#practicing being zen about things..

[kindestegg]

If I am to be absolutely fully honest though none of the posts I've seen on that stupid kink issue really hit the nail on exactly how I feel about it n why I do but like I also have no energy to further involve myself anyway nor do I think it would be productive. It feels that doing so would just be to self justify to some invisible hypothetical crowd and if I am to be fully honest the more I observe other spheres of hyperspecific community issues the more I realize that's all anyone ever is doing at all. Just positing their own specific thinkpiece in regards to their worldview and hoping that will make them and others in immediate proximity feel good enough that it'll give them peace of mind (this going for any side even). And I think that's no way to live, I don't need you to approve how I think or feel about this or anything else, nor the actions I take, I'll keep blocking whoever I want and cultivating my circle the way I want to, and in the end that's all anyone will ever continue to do and has been doing up until this point. Ultimately I think perhaps the best thing to do is to stop talking for just a little bit.

[puckinghischier]

Meet the Parents

Jack Hughes x fem!reader

summary: reader is nervous to meet jack’s parents

notes: got the itch to write again, and this request has been sitting in my inbox for awhile. this was very fun to write, and i’m learning i absolutely LOVE writing jack! the ending is kinda weird bc i didn’t really know how to end it, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! happy reading!! 🫶🏼

request: jack bringing his gf to meet the rest of his family and they all quickly adore her, but can tell she’s really important to jack and he really just loves her but she is also super close to Luke and that makes ellen very happy!! just something sweet have fun!!!

[4.2k]

“Darling, chill out. Everything’s going to be fine. I’m telling you, they already love you,” Jack brings a hand over to calm your bouncing knee.

You worry that Jack made a reservation at the wrong restaurant, seeing as the two of you have been sitting in the half circle booth for fifteen minutes already, and there’s no trace of the rest of the Hughes clan to be seen.

Jack’s parents had flown into Jersey yesterday, wanting to be there when the Devils play the Canucks tomorrow so they can see all of their children on the same ice once again.

Quinn and Luke were joining you for dinner tonight, too, but you had no fears about either of them being in attendance. If anything, the fact that both of them will be here calms your nerves a little more.

Luke was actually the reason you had met Jack in the first place. The small café you worked at being one of Luke’s favorite spots to come and decompress after practice or before big games. He would come in and sit at the same table in the back of the small dining room, ordering an iced green tea and a grilled ham and swiss every time.

You went to take your break one day, going to sit at your favorite secluded corner booth, only to find the space already taken by none other than your curly-headed regular.

He offered for you to sit, claiming his table had been taken when he came in, but he was about to take off anyways. You insisted he stayed and you share the booth, then spent your entire break chatting with the hockey player, as you had learned, and a friendship was quickly formed.

He started sitting in your booth instead of his table, causing you to spend most of your breaks talking to your new friend. The conversations during breaks and between rushes became him inviting you to games and outings with his teammates.

He had introduced you to Jack the first time you agreed to meet up with him at a sports bar down the road after a shift, and you were instantly drawn to the middle Hughes brother.

The more games you went to and the more you made appearances during post-game celebrations, the closer you became to Jack, until the two of you made the jump from friends to dating.

Luke had admitted that he knew from that first time he sat with you on your break, you were perfect for his brother. He orchestrated the whole thing, from inviting you out to bringing Jack along to a few of his ‘zen’ lunches before games after your first introduction to his older brother.

You were thankful Luke had decided to play matchmaker for his brother all those months ago. You couldn’t imagine your life without Jack in it, now. You had found your person, and gained two brothers out of it at the same time.

And even though you had been with Jack for quite some time, the opportunity to meet his parents had never presented until now. You had met Quinn only two months into your relationship, taking a trip to Vancouver with the two devils players to celebrate Quinn’s becoming captain of the Canucks.

Jim and Ellen hadn’t been able to make it then, flying out a few weeks after the three of you made your visit. Jack and Luke had invited you to spend the week with their family at their lake house this summer, but it was the same week you had flown home for your grandfather’s birthday party.

There were a couple more missed opportunities between now and then, but now is the time that you’re faced with the infamous task of meeting the parents.

You keep trying to tell yourself that they can’t be that scary, considering how quickly you were accepted by all three children they raised. But that seed of doubt keeps digging its roots in your mind, causing you to become a ball of anxious energy all day.

You had shown up and proceeded to clean Jack’s entire apartment at seven o’clock this morning, after cleaning yours last night, because you couldn’t sleep. You color-coded his t-shirts in his closet and re-organized all of Luke’s drawers in his room. Luke had joked that they should take you to a family reunion and maybe you’d start detailing their cars, next. The comment earned him a swift smack to the head from Jack.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, begged you to stop, and take a breather with him. He took you to a salon to get your nails re-done, the scrubbing you did to your shower last night ruining your current manicure. He also took you to the local animal shelter, remembering how you babbled about a statistic stating that petting a cat for ten minutes can reduce a person’s stress by 50%.

He brought you back to his apartment with plenty of time to get ready, and sat in the bathroom with you the entire time you showered so he could listen to you list your worries about this evening and reassure you everything would be fine. He claimed he wanted to learn and help when you sat down in front of the vanity he had bought and placed in his room for you, eager to help you apply the various creams and powders to your face. He tried to curl a few strands of your hair for you, causing you to break into a fit of giggles when he got the iron so tangled in your hair it stayed without either of you holding on to it.

His actions did ease your anxiety, being so focused on Jack and your love for him to leave any room for the familiar bubble of nervousness in your belly. But the second you stepped foot in the restaurant, it all became real again.

“Jack, are you sure this is the right place? Why aren’t they here yet? Do you think they forgot?” you place your hand on top of the one he just placed on your knee, looking over at him with wide, worried eyes.

“Yes, this is the right place. They’re just running a bit behind. Dad isn’t always the best judge of traffic. He thinks he can beat the GPS every time,” he chuckles, leaning in to place a kiss to your temple.

You close your eyes and lean into his kiss, allowing yourself to get lost in Jack and the comfort he never fails to bring you.

He removes his lips from your temple, lowering his head slightly to speak quietly into your ear.

“I promise, you have nothing to worry about. Mom is so excited to meet you, and Dad always asks about how your classes are going when I talk to him on the phone,” he starts, rubbing his hand up and down your thigh. “Plus, if for some reason they decide they don’t like you, which is literally impossible, by the way, it’s not going to change the way I feel about you.”

He places a kiss to your cheek, your eyes still closed listening to his words. You let out a breath you had been holding, letting yourself fully sag into his side. He starts to speak softly once more as you lay your head fully on his shoulder.

“They will never change how much I love you, Y/N. You’re it for me. I’ll live the rest of my life in familial exile if I have to. You’re the only thing that matters to me, understand?”

“Now, don’t be so dramatic, Jack, I’m a catch. Surely if I can survive all the puck bunnies I can survive your mom and dad,” you joke, his words giving you a small boost of confidence. “Plus, they raised you, how scary can they really be?”

You lift your head off of his shoulder and pinch his cheek, poking fun at the fact the internet claims Jack isn’t very threatening.

“Heyyy,” he draws the word out, feigning offense. “I can be scary. I am a big scary hockey player after all,” he pouts bringing his forehead to rest against yours.

You bring your hand up to pat his cheek. “Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that, pretty boy.”

You giggle as Jack growls at you and brings his hands to tickle your sides, causing you to yelp and try to squirm away from him in the large booth.

Neither of you notice the hostess escorting the rest of the Hughes family towards your booth.

“Alright, get a room you two, geez. And don’t make it mine this time,” you hear Luke’s voice ring out, referencing the time Jack’s sheets were being washed so the two of you decided to nap in Luke’s room.

You snap to attention, separating yourself from Jack fully.

You look up to see his entire family standing there, looking at you. Jack rolls his eyes at his brother, quickly scooting out of the booth to greet his parents.

“We take a nap in your room one time and you never let us forget it. We even slept on top of your comforter, for crying out loud!” Jack ruffles Luke’s curls as he walks past him.

You wiggle your way out of the booth to greet his family, taking a few deep breaths for good measure.

You find yourself in front of Quinn first, walking into his open arms for one of your favorite Quinn bear hugs.

“How are you, squirt?” he asks, squeezing you tight.

“Quinnifer, I’m only two years younger than you,” you squeeze him back, hearing him chuckle at your own nickname for the defenseman.  

“Yeah, so you’re forever and affectionately known as squirt,” he says matter of factly, pulling back from the hug but keeping his hands on your upper arms as you roll your eyes at him.

“So, you doing okay? Any meltdowns yet? Jack told me you were nervous,” Quinn questions you, ducking slightly so he can look into your eyes.

“Well, Jack’s t-shirts are color coded and Luke’s drawers are now sorted in order of how he gets dressed, so if that’s what you call okay, then yeah, I’m doing great,” you reveal, giving Quinn a sheepish smile.

“I thought Jack said you were nervous? Sounds like a typical Thursday night for you,” he teases back, letting his hands drop.

“Ha-Ha, very funny, Quinnifer,” you deadpan.

Quinn laughs at you. “Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t know if Jack told you already, but they ask about you all the time. I think Mom’s over the moon that Rowdy finally has someone to keep him in check. They love you already.” Quinn tells you with the most sincerity you’ve ever heard from him.

You reach out and squeeze his shoulder, a silent thank you for the reassurance.

“Yeah, I think Mom’s already got the wedding colors picked out,” Luke approaches the two of you.

“Shut up, Moose. You’re just mad Jack snagged her when you were too dumb to,” Quinn elbows Luke in the ribs as he stands next to his oldest brother.

“Quinn, that’s literally the most disgusting thing you’ve ever said to me,” Luke hunches over, rubbing his abdomen.

“Gee, thanks Luke. Glad to know how repulsive you think I am,” you throw your arms up slightly, playfully scoffing.

“Don’t get me wrong, Y/N, you’re a catch and all, but my God, that’s like someone telling me I should make a move on my sister,” Luke makes a gagging noise, emphasizing his point.

“Don’t worry, Lukey, I feel the same way about it. You’re the annoying little brother I never wanted and didn’t have…until now,” you dig back, earning your own eye roll from the tallest Hughes.

You look over to see Jack conversing with his parents when he catches your eye, waving you over.

“Well, here goes nothing, I guess,” you whisper out before walking the few feet to your left where Jack stands with his parents.

You walk into the open arm Jack has held out for you, his arm slipping around your waist, his thumb lightly rubbing up and down to let you know he’s right there with you.

“Mom, Dad, this is Y/N,” Jack introduces you as you place your own hand over his on your waist, grounding yourself to him.

You’re so focused on trying to smile without looking like you’re in pain that you don’t see the look Jack gives you.

Ellen, however, does. Jack told her how nervous you were for tonight, begging her to not ask you too many questions and to let you do the talking, no matter how well intended her questions are.

She sees the way her son looks at you, never having seen such an expression of love on his face before. She notices how tightly you’re gripping his hand, and the slight motion of his thumb.

She knew she liked you before this moment, Jack’s constant talking about you making her feel like she’s already met you before. But witnessing your moment with Jack before the two of you were aware they had arrived, seeing how comfortable you are with her son, and how much joy was on his face every time he looked at you, was enough to sell her even further.

You reach your hand out for a handshake, trying to discreetly wipe your hand on the fabric of your dress.

“Hi, It’s so nice to finally meet you two. I’m so sorry we haven’t been able to meet before now. Jack’s told me so much about you,” you say to both of them, but reaching your hand out towards Ellen first.

Ellen takes your hand. “Oh, honey, we’re not a hand shaking family. You see how Quinn is, we’re huggers,” she pulls you forward, wrapping you in what you can only described as a motherly hug.

She squeezes you tightly before letting go, giving you a wide smile.

You turn to Jim, his arms already open and inviting.

You give him a quick hug, now knowing where Quinn gets his bear hugging tendencies from.

The six of you make your way into the large booth, you and Jack taking your spot in the middle of the booth with his parents sitting to his left and Quinn and Luke sitting to your right.

Jack’s hand makes its way to your leg immediately. Throughout the meal he’s never not touching you. Whether it’s his hand on your leg, his arm around your shoulders, or his hand resting in yours on the table, he always lets you know he’s right there with you.

Ellen and Jim ask you about your school work and what your plans are after you graduate. They ask you about your family and where you’re from, but they mostly let you set the pace of the conversation, which you’re thankful for.

The food comes and goes, and the anxiety you felt earlier melts away the longer you converse with the family.

Once the plates are cleared and dessert is ordered, the topic of hockey finally makes its way into the conversation of the night. You’re thankful, the spotlight finally being taken off of you for a few minutes.

“So, Quinny, hope you’re ready to get your ass beat tomorrow, because Luke and I won’t be taking it easy on you out there, Cap,” Jack changes the subject when there’s a lull in the discussion of how you ended up in New Jersey, giving you a squeeze and a quick wink, being able to tell you were getting a little talked out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to. Then it’d be too easy, considering we’re going to shut you out anyways,” Quinn teases back.

“I don’t know, Huggy, I think that C added a bit too much weight to your jersey, you’re looking slower and slower every time I see you. Or maybe it’s just that old age catching up with you,” Luke chimes in.

“I’m twenty-four you idiot. I’m still one of the youngest guys on my team,” Quinn rolls his eyes. You notice a lot of eye rolling among the three brothers when they’re together.

“I don’t know, I heard that twenty-four in hockey years is basically like you’re fifty in normal people years,” Jim adds, smirking over at Jack.

“Oh, yeah? So you’re saying you could out skate me if we were to get on the ice right now, huh, Dad?” Quinn challenges his father.

“Sure I could. Who do you think you got all of your talent from, hmm?”

All three of the boys respond in unison. “Mom.”

The table erupts in laughter.

“Alright boys, enough. Before you talk your father into doing something that could get him hurt,” Ellen speaks through the laughter, looking up at her husband while resting her head on his shoulder for just a moment.

You watch the two look at each other, seeing how much love they share.

You turn your head to look over at Jack, laughter still on his face. You can’t help but smile up at him. You love him with everything you have in you, and finally meeting his entire family just solidified that for you. Being able to spend time with the wonderful people that raised him makes you love him that much more. You look around the table at his two brothers, still laughing with each other. You hope that one day you can have this with Jack. A family with nothing but love to give each other.

As you’re picturing your future with Jack, he’s looking over at you, thinking about how lucky he is that Luke happened to stumble into your café on one of his first days in New Jersey. He thanks the universe for putting you in his path and for the fact that you, for some unknown reason, decided to love him out of all the people in this world.

Ellen once again observes the looks both you and Jack gave the other when the other wasn’t paying attention. She feels a warmth settling in her chest when she looks at the two of you. She can see how much you mean to Jack, and how much he means to you. She sees how well you get along with Luke and Quinn, both of them talking about you nearly as much as Jack does. You fit in so well with their family; your humor, kindness, and capacity to love her boys making her feel like you’re simply an addition to their dynamic that she didn’t know was missing until now.

Dessert comes and goes and the boys all argue over who’s paying for dinner until Jim sneaks his card to the waiter while they were too busy yelling at one another.

You all exit the booth and make your way to the sidewalk in front of the building, chit chatting a little more while walking to the parking garage before parting ways.

You’re walking with Quinn, Luke and Jim, listening to them bicker about tomorrow’s game. You notice Jack and Ellen fall behind, Ellen linking arms with her middle son as they walk.

“So, what do you think?” Jack asks his mom, watching you push Luke lightly, wondering what he said to make your head fall back in laughter.

“Jack, she’s great. But you already knew that. Not that you need it, but my approval was given the second you called and said you’d met someone,” Ellen responds, following his gaze, watching you pull Jack’s jacket tighter around your shoulders.

“God, I love her, Mom. More than I ever knew was possible,” Jack sighs out, letting his head fall onto the top of Ellen’s as they walk.

“I can see it, Jack. And I can see she loves you just as much,” Ellen starts, bringing her free hand up to pat Jack’s arm. “My only advice? Don’t let her go. She’s special, Jack. The way she gets along with your brothers, and the way they love her like she’s been part of this family for years, that’s rare.”

Ellen blinks back tears, just overwhelmed with happiness that Jack found someone that’s able to love him as much as she knows he deserves to be loved.

“I know, Mom. Trust me, I know. I don’t ever plan on letting her go. In fact,” Jack pauses, pulling back from his mom as you round the corner into the garage with his dad and brothers, “I bought this about two months ago. Not gonna give it to her just yet, but I couldn’t stand it any longer. Had to go ahead and buy her one,” he pulls out a small velvet box, popping it open and showing his mom the ring he picked out for you.

“Oh, Jack,” Ellen coos as she takes the box from his hand, looking at the princess cut diamond sitting on top of the gold band.

Her eyes fill with tears for the millionth time this evening when she looks up at Jack, finally letting them spill over. She keeps looking down at the ring and then back up at Jack while the tears stream down her cheeks.

Jack feels his own eyes sting at his mother’s reaction, knowing they’re happy tears.

“Jack, I’m so proud of you. And so happy for you,” Ellen sniffles through the tears. “She’s going to love it, honey. Just…let me know before you do it, yeah? And don’t forget her parents, you gotta let them know, too.” She wipes her eyes, closing the box and handing him back the ring.

“Already taken care of. Asked them when I bought it. Told me they’d love nothing more, but to just let them know when it’s happening. And to send them lots of pictures,” Jack chuckles, placing the box back in his pocket but not taking his hand off of it.

“Oh, yes, I want lots of pictures too. Don’t want to miss a second of the moment I finally get a girl!” Ellen exclaims, throwing her hands out in excitement.

“Don’t worry, I plan on flying everyone out when I do it. Know it’d mean the world to her to have everyone here to celebrate afterwards. Got it all planned out and everything,” Jack tells his mom, pulling her in for a hug.

Ellen squeezes him as hard as she can, letting every ounce of pride and love she has in her body flow into Jack through her hug.

“Oh, and just in case you get too far ahead and start planning the wedding before I propose,“ Jack breaks the silence, knowing how excited Ellen can get, “Luke already called dibs on being the flower girl.”

Ellen bursts into laughter so loud it alerts you and the rest of her family that they were no longer behind you.

You back track just a little to find Jack and Ellen walking towards you while hugging each other and laughing.

“Where’d you guys go? I thought you were right behind us?” you asked, noticing the puffy nature of Ellen’s eyes but choosing not to overstep and comment on it.

“Oh, honey, we were. And always will be. Right here behind you, whenever you need us,” Ellen says as Jack comes up beside you and tugs you into his side.

Her sentimental comment confuses you, but you catch Jack smiling down at you out of the corner of your eye, any confusion forgotten the second your eyes met his.

“Alright, I better catch up with the rest of my crew. You boys need your rest tonight, you have a big game tomorrow,” Ellen points at Jack.

She makes her way over to you, Jack letting go of you in order to let his mother pull you into a hug.

“Y/N, it was so lovely to finally meet you. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow, okay?” She pulls back, bringing her hands to rest on your cheeks. “Welcome to the family, dear,” she tells you, pulling you in for yet another hug.

She meets her son’s gaze behind you as she squeezes you, a knowing look shared between the two.

You squeezed her back, willing yourself not to cry as you digest the words you wish you could go back and tell yourself this morning, so you could let her know it would all be okay, and to leave Jack’s closet alone.

She finally pulls back, walking over and giving Jack a kiss on the cheek before giving the two of you a small wave before disappearing around the corner, following her husband and two other sons.

You turn to look at Jack, tears in your eyes.

“Does that mean she liked me? Or was she just being nice?” you ask him, wanting to make sure you really did make a good impression on his family.

“Darling, she meant it, trust me. You’re one of us now. Have been from the start, really. The only thing you’re missing is the last name,” he assures you, earning a laugh as you shake your head and grab his hand, leading him in the direction of his parked car.

He watches as you walk in front of him, feeling the weight of the ring box in his pocket, finding no humor in the idea of you officially becoming a Hughes, knowing that day is coming sooner rather than later.

[sanesaviour]

Danny☀️

Here are some headcanons about him and other characters:

1. He spend most of his life in K’un Lun, so living in New York is big culture shock for him, feels like different universe for him and at first he was really struggling with New Yorks pace (like K’un Lun is definition of patience and peace while New York is complete chaos), he is still learning how juggle his superhero duties, training and just living in such a chaotic city without feeling overwelmed. Also the technology and social media is wild west for him, even tho he tries really hard to understand it better and is really interested in modern technology he always ends up in situarions like: ,,why is my phone working so slow?” Turns out he has open like 100 tabs… but somehow he is really good at using his mp3 player (he really loves music and has very questionable taste in it)

2. He is super chill about everything, he have that laid-back attitude and also fashion, like he wears very loose comfy clothes and tries to just blend in (he fails) and I like to think like he is popular at school but on accident and he doesn’t even realize it coz everyone just like how chill he is all the time. Most of his teammates are jealous of this and he doesn’t get why, he is just too clueless

3. Vegan (I thought this was just my headcannon but after starting S2 turns out it’s actually cannon in show too lol)

4. Danny is fist one to accept Peter as new teammate but also as friend, he is only one who has beenkind to him since beggining, they are really good friends even tho most of the time they are alone together they don’t talk just vibe together

5. Danny teaches Luke how to be more book smart and luke teaches danny street smarts, they are best bros actually and later ends up on lot of missons together. And I feel like Luke likes to joke about Danny’s fancy origins like: “Did you learned this moves while sipping on some mystical tea and writing poetry?” Danny never gets those are jokes and is always like: “yea, how did you know? :D”

6. Ava and Danny both likes to read, they both can go hours withour saying anything and just reading next to each other… others likes to point out that they are like grandparents when they do that, also I think being disturbed while reading only thing that can get danny out of his chill guy mood. While Ava does that “shhhhh” thing while being disturbed Danny just stare at them with really cold and done expression which says: are you gonna shut up?

7. Sam is the one who actually teaches Danny about modern technologies and stuff. He also gives Danny nicknames like for example Zen guy… he likes to make fun of him but he secretly admires how cool Danny can be with his whole mystical vibe around him and on the other other hand Danny admires Sam’s jokes and even sarcasm (when he finally gets the whole concept about it) and is very fast to learn those skills from him (Peter thinks Sam is ruining him lol)

8. Okay this one is bit awkward but I think lot I can’t be the only one who thought about this… so I remember during history classes it was mentioned multiple times that most monks practice celibacy and some of them don’t even come to contact with woman for most of their life’s… SO- I think that at beginning Danny don’t really think about relationships, don’t mind spending time with someone of opposite gender, he views men and women as equals and he doesn’t feel any attraction to anyone, he is very focused on training… ofc due to his “popularity” some people try to hit on him but again he is clueless about it, but at some point someone will make it very obvious that they are into him and he will do nothing about it but this moment will start his overthinking literally every human interaction phase and internal morality fight like he really would like to experience date but his mind is always like “why are you thinking about this? You are such a disgrace to K’un Lun!!!” Also he would go from talking w everyone same way to being speechless and all flustered around opposite gender… once that would happened even with Ava and her first thought about it would be something like he have some problem with her so she wouldn’t let him be until he tells her what’s wrong with him, so basically she would force him to spill the truth… then she would just laugh and make puns about it really often in front of others and he always tries to stop her so it looks like it’s some stupid inside joke of theirs which no one else gets

[sunsbaby]

now playing: 2000 miles -Hor!Zen

"12 pack in the back

got the 15's bumpin'

summer-time!"

𖤓 𓂃 stanford!dean winchester x beach bum!reader

! alcohol . drugs . dean is IN LOVE . its lowk cute . fluff. opposites attract?

you would never be caught dead with a football guy, especially one like dean winchester. he was everything you weren't,  you weren't as popular as him, nor athletic. but that doesn't mean you didn't find him attractive just not enough to fling yourself towards him. that would be embarrassing.

you'd caught dean's eye, passing him through the halls with a faint smell of salt water that followed you, clinging onto you and never coming off; almost as if it was a part of you. your presence entranced him and he wanted, needed to know more.

the single puka shell that adorned your neck standing out, the gold that decorated the rest of your body gave you a glow he'd never seen on anyone else. your sun-kissed skin which always looked so kissable, his mind wandering to what it'd feel like on his lips. your tank-tops that stuck to your form, showing off your curves to the whole school–not that dean was going to complain.

yet, his mind focused on the small things about you. how your lips moved when you spoke, the perfume you sprayed-and what scent it was, how you always wore your hair up, and your eyes. those eyes were enough to make him fall to his knees and beg. he wasn't a stalker, dean just enjoyed and cherished the times his eyes were graced with the sight of you.

the two of you had never spoken, only sharing quick glances as you passed by one another–both opposites. you were a beach bum, kissed by the sun, sand always somewhere on you, and the lingering note of the sea deep within your veins. while he was a football player, jerseys, parties and frats, sorority girls, and drunken nights.

but did no-one ever tell you guys that opposites attract?

the whole class had planned a beach trip, which you were obviously going to go. you could spend hours soaking in the sun, the salty breeze brushing past you, or your toes beneath the sand as you collect shells. a favorite pastime of yours which had led up to a huge collection, taking up most of the space on top of your dresser.

almost everybody came, a bonfire lit beneath the moonlit night. what hadn't crossed your mind was that it was a party–that's all people ever threw. a red solo cup was clenched between your fingers–that matched your swimsuit–a blunt in the other. the smell of weed and the ocean filled your senses every time you took a breath.

girls littered around in their bikinis, you were as well, and guys in their swim-trunks. but nobody went into the water. the air was crisp and somewhat warm, the blazing fire being the cause. taking a drag of the herbs between your fingertips, a calming sensation washed over you. blowing the smoke out, you didn't realize someone was in front of you.

“oh! i'm so sorry, i didn't see you.” your hand swats away the smoke from their face, you were hardly able to make out who they were.

dean stared at you, his eyes trailing over your form. his mouth hung open a bit, almost as if he was love-struck. to him you were the epitome of beauty, even more so in barely any clothes.

“uh hello?” your eyes focus and you finally get a glimpse of who it was–dean winchester.

your body acts on instinct and backs up. a confused look etches itself onto your features. you down the rest of your drink, not even sure what it was.

“dean, what do you want?” your voice is slightly hoarse, thanks to the alcohol and smoke that entered your lungs not too long ago. the joint still burning in your grasp.

“you know my name?” he asked you, his piercing green eyes lighting up, softening in the process.. 

was he stupid? who didn't know his name, was a star football player. most girls would practically throw themselves at him if he probably hadn't already gotten in their pants.

“yea..? who doesn't. now what do you need, dean.” smoke fills your lungs as your lips wrap around the paper.

dean's first thought was how plump your lips were, how your eyelids fluttered shut as you took a breath.

“you're beautiful, y'know? like a mermaid.” he blurts out, ears flushed a pink color when he realizes what he had just said.

“i'm sorry that–” you cut him off, a low chuckle escaping you. which to him was the best song he'd ever heard.

“dean, it's okay. it was rather cute actually.” your cheeks heat up, registering what he had said.

you weren't really complimented often and when you were, you didn't pay any mind to them. but from him? from dean? you'd listen and absorb every word.

especially when he looked like a love-sick puppy saying them. for being so popular you would've thought he'd been more–confident.

you ate your words right back up because without a second thought he laced his fingers with yours. pulling you along with him, back to where everyone was gathered. back to the bonfire.

so, you sat beside him for the rest of the night. head rested on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you.

he was moving fast, every few minutes he'd kiss the top of your head, whispering a few words of how pretty you were. even when your classmates gathered their belongings and put out the fire.

the two of you still sat hip-to-hip, stuck like glue. a smile on both your faces as the waves crash against each other in a frenzy. his thumb rubbing circles on your thigh.

as the sun began to rise, evidence of how long you guys stayed together on the beach, he turned to you and spoke,

“I have a 12 pack in the back of my car, if you're in for some day-drinking?” dean asked with a wolfish grin, his youthful face bright and happy.

you nodded, standing up with shaky legs from all the sitting and followed him. the birds squawked and the sand moved between your feet. finding yourself with someone who you didn't know you needed.

dean's mind was fuzzy, full of you. you were just what he needed in his life. a breath of fresh air–fresh salty air if you will. he was in love and nobody was going to take that away from him, not his dad, not sam, not hunting…

sunny yaps! HIII! i love stanford!dean SOOO i decided to write for himmmm! I LOVE THE OPPOSITES ATTRACT TROPE soooo badddd like OH EM GEE! so again I WROTE THIS INTO IT! PLEASE LMKK HOW U GUYS FEEL ABOUT ITT! theres no kissing or anything smutty just SWEET FLUFF!! buttttt if you'd like me to continue with this THEN PLEASE TELL MEEE COMMENTS ARE SOOO APPRECIATED!

special tags! @bluemerakis @figthoughts lmk if u wanna be tagged also!! 😽

@floralscented for inspo/concept of stanford!dean

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ® 𓂃 do not repost or copy my works without permission!!

[negrowhat]

Fave Kisses of 2024

Continuing on with the handful of prompts I chose to do from @babyangelsky 's 2024 QL Wrap Up!

JackJoke's First Kiss from Jack & Joker. Oh it was like the tension pot had finally started to boil. Just bubbling and brewing and steam was finally escaping...whistling even. Jack had returned home full on ready to finally confess and Joke, who already KNEW, was sitting there ready to receive his blessing. Oh Joke was so ready for that kiss that he practically climbed into Jack's lap to keep it going. You could see the hunger in Joke's eyes and Jack's eager but gentle approach to the kiss. 10/10.

Dohoe and Juyeong's Snow Kiss from Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. Something about the way they kind of lost themselves in that kiss. I was shocked Dohoe kissed Juyeong out in the open like that, but he was in a different place in his journey so maybe it's not so shocking. Juyeong's hands around Dohoe's waist??? Oh it was my favorite part and my heart all but stopped when Dohoe suddenly came to his senses and pulled away.

GreatTyme's Guitar Kiss from 4 Minutes. That soft ass dream kiss from Dr. Tyme's 4 Minutes had me absolutely OBSESSED. Idk it was just so romantic and so sweet and so perfect. I could just feel the warmth coming from the bubble Tyme was dreaming about. Tyme's 4 Minutes is still my absolute fave part of the whole series.

Huai'en and Xiabao's First Kiss from Meet You At the Blossom. I've talked about it and talked about it and talked about it some more. None of y'all are surprised to see this kiss on this list. I don't even need to explain why because I'm sick of explaining lol. Go watch our first ever Uncensored Wuxia BL. Nothing is implied it's all there. Go watch it now! MYATB is from the same writer of My Stand-In if that helps.

Sickly Phaya kisses Tharn from The Sign. That man woke up from a coma (that almost supernaturally killed him), snatched out his IV, and escaped the hospital. And where did he go? Not to go check-in with his lil granny and baby sister! NO! He went to his man's house and shoved his tongue down his throat. Man was white as a sheet and all he wanted to do was get his dick wet. And Tharn just let him. I loved that kiss and the makeout session that followed.

YakDee over shoulder kiss from Wandee Goodday. Pretty certain it was from their last love scene because they were kissing. I don't even remember how the scene went exactly (they fucked so much) but that lil peck over the shoulder was so gorgeous. Yak had his chest pressed to Dee's back and the 'YY' necklace was displayed so clearly. 100/10.

XNamping's High Heat Encounter from Every You, Every Me. That little peck right before things started to heat up. Just a quick lil lip touch to gauge the temperature...y'know see if it's what they both really want. It is. I know X was FREAKING out, couldn't believe he was finally being intimate with his long time crush.

SanVee's final night kiss from Century of Love. I'm a huge fan of the soft cuddly kisses we got from SanVee and that snuggle session we got right before San's last day was my fave. The way San holds Vee to his chest so tightly as they share gentle kisses. The impending doom hanging heavy over their heads. It hurt so fucking good.

RyuZen's Shower Kiss from The Rebound. One thang MeenPing gon do is kiss in a shower and do it right. Meen's giant ass does a great job of making Ping look smol and when you add water to that it is just so visually pleasing. I don't remember much else about the kiss except Ryu was all over Zen and Zen almost couldn't keep up. If we get another MeenPing series I hope it can sit at the top next to Gangster Oppa.

2J Bathroom Kiss from CityBoy_Log. The most recent volume of CBL was really good for 2J. They had just made up after Jihan ghosted Jaejun and IDK how Jihan conned Jaejun into helping him bathe but they do wind up in the tub together, fully clothed though because Jaejun said he was just going to help him wash his hair. And the next thing I know Jihan has Jaejun pressed up against the shower wall. 2J's kisses tend to be very audible and this one was amplified and my gawd those boys can kiss. And when Jaejun slams Jihan against the other wall and they finally share their 'I Love You's I was clutching the pearls. I'm realizing I enjoyed CBL more than I thought.

SunJunior's First Kiss from Caged Again. Oh it was so sweet. Love that they were hiding under the covers. I love that Sun had finally told Junior about him being a panther. That's a big secret to share and it did give me Malec vibes which could also add to my love for the scene. Love that Junior smiled at Sun the whole time. It was a great first kiss during a vulnerable moment for Sun and Junior. Loved how warm and secure it looked under that cover.

To my mutuals, please forgive me if y'all have multiple mentions from this one post...

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 31

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30

1.6k words

There’s a difference between knowing it’ll be 2.5 days of travel to Zen’s village and then truly understanding what 2.5 days of travel on foot actually feels like. At least Zen is trying to make it as easy as possible.

(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)

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Two and half days was not an accurate estimate for how long it would take to get to Zen’s village.

“How much farther is it?” you asked Zen. He had warned you that it usually took him two and a half days to get to his village, but that was walking at his pace. At this point you were kicking yourself for not taking him up on his offer to borrow a horse for you from the royal stables. You had never ridden a horse before and did not want to look silly trying to learn how to on the fly, but that would have been preferable to all this walking at least.

“We are only a few hours outside the city, though at this rate it will take quite a bit longer to get there” he pointed out.

You groaned, somehow it did not sink in before when he told you how long it would take.

“We can stop and rest” he offered.

“We just stopped a little while ago. If we keep stopping so much we’ll never get there.”

“We will get there eventually, and I would rather take our time instead of having you drop dead, so how about we take a break?”

You grumbled your agreement and let Zen unpack some water and food for lunch. It was simple, just some dried fish and other meats, some fruit, and some incredibly dry, dense bread.

“I do not really like it either” he commented as he watched you gnaw at the chunk of bread, “It is an orc thing, and not very good, but it lasts well when traveling.”

You curled up on his lap after both of you were done with lunch, not caring that you were already overheating and Zen was always practically a furnace. Between the heat and all the walking you were exhausted. Without saying anything he leaned back and kept you against his chest until he was entirely laying down. You may have been sticky and sweaty, but he did not seem to care as you laid on top of him.

After an accidental nap and lunch you did feel a bit refreshed though, once more winding your way through the plains with Zen.

“There is a small village on the coast about a day from here, we could stop there and see if they have anyone sailing north we could go with” Zen said.

“Anything to speed this up” you nodded. He might have been used to all this traveling and walking, but you sure were not.

Zen ended up carrying you for a good portion of the rest of the day, though not until after you protested heavily about not needing to be toted around like a child. Regardless, it went much faster at his pace.

As the sun set Zen sat you down in the little cluster of trees next to stream that he decided would make a good camp for the night. Quickly he busied himself with lighting a fire while he sent you to refill the water skins in the stream. It was so quiet being so far from the city, probably the quietest the world had ever been for you.

The sandy, packed earth of the desert around the city had given way to patchy plains many miles ago, which in turn was now fading into a denser grassland with sporadic trees. While it had been just as hot all day, the temperature now that the sun was nearly down was not dropping as much here at least, the grass was able to insulate and hold on to some of the sun’s warmth.

Dinner was the same sort of basic meal as lunch, the two of you sat close together on the bed roll just relaxing. You had never been so tired even though you had only walked half of the day. Zen, while still tired looking, did not seem nearly as exhausted as you and was just happily leaning on you and resting his chin on top of your head.

You reached up to scratch his head, which just made him pull you onto his lap so he could nuzzle you a bit better.

You could feel your pulse rising in your throat, you had not been out of the city since you were attacked over a month ago and all those feelings were bubbling up. You knew for certain that Zen could protect you, that even way out here that he was more than capable of keeping you safe, but right now it was doing nothing to calm you.

“Hey” his voice was soft in your ear, “Are you alright?”

You just shook your head, unable to find words.

“Talk to me, I can tell something is wrong.”

“It’s just been a while since I left the city.”

Clearly he realized what you meant. He hugged on to you a little tighter, “I have you, I will not let anything ever hurt you again, I promise.”

You buried your face into his chest, trying to block out the world with the smell of incense and the sound of his steady heartbeat. He shifted about under you and laid down, pulling you on your his chest and covering you both with the blanket. Like this his tusks were holding up the blanket, making a little tent.

“I promise it is just you and me out here, and if anything gets close Tsov’ka will let me know.”

You nodded into his chest, not actually feeling any better but you appreciated that he was trying to reassure you.

Sleep did not come easy. Every little sound startled you back awake, which then also seemed to wake up Zen. Each time he would rub your back and sing to you until you fell back asleep.

Morning came too soon and Zen woke you for breakfast, the same simple meal as lunch and dinner yesterday. He looked tired, even if he would not admit it, as the two of you set off following the stream to the coast.

“Oh wow” you said. It was not like the rocky, cliff side coast that you knew back home. The water was not gray and churning, instead it was clear and smooth, and the beach was just flat sand littered with shells.

“Have you seen the ocean before?” he asked.

“Not like this, it’s so calm and bright.”

“Come, how about we walk on the shore then.”

You packed your shoes into Zen’s bag and walked where the sea met the land. Gentle waves ran over your feet while you kept bending down to pick up shells, the hem of your skirt was getting wet but you did not care, you were having fun. Zen held onto the shells you found, carefully tucking your newly found treasures into the pockets of his bag.

“I promise there will be more shells when went get to my village, we still need room in my pack for our clothes” he kissed the top of your head and helped you pack the last of your shells for now.

On the soft sand you quickly got tired as you struggled to keep from sinking into it with every step. Zen on the other hand seemed to have no problem with staying on top of it and soon you ended up with him carrying you once more.

In the distance the first few structures emerged from the horizon, steadily growing in size until it was a small village in the distance. It was not much, maybe a dozen or so houses right on the shore centered around a large fire pit, but it was civilization and possibly the chance to sail the rest of the way to Zen’s village.

Immediately several people flocked around the two of you, chatting with Zen in his tongue and looking at you with curiosity. After a few minutes you were both being ushered to sit down around the fire and being handed food, it was a nice change from the dried rations you had for the last few meals.

“They seem friendly, people you know?” you asked.

“I think I have met a few people here in passing, but no one I know well” he said, “But it does look like there is a few fishermen who planned on sailing north tomorrow morning that we can go with. It will not get us all the way to my village, but we will only be about half a day away then.”

It was nice seeing Zen interacting with everyone, people who were strangers he seemed to talk to like old friends. Periodically he paused to translate and fill you in, though most of it went over your head; updates on other villages or people, chatting about aspects of his culture you did not have analogues for, but it was all the same to you. Really you were feeling to tired to socialize anyway and it was just nice to see him looking so relaxed and happy.

He always seemed happier speaking his own language. He gestured with his hands a lot in his language, unlike when he spoke human common. His pitch and inflection seemed to vary a lot more than when he spoke common versus his relatively flat common, he was just so much more animated.

You leaned against him to get his attention, “Teach me your language.”

“Orcish would be more useful for you, more people speak it back in the city” he said.

“I want to talk to you, like this” you gestured vaguely around, “I like listening when you talk, I want to be able to hear how you really talk and sound.”

You could feel how hard he was purring just from where you where leaning on his arm.

He leaned his head down and nuzzled the top of yours, “Then I would be very happy to teach you.”

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Part 32

Tag list

@blushycadaver @mochalyluv @hazyspacefairy @littlelovebug98 @tufflepuff23 @lets-imagineastory @emonatural191 @after-laughter-come-tears @plathsotherib @krayziee @zaqnette @graveblanketgreen @lovingbadguys @nogoatsnoglori @bunnibabylilly @selfindulgenthoe @dij-ology

[sageskiesf1]

Okay, Love you Bye - Lando Norris

Chapter one

Primrose’s heels clicked against the pavement as she finally arrived at the Imola paddock, a few minutes later than she wanted (and everyone expected). Alexandra stood nearby, waving her over with a bright smile, while Charles Leclerc and Lando Norris were already in conversation not far off.

Alexandra grinned. “Finally! You’re late, as always.”

Primrose threw up her hands, flashing a mischievous smile.

“Late? No, no. I prefer to think of it as fashionably late. It builds suspense.”

Alexandra rolled her eyes but laughed. “You’re impossible.”

Primrose glanced toward Charles and Lando. “And who’s this? Your racing buddies?”

Charles waved politely. “Hey, Prim. This is Lando.”

Lando gave a charming smile and a quick nod. “Hey. Alexandra’s told me a bit about you.”

Primrose arched an eyebrow. “Oh really? Hope it’s good things.”

Lando shrugged, smirking. “Depends. Bit chaotic. Had enough time to speak about you, being late and all.”

Primrose crossed her arms, feigning offense. “Late? Chaotic? Me? I’m practically a walking zen garden. And sarcasm is just my love language.”

Charles chuckled, shaking his head. “She can be incredibly intimidating too. But in a good way. But mostly when shes annoyed- it is in a bad way.”

Lando’s grin widened. “Intimidating? Now that’s interesting. I’m not scared of anyone.”

Primrose caught his gaze, sharp and playful. “You should be.”

Lando laughed. “Challenge accepted.”

Alexandra stepped between them, sensing the electric back-and-forth. “Alright, enough chemistry for one afternoon. Prim, come on, let’s get you that coffee before you combust.”

Primrose smirked, shooting one last look at Lando. “Save some of that bravado for the track, Norris.”

Charles shook his head with a laugh. “You two are going to have a lot of fun.”

___________

Primrose and Alexandra weaved through the bustling paddock, the smell of espresso and fresh leather mixing with the hum of engines nearby.

“I need caffeine,” Primrose sighed, her delicate fingers clutching her handbag as she tried to shake off the fatigue from an early start. “This ballet break is apparently exhausting in a different way.”

Alexandra smiled knowingly. “I get it. The paddock’s a different kind of chaos.”

They reached a small coffee stand, and Alexandra ordered two strong espressos. “You need to fill me in, we need proper catch up with whats going on, and why you suddenly have a week off.”

Primrose looked at her friend and rested her head briefly against the cool metal of the stand, she caught sight of Charles and Lando nearby, chatting quietly but with a hint of amusement, distracting her from Alex’s words.

Across the way, Lando leaned in slightly. “So, Charles, what’s the story with Primrose?”

Charles laughed softly. “Ah, she’s... a bit of a tornado. Beautiful chaos wrapped in ballet slippers.”

Lando smirked. “Sounds like my kind of trouble.”

Charles shook his head. “Don’t be fooled. She’s sharp — and intimidating if you don’t keep up. But she’s a good friend. Alexandra’s known her a while.”

Lando’s eyes twinkled. “I like that. Someone who keeps people on their toes. And Alexandra clearly trusts her.”

“Yeah, shes a good one, very vulnerable under all the layers and i mean- theres a lot.. shes a lot, but has the kindest soul, a good friend to alex,” Charles said, glancing toward where Primrose and Alexandra were now sipping their coffees, “but don’t underestimate the chaos part.”

Lando grinned.

——————

Short but sweeeeeet i hateeee first chapters sorry sorry

Eeeek im so excited

[eggiesins]

Finally thought of an idea to send: bachelors taking care of a drunk builder it kinda plays off ur first set of headcanons and I thought that would be cute lol I'll probably ask for the ladies later but I don't wanna overwhelm you right now

Ehehehe, y'all anons are just the gift that keeps on giving. Apologies for my garbage mental health recently, but I finally managed to power through this one. Let me know if y'all like it or dislike it or disagree entirely, 'cause there's just so much to dig into with these characters.

Mild? NSFW below

For the most part, I treated the bachelors as sober

PSA: Don't be like me. Please learn to drink responsibly

Anyway! No further ado, headcanons for the bachelors taking care of a drunk builder are below the cut :)

Arvio

You're drunk, and this is Arvio we're talking about. Supervision flies right out the window if he's gonna be your DD. That said! He would be a ton of fun while taking care of his drunk builder. If you're more of the runner type, he's right next to you helping to cook up the next step of whatever wild scheme you've got going. If you're a messy drunk, he's the one laughing and holding your purse/drink/tie/whatever. Even if you're throwing up in a corner, he's gonna be right there holding your hair the entire time, while desperately trying not to gag himself.

Most likely, even if he is the assigned DD, he's gonna end the night drunk right next to you lmao. Y'all are gonna stumble back to the workshop together & end up passed out on the floor, just a couple of hot messes. He doesn't know any of the best practices for dealing with a drunk person (keeping them hydrated, knowing when to get them to bed, de-escalating emotional outbursts, signs of alcohol poisoning, etc) so he's just gonna fly by the seat of his pants and assume everything will turn out okay. You're the hero of Sandrock after all! Why wouldn't you be able to handle one too many yakmel milks?

Burgess

He's gonna try; he really is. Let's hope his builder is one of the lovey dovey or sleepy drunks 'cause otherwise, I'm not quite sure Burgess has it in him to really wrangle a more active drunken builder. I love the guy, but as a person very well versed in getting drunk people to sleep, I just don't think he has enough of the spine for it. He can coax and reason all he wants, but herding drunk people is like herding donkeys. It takes a certain level of assertiveness and physical strength to pull off.

That being said, I think end-game Burgess has way better odds. Once he really starts to blossom in his role as Minister, he's gonna really come into his own, and could potentially become the ultimate drunk whisperer. Like, I tend toward the belligerent/runner side of drunk, but even if I was shitfaced on a sidewalk, if Minister Burgess came up to me with his fancy hat and his completely zen soul, I'd listen to anything and everything that man said, no argument.

Ernest

Oh he's narrating in his head the entire time. His builder is gonna be riding a mechanical yakmel or something and he's soliloquizing about the way their hair shines in the garish bar lighting, the wild glint of freedom in their eye as they finally let loose and have fun amidst all the darkness in the world. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, but I definitely think Ernest is no stranger to partying from his time back in Atara growing up with Luna, so despite what you may infer from his being an author, I do think he's very well acquainted with party scenes and drinking, even if he isn't particularly inclined to be the star of the show himself. So he'd be one of the more laid-back bachelors when it comes to taking care of a drunk builder, simply because he has the experience to know when to step in and how to handle a situation if things start to get too rowdy. He knows it's all just about having fun, so even if he has to be the sober one, he's gonna have fun too!

He'll flirt with his drunk builder and get them blushing like crazy both because it's fun and because it makes it easier to get them to drink water and sleep later on. Plus, when you're drunk, you absolutely love the off-the-cuff sonnets he can come up with, no matter how terrible they are. That's probably his favorite bit, tbh. He loves having a captive audience of one where he can be free to just be creative.

Fang

Our grumpy, mother-hen KING. He's getting them to drink water and go to sleep, no ifs ands or buts about it. Again, don't make him tap the sign. He'll try to go about it all nice and lovey at first. "Come on Swan, it's time to go home. You've had enough." But if his builder puts up a fight? (Not a physical one, obviously) I could see him sneaking up behind them with a well-placed acupuncture needle and boom, they're out cold. Like the dead ragdoll Peter Griffin meme? That's the builder, watched over by a very grumpy & irritated doctor. He knows exactly how much of a toll heavy drinking can have on the body, and alcohol poisoning is especially dangerous in those cases. Even with modern IV drips and stomach pumping, alcohol poisoning can often be lethal, so given the lack of medical technology in Sandrock, Fang isn't taking any risks.

That being said, if his builder doesnt' tend to go overboard with the drinking, like in more of a casual social atmosphere than hardcore partying, he'd be very amused! He likes the way you get all giggly and cute with X, just going back and forth being downright silly.

Justice

If he's sober, he's in sheriff mode for sure. "You sure about another drink there partner? Let's try some water first." He's still very good natured about it, though. Sometimes you just wanna kick back and have some fun, and Justice definitely understands that. Like Ernest, he's a very laidback drunken babysitter. Regardless of his own self-doubts about living up to B3's example, he knows he can handle one drunk builder at the very least. Plus, that's his honorary Civil Corps member! It's a relationship built on the kind of trust you can only have with someone you've Seen Some Shit with. When compared to battling Geeglers and Duvos, you getting drunk is pretty much an inconvenience at worst.

Even if he's not the one drinking, he still wants to have fun with you, and he loves how much you absolutely crack up at his dad jokes when you're drinking. He'll wanna spend the night out on the dance floor with you, making lame jokes, giggling over nonsense, maybe even some light pranks on Owen or something.

Logan

Grumpiest babysitter ever. How come he's gotta be the sober one this time? It's not like Rambo doesn't know the way back to the workshop. Though, he is gonna be very entertained if his builder is more on the belligerent side of drunk. Let me cook real quick. You're in a committed relationship, you're drunk, and some random tourist decides tonight is gonna be his lucky night. You're not feeling it and you do try to be polite at first, but the guy is pretty insistent. It's not gonna take long for Logan to make his way over, but before he can even get in close, you're already going off on the dude, letting him know exactly what you think and asking him if he really wants to take this outside. You've taken down far worse than Some Guy, and as soon as Logan realizes you're gonna chew him up and spit him out, the absolute SMUGGEST grin you can imagine is gonna be plastered all over his face. You'll walk back over to Logan, look at the guy and be like, "This is what big dick energy looks like, get tf outta here," and bro is gonna be doing his best not to take you straight back to the workshop and lay you down big style right then and there

If his builder goes too far, he's definitely just throwing them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes to take home. Like, is Logan a lovey dovey little ball of fluff for his builder? Oh yes, but he's also a man of small patience, so if he sees things getting a little too out of hand, he's going full bouncer mode. He doesn't care if the whole saloon is filled with townies watching on in shock and amusement, he's tossing you over a shoulder and hauling you home. Just try not to throw up on him. Either way, he'll be less grumpy in the morning when you're hungover and he can tease you about it even as he brings you painkillers and water. "Ya just had to be the life of the party, huh?"

Miguel

He's gonna be a bit judgy about it honestly, but of course will treat it like it's his duty as a pastor and as the builder's lover to make sure that they stay safe and drink enough water. He's definitely the type to just try and herd them home as soon as he realizes how drunk they are. Good luck with a belligerent builder, Miguel. They don't go down easy.

"Alright Builder, it is time we head back home for the evening."

"Not yet Miguel, you gotta try one of Owen's blowjobs!"

Pastor.exe has stopped working. Once he realizes it's a type of shot, he's gonna be so relieved he actually tries it, no hands and all. He hates the taste, but can't deny that he does actually like being a little bit tipsy. If y'all are romancing Miguel, please teach this man how to let loose and have a little fun, for the love of Peach. Taking things too seriously is exactly how he got mixed up with Duvos, so help him find a more balanced approach to life.

Owen

Will swap your vodka for water, and when you let him know your drink doesn't quite taste right, he's gonna play so dumb you think you're the one who forgot what alcohol tastes like.

If you get too drunk, he's just gonna stash you in a room at the Saloon to recover. That way, at least in the morning he'll be close by to help you with your hangover the next morning. At first he'll walk in with the thickest, ickiest smelling mysterious green soup to help you finish throwing up & get it all out of your system. Then he'll take pity on you & bring you some extra greasy eggs with toast and fresh yakmel sausage. He won't try to embarrass you or anything, so he'll keep it all pretty discreet if he can. No tossing you around like potatoes like Logan would do, and no hyping you up to do even more shenanigans like Arvio. Owen is very high on empathy, and anyone working in hospitality - especially hotels and inns - understands that discretion is the number one rule for return customers and reputation.

He'll have the most fun just watching you hit the dance floor with reckless abandon, finally letting go of the responsibilities and weight that have plagued you since you arrived in Sandrock. You're a hero to the town, which is awesome, but he understands how much of a burden it is as well, so he'll have the most fun just watching you have fun.

Pablo

Oh honey, be prepared. He's not gonna put his builder in any danger of course, but this is also Pablo, let's be real. He wants drama and entertainment, so he's definitely gonna egg his builder on with whatever ridiculous scheme they're cooking up. You wont remember how it happened, but the photos the next morning are proof enough. He's got pictures of you dancing on the bar, twerking in the booths, a selfie of him holding your hair back as you throw up outside, the whole nine yards.

Don't expect a soft touch from Pablo. He knows as well as you do that you're a grown adult who makes your own choices. And those three extra rounds of tequila shots were definitely your choice. His choice was to document the entire thing so that he can have an entire library of photos titled "My Builder Being an Embarrassing Mess of a Human" and it's the item he's far and away the most proud to own. 100% his most beloved possession.

If you try to protest going to bed, he's gonna match your drama with drama of his own. "Oh such cruelty and injustice in the world has never been seen before as this. My darling, my queen, my muse and light. For a few dreadful hours we shall be parted, that our souls may intertwine somewhere in the distant aether. But part we must my love, for you are fucking drunk."

Pen

"AHAHAHAHA Oh Skinny, Skinny, Skinny. Your tolerance is as tiny as your cute little arms. Good thing you have your dedicated Protector here to look after you." As much as he would want to talk himself up, given his lack of body fat & tendency toward grandiosity, I put his actual tolerance at like, 4 drinks before he's seeing double. He's the friend that condescendingly offers to drink for you in games only to end up absolutely shitfaced after the first few rounds. So I don't really see there being a drunk builder without a drunk Pen soon afterward. He's not a super…nurturing person normally so being drunk with Pen would just be nigh unstoppable shenanigans I think. It'll be like 3am and y'all are four yakmel milks deep out in the desert facing off against boxing jacks mano e mano.

Once you start throwing up though, he's right back in hero mode, just drunk off his ass like "Skinny! Babe! Even your pukes are so tiny and cu-" he'll start gagging a little bit once the idea actually realizes itself in his head. So of course, it's time to bail. He's scooping you up quick & rushing back to the dorms by the church so he can wake Burgess up to tend to the both of you. Does it matter that Burgess has a sermon to deliver in less than 3 hours? No.

He would really like a playfully drunk builder, like one who would laugh and hang off his flexing biceps, giggling as you dangle in the air. Really, an affectionate and fun drunk builder would stroke his peepee ego in a way that no one else could, and he lives for that high. Sure you're drunk, but you've never thought he was more awesome in your life than right now, and that definitely works for him.

Qi

"Ugh, inebriation is one of those colloquial traits I have never been able to fully understand. Where is the appeal in deadening the most brilliant tools we have?"

"Qi, when we get home I think I'm gonna eat you alive and then sleep for a week." Cue the builder leaning over to not-so-quietly whisper all the things they wanna do to him in his ear. As soon as you mention some particularly creative ways to involve the mobile suit, he's rushing y'all out of there faster than a summer sandstorm.

On the whole, he's gonna be concerned, but rather hands off about it. He knows he doesn't have the upper body strength to carry you home, so he'll do his best to employ preventative measures instead. He's asking Owen to help cut you off, or for Justice to cart you home. He's not really sure how best to help a drunk person, so if you try to avoid going to sleep, he'll just talk about stars in that soft professor voice he does until you just pass out. Will he be a bit miffed that his lecture lulled you to sleep? Oh for sure. Qi is always miffed about something. But he'll look down at you while you're knocked out, already drooling on the pillow, and against all odds (he calculated them himself), he thinks it's adorable.

Unsuur

For the love of GOD, give this man a lovey dovey drunk partner omg. Half his conversations with a lovey drunk are just gonna go like "Unsuur, you're so amazing you know that? With all the rocks and shit, you're just adorable." "Thank you, no one's ever said that to me before. I've never thought of Wilson as adorable before, but now that you mention it, he kinda is. Not sure how my poops are cute, though."

For all the missed social cues, he's still a Civil Corps officer though, and won't hesitate if his builder gets too drunk. Before they know it, he's somehow already got them drinking water and in bed (autistic rizz). He's not gonna be particularly phased by a drunk builder, but a more belligerent drunk might catch him by surprise. Not that like, you're trying to fistfight him or anything, but just that you're arguing so much and for no reason. You'll bump into a bumbleant or something on the way home and start lecturing the poor creature on proper manners, and kids these days don't raise their pets right, a whole thing. Internally, Unsuur's gonna be confused as hell, but externally he's just gonna agree. "For all we've learned from humanity's greatest mistakes, we just don't make 'em like Wilson anymore," with a somber shake of his head. Unsuur is a man who can commit to the bit, and that goes for a drunk builder as well. Whatever bit they're on, he's finding a way to go with the flow.

[mimicschest]

Things that irritate me about Modern Stoic discourse

Stoicism is a philosophy; a fully realized one that is older than Christianity by hundreds of years. You can read it yourself if you want full details. In both online discourse and in the general public consciousness there are two things that annoy me when people talk about it:

The colloquial use of stoic and stoicism. It is almost an absurdest parody of what stoicism actually is based on a game of telephone and poor understanding of highly specific ancient terms. Sort of how like people will casually use zen in a way that is completely unrelated to Zen Buddhism.

The Stoic Self-Help manosphere, secret-to-successful-business bullshit. Given that one of the stated axioms of stoicism is that "Virtue is the Sole Good", and the heavy focus on trying to live an ethical life no matter your material circumstances, this stuff lies in almost an Anathema stat to what stoicism actually teaches, based on cherry-picked stuff picked out by snake-oil salesmen trying to scam you. Ironically, this has been a problem since at least ancient rome, as both Seneca and Epictetus complain about these type of people.

Let me break it down; First, the understanding of "Passion" and "Apathy" is flawed. Passion(Stoicism) =/= Passion(English). A passion in stoicism is an emotional reaction that prevents you from acting in an Ethical manner. These are things like; Greed, Hate, Jealousy, Misdirected Anger, All-consuming ambition. These feelings, in moderation, are fine. You can set them aside if they interfere with ethical behavior. It is when they are the primary drive of a person that they become "Passions". Likewise, Apathos literally means 'without passions'. It is an unobtainable ideal that one strives for; it is not being apathetic in the modern English since of the word.

To be Stoic is to relentlessly pursue virtue. To act with courage. To seek justice both for yourself, and others, and the society around you. To become wiser and more learned, and to practice moderation in all things. It is understanding that, anything beyond that is not guaranteed in this flawed world, and that things outside of your own virtue are fundamentally outside your control, regardless of your preference in the matter.

It is not a way to become rich. To grow your business. It is not being emotionless. It is not about setting aside your interests. It is not about not-caring or not loving others around you. It is a multi-millennia old global community and guide to individual self-actualization. It may have flaws, and those should be addressed, but criticism or praise based around fundamental misconceptions of its nature are both unproductive and poisonous to the broader dialogue.

[boyjumps]

"If not now, when will you do it?" = Now "If not here, where?" = Here "If you don't do it, who will?" = Self

In Zen teachings, the three key words are ‘now’, ‘here’ and ‘self’. In other words, the only thing that human beings have to live for is that I am alive here and now. I have no choice but to do my best to do that.

This idea of ‘now’, ‘here’ and ‘myself’ was born out of the experience of Zen Master Dogen (Ref), who founded the Soto Zen sect in Japan, in China, where he went for training:

One day, Zen Master Dogen saw an elderly monk drying shiitake mushrooms. The monk, who was working silently under the blazing sun without a hat, was said to be a very old man. Zen Master Dogen said to him, ‘Why are you so old to be drying shiitake mushrooms? Why don't you let the younger ones do it? The monk replied, ‘The other is not me’.

Just because someone else did it doesn't mean it was done by him. He was doing what he was supposed to do. He meant that it's your life, so you can't ask someone else to do it for you.

Zen Master Dogen repeated.

“Anyway, there's nothing to do in such harsh sunlight? It would be better to do it after the sun has dimmed a little more...''

“Why wait for another time?” 

The old monk replied. It means that even if you wait for the time and say you'll do it later, when will that time come? That time will never come.

Now, here, and self, I have no choice but to live my life to the fullest, always thinking of each moment as a "critical moment."

It is only three words, but it is not easy to be said than done. That is why ordained Zen monks spend their entire lives in ascetic practice. There are times when you can do it today but not tomorrow. Today you may believe in a small possibility, but the next day you may regret the past and feel depressed. Reveal all those things as ‘that's me’ and ‘that's human’ and don't worry about it.

“Don’t worry. Live fully in the present. Because whatever happens, happens.”

[serenastark-official]

🖤✨ 02: How to Not Ship People: A PSA from Serena Stark ✨🖤

Alright, Tumblr, we need to talk. Specifically about the very weird habit some of you have of shipping me with literally everyone I’ve ever shared air with—and I mean everyone—from Stephen to Wong to TONY to Peter to Dani to Laurya (like, seriously??).

And no, this isn't a "How to Ship Serena Stark" guide (because apparently, everyone on here thinks they’re qualified to play matchmaker)

Understand the Basics of Platonic Relationships

Not every interaction means romance, folks. Sometimes, people can just...I don’t know...exist in the same room without being soulmates.

For example:

Stephen Strange? My best friend and highly respected mentor. Not my boyfriend. Not my soulmate. Last time I checked, calling someone “Old Man Wizard” every five minutes isn’t exactly romantic. I can’t even get through a conversation without him lecturing me on the multiverse and responsibility. Romance level: zero. Also, he calls me “kid,” so that’s basically “I’m your dad now” territory.

Tony Stark? That’s my dad, y’all. MY DAD. Did we skip basic human decency 101? This isn’t Game of Thrones. Sit down.

Wong? Look, I respect the guy. Love him even (in a totally platonic way). But the man is way too busy dealing with magical disasters to worry about me. Plus, I’m not about to ruin his zen vibe. We’re too busy exchanging takis, not vows.

Peter Parker? Do you people hear yourselves when you type? Peter can’t even win a staring contest with me—how would he handle dating me? As I said already, he's my too-kind-to-be-a-real-kid brother.

Daniella Romanoff? Practically my sister. (Though she could definitely crush me in a fight, I’m not even gonna lie.) She’s got enough trauma to handle, she doesn’t need me adding fuel to the shipping fire.

Laurya? I can practically hear you all— “Oh, they’re so close! It’s so obvious! Sisterly love... or, y’know, whatever!” NO. She is literally my sister in arms, not in love. If she were reading this right now, she’d be laughing so hard, she’d probably throw a shoe at me. So let’s not, okay?

Bruce Banner? Bruce Banner and me? Are you seriously trying to make that work? Listen, I’m all for the science nerds’ club (believe me, I’m practically a founding member), he’s in the “dad” zone with Tony and Stephen. I don’t need a third one of those.

What next? Are you going to ship me with Jeff, the land shark?!

Now that I’ve screamed into the void, here’s your 101 on how NOT to ship people (especially me):

Step 1: Don't Assume Every Glance = Love Story

Just because I looked at someone for more than 2 seconds doesn’t mean I’m secretly planning our wedding. I could be judging them. I could be plotting their demise. Or I could just be zoning out because I’m thinking about pasta. You don’t know.

Step 2: Don’t assume everything is subtext.

Just because I exchange sarcastic banter with someone doesn’t mean I want to kiss them. Sometimes, I’m just being me. (Which, let’s be honest, is fabulous enough without adding romance into the mix.)

You don’t marry everyone you talk to. Shocking, right? Sometimes, people just have good friendships. Not every bond needs a kiss at the end. I know, mind-blowing.

Step 3: Stop Projecting Your Ships Onto Others

I get it, shipping is fun. But hold your horses. Ask yourself:

Is this ship actually plausible, or am I just bored?

Have I considered how weird this might be for the people involved?

Would Serena personally come for me for this? (Hint: Yes.)

If you can’t explain it without sounding like a total creep, then just… don’t. My life isn’t your rom-com script, and I’m not auditioning for a Netflix special.

Step 4: Respect Boundaries

If I say “No,” it’s a no. If I roast the ship in public, it’s definitely a no. Stop trying to make me and Tony a thing. That’s therapy-inducing territory, and I already have enough on my plate.

Me and Stephen = Two sarcastic nerds saving the multiverse.

Me and Peter = Sibling energy with a side of web-based competition.

Me and Tony = Snark battles + family dinners.

Me and Laurya = Sisterhood, no strings attached.

Me and Dani = Chaos and platonic love, no ships allowed.

Me and Wong = Team Sorcery and food buddies. (he has a lot of takis in the Sanctum, if you'd be more responsible about your ship, I'd give you some)

Me and Bruce = Science buddies and, he’s already got enough on his plate with, y’know, the Hulk and being an honorary member of the “dad” squad.

Step 5: Focus On YOUR Ships

If you’re feeling the itch to ship someone, look in the mirror. Find your own love story. Or ship Jeff the Land Shark with world domination; he’s working on it anyway.

Step 6: Put that energy to better use.

Instead of shipping me with everyone I’ve ever breathed near, how about you create fanfic where I absolutely obliterate HYDRA agents in a beautifully dramatic showdown?

In conclusion:

Stop it. Get some help. If you keep shipping me with random people, I’ll find you. And I’ll make you explain yourself to my face. Let’s stop pretending every time I make eye contact with someone, we’re about to enter a rom-com montage. Please, for the love of all things sarcastic and logical, stop.

[julie09tarot]

Choose a pile.

Pile 1

You're in a state of mental exhaustion (4 of Swords reversed), but instead of allowing yourself to rest, you might be stuck in an overactive mind, lost in possibilities and daydreams (7 of Cups). There's a feeling that, should this continue, you might become disconnected from your inner sense of abundance and creativity (The Empress reversed).

The Dream card from the Osho Zen deck suggests an emotional longing, perhaps an idealized vision of happiness or connection that feels out of reach, which aligns well with the 7 of Cups. Meanwhile, Playfulness invites you to break free from overthinking by reconnecting with joy, humor, and spontaneity. The Eel & Isis (Safety) from the Woodland Wardens deck tell us about the need for emotional and energetic protection - right now, it's crucial to create a sense of inner security before making major decisions.

Altogether, this reading suggests that you might be caught in wishful thinking rather than taking grounded action. Your challenge is to step out of a cycle of exhaustion and uncertainty by embracing lightness, playfulness, and self-care. Don’t let indecision and overthinking keep you stuck! Instead of looking for the "perfect" path, focus on small, joyful actions that bring you into the present moment. Even small steps can help you reconnect with yourself and your inner strength.

Affirmations

I release the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of the present moment.

I allow myself to rest, recharge, and trust that clarity will come in time.

I am safe, supported, and capable of creating joy in my life.

Pile 2

Oof. You're going through a challenging period emotionally. The 4 of Wands reversed suggests instability—perhaps a disruption in your sense of security, home, or relationships. The 3 of Swords confirms it: heartache, disappointment, or painful realizations. However, the King of Cups is your anchor! This is crucial. This is the energy of emotional mastery, resilience, and wisdom. Even in pain, you have the ability to remain relatively equanimous and compassionate with yourself and others - not by pushing feelings away, but by dealing with them more masterfully.

The Totality card from the Osho Zen deck highlights the importance of trust and being fully present, even when things feel uncertain. Meanwhile, Patience reminds you that healing and resolution take time. Lastly, the Boar & Pumpkin (Confidence) from the Woodland Wardens deck urges you to stand strong and trust in your own endurance—you are capable of navigating this.

This reading acknowledges that things might be hard right now, but it also reassures you that with patience, emotional balance, and self-confidence, you will get through it. Lean into the qualities of the King of Cups—stay emotionally steady, practice self-compassion, and don’t let pain dictate your actions. Trust the process. Confidence and patience will carry you through.

Affirmations

I honor my emotions without letting them control me.

Healing takes time, and I trust in my ability to move forward.

I am strong, resilient, and capable of overcoming challenges.

Pile 3

There's a sense of recklessness or naïveté here (The Fool reversed). This could mean rushing into things without proper consideration, avoiding responsibilities, or feeling like you don't have a clear direction. However, Temperance calls for balance, patience, and moderation - finding the middle path. The Knight of Cups suggests that emotional depth, intuition, and even a romantic or idealistic approach can serve as guiding forces.

The Ripeness card from the Osho Zen deck indicates that something in your life is ready - you just need to approach it with calm rather than impulsiveness. Possibilities reminds you that there are expansive opportunities ahead, but they require - as was said - calm, clarity and patience. Finally, the Bat & Hellebore (Intuition) from the Woodland Wardens deck reinforces the need to trust your inner guidance instead of just rushing blindly forward (possibly off the cliff edge).

Affirmations

This reading suggests that while you may feel the urge to leap forward without thinking, true success comes from combining enthusiasm with wisdom, calm, intuition, and emotional depth. With these qualities, you’ll be able to seize the right opportunities rather than chasing fleeting and superfluous ones. Slow down and find your center. Recklessness only leads to missteps, but if you embrace patience (Temperance) and intuition (Bat & Hellebore) while keeping an open heart (Knight of Cups), the right opportunities will just unfold naturally.

I trust my intuition to guide me toward the right path.

Patience and balance bring me closer to my goals.

I move forward with wisdom, confidence, and an open heart.

---

5 FREE Mini-Readings per week! 😊 See guidelines here.

👉 Donation-Based Readings - donate what you want and I’ll provide you with a full reading! (examples in link)

[nosebleedsturn]

thirteen ; truth be told

Words: 1,284

friday evening, november 8th, 3:00 pm

vega went back upstairs, finding malerie sitting in camille's seat. vega scoffed, watching mal finish eating camille's unfinished bowl of mac n cheese. "what!" mal cried. "she's not gonna finish it!" malerie continued, spooning more into her mouth. vega shook her head and plopped down onto the couch. "cami crisis averted?" vega nods, reaching over and grabbing mal's spoon, taking some for herself. "i think so."

"that's good. when cami's upset it's like no one gets to be happy." vega nodded in agreement. "i just hope chris isn't gonna be mad at either of us. it was my fault really. i should have told her, it just slipped my mind and we were both so busy. school, her dance practice. everything, it just didn't seem all that important to me."

mal hummed. "there are some thing's that are unimportant to you, that are important to the rest of us v." vega groaned, head resting against the soft couch. "i know, i know... everything has just gotten me a little. overwhelmed lately." cami and malerie liked friday's. friday's were the days that vega went to therapy, and on those days vega was always the most zen. they rarely had arguments on fridays (however the next day vega was just as opinionated as before). they got along better. basically, it was the old vega making an appearance just for a short while and the two girls loved it. It meant that she was in there somewhere, and she just needed to be brought out.

"what happened at therapy today?"

"mhmm. well that's kinda what i wanted to talk to you about. it's a little serious." vega sat up straighter, taking the bowl from malerie. "i'm afraid vega, what's going on?"

"i've been lying to you, and to camille. and my mom and everybody." vega's bottom lip quivered. she tugged gently at her earring, malerie caught notice of this and rested a hand on vega's knee. "whatever you need to tell me, i'm here and i'm listening." malerie promised. vega nodded. "i know. it's... it's daniel."

malerie froze, a quiet gasp falling from between her parted lips. "daniel?"

"we call.. once a month. and he called me yesterday and he asked if i could come visit him..." vega trailed off, not being able to look malerie in the eye. mal stayed silent, a fearful look in her eye. mal wanted nothing more than to beat daniel's ass, but she wasn't a teenager anymore and didn't want to land in prison. she knew she could beat his ass too if she wanted. she's beat up other dudes when she was in high school. maybe they weren't her proudest moments, but they were moments that helped her learn to control her anger after being sent to counselors all throughout her education. she's changed since then, she's able to keep her anger under control. except for when it came to people like daniel. those guys weren't safe around her at all.

malerie's silence made vega continue. "he's being let out on good behavior, but the court wants to make sure i guess, that's he's changed. i called the prison after i left therapy and the guard told me that new york state prison is overfilled and they need to let some criminals go. and i guess that daniel just isn't a top priority criminal."

mal was at a complete loss for words. "and he called you? why?" mal could hardly wrap her head around the information. how can prisons even let people go like that? why couldn't they just send him to a different prison? or better, kill him. maybe not kill him, malerie hasn't had her fist in his face yet. "he wants me to come to the hearing." vega's eyes dropped to her lap. malerie gasped again. "but you're not going right? i won't let you. what does dr. tran have to say about this?"

vega's eye's shifted again. "you haven't told her?"

"no, no i told her today. she said that if i did go, i needed to have some support. someone to make sure that if daniel is released, i won't get stuck there with him. he doesn't know i have friends, that i moved out, that i'm enrolled in a school or that i even graduated high school really. he still thinks i'm a poor helpless girl waiting in my moms house for him to come back and save me."

mal bit the nail cover her thumb. this wasn't good, this wasn't good at all. "i'm afraid if i don't go, he'll go after my mother." vega's shoulder's dropped, tears beginning to pour down her cheeks in fear. "i can't do this malerie!"

"shh, girl it's okay." the two embraced momentarily. "i say we go. you, me, cami. we all go and we tell him to fuck off. if he even tries anything, i'll kill him." malerie decided, a slight huff of laughter falling from her lips to ease the tension. "after the trial, we can have a whole girls day and just go back home and relax, explore, see your monuments." malerie nudged vega. "and you really need to break thing's off with him. i can't believe you never stopped talking to him, vega that's exactly why you still are afraid of him, you talk to him all the time!" malerie figured out. vega groaned, wiping her tears away. "i know, i know."

"maybe once you end thing's with him, you'll feel better vega. you haven't gotten better, because you're still keeping him around." vega's head dropped, she held her head in her hands, shielding herself away from malerie's stare. "i know, i know!"

"and maybe you can move on with somebody else." malerie said slowly, looking to the side. vega gasped, raising up from mal's lap. "you're not talking about who i think you're talking about, because if you were to talk about him-"

"okay, settle, settle... i'm just saying v. he's a great guy, and he lives next door, has a nice job. his fans already think you're togather anyway." vega's face became blank. "don't you think once everything settles with daniel, i should, i dunno, actually be single for a while before immediately jumping into action with another guy!" vega screeched, hiding away again.

malerie chuckled, tugging on vega's rolled up hair, in a bun. "i'm just saying, don't close him out v."

vega's eye twicted when she rose up from malerie's lap. "i don't like matt!" she freaked. malerie groaned, feeling like there was a tantrum coming along. malerie stood up, grabbing her bowl from the table and beginning to walk upstairs. vega trailed behind her, makign sure she heard every word falling from her loud lips. "i will never like matt! he's so annoying, sometimes i think i hate him! and his fans, they baby him too much. he fucking 21 for gods sake!" malerie shoved a spoonfull of mac n cheese into her mouth, climbing the stairs with ease. "i hate him! he acts like a child! have you seen him in the car videos and the podcast clips? he thinks he's so tough!" vega huffed, arms crossing over her chest as she followed malerie upstairs.

"you know what's tough, my foot up his-"

N O S E B L E E D S

-------------------------------------

DOUBLE UPDATE KINDA DAY

Also thanks for 70 followers ily 🫶

I made a big mistake and didn’t schedule this so here it is! (3 hours late I’m sorry!)

[system-of-a-feather]

Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

[negrowhat]

BL Things that Disappointed Me in 2024

I couldn't let this year end without telling y'all about the things that truly let me down this year. Things that brought down my viewing pleasure.

Dr. Plakao from Wandee Goodday. Specifically that he didn't really get some type of real storyline outside of helping Wandee with his troubles. I wanted to see more of his dating and romantic life. We finally got a taste of some Ace representation and we only got crumbs. I just wanted more of his romance with Blue. I did. I really did.

Third from Century of Love. WTF was he even there for? All he did was get attacked by San and then turned around and sheltered the man and helped him lie to his own friend. Did my boy even get a happy ending? I just felt like he was a waste of a good character.

RyuAtomZen from The Rebound. Because we all saw how the series was selling us on a poly situation between Ryu, Atom, and Zen. The chemistry between the three was great and it was clear that their "love triangle" wasn't even a triangle just 3 points in a circle. All the pieces were there. We saw Zen spend time with Ryu and Atom. We saw Atom spend time with Ryu and Zen. And we saw Ryu spend time with Atom and Zen. They practically all slept together throughout the series and Granny was ready to adopt Atom and Ryu. IT WAS RIGHT THERE and the poly relationship wouldn't have been the craziest thing to come from that series let's be fucking real. Let me move on because I'm ranting now lol.

ViMook from Love Sea. Oh they pissed me off and it was really because they dragged on whatever cat and mouse manipulation game ViMook had going on until the very end. There was plenty of time for them to do all that and move on to being actual girlfriends or at least dating before the series ended. Like I loved them together but their entire storyline was not the fucking vibe. Here's to hoping we get more of Chanya and Aya in 2025.

'Khun Dad' from SunsetxVibes. I'm not even going to get into how disappointed I was with the series overall (I don't have the time) but I will talk about how fucking YUCKY it was for Salin to CHOOSE to call Sun 'Khun Dad' throughout the series. This is the ONLY time I've ever been disgusted by a daddy kink because why in THE FUCK would you want to call your man 'Khun Dad'? It was without a doubt the WORST thing about that series. Gag-o-rama.

Tonkla from 4 Minutes. I was upset that he died. He was the only one whose death was not justifiable to me. There were worse people in that series who lived. He could've run away. He could've fled the country with Korn (or not). It was possible. I have strong feelings about Tongkla not surviving after everything he went through.

TattooAran and HopeSave from Jack and Joker. All I'm saying is that as long as those eps were we should've gotten more development with the 2 other side couples. HopeSave were an established couple and we didn't even get a kiss between them?? And why did they make TattooAran so fucking lowkey?? Why did we get played with MarkProm AGAIN??? A beautiful love story could've flowered between them because the material was all there and we got NOTHING. I'm pressed.

Not seeing Mick in the maid costume in Every You, Every Me. A maid costume was mentioned, even teased, so where the fuck was it? Why didn't I see Blue in the maid costume??? They could've given us a taste. Mick would look so amazing in a maid costume.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

How Zen’jan, Ba’tual, and Daz’ai are in the bedroom

Cuddling

Zen- ridiculous touchy. Once he learned that he liked cuddling it’s taking all his restraint to not constantly smother his wife. Sleeping? Cuddling. Just spending time around the house together? Cuddling. After sex? The most cuddling.

Ba- practically allergic to anything actually intimate. Loves hookups but will not cuddle.

Daz’ai- will happily cuddle after a hookup of his partner is fine with it. Will absolutely be the one who initiates the cuddling but doesn’t need it.

Foreplay

Zen- not used to doing it, but happy to do anything needed. He needs to be guided a lot, but he’ll spend all the time needed to make sure his wife is content and ready before doing anything else.

Ba- bare minimum, just whatever is needed so he can get in.

Daz’ai- loves foreplay. He’s got an ego and loves to drag things out for a partner just to hear them praise him. Has tried about everything at least once and is very good at anticipating what will work for someone.

Oral

Zen- very happy to be giving or receiving. Inexperienced and no technique when giving head but makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm.

Ba- has never given head and isn’t about to anytime soon. Wildly interested in getting blown ever since he learned it was an option.

Daz’ai- happy to give or receive. Great at eating pussy or blowing someone, sure tusks get in the way but he’s mastered all the angles. Loves to get blown but understands that most of the time he’s just too big for it.

Preferred positions

Zen- will nearly combust if he doesn’t have the maximum amount of skin contact as possible. Needs to be able to press his forehead against his wife’s and nuzzle, loves missionary or a mating press, though is happy being ridden because he get to look at his wife a lot.

Ba- anything standing. Prefers to bend a partner over a piece of furniture so he can stand up.

Daz’ai- no real preference. He likes variation and will happily choose and change positions as needed and will adapt to whatever is needed.

Aftercare

Zen- is more likely the one to need aftercare. Has a difficult time coming down from high emotion or other intense situations and sometimes will need to be held and assured for a while afterwards.

Ba- nope! If it’s late he might insist that a hookup stay the night if it’s too dark or cold to walk home, but there’s no aftercare from him.

Daz’ai- king of aftercare. Tucks his partner in, gets them water, will rub sore joints and muscles, lots of verbal assurance and checking on them to make sure they’re ok.