#really get excited for anymore...
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Finally went through and rearranged my podcasts (I'm subscribed to way too many podcasts
Green = podcasts I'm actively keeping up with whenever they post (also basically in order of which I'm most anxious for new episodes for currently)
Blue = podcasts I'm kinda keeping up with, or newly added and slowly catching up on
Purple = podcasts I'm not really keeping up with but will occasionally check in on if I need something different to fill the air
Red = podcasts which aren't actively posting/are on hiatus and which I'm waiting for new episodes of
Orange = podcasts which aren't posting and I don't really expect new episodes of, but I want to stay subscribed to Just In Case
Yellow = podcasts I've newly subscribed to that I either haven't tried yet or don't have time to invest in yet
#If you want to know any specific titles I can share those as well!#also some of these are kind of fluid categories lol#like Meddling Adults is also on hiatus... but he keeps promising new episodes will be available soon... so i wait...#probably a dozen of these i should just unsubscribe to. i just unsubscribed to The Universe today because i#finally finished it yesterday and I should really unsub Anthropocene Reviewed too#i've been listening to so much If Books Could Kill and Maintenance Phase lately also that like#i listened to one ep of Ologies and one ep of Search Engine in the last week and in both of them they were interviewing different 'experts'#of which i thought 'oh wow you really dont have any evidence to back up your argument do you'#which is making me feel like huh do i WANT to actually catch up on Search Engine :/#i gotta listen to more than just one tho lmao#kinda want more actual plays... but they need to be under like. fifty episodes by this point lmao#also more fiction in general? all of the old audio dramas i loved are over and nothing i've heard about since has really grabbed me#though maybe i'm just in more of a casual background chatter kinda podcast phase#MBMBaM is also... really only there for the nostalgia factor... the occasional live show ep is the only thing I#really get excited for anymore...#could you spend less than twenty minutes an ep on a fast food ad please...#maybe do THREE questions instead of one or the occasional two? ...
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IT'S FALIGON DAY BABYYYYYY I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS DAY SINCE 2018 WE'RE POPPIN MASSIVE BOTTLES 🥳🎉🐉🍾🍻🔥
#these are all meant to be transparent but tumblr isn't allowing that oh well lol#it's yesterday when I'm scheduling this and god I'm so excited for the episode#it's really good right guys I know it will be#man I envy you future people getting to see the episode today#I still got one more sleep till faligon 😩#anyways I'm rly proud of these hope u like 💖#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#oh man I won't have to tag spoilers on faligon anymore after today how exciting#my art#falin touden#falin dungeon meshi#chimera falin#faligon
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FUCK IT!!!! I MISS WHEN MY MINECRAFT SERVERS HAD CULTURAL EXCHANGE IN THEM!!!! I MISS WHEN MY MINECRAFT SERVERS HAD LANGUAGE BARRIERS IN THEM!!!!! I MISS WHEN WE WERE ALL CRAMMED IN A PIT TOGETHER SCREAMING AND SHAKING AND SOBBING AND CONFUSED AS ALL HELL SITTING IN THE TUMBLR LIVEBLOGS HOLDING HANDS AS WE ALL EXPLAINED WHAT THINGS MEANT, WHAT THE REAL WORLD CULTURAL CONTEXT WAS, WHAT WAS GOING ON IN BITS THE TRANSLATOR COULDN'T GET!!!!! FUCK IT!!!!!!! I'LL TAKE ANOTHER GODDAMN PURGATORY!!!!! GIVE ME A BUNCH OF PEOPLE FORMING SIX PERSON FAMILIES OVER THE SPAN OF THREE TO FIVE DAYS!!!!!!!! GIVE ME THE EVIL SHADOW GOVERNMENT THAT NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE, GIVE ME THE STUPID FUCKING EYE WORKERS THAT WERE AGGRAVATINGLY UNBEATABLE, GIVE ME THE CONFUSING ASS BLACK CONCRETE STRUCTURES THAT WENT BASICALLY FUCKING NOWHERE!!!!!! I'LL TAKE IT ALL IF IT MEANS I GET A FRENCH MAN AND A GUY FROM LUXEMBOURG AND A WOMAN FROM SOUTH KOREA SHOOTING THE SHIT IN A MINECRAFT PIT STARTER HOUSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! I'LL TAKE IT IF I GET BRAZILIAN PORTUGUESE AND FRENCH AND ENGLISH AND SPANISH SITTING AT A FUCKING TABLE IN A SECRET UNDERGROUND MEETING ROOM THEORIZING ABOUT A MINECRAFT CHARACTER WITH AN APPEARANCE BASED ON A JOKE ABOUT A GUY'S DOG BEING AN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
#NOT THE ADMIN EXPLOITATION THO THAT CAN STAY GONE#block game brainrot#shut up vic#qsmp#im in my feels idk the qsmp really struck a chord in me#that nothing has really been able to refill i'm ngl#i really miss the brain workout i got trying to keep up with the cross cultural multilingual stuff#and it's not the same if i just watch the streamers in languages i don't understand#bc on qsmp it was like. i can watch the pov of a streamer coming from the same language background as me#and then i know that if i'm lost so are they and then i don't feel like i'm floundering alone#but like i don't have that anymore :( i miss it a lot#it was so funny and it was so earnest and i really FELT IT#it was a whirlwind and it was so exhausting and there's bits that ethically probably should never be repeated (eggs)#but i wouldn't want it to be different (except the workers rights violations; again those can go)#idk all these fucking duos that sound like absolute pipe dream crossover nonsense and are fully viable#it's nuts and it's beautiful and i miss how fucking WILD that was#i'll never not be upset that the koreans and hugo barely even got a MOMENT#i was so excited to see how they would interact with and respond to the overall island lore like the federation and the codes#ughhhhh anyway it's 4am i'm in my feels nothing has really engaged me the way qsmp did#i really enjoyed the challenge of the culture and language barrier bc i really had to ENGAGE with the streams#in a way i don't normally and in a way i haven't since#i miss it :( also slimeriana. that too. fucking hilarious. can we get them in the outlast trials.#add cellbit and roier call it a double date what who said that#(that's a joke to be clear but not the part about the outlast trials they should do that those streams were peak)#anyway uhhhhh if you read these good fortune is coming to you soon#long tags
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So god created us in his image, right? And that’s cool and all but what if it turns out god, like, hates his own image??? What then????
#Yeah okay#I don’t even like this as much anymore#But whatever#He makes me insaneeeeer#literally nuts#Bg text is just a snippet from paradise lost because I thought it would look neat and like. Idk biblical symbolism ig#Whateverrrrrrr#How do you think he feels abt humans having red blood. Like.#Okay I know that with Jack he was really big on it#Like excited#But Jack was just some other guy who happened to have red blood#He created us and he created us wrong#And it just so happens we also have his fucked up awful mutant blood color?#Yeah okay sure#It’s gotta feel like one last slap in the face in the cosmic joke that is his existence#It is inescapable!!! You flow through their very being!!! You are a cancerous presence that has invaded their very veins!!!!#You are the force that keeps them alive as well as the thing that kills them in the end!#Does this make any sense actually. Let me know#Anyway yeah that’s all#Byeeeee#i might draw more Erivris later but idkkkkkkk#My ipad is getting replaced soon so I won’t have to steal my brother’s to draw anymore#So hopefully more art then#okayyyy bye 4real this time#homestuck#homestuck fanart#karkat vantas#homestuck karkat#art#digital art
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Sylv/Gard + Shiny fusion
#getting its own post because im proud of htem YIPPEE!#sylveon#gardevoir#pokemon fusion#pokefusion#these r redos of very old sprites and im really happy with how much better they look#redoing some of my old sprites has been fun because dang i got a lot better in a year#the thing i struggle most w w my own art isnt that its ugly its often that i feel like im Just Not Getting Better#so this has been exciting :]#now my regular digital art HAS been backsliding and um that is an issue. girl help i cant fucking draw anymore#but uh. one at a time i guess. taking what i can get
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CAN we discuss how hard it is to make the call when your pets time is coming around .
#tiddytaco#b#dont contact me about this im just tellin yall#gerties time will be monday afternoon#shes having a harder time getting around & she doesnt come running for treats in the morning anymore#& its better to call it before she gets too miserable#weve been thinking it over bc she still gets excited for her slop#but shes not really grooming anymore#& we dont wanna wait until shes really suffering
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bug doodles so i can say i drew something
#oc#original character#alien oc#artists on tumblr#art#aliens#sketch#nyx#having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too#i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right#if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month#just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling#IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR#more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it#i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it#guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art#or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed
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Day 76
Today’s Board is:

Me when I get the pizza of anguish and disappointment
(From TV episode 10C Letter Late Than Never)
#htf#happy tree friends#Htf cuddles#ok yeah I know technically it’s the squashed baby corpse of anguish and disappointment#but whatever#anyways very exciting life development!!! I saw htf in the wild!!!!!#I was at like an art market at a local college and someone had a mime button up for sale#and I had a lil “holy shit that’s your hyperfixation moment” and then speedran getting a PayPal to buy it :]#golly I need to get more fan merch that’s the first htf thing I own that I didn’t personally make#id also love to have official merch but uh.#well that’s all very expensive now <//33#siighhhhh man why couldn’t I have just known as a baby that’d I’d be hyperfixated on htf as a 20 year old#And my little baby self could just buy all the merch at hot topic#for legal reasons this is a joke. I am like really glad I generally avoided graphic content at a kid#technically I did see one episode as a kid!#it was Nuttin But the Tooth and I got scared and didn’t watch anymore until now#tbh still not a big fan of that episode but that’s just cus I don’t like shots of the mouth#especially inside that mouth shots eugh#Alright bye bye tags hope you enjoyed my info dump ^^
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this animatic is going to kill me
odysseus & telemachus design sketch:
#epic the musical#the odyssey#homers odyssey#greek mythology#odysseus#telemachus#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital art#my animatic#my art#doing this in my normal style because i like to suffer apparently#this is a 5 minute song help#forcing myself to do this so i can allow myself to do another project#love the backwards thinking of an artist's mind#do odysseus and telemachus look similar enough#i feel like i went face blind to my own designs so i can't tell anymore#who cares really#i'm really excited to get to draw certain parts#but i have work and have to wait until my weekend to really grind#i also had to stop and do design work ie. floor plan etc etc#in the middle of doing this bc i forgot and ended up spending time on that#someone remind me to finish the athena design BEFORE i get to her part lmfao#yes odysseus is nakey underneath all that#zoo wee mama
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Looking up the different routes on the deltarune wiki and... yeeaa I would have never discovered the snowgrave route on my own.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#there's soooo much stuff I've missed#and i hate looking such playthroughs up cuz they are spoiling so much for me#i was backtracking so much in chapter 2 but apparently not enough and not correctly#ughhhh so close and yet so far away#i just didn't get the clues#and if i understand the wiki right... there are two ways to fight spamton neo?#gotta have to read into that again#idk how his battle is gonna be but god I'm excited for it#also because it has a banger theme#side fact. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A is actually my fav ost from the game. so far. with It's TV Time being a close second. obviously...#i gotta have to be so careful in this run to not make any mistakes and see all the stuff people randomly found but i did not#like. apparently you can battle mike?????#UGH I'M MISSING SO MUCH STUFF#also what I just noticed. in the chapter selection screen there's a little 4x3 field which is either rectangles or triangles#this probably hints to Secrets being found?#because yesterday I only had two and today it were four. Hm#all that aside. something i always thought is that gaster is. like. just a data mined unused/rejected(?) file? like a left over?#but apparently he is in undertale? is he in deltarune too??? never got this guys deal#after my undertale phase i couldn't really like the skeletons anymore. for reason I'd rather keep unknown#and damn man. dr made me dislike sans and toriel so much. ESPECIALLY after chapter 4. god that sequence fucks me up up#augh too much talk#I'll change this into a new dragon is gaming post thread cuz the other is becoming too long. for my taste
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whenever i dress masculine im like wow this is amazing i feel so cool and want to do this forever and whenever i dress feminine im like wow this is amazing i feel so cool and want to do this forever. i just love everything
#its so hard because like.#ive spent so much time being invested in being femme4butch and really kind of staked my identity on it#and now kind of spending more time in butchness and masculinity which is fun and different and exciting#but i still feel so like internally pressured to just pick one or the other and make up my mind bc i still view it as this dichotomy#which i need to get out of. really trying to make room for and honor and respect all of me in my contradiction...<3#as much as i think femme4butch is so great and wonderful and fun to be in a relationship like that... its ultimately kind of limiting 4 me#like im still 100% attracted to butches/queer masc women first and foremost but i dont want to be crammed into that dichotomy at all anymor#i really do kind of get the criticism against it as a binary. its not for everyone and its sadly just not for me#i would say the way i express my masculinity is definitely butch but so is the way i express my femininity femme-#- in a distinctly lesbian sense#like honestly yeah labels are for clothes!
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I'm starting to think that maybe the issue isn't whether or not the April Fools Videos count as cannon, or whether or not people are allowed to win a second time. I think y'all might just fucking hate Scott.
#I watch new Scott Smajor video for the life series#I am overjoyed to see my streamer doing well. Excited to see what the fandom thinks up for lore and story#I log into tumblr#I am reminded that all of you fucking hate Scott for no specific reason?? and that he is not allowed to do anything ever at all#“The Aprils fools episodes don't really count-” then you don't get to count Cleo as a winner either#“Well in my heart Tango Won-” What do you mean he came in fourth#I love him. but 4th#“Well I consider Grian to be the winner-” WJAT#????#Genuinely what are you talking about#Actual take I've seen#This isn't about prior winning anymore at this point you aren't even trying to hide the fact that you hate him#Top three were all previous winners#Clearly they weren't taking it as seriously and people who won before were allowed to win again#BUT NOOOO#No one is mad that the other two would have taken first if it wasn't Scott and that other past winners were clearly gunning to win#I just-#This is why I don't go here anymore#You all are mean. You know that?#Any creator shouldn't be expecting to get hate for winning a game that they play with their friends for fun#why have you set that as a precedent#what is wrong with all of you#life series#simple life#Rhys Rambles
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Well they caught him. If he wasn't the exact kind of person tumblr loves, the conspiracy theories about this being a random person being framed would have continued to spread. But he's an attractive 26 year old white man who was caught carrying a manifesto about corporate America and has an internet history that matches up with tumblr's general politics. So everyone is going to get excited about how he's a martyr and go back to acknowledging reality in that there isn't a conspiracy to frame the wrong guy.
The discussions over whether or not this man should be lionized as a hero are honestly not as relevant as the comfort with which people are going to drop the conspiracy theory they would have been fully committed to if this man's politics turned out to be nuts. The ease with which the userbase of this website switches between realities based on whether or not they confirm their biases is really alarming. I just hope people understand how weird it is to claim a random person is 100% going to be framed by the FBI on one day, and then drop that by the next day when it becomes clear that the person being "framed" is the exact kind of communist you had hoped.
#gingerswagfreckles#i feel like this comes off as waaah the ceo got shot and i really dont feel that way#i dont care he had it coming#and also. i cannot say yet bc not much info has come out but so far the shooter doesnt seem like someone i dont generally agree with#(preliminarily. maybe the manifesfo is super nuts idk)#but i really think that everyone's excitement to celebrate this guy as a hero is going to#distract from the fact that leftists have like decided conspiracies theories are completely acceptable#and not only that they're fun and true based on nothing but also that they stop being true#when theyre no longer politically beneficial#which just like. do you guys even understand how bad that is. not just that ppl are all gung ho about conspiracies now#but that theyre not dropping them in response to new information that disproves them#but in response to new information that makes them politically inconvenienient to continue to believe#it implies that a huge chunk of leftists are not basing their opinions on reality and facts but whatever makes them feel good and confirms#their identity within their social group. which has been true to some extent for a while#but we are getting to the point where people arent uncomfortable with the cognitive dissonance#that comes with believing in different versions of reality from one moment to the next based on what feels like it would be cool#in that moment#idk we are all doomed i think#i saw this coming back in 2017 and no one listened to me :/ people dont believe in objective truth anymore#they believe truth is something malleable that can be changed to confirm their beliefs#rather than something objective that they should change their beliefs in response to#like why are you all dropping the whole this is a random person being framed thing if you believed that yesterday#like oh ok NOW the police are a reliable source for identifying who the perpetrator is?? bc the perpetrator turned out to be someone you#think is cool?? i do not believe you guys would be believing these same souces arent in on a conspiracy against leftists if this guy#had turned out to be someone you dont like and agree with#luigi mangione#united healthcare#united healthcare ceo#united healthcare ceo assassination
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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End of this chapter, from A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss by Qvill
#Space AU#Bdubs#Fanfiction#Please don't follow me expecting hermitcraft content#I don't know if I'll ever make anymore#A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss#I'm on a kick of wanting to draw scenes from various stories that I'm reading#The author's design for Glare!bdubs looks so huggable#Mines a bit more marvin the martian meets the swamp thing XD#I'm really excited for the next installment#if/when it ever happens#Like#Will bdubs be rescued immediately or will the pirates get him off the ship first?#Will they take away his Shroud??#The drama potential is so high#I hope at least one of the hermits calls Bdubs an idiot (affectionately) for his stunt#I really really like the descriptions/world building of the Glare#It gives me the same comfy feelings as those fuzzy aliens from a Wrinkle in Time#Hermitcraft#bdubbleo100#docm77#ZombieCleo#Keralis
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Going through a lot this month but at least I'm bisexual
#gonna text my friend again if the sao paulo trip is still happening but tbh i really dont want to go anymore#i want to get my money back and pay the bills maybe buy me a little treat idk#im so stressed out with uni the idea of spending 4 days in sao paulo unable to work on any of my assignments or studying...#yeah that doesnt sound relaxing at all actually it sounds like a recipe for disaster#plus well im broke and i cant start looking for jobs until the semester ends#i was excited to see a lot of places in sao paulo and go to the parade but atp i just dont think I'll have fun#even if my friend does go#cuz now im mad at him#and it begs the question if hes treating this so lightly does he even care#will he even want to spend that time with me and go with me to all the places i want to see?#yeah i dont think so#so idk#i could put some of the money of this trip aside and start saving to get my passport next year#idk idk
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