#pride discourse

[foone]

the bi woman's cishet boyfriend at pride

A great thread from mastodon by vx. princess size_t queen grace (@BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com) which I got permission to share here, since I thought some of y'all would like it:

"is the bi woman's cishet boyfriend allowed at pride" feels like one of those logic puzzles. like i have to get him across the river but i can't leave him alone with the cabbage

if the bi woman's cishet boyfriend crashes at pride, where do they bury the survivors

The Bisexual Woman's Cishet Boyfriend is a fallen london character

the polyamorous bisexual woman has three cishet boyfriends. one always lies, one always tells the truth, and one alternates between the two.

if a bisexual woman brings her cishet boyfriend to pride, whose job is it to install debian

anyways, my actual take is that, like, how would you even know. is he wearing a shirt that says "don't get any ideas, homos". i have to assume he's an ally

sorry, lady. your boyfriend's gonna have to suck a dick if he wants in

if a bisexual horse woman brings her cishet boot to pride, does love still win

if a bisexual woman opens a door to reveal a goat at pride, should you switch your door to increase your chances of choosing her cishet boyfriend

[xclowniex]

Pride disk horse this year is wild

Post 1: "it sucks that US centricism means that in my country, a lot of queer folk know US queer history better than our own. Both are important and need to be talked about and I wish people gave more attention to non US queer history"

Post 2: "so there is a post going around upset at people celebrating pride in June because that's not when it is in other countries. This is in poor taste considering of the current US administrations attitude and actions towards queer people"

Like be so fucking for real right now. The original post wasn't saying that amercians and other countries with pride in June shouldn't celebrate at all or shouldn't celebrate loudly. The post was pointing out how people give zero attention to pride and queer history in other countries.

I'm expected to know about stonewall but amercians aren't expected to know about Aotearoa's queer history. And that doesn't mean that I think people outside of the US shouldn't learn about stonewall, as I think people should learn about it. All it means is that US history isn't the be all end all of queer history and it's actually important to learn about queer history outside of your own country, which includes the US.

And it's also especially insulting as the original post was about NZ's queer history, and Winston Peters is trying to exclude trans women from the definition of Woman. The US isn't the only one with the government being transphobic right now. Winston Peters is also trying to follow in the steps of the UK, who already made it official to exclude trans women from the definition of woman.

Suffering, transphobia, homophobia, etc, isn't a finite thing. Yes, it is worse in some countries than others, but that doesn't mean it should be ignored in all countries except the worst offenders.

[ashley-kins]

"Should straight people be at Pride?" YES

I'm a straight trans woman. I'm a straight demisexual person. Straight people are sometimes part of the LGBTQIA+ community. This question is like asking if cis people should be at Pride.

Cishets who are not part of the community in any way is a whole different topic. For me, I say if they are invited or want to be there to support someone they know, then yes.

But can we PLEASE stop asking in straight people belong at Pride because that very much makes straight trans people, straight asexual people, and straight intersex people feel invalid (at least it does to me)

[vexwerewolf]

hey, I saw a post reblogged around hating the whole idea of no kink at pride and wanted to understand why that was, but noticed the comments were turned off, so I'm asking here. for reference I dont know very much about the subject and had the general idea that pride should be an all ages space, BUT (the but is very important) since I dont have much knowledge on the subject and can see you are very opinionated around it, id like to know why that is your stance from, well, someone who actually holds that stance.

No pressure to answer I simply want to understand why others hold this stance, the potential history behind it and if I am looking at things the wrong way, a chance to change my opinion

I hope all of this comes across correctly because im not trying to start internet discourse, just learn and have a well rounded understanding of a subject before taking a more solid stance

CW: discussion of sex, homophobia, kink, common anti-kink lies

Okay so if you're not read up on queer history, you have to understand that "deviant," "indecent" or "degenerate" sexuality is an accusation that's been used to repress queer people for pretty much as long as the concept has existed. It has often extended so far as to encompass any form of sex that isn't missionary cishet boning for the purpose of procreation, but it has always and by definition encompassed any and all ways that queer people have sex.

Now, I want to be clear that the LGBTQ+ community is not entirely about sex. Our community touches love, passion, art, gaming, basically every sphere of human experience, but it also includes sex. A lot of queer people like to have sex! Queer people, however, are judged for having and enjoying sex in a way that straight people simply aren't.

It's important to note that the concept of "degeneracy" is a vital component to white supremacist repression of queer people, because it inserts the necessary moral proposition that allows sex between two consenting adults to be labelled as harmful. As cynical as I am about the general public, it's actually pretty difficult to convince the average person that gay sex is something the government needs to repress in and of itself; any argument to this effect needs to come packaged with an additional, vaguely credible concern about social corrosion.

This is much easier to do with kinksters, because kinksters are weirder-looking than shirt-and-slacks queers (who, to be clear, are equally valid). But it's still difficult to make the average member of the public balk, because they'll say "well that sure is freaky but so long as they're doing it in private, who gives a shit?" So long as the people you're trying to stir up hate against aren't doing anything illegal, the average member of the public is gonna think you're the weird one for digging into other peoples' private sex lives.

Thus, the easiest avenue of attack is Pride, where it isn't in private. But it's a fucking deceitful canard. Straight people never have to answer for public displays of their sexuality, which are often far more gratuitous than some dude walking around in a pup mask.

[iwanttobepersephone]

Ok so I went to my first ever pride today and only then did it really click just how STUPID online pride discourse is

I saw like 3 fully bearded people with their tits half out. Good for them tbh they looked great

Atleast 4 queer Bible study groups were advertising, and this was a small pride parade too so it was definitely noticeable

A good chunk the people there were either on the older side of middle-aged or elderly

There were only like 3 booths that had kinky stuff, but it was all very polite, 2 of the 3 had like things that mostly covered the products so parents could make sure their kids couldn't see, it really wasn't like "oh there's penises everywhere!" You would just kinda walk up to a booth and realize that there's just a whole corner of bdsm gear. One of them was even handing out condoms which was kinda cool I guess

I saw a woman wearing an omnisexual pin and a man wearing an ally shirt with their 2 small children and they were having a great time. Nobody cared in the slightest and tbh the kids were adorable

All of which are things I have seen so many people make a fuss about, and I just. You didn't have the space to make a fuss about it irl cause there were too many people at every single booth having a great time! So, to anybody who sees this that has yet to go to a pride event but sees a lot of discourse online, it is all so so so much stupider than you could ever know. Like, I'm sure I still don't even know they half of it

[transfaguette]

online discourse about pride is so funny because you know they either have never been to a pride parade or are simply arguing in bad faith. like a real pride event is just like, a life insurance company giving you a pinwheel and a rainbow business card.

[angeluscore]

this "who's allowed on pride" discourse just felt dumb when yesterday my Very Straight And Cis coworker said "can't wait to go to pride this year! it's so fun to go there"

like, she goes every year to the pride parade despite not being queer bc she just enjoy having fun and meeting and talking to other people

this whole discourse just became "will this still be happening if i log off tumblr?" and sure it won't.

[howlingdemon13]

I usually don’t make separate posts about Pride, but I keep seeing the discourse and I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes:

Every gatekeepy argument about who/what isn’t allowed at Pride (no “straight-passing” bi folks, no kink, no cishets) feels like a psyop. And it’s the same psyop every damn year that the same cop-brained people keep falling for.

We go over this every year: Pride is a protest and a celebration. We are protesting the denial of basic human rights for our community across the globe, and we are celebrating each of our victories and what makes us different.

Unfortunately, it feels like younger members of the community fall for these psyops at higher rates. Guys, please learn your history and stop policing people in your community. The government and corporations already have pigs for that. Stop falling for it.

We need our allies and supporters there with us. We need folks who aren’t out yet or who might not know that they’re some facet of the community with us. We need our community elders who have been fighting this fight for decades with us.

If your ass is clenched about some bastardized ideas about consent around seeing kink in public, or are made uncomfortable by queer folks who you think aren’t “queer enough”, or whatever other petty-ass hang-up you have about the people attending Pride with you… then maybe you should take a breather at home and return once you’ve figured out why you feel the need to scrutinize other people in your community.

[tsireyast]

Everytime there's "should cishet people be at pride?" Discourse happens i think about my mom. Every year my mom goes to the pride parade in my city offering "mom hugs" with my aunt. And that is the only reason why i, a closeted lesbian teenager, can go to pride. I hide under the excuse of going to take pictures of her when she is being hugged (with permission ofc) so i can stay on the closet, which is what i choose.

Every time you say there shouldn't be cishets at pride you are stopping closeted people from going to what might be the only place where they feel safe.

[jadwiga-abremovic]

"WhY ShOuLd InTerseX PeOple Be In The Acronym"

Well, for one thing, "preventing lesbianism" is still a reason why doctors do clitorectomies on newborns.

[proustianrevelry]

People are trying to get pride flags to do too many things. We gotta start breaking this stuff into tiers

Biggest possible catch-all category: rainbow flag

Smaller level: grouped by specific shared marginal positions (transgender, intersex, lesbian, bisexual, asexual). Lotta these groups flags & other identifying symbols that lots of queers outside their group recognize

Smaller level: subcultures (leather, furry, bears, lipstick lesbians).

Smallest level: individuals. No flag or group symbol could ever be specific enough, start desiging your Gay Coat of Arms.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

if you're worried about going to pride because of tumblr discourse, let me assure you that people irl are way more chill than on here. I'm a queer girl who brought her straight boyfriend to pride. he took killer photos of me and people thought he was cute. girls, bring your dorky ass straight boyfriends to pride. no one actually cares.

[azurecanary]

Do i need to get involved in the "kink at Pride" discourse in the Queer Christian subreddit? Not really. Is the subreddit filled with people who have yet to disentangle themselves from every harmful aspect of purity culture? Yes

Therefore, my insight would probably be helpful

[rhysofcourse]

lots of polyam discourse coming from a site that doesn’t go outside and interact with people it seems

[drearytobesomebody]

i saw this person on tiktok ask what the difference was between bi and pan people, and people in the comments gave genuine answers but then they only liked the comments that were like “whichever flag they like more” or “yellow or purple” AND a comment that said that bisexuality doesn’t include trans people cause in the 90s someone said so.

oh!

so you didn’t care!

[fortheloveofpiggy]

“only afab intersex people can identify as transfem”

I see this argument a lot. Id like to explain why this point of view is flawed and how it hurts both intersex and perisex people. I would appreciate that if you have this point of view you please read with an open mind as I am an intersex person and would like to give my view on things because of that.

Id also appreciate if other transfem people and/or intersex people will share their opinions through reblogs or comments

Saying afab people can’t be transfem forces intersex afab transfem people to share their intersex publicly online erasing their right to their privacy.

It also takes away a helpful identity for afab gender queer women identifying as feminine leaning who are going through changes to become ever more feminine which to them is inherently apart of their transition. And/or gender queer women who have hormone imbalances or “look too masculine” in their preference or even were raised as more of a “male” because of misogyny or other things.

Obviously when talking about transmisogyny and the hardships that an amab perisex trans fem and an afab perisex trans fem would go through, it’s important to remember they’re different. They will not go through the same issues, and though both need to be talked about and respected in the different ways they deserve, that doesn’t make one experience more valid then that other. when we limit these identities into these boxes that can’t be molded then it only confuses people who are benefitted by the identities and forces people who don’t want how their private parts of their bodies to expose what they have to the internet.

Please remember for the sake of us intersex people.. afab and amab terms aren’t meant to put people down or limit identities. They were created to help people describe their experience of their gender assigned at birth and to bring awareness to how our current gender binary is flawed. Even down to sex because sex isn’t binary either.

Thank you for reading