#cishet at pride discourse

[foone]

the bi woman's cishet boyfriend at pride

A great thread from mastodon by vx. princess size_t queen grace (@BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com) which I got permission to share here, since I thought some of y'all would like it:

"is the bi woman's cishet boyfriend allowed at pride" feels like one of those logic puzzles. like i have to get him across the river but i can't leave him alone with the cabbage

if the bi woman's cishet boyfriend crashes at pride, where do they bury the survivors

The Bisexual Woman's Cishet Boyfriend is a fallen london character

the polyamorous bisexual woman has three cishet boyfriends. one always lies, one always tells the truth, and one alternates between the two.

if a bisexual woman brings her cishet boyfriend to pride, whose job is it to install debian

anyways, my actual take is that, like, how would you even know. is he wearing a shirt that says "don't get any ideas, homos". i have to assume he's an ally

sorry, lady. your boyfriend's gonna have to suck a dick if he wants in

if a bisexual horse woman brings her cishet boot to pride, does love still win

if a bisexual woman opens a door to reveal a goat at pride, should you switch your door to increase your chances of choosing her cishet boyfriend

[irlmagicalboy]

I’ll never understand those who are anti radqueer.

Queer people have never been accepted by society including when using queer to describe LGBTQIA+ we’ve always been seen as strange

Why do we feel the need to turn labels into a box for cishet individuals to understand, if it feels comfortable someone should be allowed to use it

Stop trying to change things to fit the norms cishet people try to place on us.

[torchickentacos]

i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.

[one-a-n-d-lonely]

I'M TIRED OF THE BI DISCOURSE! ANYONE I AM ATTRACTED TO I AM ATTRACTED TO IN A GAY WAY. BECAUSE I AM GAY!! ANY RELATIONSHIP I HAVE IS A QUEER RELATIONSHIP. BECAUSE I AM QUEER AND I AM ATTRACTED TO OTHER QUEER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

[darlinimamess]

i’m actually losing my mind, why is there always so much discourse around who’s allowed at pride? bc the answer is still everyone but cops

[darcyolsson]

pride month is so fun to me because it means i get to see three hundred angry posts about whether cishet ppl should be allowed or kept out of pride written with the tone of that being a real problem that exists when you go outside into the world

[planefood]

I’ve gone fursuiting in public a handful of times but the most dirty looks I’ve gotten for it was at a pride event? (I actually bought him there hi) from people with pride flags and stuff and they were like nasty looks of disgust man, don’t come to pride if you can’t handle queerness.

Hope I don’t get that shit for it next year fucking hell

[caesthoffe]

since "cishet boyfriend at pride" has become the new Annual Pride Discourse™, i just want to remind everyone that you cannot just tell who is queer and who isn't. that supposed "cishet" boyfriend of the bisexual girl could be anything from a closeted trans woman to a male-presenting enby to an aro/ace man to a really really really well passing trans man. and if you genuinely think you have that ability then you're really no better than the transvestigators of the world.

[thisvisionofmyspirit]

pride works if there is a gazillion of us, pride works if we fill up the streets and make it hard for people to circulate, pride works if bigots see the number of people showing up and think "oh fuck".

you are an absolute dumbass fucking idiot if you feel the need to exclude anyone who actually wants to be there.

let the cishet bfs in.

[respectissexy]

There are two basic arguments for shutting the fuck up about cishets at Pride.

First: What if a trans kid asks their parents to show their support by attending Pride with them? What if a lesbian can only attend pride if she gets a ride from someone and the only person willing and able to drive her is her straight brother? What if a bi disabled person can't attend a large outdoor event without hands-on assistance from their straight partner? What if someone just wants to bring their fucking friends? What if, contrary to popular tumblr discourse, most queers don't inhabit perfectly pure social bubbles populated only by other queers? What if it's none of your business?

Second and perhaps more important: If you think you can tell that someone is CIS, let alone HET, by LOOKING at them, you are a cop and an idiot.

[toraziyal]

I'm not sure you can read.

amennyiben olvasási képességekről kívánna szócsatázni, úgy javasoljuk a szemtől szembeni avagy esetlegesen a közvetlen üzenetváltás segítségével történő megmérettetést. sajnálattal kell közölnünk, hogy jelen formájában reklamációját ügyfélszolgálatunknak nem áll módjában fogadni.

[smartzelda]

I also want to add that the importance of the type of posts that give examples of queerness being fluid and people's gender/sexuality changing over time is so people understand that this is just as normal as people who don't have a gender/sexuality that is fluid or people who have a rigid relationship with their gender/sexuality labels. It's so that way people who do or could end up having a fluid relationship with gender/sexuality don't feel as if they're broken or their previous labels were just straight up wrong (and that being a bad thing). And it's also so that people who don't have fluid queerness understand that a lot of real people change over time or have experiences that don't fit the rigid ideas of queer labels (and that they will still use labels that feel comfortable or fitting to them)

A theoretical happenstance in which someone's parent tells them that they're not actually gay because that could change/they could figure out they do like the opposite gender one day is NOT the fault of a theoretical person being comfortable keeping lesbian as their sexuality label while dating a partner who turns out/transitions to be a trans masc person.

ive seen this type of post recently thats like "you can't say sexuality is fluid because what if people harass gay people and try to get them to change" or "you can't be a bi lesbian because what if a man uses that to harass other lesbians" and it's like. well first of all sexuality is fluid, maybe not for you specifically, but for a lot of people it is or can be. and secondly if someone's using another queer person's label to harass you that is not the other queer person's fault it's the fault of the person harassing you. like YOUR sexuality does not have to be fluid YOU do not have to identify as a bi lesbian but other people are going to have experiences that are different from yours. and if someone harasses you bc of someone else's identity, again, that is them finding an excuse to be a creep. also we went over this in like 2018 with nonbinary exclusionism i swear i've typed this exact post but with "nonbinary people aren't the reason people are transphobic towards binary trans people" we have already done this discourse pack it up go home

[lesbianfanfictionenthusiast]

"what do you think about *queer discourse*" my brother in christ i can not even begin to tell you how much idgaf

[ocean-breeze-pier]

A very specific subset of transandrophobia that drives me insane is where as a nonpassing trans guy (mind you so I do experience misogyny still and have throughout most of my life) cis women when they’re arguing with me will treat me the exact same as a cishet man the second they find out I’m trans. Ever since getting dragged into pride month discourse with cis lgbt women, this keeps happening to me. They tell me I’m tone policing “like a typical man” when I say I’m upset about being misgendered (by the woman who misgendered me. These kinds of comments didn’t start until she realized I’m trans). When I defended lesbians bc I’m seeing a lot of them get hated on and god forbid I stick up for people in our community especially those who often have an overlap with transmascs, I have someone tell me that “lesbians don’t need a man to save them”. My words are interpreted in the least charitable way possible and I become a substitute for cis women’s hatred of men. And they can get away with it bc hating men is the norm. EVEN THOUGH I EXPERIENCE A LOT OF THE SAME THING THEY DO.

[anneapocalypse]

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈 I'm here to deliver my annual PSA.

If you've never been to an in-person Pride celebration, I encourage you to attend one this year if you're able.

For one day, if you're able, leave the discourse online and go to a parade or a park full of queer people and our friends and supporters.

Go out and see kids wearing trans flags, with adults in their lives who support them.

Go see ace flags flying over your local park.

Go buy some kettle corn, buy some rainbow pins from local queer-owned businesses and find out about a tiny queer bookstore on the other side of town you didn't know existed but now can plan to go visit.

Go march with queer people of all stripes and all ages. Look at the crowd marching with you and understand that this represents people who share common cause with you, regardless of individual identity. Understand that some of them are cishet allies and that it is a good thing that they are here, marching with us.

Go see young drag queens and old drag queens dance and lip-sync to Lady Gaga and Chappell Roan and problematic Disney songs.

It's hard to really put into words how experiencing this will shift your perspective. I'm not saying you won't see or hear anything problematic or that you disagree with. I am saying it's an experience of community that is incredibly valuable and worthwhile and honestly healing if you're able to do it. It means more to me every year and the older I get, even as limited energy and chronic illness makes it more difficult for me to get out and interact with my local community regularly. I've never been sorry that I went to Pride. I'm so grateful that we have a local organization that puts in the work to make it happen. I'm grateful for this big, diverse, beautiful, imperfect community we have, that for all our foibles and disagreements, we are and will always be strong when we band together, and it reminds me that it's all the more important to work to make our community more inclusive and more accessible.

So yeah, if you can go to Pride this year, I highly recommend it.

🌈 Good vibes only, no exclusionism on this post or you will be instablocked. 😘

[sakrafka]

the whole "no cishets at pride" discourse is so fucking stupid and annoying, but also why is it that there are cishet mothers, fathers, friends, siblings, etc. at pride but it's always bisexual women's cishet boyfriends that people get mad at... for SOME reason