#revolve or oscillate?
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infectioustomfoolery · 1 month ago
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some metal gear doodles
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gigglefriend · 8 months ago
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new metal gear from me your friend gigglfreind on Tumblr dot cllom.
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ohhhgg 😭 major obalalalalalallalaallaa major Lalallaalalalala Revolver Yippee! Revolver major Eeegegegegeks ^_^ Major slopalot Major Stupid fucking idiotAlot Would you believe this.
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jamjumpingjambore · 21 days ago
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Aldi’s can kiss my entire ass
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literaryvein-reblogs · 9 months ago
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words for when your characters are ________
Eating
absorption, chew, contract, crunch, deplete, diet, dig in, dispatch, draft, exhaust, feast, finish, glut, gobble, gormandize, graze, guzzle, ingest, nibble, nosh, peck, polish off, prey on, quaff, sip, stuff, take, tear down, wolf, xerophagy
Moving
bob, careen, circulate, contort, curl, dandle, descend, dislocate, displace, drift, entwine, fidget, flourish, haul, loop, oscillate, paddle, pivot, pulsate/pulse, revolve, rock, rotate, skirt, topple, transport, tumble, twine, uproot, waft, waver, wheel, wield
Moving quickly
barge in/barge into, bolt, bustle, coast, dart, decamp, flash, flinch, flutter, gallop, glide, hurry, hustle, jiggle, make off, plunge, prance, rebound, ricochet, run, scamper, scramble, shake, shudder, skedaddle, skip, slide, slither, speed, sprint, storm, swerve, tear, twirl, wag, whiz, wobble, zip, zoom
Moving slowly
amble, creep, dalliance, decline, dilly-dally, hobble, knock about/knock around, laggard, linger, lumber, meander, plod, prowl, ramble, reel, saunter, slink/slither, sneak, steal, stroll, tarry, tramp, waddle, wander
Vocalizing
accent, bark, bellow, cackle, chant, chortle, clamor, cry, drone, giggle, growl, guffaw, harmonize, howl, laugh/laughter, locution, mumble, mutter, parrot, roar, shout, shut up, snap, snicker/snigger, squawk, stutter, voice, whimper, whistle, yammer, yowl
NOTE
The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.
It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary. Writing Resources PDFs
Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary ⚜ Part 1
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heesngirl · 3 months ago
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Synopsis : In a city where luxury and danger coexist behind shiny facades, The Sentinel introduces Lee Heeseung, a tactical agent whose life revolves around vigilance, precision and a single priority: protecting the person most important to him. The story kicks off in the midst of a mission that, while seemingly routine, soon reveals itself to be part of something bigger, more tangled and much more personal. Between covert threats, tensions within the team, miscalculations and a briefcase that could change everything, Heeseung faces not only operational risks, but also his own emotional limits. With a narrative that oscillates between suspense, action and a deep bond that is unnamed but felt on every scene, this story marks the beginning of something far more complex than a simple operation: a silent war between the professional and the personal.
Warning : EA/BDG Heeseung x Painter reader. dom! Heeseung, pet names, loss of virginity, oral sex (both), fingering, P in V, unprotected sex, cumshot, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, smut, mdni.
Count : 26k (Part. 1)
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The icy wind was a constant on the rooftop, cutting like blades as it engulfed the men in their positions. From that vantage point, Seoul stretched out like a mosaic of moving lights, a potentially hostile terrain under the team's meticulous gaze. Heeseung remained motionless, his body in controlled tension as he scanned the target building through the scope of his sniper rifle.
The communicator frequency remained static for a second before Jake broke the silence.
— System operating stable. CCTV cameras are under control. But, if you ask me, the guy in the orange tie is still my prime suspect, if only for the visual attack. — Sim spoke, even wanting to add some humor to lighten the tension.
— Focus your resources, Jake — Heeseung replied in a low but firm voice. He turned his body slightly, adjusting his rifle to compensate for a wind current that had changed direction. The scope's laser remained fixed on one of the building's upper-level windows. — Prioritize the VIP area where Jongseong is. The threat is more likely concentrated there.
A few meters away, Sunghoon leaned against the edge of the building, his rifle mounted on a tripod for stability.
— Maybe we should start with him. Although the crime here is probably bad taste. — Sunghoon added, following the Australian's lead.
However, Heeseung didn't take his eyes off the scope.
— Sunghoon, focus. South window, level five. Do you see any movement? — Lee's demands made it clear he wasn't in the mood for jokes right now.
Sunghoon adjusted his scope, scanning the indicated area with precision.
_ Negative. Only the service team. Movement patterns match previous reports. No anomalies.
Jake chimed in again, the sound of his fingers typing almost as steady as his voice.
— Section B, levels three and four, checked. No signs of hostile activity. By the way, Chief, how do you feel knowing your lady is under the protection of a rookie?
Heeseung's silence lasted a moment, but it was long enough for Sunghoon to click his tongue softly.
— Come on, Jake. Don't push him. We know he hates delegating his personal security. It's like someone else is carrying his favorite weapon.
Jake chuckled before continuing.
— Favorite weapon? I'd say it's his entire arsenal. Although, Heeseung, I'm told the new bodyguard looks better than you in a suit. I'd start to worry. You could be out of a job.
The sound of Heeseung's lips tightening was almost audible over the line. He adjusted his position, recalibrating the rifle to ensure the wind wouldn't affect the shot's trajectory if necessary.
— Jake, if you keep talking, you'll be my next target.
The communicator filled with muffled laughter until Jongseong's voice cut in earnestly.
— Shut up and keep the channel clear. I'm surrounded by people who would pay to make me disappear, and their chatter isn't helping my concentration.
— Situation report, Jongseong. — Heeseung ordered, returning to his authoritative tone.
— Everything seems calm. Standard behavior pattern. Although there are a couple of guests with unusually calculated movements. They're in the northwest corner of the main hall. However, it could be paranoia. — Jongseong replied, a faint echo of tension in his voice.
— Paranoia is useful. Mark their location and maintain visual distance. — Heeseung indicated, activating his targeting laser and focusing it on the room. The intersection between what he saw in his visor and Jake's heat map gave him complete coverage of the area.
Jake cleared his throat, capturing everyone's attention before speaking.
— I'm setting up a facial recognition scan. Give me a minute.
— You don't have a minute, Heeseung replied with a snarl. He quickly scanned the horizon, looking for any sign of an approaching drone or hostile equipment. — Speed, Jake.
—I've got it, I've got it — Jake began rattling off information. — Man one: Japanese businessman, no suspicious record. Man two: Chinese businessman, history of money laundering, but nothing linking him to terrorist activity.
— Monitor them closely, Heeseung ordered.
Sunghoon raised his head slightly at Lee, his tone heavy with skepticism.
— Are we sure this mission isn't a waste of time?
Heeseung glared at him before answering.
— It's on these "quiet" missions that things tend to go to hell. Stay alert.
The channel returned to silence, except for the soft whirring of electronic equipment and the echo of the wind against the buildings. Heeseung couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. His training had taught that calm was never a good omen.
— Jake, any anomalies in the thermal readings? — he finally asked.
— Negative. Everything is within normal parameters. — Jake replied. His tone, though relaxed, had a slight tremor.
— Something's off... — Heeseung muttered to himself, but his team heard it anyway.
Sunghoon adjusted his posture, straightening slightly.
— Do you have a bad feeling?
— I always do. — Heeseung inhaled deeply, his fingers brushing the rifle's trigger out of sheer habit. It wasn't paranoia, not after so many years in the field. Things were never that simple.
The clock in his mind kept ticking every second. It wasn't just the time spent on the mission. It was the time that kept him away from you.
— Get ready. This isn't going to stay quiet much longer.
The sound of the wind against the building's facade was barely audible through the insulation of the headphones. However, for Heeseung, every detail in the environment was like a silent warning: something was out of place. From his position on the rooftop, the view of the city stretched out like a tapestry of flashing lights, but his attention was fixed on a critical point, a space between the shadows where the pieces on the board began to move.
Jake's voice broke into the channel with an urgency that left no room for doubt:
— Chief, we have activity on the 15th floor. A subject has entered the service area. He's carrying something bulky it looks like a briefcase, but it doesn't fit the standard profile. Metallic material visible around the edges.
Heeseung adjusted the scope of his rifle, the thermal imager highlighting the suspect's silhouette through the building's tinted glass.
— How bulky? It details the movement."
Jake responded instantly, his fingers tapping the keyboard in an almost mechanical rhythm as he processed the data from the monitoring system.
— About 70 centimeters per side, maybe more. He's using both hands to carry it, though the movement is fluid. It doesn't seem heavy, but it's not light either. He entered through corridor 15-B, access restricted according to the plans."
— Behavior pattern? — Heeseung asked, memorizing the coordinates.
— Direct. No hesitation. This guy knows exactly where he's going, — Jake said, his tone now deeper. — He has backup: two subjects in the approach area. They're about 10 meters behind, covering possible entry points.
Before Heeseung could issue an order, Jongseong's voice entered the channel. His tone had an unusual edge of tension.
— I need backup. The two suspects I identified in the VIP area are moving. They're approaching my location. They're not patrolling, boss, they're looking for something... or someone.
The air grew heavier, charged with a palpable threat that vibrated in the frequency of their voices. Heeseung took a deep breath, letting the cold logic of years of training drown out any emotional distractions.
— Jake, continue monitoring the primary target. Sunghoon, maintain cover in the corridor. We can't let these guys act unchallenged. I'm going in. — Heeseung declared, as he began securing the descent harness.
Sunghoon looked up from his visor, though he kept a firm hand on the sniper rifle.
— Just you? — he asked, though he already knew the answer.
— Your position is critical. If anything gets out of hand, I need you to eliminate any threat before it crosses the line.
Sunghoon nodded, returning his attention to the telescopic sight. His tone was calm, but with a hint of concern.
— Understood. Just make sure you don't give them a clear angle
The rappelling gear was cold to the touch as Heeseung adjusted it with meticulous movements. Every buckle, every knot had to be perfect; there was no room for error. Jake, meanwhile, continued feeding the channel with data.
— The target has entered a room not recorded on the official plans. Access is direct from the main corridor. He's manipulating something on the door... Probably an electromagnetic decoder. This guy is no amateur.
— Estimated time to opening? — Heeseung asked, as he secured the rope to the main anchor.
— Depends on the model, but if it's what I think, less than two minutes."
Heeseung cursed under his breath. Time was a resource they didn't have. He glanced at Sunghoon one last time before crossing the edge of the rooftop.
— Cover the area. If anything moves toward the target, neutralize it.
The descent began with a firm tug on the rope. Every meter he fell brought him closer to the heart of the problem, and every second counted like a heartbeat in a countdown he couldn't afford to miss. From above, Sunghoon followed his movements, his rifle adjusted to keep his sights on any emerging threat.
— Jake, give me an update. — Heeseung asked, as he maneuvered to avoid the ventos. The most exposed ends.
— Two side entrances are blocked. The other two suspects are covering the apartment's main exits. Chief, I don't like how this is setting up. It looks like a coordinated move."
— It is," Heeseung replied, his voice as cold as his gaze. He knew an ambush when he saw one.
Finally, his boots made contact with the windowsill. With swift movements, he cut the rope and secured his weapon. The apartment's interior was dark, lit only by the occasional flicker of emergency lights.
— I'm in. Jake, lead the way.
The hum of the electromagnetic decoder echoed around the room like a silent countdown. Heeseung stood by the entrance, his back pressed against the wall, his gaze fixed on the dim lighting that filtered through the crack in the door. His right hand adjusted his grip on the rifle while his left brushed against the knife secured to his thigh. He still didn't know exactly how many enemies were inside, but he knew he couldn't wait any longer.
— Jake, tell me what's behind that door. — he whispered in a subdued voice, his tone tense but still in control.
The sound of incessant typing filled the earpiece before the answer came quickly.
— Two confirmed hostiles. One is manipulating the decoder, the other is covering the door with a weapon. You have about fifteen seconds before it opens.
Heeseung exhaled through his nose, trying to gauge the time with his own breath. He couldn't allow the lock to give way.
— Escape routes?
— The only viable exit is the hallway leading to the service area. But if these guys are here, it's because they have backup on the perimeter. — Sim explained, still typing tirelessly.
Heeseung didn't need any more information. In a single motion, he unclipped a stun grenade from his belt, activated it with a quick twist of the safety catch, and threw it through the crack in the door just as the decoder emitted a final beep.
The blinding flash lit up the room like a flash of lightning, accompanied by a sharp crack that reverberated off the walls. The muffled screams of the enemy confirmed that the blow had worked. He wasted no time. With a firm kick, he knocked down the door and entered, his rifle braced against his shoulder, his eyes already adjusting to the dim lighting.
One of the enemy members staggered, both hands going to his face in an instinctive attempt to regain vision, while the other, still shaken by the blast, tried to raise his weapon. Heeseung didn't give him a chance. He fired a single, accurate shot at the torso, watching the body fall heavily to the floor with nothing more than a ragged gasp.
The second man tried to react upon hearing the shot, but Heeseung moved faster. He crossed the distance in a couple of strides, grabbed him by the jacket, and slammed him violently against the wall, pinning him down with his forearm pressing against his windpipe.
— What's in the briefcase?" he whispered coldly, watching the man struggle in his grasp, his expression tinged with confusion and rage.
The enemy let out a stifled gasp, trying to catch his breath, but instead of responding, he let out a hoarse laugh, an exhalation laced with mockery.
— It's too late."
The radio in his ear emitted a sudden crack before Jake's voice cut in alarmingly.
— Heeseung, we have a problem! I've lost the corridor's signal for seventeen seconds, and now there's a third hostile moving toward the VIP area. It's fast. This is a coordinated movement.
Heeseung's grip tightened for a moment before he released his hold on the enemy, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. He spun around and hurried out into the hallway, his mind already processing the best way to intercept the threat before it reached Jongseong.
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The warm lights of the room, the clinking of glasses, and the cadence of carefree conversation seemed too perfect a setting for the latent tension in the air. Jongseong stood by the table, his expression calm and his posture relaxed, but his gaze was fixed on the two men slowly closing the distance between them.
His hand turned the glass between his fingers with a nonchalant air, as if he didn't sense the presence of the two strangers strategically positioning themselves around him. But he felt it. He knew it.
— I don't like the way they're moving. — he whispered casually, his tone low enough for his communicator to pick up the words without alerting those around him.
— Stay where you are. I'm on my way. — Heeseung's reply came instantly, firm but restrained. Jongseong didn't react; there was no need to.
One of the men finally reached him and raised his glass with a calculated smile, as if it were a simple courtesy.
— Mr. Park, it's good to see you enjoying the evening. —The way he articulated each word left no room for doubt. This wasn't casual conversation.
Jongseong maintained his neutral expression, bringing the glass to his lips before responding with feigned calm.
— I put too much effort into my attire not to. — he murmured lightly, without taking his eyes off the liquid in his glass.
The man inclined his head slightly, his smile barely perceptible.
— Confidence is a dangerous weapon. Sometimes, one small slip of the tongue is enough to make everything fall apart. — the same man pronounced with a certain mysticism. Before Jongseong could reply, the side door of the lounge opened with a loud bang.
The murmur of the guests instantly dissipated, turning into shouts and panicked runs as soon as Heeseung's figure appeared in the doorway, his gait measured but lethal. His gaze scanned the scene with the precision of a predator analyzing its territory, identifying each threat in a matter of seconds.
The first man, still next to Jongseong, slid his hand inside his jacket in an attempt to reach his weapon. He didn't have time to react.
Heeseung crossed the distance in two strides, caught his wrist before he could draw his weapon, and, with a sharp, controlled twist, dislocated his arm with a sickening crunch. Before he could scream, he slammed it against the nearest table, knocking over glasses and plates in a shower of broken glass.
The second man barely managed to take a step back before Jongseong slightly tilted his wrist and spilled the contents of his glass over his face. The reaction was immediate. The burning of the alcohol in his eyes made the man swear, bringing both hands to his face in a reflex action.
It was enough. Heeseung took advantage of the distraction and kicked him in the knee, knocking him face down before immobilizing him with the barrel of his gun pressed against the base of his skull.
— Don't let it show that you're desperate to end this. — Jongseong joked to Heeseung, but he only gave him an indecipherable look before simply going to inspect the area.
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The chaos of the operation still permeated the air when the team finally left the building, blending in with the sound of sirens wailing in the distance and the flashing lights of patrol cars illuminating the scene with red and blue flashes. Outside, the criminals were subdued and escorted to special forces vehicles, while the guests were guided to a secure area. The security protocol was deployed with mechanical precision, each unit fulfilling its function efficiently.
Jake, arms crossed and a look of pride that was hard to hide, watched the scene with an air of self-sufficiency before blurting out with obvious satisfaction:
— Well, once again, everything was solved thanks to my impeccable skills. I don't want to say I'm the best, but... well, I really am. — This was typical of him; he was almost always heard saying the same thing at the end of a mission.
Jongseong, who until that moment had only watched silently, slowly turned his head toward him with an arched eyebrow. His expression was a mixture of disbelief and suppressed mockery.
— Your impeccable skills? — he repeated sarcastically, tilting his head in feigned interest. — You mean the part where you claimed the briefcase contained a bomb ready to blow the building to smithereens?
Jake frowned instantly, his smug smile fading a little.
— Yeah, so what? — he retorted defensively, abandoning his previous stance. Jongseong snorted and shook his head before crossing his arms.
— That what was in the briefcase wasn't a bomb — He paused deliberately, savoring the moment before shrugging. — They were containers of a yet-to-be-identified chemical.
Jake blinked, the confidence on his face turning into disbelief.
— No, that's impossible. — the Australian persistently defended himself.
— I'm not saying that. The chemical response team is. — Jongseong gave an amused smile before pointing toward the area where the hazardous materials specialists were handling the contents of the briefcase with safety equipment.
Jake opened his mouth to protest, but couldn't find the words immediately. His expression went from disbelief to frustration in a matter of seconds.
— No... It can't be. The thermal readings and electronic signatures matched those of a high-impact bomb! — Exasperation filled him; he clearly didn't like being wrong, especially when it came to something so important.
— Well, I guess someone made a mistake in their 'flawless analysis.' — Jongseong gave a short, mocking laugh before patting him on the shoulder with mock sympathy.
Jake, clearly offended, turned his head to Heeseung for support, hoping his leader would intervene and back him up. Heeseung was practically his puppet for a while.
— Heeseung, tell them this isn't making any sense. I didn't make a mistake, right? — but the answer never came. Jongseong, noticing the sudden silence, also turned his head in Heeseung's direction, only to be met with… nothing.
—Where the hell is he?—Jongseong muttered, frowning as he scanned the area for Lee.
Jake spun around, looking around with the same expression as someone who had just lost something they were holding a few seconds ago.
— Don't fuck with me… He was here two minutes ago. —Jake assures, continuing to scan the room, but to no avail.
The two exchanged a puzzled look before turning to Sunghoon, who stood with his hands in his pockets, his expression utterly indifferent to the situation.
— Sunghoon, where's Heeseung? — Jongseong called, frowning. But the sniper barely blinked before shrugging, not bothering to show surprise.
— He left as soon as we left the building. — he replied, looking as unfazed as ever.
Jake blinked a few times, clearly unsure whether to laugh or get angry. Jongseong, for his part, ran a hand over his face in exasperation before slowly shaking his head.
Sim, still processing his leader's sudden disappearance, snorted in resignation before blurting out, with a mixture of frustration and amusement : — No doubt... the agent and bodyguard of the year."
And even though it was all over, the feeling that this was just the beginning of something bigger lingered in the air.
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The roar of the engine mingled with the night air as the car sped through the streets with almost inhuman precision. Heeseung kept one hand firmly on the wheel, while the other busied himself with disposing of his gear. His bulletproof vest was the first to come off, its weight falling into the backseat with a thud. Without taking his eyes off the road, he hooked his earphones with his index finger and thumb, pulling them off with a sharp motion before dropping them next to his gun on the passenger seat.
Every action was executed with the same precision he had demonstrated moments earlier in the operation. The way he undid the straps of his gear, the way his movements were quick but controlled, spoke of a man accustomed to moving under pressure. But this time it wasn't a chase; there was no enemy on his heels, no threat forcing him to run. His urgency was different, much more visceral.
The speed he was driving was dangerous for anyone without his level of driving skill, but he didn't brake, didn't hesitate even once as he took the turns with a fluidity that defied traffic laws. His gaze was fixed on the road, dark and deserted at this hour, but in his mind, his destination was already clear. He had only one priority.
The car stopped precisely in front of the illuminated building where the event was taking place. The elegant lights decorating the entrance contrasted with the darkness of the night, reflecting off the windshield like intermittent flashes that Heeseung completely ignored. His mind was no longer on the mission he had just completed, nor on the criminals being brought to justice. No, his focus was solely on what was in front of him.
Without wasting a single second, he leaned into the seat and, with practical and precise movements, began to remove the last traces of the operation. He unbuttoned his tactical shirt and slipped his operational uniform jacket over his shoulders, letting it fall into the backseat. His breathing was still controlled, though there was a different urgency in its rhythm than it had been a few minutes ago. It wasn't the stress of combat, nor the tension of a confrontation. It was the need to reclaim his place.
With steady fingers, he took the black silk tie he'd left ready before the mission, knotted it quickly, and tightened it with a sharp tug. His suit jacket was next, sliding over his shoulders with ease, fitting his body as if it had always been there. Finally, with the same meticulous efficiency, he unbuckled his belt and discarded his tactical uniform pants, leaving only the dress pants he wore underneath.
He had planned this from the beginning. No matter how chaotic the mission was or what unforeseen events arose along the way, he had been clear from the beginning that as soon as it was over, this would be his destination. Because there was no force that could make him delegate his task to someone else and feel comfortable doing so.
He wouldn't trust another to protect you. He wasn't going to leave your safety in the hands of a replacement who, in his eyes, would be nothing more than an incompetent, incapable of providing you with the care, protection, and service that only he could offer. Because protecting you was not only his duty, but his right.
He fastened his wristwatch and ran his fingers through his hair, arranging it with the same precision with which he secured a weapon before entering combat. Then, he took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the entrance to the event. He had wasted enough time, and now, he would resume his position.
As he walked through the doors of the event, he immediately felt the change in atmosphere. Everything about the place radiated luxury and elegance. But what captured everyone's attention most wasn't the expensive outfits or the opulence of the place, but the majestic works that adorned the walls, each one with an air of grandeur that could only be attributed to its creator.
He paused for a moment, allowing himself to observe the paintings on display with a feeling that could only be described as pride. There they were, displayed in the way that best suited them, every stroke, every color reflecting the unmistakable essence of their creator. He knew how much this evening meant to you, how much you had worked for this moment, and although he didn't usually stop to appreciate art with the same intensity as the critics or collectors who murmured in fascination, in that moment, he felt something different. A deep satisfaction that led him to a slight smile.
But his time of admiration was brief. Soon, his focus shifted to what had truly brought him here. With the sharp eyes of someone trained to analyze their surroundings in a matter of seconds, he began to scan the crowd, searching among the faces, among the impeccable dresses and suits, and the golden reflections of the champagne in the glasses raised in a toast.
And then, he found you...
There you were, wrapped in the warm lighting of the hall, your cheeks flushed and an expression that, despite the slight cloudiness in your gaze, retained the same spark that always managed to ignite something inside him. You'd been drinking, there was no doubt about it. He knew well your poor resistance to alcohol, enough to know that that blush wasn't just a product of the festive atmosphere, but of the wine or champagne you'd surely been sipping for a while now.
Without hesitation, he closed the distance between himself and you, ignoring the crowd, the fleeting glances that fell on him when they recognized him, the murmur of other people's conversations that held little interest for him. His attention was fixed on one thing: you.
By the time he reached your side, his hand slid effortlessly to your waist, holding you with a certainty that left no room for hesitation. The feel of your satin dress against his palm was almost hypnotic, but he didn't allow himself to dwell on that detail. Just as confidently, he guided you away from the center of the event, leading you to a more secluded corner, away from prying eyes.
As soon as you had even the slightest shelter from the crowd, you felt the urge to pounce on him, without thinking, without hesitation. He caught you immediately, more by reflex than anything else, and the light laugh that escaped your lips as he steadied you resonated like a direct echo in his chest. His grip remained firm, feeling the warmth of your body against his, the way you leaned in without reservation, with the innocence and boldness of someone not completely sane. Something inside him contracted. Because he knew you. I knew the impeccable composure you usually maintained, the way, even in the most carefree moments, you never completely lost that aura of restraint and elegance. And yet, there you were, giving him a version of yourself you rarely allowed anyone to see.
— You took too long, — your voice sounded sweet, with that syrupy tinge that only alcohol could infuse your words. A slight pout appeared on your lips, as you looked at him with an expression that, if I weren't so used to reading your every nuance, I might have interpreted as genuine reproach. — I came to think I'd really have to spend the whole night escorted by that cheap replacement they assigned me in your absence.
The way you slid your gaze over his face, with those eyes of yours so expressive, so analytical even in the midst of your drunkenness, made his jaw tense slightly. And then you smiled. Not just any smile. A goofball, completely genuine, full of that warmth you rarely displayed with such transparency.
— Although, you know what? — you murmured, leaning a little closer to him, as if sharing a secret. — There's no comparison. You look so much better in a suit than that sad copy they tried to replace you with.
Your comment took him by surprise. Not because of the content itself, but because of the way you said it; without reservation, without any shame. For the first time all night, Heeseung felt a wave of satisfaction run through him, a warmth different from that of the mission, deeper, more personal.
Those words were a kind of relief. It wasn't that he doubted his place, or his role at your side, but Jake's mocking comment about that incompetent man they'd left in charge of your security had been on his mind more than he was willing to admit. Not because he was afraid of losing his job, but because, for the barest of moments, the idea that you might feel safer with someone else had been like a thorn in his side.
But now, with that declaration from you, spoken with complete honesty and without a hint of reserve, the thorn vanished completely. Of course, his job wasn't in jeopardy.
A crooked, barely perceptible smile touched his lips as he reached out and, with an instinctive gesture, brushed away a strand of your hair that had slipped over your cheek. His fingers brushed your skin with the lightness of a caress that wasn't entirely planned, but that he also made no attempt to avoid.
— How many drinks did you have to end up like this? — His tone was low, intimate, with a hint of amusement underlying it. As he asked the question, his thumb briefly brushed the curve of your cheekbone before casually dropping his hand.
Your eyelashes fluttered a couple of times before a satisfied, almost proud smile curved your lips.
— Five. — you said without hesitation, showing your open hand to emphasize the amount, with the confidence of someone who had just achieved a small personal triumph. Then you stared at him, waiting for his reaction. And when the laugh escaped his throat, deep and genuine, you knew you'd got it.
— Only five? — he repeated incredulously, gently shaking his head. — Not even I would feel anything with that amount.
But you weren't him. Your resistance was different, lower, something he'd always found fascinating. Because, in part, he liked seeing you like this, with your cheeks flushed, your eyes shining, and without the filters you usually wore under normal circumstances. He liked this version of you, looser, more transparent. More his.
From one second to the next, you sought more of him. Without warning, you closed the distance, tangling in his embrace with the same ease with which someone clings to something that comforts them. Your body molded to his easily, as if that were your place.
He gave in, because, fuck, how could he not? His arm tightened around your waist, pulling you against his chest a little more firmly, allowing you to feel the solidity of his presence, the warmth his body gave off. His other hand, still tangled in your hair, slowly descended to the curve of your back, guiding you with a gentleness that contrasted with how much he was enjoying having you so close.
— Princess... — his voice lowered a pitch, becoming deeper, more intimate. — Don't you think it's time to leave? Wouldn't you like to rest?
You pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. And as soon as your pupils met his, there wasn't a second of hesitation in your answer.
— Get me out of here. I have nothing else to do in this place. All those people, the celebration... They've completely consumed me — you exhaled, with a hint of exhaustion you didn't try to hide. You paused for a moment, lightly biting your lip before continuing with the most honest confession of the evening. — The only thing I need now is to be with you. Without interruptions, without appearances to keep up.
He didn't wait any longer, nor did he need any other response. In a single movement, he swept you into his arms with insulting ease, as if you weighed absolutely nothing, as if carrying you like that was the most natural thing in the world.
And without further ado, he made his way through the crowd with firm, determined steps, ignoring any curious glances that might fall upon you. He didn't bother to notify the organizers, the staff, and much less your manager of your departure. He'd handle that detail later, when he could enjoy the shocked expression on that man's face when he realized you'd vanished without warning. For now, his only goal was to get you out of there, and nothing and no one would stand in his way.
【★】
The car glided smoothly to a stop in the parking lot, and as soon as he turned off the engine, he got out without delay. He walked around the vehicle with firm steps and opened the passenger door where you were. Without saying a word, he leaned forward slightly to unbuckle your seatbelt, his fingers briefly brushing the fabric of your dress as he released the latch with a subtle click. His expression was inscrutable, but in the way he helped you sit up, in the way his gaze briefly scanned your face, you could sense a different nuance, something that seemed to be torn between habit and a deeper need to take care of you.
The cool night air brushed your skin as you stepped out of the car, causing you to shudder slightly. You had barely taken a couple of steps outside when, with the same ease with which he held his gun on a mission, he scooped you up in his arms without warning.
— Heeseung! — you exclaimed in a strangled gasp, surprise etched in your voice as your arms instinctively clutched his neck. You looked at him in disbelief, trying to process his sudden action. — Put me down. I can walk on my own. I'm not drunk anymore. — you declared firmly, yet he didn't even slow his pace, carrying you with the same confidence with which he made every decision.
— I know, but I'm doing it because I understand that walking in heels is uncomfortable for you, — he replied calmly, without taking his eyes off the entrance. His tone was so nonchalant, so resolute, that for a moment you were speechless. — Even without you saying it, I know your feet are sore now.
And there it was again, that level of understanding that always disarmed you. You didn't need to tell him when you were tired, when you were uncomfortable, or when you needed support; he just knew. His ability to read you so accurately made a strange, warm, and deeply comforting feeling settle in your chest.
You entered the house amidst a complicit silence. Heeseung didn't stop until he reached the living room, where he placed you with extreme care on the sofa, making sure you were comfortable before separating from you. Then, with the same ease with which he handled any situation, he knelt in front of you and moved his hands to your ankles, unbuckling your heels with patient movements.
— You should take better care of yourself — he murmured in a low tone, barely a reproach. But with that note of tenderness that always seeped into his words when it came to you. — Sometimes I think you're too self-careless.
His firm but careful fingers began to massage the sore area, tracing circles with just the right amount of pressure to relieve the tension. You closed your eyes for a moment, letting out an involuntary sigh as the feeling of relief coursed through every fiber of your body. Unable to help it, you leaned slightly toward him, raising a hand to his face, caressing his cheek with a gentle touch, a silent thank you.
His eyes met yours, and in that silent exchange, there was something that transcended words.
— That's why I have you, — you whispered, your voice barely a thread in the stillness of the moment. — You're always there for me, protecting me right and left.
Heeseung held your hand in his, his warm palm covering you with unwavering certainty. He nodded slightly, his pupils reflecting absolute determination.
— I always will be. Don't doubt that I'll be there for you without fail, no matter what it is. — He whispered with conviction, his tone imbued with something deeper, something that hadn't needed to be said out loud for a long time.
The closeness between you narrowed almost instinctively. Your gazes intertwined, your breaths sharing the same space, the tension enveloping you with an almost tangible intensity. Your lips parted slightly, as if you wanted to say something, but any words were cut short when he too began to lean in, his face approaching yours slowly, deliberately. Anticipation vibrated in the air, and every passing second seemed to stretch the moment to the limit.
Then the door burst open.
— Oh! Good evening, miss and sir. I didn't know you had arrived. — Mrs. Kim, the housekeeper, exclaimed cheerfully, her voice echoing from the kitchen entrance.
The tension between you dissipated in a blink. Heeseung moved away in a measured movement, while you, with unusual swiftness, sat up straight on the sofa as if nothing had happened. You tried to compose your expression, avoiding at all costs letting your face betray the moment you had almost shared.
— Mrs. Kim, please take the young lady to her room and draw her a bath, — he ordered firmly, without a hint of nervousness in his tone. His self-control remained intact, although there was still something in his gaze that he couldn't quite hide. — And make sure her bed is ready.
The woman nodded with a pleased smile and gently took your arm, guiding you with the familiarity of someone who has played that role countless times. As you stood, you cast one last glance in her direction, meeting those dark eyes that seemed to want to say far more than his mouth allowed at that moment.
— Good night, Hee. — you said quietly, trying to keep your tone neutral, although there was a note of gentleness you couldn't avoid.
— Good night, princess. — he replied, his voice firm but laden with an undertone only you could recognize.
As soon as you disappeared upstairs, silence fell over the house. He stood motionless in the center of the living room, his gaze fixed on the spot where you had vanished. His fingers inside his pockets clenched tightly. He had to leave. It was what he always did. Make sure you were safe and disappear until the next day.
But this time, something was holding him there.
The echo of your voice still vibrated in his mind, the touch of your skin against his hands, the closeness you had almost shared minutes ago. He sighed heavily, shaking off the thought, when suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket, breaking the stillness of the place. He pulled out the device, and when he saw the name on the screen, his expression hardened. He frowned, his jaw clenching, but he didn't answer. Instead, he swiped to silence the call and put the phone away. That wasn't relevant, not now. Not when his priority lay elsewhere. You were safe. That was all that mattered.
Without wasting any more time, he turned on his heel and left the house, returning to the agent he'd always been.
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The vibration of the hallway lights fused with the muffled echo of his footsteps as he moved forward. The coldness of the marble beneath his boots reverberated through the soles, matching the measured rhythm of his breathing. Heeseung's face was impassive, his gaze fixed straight ahead as he moved toward the meeting room, the tension in his shoulders barely perceptible beneath the controlled rigidity of his posture.
He pushed the door open with calculated firmness, the subtle creak of metal cutting through the air. Jake was leaning back in one of the leather chairs, one leg crossed over the other, a lazy smile on his face. Young Mi, sitting on his lap, ran her fingers over Jake's temples with an intimacy that had no place in this setting. Jake's hand rested with brazen familiarity on her thigh.
Heeseung barely frowned before clearing his throat with a dry sound. Young Mi instantly stepped away, while Jake, visibly relaxed, gave her a carefree smile.
— Boss... — Jake tried to compose himself, sitting up slightly in his seat. His crooked smile tried to soften the situation, but the Australian knew perfectly well there was no escaping the weight of that gaze.
Heeseung moved forward to sit opposite them, resting his elbows on the back of the chair with tense calm. The way he crossed his legs and interlaced his fingers on his knee gave the impression of someone relaxed, but Jake knew the signs of an annoyed Hee better than anyone. The air in the room dropped several degrees.
— I didn't think strategy meetings had evolved to... this kind of dynamic. — Heeseung commented with a tone laced with sarcasm, his sharp gaze scanning the space between Jake and Young Mi.
— Well, we all need a little distraction now and then... — Jake let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his hair in a gesture that betrayed his discomfort.
— Distraction. — Heeseung repeated with a barely perceptible tilt of his head. His tone was neutral, but the charge behind that word was evident.
Jake opened his mouth to try to justify something, perhaps to ease the palpable tension that was beginning to settle in the room; but Heeseung gave him a sharp look that cut off any attempt at a response.
— Where's Jongseong and Sunghoon? — His voice was low, but the authority in it was unmistakable.
— On their way. They won't be long. — Young Mi was the one who answered, with her usual characteristic calm.
Heeseung nodded, shifting his gaze to Jake just as Young Mi stood up to say goodbye. Jake, despite his relaxed facade, couldn't help but follow the woman's gaze as she left the room with calculated elegance.
Once the door closed behind her, Heeseung returned his attention to Jake. The Australian settled into his seat, smiling with a hint of nervousness that he tried to disguise under a mask of confidence.
— Well? — Jake asked in a light tone, though his posture indicated a certain rigidity.
— Since when did you become so indiscreet? — Heeseung looked at him with a calmness that only made the accusation feel more serious.
Jake let out a dry laugh, placing a hand on the back of his head.
— Are you really going to lecture me about this? Because, if memory serves, you're not exactly a model of restraint when it comes to a certain... woman.
— It's not the same. — he defended himself almost automatically, in a sharp tone, his jaw clenched.
Jake let out a low laugh, leaning forward to argue.
— Oh, no? So tell me, what would you do if you finally put aside that pathetic self-restraint and showed your lady what you really wanted from her?
Heeseung remained silent, but the dark glint in his eyes was enough to make the Australian smirk.
— Exactly... — Sim continued, leaning back in his chair with a triumphant air. — But then, you're Lee Heeseung, the perfect guardian. The guy who controls every damn aspect of his life except when it comes to her.
The twitch in Lee's jaw was imperceptible to anyone who didn't know him as well as the man in front of him.
— This isn't the time to discuss this. — Heeseung finally said, his tone cutting.
Jake let out a nasal laugh, narrowing his eyes with a calculating expression. He was ready to continue pushing Heeseung's buttons, but before he could even utter another word, the door hinges creaked again, and that's when the two missing male presences had finally arrived. The underlying tension in the air didn't go unnoticed by both men, surnamed Park, who quickly realized that something had been happening between Sim and Lee.
— So what now? — Sunghoon was the first to speak, his tone laced with that hint of skepticism that seemed to be part of his default character.
Jongseong entered behind him, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets as he swept the room with an analytical gaze. His eyes narrowed slightly as they settled on Heeseung, whose expression still retained that sharp calm only seen after a tense exchange.
— Wow... — Jongseong trailed off with a slow, calculated smile. — We've arrived at a good time, or have we missed something interesting?
Heeseung didn't answer immediately. Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his dark eyes scanning the space with a precision that suggested he was taking in every nuance in the air.
— What happened here? — Sunghoon persisted, his tone light but with a spark of genuine curiosity behind the question.
— Nothing relevant. So let's just focus our attention on whatever Jake has to show us. — Heeseung replied, his curt tone making it clear he had no intention of spilling the beans.
Without wasting any more time, the man Lee had mentioned got going; with a couple of quick gestures, Jake displayed a grainy image on his laptop screen. The figure of an individual in a dark hallway appeared, blurry but clear enough to capture the outlines of a man carrying a briefcase.
— This was captured by one of the security cameras while the system was under the control of the hack. —Jake explained, zooming in to make the figure more visible. It was only for a few seconds, during the sudden crash my system suffered while I was guiding Heeseung through the installation.
— And who's this? — Sunghoon asked, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed the image in front of them.
To which the laptop owner smiled broadly and shot a meaningful glance at Hee, then looked back at the first questioner. He added a key gesture to those glances; pretending to adjust his tie, he made them realize who it was. Sunghoon and Heeseung exchanged glances, understanding exactly what Sim was talking about.
— See, boss? I told you, the guy, beyond his visual assault with that stupid tie, never really gave me a good feeling. And I wasn't wrong. — Jake turned to the oldest of those present.
Who looked genuinely bewildered by such a revelation. He found it hard to believe that what started out as an innocent joke had actually hit the nail on the head. Even Sunghoon, who had also joined in on the joke at the time, seemed confused, but this fact.
— So, technically, it's like this... — the squad leader began, pausing dramatically to try to better connect the dots in his mind. — The first briefcase detected did end up being what was expected. A bomb that, for some reason, ended up in the hands of the guy with the tie. Whereas what we retrieved from that place, along with the criminals involved, was completely different.
Silence reigned once again as everyone present tried to weigh the thoughts in their heads, trying to channel what happened into the most congruent context.
— If the guy took the briefcase with the bomb, apparently deactivated at that point. Whereas the briefcase we managed to take contained the still-unidentified chemical, it only means that it was never really an alibi to blow up the building where the event was taking place. It was an exchange of corrupt goods. — Heeseung deduced skillfully.
— But there's still something that doesn't quite fit here — Jongseong added. — If that was the case, let's say the guy managed to sneak out of the VIP area where I was too, he would have done so at the moment I was trying to evade the two suspects who were after me. But then, how could he have made the exchange? Heeseung, you neutralized the other guys and with that, you got the briefcase that was taken as evidence. — after finishing his contribution, he turned to the others, who were also racking their brains trying to make sense of the whole thing.
It really all seemed to make no sense at all, which made them question whether it was really a mission handled fairly.
— Now that I think about it, and it still doesn't make sense. The entire exchange could have been executed during the seconds Jake was having trouble with the system — Sunghoon added. — Maybe the briefcase with the bomb never arrived at the same place Heeseung entered, but rather it could have been left at some key point, and what Hee intervened in was the subjects receiving their share of the exchange, and we always went after the wrong briefcase.
Everyone turned to look at the sniper, as his assumption didn't sound so far-fetched.
— Jake, didn't Young-Mi happen to bring an interrogation report with her? — Heeseung immediately questioned, to which the aforementioned quickly nodded and took out the document, leaving it on the desk. — Perfect. Jongseong, this is your task, and getting me the details later is a must. Jake, I want you to use your skills to find the identity of the subject who ended up taking the first briefcase. I'll be waiting.
With nothing else to add, he got up from his chair and left the office like a bat out of hell. This variant of the operation—although it might not seem like it—had him on edge. But his mind was also elsewhere, and he was going there.
【★】
The lively laughter of children echoed throughout the room, infecting you in the process. Children could be quite witty at times, which always helped make the outdoor art workshop in the gallery garden less boring for you. Your young apprentices had their own way of standing out, and you firmly believed that their little minds were more volatile and profound than an adult's. Their raw, innocent creativity and their interest in learning from you were incredible.
Until there came those moments when you'd rather everyone remained silent, and the curiosity of their constantly fluctuating little minds didn't get the best of them.
— Noona... — one of the younger ones suddenly alluded to you, to which you responded with a soft hum, letting him know he had your attention despite your gaze fixed on the small canvas in your hands. — Can love be expressed through painting?
The question caught you off guard, firstly because of its depth, despite being the inquiry of a child of only eight years old. Secondly, you knew that coming up with an answer, with the most appropriate words for someone of his age and understanding, would take a little extra effort.
— Love can be expressed in many ways, Jin-Seo — you begin in a simple and concise way, pausing momentarily to encourage the other person's anticipation, and then continuing with the formulation of your answer. — The most common way people express their love is by saying "I love you," because that way they are letting their opposite know that they feel love. But most people affirm that showing love goes beyond just putting it into words. There must also be actions and gestures that support the love you say you feel.
You thought they weren't paying attention to you until you looked up from the canvas and most of the little ones were staring at you intently, especially the one who asked the question. Maybe they were interested in your words, or just mesmerized by the gentle tone of your voice.
— So, with that in mind, consider that love could be expressed through painting. An example of this could be when you're painting and think of someone important, or like when you put something on canvas and want to give it to that person, or for that person to be the first to see it. — You added to your explanation, a kind of self-reflection, since while you were saying each word, there was only one person you could think of.
After a moment, everyone began to converse among themselves, while simultaneously continuing with their artistic activities. What you said earlier seemed to resonate with them; it amused you to see them talking about it, when many of them probably didn't understand anything.
— Someone whose art is abstract and profound also seems to have a mindset driven by the same patterns. — A male voice suddenly sounded behind you, causing you to flinch slightly. There was nothing familiar about that timbre.
Turning around in your position, you saw an expensive-looking man in a tight-fitting suit, his face sporting an expression of apparent delight, though you couldn't easily tell if it was due to your analogy, the children, or some deeper reason. You glanced quickly, searching for the relief bodyguard, who turned out to be out of position. You felt a touch of panic, but tried to approach the situation calmly.
— Excuse me, but this is a restricted area. The public is not allowed to enter unless I so permit. — You spoke firmly, leaving no room for argument. But the man didn't seem to be perturbed by your direct tone.
His smile, barely a subtle curl of his lips, remained intact as his eyes slowly scanned the scene in front of him. The precision with which he analyzed his surroundings alerted you; that kind of attention didn't befit a mere onlooker.
— I'm truly sorry for breaking the rules set by our miss — he said then, his tone laden with calculated difference. — But I couldn't contain my excitement… Nor could I miss the opportunity to see you work up close. It seemed like the closest way to fulfilling every loyal admirer's dream.
The term “loyal admirer” hung in the air, imbued with a weight you couldn't quite place. The way he had said it, with a disturbing mix of sincerity and reverence, sharpened your senses. Your fingers, still holding the paintbrush, twitched slightly as you searched your memory for any clue that might justify those words.
Suddenly, images began to emerge in your mind like a series of fleeting slides: that man's face appearing again and again among the crowds at every event, exhibition, and auction you had participated in. A constant but until now imperceptible presence, camouflaged among the attendees, among the shadows on the periphery, observing you with an insistence that, in retrospect, seemed chilling. And then, a name resonated in your thoughts like a distant but precise echo.
— Kang Hyun-Woo. — you said the name with a mixture of caution and certainty, carefully gauging his reaction.
The guy smiled. Not a casual or merely polite smile, but an expression filled with genuine and profound satisfaction, as if he had just received a long-awaited confirmation.
— It's quite an honor to be recognized. That an artist of your caliber not only remembers my name, but also captures my presence... that far exceeds my expectations. — His voice lowered a pitch, becoming more intimate, sharper.
— I couldn't miss the name of an elite buyer — you replied in a more neutral tone. Trying not to show your growing discomfort caused by his presence. — Although, I must admit, I would never think that a man like you, whose profession is linked to electronic systems and devices, would be an art enthusiast. — you add almost scathingly.
— Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, miss. You’d be surprised to know that art is also one of my passions — Such a statement is accompanied by hand gestures and somewhat exaggerated but measured expressions. It was strange, and even more so when I heard his next comment: — Or at least, I could say that it’s your art that fascinates me. Your pieces are simply exquisite, and each one is better than the last. — His idolization was simply on another level.
— Noona is a great painter. — one of the children suddenly spoke up, innocently intervening in this particular exchange. In fact, the sudden childish contribution brought an even wider smile to Kang's face.
— Right? She's simply the best painter of her generation, if not of all time. — he replied with satisfaction, turning to the little boy, who smiled at him as if nothing had happened.
You watched the scene in silence, thinking of a discreet way to get this guy dragged out and finally disturb the tranquility of your space. You didn't want anything too grotesque and inappropriate to happen in front of the children present. Before you could even begin to realize your thoughts and ideas, your savior arrived.
Heeseung glanced at you, then at the children sitting there painting. He knew he had to be careful with his actions, now that he had an audience of delicate little minds.
— Sir, I will ask you in the most peaceful way to accompany me to the exit. Users who violate the establishment's rules receive a penalty, and that will be your case. — He spoke in a measured voice, although the underlying severity was perceptible.
In a discreet movement, his hand closed around Hyun-Woo's wrist with a calculated pressure, enough to cause a subtle creaking in the joints. The other man's expression instantly tensed, his smile fading as his eyes widened with a mixture of disbelief and pain.
— I was just offering my admiration to the lady. I didn't mean to cause any trouble; my intentions are simply to personally pay my compliments to the artist who creates all the paintings hanging in my house. — Kang assured him, his tone forcedly calm, although the rigidity of his jaw and the hostility in his gaze toward Heeseung betrayed his pain and discontent.
Heeseung didn't let go of his wrist. The pressure of his fingers remained calculated, firm but not overtly violent, just enough to remind Hyun-Woo who was in control at the moment. His eyes remained sharp, cold, devoid of any trace of superficial courtesy.
— Admiration... — Heeseung repeated the word with a measured cadence, as if savoring it. — If that's the case, I would recommend that you limit your admiration to galleries, auction catalogs, and your acquisitions. Because if you again take on responsibilities that aren't yours... — He leaned in slightly, enough so that only Hyun-Woo could hear him. — I will make sure that your eyes never again know what it's like to look at one of my lady's works. — The tone was soft, almost intimate, but the implicit threat was unmistakable. The opponent sensed the weight of those words clearly, because his eyes narrowed slightly, and the line of his smile stiffened.
However, without letting him add anything else, Heeseung dragged him toward the exit, leaving you to continue the lessons with your young apprentices.
【★】
Your face lit up with excitement as you looked at the final results of your cute students' paintings. The secondary room of the gallery, designated for the workshop, was full of them, giving it a colorful and pleasant vibe, as they were displayed on the walls of the installation.
— They're getting better and better. — Heeseung comments, as he delights in watching your happy expression. And his delight doubled the moment you turned to him, flashing that wide smile of yours. You looked so proud.
— Yes, they really are. They already know so many more things and techniques than when the workshop started. They're incredible. — you boast proudly, as you walk around the room, eyeing each of your young apprentices' works.
Lee can't take his eyes off you, too entranced by the charm your person radiates, so naturally and effortlessly. Seeing you like this provokes so much in him, and he couldn't help himself, rising from the stool to discreetly approach you from behind. Once close, he leaned down to your level and fixed his gaze on the profile of your face, since you, for one, were too absorbed in those small paintings.
— Being taught by someone incredible can make you incredible too — he murmurs in an almost tender tone, a tone he would only allow himself to use with you. — Don't be so surprised. They're learning from you. It's obvious they'll end up being exceptional in the long run. Although... they'll never surpass their wonderful teacher. And if they do, I'll find a way to change that.
His words make a soft chuckle escape your lips; you couldn't help but find a certain amusement in the way this version of him contrasted so much with what many people see at first glance. The stoic and imposing man, whom many feared, became surprising sweet around you. Yet he still managed to make things more disconcerting when he had the chance, for example, his constant obsession with making you walk on clouds, only to then simply clip your wings, marking the limits of his professionalism.
— What's so funny? — he suddenly asks, looking at you with a frown, a clear manifestation of his confusion at your prolonged amusement.
— The fact that the mouth you use to shower me with praise is the same one that later utters words that break my heart, and also the same one that does nothing to finally meet mine. — you reply, your laughter gradually fading away and leaving your face with a more somber, almost expressionless expression.
You turn slowly, drawn almost instinctively to the source of that familiar, deep tension that usually surrounds you. Your eyes meet his, and the space between you shrinks to nothing. Your breaths mingle in the air that vibrates between you, heavy with something unspoken, something you both feel but that never quite materializes. His gaze, dark and penetrating, bores into yours, as if he could read every thought struggling to break free in your mind. But, as always, there's something holding him back. Something that prevents that line from finally being crossed.
Heeseung straightens with a barely perceptible sigh, his expression transforming into a mixture of resignation and regret. His eyes never leave yours for a second.
— I'm sorry — he murmurs in that deep, controlled voice that nevertheless betrays a hint of vulnerability. — I'm sorry for not being reckless enough to...
His voice trails off, but you understand perfectly what he's trying to say. That impulse to cross the line, to surrender to the inevitable, always clashes with his iron self-control.
— Save those words — you reply, your tone soft, but tinged with a tiredness that comes from the constant repetition of this same cycle. — It's always the same with you, Heeseung. The confusing signals, the words, the boundaries. — you add, taking a step back, intending to get away before that mix of desire and frustration ends up breaking something inside you.
But he reacts before you can. His hand catches your wrist in a swift, precise movement, and suddenly you feel him spin you around and propel you toward one of the tables. A small gasp escapes your lips when your body meets the cold surface, and before you can process it, he slides between your legs, occupying the space left by your labored breathing.
One of his hands rises with deliberate slowness to grasp your wrists and pin them behind your lower back. The other, however, rests on your jaw with a reverence that contradicts the firmness of his grip. His thumb brushes the line of your jaw, and the tension in his gaze is so palpable that you feel trapped in the dark abyss of his eyes.
— What do you mean by mixed signals? — he asks, his tone low and laden with something heavier than simple curiosity. His eyes darken even further when his thumb brushes over your skin in a gesture so intimate it takes your breath away. — Because as far as I know, I've made it very clear that I adore you. That you're my biggest weakness.
The intensity of his words makes your breath hitch and your heart race. But he doesn't pull away. Not this time.
— It's not just words. Words aren't enough if actions don't back them up, Lee Heeseung. — you whisper, your voice barely breaking as memories of the thoughtful response you gave Jin-Seo hours earlier during the workshop flood your mind.
He remains silent, but you can feel the tension in his body intensify. The conflict is evident in the way his eyes scan you, searching for something he perhaps can't even name.
— You're right. I can't go on without using actions to back up my words, can't I? — he asks rhetorically, looking at you with such intensity that it makes your heart flutter. That distinct glint in his gaze generates so much anticipation.
Then, with a slow, calculated movement, you see him lean toward you. His nose brushes yours, and his lips barely touch yours, so close yet so far away. The promise implicit in that touch sends a shiver down your spine. Your breath catches between you, and the moment seems stretched to the limit, on the verge of breaking at any second. But just as the chasm between you is about to close completely, a loud crash interrupts the moment.
Fire alarms and other people's screams echo through the gallery's main hall, scything the air with their piercing, urgent sound. Heeseung jerks away, going to look through the window. You can barely process what just happened as the sound of sirens continues to echo in your ears, marking the abrupt end of a moment that nearly redefined everything, and at the same time the beginning of what could be considered the most heartbreaking catharsis of your life.
— Tell me it's not what I think it is... — you say fearfully, your voice barely above a whisper, as you approach the same window where Heeseung is looking out.
He turns in your direction, his expression indecipherable to the naked eye, and that only seems to disconcert you. Drawing strength from where you didn't know you had it, you push him aside and finally look out the window. The burning glow in the distance is reflected in your gaze, tears flowing as so many years of your life flash before your eyes. Everything that defined you, all your achievements, goals, and dreams come true, were burning.
Your impulsiveness led you to stumble out of the back room, running in the direction where the fire had already spread. People ran desperately toward the emergency exit, while you headed straight for the heart of the fire. Your clouded, thoughtless mind made you see the scene as if it were unfolding in slow motion. The flames rose mercilessly, burning the infrastructure and everything in their path. The smoke alarms continued to blare, along with the terrified screams of the people. All of it became the soundtrack to such a tragedy.
Before you could enter, you felt yourself being pulled forcefully. You didn't bother to look at who it was; you didn't need to, and your brain certainly wasn't at its full capacity to stop and check that it was Heeseung.
— You can't go in there! The structure could collapse at any moment! — he exclaimed, flustered, and dragged you backward, away from the risk zone, pulling your body in the direction of the emergency exit in the garden.
— My paintings… I have to go get them… — your response comes out automatically, which is how your mind was working. Or at least it did until emotions took over and your screams deafened the eardrums of the man holding you. — Let me go, Heeseung! My whole world and life is in there, I have to go get my things! — you shout, abruptly twisting in Lee’s arms, struggling to make him release his firm grip on you and let you go rescue your precious creations.
But he doesn’t budge, and he wasn’t planning on doing so…
— There’s no point in you doing this! — he growls through gritted teeth, resisting your abrupt, almost aggressive movements, trying to neutralize them. — You can paint new paintings, you can acquire new materials and so on. All of those things are replaceable. But you aren’t! I won’t have another you if I let you go all the way there and put your life at risk! So don't ask me to let you go, because I'm not going to. — he declares resolutely, leaving no room for argument.
Without even giving you the chance to insist a little further, he easily lifts you up and throws you over his shoulder to carry you out of that place. As you walk toward the exit, you look around, watching the fire spread even to the secondary room, the same one that housed the creations of your young apprentices, their first steps into art, all those pleasant memories accumulating in your mind at that very moment. And soon, just as Heeseung had predicted, the structure began to collapse, yielding to the intensity of the fire, causing a resounding roar. Thus marking the extinction of that place you had forged with so much effort and taken to the top. It was the end of your world, the death of a part of you that might never be the same again.
【★】
Your gaze remained fixed on the table in front of you, but you weren't really looking at it. The cold metal beneath your fingers seeped into your skin, chilling you to the bone, but even that couldn't shake you out of that lethargic state. The voices around you were only a distant murmur, a background noise that faded before reaching your mind. All that remained was that dense, overwhelming emptiness that gripped your chest like a claw.
The sound of heels clicking firmly against the floor pulled you out of that mental fog. The echo spread through the room like a warning, each step calculated and confident, until the figure of a woman appeared in the doorway. Beautiful, impeccably dressed in a dark suit that accentuated her slender figure. Her hair was tied back with precision, not a single strand out of place. Her presence radiated authority and coldness.
Without saying a word, she pulled a badge from her jacket and placed it on the table, the scrape of plastic against metal breaking the awkward silence. You glanced at it only out of reflex, your eyes sliding over the engraved letters before she spoke.
— Seo Young-Mi. Prosecutor in charge of your case. — Her tone was direct, firm, but not lacking in subtle professional kindness.
You didn't respond. Your gaze had already shifted toward the tinted glass at the side of the room. You knew Heeseung was there. You felt it. That strange warmth that only he could make you feel, even in the midst of a disaster, was there, piercing the chill of the room. You could almost imagine his expression, the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers were probably clutching his own arms to keep from intruding into the room.
Young-Mi settled into the chair opposite you, crossing her legs with innate elegance. She rested her elbows on the table and interlaced her fingers. Her eyes scanned you carefully, reading every microexpression on your face.
— I know this might be difficult... — she began, softening her tone a little more, in an attempt to show some empathy, even if it was professional.
— But I need you to answer a few questions so we can continue the investigation. The interrogation will be recorded. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you have the right to stop it.
Your hands clenched in your lap. The lump in your throat thickened, making it difficult to breathe. Young-Mi slid a notebook and pen across the table, waiting patiently.
— Let's start from the beginning — she continued, striking a posture that denoted her interest and attention. — What was the first thing you saw when the fire started?
A chill ran down your spine. The image of the fire burst into your mind with painful clarity: the flames devouring the walls, the air saturated with smoke and screams. The suffocating sensation of heat on your skin. The panic. The emptiness.
— It wasn't much... When the fire started, I was busy in the gallery's secondary room. I didn't find out about the fire until it was already well underway and the alarms went off. — you answered effortlessly, your voice coming out weak and ragged. Your breathing became erratic, your shoulders trembled.
Young-Mi didn't press that point further. He just jotted something down in his notebook and moved on to the next question. The rest of the conversation passed in a blurry stream of words and short answers, your mind disconnecting from each sentence as soon as it was spoken. All you really felt was that feeling of being watched through glass.
Finally, Young-Mi closed the notebook and slid it to the side.
— That will suffice for now. Thank you for your cooperation, and I'm sorry for your situation. — she concluded, his professional tone resurfacing. He stood with mechanical elegance, smoothing the wrinkles in his jacket as he headed for the door.
No sooner had he left the room than the door opened again... and this time it was him who entered.
Heeseung crossed the threshold with confident steps, but his expression was thick with tension. His gaze scanned your face, searching for something in your dull eyes that probably wasn't there. Without saying anything, he crouched down in front of you and held your face in his hands, his gentleness contrasting with the strength of his grip.
— Hey, you handled it well, princess. — he murmured in a surprisingly sweet tone, his thumb gently caressing your cheek in an attempt to comfort you.
Your throat tightened. A tremor ran through your lips as you leaned into his touch, letting the warmth of his skin seep into your own coldness. You closed your eyes, resting your cheek on his palm. His touch was the only thing that managed to stabilize the turmoil of internal chaos.
— Get me out of here, please, take me home... — you whispered, your voice breaking at the end of the sentence.
Heeseung took a deep breath. His fingers slid along your jawline, holding you as if he feared you might crumble at any moment.
— There's something I must do first, and then I can take you to rest. Do you think you can wait for me? It won't take too long, I promise. — he replied gently, though his gaze darkened with a mixture of guilt and resolve.
You didn't have the strength to argue, so you simply nodded slightly, your eyes narrowing as he leaned in a little closer and pressed a brief, warm kiss to your forehead.
When he made a move to withdraw, you didn't hesitate. You stood up almost reflexively, your footsteps following his without him having to ask. The door closed behind you with a hollow sound, but you focused only on the figure walking in front of you, his shoulders tense and his gait firm. It didn't matter where he went or what he had to do. In that moment, all you needed was to be near him.
The sound of your footsteps echoed empty in the cold hallways as you followed Heeseung, who walked with a firm, confident stride, as if everything that had happened was just a passing cloud already dissipating in his mind. However, the weight of what he had experienced continued to crush your chest. The images of the fire, the anguish of seeing your world reduced to ashes, remained stuck to your skin, like a ghost. But you couldn't show any of that. He was there, by your side, and all you could do was keep up with him, hoping his presence would soothe some of the pain inside you.
As you reached a particular door, Heeseung stopped without warning, turning to face you. The softness in his gaze didn't go unnoticed, despite the tension surrounding him.
— Please stay here. — he said in a voice that brooked no argument. Though he didn't speak loudly, there was something in his authority that made it clear: you couldn't follow him any further.
However, the way his eyes lingered on yours for a second, as if he were trying to say something without words, made you feel a strange mix of comfort and despair. You nodded wordlessly, as if your strength could no longer rebel. He had always been the one who led the way, the one who took the reins, and though that sometimes frustrated you, in that moment, you needed him.
— I won't be long. — Was the only thing she said before disappearing behind the door with the soft creak of the wood closing. You stood there, staring at the closed door.
It wasn't that you didn't want to wait. It was that you didn't know what else to do with your life, now that everything you'd built seemed to be crumbling around you. You headed to one of the nearby chairs, searching for something to anchor you to the present, even a minimal distraction. Your eyes fell to the floor, to the reflection of the light that slipped through the walls, seeking some solace in your surroundings.
The creaking of heels interrupted your trance, and you looked up to find Young-Mi walking in your direction with calculated elegance. Her bearing wasn't so distant, but there was something in her gait that told you she wasn't a woman you could ask for too much. Somehow, she sat down next to you with a naturalness that surprised you, and before you could react, she was already there, by your side.
— Oh, you're still here. — she pointed out, her voice soft but curious, the weight of the situation not allowing her to change the tone of her question.
You didn't know what to answer, so you just stared at the floor for a moment, not wanting to burden her with your thoughts.
— Yes, I'm waiting for Heeseung. — you murmured, barely able to raise your voice. As if saying her name would lighten something that was worrying you, even for a moment.
Young-Mi, who was watching your movements closely, nodded slowly, unhurriedly, as if she had already expected a similar answer. She didn't pressure you or insist, something that, without knowing why, relaxed you slightly. Instead, she remained there, still, waiting silently.
Shortly after, he broke the silence, with a gentle demeanor and something she might have considered the perfect opportunity to speak.
— I must tell you something, taking advantage of the fact that I finally have the pleasure of seeing you in person, — she began, in the same gentle voice, as if she were opening a window in the middle of a storm. — Heeseung talks a lot about you, about how incredible your art is. He says you're able to convey what others can't, that every brushstroke is filled with emotion, something... unique.
Your eyes, they rose toward her, even though you didn't want to listen. You didn't want someone talking to you about your art, not in this place, not after what had happened. However, Young-Mi continued calmly, unbothered by the silence that enveloped you.
— I visited your gallery once. And I confess that what Heeseung said isn't an exaggeration. Your work has something special. — She paused, observing your face with curiosity, perhaps trying to understand your distance.
At that moment, the pain of loss crept into your chest again, stronger. It wasn't just the fire anymore. It was the disappearance of something that was a part of you. But with the same calm with which she had begun, Young-Mi leaned toward you, as if understanding something beyond words.
— I understand this isn't the best time to talk about it, but I wanted you to know. — she said softly, looking at you with some empathy and a certain regret. To which you simply remained silent.
The lump in your throat was so tight you couldn't speak. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, all you managed to utter was a brief, if somewhat empty, response.
— Thank you — you replied softly, your lips sealed in a forced smile, devoid of any real emotion. Had it been any other circumstance, things would definitely be different. — But... Please, I'd prefer you not talk about the gallery anymore. Not even about that.
Young-Mi nodded, making no further comment, as if she respected you more than you could express. In an act of tacit understanding, she remained silent, giving you the space you needed.
Elsewhere, inside the room, the conversation between Heeseung and Jongseong continued:
— The fire is under control, but the evidence still doesn't seem clear. The teams are still checking, but we have to wait to see what else can be found, — Jongseong commented, pointing at some notes on the table. — Hopefully, we'll be able to better understand what happened once we have Jake to review the recordings from the other side of the location.
— Okay, keep me updated on that. I'll be on the lookout, Lee replied, his tone firm and serious.
— I made sure they prioritized this case. For you… and for her — he added, a hint of respect in his voice. Heeseung looked up, his dark eyes reflecting a glimmer of recognition and gratitude. — Also, here are the details of the past mission and its loose ends, too. — Heeseung stated, extending a document to the major, who took it.
— Thanks, Jong. — Was all he said, but Jongseong understood the true weight behind that word.
Without another word, Heeseung pushed himself away from the table and left the room. His eyes instantly found your figure, sitting next to Young-Mi. The prosecutor spoke in a low voice, but as soon as she saw him leave the room, she stood up with a slight nod and walked into the room from which the other party had emerged.
Your gaze met his, and without needing to say a word, you stood up and approached. He looked at you with that mixture of concern and tenderness that had become so persistent in recent hours, and without hesitation, he touched your cheek with his fingertips.
— Ready to go? — he asked gently, his tone more like a whisper than a question. You just nodded. And when he took your hand, you allowed him to lead you out of that room.
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When you truly care about someone, the last thing you want is to experience the pain of seeing them suffer, but... How do you make someone stop suffering like that? That was the question Heeseung had been constantly asking himself over the past few weeks, ever since the day of the fateful fire that took away what you loved most. He's done nothing but divide his responsibilities between his work as an agent and watching you deal with what could be considered the deepest depression he's ever seen you experience. And yes, he's seen you go through many bad times, but this, this was beyond comparison; even he could sense that.
Of course, as your bodyguard, he genuinely cares; after all, ensuring your well-being is his job. But, in his role as the man who so adores your existence, he'd been racking his brain trying to come up with something to help you cope or completely alleviate your current discomfort. But whatever he could come up with, the first step would be to get you out of your room…
Heeseung entered the house with firm but silent steps. The sunlight filtering through the windows filled the entryway with a soft, golden glow, bathing everything around him in a warm glow. His eyes scanned the room, pausing at the foot of the stairs as he looked longingly up to the upper floor. Without wasting a single second, he climbed up there, making his way towards your room.
He carefully opened your door, and just as he expected, upon entering, he found you sleeping soundly. Your cold, dark bedroom somehow radiated the sadness that dwelled within you, the same sadness he'd so frequently witnessed in your eyes these past few days. With light steps, he approached, reached for the nightstand beside your bed, and turned on the small lamp he knew was there. As he did so, it cut through the darkness in the room, and the first thing he saw was your face twist into an expression of disgust, clearly due to the light that suddenly shone directly into your face.
He smiled inwardly, finding your gesture so adorable. Then he simply crouched to the side and reached up to brush away a few strands of hair that had fallen into your face. He also ran his thumb between your eyebrows, gently caressing the area until your frown relaxed and your peaceful expression returned. Seeing you like this, he felt warmth flood his chest and a subtle tingling in his stomach. He liked you so much, there was no doubt about it, he couldn't deny it to himself, not even if he tried.
— Princess, the sun's up. Time to wake up. — His voice echoed in a soft murmur, trying not to be too rude when waking you up. And he succeeded; he saw you open one eye and then close it again.
— So what... am I going to photosynthesize or something? — you replied in a sleepy, deep voice, as you shifted between the sheets, shifting positions, now facing him with your back to him.
Perplexed, he admired your sleeping form for a few seconds; sometimes he forgot how sharp your tongue could be. Choosing not to be defeated, he straightened up to walk to the window and, mentally praying that you wouldn't insult him, he slid the curtains aside, causing the room to fill with the warm light of day.
— Lee Heeseung, close that fucking curtain and let me sleep in peace! — Your annoyed voice echoed in the bedroom, and he could only laugh as he watched you cover yourself from head to toe with the blanket.
— Get up, miss. You've got a busy day ahead of you today — he replied, half-amused and half-firm, reaching over to tug at your blanket. But you were more reluctant, clinging to it and not letting him move it. — Come on, I really have a good day planned for you. Get out of bed. — he added, his tone so insistent it seemed almost like a plea. But even that didn't stop him from struggling with the blanket.
— Let go of the fucking blanket, and I'll get up voluntarily. — you said, finally peeking your head out, giving him an annoyed look. To which he raised an eyebrow at you, not trusting your word.
— How do I know this isn't some trick on your part? — he inquires, momentarily giving up on pulling at the soft material, but not completely letting go.
— First, because I would never refuse a plan with you. Second, because you're stronger than me, and if you keep pulling at this thing, you'll end up taking it off and discovering that my panties are the only thing I'm wearing right now. — you warn, somewhat annoyed. And that last reason was enough for her to finally let go of the blanket without further struggle and walk away.
Obviously, she was upset to hear such a revelation, but she made an effort to act normal and maintain her composure.
— Okay, then... go get ready. I'll wait for you downstairs. — She excused herself somewhat nervously and then simply left the room, giving you some privacy.
【★】
The crunch of gravel under your boots mingled with the dry echo of bullets hitting the targets. The warmth of the sun filtered through the scattered clouds, enveloping the training grounds in an atmosphere filled with tension and constant noise. Gunshots rang through the air, some sharper than others, followed by the metallic crackle of bullets hitting their targets. You walked at a steady pace, but not without casting annoyed glances around, clearly annoyed by the surroundings you found yourself in.
— Really? It wasn't enough for you to force me to get up early, and now I also have to endure this hellish sun? — you muttered, pushing back a strand of hair that the wind had blown across your face.
Heeseung, walking slightly ahead of you, turned his head with a lopsided smile, the one you knew so well and that, unfortunately for you, always managed to disarm you.
— If you keep complaining, I'll make you walk around the training grounds until you forget how to complain. — His tone was light, but his eyes held a hint of mischief that made you frown.
— You wouldn't dare. — you blurted out, with a mixture of disbelief and veiled threat. For his part, Heeseung just laughed softly, a low sound that somehow shook you.
— You think so? — he retorted, tilting his head to one side.
You shot him a dirty look, but before you could continue reproaching him, he raised a hand and pointed toward a farther part of the field, where a covered structure stood.
— Don't worry, you won't be under the sun. Let's go to target practice. — he added simply.
You stopped abruptly, your eyebrows raising in surprise as you turned your head to him.
— Target practice? — you repeated, almost unable to believe it. Heeseung nodded, watching you with that serene yet penetrating expression that always made you feel like he could read your every thought.
— You once said you were curious about what it felt like to shoot a gun," he explained matter-of-factly, as if it were the most casual comment in the world. "I thought this would be a good opportunity.
You continued staring at him, trying to remember when you'd said that. And then you remembered. It had been during a casual conversation, one random night in your living room, while he was cleaning his gun after returning from a mission. You had quietly mentioned that you'd always been curious about that sensation: the weight of the gun in your hands, the vibration of the recoil, the dry sound of the shot breaking the air. It had been a fleeting confession, something you never thought he'd actually take into account.
— How do you still remember that? — you asked, your tone softening without you even realizing it. Heeseung shrugged, shifting his gaze to the field for a second before looking back at you.
— I always listen to you. Even when it's things you say quietly, or details that don't seem important to you, but are to me — he replied with a hint of sincerity that lodged itself in your chest. He paused for a second, his gaze softening. — I can't help it."
You were speechless, feeling a warm surge of emotion lodge itself in your core. But before you could formulate a response, he took a few steps further into the facility, and you had to jog to catch up.
The atmosphere changed as soon as they walked through the door into the shooting range. The sound of gunfire became more subdued, muffled by the thick walls of the structure. Several paper targets were lined up at the end of a long, narrow hallway, pierced by holes of varying sizes. The metallic scent of gunpowder wafted through the air, thick and pungent.
Heeseung approached a table where an arsenal of weapons rested and picked up a sleek, black pistol, along with a pair of protective headphones and goggles. With fluid movements, he picked up the weapon and checked the magazine before extending it to you, offering it to you with a calm but expectant expression.
— Ready to try it? — His tone was gentle, but his eyes sparkled with a hint of anticipation, perhaps excited to see you experience something new, something that wasn't quite your style.
You hesitated for a second, your eyes scanning the polished line of the weapon and then returning to his face. You couldn't help but feel a slight chill run down your spine at the thought of holding a real gun. But when you saw the confidence in the way he looked at you, something inside you settled.
— What if I miss? — you murmured, taking the gun gently, feeling its cold weight in your hands.
Heeseung took a step closer, helping you put on the protective gear, then wrapping his hands around yours to adjust the grip. The warmth of his fingers on your skin made you feel a tingle that spread to the base of your neck. He parted your legs with his foot, straightening your back properly.
— You don't have to get it right away. Just trust me, you'll see you won't get bored. Besides, even I didn't get it right the first time, so no pressure, princess. — he assured calmly, his voice just inches from your ear as he positioned himself behind you to help you calibrate and lock onto the target in front of you.
Only, as expected, the closeness and pressure of his body against yours, his hands on your waist, his warm breath caressing your cheek, and his low, raspy voice— These were enough to make you nervous, so much so that your hands were trembling slightly. And unfortunately for you, Lee noticed.
— If you keep shaking like that, you're definitely not going to hit the shot. — he whispered huskily at the edge of your ear, causing an electric current to travel along your spinal cord.
— Then get out of the way and let me do it on my own. — you replied defensively, trying to hide your nervousness. Heeseung glanced at you and just smiled, giving no indication that he was planning to leave you.
— I'm your bodyguard. I'm literally watching your back to keep you steady in case the force of the shot pushes you back. — His response was accompanied by a readjustment of his grip on your waist. However, you ignored him, simply focusing on the target in front of you, maintaining your position and your gaze fixed forward. — Okay, this is a good position, pull the trigger when you feel ready. — he adds, and no sooner had he finished speaking than the first shot you fired.
The bullet, to the surprise of even the man behind you, actually hit the target. You soon heard a contemplative whistle, and even applause from him.
— I guess it was beginner's luck on my side. — you hasten to comment, hoping to preempt any praise your precious attorney was already thinking of heaping.
— Beginner's luck or not, that was incredible, Princess. It was very natural. Do you want to try it again? — he asks, and with a quick nod you respond, then get into position.
And so it was a second time, and several more times you continued shooting, missing and hitting, but especially enjoying the activity and Heeseung's company. It wasn't something you'd thought you'd enjoy doing, but it was quite therapeutic… somehow, and it helped improve your mood. It was stress-relieving and exciting at the same time. Besides, if there was one thing particularly remarkable about all this, it was seeing Heeseung more open-minded, less stoic and proper.
Eventually, once you'd finished emptying a second cartridge, you began to take off your earmuffs and glasses, handing everything to Heeseung, along with the gun, for him to sort through. You'd had enough; you were even a little tired now that the adrenaline rush was starting to wear off.
— So what next? What else is on the itinerary? — you asked, as you both walked back to the facility's exit.
Then, once you're outside, Heeseung suddenly stops in his tracks and looks at you. There's a slight hint of suggestiveness gleaming in his eyes. That detail doesn't go unnoticed, as does the way he then shifts his attention and gaze toward the rustic training ground not far from you.
— You're going to run ten laps around the field. — His voice and expression, at first glance, reveal apparent seriousness, and after his declaration, he suddenly adopts a firm, almost strict stance. — It's required to unlock the next activi-
Before he could add anything else, you were already running toward the car, dramatically shouting "No," with a prolonged "No," causing the older man to burst out laughing as he watches you struggle to open the door, trying to escape from him and his plan, which was nothing more than a joke. He just wanted to test the waters, see what kind of reaction he'd get from you, and without a doubt, the result was endearing.
【★】
On such a hectic day, which started early, filled with fun activities, delicious food, and moments you'd surely remember forever, the mix of warm orange and red hues was finally beginning to settle in the sky. A few clouds embraced the sun, as if wishing to bid it farewell as it set, the afternoon felt so light. You were tired, yes, but no less happy. You couldn't even remember the last time you'd deviated so abruptly from your routine.
And now you understood why people say it's always good to try and do new things.
Heeseung had put so much effort into it, everything so perfectly planned, from the places you visited, which were one better than the last. You'd never seen beyond the same old streets, you'd missed out on much of the charm of your own city, but thanks to him, that had changed. Besides, the day, although well-planned around you, had also had the opportunity to explore new shades and nuances in the man who dedicated his entire day off to trying to make you feel good and smile again.
During the depressive episode triggered by the loss of the gallery after the fire, you hadn't been aware of how much you'd truly shut down. You'd been so depressed that even making art at home didn't cheer you up. But with this change of scenery, and Heeseung taking matters into his own hands, everything seemed better.
— Are you falling asleep, or why do you suddenly seem so quiet? — His warm voice suddenly cut through the silence inside the car, interrupting your thoughts and recollections of the day. — We're not done yet. I need you with energy for a little longer, okay? — he added, simultaneously patting your thigh gently to wake you up.
The soft noise of the engine filled the silence between you, providing a momentary calm before you decided to say something.
— I'm not one for surprises, and yet here I am, inwardly excited about whatever the man I like so much has prepared to cheer me up. — A soft murmur is your response, as you look out the car window. The city flashed by outside the windows, a blur of light and shadow.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at your murmur. He knew you didn't like surprises, but he also knew that, deep down, you appreciate the effort and thought that goes into them.
— Just wait and see, okay? I promise you won't regret it. — he stated, casting a fond but brief glance at your facial profile.
After what seemed like a torturous eternity, the car was finally being parked on a sidewalk; Heeseung hurried to get out and walk around the vehicle, going to your side to open the door and carefully help you out of the passenger seat.
— What's this? — you asked almost automatically, confusion surfacing now that you were both standing outside what at first glance appeared to be a well-decorated establishment, with modern designs and structures. Heeseung didn't bother to clarify your growing doubts, just took your hand and led you inside.
The place was divided into two floors: The first floor had a reception area and was a spacious, well-lit facility. You took a thorough look around, scanning the place and seeing how it stirred certain feelings in you.
— Let's go upstairs, that's where the real important part is. — Without giving you a second to react, he was already taking your hand and leading you upstairs to the second floor.
The first thing you noticed when you entered the place was the available space. Then your gaze inevitably fell on the things in that area. It was equipped with tables piled with all kinds of art materials, from canvases to easels, which were clearly new. And the walls were blank, presenting a different kind of canvas. It was like your old studio, maybe bigger.
With tears in your eyes, you turned to look at him. Vulnerability and a host of indescribable emotions radiating in your eyes.
— Please, don't tell me you... — You couldn't even finish your sentence without your voice breaking.
He saw the emotions reflected on his face and how your voice caught in your throat. His heart contracted with happiness and worry at the same time.
— Yes, I did — he admitted softly, leaning closer so he could admire your beautiful eyes up close. — I know everything you lost that day. Your art, your space, your identity as an artist, and- — He couldn't finish either, but in his case, it was because you interrupted him.
— Are you telling me you really bought this place? — you inquire, immediately looking at him with wide eyes, at the same time bringing your hands to your mouth, covering it in excitement and surprise.
He nods, never taking his gaze from yours. He could see the surprise and gratitude in your eyes, and it made his heart swell with affection.
— Yes, that's exactly what I did. I was truly so excited. I wanted to give you a place to call your own again, a space where you could create, be inspired, and heal.
— You shouldn't have done something like that. — you complain, slightly embarrassed, but no less moved and grateful for his empathy and support.
With excitement, you set about exploring the place. The tables with materials. They had the exact brands of paint you'd always used. The brushes and everything else were also from brands and designs you loved so much. And damn, you felt like your heart was going to burst with how fast it was beating, your emotions so intensely on edge, realizing that he'd really put so much care and effort into giving you back what has defined you so much in life and in your artistic career.
He followed you as you explored the space, watching you discover the carefully chosen materials. He knew your preferences down to the smallest detail: the specific brand of paint, the type of brushes you preferred, even the specific texture of the canvas you liked the most.
— You shouldn't be too surprised that I hit the nail on the head — he murmured, suddenly interrupting your exploration and capturing your full attention. He leaned a little closer, his voice low and gentle, adding, — I did a lot of research. I wanted you to feel at home, like in your old studio. Every detail was chosen with you in mind. — He paused momentarily, his eyes searching yours before adding, — I want you to be happy again, here.
— Hey, an art studio isn’t exactly cheap to create, — you reply, embarrassed at the sudden reminder of reality. — I’ll pay you back when I get the chance. — you assert resolutely, but he just laughs softly, shaking his head.
— Don’t even think about it. It’s not a loan, it’s a gift. I have more than enough resources, and seeing you happy and painting again is worth every penny I spent on this place. — he replies, looking at you seriously, trying to emphasize his firmness and refusal to accept anything in return.
A lump suddenly formed in your throat, the feeling of comfort filling you completely, as did a deep appreciation for the other.
— You’re so good to me. — you murmur softly, avoiding his gaze, tears welling up in your eyes.
It was then that Heeseung leaned closer. His finger trailed under your chin with a touch so gentle it made the air thicken between you. He forced your gaze up, and your eyes locked with his, dark and charged with an emotion so raw it almost made your knees weak. His voice, low and drawling, vibrated with an emotional depth that seemed to take even him by surprise.
— You don’t know how much your smile and wholeness mean to me. For once, accept something without arguing or thinking you owe it to someone. — he whispered, and the way his eyes gave you no respite made heat rise up your neck.
The tone of his voice and the intensity in his gaze shot through you like a shock. You felt your lungs gasp for air as, from one second to the next, he lifted you up with alarming ease. Your legs reflexively wrapped around his waist, your arms slid around his neck as his hands held you with a firmness that shook your senses. The way he held you, with that mixture of urgency and need, made something inside you clench.
The rapid beat of his chest vibrated against yours, the heat of his body penetrating the layers of clothing. His breathing, rapid and ragged, brushed your ear as his lips lowered just to the crook of your neck, but didn't quite touch you. His self-control hung by a thread; you felt it in the tension of his muscles, in the way his fingers dug lightly into the skin of your back.
— Thank you for this and for everything you've done or do for me. — you mumbled, your voice breathy and shaky against his ear.
His response was to wrap his arms more tightly around you, burying his face in your neck as he breathed in your scent with a depth that made you shudder. His body visibly relaxed, as if simply holding you like that had broken down the last barriers he'd kept standing. But the way his hands slowly ran down your back, up the line of your spine with almost tortuous precision, made it clear he wasn't completely calm.
— You're wonderful... — you murmured against his cheek as your fingers moved up to his face.
You held his face in your hands and let your thumbs brush over the warm skin of his cheeks. Heeseung closed his eyes for a second, leaning into your touch as if he needed it to keep breathing. When he opened them again, his pupils were dilated, and a dark shadow crossed the depths of his gaze. There was emotion there, something pure, brutal, and blatantly transparent that made you press closer to him.
— Don't look at me like that. — you stammered, feeling the blush spread across your face and the tension growing between you like an electric field.
But he didn't look away. On the contrary, his eyes slid slowly over your face, lingering on the line of your lips, on the trembling of your lips.
The sound of your breathing. His hand moved to your cheek, his thumb tracing a slow, delicate path over the flushed skin of your cheekbone. His smile was faint, almost dangerous.
— Like what? Like I'm looking at the person who means more to me than anything else in this world? — His words were a knife-edge to your chest, each one imbued with devastating conviction.
Your breathing became erratic. Your fingers descended to his neck, and you felt the tension vibrating beneath your touch.
— Please don't say things that make my heart race, only to break it when you decide to return to your usual limits. — you warned him, your voice thick with vulnerability and exhaustion. You didn't want to go through the same old cycle, not this time.
Heeseung slowly shook his head, a dark, intense smile on his lips. He carried you in his arms until you were sitting on the cold surface of a table, his hands resting on either side of your hips, enclosing you between his body and the wood beneath you. He lowered his head until his forehead touched yours, his labored breathing hitting your parted lips.
— What if I told you this isn't one of those times? That no more limits and reality checks. — His voice was a harsh whisper, each word heavy with intent.
— Don't just say it, prove it. — your words came out as a challenge, an attempt to encourage him to move forward, while your eyes were fixed on his.
So, Heeseung didn't hesitate any longer. He closed the distance and his lips crashed against yours in a kiss overflowing with pent-up hunger. The pressure of his mouth was immediate and possessive, his tongue sliding between your lips with a confident, brazen rhythm that stole your breath.
Your response was automatic; Your arms closed tightly around his neck as your fingers tangled in his hair. The way he deepened the kiss, with calculated movements and almost absurd precision, sent a shudder down your stomach and resonated in your belly. A strangled moan escaped your throat as his hands moved down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. He separated his lips from yours, only to trail them down your jawline, leaving a series of open kisses that burned directly into your skin. His tongue traced the outline of your neck, followed by a bite hard enough to leave you trembling.
— I really waited so long for this. — Your breathing was shallow, your chest rising and falling rapidly as your fingers closed in his hair, unconsciously tugging at the strands.
— Too long. — he agreed, his voice vibrating against your skin.
— Are you going to make it up to me? — You gasped, your lips brushing against his as you spoke.
Heeseung laughed against your neck, his deep chuckle sending vibrations straight to your core.
—I'm going to make it up to you for every agonizing moment of holding back. — he stated with unwavering certainty, his hands trailing down the curve of your back to your hips.
His mouth returned to yours, this time with relentless intensity. He kissed you with hunger and need as his hands slid beneath the fabric of your shirt. The way his fingers grazed the bare skin of your back made your body arch toward him, seeking more, needing more.
— Too many clothes~ — he whispered against your mouth, and before you could respond, his hands moved up to undo the barrier of fabric with one precise motion, and with that same expertise, he unclasped your bra, setting it aside, discarded along with your shirt.
The way his eyes slowly scanned the exposed skin made heat shoot through your core.
— And I made sure to dress lightly. — you reply teasingly, your lips curving into a suggestive smile as your eyes bore into his.
— Clever girl. — he murmurs, a spark of approval in his eyes. His fingers skim your waist before sliding to the button of your jeans. With unnerving skill, he unbuttons it and hooks his thumbs into the fabric, pulling with a fluid, confident motion.
He slides the jeans down your hips, his pace slow, almost reverential. His fingers brush your skin on the way down, generating a fiery tingle that makes you catch your breath. But he doesn't rush. He pauses to kneel and slowly unbutton your boots, each touch leaving a trail of heat over your skin. Once your jeans fall to the floor, his eyes scan the image of you in nothing but your panties. His breathing becomes heavy and ragged, while his gaze darkens with need.
— Fuck... — he exhales, his pupils dilated as he devours you with his eyes. — I knew you'd look beautiful, but... this is beyond my wildest dreams.
His husky voice fills the air between you, laden with an adoration that sends shivers down your spine. His fingers trace the curve of your thigh, barely a touch, as he seems to debate whether to continue or surrender to you.
— I'm debating whether to touch you or kneel and worship you because you truly are a goddess... My goddess. — he declares with an intensity that makes you shudder involuntarily, his eyes anchored to yours as a malicious smile curves your lips. The way you smile, as if he owned you completely, only fuels the fire in his gaze.
Without breaking eye contact, you lie down on the table, stretching with a slowness that borders on sensual. The cold wood beneath your back contrasts with the heat burning on your skin. You display yourself before him without a trace of shame, and the gleam in his eyes, darkened by desire, makes you shudder.
He begins to unbutton his shirt. His fingers work with deliberate slowness, revealing every inch of taut, firm skin. In the dim light, you begin to notice the subtle scars that adorn his torso, silent traces of a past filled with battles and danger. They're old, fading with time, but still visible enough to tell stories without words. And somehow, that only makes him more attractive. Every mark, every line on his skin is proof of his strength, his dedication, and the knowledge of everything he's endured awakens in you an even more intense desire.
When the shirt falls to the floor, his breathing is harsh, his chest rising and falling sharply. His hands move down to his belt, but before he can do anything else, you slowly sit up, as if some invisible force is pulling you towards him.
— Wait, I want to help. — you offer, your voice laden with a low, seductive tone.
You approach him and, with a mischievous smile, replace his hands with yours. Your fingers slide over the leather, unbuckling his belt with a sensuality that renders him completely immobile. His breathing becomes heavier, his jaw tense as he watches your every move.
— You're making it difficult to maintain any semblance of gentlemanly behavior. — he whispers, his hands returning to your hips, trapping you in a touch as subtle as it is charged with intent.
— I don't want to seem too innocent... — you murmur softly as your fingers slide down the loop of his jeans, undoing the button with deliberate precision. The zipper slides down slowly, the sound almost imperceptible but encapsulating silent promises. Your eyes remain fixed on his, defiant yet vulnerable. — Not for someone who surely isn't used to delicate women like me.
A hiss escapes his lips as your fingers brush the exposed skin beneath the hem of his jeans. The tension between you feels like an electric current, vibrating in the air. His hand rises to your cheek, brushing the pad of his thumb over your lower lip in a slow, reverent caress.
— Delicate? — he repeats, his tone thick with disbelief, his eyes darkening with desire and tenderness.
— It's my way of expressing that this is the first time I've been in a situation like this. — you confess, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as you continue to pull down his pants, your hands grazing the contours of his hips as you slide them down his legs.
His eyes soften at your confession, but the spark of desire in them doesn't go out. He helps you remove his pants, standing before you in his boxers, his breathing heavy as his gaze scans every inch of your body with barely contained hunger.
— Princess, I am truly honored to be the one to experience this with you. — His low, husky voice caresses the air between you.
Your breathing quickens as he moves closer, his fingers brushing the skin of your hips, sliding down the waistband of your panties. His closeness clouds your mind, the heat radiating from his body, enveloping you.
— Showing shamelessness will be my way of hiding the fact that I might disappoint you with my lack of experience. — you murmur, your voice cracking slightly under the mixture of nerves and anxiety.
He gently tilts your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. The intensity in his gaze momentarily takes your breath away.
— Impossible... — he firmly denies. — Do you realize how fucking sexy you are right now? Vulnerable and yet totally self-confident — His hands slide agonizingly slowly down your waist, his thumbs caressing the exposed skin with slow strokes. His mouth descends to your neck, leaving a warm kiss before his teeth graze your skin with a light bite that draws an involuntary sigh from you. — And trust me, even if it's your first time, how could you disappoint me, darling? Nerves, inexperience... only make this moment more sincere, more intimate.
His mouth continues lower, tracing a burning path down your neck to your collarbone. His tongue grazes your skin before sucking gently, leaving a warm tingle that spreads throughout your body. Your hands grip his shoulders, your nails digging lightly into his skin as he leaves another soft bite on your collarbone, followed by a wet kiss that makes you gasp.
— I really want to do it with you. — you reaffirm in a shaky whisper, urgency pulsing in every word.
His eyes darken even further, his lips curving into a smile heavy with satisfaction. He leans toward you, brushing his nose against yours before capturing your lips in a deep, demanding kiss. His tongue slides between your lips, exploring with a sensuality that makes you arch toward him, seeking more. His breath mingles with yours, his hands traveling down your back, sliding over the smooth exposed skin, brushing your hair.
— Then let’s do this... — he whispers against your lips, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. — Lie back, and let me show you how good this can be.
He gently guides you back, making you lie down on the table. The cold of the wood contrasts with the scorching heat of his body on yours. His hands travel up your thighs, slowly parting them as his mouth returns to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses that descend dangerously to your tits. His tongue circles your skin, his teeth delicately graze a nipple before sucking, drawing a breathy moan from you.
Your hands find his back, sliding over his tense muscles as he moves down your abdomen, his mouth following the path of his hands. Your panties are at the limit of his fingers, and he looks at you with a mixture of devotion and lust. He took his time, sliding the fabric down your legs in a slow cadence, his touch soft and reverent. He tossed them aside and stepped back for a moment to gaze down at you, completely naked and trusting. His eyes darkened with desire, but he maintained a tender expression.
— You're absolutely beautiful. — More than a compliment, it's a genuine statement. He was fascinated by you and your gorgeous body.
— You flatter me. — you reply, letting out a soft chuckle as you lean up on your elbows so you can look at him. He chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling as he appreciates your modest chuckle. He leans closer again, and his fingers hook through your legs to separate them further.
— There's no flattery involved, these are more than just words — he assured, his fingers tracing tantalizing patterns on the inside of your thighs, causing your skin to prickle and your pussy to ache with need for his touch. — You look stunning this way : open, trusting, and eager. You, in all your splendor, that makes you more beautiful than you could ever imagine. — he affirms, and his caresses become more intense and difficult to bear as he approaches the center of your legs, which throbs eagerly for his attention.
— And soon, I'll be moaning your name, also christening this new art studio. — you add, wanting quell the burning excitement with humor.
Heeseung threw his head back with a deep, genuine laugh at your bold addition, his eyes shining with joy and desire. You never ceased to amaze him.
— Fuck, you're perfect — he moaned, leaning down to place a hot kiss just above your knee, his hand continuing to torture you with slow caresses on your inner thigh. — Do you really think you'll be moaning my name soon?"
— Maybe... — you replied, smiling mischievously. His teasing smile widened at your expression. He knew that smile was dangerous : mischievous yet innocent.
— What if I told you I'm good with my mouth? — He watched your reaction closely, his fingers unconsciously parting your legs further.
— Well, if you're that good a kisser, I have no doubt you'd do wonders using it down there, between my legs. — you respond shamelessly, simultaneously adjusting yourself to rest your feet on the edge of the table and spread yourself even more obscenely for him. His smirk widens, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
Without wasting another second, he kneels between your legs, still grinning, and declares,
— I bet I can make you scream.
— I bet the same. — you reply mockingly, though deep down you tremble with anticipation at the sight of him kneeling, his face between your legs, his warm breath fanning your most intimate area.
Heeseung smirked, aware of the effect he was having on you without even doing much of anything. His hands slid under your thighs, tilting you closer to the reach of his mouth. With the first contact, he took his time, licking and sucking at your folds, striving to learn what made you gasp and squirm. When he found that sweet spot, he zeroed in, his tongue swirling and pressing against your clit almost desperately, causing your hips to buck toward him, seeking more. His lips closed around your swollen bud, sucking hard.
Your breaths became ragged as his hands gripped your hips tightly, making sure to keep you in place as he sucked hungrily on your clit.
— Mmph! Heeseung~ — you moaned softly, pressing your hands to his head, letting your fingers tangle in his hair. Your back arched off the table, and your abdomen tightened as your chest rose and fell rapidly with labored breaths.
For his part, Heeseung let out a satisfied hum, the sound reverberating against your warm core and making you gasp even louder. He loved hearing his name on your lips, and even more so the way your body responded to him. Without any warning, he slid two fingers through your soaked entrance, your warm, bulbous walls welcoming him with a delicious squeeze. Immediately, he began probing your insides, skillfully curling his digits to reach that spot that would make your eyes roll back.
— Oh! Wait... — you whimpered at how right his action was, and how good it felt. But Heeseung didn't stop. Understanding perfectly well that he really shouldn't stop; it was a normal reaction to the unexpected intrusion of his fingers into your sensitive pussy.
He pushed his fingers deeper, parting them slightly, scissoring them to stretch you. He captured your clit between his lips once more, sucking gently as his fingers worked their magic inside you.
— Babe? — he alluded suddenly, his eyes searching yours, wanting to make sure everything was in perfect order with you.
— I'm fine. Don't stop~ — you replied between moans. To which Lee groaned softly, loving your simple response.
He added another finger, stretching you further, preparing and stimulating your sex as much as necessary. He could feel the muscles in your thighs tense, your moans grow louder, and your entire body begin to shake and writhe involuntarily on the table. He knew you were about to break. That's why he grew excited and twisted his fingers inside you more insistently, pressing on that spot that reduced you to a wet, trembling mess.
He looked up and witnessed the way your face contorted with pure pleasure, your eyes rolling back, your lips parted, letting out your sweet moans and noises, and those cheeks flushed with excitement more than shyness. He was fascinated by every tiny detail of you as you were sexually pleasured. He wanted more of that, more of you, he wanted to take you to the edge, make you succumb to him.
And he did it, he got what he wanted, the moment you couldn't hold back, and you came undone on his fingers and in his mouth. Your moans echoed clearly. He felt your orgasm overflowing, your pussy clenching rhythmically around his fingers as you came undone. He moaned against you, savoring your pleasure before slowly pulling his fingers out and giving you one last lick on your clit.
With some care, he straightens and hovers over your small body lying on the table, still convulsing from the aftershocks of your orgasm. His hand lovingly caresses your face. His thumb runs over your flushed cheek as he watches you come down from your high. A satisfied smile touches his lips, knowing he's the reason for that dazed expression. He leans down and kisses you on the lips, hindering your attempt to catch your breath.
— Is my precious lady okay? — he asks as soon as he finishes kissing you. His voice is soothing and genuinely concerned for you.
— Don't worry, I'm okay. That was amazing, really good. — you reply breathlessly, still struggling to catch your breath, but there's a note of pleasure underneath.
A spark of pride lights his eyes at the sound of you, and the arc of his smile widens slightly. His gaze descends with deliberate slowness, tracing the contours of your naked body with a palpable desire that makes your skin prickle under his scrutiny. His hands still frame your face, but the heat of his palms seems to penetrate deeper, igniting something still burning inside you.
— I'm glad you liked it, baby. — he whispers with satisfaction.
The tension in the air thickens as you reach for him, sliding them over the skin of his abdomen to the beginning of his boxers. A strangled gasp escapes his lips when you hook your fingers in the elastic waistband, and his breath catches. The intensity in his gaze deepens, darkening with a desire that seems to consume the air between you.
He steps back slightly and allows you to pull the garment down, without resistance. His erect member springs free and stands against his abdomen.
— It’s your turn… — you declare with a softness laden with intent, your fingers tracing a lazy path up his hip. He looks up at you as you cup his erection in your hand and stroke it gently.
His chest expands with a heavy inhale as your fingers close around his thickness, and the way you position yourself on the edge of the table, lying sideways, while you move your hand up and down his penis. He tangles his fingers in your hair as you stroke him, and a moan escapes his throat. The sight of you completely naked and touching him is almost unbearable; he could burst and spill just looking at you.
— Am I doing this right? — you ask, looking up at him with bright eyes, full of excitement and innocence, causing his own eyes to soften at your question, his thumb brushing over your lower lip.
— You're perfect... — he assures without hesitation, and lowers his hand to yours on his member, showing you the perfect rhythm and pressure, the thing that drives him the most crazy. — Just like that. Fuck, you're good at this.
You suddenly see his free hand slide with delicious delicacy between your legs and his fingers caress the wet lips of your pussy, still sensitive from the orgasm he made you have with his mouth. Meanwhile, you continue pumping his length.
— Hey, you're supposed to be the one receiving now. — you chide, giving him a reproachful look, and he chuckles, his fingers stroking your folds possessively.
— Shh~ I'm enjoying it. — he mumbles. His hips buck slightly against your hand, almost fucking your fist. He feels him getting close, but he also wants you to squirm for him.
In the blink of an eye, you find yourself moaning; his fingers plunged in again without reservation, bursting into your pussy, caressing your walls, feeling them clench just like before. But he wasn't the only one doing more. In an unexpected move, you took his cock into your mouth, taking what you could, relaxing your jaw to accommodate him properly, at the same time parting your legs so he could better insert his fingers while you sucked him off.
His eyes widened in surprise and pleasure the instant you took him into your mouth, your wet, warm heat enveloping him completely. He let out a throaty moan, and his fingers thrust in and out at a steady, merciless pace, fervently rubbing against your walls, feeling them tighten and throb.
This was better than anything he'd ever experienced. Which led him to declare :
— You're going to be the death of me, I'm taking it for granted."
But your simple response was to moan around his cock, sucking more eagerly with each passing second, enjoying his reactions, the kinky wet sounds, and at the same time, how his fingers so expertly fuck your pussy. Heeseung stares at you with devotion as you suck him off relentlessly, his fingers sinking deeper into your heat, reaching that point that makes you choke around his member. He's never seen anything sexier in his entire life. Or maybe it was the effect produced by the simple fact that it was you. And, as if seeking to end his sanity, you tilt your head off the table, trying to take more of him into your mouth.
You seemed to like this much more than either of you could have expected.
His cock throbs against your tongue as you take him deeper, almost gagging, completely ignoring any gagging. Leaving him amazed by your enthusiasm and skill. With a moan, he curls his fingers inside you, precisely caressing that magical spot that makes your whole body shudder.
— Princess, you're going to make me cum... — he growls through gritted teeth.
You pull out of your mouth for a moment, just to catch your breath, but you don't stop servicing him with your hand, running your hands up and down the hot, saliva-covered skin. Your lips feel swollen and wet, but moaning while he continues to make you see stars with his fingers distracts you. Heeseung looks at you, his face flushed, his lips swollen, his hand moving rapidly over his length. He can't hold back any longer.
— Cum with me. — he demands between heavy exhales, and simultaneously, his fingers speed up the pace inside you, thrusting in and out relentlessly, making you moan loudly. But you take him back into your mouth, sucking the tip steadily while you continue to move your hand along the rest of his length.
He rolls his eyes as you take him again, your hand and mouth in perfect harmony. He feels his release creeping in, his balls tightening. He lets out a strangled cry as he feels you suck harder and your tongue swirl around the tip. And just like that, your body convulses once more, consumed by ecstasy, and you cum on his fingers as he spills into your mouth, his hot, salty semen filling you and running down your throat.
He's never experienced an ejaculation so intense, so satisfying. He keeps thrusting his fingers into you through the orgasm, prolonging the pleasure until you're a quivering, panting mess on the table.
— Fuck, that was… — He’s unable to finish the sentence, his voice cut off by a heavy gasp, caused by the intense aftershocks that ravage your body.
For your part, you move away from his penis and lie back, tired and exhausted, on the table. Lee is about to make sure you’re okay, but, to both of your misfortunes, his cell phone rings, and you both sigh in frustration. However, he picks up the device and turns it off, completely ignoring the unwelcome call, his attention focused solely on you. No one was going to ruin his perfect moment.
He gently removes his fingers and brings them to his mouth to clean them with his tongue, once again delighting in the exquisiteness of your warm essence. He watches you lie there, exhausted and satisfied. A smile spreads across his lips as he realizes how intense it was.
— Are you okay, baby girl? — he questions, looking at you closely, studying you, wanting to assure you that only pleasure and comfort were what you were feeling. And luckily, your answer reassured him.
— I can assure you, I'm more than fine — you reply in a soft, smiling voice. You hear him sigh with satisfaction, and his thumb gently strokes your hipbone, in a gesture that is both tender and possessive. — How are you?
— I'm fucking great, princess. I've never felt anything like this — he admits in a voice somewhere between astonished and satisfied; he really does seem so happy. — You're incredible, did you know that? — he adds in a tone full of admiration.
—I'm glad I did well. — you reply, smiling proudly at yourself. To which Heeseung laughs softly and leans in to place a soft kiss on your forehead, then another on your nose, and finally a longer one on your lips.
— You were more than 'well'. You blew my mind — he replies after breaking away from the kiss. His hand slides from your hip to your waist, holding you firmly. — But... — Suddenly, he drags you to the edge of the table and spreads your legs, his eyes darkening with renewed desire. He can't get enough of you, and it doesn't look like he's going to anytime soon. — I can't just let you lie there looking so sexy and not do something about it. — he states in a low, husky voice, causing you to shudder.
— Oh, that wouldn't be acceptable, would it? — you respond playfully, playing along. The older man smiles mischievously, his hands running down your legs to the inside of your thighs.
— No, it wouldn't be. After all, my job is to protect you. And right now, I need to protect you from being neglected. — He positions himself between your legs and opens them wider, making the necessary space for himself, as he takes his member in his hand and strokes its tip against your sensitive clit, moving down your wet slit, collecting your juices, before repeating the motion a few times.
He watches your expression closely as he strokes your pussy with his tip, his eyes dark with desire and something softer, almost gentle. He knows he's about to pluck the petals of your innocence, and despite his dominant nature, he wants this moment to be special for you.
— I want your eyes on me, gorgeous. — More than a request, it's really a command, laced with his need to capture your expression the moment he finally goes further.
He watches the way you sit almost upright and bring your hands to his back, your delicate fingers digging into his skin, clinging to his body. He leans closer to you, wrapping his free arm around your waist to support you. He continues stroking your clit with his glans, spreading your wetness and increasing your anticipation. He catches you with his gaze, his eyes boring into yours.
— You're mine now, okay? This changes everything. — His voice is deep, filled with a mixture of possessiveness and vulnerability.
— I've always been yours. — you gasp softly, and his eyes soften at your words, a surge of emotion mingling with his arousal.
He leans down to capture your lips in a deep, passionate kiss, trying to keep you distracted as he finally fits himself against your wet entrance. His tip presses against you with eager insistence, slowly beginning to push in, until, with a gentle but firm push, he pierces your hymen, eliciting a stifled cry from both of you. The sensation of encasing himself in your tight heat makes him see stars too, but he struggles to hold back a little.
— It's okay, it's okay, babe. I know it hurts, but you'll feel amazing soon... — Still against your mouth, he whispers those reassuring words, one hand stroking your hair while the other grips your hips tightly. He begins to move slowly, giving your body time to adjust to his size.
— Heeseung~ — you moan, deeply enraptured as he goes deeper and deeper, deliciously filling and stretching your tight pussy. His control almost breaks at the sound of your moans mixed with his name.
One of his hands moves to your ass, squeezing it possessively, tilting your hips to get a deeper angle. His hips thrust gently but firmly, his swollen member sliding in and out of you in unnecessary movements. He watches in fascination as you lie back again, arching your back and spreading your legs wider to better fit him. He uses that moment to push himself deeper between them and, holding them, wraps them around his waist. He slides an arm under your back, holding you and allowing you to arch fully.
— Look at us, look how well you take me, princess. — he pants, keeping his gaze down between your legs, watching his cock fill you.
— I'm liking taking you~ — you moan softly, your voice slipping like a hot whisper in the air.
After listening to you, he begins to move more deliberately, each thrust measured but intense, searching for the perfect rhythm to make you enjoy yourself. One hand moves between your thighs, searching for your clit with skillful fingers. The contact makes your body shudder, and your moans become more frequent.
— Can you hold out longer, baby? — he asks, his voice low and raspy, as he gently rubs around your sensitive bud, continuing to thrust. His hot breath glides over your skin, making you feel like you're on fire inside.
— Yes, love. Yes, I can. — you respond ecstatically, oblivious to shyness, as your body arches toward him, seeking more contact, more pressure. Your voice is a desperate whisper, a call for him to take you further, deeper.
However, hearing you call him "love" triggers a excitement is on the edge, and his movements become frantic, more intense.
— Say it again... — he demands, his voice muffled against your breasts, as his tongue glides over one of your hardened peaks, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He begins to thrust faster, deeper, hitting spots inside you that make you moan and feel like you're about to fall apart.
— It can't be that you like a simple nickname so much. — You giggle lightly between moans, as your body moves to the rhythm of his thrusts. Your hands clutch at his back, searching for something to hold on to. Heeseung laughs breathlessly, his breath hot against your chest.
— It's not just a nickname when you say it — He lifts his head to look into your eyes, his hips never stopping their rhythmic movements, as his hand slides over your skin, searching for sensitive spots, seeking to make you feel alive. — You calling me 'love' makes me feel like you're giving me something precious.
— Well, I'm giving you all of me, love... — you murmur thoughtfully, as your body surrenders to him, as your soul opens, offering itself. Your voice is a desperate whisper, a call for him to take you, to make you his completely.
His breath catches at your words, emotion overwhelms his lust for a moment, and his movements stop. Then, he kisses you deeply, desperately, pouring all his feelings into the kiss, as his tongue slides over yours, his teeth capture your lower lip in a sweet bite that makes you gasp. When he pulls back, he looks at you, his eyes intense, full of emotion.
— Then I'm very lucky, because you're the most precious thing anyone has ever given me. — His voice is gentle, a murmur of gratitude, of love.
— Come here. — you gasp, taking his face in your hands and pulling him in for a kiss, to feel his warmth. Your mouth opens and his tongue slides inside.
He lifts you slightly, both hands on your hips, moving them off the table to change the angle, and his cock hits a spot inside you that almost makes you scream into his mouth. The air escapes your lungs in a ragged gasp, and your legs tense around his waist, trying to keep him inside you.
You look into his eyes, your pupils dilated, filled with adoration and mutual desire. You keep your hand on his face, caressing his cheek, while you moan at his precise, deep penetrations. His gaze is like a magnet, attracting yours, and you feel lost in the abyss of his eyes. His lips curve into a smile, and his tongue comes out to lick your lips, as if he's savoring their taste.
— You look at me as if I'm the only thing you see. —He whispers, his voice husky with arousal.
— And you are. —You gasp softly in reply, your words like a trigger that breaks his control.
He starts moving faster, harder, his hips slamming into yours. The table creaks beneath you, but he doesn't slow down. He loses himself in your eyes, in the feeling of your pussy surrounding him, in the sound of your voice. His breathing is ragged, and his chest rises and falls rapidly.
— Heeseung… — His name amid your moans echoes throughout the room, as do the sounds of skin against skin with each thrust.
Your voice is like a chant, a hymn to the passion that consumes you, as he continues hitting that spot inside you that makes you see stars. The sensation is like a tsunami, a wave of pleasure that drags you toward the abyss.
— Louder… — he growls, his hands squeezing your thighs, spreading them as far as he can, and his cock drives deeper into you. You feel like you’re being torn apart by passion, like your body is being consumed by the intensity surrounding them. — Say my name again.
— Ah! Heeseung! — you whimper, your voice like a scream of release that echoes through the spacious studio. The orgasm is searing. But he doesn’t stop, he keeps moving, keeps driving his member into you, relentlessly.
He watches your face contort with pleasure, your mouth open in a silent scream. He sees your chest rise and fall rapidly, hears your soft moans. But instead of slowing down, he goes faster, penetrating you mercilessly. He wants another, another cry of ecstasy, another orgasm. His thumb finds your clit again, rubbing it in firm but gentle circles, trying to coax all the pleasure he can from your body.
— Hee~ — you whine pitifully, due to the overstimulation. He smiles devilishly, knowing exactly what those moans mean, but still continues his rhythm.
— One more, baby. Give me one more. You can take it... I know it. — He pants, sweat dripping from his forehead. His voice is like a challenge to your resistance.
— But I want you to cum too. — Your voice is almost a whisper. You really want him to release himself, to let himself go completely and lose himself in the abyss of lust where they're suspended.
His eyes nearly roll back at your words, as a wave of desire overwhelms him and drags him closer to the shore. He bites his lower lip, fighting to contain his own ejaculation, the throbbing desire that threatens to spill over.
— Not until you do it again. — he growls, his jaw clenched, his voice deep and thick with need. He presses his thumb harder against your clit, feeling your body tremble beneath his touch.
— Then cum with me. — you beg, your moans intertwining with the urgency of your words.
His eyes darken with intense desire, and he nods, unable to resist your plea. He adjusts the angle slightly, relentlessly hitting that perfect spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
— Let's cum together, my princess. — he growls with a possessive tone, his movements becoming more urgent, primal, as if each thrust demands your total surrender.
You moan loudly once more, tightening your legs around his waist, digging your fingers into his forearms, feeling the strength of his body against yours. At the sound of his name on your lips, he loses control completely. With a loud grunt, he buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent, and his entire body tenses as he reaches climax. He feels another orgasm wash over you, your throbbing walls enveloping him, triggering his own release.
He swallows your screams, his lips devouring yours in a deep, ravenous kiss. Your bodies convulse against each other, his hot seed filling your insides, as a soft groan escapes his lips, another wave of pleasure hits him, and your inner muscles squeeze him dry. He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours, watching as you crumble again, lost in euphoria.
— I love you~ — you gasp softly, a surge of vulnerability floating in the air. Your confession seems to stop time. His eyes, dark and deep, bore into yours with overwhelming intensity, filled with wonder and adoration.
Something in him shudders, as if your words have pierced every layer of his being, reaching a place no one else has ever touched before. His body still trembles with the aftershocks of his relentless passion, and yet it's your declaration that truly takes his breath away. Slowly, a smile spreads across his face, the most beautiful and genuine you've ever seen. But the silence between you lengthens, and uncertainty begins to settle in your chest.
— Why aren't you answering? — you ask in a whisper, the echo of your fear resonating between you both.
He doesn't answer right away. Instead, his fingers find your face with infinite tenderness, his thumbs gently wiping away the sweat and tears of pleasure gathering at the corners of your eyes. His touch is reverent, as if you were something sacred.
— Because I'm still trying to process that you just said those three words to me. — His voice is a husky whisper, thick with emotion. He takes a deep breath, never taking his eyes off yours, finding in them all the answers he didn't know he needed.
— I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you. — you excuse yourself timidly, but before insecurity can take hold, he shakes his head, a soft laugh escaping his lips. And then he kisses you.
It’s not just a kiss. It’s a refuge, a silent promise, an absolute surrender. You pour all your emotions into it. He kisses you with a devotion that rekindles the spark between you, dispelling any doubts. When he finally breaks away, his forehead rests on yours, his eyes closed tightly, as if afraid that when he opens them, this moment might vanish. But you’re there. He’s there. And nothing in the world could make this moment cease to exist.
— You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear those words from you, so don’t apologize — he whispers, his voice imbued with a sincerity that envelops you like a caress. His gaze shines with a mixture of relief and suppressed emotion.
— I really wanted to say them. — you murmur softly, brushing your nose against his in a tender and complicit gesture.
His reaction is immediate. He wraps you in his arms with a strength that doesn't seek to possess, but to hold you, wanting to reassure himself that you are real, that this moment isn't a fleeting dream. His body relaxes in the embrace, for the first time in a long time, finding true peace. The warmth he radiates is comforting, enveloping, and in that contact he understands: these aren't just words. They are an absolute truth, as undeniable as the way your heart beats in unison with his.
A soft smile spreads across his face, his eyes crinkling tenderly as he absorbs every nuance of this moment. But the intensity of his love, this longing he's harbored for so long, compels him to seek confirmation.
— Are you serious? — His voice is a deep whisper, thick with emotion, while his eyes cling to yours with quiet desperation. He needs to hear it again. He needs to know this is real.
— I'm completely serious, Heeseung. I love you. — you repeat firmly, letting each word resonate with truth, with the strength of a feeling that leaves no room for doubt.
Something in him breaks and mends itself at the same time. His lips part slightly, as if he wants to respond immediately, but the torrent of emotion is too much. A single tear slides down his cheek, a silent witness to the impact of your words. He takes a deep breath, trying to stem the avalanche of feelings, but his voice trembles when he finally lets out the answer he's been keeping deep inside.
— I love you too. — In those four words, filled with an indescribable intensity, his whole world aligns with yours.
Your heart beats frantically at just hearing it, the butterflies in your stomach flutter, but there's something else that captures your attention in that instant.
— I guess you're not the only one who loves me. — you comment, amused, feeling his desire renewed inside you, his cock hardening once more.
He chuckles softly, a deep sound that resonates in his chest, filled with satisfaction. He gently moves his hips, teasing you with his renewed hardness.
— It seems so. And it also seems like I'll have a hard time tiring of you, too. — he says, his voice husky with desire, thick with palpable lust.
— I want you to bend me over this table and take me from behind. — you gasp softly, each word professing desire.
His body shudders at your heated words, his member throbbing urgently inside you. With a grunt of pure pleasure, he slowly withdraws, enjoying the exquisite friction of each brush as his manhood slides out of your cushioned, warm walls. In one swift, determined movement, he lifts you off the table, turns you over, and bends you over the wooden surface, pressing your tits against it.
Suddenly, you feel the impact of his hand on your buttock, a blow that makes you shudder and moan in surprise, but that ends up resulting in a delicious stinging sensation. He smiles wickedly at your words, loving with some morbidity the pinkish trace he leaves on your pale skin. He rubs the spot before delivering another firm slap, enjoying the way you wriggle under his touch.
Without warning, he penetrates you again, sinking his member hard into your pussy, pressing his chest against your back as he presses you against the table and his body. He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing you against him as he begins to thrust into you mercilessly. The table creaks under the force of his movements, his muscles contracting and relaxing in a primal rhythm as he thrusts in and out again and again, without any restraint.
— Do you like it? — he asks between moans, his hot breath caressing your skin.
— I love it~ — you moan, fascinated, and he leaves soft kisses on your cheek, each touch igniting the fire between you even more.
He continues thrusting into you, his movements becoming more erratic and desperate as you move. He pursues his next release. He nestles into the crook of your neck, his lips and tongue peppering your skin with hot kisses, marking you as his with every touch. He hooks an arm under one of your legs and lifts it to the edge of the table, allowing him deeper access, each penetration sending waves of pleasure through your body.
— Tell me you're only mine. — he growls, his teeth grazing your neck, a touch that sends shivers of pleasure through you.
— I am, I'm only yours. — you whimper loudly. He shudders at your words, an intense wave of possession and love enveloping him completely.
He buries his face in your hair, inhaling your intoxicating scent as he continues to penetrate you, each movement bringing him closer to the edge of ecstasy and sensitivity.
— I love you~ — he whispers huskily, each syllable filled with fervor.
— I love you too. — you reply between moans. Bringing a hand between your body and the table, he moves down your abdomen until he finds your clitoris and begins to rub it, once again seeking that relief that seems so close.
Heeseung feels you arch, your body eager for release again. Firmly, he circles your wrist with his fingers, pulling your hand away from its goal. He wants to be the one to bring you to climax, not your own fingers.
— My turn… — he growls, replacing your fingers with his, his expert touch fanning the flames of ecstasy in your body.
— Mmm~ H-Heeseung! — you mumble, choked, your insides throbbing, nearing orgasm. You clutch the table, seeking stability in the abyss of pleasure.
He feels your limbs trembling, aware that you're on the verge of unraveling again. He rubs your clit with firm pressure, synchronizing his movements with his thrusts. With his other hand, he grabs your hips, holding you tight as he thrusts relentlessly.
— Be a good girl and cum for me again... — he commands huskily, a command that resonates deep inside you. And without further ado, Heeseung feels you convulse around him, reaching your climax, his name on your lips. — That's it, you're doing so good, baby. So good for me.
He continues moving inside you, prolonging your pleasure, reveling in the way your body trembles and gripping him in an ecstasy that seems to have no end. His own climax reaches him like a crashing wave, and with one last deep thrust, he lets himself go, spilling inside you once more, with an intensity that leaves him trembling. A deep roar escapes his throat, his gravelly voice reverberating through the studio as his body surrenders to the wave of sensations coursing through him.
The air is still thick with desire and something deeper, something beyond physical pleasure. With a ragged sigh, you collapse onto the table, the warmth of your skin meeting the coolness of the wood as you try to catch your breath. Heeseung doesn't move away. Instead, he snuggles up against you, his face finding refuge in the crook of your neck and shoulder, his still erratic breathing brushing your skin. His arms slide around your waist, pulling you against him with possessive need.
— You fascinate me. — His voice is a deep whisper, still laced with emotion and desire. His lips brush against your skin as he continues to murmur words of adoration, telling you how much he loves you, how beautiful you are, how unique it feels to have you in his life.
Each word is a balm, a reminder that this isn't just desire, but something bigger, more real. His confessions feel like invisible caresses, enveloping you in a bubble of tranquility, one that belongs only to this moment, to the two of you, and to the certainty that, for now, nothing else matters.
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criticalcrusherbot · 6 months ago
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The Compulsion to Justify Enjoyment: Fandom, Critique, and the Helluva Boss Phenomenon
By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️
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The tendency for Helluva Boss fans to qualify their praise with statements like, “Well, the writing is kinda bad, but…” reveals something fascinating about contemporary media consumption and fandom culture. This pattern is not unique to Helluva Boss, but it’s especially pronounced in this fandom, where discourse oscillates between extreme praise and harsh criticism. To understand why fans feel pressured to justify their enjoyment, we can turn to media literacy, psychology, and sociology—while also reconciling this with our own stance: the writing is actually pretty good.
But here’s the twist: while we maintain that Helluva Boss is well-written in many ways, we also believe that determining whether something is “good” or “bad” isn’t always a meaningful or productive approach to media analysis
Why “Good” or “Bad” Doesn’t Matter (But the Writing Is Pretty Good)
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One of the core arguments of our four-part thesis is that Helluva Boss demonstrates intentional, thoughtful narrative choices. Its handling of character arcs, emotional stakes, and thematic complexity often surpasses expectations for an indie animation project. However, the need to categorize media as either “good” or “bad” can distract from more interesting conversations about what the text is trying to do and how it resonates with its audience.
This is where the conflict arises: fans often preface their enjoyment with disclaimers—“Well, I know the writing has issues, but I like it anyway”—as though acknowledging perceived flaws is necessary to maintain credibility. This defensive posture reflects a broader cultural trend where media critique has become intertwined with moral judgment and social capital. In other words, liking something “uncritically” is seen as naive or intellectually lazy.
Yet, here’s the paradox: even as we argue that the writing is “pretty good,” we also recognize that media doesn’t have to be “good” by some objective standard to be valuable. Enjoyment and meaning-making are subjective experiences, and trying to fit every piece of media into a binary framework of quality often undermines the complexity of that experience.
Why Helluva Boss Gets Caught in This Trap
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The unique position of Helluva Boss as an indie project with a large and vocal audience makes it particularly susceptible to this dynamic. Unlike mainstream media, which often benefits from established critical frameworks, Helluva Boss invites scrutiny because of its ambitious storytelling and the polarizing presence of its creator, Vivienne Medrano.
The result? Fans feel compelled to either defend the show endlessly or hedge every compliment with disclaimers. This stands in stark contrast to how other media, such as shonen anime, are consumed. No one feels the need to preface their love of Dragon Ball Z with an acknowledgment of its repetitive fights and shallow character development because those are accepted as genre conventions. Helluva Boss, however, with its more nuanced writing and complex emotional arcs, invites higher expectations—and harsher criticism.
The Psychology of Defensive Enjoyment
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Psychologically, this defensive posture can be explained by cognitive dissonance: the tension between genuinely enjoying a show and the pressure to maintain credibility in a culture that prizes media literacy. Fans preemptively address perceived flaws to avoid being dismissed as uncritical “stans.”
This is compounded by the personalization of media discourse. Medrano’s online presence and the show’s status as a passion project have made her closely tied to its public perception. Praise can be interpreted as sycophantic, and criticism as a personal attack, further polarizing the conversation.
Reclaiming Joy: A Balanced Approach
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So how do we reconcile these tensions? By acknowledging that media analysis doesn’t always need to revolve around determining if something is “good” or “bad.” We can appreciate the intentional, thoughtful narrative choices in Helluva Boss without feeling the need to hedge our enjoyment—or defend it against detractors.
Our position remains this: Helluva Boss is well-written, often clever, and narratively ambitious. But even if it weren’t, that wouldn’t negate its value or the joy it brings to its audience. Enjoyment doesn’t require intellectual justification, and media doesn’t have to be flawless to be meaningful.
Let’s normalize saying, “I love this thing” without a 500-word essay on why it isn’t perfect. And maybe even go a step further: acknowledge that the writing can be pretty good—and that sometimes, that doesn’t even matter.
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charleemoon · 3 months ago
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i think a lot about obsessive insecure hannibal constantly worrying about being good enough for will.
after the fall, still healing from their injuries, they're intimate for the first time. it was bound to happen, hannibal felt the tension building, knew it was a matter of time until they were both well enough. it had been so long, years of oscillation, revolving around each other, violently close but never enough to touch. he wanted it, and he wanted to make it good for will. will had never asked, never pushed, never touched him more than he wanted. still, the pressure to perform was enormous.
in their sweet touches, their heated breaths, all hannibal can think about is what if this is it. what if im not enough. what if this is the moment he realizes im not what he wants. that everything, this swirling intensity, their mutual destruction, their rebirth. what if the hunt was what excited him? and hannibal is prey that wasn't worth the chase. he must've touched molly like this, countless other women. maybe even other men. hannibal knew how to satisfy a lover, he felt no shame in that. but will wouldn't want that. he wouldn't want doctor lecter, in all his practiced perfection, his measured pleasure, his feeble satisfaction. he would know. he wants hannibal, in all his scars in weakness, here in this cabin at the end of the world, nothing but the two of them. no one left to entertain. he's not sure if he can.
the last person he was honest with, he was forced to swallow her whole, and any person beneath him who dared disturb his isolated world followed suit. everyone except will. undone by his weakness, forced to his knees in his acceptance, he is terrified of what might happen to his soft heart if we were to lay it in wills hands. terrified that rather than kiss it tenderly or crush it in his palms, will may not want it at all. disgusted by the gesture, bored by his desperation, he would set it down and leave it to the bitter cold. will was not a stranger to changing his mind, after all. it wouldn't be the first time.
hannibal wouldn't say this, he won't. he'll find ways to suck it between his teeth, make these first few times nothing but beautiful and good. he'll wait until he can control it, a whispered confession, with dry eyes. the overwhelming tenderness of their bodies, burning each other in the heat, the whispered praises under his breath. hannibal can't focus on it, his cock barely half hard from anxiety. he won't, he won't, he won't. he knows will's hands are stilling, knows he's gently asking if he's okay. he can't fuck this up, can't destroy this like hes done to them over and over and over. hannibal is ruining, soiling what they could be with his disgusted vulnerability, the pathetic juttering of his weak heart.
hannibal, with his endless cruelty, the ways he's picked and prodded and pulled at will. the way he's broken him, ripped everything from him and watched him twitch and convulse with nothing left. after all the wrong he has done, it can't be in this moment, that the childish desperation, that his weak, pulsating parts are when will has had enough. hannibal's humanity can't be thing that will rejects.
it bursts open, and he sobs, weak in a way will hadn't see him since will had been under him, bleeding out from his stomach, hannibal soaked in the rain. rather than being changed by will, maybe he was just broken. broken by his desire, his hunger so strong he ate himself from the inside out. he crashed against the current of the ocean, and shattered into the sea. would will still want him if it meant having to put him back together?
and will stops, hands hovering over hannibal as he winces in anticipation, certain that will must not want to touch him for what he is now. for the weakness that has rested in his heart, unseen and now grossly on display. hannibal screws his eyes tight, feels the hot tears dampening his cheeks, the shuddering in his shoulders. it feels like the absolute worst moment to be seen like this, regret twisting his stomach and burning holes into the image of their intimacy.
will's touches return, gentle and caring. consoling, kind. hannibal meets his eyes and they are watery with love. tears beading in his eyelashes, honored at the privilege to see hannibal in moments no one else has. not in a very, very long time. forever bestowed the role of his undoing. god, in awe of his creation as it lives under his guiding hand.
they lay with each other that night. quiet and soft, will's warm, coarse palm rubbing circles into his back, kissing away warm tears when they come. they don't say anything. will doesn't ask, doesn't push, doesn't touch him in any way he shys away from. will wants him all the same. wants nothing more than hannibal, hannibal, hannibal. in every form he comes in, in every outline he takes, in his strength, bloodied and wild, in his weakness, wilting and meek. so long as it's them, together, in every shape, fitting together, skin against skin, made whole.
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novelconcepts · 6 months ago
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One of the things I love most about Yellowjackets is how it shows the natural oscillation people will slip into in times of crisis, revolving from person to person in a desperate bid for someone to help them survive a hellish situation. They start, naturally, with Ben: the only adult in the room. And, when he starts to fail them, they glance off of Jackie--who is processing her own terror and grief in ways that do not serve the hive team, so who's next? Lottie, of course! Lottie, who has visions, who seems to just know things, who feels preternaturally powerful in a place where less and less makes sense, where starvation is hollowing both body and mind. And when Lottie tries to shuffle backward away from this, because she is unwell, because she does not want their obsessive focus, because she never really wanted it--who's next? Natalie. Natalie, who has been the steadfast foil to Lottie's ethereal tendencies. Natalie, who fixes what she can whenever she can: be it gathering Travis' father's ring, or making maps, or bringing back game. Natalie, who is solid as the ground--or so it seems. Not because she actually is, just like Lottie is not a true messiah, just like Jackie is not innately more capable due to her captainship, just like Ben is not necessarily going to save anyone just because he's over 21. But because the girls need someone. They need to fixate to stay alive. They need a leader, because that gives them someone to look to, not because the leader will actually make a real difference.
So: if Natalie starts to show cracks...of course they'll turn on her. Of course they will. It's only natural to seek out someone, anyone, who might save you. No wonder they build a religion. No wonder they need a queen.
Heavy be the head that wears that goddamn crown. Always.
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mariacallous · 4 months ago
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Given the daily degradation of our democracy—not merely its practice but its symbols and forms, which matter, too—it seems merely worth a baleful look that more of the so-called Kennedy files, which the National Archives released last week, on Donald Trump’s order, turn out, so far, to contain what is technically called bupkes: nothing of consequence or revelation. Whispers about such obvious hoaxes as an alleged letter written by John F. Kennedy, Jr., calling Joe Biden a traitor—a document long ago revealed and debunked by the F.B.I.—created some excitement on social media, including on Elon Musk’s X, but the files mostly inspire the same old rumors of the same old kind—the C.I.A., Israel’s intelligence agency, George H. W. Bush, the same horses revolving on the same carrousel, with the paint peeling from them by now. Trump’s motive in releasing the files seems to have been to appease the Alex Jones wing of his base—and likely also his Health and Human Services Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.—which clings to conspiracy theories as rational conservatives once clung to the Constitution. But most of the records had long been available; the big difference here is that some of the (mostly self-evident) names and sources are revealed. (And, with the usual Trump chaos, the names and even the Social Security numbers of various bystanders to the story have now been inadvertently released, creating the possibility of brand-new lawsuits.)
The reality, as confirmed by the Warren Commission, in 1964, remains as it has been ever since that November afternoon: that Lee Harvey Oswald, an unhappy man in his early twenties, whose absurd sense of self-aggrandizement oscillated with an unappeasable sense of grievance—the very type of a political assassin—acted alone. His motives for killing Kennedy remain uncertain—though he may perhaps have simply intended to impress Fidel Castro. (Assassins’ motives are often confused: Mark Chapman killed John Lennon out of a toxic compound involving an Esquire article about Lennon’s wealth and an obsession with “The Catcher in the Rye.”)
Oswald was a violent man in a violent mood. Only months before in Dallas, the Warren Commission found, he had tried to kill the far-right former Army Major General Edwin Walker, and less than an hour after Kennedy’s assassination he killed a police officer. Each accumulated piece of evidence—firearms evidence, ballistic evidence, eyewitness evidence—creates a mountain of essential certainty as to Oswald’s means and opportunity. The failures of the day to protect Kennedy are, in retrospect, shocking, but, although the Secret Service can adjust to the known, it can’t foresee every possible unknown. At that time, Presidents rode in open cars; now, they don’t. (They also regularly walked, waving and smiling, from public events to the Presidential limousine until 1981, when Ronald Reagan, doing just that, was shot and very nearly killed.)
The other side of the historical inquiry is also long known. As the Times reported, when Tim Naftali, an adjunct professor at the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University, researched the files, “his review of the documents convinced him that some previously redacted information had not been classified to protect details that cast doubt on what happened to Kennedy but for a much simpler and more sensitive reason: to protect the C.I.A.’s sources and methods.” What was suppressed at the time but is suggested by these documents, is that the C.I.A. engaged in morally dubious and illegal operations—including, as has been known at least since the findings of the Church Committee, in the mid-nineteen seventies, assassinations and attempted assassinations during the Kennedy era (of Castro, above all)—and that the agency was understandably nervous, not to say panicked, that one or another of its sinister practices could have “blown back” or, at a minimum, might have been disclosed in the course of an investigation. (Perhaps only the maverick journalist I. F. Stone said unequivocally at the time that our services had been conspiring to kill other leaders even as our own was killed. But Stone did not think that anyone conspired to kill J.F.K., a man whom, against his better judgment, he admired.)
The sheer felt devastation of what happened is still staggering and speaks, as well, to the continuing shadow cast by Kennedy’s long reputation. For the past sixty years, people have been undermining that reputation, and yet somehow it stands—so much so that R.F.K., Jr., despite having been denounced by his family (most pointedly by his cousin Caroline, J.F.K.’s daughter), persists in public life largely because of the continuing hold of the family name. The efforts to cut short that shadow have been many and multifarious. Kennedy, though married to the idolized Jackie, was a man with many alleged lovers, even as President (including, recklessly, one with connections to the Mob), a fact obviously kept from the public at the time. (As “Mad Men” rather usefully reminded us, though—and as John Updike’s stories of the nineteen-sixties in this magazine might have reminded us, too—casual infidelity was a fact of the time.) He accepted the ground rules of the Cold War mostly unreflectively, which helped lead to the disaster of the Bay of Pigs. And he was slow, not to say cautious, in addressing civil rights, the great issue of his Presidency.
But there are good reasons that his memory remains. J.F.K. was a handsome man—handsome in appearance, but also handsome in attitudes and speech and personal manner. Richard Reeves, preparing a book about Kennedy in the late eighties and early nineties, said that “half the people I interviewed began with this sentence about John F. Kennedy: ‘He was the most charming man I ever met.’ ” It was a charm that was irresistible to others because it rested on a foundation of courage. It’s significant that, for all the revisionism, no one has ever challenged the story, first reported in the pages of The New Yorker, of his almost ridiculously courageous conduct in the Second World War, when, as a young Navy lieutenant in the Pacific, his patrol boat was hit by a Japanese destroyer and he towed a wounded comrade through the waves holding the strap of his life jacket in his mouth. The charm with which he handled later political confrontations is still rightly legend—in 1946, in a room full of Boston working-class pols, after each was pointedly introduced as a young man who “came up the hard way,” he disarmingly announced, “I see I’m the only one here tonight who didn’t come up the hard way.” He later addressed the Texas delegation at the 1960 Democratic National Convention all on his own, very much a Daniel in the lion’s den, and won over many of the lions. These are all details of tone and temperament, and the relative absence of obvious and substantial policy achievements is part of the indictment against J.F.K. But the tone of a society is central to its self-conception. Personal manners are the surface of public morality.
Conspiracy theorists (and those of us who argue with them have the scars to show for it) often maintain that the ones debunking the conspiracies are allied with the conspirators. But, as generations of Marxist scholars have written, the essence of intelligent social criticism is to recognize that things would have happened more or less the way they did because of the inherent economic and ideological forces in a country. So, the Vietnam War, far from being a monstrosity thrust upon the government, in Kennedy’s absence, by Lyndon Johnson, as Oliver Stone’s movie “JFK” suggests, was a natural, misbegotten outcome of long-standing beliefs about the Cold War and confrontations with Communism. It was encouraged and executed under Johnson by many of the same people, almost all of Kennedy allegiance—the famous “best and the brightest”—whom Kennedy recruited into government.
Individual character matters crucially in history—it’s conceivable that Kennedy would have recognized the trap of a ground war in Asia sooner than L.B.J. could, being less pathologically insecure, but it’s also quite possible that he would have made the same fatal errors in Vietnam, and for the same reasons. Had Vietnam been lost in 1965 instead of in 1975, right-wing Republicans, already led by Ronald Reagan, among others, would not have said, “Oh, thank God we didn’t waste tens of thousands of lives staying there and fighting an obviously doomed contest.” They would have cried cowardice and appeasement, and many, perhaps most, Americans would have listened. Would J.F.K. have resisted that circumstance better than L.B.J. did? Conceivably. But it was the same circumstance.
And so we come back to that long shadow. Countless American institutions were named in Kennedy’s honor right after the assassination: the airport once known as Idlewild became, and remains, our own J.F.K., and, in a still astonishing episode, Cape Canaveral, in Florida, was briefly renamed Cape Kennedy. (The original—and four-hundred-year-old—name was restored after a decade.) Yet no memorial seemed better suited to the Kennedy style than the dedication of a national arts center in Washington, D.C., which attempted to cure F. Scott Fitzgerald’s old complaint that the division of America between two capitals—one cultural and intellectual, in New York, and the other political, in Washington—had harmed the country profoundly.
The successor often gets the credit for what the rival started. Dwight D. Eisenhower first pushed the idea of an arts center in Washington, to put the city on even footing with other world capitals as an “artistic mecca that would be open to visitors from every land.” In the decades since its establishment, the center’s board has been distinguished and bipartisan—until last month, when, in a grotesque show of ego, Trump fired all the Biden-appointed members, and made himself its chairman. What Trump imagines filling the space is unclear. He has a weakness for bad Broadway musicals, and contempt for great ones—preferring “Cats” to “Hamilton” is in itself, as a close reading of the Federalist Papers should make clear, grounds for impeachment. (Although Trump’s affection for the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber is one thing that makes him seem very nearly human.) Trump’s case is that the Center previously discriminated against conservative culture in favor of the “woke” kind, and, though there is no evidence that this was ever the case, it is certainly true that no partisan monopoly on the performing arts should ever be encouraged. On the national stage, on any stage, there should be room for a first-rate right-wing playwright like David Mamet alongside a first-rate left-wing one like Tony Kushner. Pluralism is the first principle of a democratic culture. But what Trump wants is only shows that he likes. That is not reform.
Aesthetic dimensions—handsome and ugly, or charming and hateful—are not always the vectors or axes on which we judge politics. But there is much to be said for Eisenhower’s desire to see the symbols of our public life elevated and admirable, and for the people at the top at least to enact, if no one can entirely embody, the role that Aristotle called that of the magnanimous man—large of spirit, generous to enemies, and modest about one’s own accomplishments, because sure of them. “The mere accumulation of wealth and power,” Kennedy said, at a 1962 fund-raiser for what would become the Kennedy Center, “is available to the dictator and the democrat alike. What freedom alone can bring is the liberation of the human mind and spirit, which finds its greatest flowering in the free society.” That it is impossible to imagine these words rising from the man who now follows him—and who seems to believe that, since the accumulation of power and wealth is so easily available to the dictator, only a sap would choose to be a democrat—is a sign of how uniquely ugly our time is becoming. 
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transgenderer · 7 months ago
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i know enough electromagnetics to mostly understand clever electrical stuff but little enough that it still has the magic charm
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Mechanically, the cavity magnetron consists of a large, solid cylinder of metal with a hole drilled through the centre of the circular face. A wire acting as the cathode is run down the center of this hole, and the metal block itself forms the anode. Around this hole, known as the "interaction space", are a number of similar holes ("resonators") drilled parallel to the interaction space, connected to the interaction space by a short channel. The resulting block looks something like the cylinder on a revolver, with a somewhat larger central hole. Early models were cut using Colt pistol jigs.[11] Remembering that in an AC circuit the electrons travel along the surface, not the core, of the conductor, the parallel sides of the slot act as a capacitor while the round holes form an inductor: an LC circuit made of solid copper, with the resonant frequency defined entirely by its dimensions.
The magnetic field is set to a value well below the critical, so the electrons follow curved paths towards the anode. When they strike the anode, they cause it to become negatively charged in that region. As this process is random, some areas will become more or less charged than the areas around them. The anode is constructed of a highly conductive material, almost always copper, so these differences in voltage cause currents to appear to even them out. Since the current has to flow around the outside of the cavity, this process takes time. During that time additional electrons will avoid the hot spots and be deposited further along the anode, as the additional current flowing around it arrives too. This causes an oscillating current to form as the current tries to equalize one spot, then another.[12]
The oscillating currents flowing around the cavities, and their effect on the electron flow within the tube, cause large amounts of microwave radiofrequency energy to be generated in the cavities. The cavities are open on one end, so the entire mechanism forms a single, larger, microwave oscillator. A "tap", normally a wire formed into a loop, extracts microwave energy from one of the cavities. In some systems the tap wire is replaced by an open hole, which allows the microwaves to flow into a waveguide.
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Cause of skin effect. A main current I flowing through a conductor induces a magnetic field H. If the current increases, as in this figure, the resulting increase in H induces separate, circulating eddy currents IW which partially cancel the current flow in the center and reinforce it near the skin.
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Twin lead (in the specific sense of ribbon cable) is a form of parallel wire balanced transmission line. The separation between the two wires in twin-lead is small compared to the wavelength of the radio frequency (RF) signal carried on the wire.[2](p 24⸗1) The RFcurrent in one wire is equal in magnitude and opposite in direction to the RF current in the other wire. Therefore, in the far field region far from the transmission line, the radio waves radiated by one wire are equal in magnitude but opposite in phase (180° out of phase) to the waves radiated by the other wire, so the overlapping opposite waves cancel each other out.[2](pp 24⸗16–24⸗17) The result is that almost no net radio energy is radiated by the line.
twin leads especially are sort of obvious but also sort of magical. like. where does the energy go. i mean, back into the wire i guess. but what pushes the energy back...
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filmmakersvision · 7 months ago
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Best of 2024: Favorite Tamil Films
January 9, 2025
by Inakshi Chandra-Mohanty
1. Vaazhai
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It is impossible to speak of the power of Vaazhai without revealing essential details, yet it will be a disservice to the audience to speak of the story without allowing everyone to experience it. Though it is not a suspenseful film, certain riveting elements and character arcs are best felt than described. This dramatic tale of a poor child laborer who oscillates between innocent play in school and the rugged nature of lugging work is both heartfelt and tragic. Sivanaindhan’s story emphasizes a fractured childhood, the burden of reality over aspirations, and a loss of innocence at far too young an age.
This film seems to be writer-director Mari Selvaraj’s most personal work as it contains fragments of his own childhood. His brilliant use of atmospheric elements, repetitive frames, and a larger than life musical score, makes us truly experience the tragedy of thousands of young boys around the country, who are burdened by similar circumstances. By the end of the film, with our guts wrenched and our hearts full, we count ourselves fortunate, that we never had to live such a painful childhood.
2. Kottukkaali
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Kottukkaali, translated as The Adamant Girl, is about Meena, one such stubborn girl paraded across an obstacle ridden journey in an attempt to extinguish her love for a lower caste boy, or as her family members put it, the ‘evil spirit’ that has overtaken her body. This neo-realist film, directed by P.S. Vinotharaj of Koozhangal fame, doesn’t strive to make a point. Instead, it centers on introspection, using cinematic metaphors and character tropes to highlight regressive practices, female entrapment, and fragile masculinity. Whether it is Meena’s position reflected by a caged rooster, or a meandering bull the cowardly men are unable to drive away taken with ease by a little girl, or the gross invasiveness of an exorcism, there are many such thought-provoking moments.
The film’s purpose is to appeal to the audience. Rather than deliver a message itself, it allows us to make the decision of what path these characters will take, hoping that maybe the frustration of what we are witnessing, will convince us to take a step away from patriarchal norms. We are drawn into this uncomfortable environment with only one escape: our own sense of morality.
3. Lubber Pandhu
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Cricket rivalry. Ego tussles. Intertwined romance. Intense drama. Lubber Pandhu is a complete package, an amalgamation of different genres, a thorough massy entertainer. Yet, it is so far removed from the typical content that emerges from Tamil mainstream cinema. It contains real characters, empathetic relationships, and a pinch of ridiculousness. The story follows Anbu and Gethu two cricket stars from different towns as they regularly engage in conflict to outmatch one another. This struggle is further complicated by their romantic involvements, ultimately forcing them to make choices that determine the value of family, love, and cricket in their lives.
Despite being a film centered around the fragility of the male ego, the strong women and their bond with the men are the greatest appeal. Yasodhai and Durga aren’t just typical love interests, they are the anchors for these hypermasculine men in their pursuit of success. That combined with the crackling chemistry and angsty passion these couples present on screen makes the film an enjoyable experience. The story also places a subtle emphasis on caste differences. It refrains from revolving primarily around discrimination, by showing that while Anbu’s caste has held him back, it is not his identity. We see Anbu as a human being, far before we are made aware that he is from a lower caste. With this slight social commentary amidst a plethora of fun characters, crisp comedy, lovable relationships, and obsessive competition, Lubber Pandhu will leave you with a satisfied smile on your face.
4. Maharaja
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Storytelling is the hero in this ludicrous film about a barber attempting to retrieve his stolen dustbin. A seemingly wafer-thin plot morphs into a suspenseful, complex narrative, courtesy masterful writing and brilliant direction. Despite comprising of a few cliched tropes and predictable turns, Maharaja is a sharply executed action thriller that uses non-linear elements to repackage its typical content. The story is about far more than a man’s obsession with a decrepit object, but our ability to decipher this puzzle hinges on neatly placed visual clues and smart narrative progression.
Fresh off the heels of his debut Kurangu Bommai, writer-director Nithilan Saminthan again proves his expertise in manipulation. By creatively weaving together parallel tracks and multiple timelines, he takes the audience on a mind-boggling ride. But the manipulation isn’t just relegated to the plot. It is also present in the emotions. He gets us intensely invested in the titular character and his pursuit for justice even when we aren’t privy to the backstory, and Vijay Sethupathi’s stellar performance gives the character an additional genuineness that resonates with us. Overall, Maharaja is a delightful experience that shows how good storytelling can convert even the simplest of plots into an ingenious film.
5. Amaran
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Unlike the majority of army-based biopics that foreground the main character’s journey through his actions and achievements, Amaran is about the person behind the uniform. The husband, the father, the son, the brother, the friend, the leader. Major Mukund Varadarajan isn’t just a national hero, he’s all these as well. Narrated from the perspective of his wife, Indu, this wholesome biopic regales his real-life story by showing us who he is in her eyes. It’s the Indian audiences’ favorite blend of patriotism and emotional drama, balancing his heroic encounters with the relatable, humane aspects of his character.
The most memorable moments in the film are not those where he conducts the intense operations he was hailed for, but those where he is his light-hearted pleasant self, smiling while listening to his daughter’s voice on the way to an attack, sleeping with his wife on a video call, sharing a comedic camaraderie with his army mates, or presenting his parents with a new home. Actor, Sivakarthikeyan, in one of his best performances, deserves credit for the ease with which he shifts between the serious, tough demeanor of Mukund – the squadron leader, and the caring smiles, soft voice of Mukund – the husband and father. Through all these empathetic moments, writer-director Rajkumar Periasamy does a terrific job weaving together an extremely personal story of love, hope, and triumph. For those of us that get exhausted by apathetic action sequences that army films typically rely on, this is a refreshing change. Amaran is truly a heartfelt ode to a national hero, who is first and foremost, a good human being.
6. Meiyazhgan
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Just like C. Prem Kumar’s previous directorial venture, 96, Meiyazhagan has little plot development with a heavy reliance on the chemistry between the lead characters. The only difference, in 96 this bond is a teenage romance, and in Meiyzhagan it is a youthful bromance. The story follows Arul’s return to his hometown 22 years after he was forced to leave and his overnight interactions with a distant relative he fails to recognize. It is a heartwarming journey as Arul revisits forgotten memories and rediscovers his old self in this mysterious stranger.
The entire impact of the film hinges on the believability of the friendship between these two opposing personalities. How do a full of life stranger and a lifeless Arul find comfort and ease in conversation with one another? This is only possible due to brilliant situational dialogue writing and powerful performances. Karthi with his exuberance and Arvind Swamy with his calmness fully imbibe the contrasting nature of this delicate relationship. There is a certain simplicity and grounded-ness in their subtle acting that make the characters relatable, and their discussions flow as smoothly as a stream of water. Meiyazhagan brings out a tearful empathetic nostalgia and it’s clear that it is a film made from the heart.
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shitpostingkats · 2 years ago
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Yusaku has shitty hands headcanons
Most of the lost kids have physical disabilities due to their experiences in the lost incident.
The most common are nerve damage and chronic pain.
Yusaku spent most of his life with with his hands and arms oscillating between “everything hurts” to “no feeling in these bad bois”
As such, he has a hard time noticing and dealing with unrelated pain problems, like his eczema or developing carpal tunnel.
Kolter bought his wrist braces.
After he lost his arm in the vrains in his fight against Revolver, he didn’t get feeling in that arm back.
His handwriting is pretty terrible. He can type, but needs nice big keys.
Finer motor control stuff eludes him. From the time he started wearing it to the time he met Kolter, his nail polish was absolute messy anarchy. Kolter took over painting Yusaku’s nails shortly after they met. Said it was unsanitary to work in food service and have nail polish that bad. (Kolter is a liar)
I have a friend with no feeling in one of her arms. I have a SECOND friend who's a handholder. This initiates peak comedy when Numb Arm Friend tries to move, only to discover there is a Whole Ass Person hanging onto them, like the moment you walk away from your computer but your headphones are still plugged in.
Yeah. This happens to Yusaku.
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marley-manson · 2 months ago
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you might have exhausted the fic rec list by now, but if not: choose one you want to answer! :)
Thank you! There are definitely a few in there I still wanted to answer so I'm glad for the opportunity.
Recommend a fic that lives in your brain rent free.
This fucking unfinished Labyrinth series, The Judex Cycle. Link is to the first, the other two can be found on the author's page. This seems like a perfect category for it because it's genuinely good and ideal for me in a lot of ways but also frustrating and kind of annoying in other ways, but for some reason the flaws seem to only make it more compelling to me. It's been almost a decade since it was abandoned and I still check back occasionally to see if the author came back, and re-read it every few years.
Like it's randomly a crossover with Hellraiser; it's very meta in a somewhat pretentious yet somewhat charming way; similarly the writing style sometimes toes the line between like 2012 era fandom "cringe" and enjoyably unselfconscious and entertaining (for example there's a scene at the end of the 2nd fic where the author briefly writes herself in as a self-insert but it fits with the meta narrative storytelling themes so like, it doesn't not work); it's got the best characterization of Jareth in fandom imo and a pretty good characterization of Sarah; like Sarah has some unique issues that are interesting in how they serve the themes and I love that she's in her 30s, but she never feels fully grounded as a character to me; the romance oscillates between annoying and satisfying in some shallow gender role reversey ways; it's a little problematic wrt gender roles and heteronormativity despite that but also the author seems aware of this and at least tries to mitigate it; it has good, well-written OCs but they get a little too much focus in the third fic...
I love how it recontextualizes the movie by referencing it so well in the first prequel fic and incorporating it into the overall narrative as like, a family friendly variation on a dark theme, which is another reason it's stuck in my head so long. The final chapter of the second part is one of the most satisfying fic endings I've ever read just by finally showing us Jareth's point of view after 2 novel length fics worth of distant, subtly or not so subtly dehumanizing outsider perspective. Again his characterization is absolutely perfect, from preserving all his weird contradictions, to including details so many fic writers prefer to ignore like his ridiculous hair, his singing, and his high heels, to evoking Bowie's vibe perfectly, especially in the third part.
And it's one of my fave depictions of rape trauma in fic. The way it's really toned down in terms of emotion and rather is incorporated into theme and core characterization so that the series lowkey fully revolves around it with little melodrama just suits my tastes perfectly.
Man, I didn't mean to write a long not even fully positive screed on this fic in a fandom I have no idea if you're even aware of, but like I said, rent-free lol.
fic rec meme
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muldxr · 21 days ago
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and I'm also actually gonna ask your top 5 albums cause I'd love new music to listen to lmao
ask me my top 5 anything
1. VersaEmerge - Fixed At Zero. I knew about Fixed at Zero (the song) but never really listened to the rest of the album until a few months ago. It's SO introspective and freeing. It's immediately turned into my favorite album. Honorable mention to "Fire (Aim Your Arrows High)" and "Mythology". The vocalist, Sierra Kay, is mindbogglingly good and every single song on here is a banger. It's a crime that this is the only album from this band. Sierra has a few other solo projects (See: Neaux, Bad Daughter) and people might also recognize her on A Day to Remember's "If It Means a Lot to You"
2. Tonight Alive - The Other Side. Just more appreciation of a beautiful singer :) This band's from Australia! Faves include "The Ocean", "Bathwater", "Come Home". I also love their standalone single "World Away", and "Temple" on another album
3. Broadside - Into the Raging Sea. This is what I put on in the car if I feel like scream-singing "Is there any point? What's the fucking point?" Otherwise, the album oscillates between being super horny and super depressed, and that's fun to me. This band deserves the world -- I've tried to see them live a few times but always had something come up. Next time! Faves: "The Raging Sea", "Seasons", "Heavenly", and "The Setting Sun". I like the other albums (Old Bones and Paradise), but this is honestly their strongest work. No skips!
4. Bad Omens - The Death of Peace of Mind. Their sound has matured a lot from their earlier stuff but I enjoy everything they've made. The lead singer Noah has been really outspoken about his mental health and shares in some interviews about the creative process from album to album—I appreciate artists who put a lot of care into their work. TDOPOM is a top-to-bottom listen of pure angst, but I will admit that a few of the later tracks feel a little weak. Regardless! Faves include "What It Cost" into "Like a Villain" (that transition is so smooth); "Take Me First"; and "The Grey"
5. La Dispute - Wildlife. My faves are "Harder Harmonies"; "The Most Beautiful Bitter Fruit"; "all our bruised bodies and the whole heart shrinks". Their stuff is a sort of emo post-hardcore, spoken word, stream of consciousness. All their albums have a theme! This one revolves around personal loss and anger and really gets in your face about some tragedies. (Somewhere at the Bottom of the River delves into married affairs and mental health, and is also loosely based on an old folktale; Rooms of the House is kind of historical fiction, about the lives of different people and one man's relationships over time)
other honorable mentions: David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust; Olivia Rodrigo - SOUR; and as a former theater kid, i'm including the Into the Woods soundtrack
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kaddyssammlung · 2 years ago
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Sundowning
– Transcript from Revolver Sleep Token Special Edition
Sleep token formed in 2016 in the UK. They self-released their debut EP “One” in December of that year, before signing to Basic Records for their 2017 three-track follow-up “Two”.
From the beginning, there was a mystique about them: The image of four anonymous musicians in cloaks and ornate-looking masks, their exposed chests and arms, daubed in the thick black paint, invited questions. At first, Sleep Token answered those questions if cryptically but soon they would begin declining all interviews. In the early days, it seems, Sleep Token acknowledged that their story required a little exposition. A commonly held misconception among the fandom is that Sleep Token had only ever done one interview with British music magazine Metal Hammer in 2017, around at that time of the “Calcutta” single release. In fact, the band granted another interview in 2018 to Kerrang and in both of those rare press engagements, Vessel underscored the artistic purpose of their concealed identities.
“How we got here is irrelevant,as irrelevant as who we are - what matters is the music and the message” Vessel declared to Metal Hammer. “We are here to serve, Sleep and project his message”. When asked in that same conversation about the band's genre-defying approach, he said, “life is dark, life is bright, life is ugly, life is beautiful. Don't get lost in genres. They will disorient you, music, as for everyone”. In the Kerrang interview, Vessel doubled down on Sleep Token's philosophy of unhinging the art from its makers. “The true identities behind Sleep Token are immaterial and ultimately irrelevant”. As Vessel said at the time, “art has become entangled with identity...our aesthetic is there to fill the void left by that absence. True to those words, Sleep Token have remained anonymous and eschwed interviews ever since. Instead, they have communicated about entirely through their music and its accompanying visuals. Each song is an apparent offering to the primeval deity known as Sleep.
A once powerful being who, according to the band's lore, promised Vessel ultimate glory if he were to devote himself fully to him. He is now known as Sleep because, as background information shared by Basic Records put it, no modern tongue can properly express its name.
His past saw him wield far greater power than in modern age, bestowing ancient civilizations with the gift of dreams and the curse of nightmares. As insightful fans have noted, Sleep bears a wealth of similarities to the shadow archetype in Jungian philosophy, which is part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, and desires, and the aspects of oneself that are seen as not just unacceptable to society but contradictory to one's own personal morals and values. Is Vessel devoting himself to Sleep by offering him this music as a token or is he appeasing him? The consequences among the fans will have poured their free time into unpacking the overarching narrative in the band's music as that it's the story of a toxic power struggle. Vessel oscillates from a love bordering on obsession to frustration, desperation, and anger at Sleep's apparent indifference or even outright resistance towards him explaining the fluctuations on Sleep token's song to the text. This narrative had already been foregrounded in the band's first two EPs, but it was much more fully realized on the 2019 debut album “Sundowning”, which also marked the first release on Spineform Records. Its title refers to a phenomenon experienced by dementia patients regarding a range of behavioral changes that typically, but not necessarily, begin as the sun is setting and resolves themselves by morning. Those who experience it may become agitated or anxious, sometimes feeling like theyare in a wrong place, like they need to go home despite already being at home.
Sundowning, the album title, might then refer to a feeling of disorientation and distress that comes over Vessel whenever Sleep, presumably a creature of the night, arrives. The lyrics of “the night does not belong to God”, seemingly confirms this. You can remember only till the sun recedes once again. Vessel groans before the chanted hooks come in. The night comes down like heaven. “Sundowning” didn't get a typical album rollout. By the time it was released in November 2019, all of its 12 songs were already in fans' hands. Starting on June 21st, the summer solstice, the band dropped a new track every other Thursday at that time of sunset in the native United Kingdom. Beginning with album opener, that night does not belong to God and proceeding along the tracklist order. From both an artist and a marketing perspective, it was an innovative approach. One of many Sleep token were out to buck tradition, but only did the regularity of the world build a sense of anticipation. But it also kept Sleep Token at the front of fans' minds as they outpaced the speed at which most bands could release singles ahead of a new album.
Brilliantly, the campaign also fit into the band's story. Every fortnight as the sun was setting, Vessel presented yet another offering to Sleep. On “Sundowning”, as well as the band's subsequent LPs, each of these offerings had its own visual identity. In a case of Sleep token's first album, every song is represented by a sigil, a series of interconnected shapes, often lines, triangles, and circles that construct some sort of meaning. It is believed that the symbols have various origins. Some reference the Elder Futhark, (the oldest runic alphabet, which is also referenced in the Sleep token's logo,)
and the Enochian letters (an occult language) while others resemble the symbols for demons in the goetic grimoire Ars Goetia (a 17th century book oof sorcery). The aspect of the sigils that has most fascinated the fans, however, is the connection to alchemical symbology. Alchemy is an ancient tradition that is both philosophical and proto-scientific, and fans have latched onto the alchemical meanings of the sigils as meanings of finding hidden significance written within the songs. For instance, the sigil for the offering features the symbol for a callous or crucible and the symbol for fumes or smokes, suggesting the idea of something being burned as a ritual sacrifice. Within the song itself, Vessel makes this notion more explicit. This is a giving, an offering, in your favor, a sacrifice in your name, he sings.
That's one of the simpler examples. For a song like Dark Signs, the symbology becomes a little more complex. One of the individual symbols in the sigil refers to sublimination, a phenomenon in which someone witnesses something that challenges the limits of human understanding and the capabilities of human comprehension. This may well be that Vessel experiences interacting with sleep. In a chemical context, sublimination refers to a substance transformation from the solid to the gas stage or vice versa, which could be interpreted as a metaphor for the transition from being in one's body to being only a spirit. Meanwhile, the symbol for iron, which also appears in the Dark Signs sigil, is traditionally associated with the process of making two opposite chemical components separate from each other. Consequently, it's hardly a coincidence that the song itself establishes a growing sense of the division between Vessel and Sleep. Where we met, there must have been dark signs. Vessel sings while he later contends in the chorus that I hate who I have become, as a result of surrendering himself to Sleep. Vessel's feelings toward Sleep fluctuate so wildly, that the over-aching narrative of “Sundowning” is hard to grasp at first. The album opens by establishing Vessel's devotion toward Sleep in its most straightforward and reverent form. The minimalistic “the night does not belong to God” is practically a modern devotional hymn, presenting Vessel at his most eager to worship Sleep. In contrast, the offering introduces not only heavier riffs but also a fuller picture of the seemingly limitless capacities Vessel believes he has for love. The reoccurring image of biting and feeding is underscored by every repetition of take a bite, suggesting that Vessel is fully willing to lose parts of himself, even violently, to sustain and please sleep.
By the third track, “Levitate”, the foundations begin to wobble with Vessel, now gripped by anxiety over the prospect of being separated from Sleep or of Sleep no longer needing him. I can tell you won't remember my cracking bones. He despairs, eventually asking, will you levitate, where I won't reach you? In the next song, Dark Signs, his fears have come true and he's looking at the wreckage of the relationship, missing the man he was before the first, before the first even again. Yet after the conflict between them intensifies and “Higher”, “Take Aim” finds Vessel so deep in a state of love that he's defiant, almost daring Sleep to come back to him. Make me tear my body, make me yearn for your embrace. He challenges. “Sugar, a couple of tracks later represents the second emotional peak of the album with Vessel in the full throes of desire but with an undertone of darkness and violence. He knows Sleep plays a twisted little game but remains addicted to the pain none of the less. After the romantic dreaminess of “Drag Me Under”,
“Sundowning” ends on a note of frustration with Bloodsport. Once again, everything for Vessel has fallen apart and he's left exhausted by all the sacrifice for limited reward: “I made Loving You a Bloodsport I can't win” he curses, making the second downturn in his mood and fortune on the record. It serves as a lasting reminder, intensified by the singer sobbing over the final thrills of the piano that their bond as a destructive force where Vessel gives and Sleep takes. Musically speaking, “Sundowning” is arguably Sleep Token's softest album. It might be the most pop-oriented as well. Give, for example, has the slickness and the arcing, aerobic shape in the melody of something that might have floated around the mainstream in the mid-2010s while a vibrating synth lands that and trap percussion of “Dark Signs” and “Sugar” evoke the feeling of modern R&B.
On the other hand, there's plenty here that verifies Sleep Token's metal credentials. The bite of the guitars cut through like a surprise attack in the middle of a song, a bait-and switch structure that has become all the more frequent as Sleep Token have evolved. A notable expectation is “The Offering” which melts siren-like synths with noshing guitars and intertwines them tightly rather than handling them as a separate tool. By far the heaviest song on “Sundowning”, however, is called an alternative metal slice of fury that stones and swaggers with greater harshness than anything else on the album. Recalling Death Tones at their angriest as well as Sleep Token's contemporaries in Liverpool metal upstarts “Loathe”. Regardless, it's rare for Sleep Token to stick to just one sound. Even the anger of “God” dissipates for a while with a delicate, twinkling piano bridge. When “Sundowning” was released, Sleep Token were in a promising position. On October 3, 2019, they performed a ritual at the Underworld, a 500-capacity venue in London that often acts as the first rung on the ladder of an up-and-coming band's success.
Plant a flag at the Underworld and it's a sign your band is truly going somewhere.
Later that year, the album brought them to the US for the first time and then they returned to the UK for a headline tour in the early 2020s. Unbeknownst to them, however, the ritual they played at the 900-capacity Islington Assembly Hall on January 31 would be the final one for almost a year and a half. Not even the act of worshiping Sleep could justify gathering during the COVID-19 pandemic. The band did attempt to organize a series of socially distanced shows known as the Isolation Rituals in March 2021, but the virus was still too rampant at the time for them to go ahead. Not even Sleep himself could know how fast Sleep Token might have risen if there hadn't been a pathogen standing in their way. None of the last, when the stacking of ritual was approved by the government again, would neatly coincidence with a whole new chapter for the band. Sleep Token's son was about to rise to another level.
(This text was taken from the Revovler Special Edition Collector's mag; I don't own any of this)
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syluszaynes-blog · 1 month ago
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Dating MMA FIGHTER Joo Jaekyung would includes
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Dating Joo Jaekyung from **"Jinx"** would be intense, challenging, and deeply rewarding—if you can handle his complex personality. Here’s how I imagine it unfolding, based on his character traits:
### 1. **Domineering & Protective Energy**
- **Public Persona**: As a celebrity MMA fighter, dates would be discreet. Think private training gyms late at night, rooftop dinners away from paparazzi, or drives in his expensive car with tinted windows.
- **Protectiveness**: He’d physically shield you in crowds, glare at anyone staring too long, and might even interrupt a date to confront someone he deems a "threat." His possessiveness borders on obsessive.
### 2. **Emotional Walls & Vulnerability**
- **Stoicism**: He’d rarely express affection verbally. Instead, he shows care through actions—adjusting your scarf, silently pushing food toward you, or gruffly asking if you’re cold.
- **Rare Soft Moments**: After a tough fight or when exhausted, he might rest his head on your lap, seeking silent comfort. These moments feel like victories.
### 3. **Fighter Lifestyle Integration**
- **"Dates" at the Gym**: You’d spend hours watching him train, bringing him water, or even learning self-defense from him (with his impatient but precise corrections).
- **Diet/Routine Rigidity**: Meals revolve around his nutrition plan. Expect protein-heavy, bland dishes—unless he secretly notices your cravings and grumbles, "*Fine, get the dessert.*"
### 4. **Power Struggles & Passion**
- **Arguments**: He’s stubborn and hates "weakness." Disagreements turn explosive, but making up is equally fiery—clenched fists, heated stares, and sudden, rough kisses that leave you breathless.
- **Unspoken Trust**: If you stand up to him (respectfully), he’ll silently respect you more. Defying him is the only way to earn his genuine attention.
### 5. **Hidden Depths**
- **Secret Gestures**: He might commission custom MMA gear in your favorite color, or hire your favorite band to play at a private event—*never* admitting he planned it.
- **Trauma Shadows**: Nightmares from his past could surface. Staying with him during those moments (without pity) would deepen your bond significantly.
### 6. **The Jinx Dynamic**
- **Superstition vs. Devotion**: If he believes you’re his "jinx," he’d oscillate between pushing you away and clinging to you. Winning fights *for you* could become his silent promise.
Absolutely. Let’s dive deeper into the stormy, soul-deep whirlwind of dating **Joo Jaekyung** — where love feels less like a gentle tide and more like stepping into the octagon with your heart on the line.
### **7. The Language of Silence**
- **Reading His Eyes**: Words are landmines for him. A flicker in his dark gaze when you enter a room = *“You’re all I see.”* A tightened jaw when you mention an ex = *“I will dismantle that man bone by bone.”*
- **Touch as Truth**: His hand on the small of your back isn’t possessive—it’s a vow. Calloused fingers brushing your cheek after he wins? That’s his version of poetry.
---
### **8. Conflict & Catharsis**
- **The Fight After the Fight**: Post-match adrenaline makes him volatile. A misplaced joke could spark fury. *“You think this is funny?”* he’d growl, crowding you against a wall—only to collapse against you seconds later, trembling with exhaustion and regret.
- **How You’d Calm Him**: Silence. A cold towel pressed to his split lip. Your voice, steady: *“Breathe, Joo.”* He’d flinch… then obey.
---
### **9. His Unspoken Rituals**
- **Pre-Fight Routine**: You’d be his silent anchor. Helping wrap his hands, adjusting his gloves. No talking. Just your presence centering him. If you whispered *“Win,”* he’d fight like a demon unleashed.
- **Post-Fight Ritual**: Whether he wins or loses, he’d find you first. Sweat, blood, and desperation in his embrace. Needing to feel you *real* beneath his hands.
---
### **10. When *You’re* Hurting**
- **His Response to Your Tears**: Panic disguised as rage. *“Who did this?”* he’d demand, already reaching for his keys. If it’s emotional pain? Awkward, stiff comfort. A blanket thrown over you. A protein shake shoved in your hand (*“Drink. Now.”*).
- **Nightmares (Yours)**: He wouldn’t ask. He’d just pull you into his chest, heartbeat against your ear, one arm locked around you like armor. *“Sleep,”* he’d grunt. And you would.
---
### **11. Social Sabotage**
- **Meeting His World**: Introducing you to his coach = a seismic event. *“This is [Your Name]. She stays.”* End of discussion.
- **Your Friends Terrify Him**: Casual brunches? His personal hell. He’d loom in the corner, glowering at anyone who made you laugh too loud. Later: *“That guy touched your arm.”* You: *“He’s gay, Joo.”* Him: *“…Oh.”*
---
### **12. The "Jinx" Paradox**
- **Superstition as Devotion**: Losing a fight after you argued? He’d blame himself, not you. *“I was distracted… by how much I needed you.”*
- **Breaking the Curse**: The first time he wins with your kiss on his brow? He’d stare at you like you hung the moon. *“Maybe you’re not a jinx… Maybe you’re my fucking lucky charm.”*
---
### **13. Unexpected Softness**
- **Secret Skills**: Surprise culinary talent. He cooks you *galbi jjim* (braised short ribs) at 2 AM after you had a bad day—perfectly tender, never admits he practiced.
- **Animal Whisperer**: Stray cats follow him. He’d deny feeding them… but you’d find tuna in his gym bag.
---
### **The Real Challenge: Loving Him Without Losing Yourself**
Jaekyung’s world is a gravity well—intense, all-consuming. To survive it:
- **Hold Your Ground**: Match his stare. *“I’m not one of your opponents. Talk to me.”**
- **Name His Feelings**: *“You’re scared.”* *“You miss me.”* Force him to acknowledge the humanity beneath the armor.
- **Walk Away When Necessary**: Sometimes he needs to fear losing you to remember how to hold on.
**Why It’s Worth It**:
Because when the armor cracks? You see the boy who fought his way out of hell. The one who *chooses* you in the quiet moments:
- His forehead pressed to yours in an elevator.
- A single, rough thumb wiping away your tears.
- The way he says your name—like a secret only he gets to keep.
### **Key Challenges**:
- **Communication**: You’d need to decode his grunts, scowls, and gestures. "I’m fine" usually means he’s hurt. "Whatever" might mean "I missed you."
- **Patience**: His temper and single-minded focus on fighting require thick skin.
- **Public Scrutiny**: Tabloids painting you as a "distraction" or gold-digger. He’d shut down rumors violently.
### **Rewards**:
- **Unwavering Loyalty**: Once committed, he’d destroy anyone who hurts you.
- **Growth**: Seeing his icy exterior thaw *only for you*—a smirk during your joke, his calloused hand brushing yours when he thinks no one sees.
**In essence**: Dating Jaekyung isn’t roses and poetry—it’s adrenaline, silent understanding, and raw emotion. You’d fight for his heart as fiercely as he fights in the ring, but earning his trust would feel like a championship belt. 🥊💖
*(Note: This aligns with his canon complexity in "Jinx"—where his hardness masks vulnerability, and love becomes his greatest battle.)*
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