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arrow-guy · 5 years ago

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Out of Time (1/??)

Synopsis: Asta is a woman out of time. She’s strong, and damn near indestructible, but when she wakes up hundreds of years in the future, she’s completely lost. She finds a new family in Peggy Carter and friends in people that she never would have dreamed of. But not everyone gets what they want, right?

A/N: Alright, I’m not really one to write OC content, but I couldn’t resist with this story. It’s a huge project that’s going to cover a lot of ground, but I hope it’ll be as fun to read as it has been to write. If you’d like, I’ve put together a Spotify playlist for this fic and you’re more than welcome to listen along!

Pairing: Jack ThompsonxOFC (Steve RogersxOFC endgame)

Word Count: 10.3k

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Playlist

Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong

“This all must be quite shocking for you.”

“I am not sure that’s the phrasing I would use.”

“Then how would you describe it?” The woman tilted her head to the side.

“I…” I sighed. “It’s disorienting. If I truly have been asleep for more than three hundred years, then there is so much that I’ve missed.”

“Your family?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I’ve lost so much time. There’s so much history that I missed. I have very little idea where I am, let alone how this new world works.”

She hummed. “I understand.”

“I’m not sure that you do.” I gestured to the small room. “All of this is foreign to me. Lamps that light at the flip of a switch, listening devices, new weapons. Carriages without horses or mules. Everything.”

“Yes, there’s a lot we have to teach you. If you’re willing to learn, that is.”

“You don’t know me. What I’m capable of.”

“Then teach us,” she said. “Work with us. I, for one, would like to help you build a new life here.”

Overwhelmed with emotion, I clenched my hands in my lap. “Why?”

“Because everyone deserves a chance. You never got yours.” She leaned forward on the table. “Do you have a name?”

I shook my head. “Not one that is worth using.”

“Then I suppose that means you get to choose a new one.” She smiled kindly and pushed her chair back from the table. “I’ll give you some time to think about everything.”

“No.” She stopped in her tracks. “I’ve made my decision.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll stay,” I said. “If you will have me.”

“Of course we will. And, your name?”

“M-my name… Asta. My name will be Asta.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Asta. I’m Peggy Carter.” She grinned. “I have a very good feeling about our future.”

“You’ll be staying here for the time being,” Peggy showed me into a small apartment. “You’re only three doors down from me, so come find me if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Peggy.”

“It’s nothing, Asta, really.” She fussed with the cushions on the small couch. “As of Friday, you are legally my sister. If someone asks for your surname, you tell them it’s Carter. Understood?”

“I understand, but I have no accent. It’s hardly believable.”

“If you’re questioned, we’ll say you were sent to live with relatives here during the first war. You stayed here for university and lost your accent when you were young.”

“I feel as if we may lose track of this lie.”

“We’ll be careful. If you have to leave your room, I’ll go with you. Field any questions someone may ask.”

“Alright.”

“There isn’t much that you can talk about from this century until you start your lessons.”

“When will we start?”

“Tomorrow morning. We’ll go to the library and you can choose whatever you like.” She paused to look back at me. “You can read, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I can read and write.”

“I apologize. I have to ask, as we don’t fully know what kind of education someone from your time might’ve received.”

“Seems as though it’s something that would have been recorded,” I muttered.

“Most history caters to what the rich and successful did,” Peggy explained. “Much of British history, specifically, focuses on the plague and royal drama.”

I shook my head. “Ridiculous.”

“No argument here.” She folded her arms. “I’ll be back to get you for dinner, alright?”

I nodded and she left.

I only lived in that first apartment for about four months before I was moved to a room at the SSR headquarter in New York. There, I could be better monitored by the SSR. Living there meant that no one asked questions that they shouldn’t and I was able to learn and ask questions without someone looking at me like I’d grown a tail. Living there made it more convenient for them to run their tests. They weren’t nearly as invasive as I might have expected them to be, but they often left me exhausted and worn down. The day they realized that I could withstand the explosion from a grenade was particularly exciting for their team of scientists. I, however, went back to my room at the end of the day and collapsed into bed after picking and brushing the shrapnel from my hair.

Peggy visited me as often as she could in those first few months. As it stood, she wasn’t allowed out of her apartment after a certain time. I never really understood curfews for grown women during that time. I have a feeling it was set as a way to control the tenants. We went out on our weekly trips to the library. She would quiz me on things I’d learned on our walk to and from, our arms laden with books. She was the first real friend I’d made since childhood and I cherished every moment I got with her.

The science team got bored with testing my strength and durability nearly four months, and by then the SSR signed off on a select group of agents to begin training me in combat. I started off learning hand to hand combat but had to hold back in order to keep from hurting the trainers. Enough were scared of me that they moved on to using heavy bags and demonstrating throws and takedowns on football dummies. It was only when new agents were brought in that I actually got to put any of that training to use. Most gave up after two sessions with me if they were smart.

Three months into my training, Peggy was allowed to slowly incorporate casework, provided it wasn’t anything that required any kind of physical altercation. I think they saw me as a walking lawsuit at the time. When I stepped between Agent Thompson and an angry suspect with a shotgun, their opinion seemed to change. He and I had had little to do with one another before that, though Peggy had worked closely with both him and Agent Sousa. We became more familiar with one another after that incident.

“Y’know, I wondered what your deal was when we first found you,” Jack mused one day.

“Oh?”

“Well, yeah. Some mysterious woman gets found asleep in a coffin, Snow White style, of course a guy’s bound to be curious.”

“Have you figured out my deal yet, then?” I asked, resting my chin in my hand.

“You’re hard to read,” he said. “So, no.”

“Mmm,” I hummed. “Pitty, that.”

He snorted and shook his head, but I caught the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. We went back to our paperwork in silence. For some reason, it was easier to pick him out of the crowd during training for the next few weeks. I got suspicious of how often I saw him after an additional two weeks and began to notice money changing hands. It took a couple days before I realized that money only made an appearance when I fought a new agent. I let it go on for another week before I confronted him about it.

“Stop betting on the new agents, Thompson.”

He’d grinned. “Or what?”

“Or I’ll kick your ass,” I said.

“Didn’t think you knew how to talk like that,” he said. “I’m impressed, Carter.”

“You’d be surprised, the things that I know,” I smirked. “I’m a quick study.”

“Oh, I know. Midge says you’ve read through about half the public library by now.”

“You know she doesn’t like to be called Midge.” I shook my head and clipped up the heavy bag. “I don’t get why you treat her so poorly. If she were a man, she’d be your best friend.”

He shook his head. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I folded my arms and leaned against the wall to study him. “You’ve seen her in action. Hell, she’s half the reason you’re alive.”

“She is not.”

“Who do you think sent someone to check on you in California?” His eyes went wide. “Yes, I know you were shot in your hotel room.”

“I- That’s classified.”

“Which is why only Peggy and I know about it.”

“Why would you know?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Because I’m classified, Jack. No one’s supposed to know about me, so I have the pleasure of knowing about everyone else.”

“Impressive.”

“Quit deflecting.”

“Quit interrogating me,” he hissed.

“Ah, don’t like people getting close to your truth, do you?”

He growled and took a swing at me. I grabbed his fist, stopping him in his tracks, planted my foot in the middle of his chest, and kicked him away. He stumbled back, lost his balance, and fell to the mat. He groaned as he sat up and pressed one hand to the small of his back.

“Don’t throw a punch if you’re not ready for a fight,” I said. “Next time, I’m not going easy on you.”

“That was you going easy?”

“Did you know that I could crush your skull with one hand?” I crouched down in front of him and tilted my head to the side. “That I have lived longer than you could ever dream. That if you tried to shoot me, and your scientists have, if you tried to even cut or scratch me, nothing would happen? There would be no wound, no welt. Not even a mark. If you come at me again, a bruised tailbone will be the least of your worries.”

He leaned away, his eyes wide. “What the fuck.”

I stood and offered him a hand up. He hesitated and I rolled my eyes. “Just let me help you up.”

“I’m not sure how comfortable I am with that.”

“I’m not going to hurt you. Just take my hand already.”

He hesitated, but eventually let me help him up. He brushed off his pants as soon as he was on his feet again.

"You're kind of terrifying," he said.

"That's the point." I looked him over. "Were you here to train, or…?"

He looked startled by the question but didn’t back down. “I might’ve been.”

“Well don’t let little ole me stop you,” I said.

He shuffled around and lifted weights for about half an hour before giving up. He made a point to avoid the gym whenever I was there from then on out. I thought it was hilarious at the time.

About two months later, an SSR agent walked up to Peggy and I while we were talking.

“Time for the lunch orders, ladies,” he said. He held out a notepad and pen with a sly smile on his face. “The natives are getting restless.”

“Order your own lunches,” I said.

He grabbed Peggy’s hand and slapped the pad and pen into it. “Not my job, sweetheart. Just get lunch.”

Peggy’s jaw tightened and she moved to get up from her chair. I held up one hand to stop her and took the pen and paper with the other. I grabbed the agent’s hand and slapped the pad and pen into it, just as he’d done to Peggy.

“Look, sweetheart. I see you’ve got two working legs. You are more than capable of ordering your own damn lunch. That is, unless you have issues with the English language, but judging by your accent, you don’t, so perhaps you’re still struggling to learn the alphabet.” I tipped my head to the side. “So, unless you’ve got some other convenient issue that’s miraculously spread through the office, I suggest you get lost and get your own fucking lunch. Does that sound reasonable to you, Agent?”

His eyes went wide and he looked to Peggy for some kind of backup. He didn’t find any.

“Look, lady, it’s just how things are done around here! You can’t blame me for that shit!”

“Can’t I? Because I don’t see you doing anything to change it. The only person I’d expect to ask someone to get lunch for them is Sousa, and he’s the only one around here who seems to know how to do anything for himself.” I shoved him lightly, which sent him stumbling backward. “Start a new tradition. Get your own lunches. Stop bothering us.”

He nodded dumbly and ran off to tell his friends they had to fend for themselves that day.

“We’re going to get in trouble for that,” Peggy said, a smile tugging at her lips.

“No,” I said. “Jack’s too scared of me to do anything about it.”

She cocked one perfect eyebrow. “Oh really? What did you do to put the fear of God into poor Jack Thompson?”

“Threw him around a little in the gym and threatened him,” I shrugged. “The usual.”

She snorted to cover up her laughter. “Why am I not surprised?”

I grinned and braced myself on her desk. “Because you know me.”

"That's very true." She shook her finger at me. "You really shouldn't go around threatening people."

I laughed and waved her off. "Don't worry about who I'm threatening. He hasn't bothered you in weeks, so I'd say it was worth it."

"Asta, you didn't."

"I didn't do anything drastic. I just mentioned that I thought it was funny that he's so rude to you, but if you were a man he'd treat you like a war hero." I added, very pointedly, "Which you are, and he needs to recognize that."

"I didn't do anything."

"I'm pretty sure you're responsible for facilitating, possibly, the greatest uprising in SSR history. You're the reason Captain America was able to get into the fight. You were key in strategy meetings. You were there for every single little thing, and they still treat you like dirt. Useful, but only if you can give them what they need."

“I’m not saying that I disagree with you, but-”

“You do disagree with my methods, I know. I’m sure this is a conversation we’ll have many, many times in the future.”

“I’m not so sure I like the sound of that.”

I laughed. “Would you like to go out for lunch today? My treat.”

“Your treat?”

“Didn’t you hear? They started paying me while you were in California, flirting with Sousa.”

“I wasn’t flirting,” she said. She caved when I shot her a questioning look. “Fine, I wasn’t just flirting.”

“There it is.” I reached out and tugged on her hand. “Come on. You can ask Daniel to come along. I might even invite Jack.”

Peggy laughed. “Why?”

I shrugged. “Dunno. I think I mostly want to see what he’ll do. Regardless, I’m paying so you might as well just say yes.”

She sighed but smiled regardless. “Fine, I give.”

I grinned and watched Peggy haul herself up from her chair and cross the floor to Sousa’s office. She tentatively opened the door and poked her head inside. Daniel gestured for her to come in and she slipped into the office. I saw him nod and smile and he got up to follow her from the office. I folded my arms and pushed off the desk.

I shouldered open the door to Jack’s office and leaned in the doorway. He slowly looked up from his paperwork to meet my eyes.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey. Peg ‘n’ I are going out for lunch. You want to come with?”

“You sure you want me there?” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

“Yeah, you’re not bad company, Jack. You’d do well to remember that.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Come on,” I said, pushing off the doorway. Jack stood up to grab his coat. “I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

He laughed and followed me out onto the floor. “And what am I getting out of this deal?”

“Free lunch.” He looked amused. “What?”

“On whose dime?”

“Mine? Who else’s?”

“Asta is an employee, Thompson,” Peggy said. “I thought you already knew that.”

“That’s not what I meant!” he said. “I just didn’t expect her to be paying, is all. I’m not saying that she couldn’t afford it.”

I placed my hand on his arm. “She’s messing with you, Jack.”

Daniel snorted and offered Peggy his arm. “Where to, ladies?”

Peggy suggested the diner and both men readily agreed. When we got there, Daniel sat next to Peggy and tucked her under his arm. Jack froze when he saw them but relaxed when I shook my head and picked up the menu.

Daniel, Jack, and Peggy made pleasant conversation while we ate and I sat quietly to listen. I occasionally offered my opinion if it was called for, but was otherwise silent.

I was nibbling absentmindedly at a french fry when Jack asked, “What’s your take on this, Carter?”

“Well…” Peggy began.

“Oh, sorry, I should've been specific. I meant Asta,” he said. He nudged me with his elbow. “We haven’t heard your take on the case.”

“You want my opinion?” I asked.

“Well, yeah.” He slung his arm up over the back of the booth, right above my shoulders. “We know what we think, but a different point of view is important.”

I looked at Peggy and found my amusement reflected on her face. I finished the fry before answering. “Huh, okay.”

I reached for another fry and Jack said, “Are you gonna tell us or what?”

“No, I’m gonna make you wait,” I shot back. I bit down on the fry and Daniel burst out laughing. I looked up at Jack and found him red in the face. The wink I gave him didn’t help much with his predicament.

“I’m serious! We’ve pretty much exhausted our ideas here.”

“I know, give me a moment to think.” I sat back and pressed my fist to my mouth. “There was one woman you spoke to who didn’t quite sit right with me.”

“A suspect?” Daniel asked.

I shook my head. “No, I think it was someone’s wife or sister. She just knew too much about what happened in that lab. Showed no signs of grief at all.”

“Not all people grieve the same.”

“I am well aware of how people grieve. This was different. She was, I don’t know… almost smug? Like she’d gotten away with something and was trying not to gloat about it. I didn’t say anything because I figured you’d want to go over your own theories first.”

“No, that helps,” Jack said. “A lot, actually.”

“Don’t sound too surprised there, Thompson,” I said.

“I’m not surprised. I’m sorry we didn’t ask for your help sooner.”

I tried to hide my smile, but I caught Jack smiling out of the corner of my eye. I kept quiet the rest of lunch, content to listen to the casual conversation.

On the walk back to the office, I hung back to people watch. Eventually, my eyes were drawn to Peggy and Daniel. I remember when she’d come back from California and the first thing she told me about was the development between the two of them. I sat with her while she talked about everything that happened, only half listening at the time, but happy for her regardless. From what she’d told me of her life before coming back to New York, she deserved happiness.

“What’re you thinking about?” Jack asked.

I jumped, not realizing he’d been pacing me for five minutes. I pressed my hand to my chest and wheezed out, “Holy shit.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s alright. Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged. “Your shoulders were kinda hunched and you had this far off look in your eyes. I figured it had to be something pretty serious.”

“Oh.”

“So?”

“It’s nothing,” I said. “I was thinking about when Peggy came back from California. She was happier than I’d ever seen her.”

“And now?”

“She’s still just as happy. Whatever this thing is with Daniel is lasting. I'm happy for her.”

“Huh,” he said. “I thought you would’ve been thinking about your own life. Or past life, or something.”

I laughed. “No. My life wasn’t all that interesting before I got here. Nothing worth dwelling on.”

“I doubt that’s true.”

“It is, though. There’s so much that I escaped in my past. The stress of an arranged marriage or how I’d take care of myself if no one wanted me. Now I have a job and friends and…” I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “Sorry.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, that was a lot.”

“No,” He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for listening.”

He offered me his arm and I snorted before placing my hand in the crook of his elbow. I caught him smiling and felt myself blush. We walked on in silence for about five more minutes before Jack asks another question.

“Why did you invite me out today?”

I shrugged. “I don’t like being a third wheel.”

“Seriously?”

“Also kind of wanted to see what you’d do.”

“So I’m an experiment.”

“A little.”

“Wow.”

“I don’t mean to insult you. It’s just hard to tell where I stand with you.”

“Explain.”

“Well, Peggy and I are pretty much sisters and has made that abundantly clear, and Daniel thinks I’m odd but puts up with me because of Peggy. The rest of the men in the office act like I don’t exist until lunch rolls around and they’re too lazy to go out and get their own or they don’t want to do their jobs.”

“And me?”

“I can tell you’re curious about me, but I never know what you’re going to do. I avoided you at first, and you sought me out in the gym. I threatened you and you still went out to lunch when I invited you. Now, you’ve got me on your arm and we’ve talked more than I have with the majority of people I know.” I frowned. “I guess I find you interesting. I want to understand you.”

He hummed. “Alright, that's fair.”

“I wasn’t trying to ask you on a date earlier,” I added. “I know that worried you.”

“What?”

“You froze up when Sousa put his arm around Peggy earlier.”

“Right, that.” He shook his head. “I just don’t like being ambushed with it, is all.”

“Hm?”

“I’m not used to being asked out.”

“You’re usually the one who asks.”

“Exactly. But, if someone did ask me out on a date, I’d want to know what their intentions are.”

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Are you saying that you want me to ask you on a date?”

Jack looked around before pulling me under the overhang of a corner store. I glanced at where his hands held my arms before looking up at him, confused. Carefully, I held his elbows and tilted my head to the side, silently asking him to talk to me. His brows pulled together and he frowned.

"I don't get you," he said.

"That doesn't answer my question."

Someone had stopped to stare at us, and I suspect they were worried for my safety. Jack seemed to pick up on this and turned us so that he had his back to the wall instead of me. He sighed and let go of my arms.

He began to step away. "They're gonna wonder where we are."

I grabbed his hands and pulled him back to me. "No, Jack. Tell me."

"Asta-"

"Please? I won't bother you anymore after this, I promise." I gave him a small smile. "We both know how quiet I can be. It'll be like I'm not even in the office."

I immediately let go of his hands and folded my arms tight against my body. I could feel myself trying to make myself smaller and hated it. Jack put his hands on my shoulders and straightened them out. He then trailed his hand down my arm and took my hand.

"I'm not an easy person," he said softly. "I'm not good with feelings or anything like that, and that's probably my fault. But everything new I learn about you makes me want to know more. I want to understand you and where you came from and what made you who you are. I want to know if you knew Shakespeare or if you made art in your past. I don't know if I want you to ask me on a date. I just know that I want to know you."

"I can tell you right now that I didn't know Shakespeare," I said. "I knew of him and saw a couple of his plays, but I didn't know him."

"See?" He shook his head. "I want to be around you. I just don't want to force more than that."

I nodded. "Thank you for telling me."

"Of course."

"Can I have a couple days to think about what you've said?" I asked. "I need some time."

“Yeah, sure.”

"I'm not good with words." I gently squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s hard to be upset when you keep asking so nicely.”

“Okay.”

He moved my hand to his elbow again and led me back out onto the sidewalk. Peggy and Daniel had beaten us back to the office by ten minutes when we stepped through the doors. Jack excused himself and went back to his office. Peggy pulled me aside as soon as I was alone.

“What took you so long?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re late getting back. What happened?”

“Oh. Thompson wanted to ask me a couple more questions. That’s all.”

“That’s odd.”

I shrugged. “I’m an odd person. People tend to want to ask questions. You certainly did, at first.”

Someone in a lab coat wandered out into the office, looking lost. I looked past Peggy and caught his eye. He immediately relaxed and crossed the floor to talk to us.

“We need your help in the lab,” he said.

“Why?” I asked. “I thought you were done with me.”

"Well…" He scratched the back of his neck.

Realizing that going with him would get me away from Peggy's questions, I held up my hand to stop him. "You know what? It doesn't matter, let's just get it over with."

I apologized to Peggy and left with the lab coat.

The tests took nearly a week and didn't leave me any time to work in the office, let alone think. Each night, I was allowed two hours to train in the gym before I had to return to my quarters. I was frustrated, to say the least.

The day we finished the tests I spent more time than usual in the gym, working out my frustrations on a punching bag. I had knocked it off the hook three times before I had to sit down and patch it up.

“Thought I might find you down here.”

I let out a startled squeak and looked over my shoulder. Jack stood ten feet away from me with his hands in his pockets. His hair was a mess and something in me wanted to fix it.

“Hi,” I said dumbly. I couldn’t figure out anything else to say.

“I haven’t seen you in a week.”

“I’ve been stuck in the lab,” I tried to explain. “By the time I can get away you’re already gone for the night.”

“Okay.”

I ignored the punching bag and spun around to face him. “I did want to talk to you earlier. I’m sure I could’ve made some time. I apologize.”

“I don’t know why you’re apologizing, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why are you standing so far away from me?”

“Because the last time I was with you in this room you put me on my ass.”

“So you’re scared of me?” I pushed myself to my feet. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“I think I’d be scared of you regardless.”

“You want a rematch?” I asked.

“Are you messing with me?”

”I don’t joke about fighting.”

“Why do you want to fight me? I can’t seriously be a challenge for you.”

“It’s not about you being a challenge. It’s about the fact that you’re scared of me.” I locked eyes with him. “And I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

“So you’re trying to make me face my fears?”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“What the hell kind of relationship could the two of us have if you’re too scared to get close to me when we’re alone?” I snapped. “So either you spar with me and we can move forward, or I’m going to bed and putting this behind me.”

“I don’t want to fight you.”

“Why not? You can’t physically hurt me.” I folded my arms and took several steps closer to him. “We’ll lay ground rules. No body throws and anything that could be considered a blow to the genitals to either of us is off the table. We go till one of us is on the mat. Sound reasonable to you?”

He squinted. “Fine.”

“Wonderful!” I stepped back and grabbed the heavy bag and moved it to the corner with the others.

Jack shed his suit coat and tie before turning to face me. He approached me as he rolled up his shirt sleeves. I wandered over and stopped in front of him to size him up. I tilted my head to the side and looked him over with my hands in my pockets. I nodded and took a step back to look him in the eye.

Jack readily got into his fighting stance with his fists held up to guard his face. I blinked at him and waited for him to make the first move. It took him nearly two minutes to make up his mind and actually throw a punch. I moved my head to the side to avoid it. Confused, Jack took several more swings, only for me to dodge all of them.

“I thought we were supposed to fight,” he growled.

“We are,” I said. “I fight differently.”

He tried to grab me, but I easily sidestepped and slapped his hands down. He hissed in pain and I muttered a quick apology before settling into the fight again.

I blocked each punch and kick he threw at me, quickly slapping them away or simply catching the blows with my forearms before pushing him back. He didn’t seem to understand what I was doing and just kept trying to come at me harder than he had before. Eventually, I had both his fists held in my hands, crossed at his wrists. I pulled them in opposite directions and Jack cried out in pain and surprise.

I leaned in and said, “See, if you weren’t you, I’d headbutt you right now. But I don’t actually want to hurt you, so I’m not gonna do that.”

“Should I be thanking you?”

“That depends,” I placed my foot in his stomach and pushed him away. He stumbled but managed to regain his balance. “Are you going to give me an actual fight, or are you just gonna keep fucking around till I get bored?”

That annoyed him enough that he finally started coming at me with some decent force. He was faster than he initially let on and, consequently, suddenly more of a challenge. I only narrowly dodged a blow to my stomach before he managed to catch me with a punch to the jaw. I staggered back, more surprised by the blow than anything else. Jack didn’t seem to recognize that, though, and followed after me to make sure I was alright.

When I saw the concern on his face, I laughed and pushed him away with a hand to his chest. He tried to use his proximity to his advantage, but only wound up winded when I punched him in the stomach. He wheezed as he tried to regain his footing and kept his distance until he could find another opening. We were lazily circling each other when he saw his opportunity.

He rushed me and ducked in time to just barely avoid my fist. He grabbed my wrists and hooked his heel around mine and kicked back. I fell to the mat with him hovering over me, pinning my arms down. I looked up at him, eyes wide. Jack panted as he tried to catch his breath.

“I win,” he declared.

“Do you?”

"You said we'd go till one of us was on the mat. I took you down. I win."

I laughed. "I guess."

"What do you mean you guess?" he said. He didn't sound angry and the smile playing at his lips betrayed him. "I have you pinned!"

"You won the match, but my plan worked perfectly." I hooked my legs around his and flipped us. I grinned at the look of shock on his face. "You weren't even thinking. You just went for it. And look at how close we are."

"Oh," he said, his voice suddenly small.

"Are you scared?" I asked. "Scared of me?"

"Not of you."

"Then what?"

"I'm scared of this. How close we are."

"Why?" I sat up slightly and Jack moved with me. My heart hammered in my chest.

"Because I think I'd really like to kiss you right now, and I don't want to push you for something you don't want." I sat back in his lap and he propped himself up on his hands. He smiled sadly. “Please say something.”

“I don’t- I’m not good with words.”

He nodded. “I know. You told me.”

“Can I just…” I slowly reached out and placed my hands on his shoulders. His eyes locked on mine and he nodded.

I carefully traced my fingers over his shoulders and up his neck. I framed the line of his jaw with the tips of my fingers and paused for a moment. I allowed my eyes to scan over his face, mapping out the angles of his cheekbones and the curve of his nose. My eyes were drawn up to his hair as I remembered what a mess it was when he first walked in. I bit my lip to hide my smile as I reached up to comb my fingers through and relished the feeling of his hair between my fingers.

I trailed my fingers down the back of his neck and his eyes fluttered shut when I traced over his cheekbone. He leaned into my touch when I cradled his face in my hands. I then lightly brushed my thumbs over his lips, which sent a shiver through Jack’s body.

Jack slowly opened his eyes. His gaze lingered on my lips for a moment before he managed to meet my eyes.

“Can I kiss you, Jack?” I whispered.

“Yes,” he breathed.

I smiled and tentatively brushed my lips against his. He let out a shaky breath against my lips and tilted his head to gently press his lips to mine. He waited for me to kiss him back before he moved one of his hands to the back of my head and weaved his fingers into my hair. I felt more than heard myself make a small, needy noise at the back of my throat and pulled away. I covered my mouth with my hand out of embarrassment.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't know what that was."

“Hmm?”

“That noise.” I groaned and covered my face with my hands. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Look at me.” I shook my head and he laughed. He gently coaxed my hands away from my face. “Come on, look at me.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and met his eyes. He looped my arms around his neck and settled his hands on my waist. I frowned and tilted my head to the side.

“What is it?” I asked, voice small.

“I don’t get how you can go from being so confident to a blushing mess.” I rolled my eyes but immediately looked him in the eye when his grip on my waist tightened. "The sound you made isn't embarrassing. It's cute."

"No, it's not…"

"Yes it is," he insisted. "I like it. I like knowing that I have an effect on you. Y'know, other than pissing you off and annoying you."

“You don’t… you don’t piss me off.”

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t. I just- I get frustrated, and I want to understand. I want to understand you, but learning people isn’t like reading books. It’s not easy.” I fiddled with the hair at the back of his neck. “But I don’t want this to be easy. If you want there to be a this.”

“I do want that.” He drew gentle circles on my sides with his thumbs. “But I don’t want to frustrate you.”

“I think that’s part of relationships, Jack. If we do this, I’m going to be annoying, you’re going to frustrate me. We’re going to have disagreements. But we’ll learn together. Grow through experiences and be better people. I think that’s worth a little frustration, don’t you?”

“I do.” He smiled. “I don’t know why you keep saying you’re bad with words. You expressed yourself pretty perfectly just then.”

“I don’t know about that. I just spoke the truth.”

“Do you want to do this?” he asked. “Us.”

I nodded. “Yes. You’re a challenge I’m ready for, Jack Thompson.”

He grinned and pressed his forehead to mine. I tilted my head to the side slightly and kissed him tenderly, which he returned before pulling away and wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been held like that, so I pressed my nose to his neck and clung to him.

“I should probably go to my room,” I mumbled. “I was supposed to leave the gym an hour ago.”

“They gave you a curfew?”

“Kind of, yeah.” I braced myself on his shoulders and got to my feet. “I really should go. They’ll send someone from the night shift around to check on everything.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You afraid to get caught?”

“No,” I offered him a hand up and he took it. “The tongue lashing I’ll get if I’m caught is annoying. If I can avoid it, I will.”

“Let me walk you back then,” he said. “You can’t get in trouble if I’m the one who made you late.”

I laughed. "Okay, I'll take you up on that."

He opened the door for me and offered his arm when he stepped out into the hall after me. I stuck close to his side the entire walk back to my rooms. We were fortunate enough to avoid running into anyone along the way. I stepped out in front of him when we reached my door and keyed in the passcode to unlock the door.

“No keys?” he asked.

I shook my head and pushed the door open. “You can lose keys. Even if you lose your fingers, you can still figure out something to punch a code in.”

“Kinda dark.”

I snorted. “Do you expect anything less from me?”

“Y’know, I probably shouldn’t. But I always manage to underestimate you.”

I turned to face him and leaned in the doorway. “Something I’m sure you’ll continue to do.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure it is.”

I stood in my doorway, staring and smiling at him for a moment before realizing what I was doing. I shook my head and tried to make my escape. "I guess this is goodnight, then."

"Wait," he reached out to me and I stopped. He took my hand and stepped closer.

"Hmm?"

He stooped down to kiss me. "Okay, now I can say goodnight."

I laughed and bit back my smile. "Just go. I'll see you tomorrow, Jack."

"See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Asta."

He kissed my forehead and backed down the hall. Before he turned the corner he did a little twirl and waved to me. I heard him whistling as he walked away and I smiled and shook my head as I closed myself in my rooms.

I sat on my bed and buried my face in my pillow to muffle the sound of my giddy squeals. My legs flailed in little butterfly kicks of nervous excitement. I couldn't figure out how to express exactly how I was feeling in the moment, but wrote what I could down in my journal. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face, even in my sleep.

The next morning wasn’t nearly as happy as the night before.

I was whisked away by a pair of lab coats just before I could sit down for the morning briefing. They rattled off something about inconsistencies in their tests from earlier in the week. They fussed over me for nearly four hours before I was able to get away. At that point, I was exhausted and nauseous, and wanted nothing more than to just sit down so that the room would stop spinning.

When I reached my desk, Peggy wasn’t there. The file and notes on her desk told me that she was probably in an interrogation, or something close to it. I quickly realized that I needed to be somewhere out of the way if I didn’t want to be pestered about a case I knew nothing about, or worse, hauled off to the lab again.

My eyes landed on Jack’s office, and it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen him yet that day. I glanced around to make sure no one was watching before crossing the floor and knocking on the door. I didn’t receive an answer and decided to knock more before letting myself in.

The desk lamp was on, but Jack was nowhere to be seen.

I didn’t give his absence much thought as a wave of dizziness crashed over me. I nearly fell, but braced myself on the arm of the couch and waited for it to pass. When it did, my vision was blurry and I immediately laid on the couch. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled into a tight ball.

I faded in and out of sleep for nearly two hours.

A gentle hand on my forehead woke me. I leaned into their touch and they pushed my hair off my forehead. I could vaguely hear them saying my name.

“Asta?” I cracked my eyes open. “Hey, there you are.”

“Jack?” My voice sounded rough and I hugged my arms around myself.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You look a little grey.”

“I don’t know.” I shivered and moved closer to Jack. “I don’t feel well.”

“You weren’t feeling like this last night, were you?”

“No, I was fine. I was fine this morning too.”

“When did this start?”

“Around noon, I think. It was a little more than an hour before I left the lab.”

“I thought they were done with their tests.”

“So did I, but they said something about inconsistencies and dragged me off before I had time to process what was happening.”

He frowns. “Can you sit up?”

“I don’t know. I was really dizzy earlier.” I covered my face with one hand. “It’s why I came in here. I didn’t think I could make it back to my room.”

“Let’s get you sat up,” he said.

He helped me sit up, though I leaned heavily against the arm of the couch. I pressed my hand to my forehead as the dizziness settled in again. I tamped down the urge to dry-heave and settled with focusing on keeping my breaths deep and even. When everything got to be a little too much, I let my head fall back against the back of the couch and covered my eyes with one arm.

“This is hell,” I muttered.

Jack squeezed my hand. “I’m getting Peggy. I’ll be right back.”

I let out a shaky breath when he let go of my hand and wrapped my free arm around my stomach. I kept quiet when Jack returned with Peggy.

“Asta,” Peggy placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Jack tells me you’re not feeling well.”

“She’s been stuck in the lab for over a week,” Jack added. “She was fine until they started calling her in for whatever tests they forgot.”

“You suspect someone in the lab has something to do with this?” Peggy asked.

“I’m not pointing fingers. I’m just saying that she was fine last night, and now she’s not.”

“Do you think he could be right, darling?” she asked.

“I don’t know if I’d, ugh-” I cut myself off to bear out a dizzy spell. “I don’t know if I’d rule it out. They took me by surprise this morning when they grabbed me. I wasn’t able to ask many questions.”

“Help her up, Jack,” Peggy said. “We’re going to the lab.”

He did as he was told and I leaned heavily against him as he helped me down the hall.

“Think you can make it?” he asked.

I nodded and he kissed the top of my head when Peggy wasn’t looking. I stumbled when we were about halfway to the lab and Jack stopped to sweep me into his arms and carry me bridal style the rest of the way. I tucked my face into his neck and focused on the sound of his breathing to distract myself from the nausea. I stopped paying close attention after that.

A man greeted us upon arrival, saying, “Agent Carter, Agent Thompson. What a pleasant surprise.”

“Pleasant surprise, my ass,” Jack muttered. “You have some explaining to do.”

“Excuse me?” The man sounded offended.

“Exactly what tests have you been performing with Asta over the past week?” Peggy asked. “Because I am certain it wasn’t anything sanctioned by the agency.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. Ms. Carter is simply a point of interest for us.”

“In what world would tests for a point of interest leave your subject so nauseated and dizzy that they can hardly keep on their feet?” Peggy demanded.

“I’m sure she’s fine, if not a bit dramatic,” he said. “She left of her own volition not two hours ago.”

“Oh, really? Then I’m sure I can just set her down right here, and she’ll be fine,” Jack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m sure she would be.”

I clutched at Jack’s suit coat when I felt even a slight shift in his body. “Don’t, please.”

“Can I set you on the table?” he asked, his voice soft enough that only I could hear.

I nodded and he carefully set me on the cool, metal table along the wall of the lab. He stayed close enough that I could’ve reached out and taken his hand.

“See? She’s fine.” The man stepped closer. “Aren’t you, Ms. Carter?”

“What did you do to me?” I asked.

“What?” He stepped even closer. He didn’t realize his mistake. “Speak up, Ms. Carter.”

I reached out and wrapped my hand around his throat, too quickly for him to react. Peggy tried to step in, but Jack held a hand out to stop her. I wasn’t choking him. Just holding him tight enough to scare him a little. Tight enough to keep him from getting away.

“What. Did. You. Do. To. Me,” I ground out. “You and your little minions have kept me locked up here for a week, not telling me exactly what you were doing or why you’ve been poking around.”

“I’m sure-”

I tightened my grip and he whimpered. “Oh, you’re always so sure of yourself, but I don’t have that kind of faith in you. You’re going to tell me what the fuck it is you’ve been doing, or I swear I will crush your neck and watch the life leave your eyes.”

I released him and pushed him away from me. I heard Jack mutter a quick “Holy shit,” before rushing to my side when I started to curl into myself. He helped me sit back against the wall and kept one hand on my knee in case I needed his support.

“Just what have you been doing in this lab?” Peggy repeated. “Even if Asta can’t follow through on her promise, I’d be glad to take a stab at it.”

He looked past Peggy to Jack for some kind of support, but Jack just shook his head.

“We discovered that the structure of her DNA is similar to Steve Rogers’ after the Vita-Ray procedure,” the man began. “We took half the week to test her reflexes and ensure that she was fit enough before-”

“Before what,” Jack hissed.

“Before we began testing our new super-soldier serum.” He seemed to realize that what he’d said wasn’t positive and scrambled to fix that. “We haven’t finished the procedure, yet! There’s no way to be sure that whatever is happening to her is caused by the serum.”

“What is wrong with you?!” Peggy shoved the man hard enough that he fell to the floor. “How dare you even think about trying to recreate the serum! We do not play God in the SSR. And we certainly don’t test… shit on people without their consent!”

“We didn’t know what would happen!”

“I should kill you myself,” Peggy hissed. “Pumping my sister full of poison. You are scum.”

I took Jack's hand and quickly told him to stop Peggy before she actually did murder the man. Jack stepped between them just as one of the lab technicians walked in.

"What's going on?" she asked. She caught sight of me hunched over and her eyes went wide. "Is she okay?"

Jack filled her in on the situation while I did my best to calm Peggy, who was completely seething mad. The technician seemed genuinely horrified.

"I don't think any of us thought he'd go through with it. I mean, he'd talked about it after the initial DNA examination, but no one seemed interested enough in pushing it, so no one presented it to the higher-ups." She shook her head. "I guess a few people were interested enough to start testing."

"Will she be alright?" Jack asked.

"I don't know. I'd have to see what the serum was made with in order to determine that."

Peggy seemed to perk up at that and I held her hand tightly and looked from Jack to the scientist on the floor. He seemed to get the idea and started asking him questions before Peggy could make a move. They found a vial of the serum within five minutes.

The technician examined a slide of the serum under the microscope and scribbled notes every time she looked away. I didn't keep a close eye on what she was doing and, instead, opted to rest my head on Jack's shoulder. Peggy held onto my hand even after I loosened my grip.

The technician fussed over the sample for about twenty minutes before making her decision.

"She'll be fine," she announced. "There isn't anything that's immediately toxic in the serum. If I'm being honest, I don't think it's much of a serum at all, but it's definitely enough to cause nausea and dizziness, like Asta is experiencing."

"How long till she's back to normal?" Peggy asks.

The lab tech shrugged. "I'm not sure. Considering the number of doses, I'd say give it a few days and see how she's feeling then."

"So… you're essentially saying she needs to sleep it off?" Jack asked.

"Precisely. Though I would suggest that someone stay with her, or at least frequently check on her. It's easy for someone to get dehydrated in her state."

“At least I’m not going to die,” I mumbled.

Jack laughed and softly said, “I’ll stay with you, if you’d like.”

I turned my head to hide my smile against his arm. “I’d like that, yeah.”

Sousa was called in to help Peggy detain and process the man who had, essentially, poisoned me. Peggy hung back, worrying about leaving me behind and I waved her off, saying that she should go help Daniel.

“I’ll make sure she gets back to her room alright,” Jack said. She didn’t seem convinced and he added, “I’m going to stay with her. She’s not going anywhere for the rest of the day.”

“Alright.” She caressed my cheek and I smiled. “I’ll come to check on you later.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Just make sure he gets what he deserves.”

She nodded and watched Jack help me off the table. I had hoped I would be able to make it without him having to carry me, but my legs gave out almost as soon as we made it through the doors. I hid my face against his chest after he picked me up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I hate that you have to do this.”

“You just don’t like feeling helpless,” he said.

I corrected him, saying, “I don’t like being a burden.”

“I get that, but I’d much rather carry you to your room than have you dying in my arms.”

“Aw, two days, and you’re already so attached.” I laughed. “Should I be worried?”

“Oh, definitely,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s just gonna get worse from here.”

I hummed softly and settled against his chest. "I look forward to it."

Once inside my room, Jack helped me gather comfortable clothes and waited outside the bathroom while I changed. I took my hair down and allowed the curls to just hang around my shoulders. When I was done, he helped me hobble to my bed and situate myself before he took his jacket and shoes off. He sat beside me on the bed and kicked his feet up. As soon as he finished loosening his tie I curled into his side, seeking out the warmth of his body.

“If you’re gonna be on the bed, you might as well lie down,” I said.

“You want me to?”

I nodded. “You keep me calm.”

He scooted down the bed and turned on his side. I shuffled closer and pressed my nose to his chest. With one hand held against my stomach, I rested the other on his hip. I sighed softly, content.

“Now who’s the clingy one?”

I smiled and slung my arm over his waist and mumbled, “Still you.”

He snorted. “I walked right into that, didn't I.”

"You did."

"If you're gonna be mean, then maybe I’ll just leave."

"Aw, you don't mean that." I tipped my head up to look at him. He tried to scowl at me and failed. "If you did, you wouldn't be here. Peggy would, and she'd be sitting in that chair over there."

"I know. You're right." He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Just try to rest. I don't need you dying on me."

I nodded and he leaned in to kiss me softly. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead before I snuggled into his chest and allowed myself to drift off.

I woke to a hissing sound several hours later. It took a minute for the sound to register as someone shushing someone else.

“What are you doing in her bed?!” Peggy demanded.

“She is asleep,” Jack hissed back. “Lower your voice.”

“I can see that she’s asleep. Why are you in bed with her?” She sounded upset. “When you said you’d stay with her this certainly isn’t what I pictured.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t.”

“Then why.”

“She asked me to.”

She scoffed. “I highly doubt that.”

“I’d say you could ask her, but she’s asleep.”

“Not anymore,” I mumbled.

Jack let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed my back. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I should probably get up and try to eat something anyway.” I sat slowly up and combed my fingers through my hair. “If you’re going to ask, Peggy, just ask. I don’t want to hide anything from you.”

She frowned. “You asked him to stay with you?”

“I did.” I glance at Jack and he smiles. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s taking good care of me. I promise.”

“I just… did I miss something?” she asked. “Have I been ignoring things that are happening in your life?”

“No, you haven’t. This is just something that’s very…” I pressed my hand to my mouth as I searched for the right word. “It’s very personal, and I need to keep it close to my chest for now. I’m not hiding anything from you, I just don’t get many things that are just for me.”

“I understand.” She smiled and reached out for my hand. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course.”

“If you hurt her, Jack, I will murder you.”

Jack shook his head and got up from the bed. “I was really hoping I could avoid the threats until we were further down the line, but thanks for the warning!”

He asked me what I’d like to eat and I asked for some Saltines and water. I didn’t think I could keep anything else down. Peggy almost made for the door, but Jack stopped her and said he’d go out and get some food. He asked if there was anything she wanted while he put his shoes on. When she said no he kissed the top of my head and left for the store. Peggy watched him leave before looking back at me, a mix of shock and confusion on her face.

“What?”

“The two of you seem quite comfortable with each other,” she said. She sat beside me on the bed. “I know you said you’d tell me, but I can’t help feeling as if I missed something.”

“You didn’t, I swear.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. You can’t miss something that you weren’t there for.”

“How did it happen?”

I shook my head and scrubbed my hands over my face. “I’m not entirely sure. We’ve bothered each other since I started training, so that had to have been almost a year ago now. Then there was the time I scared the life out of him in the gym, and then last week we started talking after lunch. I think that was the start of anything mutual?”

“Is that why you were late getting back?”

I smiled sheepishly. “Maybe.”

“You could’ve just told me. I wouldn’t have judged you.”

“It’s not that I was worried about that. Like I said, I don’t have many things that are just for me. I wanted to give myself time to feel like I live a normal life.” I pulled my knees to my chest and sighed. “I know that my life will never be normal, and I’m fine with that, but the more time that I’m allowed to work on cases and go out into the city without a chaperone, I feel like I’m taking some normalcy back.”

She took my hand and squeezed gently. “I understand.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Asta. I don’t want to control you or your life, and I’d hate for you to feel that I was doing so.”

"I know you don't, but it feels like the SSR controls almost every facet of my life. It gets frustrating. I wish I had more time for myself." The door opened, but I didn't notice. "I want to learn to paint and go dancing and spend time with Jack. I don't want to feel like a prisoner."

"You want to paint?" Peggy asked.

"I have since I was little. My family was poor, so I never had the money or opportunity, not to mention the fact that I'm a woman. Everything worked against me then. Now I have the money and I have a little extra time." I pressed my nose to my knees. "I know that sounds stupid."

Someone new said, "No, Asta, it doesn't."

I blinked, confused by the new voice, and looked up to see Jack standing beside the bed. "Hey," I said.

"Hey." He held out a sleeve of crackers and a glass of water.

"Thank you." I smiled and took them from him. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I didn't want to interrupt your conversation," he said.

“How considerate of you.” Peggy squeezed my knee and pushed herself up from the bed. “I have to get back to work. I’ll check in tomorrow and see how you’re doing.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” I said.

I watched her leave before setting the glass of water on the bedside table and opening the sleeve of crackers. Jack returned to his place on the bed and I let my head fall to his shoulder as I nibbled on one cracker. I think I ate nearly half the sleeve before I felt I could drink anything, and quickly downed the entire glass of water when I tried. I was exhausted by the end and settled back against Jack once I’d placed the empty glass on the table.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes. Thank you. For all of this, really.”

“It’s not a problem, Asta, really.”

“I just don’t want to become your problem,” I mumbled. “I’ve caused a lot of worry for you over the past week. I don’t want that to be where we start.”

“An agent would’ve been assigned to monitor you, regardless. I’d rather it be me than someone else.” I frowned and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You’re not a burden, Asta. I’m worried about you because I care for you. There’s no start or end involved there. I just wanna make sure you’re okay. Is that okay with you?”

I nodded. "It's alright with me."

"Good."

I nodded against his shoulder again and cuddled into his side as my eyes grew heavy. Jack helped me lay down again without saying anything and held my hand as I drifted off.

"I probably won't be here when you wake up again," he said. " I've gotta get some work done in the office and then get home for the night."

"Okay."

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on you. If Carter doesn't get to you first, that is."

"You can still come if you want," I mumble. "I like spending time with you."

I felt him chuckle against my hair. "I'm glad you do."

I hummed and pressed my nose to his chest. "Goodnight, Jack."

"G'night, sweetheart."

--------

Part 2

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flowersfrombefore · 7 years ago

Text

Sick of Losing Soulmates (Roger Taylor x Reader)

A/N: So this is the first thing I’ve written and I’m terrified to post it but here we go. Loosely based on the song Sick Of Losing Soulmates by Dodie Clark (hence the name) Listening to it while you read may help. I hope you guys like and and I’d appreciate feedback just please be nice. Also in all honesty there was only minimal editing done on this because If I looked at it too long I would have deleted it so mistakes are possible. can be read as either Ben Hardy!Roger or just Roger. I don’t think anything is too specific to either. Gosh I hope this is at least a little bit good.

@sweet-ladyy here you go love.

Warning: Language, ANGST. some sad shit my dudes.

Word count: 2267

It wasn’t rare for either of you these days to be awoken at an ungodly hour by the other fumbling with the door and stumbling inside after a night out. It wasn’t rare for the one coming home to be too drunk to even get to their room. While the two of you were a couple and were out together most nights with the band sometimes going out alone was just what you needed. So Roger and you had both taken to sleeping on the couch when either of you would go out alone knowing that you would have to help each other down the hall.

So at three in the morning when you were awoken by your apartment door being slowly opened, light from the hallway cutting through what had just been your comfortably dark living room you were not surprised. You propped yourself up on your elbow and attempted to shield your eyes with the other hand. After a moment your eyes adjusted and you could see your boyfriend leaning against the door frame trying to regain his balance. you were up and over to him in an instant.

Before you could manage to get a supporting arm around his waist to help him he had turned you to face him and enveloped you in his arms, burying his head into your neck. something was wrong. He said nothing, he didn’t smell like alcohol like he usually did when he came home. The two of you stayed like that for what could have been minutes or hours you didn’t know. His hands trailed up and down your back and your arms, sometimes they made their way to your hair brushing through it like Roger always did when he wanted to comfort you, but it seemed to be him who needed it now.

“My love I thought you were out at the pub with Bri, what’s going on”

he burrowed his face closer into your neck. “Please don’t let me go”

You broke the embrace running one hand up his chest and resting it on the side of his face and the other to tangle in his hair. He turned slightly and kissed the palm of your hand. If it hadn’t been for the audible yet muffled sob he let out you wouldn’t have known he had been crying, it was too dark to see him but you ran your thumb under the skin below his eyes and it was clear. The tears were drying but you could still feel them and your heart fell, you’d never seen him cry before.

“Roger,” You pressed a small kiss to his lips. “what’s going on please tell me?” You hadn’t pulled far from the kiss and your lips still hovered over his as you whispered again, softer this time, “I know something’s wrong, I’m here.” Under your fingers you could feel his jaw tense and then relax as he closed the distance between you again.

“Brian said something tonight, it made me think more than I should have.” He said as he pulled away. It was silent again for a few moments while he likely tried to figure out how to present whatever he was thinking and you tried not to panic as your mind wandered to all the things he could be thinking about.

“Can we sit down for a while.” He said while pushing your hair behind your ear, kissing your forehead and taking your hand as he walked toward the kitchen.”

The two of you had never had a serious conversation somewhere other than your kitchen floor. Ever since you were kids if you two had something to talk about you’d run to the kitchen in whoever house you were at and would only talk there. The tradition had continued even when you were adults. It had been months since the two of you had done this, something really was wrong and not knowing what it was terrifying you.

Roger leaned against a cabinet, knees pulled halfway to his chest. You sat across from him, assuming the same position but inching close enough to press your knees to his. He reached out his hand to intertwine your fingers together while he pulled back lightly on you to keep you from falling back.

Everything felt peaceful. You had turned on the dim light of the kitchen so that you could see each other. His eyes were red as you knew they would be but his expression was soft. There wasn’t a smile to be seen but the corner of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. Three in the morning always manged to make him look even more like an angel than he usually did. He breathed in deeply letting out a sigh.

“What was it he said to you, what are you thinking about. Whatever it is it’s shaken you and I won’t stop asking until you tell me.” You ran your thumb across the back of his hand as you spoke trying to let him know that you weren’t upset at his silence.

“I love you so much Y/N, You know that, I know you do.” His voice was thick and now that he spoke louder you could hear the strain in it, likely caused by the crying. You did know, if you knew anything it was that Roger did love you and that you would never have to question that. Even when he was surrounded but girls every night at his shows you still knew. Even when he would flirt with anyone and everything around him you still knew that you would be the one he would be home with, that you were the one that he would be with. But something about the question made you nervous. Why would he ask you that? He never had before.

You didn’t answer, you only looked him in the eyes and waited for him to continue.

He took a shaky breath. “I don’t really remember what he said anymore, I just remember that it got to me and i- it made me start thinking about us and the way we are. How we were different when we were best friends. “

Okay so you were right to be nervous than. Nothing about that sentence could end well. You gently pulled the hand that he had been holding away, pushing yourself a few inches away from where you had been before and crossing your legs. Looking down at your hands that were placed in your lap you trying to find something to say. Sure he hadn’t stated it but you knew what he meant. This was a breakup.

“How were we different” You finally managed to let out. Your voice shook with every slow word, you wished now that you two could go back to the comfortable silence that had been settled over you only moments ago. You looked up at him abruptly and the look on his face was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

“I.. We…” You could tell he was searching frantically for a way to say what he needed to say without directly just saying it. He never was good at that. He could never speak about something serious without trying to explain himself or something first.

“Roger just say it please” You cried. You didn’t mean to say it so loud or so desperately but if he was going to pull the ‘We are better off as friends’ after being together for a year you didn’t want to have to wait for it.

“Before we were together we never let each other get away with so much of the bullshit we do. You’d call me out on it, I’d call you out on it. We didn’t let the other come home too drunk to walk. Why were you waiting on the couch Y/N? Because you knew that I was probably going to come home drunk and that I’d need help. How fucked is that. We’re supposed to make each other better aren’t we? And I’m not saying it’s you okay, I..I know it’s my fault too. I’m letting you do the exact same thing.”

He said all of it so fast that your lucky that you were able to catch every single word. He was out of breath completely and he closed his eyes leaning his head back and hitting it on the cabinet behind him. The thought hit you hard, you could practically feel a new weight pressing down on you, one that had always been there but you had never acknowledged. He was right. When you weren’t a couple neither of you would have ever let the other come so unglued.

You didn’t notice that you had been quiet until he choked out as many words as it seemed he could get out. “What did we do to each other.”

You looked back down at your hands, twisting your rings around on your fingers thinking it over, because an actual answer is what you needed. Why did you do this? Both of you had done things like this before but it was never as bad as it was now. One of you was always out of it in some way recently. You opened your mouth and started to speak, the answer formed as the words did.

“Because we’ve both always been such a fucking mess, but when we were friends we knew there was nothing to ruin if we called each other out on it.” You brought your head back up and looked to him, meeting desperate eyes. “We knew that even if we were mad at each other for not letting the other make bad decisions our friendship wouldn’t be ruined. We had nothing to lose now we do. So I let you do whatever you wanted so that you would never be mad at me for not letting you. You did the same for me.” Tears started to roll down your face when the final thought crossed your lips. “And we’re here anyway ruining exactly what we were trying not to.”

the two of you let the answer sink in, knowing you were right.

“It took me too long to see that you’re just as fucked up as me” Roger said reaching back out the same hand that was holding yours before.

“Then how do we win Rog?” You reached out to him at this trying to reconnect what you had broken before. He stayed quiet.

“Roger I… I don’t know what I am without you. I hate saying it but you’ve been in my life longer than anyone else. What do you think I’d even be if you hadn’t been with me for the last few years.”

“better off for one.”

He was serious but something about it broke the tension that was enveloping you because you laughed at this.

“Bullshit. I could never have done anything I have without you. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re bad for me because I still need you.” What started out with a laugh had become serious again, there was no avoiding the reality of the situation no matter how much you wanted to.

“I love you. I need you. And we both know exactly what happens if we break.”

He let out a heavy sigh, he knew you were right. You couldn’t go back to how you were before you were together, it didn’t work that way. A breakup would end in you never speaking to each other the same way again, caught in between trying to be the same kids who shared everything but didn’t love each other and the adults who loved each other more than anything who couldn’t even tell each other the truth.

You knew he was trying to find something to say again but the possibility of him saying anything that wouldn’t make things worse was slim. So you moved from your position in front of him crawling the small distance between you throwing one leg over his waist so your knees rested on either side of him.

“Don’t let me lose you. Don’t.” You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him softly. You didn’t know what this was. A goodbye? A ‘stay with me’? Did you want to even know? You just wanted to kiss him until your lips turned blue and your breath was gone. Anything to keep the decision that needed to be made postponed.

It was Roger who broke the kiss finally after what could have been ten minutes or an hour neither of you were sure. placing a hand on the side of your neck and pushing you back slightly. He was breathless and shaking, he hadn’t stopped shaking since he walked in the door however long ago. “What do we do.”

“I don’t know. Right now can we just stay like this. Please.” Ever so slightly Roger nodded his head and brought your lips back to his, clinging to you every way he could find. He didn’t want to know the answer either.

Your lips only parted from his once more, laying your head on his chest listening to the beat of his heart, trying not to think of the possibility that you may never be like this again if you left each other. You said the only thing that you could think of that may keep things the way it was. It was a whispered hope, a dream that you believed could happen if you both tried.

“Promise me that whatever this is, it’s the time when things get better”

#GUYS IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS SHIT BUT I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT PLEASE BE NICE TO ME #Roger Taylor #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!rogerxreader #queen #bohemian rhapsody #Ben Hardy #ben hardy as roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #queen imagines #bohemian rhapsody imagine #Arabella writes

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mysweetgeo · 4 years ago

Note

Hey it’s me again! I loved the blurb that you wrote it was so sweet and amazing! ❤️❤️❤️ If possible could I please ask if you could write either a GeorgexReader or RogerxReader where they’re dating a ballerina please? Thank btw for replying last time! ❤️

Hey bestie :) This is super super short because I haven’t written Rog in a HOT minute but here you go :))

Dancer

Pairings: Roger Taylor x Female!Ballerina!Reader

Warnings: Implied sexual intercourse, sexual comments

When you walked out of the studio he was leaning against the brick walls just outside, a cigarette hanging from his lips in his absentminded way.

His blonde hair framed his face, while his pale blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of round-framed sunnies.

You were still in your tights and tutu when you approached him and swiped the cigarette from his mouth, taking a long drag and exhaling tendrils of smoke in his direction.

“Well hello to you too,” Roger spoke after he’d recovered from the slight shock of you stealing his cigarette.

You grinned and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips, “Hello,” you whispered against his lips.

He couldn’t help the smile that poked out of the corner of his mouth.

His hands reached out to pull you closer, pressing you against his front with his fingers digging into your waist, “Filthy temptress, you are. Might best get you out of these tights as soon as we’re home.”

You only could giggle, slotting yourself against him and popping his stolen cigarette back between his lips.

Your lips soon found a new home on his jaw, kissing a sucking lightly against his pale skin, “Might be in your best interest,” you murmured into his ear.

Roger let out a low groan as he picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder and marched you back to your shared flat, surely to have his way with you.

#roger taylor #queen #ballerina!reader #ballerina #female reader #roger #love

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hardforbenhardy · 5 years ago

Text

drumming lessons | rogerxreader

summary: you were a very emotional drunk. and also a very embarrassing, chatty, and overbearing one too. drunk + studio + pent up feelings do not = good idea.

warnings: swearing, drinking, minimal references to sex near the end

word count: 4.5k

been working on this one for a while and have only just finished - oops :) hope you enjoy!!

“Darling, I’m just saying that if you were to put yourself out there, you could do much better than that poor excuse for a gentleman!” Freddie exclaimed, stubbing out the end of his cigarette in the ashtray before him and pointing his finger accusingly towards the blonde man before you. The same blonde man who you had happily been in a relationship with for the past 2 years. You chuckled loudly in response to Freddie’s statement; you loved how Freddie always stood up for you if there was even the tiniest disagreement between you and Roger. And, as expected, you were in a squabble with your boyfriend, and as expected, Freddie was siding with you.

“Fuck off, Fred!” he almost whined, seemingly afraid that you would take Freddie’s advice and find someone better. As much as he loved Fred, he really did, there were moments between the couple and certain things Freddie did that just set his resentment off the scales. Especially considering he knew how close you and Freddie were, so you had every right and reason to follow his instructions. “You two are taking this completely out of the fucking context! I have literally done nothing wrong! Brian, back me up on this-”

“I refuse to get involved in this”

“Fred, I may just have to take you up on your offer; take me to a strip club and find me a man who will actually have some fun with his girlfriend!” you quipped, taking a long sip of your glass of wine and being so tipsy that you practically fell into Freddie’s side from laughing too much. Though, to say you were tipsy was an absolute under exaggeration. Evening sessions in the studio often resulted in you and Freddie, sometimes Roger when you weren’t siding against him, and even John and Brian from time to time, getting drunk and pissing around because the band had simply began to despise them. It was, you supposed, a form of relief for the boys as you understood the music industry was stressful so why couldn’t you have fun every now and then?

“You have to be fucking kidding me… look, babe you’re just drunk, and it’s getting very late; why don’t we head back, and we can go to bed?” Roger questioned, in a soft and calming voice as he squatted to be level with you as you hunched over, sat in what would be considered quite an ‘unladylike’ position. He was trying to be civil, trying not to let his anger at the two of you get the best of him, trying to get you to listen to him; but Brian and John could both tell in his tone that he was just simply sick and tired of your acting out. You certainly were a whiney, childish drunk and all the boys knew it. He took your hand in his and rubbed his thumb gently against the soft skin of your palm, in hopes you would notice his utter desperation to just get you in bed. His intentions meaning sleep, though your drunk mind immediately turned them dirty. You pushed him backwards with your foot, rather harshly; so harshly, in fact, that he ended up falling flat on his arse and release a small grunt from the pain. Of course, all the other boys burst into laughter; even Brian and John, who had not had a mere drop of alcohol enter their system.

“Roger Meddows Taylor, you dirty dog, what do you take me for?” You laughed, slurring pretty much every single word that left your mouth. You now found yourself on his level, trying to almost patronize him and pointing your finger into his chest “I am not, I repeat not, letting you fuck this until you teach me to play the fucking drums!”

Your last words were practically whined at the top of your voice, acting completely immature for a woman of your age and usual sober-maturity. Brian and John both snickered rather loudly after realising the actual reason you were arguing.

“That’s what this is about? Because you won’t teach her the drums?” John questioned, making Roger sigh loudly and pull himself off the floor, as well as you; meaning you and Roger were stood rather close, his hands on your waist, mainly to avoid you falling to the floor. In a moment of drunk hope, you reached behind him to take his arse in your hands and squeeze tightly; making him release a sound that you could only describe as a combination of a yelp and a groan. Of course, everyone else in the room burst out into laughter, as Roger just felt his cheeks growing redder and redder; he didn’t know whether it was from the embarassment or frustration of the situation.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Y/N, please just come home with me”

“Drums.” you insisted, not letting it go, because you knew Roger would most definitely surrender and give you what you want. Well, at least you hoped. At this point, you could not give two shits about actually playing the drums; you just wanted to do something with Roger that you could bond with him over. You didn’t understand why Roger didn’t want to teach you, you were only asking to learn drums; it wasn’t like you were asking him something outrageous.

“Please, don’t make this any more difficult than it already is; you need rest”

“Drums.”

“Mate, just teach her the drums? I don’t see why that’s such a bad idea” Brian interrupted, earning a grimace from Roger. What everyone didn’t know was Roger would happily teach you the drums; he loved the idea of his girlfriend being able to drum (the idea was rather attractive to him, he couldn’t deny). Though, he was extremely exhausted, overworked, and worn out; he just wanted to sleep.

“Keep out of this Brian; I thought you refused to ‘get involved’” he came back with, and everyone could notice him rising in hostility with every second passing by and every word said. He couldn’t help it; he felt like everyone was siding against him. Everyone was laughing at him, mocking him, standing with you rather than him; every little thing you did to taunt him was earning laughs from the other 3 boys and he was sick of it. No matter how much he loved you, you were acting like a whiny little brat and he couldn’t take it any longer. So with your next words, he caved in.

“D. R. U. M. S. Drums” you slurred, dragging out each letter and leaving pauses. Your face was practically hovering in front of Rogers, inches from making contact, and Roger could feel your warm, alcohol breath hitting his skin. He snapped, grabbing your wrist and pulling you firmly towards his drum kit on the risers at the back of the studio. The 3 boys were now looking up at the two of you, fear rising in their system at how angry he seemed.

“Fine, you want to learn the drums, here we go. That’s the bass, snare, hi-hat, toms, crash cymbal and ride cymbal.” he instructed, pointing out each part of the drum as he said the name and sat himself down on the stool. He gripped his drumsticks, so harshly that his knuckles were fluctuating between a pale white and a crimson red. You could feel yourself regretting this as every second passed by; you hadn’t meant for him to get this angry. “I’m going to play Another One Bites the Dust, and you’re going to watch. Best way to learn the drums is to observe and copy”

You didn’t want to answer, so you just nodded and hummed ‘mhm’. He began playing, banging out each beat that somehow came together so well and yet you could not keep up. His foot was moving at some points, his left hand the others, but his right hand was always hitting the hi-hat; you were attempting to follow but you were sure that even sober, you wouldn’t have been able to understand what he was doing. He was playing with such force, you were sure he was going to pierce the drumstick right through the mylar of the drums; he had sweat dripping down his forehead, and his arms were getting more and more sore every second. Fear struck through you when he finally stopped, and you realised you were not paying attention at all; not only was your vision completely blurred (thanks to the alcohol coursing through you) but the deafening thuds and clangs were sending searing pains to your head. He pushed himself off the stool and obliged you onto it, holding out the drumstick right in front of your face, waiting for you to take them. The three other boys remained speechless as you sent them a look of panic, as if you were pleading them to get you out of the situation you had stupidly got yourself into. He wiggled them in front of your face when you still hadn’t taken them from his grip, so you reluctantly took the hint. You didn’t even know where to start; you readied your foot against the bass-drum pedal, you held the drumsticks loosely in your hands, you had crossed your arms over each other. But you were struck clueless, you had absolutely no idea where to go next.

“Well, fucking play then” Roger commanded, his voice making you jump as you didn’t quite expect it; the drumming sounds still ringing loudly in your ears. You couldn’t help but notice how bitter Roger really was through his tone; he was absolutely pissed off at you. You kept your eyes away from his face, you couldn’t bear to make eye contact with your boyfriend as you were panic-stricken of how he would react if you did. That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his gaze searing into your skin as he stared you down. You played a test beat on the hi-hat, and it sent an ear splitting echo through your ears, which was when you realised that you hadn’t got your other foot on the pedal for it. “Eight counts off the hi-hat. Every 1 and 5, hit the bass. Every 3 and 7 hit the snare. It’s not fucking hard Y/N, and since you were so eager to learn them, you’d think you’d be able to fucking do it”

Your brain played over the words and tried to make sense of them; Hi-hat = 8 counts. Bass on 1 and 5, Snare on 3 and 7. What the fuck was a count? Why were there so many numbers? Why are there other parts of the drum if you don’t use them? And Why had he picked such a fucking difficult song?

You attempted the beat, trying to use your foot and both hands at the same time, doing 8 counts on the hi-hat. Though, nothing pieced together; you found your foot going at the same beat as your right hand, and your left hand playing at completely sparse moments. You didn’t understand how Roger made it seem so utterly natural when your body just wasn’t accepting of the idea that your leg and hands shouldn’t be moving at the same time. You cringed at the atrocity of your playing, and you noticed the other boys do it as well.

“Very abstract playing, darling” Freddie smiled, trying to make you feel at least a little more confident, but you only sent a glare in his direction. You regretted everything; the drinking, the nagging, the drumming. You wanted to go home, and go to bed; just like Roger suggested.

“Is there anything easier I can play, Rog? I-”

“Is that a joke? That was fucking easy, Y/N; that’s one of the easiest fucking Queen songs there is on drums. Maybe if you had just listened to what I had to say before, this wouldn’t have happened; but no, you insisted you wanted to play the drums. So now we’re all stuck here having to listen to your shit drumming. I knew you wouldn’t be able to fucking play them!” Roger practically roared, and he felt the extreme urge to just kick his drum kit off the risers and storm out of the room. Though, you instead took that opportunity; bar the wrecking his extremely expensive drum kit. The moment went so fast, but you could not bear to be in the room with him; you felt an unforeseen wave of guilt wash over you and you were struggling to hold back the stream of tears. So you left the room, locking yourself in the closest closet you could find, just as long as it wasn’t the studio, you didn’t care. Shit drumming. I knew you wouldn’t be able to play them. Fucking easy. Of course it was easy, for him, he’s played drums nearly all his life.

What you were most sorry about was the fact that you knew it was your fault; you should have listened to what he said. You should have just gone home and gone to bed. You couldn’t get angry at Roger for getting angry at you, because you didn’t blame him. You were a complete bitch to him, and he held out for as long as he could without reacting; you were the one who pushed him over the edge because you didn’t want to back down in front of the other boys. You did find it humorous at one point, but now you just wished you could turn back time and decline Freddie’s offer of a whole bottle of wine.

After a few minutes of silently sobbing into your hands, curled in a ball on the floor of the closet, you heard a soft knock at the door and a small whisper.

“Y/N, baby, I’m so fucking sorry; please can I come in?” his voice was muffled by the thickness of the door but you didn’t need to hear it twice to recognise the voice. You pulled yourself off the floor, wobbling a little as you were still rather intoxicated, though you were in much more of a hangover state now. After pulling down the handle, the door opened with much more force than you remembered it usually did, but that was only because Roger was so impatient to get in and comfort you. At first, he wasn’t actually sure if you were upset about the whole situation, but the moment he saw your rosy, mascara-stained cheeks coated in tears, he felt his heart snap in two. “I’m so sorry for snapping out there, I was a dick-“

“N-no, Roger, I-I’m sorry…” you mumbled, your voice cracking after practically every word. The constant sniffling and your sore throat made it difficult to even speak but you pushed through; you had to redeem yourself. “I-I was a complete bitch and I should’ve just listened to you when you suggested we go home but I-I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of the boys and back down. I… you had every right to get angry at me, I’m not mad at you-“

You were cut off from your rambling by the sensation of Rogers lips pressed forcibly against yours in a moment of passion. You got so lost in his touch against yours that by the time the two of you had split, you had practically forgotten what you were saying just moments before. Your eyes met with Rogers, and all you could see in them was mounds of desperation, tears peaking at the corners. Why was he upset?

“You’re not mad at me anymore?” you asked, utter confusion clouding your mind as you tried to figure out how Roger was infuriated only seconds ago and now was treating you like the most fragile piece of glass.

“No, no I’m sorry, so sorry. I-I shouldn’t have snapped in there, I was trying so hard to avoid making a scene. Y-you did nothing wrong, you were just having fun…”

“Why didn’t you want to teach me? Did you really think I was going to be shit?” you questioned; you knew the answer, but you just wanted to confirm it. You yourself didn’t think very highly of yourself, so you understood Roger wouldn’t either. Though that didn’t mean you still didn’t have at least a glimpse of hope.

“I-uh… love, I’m sorry I said that. I was stressed as hell, have been all week. I didn’t think you were going to master it, of course I didn’t, but I swear I didn’t mean to say you were shit. I mean you were drunk, I was barely teaching you, and you have never even picked up a pair of drumsticks before.” Roger's voice was merely there, and you could barely make out the small chuckle at the end of his words, so you giggled too. You were now cuddled, not a gap of air between the two of you as you curled into his lap; your arms wrapped tightly around his waist so he knew not to let you go. His hand stroked through your knotted hair, the other was placed softly against the small of your back to hold you up. “And as for not wanting to teach you; I swear that’s not true. In fact, it’d be an absolute dream to teach you drums; you’d be so fucking sexy. I-I, I just haven’t been up for even playing them myself recently. Working in the studio every day, I feel overworked and completely drained of all energy. It was nothing to do with you, I just simply want to get some decent sleep”

“I-I’m sorry for not taking you into consideration; if you had mentioned it earlier, I wouldn’t have drank and we could have just gone home. Or I’m sure the boys would have understood if you took the day off. You could all do with a break from the studio” you sniffled, mumbling into his neck as you felt him nod in agreement. He knew you were right, he should have told you when you both woke up; you would have protested but all he needed to say was that he hadn’t been sleeping and you would have practically forced him back into bed, whether he liked it or not. He just didn’t want to ruin the bands chance of getting this album released; they were so close to releasing their new album, The Game, and it only needed a few more touches so Roger didn’t want to make the process any longer.

“I know, I know. Why were you so eager to learn them? You’ve never shown interest before?”

“W-well, I just… wanted to spend some time with you and-” you explained, trying to convince Roger that you were telling the truth; though he noticed you weren’t. He had developed a skill of understanding your every emotion; and in this example, your nose would always scrunch up when you lied.

“Y/N, tell the truth”

“F-fine, truth is I saw John teaching Ronnie how to play the bass the other day, and I couldn’t help but notice how happy they were; I just wanted to bond with you, spend time with you, have fun with you. They looked so… perfect. We don’t do romantic things like that. And I wanted to. Also, I can’t help but feel useless around here; everyone has a place but me. Freddie sings, John plays bass, Brian plays guitar, you play drums, Ronnie is the resident ‘food and coffee collector’ and Chrissie helps Miami with management sometimes. I have literally no business being in the studio other than sitting and waiting for you. So, I thought if I could play drums, I might be able to come up with some beats for new songs…” you explained, feeling yourself begin sob again at the feeling you had previously suppressed. You hadn’t had to voice it before now, but saying it out loud makes you realise just how pathetic you sounded to yourself. That wasn’t to say you were wrong about it though.

“Oh lovie, you are not useless; I’m so sorry you feel that way. You don’t need a reason to be at the studio.” he comforted, pulling you impossibly closer than you already were and rubbing his hand along your back. He had never really considered your relationship ‘unromantic’ - to him, you were all he needed to feel loved and that was romantic enough. But he understood your point; you weren’t all lovey-dovey, especially around the boys. And he had never really considered the fact you didn’t have a purpose around the studio because you didn’t need one. The boys absolutely loved you, and your company made their day. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve always thought your job around here is to cheer everyone up because you always seem to do that with your presence”

“You really think so? I’ve always thought I’m just a burden” you sniffled, pulling your face away from his chest as looking up at him with doe-eyes. He couldn’t help but admire how pretty you were, even in this state; drunk and heartbroken.

“I absolutely think so; you don’t need a purpose around here. Look, I would love to teach you drums when I’m not so exhausted; maybe we can set something up in the week? But for now, I think we should go home, and sleep. Please” he begged, another large yawn coming out his mouth. You nodded, trying to stand up without passing out from the alcohol poisoning your system, with Roger giving you a hand.

It was safe to say you both slept like logs that night.

*****

Roger had looked everywhere, but he still hadn’t found you; you had planned to meet in the studio for your first drumming lesson, but you were yet to turn up. Bored out of his mind, he took a stroll through the different rooms in the building in search for a cigarette he could steal, when he came across a room he’d been yet to explore. He hoped it was a room of Freddie’s, because he would’ve been certain to find something in there to do.

Walking in, he noticed the room was far too bland to be anything to do with Freddie, otherwise it would have grand costumes and colourful posters plastered over the wall. In fact, it looked like a room a bunch of girls would sit in and gossip. Which allowed him to whittle it down to a room you, Ronnie and Chrissie (maybe even Jim sometimes) would come to gossip in whilst the boys recorded. When he was about to leave, he noticed a small book on the coffee table in the centre of the room. It looked quite small, but it had definitely been used as the edges were tattered and the pages were brimming with post-its and other inserts. Being the curious little shit he is, he took a sneak to see what was inside.

As he opened it, his brain immediately clicked that this was some kind of ‘songbook’, presuming it was one of the boys who had been working on new material. Though the handwriting was way too familiar to pass down, the curves of the h’s and the flicks of the y’s; this was your handwriting. Your book. Your songs? Skimming over the lyrics to the first song he saw, titled ‘Radio Ga Ga’

I'd sit alone and watch your light

My only friend through teenage nights

And everything I had to know

I heard it on my radio

Reading the words, he could already imagine the beat of the drums and the way Freddie’s voice would sound singing the song; he thought it was genius. He read through the whole song, picking out certain lines he could change or his personal favourites. He also couldn’t help but recognise the fact that the whole chorus sounded a little like something his son had said a few days earlier when you were feeding him his breakfast and listening the radio.

“Roger?” he heard his name being shouted from the studio, instantly recognising your voice and going to find you (carrying the book with him). He met you in the room, seeing that you had Felix in one arm and a shopping bag in the other. “I-I’m sorry I was late, John said he’s look after Felix while I did the shopping but he and Ronnie came down with the flu, and Brian is at some astrophysics lecture, and Freddie on some romantic holiday with Jim for the weekend as you know so I had to take him shopping with me- where did you find that?”

“In your secret little room you and the girls seem to have. Why didn’t you show me this? Some of these songs are amazing, Y/N!” Roger enthused, taking the little boy out your arms so you could relieve yourself of the heavy baggage. You raised your eyebrow in disbelief of his words; they weren’t that good.

“You really think? They’re just some shit I write when Ronnie and Chrissie are busy chatting about the boys in bed, so I don’t have to join the conversation.”

“I know Y/N. That first one, Radio Ga Ga, could be a major hit. I could hear it in Freddie’s voice in my head, in fact I think I might already have the tune. Listen” he seemed extremely excited about it, rushing over to the keyboard to play the chords. You sang the words along as he played, your son joining in when it came to the ‘Radio Ga Ga’ with his own interpretation; the same one he had said in the kitchen a few days ago. You and Roger both laughed at Felix’s cheering, Roger kissing him on the cheek and going to give you a hug.

“Roger, that sounds amazing!”

“Well, I could’ve hardly done it without your songwriting. I’m serious YN, you should pitch some of these to the boys. Like that Hammer to Fall, and I Want To Break Free - the boys would love them!”

“O-Okay. I will. I guess if I’m such an amazing songwriter, I don’t need to learn the drums” you giggled, snatching your book back off Rog to put in your bag.

“Mhm, I think you could still learn them; just the idea of you on them gets me going” he winked, wrapping his arm around your waist and burying his face into your neck. He wasn’t lying, and you could tell because he was only this touchy when he wanted something.

“Not while Felix is here!” you chuckled, patting him on the back and pointing towards your child who, while completely oblivious to you and Roger, was plucking at the strings of John’s bass, which you were thankful was not plugged in.

You caved in to Rogers demands, and learning the drums wasn’t as hard as you expected. As long as you weren’t drunk, and Roger wasn’t exhausted.

#roger #taylor #rogertaylor #roger taylor #roger taylor fanfic #roger x reader #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy!roger x reader #ben hardy!roger taylor #queen #freddie mercury #Brian May #John Deacon

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benhardyisdaddy · 6 years ago

Text

All You Had To Do Was Ask

MASTERLIST

(ooof hello to this smutty fic okay FIRST OFF i apologize in advance cuz i havent wrote a full on smut fic in forever so i feel rusty so im SORRY IF ITS NOT GOOD but i hope u all like it and especially the anon that requested it xoxo also these gifs are how i imagined his face to look when he walks in on y/n sksksk)

Word Count: 2,822

RogerxReader

WARNING: smut, masturbation with an object

Being on tour with the world famous rock band Queen wasn’t as chaotic or crazy as you thought it would be. Yeah, their parties got a little rowdy and the sea of women you’ve had to swim through to get a single drink was insane - it wasn’t nearly as bad as what you had envisioned in your head when your best friend, Roger, invited you.

“We could really use a woman’s touch on tour. Keep our feet on the ground or what not.”

Roger was over at your flat as he lounged on your sofa with a beer in his hand, his feet on your coffee table. You were sitting diagonally from him as you listened to him attempt to persuade you into coming along on a five month tour with the band.

“Five months?” you asked shocked. “Roger, how will I pay bills if I tell my job I’m leaving for five months to go do god-knows-what with you all?”

Roger shook his head and takes a swig from his bottle.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll help you with whatever you need.”

You lean forward and push his feet off of your coffee table, causing him to lightly laugh.

“See? Like that! You’ll put us in our place and everything will be perfect. We need you.” he says with giant puppy dog eyes.

You narrow yours and tense your jaw in deep concentration.

“It’ll kind of be like a holiday.” you murmur.

Roger eyes go wide as he smiles and sits up more.

“Yes! Exactly! Look at it like you’re going on a holiday. Just with an awesome famous band.” he teases, throwing you a wink.

You roll your eyes and smile as you think for a moment longer, finally coming to a decision.

“Alright, fine,” you say, causing him to ball up his fists and whisper ‘yes’. “But the moment I feel left out, I’m leaving. Knowing you Roger Taylor, you’ll be busy doing what and who during your free time.”

“I promise,” he says, leaning forward with a big goofy grin on his face. “I promise you’ll have the time of your life.”

And he was, sadly, right. You’ve enjoyed yourself so much these past two months with the boys. Roger’s kept his promise about not leaving you out and you really felt like you were apart of the band. You all were almost to the next city where they’d be staying for a full week. You were almost to your hotel and you were beyond excited. You can finally get to your room and release some steam that’s been bugging you this whole car ride. Your thighs are squeezed together as you watch the boys all laugh and talk about something you weren’t paying attention to.

You look to Roger and admire how he smiles - his tongue slightly pushing between his teeth and then fully licking his lips. You were so sexually frustrated that you began imagining how nice his tongue must feel and how experienced he must be. You’re continuing to stare at him and are so lost in your thoughts, you don’t even realize him looking back at you.

“You alright?” he asks, his brows knitting together.

Oh god, you were biting your lip hard. You shake your head a bit and smile to him.

“Oh, yeah. Just tired.” you lie.

He stares at you a moment longer, a smirk-like smile on his face. If he could read your mind, you’d be screwed. Hopefully by him, you think to yourself. Where were all of these thoughts and feelings coming from? You’ve never thought of Roger that way. Alright, why are you lying to yourself? You’ve been so madly in love with him from the first time you met when you were sixteen. You deny the fact you like him so you wouldn’t be completely devastated when he tells you he doesn’t feel the same. Who cares if you think about your best friend when you touch yourself late at night? It’s not like anybody else needs to know your dirty little secret.

“And here we are!” says John as he looks out the window and up at the hotel.

Hotel? This was more like a condo. It was huge and beautiful. You stare up at it in awe as Roger slides next to you and does the same. You look over to him and admire the way his eyes flutter up and the slight smile on his lips. He looks to you and you quickly look back to the building fast. Roger slightly laughs as the door opens up and out he goes. He reaches his hand out for you to take and helps you out. You all make your way into the building and to the front desk. People stare at you in amazement as they whisper and smile and point at the boys, obviously recognizing them.

Joe checks in to his suite, then Brian, then Freddie, then Roger. Now it’s your turn.

“Last name?” asks the lady.

Her eyes keep darting over to Roger as she blushes and smiles to him. You narrow your eyes and lean forward, making sure your voice brings her back to reality.

“Y/l/n.” you say loudly, causing her to slightly jump.

You can hear Roger hold back a laugh behind you as the lady embarrassingly smiles and types away on the computer.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I don’t see you on here for a room. When did you make it?” she asks.

“What?” you ask, shocked. “We made these reservation days ago. Are you sure?”

She types some more on the computer and shakes her head, frowning.

“No, ma’am. I have nothing.”

“Well, then can we just rent a room right now for her?” asks Roger, walking up beside you.

“We’re completely booked, Mr. Taylor. Believe me, if I could, I would.” she says smiling to him.

You exhale and close your eyes, trying to think of something.

“Just bunk with me.” says Roger to you.

You look to him and your heart jumps. The thought about sharing a room with Roger made you feel shaky and light headed.

“Share a room with you?” you ask, your voice barely audible.

“Your room, Mr. Taylor, does have two separate beds in it. Along with a kitchen, bathroom and living area.” she tells him.

Roger looks to you and smugly smiles as he reaches down and grabs your bag.

“Then it’s settled. You’ll stay in mine.”

***

You were really hoping for some alone time and that’s not going to happen now. You couldn’t do what you were going to do, knowing that Roger was right there. You both were in your room as you look around in awe. The suite was large and beautifully decorated. You move past Roger and grab your toiletry bag and head for the bathroom. You close the door and lock it fast. You place your bag on the counter and unzip it. Your heart sinks.

“No!” you say loudly.

“You alright?” asks Roger, knocking on the door.

You jump and force yourself to calm down and laugh.

“Oh, yeah! I’m fine! Just left something back at the hotel.”

“Oh, do you need me to send our driver to get it? What was it?”

“Oops, here it is!” you lie.

It wasn’t there. The one thing you were hoping to see - your vibrator. You couldn’t dare tell Roger that it was missing. How embarrassing. You sulk for a moment longer until you walk back out to the living room and spot Roger inside the bedroom. The lady was right, there were two large beds right next to each other. Great. You pick your bed and slide under the covers, your back facing Roger.

“Going to bed already?” he asks, shocked.

You fake yawn as you speak.

“Yeah, I’m super tired. Night, Rog.”

He stares at you as he frowns.

“Oh. Night, y/n.”

***

The next day was a little better, or at least so you keep telling yourself. You were at rehearsals for the whole day with the boys as they practiced for their set. It was nearing 10pm when they all finally call it quits. Roger walks up to you all sweaty and grinning.

“Sounded amazing.” you tell him.

“You look amazing.” he says a smirk on his face - or until he realizes what he just said.

Your eyebrows go up as Roger stumbles with his words. His face goes red as he attempts to explain what he meant.

“What I mean is that your shirt looks good on you. The shirt is nice. You look nice.”

He closes his eyes and embarrassingly laughs.

“I like your shirt.” he slowly says, causing you to laugh.

“A compliment from the Roger Taylor? If I was any other girl I’d be on my knees by now.” you tease, giggling as you walk away.

Roger’s face goes serious at your words and then he laughs a bit, not knowing if you were serious or not - you were, but he doesn’t need to know that. You all make your way back to the hotel and you were suddenly reminded of your lost vibrator and your certain needs.

“We were all gonna go grab a drink at the lounge area downstairs. You wanna join?” asks Brian to you as you all walk inside.

Bingo! Perfect opportunity for you.

“Oh, I think I’m alright actually. I’m just gonna go read for a bit.”

Roger watches you with a confused look as you begin walking away.

“You sure?” he calls out.

“Yeah! Have fun!”

Finally. You’re all by yourself. You hurry to your room and jump on your bed. You unzip your pants and fling them off, along with your panties. You close your eyes and allow your fingers to slide between your soaked folds. You imagine Roger doing it himself and that helps a lot. You bite your lip as you slide a finger inside and groan.

“Roger,” you whisper out loud, but it doesn’t help.

You need more. You huff as you sit up and look around the room. Your eyes dart across Roger’s half opened bag as his drumstick is poking out. A sudden, crazy idea hits you. You stand up and walk over to it, your fingers picking it up. Roger’s fingers have touched this so many times and you're envious of them. You bite your lip and make your way back to your bed. You lie back down and decide when you’re done, you’ll wash it off. He’ll never know. You slowly bring the thicker part of the stick to your core and gently push it inside. Your back arches as you moan out, imagining Roger once more. It feels so good. You pick up the speed as your other hand works on your sensitive nub. It’s not like your vibrator, but it’s working. You feel yourself getting close.

“Roger,” you whisper out. “Oh, Roger. You feel so good.”

Your speed is picking up fast, when suddenly you hear the floor creak. Your eyes fly open as you remove the drumstick and look up fast. Your cheeks are red hot as you spot Roger standing in the doorway of the room, watching you. You fling the sheets over your lower half and your hearts beating fast. You want the floor to open up and swallow you whole.

“Roger,” you breathe out, embarrassed.

“Are you using my drumstick to… Masturbate with?” he asks, his eyes locked onto it beside you.

You close your eyes and fall back on the bed, covering your face and groaning.

“I’m so sorry! I’m such an idiot! I’m so embarrassed right now! You weren’t supposed to be here!” you cry out.

“You said to not leave you out and I felt like I was, so I came back to hang out with you! Tell me what exactly you’re doing?” he asks fast.

“I forgot-”

You freeze and don’t dare to say anymore, but Roger wasn’t having that.

“You forgot what?” he asks moving closer.

“I forgot my… My vibrator. I needed it so bad and I had nothing and I saw your drumstick and I’m such an idiot! I’m so sorry.”

Roger laughs and continues watching you, his eyes glancing down at your thrown off panties on the floor.

“So, you forget your sex toy and you decide to use my drumstick as one?” he asks, understanding. “All you had to do was ask.”

Your whole body freezes as you slowly look over to him with a confused look on your face.

“Ask you what? To go buy me a sex toy?” you ask, not understanding.

“No,” he says, half laughing. “Ask me to help you.” he says slowly for you to understand.

“For you to sleep with me?” you whisper.

“Is it such a bad idea? You need relief, I need relief. I trust you, you trust me.”

The two of you stare at each other for a moment as you’re in deep thought.

“Roger,” you whisper.

All you can do is nod. Roger’s face lights up as he walks up to you and sits on the side of the bed.

“Yeah?” he asks, making sure.

“Yeah.” you tell him, smiling.

Without waiting, Roger leans forward and kisses you hard. You lean into him as his hand tugs on your hair, making your groan.

“Lay back.” he whispers against you.

You do as he says and before you know it, he’s discarded all of his clothes and is hovering over you. You stare down at his length and bring your hand to pump him a few times. His eyes flutter closed as he jerks a bit at your touch.

“Does this feel weird?” you whisper to him.

“I think it feels amazing.” he teases, smiling.

You laugh and playfully nudge his arm.

“No, I mean this. Us. Right now.”

He looks down at you with a sweet smile on his face before leaning down and kissing you once more.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, so, no. Not to me.”

You’re taken back by what he had just said.

“You have?” you quietly ask him.

“I have.”

All you can do is smile as he kisses you and begins sliding your shirt over your head. His hand goes in between your legs as he rubs you.

“I heard you moaning my name.” he whispers in your ear. “Is that why you’re so wet?”

You close your eyes and nod as you groan.

“Good girl.” he tells you.

He spreads your legs apart even further and places himself at your entrance.

“Are you sure?” he asks you.

“You have no idea how sure I am.” you tell him, your finger grazing his bottom lip.

Roger smiles as he bites his lip and slowly slips inside of you. You both moan out as he slides further in and pauses.

“Better than my drumstick?” he asks, making you laugh.

“Much better.”

Roger slowly slides himself out of you and then slams back inside. You dig your nails into his shoulders as you cry out. He repeats this action several times before bringing his hand down to rub tiny circles on your nub.

“Fuck,” you hiss at the contact.

“Feel good?” he asks.

“Harder!” you cry out.

Roger slams into you while nuzzling his face in the side of your neck.

“You- You feel so good. I don’t think I’m gonna last.” he says fast.

“Fuck, neither am I!” you moan out.

thrustthrustthrustthrust

“Where do you want me?” he asks quickly, his voice shaky.

“I wanna feel you inside me.” you whisper to him.

Roger practically growls by your answer as he picks up his speed and is suddenly crying out your name as his body jerks. He fills you up as you hold him close to you and hit your high as well. You’re both in the world of pure ecstasy as you hold onto one another and don’t want to let go. You’re seeing stars as he whispers against you.

“God, I love you.”

You hold still and open your eyes at his statement. Roger shakes his head, not meaning for that to have slipped out. He backs away and looks at you.

“What did you say?” you whisper.

He almost sadly smiles as he shrugs and repeats himself.

“I… love you. I have since I met you.”

“Roger,” you whisper, cupping his face with your hands. “I love you too.”

His eyes sparkle as he smiles and leans down to kiss you.

“Ya know,” he starts. “I wouldn’t mind watching you again with my drumstick.” he teases.

You lean your head back and laugh loudly, playfully shoving him off of you. Roger laughs and smiles as he watches you grin. The two of you confessed your love and you both have no idea that, a year from now, you’d be re-confessing them during your vows.

Tag List: @oxuminaa @billyhargovesgurl @queengavemeasheerheartattack @queerdo-shmeerdo @jazzman-19 @strawberry-lemonade0 @benders-diamond-earring @miss-artemis-wild @marvlnstuff @smokinroger @borhapbitch @universallytragicpeach @akwod @rogershoe @just-another-roger-whore

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#benhardyisdaddy #roger taylor #rogertaylor #ben!rogertaylor #rogertaylorxy/n #smut #fic #queen #John Deacon #Brian May #all you had to do was ask #benhardy!rogertaylor #roger taylor smut #borhap #roger taylor x you

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luccislegs · 6 years ago

Note

im living for the poly hcs ;^; makes me so happy to see them. Its okay if you dont wanna but can I ask for RogerxReaderxRouge hcs with a male/or gender netural s/o? set in the OP universe?

The only real problem with some pairings is that i don’t have fleshed out headcanons for them. Like with lawxkidxreader i have actual ideas already going on. I’ll still write them and i don’t half-ass them, but i don’t want you to be disappointed if they aren’t as filled out as some others are.

you’re with rouge first, in a happily committed relationship. it’s open between the two of you, but very rarely do either of you go to anyone else.

when roger shows up, it’s instant attraction from both of you and you both recognize it. there’s some mild trepidation given roger’s reputation, but it doesn’t stop you from stepping into the pub and maybe dropping some not-so-subtle hints.

roger isn’t one to turn down a party and takes you both back to the ship and it’s over from there. he’s a very generous lover, and isn’t afraid of what anyone else thinks about getting involved with an established couple, let alone a man, and he proves it to you that night.

the roger pirates are docked on your island for a week and you don’t think he’s been in the company of anyone else the whole time. on the last night that he’s there, you admit you don’t want him to leave, speaking for both you and rouge, who’s nodding in agreement. roger laughs and promises he’ll come back to see you, ending it with a wink. he kisses you and tastes of nothing but rum, and you almost can’t let go.

you both see him off, hand in hand, and roger watches you grow smaller, wishing he could have stayed just a little longer. rouge turns to you with a small, sad smile, and you recognize in it that the two of you won’t ever be enough again.

but just because you miss roger doesn’t mean that your relationship with rouge is any less. if anything, you feel refreshed in it because…well, just because. roger was like a breath of fresh air, and you and rouge are just happier for it. both of you continue on the way you always have, secretly waiting for roger’s return. late at night, when you’re both on the verge of sleep and rouge’s head is resting on your chest, the two of you reminisce about him, and it often leads to something more passionate.

upon roger’s return, the two of you immediately drag him away from his crew, and by the time you’re done, it’s dark. roger has no desire to go anywhere, though, and stays the night. it’s a pleasant surprise, given that he usually insists on returning to the ship, just to protect the two of you, and you wonder what’s changed.

it’s made clear to you, though, when you wake in the middle of the night and find roger watching rouge with a serene, warm smile. when he catches you staring at him, he gives you the same, and you can feel your heart speed up at the same time that your stomach curls. you recognize that look. it’s the same one rouge gives you when she thinks you aren’t looking, and the same one you think you give her too.

roger comes back a few more times before finally telling you it’ll be the last you see of him for a while. he’s going to travel to the end of the new world, and he knows it’s going to be a long time before he can make it back. you and rouge are naturally sad, but also support roger to the fullest extent, and encourage him to make his dream come true.

his last night with you is slow and sweet and lasts all night. rouge gives out before either of you, and you continue for a while before she wakes up again to join in. seeing him off that morning is bittersweet, and you can feel rouge’s hand tremble in yours. he’s a speck on the horizon when she turns and cries into your chest.

this kiss tastes once more of rum, and freedom.

true to his word, it’s years before he returns and, when he does, you know something is wrong. he seems happy enough, but he’s alone. his stories of the new world and laugh tel are spectacular and astounding, but there’s some spark missing from his words. unable to find the proper moment to bring it up, you let it go and allow him to carry on like normal.

even though he seems less enormous than he did before, he’s just as much a warm and caring lover as ever, if not more so since he spent so much time away. there isn’t a day where he isn’t helping rouge in the garden or you with cooking, and not a night passes where the three of you aren’t a mix of arms and legs and passion.

before you know it, roger is leaving and this time, says nothing of when he’ll be back. with a pounding heart, you finally question what’s been wrong this whole time. it breaks when he answers, telling you and rouge of his illness and his plans. it’s the first and only time you beg him not to leave, rouge almost screaming at him to stay with you. but he resists, saying that he doesn’t want the two of you in anymore danger than you already are with his presence. if he leaves now and turns himself in, before the world government finds out about the two of you, then there’s less chance of you being hunted.

there’s no stopping him, and your last kiss with him tastes of salt and misery.

the news of roger’s death is punctuated by rouge’s sobs, her hands wrapped around her stomach. you’re barely containing your own, but you put your hands to her shoulders, encouraging her to breathe. her heaving comes to stop, but it comes at the cost of tears, and your shirt is soaked within minutes

you aren’t sure who the baby belongs to, but a large portion of you hopes it’s his. even though you know it’ll be in danger, knowing that the world government will be on the hunt for any remaining link to gol d. roger, you can’t help that selfish wish. rouge won’t say it, but you know she feels the same.

shortly before his death, roger received a letter detailing the pregnancy of a dear friend of his, and his heart constricted with fear in his chest even as he felt overwhelming adoration for this child he would never meet. his next action was to beg vice admiral garp for help protecting him. he couldn’t even be sure the child was his, but it was as good as and the last thing he wanted was for it to be hurt because it shared his blood.

you’re absolutely stricken when marines show up on the island, tearing through the villages looking for pregnant women. you hurry home, gathering rouge up in your arms, terrified of them finding out your secret. rouge assures you, though, promising that they aren’t going anywhere, and you swear to protect them with your life.

it’s almost 2 years before the marines leave and, in that time, rouge has yet to give birth. the two of you had discussed it and, even though you didn’t think they would connect you two to them, rouge wasn’t willing to risk it. it killed you to agree with her, but she wouldn’t hear anything else.

everyday, you can see it putting more and more strain on her, killing her a little more, and every part of you wants to beg her to stop, but the stronger part of you knows she wouldn’t and that you couldn’t ask her to. so instead you give her everything you can, knowing that it’ll come to an end soon.

when he’s born, you can see rouge in him, in his freckles and his cute button nose. but you hold your breath when you recognize roger in him, in the mop of hair on the top of his head, but mostly in his deep brown, almost black eyes. you want to cry when you see him, knowing you and rouge made the right decision.

rouge passes him to you, and ace smiles up at you, all gums, and you smile back even as the tears finally fall. you’re the one to pass him to garp, because rouge collapses backwards on the bed. with one arm around her back, you hold her to you, whispering promises you know you can’t keep.

she gives you a soft smile, tears clinging to her lashes, knowing your words are lies, but she’s content to believe them in her dying moments.

when you turn to garp, he’s looking at ace with a mix of trepidation and sadness, and you want to take him back, but can’t, knowing he would be far safer wherever garp is taking him. watching garp walk away with your son is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, because he’s the last connection you have to the two people you loved most.

you aren’t sure, as you watch the ship disappear on the horizon, whether you regret roger coming into your lives. he turned everything upside down in a lot of ways, but you simply can’t figure it out. you don’t know if you ever will.

i just happened to write this this way. if you want, i can write it where it’s rogerxreader and they meet rouge. i was already ¾ through it when i had another idea for it.

#gol d. roger #gol d. roger x reader #portgas d. rouge #portgas d. rouge x reader #gol d. roger x portgas d. rouge #gol d. roger x reader x portgas d. rouge #one piece headcanons

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briansclogss · 6 years ago

Text

Just Say It

Pairing(s): RogerxReader , BrianxReader

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: On the night you and Brian decide to announce your engagement, Roger has an important confession to make.

Warnings: SUPER angsty, also some swearing, and a bit of fluff thrown in for good measure!

A/N: Thank you so much to @sweet-ladyy for being the beta reader for my first fic ever! Your input was incredibly helpful, and gave me the boost of confidence to post this!

I hope you all enjoy!

As you sat by the door waiting for Brian to finish putting on his tie, you couldn’t help but admire the ring on your left hand. With its intricate design and encrusted diamonds, the ring signified your engagement to the incredible guitarist who’d stolen your heart nearly a decade ago.

You’d met him at one of Queen’s first shows in university. The moment you’d seen him strumming his guitar in a local pub you swore you’d never seen anyone so beautiful in your life.

It hadn’t always been smooth sailing for the two of you. Queen’s constant cycle of recording and touring for years on end had caused you and Brian to dance around your feelings for years.

But here you were, waiting for your fiancé to slip on his shoes so that the pair of you could head to Freddie’s for dinner. Your engagement was still fresh, and both of you had been dying to tell the rest of the band. You’d decided that an intimate dinner at Freddie’s was the perfect time to announce it.

“Are you ready love?” Brian gave you a cheeky smile.

You rolled your eyes playfully, giving him a smile. No matter what the occasion, you were always ready at least twenty minutes before him.

As you stood to open the front door Brian stopped you and began to gently run his hands up and down your arms.

“You look incredible tonight,” his voice came out in a nearly breathless whisper as he planted a soft kiss on your forehead.

You didn’t try to suppress your blush as you took his hand and lead him out the door.

---------------

You pulled up to Freddie’s house in a matter of minutes. You and Brian had recently bought a house in the same area, anticipating starting a family soon after your marriage. The thought made your heart flutter in your chest.

Despite the proximity of your homes, Freddie’s must have been twice as grand, and had almost as much personality as the owner himself.

As you and Brian walked to hand-in-hand to the entrance, the reality of the night began to hit you.

“Sorry Bri, can we stop for a second?” you asked your fiancé, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

“Everything alright, love?” His face was contorted in an adorable look of concern.

“Yeah, of course. Just a bit nervous is all.”

You gave him a shy smile. You weren’t completely sure why you were feeling so nervous. After all, you were extremely close with all the boys, having known them since Queen’s early days. Telling them about your engagement should be as easy as telling family. Maybe that’s why you were so nervous. Just like with family, you wanted the boys to approve of your and Brian’s engagement.

You knew it was a ridiculous thing to worry about, seeing as the boys had never been anything but supportive of your relationship. Still, you couldn’t calm the butterflies in your stomach as you and Brian reached the door.

Brian turned to you, giving you a soft smile.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.” Your stomach did a flip as Brian rang the doorbell.

------------

In the living room Freddie, John, and Roger sat, each nursing a drink as they awaited your arrival.

“Where the hell are they?” Roger huffed, setting down his drink so that he could pace around the room. He was getting restless thinking about your and Brian’s impending arrival, and the ‘special announcement’ that was promised to come with it.

“What do you reckon they want to tell us anyways?’ Roger asked, flipping through Freddie’s collection of albums.

“Probably adopted a dog or something” John snorted, “He kept going on about the two of them reaching a new ‘relationship milestone’” he said giving air quotes, “Whatever that means…”

Just as Roger was about to reply with a sarcastic comment of his own, the doorbell chimed, signalling your arrival.

“And speak of the devil! That’ll be them!” Freddie exclaimed, hurrying off to answer the door.

Despite his best efforts to remain calm, Roger couldn’t help the sudden pounding in his chest, or fumbling of his hands as he tried to place an album back on the shelf.

As he turned around he could have sworn his breath caught in his chest at the sight of you. Roger couldn’t help but think about how stunning you looked as you entered the room. But his nerves were quickly replaced with a sudden jolt of jealousy as he looked at your and Brian’s entwined hands. He felt guilty for thinking about you and feeling the way he did.

After all, you were with Brian, and Brian was his best friend. Friends were not supposed to be jealous of their friends. And he knew without a doubt that he should be happy for Brian, but he couldn’t ignore the sting that came from watching you with a man that wasn’t him.

-------------

“Freddie!” you beamed as he opened the door and excitedly welcomed you and Brian into his house.

“It’s been far too long, darling!”

He opened his arms and you leaned in for a hug, quickly slipping your engagement ring off in the process. You and Brian had decided to make your announcement during dessert. ‘That way it’ll be sweeter!’ he’d joked on the car ride over.

As Freddie led you to the living room you couldn’t help but smile at the small details that made the house uniquely Freddie. From the paintings to the the piano in the corner of the room, everything in his home perfectly encapsulated his style. You felt a rush of excitement thinking about how you and Brian would decorate your new home.

You’d pick out the furniture and decorate the inside of the house, and Brian would be responsible for the garden in the back. He’d been over the moon about the idea of installing bird feeders and planting flowers for the bees to pollinate. And of course, you would convert one of the rooms into a studio for Brian to play whenever inspiration struck him. Even if that was more often than not at two in the morning.

As you entered the living room you were greeted by John’s warm embrace.

“Hi John!” You gave him a wide smile. “How are the kids?”

His face lit up at the mention of his children. John was relatively soft spoken, but once you got him talking about his kids he wouldn’t shut up.

“Doing well, the youngest one’s just lost his first tooth!” He beamed.

You smiled and shared a knowing look with Brian. You’d recently started discussing the prospect of having children of your own. It just seemed like the next big step after you two were married.

As you parted ways with John you noticed Roger’s mop of blond hair near the record player. He was awkwardly fumbling with an album as he tried to place it back on the shelf.

You let go of Brian’s hand and slipped away to greet Roger. Brian was still fully consumed by John’s anecdote about the tooth fairy.

“Hey stranger.” you tapped Roger lightly on the shoulder.

“Oh hey y/n!” He jumped a little, clearly startled, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He seemed slightly on edge but you dismissed it, giving him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

Roger cleared his throat and turned back to the shelf full of albums. He hoped you couldn’t see the embarrassing shade of pink that had begun to colour his cheeks.

“You look…” Roger began, but his words were cut off by the loud laughs of the three men behind you.

“Sorry Rog, I didn’t catch that.”

He cleared his throat and turned back around to face you.

“I said, you look good tonight. The two of you,” he quickly added, “here together.”

You blushed and thanked him. Little did you know that what he really meant was that you looked gorgeous tonight, every time he saw you in fact. And whenever he saw you with Brian, his heart broke just a little because he wished it was him you were dressing up for, not his best friend.

Just as you were about to ask Roger about his most recent trip to Japan with John, you felt you a warm, gentle touch on your back that could only belong to one person.

“How are you mate!” Brian exclaimed, pulling Roger in for a brotherly hug.

Roger looked taken aback by Brian’s unusually energetic greeting, but you knew exactly why he was so excited. Despite his calm demeanor on the drive over, you knew that Brian was just as eager as you to tell the boys about your engagement.

As Brian and Roger started talking about a new album Roger has picked up, a timer went off, signalling that the food was ready.

“And that will be supper,” Freddie exclaimed, “you two came just in time!”

He took you by the hand and lead you into the dining room.

“I had your favourite made” he said, “thought it was appropriate since you and Brian have a ‘special announcement’ to make” he gave you a teasing smile.

You couldn’t help the smile of your own that spread across your face as you sat down for dinner.

—————

The meal had been delicious, and the conversation as free flowing as the wine that was passed around the table.

In spite of the comfort and ease you felt around the boys on a daily basis, you couldn’t stop your leg from bouncing nervously throughout the meal.

While Freddie, John, and Roger were too caught up in their conversation to notice, Brian could sense your nerves immediately. He placed a hand on your knee to stop the bouncing and leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“It’s alright love, we’ll tell them in no time.”

His breath tickled your ear and you two shared a sweet smile as he lightly squeezed your leg.

You turned your head back to the men in front of you and were hit with an unexpected jolt in your stomach as your eyes met Roger’s piercing blue ones.

He quickly looked away, stretching back into his seat and giving an exaggerated yawn.

“I’m about to fall asleep Fred, I’d say it’s time for some coffee and desserts, yeah?”

And with that, you all got up and made your way back to the living room for dessert. And more importantly, for your special announcement.

—————-

After you’d finished your cake and the coffee had gone cold, you and Brian finally decided it was time to tell the boys. Brian could tell you were close to bursting from excitement, so he reached over taking your hand in his and cleared his throat.

“So I know you’ve all been waiting for our special news tonight.”

“Yeah mate, we were wondering when you’d get to that,” John teased.

“Anyways,” Brian continued, “as you all know, y/n and I have been together for a while now, and we’ve fancied each other for a lot longer than that.”

The boys murmured in agreement at that.

“...and so we decided that, we’ll actually it was me who went and—"

“Oh will you just get on with it!” Roger interrupted, shifting on the couch.

“Oh hush Roger!” Freddie quipped, “they were just about to tell us.”

“Well, you know what they say” you took over for Brian, “first comes the house, then comes marriage…” you trailed off, pulling out your engagement ring and discretely slipping it back onto your finger.

“Alright, and…” John said, clearly confused about what you were implying. None of the boys had noticed your ring yet.

You were spared from having to explain because in a small voice that belonged to the blond drummer, you heard,

“They’re engaged.”

“Yes, yes we are!” Brian exclaimed.

He was positively beaming with delight. You excitedly showed off your ring to the boys as they got up to give you each a hug.

“How wonderful!”

Freddie and John each gave you and Brian tight hugs.

“I always knew you two would end up together,” Freddie dropped his voice so that only you could hear, “I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. Not even when you two were broken up.”

You began to tear up at Freddie’s words, remembering how you and Brian had taken a break for several months due to the strain of Queen’s constant touring. The fact that you and Brian were now engaged only seemed to solidified the fact that you two were meant to be together.

“I think this calls for some celebratory drinks!” Freddie called over his shoulder as he put an upbeat record on.

Meanwhile, John was excitedly pressing Brian about wedding details.

“Oh, I don’t know really, we’ve only been engaged for a little while.” Brian laughed at John’s enthusiasm.

You were about to join in on their conversation when you noticed an absence in the room.

Roger. Where had he gone?

You excused yourself to go to the washroom, instead poking your head into every room in search of the drummer.

—————

After searching most of the main floor, and even the garden, you finally spotted the back of the blond’s head as you passed by the kitchen.

“There you are! I’ve been looking this place up and down for you!”

You gave Roger a wide smile as he turned around, clearly startled by your presence for a second time tonight. But your smile faltered, quickly being replaced by a look of concern as you took in the sight in front of you.

Roger’s eyes were red-rimmed and...wet.

He’d been crying.

“Oh Roger, what’s happened?” You sped over to where he was sitting by the counter, reaching out a hand to place on his shoulder.

He backed away from your touch.

You furrowed your brows, hurt by Roger’s evasion.

He felt awful. You must be upset that he’d run off after your announcement, not even giving a word of congratulations. He was embarrassed that you’d found him alone sulking in a kitchen while everyone else was celebrating. He felt selfish and pathetic.

Most of all, he hated how heartbroken he was over that fact that you were going to marry Brian. The sight of the elegant ring on your hand was enough to make him feel nauseated.

He wanted you to leave so that he could be sulk in peace.

“Roger, please tell me what’s going on,” you pleaded, “we’ve known each other for years. You can tell me anything.”

You hesitantly reached out to touch his arm. This time he let you. He let out a deep sigh as you began to rub comforting circles on his back.

“Roger, it’s alright,” you softened your voice, “you can trust me.”

He felt absolutely pathetic. He had walked out on your and Brian’s engagement announcement only for you to find him crying in Freddie’s kitchen. The reality that you’d never be his coupled with the fact that you were unknowingly comforting him about it was too much for him to handle.

“No, I can’t talk about it with you.” He sighed. “It’s nothing. Really y/n, you should go find the rest of the guys. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Roger ran his hands through his hair, turning away as you tried to hide his face from you again.

You wanted to be understanding, but you were starting to become slightly annoyed, not to mention concerned, by his avoidance of the issue.

“Listen Roger, I don’t want to press you, but it’s clearly not ‘nothing’.” You couldn’t remember ever seeing him so upset. “I know it might be hard to talk about, but I promise you’ll feel better once you’ve gotten it off your chest.”

“You don’t get it, y/n!” His sudden burst caused you to take a step back. “I don’t have an issue talking about it. I just can’t tell you about it!”

He jumped off his stool and began to pace as he tried to collect himself. He didn’t want this to happen. Not here, and not now. This wasn’t how you were supposed to discover his feelings for you.

“Oh…” You were hurt, but not surprised that Roger didn’t want to tell you. You figured he might be more comfortable talking to one of the boys. Maybe you should go and get Brian.

But just as you had the thought of fetching your fiancé, another thought entered your mind.

Roger had been on edge the entire night. In fact, he’d seemed oddly nervous for such a self- assured guy. Not to mention the times you’d caught him staring throughout the night (a common occurrence, now that you thought about it). And then there was the final piece of the puzzle. While Freddie and John had excitedly congratulated you and Brian on your engagement, Roger was nowhere to be found. Instead, he’d been alone in the kitchen. Crying.

You knew it was a long shot, and you didn’t want to make things worse by offending Roger, but you thought you had an inkling about what was upsetting him.

“Is this...is this about me?” you asked hesitantly.

“What?” His tone was panicked as he lifted his face from his hands to meet your eyes. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. This could not be happening.

“I mean, is this about Brian and I? You know...our engagement?”

Roger suddenly looked very pale. Oh fuck...this definitely could not be happening right now.

Tonight was meant to be one of the happiest nights of your and Brian’s lives and he was about to ruin it. As much as his brain was telling him to just shut up and not ruin two perfectly good friendships, he couldn’t quiet the nagging in the back of his mind. It was a faint voice, but it was insistent, and it was begging him to just tell you, because this might be his last chance.

Roger was scared to death, but he knew it was what he had to do. If he didn’t tell you now, he would regret it for the rest of his life. He like he was going to throw up from what he was about to confess. On shaky legs he turned to face you, his face showing a mix of fear and determination.

“It’s ok Roger” you reassured him,

Just say it. He thought to himself.

And he did.

He said the five words that you had subconsciously expected, but they still shocked you all the same.

“I’m in love with you.”

They words left his lips in what was nearly a whisper.

You could see the beginnings of fresh tears that started to gather in his eyes. His gaze left yours and his eyes met the floor as tears began to roll down his cheeks. He went to sit back at the counter, silent sobs racking his body.

You were at a complete loss. You said his name like an exhale and went to sit on the stool next to him. The last thing you wanted was to hurt Roger. He was one of the most important people in your life. But you were utterly floored by his confession.

After a moment of silence, you coaxed his eyes up to meet yours.

“Roger, where is this coming from?”

He looked confused and heartbroken at your question.

“What do you mean ‘where is this coming from’?” He gave you an incredulous look. “Isn’t it obvious?”

You shook your head.

Roger sighed and turned towards the counter, beginning to pick off the red paint that coated the countertop.

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” he said, looking utterly defeated. “...was going to ask you out back in uni but you started dating Bri. I couldn’t mess with that you know…” He was beginning to ramble. “...he’s my best mate, and I love him to death…”

Despite his nerves, Roger felt relief wash over him as he slowly started to confess the secret he’d kept bottled up for years. He was starting to go off on a tangent about the day you two had met in your cellular biology lecture, but you let him continue, afraid that if you stopped him you’d never hear the rest of his confession.

“Part of me thought it wouldn’t last.” He looked down, ashamed at his words. “I was waiting for you two to break up—oh fuck, that makes me sound like a terrible friend!” He scoffed.

His eyes met yours again. The atmosphere in the kitchen suddenly feeling incredibly tense.

“And then you kissed me at that party…”

You let out a shaky breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

Shit.

You’d almost forgotten about that. You thought Roger had too.

Nearly two years ago, you’d shared a New Year’s kiss in your drunken and lonely haze. You and Brian had been taking a break at the time.

“Roger, that wasn’t supposed to mean anything,” you said softly, “it was just a friendly kiss. It didn’t mean anything.”

But just as you said it, you felt an uneasy jolt in your stomach.

Had it really meant nothing at all?

You pushed the thought away.

“But friends don’t kiss friends like that!” Roger threw his hands up in a sudden wave of anger. “Don’t you dare tell me it didn’t mean anything! That you didn’t feel what I felt!”

You didn’t answer him.

Not because what he was saying wasn’t true, but because you didn’t want to break his heart anymore tonight.

You reached a hand up to rub your face, only to find that your cheeks were wet with tears.

“We were drunk,” you said softly.

“I wasn’t,” Roger answered firmly, his jaw taut.

“I’m so sorry Rog.” Fresh tears began to stream down your face. “I just...I can’t. I can’t lead you on like this. I love Brian and I’m going to marry him. Believe me Roger, I’m flattered but—”

You were cut short by the blond’s humourless laugh.

“Flattered! For fuck’s sake, y/n, this isn’t some schoolboy crush! I’m in love with you! Do you even understand what that means?”

You knew you were hurting him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his wide, pleading eyes.

“I would give you anything. Absolutely anything, and everything. You have all of me, if you wanted it.”

He took your hand in his and you felt a sob escape your body. “I have never felt for anyone the way I feel about you.” His voice cracked at the end, full of pent-up emotion.

You were speechless.

Roger’s words may not have been the eloquent ones that made up love poems, but they were honest and raw.

“I love you, y/n,” he whispered, “please, I could make you so happy if you’d let me.”

And with those words you broke, letting out an embarrassingly loud sob.

“Roger, I just can’t,” you cried, “you’re absolutely incredible, and anyone would be lucky to have you. But I’m in love with Brian.”

He let go of your hand, clenching his jaw as he tried to hold back more tears.

“And I’m sorry Roger, but I’m going to marry him. He’s the one.”

Roger’s heart was breaking right in front of you and you wanted nothing more than to reassure him that it wasn’t him, but the circumstances that were making you reject him.

“If things had happened differently Roger, maybe we could have—”

But he cut you off.

“Don’t you dare say it,” he said in a deathly calm voice, “...because if you do, you’re just giving me more hope.”

He gently placed a hand beneath your chin, tilting your face up so that your eyes met. Your breath caught as your teary eyes met his now red-rimmed ones.

“If it really meant nothing, if all of this is just in my head, then look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing for me.”

His eyes were pleading you for an answer.

Your brain felt foggy from the flurry of emotion that surrounded the room. You knew what you had to do. The right thing to do would be to let him down firmly. You wanted to be kind and gentle, but you couldn’t leave him with any doubts surrounding your relationship.

But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything at all.

You knew it was the exact opposite of what you should have done, but you raised your right hand and rested it on his cheek.

Roger let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. His face relaxed into an expression somewhere between heartache and relief.

You had no idea what you were doing. All you knew was that you shouldn’t be going this. But somehow, it just felt right in the moment.

You didn’t have too much time to think about what you would do next.

In an instant you and Roger were startled by the sound of three voices booming down the hall.

You both sprang apart. Roger stood up and busied himself by looking in the fridge while you picked up an old newspaper on the counter, pretending to read.

“Well they couldn’t have left Brian! That would be absolutely ridiculous!”

You could begin to pick up on Freddie’s district voice as the boys nearer the kitchen.

“Ah, there you are!” You heard your fiancé’s warm voice as the three men entered the kitchen.

You quickly dried your eyes and gave Brian your most convincing smile. Always the attentive one, he immediately noticed your puffy eyes.

“What’s wrong love? Have you been crying?” His expression morphed into one of concern. You knew you couldn’t evade Brian’s question. Something had clearly happened.

Freddie and John looked expectantly over Brian’s shoulders.

“Yes, yes I’m fine Bri! I was just getting emotional is all. Reminiscing about old times with Roger, you know.”

It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, alright then love,” Brian’s smile returned to his face. “I was thinking we should get going. It’s getting late and...I want a bit of time with you to myself.”

He whispered the last part in your ear, causing a pleasant shiver to make its way down your spine. Though you felt guilty as your eyes met Roger’s from across the counter.

In spite of Freddie and John’s jovial moods, you were eager to get home, to escape your conversation with Roger.

You felt ashamed for leaving Roger hanging. For inadvertently leading him on with your non-answer. But you needed time to process what had happened tonight and get your emotions in check.

As you and Brian said your goodbyes to the boys, you quietly promised you’d give him a call.

“This conversation isn’t over Rog, there’s still a lot we need to discuss.”

He nodded in agreement. He placed a soft kiss on your cheek.

To the rest of the men in the kitchen it appeared to be nothing more than a friendly peck, but you knew it meant so much more.

You could feel Roger’s longing for you as his lips left your cheek.

Your heart ached at the thought.

And that night, as you lay in the arms of your sleeping fiance you couldn’t fight the intense waves of guilt. Because as you were held by the man to whom you’d given your heart, all you could think about was his best friend.

Thank you so much for reading my first fic ever! If you liked it, or have any feedback, I’d love to know! xx

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