, she warns herself. Stop it. I’m being unfair to him. How would I feel if he started comparing me to another woman?

There’s no point in thinking about it now. Satoru will never change.

I just need to learn to accept him the way he is.

The way she’s always been for the last six years. ***

“Hey,” Yuuta greets her with a smile rivaling heaven’s golden hue. He arrives at the same moment she’s tangling her fingers around the door handle, one foot ready to enter the coffee shop they’d agreed to meet at before they proceed to the venue together.

She stiffens in surprise, mostly because she thought he was already inside with a cup of black coffee brewing in his hand—though a part of her doubts that he would, knowing how Yuuta would always prefer to wait for her before ordering anything, not wanting her to feel like he’d been waiting a long time for her arrival. He’d always ensure she was taken care of first, double-checking her order and running to the cashier to get it ready. She remembers how he does that in the library, too. Yuuta would never have his nose stuck between the pages if she weren’t there, afraid he'd fail to notice her walking into the room if he was drowning too far in his book. Only after she started reading her novel would he begin to indulge himself with his choice for the day.

“Good morning,” he beams, eyes thinning into half-moons. He’s holding his coat in his arm, looking effortlessly gorgeous in a black shirt that matches his raven hair. He’s out of breath, his forehead slick with beads of sweat that threaten to fall off his chin. “Thank goodness, you just arrived. I was worried I kept you waiting. Wait, let me hold that for you.” He opens the door for her, welcoming her in.

“Thank you.” Her heart feels light, more of his presence than just his courtesy. “Did you run on your way here?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles bashfully. “My apartment is nearby, and it usually took me fifteen minutes of walking to get here, but my cat made a mess, so I had to see my landlord and—” He stops himself, shaking his head. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“No, please, continue. I want to hear what happened.” Embraced by the warmth provided by the heaters in the room, she takes off her beanie as she steps further inside. “And I wouldn’t have minded waiting for you, you know.”

“No, I would’ve felt awful if I had kept you wai…” He stands still, lips parted in what seems to be awe the second he sees her hair. “…ting…”

There’s something written in his gaze, one that seems similar to the nostalgic feeling of meeting someone from the past. Not understanding why he’d feel that way, she assumes she read him wrong. His pretty eyes turn big and round as he gapes at her, utterly lost for words. “You… Your hair…”

“Huh? Oh, umm, yes.” She rakes her fingers over her strands, growing self-conscious. “I’m trying a different style. Does it look weir—”

“Perfect,” his compliment reverberates in the air before she can finish her sentence, his gaze, his heart, his soul enraptured. “You look… perfect.”

She can’t deny how much joy these little words bring. She feels appreciated. Satisfied. As if all the effort she’d put into styling her hair was for his sake and not for her own comfort. Yuuta runs his eyes over every detail, staring at her with such a longing gaze. His hand twitches, and for a brief moment, she thinks that he’s going to reach out to caress her strands, to give another praise, but through his touch, to make sure that she isn’t a dream even when she appears like one.

He notices it at the same time, it seems, as he suddenly throws his gaze to the ground, his fingers clenching into a fist to stop him from doing what his heart begs him to do.

“Y-you look amazing before, but—” He shyly looks at her again, smiling a little. “This suits you even better.”

The heat in her chest rises to her cheeks. Abashed, she tucks a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, exposing a glimpse of the supple skin on the side of her neck. Thanking him for the kind words, she walks forward, her heart dancing out of beat. She expects him to walk by her side, but Yuuta is still trapped in the same place, standing still like a statue.

Only this time, darkness resides in his gaze.

“Yuuta?”

He blinks once, his stare returning to hers. They turn gentle once more, crinkling on the edges as his mouth twitches in a smile. “Hmm?”

He switches back so fast that she wonders if it was all happening only in her head. She may have imagined the look in his eyes, but she was sure she had seen him staring before. What was he looking at? She asks herself, recalling how his gaze dropped down to her neck. Was it my necklace? My collar? She fixes it, just in case. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he smiles, but it’s the kind that leaves her queasy. The one that does not reach his eyes. He strides forward, asking, “So, matcha latte with oat milk like usual?”

“Umm, yeah.”

“Got it. Take a seat. I’ll order it for you.”

“Thank… you.” She walks separately with a frown, ruminating to herself as she finds an empty table for two. It’s not apparent, but there’s definitely a change in his behavior.

And if she had known him well as much as she knew Satoru, she’d realize that even though his words might come across as warm…

They reeked of jealousy.

Later that day, as she ties her hair up in a bun and brushes her teeth, she catches a splotch of dark bruise on her skin. It blooms purple on her neck, terrible enough for anyone who saw it to wonder how painful it must have been when she got it. It didn’t show when she wore her hair down earlier, perfectly hidden by her strands, but when she wears it up like this… or has them pushed aside…

Staring wide-eyed at her reflection in the mirror, her heart plummets to her stomach as her realization sinks in.

He must have seen it.

She’s ashamed, feeling like she just shattered the proper image of her in his mind—if there was even one to begin with. What will he think of me? She ponders, biting the nail of her thumb in her agitation. The thought of him perceiving her as a licentious woman who enjoys parading her lover’s kiss marks, wearing them as a badge of honor in public like that, terrifies her. She doesn’t want him to misunderstand or see her differently.

That following night, she can’t seem to draw her eyes to a close. The thought worries her so terribly that it chases her sleep away. But why does she care so much about what he thinks of her? No, more than that, why does it feel like… cheating? Not on Satoru, but on him. There’s this guilt that swells inside her, something similar to how she feels whenever Satoru questions her about him, only it’s worse. A million times worse. It almost feels like an act of betrayal, as if she was having a filthy affair behind his back with a man who knew how to hold her body but never her heart.

It’s such a ridiculous thought, but she can’t find herself laughing.

She sighs, realizing that in a matter of minutes, the sun will glow golden outside her walls, and she’ll have to face him again. Yuuta is a gentleman. He’ll never ask her about it, even if he had a thousand questions sprouting in his head.

Maybe I should just let it go and pretend he didn’t see it.

Easier said than done. Her chagrin and awkwardness still linger in her gestures when she greets him a few hours later, but Yuuta, despite looking like he couldn’t lie to save his life, wears his pretense perfectly. He acts the same way as usual, smiling and enjoying his endless conversations with her, doing it so well, that she begins to think… Maybe he didn’t see it.

Or he did, but… he just doesn’t care.

And that thought hurts her more than the way Satoru sank his teeth into her skin.

Her hand absentmindedly finds its way back to the scarf she has wrapped around her neck, her lips itching to say, it’s not what you think; he forced it on me, but she remembers she has no reason to. Yuuta is just a stranger she met a few weeks ago. There’s no need to explain or apologize, no matter how much her heart wants to. It would’ve been weird if she did.

“Yuuta.”

“Yes?”

“Wanna go get some crepes before we go home?”

He brightens, fireworks in his eyes. “Sure!” ***

From the first day she encountered the handsome stranger in the library, she always fell asleep with her heart fluttering. It almost feels like she’s a little girl, excited over her upcoming journey to the unknown. That’s what it is essentially, isn’t it? Every time she closes her lids and sinks deep into her slumber, she’ll wake up somewhere new, somewhere different, but what matters the most is that she will always, always wake up to his smile. It’s only right for her to be thrilled. After all, her dreams of him are always the sweetest ones.

Last night’s dream started with her walking down the street, stopping right before an intersection. As she looked around, her gaze stretching far across from where she was, she spotted the man for whom her heart longed, walking down the road that would lead him to her. She broke into her biggest smile, her hand raised high in the air, waving to gain his attention from behind the passing cars. She couldn’t wait for the lights to turn green. She wanted to run to him, to fall into his arms, to meet his lips with her own.

As the dream version of her drowned in the sweet fantasy of their reunion, her real self used the chance to collect all the details. She was still in Tokyo, she realized. The city—bright, colorful, and a hundred years younger—remained the same as it was in her last vision, still struggling to discover its identity by maintaining its traditional aspects while absorbing Western influence into its pores. Yuuta’s attire, however, was the perfect balance of that, with a white, collarless button-down shirt layered by an iron grey kimono, hakama bottoms that were a shade lighter, waraji sandals, and a dark flat cap to complete the look.

The young man caught her gaze from across the street, surprise overtaking his face before it instantly brightened as if she breathed more life into him, only with a simple curve of her lips. “Stay there,” he mouthed. “I’ll come to you!”

She nodded, her heart beating fast in the novelty of a first love.

Yuuta crossed the road in haste the second the lights changed, his mind focusing solely on her presence that he didn’t bat an eyelash when the wind swiftly stole his hat away and knocked it over to the ground. A few disturbed pedestrians cursed at him when his shoulder brushed against theirs inadvertently. His legs continued to run as he uttered his apology, only coming to a halt once he crushed himself against her in a tight hug. With the biggest grin, he lifted her off the ground, twirling her once while they basked in the elation of reuniting with each other. They softened each other’s gleeful giggles with a sweet kiss, one that lasted only a mere second despite their wish to continue. Had there been no witnesses, they would’ve spent an eternity just drowning in their passion for each other.

“You surprised me!” he exclaimed, breathless from the euphoria running through his bloodstream. “I didn’t think I’d see you here. I was going to pick you up from work. I thought you’d be ready by five like always.” He checked on the ticking watch circled around his wrist. “There’s still half an hour till then. Why aren’t you in the library?”

“Why are you already here, then, if there’s still half an hour on the clock?”

“Oh, umm…” He threw his gaze to the pavement, rubbing the back of his head as he turned shy. “I couldn’t stay still at the office. I kept thinking about you, and I just…” He slowly returned his gaze to hers. “I wanted to see you as soon as I could…”

Her heart soared and melted at the same time. “This is embarrassing for me to admit, but… I felt the same way. I missed you so terribly that I kept rereading the same page. Gakuganji-sensei told me I could leave early if I wanted to—I think he could tell my mind was elsewhere. I knew there was still time until you arrived, but I couldn’t wait any longer in that library, so I thought I’d meet you halfway. And maybe then we could spend half an hour longer with each other.”

Yuuta’s sparkly eyes turned round as he listened. “You… thought that…?”

“Yes,” she admitted with a bashful smile. “Don’t start crying now.”

“I won’t,” he sniffled, making her laugh. “Come here.” He pulled her into his embrace again, where she belonged, his arms tenderly enveloping her this time. “Maybe I should leave my office early every day so we’ll have more time together. Another half an hour longer with you… I’d love that.”

“I don’t think neither of us should make that a habit, but,” she tittered. “I’d love that, too.”

They traded smiles, her face scrunching adorably when he playfully rubbed the tip of their noses together.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he sighed, cradling her head close and burying his face in her strands. “I’ve spent every waking hour thinking about you, Sweetheart. These last four days felt like torture without you.”

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered their wings. “Me too.”

“I missed you,” he repeated. “I missed you so much.” Romance laid thick in the kisses he peppered down from her temple, her cheek, her nose, but when he heard her giggling from it, he nuzzled his face to her neck, tickling her further until she chortled out loud.

“Stop,” she laughed, placing a hand on his chest. “We’re in public.”

“Can we go somewhere private, then?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I believe it’s too early for us to act so indecently, Okkotsu-sama.”

“No, I—” He blushed. “I meant to talk. I have something I want to tell you. It’s good news.”

“What is it?”

He smiled, his hand sliding down to fill the spaces between her fingers.“Let’s go somewhere nice first.”

***

With their hearts intertwined and her dress swaying with every step taken, they walked down a path together. Crafted by a romantic hand, the sunset blossomed red and gold before them, a sweet caress of warmth to their cheeks amid the cool autumn breeze. They arrived at a lush park teeming with vibrant flowers and plants that were beautiful and fragrant. The leaves had not changed hues yet, but it would only be a matter of time before they colored the soil gold and scarlet.

A large fountain rested at its heart, confined by a ring of stones and concretes. The sound of water cascading, the shimmering reflection of light, and the beauty of the surrounding landscape had captivated the hearts of many, including their own, no matter how often they had visited the place in the past. It was there that they could be granted a moment of serenity, away from the briskness of the city.

They sat next to each other on the edge of the fountain, with her tilting her head in curiosity as he rummaged the insides of his bag. To her surprise, he presented her with a book, its thick weight unfamiliar when she held it between her hands. But once her eyes skated over the title and the author’s name, her stomach flipped.

It was Revival by Saori.

“T-this is—” Her jaw turned slack, searching for words. “Yuuta—”

“I did it,” he grinned. “I built your dream company.”

Her joy engulfed her so fast, so intense, she found herself jumping into his arms. He giggled endearingly at her reaction, his hands winding around her waist in reflex. With her hands circled around his neck and their hearts beating against one another, she whispered his name amid her gratitude in a voice laced with her upcoming tears.

“Are you crying?” She shook her head no despite her eyes growing hot. He laughed softly in return, rubbing her head in return. “Don’t cry. Be happy for me.”

“I am happy. That’s why I’m crying.”

“I thought you said you weren’t crying.”

She landed a weak punch on his chest in return, feeling the vibration of his laughter against her cheek as she buried her face further in his warmth. “Wanna hear about our progress so far?”

Though enthusiastic about it, she could only nod in response, her lips still quivering from her tears. Yuuta smiled, telling his story as he continued to stroke her hair, a habit born out of his adoration.

“We’ve managed to sign a deal with six different authors. They’ve sent us a bunch of manuscripts—all of them are very interesting, and I honestly can’t wait for you to read everything. We’ve assigned some editors to work closely with them, and we’ll make sure to keep the authenticity of their works as best as possible. As of now, we have eight books we’re planning to release in the following months; three of them are from Saori-sensei. I know eight books are nothing compared to what other publishers release in a year, but… It’s a start. And you’re right. Seeing the joy on these authors’ faces when we give their stories a chance… It’s so fulfilling.”

She had a million things to say, yet she couldn’t say anything at all. Her chest felt so full that it left her breathless. “Words cannot express just how proud I am of you, Yuuta,” she curled her fingers around the back of his kimono, sinking her face into the crook of his neck as she struggled to blink back her tears. “I wish I could compose a better compliment, but… You’re amazing. Your bravery, your hard work, your resilience—I admire you so much.”

She might think that these words were far from enough to cheer his soul, but to him, they were everything he wanted to hear and more. “Thank you,” he whispered, brushing a kiss upon her temple. “This is all because of you.” She shook her head in disagreement. “No, really. I wouldn’t have done any of this if you didn’t give me the idea and motivation. You made this happen.”

She sobbed a little harder, stealing another chuckle out of him. “If you don’t believe me,” Yuuta splayed the book open on her lap, flipping the book’s first few pages. “Here. Look, even she thought so.”

She stopped breathing. There, written on the page before the first chapter began, was her name. Out of all the people to whom Saori could dedicate this book, she chose her. The author thanked her for making her dream come true, for giving her a chance and relight the hope she had once lost.

“Did… Did you ask her to write this?”

“No.”

“But you told her about me.”

“Uhh…” He winced. “A little bit.”

She shut the book closed. “Yuuta!”

“I just wanted her to know that this all happened because of you.” His eyes drooped as he pouted. “Was that.. something I shouldn’t have done?”

“No, it’s just… I feel embarrassed.” And happy. So happy, she felt tears prickling in the corner of her eyes again. “But this isn’t right. She should’ve been thanking you.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. Looks like she wrote down the right name to me,” Yuuta grinned rather cheekily, lightly bumping his shoulder against hers. “If I were her, I would’ve written down your name, too.”

Though she couldn’t accept the appreciation just yet, she focused on what mattered. Wiping her tears away, she asked, “Just how did you get your father to agree to this?”

“It surely wasn’t easy at first. I had to come up with a bunch of different business plans, trying to find one that piqued his interest. It took me months to convince him, but he eventually agreed. What surprised me was that he also agreed to fund my company and let me run the business all by myself. Maybe this is his way of testing me since I was being really stubborn about making a company for myself, and if it is, then I’ll take it as a challenge. It’s frightening and exciting at the same time to be in this position. I like it. I feel like I’m finally starting a new chapter in my life.”

Watching him suffused with so much jubilation brought her the same joy. She pressed a hand over his cheek, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. “I know you’ll do well,” she said with a pretty bow of her lips. “I’m sure of it.”

Yuuta angled his face to brush a tender kiss against her palm. “I know it took me almost a year to get to this point, and I’m sorry for making you wait so long. I was really worried that I’d run out of time to fulfill my promise to you, but… Thank goodness I made it just in time.”

“I would’ve given you all the time in the world, Yuu. There was no need for you to rush.” She pulled away, resting her palms on his chest. “I still can’t believe this is happening… You never mentioned anything about this, and I was always too scared to ask. I thought you’d forgotten about it and chose to do something else.”

“How could I forget about it? It’s your dream, isn’t it?” He pushed her hair out of her eyes with the gentlest caress of his fingertips. “And what follows after that… is my dream.”

If there was one thing in the world I wished of you… It’s for you to marry me.

Her heart hammered against her ribcages as though it was trying to find a way to escape. “Yuuta—”

“You said you would’ve given me all the time in the world, but Sweetheart, I don’t want that,” he sighed, yearning in his eyes, the kind that she imagined Saori aimed to portray in her book. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to hear your answer to my proposal. I want to know if you’ll… marry me…”

With his voice sweeter than a siren’s call, his intention so pure with nothing but affection in his heart, just how could anyone resist him? To decline his proposal would’ve been foolish of her—and she never wanted to. Every fiber of her being wanted him, needed him, loved himthe same way. Had she made a name for herself, something that could make her feel worthy to stand by his side, she would’ve stated her eternal vows right here, right then, to promise him that she’d love him until her dying breath, but—

Your father must be ecstatic to learn how his little, obedient son wastes his time with a commoner.

Naoya Zenin’s honeyed yet sickening voice, filled with nothing but mockery and disdain, echoed through her mind, snapping away all threads of hope and keeping her bound to the ground—reminding her of the reality that they did not belong in the same world.

“Yuuta…” She cast her gaze to the side. She was unsure what to say to him. Knowing him and how stubborn he could be to achieve his goal, she could tell he’d dismiss the differences in their status in a heartbeat, but what about everyone else in his life? What about his father? She hadn’t gotten the chance to meet him yet, but the way Naoya mentioned him…

I need to find an excuse. “Don’t you think we’re… too young to be married?”

He blinked once before scarlet painted over his cheeks. “W-we don’t have to do it right now! I know there are still things you want to do before you settle down, and I won’t rob that away from you, but…” He wetted his lips, restless. “I just—I want you to know that when I asked you to be my lover, this has been my intention from the start. I never dreamed of a fleeting romance. I want something that lasts, and I had never wanted to have anything like that with anyone until I met you. After knowing what it feels like to be with you, to be the happiest version of myself, I feel I can’t live without you anymore. It’s frightening to even think about parting with you for a second. It pains me every time we say goodbye, and I wish I never had to say that to you ever again. That’s why I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, each and every second of it. And I wish you’d feel the same way, too.”

She had her hand pressed against her chest, fingers curling as the same thought occurred in her mind, the same thought she wished she could profess out loud so he’d know she yearned for him just the same. “But.. What would your father think of me?” She finally spoke the truth.

He witnessed the crestfallen look she’d been trying to conceal. He leaned in close, taking her hand away from her heart. “I know you’re scared,” he intertwined their fingers together, kissing the back of her hand. “And I am, too. But we both thought my father would disagree with me about building my own company, and yet, he didn’t. Not only that, he has also become my main shareholder now. I wouldn’t have gone this far without his help.”

She gazed away. “I don’t think we can put our hopes based on that, Yuu…”

Sadness fleeted across his face, and it crushed her heart, but she had to say it to put a stop to his naivety before it was too late. He rested their joined hands on his lap, his voice quiet when he asked, “Is there any part of you that wishes to marry me?”

“Yes,” she said, without a second to waste. “Yuuta, every part of me wishes to marry you.”

He spun his head toward her, taking every detail of her expression. The tears that brimmed in her eyes, how she looked back at him… His heart swelled in joy, tugging on her hand until she fell back into his arms.

“That’s enough,” he breathed in relief, his lids shutting in bliss as his lips hovered above her shoulder. “To hear that you want to marry me, too—that’s more than enough for me. This is the happiest I’ve ever been…” He tightened his embrace. “Thank you…”

Her heart shattered. “Yuuta—”

“I beg you,” he cut her off quickly with a broken voice. “Please… Let’s hold on to those feelings for now. Don’t think too much about the future, don’t think about anything else, just focus on what you want to do with me. Just… listen to what your heart tells you to, the same way I listen to mine. Please…”

With those words digging their way into her heart, she found no strength to fight. He won. All the battles raging inside her, all these thoughts begging her to distance herself before time could hurt them, he chased them all away. It was easy, so easy to give in when all pieces of her soul craved for it, too.

“Just believe in us,” Yuuta whispered, before he added with a shy chuckle, “Love will find a way. Isn’t that what they say?”

She blinked back her tears, finding herself smiling just the same. It sounded too good to be true, but she chose to believe in it—no, she chose to believe in him. She knew, one way or another, he would find a way for them to be together. Whatever path he took, no matter where it’d lead them, she’d walk it with him if it meant she never had to let go of his hand.

A small space stood between them, a space that, judging from the way his eyes fell onto her lips, he longed to replace with a kiss. “C-can I be selfish and ask for one more present?”

Witnessing how his cheeks bloomed in the same shade of the red tulips flourishing around them, she knew the perfect way to answer him. She slid her hands in a graceful dance up his chest, her eyes drooping as she leaned in close. A whisper of “Yes” fell upon his lips, followed right after by the perfect kiss.

Perfect, until she wakes up. ***

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