#raspberry and cherry mmmm

[incorrectsides]

romans jam is probs the one i would like the most tbh

[pxgeturner]

HI OMG AND HBD!!!!

🔮, 💫 — cancer sun, virgo rising, capricorn moon♟️— cym as fav flavors! <33

hbd agajn <3333

HI SASCHA ! thank u v much 🫂

omg my love 😵‍💫 pls send the 💫🔮 as seperate asks !! /nm

but as for the ♟️ :

u as mmmm…. cookies n cream

@rottencranberry as passion fruit

@mad-elia as lemon

@elliewlums as dark chocolate

@puppy-coded as circus cookie

@arakhnee as mamey

@spideymatcha as cinnamon

@orangejuiceandvampirism as watermelon

@gg-is-a-loser as cotton candy

@gardenofvows raspberry

@amourrs as cherry

come celebrate my birthday !

[ukai-simp-services]

hq character’s favorite lip smacker flavors

warnings: none, just slight cursing

a/n: wow the way this was one of my best ideas... anyway some of these are kinda repetitive so bare with me 😭

karasuno

hinata

i feel like hinata would be down for one of the really fruity flavors, like watermelon or mango sunrise. forgets it at home or in your car a lot so you always buy him extra.

kageyama

kags is def giving me the classic strawberry or cherry vibe, like the one that ALL stores sell. they’re the easiest to find and he likes the flavors.

daichi

ok i feel like daichi would use the peppermint flavor a lot, but i can also seeing him use the cinnamon flavor every now and then too, spice things up a little.

sugawara

i can see suga using some of the sweeter flavors, like strawberry as a daily chapstick and maybe sugar cookie when he wants to switch things up.

asahi

mans got the whole berry pack. uses them pretty frequently throughout the day, has a different flavor in different places. like one in his school bag, one in his gym locker, one at home, etc.

tanaka

ok tanaka probably doesn’t use use them that much, but when he does, he fucks w the soda flavors. like coke and sprite.

nishinoya

i don’t even think he knows what lip smackers are....but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he would use one of the sugary ones. like the skittles one.

tsukishima

vanilla. no pun intended. i just totally see him using the vanilla flavor, probably the coconut one too.

yamaguchi

i can see bby using the pink lemonade,,,maybe the cucumber melon too mmmm. applies them a lot.

ennoshita

he uses that lime flavor (i forgot it’s exact name) but that and probably some fruity shit like tropical punch.

ukai

PLEASE. he wouldn’t sell lip smackers at his convenience store so he’s like ?? tf is that babe ?? but, once you show him he’d definitely be down for the rootbeer or coke flavor, he’s a soda man what can i say. BUT i imagine he’d keep it simple most of the time w peppermint. (u also make him start selling them so he ends up trying the fruity flavors~)

kiyoko

god, i wanna say the cherry flavor bc of the mf katy perry song (pls tell me if yk what im talking about) BUT i can also see her using the mint one and the coconut one too. queen has multiple flavors, as she should.

yachi

100% one of the candy flavors, like bubblegum. definitely the cotton candy one too. yachi’s lips always taste good period.

nekoma

kuroo

another cherry chapstick lover, but he spices his shit up with the cherry cobbler flavor. wants to taste good at all times for you~

kenma

doesn't use it often, but when he remembers or you remind him, he'll usually use a fun soda flavor like from the fanta pack,, or even just regular grape.

yaku

giving me grapefruit delight vibes...idk why but he just is. i can see him whipping it out in the lockerroom before practice starts, quickly applying it before any of the other guys come in.

yamamoto

omg ok so i feel like similar to some of the other guys, he’d shy away from using it in front of anyone. but i can see him using the tropical punch flavor ??

lev

tell me lev wouldn’t use the vanilla icecream one...like i can just see it. i feel like he would lowkey take pride in it too, like he knows that shit taste good.

seijoh

oikawa

this mf uses peppermint religiously. but this is oikawa we’re talking about so i think he definitely would have multiple flavors; definitely watermelon, probably chocolate mint, and for sure starburst.

iwaizumi

he’s kinda shy about using them so he sticks to the more lowkey flavors, probably like blue raspberry or kiwi. (pls gimmie a blue raspberry kith haji)

mattsun

i feel like he wouldn’t use it much, but he’d use the lemon drop flavor. loves using it during the winter bc of the weather.

hanamaki

another soda lover. i feel like he sticks to the coca cola flavors, like vanilla and cherry. (i love the cherry one omfg) maybe the root beer one too.

kunimi

bubblegum. that’s it. that’s the flavor. it’s always on him at ALL times. like that shit doesn’t leave his pocket, he once even accidentally washed his pants with it still in the pocket.

kindaichi

mmmm i think he’s definitely a berry guy, likes mixed berry or wild raspberry.

mad dog

yes i just labeled him by his nickname instead of his real name what about it- anyway. why do i think he’d use orange creamsicle on the LOW. like mf HIDES that shit. can never catch mad dog applying mf orange creamsicle chapstick. nope.

fukurodani

bokuto

omg ok bby definitely uses strawberry cheesecake or sour apple. ik they’re like two totally different flavors but, he just DOES. and he’d pucker his lips towards you every time he applies it like “BABY GUESS WHAT FLAVOR MY LIPS ARE” like ok bo c’mere then.

akaashi

he’s a simple man, he enjoys a nice strawberry banana lip smacker on his lips. maybe even pumpkin latte (during the fall of course) bc he’s festive <3

konoha

mans is using the dragonfruit flavor (i forgot if it’s just dragonfruit or if there’s another flavor combined in there) but, he literally just uses that flavor. like idk what to tell you. he just does.

yukie

ok i love her sm, i just know she would have strawberry kiwi and probably strawberry banana too. mmm yummy.

shiratorizawa

ushijima

i feel like kageyama, he would only buy the ones he sees at most stores...so a classic like mango or kiwi.

tendou

ohmygod, mans has a whole mf collection. like first of all, he has the fanta soda collection, obviously. then, there’s the candy pack with nerds, fun dip, laffy taffy, jolly ranchers, etc... he also fucks w any sour flavors. basically, everytime you kiss this man you’ll be tasting something different.

semi

another blue raspberry mf, but also i can see him using the dr pepper flavor LOL....i wanna taste>:(

goshiki

he’s a sucker for the grape flavors, regular of course, grape jelly, grape fanta, etc.

shirabu

mmm i can see him using pineapple. it’s a subtle flavor, but its the one he likes best. i don't think he'd use it all that often tbh, but when he does his lips taste absolutely ~fresh~

date tech

aone

PLSSS i just know mans wouldn't even know what a lip smacker was, would probably just be using normal burt’s bees like most people - till you introduce him to the wide range of flavors that lip smackers have to offer. he'd be like “hm, banana.” LIKE. either THAT or piña colada, he’s really trying for y’all.

kanji

cake donut?? do i have an explanation?? nope. i don’t even know what that would taste like, but i can imagine pretty sweet? just give him a mf kiss.

inarizaki

atsumu

PLEASE. he’d use the strawberry flavor ALL the time. like ok maybe occasionally the vanilla icecream too. but im so soft rn for ‘tsumu’s strawberry lips T_T

osamu

omg he’s such a cheesecake mf i just KNOW, so he’d have the strawberry cheesecake flavor. probably use chocolate moose sometimes too if he’s in the mood.

kita

this is NOT up for debate, he’d 100% use berry pie all the time. kita get ur ass here rn, we’re bouta smooch.

suna

pls bc he’s another one that’d only use it on the low. i’m feeling watermelon,, he’d always apply it before he sees you too.

aran

ooooo i can see him using cinnamon swirl, but also grape on a more common occasion. yummy....

extras

terushima

HHH sour apple for sure. he’d try to put on you all the time so you can taste like him too, he’s like “baby c’mere ;)”

saeko

bitch omg, why can i see her using the cherry cream soda one.... i literally don’t know where she could buy it but she’d fucking have it, like for SURE.

sakusa

STOP bc he’d definitely reprimand you for using lip smackers instead of a brand like ChapStick or burt’s bees. like shut up bitch...but also if you’re persistent like me, then you’ll definitely sneak the lemon drop flavor into his jacket pockets whenever you have the chance. you know it’s his secret guilty pleasure <3

[et-lesailes]

mmmm coconut rum.. my islander and my hoe self goes wild over it it's so good, the only fruity flavours i like r lime, raspberry, n coconut w alcohol lol

i'm guessing you're a fan of malibu rum then? that n cruzan are my faves!

i also love bailey's lmao. their chocolate cherry flavor is so good, i drink it straight and it feels like happy chocolate milk. 🥰

[himynameisgrapes]

You don’t wanna read this shit.

I’m yawning. It’s gonna be 6 o’ clock soon. My body feels tired and achey. The warped minds of this parasitic feud is stupid really. It’s a game mirroring they’re emptiness and ignorance. It’s a game. It could be called anything you wanted it to be. I yawned again. The parasite is Morse coding its unusualness. Scared and unaware of its maddening existence. It makes me want to yawn forever. It’s supposed to awaken something, apparently. It’s useless. I lay back and trying to finish jotting down in some way what I want or can. The other parasites annoy and excite themselves and remind me how useless they are. It’s a funny antidote of how dead they need to become. I never have and I wouldn’t hesitate because these crackheads want it. It’s still funny but not at all worthy of my time. Execution. I don’t care for them. Children are they and weak minded. Pestering anything to get something for themselves. It’s a show waiting to happen. Because of them I haven’t seen a good scary movie. Even when I try to be humble and watch something I’d find in BlockBuster, they ruin it. Arrogant pigs. Definitely, I relish pork. Mm, with some... nevermind. My mind want to excrete some more and find some solitude without them gone. It’s not hard but when they tap or speak in some form. It makes me want to crawl inside my own body and in some form ruin their own. 🤯 it’s attainable. It is. easy too. I’ve wanted to shove my entire leg into their anus. Remind them that human will impale them from which they feed off of. Die already. Please? With a cherry and some fudge. Even some sprinkles too. Die. Spooky, huh? I can expect your response and it be exciting as I’m not. Cherries and fudge. Sprinkles, too. Maybe some banana. No pineapple. Perhaps a raspberry sauce instead? Mmmm. Mmmm? Yeah?! What are you doing? 😷👮🏽‍♂️👩🏼‍⚖️🙏🕵🏻‍♀️👨🏻‍⚕️👨🏼‍🌾👨🏽‍🏭👩🏼‍🔬👨🏻‍✈️👩🏼‍🚒🕵🏻‍♂️

[heartofsnark]

Black Market Wonderland (Chapter Six): A messy brain, I’m not okay

Notes:  As always, thanks for the continuous support of this story. There has even been people doing fan art of Tsuneko which blows my mind. This was another chapter I struggled with, I’m still unsure when writing Rhion. But, I love him enough to try.

Word Count:  5,499

Warnings:  Nightmare, Suicide (within nightmare) and another panic attack for good measure. I feel like Tsuneko has a lot of panic attacks but given her situation, I feel it’s justified.

Missed the last chapter? Link Here!

Tsuneko’s dorm kitchenette is filled with savory and sweet scents; she puts the finishing touch on the final dish with a low hum. She packs it all away in containers, it will be a pain carrying all of the dishes, but she’ll have to manage. It’s odd how excited she is about this, after dealing with Ichinomiya and Oh, visiting Wonderland feels like a vacation. For all his eccentricities, the Hatter has by far been the kindest of the men involved with the auctions. The only one who can even compare is Baba, but his kindness comes with incessant and nauseating attempts to flirt.

There are a few blotches of stuff on her apron and she hopes it doesn’t stain, ironic given what it is, but she can’t help it. She tosses it in the hamper and throws on a jacket; she already changed into more casual clothes the second she was back from the boutique. She feels so much better in her own clothes, her hair done a way she likes, and she even put in her tongue ring. It was something reckless she did a few years ago in college, she rarely gets to wear it anymore with her job, but it feels nice to have it back in place.

She gathers the food, balancing it all in her arms as she heads out. Tsuneko has to cut through the lobby to head towards Wonderland. She feels a little out of place, she’s basically only here if she’s working, so wearing her casual clothes in the lobby is a new experience.

“Tsuneko!” A familiar and accented voice rings out, every muscle in her body tenses as Mr. Bucci comes over.

“Hello, Mr. Bucci, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” She’s careful as she speaks, aware of the possibility of showing her tongue ring. As much as she likes fucking over Ichinomiya looking like some sort of delinquent in front of his potential work partner feels like a step too far.

“I thought you were spending the day with Carolina and them?”

“I was with them earlier, but I had to leave, I’m on my way to drop off some food actually.”

“You cook?”

“A little, actually,��� she manages to open the top container, “do you want a piece of cherry almond bread?’

The older man guffaws at her struggling to get a piece out, she’s hoping the sweet can soothe any bad impression she’s made.

“Thank you very much,” he takes a bite, “there’s nothing better than home cooking, I swear.”

“I’m so glad you like it, I’ll have you cook something just for you while you’re here.”

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll be looking forward to it then.”

Tsuneko waves him off and sighs once he’s out of hearing distance, he’s definitely easier to contend with than his daughter, but she’d still hate to upset him. Not only is he important for Ichinomiya’s work, but she really doesn’t want to make enemies with the Italian mafia. Doesn’t sound like a good time to her. She takes the stairs down to the Hatter’s tea room and knocks on the door.

“It’s Tsune- Alice.”

“Come in! Come in!”

Tsuneko steps into the room and no less surreal than it was the first time, she’s not sure she could ever get used to this. This time the table is already set, the decorations from last time are still out, and the costumed men are already at the table.

“We’ve all been waiting; I’ve been so excited I could barely set the table.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, now,” she tells him as she sets everything out, “do you mind pouring the tea?”

The scent of Assam tea mingles with the smells of the food she’s made; Yorkshire pudding with roast, gravy and vegetables. Along with the lemon chiffon pie he requested as a dessert, she made cherry almond bread. He seems to have a taste for sweet fruity things; the lemon chiffon pie and raspberry sauce both coming to mind. The Hatter’s eyes are trained on her as she plates the main course; she tried to make a lot since the March Hare and Dormouse are here as well.

“You seem to be in high spirits today, Alice.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

“I had a lot of fun cooking for you, plus I’d rather be here than with any of the penthouse guys any day.” she answers with a shrug.

“Ahh, you’ll make my heart fly out of my chest, saying things like that.”

“Pfft, sure, I just hope you like everything I made.”

“It smells so delicious; I might drift off to sleep.” The Hatter closes his eyes and takes a deep inhale.

“I swear to god, if you fall asleep before you even try any of this, I’ll be shoving it down your throat.”

“Ah! How scary!” He jolts up in his seat with wide eyes and she can’t help but snicker.

“Here you go,” she places a plate in front of the Hatter and the two pseudo-furries, other than initial greetings the two have never spoken. If they’re the people the Mad Hatter is always with, he must get lonely, doesn’t he? She shakes off the thought and takes her seat.

“Yes, this is it! Look how the middle is sunken in, isn’t it lovely! ~”

“I just hope it tastes good.” She tried them before hand, but just because they taste good to her doesn’t mean they’ll meet his standard, since he actually knows how they’re supposed to taste.

“Let’s have a taste, Alice,” her leg bounces with nervous energy as the Hatter takes a bite, “mmm, it’s delicious, both the texture and flavor is perfection! ~”

“Yes,” she pumps her fist, “I’m so happy you like them!”

Her nerves relax and she takes a big bite out of her own Yorkshire pudding, the soft texture of the bread mixed with the flavor of the gravy brightens her smile even more.

“How is it?”

“It’s really soft and delicious.”

“Yes, I’m so glad you like them, Alice! ~”

“I’m happy they turned out well, I was really worried when you first asked me to make them. I had no idea what they were.”

“Really? What did you think it was?” He tilts his head to the side, his oversized hat nearly falling off from the movement.

“Uhhhh,” heat floods her cheeks and she stares at her plate, “like dessert pudding, possibly…shaped like a dog…like the terriers.”

“Pfffft, hahahaha!”

A peal of laughter escapes his painted lips and she buries her head in her hands, her skin feels like it’s on fire.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me!”

“You say the most interesting things, Alice! ~,” he takes a bite of the roast beef, “mmm, the roast beef is perfectly cooked and the gravy is robust and flavorful!”

“You’re too nice.”

“It’s a lovely dinner, the roast beef is sliced so perfectly thin. If it’s cut too thick, it wouldn’t make for a good sandwich later. Ah, isn’t it a wonder how such a delicious meal can be made from such simple ingredients?”

“It really is. I thought it would be a lot more complicated.”

“Flour, eggs, and milk, that’s all the batter is, it’s like it’s transformed by magic!”

Tsuneko’s face is red through the entire meal, as laves compliment after compliment on her cooking. Every bite of food is accompanied by a noise of pleasure and a poetic gushing of how much he loves it. He cleans his plate of the main dish before digging into the cherry almond bread.

“Mmmm, the tart cherries and sweet bread are a lovely a combination! ~”

It’s gone in moments and she’s licking crumbs off her fingers, as the Hatter begins to dig into the lemon chiffon pie. She can’t get over how childlike all his actions seem to be, excitedly digging into every dish with an impossibly wide smile.

“The ephemeral meringue reminds me of a night blooming cactus as it melts instantly in my mouth. The sweet and sour lemon cream gives life to my very heart! ~”

“I’m pretty sure if your heart was pumping lemon cream, you’d die.”

“And I’m pretty sure you can’t make pudding into the shape of a dog,” he teases with a soft smile.

“Shut up.”

She pouts and takes a sip of tea, once the food is gone the March Hare and Dormouse take their leave, not long after a familiar fluff ball comes walking in.

“Oh, Cheshire, how are you today?”

The Hatter greets the oversized cat as she tries to jump into a seat, but she has trouble lifting herself. Tsuneko puts her hand under Cheshire’s back feet and gives her a lift up.

“Back from your nightly walk, are you?” Cheshire mews back at the Hatter’s question, “Oh? That’s wonderful. That’s the best part of taking a walk, isn’t it?”

“What did Cheshire say?” Tsuneko raises an eyebrow, humoring the Hatter’s attempt to be Dr. Doolittle.

“She was watching a beautiful butterfly fall asleep and felt the night breeze caress her cheeks.”

“Sounds like a lovely time, are you hungry?”

Tsuneko gets a little piece of roast beef, letting Cheshire eat it from her hand. Once she’s cleaned her hand, she starts scratching her ear, the cat leaning into the touch and purring.

“I think Cheshire has gained some weight.”

“It’s fine, she wears it well, want me to brush her fur out?”

The Hatter smiles brightly and brings her a brush. She begins stroking it through the cat’s fur; the silky fluff is relaxing to pet through. Cheshire curls up in her lap, purring with every brush and pet against her fur.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something, about the auctions,” Tsuneko brings up, scratching under Cheshire’s chin.

“Hmm, what could that be?”

Tsuneko’s mouth dries out, thoughts of that stage, that night. This isn’t stage fright, she knows that. She’s never been afraid of speaking to crowds, but any advice or help from someone who steps onto that stage regularly is welcomed. She clicks her tongue ring against the roof of her mouth, fidgeting with Cheshire’s fur.

“Do you…ever get…nervous getting on stage?”

His head tilts curiously to the side, his hat once again threatening to topple over. He chews on his painted bottom lip and his face wrinkles in concentration.

“Are you nervous about it?”

“Uh….maybe, just a bit.”

“Why would the stage make you nervous?”

“Y’know, being stared at...and gunk…” She supposes severe trauma from being sold like a literal object can be safely tucked into the ‘gunk’ category.  

"You worry about the silliest things," he waves his hand like it'll make her fear disappear, "you'll do wonderfully!"

Despite the chipper tone, not a single word that came out of his mouth was helpful. She sighs, she’s not sure what she expected, the Hatter is eccentric at best and completely detached from reality at worse, why would he be able to help her?

“’Preciate it,” she teeters back in her chair with her feet on the table and Cheshire still in her lap, “so, you grew up in England?”  

His smile drops and every muscle in his body tenses, like she’s thrown cold water on him. She plays with the ring in her tongue, nervously pushing it up and down. She’s never seen him like this, like her one little question has sent his world crashing down.

“The place where I grew up…yes.”

“You said the Yorkshire pudding was from your home country, so I was curious…”

“The place where I grew up, it’s a place where there are beautiful roses…”

His eyes soften when he mentions the roses and Tsuneko finds her own wandering to the walls of Wonderland. Roses are painted over them, what she once assumed was just another reference to his favorite fairy tale has taken on a new meaning. Clearly, he has conflicted feelings about where he came from, but the roses seem to be a pleasant memory for him. There’s a pang in her heart, as strange as he is, he’s a kind person and seeing him hurt for even a second hurts her.

“That must be nice, roses are really beautiful.”

“They are,” he’s beaming again, “being surrounded by beautiful things is the best. That’s why Wonderland is so incredible. The clear sky, the lush garden, a wonderful table at which to have parties, roses, and-oh, I know there’s something I haven’t shown you yet, Alice!”

He’s gesturing flamboyantly as he rushes towards the wall, Cheshire hops out of her lap to start sniffing around the room. Tsuneko idly picks at the fur left on her shorts and tights while she waits for the Hatter’s new surprise. She hears the click of a switch and her breath catches in her throat.

The ceiling has shifted, no longer showing an evening sky, it’s now pitch black with gleaming stars. It looks so real, she knows it’s not, but she can see the starlight shining against the velvet black. It almost feels like she’s back home, sitting on her roof and stargazing again.

“Whoa, they look so real.”

“They are real stars in Wonderland.”

“It reminds me of when I was little,” Tsuneko can’t help but say, maybe because he talked a bit about his past, she feels like she should share her own.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it was a small place so you could see the stars really well. I use to always climb up to the roof of our house to see them. My dad kept telling me I was gonna fall and break my neck, he would worry over the stupidest shit.”

“Did you ever fall?”

“Yeah, but I broke my arm, so,” she shrugs her shoulders, “won that one.”

The Hatter laughs and she finds herself joining it, cracking up at her own dumb ass.

“You have a way at looking at the bright side, I suppose,” The Hatter manages to say as his giggles die down.

“Hmmm, more like just spiteful enough to say I won no matter what, but spin it however you want,” she pauses for a moment, “you want to like properly stargaze?”

“Properly stargaze?”

She smiles at the way his head tilts again; she wonders what he looks like beneath the makeup. His behaviors alone are too cute; does he have a cute face to match? Wait, what is she thinking? He’s an auctioneer who helped sell her, no matter how kind or cute he may or may not be, she can’t forget that.

“Yeah,” she shakes off the odd thought, “when there are stargazing event people will get blankets and lay out on the ground to watch them.”

“Oh,” his eyes are bright and wide, “that sounds like fun, let's do that!”

“Okay, help me move the table so we can lie down.”

She hooks her fingers under one side of the table and the Hatter’s eyebrows furrow, but follows suit in getting his hand on the other side. He’s biting his lip, is he worried about something?

“Count of three lift it up with me okay; one, two, three!”

She lifts and realizes why he was worried; she’s definitely lifting the brunt of the table’s weight. His arms are trembling from what he’s holding up, he’s not very strong. She finds herself smiling as she guide him to helping her move the table further off to the side, that must be why he needs the furry guys to move stuff. They put down the table once it’s far enough to the side and he’s letting out soft huffs of air, little beads of sweat make his makeup run a bit. It wasn’t that heavy, next time she could probably lift it alone.

“Do you have any extra blankets?”

“Uh, um, in the closet.” He points her in a direction; he’s too winded to be dramatic about it.

She’s smiling as she rummages, finding the biggest softest blanket she can. It falls across the center of the room with a soft noise, big enough for two and a cat. Tsuneko falls back against the blanket with all the grace of a boulder, stretching her arms and legs out to feel the soft fabric beneath her.

The Hatter follows suit, falling in place beside her. She can feel the warmth of his presence next to her, the fabric of his costume brushing against her, his limbs tangled with her own in the places where their sprawled bodies overlap and the way any semblance of personal space has been abandoned.

It’s not uncomfortable though, it should be but it isn’t. This kind of thing usually makes her want to scream and run away. Blurring of boundaries and sharing stories of the past, things that normally put a pit in her stomach feel fine here with him. Why? She’s never told Sakiko or Chisato a thing about her past, not even little anecdotes and she usually doesn’t let them too close, a casual touch here and there too. But, she’s never been able to relax like this, just letting someone be in her space.

Her eyes drift from the artificial stars to the man beside her, eyes narrowing as she tries to crack this code. His hat fell off, the teal hair color must be wash out, and she can see black patches of hair starting to peek through. The white face paint around his neck and forehead has started to rub off, little patches of regular fair skin beneath. She wants to fix it, retouch up his hair and makeup for him. She’s so accustomed to his over the top fake appearance, seeing even glimmers of the person beneath it is making her a little uncomfortable.

It’s because he’s fake.

The realization of it hits her. That’s why this is okay, why she can tell him about falling off the roof and can let him into her space, he’s not real. He is, but he isn’t. Sakiko and Chisato are real people they’re opinions, judgments, and actions have an impact on her. If they know the dumb shit she’s done or see her vulnerable, they’re judgment would hurt so much, because it’ll mean something.

The Hatter is fake, he may exist, but everything about him feels fake. It’s not like talking to a real person; she’s talking to a character, someone whose existence only impacts Wonderland. Everything about him is so far detached from reality, even Wonderland feels like she’s stepped into another world; it feels like nothing here matters. Like saying things to an imaginary friend or Kiyo. It means nothing, so why bother with boundaries? But, the Hatter exists and can give some sort of proper response. He’s not real enough, not enough of a person for her hang ups to matter, but enough of a person that it doesn’t feel like she’s talking to herself.

He falls into this uncanny valley of existence and it brings her a sense of comfort. There’s someone she can tell stupid things too, someone who can hear her, but not impact her. He’s a step up from talking into the void, but still a step down from talking to people. She can relax and have no fear with him, something she thought she could only do alone.

“Do I have something on my face Alice?”

“Huh, ah no, hey, you want to hear something stupid that happened after I broke my arm?” She stares back at the sky as she changes the topic.

“What’s that?”

“A couple days after a kid at school was annoying me, but I couldn’t punch him because of my arm. I was so upset I couldn’t fight because of my cast, I went home and tried to cut it off with a handsaw.”

“What!?” he slaps a hand over his mouth as he laughs.”

“My dad caught me before I broke through it all and had to take me to get it redone; I was so upset I didn’t talk to him for a whole day.”

“I never imagined my Alice was such a violent child,” he teases.

“You have no idea, I was a garbage kid. Like bad seed, demon spawn type shit. My parents would have had better luck raising a rabid dog, I swear.”

“You couldn’t have been that bad.”

“You want to bet? I swear every kid and their parents hated me. One time, a kid’s mom brought in cupcakes I didn’t like, so I pushed him off the jungle gym. Who does that!?”

“Alice, that’s awful!”

“I know, I was the worst, I’m not sure how my folks put up with me.”

“Lots of patience, I’m sure.”

“I think my dad still has a scar from when I bit him for telling me to go to bed.”

“You’re starting to sound more like the jabberwock than my Alice.”

“I can see that, I might be a jabberwock in disguise, you never know.”

“I’d still be happy to have you, even as a jabberwock. I’d adore you, claws and all.”

“You’re too sweet-oof,” the wind is knocked out of her as Cheshire hops onto her chest, “well, hello to you too.”

“What’s that Cheshire? Hmmm, you’d love Alice as a jabberwock too, guess we’re in agreement.”

“Awww, is that true sweetie?” She scratches over the cat’s fur, feeling Cheshire lean into her touch and purr.

“She means every word of it, no matter what she’d adore you.”

Heat flood Tsuneko’s cheeks, he’s really too nice to her, even knowing he helped sell her she can’t help thinking how nice he is.

“Hey, there’s even constellations up there,” Tsuneko points up at the projected night sky, “I’m pretty sure that’s Capricorn.”

“Do you know the constellations Alice?”

“A few of them, not a lot though, there was a girl in my class who could find and name them all in a second.”

There’s a pang in her heart, guilt eating at her when she thinks about that girl, but she swallows it down like bile and pushes those thoughts from her mind. She wants to be happy right now, in this little piece of Wonderland completely divorced from reality and in front of this odd man who seems to only exist here, she wants to be happy.

“Hmm, I’m afraid I don’t know any of them, Alice.”

“I only learned a few from other people; if I’m being honest they don’t mean anything to me. It all looks like random dots to me, the stories are interesting though.”

“Did you get invited out a lot, Alice?”

“Uhhh, invite isn’t really the right word, I just kind of showed up, whether anyone wanted me there or not. They’re fun though, have you ever been to anything like that?”

“Huh!? Uh, I can’t remember clearly, I’ve been in Wonderland for the past four years, so…”

“You haven’t been outside in four years?”

“Huh? Of course not,” his voice trembles and his eyes widen, “are you suggesting I go above ground, your jokes are too much Alice.”

“Hmm, okay, I understand.”

She’s not sure she does fully, but she can tell he must not want to push the issue. Maybe he’s agoraphobic? Why wouldn’t he ever want to leave, he’s even more cut off from reality then she realized. Does he have a family? Do they know what he does?

Does she want to know?

If she knew about those things, he’d be more human. If he’s more human, would she still feel so safe being like this with him? Would this new-found sense of comfort, a strange almost friendship, be ruined once he’s real?

Her eyelids are heavy and she can’t help yawning. How late is it? She checks the time on her phone, it’s past two am, how did time pass by so quickly?

“Are you tired Alice?” The Hatter asks with a soft voice, it feels like a lullaby to her sleepy brain.

Even in Wonderland, completely separate from reality, she’s not going to sleep in front of someone. The most she’s ever allowed is the occasional dozing off at hair salon, but those are never deep or enough for dream, just resting her eyes before she’s told to move. If she allows herself to sleep here, it’ll be a deep dreamy sleep. She’ll have a nightmare and scare him, or worse. There’s no place far enough from reality for her to allow herself to be that vulnerable.

“Yeah, I have to get headed home.” She pulls herself up to her feet and the hatter follows suit.

“Oh…you know, you could sleep here.”

“Uh, no, I couldn’t intrude like that.”

“It wouldn’t be intruding; I…have a room you can use.”

“Huh, you do?”

“I do and it might not be safe for you to walk alone so late.”

“My dorm is like five minutes away.”

His eyes focus on the floor and he pouts.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

His voice is soft and timid; he looks like a lost puppy dog. If he has another bedroom, there are a couple of doors around Wonderland, then she wouldn’t be near him while she was sleeping. So, it wouldn’t be an issue.

“Alright, where’s the spare room?”

“Oh! Yes! It’s right this way! ~”

He’s back to excited child status and all but skips towards one of the doors. She trails after him, movements sluggish with exhaustion. The Hatter opens the door like he’s revealing the most magical of secrets and her eyes widen.

The room is gorgeous, if not for the fact it would mean living with someone, Tsuneko wouldn’t mind staying here permanently. Part of the walls are soft floral patterns, the lower half pastel blue and white vertical stripes. The bed has a soft blue blanket and pale pink canopy.

“It’s so cute!”

“I’m glad you like it, you can use it anytime you want.”

“I really appreciate it, thanks.”

“It’s no problem, I’m happy to have you here; I’ll let you sleep now.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Alice.”

She waves him off for the night and shuts the door, why does he have the extra room? It seems like an odd thing to keep, the March Hare and Dormouse obviously don’t stay here. But, everything about him is odd, so maybe it’s best not to question things. She sends a quick text asking Chisato to check on Kiyo if she can and kicks off her boots, she doesn’t exactly have pajamas here, but she’s tired enough to fall asleep in anything.

Maybe it’s the stress of the shopping trip with Carolina finally coming down on her or having just gotten to relax with someone, either way she doesn’t feel the usual resistance to getting ready to sleep. She’s ready to crash already, she just hope she doesn’t make any noises to attract attention to her room.  The walls don’t seem too thin, but that doesn’t mean soundproof.

She sets an alarm on her phone, tosses off her jacket and undoes the bun that’s been holding up half of her hair before throwing herself on the bed. It’s plush and so soft; it isn’t just nice to look at. Tsuneko roots and finds her way under the blanket; her eyelids grow heavier and heavier as she drifts off to sleep.

A deafening sort of silence overwhelms her as Tsuneko stands in the house; too cold, too dark, and too quiet to be considered a home.

The silence is pierced as rope shifts and wood creaks. Her heart pounds in her ears and she jolts into movement. A different kind of overwhelming, too quiet replaced with too loud, complete whiplash.

Too loud.

Too desperate.

Hot tears stream down her face, her lungs burn with the need to breath. It’s like she’s on fire, heat simmering under her skin and sweat running down the back of her neck.

Tsuneko sees her. Long dark hair falls over her face, noose wrapped tighter around her neck and the wood creaks with the strain to hold her body up. She doesn’t look dead, like she could move or breathe any second. Maybe, Tsuneko can save her.

She’s under them, forcing their weight up onto her shoulders. If she can lift them up higher, she can reduce the tension, stop them from strangling.

If only she was taller.

If only she was stronger.

If only she was smarter.

If only she was faster.

If only she was better.

If only she was enough.

But she’s not.

The weight of the body slumps heavy her shoulders, they’ve gone cold and decay is setting in.

Too short, she couldn’t get them up higher.

Too weak, couldn’t lift them up further.

Too stupid, why didn’t she grab a ladder, something to cut the rope?

Too late, if only she had gotten there sooner.

Too cruel, that’s why they’d choose death over her.

She’s not enough good things and too many bad things, a disgusting mess that drives everyone away.  

Death is more desirable than her.

Death was better than one more moment with her.

Tsuneko wakes up with a jerk, knocking a pillow over in her frenetic movement. Her face is soaking wet, hot tears flooding her vision, she tries to wipe them away but her fingers are numb and trembling.

She can’t catch a deep enough breathe; every breath is a desperate gasp that just feels too shallow to keep her going. Her throat is tight, like it’s swelling and her heart won’t stop pounding.

Just a little peace, that’s all she wants. Why is that too much to ask? Why is her mind constantly reminding her of every failure, why does she have to be such a failure?

She needs to get away. Doesn’t matter where, just away.

Her hands are shaking; she nearly drops her phone and puts her jacket on inside out. She doesn’t bother zipping her boots, just shoving her feet into them before moving.

That’s all she needs to do right now, is move, go, get away. The door of the spare bedroom closes behind her with a noise and her panic fogged brain can just hear the sound of water running.

It’s coming from the bathroom, a shower.

The Hatter is taking a shower, so mundane, but so odd to think of with him. His hair color and makeup would be completely washed away, he must look…human. The water stops and the door starts to creak open. If she stays she’ll see who he is, he’ll be real.

She’s gone.

The door to Wonderland slams shut behind her and she’s taking the stairs two at a time, just pushing forward with every stumble or trip that threatens to send her falling back down.

She doesn’t want to see the real him.

She doesn’t want to see him as a person.

She doesn’t want the illusion broken.

If she lets that happen…

It’s over.

It’s ruined.

Whatever glimmer of happiness, whatever minute amount of peace she’s found here will be destroyed.

He’ll be real, he’ll be human, and he’ll know what a mess she is.

He’ll have shown her the real him before he’s ready, there’s a reason he’s like this, he’ll never want to see her again.

She’s so sick of everything going to shit.

She’s sick of how fragile every moment of happiness is.

She doesn’t want to destroy anything else.

She doesn’t want to ruin anything else.

She doesn’t want to be like this.

Why can’t she stop being like this?

Why can’t she just be happy?

Her feet hurt. She stops moving, a few random people brushing past her without concern for her state. She’s somewhere in the city, she’s not sure where. She just kept moving.

She’s breathing heavy, but it’s different. Huffs from exertion rather than panic. Her heart is starting to calm. Her limbs are heavy and leaden, but no longer numb. She just wants to fall down in the middle of the street and rest, maybe in the road so a truck tire can cave her skull in.

Instead, she checks her phone. She’s going to be late for work. If Ichinomiya thinks she’s avoiding work for the bet, she’ll lose automatically.

Does it even matter?

Can she even get her life back on track if she wins?

Even if she does, will it make her happy?

It’s not like she was ever really happy before.

Maybe even if she wins she’d be better off dead.

She doesn’t have time for this anymore. She’s used up her daily allotted breakdown time it seems, mental health takes a back seat to a paycheck until further notice.

Tsuneko sits down at a nearby bus stop, looking at the schedules available and makes a call, a heavy sigh on her lips.

“Yeah, Kenzaki, I’m going to be late. Sorry for being a bother.”

Her voice cracks with how much she means it. She’s just making everyone else’s life harder, fucking things up, that’s all she ever does.

[elliott-loves-animals]

The Signs as DumDum flavors

Capricorn: Fruit Punch- never let down

Aquarius: Pina Colada- MMmm pineapple

Pisces: Mystery- you’ll hate the flavor and grab a different one...or two

Aries: Cream Soda- how does it taste like the real thing?

Taurus: Blue Raspberry- you tried it once and now you won’t turn back

Gemini: Bubblegum- gross

Cancer: Cherry- Cough medicine addict

Leo: Cotton Candy- you’re probably a vegan though

Virgo: Green Apple- you took the safe route

Libra: Watermelon- not what you were expecting

Scorpio: Grape- the sweet taste of children’s medicine

Sagittarius: Root Beer- you’re a strong independent woman, or, alternatively, a dude who wants to get wrecked

[yerbamansa]

Initial thoughts on Trader Joe's sour jelly beans

[ID: photo of colorful jelly beans arranged in a circle like petals of a flower. Clockwise from the top, they are blue, green, yellow, orange, and red. End ID.]

RED - definitely a sour cherry. punchy! yes!

ORANGE - made my eyelids squeeze shut with how tart a citrus flavor it is. MM!

YELLOW - mmmm lemonade-y, pucker up!

GREEN - probably supposed to be lime? a little bitter on the tongue with a sweeter aftertaste than the others.

BLUE - can't actually tell what this is supposed to be. maybe raspberry? really just tastes citric acid-y at first, then dissolves away to sweetness.

Personally I tend to like tasting multiple flavors of jelly beans in combination, but I haven't tested that yet.

[shibasommelier]

2015 Domaine des Champs Fleuris Saumur Champigny “Les Tufolies”

Mmmm... enjoying a lovely Cab Franc from the Loire. Raspberries, cherries, pencil notes (graphite and wood), violets, soil, and earth on the nose. Raspberries and cherries on the palate with woody soil mid-palate and a tart finish. Simple but great. What easy Cab Franc should be in a bistro!

4/5 bones

$$

Cabernet Franc

12.5% abv

Saumur Champigny (Loire), FRANCE

[margaritabloom]

Our "Love Witch" Cauldron Bath Bombs!!! Mmmm, they smell of dark cherries, cotton candy, musk, raspberry, violets, brown sugar, French Creme and tonka bean. Sooo heavenly! Perfect for your own love potion. *wink* Organic rosebuds are on top with a dusting of magical lustre! 💗💗💗 . #margaritabloom #lovewitch #pink #red #organic #rose #bathart #bath #bathbomb #bathtime #relax #habdmade #madewithlove #selfcare #vegan #crueltyfreebeauty #pamper #spooky #halloween #cauldron #witchythings #witch #magick #magic https://www.instagram.com/p/BpU2mC5gxfI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3gxo1ngl0aeg

[toffeebons]

Do all the ones with a 2

thanks sucker

2. what animal do you think you’re most like?: red panda pls12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I went to pride two years ago! Rly wanna go again ahhh20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books? I don’t read as often as I use to or like : ( But I do love books with well built universes and also thrillers and groups of queer friends haha currently sloowwwwly read through Proxy by Alex London!! 21. how would you describe your style? Queer floral art school student lmaooo I need more more button up floral shirts. Or honestly anything w cute patterns on them. ROMPERS. What is style 22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it? I have this purple fuzzy bear that I was told one of my favorite kindergarten teachers gave me. Found out my real dad gave it to me but it means a lot more thinking my teacher gave me ahhhhh I loved herrrrrr23. what’s something most people love that you hate? Coffee 😬 the smell and taste makes me ejdiwidiwk24. do you think you’re a good singer? Always25. who do you live with? My momma, brother and sisterrrr and wasabiiii and snubbles26. favorite desserts? CHEEESECAAAKKEEEE27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? MMMM PROBS making a Gaia rp account of toph lol Through that it eventually lead to all my best friends 🎉28. favorite makeup brands? ��\_(ツ)_/¯ only recently started getting more into makeup but I guess fenty and colour pop??29. favorite clothing stores/brands? UHH forever 21?? Clearance section is dope. Also I’ve become a slut for browsing through nike’s store ahahah32. what is your favorite part about your body? Butt and thighs lmaoooo but I’m becoming less self conscious about my face so that’s hella 👌🏼42. who is your biggest inspiration? Several of my best friends that I hope spread as much gratitude and happiness as they do 😭 As for art insp def Eli Baum and Viv Tanner UGH they revived my love for art and story telling w their comic Heart of Gold!!52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best? GREEN APPLLEEE!! THE MORE SOUR THE BETTEERRR!!!!!62. do you wear jewelry? Not rly, w the job I have Id need to take them on and off frequently and I don’t wanna lose anything sjdjj

[wiener-blut]

@fayn3ko tagged me!! thank u, sweetheart!! 💖

Rules: answer the following questions and tag 10 people you’d like to know better

Name: Lily

Gender: female

Star sign: Capricorn (but actually, Aquarius)

Height: 165cm/5′5

Age: 21

Wallpaper on your phone: a pic of red-haired baby Christoph beating the shit outta his drums

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

First crush on a teacher: oh boy, well. i was around 14/15 i think? and i crushed on my biology teacher to the point where i couldn’t concentrate on class anymore lmfao;; that wasn’t the only crush tho i was such a thirsty hoe LOL

Coolest halloween costume: i never celebrated halloween with dressing up and stuff, so its not really a costume but (i think it was two or three years ago) i had this makeup where i like painted my full face white and red veins were winding from around my eyes and it actually looked pretty cool

Favorite 90s show: there’s so many?? i honestly can’t just pick one;; keep in mind i was a smol Lily in the 90s, so the following will pretty much only be kid’s shows LOL but there was Disney’s Recess, The Angry Beavers, Art Attack, BUT, ABOVE ALL, there was Bear in The Big Blue House and Disney’s Adventures of the Gummi Bears

Last kiss: was a “goodbye see ya later” kiss to my gf who was leaving for work some hours ago 💗

Have you ever been stood up: i have no idea, actually, if yes, i forgot it

Favorite pair of shoes: i love shoes in general i can’t decide;; i love my black Doc Marten’s, i love my black, worn out boots, i love my black Chucks (who are more brown by now bc sun bleached them lmao), i love my black platforms. now u have a slight idea of how my shoe rack looks like; black.

Have you ever been to Vegas: nah

Favorite fruit: im bad at deciding omg i hate this......mmmm...raspberries!! mango!! kiwi!! peach!! strawberries!! cherries!! i love all fruits!!

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: thats a hard one;; probably ““falling in love”“ (or at least trying to convince myself i was in love lol) with that one guy when i was like 14, ugh

All time favorite tv shows: Sherlock, The Night Manager, Flesh And Bone

Last movie you’ve seen in the theaters: Avengers: Infinity War (i think??)

i tag no one bc im a lazy shit and im way behind so i guess y’all have been tagged before (if u didnt, feel free to pretend i tagged u!!)

[threemoonsareshining]

hey i can’t sleep it’s 1am and i’m too out of it to pick i can’t properly express how much i love reading your answers so just answer any / all of those fruit asks i know i said that last time but time is a lie and you’re a cool person yeet

Hi! Oh my god it’s me the one who can’t properly express how much I like getting your asks, and how weird it feels when someone tells you that they like your answers (I still don’t get how you find my ramblings interesting!), but I actually find writing them quite liberating, and it helps me practice my writing skills in English even though they’re not very good! Ok, so you ask for it, here are some long-ass answers

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos? No! I just had my ears pierced when I was a baby and I wear normal earrings. I don’t really want any kind of piercings because I find them soo unnecessary (for me personally), I don’t see the use in involuntarily mutilating my body you know (I hate needles). I don’t have tattoos either, and I’d like to get one someday, just something tiny and pretty, but then again we encounter the problem of needles…….

raspberry: favorite flower? I honestly love all kinds of flowers but I really like… orchids for example, and when I was little I used to be obsessed with wildflowers (I made bouquets all the time) and now every once in a while I go out to my garden and pick flowers so i can press them in a book and then stick them to an empty notebook (so cliche I know) but I just think they look so so nice.

passion fruit: how would you describe your style? Mmmm I don’t really know if I have a style, I’m really basic tbh. I wear simple clothing but somehow I always manage to differentiate myself from the rest, sometimes without even trying. Like, when I go shopping I get really annoyed because 90% of the shops in every mall are owned by the same company (Inditex) and want it or not, they always end up selling the same stuff, because it’s what everybody is wearing and they sell more you know, but I hate wearing That Exact Garment That Everyone Is Wearing This Season, unless I really really like it. But most of the time I just stick to a simple style, with plain colors, although now I’m trying to broaden my horizons and feel a little bit more comfortable showing a little more skin, which I don’t always like but I’m trying you know.

pineapple: sexual orientation? Ah, the eternal question. I’m honestly not sure. I spent a lot of time believing I was ace, I have always been “mocked” for my lack of sexual behaviours. When I was in middle school people thought it was because I was  a lesbian, but I gave it a lot of thought and I arrived at the conclusion that I wasn’t, I just didn’t have attraction towards anyone, which apparently people find completely incomprehensible. But this last year I’ve experienced some situations that have made me realise I might not be 100% ace, but it’s weird because I don’t think those feelings were towards anyone in particular, so I’m pretty confused. What I have more or less clear so far is that I need a lot of trust, and when I say a lot I mean a lot, like I need to “click” with that person in a special way so I am capable of feeling the minimum sexual desire, or at least to feel comfortable enough to engage in some kind of physical contact (even kissing, like, last year I couldn’t even stand people touching my arm, so yeah all kinds of physical contact are kind of big deal to me, specially with the opposite sex, idk why), and even then it doesn’t always happen. I still have a lot to figure out, but I’m not really stressed about it, right now I’m pretty much craving some human contact (this sounds contradictory to what I wrote above, I just think I avoid physical contact because I don’t really know how to react to those situations) and hopefully I’ll get it tomorrow, even if it’s from someone that hasn't been really been really nice to me

strawberry: favorite desserts? Always ice cream, or any of the cakes that my mom bakes because they are all delicious.

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing? I used to take violin lessons and I self-taught a little of piano, but last year I didn’t have time to do anything and I ended up dropping everything art-related, which pretty much killed my soul. Giving up violin was to be expected, since it was never my passion, it felt more like an obligation because my parents pressured me a lot, and by doing that I refused to practice as much as I should so I never got to see much progress and I got stuck, while the rest of my mates kept getting better and better, which discouraged me even more. With piano, I enjoy a lot playing the little I know, and I’ve composed some themes (without any actual academic knowledge of music of course) but I think they sounded pretty good given that I came up with them with 14 years old or so. Right now I have some themes in mind (it’s amazing because I came up with them like 4 years ago and I still haven’t forgotten them, which is dangerous because I haven’t written or recorded them…). Regarding singing, I like to do it (as I type this I’m performing Africa by Toto with my heart and soul and I bet my neighbour wants to kill me right now) but I’m too shy to sing in front of people, even though I’ve been told I’m good at it (my voice isn’t strong at all btw). I’ve just performed alone in public once and I still don’t know how I managed to do it without having a nervous breakdown. Anyways, yesterday I was home alone and I started singing while doing my hair and I was surprised by myself like “woah bitch when did you learn to do that with your voice” and it was a nice feeling.

banana: favorite horror movies? Mmmmm I’m not a fan of horror movies, I’ve only started to watch some this year. For example, the only horror movie I’ve seen in an actual cinema was A quiet place, and it wasn’t even that scary, but I really liked it. I’ve also seen The Others and The Shining, which were also pretty scary for me hahah

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama? My life is one of those pretentious indie European drama movies in which nothing happens, except it’s not aesthetically pleasing

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident? The other day I was wearing a clean pyjama and I was freshly shaven and honestly, I had the confidence to kill a man.

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup? I’m trying to perfect the art of achieving a natural makeup that actually looks natural, but problem: I’m bad at it and I don’t have the right products to do it.

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be? I’d be a dryad, an elf or something that lives in the forest, nothing like a mermaid or a creature that lives in the water because I’m afraid of it, just let be me eaten by the moss please and thank you

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic? I’ve said it like 461654 times but Plant Life by Owl City is me, like, if that song was a person, it would be me.

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night? I love the night because it feels like time stops. If I’m alone, I don’t feel judged because there’s no one else to see me, I can just enjoy the world when everything’s quiet and if I stay awake till dawn I get to see how the world wakes up which is also really nice. I also like the night when I’m with people, I can’t describe the feeling, like, when I breathe deeply, I feel some butterflies in my stomach (sometimes it’s the anxiety and I want to end my suffering right there but other times it’s like a nice way of feeling excited), just being surrounded by people... it gives me a weird feeling (my way of expressing this is so shitty i’m sorry)

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person? I’ve always been known for being stone cold and emotionless, but actually I am Very Sensitive, everything affects me, even if I’m not the target of it (I would get really upset at school when my classmates were mean to teachers because I felt so so so so bad for them and my mom told me like “but the haven0t done anything to you!” and I’m like I know but my soul is in pain what can I do). Despite this, I never cried once at school, I just let it all out when I got home (I would cry a lot outside), and that’s why everyone thought I had no feelings, when actually I had a lot of them, too many, I just got really really good at hiding them. This is now a problem since I find myself incapable of expressing my feelings to other people. I’m good at rationalising them to myself, I can distance myself from my own perspective and think “You’re feeling this because of that”, but there’s a difference between being able to acknowledge your feelings objectively and actually having the capability to control them, or change them (that’s why they’re feelings, they’re the opposite of “objective” and they can’t just be turned off whenever you want). This is the reason why it’s so exhausting to be concealing them all the time like I do or not even that, just trying to canalise negative feelings instead of avoiding them can be really hard. So yeah, to sum up, I’m very emotional, but I’d like to believe I’m very self-aware so I can find some kind of balance.

orange: do you have long eyelashes? I actually do, but only because I apply ricin oil every night before bed. I did it just to give it a try but my lashes are now not only longer, but also denser (I have lots of new hairs popping out, it’s very nice to see). I do it because I hate wearing mascara, and I want them to look fuller without having to apply anything.

apricot: what do you do when you’re sad? When I’m very very sad I just get this sinking feeling in my chest, which I can’t express with words how much I hate it, it reminds me of all the times I’ve gotten that feeling in my life and makes me feel completely miserable. When I feel like that, there’s literally nothing else I can do but lie feeling just kind of paralyzed. I often try to watch a tv show, and even though I can’t concentrate on it and I’ll probably end up having to rewatch that episode, it distracts me a little. I also play music, but it sometimes makes it even worse. Lately, when I feel really down, or anxious (specifically anxiety over things I know are stupid and no big deal, but things that my brain decides to worry about anyway), I end up cleaning something very thoroughly, like my bedroom or bathroom while listening to some playlist with mainstream songs that I know the lyrics to but that I’m not emotionally attached to so I can keep my mind busy until lunchtime or until I have to go out.

star fruit: favorite sea creature? I used to be obsessed, and when I said obsessed I mean obsessed with whales, specifically beluga whales. I have a stuffed beluga toy, a beluga notebook and I still have the picture of a beluga hung on my wall (it’s not big I swear it’s not that bad now). I also made my mom tell my tales about belugas for like 6 or 7 years every single night (I can’t remember when exactly she stopped doing it but I can tell you I was old enough to feel really, really ashamed of it if anyone found out about it), now I feel sorry for her because it must had been a really big effort for her… I was obsessed with dolphins as well, I remember crying while watching dolphin documentaries on tv because I wanted one so bad and my parents tried to explain me that that was just… not possible. Oh I also have those figurines that glow in the dark with whale shapes (you know those stars that are on the ceiling of kids’ rooms? well just like that but with whales, I still have them)

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol? I do, and I know it’s really unhealthy but I mean… besides that I’m a pretty healthy girl, I don’t smoke, I don’t eat processed foods and I work out every once in a while… you gotta live a little. And it’s also nothing like drinking every day or anything, it’s just that when I go out with friends I drink, heavily, but I still know when to stop (I’ve only gone overboard like… twice, and it was nothing serious, like, you end up getting all your dinner out and with a terrible hangover the next day). It’s funny because when I’m drunk and my head is spinning, I can still see myself trying to rationalise everything and i have some principles as a drunk girl: 1. Watch your step as gracefully as you can 2. Be nice and try to help everyone, stranger or not 3. Pick up the things you drop on the ground because the environment is still in danger 4. If someone needs to go to pee, especially if it’s one of your girlfriends, don’t let them go alone. It’s actually a little sad because one of the main reasons why I drink at parties it’s because I get really anxious in social situations, and it helps me feel a little less self-conscious, but lately it doesn’t do the trick, and I just stare into space and my mind goes blank every time someone talks to me, and them feeling terrible about my lack of social skills… I should fix that

This was really nice to write, it kept me busy for a while, just what I needed. I don’t know if you go through all of it but hey at least it helped me!

Have a nice nice day!!! 🍃🍃🍃🍂🍂🍂

[foxmonkey]

I love beverages. If I had a big enough kitchen, I’d have a separate refrigerator just for juice, tea, and pop (my brother teases me about my life-long desire for a drinks fridge).

I’ve been craving something different lately, and decided I wanted to make some homemade Shirley Temples (yeah, don’t laugh). I like to combine juices and pop and tea in different delicious, refreshing  combinations. 

Shirley Temples! I actually only had one for the first time a couple of years ago; while out with friends, one of the ladies ordered one and I was intrigued (I’m also all about cherries in any form). The restaurant we were at used 7-up for theirs, but it was nice and tasty and I got extra cherries because I’m a cherry slut. And grenadine is pomegranate-based, which I don’t think I knew. 

So a couple of weeks ago I’m thinking, I’m gonna make my own Shirley Temples. I pulled up the recipe online and discovered a classic ST is made with ginger ale. Who knew? But I don’t drink ginger ale because it makes me sneeze, so I made mine with Sprite. Mmmm, yum! Then I decided I’d try the classic, and bought some ginger ale. YUM! Bonus: either the grenadine or the stirring disrupts whatever it is that makes me sneeze. so WIN.

Here’s what I’ve tried with grenadine so far:

Sprite: Yum!

Jarrito grapefruit pop: Yum!!

Ginger ale: VERY yum!

Arizona Raspberry tea: pretty damn tasty! (with added maraschino cherry juice from the jar!)

Coconut water: -10/10, would not recommend!

Mmmmmmmmmm, beverages. Mmmmmmmmmm, drinks fridge (some day).

[hobiflu-remade]

RULES - answer 15-20 questions and tag 15-20 followers you would like to get to know better

i was tagged by @bbyjeon! thank you mi amor for tagging me!! 💕

NAME: aalia

NICKNAME: aalie

ZODIAC SIGN: gemini

HEIGHT: 5′4″/ 162 cm (ish)

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, urdu, proficient in french

NATIONALITY: pakistani-american

FAVOURITE FRUIT: raspberries, mangoes, and cherries!!

COFFEE, TEA, HOT CHOCOLATE: coffee :)

FAVOURITE SEASONS: autumn & summer (if it’s not crazy hot)

FAVOURITE FLOWER: yellow roses

FAVOURITE SCENTS: coffee, lavender, rose, freshly baked cookies

FAVOURITE COLOURS: green, blue, and black

FAVOURITE ANIMAL(S): koalas 

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: uhhhh 5 or 6

DOG OR CAT PERSON: i love both hhhhh...cats

FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER(S): ed from fullmetal alchemist (there’s more but i can’t think of anything atm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) 

NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH: 1 or 2 if it’s real cold

DREAM TRIP: visit france again or go to tokyo with my sisters!

BLOG ESTABLISHED: uh like 2 weeks ago LOL but i’ve been on tumblr for years

FOLLOWERS COUNT: ... :) 

RANDOM FACT: i’m a black belt in martial arts (so i can whoop anyone who makes fun of my boys’s ass)

mmmm i tag @bunjunggukie @screaminghoseok @jkluvclub @ilyhyyh @stupefyoongi @lovehobi @hqjimin & whoever else wants to do it!! y’all don’t have to do it if you don’t wanna 💕💕💕

[psychedelic-mood]

Tagged by @floydsbian omg sorry for not doin this sooner i forgot lol, thank you!

name: Jess

zodiac sign: capricorn >;^)

height: 5’7”

languages spoken: English, mediocre Spanish

nationality: American

favorite fruit(s): cherries, peaches, mangos, raspberry, n oranges!

favorite season: mmmm probably spring and summer cuz i can slut it up without freezin lol

favorite scent: vanilla, coffee, coconut, citrus

favorite color(s): pink, orange, green, grey

favorite animal(s): bunnies and sharks!!! im very passionate about them aha

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffeeeeee, gotta luv that chemical dependency

average hours of sleep: between 2-6

favorite fictional character: ooooAH i dunnoooo! my wife is probably angelina jolie in girl, interuppted tho

dream trip: to the oregon coast and never back! or to the nima sand museum in japan, or the frida kahlo museum in mexico

blog created: i made this one this time last year! but i’ve been on tumblr since 2011

i taaaaaag @somekale @softly-into-dirt @elizabeethian @ritchieblackmore @videung @vanguts @down-the-rabbits-hole-for-tea @minihood13 and anyone else that i forgot or wants to do it!