#quote ask

[quotesfromshittybrains]

“A is for arson, B is for Barson, C is for commit arson, D is for don’t come near me, i’m going to commit arson”

.

[batcavescolony]

Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

[neostellarjpg]

[shadebloopnik]

Penelope: Would I fall in love with you again? Hmmm, well. Can you also move our marriage bed over there? Hmmm? What? I thought we were pretending to be stupid by asking the most idiotic questions.

[juno-infernal]

[covered in blood, with tears in my eyes] I AM VERY YOUNG AND I AM LEARNING HOW TO LIVE

[anyknotrants]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick, deadpan: You hid a racoon in your room.

Jason, crouched by a sleeping racoon currently sleeping on a pillow. Theres scratches all over his arms and legs. He doesn’t seem bothered: yeah? What ya gonna do about it?

Dick: Un-hide? The goddamn racoon in your room?

Jason: But I’ve named him.

Dick: Well, un-name him.

Jason: He’s Barty.

Dick: I don’t care.

Jason: …

Jason: We can use him to fuck with Bruce.

Dick: …

Dick: Would Barty like some food?

[batccidentily-inlove]

Tim: We can't tell Dick he'll never let us pull this prank.

Jason: What? Dick loves pranks.

Duke: Yeah but not the illegal ones.

Steph: Or ones against cops.

Jason: WHAT!?

Batsibs:..?

Jason: Just one sec

Jason (calling Dick and putting them on speaker):

Dick: Whats up?

Jason: Hey remember when I was still Robin and you got mad at Bruce for telling you not to flirt with the rogues while he was actively hooking up with Selina, so you let me tag along to steal shit from museums while planting cat fur you stole from Selina's place hoping to frame her but the dumb ass detective ended up thinking it was a gang of hyper intelligent stray cats?

Dick (snorting): Yeah, of course, I still send the detective a box of kittens and something of his I've stolen of his every year on National Adopt a Stray Day.

Jason (deadpan look at his siblings):

Dick: Crazy to think that was one of the tamer pranks we pulled...

[bruciemilf]

There’s something pretty funny about Bruce being JL’s emergency fake boyfriend. It all starts with Hal, because all wonderfully chaotic things do.

Hal: My dad’s having a BBQ with his insufferable pilot friends and they're all ‘quiet about politics’. I need you to pretend we've been married for 10 years.

Bruce: 😐

—

Clark: So I kind of told my parents I've been dating you after they asked me ‘what kind of friends are you’, and I said ‘the kind that kiss and hold hands’ because I panicked

Bruce:

Clark: I'm so sorry but please, please come to dinner this Sunday. I’ll tell them you broke up with me later!

Bruce: I don't want to break up with you.

Clark: REALLY?! I MEAN— Really! I can do the break up, no problem. Not that I WANT to break up with you. I'd never.

Bruce: You’ll tell them you had a long term affair behind my back. With Batman.

Clark: You’re absolutely evil sometimes, you know that?

Bruce: The plot required conflict.

—

Barry: So, I kinda forgot to tell my dad I’m not straight. I want him to have a soft introduction before I bring HAL home.

Bruce: Alright.

Barry: Wow! That was fast.

Bruce: I have a deep-seated fear of denying my younger peers.

—

The only issue? JL is hosting a family night and they all sorta kinda forgot to tell their parents they stopped “dating” Bruce.

The parents are fighting over him.

[quotesfromshittybrains]

“What’s the capital of Italy?”

“Pakistan.”

.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Tim: Death penalty.

Dick: Tim, it was just a parking ticket-

Tim, leaning into the mic: Please kill me.

[chairmansans]

If we assume the "voice" in the code is/was Dess, I think the recurring nightmare she mentions puts a lot of context to the stuff in her room. Underneath that cool, fearless older sister exterior she was incredibly scared, paranoid even.

Her bed is in a weird position, facing away from the closet. She has a bunch of army rations and multitool knives. Maybe she just liked collecting those things, but I feel like there's more to it. I think she was worried that something bad would happen. Maybe she felt that something was lurking in the dark. Considering the implications that she (and probably Kris) was led to the shelter by SOMETHING (Friend, maybe?), it could have exploited those fears, or could have been the cause of them.

Notice how the Knight looks a bit like one of the titans? And titans represent fear? What if Dess' fear consumed her? What if she became her fear?

[kitschiestkitsch]

Hunger & Despair

[asthedeathoflight]

Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*

[s4phiraaa]

james: can we not go to a restaurant tonight?

regulus: why? you love restaurants.

james: i feel like an abuser everytime we go out :(

regulus: youre so dramatic, it’s fine.

(at the restaurant)

waiter: (looking at regulus) and what would you like sir?

regulus:

james: (sigh)… he‘ll have the salad, please.

[mysticalarmand]

Clark: *Out of curiosity* How did all four of you even become Robin

Dick: My parents died in the circus

Jason: I stole Bruce's tyres off of the batmobile

Tim: I stalked him

Damian: I'm his only biological son and there's no refund button