#prey problems

[tastylittlepixie]

I've talked about how annoying it can be when you have Super Important Plans and then you get eaten and have to cancel/reschedule (assuming you still have your phone)

but like nothing is more disheartening than getting a text from a friend you were supposed to meet up with telling you they can't make it cause some pred came along and gobbled them up

like first of all I'm jealous but I got all dressed up and came all the way out here for nothing 😔

not that it's the friends fault (most of the time 🙄) but like now what am I gonna do

[safe-from-sharp-teeth]

the real fearplay in vore is the fact that as a prey my JEANS are going to get WET. If you catch me screaming and going full fight in fight-or-flight mode, it's not because you're a terrifying pred, it's because my legs are halfway down your throat and my pants and socks are WET

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

[tiefling-queer]

*gently takes your hands* i need you to accept that white women are just as capable of being radicalized to the far right as white men are on the grounds of being white. white women do not have some mythical higher threshold of community alienation than white men before they fall prey to reactionary thinking.

i desperately need you to understand that women and men live in the same society and have brains that work the same, and white women will fall back on the pillars of white supremacy just as easily as white men do, and that includes the patriarchal elements of white supremacy

[utilitycaster]

re the anti-resurrection poison though like. what the fuck was up with that. Like, I can, as a mediocre DM myself and an avid listener to NADDPod D&D Court understand where it came from: you needed a reason why Will and Derrig were still dead despite Keyleth being there, because that was Orym's backstory, which in turn dated back to Liam's concept for a backup character for Vax, ie, someone who had also lost a partner and would be sent to help Keyleth in the wake of a similar loss. So you come up with the anti-resurrection poison. And this also happens to work out nicely for the climactic solstice battle, because it explains why Keyleth can't just rally after Vax intervenes. It also makes sense as a thing the Ruby Vanguard would have, because of the anti-divine magic and the way that the Weave Mind have similar anti-healing powers.

The problem is, of course, that you've introduced this concept - which is, again, actually very good and elegant and fits in seamlessly - but it's out there and you have to either use it or come up with an excuse not to use it. And you can, I think, legitimately make a case for it not being in play in the Seat of Disdain fight because that came up very suddenly. But then it gets pretty weird that when Bells Hells become a consistent thorn in the Vanguard's side, and Otohan moves from "I need to keep the Ruidusborn alive but fuck everyone else" to "I'm just going to kill them all" and clearly knows they have considerable resurrection resources and access to the rare antidote given Keyleth's return to the stage that she doesn't just coat all weapons with it and nerf all healing to drain their resources.

And anyway this is a consistent problem, of like, there actually was the full setup for the story C3 intended to tell in C1 and C2 and early C3, but to make these entirely unrelated characters actually fit into a pretty specific narrative, you had to add in a bunch of complicated additions. And while some of those were a mess, some were actually really well done, like the initial introduction of the anti-resurrection poison and the gray assassins, and then none of it mattered because they were always just additions to make the core plot fit and there were too many balls in the air so they got dropped without exploration, and anyone paying attention was like "hey you dropped this" and it's like you could have juggled 3 or even 4 or 5 balls adequately, but you had to add in 4 extra balls and ultimately some of them landed on the ground and so the act of barely keeping 3 in the air in the end is undercut by the number you dropped.

[blood-orange-juice]

Considering how in other expansions the leading Harbinger shares thematic similarities with the Archon of that nation, could it be that Venti's thing is actually revenge.

[dinoserious]

im sure thats fine

[happyk44]

Annabeth calling Percy and Grover from some lair she got stuck in because she got curious about something she was told so many times to stop being curious about, so now they gotta go get her, and afterwards Grover sits her down for a lesson on prey animal common sense. Annabeth trying to explain that she is not a goat. Grover pressing his finger to his mouth, gently shushing her before continuing on

Also Percy explaining that this is why he has to follow her on things because she is the cat and curiosity is always ready to kill her. Him gesturing erratically while Grover is setting up his presentation because "Sometimes I wanna follow Grover, Annabeth! But I can't because you keep arguing your way into danger! So I have to follow you down the dark spooky tunnel instead of hanging out with my best friend in the land of rainbows and sunshine"

"what if the land of rainbows and sunshine is a trap"

"I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE YOU KEEP GOING TO THE EFFING TUNNEL"

[sha-brytols]

i am literally not even halfway done with the book but so far i'm not super sure i actually agree with that fandom consensus that celene/briala belong in the "bioware writers are weird about gay women" category. so far the only thing celene has in common with marjolaine and branka is that she was a VERY BAD lover

[helioptilie]

the thing about my lady jane is you figure the mysterious young lord we meet in a shapeshifter bar will be revealed as a shapeshifter himself, but you’re not sure yet if they’re going for a beauty and the beast vibe (wolf, panther, bear) or the magical companion route (cat, owl, rabbit). wrong! he is a horse, one of the most awkward creatures in existence. bravo!

[tastylittlepixie]

I need to stop going out to bars/clubs the night

I don't usually mind getting snatched up during the night, getting either swallowed right there or stuffed in between some girls boobs to be saved for fun later... but it always seems to happen whenever I have something important to do in the morning 😔😔😔

[fountainpenguin]

I can't get over Janja viewing himself as this charming ballroom dancer when he's courting his prey... that's so funny?? why does he think like that.

Kion: The circle of life is about respecting other cultures and the lives we take when we play our role. Janja: Respect beautiful zebras?? I have no further questions.

He sees Cheezi and Chungu like this too. Yeah, they're his idiots, but he sees them as sweet and charming too.

I love when the hyenas go hunting and they are BFFs:

He luff zebra... Put zebra in hyena mouth for safety.

"Those stripes get me going~ <3" Okay buddy, rein it in...

[guinevereslancelot]

i've never seen the show so idk if the severance people know about this but one of my coworkers in the break room at lunch today was talking about how he had just started watching it and really enjoying it and he realized that they were filming in a building that he used to work in (the bell labs building, he said it was "the most exciting place in the world to work at if you were a scientist back in the day" btw). anyway, he said that he loved working there but that the interior architecture of the building in like the central part of the building felt like a prison lol. sorry if show watchers already knew this but i thought if not that you might appreciate knowing it

[ranchwamen]

You mentioned something about becoming human/taur being spells in the tags, what's stopping non-taur humans from learning it?

Thanks for the question! Same thing with Waterspeak, nothing really! In fact I think Sirpa was born as a two-legged human, but spends and has spent considerable amounts of time in the water as a mermaid because her mother is a mermaid. I guess you could consider her “half mermaid” as a result! She could’ve very well been born as a mermaid but her parents had to think long and hard about what form would be easier for her to live in as her original form, given their location and fears about water pollution it was undeniably two-legged

Sirpa tangent aside, anyone at all can learn the spell that makes you a mermaid, or the spell that makes you a terrestrial taur, or the spell that makes you a taur that can fly, so on so on! However, it can be seen as really weird if someone who was born as a two-legged human to a family that’s pretty much always been only two-legged humans to suddenly start living life as a taur. Taurness is not only just a body shape, after all, but a culture. Several cultures! Even if taurs are humans with human sensibilities, they’re shaped so different, they wear clothes that are different, they move differently, they can do things that two-legged humans can’t and can’t do things that two-legged humans can, they specifically have had many many stories about how they could’ve come to be (two-leggeds not so much), they need their own furniture, sometimes they’ve even lived separately from other types of humans. Merfolk are the most extreme cases, since they quite literally live where terrestrial humans can’t go naturally and every bit of their life has been adapted to an aquatic environment. Even if it would be very cool to live as a taur in theory, it’s fundamentally a very different experience, a more difficult experience sometimes, and people would probably give one many glances if they decided to become a taur one day for no other reason than “just cuz”. You may have the shape of a taur, but are you really even a taur if you’ve never experienced the culture?

Nuance exists, of course, like if you have a lot of taurs in your family and ever since you were a kid you’ve lived your life as many forms that are all equally “you”, or if your taur friend was like “lol wanna see what your true animal form would be” one night and you tried it out once and that was it, or if you have lived for a while now with many taurs — usually taurs are a minority on land but there are exceptions, for example in a very mountainous, difficult-to-traverse region a good bit of people might just be taurs for their better balance — and eventually decided to become a taur to fit the customs of the community better, or if you paid one billiam dollars at an exotic recreational center where they “Let [You] Feel the Wilderness Inside You (TM)” by having folks explore like a wildlife area as taurs, then like, yeah lol those are some random examples where no one would bat an eye! Also ironically, even though merfolk are definitely the most removed from terrestrial humans as a whole, it would be most acceptable to become a merm if you have an extended stay underwater (work, vacation, whatever) and need accommodations for breathing and moving in the water and things like that. It’s simply seen as the easiest way to do things, however true that may be! Similarly merfolk on land have a lot of pressure to “simply become two-legged” even though accommodations like wheelchairs for merms exist (and all merfolk can already breathe air). It’s a little… sad. A lot of merfolk don’t really like that their own selves are treated as unimportant and disposable and that the “best way” to go about moving in a foreign environment is to literally ditch your own body away to become something else. Many taurs never become two-legged because it would remove a big part of themselves, so why are merfolk any different? These are unfortunately some societal problems of the Sirpaverse.

TL;DR: Any non-taur can learn the spells that make you a taur, however there are societal and cultural implications of doing that and it might not be very appropriate in all situations.

[peasantgirl13]

sometimes i love being a writer and sometimes i shoot out of bed at three am plagued by intense visions of the scene i haven’t written

(i must write it down now, it will be gone by morning)

[vonehrenfest]

DCxDP: Dead guys stick together

(A Batman 138 fix-it)

After Bizarro becomes King of Hell he watches the mortal world and is distraught to find that his brother/best friend/sorta father-figure has been hurt very badly and is calling out for help.

Distraught, he goes to another lord of the netherworld who he's heard has access to a portal (and subjects a bit more compatible with the act of helping someone). He asks King Phantom would he please please help him protect his brother/friend, and if he does Bizarro will owe him a favor and leave his realm alone.

When the inferno had initially breached the Ghost Zone Danny had thought he was going to have to deal with f*cking Trigon again, but as it turns out that guy's been replaced and the new guy is pretty nice. After a brief cosmic battle and a clearing of misunderstandings, Danny agrees to Bizarro’s request.

While Gotham's vigilante civil war continues on its rooftops, Jason is in a cell. He is trembling, practically catatonic again, and losing his mind. He’s seeing the flaming figure of a knight on horseback appear from the shadowy far wall of his room, like some kind of fairytale nightmare version of Batman. It takes a while for Jason to realize he’s talking. 

“... part of the treaty between the King of Ghosts and King of Demons, Jason Todd: Prince of Demons has been granted special status and is henceforth a protected and honorary citizen of the Infinite Realms.” 

Nightmare-Bruce touches his flaming sword on Jason’s shoulder and the unearthly fire instantly engulfs him. Relief washes through Jason, and it’s so strong he nearly drops asleep.

Bruce is apologetic when everything’s over and he realizes the mistakes he’s made... but nothing really changes. (It is a relief to Bruce that no one died or was permanently injured, Jason's condition resolved itself somehow, and Bruce is normal now so really everything is fixed or at least it will be fixed.)

Just like when Jason first came back from the dead, Bruce's response makes him hurt deeper than the physical torture itself. Jason is the one who died but Bruce acts like the ghost. Singleminded, possessive, stuck in time and blind to it; bound to repeat the same cycles again and again. Jason is the ghost but he's died multiple times now, and maybe that's kind of like living and maybe that means he can move on. 

Dani and Bizarro become friends, and she gets Danny's friend Tucker to somehow set up a working Wi-Fi connection in hell so they can all play games together. (He’s not going to question it. Everything about Amity Park is abnormal. They helped him and they’re good to Bizarro, that’s all that matters.) 

Jason forges a fake identity for Dani. He might ask Babs to make a better one for her if she ever needs it but he doubts that's likely. He hasn’t had a living identity for years now after all, he’s an old hand at fake identities. Dani is delighted and starts attending school soon after. 

Danny has good friends, and as far as Jason can tell plenty of reliable mentors in the ghost world. You wouldn’t think it, but Jason’s less worried about Danny in his role as a little godling than in his civilian life. He’s got too much on his plate- too much power yet not enough to actually resolve his real issues. Not enough to protect himself where he’s vulnerable. 

The “Guys in White” that Danny likes to complain about are concerning. So is the fact that Danny’s lives with mad-scientist parents who are trying to hunt down his alternate identity. So is his ever grinding cold-war with the mayor of his town… And something else too that had been niggling at the back of Jason’s mind ever since he’d first gotten to talk to these kids. 

One day Danny’s sister, Jazz asks to talk to him. He’s an adult she says. That’s true he replies. He’s capable of protecting himself and other people, she says. Well, he has the training and experience for it, he agrees. If things go wrong, would Jason let Danny or Dani stay with him- just until she becomes a legal adult? She asks. Jason’s... not the sort of person who should be taking kids in. Danny saved his life though. He won’t say no. He says of course.

Jason knew it. Everything about Amity Park is abnormal.

The town doesn’t technically exist- there are no maps that include it and even satellite imaging is corrupted where Danny describes his hometown is supposed to be. There are no references to it on the internet that couldn’t be referring to a totally different Amity Park elsewhere, and judging by the problems they occasionally had on gaming nights and the odd offhand remarks Danny and his friends sometimes made, it was looking extremely likely that all communications between Amity Park and the outside were being heavily censored. Before Jason knew it he had started a full-on investigation on the GIW, Mayor Vlad Masters, former Mayor Montez, and Axion Labs.

Hope and fear lodges itself in Danny’s chest. Jason’s an adult and he’s actually going to help.