#reasonably good time. great thing to kind of pay attention to for a bit while mostly focusing on not failing to drink soup

[unopenablebox]

experiencing some improvement after 800mg of ibuprofen and 🌸's kind administration of mushroom soup

[calcifiedunderland]

I love your selkie Jade fic!! It’s so good and so creative! I need a Floyd courting fic like I need air, maybe where Yuu has no idea what Floyd strange behavior is, but the octavinelle crew is acting very odd and extra smug when they see Floyd and the prefect together

🐬💥💌Request received! Thank you for your message, your delivery is ready~

THANK YOU!!! I’m glad you liked the Jade Selkie fic AH!!! I really wanted to write a Floyd version too hehe, hope you enjoy~

Floyd Leech, ft. Selkie

Jade! Azul!

Floyd was confident no one would dare take his pelt. It was easy to steal a selkie’s pelt when it was left unattended (like Jade’s) or hidden (like Azul’s). Floyd always knew where his was - always, always, on his person.

When he had to go to the surface to attend NRC, their father gave him two pieces of advice. One, always pay attention to your footwear. And two, always keep your pelt with you. Whether it’s in your bag, over your shoulders, or under your clothes.

People expected Floyd to be more lax with his skin, but he took the advice to heart more than Jade, who liked showing it off tantalizingly to those grubby landers. So, Floyd’s pelt was always under his clothes. He hated the feeling of extra layers, but he hated being parted with the pelt even more. The very thought of being taken away from the ocean made his human skin crawl.

Imagine his panic when he couldn’t find it once he returned to his dorm after club practice.

He’d tied the pelt securely underneath his basketball jersey, and practice went off without a hitch. He was fired up that day too. He’d won points left and right, and left the gym feeling great. Up until he realized his pelt was no longer snugly tied to his torso, and his heart dropped. He’d passed through the gym, the entire school, the mirror chamber, and through the Lounge up to his dorm. He could’ve lost it anywhere. To anyone.

Jade opened their dorm door to see Floyd flinging things around their room, and launching himself to Jade’s side to dig through his things. “What in the Seven’s are you doing, Floyd?” He didn’t even need to a response when Floyd turned to him with sheer panic on his face. Jade felt his throat tighten. Floyd lost his pelt.

Meanwhile, you stared at the… cloth? in front of you. Earlier today, you’d stopped by the gym while running errands for Crowley. As you made your way across, you noticed a teal heap amidst the basketballs. You knelt, curious, and picked it up. Wait, isn’t this what Jade and Floyd wear?

You didn’t really know what it was, only that it seemed special to them. You never wanted to be rude and ask him about it though, since you figured Floyd had his reasons for hiding it, while Jade has his own for flaunting it.

That thing was massive. You didn’t even see a zipper on it, so it couldn’t be a jacket. Not to mention, it felt kind of… leathery, almost. Like fish skin or something.

When you got to Ramshackle, you folded it neatly before tucking it in a spare shoebox you had. It had a few jewelry pieces in it with shells and pearls. You also chucked a shoe polish in, as well as some funky patterned socks you didn’t want. You decided to leave them in, tucked under the cloth. Maybe Floyd would like them.

The next day, you walked into Mostro Lounge with the box. You overheard some students freaking out, whispering about Floyd being in one of his moods, but this time it was even worse.

You frowned, suddenly nervous. Floyd’s freaking out? Why? You clutched the box a bit tighter. Was it because of the cloth?

In Azul’s office, Floyd was damn near about to blow the whole dorm up. It took Jade wrestling him down and Azul placating him, to get him to calm down just a fraction.

Even now, Jade had to keep watchful eye on him while Azul had a million contracts on his desk, hair wild from running his hands through it. Currently, Floyd was staring listlessly at the wall, bouncing his leg wildly. Who could have possibly been brazen enough to take Floyd’s pelt…? Jade and Azul had an understanding. They’d make them pay for this.

You overheard someone say Floyd was in Azul’s office, so you knocked on the door. “Hey, is Floyd in there?” You called, walking in. Jade glanced at Floyd, who seemed to at least compose himself in front of you. How interesting.

You stopped in front of Floyd, who looked up at you from the couch. He looked up at you, irritated. You cleared your throat, presenting the box to him. “I found your… belongings so I thought I’d give it back to you. It was in the gym, I figured you didn’t want to lose it.”

Floyd’s eyes zeroed in on the box, sensing the pelt, and he grabbed it from you. He nearly tore the top off, but at last he had his pelt back. He almost tore his uniform off then and there to feel it against his skin when he suddenly stopped.

You gave it back to him. You, gave it back to him. You gave it back.

Jade and Azul stared wide eyed at you and Floyd. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, “I also put some extra stuff in the box too, if you want it.”

Floyd lifted the skin a bit, and his eyes went wide. Glittering jewelry, shells, and pearls nestled in the folds of the pelt. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and Jade and Azul gasped.

“Oho?” Jade said, grinning slowly. “Oho?” Azul looked shocked. Floyd lifted the pelt out, and more jewelry fell out between the folds. Jade lifted his hand to his mouth, looking sly, “how forward of you, (Name). And in front of us, too.” Azul rose an eyebrow, pleased, “I must say, I didn’t expect you to be the pelt thief. What an interesting development.”

Floyd was quiet, staring at everything in shock. He didn’t expect this from you, Shrimpy. You always were able to surprise him, but this took the bait. It was like everything started to make sense.

You had to know what you’d done. You gave Floyd jewelry, something merfolk did when they wanted to show affection. Not only that, you gave him things directly related to his interests. He eyed the shoe polish with interest, grinning widely. This was textbook courting rituals.

“Ne, shrimpy really is the best~” He stood, mood completely changed. You shrank back a bit as he leered over you. As he gazed into your eyes, you felt the acute sense that you just did something big.

“Don’t you worry Shrimpy, I’m gonna repay you back real good~” Floyd winked at you. You smiled nervously, conscious of the others’ smirks, “I-I should go.” You scurried out of Azul’s office, hearing Floyd’s raucous laughter echo behind you.

Floyd’s kinda weird today, you thought. You didn’t particularly mind it, though. Although dealing with Azul and Jade was a doozy.

Azul ran into you earlier, although you weren’t sure it was on accident. He’d hummed cryptically, with that sneaky businessman smirk he had when he knew something you didn’t. “I must say, it was incredibly forward of you to present Floyd’s pelt, especially with extra gifts. He was energetic all night, he hardly did any Lounge work,” Azul’s words somehow held little annoyance. Confusion filled you. His ‘pelt’? And the jewelry and shoe polish? Was it a big deal?

Azul continued, “You should find Jade later. He will want to speak to you, especially to go over your plans.” Your brow furrowed, echoing “plans?” Azul nodded, amused. “It’s more informal, since we’ve known you before. Just to discuss matters - the timing, ideal circumstance, your intentions, so forth.” He’d walked off before you could ask more. Your head swam.

You hadn’t been able to properly speak to Jade. He was all cordial smiles and, surprisingly, bowed to you multiple times. An amused smile graced his face, and he seemed to revel in your alarm. He’d brush past you just before you could ask him anything, and was always replaced by Floyd bounding up to you and taking you into his arms in giggles.

Ever since you gave him the box, Floyd was strangely clingy. His constant hugging and nuzzling you was borderline affectionate, and it made your heart stutter and stomach feel fluttery. You noted that he was wearing the jewelry you stuck in the box, next to the pelt peeking out of his shirt.

“Hey, (Name),” he said while leaning against you. You were both in the library. Floyd insisted on accompanying you everywhere, and seemed to be exhausted with how much he was yawning at you. “We should go swimmin,’ I’m bored here.”

You sighed, shutting your notebook. “I have work to do, Floyd.” You spied a couch nearby, “you could take a nap maybe, if you’re tired?” Floyd looked you up and down, before grinning. “Nah.”

He tossed you over his shoulder, and you shouted, making the ghost librarians shush you loudly. “Floyd!” He laughed and ran out before the ghosts could catch him.

He ran you all the way to the back of Mostro Lounge by the private fish tanks, where the tanks for the merfolk were. Finally he put you down, still cuddling you as the blue light from the waters washed over you.

Seeing the tanks, you suddenly remembered Azul talking about a pelt. Your mind flashed to the cloth you picked up from the gym. The skin-like texture. Floyd’s moodiness. The secrecy. You’d heard the word ‘Selkie’ being thrown around before, and you knew Floyd was a mer. The thought hid you like a truck - if the pelt belonged to Floyd, then was he a Selkie? Your heart pounded. And you gave the pelt back to him.

Jade walked in, holding a drink and potion in hand. “Ah, Floyd, you’re back.” Floyd grinned at him, shaking you side to side in his arms, “hey Jade~ me n’ Shrimpy are going to take a swim!” Jade smiled pleasantly, gaze locking onto you. “Could I have a moment with (name), please? It should only take a minute.”

Floyd pouted, but Jade gave him a look. Finally, let you go with a little sulk, but not before giving you a final squeeze. “I’ma be back, Shrimpy!~ Don’t go anywhere!” He flounced off, leaving you with Jade.

Jade handed you the drink and potion. “This is on the house, and this is an underwater breathing potion. I thought you may need one,” he said cryptically. You smiled warily at him, and you dumped the potion into the drink to mix it.

Jade sighed happily. “Mother and Father will be so thrilled.” You sipped your drink, throat feeling dry. “What do you mean?”

Jade continued as if he didn’t hear you, “please be gentle to Floyd. He’s never done this before, but I’ve never seen him so besotted with anything before.” Jade suddenly became serious, looking you in the eye. “You will not hurt him. And you won’t need to worry about him. I assure you, our parents took our lessons quite seriously where courting was concerned. He was always the one to wear his heart on his fins, so to speak. He’s quite romantic at heart, really.”

You nearly choked. “C-courting?!” Jade nodded, slowly grinning mischievously. “Of course. You made your intentions quite clear when you gave Floyd back his pelt. With some lovely courting gifts, no less.” Jade looked fondly at you, patting your shoulder. “You will be a welcome part of the family. Usually gifts such as jewelry come much later in the courting process, but I expect you’ll be betrothed quite soon with how taken Floyd is with you.”

Now you actually choked. “He- what?!” You couldn’t lie, you weren’t exactly upset about Floyd liking you, but courting? This was fast. Jade nodded. If he sensed your growing panic and confusion, he certainly ignored it (or found it entertaining) as he smiled at you. “Yes, he was quite pleased that you were the one who found his pelt. Ah, young love~”

You downed your drink as Floyd bounded back to you, sweeping you up. “Shrimpy~ I’m back!” He’d stripped off his outer garments. His pelt was draped over his shoulders like a towel, and he grinned down at you. “Let’s go~ I’ll keep ya safe, promise!”

As he waded into the waters, you decided to just accept your fate. You reached up and kissed Floyd on the cheek, pressing your face to his gently. He squished you against him as the water rose and his lower half meshed with the pelt, turning back into his eel form.

He rubbed his cheek against yours, “I’m happy you gave me back my pelt, Shrimpy.” You felt Floyd smile against your face, and you hugged him back. “Y’know what? I’m happy too, Floyd.”

THE MAN THE MYTH THE EEL!!! Floyd!!!!!

[rileygorski]

becca king is an observant queen especially to those she loves and while she loves her sister, she’s never been a fan of her taste in men.

there was david, her first boyfriend in college. and while mel was madly in love, becca could see right through the cracks—the man was always late (something she knew mel hated but for some reason always gave an excuse for), he was messy when he stayed over (which, for some reason, included moving her belongings, too). he also treated her like a child most of the time, never letting her cook even though she’s damn good at it. but becca bit her tongue and her cheek because so long as her sister was happy, so was she. after all, their parents passed six months ago and the light was slowly returning to mel’s face.

but her happiness doesn’t last long, two years to the date, and she finds mel in her bedroom wearing the black dress she was supposed to wear for the anniversary dinner, crying in the dark.

becca doesn’t ask, doesn’t say a word and climbs into bed with her. she lets mel cry in her arms and watches as she falls asleep, mascara running down her face. it’s only then does she check mel’s phone to find a chain of messages saying the relationship had ‘run it’s course.’

becca king writes a very strongly worded text and sends it to the man, who only responds with a ‘k’. that asshole.

when her second boyfriend comes around during her 2nd year of med school, gerald, she eyes him like a hawk. he treats becca 10x better than david ever did which she’s grateful for but there’s something off in the three months they’ve been dating. they’re watching the disney movie ‘up’ when she notices it. mel’s a sobbing wreck five minutes in and he’s staring at the screen as if there’s nothing wrong. no comforting touch, no sweet whispers. she’s sure he’s checked his phone twice. the man is completely devoid of human emotion. sweet mel who feels things too intensely sometimes and a man who feels nothing would never work, she thinks. and of course, she’s right. mel breaks up with him after he tells her he loves her and she’s kinda proud about it.

there were a couple other dates, a couple other one month flings but nothing stuck. so her sister devotes her time to prepping for her new job and spending time with becca because—“your happiness is all i need. i’m happy if you are.”

and then frank langdon enters into her life. mel has talked about how everyone was so kind on her first day but she talks about dr. langdon the most. how he’s a great teacher who really pays attention even to the emotional needs of his trainees. mel’s never rambled this much about another person in a long time and becca thinks it could be something good. but the next day mel comes home upset cause “langdon never said goodbye.’ and the urge to start a strongly worded letter intensifies.

she never sends it, instead he enters mel’s life again ten months later, and mel is so damn happy. she’s never seen her this happy since—she can’t even remember. so she lets mel tell her stories about the cases they worked on together all with a massive smile on her face. mel tells her langdon is going through some stuff but as his friend, she wants to help. it’s been a while since her sister has focused her attention on anyone other than her, so becca is more than supportive.

he, quite literally, enters their lives two months later, luggage in tow and dog in a carrier. frank langdon stays the night on their pull out—and for three months after that.

frank makes them breakfast, but sometimes he also lets becca make breakfast—swears her eggs are some of the best he’s ever had. he organizes his shoes at the front door next to theirs and leaves his keys on the hook next to mel’s. they take his dog out for walks every morning at 8AM when he doesn’t work. sometimes his kids will join so they all have a picnic when the whether is nice. she likes frank’s kids—nice, polite and very respectful of her things. they make friendship bracelets and do crosswords together. sometimes they even help her bake cookies and hand them out to her friends at the center.

sometime later, he starts calling mel ‘baby’ and ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darling’ and anything other than her name. mel, whose never been one for pet names even in her longterm relationship—never corrects him. instead she blushes a little hard. smiles a little too wide and answers him every fucking time.

mel insists their still friends when becca teases her about it, nothing more. becca knows just friends don’t look at each other the way they do.

mel and frank work the morning shift, but on one of her days off, mel confides in her about something. tells her that frank will have to leave at some point and they shouldn’t get too attatched. becca wonders if maybe mel was warning herself more than anything else.

still, becca plans for that day. one night, after mel’s come home from a day shift and langdon has the day off, they’re on the couch watching little women (becca’s favorite and one frank’s never seen) when mel falls asleep, head on a pillow in frank’s lap.

“hey, langdon.” she says softly, turning to him. “thanks for making my sister happy.”

he looks up at her with an ‘o’ shaped mouth. blue eyes intensified by the tv lighting. his voice soft, and fingers combing through blonde locks. there’s a dopey grin forming at his face that she’s sure he doesn’t know about. “she makes me happy, too, probably more than she knows.”

becca, unlike her sister, has always been blunt and straightforward. “so why haven’t you kissed her yet?”

and langdon laughs like he’s finally glad someone else notices the question he asks himself at least twice a day. “i don’t..know.” he tells her earnestly

“that’s a dumb reason.” becca replies back almost instantly. laurie is confessing to jo on screen when she says, “don’t keep her waiting—you know she worries.”

mel fusses, and frank leans down to kiss her forehead. it’s close enough, she supposes.

the next morning frank isn’t on the couch but she hears him leave mel’s room at half past 10AM while she’s in the middle of breakfast. his shirt is off, left with just his sweats from the night before. she finds it later on mel, when she walks into the kitchen a couple minutes after him, hair disheveled. becca shoots him a thumbs up when mel has her back turned.

she hears them discuss rent and bills. the calendar mel has at the front door now includes his schedule as well. he’s added as one of people approved to pick becca up at the center. and when mel cries over rewatching ‘up’, he holds her hand, sheds a few tears with her and wipes her tears when it’s all over.

they kiss—a lot. forehead kisses or kisses when one of them leaves for more than five minutes and mel smiles after every single one of them. she’ll look into it later, but she’s convinced kisses have healing properties because mel has never looked so happy, so healthy, so free. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

“i’m glad frank’s the one you found to kiss.” she tells her one night when frank is on the night shift. they’re giggling in her bed like they’re seven again and the world treated them with with a little more kindness. maybe it’s making it’s amends now.

“me too, becca.” and she smirks at her, “thank you. it never would’ve happened without you. you’re the best sister.”

“tell me something i don’t know.” becca quips.

mel’s phone lights up in the dark room, and she doesn’t have to know who it is, her smile gives it away.

she’s glad she doesn’t have to send anymore long text messages.

when he does finally move, they go with him to a brand new condo with three rooms. the couch remains only to be used for movie nights or family time or when another guest decides they want to crash for the night (most of the time it’s trinity needing a break from whitaker and sometimes, it’s whitaker, thanking them for their hospitality while trinity has a friend over for the night)

or, one night, two years into this whole thing.

frank sits becca down on the same couch. he doesn’t even finish a sentence and doesn’t even get to ask her what she thinks of his plan, before becca is jumping on him to pull him into a hug.

“woah, becs, the ring!” he cautions, closing the velvet box shut. when he feels it’s safe, his arms hug her just a little tighter. he can feel the tears on his neck, so he doesn’t pull away until she does.

[sunderwight]

It's so good when Shen Qingqiu takes care of Luo Binghe. In canon and also in fics. I especially am in love with when he does his hair or helps him dress, it's just so pleasantly domestic. Also endearing whenever SQQ gets a bit fanboy-ish about it, because that's Luo Binghe and SQQ can dress him up in every cool or sexy outfit he has a face thick enough to pay someone to actually make!

I wonder if he ever shares this wisdom with Shang Qinghua. Like at some bitching session or other SQH is sighing a bit about how MBJ always wears like the same three outfits, and don't get him wrong they're all great outfits, but he noticed Luo Binghe flaunting yet another fresh look the other day and part of him really wants to see Mobei Jun in something different...

And then Shen Qingqiu is just like, you're the Lord of An Ding Peak, you handle the basic wardrobe necessities for an entire sect? Go pay someone to make cool/sexy outfits and literally put them on Mobei Jun yourself! You're married to the guy, aren't you?

Shang Qinghua is like "wait you can do that? I can do that? that's a thing that's allowed?" and Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes and calls him a dumbass and points out that Airplane himself wrote about the intimacy of Luo Binghe's harem members dressing him and it being an even bigger deal for demons than humans, and Shang Qinghua cannot for the life of him remember this but it does sound sort of familiar. So off he goes to nervously sketch out some ideas for outfits, and then get told off by the seamstress he tries to commission for not having realistic ideas about how fabric works. But he does have Mobei Jun's measurements and after some discussion he gets a bunch of stuff that looks even better than his initial ideas, eventually, and then he just has to... give them to his king...

Shang Qinghua awkwardly presenting the topic to Mobei Jun like he's expecting to get a hard "no", but he blinks and his king is naked and standing expectantly in front of his fancy full-length mirror. Shang Qinghua has only ever helped Mobei Jun get dressed when he was injured in the past, and then usually only just putting his arms through some sleeves on an outer robe. They've undressed each other for sex, but putting the clothes on really is a different kind of intimacy. Especially an outfit that Shang Qinghua had specially made to suit Mobei Jun, to highlight the features he likes best about him. Striking blue and icy-white, with hints of An Ding's colors as accents, showing off his build to full effect, etc etc. Shang Qinghua layers each piece on and then does Mobei Jun's hair too, muttering quiet approval for how the look comes together while Mobei Jun preens under all the attention.

Of course, afterwards Mobei wants Shang Qinghua to dress him every day, which isn't always logistically feasible, and MBJ also intends to return the gesture.

Luo Binghe dresses Shen Qingqiu too of course, but Luo Binghe is aware both that other guys want his husband and also that Shen Qingqiu will refuse to go out in public if Binghe dresses him in anything revealing, even if he still lets him put it on, plus Luo Binghe was raised with human sensibilities about modesty. So all in all any "sexy" outfits are reserved for private time at home, and what he puts Shen Qingqiu in for daily wear is all stuff that is perfectly befitting a Qing Jing Peak Lord and scholar.

Mobei Jun doesn't have human modesty sensibilities and also doesn't see any reason why Qinghua shouldn't show off his own best assets while he's going about his day, so, Shang Qinghua is about to rue the hell out of a lot fashion-related world-building decisions he made a lifetime ago...

[lizthewriter]

billy loomis, stu macher, and poly! headcanons with reader s/o

billy loomis headcanons with reader s/o

• first of all, billy is actually a pretty intelligent guy - cunning, strategic

• it's why he's always so good at chess (not that he's the biggest fan)

• reads lots of books - obviously horrors and thrillers are his favorite

• a bit obnoxious pissy about horror movies

• he will force you to watch horror movies with him - movie night ftw

• he's also a big trivia fan! loves trivia games, especially horror

• he says he doesn't like music, but secretly he listens to pop and motown - you will catch him singing along to marvin gaye and he will never admit that it happened

• has mediocre grades, despite his intellect - school bores him and he doesn't like to listen to what people tell him to do

• speaking of school, people paint him out to be some kind of "bad boy" but really all he is is quiet and reserved

• the only real reason he became friends with tatum, sid, and randy was because they became friends with his childhood best friend, stu

• he and stu are inseparable and they do everything together

• you'll probably end up spending more time at stu's then at billy's because billy doesn't like people coming over to his house

• mostly because of the fact that it's on the poorer side of town, and that everyone thinks that he has the picture-perfect family

• speaking of this so-called "family," he has major abandonment issues because his mother abandoned him and trust issues because his father had an affair and would barely pay him any attention

• both of these also contribute to his protectiveness/possessiveness

• it's not so much that he doesn't trust you around certain people (he does have intrusive thoughts a lot), he doesn't trust other people around you

• but when he does get insecure and starts to think that you'll leave him, it's more from his fear that he's unlovable and a bad s/o

• that's why he would love an s/o that would take care of him and do all those lovey-dovey things, even if he likes to pretend that he's not that fond of it

• holding hands, going on walks together, date/movie nights, staying in together, sleeping in the same bed, he wants ALL OF IT

• once he gets more comfortable around you and trusts you, he'll open up a lot more - you'll find he's really sweet on the inside, and REALLY funny

• no i swear, he has the best sense of humor - dark and dry, the perfect mix

• he's not really into PDA unless someone's trying to get in your pants, in which case all social conventions are dropped and he WILL shove his tounge down your throat

• this man is a great kisser *chef's kiss*

• his sex drive is at a medium, I'd say

• but damn if this mf isn't kinky as shit

• lovesss degrading you, being dominant, definitely has a size kink, knife kink, predator/prey, edging, he eats that shit up

• he barely ever gets subby - like ever, but once in a blue moon he just wants some slow, soft sex (this usually happens when he's feeling insecure)

• he's a boob guy 1000%

• he's not too into foreplay - don't get me wrong, he likes to make out for a little while and he knows you need time to get ready, but as soon as your wet he's already inside you pounding away

• loves missionary 🤭🤭 he likes to watch your reactions and dies every time he elicits a sound from your mouth

• dirty talks the entire time

• he's a multiple rounds kind of guy too - he may not want sex that often, but when he does, he WANTS IT

• not the best at aftercare, but he does pretty well - he'll clean you up, bring you a glass of water, but he really just likes to cuddle and fall asleep right after all that

• watches you while you sleep - he finds that it calms him, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest

• the biggest morning person ever - the definition of a morning person

• by the time you get up, he's already ready for school and prepared you breakfast

• has a nice car - loves to drive you around

• oh and he LOVESSSSS making you flustered, but in more of a conspicuous, secretive way

• will send you those FUCKING EYES in the middle of biology

• oh and if you sit next to each other in class, he'll place a hand on your thigh and rub circles into it

• he just loves to rile you up and watch you get angry at him (it turns him on a lil' bit)

• requires a kiss hi and a kiss goodbye - it doesn't matter where, as long as it's a kiss

stu macher headcanons with reader s/o

• this man is the legal textbook definition of ADHD, if not autism

• he has trouble paying attention, especially in school - somehow gets amazing grades anyways

• class clown - main goal in life is to make everyone laugh

• he likes books but finds it hard to pay attention to the words on the page - he much prefers audio books! the main way he consumes media

• he loves all kind of music, but especially alternative rock and hard rock (alice in chains' biggest fan for sure; loves to sing "them bones" out of nowhere - "man in a box" is his favorite)

• he also loves horror movies but he doesn't get as technical about it as billy - he'll watch all kinds, but he does have favorites

• also a big trivia fan - loves playing trivial pursuit

• remembers random facts (he watched jeopardy chronically as a child)

• he was babied by his parents a lot as a kid, which is why he's so extroverted and wild (*coughcough* rebellious *coughcough*)

• he's bisexual

• he lovesss doing makeup and also he wears crop tops all the time and he looks MAGNIFICENT in them

• he's very creative - loves to come up with stories and draw, but he's not really an artist per say, more like he likes scribbling random things

• his stomach is a black hole - no literally, this man devours the entire kitchen

• DO NOT LET HIM IN THE KITCHEN IF YOU ARE BAKING - he will eat whatever dough you're preparing behind your back

• loves to tease you and make you flustered, but in a very obvious way

• is VERY into PDA and flirting in public; constantly has an arm either slung around your shoulders or waist and will make out with you in front of his locker if you let him

• man has no boundaries

• also he will shower you with affection and treat you like a queen; worships the ground you walk upon

• he. loves. matching. clothes. will cry if you don't wear matching pj's with him

• you will chronically be at his house - he has beautiful puppy eyes, so it's easy to convince you to come over every day

• he loves having you sit in his lap or lay across his chest

• he also lovessss playing with your hair and is actually really good at braiding and all that (he has two older sisters)

• foreplay is his favorite thing in the whole world

• ass, boob, thighs? how about ALL

• absolutely a switch!

• prefers to eat you out and loves to overstimulate you mmmmm

• he has a very high sex drive - oh yeah, he's at it every night

• also prefers missionary, but likes you on your stomach, ass up, fave shoved into the pillows (his only purpose: to fuck you into subspace)

• he's pretty kinky too, but with slight differences from billy - instead of edging he loves overstimulation, rimming, marking, praising

• will make up any excuses to get in your pants and will also ask at the most random times - also, if you have a period doesn't care about it whatsoever, will still have sex with you

• aftercare KING!! he has everything prepared for when your done - he'll clean you up, he'll put the sheets out to be washed, he'll grab water and snacks, cuddle with you, and lay up for hours just talking

• he loves one on one conversations between the two of you, especially at more romantic spots like on the roof and under the stars

• will romance you - coincidentally (not at all) loves valentine's day

• you must give him your upmost attention - he loves ranting to you since you're the only person who listens to him and laughs at his jokes

• you will catch him staring at you with lovesick puppy eyes and he doesn't even care if you notice him, he just has an infinite love for you

poly!billy loomis and stu macher headcanons with reader s/o

• together they are certainly a duo - their personalities really balance them out perfectly

• stu is loud and hyperactive, billy is quiet and reserved

• but stu does bring billy out of his shell and billy reigns stu in when he goes too far - all in all, they make each other better

• you all bang out at stu's house - most of the time, just to chill, but bill insists on weekly movie nights and stu insists on weekly board game nights

• if you're not on good terms with your family, stu's welcomes you in like you're their own kid (billy had basically been their son for years)

• billy loves halloween and while stu loves halloween, he's also a big christmas person as well

• stu really just loves holidays and anything that gets them off of school

• whatever shenanigans stu is up to, billy pretends to dislike it but he goes along for a reason, doesn't he? he kind of likes indulging in stu

• they love taking you on car rides around town

• stu buys you all matching shirts and pj's, much to billy's horror

• stu is just constantly buying the two of you random shit

• "i saw this and it reminded me of you guys!"

• usually the way sleeping together works is stu is on the left, you're laying across half of his ches, and billy is on your right with his arm slung around your waist

• stu is constantly warm (why he has his shirt off half the time) and billy had cold hands (will place them unprovoked on the back of your neck)

• if you bake, they work together to steal your dough and eat it

• oh my god, if you go somewhere to get clothes, they will be trailing right behind you and wait for you outside the dressing room to out their two cents in

• billy was kind of dragged along - he truly thinks you look good in anything no matter what, but stu actually offers you good fashion advice

• "hmm . . . no, that red really isn't your color - they have that dress in a blue you look good in, why don't I go grab it for you?"

• billy and stu make sure your birthday is really special

• their goal is just to make you feel loved, accepted, and respected in general

• together, they are both VERY possessive over you, however - so PDA is a must

• they will make it plainly clear to everyone that you are THEIRS and not to be touched

• constant sex - no seriously, be prepared

• I've already made it clear what they both like individually

• but, yes, they both love to tease you - foreplay is a must, and they'll draw it on for a while to get you desperate

• most of the time, they're both dominant in the bedroom, but I can see you and billy turning the table on a subby stu (or in the case of billy being a sub, soft sex with all three of you)

• they are both brat-tamers, but stu's the nicer one

• however, billy is a bit of a brat sometimes (will never admit it but he would die to be punished by you and stu)

• they're both into bondage . . . I think that was a given

• hours and hours and HOURS

• also everywhere. in the kitchen, on the couch, in the bedroom, hell, in the bathroom, they will take you EVERYWHERE

• like I said, they're both pretty good at aftercare

• they love to spend time with you and cuddle - billy likes to trace your skin with his finger, especially your back, while stu likes to play with your hair

• you will fall asleep together like this

• stu would probably be the first person to say "I love you"

• it might take a while, but billy will too eventually

• they just want all of you to be happy and that's all that matters :)

[donutz]

Hii I wanted to ask you if you can make a yandere smiling critters x shy female smiling critter cat reader?

I love how you write, good job! If you can't place the order, I will understand💕

Sorry if I wrote something wrong, English is not my first language.😭

I'll do your request, just might take a while! Also, thank you ^_^! Your English is just fine :)

Yandere Smiling Critters x shy female Smiling Critters cat reader

Honk shoooo..

Honk shoooooo……

Honk— “Kitty! It's time ta wake up!!” Kickin said, hey, you can't sleep for too long, you have to deal with the kids. You almost flinched from Kickin's loud approach. You were slowly waking up, fastly blinking and then looking like you'll go to sleep again. “C'mon!!” He put his wing on your face.

“Kickin, I'm awake. Please.” You whisper. Gently putting your paw on his wing. He raised his eyebrows a bit from that. He smiled, and took your paw with both of his wings, softly yanking you so you can get up quicker.

You were a little sloppy, so you stood up (while sitting) and lazily leaned on Kickin. “Oof– ... At least you're up…”

The other critters were all discussing today's activity while you were (kind of) cuddling with Kickin. 

Bobby Bearhug came up to you and started cuddling with you. Now having two Smiling Critters on both of your sides!

“So, whaddya think Kitty?!” Dogday said, catching your attention. You were still tired and not processing things, so you have no idea what he meant.

“... Huh?” The critters started laughing from your oblivious sound. Dogday was laughing too, “I mean— heh, I mean what do you think about t-today’s activity..?” You were much more awake for what he said, “Oh um. I— I think it’s nice…” You muttered.

“Great!”

The children were all awake, happy(most of them) and bright(mostly). You were stepping out of the critters’ room, while holding paws with Bobby as she was explaining the main activity.

“So, do you have it now?” She asked you, thankfully you were actually paying attention this time.

“Um. Yea..” You whispered. You weren’t much of a talkative one, but that’s okay.

Some would say you were like Craftycorn, but more shy. You try to ignore those comparisons. The kids were eating their breakfast, and Bobby was still next to you.

You had to watch the kids, because just in case a kid was choking, you needed to get them to not choke. The other critters would handle the other kids and calm them down. The other critters mostly being Dogday and Bobby.

While Bobby was sitting right next to you, holding your paw, just talking about what it was like dealing with the children's emotions, while her head was on your shoulder.

A few feet away, there were some jealous critters looking at you two. “I wanna hold Kitty’s paw…” Picky said. “Me too..” Kickin added.

Dogday saw their envious mood and went over to them. “It’s okay guys, there’s no need to be jealous!” He looked over at you two.

Yea he sees no reason to be jealous. This is because he is an adult! Well it was a headcanon, and to be honest with you, it seems like a really good headcanon. Basically he was an employee at Playtime co.

And to be honest with you, AGAIN, a grown adult being jealous over two kids being kids, is VERY strange ^_^. Anywho, back to the story (⌒‿⌒)

Dogday didn’t get it! He doesn’t understand. (NO SHAME FOR MY BABY!!!!!)

The kids were done eating, and now they all were doing the activity. If you were wondering what this mystery activity is, it’s about sleep and rest.

The kids thought it was going to be boring, who wants to talk about sleeping?? But the critters wanted to talk about how good it is to get some shut eye after a long day of being awake.

Maybe it could also help Catnap with the kids falling asleep.

All the Smiling Critters were grouped together, doing actions and spouting words on why sleep is good for you.

“See?! Kickin here is all tired and sleepy (he was doing an action to represent it), not able to really do anything!”

“It is also not good for your health!”

“But Catnap is all nice and rested! Being able to walk, talk, and color while being fully awake.”

“Not getting enough sleep isn’t good for anybody! Not adults, little kids like you guys, or even teens! If you get the sleep required, you’re able to get work done quicker, be able to color, and many activities can be done!”

“Even fun activities! Drawing, doing sports, playing games, all of those things can be done in a more fun way, just by getting a few hours of sleep!”

Bubba was able to communicate with the children in a more interesting way, not a lot of them were bored from his statements. 

“Any questions?” Bubba asked, some kids raised their hands, showing their curiosity about sleep.

“What happens if I don’t sleep?”

“Well… If you don’t sleep, your body can’t operate very well. It’s like your bed is the charger, and you need that charger in order to get through the day! Some say.. If you don’t get sleep for too long, your brain.. Can eat itself!!!” He said, getting the kids all hyped up.

“Well I guess I should get some sleep!!” One kid said.

“Yea! I don't want my brain to eat itself!!” Another wailed.

“Mhm! And so you can learn about it, if you want to, I have a word search!”

The children started grabbing the papers, wanting to know some words about sleep.

“I also have something you could decode! For the kids who want to challenge their brain!”

The kids were all doing something, word searches, talking to the critters to get more facts about rest, decoding, at least an activity that can distract them.

You and Catnap were walking around, helping any of the kids, and also calming them down if they got frustrated.

You two were just being cuddly kitties.

You were pretty sure the other critters(minus Dogday) were holding back from just cuddling up to you too.

Apparently they had to help with the kids….

[morlock-holmes]

Have you seen the recent PhilosophyTube video on Nietzche? If so, what's your opinion as someone who's read him?

I'm not an expert in Nietzche, who wrote a lot of stuff, but I have fairly recently read the Walter Kaufmann translations of The Geneology of Morals and Ecce Homo, and less recently Beyond Good and Evil.

But I hadn't seen that video... Listening to it while grocery shopping...

It's a shocking bit of philosophical malpractice and intellectual dishonesty so breath-taking that I hardly know where to start.

Unfortunately I left the copy of Genealogy of Morals/Ecce Homo that I've been reading in my work locker, but, like, okay, in order to build her picture of Nietzche she has to assert that his overt dislike of the Jews is central to his philosophy, but that his overt dislike of Anti-Semites is some kind of incidental grudge that he didn't actually mean.

But if we are going to do that, if we are going to dismiss much of what he says in his published work, then why not do the opposite? Why not assert that his anti Jewish rhetoric is the incidental expression of petty grudges while the anti-Anti-Semite rhetoric is central to his philosophy?

Once we start building an approach to Nietzche that assumes that enormous chunks of his published work can simply be ignored as incidental to his philosophy, then, like, what the fuck are we doing here?

One immediate thing you have to deal with pretty immediately when looking at Nietzche is, "Why does a German who hurled some brickbats at the Jews hurl even MORE brickbats at Reichsdeutsche and Anti-Semites?"

Like, I cannot emphasize enough how much time he spends attacking the German character in Beyond Good and Evil and The Genealogy of Morals. Way, way WAY more than he spends attacking Jews.

The idea that Elizabeth Forster-Nietzche is somehow responsible for the belief that Nietzche said anti-Jewish things is flat out insane.

Like, he says anti-Jewish stuff in writings that he published himself.

And so when someone sort of tries to rebut that idea I get this kind of suspicion that what they are actually going to do is claim that anti-Jewish stuff is more central to his works than people think, and that conversely the anti-Anti-Semite and anti-Reichsdeutsche rhetoric is less central.

I am kind of struggling to explain why I find that suspect. I think people have sort of said, "He can't have actually meant everything he said about Jews, Germans and Anti-Semites, so we need to figure out which parts he actually meant and which are just kind of in there for no reason" and in my opinion if you read what he actually put in his books (Assuming, of course, that the translations I've read are accurate) this is not necessary, and if you think it is necessary, I feel you haven't been paying attention.

I have no idea if Nietzche considered "the Jewish question", I certainly do not have an encyclopedic knowledge of his letters and personal notes; I will say I cannot bring to mind anything in Beyond Good and Evil or The Geneology of Morals which touches on it. He is deeply skeptical as to whether the Germans can produce greatness.

It's true that he is not an egalitarian, he does not believe people are equal, and for that reason he believes that Democracies and egalitarian societies in general cannot function, that part is actually true as stated.

He's also deeply sexist in the most boring way imaginable. Like, the funny thing is that people keep writing these take-downs about him that try to reveal his reactionary roots gloss over this? Like, what's the first thing you'd imagine a sexist man from the 1870s would say? Like, and do not overthink it, just, like, imagine what a hack writer would put in the mouth of a sexist character in a mediocre adventure novel for 12 year old girls. Because Nietzche probably says it in Beyond Good and Evil.

The idea that he is pro-Eugenics is, okay, first of all actually listen to the quote she uses and you'll find that it doesn't actually say what she says it does. The idea that every thought is based on the nature of the organism that produces it is merely materialism. And I really want to know what she means by "eugenics" because Nietzche overtly and explicitly thinks Darwin is wrong.

I admit that this doesn't recommend him as a scientist but this is a man who says, I believe in Ecce Homo, that anybody who thinks that the Ubermensch is some kind of more evolved human in a darwinian sense hasn't been paying attention. Like he just explicitly says the idea is ludicrous and incorrect.

The description of master vs. slave morality is not exactly wrong, but is incomplete, and the criticism that it isn't historically accurate is kind of... it's not wrong so much as, off? Like, imagine I'm talking about "High Control Groups" and I assert that "High Control Groups will often exercise extreme control over their adherents relationships, discouraging relationships with outsiders"

Would you be like, "Wait, which group is he talking about? When in history did that happen?"

Like, I'm describing a type, not writing history.

So, to go way back Nietzche is extremely concerned with the question of why we value certain things. Master Morality and Slave Morality are two contrasting sets of values.

He says he hit on the idea from linguistic studies.

So, what does "Noble" mean? Well, according to Googles dictionary it means, "having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals".

But of course it also means, "belonging to a hereditary class with high social or political status; aristocratic."

Okay, and what's a Villain? Well, a bad guy, someone who does bad things. Etymologically, it also comes directly from the word "Villein" which in medieval times referred to a kind of serf.

Nietzche claimed that in all the languages he studied this same division took place, that words which referred to the upper classes that ran society began to become synonymous with "good" and words which referred to the lower classes began to become synonymous with "bad".

So, Master morality, Nietzche believes, essentially comes from the characteristics of the upper classes, especially those with military power. Essentially, because these people have power they begin to think of what they do as "Good". Behaving in the way a member of the noble classes should behave is "Good"; "Bad" is the failure to behave as a noble should.

So, for example, to most Greeks hearing the Illiad, the Trojans and the Greeks were both "Good" in this sense. The fact that they made war on each other doesn't change that, because the nobility on both sides acted in the ways nobility ought to act.

So, a positive conception of "Good" comes first, and "Bad" is essentially what is in contrast to "Good" what happens when you have failed to be "Good".

Slave morality also descends from social position. The lower classes (Including literal slaves) sort of come at morality backwards. They start with a conception not of "Good" but of "Evil".

"Evil" is that which is done to us against our will by those classes that tower above us. If you are a king, and I am a king, and you raise an army against me, well, I just raise an army right back, and even though we contend, we contend as equals.

If you are the king and I am a slave, you can just, like, beat me and there's not a lot I can do.

So I call that beating "Evil" and then I imagine what the opposite would be and call that good. The upper classes are assertive, so I say that this is evil and that meekness is good. The upper classes are rich, so I make a virtue of poverty (This is somewhat of an oversimplification).

"Evil" comes first, and "Good" is understood as "Whatever the opposite of Evil is".

The thing is, what Nietzche is most concerned and critical about here is not weakness. What concerns him more is that, in his mind, slave morality promotes ressentiment and vengefulness.

Like, Christian morality promotes meekness, poverty, and humility.

But it simultaneously promises that all of that will go away in Heaven. If you are poor now, you will be rich in Heaven; if you are humble now, in Heaven you will be elevated above all others who will have to writhe in hell. In the afterlife, rather than peace, the people you hate now will be subjected to infinite violence.

One of the things that Nietzche seems to admire in Master Morality is the absence of grudges. If someone wrongs you, or slights you, you fight back, and the fact that you are able to exert yourself against them means that you don't need to hold a grudge, you contend with things in the moment, and that having been done it is not necessary to hold a grudge.

Now, to me, if Nietzche is a man who is mostly hostile to systems of morality that are extremely moralizing on the surface but whose actual primary drives are grudges, ressentiment and fantasies of infinite vengeance, then... like... German Anti-Semitism qualifies just like he says it does, yeah? We don't need to reach for something outside his writings to explain why he criticizes it, he has given us perfectly plausible reasons within his own writing.

And so if you feel the need to dismiss those perfectly comprehensible reasons he gives, and reach for something else... I don't know, it makes me very suspicious that you haven't been paying close attention to what he actually published.

That was an enormous ramble and it still doesn't really encapsulate all of my issues with that video.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Can they match your freak? 👀 Think of a person that you're interested in, then pick the picture that you feel drawn to the most to find the corresponding message about how the sexual chemistry would be like between you guys.

Paid Readings | Botanica | Tip Jar

Pile One

The person on your mind comes across as formal, polite, but not interested in being in everyone’s face or being the center of attention. They could be considered a bit odd, maybe the timeline in which their beliefs, speech, and hobbies are not common in their age group. They could be assumed as a nerd because of how serious they take most things, like if you were to joke with them or use sarcasm, they’ll turn what’s not supposed to be literal into something pragmatic which is kind of cute in an innocent way. But they’re not rude or dismissive, because if you stick with them long enough they’ll eventually catch up with your sense of humor, even if the jokes don’t land, the fact that they’re trying makes it hilarious. They’re great at guiding people and teaching someone without looking down on others. They could come from a big family and are actually really nurturing and considerate which leaves them feeling more selective with who they choose to be their friend or romantic partner, and are content with spending a lot of time alone. They’re really “slow moving”, they don’t like to be rushed in anything, and for a good reason. They don’t like to compromise their stability, and love to have a work-life balance, even if they are an overachiever.

When it comes to doing the deed, it feels like intimacy is heightened because it feels as if you’re with a whole different person. Their sexual energy feels electric and eccentric. I feel like they’re a music junkie. They’re a lover of all genres, but pay attention mostly to the artists and bands that don’t get a lot of appreciation. I keep picking up on music theory, which could of course hint more about what they like to learn about, but I see this more as them effortlessly knowing the right note, the right rhythm, and the right scale to successfully lead their partners into an orgasm. They’re absolutely magical with their fingers, but feral with their stamina. They’re competitive when it comes to showing their partner who can go round for round, and they’re determined to make sure they’re at the top. Speaking of top, they love to be dominant in the bedroom. Their sex talks chains and whips! Just kidding, but it’s an art for them to see the many ways in how pain brings their partner pleasure. They’re down for almost anything in sex, as long as it’s consensual. Outdoor sex could be a favorite of theirs. Should you have sex with them? I feel that sex with them will be better than anything if you’ve had with anyone else, which can be addictive. Make sure that the relationship is something solid with this person, if it’s a situationship, it can be problematic, especially around issues with possessiveness, unhealthy attachments, and a lack of boundaries.

Pile Two

Sol cherubs…I’m sorry but I’m going to have to roast this person. I feel like they’re the kind to wine and dine a person. Dinner dates are nice, yes, but this person is very cheap, and likes to do the bare minimum while thinking that the other party should give them something back in return. They talk themselves up a lot, and could even get carried away with dirty talk in the bed because THEY think they’re doing something. Like this person could think that they’re a total freak, but their sex talks vanilla…They do basic positions, they’re repetitive, which is not the problem, the problem is that it’s not doing anything for the other person, and the only thing freaky about them is their gross personality. They’re self-serving, it’s not to say that you can’t experience pleasure with this person in sex, but if you expect for them to care about making sure that you finish too, don’t. They’re cheap with their wallet and in the bedroom. DO NOT have sex with this person, you won’t feel satisfied, and their energy in general is creepy and the epitome of what a loser looks like. If they’re a man, they have a toxic patriarchal mindset, weak in reality, but prowls for individuals who they think that they can control. They’re an energy vampire. Sex is an ego booster for them. It excites them more when they come across a person who’s strong in personality, or harbors a lot of potential to be a star, so that they can seduce them in order to feel better about themselves.

Sex should be an equal thing, where both parties are respected, having fun, and feeling good. You should both feel empowered rather than seeing it as taking power from another person. I’m also getting the feeling that this could be a past person for certain individuals. The message is also for you guys to know that sex isn’t supposed to be a shameful thing either if you’re still in regret about giving it to the wrong individual or even individuals. You’re not less of a person because you had sex so don’t let anyone try to punish you for it, and that includes yourself. Heal the negative beliefs you have about sex within yourself by not seeing yourself as a body count, limiting yourself to people who don’t satisfy you, and to trust in yourself to keep your stance in not doing something if you don’t want to just because someone gave you something and speaking up about what you want and how you want to be treated.

Pile Three

The person on your mind is spontaneous. You could play hard to get with them on the outside, but on the inside they’re very alluring to you, and lowkey they know this. Your chemistry in general with this person is breathtaking, if you aren’t a couple, people wonder why you aren’t one yet because of how close you guys are with each other and how obvious your attraction towards one another is. There’s heavy sexual tension here, partly because of how racy things get when you guys flirt with each other or how compatible you guys are to the point where you feel comfortable just yapping about almost anything, and the other part being the elephant in the room, which is something just feels forbidden about this relationship. Maybe this is a coworker which I understand why it wouldn’t be appropriate. You could consider this person a goofball, someone you always have fun with, or can count on to put a smile on your face, but the friendship between you guys is strong. Y’all get each other emotionally and are generally supportive, I would be shocked if you guys weren’t best friends. I’m not even picking up their individual sexual energy, my intuition just keeps pointing to how it would be if you guys were to ever have an encounter. I just keep getting “yes, yes!, YES!” go for it with this person, because it doesn’t feel at all like something you would regret. Ya’ll complete each other in so many ways that it just feels right. The sexual chemistry would be stable, you wouldn’t get bored of each other because it brings you guys closer rather than apart. This won’t be for everyone, but some people in the pile might have a theme of knowing right then and there that this is the person that they would want to spend the rest of their life with. Be wary though if you aren’t in the position of wanting to have kids or having enough to support a child, because you guys are going to be on each other like rabbits.

[neillewismybabydaddy]

the xxx section

summary: your just a girl with a bad history of sex and a love for porn, but for some reason a certain Neil Lewis decided to shut down that love.

Neil Lewis x fem!reader

warnings: smut, penetration, unprotected sex, public sex.

word count: 1.8k

—————————————————————————

This day was a different day. you’ve grown tired of your usual porn collection which was great but a bit tragic at times knowing, no man has touched you like that. Hey, it’s not like you haven’t ever, you have but just sort of boring. Either they have touched you on ur labia and have asked SERIOUSLY if you that was your clit, or for some reason, treat you like an absolute body bag and would slam you onto the bed as if you were some sort piece of wood. Porn has been your friend for a while now, concocting fantasies in your brain that was certainly to far gone from reality. A man will never know what you like, how you like or what they will do to make it better. It’s not like you haven’t told them. Some guys you will tell them how much you’ve NOT enjoyed it and then they run away onto the next poor victim. At some point, you even considered women.

“give me peace and grace lord.” you though while walking into this cute little movie store called Gumshoe video. You saw this cheesy ad and heard around they had XXX videos so you knew it was time to find some more variety. You walk in and see this nerdy-looking man with the haircut of Michael Moscovits from The Princess Diaries. He was very handsome but now was not the moment to pay attention to that, you had a mission to complete.

“welcome to gumshoe video!” the man says peeking up as finally someone walked in to this very empty store. “can I help you find anything? we are doing a 2 for 1 sale for all jungle adventures movies.” he said.

“oh no, i’m good just came to look around.” you said. of course you had to hold some dignity, this was not looking around for anything, this was looking around for porn. You spot the xxx sections in the far back, out of sight from the entrance or the cashier box. You walk over, smoothly and calmly as if you were looking for a move for family night. They knew what they were doing with setting it back up here, i’ll tell you thank god for this little corner.

You begin to look through the neatly displayed rack of complete nasty DVD’s and VHS’s. How ironic how nicely these are racked while the actual contents aren’t all that nice. You chose out a couple that interested you, and they were perfect. Tonight was gonna be a great night, very sorry to the neighbors.

You walked up to the counter and set the array of DVD’s and VHS’s that could possibly get you beaten down emotionally but hey, TITS UP. The man looked at the DVD’s and VHS’s and was a bit thrown off, he didn’t know you were that kind of girl. You were pretty with gorgeous eyes and a beautiful body, so once he saw this, he didn’t know if this was a good thing or bad thing.

“Did you find everything okay?” he said

“Everything was perfect, thank you for asking.” you replied, seeming unbothered.

“My name is Neil, Neil Lewis I own the store.” he said abruptly while ringing you up.

“Hi Neil Lewis… Im Y/N” you responded, why would he ask you for your name? Is he trying to make a tab on me to his secret spy friends, what is he trying to do?

“Can I get your phone number?” he asked, like as if it’s okay to ask someone their number while they are buying porn.

“Are you hitting on me?” what is he trying to get at?

“I’m just trying to make you an account so I can keep track of your…. videos.” he replied. “But if you want to think I am hitting on you, then by all means, you are an attractive lady.” he retorted.

Is this really a good moment to get hit on? This could either be really good and an open door to see if a nerdy guy that owns a video store can make ur fantasies come true or are they gonna be just like the other guys but you know what, fuck it.

“You are not too bad yourself, Neil Lewis.” are you really doing this right now or is this a super bad idea?

“Hey, I have a XXX movie theater in the back. Do you wanna test drive these bad boys?” he said with the look of hopefulness but also embarrassment.

You face turned bright red. Where did this guy get off asking girls if they wanna go to his porn movie theater. It’s odd for sure, but you’re intrigued. This could lead into many things but you are really hoping for just one outcome. “Sure, but make sure to lock the door behind you so nobody walks in.” you said stoically.

“Oh yea for sure, I was planning on locking up the store anyways. It’s getting a bit late.” Neil in reality, had planned to get his friends over to watch some noir film. He definitely had other things planned right about now.

He was staring at your ass, you felt it at the back of your neck. Someone was staring and it was none other than that horny bastard, Neil Lewis. As you walked in, you sat down and he walked past to put in the DVD he had chosen ‘Naughty Girls Fight 4’, very embarrassing but intriguing and arousing for sure. He sat back down next to you and swiftly put his arm around you as if y’all were gonna watch some sort of Disney movie.

The film began and as it kept playing, you, of course, became hot and bothered. Who wouldn’t be, you have an attractive man with his arm around you watching a raunchy porno. The moans of the women in utter pleasure, the squelching sounds of the sex, the tension between you and this attractive man, it was all coming together.

You turned your head to face Neil, he looked like he was holding on with every ounce of his body to not jump and absolutely ravish you. So you’re now stopping yourself Neil Lewis, you were the one to ask me to go to your cramp porno theater. With this, you just decided to go for it.

You moved your hand to rub his cock through his jeans. He took in a big but quick inhale, as if he wasn’t expecting this. You kept going and began to kiss his neck, and using your other hand to caress the hand over your shoulder. He was breathing heavy and was slowly tipping over the edge.

Suddenly, he grabbed your hand that was on his cock and looked at you, “Are we really gonna do this here?” he said.

“Why not.” you replied.

He grabbed your face and pulled you into a rough kiss as if he was hungry for you, like some sort of feral animal. You kissed him back, making sure to keep on rubbing his cock through his pants. He slowly crept his hands up to your chest to squeeze your boobs and you pushed into him more, becoming more and more needy for him.

You stood up unfortunately but necessarily to take off your shirt and jean shorts, exposing your underwear which thankfully today, your usual granny panties weren’t clean so you had to wear a more revealing pair of lingerie. He ogled at you as if you were some sort of statue in the Louvre, completely entranced. You felt appreciated for once, like not some sort of meat but a sexy ass woman. He stood up as well and took off all of his garments and sat back down in just his boxers.

You walked over and sat on his lap and began to kiss him yet again. You could definitely feel his imprint and it made you even more needy. He got a little grabby and began to fondle your ass which made you start to hump him, getting that stimulation on your heat and making you moan in his mouth. He was absolutely loving how lewd all of this was. He began to guide your hips on his lap to continue both your stimulation.

It gradually became faster and longer humps. In a moment, he stopped your hips forcefully, “Get up and take the rest off.”. You stood up and took off the rest to show off your body and he took off his boxers. His member sprung out and was bright red and leaking “Sit on it, darling.” he said.

“Yes, sir.” you said giggly, excited to finally get some good sex.

You sat back down on his lap and aligned yourself with his cock. He slowly entered you. “Holy fuckin shit.. it’s spreading me wide open.” you exhaled. He bucked his hips up, causing you to gasp.

“Take it darling, isn’t it so good…” he said in a breathy manner. You did not expect this to be your Saturday evening. You continued to bounce on his hard cock, making the same squelching sound that every porno makes when having sex. All your fantasies were coming true in this one moment.

“Deeper..” you said, needing your insides to be explored in its deepest places.

“You got it darling” he said with assurance. He picked you up and placed you on the char, facing away from the front the theater with your knees on the seat. You held the back of the chair with dear life. He then, entered you yet again, hitting your deepest places. You moaned loudly, feeling him in your belly.

“Oh my god, it’s perfect, please… just keep going Neil.” you said desperately. You couldn’t get enough of him or this moment. You gasp for air and moan, “it’s so good… mmmhm..” you try to say but in reality, it’s just blabber.

“I’m getting close my sweet..” he said breathlessly. You didn’t want this to end, it’s like his cock was built for your vagina.

“Im gonna cum Neil.. mmhm” you push out. that high you’ve been trying to chase all these years, you’re getting without the help of a vibrator or dildo. “Cumming… Neil…” You cum all over his cock, making it very wet and creamy.

“I’m there Y/N…ughh” he takes out his cock and releases on your back, but breathing hard and continuing to recollect each other. “I wish you could see what I see Y/N.” he says while smiling, happy that it happened.

You both then, realize that the porno has ended already and y’all didn’t even notice from how loud this encounter has been. “Naughty Girls Fight 4 isn’t anything worth fighting for, im guessing.” he says jokingly.

“Yea of course, I have you now. I can’t let go of you that quick.” you reply.

At least your neighbors aren’t gonna be hearing raunchy porn as much anymore.

—————————————————————————

first time writing! do we like it? do you wanna read more, please send me reqs or i’ll just keep on making up shit in my head. this was much more vanilla then what i was hoping to come out with but it was just a sweet night but yk i’ll keep on tried!

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 1 . Horrible Intuition - Cale/Reader

notes: I'll try to update this once a week

tags: mild cursing

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Kim Rok Soo’s knowledge about the new world he is in was all from the novel titled ‘Birth of a Hero’. That and whatever he had read in his study at the Henituse castle.

So when those reddish-brown eyes of his landed on an unknown figure that looked important, he was confused. Good thing Eric Wheelsman has his back, aware that his dongsaeng is not up to date in whatever’s going on in the capital.

“I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them but that’s _____ Perduellio, known as Roan Kingdom's Medicus[1], and they are a northeasterner too. They have been adopted by the Perduellio family who is aligned with the Gyerre Duchy.”

The person in question was busy running around healing whoever they could. They were wearing a white robe that reminded Cale of Ancient Greece or Egypt[2]. However, this one looks more luxurious as unnecessary details have been added such as gold linings, sash, beads, and crystals.

Despite all those details what caught Cale Henituse's attention was not their clothing. Rather, the number of guards they have following them.

“It is said that they have a weak body so they have guards everywhere. The story was that the Perduellio couple encountered _____ on the streets when they were 4 years old and immediately felt a connection that’s why they were adopted. Then 5 years later, they manifested a healing ability that seems to be a blessing from the Sun God. Oh, they can also perform small light tricks. In fact, I think they were supposed to showcase some of it today.”

Midway through Eric’s words Cale had stopped paying attention. Instead, he observes the adopted Perduellio. Eric might say that the guards are there for _____’s safety, but to the redhead, it looks as though they are guarding a criminal.

‘Oh well it’s not like I’ll meet them anytime so not my problem’

…Cale spoke too soon.

After the plaza incident, Crown Prince Alberu requested for that very same person to be Cale’s healer. It was to strengthen that image of the crown providing the young master of the Henituse County with the best as he recovered. 

While Cale understands and agrees with the intention, he has a hunch that this decision will smack him in the back later.

“Don’t worry young master, I know all information about young master _____ and have deemed them safe! Actually, the second child of the Perduellio family is said to be something akin to an unofficial maiden of the Sun God. The only reason it’s unofficial is because they are not officially affiliated with the Sun God Church as the Perduellio’s said their health would not be able to handle it.”

Cale, who is now relaxed and lying down on a bed meant for foreign officials, became a bit interested in this fact. Even though the Roan Kingdom has no official religion, families would still consider it a great honour if one of their relatives were deemed a saint or a holy maiden.

“The young master also doesn’t have to worry about political battles. Even though the Perduellios support the third prince, young master _____ is known for not taking any political sides. This is especially true when it comes to helping those in need. It is also why the young master is famous even with the common people.”

What Hans said brought some relief to Cale’s mind. He already has enough on his plate and he doesn’t want to add to it by joining a political strife. But even if he did he’s sure he could make the crown prince act as his shield. 

Hans finishes his report by saying that Cale is to be healed 2 times before the King gathers everyone and makes a proclamation. Each session will last up to 30 minutes only. This was because the crown prince insisted that no guard shall enter Cale’s room while _____ is healing him. The limited time is the Perduellio County’s compromise as they reasoned they don’t want _____ to become sick.

“Humans are odd, why are they healing other people when they are sick? Well, you weak human also save people when you are weak yourself…”

Cale pays no attention to the black dragon’s ramblings in his head as he observes _____ who has come to heal him. 

“That’s odd, I thought the guards were for that human’s safety. Why do they look more relaxed now that those guards are gone?”

He can’t hear anything. Cale can’t hear anything. Blah. Blah. Blah.

He doesn’t need to know any more unnecessary details that might potentially hinder his slacker life. He has already heard too much about the crown prince, no need to find out secrets about this healer that weren’t even mentioned in the book.

However, he can’t deny that the guards are acting odd. They are too strict with the time, and instead of it looking like they are worried. To Cale, it looks as if Roan's Medicus is a prisoner who’s granted limited visiting time.

During the two sessions everyone, Cale and the children averaging 7 years old, could tell that the healer knew that Cale was fine and didn’t need to be healed. This is more prominent by how the only thing they seem to be doing is removing Cale’s stomachache from eating while lying down and replenishing his energy.

Speaking of replenishing his energy.

The Vitality of the Heart works wonders when it comes to keeping Cale in tip-top condition 24/7. However, _____ makes him feel more refreshed. Every time the healer replenishes his energy he feels as though he has taken a particularly good bath. As if he was soaking in freshwater where the temperature was just right. 

Weird considering that their power is supposed to be from the Sun God.

“Human this is weird! That human seems to be using a new power, but don’t worry this great and mighty being can tell that it isn’t dangerous!”

Maybe if Cale tries really hard enough then he will not hear unnecessary comments that can jeopardise his slacker life…

“This is our last session correct?”

“Yes, uhm as you already know young master Cale, this will be the last time I get to officially check on you. You seem to be fine now but try to rest if you can. I heard that you’re going sightseeing in the Ubarr territory, I hope the sea can help you relax.”

Their soft and gentle voice along with tempting words about resting, slacking off in Cale’s vocabulary, sounded like music to the young man’s ears. Unfortunately, his itinerary in the Ubarr territory doesn’t line up with the doctor’s prescription.

“Really weird… Now that I pay more attention to it, they kinda smell like you human…”

But first, Cale is going to pretend to be deaf for his sanity…

Also, smell? Again? Just what does he smell like? First, it was the crown prince, then it was this baby dragon. Why does everyone have questions regarding smell?

In any case, it’s not like they’ll meet again right?

Wrong again! 

Cale was unfortunate enough to encounter the healer again while they were in the Dubori territory of the Caro Kingdom. Poor Cale was planning to pretend he didn’t see anything. But since his luck seemed negative, they made eye contact as soon as he thought of his great plan.

Well, it’s only right to properly greet his healer back in the capital right?

“I didn’t expect to see you here young master _____ much less without guards.”

“Ah no young master Cale, I still have them. They are just currently changing shifts so I have a few minutes to myself.”

A few minutes to themself… Perduellio’s adopted child said in their usual soft, gentle, and almost inaudible voice that Cale wouldn’t have caught it if they weren’t in close proximity. Cale had known since back at the capital how soft-spoken _____ was but didn’t expect that it would be this difficult to hear them.

However, he still caught and heard those words.

Words that again, sound as though there’s more to _____ than being the precious adopted child of the Perduellio’s family.

“However young master Cale, you look as though you are going beyond the territory walls. Please be careful as I’ve read about a phenomenon occasionally happening there.”

“What could that be?”

“I’ve read in an ancient text that dead mana rises there sometimes, but no one knows when it happens…”

_____ suddenly stopped speaking as they noticed a few things:

Their guards are coming over, and;

Tasha caught their eye

“Oh seems like my guards are here. Also, I would like to apologise as I didn’t realise…”

The usual prim and proper _____ is now rushing to get back to their guards making Cale unable to hear the last bit of their sentence. 

Good thing the invisible black dragon did.

“Human! That weird human knows that Tasha is a Dark Elf! While they were bowing to you I heard them say ‘I would like to say sorry as I didn’t realize you have a Dark Elf with you’.”

What now? Cale couldn’t comprehend how _____, whose supposed power was only healing and light magic tricks could know. So he asked Tasha if any nobles knew about her.

“Me as a Dark Elf? No way young master, that’s like asking for a death sentence. However, I am a bit close to Perduellio’s blessed child. Even though they are blessed by the Sun God, their healing powers don't have any purification in them.”

Safe to assume that _____ has known about Tasha for quite a while now but hasn’t said anything.

Cale can feel an additional headache coming. He has a hunch that this would be far from the last time he deals with that healer.

And wouldn’t you know…

Not even a day later Cale encounters _____ again. This time it’s in the most unlikely place you’ll see a child of the Sun God would be. 

The City of the Dark Elves.

Or the City of Life as they named it.

It was a peaceful morning, their stay in the City of Life was extended because of the dead mana rising. Despite that, Cale didn’t mind as he planned to take this chance to sightsee and talk to the necromancer. 

“Young master Cale, young master _____ is now in our healing ward. I don’t know what happened to them but they seem to be in bad shape. I figured I’d let you know as they were your healer previously. I have also sent a message to the crown prince.”

…Who would have thought the first thing Cale gets to sightsee in this city of life is this world’s version of a hospital.

‘Ah damn it, why is my intuition always right?!’

[1] Medicus is the Latin term for healer that stemmed from Medeor that means to heal or cure

[2] my main vision was Claude de Alger Obelia's clothes minus the chest window lol

[fuckyeahisawthat]

i rewatched Dune Part Two recently and one of the most striking shots for me was the one of the Fremen attacking the Sardaukar on wormback, while holding the Atreides flag.

Like, we just saw the Sardaukar forming up with their numerous flag bearers, even trying to maintain their flags raised after the nuclear detonation (in a shot that mirrored the famous "Raising the Flag in Iwo Jima" statue to me btw, nice nod to imperialism).

And then the Fremen arrive, but they're not bearing their colors, their flags, not fighting in their own names, instead it's the Atreides colors. The colors of their new, imperially appointed rulers. New pawns in the warfare between Great Houses, soldiers instead of freedom fighters. Urgh. Wish i could make gifsets.

Yeah yeah yeah it's horrifying!! You are watching a national liberation movement get successfully co-opted by a superpower and it's awful!

They did such a good job making it feel creepy and foreboding when the Atreides symbols and motifs start re-appearing in the last hour or so of the movie. The second Gurney shows up he immediately re-introduces the Atreides way of looking at the world, and it's disturbing how easily Paul falls back into thinking like that, seeing the planet and its people as tools to be used in an inter-imperial power play. (It's right after Gurney tells him about the family nukes that Paul has the signet ring out for the first time since the beginning of the second act and we're like OH NO.) This is before he drinks the Water of Life; he is already starting to think like a colonial duke again some time before he declares himself one.

After the opening montage where we see the piles of bodies being burnt, we don't see the stylized Atreides hawk symbol for most of the movie. The next time it appears is on a vault of nuclear weapons, which are never treated as anything but a curse. It's so important that Stilgar and Chani are with Paul and Gurney when they open the vault so we can see their horror at these weapons and the gleeful, casual way Gurney talks about them. Chani is also seeing an aspect of Paul that she hasn't really witnessed before--Paul, the Future of House Atreides--and she does not like it.

And then of course the whole ending battle is making the point over and over again with repeated imagery that Atreides and Harkonnens are exactly the fucking same. All the imagery from the initial Harkonnen attack on Arrakeen in Part One--which at least shows the Atreides as brave in the face of overwhelming odds--gets inverted into something that's supposed to make us shudder. That scene of Gurney hacking his way through the crowd of soldiers with someone carrying the Atreides flag behind him? Nightmarish.

All of this stuff is super important to what the movie is trying to say because it is very very easy for us to buy into the Atreides' propaganda about themselves being the good guys. If we're paying attention to what Chani tells us in the literal first 3 minutes of the first movie, we already know we should be viewing them with a bit of critical distance. And while I think there is plenty in the first movie to make us side-eye their noble image (Leto saying we will bring peace to Arrakis?? fucking yikes dude), it's easy to forget that because Leto generally seems like a good dude to the people close to him, and he dies tragically so we never get to see much of what kind of colonizer he would have become. And I think it's easy to start thinking well if only Leto the more reasonable parent had lived then things wouldn't have turned out this way.

But fucking desert power?? That was Leto's idea. This is Leto's dream being realized. The plan was always to use the Fremen as pawns in the power struggle between the Great Houses. Maybe not quite in the way that Paul does cause he definitely goes off with it, but the end result is just as much a product of Atreides imperialism as it is of Bene Gesserit religious colonialism. The Atreides aren't inherently any more noble or benevolent than the Harkonnens in their intentions, they just have better PR. But the end result is exactly the same: a pile of dead bodies being set on fire.

[dragonmama76]

Working on part 2 of Beginnings, but until then here’s a small interlude. You can read the first bit here Part One

“Are you excited to start high school?” Steve feels like every lame adult he’s ever known, but he’s been wanting to have this conversation for a while now, preferably before his gang of nerds walk unprepared into his alma mater.

“I mean, sure.” Dustin says. “They have an amazing media lab and the AP science teachers are supposed to be really good. It’s never too early to think about college! Uh, sorry Steve.”

“Alright, shut it. If I had a brain like yours maybe I’d be in college now.” Steve rolls his eyes affectionately.

“And I heard Nancy say there’s an after-school club for D&D, so that might be okay. I mean, it won’t be as good without Will there but…” Mike trails off, a frown settling on his face.

“Yeah, okay I guess your demons and dingbats thing could be good.” Steve feels vaguely uneasy. Something to do with that club...it probably doesn't matter.

“Well, I’m also trying out for the basketball team.” Lucas adds softly.

“My man!!” Steve grins and holds his hand up for a high five. “I’m around if you want to get some practice in before tryouts. And I've got an in with the coach if you want me to put in a good word for you.”

“Nice! I'm always up for more practice!" Lucas grins back matching Steve's enthusiasm.

"And nepotism," retorts Dustin.

"Okay, brain boy. I don't know what that is, but it sounds gross and we don't have it." Steve smirks and cocks his head before remembering this was supposed to be a serious conversation.

"Anyway...I just wanted to talk to you guys about sticking together and always having each-other's backs." Steve starts and Dustin, of course interrupts, "Obviously, Steve. Who do you think we are?"

"No, man, I know. It's just that it can be pretty intimidating and the bullying can be...more intense than what you're used to in Middle School." Steve conceeds.

"Like you'd know anything about being bullied!" snorts Mike, "You were the bully."

"Uh...well." Steve doesn't want to scare the kids, but he does want them to be prepared. "I was kind of an asshole for a while..."

"Ya think?" Dustin chimes in.

"Shut up and let me talk!" Steve says in his best mom voice. "I had to learn to be harder in school. My freshman year this older kid made me his target and it was pretty awful. It got so bad I didn't even want to go to school half the time."

"That really sucks, man." Lucas gives Steve a supportive look.

"Aw, what, did he call you names? Make fun of your hair?" Mike sneers. He can't help but run his mouth sometimes. He likes Steve well enough, but not like Dustin and Lucas do and he can't stand how they worship him sometimes. Steve isn't that great.

"Dude. He pulled a knife on me for like, no reason. I was fourteen."

"Woah" Dustin just exhales. "So like, is high school....dangerous?" All three boys are seriously paying attention now, eyes wide.

"Nah, not normally. Anyway, it got better once I was deep in with the guys on the basketball team. So I'm just saying. Find a group that has your back. And you guys look out for other kids too, all right? And tell ME if anyone bothers you. I've got a bat that can sort them out."

"Dude....you can't just nailbat a teenager." Dustin snorts.

"I dunno, squirt," Steve ruffles Dustin's hair and he yelps ducking away, "If I find out anyone is messing with you guys....well, maybe not the nail bat, but just...promise to tell me okay? I don't want anyone of you going through what I did."

"We promise." They all chime dutifully.

"Hellfire!" Mike shouts as they all turn to look at him like he's got three heads. "What?" he says, "That's the name of the club."

"Hellfire." Steve mutters. Why does that name make his stomach hurt? He'll probably remember later. Meanwhile he's glad his twerps are going to have a good support system when they start school.

Read Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Tag list (ask if you want to be tagged for the full part 2) @swimmingbirdrunningrock @phirex22 @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian

[writing1raflesia]

Gravity falls x stealth transmasc reader

Context: Reader is a transitioned trans man who is trying to hide the fact that he is trans, but he is not very good at it.

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Stanford

Honestly he would take a while to notice, if he notice at all. He is too focused on his researches, dealing with his past with bill, saving his family, is not like he pays much attention to you. Even in the few moments where he is forced by his great niece to have a life out of his lab and he's alert for everything that might be wrong he doesn't seem to notice. He is a reserved person and takes some of your attitudes as being reserved as well. If you don't take your shirt of in a hot summer day is probably because you're shy or something, not to hide a scar, the lack of pictures of your youth might just be for the same reason as him, he never cared for pictures, it never crossed his mind that you might be hiding something, but if it does, oh boy prepare yourself, now this man is certain that you're a spy, works for bill, is a threat, something is wrong and he can think of all the wrong options!

Stanley

He's also one that doesn't find out on his on, I mean, he is surrounded by weird people and he himself hide some secrets, it's not his business right? Of course he is curious and you might be a spy from the government hiding the equipment, maybe the lack of pictures and how you sometimes mention some weird situations for a man to go through on your past migh be you getting your false background wrong from time to time...hm ok he might be obsessed on figuring out what you're hiding!

Mabel

She straight up start stalking you when she notice something was wrong and when you accidentally mentioned the feminine nickname you had on your childhood she started connecting the points. Watching you from afar with her binocular she notice the scar on your chest and realizes everything. She has an evidence panel with red strings, determinated to find out the truth, but when she finally does she start feeling bad about it, maybe you don't trust her enough to tell her? What kind of experiences made you want to hide that? Maybe is just not important for you? Well... Maybe one day she'll ask you about it, but not today

Dipper

Dipper is paranoic, the first time he notices something was wrong was in a hot day at the pool when you decided to swim with a shirt despite the hot weather, at first he ask you about it, thinking you might have some kind of insecurity or skin problems and couldn't get direct sun, but when you're answer is not satisfactory and it seems like you're avoiding the subject he start getting cautious about you, reading his journal to look for clues on what you might be or what could be making you act like this, when he doesn't find anything he start asking Mabel about it but she refuses to say anything. He must do some investigations and when he does so everything turns into a clue, the lack of pictures of your childhood, the way you avoid some subject and just seems ...odd... When he finally figured it out he feels dumb for not thinking about it earlier, just like Mabel he tries to think why you would hide such thing, maybe you think people would see you as less of a man for that? Well he understands this feeling, he will just let you be and avoids the topic if anyone question him, talking about it is your decision to make

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Author: thanks for reading!! This one was a request and I'm sorry if is not that good, I was a bit low creativity with that one. Any comments and feedbacks are welcome. Let me know if you want more characters or a transfem/NB version

[auras-moonstone]

Hey babe! I’m sure you get lots of requests but I’ve been reading all your stuff lately(so good omg and so addicting) but I was wondering if you could do enemies to lovers. With either Jack or ethan. Whatever comes to mind. Love ya!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.2k

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: ethan and y/n have a rivalry going on, until one day y/n explodes and ethan decides it’s time to change the core of their relationship.

ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: academic rivalry. enemies to lovers(ish). insecurities. fighting. screaming. making up (and out). a little bit of toxicity.

y/n left the classroom practically fuming, with a smug-faced ethan trailing behind her. they had just been given their marks on their econ exam, and while y/n had passed, ethan had beaten her once again. by far.

it was exhausting. the boy was so smart, he didn’t even need to study. paying attention to class sufficed, he memorised everything and understood easily. y/n, on the other hand, wasn’t a natural. she had to stay hours on a chair trying to get the contents in her mind. and while she made an immense amount of effort, ethan always managed to come out in top of her.

she was insanely jealous of ethan. yes, maybe the few times she achieved higher marks than him she’d gloat a little bit (a lot). and yes, maybe the nonsense rivalry between them had started because of her and her bitterness but she couldn’t help but put up a fight.

some days y/n would feel bad about being the detonator of the stupid enmity, but today was definitely not one of those days.

“hey, y/n/n, it’s okay. econ is a very hard subject, not everyone understands it quite like i do.” ethan said, cockiness trying to be disguised with a very poorly-done empathetic tone.

y/n kept stomping, not even the rain could stop her from trying to get away from him.

“i could tutor you, if you’d like.” he continued, ignoring the way the fabric from her polo shirt was starting to get soaked.

“what i’d really like is if you’d leave me alone.”

“nope, this is my favorite part of feedback day. i love rubbing my high marks all over your face.” the tall boy smiled.

it was a crime that the cutest smile she’d ever seen belonged to the most insufferable man on earth. it only made her more furious. “get lost, landry.”

“we live in the same dorm building.” he laughed.

“well, take another route.”

“my god, you’re such a sore loser. i don’t say a thing when you gloat. which doesn’t get to happen very often, but still.” he rolled his eyes.

was he right? of course. was she going to admit he had a great point? no. was she going to keep unleashing her fury and jealousy? hell yes.

“yeah, well, once you get to beat mr. perfect, it’s an inevitable thing to do.”

his jaw tensed. “why are you so frustrating?” he screamed over the rain and thunders.

“why won’t you leave me alone?!” she screamed back, stopping in her tracks. “if i’m so frustrating why don’t you just stay away?” he stayed silent because he didn’t have a reason why. at least, none that he could say aloud without her running away. “huh, ethan? why do you keep sitting next to me even though the classroom is always empty when we arrive?!”

truth was, he was addicted to the rollercoaster of a relationship they both had. y/n always challenged him, made him feel alive. it wasn’t sane, it was completely intoxicating and wild and crazy, but it was his serotonin and he was addicted to it.

but this? up until today, it has been silly bragging and comebacks. this y/n seemed deranged, absolutely insane. he didn’t want her to truly hate him, because there was not a bone in ethan’s body that held any hatred towards her.

ethan admired her. he admired her perseverance, her intelligence, her witty, her humor. and even though it had never been towards him, he witnessed how kind she was to others. he wondered when it’d be his turn to have that part of y/n—the one that smiled genuinely, the one that joked, the one that laughed warmly.

it was clear the end of the stupid rivalry was in his hands because it would be an endless battle if it were for y/n, she was never going to let her armour down. he was ready for their relationship to change.

so with determined steps, ethan made his way towards her until he was so close that her chest almost touched his. “because i’m so fucking attracted to you. never thought i could feel this much about someone that hates my guts, but here i am.”

y/n’s eyes widened and searched in his face for any sign that he was messing with her. but she only found pleading brown eyes and eyebrows furrowed in anguish.

“and i’m going to kiss you right now, in risks of getting kneed in the balls, which is something you’d one hundred percent do.”

y/n might’ve laughed at that, but before she could do anything, ethan’s big hands grabbed her waist and pushed her towards him, closing the distance.

they stayed kissing in the rain for a while, not caring about the clothes sticking to their skins or the amount of water that fell down their faces. maybe their fights had been the perfect foreplay, because the kiss was unlike anything they’d experienced before. the rush that ran through their veins was intense and heart-racing.

“wow.” y/n said when they had to pull away for air. her fingers were still threading through his wet hair.

“yeah.” he agreed, letting out a laugh. “now that my kiss sort of sedated the beast within you—”

“fuck you.” she muttered, but this time there was nothing but playfulness in her tone.

“—let’s talk about what is going on inside your head, because we can’t keep on going like this.”

the walk back to her dorm was silent but the tension that always seemed to surround them was gone. their fingers were intertwined, and y/n leaned on ethan’s arm with his jacket around her shoulders.

“i’m sorry, ethan. i’m the one that started this stupidity.” y/n said as they settled on the couch.

“i never put a stop to it.” he pointed out.

“you were just playing the game i started. you never had bad intentions, but i fought with you because i resented you.”

“resented me? why? why did i do?” he asked, taken aback.

“no. nothing, not really. it’s just… i envied that you were so good at every class. i hated that i spent hours trying to make sense of what was in front of me while you understood everything so effortlessly. and the marks always hit me in the ego and insecurities.”

“and everytime i paraded my mark… i was just fuelling your anger.”

“well, yeah, but it’s not on you. it’s all me, in my head. during high school, everyone practically patted me in the head and congratulated me for my marks… and now, in college, i’m struggling like i’ve never before. it’s so horrible, i feel like a failure.”

ethan pulled her into his arms as she broke down. “you’re not a failure, y/n. college is very different from high school, and everyone struggles in their own way. no, i don’t have any problem when it comes to clases but socialising? trying to make friends? that’s where i struggle. it terrifies me.”

and now she hated herself more because it was at that moment that she realized she had been mean to someone who did not deserve it at all. “i’m so fucking sorry, ethan. you’re amazing and i’m sorry that i ever made you feel bad.”

“i’m sorry, too. i never meant it, but i still hurt you with my mocking. so let just call it even and move on, please.”

“we’re not even close to being even, but i want to move on, too. i want to get to know you. start over.” she said, brushing away the wet strands of hair that sticked to his forehead.

“but can we, maybe, please, not obviate the kiss? cause that was really fucking good and i want more of that.”

y/n laughed and hugged his neck. “that sounds perfect.”

[crowgore-throwaway]

Detroit: Become Human would've been so much better as a critique of capitalism. All the groundwork is there.

All these points are interweaved, but I'll try to address them in parts

1: Automation, the unemployment crisis, and abuse of workers

Todd, Alice's "father", was a taxi driver before cars were automated. Other blue and pink-collar jobs (sanitation, desk-work, etc.) have also employed the use of androids as a cheaper alternative to maintaining a human employees. The people at fault are clearly the corporation owners, who only care about profits and cheap labor. This mirrors how companies will outsource labor to poor countries, paying employees pennies. This is also reminiscent of hostilities toward immigrants and how they "take our jobs". The way androids are abused could also serve as critique of how employers want cheap, exploitable workers who'll do what you want without complaint, not matter how poorly you treat them.

2: The childcare crisis

In-game, android owners are demonized for owning androids. Yes, there are people who mistreat their androids, but there are other who have them for a good reason. (to preface this next part, I have no clue why Todd is the way he is. Buying two androids to live a facade of a family life while also, presumably, not getting a job and abusing the and damaging the machines they bought is perplexing, but I'll overlook it) Kara is a model designed as a homemaker, she cooks, cleans, does childcare. As a symptom of capitalism, many parents struggle to take care of their kids. Daycare is expensive and hard to access, so why wouldn't you get a nanny android if you can afford one? It's a one-time purchase, round the clock care, so you don't need to worry whether or not your child is safe while you provide for your family. This existence of androids is purely based on capitalist necessity, how it isn't possible to balance aspects of your life as culture shifts more and more towards making money.

3: Systems of authority upholding corporate interests

Connor's character could be great commentary on how the police uphold corporate interests. His whole purpose is to essentially stop the workers from striking by rooting out the problem. Him being an android could also incorporate the issue of tokenization, how those from disadvantaged backgrounds/marginalized groups are told that if they work hard and keep their head down, they can be successful. Connor, in his various endings, either upholds the status quo to (presumably) preserve his own place in world, which ends in him being replaced by a more advanced RK model, representing how licking boots and sucking up to oppressors doesn't help you. (Blaire White, for example) While him deciding to deviate is a great opportunity to show a character working within the system to bolster change. Also, the detective parts are really cool, but the narrative kinda separates the audience from how emotionally taxing that kind of work is. Don't want to overload the story, but the fact that the only reason given for Hank's depression, alcoholism, and suicidality is because his son died is bullshit considering he deals with homicides on a regular basis. It's similar to cop dramas, how the crimes are shown but at the end of the day, the officers go home and have their own interpersonal drama, completely divorced from the things they see on the daily. (This bit isn't as fully-baked as the other takes since I'm not super learned on the ins and outs of how corporations affect law)

4: Conflict within the working class

As mentioned briefly in part 1, there's a lot of talk about people on welfare and immigrants taking away opportunities from other workers. This, of course, is not true. It's a manufactured conflict that distracts the working class from the true issue: the mass exploitation of the 99% to fund the 1%. People lose their jobs due to aforementioned greedy business practices and protest against androids, mistreating them instead of turning their attention to system itself because they're so ingrained in it they don't even think to question why this could even happen in the first place. They take their emotions out, suppressing the symptom rather than treating the problem.

5: Commodification

Along with employees, Cyberlife has companion androids, again, like Kara, who are advertised as a partner who'll be whatever you want whenever. There are child androids, too. And the thing with machines is that they (presumably) have no feelings and feel no pain, so you can beat them, rip them apart, and kill them with no legal repercussions. The company is selling you a family, a partner, or a victim. They strip away emotional connections, making aspects of life that make us truly human into something shallow you can buy or sell. This is similar to the real-life image of the American dream. You look happy in your big house with your wife and kids, but it's only a facade. The only thing you end up caring about is the validation you get for having stuff, and when you aren't the best man in the neighborhood, with the biggest house, the prettiest wife, and the best paying job, you resent those around you, including your own family because in your eyes, they aren't good enough. You could assume people attack and abuse androids because they are dissatisfied by where their is at and are angry at the android for not making it better, but there's none of that. I wanna know why Carlos Ortiz got high and beat his android (who doesn't get a name). In a lot of the confessions and interrogations from androids, you just get a scared description of how they were abused, nothing about the lead up. We get basically nothing about Rupert. But anyway, there's an obvious implication that people are growing less emotionally stable due to the incorporation of androids into daily life, since they see these machines with human faces as people who they can do anything to so they end up having messed up morals and seeing people as disposable.

6: Conclusion

Okay, not a full-on well-researched essay, but y'all see what I'm getting at. So much of the allegory was so poorly established. We only get a taste of certain social issues and not really a solid lens besides vaguely civil-rights related. I need more android-human relations. I'd like to see Markus as a big socialist leader, I want a subset of "scab" androids that deviate and actually like their lives, refusing to join the revolution. I HATE the march and store break-in chapters because you see all these androids joining Jericho but they don't have an identity. Many of them die unceremoniously. They go from machines performing their function to suddenly sentient beings with emotions coerced into whatever cause Markus wants, which is arguably worse because it's basically cult indoctrination.

I'm not sure what I would do about the narrative androids' sentience, since the argument that they should be given rights is weak considering it's implied that the reason for deviance is a sudden, traumatic event. I feel there should be an argument in there about how human emotions are just chemicals when you boil it down, but still, it's perplexing. I really like the way the webtoon Lovebot approaches the bot's sentience. Spoilers, but the androids in that series aren't nearly as widespread. They were invented as romantic, sexual companions. All of them are sentient from the outset, they just have a chip in their brains that keep them from exercising free will. They are inherently free-thinking beings, just trapped in their own heads by hardware. I think DBH just didn't give enough thought to the logistics of deviancy. It doesn't have to be overexplained to oblivion, but there needs to be a solid reason as to why it isn't a computer virus caused by mistreatment.

All that said, I still love this game. Loved it pretty much since it came out, I remember watching Jacksepticeye play it. I was obsessed with the characters, thought the aesthetic was super cool and was affected by the heartfelt aspects of the story. The music is also really good. David Cage just isn't a very good writer. I also straight up don't like him as a person. But still, the artists and actors did a stellar job- Bryan Dechart and Clancy Brown have great chemistry as Connor and Hank, the futuristic style paired with some of the older architecture is interesting and, again, I'm a slut for a great soundtrack.

Tbh, I'm a bit neurotic picking apart a 7-year-old game, but it got me really into sci/fi. I was like, 12, when I first got into it and hyperfixated HARD. I'm realizing that some of my biggest hyperfixations have been detective fiction (current favorite thing is Disco Elysium), so I wonder what that's about. So I guess it was nice to combine something old I really like, Detroit: Become Human, with my current interest in socialism.

[vera-deville]

I told you I would send in a request, so here it is! This is an Obey Me one, if that's alright!

First off, have you ever seen Little Shop of Horrors? If not, please do! One, it's essential for this ask and it's also just a great movie! No pressure though!

Now, onto the real ask! So, if possible, I'd like to request a florist!MC. But a florist who's kind of like Seymour.

(Here's where the whole Little Shop of Horrors thing really comes in)

They come to the Devildom with Audrey II. It's got its roots wrapped around the MC's waist, and it's vines wrapped around their arms while snug. Of course, it's heavily off-putting because.. well. There's a humongous and terrifying plant just.. attached to this human.

But the brothers don't mind it, until months into the MC's stay as an exchange student when Audrey II starts talking. Then, they're all freaked out. They're even more freaked out when the MC is not only fine with it, but is willingly talking to it like it's normal!

(Bonus if they see the MC prick their finger and then just.. let Audrey II clean It off.)

(Yes, this came to me in a dream in the middle of a 20-minute-nap.)

So, what would the brothers think of this?

Feed Me Seymour!

05/17/2024 - 05/30/2024

Pairing: No pairing (you can think of the interactions as either platonic or romantic) Word Count: 3,351 Warnings: Reader pricks their finger, but they'll be alright; mentions of chapter 16 Gender: Gender Neutral (as it was not specified in the request) Tags: @g0dwat3r (if any of you would like to be added to my Obey Me taglist, please let me know)! Notes: Okay, I really love your brain Touya, because this is already a fantastic idea, but you know what I started thinking about? Morticia Addams. I don't know if you've seen the old Addams Family series, but Morticia has a carnivorous plant called Cleopatra, and I really wanted to include her in the story. I didn't, but I'm definitely thinking about writing it.

In which Y/N has a rather interesting plant friend(?)

"Congratulations!

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Royal Academy of Diavolo.

Please return this letter with your sign to confirm your participation.

We are looking forward to welcoming you as part of our new exchange program.

Yours sincerely,

Diavolo"

Huh? Royal Academy of Diavolo? Exchange Program? What was happening?

You tried to open your eyes, but there was nothing to see. Just pitch-blackness. It would have been more terrifying, but the soothing presence wrapped around your waist and arms helped. Quite a bit, at that. Clutching the stem of rice flowers close to your chest (although careful enough to not break the stem), you kept trying to see through the darkness for something, anything.

Soon enough, there was a voice. "We welcome you, human, to the demon student council."

The voice was stern, but pleasant, drawing your attention away from the darkness and to a room that was materializing in front of your eyes. It looked like a really goth courtroom, and you truly would have spent more time admiring the place if it wasn't for the ridiculously tall man who arose from the chief judge seat.

The man in question was handsome. Very much so. With burgundy hair, and a well-fitted suit, and skin so coppery sweet, it was no wonder that you couldn't help but stare.

And if you weren't so caught up in the man's appearance and the fact that you had no idea what on Earth was happening, perhaps you would have noticed that you weren't the only one staring.

You had to physically will yourself to pay attention not only to the man when he started speaking but the others in the room as well.

"Welcome to the Devildom, Y/N."

Astonishment enraptured your being for the simple reasons that this complete stranger somehow knew your name, and that every single person in the room was blessed with extremely good looks. The astonishment, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed.

"...Oh pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?" Asked the man with red hair. "Well that's understandable. You've only just arrived, after all." Arrived? Arrived where exactly? "As a human, it will probably take a little while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom."

Okay yeah, this was some sort of really weird dream induced by your lack of sleep this past week. That's why there were really handsome dudes and that's why one was telling you weird stuff. Since it's a dream, there was no problem with going along with it, right?

"The Devildom?" You ask, feeling yourself relax a little more, now knowing that this is a dream.

"Yes, exactly, the Devildom. I see that you catch on quickly. Excellent." He replied.

Well, that didn't really answer anything.

You were about to ask for a better reply than that when he said, "I suppose I should start by introducing myself." Curious, you give him his moment. "My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of of all demons, and all here know me." Cool. The dude's a demon king. Still not the weirdest thing you've ever dreamt. "And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom." Oh, he wasn't king yet. Then how's he a ruler already? You know what, it's probably best not to think too hard about it.

The so called ruler of the so called Devildom proceeded to explain about a school called R.A.D. and about a bunch of other stuff. The other demons (plus one that came in really late) introduced themselves as different demons of different avatars, and the more they spoke, the more you couldn't shake off a particular feeling.

It all felt too...real. You'd dreamt all sorts of things before, but a part of you somehow always knew that it was just a dream. But you didn't feel that this time. It felt far too real. The anxiety slowly crept back into your bones, a chilling effect settling over your being as your throat seemed to have something invisible lodged in it.

You tried telling them that you weren't meant to be here. That you were meant to be back home. You still had to finish your bouquet for Mrs. Harris, and you had a new shipment of peonies arriving in an hour. You hadn't finished watering all your plants. You hadn't cleaned up the shop. You still had so much left to do! You couldn't just be whisked away to some other world (that you still weren't entirely sure was a dream or not).

But alas.

You were told that there was no way they could send you back.

And if that wasn't bad enough, you had to go to school. You had assignments. You had tests. Oh and you were in what was basically hell.

Ain't that swell?

Throughout this whole ordeal, the plant around your waist remained dutifully wrapped around your figure, even nuzzling against your neck when she felt your discomfort.

Without much of a choice, you steeled yourself for the days in this foreign world that awaited you.

The latest human addition to R.A.D. was a little...odd. None of the brothers nor the demon prince in the room wished to point out the very large plant that had wrapped itself around the human like some manner of serpent, especially since the human was completely unbothered by it.

Most of the brothers found it odd, of course. Solomon never walked around with a giant plant stuck to him, but then again, Solomon wasn't necessarily normal himself. A few of the brothers didn't find it in themselves to keep their thoughts quiet. Mammon in particular straight up screeched when he saw the plant, and maintained his distance (both emotionally and physically) and still the human did not seem to mind the plant.

Asmo found the plant ugly.

That was really the only way he could describe it.

It was ugly.

Satan had read stories of plants like this. In one book he read, the plant ended up eating a whole bunch of people. He only hoped that this was not a case like that story.

Beelzebub didn't really have an opinion on the plant. He could eat it, but it didn't really look too appetizing.

Diavolo himself was worried at first, because he was sure that humans didn't simply walk around with giant plants attached to them. When he told Barbatos about this odd situation, the ever loyal butler offered to look into the matter discreetly.

He found nothing.

It had been many months since you had been whisked away to the Devildom (which you are now infinitely more familiar with). It was strange at first, and it took some getting used to, but you did it. Now, whenever you woke up to face the day ahead of you, you didn't do so in fear or anxiety or anything else.

You had grown accustomed to this new world.

In fact, you'd go so far as to say that you'd grown fond of the place.

Audrey II seemed to agree with this. Every morning, Audrey demanded a large meat dish to satisfy her hunger. The brothers assumed that you were a very hungry individual (Beel felt a deep hunger coming from you at all times), and didn't think much more of it. Every now and then, Audrey would crave a Backstabbing Sandwich (apparently it was particularly delicious), and you, having no other choice, entertained her food whims. What's the worst that could happen?

It was after the whole incident with Belphegor that you brought Audrey with you more often wherever you went. Though you and the brothers had slowly gotten past the incident, the trauma it left behind did not magically go away. Audrey II being the sweet thing she is, had no qualms to being carried around the Devildom (despite the lingering stares and questions that were thrown your way).

Today was a day that Audrey II would be coming with you. You were heading off to the flower shop you owned on Dogma Street. You originally were looking to open the shop at Silent Street, but Dogma Street caught your eye. The street itself was the biggest electronic district in the Devildom, and when you first proposed the idea to the brothers (and Diavolo and Barbatos) to open a flower shop there, they were quick to advice you not to. Why would you open a flower shop at a street primarily known for its electronics?

Still, you managed to push through, and you ended up becoming the quaint owner of a little shop next to an eatery on the street.

And wouldn't you know, it actually did pretty well.

Of course, since you were a student, you couldn't be at your shop full-time, and that's where two lesser demons come in - Terror and Dolor - a pair of siblings who often fought, but shared an interest in flora. They would take care of the shop in shifts, and seeing as you gave them the housing area right above the shop to stay in, you could make sure that they would be at your precious flower shop at (mostly) all times.

Today was planned to be their day off, which was fine by you, seeing as you hadn't been to the shop in a week and you desperately wanted to see your babies (plants) again.

You opened the door, causing a sweet bell to ring, signifying your arrival to your empoyees.

"Y/N!"

"You're back!"

Smiling, you greet your employees, Audrey still wrapped around you.

Terror and Dolor fawned over Audrey (they're really the only ones in the Devildom who do that apart from you) while you went inside to get your apron. Working at the flower shop had quite a few benefits. You could make your own money, go to work at your own time, and most importantly, you could be surrounded by the things that you love the most - flora (and Audrey).

Your flower shop was quaint (despite its large capacity). Many customers have complimented it, saying that it felt homely (which is exactly what you were going for, so mission accomplished successfully you supposed). Even Asmo loved the place, and oftentimes would post selfies from just about everywhere in your shop.

"Dolor, how's that order with the Bloody Acokanthera Oblongifolias going?" You asked the demon pruning Audrey II.

"Just finished it this morning! We shipped it along with the invoice for the flowers. The customer notified us that they would be making the payment by the end of today." Dolor replied.

Shooting a smile of satisfaction at him, you shooed the brothers out your shop, wishing for them to have a lovely day to do...well, whatever it was they did outside the shop. Right before they left, Terror told you that a certain demon butler had visited the shop earlier and left a letter for you, and how she placed it in your office.

With that in mind, you walked back into your shop, petting Audrey II as she sat on a table before walking into your office and grabbing the aforementioned letter.

Even without the knowledge from the siblings that Barbatos had delivered this letter to you, you would have been able to tell that it was he who wrote the letter. By this time in your adventures in the Devildom, you had come to recognize the handwriting of those you know. And while a few had impeccable writing (in cursive too), no one's writing was as elegant as Barbatos - not even Lucifer.

The letter read:

"Dearest Y/N, I am pleased to inform you that Lord Diavolo requires a fresh shipment of Dark Roses for an upcoming event at the castle. I sincerely apologize for the short notice, but please note that the master and I truly would have given you more time to prepare the notice had we been able to do so. We shall need enough roses to fill out the Crimson Room. I estimate that the number be around 50. We will need the roses delivered by tomorrow. Thank you, Barbatos"

You smiled, already having a good idea as to why the roses were needed. Some of the higher officials (not including the brothers you lived with) had been a little too finicky with their positions and though not a threat to the heir of the Devildom, they were starting to get on his nerves.

No matter.

Despite how sweet Diavolo seemed (and actually is), even the Crown Prince of the Devildom had his limits. Oh well. Those officials would get what was coming to them.

Your job was to simply provide the best roses for such an event.

With a newfound vigor, you made your way next door (you had originally bought two plots in the street and simply joined them together to create one shop. This area was where you kept some of your best grown flora (the rest were in an undisclosed location only you and a few others knew about). Typically, you the plants you grew in this area were popular - loads of customers would buy them. The rest of your plants were grown in the aforementioned undisclosed location. Despite this, there was one type of flower you grew in your shop which was by no means popular, but rather extremely rare.

Dark roses.

You fondly recall you and Barbatos planting a fresh batch of dark roses at the Demon Lord's Castle, and how he had given you some seeds to grow for yourself. What started off as a few roses quickly became much more, and now you were the exclusive propagator of dark roses in the Devildom. It was a monopoly you gladly encouraged (something Mammon also did).

The first step was to cut the roses. The roses had to be cut in a specific manner - a 45-degree angle and they had to be put in water immediately. This same method was used with roses back in the human realm (and gardeners would use the stems to grow new roses out of), but there was one key difference between the roses from back home and the dark roses in the Devildom. One of them could actually survive a little while without having to be immediately placed in water.

The other could not.

And that's part of the reason why dark roses were so rare in the Devildom. They were ridiculously hard to grow in the first place, but cutting them was an even bigger pain.

Luckily, you had loads of experience with these finicky things, so you had this in the bag.

After some time, you'd harvested almost 60 roses (some extras, just in case), and it was time to remove the thorns from their stems. Removing the thorns from the roses could be done using one of two different tools you had available in your shop. The first one were rose thorn cutters (made specifically for that purpose) that didn't look too different from a pair of nail cutters. The logic was that you'd slide the tool up to the top of the stem, press down on the handles gently, and then drag it down the stem, thus cutting off the thorns.

Though very efficient, the second tool was your favorite - a simply knife. Roses were woody in nature, so all you had to do was simply slice all around the stem of the flower. Admittedly, this took a lot more time than the thorn cutters, but in a way, it was stress relieving. You were sure that you'd end up using the thorn cutters, but you'd enjoy using the knife for as long as you could.

And so you got to work - de-thorning all 60 something roses by hand.

You'd gotten through more than half of the roses when you heard the bell of your shop jingle. Turning around, you saw none other than the brothers you shared a house with. But in doing so, you'd accidentally run the blade of the tool you were using right across your finger.

Woops.

Hissing, you pulled your gaze from the brothers and back to your finger. You could see the cut, but it took a moment for the blood to come out. It was painful, and you weren't too good with cuts (a little ironic, considering your profession), but before you could whisk your finger away to wash off the blood, Audrey II yelled, "Feed me! I'm starving" before she chomped down on your finger.

Of course, she didn't actually bite off your finger, but she sucked the blood out, and it made your finger more sore than it was already.

It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, of course. You'd gotten hurt loads of times when working (and even when you weren't working), and if there was blood (which there usually was), Audrey would just lick it off for your. Same old.

The brothers had seen you talk to Audrey II plenty of times before, hell (literally), you'd talk to just about every plant you came across, but never had they seen Audrey II talk to you.

If that wasn't shock enough, you just wiped your hands down on your apron before turning back to face the brothers and greet them with a smile as though you hadn't just nicked yourself and had your plant(?) lick your finger for you.

Of course, the greeting faltered on your tongue as soon as you saw the faces of the brothers.

Asmodeus spoke up first.

"Sweetie, your plant just talked!"

"Yeah?" You asked rhetorically. "What about it?" You watched as the brothers tried (and failed) to come up with words to say, although you didn't really understand why they were struggling so. Even Levi was stunned. In an attempt to make a joke (and to stifle the stifling atmosphere), you said, "It's not like you guys didn't know that Audrey could talk."

One look at their faces, and you knew that you were wrong.

"Wait, you guys actually didn't know that Audrey could talk!?" You asked, stunned at this new revelation.

At last, Lucifer gathered himself. "Ahem. We were not made...aware of the fact that your plant was sentient." He sure looked uncomfortable trying to explain his mind without offending you or Audrey.

"What do you think all that meat was being delivered for every morning Lucifer?" You asked sardonically.

"Wait, I thought that yer the one eatin all that meat!" Mammon exclaimed. Bewildered, you shot him a look conveying as such.

"How the hell would I eat 2 whole pounds of meat every single day genius?" You retorted.

"We just thought you were hungry." Beel offered.

"I'm a human. I'd literally die if I ate that much meat every. single. day." You enunciated the last words.

"I'm rather fascinated by Audrey II. How did you come to meet? Was she always this size? Did she always have a deep carnivorous craving?" Satan asked consecutively. Before you had a chance to answer any of them though, he continued, "Actually, now that I think about it, it makes sense! I've been an utter idiot! All the signs were there, and I've read about these kind of plants in A Complete Guide to Carnivorous Plants and How to Care for Them!"

You didn't even bother reminding him that you were the one who recommended the book to him.

Belphegor seemed to be the most chill (although you could still see some semblance of surprise on his sleepy visage).

Figuring that this was probably going to take a while, and you had a whole bunch of Dark Roses to prepare, you invited everyone to grab a chair and sit while you worked.

It turned out to be a good choice, because you ended up finishing a few hours after you'd originally thought you'd finish, and by the end of the day, Audrey had made (official) friends with each of the brothers. In fact, you would say that Audrey and Asmo got along particularly well.

And yes, the roses turned out spectacularly, and the House of Lords were reminded once again of who was truly in charge.

Author's Note: I took some liberty with the Reader's personality in this fic. Seymour's a very timid guy, and (spoiler alert), that's what ultimately lead to his demise (in my opinion). Being thrust into a world full of demons, I think you're gonna need a little more tenacity that Seymour, so I made the Reader timid, but not Seymour-level timid (if that makes sense). The second thing I took a decent amount of liberty with is making Audrey II not entirely evil. She is after all a villain in the original story, but I made Audrey a little bit like Cleopatra. (Sorry if that's not what you wanted)! Masterlist