#posting stuff from my drafts that don't need to be there

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

(Accidentally posted this as a draft, then deleted it)

Florida man is a state of mind. One that shows how we all want to live. He exists without shame. Without hesitation. And most importantly, without a single thought. If you say you don't want to be like Florida man, you're lying.

If you like my work, please consider commissioning me or leaving a tip on Ko-fi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Julie, Frank, Wally & slightly unhinged/eccentric Reader

Julie

★ You and her make all sorts of new games. One afternoon, you "borrowed" a shopping cart from Howdy. And tried to see how fast you could go with her inside. Julie cheered. Howdy screamed. Now you owe the shopkeeper a new cart.

★ Somehow, you function on three hours of sleep and a bag of chips. Like a teen that got a hold of energy drinks for the first time. Julie just assumed it's normal for you to live like this. When you finally crash, she watches you. Amazed you stayed up this long.

★ She drew the line at "homemade fireworks." Because Julie really doesn't want you to destroy stuff. "You're gonna blow up that mailbox!" She warned you, wide eyed and a little scared. But you lit the fuse anyway. And all she did was watch.

Frank

★ Frank started questioning natural selection after meeting you. Not for being a good example. But because nothing you've done has killed you. The catalyst for this thought was when he saw you lighting... what looked like a pile of cardboard tubes? Followed by an explosion.

★ You must be doing something right if you've made it this far. Even though he's tried reasoning with you to make better decisions. "Please don't." He says while pinching the bridge of his nose. You grin "What if I do?" Sometimes, Frank makes you wear a helmet.

★ Despite everything, he likes having you around. He may tell people "They're going to be the death of me." But Frank still has a first aid kit stashed away. Just for you. As history suggests you'll need it again.

Wally

★ He always thought life was best lived carefully. Then you came along. With your scraped knuckles and busted knee. And Wally was charmed! He doesn't understand most of the things you do. Which is why he can't stop thinking about it.

★ You climbed the tall clock tower without safety gear. It wasn't damaged, but you were after losing grip. He didn't lecture you after. Just said "You should be more careful." While Frank, on the other hand, gave you an earful.

★ When somebody complains about your recklessness, he's the first to defend you. Saying “They think it's fun.” And nothing else. Because that might start an argument. And Wally doesn't care for those. 

[mortish-writes]

When is the next update for dark maiden? Your writing is so good, my heart sank when i saw to be continued😔

Since you're referencing DMR I assume you're on Patreon, I wrote a bit about this at the end of the Kerach sneak peak:

I'll be back soon with a Dark Maiden update, thank you for being understanding about the computer issues. I'm not the type of person to make posts saying "Sorry guys, xyz is happening so I'm going to be behind schedule." When I'm running late I just focus on getting my work done as quickly as possible and explaining later if I'm egregiously late. However, the circumstances in this case were so catastrophic that it merited advising. Essentially, I'd lost about two days worth of writing and a Scrivener file where I kept a good chunk of worldbuilding stuff. Thankfully it was more of a master primer, I have the majority of the info scattered between different stuff in the cloud. And obviously it's all in my head, I've drafted this story so many times. I already have most of the stuff I need sorted back into my new master primer. The most mind-numbing aspect, apart from redownloading all of my programs and updating all of my drivers, was trying to figure out the login info for all the sites I use. I'm still scratching my head wondering wtf my Canva email address is. So it's been a hectic few days of nonstop tech woes but I am back at it now and will be focused on writing as quickly as I can (without sacrificing quality). I've already told my husband and the kids that I'm going goblin mode this week and they'll have to figure out how to cook for themselves and operate a broom while I work.

The answer is this week, I just don't want to give an official day because I cannot handle being late again this month. I find being behind schedule immensely stressful. However I am currently working on Dark Maiden (I'm actually just stopping now to eat lunch and catch up on some of my inbox) and I'll be writing it all day. When I publish will depend on if I opt to finish the moonday + 4th dream and publish or push through to the night. Given that the night will be loaded with sex, it'll probably be the former as quality sex takes a few days to write and I'd rather not rush it.

[jade-bright]

(Remembered this in my drafts: the first time I thought of a Prince Merlin au, but I think that same day, or the next, I found someone's post with a similar concept, and so didn't post it or continue to work on it, but with my recent prince merlin thoughts resurfacing, I decided to post the first draft/idea of this au that I had, even if I don't use all the plot/story points)

[Draft from Sept. 4, 2024]

Gonna stray from my usual stuff real quick,

But I just thought of a Prince Merlin au, where whenever he's to visit a new kingdom, he goes a few days earlier than his parents looking like a peasant and going about those few days seeing what the people of the kingdom are like without other royals present.

This usually leads Merlin to know how the lower class people's living conditions are like, see how the nobles treat their servants, and what the royal family is really like. This stunt has led to Merlin acquiring two loyal friends turned knights, Sir Lancelot and Sir Gwaine.

All of this comes into great practice when his father, King Balinor, informs him they'll be going to visit Camelot for a treaty between their kingdoms that may need to involve an arranged marriage. (Important to know, Merlin is genderfluid in this, so different kingdoms either hear different rumors as to what Merlin’s gender is or just that Balinor and Hunith also have a daughter and they keep her well protected at home).

So, Merlin arrives a month before his parents do, and everything that happened in the show in that first "month" happens. Merlin’s able to deduce how the people and servants are treated, the true personality of the Pendragons, and how magic is treated.

[basket-of-radiants]

Why were you so disappointed by Rhythm of War?

This has been sitting in my askbox for years. I've taken several cracks at answering, only to get frustrated with the subject matter and burn myself out every time. I didn't like Rhythm of War. More than that, I didn't like it in a way that tainted my enjoyment of the entire series. And despite what it may seem, I don't actually enjoy discussing things which I don't like. I always want to talk from a place of good faith. Which is why now that my feelings towards the series are a little more positive, I think I can finally answer this.

I'm going to try to stay away from specific plotpoints and story beats for this post, because my goal isn't to nitpick (if for no other reason than it would take a week to write this post), I'm just looking to talk about my overall impressions. I think that might mean the only spoilers here will be structural? idk, if you haven't read Rhythm of War yourself then you should probably do that before looking for other people's opinions anyway. 

I liked Way of Kings when I first read it. I didn't love it at the time, but I liked it. Certainly enough to keep reading once I'd finished. One thing that made me a bit uncomfy, however, was the war against the Parshendi. They were this unknowable enemy which the book was not interested in knowing. An inhuman army. Their main purpose was to kill Kaladin's friends, or else be killed by Dalinar's armies. And yet the Parshendi, and the parshmen in the form of Shen, did show hints of personhood. And so it bothered me how Dalinar spoke so casually about how the Alethi had decimated their numbers, how the others used the war as a means to amass wealth and power. (It didn't bother me in a "this is a bad book" way but in a "these characters are bad people" way.)

One of my foibles as a reader is that when a book is very clearly treating one side of a conflict with more humanity, I tend to be a bit predisposed towards the other to account for that. And with the Alethi clearly being the invading party and superior military force, there was also some underdog favoritism. I didn't really like how the book treated the Parshendi. This is to say that going forward, the singers would be more important to me than any other through line.

So imagine my delight at reading Words of Radiance and meeting Eshonai, one of the Parshendi, who even gets her own point of view sections! They were no longer being treated as a faceless mass, we were getting to see things from their perspective as well. And it became plain to see the damage the Alethi had done to them. I couldn't really bring myself to root for Dalinar or really any of the humans against the listeners. I couldn't even bring myself to like most of these characters. I still enjoyed the book but once it became clear there wouldn't be a peaceful conclusion, let's just say that I wouldn't have wept for Dalinar and Adolin if Szeth had managed to off them. Like everyone in the book, I assumed that going forward all the parshmen would be turned into evil voidbringers in the everstorm and that the listeners were mostly dead. Except for Rlain, and Eshonai because I'd read or been told that book 4 would be Eshonai's book and thus had assumed she was fine. (Oathbringer spoilers, she was not fine.) So ultimately it was still a bit of a downer way to end the book. 

So imagine my delight at reading Oathbringer, where for the first time singers were being treated as people, full and real people, and where the human characters could no longer ignore or dismiss them. We met Khen and the others, common singers who were sympathetic and just wanted freedom from bondage. We see Venli grapple with the loss of her home. We see Leshwi and Moash connecting with and understanding one another. We learn of a history where singers were the original inhabitants of the planet. Parallel to this, Dalinar is having a truly excellent character arc about confronting one's past actions and acknowledging them to move forward and do better. I loved Oathbringer, for some years it was my favorite book, and I was excited as hell to see what came next. At the time, it seemed to me that there is a clear direction the story is going. Two books about needless war, and then a third where the main cast is forced to acknowledge the personhood of their enemies. This was so cool, all of my feelings from the previous installments were being validated, the characters were going to have to face what they've done in the past and outgrow their militaristic mindsets, I was so sure of that.

Imagine my disappointment when that does not even remotely resemble the direction the story went in Rhythm of War. RoW presented a clear, straightforward “us vs. them" narrative, where every character was totally fine with killing singers. Characters aligned with the singers were either flattened into wholly evil versions of themselves (Moash) or were expected to turn on their side in favor of the humans (Venli.) Because clearly there was no reason good people would be on the side that's all former slaves trying to stay free. Maybe there's some sort of accord or understanding between Navani and Raboniel that I might have found meaningful if the seeds of mutual understanding weren't already there in Oathbringer and then apparently ignored for a year by all the characters.

I have a lot of issues with how the listeners are handled in these books. (Here's some elaboration.) Following OB, I had thought that all my concerns were going to be addressed. Following RoW, I knew they never would be. 

Which is my main complaint, because that's the thread that matters most to me in this series.

I have a lot of other Things as well. Gonna just talk about a few big ones. 

One outsized source of disappointment that may seem a little petty, and which probably is, is that I felt mislead by the premise of the book. It had been announced that this book would center Venli and Eshonai, and I was unbelievably hyped for that. That did not really turn out to be the case. The purpose for their backstory chapters felt less about exploring them as people and contextualizing their arcs, and more about filling in gaps of world history. In the main plot, Venli was a POV character and she certainly played a role, but honestly not a very important one overall. To me she felt like a side character in her own book. I don't think it's controversial to say that the main character of RoW was Navani. A lot of people really like Navani and are happy about that. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people, and I found it all the more difficult to enjoy her when it felt like it was coming at the expense of some of my favorite characters. 

This particular gripe somewhat comes down to preference, obviously everyone prefers to read about characters they like more than those they don't, and it can go both ways. (For instance, on a craft/technical level RoW is probably the superior book to W&T, but I liked the latter a lot more because of my stupidly outsized attachment to Szeth and Nale.) But I do think there's something of a real criticism in how the book would rather focus on the feelings of a queen rather than those of a genocide survivor, and how the former's are given significantly more weight and import. It ties in with my main criticism, I think. 

And then there's how human/human racism had also been wholly cast aside as a plot point. Jasnah fixed slavery so that's resolved, and the only person who still cares about structural racism is the evil bad bad evil villain Moash/Vyre, who is now wholly irredeemable and who you're allowed to totally write off because he's sold his soul to Odium. I've already talked a lot about this. Other people have already talked about this, probably better than me. The writing was actually on the wall for me in OB, but again, RoW was when I fully accepted that this was never going to be addressed. 

There's something else that probably deserves its own discussion rather than being quickly tacked on at the end here, but here we are. This book changed how the series approaches war. 

In WoK, war was very clearly portrayed as a bad and inglorious thing. It was brutal, it was painful, those at the bottom died cruelly and unceremoniously and pointlessly while those at the top turned a profit. Every day was a new horror. The enemy were never evil, they were always just more people forced to go through the same thing. Through the next couple books, it felt to me that even if the characters had accepted war as necessary, there was still a tragedy to it. Conversely, in RoW (and W&T) war is basically a series of boss battles, in between which our protagonists can kill dozens of footsoldiers with barely a thought in the same way WoK had criticized.

Final note on all this, it sucks how we have no perspectives from the former-slaves-singers demographic. Those guys are really thrown under the bus, and seemingly get no self-determination now or ever. It was a glaring problem to me in RoW. Conscripted and enslaved humans and singers probably have just as much ground to form mutual understanding as a fused and a queen. (In fact they already had. In Oathbringer.)

In essence, RoW disappointed me because it left me with the distinct impression that none of the series's most important through lines (well, most important to me) were going to be resolved well. I liked W&T, but I haven't revised my opinion very much about the overall handling of these topics across the series. Maybe one of the reasons I was able to enjoy W&T so much more was because I no longer had such high expectations.

[jackabbot]

"you don't have to ship x just enjoy—" how about i ship whatever i want without some rando making it into their calling to hand out permission slips? maybe i'll enjoy the source material my way? maybe i find whimsy in shipping certain characters that others only see as platonic? what then? are you gonna steal my pillows?

[itstheheebiejeebies]

Me: I need to get stuff made for the upcoming weeks of the rewatch

Also Me: makes shit completely unrelated to the rewatch over and over again

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[comfortlesshurt]

OKAY, IT'S FINALLY HITTING

(will you guys hate me if I post this longfic a month later than planned?)

[doodlingwren]

It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art

Edit: I need to specifying some things, or somebody might misinterpret this post in the future.

Tracing and copying are more than okay to use if you need to exercise or study stuff! Copying might be a bit better because you're actually training your eye and hand on how to make shapes and volumes. My best advice is, if you trace something, keep it for yourself and don't post it online (if you do, ask the original artist if they're okay with it)

Always use references, especially for anatomy stuff! It's not a cheat! Poses are complicated, and there are a lot of photographers posting pose packs FOR FREE TO USE! Or even artists drawing them :)

Remember to read the TERMS OF SERVICE when using a photo/ base you've found online: some people want credits, others are fine without them! But you have to check to know, and please be respectful

YCH (your character here) are NOT free to use bases; please know that. They are artwork from other artist showcasing a type of commission they are doing. And neither are WIPs

do NOT trust stuff you find on Pinterest. A great part of the artworks over there have been uploaded 1) without the artist consent and often 2) with a misleading use. Already happened to find other artist artworks or sketches being given out as "bases".

This post came from the fact some of the images used and traced were actually anatomy studies made by a very famous artist who requested for them not to be traced over (or if used like that, to give credits were it's due).

For the actual bases, they can be found on Twitter, and credits are required as well.

For that one traced artwork. It's actually a work in progress made by an artist, and I suppose it was uploaded on Pinterest, so some people might think of it as a base? Although it has on it "WIP" and the original artist name (if you've been drawing. You know exactly what those 2 things mean). The other things that bothered me it's while for the other there has been an attempt, this one it's traced 1 to 1. Didn't bother to change the character face at all. That's what makes me mad. Taking all the credits for something that you didn't do. That's just being lazy and not giving a fuck about art. Also they traced other artist's illustrations as well with their OCs so. I guess it's not just fandom art 😂

On a side note, this is something that I've seen happen quite a lot. And especially if you're doing commissions for a living, a trace accusation can destoy your carreer. Therefore, I won't tell this person a name or make a callout post. I did block them and moved on, and this was a vent post I had to do for myself.

[vraska-theunseen]

aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh

[fatelcved]

i got the urge to lore dump now, especially after what i brainstormed last night, but i'm just... where do i start

[slimyenemy]

no stop with your fish i stopped talking to her who the hell even knows how long ago because she didn't respect my boundaries kept dehumanizing and belittling me tried to use me about her insecurities regardless and wanted me in weird hostile math environments with her cultists and that's all there is what you're doing is weird psychological torture at best and just straight up trafficking at worst we're not talking about this anymore

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[allisonreader]

I'm in a mood, so below are some more personal ramblings.

This hasn't come up recently, but I find that in this particular moment that I am thinking about it. And that is most people's perception of me, both in person and online. I find it so interesting that the general perception of me is this bright, bubbly personality that can lighten the mood with my smile. (Obviously this is extremely a generic description but it is apt. As I have been told it in some variation throughout my life.)

But quite literally since at least kindergarten, the two most common comments on my report cards throughout my school career were about how I was a delight to have in class and my smile always lit up the classroom with my particular knack for procrastination mentioned shortly after.

I've always been the one with a smile to the point where more than once in high school when I had a more neutral expression on my face, I had people ask me out of concern if something was wrong, when nothing was.

So anyways I do think that it's interesting that this perception of me even bleeds into how I come across online. That this "sunshine and rainbows" sort of positive personality shines through what I write and post, even though I feel like it doesn't always. But I've had more than one person make comments that say exactly that to some degree. Bright is often used.

And I guess why I'm thinking about this right now is because at the moment I certainly don't feel bright or bubbly. Right now I feel a touch lonely. Which aches across the chest.

A big problem I have though is that I like to bury and ignore that feeling sometimes. I will sometimes reach out to people, but will I admit to why I'm trying to contact anyone, no. Because why admit to loneliness or anything else? Not when you can bury them down deep. I'm not looking for any advice, because I know what the solution is. It's getting out there, reaching out to people whether I want to or not and going and doing something. (Here enters procrastination once again.)

Anyways I just needed to write that out currently. And now this can get lost in the void. Though I am up for a chat.

[chippdhearts]

every day i wish i could have two queues. one for my original bullshit content and one for RBs

[jewishcissiekj]

I really need to finish the Asajj recs post off with Legends and shit. And post it.