#second.thoughts

[ur-mousey]

A: HEAR ME OUT PLEASE- I hate his character personality and he’s actually so annoying and creepy but why is his design and the fanart cute 😭

B: Fully hearing u out!!!! Like if u take away the things that make him a degenerate (his porn addiction) and make him a functioning human in society he’s just a nerd who’s never felt the touch of a woman

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Saw this random convo on Pinterest. FYI!!!! Almost done with Benzo-Addict. I just need to write the smut scene. I always trip up on these sorts of scenes. But, I should have the story out tomorrow.

P.S. I don't have work for the next four days. NO MORE EXCUSES!!!

[ur-mousey]

Writing smut is the gateway to rot.

Benzo-Addict part 3 is halfway done. Currently writing.

[ootdmagazine]

OOTD is @second.thought Yay?

[buydotexpress]

Women's Fashion: https://t.co/N1MrTMscuj Photo taken by @second.thought on Instagram. #BEBrand #Newcifera #BuyDotE… https://t.co/JaxZeplg5K

[ur-mousey]

Literally been me the whole month of June.

I promise I’m coming back!

𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙙.

𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤: 𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙮𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙋𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩

[ur-mousey]

Important ~

Hey guys! I will not be able to deliver on my promises to upload any stories this month or next. Life has been kicking me in the ass recently.

My homophobic father made it clear that I’m no longer welcomed in his house based off a dream he had of me. This situation has been confusing and heartbreaking; I don’t feel safe.

I’m working to move out. So once everything is settled I’ll try to come back. Thank you for understanding.

-xoxo

[ur-mousey]

November - December Projects ~ Please don't leave an untold story within you

Hello!!! I am back after a hot hiatus. I've been struggling with work and my depressive nature. I have taken this time to step away and focus on other goals of mine. I am doing great for myself. I am re-enrolling in college, updating my desk setup (a.k.a- saving up for a big boi PC), and I've made new friends.

For the remainder of this month and next, I will take it slow. There's no such thing as weekly uploads. It's not like I even maintained that well enough prior due to my unpredictable work schedule.

Hopefully, by the start of the spring semester, I have more time. I will most likely quit and find a new, less demanding job. Plus school can't be that hard... *cries*

Projects

~ these are concept ideas that may or may not be worked on by the end of this month. If not done, they may be rolled onto next month's list or simply abandoned due to a list of reasons.

~ requests made during the remainder of October and November may replace a listed project below if I so desire, however, it's unlikely.

~ lastly, no dates will be mentioned. I couldn't live up to that -it made writing feel more like a chore than a hobby.

Reminder ~ do not spam me with requests through the forum or in PMs. I had an experience with a fan like that. It made writing unbearable for a while.

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Cross My Heart and Hope to Die (chapter 2 and 3)

Hireath GXMXG (tentacle monster) teaser 2 + 3

You Need Me (Geto Suguru x Reader) prt 3

Kylar x Reader fan request

Nicole x Reader fan request

Crispin x Reader fan request

(listing order does not indicate the order of release)

Follow my socials!

ig = lil.thoughts.xo Wattpad = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

[ur-mousey]

~ Ground Zero ~

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Hey, I'm Sydney ♡ 20 ♡ She/Her ♡

☉♓︎ . ☾♎︎ . ☊ ♋︎

Welcome to my decrepit lair filled with fantasies galore! I write yandere smut for the girlies, guys, and non-binary hoes.

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Follow these other Socials for more contents-

ig = lil.thoughts.xo Wattpad + A03 = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

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REQUESTS:

I take requests! There is a forum in the description of my profile. Please go there or I will not take your idea. DM only to further elabrote on your idea or if you want to get to know me. I am open to making friends.

Rant Post suggestions can be made if you want to hear my opinion about certain Fandoms. Get spicy with it 😏

RULES:

* Leave a description of the pairing in mind and their situation.

Ex: Yan! Sukuna x faun! reader + dark home * Please specify the gender of the reader! Or they will be written as I see fit. Most likely female. * I write Yandere non/con + dub/con content.

Without any other specifications to not include those topics, I will assume to write that in. * Don't Spam your requests. If you do, I will not follow through with your requests. * NO requests for incest.

* Stories with underage characters will be age appropriate. Or the characters will be aged up. * Kinks such as vore, scat, piss, etc. are off limits. I will not write them or anything similar.

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FANDOMS: links highlghted

Anime ~ * Jujutsu Kaisen * My Hero Academia * Blue Exorcist * Soul Eater * Attack on Titan * Hunter x Hunter * Haikyuu Random ~ * The Folk of Air Series * Class of '09 *The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey Original Works ~ Hireath - Rhin (tentacle monster) Teaser 1 Opinion Pieces ~ *Ghibli Movies + Anime Movies *Collar X Malice (otome games) *The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey

[ur-mousey]

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The Coffin of Andy And Leyley Should We Really Care About the Incest? !!!

Plot Summary: A water contamination scheme keeps the brother-sister duo, Andrew and Ashely Graves, locked in their apartment on the verge of starvation. They discover a way out through demonic shenangians. Can these two grow past their childhood identities? Or are they destined to be each other's demise?

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Overall Thoughts:

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*Warning* These are my thoughts. Do not take them seriously. You can disagree all you want in the comments below. Enjoy!

First hearing about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley left a sour taste in my mouth. And it's probably for the same reason most people refuse to engage with the story being told by creator Nemlei. The notion on Twitter (or X, ew) dubbed this media as just the 'incest' game unfairly and failed to appreciate the themes being showcased by the siblings.

I believe that The Coffin of Andy and Leyley will grow in popularity by the release of the third episode. And this game will be a cult classic in no time, setting new records for storytelling in future indie projects.

I deep-dived into Nemlei's gameography, and dare I say, those other projects walked so Andrew and Leyley could run. There's only praise that should be afforded to Nemlei based on their improvements.

Watch or play through No-Good Noelle, which had come out three months prior, and see the differences. I also recommend Divilethion for those yearning for Nemlei's storytelling/art style.

But what those two games have in common, is that there's less to do for the players. While Andy and Leyley have the mechanics within its gameplay to be 10x more interactive for audiences. No wonder it had grown in popularity.

Now, to address the incest.

You do not have to like taboo topics. You do not have to engage with media that showcase it or be a part of a hate campaign because you don't like something. And as a society, we should bring awareness to media forms that encourage/promote dangerous ideology. Which in most cases does include incest.

However, art forms can get away with handling these taboo topics because they turn them into tools for driving a theme forward. And they aren't inherently romanticizing dangerous ideals. With that said it can be tricky for creators to handle these topics with care. You can hold the opinion that The Coffin of Andy and Leyley didn't utilize the concept of incest effectively in its narrative.

But, most people who've 'criticized' the game, dog pilled it because of the incest without understanding its importance to the themes. I get it, okay. It's disgusting that these siblings are down to bone.

Yet, as a writer, Andrew and Ashely are stellar characters with unique relationship dynamics. The theme of codependency is heightened by the pair's familial ties. Here's a little exercise:

Imagine Andrew and Ashely weren't siblings... They become slightly less interesting. Mainly due to the fact, they cannot uphold their OG purpose.

Episode two has two endings, Decay and Burial. Both hinges on the siblings making a choice to either let the past go or hold onto Andy and Leyley, their childhood nickname, now a source of resentment. Ashely idolizes the past while Andrew strives towards the future. On paper, they are foils of one another. These characters can work while not being related.

They could've been childhood friends if Nemlei wanted. But, then the plot would need to change.

Episode 2 wouldn't have worked to flesh out these characters equally because it was a murder scheme against their parents. Both Andrew and Ashely's interaction with their mother and how the events of the murder played out, heightened the themes of willingness to change or the lack of. And subsequentially, the codependency of the siblings.

At the end of the day, creators should be encouraged and pushed to create narratives through uncomfortable lenses. Sometimes a story can only stand out with that unique perspective. Nemlei's rap sheet as a game developer has never been taboo-free, however, it was this game that got them hated, bullied, and doxed.

Because of implied incest -from what I'm concerned. Aside from the dream stuff.

I'm not shocked, just disappointed that people took to the internet to be hateful about a game with merit.

I hope Nemlei takes this in stride and comes back to the platform with the release of episode 3. I am in love with The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. There are many unanswered questions. And I can only see a bittersweet ending for these characters.

Join me next time, when I give my thoughts on Andrew and Ashely Graves. I will deep dive into episodes 1 and 2 as well in the future.

⚰️🔪⚰️🔪⚰️🔪 Thoughts on Ashely Graves:

LOADING.....

⚰️🔪⚰️🔪⚰️🔪 Thoughts on Andrew Graves:

LOADING.....

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Thank you for reading! Request rules are here! Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo! Do you agree or disagree? Comment down below! Future fanfics are in the works so follow me. 🥹

I recommend checking out my character thought pieces on Okazaki Kei and Shiraishi Kageyuki from Collar X Malice.

[ur-mousey]

Pls when are you posting Part 3 of the yan Jeffrey series? 🙏

I'm editing part 1 and 2 today. Then on Saturday or Sunday, part three should be up!

I plan on tagging everyone who has left comments and shown that they are ready for the 3rd part of Benzo-Addict!!!

[ur-mousey]

July Projects ~

The blog is officially back in session

I've updated my Wattpad account. You can head over there to follow along with my Tentacle monster x OC story -Hireath!

Follow my socials!

ig = lil.thoughts.xo Wattpad = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

I plan to go through my Tumblr to fix aesthetics and edit my stories. This may take me a day. Don't be surprise if things look different. lol.

But, here are the up and coming projects!

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Hireath Chapter One Teaser

Class of 09' Nicole x Yandere! Reader, July 1st

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley x Reader prt 1, July 9th

+ Rant (personal opinion of the siblings), whenever

Benzo-Addict prt 3, July 30th

Hireath Chapter Two Teaser

[ur-mousey]

will you ever write more for Jeffery after the benzo addict one?

I already made part two which you could find in my masterlist. I plan to write a part three soon!

I've been on a hiatus but prepare to see more in July!!!

Also I am updating my wattpad and Ao3 to have more long story content because Tumblr is better for one-shots in my opinion.

[ur-mousey]

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Hey guys! Check out my Wattpad for my Tentacle x OC story!

@ calypsee #second.thoughts

I’m gonna write it like a serious book and I thought the bast platform to post it on was Wattpad.

Please support me on this new endeavor! Love ya'll

XOXO

[ur-mousey]

This who y’all want!!! Part three of Benzo-Addict is under construction!!!!

He’s so cringe i want to throw him off a building

MINORS DNI || Age in bio BYF|| DO NOT REPOST

[ur-mousey]

will you ever write for kylar?

I literally want to!! He’s my favorite male character in the game!

I’ve been taking a break from writing. But I’m whipping up a Nicole x Yan! Reader! Then I’ll finish up Benzo-Addict.

After that, I wanted to write for either Emily or Kylar.

[ur-mousey]

Confessional ~

Verse 1

  "I clung to your hands

      so that something human might exist in the chaos."

-      Hèlène Gixous, from "Olivier De Serres- A Single Passion Two Witnesses," Love Itself: In the Letter Box (Polity Press, 2008)

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* Ingrid *

It is in the wind, and the rocks, and within the waves. It is the echo of the lost places of our soul's past and our grief for them. Hiraeth n.(Welsh) A spiritual longing for a home which maybe never was. Nostalgia for ancient places to which we cannot return. It is nowhere and it is everywhere. And it is the place in between where I belong. 

It's 1992, and I have longed for eleven years. I counted the waves rolling back into the sea, ten times over, each year on my birthday. And when this September 9th comes, I'll join my mother and sisters in their songs under the full moon's cast. I'll put my lips to wine and drown myself with seafoam. Who dares to follow will be welcomed in my embrace because a home deserves its people. And I'm terrified of being alone.

There was a place I once called home, far over the ocean's horizon. Where women gathered without their men but with their daughters. I grew up there, blessed and loved by all. A spark of blonde whisps that bounded to and fro. And all of the new women that came kissed the ground that I'd walked on with bare feet. Their pasts were unknown to me from places unseen by me. I only knew of the isle. And what a massive landscape it was. 

There was one structure on the island. Crafted from the love of the land, untouched by most humans. A cathedral that shifted from left to right, and inside out to outside in. It had wondering feet that escaped people's sights. No one room kept its original spot or had doors that entered it along the same wall used before. Things disappeared when needed most and reappeared at whim but were never bound to be found where it was last seen. Lavish decor cycled through stages of novelty. Some became impoverished too quickly while others flourished gold under the sun's gleam. The women made it a game to hunt the sly-footed cathedral down with offerings in hand. They wanted to be in God's favor.

However, it was quite elusive.

But, not to I who was welcomed within its halls, guided where my heart desired. 

If overcome with fatigue from my embarkment then there would be a frilly white canopy bed awaiting my lax body where I'd burry my face into the scratchy tuff of my beloved lion plush, Leo. He accompanied me to all places unfit for Mother to venture. If I were joyful, there would be a room of porcelain dolls and a play mansion. My imagination would run amok of what men's courting a woman should look like. At the time, I wanted to be swept off my feet like that. They'll have a different gait and stride based on what the other women gossiped over, that I've yet to see for myself. They'll praise women in woeful pain knowing profound art would be on the other side. And, when men are not needed, they'd take it. 

When I didn't know where to go, I'd wander the halls with Leo to a shallow pool where I'd find my friend, the octopus. He would splash water on my face, tentacles curling around my arm to keep me upright in water up to my chin. He even taught me to swim before my mother could.  

I was only six, a being filled with imagination. He could've been imaginary, yet he felt real to me. He was my home. He taught me much. But as I had once imagined men, I wonder if I'd return to meet him, and he would be the cruelest of them all.

. . . . . .

Sister Grace Marie never saw my appearance as 'conducive' to the church. No matter where I walked on campus, I felt her beady-eyed stare up my fucking skirt. I wore the shitty uniform; unbuttoned at the collar: plaid blue skirt hiked to the cup of my ass: my frizzy mane contained in a messy ballet bun: and I was on my best behavior half of the time. I prayed at each meal that Koen would fuck off and finish last. I attended classes with little bite back because there would be nowhere to go if expelled. Then there was the bible I kept tucked between my thighs when I sat, noted and highlighted from years locked in this place. Though, with all that combined, it doesn't hide how shit-faced one can get before confessional.

"Sister got her eyes on you~" Annika singsonged into my ear.

I replied, "She must have the fattest crush on me." The pews were stocked full with herds of other students, one by one entering the booth to confess their mortal sins.  

Annika giggled alongside me, tapping eagerly at my knee. "Ingrid, hear me out. We sneak off to the shore tonight. Maybe we'll spot that wretched island of yours."

"It won't show," I whispered. "It doesn't like washed-up whores like you." I smothered kisses along the curve of her nose and hung off her shoulders. I glanced at Sister Grace Marie who scowled at the display. Her face puffed and reddened like an apple I wished to bite.

"So, is it a no to sneaking out?" 

I turned to Annika humming a tune of the isle. I longed for the lute to wash over the melody as the procession of drums amounted to greater heights, bouncing off the cave walls. Women had danced to this song and sung it to their children in the early hours in the vegetable field. Women sang this song each summer solstice and when children were blessed by their first bleed. It was a song of pure womanhood, which only I bear. And I kept it locked in a safe, buried behind my rib cage, scared that it'd be taken away from me. I was seldom aware that my home no longer existed outside of my body.

"I would go anywhere with you. And out of this damn church." I slouched further sideways into Annika's warmth, now subjected to the organ's melancholy praise to the lord "If I could show you my home, I would. You would love it there. Anyone would have. There were no rules to be broken. We shared everything. Love, experiences- it was a true home." 

"It's not like the rumors?"

I shook my head, "Nothing at all like it. Everyone here's a pansy."

Annika's fingers scratched at my scalp, "You talk fondly of the Isle that it's hard to believe that... they all died. My aunt got caught up in it. I do wonder if she had felt the same as you."

"We all felt the same." 

"But, you were six!  When are you going tell everyone your story?"

I tsked, glancing over my shoulder at Sister Grace Marie who motioned for me to sit up. "Right after I confess to the priest that I had homosexual thoughts about a certain nun." 

. . . . . .

I never quite liked enclosed spaces. 

Even the Isle's cathedral expanded similar to lungs with each trepid step. I had a whole island to explore. And I slept in tents made of thin white sheets, blown open for all the women to gather inside. We slept together, rarely with the need to be alone. And the moon showed himself full of elation, never shrouding us in darkness due to his lust for the sun who loved him back dearly. We were blessed and truly loved. We were beings truly protected by god. 

Wild foxes set up camp on our doorsteps and followed us younglings to the bathroom. While fluffy feathered owls perched across the woodlands, hunting for tomorrow's breakfast. They protected the land while my friend, the octopus, controlled the winds and the waves.

Confessionals started in a box. 

This one had one hundred and sixteen mini-decorative crosses carved into the exit. The number never grew or fell short with each season I found myself here -autumn being my favorite. I could imagine myself cosplaying a true believer in repentance. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been four months since my last confession. These are my sins." I halfheartedly recount while my knee bounced to the pace of my heart. 

"I think of myself defected," I begin.  My thumb ached around the ridges of my teeth. I have spoken more than I cared to admit. Might keep it going. "God doesn't exist here... As a child, he was everywhere -wherever I walked, green followed. Since I came here, he has forsaken me. I believe God hates me because I'm not pure of the mainland. I should be on the island. Now, I drink myself stupid. I'm not a whore but close to it. At least Sister thinks it. I've stolen, cussed, and been to the cops countless times. Even before I committed my first crime...

And, when I think about that, I get violent. I haven't acted on it, yet, but I want to -so badly- crush the skulls of those around me. Do you know what they call me, Father? Not only am I a daughter with no actual father but I am a Satanic Princess. The Seaside reject, ha. And you Catholics act so above it all. So my sin, I don't believe in your God."

A beat of silence came before a heavy sigh. "Child, God hears you now. He's within this room and as a servant of God, I listen and understand. This is the first that you've ever spoken so earnestly here. We are proud of you. You say God hates you, yet you're the sole survivor of that Island, I'll beg to say he loved you the most. He spared you of their fate."

"Hmm, you say that." I wilt into the heaviness of my head. "But, I hate it here. It's suffocating. I'd rather be where they are -wherever that is."

"Would you do as they did?"

I thought about it. "No"

"Why?"

"I'm afraid that they'll cast me out. Or that I wouldn't find them on the other side. Especially if I die here. It's terrifying... trying to take your own life."

"You are a vessel of God. You entered and will exit at his will if you so choose. They were lost and committed a grave sin. And at his divine ordainment, he brought you to us. Your life was spared. You are devout, but you will always be split between the Isle and here. Could you accept that?"

I thought about it. No.

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Thank you for reading! Request rules are here! Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo!

This story will be updated on Wattpad at least once a month. The first three chapters will be uploaded on my blog in its entirety. But, to read the full thing, head over to my Wattpad down below. Wattpad = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

An A03 version will be made in the future.