#rock-a-bye bivalve
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That one SpongeBob episode where they adopt the clam but Hiro is SpongeBob and Byakuya is Patrick if they actually had a kid.
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why aren’t you smiling bro you helped her make the perfect frog gene waveform in just hours linearly but probably multiple days nonlinearly (took kanaya and karkat a few weeks but they rushed near the end cause the reckoning started). two of most accomplished characters in homestuck right here they bore the weight of the new universe


theyre one of the top collaborators of all time they love making stuff together. from music to interests to shitty christmas decor to the perfect frog universe. hell to their own quests being intertwined (dave’s involves hephaestus and the forge, jade’s volcano)
#hs#homestuck#davejade#theyre like spongebob and patrick in rock-a-bye bivalve but actually functional and reasonable parents
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Oh boy here we go
Season 3 Episode 49b "Rock-A-Bye Bivalve" (for both of the first two time cards)
Season 8 Episode 174b "For Here or to Go"
Season 6 Episode 122a "Chum Bucket Supreme"
Season 3 Episode 50a "Wet Painters"
Season 5 Episode 99b "Spongehenge"
Season 6 Episode 116b "To Squarepants or Not to Squarepants"
I cannot find where this "3 hours later" time card comes from for the life of me the only other place I found it was on pinterest on... the official google dot com pinterest page ???
Season 7 Episode 140a "The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom"
Season 4 Episode 79a "The Pink Purloiner"
Season 7 Episode 136a "A Day Without Tears"
This is actually the only title card in this post and its the one for the Season 1 episode "Pickles"
Season 7 Episode 150a "Krusty Dogs"
Season 5 Episode 93c "BlackJack"
Season 6 Episode 101b "Krabby Road"
Season 3 Episode 42b "My Pretty Seahorse"
Season 5 Episode 82a "The Original Fry Cook"
Season 7 Episode 137a "One Coarse Meal"
Season 4 Episode 76b "Hocus Pocus"
Season 6 Episode 102b "Nautical Novice"
Season 7 Episode 145b "Enchanted Tiki Dreams"
Season 4 Episode 79a "The Pink Purloiner" again
and finally
FINALLY
Season 4 Episode 65b "Funny Pants"
This took me a little over an hour if you'll excuse me I have a nap to go take now























here's a bunch of spongebob titlecards i hoarded
#season 3#season 4#season 5#season 6#season 7#season 8#fun fact while im here rock a bye bivalve has the most timecards out of any episode in the series#another fun fact looking through spongebob time cards for an hour can give you a mild headache
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the episode of spongebob where he and patrick take care of a baby clam together was the first time i saw discrimination against gay couples

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Wet Beast Wednesday: scallops
I may have only discussed them once before on this series, but I'm not saying "bye" to bivalves. One of the coolest bivalve subgroups are the scallops. While most Bivalves live in one spot their entire lives, scallops boldly go where no clam has gone before and take to the seas, actively swimming.
(Image: a pile of captured scallops. They are bivalves with shells shaped like hand fans with two wing-like structures near the hinge. The shells have ridges running from the hinge to the outer edge. Small pink ID tags have been glued to them. End ID)
Scallops are members of the family Pectinidae. As with all bivalves, they have two shells that interlock with a pair of valves which form hinges. The two shells are not identical. Most scallops prefer to rest on one valve (usually the right one), which results in that shell growing more rounded than the other one. Growing from the back of the shell near the hinge are two structures called wings, ears, or auricles, which are unique to scallops. Another shell feature unique to scallops is the ctenolium, a honeycomb shaped structure that is used to help distrubute byssal threads. Byssal threads are structures found in most bivalves. They are strong and sticky filaments that attach bivalves to rocks. Most scallops only attach themselves to rocks as juveniles and lose the ctenolium as adults. The scallops shell has a distinctive and usually symmetrical shape. Many have distinctive ridges running from hinge to the front of the shell. These are supported by structures called ribs. These provide extra integrity to the shell, but increase weight, requiring an evolutionary balancing act to get the most benefit out of them.
(Image: a live scallop with the opening facing the camera. Inside the shell is a fleshy structure with multiple small tentacles and two rows of small, blue eyes. There is algae and a barnacle growing on the shell. End ID)
The inside of the shell contains the body of the scallop. A large portion of the interior is taken up by the adductor muscle, which attaches to the inside of both shells. The adductor muscle of scallops is larger and more developed than those found in most bivalves. In all bivalve species, its purpose is to close the shells. Scallops also use it for swimming. The scallop adductor muscle is made of both smooth and striated muscle tissue. The striated muscle moves fast but tires out quicker and is sued for rapidly opening and closing the shell when swimming. The smooth muscle is slower but uses much less energy, allowing the scallop to hold its shell closed for a long time. As with all bivalves, the shell defaults to the open position thanks to a structure called the hinge ligament and require active muscle contraction to close. Most of the rest of the body is the digestive system, reproductive system, circulatory system, and nervous system. The nervous system is a fairly simple nerve net and lacks a brain. Unlike most bivalves, scallops do not intake food through a siphon. Instead, they open their shells to let water move over a structure that filters out food particles and imbeds them in mucus. cilia then moves the mucus into the mouth and through the digestive system. The digestive system also passes through the heart. Around the opening of the shell is a structure called the mantle. The mantle is lined with tentacles that help filter out inedible things from the water.
(image: a scallop with one shell removed to show the internal anatomy. End ID)
Also along the mantle are two rows of eyes, one for each shell and up to 200 in total. Most bivalves don't have eyes. Scallops, being swimming animals, do have eyes and they are strange, not just in comparison to vertebrate eyes, but in comparison to the eyes of other mollusks. Each eyeball has a lens, a pupil, two retinas, and at the back, a system of mirrors that direct and focus light in a similar manner as telescopes. The mirrors are composed of guanine (the same stuff as the "G" nucleotide in DNA) and are shaped like convex squares. There can be over 100,000 mirrors in each eye. For a long time, it was thought that the proximity of the mirrors to the retinas would result in an unfocused, blurry image. It has recently beed discovered that the cells that eye can change shape, potentially adjusting the mirrors for a sharper image. Scallops also have more opsins (light-sensing proteins in the retina) than humans and they may not be evenly distributed, potentially allowing different eyes to see different parts of the light spectrum. While it's not clear how much information the scallops can interpret with their lack of a brain, they at least can tell the difference between ares of contrast and can detect motion. Scallops seem to mainly use their vision to detect predators and to adjust their swimming and feeding behavior.
(Image: a close-up shot of scallop eyes. They are blue balls with a black pupil. End ID)
Now for the reason Spongebob turned scallops into the undersea equivalent of birds. Unlike the vast majority of bivalves, who are either immobile or bury themselves in the sediment, scallops are free-swimming. At least most of them, there are some species that live their lives attached to rock or another structure, like mussels or oysters. The body plan of scallop shells is adapted to facilitate swimming. They have two main means of locomotion called swimming and jumping. Both involve the scallop opening the shell to intake water, then rapidly closing it to force the water out. While swimming, the water is ejected through small holes near the hinge called exhalant apertures. The water is forced over the shell's wings and can be sent out over the left or right wing. Most of the time, they will alternate which wing the water is pushed over, resulting in a zig-zag movement. In jumping, the water is forced out the way it came, propelling the scallop backwards. It usually comes to a rest on the sediment between jumps. Both swimming and jumping cost a lot of energy and the scallop will have to rest afterwards. their locomotion is used to avoid predation, with starfish being their main predators. Some species also have a muscular foot that can extend from the shell and is used to bury the scallop.
(Gif: a scallop swimming over a field of seagrass, showing off the zig-zag motion and its ability to alter its course. End ID)
Some species of scallop are dioecious, meaning they have distinct males and females. Others are simultaneous hermaphrodites while still others are protandrous sequential hermaphrodites, beginning their lives as males and becoming females when they get older. Their reproductive organs are called roe and are red in females and white in males. Scallops are broadcast spawners. They release eggs and sperm into the water column. After a few weeks, fertilized eggs will hatch into drifting larvae called spat. Spat look like miniature, transparent versions of the adults. As they age, the spat will drop to the seafloor. This event has the delightful name of spatfall. The spat use byssal threads to attach themselves to whatever they can find and will remain like that until they have matured. Most species lose their byssal threads as adults, but a few retain them and do not become swimmers. Depending on species, scallops can live for up to 20 years.
(Image: a group of spat housed in captivity They are smaller, transluscent versions of the adults. End ID)
The part of scallops that people usually eat is the adductor muscle, though the roe is also edible. Scallops have been eaten by various peoples for millennia and excessive catching has caused severe declines in wild populations. This has led to the rise of many aquaculture methods for growing scallops from the spat stage. Because scallops are filter feeders, they improve local water quality and when their numbers diminish, water quality worsens. On the other hand, when massive numbers of scallops are raised together in aquaculture, they can cause localized eutrophication, an increase of nutrients that triggers massive microbe growth and reduces oxygen levels in the water. Dredging, the main method of capturing wild scallops, destroys benthic ecosystems, which can take decades to be restored. All of this for a food that tastes like congealed air.
(Image: a scallop aquaculture setup. It consists of multiple nets hanging from the surface of the water, each separated into multiple layers holding multiple scallops. A SCUBA diver is swimming through the area. End ID)
#wet beast wednesday#scallop#scallops#bivalve#mollusk#molluscs#marine biology#biology#zoology#ecology#animal facts#informative#educational#image described
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Whitesnake and Pucci's dynamic to me is just the entire Spongebob Episode Rock A Bye Bivalve. To me.
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That'th mah boy!
Working at an aquarium will have you saying things like “this is my favorite scallop because he’s sassy”
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Comic: Just call me mommy! Reference: SpongeBob SquarePants: Rock-a-Bye Bivalve
Taskmaster ©︎ Marvel
Art by me
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Bill and Ted: Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve
Hi everyone! I am so excited to share my new fic with you guys! Well, old-new I guess. This has been sitting on my computer for the longest time now and I finally got around to finishing the first part! I've decided this is going to be two-parter and the second part will be even more exciting!
Not only am I trying to get back into the Bill and Ted fandom, I'm also trying to get back into writing and I think I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
Anyways I'll quit rambling. I really hope you guys enjoy this first part and please feel absolutely free to like, reblog, follow and comment.
Be Excellent to Each other and Party on Dudes!
-Deidra
Words: 3.3K
“No more pencils, no more books!” Bill S. Preston Esquire cried out happily as he and his best friend Ted “Theodore” Logan ran out the front doors of San Dimas High before jumping down the small flight of stairs in front of the school.
Ted jumped to the ground after Bill, his long, dark hair flying up as he did so, a wide, excited smile that matched his best friends on his face. “No more teacher’s dirty looks!” Ted finished the rhyme before he and Bill did their signature guitar move.
It was the last day of school and Bill and Ted were more than ready for three months of nothing but rest and relaxation. They deserved it after all…the boys had to work their butts off in order to earn the ‘C’ averages they made in all their classes.
“Just think, Dude!” Bill exclaimed as he and Ted walked side-by-side on the sidewalk in the direction of Bill’s house.
“Three whole months of nothing but sleep, tv, video games and-“Ted smirked at his best friend, knowing good and well where he was going with this.
“-ROCK N ROLL!” the boys cried in unison before jumping up and playing air guitar again.
By this time, the two were just a couple feet away from Bill’s house, Bill taking his house key out of his pants pocket, not wanting to waste a single second of vacation time.
As Bill slid in the key to unlock the front door, the excitement he felt was almost overwhelming, Ted feeling the exact same way as he practically bounced on the soles of his shoes.
“What should we do first?” Ted wanted to know, as if taking the question straight from his best friend’s mind.
The two walked inside, smiles on their faces as they collapsed on the living room couch.
“Watch MTV? Go relax by the pool? Go out to the garage and have a most excellent jam session?”
Before Bill could answer, however, his tv suddenly switched on by itself, their mentor and friend from the future Rufus on the screen in front of them.
“Hello, my most excellent friends”, Rufus greeted his two teenage companions.
Bill and Ted snapped their heads in the direction of Rufus’s voice.
“Rufus?” the boys questioned in unison; voices full of confusion.
“What are you doing in Bill’s TV?” Ted asked, a goofy grin forming. “Are you auditioning for one of those singing contests shows?”
Rufus chuckled and slightly shook his head. “Not this time, Ted”, he replied, the smile on his face slowly fading.
In unison, he held up a piece of paper in either hand, the look on his face stern.
“I’ve been looking over your final report cards”, Rufus explained, “and it seems as if you two only passed your classes by a hair.”
“Not a problem, Rufus”, Bill assured his friend with a confident look that matched the tone in his voice as he leaned back against the couch.
He put his feet up on the coffee table before continuing.
“My pal Ted and I just need a bit of a vacation from our everyday learning environment. By the time school starts again, we’ll be ready for some learning!”
The goofy smile returning to his face, Ted happily nodded in agreement only for Rufus to softly chuckle and shake his head in disbelief.
“I wish I could say I believe you, William '', Rufus told the curly blonde, a small filing cabinet now beside him. He opened it up and skimmed through a few file holders until he came across what he was looking for, pulling out a small stack of papers from one of the files.
“But it looks as if your report cards of the past say otherwise.” Bill and Ted glanced at each other, looks on their faces matching that of two kids who were being scolded by their parents.
“It’s because of this”, Rufus went on, “that I have decided that you two don’t really need a summer vacation this year- “
“No way!” Bill and Ted interrupted in unison, absolute horror in their voices.
“Yes way”, Rufus mocked their exclamation calmly, a smirk slowly forming on his face. “Instead, I think this would be a great opportunity for the two of you to learn a lesson in responsibility that will make the concern of your schoolwork seem as simple as tying your shoes.”
Bill and Ted gave each other a nervous look. There was no telling the kind of thing Rufus would have them do!
“F-For the whole summer?” Ted stammered, fear taking over his whole body.
Rufus nodded. “For the whole summer”, he confirmed.
“What about our parents?” Bill wanted to know. “How are we going to do what you want us to do without them finding out?”
“I’ve already taken that into consideration”, Rufus told the boys. “I have arranged for your parents-“he looked at Ted “-and your brother, Ted, a three month trip to Hawaii.”
At this bit of news, Bill and Ted slowly exchanged looks of shock, the eyes wide and jaws agape.
“Bogus!” Bill exclaimed.
“Most heinous!” Ted agreed.
“I’m sorry, gentlemen”, Rufus told them sincerely, “but I feel as if this is the only way you two are going to learn.” “Not only that”, the older man was quick to add, “but this will also teach you two about the true meaning of teamwork.”
Now came the dreaded question. “Well, what do we have to do, Rufus?” Bill asked.
At the question, Rufus smiled. “I’m glad you asked, Bill”, he replied as he looked down at his watch. “You should find out right about…”
As if on cue, Bill and Ted’s heads snapped up in attention at the sound of a knock at Bill’s front door.
“…now”, Rufus finished his sentence.
Nervously, Bill stood up and answered it, Ted on his heels.
“Hello?” Bill asked, sticking his head out the door and looking from left to right, only to see that no one was standing on his front steps.
“Bill!” Ted cried after a couple moments; his eyes wide with surprise as something sitting on the front porch caught his attention. “Look!” He pointed to the object sitting at Bill’s feet.
Looking down, the blonde saw something small wiggling around underneath a small, light blue blanket which fit perfectly inside a small basket. Eyes wide with a mixture of surprise, wonder, and confusion, Bill slowly and carefully bent down, picking up the basket.
The blonde then slowly and carefully took a bit of the tiny blanket in his fingertips before slowly pulling it back only slightly, a bundle of blonde curls that matched his own coming into view, the face of a tiny human following close behind with chocolate brown eyes staring back into his green ones.
The tiny creature’s mouth was formed in a small ‘o’ of the same confusion, wonder, and surprise that filled the teen who was holding him. “Dude!” Ted gasped. “That’s a baby!”
In that instant, a wave of panic rushed over Bill and he nearly jumped clear out of his skin when Rufus’ voice could be heard again. “You are correct, Ted”, the older man said from his spot inside Bill’s television with a knowing smile. “Gentlemen, say hello to little Keanu Alexander. You two are going to be his parents for the summer.”
“What?!” Bill and Ted exclaimed in unison, their eyes almost bugging out of their heads. Rufus nodded, holding his ground.
“Thanks to the technology of the future”, he explained. “I took half of your DNA’s and put them together to create the baby you see before you.”
At this piece of information, Bill and Ted gave each other awkward looks before looking back at Rufus who immediately smiled and shook his head. “Now I know what you two are thinking”, he told them, “but this is just a project for you guys to learn that there are some responsibilities harder than doing well in school and maybe by the end of the summer, you guys will have learned a thing or two from this experience.”
He clasped his hands together, his smile getting slightly larger. “Now that that is settled, I’ll leave the two of you to decide what your next step is going to be. Best of luck, my most excellent friends.”
And with that, Bill’s tv switched off and the house went silent.
Bill and Ted each looked at the baby Bill was holding in complete silence before Ted nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So, what do we do now?” he asked.
Bill shrugged. “I don’t know, Dude”, he replied before an idea hit him moments later. “Hey! I think there is some of my old baby stuff in the attic! Let’s go see if we can find it!
“Excellent!” Ted agreed.
Bill carefully put baby Keanu back in the basket and picked it up by the handle before following Ted up to the very top floor of his house.
**
Pulling on the pull chain, the dark attic was suddenly filled with light, boxes upon boxes among other antiques and items of all kinds from all parts of the attic greeted the two teens.
“Whoa!” Ted gasped as he and Bill walked further inside. “This looks like my uncle’s storage room!”
Bill said nothing as he walked to the very back of the attic where he saw several boxes stacked on top of each other, some labeled BILL’S BABY CLOTHES and BILL’S BABY TOYS among other things.
Bill smiled widely. “Ted!” he called. “Over here, dude!” Ted hurried over to Bill’s side and smiled just as wide as his friend. “Alright!” he cried. “Let’s get moving!” He took a couple of the smaller boxes in his arms and started to walk towards the ladder which led to the second floor.
It was only then that a new realization hit Bill when he heard Keanu sneeze from the basket. Frowning, Bill gently set the basket down and picked up the tiny infant who, he now saw, was wearing only a diaper. Ted looked over his shoulder when he did not hear Bill’s footsteps behind him. “What’s wrong, Bill?” he asked.
“How are we going to watch the baby and get these boxes down at the same time?” Bill thought out loud. Setting down the boxes, Ted began to think until suddenly…”I got it!” Ted cried. “Why don’t I bring the boxes down while you stay downstairs with the baby?” “Ted! Great thinking, Dude!” Bill praised his friend, causing Ted to smile happily.
Bill then spotted the few pieces of his crib sitting against the side of the attic. “I’ll put the baby in my room”, he said, “and then I’ll come back for my old crib. Then I can have it set up when you have the rest of the stuff ready!” “Excellent!” the boys exclaimed in unison, playing air guitar. Well, Bill played air guitar as best he could. This caused Keanu to start laughing, Bill and Ted giving him a smile.
**
“Well, that’s the last of it, Bill”, Ted announced as he put down the final box among the few others in his best friend’s room before wiping the sweat off his forehead. “Phew!” Ted sighed as he slumped down on Bill’s bed, lying on his back. It was only then that he noticed something was slightly different. Smiling wide, Ted sat up and saw that Bill’s old crib was set up against the wall in front of him.
“Hey!” he cried. “You finished it!”
“Yep!” came Bill’s voice as he walked down the hallway, “and this little dude is ready for anything!” Bill entered the room with a now fully dressed baby Keanu in his arms.
The baby was dressed in one of Bill’s old baby outfits: a white onesie with a black bow-tie below the collar, the words Ladies, I have arrived below it with the word arrived in black cursive font. Tiny black socks covered the baby’s equally tiny feet as well.
“You look most excellent, Little Dude!” Ted told Keanu before ruffling his curls, causing the baby to babble happily and reach his little arms out to Ted. Smiling, Ted gently took the baby from Bill and began playing with him as he talked to him in baby talk.
It was only five minutes into playtime that Keanu suddenly started crying loudly. “Ted!” Bill cried. “What did you do, Dude?”
“What?” Ted cried. “I-I didn’t do anything Bill! I was just playing with him and he started crying! I swear!” Bill knew he was wrong to accuse his best friend like that, but the baby’s cries caught him completely off guard.
Keanu’s cries were now getting louder. “What do we do?!” Ted asked in a panic as he began to gently rock the baby. “Uhhhh ….ummm”, Bill stammered, trying to come up with an idea and quick. Doing the very first thing that came to mind, Bill started making funny noises with faces to match.
“Blah-blah-blah! Look at the funny face!” the teen said as he rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. “Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo! Look at the funny face!” His face beginning to get a little sore after a few minutes and with the baby’s cries not letting up, Bill decided to admit defeat. However, Ted was not giving up so easily.
“Maybe he’s hungry”, the teen spoke his thoughts out loud. “Oh, bogus!” Bill cried, suddenly remembering something. So that’s what his dad wanted him to do this afternoon! “We don’t have any milk!”
He began digging through his pants’ pockets for the tiniest bit of money, even checking his socks and shoes a couple times, but he had nothing. “You got any money, Ted?” Bill asked, a slightly desperate tone in his voice. Ted began checking his own pockets after handing the baby to Bill. “Sorry, dude”, he said. “I’m broke.”
“What can we feed him then?” Bill wanted to know. At the question, Ted’s face brightened, his wide, goofy grin on his face. “I know just the thing!” he cried with confidence, running down to the kitchen before Bill could ask anything else.
Hearing Ted fishing around in the kitchen cabinets moments later, Bill gently began to rock little Keanu to help soothe him at least a little. “Shh shh shh shh” Bill softly whispered in the baby’s ear, beginning to pace his bedroom floor. “It’s all gonna be ok. Ted will be back any minute with something for you to eat.”
As soon as he had finished that sentence, Bill’s eyes went a little wide at the sound of…the microwave running? ‘Oh’, he thought with a smile, relieved that his best friend had found something for the little dude. ‘Ted probably found some canned milk Missy keeps in the kitchen sometimes for her ‘beauty treatments.’
Bill was about to finish his seventh lap around the room when he heard Ted’s footsteps rushing down the hall and into his bedroom. Slightly out of breath with the smile still on his face, Ted showed Bill what he had come up with.
“Veggie burger!” he cried happily. Bill glanced down at the paper plate in his best friend’s hand and sure enough there sat a leftover veggie burger from the Preston’s dinner last night.
“Dude!” Bill proclaimed. “Babies don’t eat veggie burgers! They can’t even chew them!”
“You’re right Bill!” Ted replied before facepalming himself with his free hand. “I don’t even know what I was thinking!”
With that, Ted took the veggie burger from the plate and took a big bite out of it, chewing it slowly for several moments.
“I’ll just chew it for him!” he cried happily though a mouthful of burger before giving a couple more good chews and opening his mouth, aiming the chewed-up veggie burger at little Keanu’s mouth.
“Ted!” Bill cried in a disgusted voice. “Dude, that's so disgusting!” Ted swallowed the chewed-up burger in his mouth. “Birds do it!” he informed Bill. “Does he look like a bird to you?” Bill snapped before shaking off the frustration he was feeling.
“Okay”, Bill said after clearing his head for a moment. “Let’s think of something else…”
As Bill was coming up with a new solution, a strong, foul smell met Ted’s nostrils.
“How about chili?” Bill finally suggested.
Ted gently took the baby from his best friend again as if he wanted to inspect something. Carefully looking in the baby’s diaper, all of Ted’s suspicions were now confirmed.
“Oh, most heinous!” he cried. “Looks like he already had chili, Dude!”
“Ugh!” Bill groaned in disgust as he pinched his nose closed with the tip of his thumb and pointer finger. “Did you see any diapers in those boxes, Ted?”
Ted nodded, walking over to Bill’s six-shelves dresser, and opening the third one from the top where a couple neatly folded stacks of Pampers diapers greeted him.
"Hold on just one second", Ted told his best friend with a smile as he carefully laid the baby on Bill's bed. Not even three minutes later, little Keanu's crying had stopped and Ted hugged the giggling baby close.
"Here he is!" he exclaimed. "Good as new!"
"Ted!" Bill's voice had a touch of bewilderment to it as he took the baby in his own arms. He had known Ted pretty much all his life but Bill had never known that his best friend knew how to change a baby's diaper! "How did you know how to do that?"
Ted grinned and swatted his hand to the side in modesty, slipping his other hand in his shorts pocket as he smiled at the ground before looking back up at Bill.
“Aw, my dad had me help out with Deacon when he was a baby”, he explained. “You know, I can’t believe I remember how to do that.”
Silence followed as little Keanu slowly fell asleep in Bill’s arms.
***
A few minutes later Bill and Ted were walking out of Bill’s kitchen, a can of Coke in each of their hands. Bill sighed as Ted opened his soda, taking a drink.
“What’s wrong, Bill?” Ted asked.
“Nothing”, Bill replied as the two teens sat on the couch. “I just think it sucks that we won’t be able to have any fun this summer.”
“What are you talking about?” Ted asked with a positive smile. “Taking care of a baby could be fun.”
“How?” Bill wondered out loud.
“Hmmm…” Ted tapped his chin as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to think. “It could be like playing house!” he said after a moment. “One of us can be the mom and the other can be the dad.”
At his best friend’s response Bill laughed out loud.
“No way!” the curly blonde cried out. “No way am I putting on any of Missy’s clothes!”
At this Ted laughed too. “That’s not what I mean”, he said.
Bill opened his own Coke and sipped thoughtfully in silence for a few minutes. The images of him and Ted playing with little baby Keanu, and taking turns feeding him, changing him, and rocking him to sleep slowly entered his mind.
“Yeah”, Bill finally said with a small smile. “I guess it could be fun and besides, the little dude is totally cute.”
Ted nodded in agreement. “I know. Believe me Bill, this summer will go by in no time.”
“Or”, Bill quickly added, a better idea coming to mind. “We do so well at taking care of the baby that Rufus lets us off the hook early!”
“Hey yeah!” Now Ted was even more excited, his smiling having grown bigger.
“Then let’s do it!” Bill exclaimed, lifting his soda can. “To being the best parents a kid ever had!”
Ted lifted his own can. “And to the most rockin summer ever!” he added.
And with the sound of the two cans hitting together, it was official.
#bill and ted#bill and ted's excellent adventure#my writing#my post#bill s preston esquire#ted theodore logan#bill and ted imagine#bill and ted's bogus journey
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That Darn Gator is the better Rock-a-Bye Bivalve because neither Sam nor Max becomes a neglectful father/husband
sam and max are able to subvert a lot of cartoon tropes by the fact that they are even more insane than most cartoon characters but they are also strangely wholesome and good people and nice to each other. it's cool
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Season 3 Episode 49b "Rock-A-Bye Bivalve"

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Showing people Azumanga Daioh, Lucky Star, and Taisho Baseball Girls like I'm SpongeBob in the episode Rock-a-bye Bivalve
#better than twitter#i say this as if it will work#even though the people i would do this for are like my grandmother#who turn down literally everything that matches what they want#because they just want a reason to complain
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petey n dogman r kinda like rock a bye bivalve if u think abt it
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the Parent Life idea u mentioned is making me want to write/see a fic of that. Double life but they have eggs to take care of...
a full on fic would be sooo out of my wheelhouse but I do find this concept absolutely hilarious and yeah I'd love to see someone who is not me take it on. I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out which pair is the most likely to unknowingly re-enact the spongebob episode rock a bye bivalve and I think the answer at this point is all of them.
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Spongebob Squarepants screen captures season 3, episode 18 "Rock-A-Bye Bivalve".
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