#poor connor dude

[sunnynightsartist]

3 am thoughts but why did Charles lee ever think choking a 4 YEAR OLD against a tree was a brilliant idea, and why did Hickey, Johnson, and Church not stop for a second to go "hm maybe we shouldnt choke this TODDLER and KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A LITERAL MUSKET" ???? Connor was 4(I THINK i'll have to check) NO older then 6 💔💔

GROWNASS MEN BULLIED A 4 YEAR OLD 😭 couldve just asked nicely, "hey can you tell your elders"- NO YOU CHUCKED THE POOR THING DOWN A HILL??

I dont understand the logic still, LIKE not even for being "scary" or idk "intimidating", thats a 4 year old he dont gaf YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE INTELLIGENT TEMPLARS. Johnson especially like Shay my guy, that guy helped knock a child unconscious and watched said child get choked out 💔💔

For storytelling i guess it would be to show the different side of the templars??(aka a negative one) but idk it always confused me, also Pitcarin not being there i wonder where he was. At least he wasnt BULLYING CHILDREN

I may be getting my info wrong or mixed up but i just played through this part again and it got me thinking again😭

[eaterofdust]

Time to spitefully take photos of the first movie just to prove my point... Alas. What has this world come to.

[asukaindetroit]

I tend to do the same with fic—I don't entirely care what the ship is, I'll read it if it's well-written and I like the premise/genre (Conversely, I don't care who you're pairing up, I think coffee shop AUs are boring. No offense if that's anyone else's cup of tea—pun intended—they just do nothing for me.) Even if the pairing objectively makes zero sense, it's fun sometimes to see what mental gymnastics the author did to make it happen. And of course good art is good art even when it features characters IDGAF about. Still nice to look at.

Like, there are exactly two canon ships in the whole Detroit franchise where both characters appear on screen—Norkus and Ripple/Echo—maybe Kara/Luther if you stretch it, but they aren't stated to be together so much as they're coparenting Alice on the run. So anything else is fandom, and I am here for the fandom.

i have this problem where i will be like "i do not ship this ship in any capacity" but i will be out here reblogging art and reading fics about it bc above all else i am a connoisseur of the arts and i don't care if i don't ship it. quality is quality.

[l0s3rd0wnt0wn]

YOU ONE OF THEM QUEERS???

Yandere Conner Kent x Weird black!reader

So what if you invited your brother's best friend to watch One Piece with you? He said he never had! What kind of psycho has never watched One Piece? You thought, but then again, the psycho was a test tube baby; he wouldn't know about the amazing run of Disney Channel back in the day, how it used to be, or how hyped everyone was for the Kaido fight with Luffy, or understand the cultural significance of a DBZ movie in theaters. You had to show this little lab rat the greatness of TV. Sure, he knows, but he doesn't know more. I mean, he never rushed home to watch Toonami after school. You had to teach him, and well, your little guinea pig was eager to know. Connor wanted to get closer to you in every way possible—be your best friend, be your favorite superhero, maybe even boyfriend if you catch the hints he's dropping. No, he doesn't just want to play Smash Bros; he wants you guys to be more than tag team buddies, but you'll only see him as something friendly. He calls you "babe," and you hit him with a "bro," you're breaking the poor boy's heart. He holds your waist; you think it's just a friendly gesture. He leans his head on your shoulder, smelling the cocoa butter you spread in your dreads and how it sticks to anything he wears. But to you, "Awe, the little guinea pig is sleepy," you teased, and this was the night you invited him over to the mansion. I mean, there's literally an entertainment room; it would be a shame not to watch the best story created by my man on a freaking projector!

"Wow, you're early; the popcorn ain't even poppin'!" you joked, a coy little smile on your face.

"I like being on time, babe," he smirked back, entering the mansion. "Hey, no boots, mister! This floor is hardwood, and I know you walk around in mud!" you warned, but there was still a playful edge to it.

“Ugh, babe, buy me a drink first before you see my feet!” Conner said with a big grin, and you made a fake gagging sound, causing the two of you to laugh. You took him by the hand and pulled him to the entertainment room.

"So how far are you in One Piece?" you asked. You forced him to watch it, but you couldn't call it force, because he watches it with you, telling him to listen and obey whatever you say. "Don't watch the movie; it's a waste of money." He was looking forward to it, but if you hate it, he hates it too. "Yuck, I hate the comic writer; he retcons almost everything if he can't fit it into a plot." If it's that bad, he won't read their comics.

"This fandom is pretty toxic, but come on, the merch is amazing! I mean, look at these MHA pins; they're too cute!" If you like those pins on your bag so much, then he'll wear a Todoroki pin on his leather jacket to make you smile.

You sat with Conner in the theater; it was the whole Cake Island arc. You were already on Wano, but Conner was new to the game, so you didn't mind going a couple of arcs back for him. His head was laid gently on your shoulder; you felt him sniff you and nuzzle his nose into your neck, which made you giggle.

"Dude, quit staring in. Try to pay attention; this is important for later arcs," you always say, but you're way more important to him.

"You say that every time," Conner huffed.

"Cause it is!" you gave a half-hearted laugh.

You looked down at him, and for some reason, the glowing light of the projector made you look stunning. The blue light cascading on your dark skin made you look so surreal, as if you weren't from this planet.

"Come on, Conner, just pay attention for a minute. I promise it'll be worth your while," you said softly. It felt so intimate, like you guys were in an actual movie theater, and you were like.

"Shhh, baby! We can't make out right now; the fight scene is happening." You're such a dense dork, but oh, it just makes it even better.

"Yeah, I'll pay attention." News flash: he won't. He'll be too busy staring at you and how your face lights up during the fights. His super hearing means he'll still listen, but he'd rather watch you, and maybe later he'll watch a YouTube video explaining the arc.

"God, I wish I were as cool as Sanji. He looks so wicked in that red cape! You know, you should really get a cape like that. I know your whole thing is leather jackets, but come on, you have to try out red. Plus, I heard it makes a person's eyes..." You trailed off as you turned to look at Conner, who had his full attention on you, and, God, it made you blush a slight purple.

"Shit, I'm rambling again. I know you don't want to hear me yap. Good, I feel like such a skeeze-"

"No, you're not," he said softly but firmly. It made you giggle like a schoolgirl.

"What?~" you said, nervously

"I like your voice a lot, baby." Now, when he says it like that, it doesn't feel like a cute little nickname he came up with.

"And I like it especially when you talk about shit you like. You're so passionate about it; you don't see that with regular people. You're so genuine," he continues, getting closer. You turn away, covering your face. God, you're such a dork. He just wants to take you right here and now, but that would be unlawful.

"So what, you think I'm cool or something?" You laughed with a half-hearted smirk.

"I think you're amazing, babe," he answered, grabbing your face to look at him, and you laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. This made Conner laugh too.

"I'm trying to be smooth, and you're laughing at me!" Conner chuckled.

"Smooth? Yeah, right! You're as smooth as the acne on my forehead!" Then you both burst out laughing, your foreheads connecting. "Goofy-ass motherfucker!" you said in between giggles.

"Come on, baby, you know I've moved some; they say I've got rizz~" You pushed Test Baby to the side, snorting.

"Who the hell lied to your bum ass?" you snickered.

"No one!" He protested.

"Uh-huh," you pulled yourself closer to him, wrapping your long arms around his neck. "You have no game."

"You just don't want to admit I'm cooler than you," he quipped.

"In your clone dreams," you snapped playfully.

"You're in my cloned dreams," he said, your face getting uncomfortably close; it made you laugh.

"That shit was corny as hell," and you and Conner giggled some more; he felt your touch ever so gently.

"Can I?"

"Can you?"

He then pressed his lips to yours, and Conner could have sweated as he ascended to another state of being. Your lips tasted like buttered popcorn and cheap soda—something he loved more than anything, especially if that flavor was you. He pulled you closer, his hands wrapping around your slim waist. Your hand was now placed on his cheek as you felt him slowly start to get on top of you, and you let him. And shit, who cares if you're kissing your brother's best friend? He should have called dibs by now.

You gasp for air, but Conner doesn't let you recover. He presses his lips against you hard this time, passionately. He has kissed a whole ton of people before, which gives him the experience you lack. You feel him suck on your tongue, and you whimper just a little, shivering. Is this how it feels to kiss? ‘Cause if it is, God fucking bless! You feel his gloved hand reach underneath your Wonder Man hoodie. You grab his arm and pull away. He hears the great Superboy whine like a puppy, and it makes you snicker just a little. Your hand that was on his cheek moves to his now swollen lips.

"Kon, pay attention; this part is important. This is when Luffy fights Katakuri, and we get to see his Devil Fruit," you whispered against his lips. Da fuck? You stopped good kissing and touching for an anime fight??

Your lucky he thinks your hot.

(Made this one while listening to chapple roan God I love that little lesbian)

[legbootlegit]

Sick of feeling sick? Here are FIVE alternative medicines to help you feel your best 👇

Headache Hugh (for pain relief)

Everyone knows it's WHO you know, not WHAT chemicals you put in your body

Diarrhea Dave (for upset stomach/Hershey squirts)

All of these little men are fully licensed and bonded, which is more than you can say for some doctors

Allergy Allen (for allergy relief)

Sometimes your relationship with health needs to be taken to the next level. Allen is eligible and very available

Constipation Connor (for when the plumbing is not draining correctly)

As with all medicines, side effects and interactions with other dudes can occur. Connor should not be taken with Dave

Gassy Gary (for problems with fart pregnancy)

Just because you are focusing on health doesn't mean you should be poor. Strike up a mutually beneficial arrangement with Gary as a side hustle.

[multi-fandomedfreak]

Gn!reader and Connor making out in a semi-public spot and Hank is just like "OMFG PLS STOP RUINING MY INNOCENCE BOY"

Maybe hcs of every time hes caught them doing a lil too much PDA wise

(Doesn't specifically have to be making out just excess PDA, maybe Connor and reader are flirting a whole lot just whatever ur comfy with!)

Authors note: IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA.

Characters: Connor x Gn!Reader and third wheel Hank (poor guy)

⚠Warnings⚠: Semi-Public making out, mentions of dying (just a little)

🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙

The first time

-You and Connor think you guys are so slick

-Spoiler: you’re not

-You were both pretty new into the relationship so couldn’t keep your hands off each other

-And plus since the station barely had any people, why not sneak off with each other?

-Thinking it was gonna be for just a small while, you both are at the back of the station, smoochin’ away

-and surprise surprise

-you end up staying there long enough for Hank to actually end up getting worried

-like do you have any idea? how long you two have to be away for? for hank to get worried??

-Bc its not like he doesn't care or anything but he simply isn't used to having to actively keep an eye on you two

-but then them mother instincts kicked in after he noticed you two had been gone for a while

-He just starts asking around if anyone saw the two of you

-And happened to stumble in on you guys (poor dude screamed he needed bleach after walking in on you two)

-Lets just say that Hank kept a closer eye on you two after that

The second time

-You two have calmed down since the last incident with Hank walking in on you guys

-But of course you still had your moments with each other

-this time around you weren’t in that much of a public space (what you told yourself)

-just casually behind the Chicken Feed truck while Hank ate his lunch

-yknow, like how normal people do

-You two honestly don't really understand how it even happened

-You wanted a drink from a nearby shop since the drink you wanted wasn't sold at the Chicken Feed

- And Connor simply asked if he could tag along

-Aaand next thing you know you're both behind the Chicken Feed truck, drink long forgotten, with Connor trapped between you and the truck

-Of course, Hank gets worried again since he's a pretty slow eater so he doesn't know how you're still not back after all this time

he swears... that's it. jk jk, I'm just being stupid. anyways, he swears that you both are gonna give him a heart attack someday from how much he worries

-He tries calling you on his phone and gets confused when he hears your ringtone from behind the truck

-Time skip a few minutes later, Connor and you have red ears from Hanks grip and sulking in the car ride to the station after his lecture

-Mostly because he swears the two of you make him worried sick on purpose

The third time

-Ok. this time.

-You didn’t even try to hide it

-Like no joke, just decided to make out right there and then

-On Hanks couch.

-knowing he was about to be back in a little bit

-but heyyyy you both could’ve cared less in that moment

-A few hours earlier, you were after a suspect and one thing lead to another so all of a sudden, you were being held hostage

-So this making out was a bit justified since you almost died thinking that you were never gonna see Connor again

-And he was just as scared

-Soo both of ya just wanted to hold each other for a bit

-That’s probably why when Hank got back from doing whatever Hank does, he bit his tongue (literally) to stop a snippy remark from falling out

-He was just happy you were alive and you two were finding comfort in each other

-Albeit, a little grossed out at your show of affection

-He just cursed under his breath and went to go take a nap

[asukaindetroit]

Some random headcanons for Nines, who, let's face it, is entirely a product of headcanons because he canonically exists for one bonus scene where he does nothing but blink vapidly: I adore deviant Nines as an absolute supercomputer badass, and am also willing to accept no-thoughts-head-empty Nines for the lulz value, but I also propose this: A Nines who is existentially frustrated by everyone comparing him to Connor all the time. Like, Connor's a Big Deal. That newsreel of Connor leading an android army is super iconic. Everybody knows Connor. Connor's on fucking talk shows telling the 60 Minutes hosts of the 2030s all about the struggle for Android Rights. Connor is TIME magazine's runner-up Person of the Year, only because Markus was the Person of the Year winner. Nines, poor dude, gets activated post-revolution, only for the humans to be like, "Hey, aren't you Connor?" And he has to explain that no, he's not Connor, he's Nines/Niles/Richard/Conrad/Whatever Other Name You Pick. (Personally, I like Niles with Nines as a nickname, but YMMV.) (More below because this gets wordy)

Eventually some paparazzo gets pics of the two of them side-by-side. The internet immediately generates all the same exact memes we have about the two: software/hardware, PS4/PS5, etc. The "totally looks like" meme gets revived just for them. This does not stop the confusion. Instead, someone produces the "twink/twunk" meme and the Whole Fucking Internet dubs him "Twunk Connor" and runs with it as the internet does. Nines gets spotted eating a thirium cookie? #FeedTwunkConnor trends. Nines chases a perp in the streets? #TwunkConnorTakedown all over the socials. Nines shopping? #TwunkConnorSighting. Poor dude lives in the perpetual shadow of a much more famous, near-identical brother. Society expects him to be Connor 2.0 when he's been alive for like five whole minutes and still hasn't figured himself out yet. It's giving him a massive complex. This, incidentally, is grounds for bonding with Gavin, who I am 100% willing to accept is related to Kamski somehow. He, too, knows what it's like to live in the shadow of a much more famous relative. Gavin offers the following: “All you gotta do is make your whole vibe the polar opposite of him, change your last name, and add a few distracting scars. Like nobody even notices we have almost the exact same voice.” To which Nines replies, “I am not copying your look; they would just call me Trash Connor then.”

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

Shout out to that one Wildcat backliner who had no idea what was going on. Like, that interaction must have been so weird from his perspective.

So imagine you're invited to this get together after the banquet, and yeah you're down to party. You're new to playing exy in college, and some people from your own team will be there, as well as people from other teams, sounds fun.

Then the same people that invited you told you to come over to invite this other guy from the Trojans team; Jeremy Knox. And of course you've heard of him, the guy's a legend. So you go over there, and Lander just sneaks up behind him and starts raining candy right in his face? Unprompted? Alright. Kinda out there but they implied they knew Jeremy so maybe he just likes the candy. You're sister's crazy about the stuff.

But then Connors, who just claimed to know the literal celebrity personally, calls him the wrong name, and you're thinking to yourself "well that's embarrassing". Luckily Jeremy seems to take it in stride and corrects him, but it goes ignored? Then Lander eats the candy and sticks out his tongue like two inches from Jeremy's face and it's like. Boundaries? Hello? Maybe this is just their dynamic, you don't know.

So they invite him and while they do so, they just line up the candy like coke. And it's like dude. We're trying to be discreet here? Why are you advertising we're about to go do drugs after this? So Jeremy's polite about it and turns them down, and like fair enough. He also isn't eating the candy that was offered to him, and you think back to your sister again.

But then Connors keeps pushing for some reason, even tries to bring you in on it, and like you don't know what to say, and the poor guy seems kinda uncomfortable at this point. So you try and shift topics and ask for some of the candy he doesn't want to give to your sister, and Jeremy's nice and gives you some. He seems cool. Then Connors starts asking if you brought your sister and like no? He knows you didn't? Weird to ask. Then, in the biggest tone shift of your life, Connors starts mocking Jeremy about his dead sibling. Like? Oh my God? Such an extreme reaction to someone turning down a party invitation? How do you even react?

Now it's super awkward when Jeremy hands you the candy for your sibling, and Connors just keeps going and going. At this point you're wondering if you should just leave, when the ex raven guy, another celebrity, starts threatening Connors and it's like yeah fair enough. Then Connors just pulls yet another one eighty and tries to convince the ex raven to join White Ridge and now you're wondering if Connors just has a thing with being overly comfortable and hostile towards celebrities. Who even is this guy? The ex raven turns him down in such a way that you're a little insulted by proxy but like yeah this Connors did just mock his friend's dead sibling so a little meanness is prompted. Now the Trojans coach is mad and you all have to leave, and then you hear him ask if someone was doing coke at the table, making you rethink even going to this party in the first place.

[lehnsharrk]

The *New* Fassbender Psychopath Scale 😈

*Updated 05/08/2025*

I wanted to expand on the one introduced on the Kelly Clarkson show, below are the Fassy movies I've seen, my general "psychopath" rating for each character and reason why

For context I am essentially swapping "psychopath" with "evil." I am in no way trying to tie this to any psychological disorders or do a deep dive into any characters. Just a very surface-level "how nefariously evil is this character?"

These are my opinions, I encourage you to share, comment and make your own ratings. I will also be updating as I watch more of his films.

There *will* be spoilers so if you haven't seen these movies/shows, consider yourself warned!

The scale will also be a 0-5. I'm using 👿 and a zero will be a 👍

Let's go! 🦈

Movies 🎥

300: Stelios 👍

Dedicated warrior fighting along side his King until the very end. Definitely the most acrobatic and sassiest soldier too. I will give him a pass on the time-appropriate sexist joke just this once.

Hunger: Bobby Sands 👍

He was on hunger strike for his cause and ended up starving to death. Very sad.

Eden Lake: Steve 👍

Guy and his girlfriend just trying to escape and survive a gang of murderous teenagers.

Fish Tank: Connor 👿👿👿👿👿

Oh boy, this guy... He grooms and r*pes a child, and then if that wasn't bad enough, she's the daughter of his girlfriend, and if THAT wasn't bad enough, we find out he's got a wife and child he's been keeping this from.

Inglourious Basterds: Lt. Hicox 👍👍

Goes undercover to help defeat the n*zis (helps get a few killed too, even though he dies in the process).

Centurion: Quintus Dias 👍

Just a soldier, trying to survive. (Sorry don't remember much)

Jane Eyre: Mr. Rochester 👿👿👿

Keeps his wife, suffering from mental illness, locked in the walls and keeps it a secret so he doesn't scare off another woman he's trying to marry. Eeek!

X-Men: Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto 👿👿

Erik's anger comes from a place of trauma and his worst fears keep coming to fruition. That being said, he does blindly distrust all humans, betrays Charles multiple times and causes so much unnecessary destruction.

A Dangerous Method: Carl Jung 👿👿

Shame: Brandon Sullivan 👿

Doctor cheats on his wife with his patients, twice. One of his patients was also his subordinate at the time too.

A man suffering with addiction and trauma, plus added guilt when his sister stays over. As much as I want to give him a 👍 he does get pretty aggressive with his sister, who's also suffering from trauma.

Haywire: Paul 👿👿

I wasn't paying attention (he's not in it for that long) but I think he double crossed the main character and shot someone?

Prometheus/Alien Covenant: David 8 👿👿👿

I will defend David with my dying breath but to be honest, he does some horrendous things. Intentionally infecting humans with alien parasites, massacring an entire planet, killing and experimenting on someone he loved? Sorry David, you're getting a 3!

12 Years a Slave: Edwin Epps 👿👿👿👿👿👿

Sadistic slave owner and r*pist, about as evil as it gets (and yes I put an extra 👿).

Frank: Frank 👍

The Counselor: Counselor? 👿👿

Don't remember to much but he's fairly vanilla, although he is helping out a drug cartel so...

Poor Frank has done no wrong, just wants to make music and wear mask. Also he's definitely being used by his poser friends.

Slow West: Silas Selleck 👿

Starts out tricking the main character so he can find a bounty but has a change of heart.

Macbeth: Macbeth 👿👿👿👿

M*rders the king in his sleep so he can become king, orders Banquo and his son killed (although the son does escape) and burns MacDuff's wife and children at the stake. One evil dude.

Steve Jobs: Steve Jobs 👿👿

Greedy businessman, neglectful father, stole credit from his friend & business partner and also just kinda full of himself.

The Light Between Oceans: Tom Sherbourne 👿

I know he and his wife were heartbroken after their miscarriages but he does technically kidnap a child, keeping her from her grieving mother. He does eventually turn himself in.

Assassin's Creed: Cal/Aguilar 👿

Callum 'the pimp killer' Lynch "avatars" his assassin ancestor Aguilar. (It is about assassins after all, had to give him something).

Song to Song: Cook 👿👿

This movie was hard to follow but I'm giving him a two because he might be a groomer (he met the main character, who he later sleeps with, at 16) and he screwed Ryan Gosling's character out of the copyright to his songs.

Alien Covenant: Walter 1 👍

Don't really think Walter can be evil, he doesn't have the capacity that David does.

Next Goal Wins: Thomas Rongen 👿

Intentionally misgenders and deadnames a character because he's upset at her, later apologizes. Also a bit of a jerk to everyone at the beginning.

Black Bag: George

*coming soon*

TV 📺

A Bear Named Winnie: Lt. Coleburn 👿

He brings a baby bear to a military camp. Also leaves the bear at a zoo, letting her live out her life in a small cage instead of releasing her back to the wild when he had the chance.

William & Mary: Lukasz 👿👿👿

Jumped through the episode to watch the Fassy bits but ew... Guy m*lests the midwife that just delivered he and his girlfriend's baby.

Sherlock Holmes & The Case of the Silk Stocking: Charles Allen 👿👿👿👿👿

Even though it's two characters, I'm rating them the same. One's a child m*lester and murder and one knew about it and did nothing.

The Agency: Martian 👿

He is knowingly putting himself, his daughter, the cia AND his girlfriend at risk all because he can't let his relationship go? (Spoiler: he still can't and ends up going double agent to rescue her).

Here's the original video for context:

Let me know what you think!

Share any suggestions of what movie or show I should watch next.

[caffeinatedcop]

Why was he even still standing here, he could be back at his desk doing his work...but no, instead he was standing at this androids desk, trying to make small talk with it like it like it was a real person.

His train of thought had stopped as soon as his cats were mentioned, a quick flash of confusion and maybe shock spread across his face, but only for a second before his demeanor went back to agitated.

"How the fuck did you know about my cats?" Was it spying on him or something?

He waited until Connor and Hank had returned and settled back in, before going up to and leaning against Connor's desk, arms crossed over his chest...he looked...like he was deep in thought for several awkward minutes, before finally glaring down at the android and uttering a single "Hi" thru gritted teeth.

@caffeinatedcop

Connor hadn't really been paying attention. After having a bit of an emotional moment with Hank, he just wanted to dive back into work. So at the time, he was interfaced with the terminal on his desk, going over their case load.

As soon as he registered the greeting in his voice recognition software, his LED turned red and he looked up at Detective Reed; caught off guard and looking genuinely startled. His expression turned anxious and somewhat confused.

"H-Hello, Detective... Can I- Is there something you needed?" he asked, trying to put his mask of professional calm back up.

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟I Hate Ally Now🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 15 “Weight Off Your Shoulders”

Okay, so last episode was... yeah.

And I really appreciate the support since that. Cause, idk, most of you thought I was having a heart attack from all the TikTok or something.

No. I'm fine.

Sorry I ignored the warnings though.

Here's the thing though. Since I started watching the show, not hearing any names, I heard the general consensus being that the Final 6-7 of All Stars was a horrible one, and one of the worst Final 6's in the entire show, Total Drama included.

NOT TRUE.

At least in my opinion. I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS.

Riya and Jake are my two favorite characters in not only the season, but of the whole show. That has not changed at all. They're awesome. They make the season for me.

Even though Grett was a bit flanderized, she's still really likeable. I still like her. She's also winning be back over slowly.

And Aiden, Alec, and Connor, I like them. I like all three of these guys much more than in their original seasons, actually. Not my favorites, but I still like them and find them interesting.

So no, the problem is NOT that 'everyone in this final group is terrible'.

The problem is that there's ONE character in it that is so horribly written and horrendously unlikeable and inconsistent that she is single handedly dragging everything down.

When she's NOT on screen, I'm actually having a really good time.

When she's on screen, my heart drops and I groan, and I'm just waiting to cut away from her so we can get back to actually good characters.

"Oh really Golden? You think it's fair to blame only ONE character?"

YES. IN THIS INSTANCE.

Disagree with me, that's fine. But that is my stance right now.

Sorry to the Ally stans, but uh... I'm not sorry for my opinion.

And I guarantee you that this episode will NOT be as bad as the last one. So I'm gonna prove that right now.

"Ally, realizing she needs to play a little dirty,"

By little, you mean A TRUCKLOAD OF DIRT?!??!

"Oh yeah, and Connor cried."

XD

THE LACK OF CARE.

That was the one of only two good things about last episode. That, and Grett and Gabby being wholesome together.

#JUSTICEFORGABBY

HASHTAG JUSTICE FOR OLIVER GETTING SHOVED OUT OF A PLANE.

*Gets Robin Retirement Ad*

WHY IS THE EPISODE TELLING ME TO RETIRE?!?!?

OH GODDAMMIT WE'RE STARTING WITH ALLYSON!!!!

Maybe that's why they're telling me to retire XD

I have given this woman so many chances. I am not one to jump to conclusions about a character. I'm one to give the benefit of the doubt first. Which I have done this whole time.

And I'm doing it again. APOLOGIZE FOR THE BEAR.

Or at least show an OUNCE of remorse for it.

"Pilates! You guys want to join?"

THAT'S YOGA.

THAT'S THE TRIANGLE POSE.

I've played Wii Fit to know that.

GET IT RIGHT.

Also "HEY DUDE WHO I LEFT FOR DEAD AND HAVE EXPRESSED MULTIPLE TIMES THAT I LOATHE YOUR GUTS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO YOGA WITH ME???" 😄

THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS.

"Back home, I'm always in front of a monitor. Can't believe I've spent a month... literally touching grass!"

That's both depressingly real and really concerning.

How do you know yoga then?

Do you also know the Wii??

Doesn't change my opinion on you, but that'd be pretty based.

"Uh, no thanks. Aiden and I just went for a stroll."

Wow, he's actually being nice about it.

The improvement is off the charts.

"Poor guy."

"Wow, where was this empathy when you left me for bear food?"

Okay, thank you. Bringing that up.

Cause that was beyond fucked up.

"Can this not be about you for once?"

*FLABBERGASTED*

WHAT THE FUCK, LADY?!?!?!

"I don't like that you LEFT ME TO DIE."😠

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A SELFISH BRAT!!" 🙄

LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

THAT'S THE WORST RESPONSE YOU COULD'VE GIVEN!

EVEN A SHIT EXCUSE WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER!

"I was getting help!" or "I wasn't thinking straight!" or "I'M SORRY."

EVEN IF IT WOULD BE INSINCERE, IT'S BETTER THAN THIS.

"Yeah Jake, getting left for dead is YOUR FAULT. And you're SELFISH for being upset that I did that to you!"

Asshole. Actual asshole.

AND YOU WONDER WHY NO ONE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU?!

Riya has more remorse for her actions than you do.

"With Jake and Ally not getting along and Connor being in the state he is, it might be time to look out for myself."

It's almost like you shouldn't have come out about the kiss.

Hey Riya, thank god, I need to be away from the other girl.

What are you doing to that coconut?

"For my next showing, I will SLICE the coconuts of the island AND DRINK IT ALL!! NO MERCY FOR THE COCONUTS!!"

NO RIYA THEN THEY'LL ALL BE EXTINCT! THAT'S... well I hate coconuts so that's not that bad... uh...

NO RIYA THINK OF THE COCONUTS!!

"Why is this so hard?"

Honey. It's a coconut.

"Oh Alec, I need a big strong man to open this coconut!"

XD

The flirt XD

She really cares for her relationship with Alec, huh?

"Pay attention to ME."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Oh yeah, he feels bad...

Does he care more about him or her?

"It's about Connor?"

"What if my ex wife was right about me?"

Oh, yeah. I didn't think of that.

I mean, you DID kiss another girl on National TV. So...

"Let's stay focused, okay? Is Grett still with us?"

Oh so you're gonna ignore Alec's feelings...

I can understand though since Gabby is gone, she'd be paranoid.

"You check in on Grett while I try flipping one of the heroes to our side."

She's way ahead of him.

She's so good at this game, omg.

She foresaw this EXACT situation and thought ahead of time.

"I not only do my next showings, but I also have the schedule of the showing after that, and the showing after that, and the showing after that, and the showing after that-"

NO RIYA YOU CAN'T READ THE SCRIPT!!

"I always thought getting carried away by emotions was for weak people."

It's human, but... he's not wrong.

"But I'm starting to question if I should be ignoring these feelings."

OOOOOOOOHHHHHH

Alec learns to be more emotional and vulnerable...

"Didn't think anyone was here. I'll go."

Aw...

HEY!

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY

NO

NO

BAD RIYA

(I say as though she's not bad usually)

I mean MAYBE she thinks Alec's still willing?

Uh, does not change the fact that she's doing this to spite Connor.

"That was fun. Come catch me later, okay Alec?"

Bad Riya.

BAD RIYA.

She's a villain. You're supposed to hate her. So it's not as bad as when James did it and it was swept under the rug.

So it makes sense for her to do this, it's in line with her motives, it's not bad writing in any way, it's just really uncomfortable.

BUT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE UNCOMFTORABLE.

DISCOMFORT DOES NOT EQUAL BAD.

So... you know, poor Alec. Bad Riya. (Affectionate)

"Connor has been a thorn in my side the whole game. I need to find a way to keep his morale low so he's easier to boot."

YEP.

Makes sense to me. What did I say?

"You're working out?"

"You bet! Wanna work out?"

Why are you working out???

I understand warm ups and yoga, but working out?

You're gonna exhaust yourself before the challenge. I don't think that's a good idea when your food supply is limited.

"No thanks."

"Have you ever done a pull up?"

WHOA WHOA GIRL

SHE JUST SAID NO THANK YOU

Stop with the intrusion.

"Well if you want to give it a go-"

"I SAID NO!!"

HOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFF....

"I don't like working out in front of people."

I can understand that.

"But it's just me."

YOU'RE A PERSON.

Unless you're implying you don't count as a person. Which is hilarious.

Allyson, if she says no, she says no, please don't be so pushy.

"We're on TV in front of millions of people, and they can be... quite cruel."

AW GRETT ❤️

"Oh, I completely understand how you feel!"

OH SHUT UP!!!

"After my season, everyone would say I was a waste of a casting slot."

OH HERE WE FUCKING GO.

COMPLETELY IGNORE GRETT'S FEELINGS AND TALK ABOUT YOU.

What did you say a couple of episodes ago?

"All Jake does is talk about himself and his problems!"

WHEN YOU DO THE EXACT SAME FUCKING ASS THING!!! IF NOT MORE SO!!!

"Fuck YOUR feelings, they're so miniscule to MY feelings! What about MY feelings!! I HAVE INTERNET HATE IN MY FEED!!!!" 😭

At least for Jake, it's a FLAW, or portrayed as such. And even he knows when to lay off and focus on the other person. Example, literally last episode.

SHE SAW THIS TOO.

I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH.

"I see! People would say my appearance made them sick and vomit!"

OH MY GOD

"They'd make photoshopped pictures of me with a pig tail and nose, saying I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE. We really are the same, aren't we?!"

I'M SHOCKED.

BUT ALSO, CALL HER OUT GRETT!!!!!👏

I'm telling you, the hate comments thing SHOULD have been GRETT'S plotline. NOT Allyson's. Not only is it much more fitting, but IN A SINGLE SCENE, we have MORE context as to what those comments are and what Grett is going through THAN WE HAVE WITH ALLYSON THIS ENTIRE SEASON.

"Waste of a casting slot"

THAT'S IT?! REALLY?!?!

GRETT GETS ACTUAL VILE DEATH THREATS.

I've been waiting all this time for her to elaborate on what those hate comments are, or what she means when she says 'it'll ruin my career'. But we're FIFTEEN EPISODES IN, AND WE HAVE HAD NO ELABORATION.

It's just 'VAGUE HATE COMMENTS ARE HATEFUL.'

And you wonder why I'm not invested at all with her struggles?

"I didn't mean to put down what Grett had to go through."

OH, SO YOU FEEL REMORSE FOR THIS, BUT NOT MURDER?!

YEAH. OKAY.

WHAT A CONSISTENT CHARACTER /s

"Am I really just being dramatic?"

😒

NOW you're asking that?

Stan Grett. She destroyed her. 👑

"All I did was train and avoid carbs, and all I have to show for it are these comments saying, 'You're still not as skinny as so and so.' I'm tired of it! Why did I ever cater to those stupid online trolls?!"

👑

FUCKING LOVE GRETT.

Again, THIS IS SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

I WISH THIS WAS GRETT'S PLOTLINE, BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH MORE COMPELLING THAN HER ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YUL.

THIS IS SO GOOD!!!

And depressingly real. I've had friends who go through the same thing.

"I'm sure many of you have been wondering when it'd come in, but I've hidden an immunity totem somewhere at your camp."

😮

IDOL?!?!??!?

IDOL?!?!??!?!?!

I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE COMING BACK!!!!!

OH MY GOD IT'S ON!!!! IT'S SO ON!!!!

BRING BACK THE STEALING IDOLS RUNNING GAG!!!!!🎉

OH MY GOD THEY ENDED UP DOING YOGA TOGETHER IN THE END.

See Allyson? NO ONE HATES YOU.

Unless you deserve a callout.

"So... are we just-?"

*Books it*

XD

Yeah I would do the same thing.

Also "OH NO, HE STUBBED MY TOE! OH HE'S SO HORRIBLE!!!"

Ignore how happy you three seemed before this.

Don't you care about your game?

"We need to stay loyal to each other?"

"Loyalty is a funny thing, isn't it?"

What?

"You saw how Yul treated me. Why didn't you say anything, Alec?"

Oh.

Yeah that's justified.

"Grett, that's not fair, I did say something."

Not in front of her. She doesn't know this.

"You let him get away with treating me like trash all season, and even voted with him on his last day."

I understand being really upset about this. I do.

But don't screw your game over just because you're upset.

"You and Riya are no better than Yul."

True.

But I hate Yul, so...

"So, you left him to die?"

OH GREAT. SHE'S GONNA PRAISE IT.

"Now you're thinking like me!"

"You said to stop caring what the public thinks, right?"

AGAIN, NO REMORSE. JUST EXCUSES.

ALLY, SHE IS SO OBVIOUSLY EVIL. SHE'S PUBLIC ABOUT IT!

HER WHOLE PUBLIC IMAGE IS BEING EVIL!!!

HOW DOES THIS NOT REGISTER IN YOUR BRAIN?!?!?

"I have to say, I'm impressed, Ally."

Goddammit.

Slay Riya.

Fuck Ally.

"Should I be? Jake trusted me and I ran. Isn't that... cowardly?"

...well I got the remorse I wanted.

But it's about her BEING SCARED, NOT THAT SHE TRIED TO KILL HIM.

THAT'S VERY CONTRADICTORY. SHE LITERALLY CONFESSED SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

THAT'S NOT BEING A 'COWARD', THAT'S BEING A SOCIOPATH.

"Hell no! His fault for falling for it. You played it smart, girl."

At least it's a villain saying it. Thank god...

"Thanks Riya."

I hate you.

🫢

I FINALLY FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!

I HATE HER!!!!!!

TOOK ME FIFTEEN EPISODES!!! BUT I'M HERE NOW!!!

MY CHARACTER ARC IS COMPLETE, AND I AM AN ALLY HATER NOW!! 🎉

Why are you two looking in the water?

Is that a thing? Have idols been found in the water in Survivor?

(I don't mean 'next to', I mean ACTUALLY in the water)

"Also, why are we searching in the water?"

XD

SHARING A BRAIN CELL.

"Well, I-I was thinking, if I were an immunity totem, where would I hide?"

...

WITH THE FISHES, OBVIOUSLY.

FISHES EAT IDOLS FOR BREAKFAST.

FOOD CHAIN. COME ON.

"You made him feel better last night. Keep working your magic!"

"I don't want to do it."

"Even though Jake and I have been... okay, I still don't trust him."

Why?

"If I'm gonna start making my own moves outside the heroes, I can't have him knowing if I find the totem."

I mean... fair enough I guess?

I MEAN, IDOLS TEND TO GET STOLEN AROUND HERE.

"We need your help."

"Did you not hear me? I said I wanted to be alone."

I say this as motivation, slap him.

😂😂😂

THE FUCKING RECORD SCRATCH TOO!!!!

😂😂😂

OKAY, THAT WAS JUST FUNNY CAUSE HE INSTANTLY DID WHAT I SAID.

😂👏

ADD THAT ONE TO THE "GOLDEN PREDICTIONS" COMPILATION.

"You fought to get this far. Don't let it all be a waste."

YEAH!!!

"I just feel guilty..."

"NEVER let guilt rule your life!"

👏

OH MY GOSH YES!!!! YEESSS!!!!

OH I LOVE YOU!!!!!

"I don't know what came over me."

XD

Callout.

"An entity called Golden possessed me and told me to slap him... that was weird."

"I guess ol Ashley's teachings finally rubbed off on me!"

That's so sweet and awesome.

But don't ever do that accent again.

"I spent hours looking for this thing,"

How long as it been?

It only feels like an hour or half an hour.

OH MY GOD XD

Thank god there's no bird on that tree, they'd knock it over and STEAL THAT IDOL.

God it feels so good to make idol stealing jokes again. It's been so long.

Even though it's probably not appropriate at all. Screw it. That's become a meme throughout these reactions.

Why'd you stop climbing?

You can't reach it?

...why're you walking away?

WHY'D YOU STOP?

"I can't do it."

Oh...

At least they established it before this scene. So it makes sense.

"I know where the totem is."

...WHY are you telling YOUR ENEMIES?

"I'll let you take the totem as a sign of trust."

WHY?

They're your enemies.

You're just giving them two advantages instead of one.

Then they're just gonna use this to vote you off.

"How can we trust you?"

"It's either that or have fun fumbling around for hours."

I mean...I guess it's better than letting Alec or Riya have it.

"It's in that tree."

XD

THE SHOT.

"See that's the thing, I'll let you have it... IF YOU CAN GET IT! MWAHAHAAHAHA!!!"

"GOOD LUCK BITCHES!!!"

"Best of luck."

XD

WHEN DID GRETT GET AWESOME AGAIN?!?!

SHE CAN BE HER OWN CHARACTER AGAIN!!

THIS IS THE GRETT I KNOW AND LOVE! 👑

Oh.

"I did a bit of rock climbing back in my day."

"BACK IN MY DAY, ROCKS AND TREES WERE THE SAME!"

Okay the rock music backing him up 🎸

YAAAAAYY!!!!

"Someone order a cheeseburger with a side of... totem?"

Grett comes over and snatches it from him XD

"I found it first! YOINK!!!"

IDOL STEALING DAY!!!

"I spent all my search time flipping Ally!"

XD

"GODDAMMIT WHY DID I CHOOSE TO HANG OUT WITH THAT INSECURE NUSIENCE?!?!"

Me too Riya. Me too.

"Who would have thought at the beginning of the season that motherflipping Connor would have the idol?"

Just say motherfucking, it's okay.

AWWWWWWWWW❤️

"Jake trusting me? I never thought I'd see the day."

I KNOW.

Oh.

I thought we were done with her.

"I told you to never call this number again."

No you didn't.

"Oh Trevor, I thought you were my dealer."

Oh okay.

"Turns out, jobs are hard to come by when your boss fires you on national television."

You didn't think that through, did you?

"Krystal always takes what she wants, like the snake she is."

AYO DON'T DISS KRYSTAL LIKE THAT.

SHE'S JUST PRIVILEGED. THAT'S ALL.

Also, I'm sorry, but she was your boss, and you were legitimately breaking rules. GETTING FIRED IS YOUR FAULT.

"Like she took Derek..."

GET OVER IT.

DEREK IS NOT INTO YOU THAT WAY!!

TAKE A HINT!

"What do you say, Trevor, to a little... payback?"

...

Say it with me: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS PLOTLINE!!! I'M SORRY!! I DON'T!!

"Today's challenge will test your endurance as well as your honesty."

Op. Welp. Riya's losing XD

"DAMMIT! MY WEAKNESS!!!"

"Unless you want the prize money to be fifty cents we're done with VR."

Awww :(

Okay, I get it...

This is ALREADY LEAGUES of a better challenge than last time.

I actually like the sound of this one.

"However, if the person you asked tells the truth, you will receive the heavy weight instead."

Oh, okay.

So it's a risk.

So just don't lie.

And ask really offensive questions.

"So, who do you think's dropping out first?"

Riya.

I SAY THAT AS A RIYA STAN.

"Grett, what's your favorite food?"

Oh come on. Ask something more brutal.

"Tomato quinoa salad with low fat dressing."

...alright.

*LIE*

WHAT?!

WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT THAT?! THAT'S THE EASIEST THING TO ANSWER!!!

GRETT. COME ON!!!

"I hate this show."

Hate watchers nitpicking be like ^

"Aiden, who do you prefer? Jake or Ally?"

Easy.

"Who do I prefer? What the hell does that even mean?"

"Just answer the question."

No, clarify. What do you mean by that?

She could mean "Prefer to PUNCH IN THE FACE" for all you know!

"I... prefer Jake."

The right answer.

*TRUTH*

NICE!!

"Aiden chose Jake over me!"

OH QUIT YOUR CRYING. READ THE ROOM.

"How am I less liked than Jake?!"

"Wow, where was this empathy when you left me for bear food?"

Okay, thank you. Bringing that up.

Cause that was beyond fucked up.

"Can this not be about you for once?"

I HAVE NO IDEA. IT'S A TOTAL MYSTERY /s

NO WAIT I JUST REALIZED WHY ALLYSON IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER!

SHE'S JUST DIET JAKE! HER PERSONALITY WAS CHANGED TO BE DIET JAKE!

WHINY, IMPULSIVE, PETTY, CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS, HOLDING GRUDGES WITH PEOPLE, AND GULLIBLE TO A SIN.

She's just Jake, but with NONE of the sympathetic backstory, NONE of the good reasoning for why they'd realistically fall for deception, NONE of the actual valid reasons to hate certain people, NONE of the character development, NONE of the emotional depth and remorse for her poor actions, NONE of the moments where she sheds actual positive traits (unless you count being a quirky gamer as a positive trait), AND ALL THESE TRAITS BEING DIALED UP TO ELEVEN.

And like.... ACTUAL Jake is right there. I get wanting a flawed character, but make them consistent and make it make sense, especially when you have an actual well written flawed character in the same room.

This is basically exactly who all the hardcore Jake haters SAY Jake is. (And I've gotten comments of such and seen the comments. One of the first things I knew about the show before I watched it was that everyone hated Jake.)

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER CHARACTER IN SEASON TWO? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

"Alec, did you ever love your son?"

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH THAT'S A BRUTAL ONE!!!!

"Of course I love my son!"

*LIE*

🫢

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO.....

(under my desk)

....hohohohohoho....

I mean... no one's surprised.

STILL.

"I choose Jake. Do you ever feel like you're using people to trauma dump?"

Um... DUH?

This isn't as brutal as you think it is.

But it's still very clearly spiteful of you.

"I... do."

*TRUTH*

That's not very hard to answer.

Everyone does it!

YOU do it too, Allyson!

Don't act like this is a negative.

WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED?!

"Listen, I'm an open book now, Ally. You can't get in my head!"

Okay Jake's winning this.

He's one of the most brutally honest people here.

This challenge was MADE for him!

"Aiden, after getting rejected from Season 1, did you dye your hair black and white to appeal to the casting directors?"

Didn't he already confess this in Season 2?

"Oh... course not."

*LIE*

BUDDY.

YOU'VE ALREADY CONFESSED THIS.

I'm very surprised Aiden didn't just get crushed and die.

"Alec, at the start of the season, when you were helping me move on from Riya, was all that genuine?"

Ooooooohhh. Good one.

"Yes!"

*TRUTH*

OH MY GOD.

I kinda knew it, but OH MY GOD.

"Oh thank god! Thought this thing was broken."

XD

"Riya, are you really proud of being called the villain of TV?"

OF COURSE SHE IS.

"For my next showing, I have ALL the truths to give on how PROUD of my role I am! I made them in the little form called truth bombs! Have one! I'm giving them out!"

NO RIYA THEY'RE EXPLOSIVE!!

"You better believe it!"

*TRUTH*

Surprising no one.

Knew it.

Sorry bud.

"Ally, did you agree to date Hunter only because that would make you look better to fans?"

I mean... I'd believe Season 3 Allyson doing that tbh.

"Fuck off Jake! No!"

*TRUTH*

Fair enough.

"Jake is a piece of garbage!"

YOU'RE A PIECE OF GARBAGE!

DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK A DIRTY QUESTION TOWARDS HIM A COUPLE MINUTES AGO?!?!?

THAT'S THE GAME, ALLYSON!!!!

READ THE FUCKING ROOM!!!

"Wow, that might be the most heated on yet."

I think the one about Alec not loving his son was far more heated than that one.

But that's just my opinion.

So, by Allyson's logic, Grett is a piece of garbage because she asked if Alec loved his son. Alec is a piece of garbage because he asked Aiden about his appearance.

We can do this all day.

"Jake, did you only befriend Aiden for kicking his boyfriend out?"

Oof.

"RIYA IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

"Maybe at first I did, but I guess I'm genuinely starting to appreciate him."

*TRUTH*

AWWWWWW ❤️

I love it!

"Connor, so do you still have feelings for Riya?"

Oh shit.

"GRETT IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

"Never in million years!"

*LIE*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

OH SHIT.

I kinda knew it though...

How much do these weigh? I'm curious.

If they said it, I don't remember it.

"At this point, a lot of you should be hurting."

MEANWHILE CONNOR IS DYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS FINE.

"We might be seeing rapid dropouts."

😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

*CRYING OF LAUGHTER*

RIGHT AFTER SHE SAID THAT-

😂😂😂

THAT WAS-

😂

THAT WAS SO OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I NEED A MINUTE!!!

I'M SO SORRY.

THAT WAS FUNNIER THAN THAT HAD ANY RIGHT TO BE.

"We should be seeing rapid dropo-"

*Drops DEAD*

"-well shit I'm a jinx."

DCAS Episode 15 is a great tragedy where seven lost their lives to the rapid dropouts.

"Riya, were you really trying to relate to me, or did you just want my extra vote?"

Oh there you go.

"Ally, I've been where you are."

*TRUTH*

OH.

SHE DIDN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION THOUGH.

THAT'S STILL INTERESTING. SHE ACTUALLY DOES RELATE TO HER... SHIT...

OH THAT SAYS A LOT AS TO WHY SHE CHOSE HER.

"I am so good at this game!"

Yes you are.

"My acting has gotten so great, I can fool lie detectors now."

...

I think you're lying to yourself.

I don't believe you could do that.

YEAH. NO.

THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR RIYA TO DO.

SO UNLESS IT'S BROKEN, IT DETECTED THAT SHE GENUINELY DOES RELATE TO ALLYSON.

SO RIYA IS LYING TO HERSELF, BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT TO CONFESS HER VULNERABILITY, UNLESS IT'S CONVENIENT.

That's what's going on here. NOT that she successfully fooled the lie detector.

Writers, I see what you did here if this was intentional. Very clever.

"I honestly deserve ten more Emmys for that."

XD

But the fact that she's so egotistical that she thinks she actually did this. Quite funny.

"When I took you out on that first date, after your success, did you consider leaving Hollywood for me?"

"Why-ever would you think that? I'm the wood in Hollywood."

OH GOD...

SHE'S ACTUALLY STUMBLED THERE.

"As if! I'd never choose you over my career, asshole."

*LIE*

YO.

I WAS RIGHT.

HOLY SHIT...

All she really wants in the end is to be loved...

Also "CONNOR IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

NOOOOOO QUEEEN!!!!!!!!

Told you she'd be early though. But she lasted longer than I thought.

"He's a threat! He knows too much about me! I want him gone tonight!!"

But in the end of it all, she can't allow herself to be vulnerable. She thinks she'll lose everything.

"Grett, where're you feeling it?"

"KRYSTAL IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

"Those are a hundred twenty pounds you're holding up."

WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT!!!!

HANG ON. MATH.

...

NO SHE ACTUALLY DOES ONLY HAVE ONE. THAT'S NOT AN ANIMATION ERROR.

HOLY SHIT, THAT'S INSANE THAT THEY'RE THAT HEAVY.

I'm a weak bastard. I would've dropped first one!

"I've never been able to hold up so much!"

Awwwwww look at you girlie!👏

Strong queen! 👑

Okay Connor just gave up.

"Grett, when you broke up with Yul, was that... hard for you?"

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

THE IDEA THAT DITCHING YUL TO A CURB WOULD BE DIFFICULT.

"No."

*LIE*

IT'S BROKEN!!!!!!

HER LIE DETECTOR HELMET THINGY IS BROKEN!!!!!!

OH SHE'S STILL GOT IT THOUGH!

"Jake, do you feel like you deserve Tom's affection even if he's not giving it to you?"

"GRETT IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

HOLY SHIT THAT ONE'S JUST AS BAD AS THE HUNTER ONE.

Ayo why is nobody calling out Grett though??? She's so clearly a piece of garbage for this /s

"I... I do."

*TRUTH*

Daaaaaaaawwww 💔

"So it's all down to us. Me and the biggest dick on the field."

Well yeah, cause you're a woman so you don't have a dick.

XD

I'M SO SORRY!!!! I'M SO SORRY FOR THAT!!!!!

GOSH I'M GONNA GET CANCELLED FOR THAT JOKE, AREN'T I?!

"Seriously, how can someone like him over me?!"

ARE YOU DEAF?!

READ THE FUCKING ROOM!! EVERYONE IS DOING IT!!

YOU'RE DOING IT!!

SHUT UP!!!

I hope Jake wins. That would be awesome.

"Jake, if Ashley were here, do you think she'd be proud of how you're acting?"

...

"ALLY IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE!!!!"

Oh, so YOU can ask very invasive questions about someone's relationships for the sake of the game. BUT HE CAN'T?!?!

YOU DAMN HYPOCRITE.

"I do!"

*pause*

Come on.

COME ON.

*TRUTH*

YEEEEESSSS!!!!!

"What?!"

GET FUCKED!!!!

FALL!!! FALL!!! FALL!!! FALL!!!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!! 👏

(Also what is this in the corner of this shot? Anyone else see that?)

"With that, Jake wins immunity!"

OH THE SMILE ON MY FACE!!!!

YEEEEEEESSSS JAKE!!!! 👏🎉

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!

OH IT'S SO SWEET!!!!! AWWWW!!!!

THIS IS THE GOOD ENDING, HONESTLY.

Op, XD

🎵"Our friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond"🎵

🎵"But not because we're gay!" "No not because we're gay!"🎵

🎵"We're close but not that way. The only man that I love is my dad!"🎵

"I guess Lake was right. Everyone really does deserve a second chance."

Yes. They do.

"Golden, you didn't give Ally a chance."

I GAVE HER FIFTEEN CHANCES.

You gotta give up at some point, alright?

"Are you officially switching sides?"

"I don't know. Now that Jake won immunity, what's the point?"

I already know her answer.

She's fucking STUPID.

One, THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY EVIL.

But even ignoring that, SHE'S NOT EVEN DOING THIS FOR HER GAME! SHE'S DOING THIS SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE SHE HATES JAKE SO MUCH, FUCK THE GAME!

You know, going completely off of your own personal biases and emotions and hatred towards somebody was portrayed as a NEGATIVE in Jake's case.

But for her, it's actually gonna work!

Again, NO CONSEQUENCES. DOESN'T MAKE ME LIKE HER AT ALL.

Switching is a TERRIBLE idea. Riya, Alec, and Grett are three VERY strong competitors and have proven such all game. And Allyson is just a liability. An outsider. They will ABSOLUTELY dump her when it's convenient and they don't need her anymore.

Compare that to the non-villain's strongest member being Connor. Aside from that, Jake and Aiden are really not much of threats at all. Jake only won immunity because that challenge appealed to his character.

Even JAKE knew that Alec was full of shit when he tried to recruit him in the alliance. IMMEDIATELY saw through it and said no.

I THINK THE SHOW HAS IT MIXED UP ON WHO 'THE NAIVE ONE' IS.

"It'll hurt Jake regardless."

"I'll think about it."

Yeah.

The ONLY thing she cares about is "How do I hurt Jake?"

THAT'S ALL SHE CARES ABOUT.

Idk, it sounds like a mindset a bully would have.

"You're fishing right now?"

"Gives me a moment of peace."

"So that I can make the fish rest in peace instead."

"Boy, this place sure is quiet without Yul and Gabby, huh?"

DO NOT PUT THOSE TWO ON THE SAME FOOTING!!

THE DISRESPECT!

"I never had feelings for Riya."

"So then why did you kiss her? What? Just your unbelievable rizz?!"

"These last couple years, I haven't been with anyone. You saw the lie detector. We were drunk and I made a mistake. When I voted you out-"

"Oh yeah, it was 'for my own good'."

Yeah... makes sense to me.

He's lonely. He's desolate.

Desolate people crave attention far hungrier than those who aren't.

"Alec, when people have problems, they talk it out like adults."

Wish that was true. But it depends on the person if they can understand that.

"It's all I know, okay?! I drove Cheryll away because every fucking time we argue I walk away. I act like things don't bother me, Connor, but inside... I'm terrified of confrontation. It's who I'll always be..."

Alec.

I am SO SORRY I dismissed you in Season One.

You are actually GREAT.

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH, OH MY GOD...

This was really the puzzle piece I needed to properly understand him.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"But I do!"

OH MY GOD-

*RIYA JUMPSCARE*

GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!??!

"SAVING THE FISHES!!! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING!?!?! HE WILL HURT NO FISH ANY LONGER!!!!"

"Riya, what the hell?!"

"Why are you talking to the enemy?!"

"He's not my enemy!"

I get it from a character standpoint.

BUT OH MY GOD. YOU'RE GONNA LOSE ALEC.

"Awwww, enjoying your bath?"

"I have salts if you want them. Fish flavored."

"So this is how you treat me, after everything?"

"You're pathetic. I never needed you, Connor."

...

I feel like I shouldn't be here and I walked in on something.

"Just know this, Riya. I'm not here for you anymore. I'm here for me."

👏

THERE YOU GO, CONNOR!!!!

"May the best man win."

"Um, I'm a woman. Fuck you."

"Ugh, the best WOMAN will win."

XD

I feel like I'm responsible for her shit sometimes.

"Someone like Riya cannot be allowed to win this game."

Yeah, well, watch her actually win.

I know she won't. But you know. It's one of my dream realities.

She wins, but she loses everything else because everybody hates her. The money rings hollow. She realizes what she actually wanted all along too late. And now she's stuck in an endless loop of evil behavior forever because it's all she'll ever know to succeed with.

I think the theme in this season is "Working towards being the best version of yourself."

You see this with Jake, Aiden, Connor, Grett, and Alec. All these guys have arcs where they're going through inner struggles and either trying to be the best version of themself they want to be, or they're realizing they want to be a better version of themself than they already are because they are capable of it. Giving in to your negatives (not the same as trying to erase them) is what will drive you to a sad, miserable life, where you're stuck in the endless loop of making the same mistakes over and over again. But that's not what any of them want to be.

The money? Who cares? It rings hollow because it's not gonna buy your heart or a healthier life. YOU have to do that. The money is BAIT.

You can also see this with Gabby, Tom, and Ellie.

But Riya? SHE'S THE ANTI-THEME.

She REFUSES to acknowledge her positives, as to her, that is a WEAKNESS. It's a detriment. She's been raised, and trained by the show, to believe that winning the game, and the money, is EVERYTHING, and WILL solve all her problems. When in actuality, that drive only blinds her to what she actually wants all along, which is companionship and to belong somewhere where she can be herself. But she feels like she can't because "The industry wants her to be evil." So she does whatever evil thing she can to pursue her game.

In doing that, she ignores any lesson she could learn, and she chooses to remain in the endless loop of fucking up every single relationship she forms for the sake of winning the money and the game and maintaining her status as "The Villain Of TV."

And that's the very thing that will be her downfall. That's WHY while I wouldn't mind her losing, her winning the money makes way too much sense to me as THE most logical conclusion to her arc. The ULTIMATE consequence to her actions that ruins her life... is obtaining the very thing she sought out to get.

She's not just going everything wrong. SHE IS EVERYTHING WRONG.

I think that's really cool. That's also a reason WHY I love her character. And love THIS. She is SO compelling and interesting to me.

"I'm sorry about earlier-"

"Water under the bridge."

MURDER is okay.

Being pushy when you're oblivious is not.

"What if I told you, I'm not comfortable moving forward with them?"

Oh?

"The lines are getting faded, Ally. There are no heroes and villains anymore. Just winners and losers."

I mean, fair, if you want to be the secret force that controls this game.

Go for the more powerful people, then. Turn on Riya and Alec. Or Connor. He's a strong one.

"I'll vote the way you want tonight as long as you repay the favor down the line."

So...

Two. Two. THREE.

YOU STILL GIVE THE NON-VILLAINS THE MAJORITY.

"I'm starting to feel like myself again!"

YAY GRETT!!!!

"Never thought I'd write your name down, but hopefully this is the night you regret everything."

"Keep hoping. I'll turn it to despair."

This is gonna be all over the place.

"If you have the immunity totem and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so."

You might want to.

Dammit.

'RIYA'

AH FUCK! XD

I SAY AS THOUGH I DIDN'T SEE.

OH I'M ABOUT TO GET CRUSHED.

'AIDEN'

WHAT?!??!

SHE CHOSE AIDEN?!?!?!

Why AIDEN? Why not CONNOR? He's the bigger threat of the three.

Fuck you Allyson, going off your emotions instead of playing the game.

'RIYA'

'AIDEN'

FUCK. ME.

Two other random votes, probably Connor, and then one Riya.

'RIYA'

Wait, so...

Who did Riya and Alec vote then? Does it matter?

'AIDEN'

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!??!!?

FUCK.

YOU.

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO I'M SAYING THAT TO.

I'M SO MAD AT HER.

I SAW IT COMING AND I'M SOMEHOW STILL PISSED THE FUCK OFF AT HER.

"The lines are getting faded, there are no heroes and villains anymore" MY ASS.

JOINS THE VILLAINS.

AT LEAST GRETT IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO PLAY THE GAME.

ALLYSON?!??! SHE ONLY DID THIS BECAUSE AIDEN DIDN'T LIKE THAT SHE LEFT A GUY TO DIE.

THIS IS NOT STRATEGIC. THIS IS PETTY.

AND SHE COMPLETELY GETS AWAY WITH IT, THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY PISSING ME OFF HERE.

"WHO FLIPPED?!?!?"

"ALLY!!!"

YEAH THEY KNOW!!!! THEY KNOW!!!! INSTANTLY!!!!

"I had to do what's best for me."

HOW IS THIS 'BEST' FOR YOU?!?!

YOU PUT YOURSELF IN A VERY TERRIBLE POSITION!!!

YOU MADE ONE SIDE HATE YOU, AND JOINED ANOTHER SIDE PUBLICALLY KNOWN FOR BEING STRONG AND DECEPTIVE, AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!

THIS IS 'WORST' FOR YOU, ACTUALLY.

YOUR MOVE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

"HOW IS THIS GOOD FOR ANY OF US?!"

THANK YOU!!!!

IT'S GOOD FOR NOBODY!!!!

"Judge me all you want."

GLADLY.

YOU FUCKING SUCK AND I HATE YOU.

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE NICE ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

I'M DONE. WE'RE OVER THAT.

"Wait, did Aiden have the totem? Did we flush it?"

XD

THAT'S ALL SHE CARES ABOUT XD

"BUT THE IDOL! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STEAL IT?!?"

"UP. YOURS. RIYA!!!"

(I HAD to make that line big)

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF

THAT was good. XD

Oh that was deserved.

"I'm so sorry Aiden!"

"Hey, it's neither of you guys fault."

Yeah, WE KNOW WHO THAT IS.

"Thanks for not turning on me."

THE JAB.

"I know we haven't exactly been best friends this game, but-"

"Stop. I'm not in the mood for a mushy goodbye."

Awwww

"Where's the Jake I know? The toxic jealous one?"

XD

👏

OH THAT'S GOOD.

"TOXIC?! JEALOUS?! Oh screw you!"

"There he is!"

XD

Oh my heart ❤️

It's so cute

YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! 👏��

OH THAT'S SO SATISFYING!!!!!

AFTER EVERYTHING, THEY'RE BESTIES IN THE END!! I LOVE IT!!!!

"I wanted Connor gone, but Ally only agreed to work with us if she got to choose who goes."

YEAH.

"Ally just so happened to pick the same thing Riya and Alec did, she's not working with them" MY ASS. THEY LITERALLY SAY IT.

"Jake is lucky he had immunity. Tonight would've been his night."

SHUT THE FUCK UP LADY. NO ONE LIKES YOU!!

"Ally is not going off of her own personal biases and hatred towards Jake. She's doing this for game reasons." MY ASS. SHE LITERALLY SAYS IT.

I JUST WANT THIS GIRL TO SHUT UP NOW.

...oh?

OH GRETT. AWWWWWW

OH THE BRANCH.

"This is stupid..."

NO DON'T GO AWAY, DO IT!!!

COME ON! DO IT!!!

YEEEESSSS!!!! GRETT!!!!! ❤️

🥹

XD

YEAH! FUCK THE WORLD!!!!

🥹❤️

THAT was BEAUTIFUL.

Grett, I love you again. SO MUCH.

MY QUEEN IS BACK!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!

Again, there is REALLY GOOD STUFF HERE.

5/6 of this group are REALLY GOOD AND INTERESTING AND COMPELLING.

JUST IGNORE THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Just take what I said at the beginning.

Riya and Jake are my two favorite characters in not only the season, but of the whole show. That has not changed at all. They're awesome. They make the season for me.

Even though Grett was a bit flanderized, she's still really likeable. I still like her. She's also winning be back over slowly.

And Aiden, Alec, and Connor, I like them. I like all three of these guys much more than in their original seasons, actually. Not my favorites, but I still like them and find them interesting.

So no, the problem is NOT that 'everyone in this final group is terrible'.

The problem is that there's ONE character in it that is so horribly written and horrendously unlikeable and inconsistent that she is single handedly dragging everything down.

When she's NOT on screen, I'm actually having a really good time.

When she's on screen, my heart drops and I groan, and I'm just waiting to cut away from her so we can get back to actually good characters.

GOD I HATE HOW ALLYSON AMBER IS WRITTEN.

AND THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS WHY, IT'S INSANE.

If you guys want, I can make a full essay post on WHY Ally is the worst character of Disventure Camp All Stars.

Think of it like this: I hate Yul MORE.

BUT, at the very least, Yul is SUPPOSED to be hated.

ALLY IS NOT.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR HER.

So, though Yul is still my LEAST FAVORITE character in Disventure Camp. OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING,

All Stars Ally is worse.

YEAH. THAT'S HOW BAD I THINK IT IS.

She's not even the FUN kind to hate. She's just MISERABLE.

And NO, I will NOT take this back. I've given her so many chances, so many benefits of the doubt, I waited SO LONG for her to win be over.

But no. I've given her so many chances, and she has BLOWN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

I'M DONE.

I AM DONE HEARING THIS OUT. IT'S BAD.

I DO NOT CARE what comes after this with her. I'm sure it's important, but it will NOT change my opinion on her.

She could be the best character ever after this, and I won't care because it will NOT undo any of THIS.

Even if they fully elaborate what exactly Ally's hate comments are, or reveal it as something extremely horrible, or give her any other depressing sympathetic backstory, or completely rewrite her character to just be her Season 2 self, or even get over her hatred towards Jake,

I DON'T CARE. IT'S TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE REVEALED IT SOONER. BECAUSE NOW I DON'T CARE.

But when she's NOT on screen, THIS IS GREAT. I'm enjoying everything else here.

Alec and Connor are significantly more interesting and compelling than they were in their seasons to me.

Grett is FINALLY regaining everything I loved about her character in Season 1, and you know what? This might actually be HER BEST EPISODE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES.

And Jake and Riya, you already know how I feel about them. I LOVE THEM. THEY MAKE THE SEASON FOR ME.

If my predictions, which were already proven wrong, were about my own personal biases, Jake and Riya would be my Final Two pick. FOR SURE. There's no if whats or buts about that.

But I'm not dumb enough to actually predict that just off of 'I like their characters the best so I want it'.

...okay I kind of am.

Yeah... I don't know what to say. THIS IS SO FAR NOT THAT BAD. I got told that Episode 14 onward is back to back garbage episodes. I'M SO FAR NOT ON THAT BOAT.

Which is kinda shocking since I hated Episode 14.

THIS IS NOT THAT BAD. IT'S JUST ONE ELEMENT THAT IS THAT BAD.

***

Okay, so uh, I usually not react to the Patreon shoutouts. I just skip them. But I got a request to watch this one, so... let me just see what you want me to see so bad.

Right now it's just a Galaxy Ultra Phone Ad.

The lip sync is a bit off.

"'WD Broskay', good luck on your next Iron Man."

Okay?

"'Riya is a parasite. Move on Connor.'"

XD

That person I'm assuming is a Riya hater.

Respect though.

"'We need a villain winner'... alright..."

XD

THAT'S ME.

Not actually me, BUT THAT'S ME.

"'Keith is eloping with Tom'."

AYO

JAKE'S NOT GONNA BE HAPPY.

"'Ally's Only Fans'"

Respect your opinion. But not me.

"Somebody should probably tell Hunter."

Hunter I'm so sorry.

"'James be my sugar daddy'... back off he's mine."

XD

AIDEN, YOOOOOOOOOOO

What, is THAT what you guys wanted to show me? This?

"'Yul has a micro penis'."

😂👏

Okay no, THAT was what you wanted to show me!

THE CALLOUT!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!

I love that I now know there's people who hate Yul as much as I do XD

"'I'm gonna kidnap Tom.'"

WHAT ARE THESE NAMES?!?!?

"'Poison Ivy' I'm more of a Harley Quinn fan myself."

Ooh, something new we know about Aiden. He's a DC guy.

THE OTHER DC.

"'Don from Pokemon BITCH'"

Aggressive.

"'Connor is a flop, move on Riya.'"

XD

WE GOT THE OPPOSITE GOING ON HERE!!

Well which is it?

They both need to move on if you ask me.

"'Yul's secret side chick' hey, bestie, move on."

ME TOO AIDEN.

I'M CONCERNED FOR THAT PERSON.

"'Yul shut the fuck up and admit you're dating Kai'."

NO

NOOO

NOOOOOOO

NO HE'S NOT!!

"Hey that's mean. Kai's too good to date that asshole."

XD

Why is Aiden so savage in this?

"'Skibidi sigma dub wat wiz'... I feel so incredibly sorry for your generation."

😂

THAT'S GOING IN MY FOLDER. I'M SAVING THAT ONE.

THAT IS HOW I FEEL. I FEEL SO SORRY FOR THIS GENERATION.

"'Aiden's GF' Awkward..."

Hey you can be poly.

"And for those happy that I'm finally out of the game, congratulations, your prediction finally came true after twelve episodes."

OKAY. THAT'S BASED.

ROASTING THE AIDEN HATERS. LOVE IT.

I am NOT an Aiden hater. Idk where any of you get that from. I made a tier list when I finished Season 2. I LIKE HIM. He's not my favorite or anything, BUT I LIKE HIM.

Okay I see why you wanted me to watch that just to see that. Do not expect me to go through all these segments though, unless there's something you really REALLY think I should see.

[dotts-inkings]

Stitches don't heal AU overview - minus final arc ideas @maskedbutsilly :3

Before

So it starts like a decade post-apocalypse. Lorelai is the head of a settlement of people (definitely not lmanburg mhm mhm) and doing pretty well at it actually. People are happy. Connor at this time is travelling with Schlatt I mean Jay, and they two are in the business of inflitrating and taking down settlements n ramshackle cities for hire and for fun. They go in build trust then tear the settlement down for profit.

So Connor and Jay find themselves outside Lor's place, as Jay has history with Lor and wants him dead. This spawns a split in the settlement's loyalties, as the J + C team are very charismatic n lay down lies about Lor's ability to lead, about his past that very few know, basically just fucking Lor over at every turn from the outside (as Lor banned them from being able to come in). 

Lor around this time gets bit by a zombie and, already being accused of being an all-around poor individual, gets really paranoid that his people will turn on him. He hides the bite and gets deathly ill over the course of a few weeks, all the while battling J+C, inside dissent, and his own self-worth issues (as he can't help but listen when everyone around him is questioning his worth). Towards the end, when he thinks he's about to turn, he runs into the wilderness taking only a token to remember his son by and a cloak to die in.

Connor and Jay find their way in when Lor runs, and that night, torch the whole place. 

Survival

Lor survives the bite. In the weeks after he runs, he feels the worst hes ever felt-- sick to the point where he can't walk, colder than anything even in june, and starved. He doesn't know why he didn't turn completely, but he blames it on his dad, that good-for-nothing jerk. 

But Lor doesn't come out the other end unchanged. He's nearly dead- blood flow reduced to a bare minimum, eye corneas blackened (hides with tinted glasses), temperature regulation all wack (clothing clothing clothing for days), wounds dont heal (stitches don't heal they only bind meat together), and of course his body also rejects all food except human flesh. 

He wanders for a long, long while before he meets anyone that won't kill him within the first day of knowing him.

Lor and Connor (unknowing of their history together) meet face to face for the first time in a run-down barn on the edge of some surprisingly well-maintained farmland. Connor and Jay's whole deal had gone south very quickly when Connor started getting ambitions of his own, wanting more than to be some asshole's crony and trophy husband. Connor escaped Jay and hopped from city to city, trying to make his way, until he made some of the wrong enemies and was nearly killed. He avoided people for the most part after that, only coming into contact to get goods to stay alive.

They meet when Lor stumbles upon Connor's temporary resting spot- Connor startling into waking and reflexively driving a blade across Lor's chest. This ends up with the two of them travelling together, Connor feeling guilty and Lor enchanted by Connor's failgirl vibe. Lor hides his weird zombie-ness from Connor. Connor, after learning Lor's name, hides his complicity in the destruction of Lor's home.

They wander together for a good while. Theyre like the worst little dudes youve ever seen- they can't stop aggravating each other, but are drawn to each other because the other is the only one who's been able to tolerate and even appreciate the other for their flaws. 

Lor after all this time feels apathetic about most things, callous towards the bad, and cracking jokes at the good. Connor on the other hand finds himself caring too much- he finds a stance to argue on just about any topic, and has killed when his conversation partner pisses him off too much. Lor feels deeply about the past he shares freely with Connor, how he misses his son, his friends. Connor would prefer to forget it all and bury it before his only friend finds out his secret. They pick at each other.

At some point down the line, they get into a relationship. And shortly after, Lor finally breaks the whole zombie thing to Connor-- its kind of hard not to notice when youre kissing a guy with zombie-cold lips, and Lor knows enough about normal people behavior to know thats kind of a stupid thing to hide from your partner. Connor reacts poorly, of course, but better than Lor thought. Connor doesn't attack him or run. Instead he blows up- Lor eats people??? Lor is a zombie, just like the shambling wrecks all around them, and he expects Connor to believe that Lor's not planning to kill him? Or use him to kill others? Has Lor been sneaking away to eat human the whole time theyve known each other (yeah)? They get closer together, but Lor revealed too much and Connor can't deal with the knowledge.

Death(?)

Its a tense few days later when Lor and Connor are passing through a dead city. Its overrun by hordes of zombies, who pay no mind to Lor, but seem all too happy to hunt Connor down. Theyre just doing a supply run, but it gets bad fast, and theyre overcome. They break into a locked building, shattering a window (and Connor slicing his leg open on the glass). The position isn't tenable. They know they have to find a way through the horde somehow but Connor, limping and smelling of blood, can't think of any way out. He knows Lor will make it out safely, but there's no way for Connor to survive here. Lor has an idea. 

They'd split the hordes attention. If one runs first, most of the horde would focus on that one, giving the other time to escape. The only problem is that zombies aren't attracted to Lor, he smells like death. Lor looks down at Connor's bandaged leg wound and warns that what he's about to do will probably freak Connor out, but its the only thing he can think of. He replaces Connor's makeshift bandage with his cloak, and wraps the cloth over his shoulders. 

Smelling of blood, Lor runs out the window and takes most of the horde with him. Connor follows soon after, but is caught by surprise when a small group of zombies grabs at him just outside. Slowed and weakened, he manages to fight them off, but at a cost. As he limps out of the suddenly cleared city, he finds his arm aches something fierce. Connor already knows what he'll find if he looks down at it. 

Looking back into the city from a hill on the outskirts, he sees a large shuffle of motion at its center, and wonders if Lor is still caught in the horde, if he escaped or was torn to pieces. Alone on the hill, Connor hopes Lor escaped.

[httpslvr]

more headcanons idk

connor can js like always land on his feet. but only when like falling or sliding or smth, he can and will bump into a table n fall on his face. makes for some super cool superhero moves tho

markus loves the color orange. everyone finds him weird.

NO CLUE if ive said this before (probs have sorry), but markus can go from respected leader to leo manfred’s annoying little brother (can we PLEASE get more sibling relationship w these two? maybe? idk bug ask ig) with zero transition. like, “look out! the man who js have androids rights has js put a fake bug on ur pillow!” kinda shit idk

markus LOVES to push hank’s buttons. like, dude leave the poor grandpa alone!! thats ur bf’s dad (or bf/ex idfk u can decide that one)

jericrew has fallen asleep in a pile on top of eachother more than once!!!!!!!!!!

connor n simon were super awkward around each other at first lmao. simon was terrified that connor was gonna snap n kill everyone n connor was terrified that simon was gonna snap n take random children hostage. they, QUICKLY, realized that both of these thoughts were irrational. they r now v close

connor, the two tracis u see at the eden club, n rupert r all some weird little friend group. idk where i got this thought but i did!! n it wont leave!! please help!!

sometimes markus’ replacement parts will pop out random. android doctors i forgot the word, connor, simon, n KAMSKI have all tried n figure out whats wrong w him. absolutely nothing. it js happens. it has (more than once) happened in the middle of a v important meeting, n he scared the shit out of politicians

kara uses mom emojis if that makes sense

yes, im aware that hank’s technically a millennial, but looking at his birth yr hes so close to gen x he would have some of the same.. tendencies. “connor! how do u work this thing!” is probably top five most used phrases in the anderson household

[fetishfairytales2]

Happy Birthday Sissy! Pt. 4 (Story)

Heather and Brandon are original characters created by [no longer active] in their fantastic series “Besties”, which this blog expands on. ——————————————

The party was bumping by the time our first guests showed up. Lyndsey and Kylie were gossiping like old friends by the pool, probably plotting ways to humiliate poor little Brandi. And I was busy telling Kelsey, Rachel, and Maddie the story of the first time I let Connor fuck me while Brandi was forced to watch from the foot of the bed. 

“I swear to God,” I laughed, “she was fucking crying the whole time!” The sun was shining, the drinks were flowing, and to any unsuspecting bystander, it may have seemed like a normal pool party - except for the fact that there was a grown man prancing around in a frilly pink dress and an absurd amount of penis-themed decorations. Lyndsey did great with the decor. It was all pink and dicks. It looked like she had reused old bachelorette party decorations. Such a classy sissy birthday. 

Our boyfriends were all huddled together, drinking beer and probably boasting about the amount of sex they were promised for showing up and not asking too many questions.  They didn't seem to mind their girlfriends parading around half-naked in front of Brandi. It's funny how much of a threat someone isn't when they're wearing a frilly dress and a diaper! Poor Brandi, I don't think any of these alphas were worried about losing the girlfriends today.

"Hey Connor, Shawn, come here!" I called out, waving them over. Rolling their eyes, they made their way across the back yard. Shawn was Lyndsey’s long time boyfriend. The five of us had all known each other forever. But he, just like Connor, was a victim of Brandon’s bullying in school. "Would you mind turning Brandi towards the sun for us?" I pouted, making sure to push the girls up in my bikini top and flashing a smile. “Yeah,” Lyndsey giggled from the pool, “the poor girl isn’t getting enough color today. You big strong boys should help her out! She looks a little pale!” With my helpless sissy bound at the wrists and ankles in her oversized stroller, she was powerless to stop her latest humiliation.

The two hunks lifted her, stroller and all, in the air and faced her toward the pool. The little sissy would surely suffer in her heavy lace and polyester party dress, not to mention the inevitable diaper rash. Too bad, some sissies just have bad luck! Maddie and I sat on either side of the stroller, playfully dipping our toes in the pool, and giving Brandi innocent smiles. "Hello girly!" Maddie laughed, playfully poking her on the nose. Brandi could only grunt behind the pacifier gag. "Mommy and Aunt Maddie are ready to have some fun!" 

"Aww, don't be such a downer Miss Grumpy," Lyndsey teased, splashing Brandi from the pool. "It's your first sissy birthday and you've got gorgeous women all around you. What more could you want?" I winked and nodded at my friends - God, they were the best. Maddie and I snuggled closer in the stroller while Kylie and Lyndsey leaned over the pool, giving Brandi a perfect view of their cleavage. “What a fucking loser!” Shawn laughed. “You’re fucking drooling over her tits! Dude, she’s never going to fuck you! Later, when I’m fucking her though? I’ll put my massive cock in between those tits, just for you!” Lyndsey winked up at her boyfriend; “mmm, sounds like fun!”

Connor shook his head; “He was always such an asshole. Now he’s a fucking loser. Who the hell would let this happen to him?” The water works were already starting and I wanted to be the one that made Brandi cry! “Aww,” I teased my cuckold, “did the big mean men make sissy cry? They are just having a little fun sissy, they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!” I smiled up at Connor; “thank you Daddy for helping your sweet sissy! I’ll make sure to thank you tonight.” The boys shrugged and headed back; “oh and boys? There’s three more cases of beer in the fridge, help yourself!” I winked at Lyndsey; “nice and drunk,” she mouthed quietly. I nodded and crossed my fingers.

"Oops!" giggled Kylie as she pulled her wet top down, flashing Brandi not at all subtly, "my silly bikini." She moaned like she was faking an orgasm, making us all giggle; "I'm just so wet!" I could hear muffled groans of what could only be a itsy bitsy sissy clitty trying to burst out of a spiked chastity cage. I playfully traced my nails along Brandi's exposed inner thigh, causing her to jump. "Oops!" I taunted with a smirk, sticking my tongue out. "My bad, baby. My hand slipped." 

Maddie got up and began clumsily adjusting Brandi's collar, leaving the gagged sweetheart confused. As Maddie took her time, her movements brought her closer and closer to the stroller. Much to Brandi's dismay, this meant my sister's Double Ds were pressed against her face. Maddie teasedly stuck her tongue out at me as I counted silently on my fingers. "Just a sec, girly!" she exclaimed dramatically. "I'm just trying to... it looks like something is caught. If I just..." Without a word, I started rubbing Brandi's chastity cage through her diaper while Maddie rocked back and forth, nearly motorboating the poor trapped sissy. 

"It's been three whole months," I whispered in Brandi's ear, “since you made cummies. And something tells me that’s not what you’re getting for her birthday…” As I continued to tease the birthday girl’s caged cock, Maddie leaned back and grinned at our plaything triumphantly. "Got it!" Brandi must have realized by now she was in for some unwanted birthday "surprises" from us girls. "Oh, no, no!" I chuckled as I caught her trying to squirm away. "Stay put!" I firmly slapped her face.

Lyndsey grinned as she leaned on the edge of the pool, her eyes fixed on the helpless loser in front of her. "You want to know something out Brandi?" she said, her tone playful. "While I was watching her that one time, I found out something interesting about her..." She smirked. "Oh really? Do tell, babes," I giggled, playing along with her. "Turns out, Brandi is a huge fan of ass," Lyndsey said, a wicked look in her eye. "I swear, you should have seen how big the pile of loser goo was that she made! It was when she watched that video of you getting fucked from behind by Connor." 

Maddie laughed, "I've known this pathetic loser, for years and, trust me, she’s definitely more into boobs." We all turned to look at Brandi, waiting for her answer. "Well?" I prodded, "Don't make us wait! What gets your sissy stick harder?" But Brandi could only glance between us and try to speak through the four-inch cock filling her mouth.

"Spill it, girl!" Kylie exclaimed with a giggle, turning around and glancing over her shoulder, proudly flaunting her curvy backside in a tight bikini. "Whatcha think?" she asked, pulling her bikini further up her ass. "Is it this amazing booty?" Lyndsey chimed in, giving a spank. "Don't you just wish you could make this slut get down on her knees and shake that ass for you, Brandi?" Lyndsey pulled on Kylie's hair and humped her. "Too bad you'll never get a chance to do that to a woman again," Maddie whispered in Brandi's ear, watching as she squirmed in her chastity cage. "Oh Brandon!" Kylie moaned, "you sexy stud! My ass is completely yours, don't you just love it?"

The spikes were probably hurting Brandi's cock by now because tears were rolling down her cheeks and her mascara was smudged. "Come on girls!" I chuckled. "You know the poor thing is stuck with such a tiny, pathetic penis. And Maddie is right! Brandi can't resist a good pair of tits." On cue, Maddie got up and spread out a towel. "It's really a shame," she sighed as she untied her top and laid down to tan, and tease the sissy. "All these hot girls around and all you can do is look." 

Kylie and Lyndsey followed Maddie's lead and removed their bikini tops before laying down topless for Brandi to ogle at helplessly. I quickly checked the time on my watch - only 1 hour until the other guests arrived, which meant 30 minutes to get the guys drunk enough for Brandi's special celebration. "Hey honey?" Lyndsey called out to Shawn, "would you ever let Brandi give you a blowjob?" The guys all laughed and nodded in agreement with Shawn’s drunken and slurred response; "a blowjob is a blowjob!" Lyndsey and I shared a knowing smile. Perfect...

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E8 "The Roast" thoughts:

Ok, I watched this episode three times and I'm still smiling. I love when you think and episode is gonna be about something because of its title and then surprise you when its all a misdirection (see also: Succession's "Connor's Wedding").

At first Laszlo's err… state intrigued me, love everyone projecting and imposing their own insecurities (Guillermo's secret, Nadja's hex) as a reason on why he is behaving like that. And of course it's a stupid reason 😭.

"And a flat pepsi for Guillermo". Oh Nandor, that's the worst thing you ever done to Guillermo, that's the worst thing you could do to anyone. And yes, I remember a certain S4 episode.

I screeched like a bird when Colin mentioned dreaming about being a baby under Laszlo's care, not only because I wanted this shit to happen since the past finale, but also I really thought the episode was going on that direction (and also bc its another W for my predictions).

Having said that, LOVED the nonchalance of Nadja and the others when they were like 'no, it wasn't a dream, that totally happened'.

I mentioned it in a separate post: they really had a Sweet Dee in IASIP moment when The Guide gave the roast idea, only to be ignored and then the same idea being stolen by a dude who is celebrated.

Seanie's poor brain it should be soup at this point, we don't know if he can hazily remember the event like it happened before.

What can I remember is his line after Nadja's roast because it was one of the biggest laughs for me: "Women CAN be funny!" I fucking loved it so much, it's the perfect condescending shit straight men say all the time, even when they're trying to be complementary to you they can't stop being garbage. It was a simple line but Anthony nailed the delivery and timing. Seriously, rewatch that part.

At first I was confused why all the jokes were so mid, but shortly I realized this episode wasn't about the roast at all, lol.

Just by watching screenshots of other users I noticed that in the scene of Nandor resting his head on Guillermo's shoulder there's a BIG flame between them. LMAO. There's no way that is unintentional.

Good for The Guide being the catalyst of Baron Afanas learning the truth. I was demanding more screen time for her lately, so having some incidence in the main plot goes on the plus column.

The other guests present at the roast being shocked at the knowledge of Guillermo killing vampires surprised me; I always assumed Guillermo being a familiar/slayer was a known fact in the vampire community after his very public massacre at the Théâtre des Vampires.

Fuck yeah when I realized this is a Doug Jones spotlight episode, I just fuckin ahgdjkaksdf, love him, perfect, no notes.

The Baron being terrifying!! Guillermo was seriously scared for the others and he barely tried to show off his Van Helsing abilities.

Nandor and Nadja begging the Baron to not hurt Guillermo!! 😭 Them being dragged while grabbing the cape!! 😭 They're spiritual siblings to me!! 😭😭

They really reminded me a little bro and sis begging their mom to not hit their beloved older brother with the chancla for talking back or something.

I fell for the two fake-outs with the sack lol I'm so gullible when it comes to vampires I guess.

NANDOR PAINFUL SOUNDS (MOANS???) WHEN HE BELIEVED HE WAS IN FRONT OF GUILLERMO'S INERT BODY. IT WAS SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE HORNY!!!

"At least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the toolshed."

A wonderful small detail: After Laszlo opened fake Guillermo with the knife he cleaned his hands on The Guide's dress.

Idc if you think its dark, the whole 'Nandor will kill you and then kill himself' bit becoming a recurring joke it's peak writing.

I wish I can say something more serious about Baron Afanas' sadness over how boring his life is now. But I just keep thinking that the way he talks about his homelife with The Sire and the Hellhound sounds exactly when a dude has a middle life crisis and suddenly he doesn't enjoy his marriage anymore. They're husbands!! And I loved how cunty he looked at the end all half-charred (see posted gif) Queen!

Now, the Nandermo of it all: What more can I say than incoherent screaming and foaming from the mouth? Episodes 8 are all about them again!! Nandor on the window looking all cliched melancholic heroine of a romance novel?? How relieved he was when he found him in the coffin??? Him still remembering Guillermo's card word for word???!! Knowing that this toxic dark sided devotion goes both ways???!!! Borrowing the words of Fleabag: THIS IS A LOVE STORY.

Seriously, I know all these soft Nandor moments are here so the heartbreak when he learns about Guillermo being turned it's even bigger. But still denying that there is a romantic undertone between these two it's just being purposely adamant at this point (i'm looking at you wwdits reddit). Even if nothing explicitly romantic happens on screen, just by watching these moments, I know, we know.

Now, go listen to the ending song again. You will not regret it.

[multi-fandomedfreak]

I loovveeee your Connor headcannons!! Soooo.. maybe Connor introducing us to Hank and his Jericho friends like all cutesy. He would be so nervous but I just love himmmm. I am obsessed with the 'meeting their family' trope till I dieeeee

:)

Authors note: This is such a cute request I’m in loovveee

Paring(s): Connor x Reader

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ : noneee

🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙

-Connor is suuuper nervous

-Even though it was 100% his idea to introduce you to Hank and his Jericho friends

-But most definitely not because he’s ashamed of you or anything

-Poor dudes just nervous that the tension between humans and androids would still be there

-Plus he’d never forgive himself if he got someone he cared about hurt (whether that he u or his friends)

-But all it takes is a reassuring squeeze of your hand and suddenly the unease he was feeling subsided enough for him to go through with it

-With Hank it was easy introducing you

-He obviously had that gruff exterior to him but he took a liking to you almost immediately

-To be honest Hank and you hung out more that day than you did with Connor

-He was kinda watching with a mixture of being offended and content (Connor: 🥲&☺️)

-(Hank may or may not have started calling u his daughter-in-law ((as a joke))…maybe)

-After that Connors more at ease when he introduces you to his Jericho buddies

-Markus, who’s usually so calm and collected, is actually struggling to contain his joy from the thought of a human-Android relationship

-Markus and u are besties now

-Connor, probably: Why’s everyone stealing her 🥲🥲

-After introducing you to Simon and Josh, Connor starts to wonder why he was ever hesitant to introduce you in the first place

-Well…at least until North comes along

-Don’t get me wrong, North doesn’t hurt nor insult you in anyway

-Her trust just takes a little more effort to earn and for good reason

-Connor was really starting to worry it might be a problem since she didn’t seem to approve of you

-but little did he know you made plans to hang out with her next week after a while of talking with her lol

-And even though it was ur irresistible y/n charm that made his friends like you

-It was also because Connor could. not. shut. up. about you

-Before any of this he was already hyping you up and talking about you any chance he got

-So it was a team effort really lol

-By the end of the day, both of your guys’ social battery’s were drained (Connors literal battery too) I think I’m so funny

-So ya’ll just plopped down together in your shared bed and cuddled till you fell asleep