#rather than whatever else I’d be doing in a crossover post

[fierykitten2]

Sometime two years ago (I specifically remember it was so early on in the SV hype cycle we didn’t know Paldea’s name yet. So basically anytime in the first two thirds) I made a post where I assigned starters to the trio I refer to as “the Afterthoughts” (Falcon, Samus and Fox. I call them that because Nintendo doesn’t seem to like their sci-fi series much. Metroid’s an exception now but it’s had some problems with it in the past too). Now, I want to assign starters to the characters I ship them with the most - Robert, Madeline and Falco for the sake of this post I’m gonna pretend I prefer SamusxMadeline to FalconxSamus. There are some patterns again I’ve unintentionally fallen into - Falco almost always has the same starter as Falcon even in regions without a birb start, Madeline frequently has the same starter as Samus and Robert… well I guess he tends to default to Fox’s starter but I’m not really noticing when that happens as much as I am with the other two (I am slowly noticing every time I fall into that trap). Also I could have waited an extra few months so that I could make sure to assign them starters in a way so that they each get a Z-A starter like how I’m doing for both trios with the Hisui starter trio but I came up with the idea today so I’m doing it today

Kanto:

Robert gets Bulbasaur

Madeline gets Squirtle

Falco is left with Charmander

Johto:

For some reason I’m really tempted to give Robert Cyndaquil (this has nothing to do with their eyes I just think until it evolves Cyndaquil gives off some kind of Fennekin vibes and there’s no way I’m missing the opportunity to pair the guy who owns the Golden Fox with a starter that reminds me of Fennekin)

Madeline gets Chikorita

Falco is left with Totodile (I swear I’m not always saving him til last)

Hoenn:

Falco has to have Torchic

The other two are hard to pair up but I think Madeline only just works better with Mudkip than any of the other three possible pairs

Robert ends up with Treecko. This annoys me because this is who I paired Falcon up with (for reference he does end up with Blaziken it’s just I decided there would be a whole trade thing going on in Hoenn after they’ve all had the chance to fully-evolve their starters). The strange thing is, this is the only pair in Hoenn that annoys me for that reason despite all of them having the same starter as their partners pre-trade (Samus starts with Mudkip and ends up with Sceptile while Madeline gets Mudkip, Fox starts with Torchic and ends up with Swampert while Falco gets Torchic, Falcon starts with Treecko and ends up with Blaziken while Robert gets Treecko)

Sinnoh:

Falco gets Piplup

I just think Robert makes most sense with Turtwig out of all the Sinnoh starters (even Piplup)

Madeline is left with Chimchar. I hate it too but someone has to have that ugly monkey

Unova:

Robert and Snivy

This is mainly because I worked out the other two Hisui starters first but Madeline gets Oshawott

Falco is left with Tepig. I don’t understand this pairing either

Kalos:

Robert has Fennekin. There is no way he doesn’t get Fennekin

I guess Madeline and Chespin makes sense. Why not

Falco is once again left with the starter I paired up with Falcon - Froakie

Alola:

Falco and Rowlet (this one was obvious bc birb but can I please pair him up with a starter that I haven’t paired Falcon with)

Somehow I just think Madeline most makes sense with Primarina so she gets Popplio. She’s either nicknaming it Melissa or Samus even though it’s most likely male

This leaves Robert with Litten. Given out of the three of them he matches Incineroar’s build most… idk what to say about that I just wanted to point that out

Galar:

I’ll be honest this one was the hardest to pair up. Robert and Madeline both seem like they’d be sympathetic enough to choose Sobble but in the end I decided to pair Robert with Sobble

Madeline gets Grookey

Falco finally doesn’t share a starter with Falcon as he gets Scorbunny instead (genuinely this is the only region he doesn’t share with Falcon. No one shares with their partner in this region bc they all get the starter weak to their partner’s choice. Also somehow I forgot that my ships and who seems to align most starter-wise is not the same for the blue birbs and gold foxes so I accidentally ignored how both Robert and Fox have ended up with Sobble)

Paldea:

Falco once again shares a starter with Falcon - Quaxly (good choice though. Not that I ever give them a bad choice the two worst starters belong to Samus/Madeline although I don’t like Totodile that much)

Robert and Sprigatito. It makes slightly less sense but I actually prefer pairing him up with Spriggie than I do pairing him up with Fennekin (few reasons: a) I prefer the Sprigatito line, b) it matches my insistence on Falcon having a Quaxly/Quaquaval, c) I tend to ignore Skeledirge’s existence while thinking about Meowscarada and Quaquaval and this just gives me an excuse to do that)

Madeline is left with Fuecoco. Once again, I hate that I have to do this but someone has to end up with the ugly croc

And then Hisui is Robert with Cyndaquil, Madeline with Oshawott and Falco with Rowlet

Yeah sure I can count up just how many times Robert shares with Fox, Madeline shares with Samus and Falco shares with Falcon:

Robert shares five six out of eleven (I’m gonna count Hisui separately and I’m counting Hoenn twice) with Fox - Bulbasaur, Turtwig, Fennekin, Litten, Sobble and Sprigatito

Madeline shares six out of eleven with Samus - Squirtle, Mudkip (pre-trade), Chimchar, Chespin, Popplio and Fuecoco

Falco shares nine out of eleven with Falcon - Charmander, Totodile, Blaziken (post-trade), Piplup, Tepig, Froakie, Rowlet, Rowlet again and Quaxly

[traffics-travels]

Get ready for a title wave!

Wussup. The name’s Traffic, and I’m somewhat of an explorer. A friend of mine encouraged me to make this blog so I can document my travels. So like. Here we are.

I’ve got a loooot of free time, so you can like. Totally ask me questions ‘n stuff. Way more fun than traveling alone, heh.

(the pfp is temporary, but the banner was drawn by @drakothedragon55, who also runs this blog. Hi!)

Weather you’re from the Phighting Phandom or not, I welcome you to my Traffic askblog! Obviously, this blog revolves around Traffic and his antics, but don’t be surprised to see some guest appearances as well.

Rules, this Traffic's reference sheet, and just about everything else is below the cut!

⚠️ Rules ⚠️

AUs, RPs, OCs, memes, other in-character blogs, medias/crossovers, you name it. It’s all allowed! Just don’t be weird and we’re cool.

Blog owner isn’t a minor, but I’d rather not get blatantly NSFW/gross asks. You can totally flirt or whatever with the silly stoner man though lol.

Please be patient with me. I’m currently in college, and managing a few other blogs as well. I’m just doing this for fun, so I might not get around to everyone’s asks if this blog gets popular :/

Because of ^ this ^, I won’t always be able to include a drawing with Traffic’s answer. Sorry!

I try to follow canon, but at the end of the day this is my interpretation of Traffic. There’s definitely some headcanons mixed in.

If you want to talk to me, the mod, in any way, then you can call me Drako. She/Her pronouns, please!

🚧 Common Tags 🚧

These are liable to change in the future!

#traffic phighting, #art, #parody account, #roblox fanart - general tags that you’ll see on just about all of my posts.

#traffic talks - anything in-character. You’re gonna see this tag the most I’m sure lol.

#traffic art - ranges from doodles, to asks with drawings. (All traffic-related in some way ofc.)

#text answer - anything in-character, but without any images.

#ooc - anything out of character.

🚦Reference Sheet🚦

“Traffic”

27, and 5’8. He/Him pronouns.

Creates & sells trinkets and accessories, all made from random junk he finds during his travels.

Can, and has, used his sign for self defence.

Surprisingly strong.

Typical backpack contents include: a pair of sneakers, some water, “smokes”, and snacks (and that’s not even mentioning the signs and whatnot that stick out of it.)

Left horn is slightly damaged.

[shadow-pixelle]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: Make a new post and post the latest line in your WIP & tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like). 

I got tagged by @shootingstarpilot for this, which is very neat. Never actually done one of these before properly, so I'mma share two different last sections; some from my current in-progress Big Fic, and then some from the last thing I actually wrote.

(Under a cut because two snippets is gonna be long.)

So first off, the last thing I actually wrote;

'“Jesus.” Tim muttered. “I sort of wish I hadn’t asked, now.”

Phantom flushed, going slightly green. “Sorry.”

“Hey, better to know than not, isn’t it? If there’s a chance of running into stuff like this?”

“I- well, yes, but it’s not your job to deal with them.”

“Yeah, well, the magic users in the League aren’t always gonna be around, and even if it’s your job to come grab them, they might still need delaying or whatever.” Tim shrugged. “So I’d rather know.”

“That’s fair.” Phantom admitted, shifting to lean back in his seat. “So. Anything else you want to know?”'

I'm not 100% sure what's going to happen to this, admittedly, but this is the end result of my attentive deficit muse getting into two new-old fandoms recently so there we go. It's DC/Danny Phantom.

Anyway, second off, the last little bit of my current main project, which has been going on-and-off for a while;

'

“Huh.” Fox says, after a few attempts that die before he manages to get a word out. “Ok. Right. Ghost let me go so I can go hug my vod, please.”

Ghost does not let Fox go, and instead after a moment the entire mass of darkness lifts up into the air and floats over the group to place Fox down next to Ponds. Then it vanishes, and Fox promptly grabs on to him while the rest of the batch crowd around.'

This one's a crossover too, the end result of me just deciding that Weird Eldritch Things Are Neat, Actually and starting writing without thinking. It's now 15 chapters and like, 60k words, not quite done, but also hit a roadblock recently in the form of the aforementioned 'falling into new-old fandoms again' thing. It's Star Wars/Hollow Knight.

checks my people list uuuuuh right I don't have many people to tag really... @kalicofox is my main writing buddy, so here you go, and then I guess anyone else who sees this and feels like doing it can go ahead as well? No pressure, of course, there's a lot going on.

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[folerdetdufoler]

Hi!! How are you doing? I know some authors would rather not answer questions about works in progress or future fic, so you do my have to answer if you don’t want to. But I do miss your new writing very much, and I was wondering if you are working on something. I hope you are doing really good!

i'm sure my answer would change on a different day but to be honest i think i need to talk about it as much as you do. i lost my twitter account so i lost the little prompts or WIPs i had started there, which i would eventually come back to when i had time. so i'm going to use this to outline what i have in progress and what i'd like to do in the future.

1) young royals crossover / mondays at sixteen update - i had an idea and started writing this on twitter: isak and even are down at the harbor swimming, and even spots wilhelm and simon there, vacationing somewhat anonymously. he takes creepshots from a distance, just like he had done with isak back in the day, and approaches the prince to share them (leaving a terrified and embarrassed husband behind on his towel). even is allowed to text the photos to the prince, but then is ordered to delete any evidence of the exchange from his phone: the photos, the prince's number, etc. it was a random and strange encounter that neither isak nor even thought was going to be relevant again...until even gets a text from an unknown number. it's the prince, and he's requesting even's photography services.

so there's that, and i have about 22k written for it. i don't know how long it's going to be, and i don't really have a decent plot for it, just that initial hook. but that will most likely be the next thing i post.

2) number nine! once upon a time i had hoped i would do my next chaptered fic in time for the big bang, but like...lol. i have about 17k of that written and i haven't touched it in months. i'll go back to that next. i'm writing isak in his second year at nissen, and jonas is his bff, and he'll meet even through his mom (marianne), who is a professor at a university in oslo. i don't think isak's friendship with jonas will be really important, but it's one of the first things i wrote about, so for a while i was really focused on figuring out who jonas was going to be. and sana is there, as isak's nerdy classmate.

this one still feels pretty vague, like i don't have an arc for it yet. i know a couple of small specific scenes i want to set, and i've already mapped out the floor plan of isak's house. but i don't have the ~grand~ story i like to give to my chaptered fics.

3) oh god i think i lost whatever tidbits i'd written for the next one, but i want to try childhood-friends-to-lovers after that. there was also something i had called a "running fic" and i don't know if that's going to be the same thing. but i want to explore that dynamic, to see how people's relationships change as they grow up and figure out what intimacy looks like. that also seems like a good opportunity for some...pining. and for the running fic, isak and even were probably going to be on a cross country/track team at school, maybe teammates or maybe rivals. but the competition of a sport would certainly add some spice. ugh, these might be two separate fics. but i'm lumping them together because they're both involving a younger isak and even, with more of a history together.

4) i had started a thread on twitter of even as a psychologist who ends up back at nissen as the school nurse, once skrulle retires. he and isak had gone to school together just like in canon, a year apart, but they'd never officially met or been more than "person i walk past in the hall once in a while." but then as adults isak has a teenaged daughter who goes to nissen, and isak is concerned about her performance/social life. even gets to know the daughter, olivia, at isak's request, and isak and even start this professional relationship that GUESS WHAT becomes something more. somehow. i hadn't written beyond even meeting olivia and starting to develop that trust bond that he would need in order to actually help her with whatever is going on. isak would probably be more in need of a psychologist than olivia though, considering his closeted past. but hey! we're getting into actual parent characters! how adult of me.

um, and there might be more things if i go back through my writing tag, or if someone remembers anything from twitter, or sends me other prompts. but those are the ones that are the most "formed" in my head, as places that i can go to whenever i want to play with another story. someone once asked for more "married evak" and i'm kind of doing that with the mondays at sixteen updates. but maybe i'll get into something standalone to fulfill that too.

AHHH i just remembered i wanted to write a pandemic fic??!! which is so weird to think about because i remember i had been worried i wouldn't write a pandemic well but jesus fucking christ we've been in one for a year and a half now so i think i have done enough research there. shit, that was a thing from back in november at least, and that was before i had even thought up what number nine turned out to be. for the sake of my mental health though, THAT pandemic will have an ending. whether i'll write it faster than whatever happens in america is still to be determined though!

so there, we probably have at least four more chaptered fics coming. who knows what else will pop up in the meantime. i don't want them to be as long as magic eight ball but i've never been able to limit/edit myself in that regard.

[willowgast]

hi! i’m very interested in history and would love to study it in college, but i don’t know what careers i could get with a history major besides being a teacher. are you planning on becoming a teacher, or do you have other career suggestions for those studying history? tysm if you respond!

so, here's a testament to how terrible i am at running this ramshackle blog - i just found this in my drafts after goodness knows how long and frankly i dread to count back and find out. but it is a very good question and i am very, very sorry for taking probably months to do this, and even if this no longer interests you (i apologise again) i'm going to post anyway in case it interests somebody else. going under the cut because this might become a tad long-winded - there's also a tl;dr at the very end of the post for those who don't want to sift through my stream of thoughts.

i am not personally planning on becoming a teacher, at least not in a high school level or younger - still have far too many Spicy Memories from that age to want to return to a school setting in any capacity. academia does appeal to me a lot more as an option - i'm loving my dissertation work and there are lots of areas within my broad field of medieval northern europe with room for fresh, new research. i could specialise in any number of areas, but right now what appeals to me most is literary history and archaeology. unfortunately, my course isn't running the archaeology paper it usually offers as part of the second year setup this year, so i won't get to try out specialising in it, but it's something that's grabbed my attention more and more over the course of my first year of study.

beyond remaining within academia or going into archaeology, i've also considered museum work and archival work. my interest in working in a museum has sprung from a similar place to my interest in archaeology - i've discovered that staying holed up writing at a desk all day, every day can be very draining and, more importantly, that working with physical, material history right in my hands and before my very eyes is Really Super Cool and Exciting. i would very happily look into options for working in a museum in curation or conservation, helping to preserve artefacts and make them accessible to the general public. archival work comes from a similar place, too - i guess it combines my interest in literary history with the feeling of intimacy and immediacy that comes with working with material history.

steering away from fields directly relevant to history, i'd also love to spend some time working in a library - any kind at all, from my local public library to something more academic. one of the papers i'm taking is palaeography, the study of manuscripts, which i've developed a much greater fondness for than i expected to when i started. it's made me really interested in working in an academic library that curates and cares for collections of older manuscripts, i guess like a crossover of a library and a museum.

there's a few areas too that aren't directly related to my degree, but are helped and supplemented by it - these are translation, publishing, and creative writing. languages and literature have always been my strongest subject in school, so it helps a lot for me that my course is interdisciplinary, combining study of medieval languages, literature, and history rather than being strictly a history degree. i maintain a good standard of french and german from when i studied them at school and i'm also learning danish, norwegian, and swedish on the side. the last three are mainly just for reading purposes as i sometimes get set academic articles to read in those languages, but i'd love to work and study in norway some day so i'm practicing norwegian to a more proficient/practical level. at some stage, probably once i've completed my degree, i'd like to save some money aside to take exams and hopefully get qualifications in some of those languages - probably german and norwegian - just to have some formal acknowledgement of my work to hand if i ever want to pursue any programmes or qualifications in translation studies. literary translation, working with creative literature rather than formal documents or academic writing, is something i'm very sure i would enjoy.

publishing is harder to describe, i guess. i have a small role as the editor of my department's silly little student magazine and i'd like to expand and apply to editorial positions at other, marginally more respectable student publications - it's certainly a role i'm enjoying a lot, although i haven't done much research into the professional publishing industry yet. it's on the backburner until i pull my life together enough to properly research career options there.

alternatively, the one thing that has always been my go-to dream job since i was a kid is just 'writer'. i love writing fiction and poetry, i have spent at least some of my free time each week writing whatever comes to mind for as long as i can remember. i have a big fantasy project on the go at the moment that i don't really talk about on this blog, but i do now have the beginnings of a world anvil page talking about it which is linked in my pinned post. i'm not banking on it or considering it as a very reliable option, but i will keep slowly and lovingly building it until it's ready to share, and then i'll simply see what happens next.

(if it took off though, i would drop everything else in my life like a hot plate and live out my silly little childhood dream to its fullest potential. tween magnus deserves some justice in this life.)

anyways - TL;DR now:

jobs i'm personally interested in:

academia/professional scholar

museum curator or conservator

archaeology

archivist

librarian

literary translator

something in the publishing industry idk

writer

general history-degree-related advice:

there are more options out there than just teaching which are directly related to the field of history. the more you dig into your area of interest, the more weird and whacky jobs you never expected to exist will crop up on your radar - i'm sure there are plenty of obscure things i've missed out here. unless you become a tenured professor or senior curator or secure a job at a particularly fancy/prestigious institution, none of these jobs pay particularly well, and academia especially is known for treating everyone who isn't a tenured senior academic like mud. therefore you pretty much have to be in these jobs out of passion rather than a desire to live comfortably and with above-average financial success. finally, most people i know at university, regardless of their field, aren't aiming to find careers directly relevant to said fields (apart from like, med students and lawyers and that kind of thing). especially in the humanities. none of us really know what we're doing. if you're comfortable studying these subjects for the pure passion and joy of it, fantastic, i'm right there the same with you - if you want something that has a more stable degree-to-career progression, humanities right now probably aren't top subjects. there's a whole ongoing cultural debate about how criminally undervalued humanities degrees and jobs are, and i hope that soon we'll see some tangible results from this - among them that all of the jobs i've listed above will be marginally better paid, and junior academics better treated within their fields.

history is wonderful. come join us. (also if anyone else doing humanities has points or advice that i've missed out, please feel free to add them, my scope of experience is still very limited)

[hawkfurze]

Yo bro you gotta ko-fi or something? Your comics make me feel things and I wanna throw money at you for it

(in appreciation, I was halfway through typing that out before I thought of how that would sound. To be clear, I just think ya neat and wanna give ya walking around money. Not like, “pay to make” ew no that’s so rude)

(I am holding your icon in my hands saying “I just think they’re neat!”)

Awwww, thank you so much!!! I’m glad you enjoy my silly crossover so much, I have a lot of fun making it and I love seeing peoples responses to new parts! I’m incredibly excited for the next couple parts to come : )

As for a ko-fi, I’m actually against making money off of Not Quite Somewhere Else. It’s part of the reason that I was reluctant to post the comic on tapas until I read their TOS more, but I don’t want any money I make come from Not Quite Somewhere Else.

However I do plan on eventually reopening my Patreon for my original comic, The Shepherd of Oblivion, when I’m at a place where I can update it more often than I do without huge hiatus’s. I’m mentioning that because I also want to say I won’t be putting or advertising anything related to Not Quite Somewhere Else on it, one of the reasons being how Rusty Quill license for TMA is and I don’t intend for my comic to be seen as a rewrite or assumed to be a cannon continuation of their story (especially since my comic is a crossover with a different company’s IP).

However, if you do want to support me, I have a commission post pinned on my blog! I’d currently rather be supported money wise through that! And you can get art of whatever you want so long as you read the TOS first! It doesn’t even have to be TMA related if you don’t want it to be!

[orangepanic]

20 Fic Writer Questions

Finally getting around to this. Thanks for the tags @rasnak2 @theboyfrommakapu @old-and-new-friends

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

798,770. I want to do something when I get to one million, but that might be cry? I dunno, suggestions welcome.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Technically three: Avatar: Legend of Korra; Avatar: The Last Airbender; and Harry Potter. But I only have one ATLA fic and the HP one was a crossover. The vast majority of what I write is LOK.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“AWOL,” my S2 re-write

“Glass,” my sequel to that

“Firestorm,” my sequel to that

“Smoke,” an Equalist Asami fic

“The Lies We Tell Ourselves,” a post S1 fix-it where Iroh and Asami become roommates.

Which, now that I see this, I kind of love? Sometimes I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to write shorter, fluffier fics because they’re “fun” or whatever. And they are fun, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I need the brain break to write something like "Hotman" or "Mangosami." But it’s a nice reminder that over time what readers seem to enjoy the most are what I’d also consider my more “serious” writing, and that it’s okay for me to indulge in long multi-chapter fics even if they don’t deliver quick wins. If someone asked me for five fics of mine to recommend I’d not be at all disappointed with this list.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sometimes? I need to work on this. I love comments. I love them so much. But I have a few regular readers who are kind enough to comment on a lot of chapters, and I feel like I’m bothering them if I respond to every comment? Which maybe I shouldn’t? I don’t know. I’m so grateful for every reader and comment that I worry about chasing people away by being too needy. But then I love it when authors respond to my comments, so...?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

“Yao Li’s Blade” for sure, my fic about Ozai’s hair stylist. It’s not even close. My Irosami is all angst with a happy ending — though “Smoke” may tip that balance by the time I finish it.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hard to say because I have a lot of HEA-type endings. I’m very partial to the Epilogue in “Glass” though.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Very rarely, and only when I’m in a very silly mood to match. I think the only one I’ve posted is “Asami Sato and the Goblet of Fire,” which is a little one-shot imagining Asami as a muggle exchange student and Iroh as one of the Durmstrang competitors during Book 4. Asami is a Slytherin, by the way, and all y’all who put her in Ravenclaw are missing a trick. I consider this one of my most under-appreciated stories.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not often, but yes. 100% of it is from Korrasami shippers calling me homophobic for shipping a canonically bi female character with a male. I used to try to respond and ask for constructive feedback on how I could make Asami feel more bi in my stories, but I’ve never gotten any, so now I delete comments like that and then feel like shit for a week before moving on.

10) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Not well. And not… hard, I guess? All of my Irosami smut is of the sweet and rather giggly kind between two people who obviously love each other, and that one Kuviroh fic is just Iroh being drunk and awkward. Fluffy smut. Flut?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I’d honestly be a little flattered? Also pissed, but really the idea that anyone cares enough about my writing to steal it is absurd.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’m currently co-writing “Harmonic Convergence” with @ideklolwat, and @the-hopefulpenguin and I started something together that’s on a little hiatus as we both got busy with other projects. It’s a learning experience for me for sure.

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL FINISH EVERY FIC IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO

16) What are your writing strengths?

I’m not entirely sure. I used to think it was writing emotions but the more I read of other people’s work the more I doubt that assessment. Maybe something like fleshing out main characters? I’ve been told a few times that my Asami and especially my Iroh are better than canon. But I’m not as good with side characters.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh god, probably everything, but the thing that’s bothering me at the moment is trying to insert descriptions and movement into dialog. I can’t figure out how to say what is going on without breaking the conversation flow. I’m also shit at world building in the sense that I mostly make things up. I am awed by writers who do a ton of research and bring those elements into their stories. Most of what I have feels kind of modern AU even when it isn't.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I rarely have cause for this. It seems like everyone in the Avatar world speaks the same language. But I’ve had some fun throwing in allusions to other languages, such as creating a bit of a dialect for Southwest Earth Kingdom that mostly manifests in the pronunciation of names, or having someone study “old Omashan,” or having there be a song in another language and Iroh’s like “I have no idea what it means, I just thought it was pretty.”

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Legend of Korra. I’m relatively new to fan fiction.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I don’t pick favorites. I love them all in different ways.

Tagging @chiefbeifongcanrailme, @alishatheninth @ohmygodtheywereparabatai and anyone else who wants in

[snelbz]

Reckoning and Retribution {3}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, House of Earth and Blood, & Throne of Glass Crossover, Western AU fanfiction.

Based on a prompt sent in for the 4k follower contest {winner}, from Anonymous: “Ok hear me out: WILD WEST AU CROSSOVER”

@snelbz​ / @tacmc

It was Saturday morning, which meant that the market was set up in town, every local farmer and gardener, and even some from other towns and territories, out to sell their goods. Elide loved Saturdays, loved deciding what she would be baking that week. She loved to bake, her mother used to bake, and she used to help in whatever way she could before her mother’s untimely death. 

“You should bake banana bread,” Aelin crooned, looping her arm through Elide’s. “You make the most wonderful banana bread.” 

“I do make wonderful banana bread,” Elide agreed, with a grin. 

At the end of the market, up by Hunt’s saloon, Lorcan Salvaterre was leaning up against a post, the brim of his hat pulled down over his eyes, smoking a cigar.

Elide couldn’t shake the feeling that he was watching her, that he had been since their abrupt meeting earlier in the week. His gaze didn’t unsettle her like it should have though. She often found herself meeting those dark eyes, and just when she thought he may approach her, something would steal one of their attention or he’d glance away.

“What a waste of a second chance.”

Elide glanced up at her oldest friend. She followed her line of sight and found that they were looking at the same man. “Why would you say that?”

“He’s awfully cocky,” Aelin said, with pure disdain. “And horribly rude.”

Elide had to admit that he wasn’t exactly welcoming during their encounter, but he didn’t seem that horrible. 

Aelin lifted a brow. “Judging by your silence, I’m assuming you disapprove of my judgement.”

“It’s not that I disapprove,” she said, slowly. “I’m just...intrigued by him.”

“Intrigued…” Aelin mused, letting the word hang between them. “I wasn’t even aware you two had made an acquaintance.”

“I wouldn’t even say we’re acquaintances,” she muttered, stepping away from Aelin to inspect a stand full of exotic fruits. “We’ve only spoken once.”

“And when was that?”

The question wasn’t accusatory, but there was indeed an edge to Aelin’s voice that hadn’t been there before.

Elide sighed and turned around to look at her friend. She was off duty today, so she was dressed as Elide was used to seeing her: full, ruffled skirts, corset cinched tight at the waist and her hair was curled and pinned back off her face, which was elegantly accented by the cosmetics she used every day. She looked like a lady waiting for a ball, not the local deputy of a small town.

“A couple days after you started working with Sheriff Whitethorn,” Elide said, moving on to the next stall. Knives and blades and weapons and bullets and all manners of destruction and death were laid out before her. She made to move on, but they’d caught Aelin’s eye and she moved in.

“When you were dropping off my gift basket, I assume,” she asked, picking up a small, wicked looking dagger. Elide nodded, knowing Aelin had worked out the rest.

She’d ranted to her for an hour the other night after she’d come in and found his muddy boots propped up on her desk. Half the goodies in the basket were gone, too, though Rowan had admitted to eating quite a few of them.

“Mm.” Aelin said nothing else as she examined the dagger, it’s intricate filigree handle shining in the morning light, and found a suitable thigh holster for it. She paid the stall owner an egregious amount of money and turned to Elide. “I feel like you’re going to disregard everything I say and are going to attempt to befriend that surly brute of a man, so I would like you to be prepared, just in case.”

Elide blinked as Aelin pushed the small dagger and leather holster into her hand. “I can’t use this.”

“I’d prefer you not have to,” Aelin sighed, “but I’d rather you be safe than sorry.”

Elide hesitated, but Aelin was already walking away. After hurrying to catch up and match her pace, Elide was saying, “You know that I have never used a weapon, not once.” 

“Perhaps I should give you a lesson?” Aelin asked, something new already catching her eye.

Elide sighed as she, once again, had to hurry after her oldest friend. 

“I won’t even have to use it, Aelin,” Elide protested, looping her arm through Aelin’s to slow her down. “And I am not going to...befriend him.”

Aelin snorted. “You forget how well I know you, Miss Lochan.”

“Oh, trust me, Miss Galathynius, I am fully aware,” Elide said. “You know me as well as I know you, which is why I believe you’re being over dramatic about Mr. Salvaterre.”

A blonde eyebrow raised. “Mister, hmm?”

“Drop it, Aelin,” Elide said, picking up a new bundle of chalk sticks for her classroom. The pieces the children were having to use we’re becoming so short, their writing was becoming near illegible. Well, more illegible, in the case of her younger students. She snagged a bottle of ink as well and before she could reach for her money pouch, Aelin had paid the man. She didn’t bother thanking her friend, knowing she’d wave the praise off anyways. “There’s nothing going on between Lorcan Salvaterre and I.”

“Well that’s a damn shame.”

Aelin and elide turned, finding the man himself standing behind them.

“Miss Lochan,” he drawled, tipping his hat. “Deputy.”

“Mister Salvaterre, good morning,” Elide gave him a friendly curtsy and continued on her way, pausing at a stall that sold little trinkets and jewelry.

Once she was out of earshot, Aelin turned to Lorcan. “Don’t even think about touching her.”

His gaze was amused. “And what made you think I would, Deputy?” 

The way he said Deputy made Aelin want to punch him in the throat.

“She’s a kind woman,” Aelin went on. “You will not do anything to cause her harm or ruin.”

Lorcan grinned, wild and vicious. “You make it sound like she fancies me. Has she taken a liking to me, Deputy Galathynius?”

The fact that he used her title as a form of mockery had her hands curling into fists at her sides.

“Aelin, are you coming?”

The pair turned to where Elide waited a few stalls ahead. She called, “Give me just a moment.”

Elide nodded and continued sorting through the fabrics the seller offered.

Turning back to glare at Lorcan, Aelin breathed. “I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. If it weren’t for my promise to protect this town and all who live in it — including you, apparently — I’d put a bullet between your eyes and wouldn’t lose a wink of sleep over it. Rowan tearing up the warrant for your arrest was the most reckless thing he’s ever done. Now, don’t make me repeat this, ” She was a solid foot shorter than him, but as she said the words, Lorcan felt as if he was being talked down to. Like a child. “Leave. Her. Alone.”

His eyes turned dark, hard, as his jaw locked. “Fine, if it means that much to you.”

“It does,” Aelin snapped, picking up her skirts as she stormed to Elide’s side, leaving Lorcan behind.

Elide blinked as Aelin approached, frowning. “Is everything alright? What’s happened?”

“Nothing,” Aelin said, forcing a bright smile. “Let us continue on with our morning.”

Sighing and linking her arm with Aelin’s once more, Elide did just that. After they’d shopped for a few more minutes and Elide had decided she had enough supplies for the week, they were making for her cabin at the far end of town. It was a bit of a walk, but the ladies didn’t care, not wanting to saddle horses. It was such a hassle, and now that she was used to trousers, Aelin just didn’t want to mess with it.

“So,” Aelin began as they walked up the steps of Elide’s little house. “Aside from the fabulous banana bread you’ll be making me, what other goodies will you be baking this week?”

Elide listed off a menagerie of delicious desserts and baked goods. “A peach cobbler, oatmeal and cranberry cookies, blueberry crumble, a couple pies, and a chocolate and stone ground oat cake.”

Aelin’s eyes were wide. “Such a wide variety. What for?”

The tips of Elide’s ears turned red and Aelin certainly noticed as she began to blush. “Mister Salvaterre’s welcome basket.”

Aelin froze as she followed her friend into her house.

Oh, this was not good.

* * * * * * * * *

Bryce loved the silence.

Lying on her bed, she opened the new novel Hunt had given her the day before.

A gift, he had said, and wouldn’t take no for an answer when she had told him that she couldn’t accept. 

She was grateful for it.

It had been so long since she had been given a gift, had owned something new. She couldn’t wait to lose herself in the story, if even for a few moments, to get out of the living hell she was in.

A quiet knock sounded on her door. She tightened the sash of the dressing gown she wore around her waist. “Just a minute,” she called.

She made herself appropriate before opening the door, finding Hunt on the other side.

“Hunt-.”

Her quiet words were cut off as he crashed his lips against hers and softly shut the door behind him. When he finally pulled back, Bryce was breathless.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Come on, grab your things,” he said, looking around the room for a bag. The room was lavish and luxurious and the furnishings probably cost more than Hunt’s entire saloon, deed, ale, whiskey and all. “Maeve just left. Feyre is watching the bar. Let’s go.”

Bryce hesitated. “Go? Go where?”

Hunt took her face into his large, calloused hands. The look in his eyes was wild, determined. “It’s our chance. Now is our chance.”

Bryce closed her eyes. “Hunt-.”

“Please,” he breathed, his breath hot against her mouth. “Please, Bryce-.”

“I can’t go anywhere,” she whispered, forcing her eyes not to well up with tears. “You know I can’t go anywhere.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she pressed on. “Cairn will find us, you know that. What happened to Clare, to Isaac… I won’t let that happen to you.”

Hung closed his eyes, letting his forehead fall against hers. He knew she was right, knew if they had any hope of getting out of this town alive, it would cost them an egregious amount of money.

Otherwise, they’d be paying with their lives.

Clare Beddor and Isaac Hale were proof of that. After they ran away in the dead of night, Clare’s debt unpaid, it only took two weeks for Cairn to bring back her lifeless body and his decapitated head. His mouth hung open in a wide, never ending scream. It was tossed into an unmarked grave somewhere on the property, but Clare…

Maeve had made a few extra bucks off of her, thanks to the few sick fucks who lived in this town.

This was her life, and there was no getting out of it, no matter how many sleepless nights she spent wondering how she could get out of her debt.

But there was no way.

It was hopeless to dream.

“Bryce,” Hunt whispered, bringing her back to reality.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and she meant it, even though it meant nothing. “You need to let this go, Hunt. I’m a lost cause.”

“Don’t say that,” he begged, just as he always did.

Every time he did it broke her heart.

“I’m making an offer to Maeve on Monday.”

Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. “What?”

He wrapped her up in his arms. She rested her head against his chest, listened to the heart beating inside. The heart that belonged to her, in every way. “I’ve saved up enough for your freedom, with some extra. With what you’ve…earned… We have to be close, Bryce.”

She heard the words he specified. Your freedom. But not Danika’s.

“It’ll be a few more years, Hunt-.”

“No, damn it, I refuse to believe that.” He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. He whispered, “I wish you never would have made that bargain.”

She shook her head. There was no dwelling on it now. What’s done is done, and besides… “I don’t. Not if it kept her safe.”

Copying her motion, Hunt shook his head, his loose hair shaking with the motion. “For two weeks, Bryce?”

The sob that tore from Bryce was heartbreaking.

When she was eight years old, her father had ripped she and Ruhn from their beds, with no explanation, and they’d left the small town they called home. Years later, they’d realize it was because he’d killed Bryce’s mother in a fit of rage. If only that was the worst thing their piece of shit father had done.

Just a few years later, the family, with their young ward, Danika Fendyr, visited Rose Creek on their way west, as far west as they could go. Their father had gotten drunk beyond measure, the former owner of the saloon supplying as much whiskey as any one man could consume. He’d run out of money during his poker game, and needed a few new bargaining chips. He had three.

Bryce and Danika were sold to Maeve, while Ruhn was shipped off to the mines.

The girls were only sixteen when they were to begin selling their bodies, their souls, on behalf of Bryce’s father’s debt. Bryce’s birthday came first, Danika’s just a month later. A week before Danika’s unveiling, Bryce made Maeve a deal. 

Her life for Danika’s. Double the price, double the debt, Bryce promised Maeve double everything, if only she said yes.

Maeve agreed.

Danika went free.

She protested, told Bryce she was an idiot as she wept and wrapped her arms around Bryce. Bryce told her best friend, her sister, to go free, to make something of herself.

She deserved as much.

Less than two weeks later, just days after Danika turned sixteen, she was killed by a bandit, a robbery gone bad, making the sacrifice Bryce made worthless. 

She had doubled her debt for two weeks of Danika’s freedom, and she had been paying off that debt ever since. 

“I don’t care the price, I don’t care how long it takes,” he promised. “One day, you and I are going to leave this town, and we’re never going to look back.”

“Hunt!”

The cry from downstairs was a warning, their time was short.

“Go,” Bryce breathed, her tears at last running down her face. “You can’t be up here when she gets back.”

He knew that, knew that he wouldn’t be the one to bear the punishment if they were to get caught. He nodded, pressing another kiss to her forehead, then her lips, letting it say all the words he couldn’t out loud. 

I’m sorry.

I’ll get you out.

I love you.

* * * * * * * *

Exhaustion dwelled in every inch of Ruhn’s body as he followed Aedion, Declan, and Flynn into the saloon. That exhaustion did not stop him, though, he had things to do, those to protect, even if he could only do it from afar.

Anything else would get him shot. 

Or hanged. 

All they had to do was raise their hands in greeting to Hunt before plopping down around a table. A minute later, Feyre came carrying a jug of ale and four mugs. 

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Feyre crooned, setting it all in the middle of the table.

“I don’t see any gentlemen here,” Flynn muttered with a smirk. 

“True,” Feyre agreed, “but any other sort of greeting just seemed rude.”

Aedion’s attention was immediately on the striking brunette across the room. She was primped and preened and the smile on her face showed everyone how much fun she was having at the saloon, being passed from lap to lap.

That smile was the biggest crock of shit Ruhn had ever seen. It was the same smile he saw on Bryce’s face and Nesta’s and all the other girls who had to lay on their backs just to keep their families fed or protected.

Promising to come back if they needed anything, Feyre flitted off, refilling the glasses of whiskey the sheriff and his newest deputy had sitting on their table. The man in black intrigued Ruhn, but he wasn’t one to start a conversation and make new friends. Especially with a man he was sure had killed people.

It was slow, for a Saturday night, if Lysandra was down on the floor of the saloon. Either that or she was a walking billboard for the services Maeve offered. Since he didn’t see his sister, Ruhn was inclined to believe the latter.

So instead he kept an eye on Feyre, tracking her as she moved from table to table, carefully watching every hand that came close to her.

It seemed that Feyre was fairly good at taking care of herself, and Hunt watched her like a hawk, but still, as he watched Feyre flutter around the floor, watching every man she passed watch after her with a hungry gaze, Ruhn felt the need to look after her, too. 

It was difficult enough having to watch the women passed around who weren’t allowed to say no, but he couldn’t bear to watch those who were allowed to say no be taken advantage of simply because they were a woman in a saloon full of drunk bastards.

Flynn and Declan had ended up at the bar and Aedion had snuck into the dry storage room, leaving Ruhn to mull over his day, life and purpose with nothing but a mug of ale to keep him company. When he realized he’d been tracing the same knot in the wood for an entire song in the old, barely-in-tune piano, he looked up, his eyes darting around the room.

No sign of Bryce, but he’d learned to not to hold out hope for easy nights for her long ago.

But when his eyes made another pass, searching for not for wine-red hair, but golden-brown… He came up short.

For a moment, he debated on joining his friends at the bar, if for no other reason than a new vantage point to watch the room. That thought drifted away as he heard a voice, full of sass, from behind him.

“Are you watching me, Mister Danaan?”

He spun around in his chair to find Feyre, one hand on her hip, the other holding up a tin pitcher. 

“I was just...scanning the room, Miss Archeron,” he said, simply.

She narrowed her eyes and suppressed her grin. “I believe you’re telling a lie.” 

Ruhn huffed a laugh, unable to help himself as Feyre sat down across from him at the empty table. “I was just ensuring your safety after what had happened the other night.” 

“That’s very kind of you,” Feyre said, eyes bright. “You are appreciated, you must know.” 

He tipped his head in thanks. “How has your day been?”

“Long,” she admitted. “I suppose I cannot complain, though. And yours, Mister Danaan?” 

He thought of the hacking he’d done with his pickaxe, hour after hour after hour all day, before he said, “Mine was long, as well.” 

Unlike his sister, Ruhn wasn’t forced into the servitude he was sold into. Gavriel, the man who owned and operated out of the mines, was a fair and just man. He saw the situation the children were in, saw that he had the opportunity to help at least one of them. So when Ruhn’s life was offered to him, as payment for a life debt, he said yes, took the young man in.

And then told him he was free to do as he wished. Free to go, to stay, to work, to run.

But with Bryce in proverbial shackles, that wasn’t an option. So he took a job in the mines, made a modest living and did what he could for his sister.

The sadness in Feyre’s eyes told him she understood well.

“Miss Archeron, may-.”

“Feyre, please,” she interrupted. “Call me Feyre.”

He smiled. “Miss Feyre, with your permission, I’d like to walk you home tonight.”

Her eyebrows rose, her blue-grey eyes bright in the candles hanging from the chandelier. “I don’t get off work until late, well past midnight.”

Shaking his head, Ruhn said, “I don’t mind.”

Feyre nodded, slowly, perfectly amused. “Very well, Mister Danaan, you may walk me home.” 

She pushed herself up from the table and was beginning to walk away when Ruhn called, “Miss Feyre?”

She turned to face him, yet again, a small smile on her lips. “Yes?”

“If I can call you by your first name, then you may call me by mine,” he said, then added, “Please.” 

“Very well,” she said, softly, and then she was off to make her rounds, yet again.

* * * * * * * *

Saturdays were Nesta’s least favorite day. 

The crowds were bigger. The room was louder. The men were worse.

As Nesta hurried toward the saloon, she couldn’t help but wonder what sort of torture Maeve would have planned for her to punish her for being late the night before. Again.

She hurried into the saloon, squeezing Feyre’s hand as she passed, her sister giving her what little strength she could, and started up the stairs.

“Nesta Archeron.”

She paused, and turned, finding Maeve standing at the bottom of the staircase. “I’m not late tonight, ma’am.”

A wicked smirk. “No, you’re not.”

Nesta swallowed hard and made her way back down the stairs.

“Get ready and be back down here within twenty minutes. You have a special request tonight.”

A special request. It sent chills up Nesta’s spine.

And not in a good way.

Nonetheless, she did what she was told. After hurrying up to her room, she took her place in front of the vanity and took down her hair, the curls long and loose as they hung around her shoulders. She lined her eyes with kohl, painted her lips to a ruby red, and pinched her cheeks until they were nice and red. She looked at herself, admired herself in the mirror as she did every night before she changed. 

Her reflection haunted her. 

She was staring at the ghost of the girl she once was, the girl she once knew, before. 

After pinning her hair back so that it was out of her eyes, she shrugged off her robe and dressed. Corset, skirts, stockings beneath that reached her mid-thighs.

Lacing her boots up, she steeled herself, praying it wouldn’t be one of the sick men who enjoyed pain. Nesta hated the pain.

She walked down the stairs, Maeve still waiting in the same spot as before. Eyes turned to look at her as she descended into the saloon, as they always did. People always stared when the whores entered the room.

She glanced around, trying not to make it obvious, as she caught the eyes of those in the bar. The usuals were there, of course, Hunt and Feyre and Luca, picking up dirty dishes. But Azriel Draeven was there, too, along with the mayor. And at their table, eyes trained on her, a glass of whiskey in his hand, was Cassian. Their eyes locked and her feet almost froze on the stairs, but she forced them to keep moving.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Maeve inspected her with an experienced eye. Without a word, she nodded, clearly pleased with Nesta’s appearance. She held out an envelope. “Do not open this envelope until you’ve reached the general store. You’ll find further instructions inside. You’ve been booked until sunrise. Go get your coat.”

Nesta didn’t say a word as she took the envelope and went back up to grab her coat. It was all she grabbed, her coat, not wanting to bring the rest of her belongings in case things turned ugly. She would have Feyre to grab them before she left. She wouldn’t mind.

She never did.

With her coat over her shoulders, she descended the stairs, once more, not bothering to look at anyone else except for her sister behind the bar.

Feyre could see the question in her eyes. She nodded, once, and Nesta ignored the sorrow in her youngest sister’s eyes as she exited the saloon, envelope in hand, and went down to the general store.

It wasn’t late by any means, but the dusty main road in and out of town was deserted. Those with families were home, having dinner, spending time with their loved ones. Those that didn’t… well, the saloon would be open for quite a while yet. The envelope in her hand felt heavy, though she knew that was just in her mind. It held nothing but a note, written in Maeve’s formal penmanship, like it always did. This wasn’t the first special request she’d fulfilled and she knew it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last.

With a sigh, she opened the envelope and a letter in an unfamiliar hand fell onto her lap. She read through it once, blinking, and paused. She was misunderstanding. She had to be. Nesta quietly read the letter allowed, making sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.

“Return to your home, lock your doors, and go to bed,” she murmured. “Tell no one, keep this a secret from all but your sisters. Get some rest, beautiful.”

The letter still clutched in her hand, Nesta looked around the deserted street. There was no one around, no one secretly watching her, waiting to catch her making a mistake.

Nesta had never run home so fast in her life.

* * * * * * * *

Lysandra had slipped into the dry storage of the saloon while Cairn wasn’t looking. She just needed a second to breathe, to sit without being hounded.

The door cracked open a minute later and Aedion appeared. “Are you okay?”

She breathed a relieved sigh as she nodded her head. She wasn’t sure if she could speak. If she spoke, she may start crying. Maeve would get far too much enjoyment from her tears.

He understood though, he understood how it took a toll on her. Wordlessly, she stood, making her way over to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Aedion didn’t hesitate to wrap his own around her and kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he breathed.

She shook her head and Aedion knew it’s because there was nothing either of them could do.

For a moment, that’s all there was in the world, just the two of them and the silence. She loved that silence, loved when he held her and she could take a few minutes to breathe.

Even if it was never long enough.

Which it never was.

“You should go back out there,” she whispered.

“Or I can give you some coin,” he replied, quietly.

Not for sex, she knew, but so she could have ten extra minutes of breathing time.

Lysandra shook her head. “It would be a waste of coin, and you know it.”

Neither of them made to move though. Aedion’s hand wove into her hair, holding her head to his chest as she breathed him in, as she rooted herself in this moment, to use it as her anchor for the rest of the night.

Stolen kisses and secret meetings are all they had. Aedion would gladly pay for a night with her, for every night with her if he could. He loved Lysandra more than a man had ever loved a woman, or so he firmly believed. And she had given him her whole heart, since they could never have anything more.

She was Maeve’s favorite whore. There were no prices for a night with Lysandra, not unless someone was willing to shell out a wagon full of coins. No, she was Maeve’s personal gift to give out.

To the most worthy of companions.

Maeve’s most worthy clients. 

“I have to go,” she whispered.

Aedion nodded, knowing the time was coming. The time always came, no matter how many nights Aedion spent praying it wouldn’t.

He wanted so desperately to tell her that he loved her, but he wouldn’t. No matter how much he felt it, he’d keep it to himself, because to say it would be too hard.

He would say it and nothing would change. 

“I’ll be there,” he decided on, after a few seconds passed. He would be there, in the saloon, in case she needed him to look at, to make eye contact with, when she was feeling completely and utterly alone.

She nodded, before taking one last deep breath, breathing him in. And then she was out of his arms, out the door and back into the front room, into her own personal hell.

Because when she saw who was sitting in Maeve’s booth, she thought she was going to be sick. It had been years since she’d seen him. When Maeve crooked a finger over and called for her, those silver eyes met hers and Arrobyn Hammel smiled.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Circe Invidiosa

Circe Invidiosa has 11 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files stories at her website. Some of my favs I’ve recced here before, like Make It Worse and Slap a Goatee On Me and Call Me Evil. She also made a bunch of X-Files collage art, including some cover art for fics (hers and others), which you probably saw if you were reading fic back when authors posted fics on their own websites where art could be shared. Big thanks to Circe Invidiosa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Well, it would surprise me if people did read my fic. As it happens, I don't hear much feedback from my fic these days. Probably because the bulk of it is on Gossamer and my own site rather than AO3. Also, I was never a BNA. I worked a lot behind the scenes – hosting other authors' sites and making fanart and dustjackets. I think that's what I'd be remembered for, if anything.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience?

I miss the collective excitement and discussions we had as groups. When you got in with a group in the XF fandom, you felt like you knew everybody there. Now the fandom feels a little faceless except for the people I still follow from my old groups.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Most of my experience was on Yahoo Groups. I joined Scullyfic while it was still there and then E-muse when it became an e-mail list, which I'm still a part of. I was part of several Yahoo Groups (can't remember all of them now), where I'd post my fic, RealPlayer slideshows (remember those?!), and collages. I never really took part in discourse because I'm shy and don't think anyone cares about my opinions (still don't!). The e-mail address I used for those groups was purged a couple of years ago, so I've lost all those messages.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

My take away is that fanfic made me a better writer, thanks to having some great betas, and it made me a better professional writer for it (my real-life work is writing but not fun writing) because I learned to take criticism.

I also used to make a lot of fanart, collages and dustjackets for fic mostly. My big take away from that was that I really got into graphics and I got super proficient at Photoshop, which helped my own artistic endeavours and photography. I didn't realize how much skill I had developed until I've had to help someone with their graphics or photo editing.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

My mother was watching X-Files before I was and she was raving about it. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but one thing she was usually right about was TV shows. It's where I got my love of Sci-Fi.

I think the first episode I watched was Ice, which definitely hooked me. As for when the shipping started, I remember we were watching Lazarus, and when Mulder was yelling at Lula (I had to look that up) about hurting the hostage Scully, my mom said, "Oh, he's so in love with her." And I was all, "What?! Pfff." But then I could not stop thinking about it. And then I thought about it way, way too much.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I was in my late 20s, and it was around the end of S7 and I kept thinking about what if these two dumb idiots actually talked one day. And I kept thinking about dialogue in my head about what they'd actually say. The internet was still in its infancy back then, but I'd seen fan sites here and there. So I decided to search around to see if other people were talking about it and thinking about it like I was. I was such a noob I'd never even heard of fanfic. Imagine my delight when I discovered it. I found a few stories and thought, 'Well, I can do that.' And I wrote up my first story, found a place to post it (wasn't Ephemeral the best?), got some kind feedback, found a really nice person (not sure she wants to be named since she used her real name in the fandom back in the day) who encouraged me a lot and directed me to all the e-mail lists and Yahoo Groups that I needed to be on, and then, Bob's your uncle, I wrote more and more.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Periphery. Most of my experience in any fandom is now on Tumblr because that's where my attention span is. Show me pretty pictures and funny stuff. I am old now and don't want to think hard.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Veronica Mars was my next fandom experience. A number of my XF friends got me hooked on VM. The VM fandom was a LOT younger compared to the XF fandom. When I joined the XF fandom, I was the kid compared to most of the other fans who were all goddesses and royalty in my eyes. But in the VM fandom, I was in my 30s and the rest of the fandom were all in their early 20s if not younger. It often showed, so I stayed out of discussions and just posted my fic once I started writing it. I took a new handle (invida) when I started writing VM fic. Just in case these kids felt like my writing sucked, I didn't want it getting back to the XF fandom that I’d branched out and failed spectacularly.

By then fandom experiences had moved over to LiveJournal. I never really got involved in the discourse or the fandom fights. I knew what people were saying and where the schisms were, but I was all about the fanfic and the pretty pictures. Most of my LJ friends just discussed the episodes and posted their fic and that was good with me.

What got me writing fic for VM was Anjou's brilliant VM fic Into the Blue. Seriously, if you love VM S1, read her fic. Just so beautiful.

VM was also where started writing a WIP, which was a wild trip. I wrote a much-loved WIP called Damn, Damn the Circumstance which people still ask me about finishing to this day. Someday…*wistful sighs*

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Scully. She was everything! Lapsed Catholic, degrees in science, skeptic, always trying to work within the rules but still not taking crap. Yeah, she was the best.

Veronica Mars was great until she wasn't. I have a lot of issues with her beyond S2. And don't even talk to me about S4. For me, S1 was the best, I enjoyed the movie, the books were okay, but nothing else happened after that. NOTHING.

And the first character I ever loved was Princess Leia. She was also everything to me growing up. I wanted to be her. I still do.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Now and then. Not as much as I used to. I sometimes have it on in the background when I'm doing other things. Back before the pandemic, my BFF and I would have get togethers where we would play Scrabble, eat a lot of candy, and binge several XF episodes. I miss doing that. Hopefully, we will get back to that soon.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I am not an active XF fanfic reader right now. I will read any stories my friends put out. Otherwise, I only occasionally read some I come across on Tumblr in my feed, but I am not seeking them out. I will beta for any XF author who asks me as well.

I am reading fic in other fandoms though – Endeavour, Broadchurch, Sherlock…huh, I'm just realizing that's a lot of British stuff. I have been really into British detective series for the last few years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I used to run an XF fic recommendation site called How Will It End usually with at least one other person (I went through at least 4 partners on that project because I'm a control freak). We'd compile our recs and then I'd post them on my site. We'd also feature authors we really liked and interview them. Not unlike these interviews!

I'm terrible at giving feedback/comments. So I solved that problem by making a rec site. That way I could tell authors I loved their fics by recommending them. I didn't have to comment, I'd just say, 'I'd like to rec your fic'. And then they'd get promotion. Win-win. Back in those days, the fandom would absolutely roast you for promoting your own fic, so to get on a rec site was a big deal. Not that I had a popular rec site or anything. But I think authors really enjoyed being asked.

All that to say I've liked a lot of fics. I can pull up the archives of HWIE and show you all the faves I liked. :)

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Back in the day, E-muse would hold Improv Challenges, where other members would give you a prompt that you had to include in your fic. I was always really proud of the stories I created from those challenges (No Earthly Means and Elephant in the Room if you want to read them).

I enjoyed writing Dead to Rights which is an XF/Dead Like Me crossover because I loved the challenge of writing a crossover. It was the first crossover I ever tried writing even though I only recently published it.

Otherwise, I like re-reading In a Graveyard, Importuning Life for Life, and Some By Virtue Fall. Of my more recent fic, I like Slap a Goatee on Me and Call Me Evil because the premise was ridiculous and I think it's funny as all get out.

Probably my favourite of my VM fic was Stay Outta Riverdale. Because: 1. The title is a Simpsons reference who doesn't love a Simpsons reference? And 2. I think I was hilarious throughout it.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I'm always open to writing more fic (and, of course, I don't mean my WIPs…don't look at me like that). Lately, my only motivation has been from writing prompts on Tumblr. I haven't had anyone give me a prompt in over a year, so here we are. I have snippets of dialogue in journals and word documents that have never found their way into stories. I'd be happy to dust off any of those and shoehorn them into a new story.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

The last fanfic I wrote was a mini-fic over a year ago (with a prompt from Lilydale!). I've written a bit of original fiction but I haven't been able to finish it. Otherwise, I do have a number of real life hobbies which are where my creative outlets lie now.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Lately, challenges and prompts. It used to be from wanting to see more from a scene. I really had a thing for fill-in-the-blanks or scene continuations. And sometimes my motivation is just plain old spite. :)

What's the story behind your pen name?

Circe Invidiosa is the title of a painting by John William Waterhouse. Love the colours and the absolute malice on the face of the subject. It felt like a good pen name – the envious witch. That's me!

I chose it when I posted my first XF fic (which I cringe to read now, ugh so terrible) without knowing there was already a Circe in the fandom. Whoops. I tried to go by the full Circe Invidiosa or Invidiosa as much as possible after realizing that (invidiosa is my url and my username on a lot of sites, etc.). Now I think that I've been around long enough that it doesn't matter as much but I still like it.

As I said, I took the name Invida for the VM fandom which is just a shortening of Invidiosa.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My significant other knows and that was quite a reveal (oh how awkward). However, the SO has been very supportive and has read all my stories since the reveal and sometimes betas them. The SO also wants us to collaborate on writing some original fiction but we haven't found a project that works for both of us creatively or timewise.

My BFF knows because I dragged her into the online fandom. We've known each other since we were 14, but our love of XF really solidified our bond in our 20s. She wrote some short but sweet fics under the penname Helen Quilley which I bullied her into posting, and we wrote Of Ladies Most Deject and Wretched together. She is mostly embarrassed that she wrote fanfic now but we still fangirl together.

No one else really knows other than fandom folks I've met in real life. And some friends know I've written 'short stories' but I don't elaborate. I work in a stodgy, uptight industry where anything fun or actually having a life is frowned upon.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Over the first lockdown, I got my shit together and got my fic site, invidiosa.com, up and running again. My site houses fic by Rain (now @doctorhelena on Tumblr and AO3), Helen Quilley, ML (who I miss so much), Folieadeux, Shelba, TLynn, Oracle, Piper Sargasso, Diehard, and me. And I made all their dustjackets (except Folie's). The site got hacked a few years back and it was so much work to get running again that I put it off for years and years. I still feel terrible that I did not get the site back up before ML passed away, especially when ML had asked me about it a few months before she passed.

Anyway, all my XF fic is here: circe.invidiosa.com. I have 3 of my newer XF stories on AO3. And my fic-LJ also has some of my stories. Some of the newer stories are on Tumblr but the tagging is so erratic that I'd have to list several tags before you'd find them all. I don't know why I haven't moved everything over to AO3. Probably laziness.

I'm @invidiosa on Tumblr. I'm still on E-muse. I'm still on LJ. I'm always reachable by e-mail (invidiosa at gmail).

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, writing, and commenting. It is always appreciated.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 5, 2021)

[depizan]

100 Days of Writing

@the-wip-project‘s 100 days of writing

Day Eighty: How do you feel about your old works? And bonus homework: say something nice about past-writer-you.

How old? My first SWTOR fanfic? My published short story? The space adventure novel I worked on for years? The fanfic I didn’t know was fanfic that I wrote in high school? The many, many beginnings of fantasy stories I wrote? The fragments of kids mysteries I wrote before that? The cartoon stories I did as an even younger child?

I don’t actually remember what the cartoon stories were about. Pretty sure there was a cast of characters, though, so I’m going to guess friendship was part of it. I know friendship was part of everything I do remember.

In some ways, my writing hasn’t changed at all. Oh, sure, I’ve gained skill and more of a sense of how stories work. The first stories I wrote were mostly the dialogue for scenes I couldn’t yet figure out how to put on paper. (But somehow I wanted that, rather than to continue drawing things. I don’t remember what made that change. Not that I gave up drawing, it just took a backseat to writing at some point in my childhood.) But the heart of what I write stayed the same through all of it: I tell stories, mostly adventure stories, about friends.

My childhood writings are interesting because I can track my development as a writer and as a storyteller through them. The kids mystery ideas were very based on the kids mysteries I read, Stratemeyer Syndicate and otherwise, I hadn’t quite worked out what I wanted stories to be, so they were just scenes: kids find abandoned house, kids pour over microfilmed newspapers at the library, kids find mysterious [whatever].

Oddly, I think my first finished works were some short ghost or maybe ghost stories when I was eleven or twelve. They were self contained and just enough more than a scene to properly be a story.

But somehow, once I’d worked out the whole “plot” thing, I was on to trying to write fantasy. Junior high aged kids getting sucked into fantasy worlds, mostly. (It’s very easy to tell what age I was when I wrote things, at least up to that point, because the characters were my age. Whatever that happened to be.) At this point, I started developing more complicated characters, almost by accident. The, er, Whoops, Fantasy World stories have pretty straightforward characters - kids from Earth, some sort of mentor type, villains, random citizens of the world in need of saving... Until the time I fleshed out a villain’s henchman who was supposed to be capturing the heroes, and discovered I had a thing for Trapped In Villainy characters.

Then I discovered Star Wars and 80′s television and started trying to write my own space adventure novel... when I wasn’t writing a Star Wars-Disney Afternoon crossover when bored in class. (I somehow managed to write fanfic before I knew fanfic was a thing.)

I struggled with the whole space adventure thing for something like ten years, partly because I was torn between a more cynical world of adventure future (in an early version, the main government faked a war for the usual money and power reasons, but that got dark quick) and a more shiny better future world (the main characters are only on the run because of misunderstandings, everything can be fixed with a little sensible explanation of things!) Also, it’s space adventure. Every single creative writing class I took or group I was a part of tried to get me to write something else. Either something better or something set in “reality” because, really, its not like I was writing actual science fiction. What’s the point of starships and aliens and different worlds and such if you’re just telling adventure stories?

So I wrote a detective short story, which I got published... in the fall of 2001.

It was ten years before I started writing again. This time with no desire to be a “real” writer - no classes, no groups, no trying to get published. If I remember right, I even sought out the SWTOR fandom before I decided to start posting my own fic. Yeah, I don’t seem to have gotten an AO3 account until 2013.

And here we are. If I wanted to be melodramatic, I could say I’m kind of the writer version of Harry Chapin’s Mr. Tanner. Except I do still “sing” for an audience beyond myself. At least when it’s open mic night in the galaxy far, far away.

[scribeofred]

Thanks to @onereyofstarlight for the tag!

 1. What fandoms have you written for?

This is embarrassing but I actually had to look at both FFnet and AO3 because I couldn’t remember all of them. TRON: Legacy, Assassin’s Creed, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, Sherlock, Final Fantasy VII and XV and Kingsglaive, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Merlin, Skyrim, and, of course, Thunderbirds. I have a couple other fandoms that crop up in various wips, including a Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover that I really should finish.

2. How many works do you have on AO3 &/or FFNet?

FFnet has 45, and AO3 has 41. There’s also a couple stories lurking on tumblr, notably a final chapter for Reflection.

3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or Favs on FFNet?

AO3 dominates in this area, if I can use a word like “dominates” for stories that have less than 125 kudos each haha. Oh well, the numbers don’t matter!

1.     118 kudos on tell the shades apart (my world is black and white)

2.     94 kudos on Reflection

3.     91 kudos on The 43rd Hour

4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & Favs?

Again on AO3:

1 kudos on I Am You (And You Are Me)

5 kudos on The Dragonborn Chronicles

6 kudos on cynosure

5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?

Reflection has the most at 29 threads, and I Am You (And You Are Me) has the least at zero.

6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?

Lodestar, definitely. Sure, it’s for something of a rarepair, but they aren’t that rare, and I just really really like the way the story came together. On the other hand, of course my unfinished Merlin fic has gotten probably the most attention, because that’s just the way it goes, eh?

7. Have you written any crossovers?

None that I’ve published! I have various crossovers lurking in mostly unfinished states, including the aforementioned Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover, and an Assassin’s Creed/Thundeerbirds crossover that is very good and I should also finish. There’s an Expanse/Thunderbirds fic lurking in my brain that I may or may not ever commit to paper, who knows. I’ve also very vaguely toyed with a Batman/Thunderbirds crossover, in the sense that “nebulous” is too strong a word for the kind of toying I’ve been doing.

8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?

I don’t really write crazy or crack or humor in general, so probably the closest thing to “crazy” is On the Lam, which was the result of wanting to throw Scott and Penelope toward an Egyptian stud farm. It ended up being the host for a bad joke about that, courtesy of one @thebaconsandwichofregret, who consistently gives some of the best dialogue advice I’ve ever encountered.

Actually, the true answer is probably a chapter in Glimpses into a Supernova, maybe the one about blood? It seems bonkers when I think back on it now, but I admittedly haven’t read it in many years. Possibly I am misremembering. Glimpses has some weird ones, though.

9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?

It’s a tossup between The Painting and a place where the water touches the sky. The former deals with a prior off-screen death; the latter is (maybe??) an on-screen death. People seemed upset by it, at any rate. I said it was ambiguous!

10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

“Happy” is probably a matter of perspective? Depends on the overall reading experience and the ending within that context. Either septet or Three Towels and a Tracy, they’re both pretty fluffy overall.

11. What is your smuttiest fic?

protoinstincts, which I completely forgot I wrote and then rediscovered like a year later and realized “hey, this is actually pretty good” and you know what, despite it not being overly spicy, it is pretty good.

12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate, per se, but someone left a review on Less Than Nothing saying they “didn’t like” that I “wrote the story as a series of drabbles.” Cool, I didn’t write the story for you, random guest reader, and the back button exists, friend 😂 It didn’t bother me on a personal level because I wrote the fic for an audience of one (incidentally, not myself and rather the recipient of a secret santa event), but I was mad because the reviewer had no way of knowing where I was at as a writer, and I know from longtime observation how that kind of comment can crush less experienced or confident writers.

Don’t leave flames, kids, you don’t understand the power your words have. Don’t like, don’t read.

13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?

The nicest? Goodness. Hmm. I’d have to go hunting to find the nicest, but in recent memory, @ayzrules sent me a couple passages from Spanish texts she’s been studying that reminded her of my writing, and I was honestly so touched by the fact that she even thought to make such comparisons, much less mention them to me. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with someone’s style until you can make comparisons between it and someone else’s work is so much more meaningful to me personally than a basic “Nice story!” or “Loved this!” type of comment ever could be. <3 Ayz <3

14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never gone looking on any sort of copycat site or whatever either.

15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?

Two. First is The Dragonborn Chronicles, which is a retelling of Skyrim from Lydia’s perspective via her journal, to complement the in-game journal. It’s a slog of a style to write, though, even for someone who loves writing first person and doesn’t really want to write a lot of dialogue, and the outline is huge, and the story will be many times more huge, and just. Some day. Some day.

Second is tell the shades apart (my world is black and white), which has always been unfinished because the outline itself is over seven thousand words and the fully written story would undoubtedly land between 100,000 and 200,000 words, and there’s no way I’m writing that. I’ve always meant to upload the outline, but I got kind of self-conscious about the way I formatted it, and ugh I just haven’t bothered. One day, one day, right?

Moral of the story is I’m intensely a short story writer, and I’ve really found myself settling into that role over the last couple years. Better a clipped, punchy short story than a bloated slog of an epic.

16. Which of the WIPS will most likely be finished first?

Literally no one knows that. I wrote 95% of the observable entropy of a closed system over five years ago, and then I proceeded to pull it out roughly once a year and write and rewrite various endings until last month, which was when I finally figured out how I wanted to end the story. septet, too, languished for about five years before I finally remembered it existed and managed to wrangle an ending. Endings are hard, man. So are those third plot points. Terrible creatures, those, bog me down every time.

17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?

Uh... mm. See. If I were looking forward to finishing any of them, I’d be actively working on them. At this moment, writing fic isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities, but I am also coming off a four-day idle game bender, so I still feel like I haven’t quite reengaged with myself as a living person. Give me another few days and I might have an answer.

(I am always most looking forward to finishing this ridiculous Ignis-drives-the-Audi-R8 fic that’s been languishing in my wips for literal years. As mentioned above, third plot points. Killer, man.)

(oh and also the working-titled the art of murder. Scott and Penny attend a private art auction. Things don’t go to plan. It, too, is stuck at the third plot point. I know, I know I have a problem, shush.)

18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?

Any wip has the potential to be revived—this year and the old wips I’ve unearthed, dusted off, finished, and posted have been proof of that. I don’t intentionally permanently abandon anything for that reason, some stories just probably will remain dusty old wips forever because I didn’t actually need or want to write the full story for one reason or another.

19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?

Now that’s an interesting question. Hmm! Honestly? None of them. Once I finish a story, I’m not inclined toward rereading it again any time soon, to the point of years in some cases, and I feel like I’ve moved on from the stories I wrote one, two, five, eight years ago in the actual writing sense. They’re finished stories, and on top of that are relics of their time, which doesn’t mean the stories don’t have any ongoing significance on a reading level—I just don’t have any interest in rewriting those particular stories. I’ve gotten them out of my head, to the point of not remembering at least a third of them on demand anymore, and I don’t have any desire to “retell” those exact stories. I do tend to tighten the wording and fix perceived errors/weaknesses whenever I do end up rereading an old story, and I usually silently update the AO3 version if I make any significant changes because AO3 makes it a breeze to update a posted fic. I might do FFnet too if I’m feeling up to it or have the time.

20. Which complete fic is your favourite?

Once upon a time I would’ve said Holding On, but I honestly find it kind of unbearably melodramatic now. the observable entropy of a closed system is equally melodramatic, as it was written in the same era, but at least it has the excuse of being told in second person and via a style that is a half step away from being poetry. Possibly I will reread it in a few years and find it equally obnoxious and overly dramatic, but it received some shockingly positive comments, which I wasn’t expecting at ALL, and I’ve been honestly blown away by the amount of praise it’s received. <3 to everyone who’s said anything about it!

21. What’s your total published word count?

141,000 on AO3, 160,000 on FFnet, but technically the light of my life SS wrote fifty thousand words of each. It’s too late for math.

 I tag @velkynkarma, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @writtenbyrain, @thebaconsandwichofregret, and anyone else who wants to play!

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

dx: a Ticking Clock [AU]

Masterlists: [Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer] [Ethan Ramsey x Ellie Shepherd] [Love & Scotch Crossover]

– – – Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt, Ethan Ramsey, Ellie Shephard (OH: MC), Naveen Banerji, Baz Mirani, Zaid + other OH characters mentioned Prompt: fear @choicesoctoberchallenge2020 Word Count: +/- 1,400

TW: character death mentioned (same warnings as would apply to OH2 CH11)

Series Background: This takes place in my Hollywood U AU. Alex and Thomas are engaged. Ethan is an old friend whom the couple reconnected with recently. Alex is the biggest shipper of Ethan and Ellie(MC), and is thrilled Ethan finally took  her advice to do something about his feelings

Chapter Background: This takes place after Two Words (Thomas and Alex come to Boston to offer assistance during the crisis and support their friends) and at the same time as Never Let Go (Ethan spends the night with Ellie in quarantine)

Catch up on Love and Scotch

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆ 

The hallway hummed with the murmur of the doctors collaborating with only one goal in mind—saving Ellie and Rafael. The diagnostic’s office had become overrun with the number of hands that offered assistance. The conversations quickly became a cacophonous ruckus rather than a productive dialogue of possible solutions. They decided to split into groups, in the hope of exploring more ideas in less time by allowing greater opportunities for everyone’s ideas to be shared and tested. Naveen headed the team that remained in Ethan’s office. Tobias led the team stationed in the conference room. Both groups worked diligently, knowing that time was of the essence and a wasted minute could be all that stood in the way of saving their friends’ lives. 

It hadn’t taken Alex long to discover Ethan’s hidden stash of coffee and his secret espresso machine. She caught a whiff of the rich, but subtle notes of the premium blend tucked in the bottom drawer of a cabinet while tidying papers on his desk.

“We don’t touch that,” Baz noted, leaning against the bookshelf behind her. “Ethan doesn’t let anyone touch it. He will tell you he is a connoisseur and no one quite grasps the delicacies needed. He’ll trust us with patients but not his espresso machine.”

A smile played on her lips, the machine buzzed to life under her skilled touch. “Ethan may think he knows coffee, but it’s kind of my thing.”

“On your head be it.” Baz breathed out a soft, skeptical laugh. “When this is over, I’d quite like to see his reaction to you informing him he is not as wise to his coffee as he believes.”

Alex worked her magic setting the machine up and readying it for her first request. “Something like ‘you know nothing, Ethan Ramsey’.”

His hearty laugh overtook the somber tone of the room, even if just for the two of them. "Except, he really would know nothing because that reference would go over his head.”

“True! Anyway, I’m sure he won’t mind. After all, it’s for Ellie—” The words slipped out of her lips in a tone she worried said too much. “What I meant is, I’m sure he’d want his team to be well cared for and fueled to assist any member of the team that could find themselves in mortal peril. For the EMT too. And anyone, not just Ellie,” she rambled trying to cover up for any slip that may have occurred.

“It’s okay, I know.”

“You know?” The last part of the word lingered as Alex dragged it out questioningly.

“I know.” He nodded, quirking a brow at her.

“You know, as in you know?” Her chocolate brown eyes narrowed on him knowingly. 

“I know,” he reasserted, grinning proudly. 

“Do they know?”

“Ellie might. Ethan doesn’t.”

“How?”

A low laugh rumbled in his chest. “How can you not notice? They haven’t exactly mastered the subtleties of being in a secret relationship.”

“By they, you mean Ethan?” Alex grinned to herself. The first round of espresso shots began to drip, filling the office with a warm, inviting scent.

“It’s like you’ve met him!” He teased, the two of them giggled in the corner like schoolgirls sharing a juicy secret.

“I like you, Baz,” Alex decided. “So if Ethan throws a tantrum about me using his coffee machine, I won’t even blame you,” she teased. “Maybe your brother though.”

“As long as I’m there when you tell him.”

“Deal. Now, what can I make you?”

Ethan’s precious supply of premium beans dwindled as the hours passed, Alex kept everyone caffeinated and alert, while Hunt brought food and water to the weary doctors. With each glance to the ticking clock, the lines of worry etched on their tired faces grew deeper. 

***

Hunt’s hand clasped on the older doctor’s shoulders, jerking him to attention and pulling him from his thoughts. “You need rest, Naveen.” 

“I will when we’ve solved this puzzle.” His weary eyes fell once more to the research and medical charts scattered on the table in front of him.

“At least take a walk to clear your head,” Hunt suggested.

He shook his head side to side in contemplation. “I can’t. Not until I have an answer. Not until they’re safe.”

“Naveen, no one will fault you for taking a break. Everyone else has.”

“I will,” he insisted. “But not yet. If something were to happen while I was gone or if we were ten minutes too late because I took a break…” His voice quivered, unable to finish the thought as dread twisted in his gut. The color drained from his face at the possibility of them being too late. 

Hunt nodded in understanding, knowing there was nothing he could do to comfort the man before him.

“Not just because Ellie saved my life last year,” he lowered his voice, keeping the next part between them. “I don’t have any children, I have Ethan. He may yet think that love is a weakness, but it’s not. Whether he’s ready to admit to it or not, he needs her. I don’t know if he could survive losing her.”

“I know what you mean.” Hunt’s gaze fell to Alex busy across the room. “There are some people we’ll go to any length to save, no matter the cost.” His hand found Naveen’s shoulder again, offering a consoling gesture. “If there’s anything I can do.”

***

Ethan’s gloved hand glossed over her tousled, sweat-coated hair, being careful not to wake her. She had finally let sleep overtake her not too long ago, though he didn’t dare join her. Fighting his own exhaustion, he kept a steady gaze on the monitors ensuring no sudden decline in her vitals. 

Alex watched for a few moments, giving him time with her. Her eyes misted over; she’d never seen him so tender before. She recognized that look on his face, if only Ellie could see him now. Luckily for him, the entirety of the hospital was too busy determining a cure that they would be oblivious to the obvious connection between the two doctors in the room before her. 

Her finger lingered on the intercom button for what felt like an eternity. She spoke softly, “Can I get you anything?”

Ethan’s blue eyes shimmered like the glassy surface of the cool ocean. “Anything yet?”

She shook her head side to side. “Sorry.”

He gently rested the plastic shield of his protective suit against the top of her head. His lips pressed against the clear surface. “Hold on just a little bit longer, Ellie.”

Alex sniffled, the pads of her fingers collecting the tears before they could fall. She needed to be brave for him. 

Ethan shifted, inching away from her. “Will you stay with her? I can’t ask you to come in even with protection, but just stay there and let me know the minute she wakes or if any of her vitals change. I know a nurse can do it, but I’d rather it be you.”

“Of course, Ethan. Whatever you need. What will you be doing?”

His fingers hovered once more over her, tracing the length of her arm. “Finding a way to save her.”

“I’m proud of you,” she whispered, as he began the procedure to leave quarantine without spreading the contaminant. 

“What for?”

“You took a chance.”

His tone was harsher, “look how that turned out.”

“This is just a chapter, I can’t believe it’s the end,” she offered, glancing back to Ellie sleeping soundly. “Take the advice you gave her. ‘Just hold on a little bit longer’, you’ll save her. I have to believe it.”

Ethan offered a curt nod, leaving in silence, pausing only for a moment to glance back to Ellie lying helplessly in the small hospital bed.

Alex focused on the steady pulse of the monitors, watching and listening for even the slightest shift in the information. Her hand rested over her phone in her pocket ready to call Ethan within seconds if needed. 

Hunt’s arms snaked around her from behind, causing her body to shake at the unexpected contact. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.” Alex leaned into her fiancé, letting the warmth of his embrace calm her racing mind.

“How are you holding up?” His beard tingled against her skin as he brushed a kiss on her cheek.

She spun quickly, wrapping her arms around him. She leaned up on her tiptoes to bury her face in the crook of his neck. 

“I know.” His fingers combed through her dark hair. She didn’t need to say what was on her mind, he knew the weight of what was troubling her. “Just have faith in them. He’ll find a way, I know he will.”

“How can you be so sure?” Alex sniffled into his shirt collar.

“Because he loves her.”

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

(tags in a reblog, trying that again to see if it makes any difference in my posts staying in search/tags)

[girlonthelasttrain]

Dear femslashex creator,

Thank you in advance for making something for me in the Femslash Exchange, and also for bringing more f/f content into the world! I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with. I’m girlonthelasttrain on AO3 too; feel free to browse my bookmarks to see the kind of things I gravitate towards. If you're writing/drawing for a Star Trek ship, feel free to take a look at my Trek sideblog as well.

My likes and DNWs are a bit different depending on whether you're making art or writing fic, and also depending on the fandom; I'll try to be as clear as possible and highlight the difference where necessary.

In any case the short version is:

Do Not Want

No smut, gore, extreme violence, alternate settings AUs (by this I mean things like 'Modern AU', crossovers, and similar). These are all hard nos.

I'd also rather not receive a work that has marriage/pregnancy/kids as the central concept(s). In fic they can be mentioned but they should not be the main point.

For fic, I'd also rather not receive pure fluff, though it's not as hard a no as the previous points (ie, if you can't think of anything else to write and risk defaulting please don't stress too much about this request).

Also for fic (or in case, comics), if a character is canonically involved with someone else I'd prefer to not see a cheating/infidelity story. I'd much rather see the conflict be resolved through polyamory or a breakup. No explicit character/ship bashing either please; good-natured jokes however are fine.

For art, fluff/sweet moments are perfectly fine, but the hard nos above still apply.

Things I like

For fic, in general I like character moments (especially characters coming to terms with their past/an aspect of themselves with the help of the other person in the ship), slow realizations of attraction and/or romantic feelings for the other person, missing scenes, post-canon (and in-between canon) speculation, seeing characters and the relationship between them changing throughout the years. Canon divergence AUs of the 'what if...' kind are usually something I like as well. In my various sci-fi fandoms I always love a good 'away mission together' situation. Most of all I like the character's personalities, quirks, and especially their flaws coming through in the narrative! Also, despite my no-fluff policy, the story doesn't need to have a plot to appeal to me, so don't worry about plot too much. Finally, trans headcanons and/or noncanonical pronouns for the characters involved are very welcome!

For art, I'm afraid I can't be as specific because I'm not an artist myself! To parallel my writing likes, I really enjoy fanart that captures a specific moment between two people (it can be serious, funny, sweet, melancholic, sad... you decide), but honestly I like all sorts of fanart depicting my favorite ships. I place some importance on character likeness and getting the details right, but honestly if done with intent I'm down for whatever change you want to make to character design (one classic example of this, if you're familiar with Star Trek, is giving Kira Nerys and Seven of Nine a better and more functional uniform). Again though, don't stress too much about this!

Under the cut I'm going to put more specific DNWs/requests for each fandom.

Star Trek DS9

(fic) I have a bit of a pet peeve regarding how much Garak/Bashir is present in DS9 f/f fics. If you want to reference the pairing in passing it's fine, but if either Garak or Julian are in your fic I'd really, really prefer if whatever is going on between them didn't get more than said passing mention.

(fic/art) For Ezri/Kira, I'd like there to be conflicting feelings regarding their attraction to one another; this is one of those ships where fluff doesn't really do much for me. I'd also really appreciate if what you make was set a few years post-canon, but that's up to you.

Star Trek Voyager

(fic/art) For Seven/B'Elanna, I'd like for you to not reference that scene in "Infinite Regress" where Seven bites B'Elanna, unless you're going to frame it as both as assault (with B'Elanna as the victim) and a violation of Seven's bodily autonomy. It's the only interpretation of that scene I can stomach, sorry.

Star Trek TNG

(fic/art) For Deanna/Toreth, I for one love a good rivalry with a Romulan... I also like referencing some obscure parts of Romulan canon in my own fic (I find that hand-kissing can be super hot, for example) but take this just as a humble suggestion.

The Expanse

(fic/art) I'm relatively new to the fandom therefore I haven't yet developed a taste for the kind of fan content I like for any of the ships I requested, so feel free to go wild! One thing I can say is that I care about Naomi, Camina and Bobbie very very much, so I just want... good things for them? (preferably without much mentioning of James Holden, whom I don't really like whoops)

Hades

(fic) I love the idea of getting into the nitty-gritty stuff with Nyx/Persephone, exploring all the reasons why they maybe really aren't... very well suited for one another (I think their personalities and character flaws could clash very easily!) but in the game they both hold a sort of devotion for the memory of the other. I'd be really happy if you found a way to explore that tension!

Teixcalaan Series

(fic/art) Mahit/Three Seagrass is one those ships where I don't necessarily want to see them working out their differences? "A Desolation Called Peace" really drove home how their big of a gap there is between them. I think I'd be happiest with 'one last time together' type of story here, to get some closure. This is, however, only a suggestion!

[plasticnightmaredoll]

So, this is a drabble I’ve been sitting on for a little while, mostly because I wrote it while in a “mood” and thus it’s kind of personal. However, I do still like it and want to share it.

It does involve Erron Black and Cassie Cage from “Mortal Kombat,” so if you’re familiar with them then kudos, I suppose. If not, then it’s no a big deal. You don’t need to know all about them to understand what’s going on in this drabble. 

I didn’t tag this writing with anything Mortal Kombat related because it’s kind of...bashing BlackCage (Erron Black x Cassie Cage) and doesn’t paint Cassie Cage in the best light. I don’t want the drama and bullshit that could result so I am keeping the MK tags far away from this drabble.

Now, this fic DOES involve Arkham Knight Riddler, so it’s a crossover, and I am 100% ok with tagging him and Scarecrow (Yes, he’s in it, too, sort of). Neither of them are portrayed in a way that would piss people off. 

Now, the fic is very personal to me and technically it’s a self-insert, but I refrained from using my real name or my alias, and has just referred to myself with pronouns. Why? Because I’m kind of shy and weird like that. Plus, it’s super personal and emotional to me, this drabble, and I just don’t feel comfortable directly attaching my name -- or even my alias -- to it right now.

This isn’t on AO3 for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, and I am honestly ok with any feedback on this, be it positive or negative. Seriously, if you have thoughts, then share. If you happen to be a BlackCage fan and/or Cassie Cage then feel free to send me hate -- no anon hate, though, as I have turned off anonymous asks.

I will warn you now, the drabble deals with self-esteem issues, and the ending, if you are familiar with Scarecrow (and if you’re reading this, I sure hope you are), the ending is kind of.....dark. Nothing actually happens but it is heavily implied someone is in for a traumatizing time.

Volunteer

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she said, sounding as defeated and drained as she looked. “I tried my best yet I still only managed to be in the friend zone. He said it’s not that I’m not good enough, but that he had liked her for a while and she finally said ‘yes’ to going out with him so…”

“What does this girl look like?” Edward asked, displeased with the situation.

“Hang on.”

Edward had to admit he wasn’t shocked by this news. From the start, he knew Erron Black was that type of guy, one of those dim-witted pretty boys who had no sense or reason. However, Edward didn’t say anything to her as she was an adult and could make decisions on her own -- even if they were the wrong ones. Besides, she was so smitten by Erron that Edward suspected she wouldn’t have listened to or believed his warnings anyway.

She searched on her phone and found the (infamous) girl’s Instagram profile and then handed it to Edward. Looking through Cassie Cage’s photos, frowning, shaking his head, he found himself unimpressed. This was the woman that got Erron’s attention? Honestly? She was a spoiled, bratty, self-centered blonde with the IQ of a donut! 

Clearly.

Although, seeing as how Erron’s IQ was clearly no higher than that of Cassie Cage, Edward figured birds of a feather flocked together...one dodo for another.

“Ugh, I’ve seen enough,” Edward said, handing her back her phone. “She’s a social media brat who has fluff for brains and probably uses her looks to get what she wants. There’s no way she’s actually an intelligent, fascinating person. Anyone who takes that many ridiculous selfies is, without a doubt, an idiot.”

Edward noticed she didn’t appear to be relieved by his words, so he quickly thought of something else to add, hoping it would provide some sort of window to clarity that she desperately needed for this situation.

“So, this Cassie fits society’s shallow and pointless standards of beauty,” Edward said. “She’s an absolute bore, I tell you! She’s got a pretty face and an attitude, probably only is successful because she’s relied on her parents for everything.”

She still looked upset, and maybe even more so.

Ok, Edward, think! thought the criminal genius, chewing on his lower lip as his anxiousness grew. There’s got to be a way to get this through to her. This is a waste of her time!

“I mean...I wouldn’t want to spend time with her,” Edward said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’d probably lose my mind after listening to whatever pointless drivel would inevitably spill forth from her mouth. As for her looks, well, let’s be realistic here: they won’t last, and then what? She’ll be stranded with her own deflated ego and nowhere to go.”

Edward could tell that she was nearly crying now much to his dismay, and she kept her head down to hide the tears gathering under her lashes. This was absurd, he thought. Why did she feel so hurt by a guy who was a complete moron and a girl who looked like every other blonde girl out there? It was a waste of time, energy, thought, and emotion to dwell on such people. Why couldn’t she see that?

“I understand what you said,” she said, sniffling. “I agree with a lot of it but...it still hurts, maybe more so now that I realize how much of a bimbo Cassie is. And Erron chose her? I’m not blonde...is that what he wants?” She gripped her phone tightly. “Do I need to start acting like an obnoxious brat, taking selfies and posting them online for attention?” The grip was now threatening to crack the protective outer case of the phone. “I did all I could to be a good friend to him, was there for him, listened to him, treated him well….and yet, I’m still not good enough to earn his...his love? He waited a long time for Cassie...well, I’ve waited even longer to stop being rejected because I’m not good enough!”

Not wanting her to injure herself, he reached out and placed a hand over hers, watching her fingers loosen around her phone.

“I don’t feel good enough,” she said softly, finally crying. “I’ve never been good enough. I don’t know why...I don’t know...I try and I try but it’s never enough...”

Edward watched her sob quietly to herself, unsure of what to do but his internal panic was growing worse. This wasn’t exactly his area of expertise, and he still thought she was wasting energy on two idiots. However, there was nothing he could do about that, not right now, not when she was still overwhelmed by emotion.

So, he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling a little awkward doing it but it was all he could think of at the time.

“It’s going to be alright,” Edward told her. “I promise.”

A few weeks later….

Edward was typing away at his computer as she sat at a table nearby working on one of her custom dolls. With her headphones on, she drowned out the world around her, entirely focused on painting the face of the doll. Because of this, she didn’t notice him get up from his chair to “greet” the ignorant Neanderthal standing outside under the security camera mounted on top of the main door.

Edward opened the door to see a worried Erron Black standing outside.

“What do you want?” Edward asked in an exasperated tone. 

“Have you heard from her?” Erron asked. “She hasn’t responded to my texts or calls, and it’s really botherin’ me. I wanna know if she’s a’right.”

Edward crossed his arms, sighing in annoyance.

“Yes, I have seen her and spoken to her,” Edward said. “And it’s her right to ignore you if she chooses to.”

“I...I know that but…” Erron rubbed the back of his neck. “I...I want to speak to her...there’s somethin’ I got to say. I...I just...I need to see her and talk to her, face to face.”

“Haven’t you done enough?” Edward demanded. “No, you can’t speak to her. You’ve done enough damage to her psychological state with your puny, insignificant brain.”

Erron looked taken aback but said nothing as guilt consumed him further. As much as he hated Edward’s callous words, the cowboy wasn’t in the mood to pick a fight.

“Now, run along, Little Cowboy,” Edward said. “Go back to your vapid Selfie Queen where you belong.”

With that, Edward closed the door in Erron’s face, smirking triumphantly. Why that idiot thought he could just walk on back with his tail between his legs and beg for forgiveness, Edward had no idea. Then again the other man was too selfish to realize the error of his ways, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise he tried that.

As Edward made his way back to his computer, he suddenly got an idea; a beautiful, incredible, ingenious, devious idea. Taking his phone out of his pants pocket, he searched for and dialed the number he had in mind for this situation.

“Hello, Crane,” Edward said, smiling wickedly to himself.

“Ah, Edward,” said Jonathan, who was fully expecting to be hit with Edward’s ego. “I am surprised to hear from you. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’ve got something, or rather someone for you.”

“Oh?”

“You said you were working on a new variation of that fear toxin of yours, am I correct?”

“Yes, and it’s nearly ready. Perhaps just another day more and it will be finished.”

“Great! Then I have a candidate you can test it on.”

“Oh, yes, do tell. I am always looking for ‘volunteers,’ as you know.”

Edward gave Erron’s name and description to Jonathan, his smile turning into a malicious grin as he did so. As much as Edward wanted to teach the dumb cowboy a lesson himself, he also thought it wasn’t worth the effort and Scarecrow loved having ‘volunteers’ for his silly little gas...

“I will have my men apprehend him right away,” said Jonathan.

“Just don’t leave any permanent damage,” Edward said. “Otherwise...have at it.”

“I would never do such a terrible thing,” Jonathan said, chuckling darkly. “I take good care of all of my ‘volunteers.’”

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Before I go, may I ask why you are recommending this man to me? Is he one of your henchmen? Did he steal from you? Fail to complete a job?”

Now this caught Edward off guard. How was he going to explain this? He couldn’t even fully explain his feelings about this -- about her -- to himself. Yet, he didn’t want to deny Jonathan an answer, either. It was a perfectly valid, logical, albeit nosey question.

“This man, he…” Edward began, his words catching in his throat for a moment. “He, um...he...damaged something...something very valuable to me. And...and as much as I want to discipline him myself, he is too far beneath me for me to waste any of my precious time dealing with him further.”

“Ah, I see,” said Jonathan. “I must be going now, but thank you, Edward. You are too generous.”

With that, Edward hung up and made his way over to her, lightly tapping her shoulder. Turning around, she smiled up at him and removed her headphones.

“Hi, Eddie,” she said. “Did you need something?”

“No, no,” he said with a charming smile. “I just wanted to get a closer look at what you’re working on. It looks impressive so far.”

“Really?” she looked delighted, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. “It’s not done yet but...thank you! You have given me a little confidence boost.”

“And you deserve it,” Edward said, patting her shoulder. “I look forward to the final result.”

Back at his desk, Edward continued working on code for upgrades to the Riddlerbots, humming to himself contentedly. Maybe what he did was a bit much, but the cowboy needed to be put in his place. Men like Erron -- people like Erron -- always did. Besides, she would forget about the fool in time. Edward was certain of this because that was the nature of things: you forget about what no longer has any meaning or purpose in your life, and seeing as how she wasn’t at all interested in conversing with Erron anymore...well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the conclusion.

“Just dance,” she sang softly to herself. “Gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm...”

Edward nodded to himself upon hearing her, smiling.

Yes, it’s going to be ok, My Dear, he thought. It’s all going to be ok…

-----------------

And that’s the drabble....Now, think of this: Riddler could fuck Erron Black up. I mean, he has a goddamn robot army. And Riddler is a criminal genius -- well, even without the “criminal” part, he’s still a genius. Erron is....he’s not. No offense but he’s not. 

In this drabble, Eddie is aware of all of this, but -- and this is where the self-insert part comes in so forgive me -- he does have strong feels for myself (which sounds weird but, like I said, this is a self-insert type of thing and I self-ship with this Riddler so......), as I’m the only friend he’s got (only friend he’s probably ever had, really). So, he’s very protective. 

I can see Arkham Knight Riddler being this way if he actually cared for someone. They’d be special to him for a lot of reasons and he wouldn’t want them to be hurt. He’d be devastated because he cares for them, they care for him...it’s the last the he’d want, for them to be hurt in any way.

And we know Riddler isn’t above getting revenge, and this is personal. 

Yes, I know Batman pissing him off and humiliating him over and over is personal, but I think this sort of situation would be even heavier for AK Riddler for the reasons I already mentioned. 

Some idiot dared to make his one and only friend, the only person who has been both kind and respectful towards him despite his flaws, feel awful about themselves and for no good fucking reason? 

A guy who reminds Eddie of the bullies he had to deal with growing up (I do think AK Riddler was bullied growing up -- it seems to be implied, and with how poor his social skills are, I think he would have sadly been a target for bullies in school)? 

A guy who is so beneath both Eddie and his dear friend, that said guy doesn’t deserve to walk away from this without paying a price?

But Edward isn’t a master of mental torture like Scarecrow is, and we know Scarecrow’s fear toxin makes people hallucinate terrible, terrifying things, including their worst fears and possibly any traumas they have endured in life. Erron Black didn’t have the best childhood based on his intros with other MK characters. It seems like he grew up in an abusive household, has trouble being open with anyone, has trouble forming serious relationships, chases cheap thrills over and over like he’s filling some sort of void....

Something tells me Erron wouldn’t have a good time under the influencer of Scarecrow’s toxin, and while Eddie doesn’t know about Erron’s unpleasant childhood, he...also doesn’t and wouldn’t care because, AGAIN, of the reasons I have already mentioned. In Eddie’s mind, he’s getting revenge for his only friend, the only person he actually cares for, and he’s getting it in a very fucked up kind of way. 

Phew...that was a real fucking ramble. I apologize but I have a lot of feelings about this drabble and its subject matter.....

And let’s be fucking REAL, Bitches: Erron should be glad we’re dealing with Arkhamverse Riddler and not Telltale Riddler. If it were Telltale Riddler.....omfg Erron would probably beg for the fear toxin.

Because Telltale Riddler doesn’t fuck around. 

[hyaciiintho]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG

❀°◌̊ SPEED ◌̊°❀ I am not fast... But that doesn’t mean I’m any less eager to interact with people !! My attention is constantly split between my art (be it personal art or commissions), gaming, and general mental health debilitations when they become their hardest to deal with. So in general? I am a very slow roleplayer, especially since I like having my blog run on a queue to spread out what little activity I do have across a number of days, as opposed to a mini hour spurt.

❀°◌̊ REPLIES ◌̊°❀ As stated before, this blog runs on a queue, and so replies may come out throughout the week despite having worked on them days prior. Again, I’m a slow roleplayer, and since my attention flits about so wildly without any strong anchor, I like to give my blog, at the very least, the appearance of consistent activity /)///v///(\ I’m sorry... but I do like seeing people’s replies, and often it gets me motivated to reply as quickly as I can, even if it’s queued rather than immediately posted!

❀°◌̊ STARTERS ◌̊°❀ I don’t often make starter calls, since not many new people tend to like them ?? I’m not opposed to having multiple threads with the same people, but it grows a bit samey over time after a while, y’know? Especially if there’s been little development within the thread... I’d rather have one thicc development thread than 10 mini interaction threads that consist of nothing but idle chit chat. As for liking starter calls, I try to like any I see on the dash when I haven’t had a thread with the person yet, or we don’t currently have a thread together.

And yet again... I am not fast, so when I do post a starter call, I’m very sorry for the slowness of me getting to them dfhskjhkfd

❀°◌̊ INBOX ◌̊°❀ I tend to be a bit quicker to answer inbox stuff, but I think that’s a common thing in the RPC ?? They just feel easier, I guess? But my inbox is basically open to anyone who wants to poke the muse. I know a lot of people don’t want personals or non-mutuals to interact with them in any way, shape, or form, but my inbox is open to all. I just find that easier to manage and just also opens up the chance for interactions where you otherwise wouldn’t be able to get in a thread. I also tend to take my time with inbox stuff, as I do anything, so... again... please be patient with me haha~ I’m trying my best ♡

❀°◌̊ SELECTIVITY ◌̊°❀ It would be a lie to say that I’m not particularly selective. I do have standards when it comes to writing partners, and unfortunately, not everyone falls into those standards. This is just like how I, myself, wouldn’t fall into someone else’s standards for whatever reason. It’s just a personal preference. If I feel like my writing and your writing won’t flow, or I find myself having difficulties coming up with a way to reply to your style or muse, then I’m afraid writing together just isn’t going to work out.

Aside from writing styles/muses, there’s also fandoms that I’m not particularly interested in or have little to no idea as to who or what they are. I like staying in a specific level of comfort and familiarity for my blogs, and so if I’m unfamiliar with your fandom or I just don’t see any interactions between our muses to be beneficial in development or story telling, then I tend to stay away. We all have our preferences, and that’s okay ♡

❀°◌̊ WISHLIST ◌̊°❀ Gosh, I never really put much thought into wishlists ?? Though I guess I could say I would love love love some crossovers with Shadow of the Colossus or Bloodborne? AU’s even haha~ Especially if we can develop them together and like... change the flow of canon into our own specially told story c: I’m also a horror game junkie, so honestly, Silent Hill, Eternal Darkness, Haunting Ground, Clock Tower, The Evil Within, Resident Evil, Fatal Frame     All the horror game AU’s/Crossovers. I could talk for days about potential AU’s and story shifts that could happen. I just think they’re lots of fun !!

❀°◌̊ HONEST NOTE ◌̊°❀ Not sure what to say here? I’ve been pretty honest in everything I’ve answered... But I guess I’ll say here that... Somedays (weeks/months lmao) are harder than others for me when it comes to keeping up with the RPC. A lot of us suffer from mental health issues, and a lot of us use rolelplay to cope, but as someone who suffers from RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), I tend to do the opposite in order to cope with those symptoms. I shy away from social situations in an effort to shield myself from it, and while isolation isn’t the greatest technique to use when you’re feeling ignored/rejected (as untrue as it may be !!) it’s still the thing I fall back onto all the time.

My social battery is also garbage haha~ and so often if anyone becomes friends with me, I will 110% at some point, completely ghost you until I’m feeling better. As someone who’s usually the person people come to for their issues and venting, it becomes hard for me to flourish and thrive when I’ve given all of myself to others who need a little bit of light. I don’t like talking about my issues to others, so ‘you can talk to me about it!!’ isn’t going to change my aversion to socializing with you, and I am very sorry about that. It’s just how I am, and it’s nothing to do with your own personal worth. I am just mentally and emotionally incapable of handling things sometimes, so I’m sorry !!

Tagged by: Myself~ ♡ Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it, you can say I tagged ya