#respectability

[ukdamo]

Warning

Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

[fiction-quotes]

Bradley Headstone, in his decent black coat and waistcoat, and decent white shirt, and decent formal black tie, and decent pantaloons of pepper and salt, with his decent silver watch in his pocket and its decent hair-guard round his neck, looked a thoroughly decent young man of six-and-twenty. He was never seen in any other dress, and yet there was a certain stiffness in his manner of wearing this, as if there were a want of adaptation between him and it, recalling some mechanics in their holiday clothes. He had acquired mechanically a great store of teacher's knowledge. He could do mental arithmetic mechanically, sing at sight mechanically, blow various wind instruments mechanically, even play the great church organ mechanically. From his early childhood up, his mind had been a place of mechanical stowage. The arrangement of his wholesale warehouse, so that it might be always ready to meet the demands of retail dealers – history here, geography there, astronony to the right, political economy to the left – natural history, the physical sciences, figures, music, the lower mathematics, and what not, all in their several places – this care had imparted to his countenance a look of care; while the habit of questioning and being questioned had given him a suspicious manner, or a manner that would be better described as one of lying in wait. There was a kind of settled trouble on his face. It was the face belonging to a naturally slow or inattentive intellect that had toiled hard to get what it had won, and that had to hold it now that it was gotten. He always seemed to be uneasy lest anything should be missing from his mental warehouse, and taking stock to assure himself.

Suppression of so much to make room for so much, had given him a constrained manner, over and above. Yet there was enough of what was animal, and of what was fiery (though smouldering), still visible in him, to suggest that if young Bradley Headstone, when a pauper lad, had chanced to be told off for the sea, he would not have been the last man in a ship's crew. Regarding that origin of his, he was proud, moody, and sullen, desiring it to be forgotten. And few people knew of it.

  —  Our Mutual Friend (Charles Dickens)

[solace-philosophy]

Vanity hides under the cloak of virtue and respectability.

— Commentaries on Living, Book 3 by Jiddu Krishnamurti

[thedemonoracle]

Hello and welcome to Hell. Today we’ll be talking about the history of respectability politics and how it can be used to look at issues within the LGBTQ community.

[airedelalmena]

Unfortunately, a form of this applies to basically all of life.

People like to be babysat. No, they expect and demand it. Outright refusing, and being authentic instead, or even just slipping the babysitting guise for two minutes, will have them enraged and more than just offended, people IRL will literally flip on a dime and hate you for it.

This, combined with my treating everyone with the respect of a peer, and total refusal to go along to get along and pretend there's some sort of hierarchy (in any interaction other than when forced i.e. with my literal boss) has people absolutely lose it. (The particularly small-minded will even try to slap literal diagnoses onto it: there's no way someone sane and right-minded wouldn't reenact their sick social power games and clique behavior, so they must be born with something that addles their mind, right? NormalsTM Like Us know it's as much of a law as gravity or the need to breathe, to automatically defer to others but esp. "your betters," to coddle and baby them at all turns.)

Keeping it real, and using direct plain speech while you're at it, feels like poison for people who have been swallowing BS forever, so long as it feels appealing enough.

And as for the political/ideological implications of this... online, over the past ten-twelve years at least, we've been heavily socially engineered/fucked with using this in combination with other essentially cult-style, psychologically abusive tactics to corral (usually young and well-meaning) people into destructive politics.

But no one wants to have the astroturf conversation.

something you really learn from this site is that 'sounding reasonable' is a writing style you can just adopt while saying bizarre things, and if you just sound sure enough you are in fact the most reasonable person online about 80% of all users will just assume you are in fact so very reasonable, that your sources check out and you are drawing reasonable conclusions from them. You don't actually need to make sense.

If you use the right tone you can also, essentially without effort, convince people anyone who disagrees has evil motivations or convictions in some way. Convincingly performed indignation makes people very apologetic/makes them side with you because this is a very scary emotion to them (the userbase is terrified of being guilty or siding with the guilty). Doesn't matter what you're actually saying this applies in basically any situation. But you cannot use dated memespeak or writing styles popular on this site 2+ years ago because those annoy everyone and make you look stupid and easy to make fun of.

again it doesn't matter what you're actually saying. This site is all about tone. It's basically like talking to a baby or perhaps a small dog. it's about sounding cool.

[susiemybeloved]

Came to me in a dream

[andhumanslovedstories]

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

[monophobix]

the real MVPs of arcane

[etakeh]

My family doesn't really like it when I mention that my kid was a stripper for a few years. Doesn't bother me. I don't say it to get a reaction, it's usually just something that came up in conversation that I wanted to state for kind of explaining why I knew something.

Most of them just pretend it doesn't bother them (it's good family gossip, after all), except for the one who says, "My daughter took pole lessons, but it was just for exercise. She took burlesque classes but it was just for exercise."

Dude if you're going to jump on making sure everyone knows that she is respectable, she could have been doing it for high end clubs* and how would you know? She's not going to tell you.

So yeah I appreciate this guy saying that stripping isn't his number one goal, but that it's a valid use of the pole and in fact the reason it's a thing here.

Just like. don't make it weird. Easy.

*not disparaging skeezy clubs. she's just like that.

Is Pole Dance the same as Stripping?

I get a lot of comments saying something like “bro is a striper” (usually when a post breaks containment), so thought I might as well address the topic!

Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my videos!

[jesskasb]

[gayvampyr]

asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now

[sashayed]

i dont give a FUCK any more man this has gone TOO far i'm deleting ALL the exclamation points from my work emails. that's right. i hope you have a good weekend. and no more than that

[muffinlevelchicanery]

[viola-halogen]

It is absolutely vital in any fandom to have a favourite character who you want to wrap up in a pile of blankets and give sweet treats to and a favourite character you want to beat on the head with hammers.

[noodles-and-tea]

Ok but does adult Dick still get star eyes when he sees Superman, as his hero or does he keep his fangirling low key now that he works along side him, as Nightwing?

(I love your art OP thank you for sharing your art with us!)

He keeps it professional on the field but the second superman is out of sight he reverts to fangirling.