#sarah yap sessions

[phinamina]

i . actually have a playlist for percy 😇 so errrr im gonna like explain why i put certain songs on the playlist like .when i feel like it i suppose

first off, cop car by mitski .

percy is canonically seen as an angry person, and when your angry you usually get mean and percy has said some . pretty mean stuff

water is said to have calmed him down and made him feel safe right? thats what he has lacked in his life . he was always on the run from monsters on quests or even in his home life from who knows what age to 12 because of gabe being there, who has been said to have punched his lights out, which is bound to have made him feel unsafe .

misses riding horses and running fast can be seen as a metaphor for many things, literally anything that you are able to miss . riding horses could be some of the campers that were killed in the war, and running fast can be his childhood.

he wishes he werent a halfblood, pretending to be a normal kid in school and all . if he were to never have been a halfblood, lots of things couldve never happened and he probably wouldnt be so angry because i reckon its probably a trauma response.

he thinks he is cruel when it comes to self defense, hurting others . he is gentle with his loved ones . sarcasm and jokes

mmrph he loved people and they died or smth or he never got to act on it

the past is woven into everything he does, the gods, the events, trauma in general . theres no running from that

throughout all the events, he hasnt died . even when you die in the riordanverse, there is an afterlife where you will ‘live’ so although you are dead, you are still living .

he claimed the great prophecy for himself so that nico and whoever else wouldnt have to deal with it, therefore letting himself burn in it

[bxeckersz]

sarah strong, i love you. i love you, sarah strong.

[aijunbi]

hwon playlist when

im so glad you asked 😼

~

8 letters - why don't we

conversations with saturn - flwr chyld, planet giza

break from toronto - pnd

doi (special ver) - 52hz

falling - chase atlantic

missed call (ft. chancellor) - jiselle

today - citi

chuyen rang - thinh suy

sunset - 92914

toroka - christian kuria

once in a moon - sarah kang

[theetherealbloom]

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

Chapter One: I Know He's Crazy, But He's The One I Want

Summary: After harboring a crush on your dad's charming best friend, Joel Miller, you graduate college only to be confused by something he supposedly said to you, but then he and his daughter Sarah, reluctantly move away due to his work. Six months later, Joel returns to town, and you're desperate to confirm if his words were real. Both you and your dad eagerly await his arrival but for entirely different reasons. As feelings intensify, you realize that falling for him might not be temporary after all.

Pairing: Dbf!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, AGE-GAP Romance, Reader is Early twenties and Joel is in his late 30s to early 40s, Secret Romance, Sneaking around, FLUFF, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, Heavy Make Out Session, Kissing, Barely any plot, Relationship, Swearing, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, Flirting, Flattery, Awkward, Virgin reader, inexperienced reader, slightly Self Deprecating, Suggestive Content,

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: Happy “The Tortured Poets Department” release! I couldn’t help but shriek with joy when I heard But Daddy I Love Him. Literally, dad best friend Joel Miller coded. I would like to thank @wheresarizona for dealing with my spam in her messages from me as I was yapping about the new album and gushing over her writing; she’s literally one of the best writers ever. That is a fact and I will die on that hill.

This fic is heavily inspired by all of the dad's best friend books and dbf!Joel Miller fics I have read over the years. It is with great honor (and a lot of fucking fear) to present to you this Frankenstein of all of my fav tropes!

Heads up, I’m actually dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!

Song: But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift

→ Next Chapter | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

As you walk past the neighboring house, you observe the real estate agent meticulously placing the 'SOLD' banner onto the weathered for sale sign. A strange sense of satisfaction washes over you, knowing that someone has finally purchased the property.

Entering your home, you release a sigh of relief as the familiar comfort washes over you. With a casual toss, your keys and bag find their place on the hallway table. The urge to call out to your dad bubbles up, but it freezes in your throat when you're met with an unexpected sound drifting from his home office.

Your heart quickens as you peek inside, only to find your dad's best friend, Joel Miller, lounging on the plush brown lazy boy. His deep, resonant voice fills the room, sending shivers down your spine even before you lay eyes on him.

Clutching the doorframe for support, you fight to steady your nerves. With trembling fingers, you manage to force a smile onto your lips, though it feels strained. "Hey, Dad. Hey… Joel," you manage to squeak, the mere sound of his name stirring a flurry of emotions within you.

The room feels stiflingly quiet as you wait for a response, the weight of Joel's gaze almost tangible. You swallow hard, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as his intense eyes meet yours. His attention feels almost palpable, his gaze lingering on you in a way that sends a rush of warmth through your body. With a low, almost imperceptible grunt of acknowledgment, Joel's gaze finally breaks away, leaving you breathless in his wake.

You try to avert your gaze out of sheer habit, but it's futile, like trying not to be drawn to the most captivating, exquisite sight in existence.

God, it's as if he's been carved from pure perfection, each time you lay eyes on him.

That same intense, brooding look he wore the day of your college graduation, late last year, still grips you. And it seems Joel's gaze has the same effect on your dad, eliciting a familiar reaction. With a quick double-take, your dad shoots a glance at his best friend before swiveling in his seat.

"Hey there, sweetheart, just catching up with Joel. He dropped by for a surprise visit," your dad starts, but he halts mid-sentence, noticing your undeniable reaction. Concern etches his features as he addresses you. "Honey?" he prompts, his voice laced with worry, as you struggle to find your voice for the umpteenth time in mere seconds.

Joel's gaze narrows, his jaw clenching as his intense scrutiny roams over you, leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

As you cling to the doorframe, you can't help but notice the subtle movement of Joel's prominent Adam's apple, betraying his own unease.

Breaking the tension, your dad's nervous chuckle pierces the silence, attributing my apparent moodiness to your usual banter. He turns back to Joel, commenting on his friend's expression.

"What's going on with you two?" he quips, his tone shifting from light-hearted to serious in an instant. "Feels like there's some dirty secret between you," your dad adds, the jest evaporating from his voice. Yet, Joel remains unfazed by your dad's observation, his gaze still locked onto you as a faint smile curves his lips.

His lips curl into a smirk, accentuating the charming dimple that appears in his slightly scruffy beard whenever he smiles—a sight that never fails to tug at your heartstrings.

But as your dad's suspicion lingers in the air, Joel's demeanor shifts, yet you still struggle to connect the dots regarding why he's been giving you that look since graduation.

That day was meant to mark a pivotal moment in your life, celebrating the culmination of years of hard work in college. Yet, Joel's presence, the way he gazed at you, and the unexpected intensity of his hug during the congratulations... It's forever etched in your memory for reasons beyond the academic achievement.

And at the center of it all is one word: Joel.

He's a towering figure, a mix of solid muscle and the comforting softness of his belly. In the moment, you brushed off his tight embrace after receiving your diploma as merely the enthusiasm of the occasion.

But as you felt his whole body pressing right into yours during that hug, you knew it wasn’t your regular type of embrace.

“I’m so proud of you, darlin’,” he whispered in your ear. And though you didn’t catch his next words as clearly, you're certain he said something else that day. “…You feel so fuckin’ good….”

At least, that's what you've been convincing yourself he said. You recall gazing up into those big brown eyes, the same intense look he's giving you now, and wondering the same thing. How could an older, dangerously attractive man like Joel be even remotely interested in someone like you? Apart from being your dad’s best friend, he's more than twice your age and lives on the other side of the country with his daughter, Sarah.

You can almost picture the scandalized gasps of the single older women and ex-wives in your town, clutching their pearls and whispering, "What a mess," if you and Joel ever got together; if he was even remotely interested in you like that.

But you've replayed that scene in your mind every day since, and no matter how hard you try, there's just no denying your secret crush on him.

It all started long before college, your feelings for Joel simmering beneath the surface. Back then, you couldn't quite grasp what it was you felt for him. All you knew was that it felt right, and that feeling remains unchanged. Despite the nerves and shyness that being around him brings, there's another undeniable effect he has on you.

Like the overwhelming desire to sink back and beg him to indulge in things that his best friend's daughter probably shouldn't be fantasizing about. It's been a while since you last saw Joel, but he still exudes the same charm and looks even more handsome and fit than before, thanks to his job in construction as a contractor.

And when you receive that same look from him today, when your dad even jokes about his suspicions, you know Joel remembers that day too. The intensity in his eyes mirrors the moment he pulled you close, a memory etched as your most cherished moment so far.

"Well, I reckon’ my presence here might come as a bit of a surprise," Joel rasps, his gaze locked with yours as he emits a low chuckle for your dad's benefit. Unnoticed by your dad, Joel shoots you a sly wink, and you watch as your dad's tension melts away. He's relieved to know he wasn't imagining things, and undoubtedly thrilled once he hears Joel's news. "I'm moving here, right next door with Sarah. Tommy should be dropping her off here tomorrow," he announces with enthusiasm, but you feel the pit of your stomach drop.

Joel... here? For good? Oh, fuck.

Your dad erupts into loud whoops, raising both hands in the air. "It's about time, buddy! I knew you were keeping something from me," he adds, turning to you once again. "You were aware of this?" he asks, furrowing his brow with a hint of confusion. 

"You knew Joel and Sarah were coming to town, didn’t you?" Dad repeats, finally grinning like a child at the news. Smiling like a dad who's pushed aside any notion of his best friend showing interest in his only daughter. And you catch a sly grin on Joel’s face as he comes to your rescue. "Oh, I mentioned I might pay a visit. Buttercup here wasn't aware of the specifics or that Sarah and I would be relocatin’ back here," he explains to your dad.

But when Joel smoothly fibs to your dad, insinuating that you were aware of his impending move back to town, even though it caught you completely off guard, he seals an instant and secret pact between the two of you with a single glance. His deep brown eyes wink at you, sending a thrilling shiver down your spine. You realize you're in deeper trouble than you initially thought. And strangely enough, it's the kind of trouble you welcome with open arms.

In that fleeting moment, a silent understanding passes between you and Joel. With just a wink from him, your chest flutters with excitement, and a wave of anticipation rushes through you, leaving you feeling unexpectedly aroused at the prospect of having him nearby all the time. You're fully committed now, Joel's lie to his best friend serving as a shield for both of you, deflecting attention away from the undeniable tension between you.

"Sarah called last week," you fabricate, deciding to play along with Joel's deception. "As we were chatting, Joel mentioned something about visiting. It must've slipped my mind to mention it to you," you explain to your dad, hoping he'll buy into the white lie. Joel's low growl of contentment as he leans back, causing the leather chair to creak, reassures you that he approves of your little ruse.

Your dad's elation at the news of his best friend's return to their quaint little town is palpable, enough to overshadow any scolding he might have had for your omission about Sarah and Joel's supposed call.

But the truth remains: Sarah never called, and Joel's mysterious behavior is raising more questions than answers.

A surprise visit is one thing, but the intensity of Joel's gaze? The way he makes you feel? It's enough to give your long-standing crush on him a serious run for its money.

"But damn, Sarah will be here tomorrow?" your dad groans before chuckling. "A bit more notice would've been nice, but hell, it'll be good to see you, buddy."

"Listen, I've got something I can't postpone tomorrow. Maybe my daughter here could accompany you to pick up Sarah from the airport?" your dad suggests, turning his attention towards you.

Somewhere behind you, a strange sound escapes—it's you, emitting a sort of mewling noise that you know Joel catches, his smile widening in response.

"Sounds perfect," he agrees before you even have a chance to process it.

"Sweetie?" your dad asks, his tone sheepish now that he's volunteered you without asking if you were available.

You can only watch as the room seems to spin around you, nodding in agreement. "Yeah... sure, I don't have any tutoring sessions tomorrow."

"Perfect!" your dad sighs with relief, promising Joel they'll catch up later. "But I really need to get back to the shop. Are you alright here with her to help you settle into your new house with whatever you brought? The rest of your stuff hasn't arrived yet."

"Yeah, we'll be just fine," Joel assures in his trademark baritone, locking eyes with you.

You were so fixated on Joel's presence that you hadn't noticed the bags by the side of the home office.

"Sweetie? You sure you're okay to help? You look kind of..." your dad starts, but you take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself before replying, "Yeah, I'll be fine. We'll be fine. I can help."

"Alright then," your dad grabs his car keys, ready to leave the home office. He gives you both a final glance, kissing the top of your head. "I'll be back for dinner. Have fun, you two!"

You and Joel remain frozen in place, him on one side of the room and you by the doorway, both listening to your dad's fading footsteps and the rumble of his truck as he drives away.

You’re so fucked.

It's been six long months since you last saw each other, and for Joel, it's felt like an eternity. The day of your graduation marked the first time he laid eyes on you in over three years, and it was as if he was seeing you for the very first time.

You've grown into a remarkable adult, and Joel couldn't help but feel the overwhelming need to be there, not only for his buddy, your dad, but also for his sweet Buttercup. Witnessing his little girl all grown up and ready to embark on her journey into the world with her diploma was a moment he'll never forget. He'd never seen his best friend prouder, yet his gaze lingered on you for entirely different reasons.

Reasons and desires that had never crossed Joel's mind until that day. He couldn't resist pulling you close, feeling the warmth of your body pressed against his.

What was he thinking? Surely, everyone could see the effect you had on him.

But Joel wasn't thinking, he was acting on instinct. He was claiming what he knew belonged to him. Telling you he was proud of you was one thing, but he's still unsure if you heard what else he said about how good you felt in his arms.

Yet, he doesn't regret it. Because it was true then, and it remains true now. He just wishes he knew if you felt the same way. If you felt it in the same way he did. But how could you possibly feel the same way about him as he has about you these past six months?

Joel couldn't deny that there were many reasons why the relationship between you was complicated. For one, there was the age difference - you were more than half his age. Apart from having the kind of body he could grip, suck and fuck for a lifetime, additionally, you were his best friend's daughter, a bond that ran deep and could not be ignored.

That day, Joel took a risk, blurring the lines and potentially jeopardizing not just his friendship with your dad, but also the bond he shared with you by being so affectionate.

Surprisingly, you didn't seem to mind his gestures, and Joel was convinced that your dad hadn't even noticed. Despite the undeniable attraction he felt towards you, a feeling that lingered and intensified with every thought of you, Joel couldn't shake the worry that his actions might have caused a rift.

As days turned into weeks without any word from your dad, Joel's mind raced with doubts. He couldn't help but question if you had confided in your father about his behavior. Perhaps your dad had sensed Joel's infatuation with you, leading to a silence that spoke volumes.

Intrusive thoughts plagued Joel, wondering if you had been uncomfortable with his displays of affection. The fear that you might have someone else in your life to hold onto gnawed at him, leaving him restless and anxious about the potential consequences of his actions.

Joel and your dad used to share conversations daily, a bond that time and life's demands have gradually weakened, particularly with Sarah still navigating middle school. They both acknowledge the need to reconnect more often, yet something always seems to intervene.

But Joel's decision to visit your father in person wasn't impulsive; it was a deliberate choice, driven by a desire to stay for good this time.

No more fleeting visits. This time, it's permanent.

And it's all because of you.

Since your graduation day, you've occupied Joel's thoughts relentlessly. It's more than just an obsession; you're the sole focus of his mind, consuming his every waking moment.

You are the only thing he can fucking think about.

Joel would never dare voice his thoughts to your dad, not just because of his feelings, but also because your father had a history of using his fists to settle matters. If he even suspected a fraction of what Joel's mind was consumed with regarding his daughter... Well, Joel would never be allowed in your home, with your dad likely ensuring Joel carried a permanent reminder of his displeasure.

Despite his reluctance to keep secrets from his lifelong friend, Joel's motivation to act stems from a burning need that is beyond his mere desire to reunite with you.

He doesn't just want to see you again; he craves it with a fervor that borders on desperation. And the only way to satisfy this yearning is to summon the courage to ask for more.

Reconnecting with your dad was pleasant, but the sight of you, standing in the doorway of the home office, unleashes a torrent of emotions within Joel. It's as though he's been trapped in a deep freeze for the past six months, and your mere presence ignites a firestorm within him.

Every curve of your silhouette, every strand of hair framing your face, fuels Joel's desire until it simmers beyond control, all for you.

As you watched him, his gaze never wavered from your presence, taking in the way your chest rose and fell with each breath. He was grateful for the chair that supported him, as he felt the insanely hard erection you gave him.

Your natural grace and beauty had left him breathless, and he struggled to maintain his composure.

All from just being yourself. All without you even trying to do anything. 

You really are just fucking perfect in every way.

You're now an adult, poised to embrace all the challenges and pleasures that adulthood entails. The mere thought sends a shiver of anticipation coursing through you once more, evoking memories of his touch on that unforgettable graduation day.

The intoxicating blend of his woodsy cologne, the creak of his well-worn leather jacket, and the soft fabric of his grey tee shirt against your skin linger in your mind, igniting a longing for more.

The sensation that floods Joel as he lays eyes on you in person after so long defies description.

It takes all his willpower to resist the impulse to stride over and scoop you up, succumbing to the overwhelming desire to claim you as his own and to drag you into your bedroom. But he restrains himself, clinging to the last shreds of his resolve, waiting for any sign from you that you're ready for his embrace.

When your gaze meets his, he witnesses the hitch in your breath, and he can't help but murmur, "Come here, sweetheart." Your response is like a magnetic pull, drawing you into his strong, steadfast arms. As you melt into his embrace, he's struck by the sense of finally being home. You are his home now.

Joel inhales the sweet fragrance of your hair, longing to whisper countless sentiments into your perfect little ear nestled so close to his mouth.

But all he can muster, without risking scaring you away, is a simple declaration in his southern drawl, "I missed you, my little buttercup."

You bury your face into his checkered flannel, your words muffled against his shirt as you confess, "I missed you too, Joel."

Your body instinctively gravitates towards his, fueled by both necessity and reflex. The memory of his last embrace has haunted your thoughts for the past six months, and as his massive, comforting arms envelop you once more, it feels as though you're picking up right where you left off. He feels even better than you remembered, and the mingling scents of his cologne and freshly laundered clothes stir a desire within you to cling to him forever.

Reluctantly, he releases you from the hug, clearing his throat as you take a small step back, managing to squeak out, “Do you want a cup of coffee before you get settled in your new house? You look kinda tired.”

“Sure,” Joel nods, and you sense him hovering behind you as you descend the staircase and enter the kitchen. You can feel his eyes tracing your movements from behind.

You busy yourself preparing the coffee as Joel sets his things down, knowing it'll provide the perfect opportunity to sit down and have a proper conversation.

As Joel takes a seat at the table, his gaze remains fixed on your curves as you move around the kitchen. In that moment, he realizes there's no way he can stay in this house for more than an hour, without confessing his feelings to you.

“You got a boyfriend?”

The sudden question nearly causes you to spill hot water all over your hand, and you freeze, feeling a slight tremble coursing through you.

“Well?” Joel's deep voice sends shivers down your spine, as if you're caught in the midst of the most exhilarating earthquake imaginable. Your mouth hangs open, unsure of how to respond.

“Boyfriend or not?” he repeats, his tone commanding. “Not,” you answer instantly, not minding the question one bit, especially when you see its effect on Joel.

“Good. Perfect,” he rumbles in a low tone.

Turning back to the kitchen counter, the clinking of ceramic cups fills the room, your cheeks burning with embarrassment as the heat spreads throughout your body and to the tips of your ears.

“Cream and sugar?” you ask, turning your head just long enough to inquire.

The sight of your body shifting under your clothes already ignites fantasies in Joel's mind, imagining all the ways he could pleasure you, even right there on your dad's kitchen floor if you desired.

“Joel?” you prompt, breaking him out of his daydream.

“Uh… Sure. Cream and sugar,” he echoes, noticing your continued blush and slight trembling as you prepare the cups. As you approach him with the coffee, the sudden sound of your dad's voice startles you, causing you to drop one cup, which shatters on the floor.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" he asks, concern etched on his face as he rushes to the sink to run cold water over the affected area.

"I'm fine, Dad. Really," you reply, trying to hide your embarrassment.

"I thought you were gone," you add, unable to keep the annoyance out of your voice.

"I just forgot something. I came back to get it," your father explains, his eyes darting nervously between you and Joel.

Your father's gaze is fixed on Joel, his eyes narrowing as he takes in Joel's obvious concern for you. Anyone could see the way Joel feels about you, and your father's disapproval is palpable.

But you're not a child anymore, and you're tired of your father's disapproval. "Dad, I'm fine. You just startled me, that's all. Why do you always have to sneak up on me like that?" you ask, trying to keep the anger out of your voice.

Joel opens his mouth to speak, but the words don't come. He sighs and shakes his head, gathering the pieces of the broken cup and tossing them in the trash on his way out. The sound of his car speeding away speaks volumes.

"Maybe I should go," Joel suggests, but you wave off his concern.

"Don't worry about my dad. He's been weird ever since I graduated from college," you say, dismissing his concerns.

But Joel knows that your father's suspicions go back further than just this morning. He moves to help you clean up the mess on the floor, ignoring the broken glass and coffee spill. Gently, he takes your hand in his, wincing at the stinging and burn.

"Let's get this under some cold water," he says, leading you to the sink. You lean back against him as he guides your hand under the icy flow, your body yielding to his touch.

"Feel better?" he asks, his voice low and soothing. You nod, leaning into him as the cold water soothes your burn.

Joel's heart races as he holds you, feeling your warmth against him. He knows that your father doesn't approve of him, but he can't help how he feels. He's fallen for you, hard, and he's not going to let your father's disapproval get in the way.

"It feels better now," you whisper, your breath sending shivers down Joel's spine. He moves closer to you, feeling the pressure of your back against his aching cock.

"I can't help but notice how your body is responding to mine," Joel says, his voice low and husky.

"Should we start over?" he asks, leaning down so his mouth is close to your ear.

"You mean with the coffee?" you ask, playing coy. But your body is telling a different story.

"I mean starting over without your dad around," Joel clarifies, moving his hand to stroke the back of your neck.

You turn to face him, looking up into his deep brown eyes. "Just stay," you say, biting your lip.

Joel nods, his hands resting on your hips. "I'm not going anywhere, darlin'," he promises. "I'll be right next door, whenever you need me."

You stand there, close enough to kiss, but Joel holds back. He wants to savor this moment, to make it last.

"I meant what I said that day you graduated," Joel whispers, his lips brushing against your ear. "You feel so fucking good."

His words send a jolt of electricity through your body. You feel his arousal pressing against your back, and he grips your hips, pulling you closer.

You plead with Joel to stay, not just because of how the morning has unfolded but because deep down, you need him by your side.

The words you long to say to Joel linger on the tip of your tongue, but the rush of emotions leaves you speechless. Your heart races as you grapple with the intensity of your feelings, unsure of how to express them.

As you run your hand under the cold water, trying to steady your nerves, you suggest preparing the spare room as a distraction. Anything to divert your thoughts and feelings that are swirling inside you.

The tension between you and Joel crackles in the air, the unspoken desire palpable. His longing mirrors your own, creating a charged atmosphere that leaves you both on edge.

"Is your hand goin' to be okay?" Joel's voice is laced with concern as he looks at you, and you nod in response.

"It's just a minor burn from the coffee," you murmur, trying to focus on the task.

"Shall I make us more coffee?" Joel offers, already cleaning up the mess on the floor. But your attention is drawn to the undeniable presence pressing against your back, sending a rush of sensations through you.

Your heart races as you realize the extent of Joel's desire, his arousal evident in every inch of his being.

"I'm not tired," Joel says, his voice low and intimate as he picks up the broken pieces of the mug.

"And I meant what I said earlier," he adds, his tone dropping to a husky whisper that sends shivers down your spine.

The intensity of the moment overwhelms you, making it hard to focus on anything else. You should feel embarrassed, and remind him of boundaries, but the magnetic pull between you is undeniable.

"What did you mean?" you ask, a hint of defiance in your voice, craving his words like a drug.

His lips curl into a knowing smile as he repeats his earlier statement, his gaze lingering on you suggestively.

"You feel so good," Joel says, his words sending a surge of heat through you, your cheeks flushing with desire.

"Is that why you came back?" you inquire, emboldened by the charged atmosphere between you.

"What do you think?" Joel replies, closing the distance between you, the space crackling with unspoken promises and desires.

You feel trapped, torn between your desires and the weight of your past.

Your hands tremble as you press them against Joel's chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. You slide your fingers down, curling around a button on his flannel shirt.

"My dad, for Sarah," you croak, your voice barely above a whisper. Joel takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling beneath your touch.

"I didn't come back to town just to see your dad," he says, his voice low and steady. "But I don't want to make you uncomfortable either."

He pauses, taking another deep breath before he continues. "What I mean is, what I'm tryin��� to ask you, is could you have feelings for an older man? A man like me, maybe?"

His eyes bore into yours, a half-smile playing at the corners of his lips. You know what he's asking, and your heart races at the thought of giving in to your desires.

"I want to hear it from your lips," he says, his voice a low growl that sends shivers down your spine.

You take a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. "I like you a lot, Joel," you stammer, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel pauses, his eyes never leaving yours. "But?" he prompts, giving you an out if you need it.

You look up at Joel, your eyes pleading with him to make the decision for you. But there's no hesitation in his gaze. He leans in, pressing his warm lips against your hand, and you feel a jolt of electricity shoot through your body.

"Does it feel like this?" he asks, his voice low and husky. You nod, unable to find the words to describe the heat that's building inside you.

"Do you really want me, darlin'?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. You moan, unable to contain your desire any longer.

"Yes," you gasp, your voice barely audible. "Yes, I want you."

Joel growls, a low, primal sound that sends shivers down your spine. He presses your hand against his stiff erection, and you can feel the heat and hardness of him through his jeans.

You trace the outline of his cock with your fingers, forgetting all about the burn on your hand, the hot coffee, and even your dad and his house. All that matters is the feel of Joel's body against yours, the heat and hardness of him that you've longed for since graduation day.

"Then come here," he growls, leaning down further and taking your face in his palm. You shudder one last breath of uncertainty before the warmth of his mouth over yours means neither of you will ever have to ask that question again.

Joel's lips are soft and tender, but his kiss is urgent and demanding. You feel yourself melting into him, your body responding to his touch with a hunger you've never felt before.

His hands roam your body, exploring every curve and contour, as if he's been waiting for this moment for years. You respond in kind, your hands tugging at his flannel shirt, desperate to feel his skin against yours.

The heat between you builds, until you're both panting and gasping for breath. Joel's hands slip beneath your shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin that make you dizzy with desire.

Joel can't help himself as he lifts you up and sets you down on the kitchen counter, your legs wrapped around him as he devours your mouth with his own. His hands roam your body, feeling the curves and contours of your figure as if for the first time.

You respond eagerly, your hands tangled in his hair as you deepen the kiss. Joel's touch sends waves of pleasure through your body, and you can feel yourself growing wet with desire.

Joel's hands slip beneath your shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin that make you gasp with pleasure. You arch your back, pressing yourself against him as you feel his hardness against your thigh.

He makes you purr and moan, fulfilling every fantasy you've ever had. Your hands move down to his throbbing cock, gripping and squeezing him through his denim, but you both know this is just the beginning.

Joel has already crossed the line he set for himself, unable to resist the pull between you. He wants more than just a physical connection; he wants all of you, your heart, your soul, your everything.

He envisions a future with you, a life where you're by his side, where you're free to be yourself, to indulge in every desire and dream. He wants to give you a home, a place where you can be truly happy, where the two of you can explore each other endlessly.

As you catch your breath, Joel eases his hold on you, sensing the need for a moment of clarity. Your smile and the flush in your cheeks speak volumes, reassuring him that you're on the same page.

"Holy shit," you exclaim, breathless and exhilarated. Your hands rest on his chest, feeling the strength and warmth of him beneath your touch.

Joel exhales slowly, realizing he may have moved too quickly for you. "Too much, darlin'?" he asks with a chuckle, relieved when you giggle and nod in agreement.

But he sees the worry in your eyes, the need for understanding and space. You grip his flannel, pulling him close for a quick kiss, your words a mix of desire and uncertainty.

"I want this... I want you, Joel. I do," you confess, your voice filled with longing and hesitation.

"Just... not right now, not like this," you trail off, and Joel finishes your sentence, understanding the need for time and space to process everything.

He lifts you off the counter, noting how light you feel in his arms. He watches you pace the kitchen, a mix of emotions playing across your face. He settles on a stool, giving you the space you need to sort through your thoughts.

"I didn't think you were leading me on, and I didn't mean to be so forward," Joel says, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Take your time, process everythin’ darlin’.”

Joel's phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he knows it's your father. He takes a deep breath and answers the call, trying to sound casual. You've stopped pacing but still look dazed, as if you're trying to process what just happened between us.

"Hey, man," Joel greets, hearing your father's voice from his car, still on his way to the office.

"Joel, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I guess I'm the one who needs a nap, but I can't afford the time right now," he says, sounding sincere.

Your father has always been honest and upfront, and Joel feels a mix of pride and guilt as he listens to his apology. He knows that your dad will be upset once he finds out about the two of you, but until then, Joel thinks it's best to keep your secret a little longer.

"You don't have to apologize, buddy," Joel says, trying to reassure him. "When do you finish work today?" he asks, already thinking about the time they have left alone together.

More time to take things slow? Joel isn't sure. He wants to savor every moment with you, but he also can't wait to explore every inch of your body.

As your father continues to talk, Joel watches you, his mind filled with thoughts of the two of you together. He knows that things will get complicated soon, but for now, he's happy to be in your presence, to feel your warmth and energy.

"Yeah, I'll see you then," Joel says, ending the call and turning to you. "Are you okay?" he asks, taking a step closer to you.

You nod, still looking dazed, and Joel wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. He knows that the two of you have a lot to talk about, but for now, he's content to hold you, to feel your heart beating against his chest.

The future may be uncertain, but Joel knows one thing for sure - he's never felt this way about anyone before, and he's not about to let you go.

As Joel holds you close, your head resting on his chest, you finally voice the question that's been lingering between you.

"I guess we can't do this sort of thing around my Dad, huh?" you ask, your voice soft against his skin.

Joel strokes your hair gently, his heart full of emotions he never thought he'd feel again. He marvels at how easily and perfectly this moment has unfolded, how right it feels to have you in his arms.

"We probably shouldn't, not yet," Joel replies, his voice tinged with longing. He feels you nod in agreement, and he knows that keeping this secret will be a challenge.

Joel had left town to escape the past, to build a new future for himself and his daughter Sarah. But now, as he returns to the place where it all began, he realizes that his future is intertwined with yours.

He sees a future with you, a life filled with love and possibility. He dreams of a family with you, of building something lasting and meaningful together.

As he holds you in his arms, feeling the warmth of your body against his, Joel knows that this is just the beginning. 

As you and Joel waste no time getting settled in the new house, the air crackles with anticipation. Joel turns the key in the door, and as you step inside, the world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of desire.

Without a word, you set down his bag, and Joel takes your hand, pulling you close. He lifts you effortlessly, spinning you around in a dizzying whirl of passion and need.

The lock clicks shut, sealing you both in a world of raw desire and longing. The house feels like a sanctuary, a place where only you and Joel exist, at least for the next hour or so.

"Aren't you gonna show me around first? I had no idea the inside was so nice," you giggle, your head spinning from the intensity of his touch and the day's events.

"I thought you might like to show me around... your sweet fuckin’ body," Joel rasps in your ear before claiming your lips in a fierce, possessive kiss. Each touch, each kiss, ignites a fire within you, driving you to the edge of reason.

"You tell me if it gets too much, alright darlin'?" Joel murmurs between kisses, his strong arms wrapped around you. You nod eagerly, your body craving his touch, his presence.

With your legs wrapped around his waist, you gravitate towards the nearest soft surface, a luxurious leather sofa in the living room. Joel stops in front of it, but you're consumed by the need for him, the hunger for his touch.

You try to nod, talk, and kiss him all at once, but the overwhelming desire he stirs in you leaves you breathless and unable to form coherent words. "Yeah... fuck... yes, I will," you pant, your body arching into his touch as he explores every inch of you.

Joel lowers you onto the couch, his eyes fixed on you with a hunger that matches your own. He drops to his knees in front of you, parting your legs with a firm grip, his gaze locked on your body with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine.

“I’m gonna eat your little pussy, make you come until you beg me to stop,” he says in a firm tone.

His hands move with purpose, his touch igniting a fire within you that threatens to consume you. You gasp and groan as he explores every inch of you, his fingers and tongue setting your body ablaze with pleasure.

As he delves deeper, his mouth and hands working in perfect harmony, you feel a wave of pleasure building within you, each touch pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

You writhe and moan under his touch, your body responding to his every move with a hunger that matches his own. The room fills with the sounds of your pleasure, the air thick with desire and need.

His elbows prop your knees wide, and half-reclined on the worn leather, you can't help but feel a thrill at the sensations coursing through your body.

The scent of old leather and his cologne mingles with the musk of your arousal, creating a heady mix that only heightens your desire. You're ready for Joel, and you know it won't take long for him to bring you to the edge.

With a rough yank, he tears your panties aside, the sound of fabric rending adding to your arousal. You never knew you could feel this horny, and every moment with Joel only intensifies your desire.

He takes a moment to admire your slick folds, his thick fingers gently parting your lips. You grip his silver-flecked curls tighter as he moves down to taste you, your body trembling with anticipation.

Your moans fill the room, mingling with Joel's deep groans of pleasure. His tongue finds its mark, and you can't help but cry out, your body writhing under his touch.

Joel's mouth covers you completely, his tongue replacing his fingers as he explores every inch of your sex. You're on the brink of climax, your body trembling with need.

"Be patient, darlin'," Joel whispers hoarsely, his voice filled with desire. He grips your thighs, pushing them wider apart until his massive head is pressed between them.

You shift your grip to his broad shoulders, your breath coming in ragged gasps as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

"Joel... Joel," you moan, trying to tell him how close you are, how much you want him. But all that comes out are animalistic sounds of pleasure.

Joel's body quakes with silent laughter, his voice deep and reassuring as he promises you can come all night. You trace the outline of his jaw, your body trembling with need as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

If heaven exists, you're sure you've found it in Joel's arms.

AN: I'm such a fool to think that this would be a one-shot... ya'll this is now a mini-series. Don't worry... this will be a two to three-chapter kinda series. 🤍

[hittmeandtellmeyouremine]

𝙥𝙖𝙬𝙨 𝙤𝙛𝙛!

pairing: boyfriend!jj x reader

warnings: swearing, suggestive content.

word count: 600+ words

summary: jj can't keep his hands to himself, ever. that all just heightens when he sees you in a new bikini.

a/n: based on a dream i had. it was definitely more smutty but i lost interest in finishing it. this has been sitting in my drafts for monthsssss

-

the guys had opted to leave a bit earlier than all the girls, trying to catch the swell. quite frankly, you weren't much of a surfer. you could care less about the waves or whatever. well, unless it came to watching jj do it, you would happily watch your boyfriend's smile light up when he was able to make a wave he barely had a chance of completing.

you didn't know how to surf, nor did you care to. it wasn't like there wasn't opportunities to learn. jj had offered, kiara had offered, john b had offered, sarah, pope— you get the point. the answer was always no. you had no interest, wasn't your thing.

so when your boyfriend came in, scratching the back of the head nervously as he told you he would be departing earlier, you simply shrugged and told him to go ahead. jj had kissed you goodbye about an hour and a half ago, mumbling something about shredding something before he disappeared.

the girls offered to stay behind with, kiara half asleep, sarah wanting to get ready with you, and cleo helping. you sat on the floor in front of your bed while cleo braided a braid on each side of your head, adding in shells. kiara laid in bed, talking about how hatch season was starting and sarah did her makeup in front of your mirror.

at some point during your yap session you and sarah switched positions and the conversation had migrated onto the topic of boys. kiara had pointed out sarah and john b's excessive screwing, making you giggle as you slipped into the new bikini you had gotten.

kiara drove you girls down to the beach, the four of you singing along to the song you had put on. the minute you stepped out of the car you were engulfed in a bear hug by your boyfriend.

"there's my girl" he smiled, blonde hair drenched from the ocean.

"woah there tiger!" you giggled as he picked you up off your feet and spun you around.

when he finally set you down his eyes set his eyes ran over you in all your glory.

"when'd you get this?" he asked, taking the strap of your bikini between his finger tips.

he was used to your one pieces, your cute tankinis. you rarely ever wore bikinis like this. he realized why.

your boobs looked amazing. they usually did but especially in this triangle bikini. your cleavage pooled out of either side of each triangle. your tanned skinned contrasted perfectly against the baby pink material, white flowers plaguing the set.

he was in awe and it was just the top, he couldn't even see the bottom because of skirt you had on. he didn't need to see it though, he knew your ass looked just as good. though, your ass wasn't what he was worried about in this moment.

"i ordered it a couple weeks ago, sarah had mentioned the brand to me. i forgot all about it" you answered

he mentally reminded himself to thank sarah later.

"i like it, it looks good on you" he said, tongue running over his bottom lip. his hand made its way down from the strap of your top to the triangle itself.

"yeah i know right, it's so cute"

cute wasn't the word he would use.

"hey, paws off! can you stop fondling my girlfriend? i need her to put sunscreen on me" sarah called, making him stop in his tracks and shoot her a dirty look.

"i think you mean my girlfriend, sarah" he corrected.

"nope, i had her first." sarah called, walking over and grabbing your hand.

you giggled, mouthing a "sorry" to him.

"i'm coming" you dragged out as she dragged you away.

"you sure will be later" he mumbled to himself, following behind.

-

[8-rae-rae-8]

So

A Perfect Circle

I am desperately in need to hear your thoughts on Judith, because it's SO BEAR as the addressee of the lyrics

Also, Thomas as his attempts to keep his faith, wdyt

DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. Gonna be a LONG post. Bear with me, pun intended

Okay I have Judith on both of their playlists for almost completely different reasons. I'll get to Thomas once I'm finished with my extensive yap session on Judith

Talking about Alex AND Bear because I have thoughts about Judith for both of them first

For Alex, I was thinking more something along the lines of the way he idolized Rip, and the way he thought of his mother.

See, I'm not immune to giving characters strained relationships with religion (growing up Catholic and Christian would do that to you). And though you see Alex doesn't have any bad blood with religion in the times Bear mentions his faith outside of him saying he essentially doesn't believe in it, I like to think he grew up in a passively religious household. With a mother who tried to tell him that prayer would fix things, despite it never doing anything. It always became some kind of excuse or a reason Alex wasn't allowed to do something because 'god wouldn't have wanted him to'/'what would god think about that?'. And, of course, Alex never believed in any of that. It only made him angry especially as a teenager when his mother would say over and over that they just didn't pray enough, or go to church enough, and that's why god never helped them.

But, ALSO, on the same page with Alex's mother...

These lyrics:

"You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never, ever choose to be"

That specifically is what started me thinking about him and his mother, because it's mentioned that in that one interview (though we don't know to what extremes) she abused him. Growing up with that, framing everything he knew as a kid, taking away small things while having him tip-toe around in fear of a reaction or punishment.

But there's also the way abusers will treat themselves as all holy and above their victim. Kids need their parents, and if their needs aren't met and they're neglected, their minds fill it in with how it must be their own fault they aren't loved—while begging for a parent to see them. So...

"How you're savior has abandoned you"

"Praise the one who left you broken down and paralyzed, He did it all for you"

And then something a little similar for the way I think about it with Alex and Rip

The betrayal of seeing Rip get lost to addiction and then him killing that kid, when Alex saw him as something far more than just a leader. That all crumbling down the more he watches Rip get exceedingly more lost, more angry and hateful.

"oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior has abandoned you"

But there's that voice reminding him how much Rip sacrificed for him, for the team.

"He did it all for you"

Also, dare I say...

"He did it all for you" but it's Bear saving Alex's life over and over

Okay now to Bear because I have MANY feelings about it and it'll probably be far less coherent

I adore his writing throughout the show SO goddamn much. Questioning everything so much and being so sure he's let down a god he's starting to lose faith in. GOD it's so good.

But actually onto the song bit before I get off track too much

Obviously we're gonna start with the beginning

"oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior has abandoned you"

Sarah's death, failure to give Lena the kid she wanted, Rip being kidnapped, Buckley dying, being unable to generally protect his team, Alex's TBI, Lena's death. The list, I swear, it just keeps going. He has never had a day of peace in his life. He can pray as much as he wants, go to church, go to confession, but it never made a difference, did it? Death follows him, he kills everything he loves.

"fuck your god, your lord, your christ (he did this)"

The anger of never being helped and saved the way he prayed over and over. The hatred for the way he can do everything right, and it still always falls through. Someone gets hurt, he loses another piece of him.

"took all you had, and (left you this way). Still you pray, never stray, never (never taste of the fruit)"

No matter how much he gives, how many times his knees hit the kneelers in the pews of the church, how many times he dares to sit in the dark booth of the confessional, no sins he's ever repented for ever made anything better. And yet, he still goes back and tries over and over without ever getting the relief of his god giving him what he's been praying for. He remains faithful, even as it all comes crashing around him, he kneels in the rubble because if he prayed enough, he could still be saved—though maybe his sins are too heavy now.

"even though he's the one who did this to you, never thought to question why"

In a way, I think some of Alex's questioning and influence rubbed off on him in his vulnerable, confused state with how many times he told Bear to "let the universe do its thing". Making him truly think about the fact that his faith has gotten him nowhere but further inside his head.

"Not like you killed someone, it's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side. Talk to Jesus Christ as if he knows the reasons why, he did it all for you."

Bear trying to reason why his prayers were never answered when others got theirs. He confessed, he repented, he went to church, he did everything right. No matter how much he prays, he never gets an answer.

Bear is so helpless I love him. I love hurting him. I love reading into him. ANYWAY

Now onto Thomas...

"humble and helpless, learning to pray, praying for visions to show me the way"

After losing so much, being unable to find his own way back to both himself and the church, Bear feels like he has to start all over again just to get back to the way he felt about his faith before all this. It used to feel so correct on him, back when he hadn't done anything wrong yet. He needs something to guide him back when he can't enter those doors by himself yet—he doesn't want to

"Allow me to be forgiven, show me the way to let go, show me the way to forgive you"

His anger and guilt always makes itself front and center when he tries to get on his knees and pray the way he was taught. He can't let go and forgive himself, but he can't forgive his god either. It's not something he can do by himself, after the horrible things he's done, all the blood on his hands never washes away and leaves him stained.

"I'm just praying for you to show me where I'm to begin"

Getting silence after begging and pleading for there to be any sign to show him his way back, trying over and over because that's all he's ever been able to fall back on. A god he can't see, a religion he's losing faith in. He can't begin again, and there's no one to guide him back anymore

He needs it, more than anything. Going to talk with his priest, trying to find an answer for the bad things that happened because of him. Using his questions to try to reach out and get a grasp on any remainder of the god he's been pulling away from for too long.

There's nowhere else to go. The hand he reaches out never meets anything, despite his prayers and cries, there's no one on the other side hearing him.

"Hoping to... (hoping to), help me to reconnect to you"

But he still tries, he goes back and sits at the very back in the pews, with his head down and his rosary in his hands. Following along with mass, muttering everything back as prompted. He needs to find his way back, even though he can't grab anything when he reaches out anymore, it feels like his pleas go out to an empty room and only he can hear them echo back to him.

If he keeps trying, if he begs enough, someone would hear his prayers and he'd be back where he was before—content in his faith

Honestly I didn't read like most of this back so there's probably errors in there but WOO I am feeling SILLY

[wintersoulwitch]

i'd honestly loveee to hear you yap more about the film you wrote for the 48hr film thing (only stuff you're comfortable w/ sharing ofc)!!!!

Okayyyy I didn’t want to go on and on about it, but seeing as both you and @yonderghostshistories have asked for more plot details then fuck it, here's an illustrated breakdown with some director's commentary 😁

We start with some kind of broken down desolate post apocalyptic industrial complex. (Actually an abandoned airbase a few miles out of Newcastle). A portal appears - because it’s sci fi! And because the DoP said she could animate portals during our initial brainstorming sessions so I was like: Right, we’re using that!

Our two leads emerge from the portal… Dawn is a badass action hero type. Chris is the anxious tech nerd. They both wear leather jackets, because post-apocalypse. Chris fiddles with a handheld Device - a sci fi tech prop we made by hotgluing a lighting gel frame to a broken camera remote - and announces that the cameras have been disabled, which gives them 5 minutes to find the server room and set off the self-destruct sequence. 

"I was also at that briefing, thank you," sneers Dawn. We’ve got exposition, characterisation and interpersonal dynamics within the first 30 seconds, fuck yeah efficient storytelling! 

The two of them continue on their way. Chris has the feeling that they’re being watched. Dawn dismisses her as just being paranoid. 

But then! Evil henchman dude appears and tries to steal The Device from Chris. This bit didn't turn out so good for a couple of reasons that really all boil down to not having enough time. So anyway you're not getting anything from the "action" scene itself, but we do get a badass film still of Dawn and a dramatic gif of Chris.

Also the poor guy who played the henchman was left lying in the long grass while we continued filming the scene and ended up getting a rash from nettles. At this point we also attracted the attention of a group of youths who wanted to know what we were doing and whether the film was gonna be shown on TV. And then an elderly dog walker was concerned about our henchmen guy lying down in the grass and it took a while to convince him that everything was fine (I was put in mind of the TLOG S3 outtake of Mark Gatiss lying on the pavement as Phill Proctor and that confused passerby asking if he was OK.)

And then the police arrived! Because the youths were setting fire to things.

Anyway, back to the story. Dawn picks up The Device and scolds Chris - "If he’d got hold of that, we would have been stuck here." Aha, more exposition! The Device Must Be Kept Safe so they can portal outta there. Seems like that bit of information might be important later 🤔

Absolutely love the next bit - Dawn tugging Chris’ arm and leading her along.

Chris: There wasn't supposed to be any security left in this complex! Dawn: Well your intel was wrong, wasn't it?

Yeah, Dawn is fucking done.

We hear a speaker sputter to life and a sexy AI voice (ahem guess who did the voiceover?) starts broadcasting.

Then we come to one of my absolute favourite shots: This lovely focus pull from Dawn to Chris...

And my favourite bit of Dawn/Chris interactions: Their argument as Dawn finally snaps

Chris: She knows we're coming Dawn: It knows we're coming. It's a computer, not a person. Let's not get sentimental. Chris: She was MY partner and MY friend Dawn: It's not Sarah! It's a machine!

(Friend, eh, Chris? Special friend? Maybe you were roommates?) 

Dawn has had enough of Chris’s shit. She needs to get this mission over and done with. Find the server room, initiate the self destruct sequence, get the fuck out. C'mon, we've got an Evil AI to blow up!

We have a lovely tracking shot following Dawn into the bunker. It was tricky to do but DoP was very pleased with how it turned out!

We'd pretty much wrapped all our exterior shots so it was time to head to the location for our bunker/server room (ie the DoP's garage). We had an annoying moment where the owner of the brown leather jacket that Chris wears wouldn't let us keep it for any longer. We filmed some scenes of Chris taking the jacket off before entering the bunker for continuity purposes but honestly they looked shit and didn't serve any narrative purpose and were distracting. So we cut it and just trusted that the interior shots were dark enough that no one would really notice.

OK, so we go into the bunker and hear some lovely atmospheric buzzes and hums. Green lighting courtsey of a neon sign the DoP bought for her son's birthday party.

They reach the server room and… What’s this? Sarah? 

Yes, Chris’s friend/partner/ex(?) has become one with the machine! It’s Cyborg Sarah the Evil AI! 

We were up til 1am filming in the DoP's garage, I wrapped this poor girl in a bunch of cables and kettle leads and we had her precariously balanced on some broken tiles. Delirium had set in, we were absolutely shattered, and the garage was an absolute health and safety nightmare of dodgy electrics and trailing wires.

Chris realises that if they set off the self-destruct then Sarah will be blown up and she'll truly lose her forever. In a state of grief/panic/bargaining she tries to free Cyborg Sarah from the machine. 

Dawn: It almost looks real… Chris: She is real! Dawn: Chris, no... Chris: We can't leave her here! We have to take her with us! If we leave her here, she'll die!

Chris, you idiot, can't you see it's too late? She’s One With the Machine! Dawn and Chris have a scuffle, a tube is pulled out of Cyborg Sarah and sprays engine oil/cyborg blood over the wall. In all the commotion, the Device is shattered on the ground.

Uh oh! The AI voice taunts them: Your portal device is destroyed. There's no way for you to leave the complex. If you activate the self destruct then we will all go together. Ha. Ha. Ha. 

Chris falls to her knees in despair and Dawn takes a moment to weigh up her options... Complete the mission and sacrifice herself, or save herself but let the Evil AI continue its unspecified reign of terror?

We have a lovely shot of Dawn wiping the cyborg blood off a mirror and smearing her reflection. You can't really see the "blood" in the gif but it took fucking ages to get it to spray across the mirror without getting anyone's hands in shot.

Dawn makes her decision... "Guess we're all going together, then."

She enters the access code, and the AI voice speaks: Self destruct sequence initiated… Music selected...

The sound of a piano begins to play...

Dawn leaves a sobbing Chris and goes outside for the last time. She looks up at the sky, takes a deep breath, and accepts her death... 

🎼When you attend a funeral / It is sad to think that sooner or / Later those you love will do the same for you / And you may have thought it tragic / (Not to mention other adjectives) / To think of all the weeping they will do / But don't you worry / For if the bomb that drops on you / Gets your friends and neighbours too... / There'll be nobody left behind to grieve

The bunker explodes in a blaze of white heat and Dawn, Chris, and whatever is left of Sarah are all incinerated. 

But the Evil AI is defeated, so yay? 

[we-are-inevitable]

Hi, Jac!! I am really enjoying reading "and the sun still sets the same" so far, and I would love to hear more about the frack au Jacobs siblings. Do Esther, Meyer, and Les live close to where the twins go to college? If not, what do they do to keep in touch (if they do keep in touch)? Does Les plan to go to college, and if so, what does he want to major in?

YESSSSS i adore them ugh. they are so so perf!!

so first things first, davey and sarah go to school about two and a half hours away from their family- close enough to go home if needed but far enough that they’re a little more independent.

davey has an INCREDIBLE relationship with his parents; he might be jaded and kind of prickly-looking, but he has evening yap sessions with esther nearly every day! he facetimes her while he cooks dinner, which just so happens to be when she’s cooking dinner as well, so he chats with her all the time. their dinner talks are something david tries hard not to miss!

i think sarah would definitely talk to esther a lot, too— maybe not as often as davey, but multiple times a week. i feel like that early morning talks while sarah’s on her morning run or just walking around campus would be their catch up time!

they both love mayer too obviously but he’s not a super big “use the phone” guy, so davey usually sees him in the background of facetimes (and he comes over to yap for about ten minutes or so) and sarah calls him on his lunch breaks at work!

their parents didn’t go to college, so davey and sarah are both first gen students, and esther and mayer can’t really afford to help that much but they do ALL they can. they don’t want their kids to struggle anymore than they have to.

they also both talk to les all the time. the jacobs fam is perfect in general but even MORE perfect in this au

les is around 12-14 in this fic (i havent decided yet) and he doesn’t really show up but i have thoughts. he’s the only straight Jacobs sibling, not that it matters bc he’s a middle schooler but it’s important to Me that you know that

les would be such a like….. sports marketing or business major. everyone thinks hes another frat bro douchebag because hes a straight guy business major but both of his siblings are queer and his parents didn’t raise a bitch

anyway i love them. im imagining esther and mayer being the two people that can make david smile and laugh like jack can and that’s a HUUUUGE thing that sarah notices when she first meets jack

esther thinks all of davey’s tattoos are so so cool and mayer was with him when he bought his first skirt. they completely support sarah’s love of fashion design and will even model for her if she has an idea for something they’d like. they are quite literally the best most supportive family on the planet

i could talk about them allllll day but alas, i will stop

[casspurrjoybell-27]

In a Heartbeat - Chapter 32 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Vince

Chase excused me from our therapy session early, insisting he had other things to discuss with Simon.

The look on Chase's face as I left sent a clear message 'don't fuck this up.'

'Yeah, if it was only that easy,' I thought.

There was still that looming question of why Simon seemed so willing to go through with this and how exactly we could coexist together, especially in the same room.

Either he was just that dumb enough to believe things would work out between us, or he had an ulterior motive.

My bet was on the latter but it still didn't make any sense.

What could he possibly gain by being close to someone who basically ruined his life?

But what Chase said did make some sense, even if it had sounded outrageous.

I hated to admit but these pills were taking a toll on my physical strength, including those migraines and painful shifts.

Getting off of them would in theory help but just the thought of its repercussions was terrifying.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't want my wolf to die, I know what that would imply and Chase's warnings couldn't hold any more truth but to hear my wolf's incessant yapping, to hear him yell and complain to me about what I've done, I didn't want any part of that.

I had already dealt with it when I first found out about Simon and when I dueled with Michael.

I didn't need another person to remind me of the wrongs I caused but what I feared most was how being off these pills would change me.

I was so used to not feeling anything, not caring about anything.

I needed to be stern, fearless and unfazed if I was to be Alpha.

I don't have time to let pesky feelings and emotions get to me.

I couldn't be an emotional bitch like Michael had been with David, that wasn't how Alphas were supposed to act.

That wasn't what our father wanted and if that's what being off those pills felt like, I didn't want any part in it.

*********

Before I could even make it up to the stair landing, there was Sarah, with her hands on her hips as she sent a glare from the top of the stairs.

Lately, she always wore that judgmental look when she looked at me.

It wasn't completely a new look but it hurt to see it directed at me after all those years.

Usually, she'd glare like that at the older stuck-up council members, especially those that opposed more progressive and extensive protocols we wanted to implement.

Now, she didn't even smile at me.

"Sarah," I greeted with a half-smile.

She pointed her thumb toward the conference room.

"We need to talk."

I scoffed.

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

"Just get your ass in there, now," she sneered.

I brushed past her shoulder which earned a sharp slap on the shoulder from her as I walked in, leaning against the edge of the table with my arms crossed.

"Make it quick," I joked.

"Wouldn't want your boyfriend to find out."

She bit her bottom lip, holding in an insult most likely.

"I cared about you, Vince. I really did but..." she continued.

"I don't think you ever cared about me. About anyone, really."

I frowned.

"I do."

"Yeah, yourself," she scoffed.

"And now, I can truly see how self-centered you can be and I can't let you pull the same shit again. Not on Simon. He doesn't deserve that bullshit."

"The lying, the cheating," she rambled on.

"The pathetic excuses for your behavior. He deserves better than what you gave me."

"No. He may think you could change but I know you. You string people along, let them believe a side of yourself before tearing them apart. So unless you plan on giving it your all and actually appreciate your mate for once in your life, don't string him along. You've hurt him enough."

I rolled my eyes.

"You think it's a terrible idea too."

She sighed.

"I don't think I could ever forgive you for what you did to me and knowing what you did to him makes me question his sanity but I can commend him for wanting to see past your flaws, to understand you. Because at some point I wanted to too but it's a two-way street, you have to try to understand him too, Vince. He deserves that much. Try to understand his pain, the things he's gone through. I mean, haven't you had someone you loved hurt you? Betray you?"

I uncrossed my arms, thinking about what happened with David, how dad had seemed to go berserk on him and Michael.

How every night he'd warn me what would happen if I turned out like them, instead of the typical bedtime story or ruffle of the hair.

It had hurt to see him turn so aggressive so quickly.

Then I thought of how Sarah had walked out when she found out the truth about Simon leaving, that Simon and his family weren't actually traitors and as much as she disagreed, I did care about her, maybe even considered it love at some point and it did hurt.

She had been there the whole time, a constant and the next second she was out of my life.

Did I feel betrayed or did I perhaps assume it would've happened?

But there was one moment that I vowed to never talk about with anyone, not even Sarah knew about it.

The scariest moment of my life, one that had surpassed the night dad found out about David.

It was terrifying and probably the only thing I could really think of when Sarah mentioned betrayal.

Xavier had always been clingy as a child, looking up to the both of us, wanting to be a part of everything we did and when Michael and David had been disowned by our father, Xavier drifted apart too.

He didn't hang out with me or Michael, often hanging out with the kids his age and he only drifted further apart from me after Simon left, insisting he needed to find his mate.

I had Alpha duties and he was always busy with the Betas but it never occurred to me how focused he was on finding his mate and the day he turned eighteen left me petrified.

We never talked about our feelings, emotions or anything really, so when I had found him that morning in the bathroom, I didn't know what to think.

A part of me didn't believe it at first, maybe he had just fallen asleep with a razor after shaving.

Maybe he'd fainted after overworking himself agai and then I saw the blood underneath him.

I remember asking why, demanding what possessed him to do something that stupid and when he told me some sob story about his mate, I wondered how he could possibly think this would've done anything and in a way, I did feel betrayed.

I remembered feeling so hurt after, knowing that he'd rather do something like that than to come to his own brother.

Even though we hadn't been close, it hurt to know that he didn't want to come to me for help like he had all those years ago and when I kept asking, pushing for answers, he pretended it never happened.

'Have you had someone you loved hurt you? Betray you?'

Clenching my jaw at the memory, I looked at her firmly.

"Yes."

"That's what Simon has felt, every single day," she frowned.

"For twelve years, Vince."

There was an unsettling silence in the air, us staring at each other as her words hung in the air.

Twelve years was a long time to feel like that and sometimes I forgot how long it had been since Simon was here.

"Whether or not you want to make this work, be honest with yourself first, Vince."

She finally spoke in a softer tone.

"Be true to yourself for once in your life and figure out what you want. Don't just do something because your dad wanted it or Michael or anyone else but yourself."

Because that was totally easy.

My whole life felt like I was just trying to please someone.

"I'll try," I said finally.

It wasn't assuring but she took it, seeming to relax a bit since we first stepped in the room.

"Good. As much as I hate what you did, I still want you to be happy, Vince and Simon deserves happiness too. I hope you'll see that."

She patted my shoulder before heading toward the doors.

"Wait," I stopped her, the words she said lingering in my head.

She tilted her head like she always did when she was confused.

"How... What's he like? Your mate?"

She blinked before a soft smile spread across her face.

"He's good to me. He makes me happy."

I sucked in a breath.

"That's good. I'm uh... happy for you."

She smiled fully then, something I hadn't seen for quite some time.

[songbytoadrecords]

To celebrate International Women's Day I have put together a playlist celebrating the women who have been integral to making Song, by Toad what it is over the years. Many thanks everyone - I will try not to be such a boorish oaf in future. Can't promise I will succeed, but I promise to try!

1. The Summer Was Over by Faith Eliott (who is also all over the new Meursault album).

2. Dear God by Siobhan Wilson (whose debut album is out in July and who also sang loads on Imaginary Walls Collapse by Adam Stafford.

3. Rut by Lush Purr (Emma on bass and vocals is someone we've known and been pals with for ages, having initially met when she played in the (brilliant) Yawns).

4. Let's Save Christmas (The Ballad of Nakatomi Plaza) by eagleowl (Clarissa on upright double bass and vocals is the obvious one here, but the Canaveral Choir, and Tallah were also crucial to this awesome, ridiculous song).

5. Dive-bombing by Modern Studies (WIKILEAKS EDIT: super secret excellent things in the pipeline which are secret!)

6. The Fix is in by Meursault (Robyn's screeching, distorted violin is crucial to this song in particular, but also to the intensity of the current live show).

7. Unshaven Boozer by David Thomas Broughton & juice vocal ensemble (It takes quite something to be on the verge of upstaging DTB on his own album, but Sarah, Kerry and Anna are fucking phenomenal on this album).

8. The One Where the Stripper Cries by Sex Hands (Drummer Alex made the whole process so easy, which I was desperately grateful for as a rookie engineer).

9. Shock Shock by Sparrow and the Workshop (I miss these guys - has one of the best voices I have ever heard). 

10. Paleface by Magic Eye (Both Rebecca and Roma from this band could sing the shit out of a song, and Bek is a fantastic guitarist too).

11. This is All Going to End Badly by Trips and Falls (Amanda, Julie and Ash Leigh were absolutely vital components of this gloriously eccentric band - I miss this lot too!)

12. I'm Half the Man You Were by Jesus H Foxx (Tallah who sang and played cornet with these guys has been a friend and collaborator for something like ten years now and has made a massive contribution to the world of Scottish music over the years).

13. Sex Acts by Animal Magic Tricks (Frances feels a lot like one of Song, by Toad's great lost talents, and my general inability to get this across to the world at large feels like one of my greatest mistakes).

14. Basketball Land by Le Thug (Clio is another with an absolutely crystal-clear, beautiful voice - hopefully these guys will record more with us in future, because they are fantastic).

And there we go, and that's before we talk about Foon Yap, Ailie from Passion Pusher, L.T. Lief, Sophia von Dodds and Kim form WOLF all of whom we will be working with in the fairly immediate future.

Then there's also people like Leonora Winstanley, Claire Grandemange (Cat Macbat), as well as photographers like Nic Rue, Fiona Buckle, Alex Storm Hague, and the new team at the label which includes the incredible Kate Lazda and Anastasia Connor.

I can't list all the women who have supported our stuff in the press, played amazing shows for us, recorded Toad Sessions or guested on various recordings because I will never be able to remember everyone - sorry.

And then of course there is the incomparable Mrs. Toad - the great love of my life and the funder, encourager and Grand Matriarch of all we do here.

https://soundcloud.com/songbytoad/sets/international-womens-day-at-song-by-toad

(Song, by Toad)

[phinamina]

hi guys this is jusy me complaining abt pjo tv

so um errrr scroll if u domt like im not arguing w anyone abr this i js want to share my opinion on my blog

first thing im gonna start off with saying, i ahve nothing against the actors . they did an amazing job and i love them all . (except dior, reminder shes a zionist)

but, the inaccuracy of the show compared to the books is insane and it makes me mad actually🙁

so many people will defend it by saying ‘ricks working on the show too!’ man idc actually we were promised a book accurate show and we did not get it . im not talking about the appearances of the characters, im talking about the events . i didnt get the changes of a lot of things, and the changes take away from everyones character .

we couldve seen percys street smarts and annabeths fear of spiders, but they settled for scrapping the first thing and instead telling us that annabeth is afraid of spiders . this has happened multiple times

more on telling us instead of showing us, the amount of times this happens in frankly annoying, it acts as if the viewer is stupid . ohh yes annabeth is your sister, show us luke 😇i dont believe uou😇 can i have an example😇ARGHEHHHH

it also removes already good dialogue and replaces it with mid dialogue .

also, percys claiming scene….. i domt like how they didnt have them bowing or whatever because it removes the severity of the situation and the impact that him being the son of poseidon is important and not just like oh yeah that guy is yhe son of poseidon .

rip it was a big bathtub

rip the book

the removal of humor in the story makes it quite frankly boring, and removes more character from everyone . everyone is too serious in the show and its like watching paint dry .

the only memorable part that could be seen as funny was percy dancing instead of being ready at capture the flag

and sighhhhh annabeth being there when luke was revealed to be the traitor means she had to of had a suspicion of him in the first place which is . um . annabeth spent four whole books denying luke being evil

rip pit scorpion

and the . THEM MISSING THE DEADLINE . IN THE BOOK IT SAYS PERCY WOULD BE KILLING FIRST AND THAT DID NOT HAPPEN !! ITS REMOVING FEAR FROM THE GODS !!!! AND PERCY CONFRONTING ZEUS WAS STUPID BECAUSE IN BOOK ONE IT SAYS,

“I dared not look up. My heart was racing. I could feel the energy emanating from the two gods. If i said the wrong thing, I had no doubt they could blast me into dust.” Page 340 …. die actually

percy is scared of zeus and poseidon in book one . the removal of this also adds more to the gods not being a figure that is scary.

and annabeth sassing the gods is unreal . annabeth in the books thinks disrespect=surprise surprise, get smote!

anyways im just mad and theres probably more but i havent watched in a while so this is all ur getting

[bxeckersz]

I love you sarah strong.

i love you ashlynn shade.

i love you paige bueckers.

[jenmedsbookreviews]

Last year I took a bit of a gamble. As I already had to go to Scotland to do some preparatory work on my departmental budget for 2017, I decided to make a proper week of it and stayed up in Scotland so that I could attend the Bloody Scotland International Crime Writing Festival. From the very first evening, I knew I had made the perfect choice and as the weekend went on, I knew that, come hell or high water, I’d be back again.

I knew this because I’d booked the hotel for 2017 before I’d even left Stirling.

After much arm twisting (read a single text message) I had managed to persuade my sister to join me and last Friday morning, armed only with suitcase, a few empty bags and a takeaway crap in a bap for breakfast we set off for Stirling.

Now regular followers of my blog will recall that I suffer from more than a little paranoia and neurosis when it comes to attending festivals. I don’t not go, but as a total introvert and overtly shy person (when not hiding behind my computer screen at least) there is nothing worse for me than a facing room full of people, all of whom seem to already know each other, laughing, joking and generally celebrating all things bookish. For regular visitors to these things it’s a chance to catch up with old friends. For me – it’s a nightmare.

Bloody Scotland is totally different. Set across three venues in Stirling, it is entirely possible to attend this event without feeling either claustrophobic or excluded. There is no pressure to socialise, and yet every opportunity to do so. It feels like there are more people there for the simple fact of listening to the authors, as much as they are to schmooze with them. And yet, if you are so inclined, the opportunity to schmooze is there. It is a truly reader friendly festival and about as relaxed as they come. I’m not saying that other book festivals are not friendly (they are) or relaxed (they are), but for someone like me, not having everything in one venue just makes it feel easier somehow. It’s hard to put my finger on it, but it is an entirely different atmosphere. A lot less intense.

It is no less bloody brilliant.

What a weekend we had. If you are in any doubt about attending festivals then I would encourage you to make the pilgrimage north to Stirling in September. I very much doubt you will be disappointed. There is a packed agenda across the two and a half days, Saturday and Sunday packing in up to three panels in each time slot. The most taxing thing you need to do all weekend is decide on which ones to attend.

Not being drinkers, Mandie and I went a little mad on the old panels, attending all three events on Friday night, six panels each on Saturday and three on Sunday afternoon. Because I was on the blog tour for the Bloody Scotland book, I got one of these:

I didn’t really need to use it much as I’d booked tickets in advance, but it’s a wonderful souvenir and reminder of a cracking weekend.

First up on Friday night was a truly unique and wonderful event. After attending the Gala Opening, held for the first time at Stirling Castle, in which Denise Mina was awarded the McIlvanney Prize for her novel The Long Drop, we threw caution to the wind and joined everyone heading down the hill in the first torchlight procession in honour of Ian Rankin’s 30 years of Rebus.

It was absolutely incredible (and a little scary) heading down the hills and cobbled streets from the castle to the Albert Halls for the panel with Ian Rankin and Mark Billingham. Now I say scary because I was walking next to Mandie who can trip over a shadow, so the idea of hills, cobbles and a three foot long wooden stick coated in paraffin wax and set alight… Well, it’s enough to make even a tough man cower. We survived though and after completing the ‘dip and tip’ manoeuvre with the torch, we headed into the Albert Halls for the first panel.

After an entertaining hour spent in the company of Messrs Rankin and Billingham, listening as they talked all things Rebus, Ian Rankin’s 30 years in the business, the highs the lows and hitting the suspects list, we trundled back to the front of The Albert Halls to queue for the last event of the evening – Never Mind The Buzzcops in which two quiz teams, captained by Mark Billingham and Val McDermid, with Craig Robertson  as quizmaster, tried to out gun each other with their knowledge of all things crime – from theme tunes to baby photos.

To me the quiz was one of the highlights of the 2016 festival and this was no different. Mark’s team won by the narrowest of margins but a win is a win right? (Same couldn’t be said for the football team he captained, but that’s someone else’s story.) When all the quiz fun was over we hung around for the very last treat of an already incredible opening evening – The Fun Lovin’ Crime Writers. Playing an array of songs from rock to country, and rounding off the night with The Proclaimers 500 Miles, this was an event to remember. Doug Johnstone, Luca Veste, Stuart Neville, Mark Billingham, Val McDermid and Chris Brookmyre showcased their musical talent and natural rhythm (or lack thereof in Val McDermid’s case, but she does do a mean train impression) and wowed the crowds, getting them dancing in the aisles. Frustrated rock stars possibly, brilliantly entertaining they most certainly are.

After the excitement of Friday night, Saturday morning was a far more sedate start. After breakfast our first panel of the day was Queens of Grip Lit with C.L. Taylor, Sarah Pinborough and Clare Mackintosh. Here they talked about everything from domestically mundane tasks, to implausible or unnecessary twists, and the need to up the ante in their next book.

Next up was Craig Sisterson in conversation with Val McDermid. As always with Val, a thoroughly entertaining and frank discussion about her 30 years of writing. They talked through her whole career from the Lindsay Gordon series which she described as ‘Agatha Christie with a radical, feminist, lesbian plot’ to the Hill and Jordan series which was conceived while driving down the M6 past the Lake District.

The third panel of the day saw me and Mandie part ways. Mandie when to Watching the Detectives featuring MJ Arlidge and Robert Thorogood, and I went to the New Crimes panel, chaired by Alex Gray and featuring Felicia Yap, Mark Hill, Ian Skewis and Rob Ewing. It was great to hear about how all of the writers approach the task of writing, both plotters and pantsers represented here, and where the inspiration for their novels came from. Rather more disturbingly, Rob Ewing shared his thoughts on the most effective virus for wiping out a population of people. Least said, as they say…

Meeting back up with Mandie, we next attended The Dark Lands featuring Lin Anderson, Ragnar Jonasson and Thomas Enger. As well as discussing their fiction, all set in cold, dark climates, reflecting on how this affects mood, setting and even writing style, we were also treated to a musical performance by Thomas Enger, who played the lullaby which his character, Henning Juul, created for his young son. I’d seen a video on line but nothing compares to seeing it played live. Absolutely beautiful and moving music, and completely a wonderful panel to boot.

Time to split up again, Mandie heading to the From Cops to Robbers panel and me heading to watch Craig Sisterson interviewing Mason Cross and Craig Russell. A really interesting hour spent looking at two writers from not only very different settings but also very different time periods. Examining how they create time and place from a landscape which is not their own natural habitat, it did nothing to help my ever growing TBR list. Even better, just before the panel we were treated to a Crime in the Spotlight session, created to highlight just some of the rising stars in crime fiction. This time it was the turn of Lloyd Otis, whose new debut novel Deadlands is released in October.

After a quick bite to eat (the first time we’d remembered to eat and drink since just after breakfast – whoops) we both headed back to The Golden Lion for the final panel of the evening, Two Crime Writers and a Microphone – featuring hosts Luca Veste and Steve Cavanagh, and guests Mark Billingham, Eva Dolan and Ian Rankin, with Stuart Neville providing the soundtrack live. Due to laws of libel, and this being a mostly family friendly blog, I can’t repeat a lot of what was said, however I can tell you it was hilarious, occasionally close to the knuckle, and a brilliant way to end the evening. If you’ve ever listened to one of the podcasts then imagine that live and uncensored. Yeah. Like that.

Sunday was a far more sedate affair. A morning spent drinking coffee, reading and completing a little blogmin, as our first panel wasn’t scheduled until 2pm. Then it was time for Social Issues or Serial Killers with Craig Robertson, Eva Dolan and Mark Billingham. Examining the ideas of whether evil truly exists, the place for and popularity of serial killers in crime fiction, and their own novels which come with a high sense of social justice, this was an absolutely cracking session with three authors who are never afraid to speak their minds. If you’ve not read them yet, you really must.

Nesx up was An Inspector Faro Mystery – The Vanishing Vagrant. Possibly not quite award winning acting, but still highly entertaining, it has to be said that the accents left a lot of be desired. There was a guest turn from actress Harley Jane Kozak, but as good as she was she was nonetheless upstaged by Gordon Brown‘s Liverpudlian (? – who knows) accent, and Douglas Skelton‘s top class turn as Inspector Faro, stepping deftly into the shoes vacated by last year’s star, Stuart MacBride.

Rounding off the whole weekend in style, we decided to head to Four Blokes in search of a plot. The dream writing team of Neil Broadfoot, Gordon Brown, Douglas Skelton and Mark Leggatt recreated their writing partnership magic, penning their next masterpiece, Stewart MacBride and Tatty Peeler, while wearing the ‘tea cosy of inspiration’ and answering questions from the audience on the art of writing. Absolutely hilarious.

Nice hat Gordon!

It was a great weekend meeting old friends and new. It was wonderful to finally meet Jackie Baldwin, Mary Picken and Kelly Lacey. I saw Jackie perform her Crime in the Spotlight segment last year and it was lovely to finally say an official hello.

If you are in any doubt about whether or not to attend next year, which by the way is from the 21st to 23rd September, then here are a few words from festival newbie Mandie to try and persuade you.

Thoughts from a Bloody Scotland first timer.

So this year I went to my very first Bloody Scotland event.  If I am honest it was my first real experience of a Crime Writer’s festival. I went to the Killer Women event last year in London but that in no way prepared me for the weekend that lay ahead.

As a newbie the first big trauma you get is trying to work out what you want to see..  thankfully I had Jen to help guide me a bit as the first thought is to do something from every session… My advice is don’t – not unless you really want to see specific authors that are on in the session. You will drive yourself nuts flitting from one event to another. On the Saturday, when we paused at about 5pm we realised we had not really had anything to eat or drink since early that morning.

My other bit of advice is go to some of the fun events on offer (always at the end of the day). They are a good way to unwind and to be honest is probably when you see the authors at their most relaxed.  I have never laughed so much as I did at the Inspector Faro play on Sunday, but the authors trying to put together a story between them, whilst wearing a tea cosy of inspiration was hysterical.

I think one of my favourite sessions was “From Cops to Robbers”. There I got to listen to 3 former police officers talk about their experiences and what got them writing. It was interesting to hear about their different experiences in the force.

My advice is – if you have not been to one before – go, they are a blast.

All that remains to be said is thank you to every one involved in creating, hosting and participating in Bloody Scotland. It is an amazing weekend and I can’t wait to return to Stirling next year.

…

A Bloody Giveaway

Now I will admit that I am a bit of a tool, but a generous one, so one of you lucky folk will get to benefit from my toolishness right now. Being an avid reader of crime fiction, and loving all things Scottish, I had a hard copy of Bloody Scotland on order from Amazon from the minute I found out it was being released. I also ordered it on Kindle because I prefer to read that way. As I was on the blog tour, the organisers of Bloody Scotland kindly sent me a hard copy of the book. I forgot to cancel my order with Amazon (to be fair I forgot I even had it on order still so…)

As I am a lovely lady (apparently) I am going to give that brand new copy of Bloody Scotland away to one of you lucky folk. As I am so very, very lovely (apparently) I am also giving away a beautiful Heather Gems bookmark, a Hailin’ Coo notebook and a bar of Iain Burnett Highland Chocolatier Milk Chocolate which believe me is very lush. Open to entrants from UK and Europe, all you need to do is follow the link and do one of three things: follow Jen Med’s on Twitter, follow Jen Med’s Facebook page, or comment below with the answer to the question asked in the link.

Enter Giveaway Here

A weekend to remember. @Bloodyscotland Roundup September 17 + Giveaway Last year I took a bit of a gamble. As I already had to go to Scotland to do some preparatory work on my departmental budget for 2017, I decided to make a proper week of it and stayed up in Scotland so that I could attend the Bloody Scotland International Crime Writing Festival.

[bxeckersz]

YESSSS SARAHH YESSSS