#send them to the @ao3-actually-android!

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Feeling a Little Blue - RK1K

(Read here on AO3)

Summary: Now that he and Markus are dating, Connor tells Hank what android dating looks like

-----

“So, let me get this straight. You’re dating now?”

“I am,” Connor said with a smile.

“And this boyfriend of yours is Markus? The deviant leader? The one we were supposed to track down?”

“That's the one,” came the enthusiastic reply.

Hank sat there, eyebrows raised, mouth agape, nodding slowly.

Connor didn't interrupt, wanting to let the other process it. Other people would be afraid over a reaction such as Hank’s but Connor couldn't help but smile. Thinking about Markus does that sort of thing.

A few seconds later and the lieutenant sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Jesus fucking Christ, I can't even say that's the weirdest thing I’ve heard out of your mouth.”

Maybe he would need a little push.

“We are very happy, if you're wondering.”

Hank looked up again, analyzing his face. “You really like him, do you?”

Connor furrowed. “Yes, of course, that's what I just said.”

Hank looked away again, expression going soft. Then his eyes wandered around the precinct, but nobody else was even near the break room right now.

He sighed again.

“Alright, tell me all about ‘android dating’.”

Connor’s smile grew wider. “I was hoping you’d ask that actually.”

He told Hank about lying next to each other, holding hands and going into standby-mode together. About interfacing, how you become one being for just a few seconds, feeling and seeing what the other has gone through, being able to send words unspoken. How close and safe it feels.

“Oh, and last week we went to the aquarium together!” Connor looked back at Hank, having briefly forgotten where he was and who he was talking to, so lost in the good memories they’ve built together.

Hank seemed amused, if his smirk was anything to go by. “Anything else?”

Connor hummed. “We go on walks together multiple times a week, exploring the city. Sometimes we just watch the other do stuff.”

“And what does that entail?” Hank had his head angled, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Well,” Connor’s eyes drifted, suddenly looking sheepish, “Markus is an amazing artist and great at the piano, if I dare say so.”

Hank leaned forward with a sparkle in his eyes. “And Markus?”

Connor’s eyes shot wide open. “What about Markus?”

“What does he watch you doing?”

Caught of guard, Connor was trying to pierce together an answer, not the easiest thing with a racing thirium pump.

“Fighting.”

Hank’s eyebrows went up. “Huh. Didn't take you for the MMA guy.”

Connor brought his hands up, shaking them in front of him. “It’s not like that! Just North and me-she’s a real firecracker, you know? Did I use that right? Doesn't matter- Point is that North and I like sparring from time to time or going to the shooting range.”

Hank slowly raised his head before letting it fall again. “Aha. And Markus is watching you guys doing that?”

“Yes! Yes, he does.” The smile from earlier returned. “One time he told me he wanted to paint me while I was shooting and wanted to hang up the painting because I looked ‘badass’.”

His cheeks gained a light blue hue. “And another time, we had a family visiting from Canada here and the little girl told us about her fox plushie that she lost. They left it in a motel, so I went to that motel and got it for her. Markus told me how much he loves how empathetic and caring I am.”

Connor’s smile widened, blue getting more saturated, hand going up to the back of his neck. “Sometimes, when it’s just the two of us, he likes to tell me that I’m precious.”

Hank leaned back, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised, smirk still proudly present. “You into that stuff?”

Connor blinked, LED turning yellow with a little bit of red. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You into that stuff? Praise?”

The android's mouth opened, but no sound came out. On the other hand, the blue on his cheeks only grew stronger and more and more red appeared on the LED. “I have no idea what you mean, Lieutenant.”

The other one rolled his eyes, head going with the motion. “Come on, you know what I mean. Don't you think I’ve forgotten that case at the Eden Club. We both know you aren't as innocent as others might think.”

Connor’s shoulders came up, mouth forming a straight line, voice sounding strained, “This is no topic to be discussed at work.”

Hank shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing, you know? Pretty tame, actually. Vanilla, even.”

Connor took a deep breath, eyes up to the sky, but doing nothing at hiding the blue from his face and neck. “I swear, if I’m going to self-destruct because of you, you’ll be charged with murder and spend the rest of your life behind bars.”

He didn't even say anything as he walked away, probably to return to his desk.

Hank chuckled. “Maybe you should call Markus, ask him if he’ll be there when your shift is over.”

Connor paused. Hank couldn't see his expression, back still turned towards him, but the laugh was unmistakable.

“Hank. Fuck off.”

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Project Blue Book

Nathan Bateman X GN!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • ko-fi • request info •

Summary: It's time Nathan gave you some answers.

A/N: Look, this is just me being silly and having a giggle.

Warnings: overuse of italics, swearing, not beta read, typos, talk of aliens and alien fucking, kisses, please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 978

“So when are you gonna tell me about the aliens?” You lean back in your chair, your heels on the table, your laptop perched precariously on your thighs. 

Nathan gives you a look over the top of his glasses, glancing up from the circuit board he was soldering. He eyes your comic slippers for a second, seemingly giving the frog designs an individual glare. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He sighs.

“The aliens.”

“The what?”

“Aliens, UFOs? I’ll look up a dictionary definition for you if you’ve never heard the word before.” You tease and he scowls. 

“I know what the word means dumbass.” 

“You sure don’t seem like you do, or is this part of a test?” 

He sighs. “What?” 

“A test? You know, keeping stuff top secret? Deep throat? Cigarette smoking man?”

He rolls his eyes and goes back to his work, “You watch too much X-Files.” He grumbles.

“Yeah, but you got the reference.” 

He smiles in spite of himself. 

“So, when are you gonna tell me about them.” You put your laptop on the side, your feet on the floor as you roll your chair closer to him. 

He doesn’t look up. “I say this with all the energy I have: what the fuck?”

“Blue Book.” You lean closer. 

He pauses soldering, an unimpressed look crossing his face. But you know he loves the attention really. 

“Aliens. What’s the deal?” 

“Are you high?” 

You snort.

“Because if you are,” he gives you another glare, “I want some.”

“Project Blue Book, it’s a code name by the American air force about UFOs.”

He gives you a blank look.

“Are you seriously telling me you didn’t know?” You pause, “you’re such a sci-fi nerd, I highly doubt it.”

He puts the soldering iron down. “Did they breach my copyright? Have I got to send a cease and desist?” He sounds sincere, but you know Nathan. What he sounds like doesn’t mean anything. 

“It was like a term in the fifties, I doubt you’d be able to sue.” 

He shrugs, “I could try.” 

You groan and flop back into your chair, “Are you for real? You really didn’t know? I was so sure you got some secret alien communications.” You pout playfully, “I was hoping for some nonsense about your androids really being made so you could send them into space to talk with extra terrestrials.”

He frowns, “And why would I send androids?” 

“Because they wouldn’t age when you gotta travel like, 50 million light years or something.” 

“What’s the point in contacting aliens if I don’t get to meet them and fuck them?”

“Nathan!” You snort, despite trying to keep a straight face. 

“What?” He shrugs again.

You tut. 

“If there’s aliens I’m gonna fuck them.” 

You laugh, “What if they’re like Aliens aliens, trying to lay their eggs in you?” 

“Sounds hot.” He grins. 

You giggle and shake your head.

“Plus, the tongue is like another mouth, which I think,” he swivels around in his chair, giving you his now full, undivided attention. “Would give an amazing blow job and-”

“She’d bite your dick off.”

“Nah, nah, nah,” he shakes his head, “my dick’s too hard for that.”

You burst out laughing, “What?” 

“What I just said.”

“Nathan-”

“It’s rock hard at all times, could deflect bullets, it has in fact.”

“It has?” You can’t get over the silly expression he’s pulling. It’s stubble, a little glimmer in his eyes and a smile at his lips, but it’s so very endearing. 

“Sure, it’s saved my life, saved other people’s lives. Just,” he mimics hitting a baseball, “smacks the bullets right outta here. In fact, it’s super dangerous, because when it deflects them it actually makes the bullets go faster in whatever directly they’re hit, so,” he breathes in deeply, like this was a serious issue, “could hurt bystanders.” 

“Are you having fun?” You laugh, resting your elbow on his work table, your chin on your hand. 

He nods. 

“Fucking nerd.” You tease, grinning.

“Says you.”

“Says me?”

“You’re the one talking about UFO conspiracies.”

“Okay first,” you sit up, wriggling a little in your seat as you raise a finger, about to start on a shpeal. “Project Blue Book wasn’t a conspiracy, it really happened. I was just being a shit about the aliens bit, UFOs don’t mean aliens, they mean-”

He leans forward quickly and kisses you. 

The action takes you by surprise, how his lips feel against yours, how his beard brushes against you. He tastes a little of that stupid fennel toothpaste he uses, the one that he proclaims is the best for your gums but tastes like an overload of aniseed and salt. The one that you tried once and never again. The one that you tease him for using at any given opportunity.

But now you lean closer, your hand on his cheek as you lick into his mouth, trying to swallow down any essence of the taste. 

He groans a little as your tongue strokes his, his hum is pleasant as it vibrates into you. He slides his hand to your waist, pulling your chair even closer to him. The heat from his palm permeates into you, soothing your muscles, making you ease even further into his touch. 

When he pulls back after a long moment, he sighs. It’s the smallest, sweetest sound through his nose, a low grumble of contentment in his chest. He presses his forehead against yours for a second.

You swallow and he opens his eyes at the sound, moving back a fraction. 

“If I’d known that would shut you up, I would have done it ages ago.” He grins. 

You mock gasp, playfully pretending to hit him on the shoulder. “You’re the worst.”

He giggles, scooting his chair closer to you whenever you move away, “Don’t worry, I’ll kiss it better.” 

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

@romanarose @strangerhands @saturn-rings-writes @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho

@steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @lunar-ghoulie

@silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom

@alwaysmicado @mangoslushcrush @marc-spectorr @soft-girl-musings  @spxctorsslxt

@novarosewood

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[cherrari]

thank you to all the people who tagged me in this! i was originally not going to do it but i'm feeling manic so here we go. i am including every wip i can find in my folder no matter how little i wrote for it so i'm sorry in advance if something sounds good and then it turns out it's barely an idea. organized by ship because there's a lot lol

Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag as many people as you have WIPs. People send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then you post a snippet or tell them something about it!

lestappen

scentmates.com/findyourperfectmatch

max hiding being an alpha

anti-touch curse

one-way mind-reading

charles wakes up in the omegaverse and doesn't notice for like 6 days

actors au where charles punches max at the oscars

their fwb relationship gets leaked and their teams force them to pretend to be together for realsies <- there's actually 6 different docs with this exact idea. all with like 10k words in them

the opposite of alpha voice. omega voice

someone uncovers charles' r/aita post from 2019

android charles

accidental bonding

chalex

yuri (charles is bicurious edition)

yuri (charles doing alex's makeup edition)

yuri (alex hates all of charles' boyfriends edition)

race engineer alex

couple's retreat (they are not a couple)

girl charles boy charles boy alex

regular universe randomly turns into omegaverse and charles' dick falls off

sebchal

seb realises charles has been trying to fuck him since he was like 15

nasty gross girl charles het fic of my dreams

ferrari drivers get 24hr pussies whenever they win. ft. carlos cockblocking charles at the end

they get trapped in a cave together (literally) post-brazil

chewie

charles hooks up with all his teammates and. well

omega/omega forced bonding

lewis gets roped into a weird threesome with charlos

everyone thinks charles is knocked up

accidental bonding

charlando

yuri (yuri fic prequel charles pov edition)

yuri (yuri fic sequel seb pov edition)

yuri (girl alpha lando edition)

lando finds charlando yuri fanart and gets gender dysphoria over it

omega/omega where lando is uneasily attracted to charles' scent

charles gets turned into a lil mouse

accidental bonding

charlos

they broke up a year ago but carlos got into a car crash and thinks charles is still his boyfriend so he gives charles' number to the hospital

more forced bonding between teammates

wag yuri

charles mind games carlos into taking antipsychotics

accidental bonding

choscar

oscar's hormonal imbalance can only be cured by charles' pussy

oscar gets roped into starring in lando's student project film. 3 weeks later he's flying to la to star in an actual movie

oscar's public breakup does not go well so mclaren hires a paddock princess for him

charles wakes up as oscar's teammate. in mclaren :(

accidental bonding

landoscar

post-win lando wakes up with a pussy

lando walks in on oscar eating raw rabbit

lando's ao3 book club

lando thinks faking a relationship for clout would be funny but oscar doesn't agree so lando instead fakes a pining situationship

"carlando landoscar hellfic"

accidental bonding

galex

merc teammates

document titled "Copy of galex (real)(real)this one is real"

george presents at alex's birthday party then proceeds to hide it for like 15 years

[feychild1225]

wip game | tagged by @jez-bez @chaeul and @baby-droll(thank you!!! <33) | rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

Okay I think I have actually mentioned a lot of my WIPs already but feel free to ask me about any. Several are in progress on Ao3 and clueless kant is a chapter away from being finished.

my current wip titles are...

My Stubborn - alpha x alpha

TBNW - Mafia omegaverse

LITA - My Stubborn AU

THK - Mafia Kant

TBNW - Nerd Phu

TBNW - CEO!Cir

Pitbabe - shifter pack

THK - Clueless Kant

I am hoping to get to working on that last chapter of Clueless Kant tomorrow.

For Fun I decided to edit with a handful that will probably never happen but were ideas.

TBNW - Spirealm AU

HOB - Xie Lian amnesia fic

MYATB - Si Ming/Jin Bao omegaverse

Love Sea - Merman Mutt

LITA - Villain Rain

LITA - full android Phayu story (expanded kinktober)

There are many more but I thought these were some of the more interesting ones.

I will tag @gonardo-writes @copperstown @ella-norah and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure.

[dreamstar-moonlight]

Hey! I was wondering where I can find that drive for CaffeinatedFlumadiddle fics? I've been looking for a fic for about a year now and thought I was going insane, I just learned about the situation, it's so awful.

Hey anon!!!

First off, I'm SOOOOOO EXTREMELY SORRY for replying to this so ABSURDLY late -

I never imagined someone would send in an ask - to me, of all people! Because I've only ever seen Important People on Tumblr being sent asks, and I'm definitely not one of them!

So, uh - I actually made a detailed post with all the links to the now deleted fics, which you can find here,

But in case Tumblr messes up, and the link doesn't work, lemme copy-paste the contents of that post below:

1) Son of Sea Foam, originally published on Ao3

SoSF Google Doc Part 1 | Part 2

SoSF in pdf format

2) Descendants of Olympus, originally published on Ao3

DoD Google Doc Part 1 | Part 2

3) Highway To Hell (fic)

4) Hello Ocean, My Old Friend (fic)

5) Fishing in Alaska (epub) | archived Ao3 site

6) Stealing Shells (fic)

7) Google Drive folder of a bunch of fics and one-shots | 

8) Another mini-google-drive backup of a few fics 

9) Even more fics (there’s 70 of them here)

10) Almost all PJO and Merlin fics in epub format! Estelle series has series order in metadata.

To read epubs, good apps are Moon+ reader for Android and Calibre for PC. epub is a reflowable format that allows changing the font size, background, margins etc, and has title/author/series into embedded and sortable. 

11) Roman Percy | V2

12) A bunch of archived Tumblr posts

13) The entire tumblr (but on the archive website)

14) OneDrive link to download PJO & Merlin fics. 

Once again, my HEARTFELT APOLOGIES for not seeing this sooner!

Edit: @cmxlkaze brought it to my notice that the link to “Descendants of Olympus” Part 2 had been broken It's fixed now, though it took me a bit – sorry about that! If any of the other links get taken down or appear broken, do let me know, and I shall fix them immediately.

[chestnutisland]

Are you ready for our annual Chestnutfest?!

Posted a month in advance, I hope that's enough time for you lovelies to whip up something sweet to celebrate our favourite DBZ OTP♥ Please click Read More to view this year's details!

Happy creating everyone! And pls do share the post around!♥

As always, here are some guidelines.

Starting the 12th of September, upload your submission for the day's theme, note that 9/18 is a free space but you can also use the theme Indirect kiss for that day, and tag me so I can re-blog your marvelous creations! Please use the following tags in the first 5 tags of your post so I can see them in my tracked tags. They are the blog tag Chestnutisland and this years specific tag Chestnutfest2k24. You can also Mention me as @ chestnutisland (without the space) and I will get a notification.

Preferably upload the theme for each day on the actual day but if you can't or rather upload them all at the same time for example, or maybe can't finish on time for one of the days, or just want to participate for one or a few days, that's fine too. As long as you use the tag system I will see it.

Of course, this is Tumblr we're talking about so if for some reason I don't see your work, please send me a DM.

Of course, you are also welcome to use the submit post button to directly submit to me!

Any medium is allowed, art, fics, AMV's,moodboards, playlists, anything you can come up with.

Any rating is allowed, however for NSF(W)T works, please censor your work and use a link to a different website to view uncensored. Please use a Read More as well as a community label and tag appropriately. In example, Ao3 and Pixiv both allow these kinds of works.

No works that break up K18, please. And Absolutely No NTR or ANYTHING of that nature. I will not share it and I will instantly and permanently block you if you submit it.

Please use Tumblr's link feature for off-site fics like on AO3 or FF.net, use a read more if you post fiction directly to Tumblr, that way we don't clog up everybody's dashboards.

Other characters are allowed in your works, of course, hey the more the merrier right? But do make sure K18 is the main focus, please.

The exceptions to the above rule are submissions for 9/17. I decided to dedicate one day of the fest to Android 17 and/or Marron. You can focus on one of them for that day or both, as long as one of them is the focus it's totally cool. Oh and just in case and to be crystal clear because it is out there...**Do not submit Mar17 works, I do not condone those sorts of works for these two characters together!** Ship art of either of them with different characters is allowed as long as it is appropriate. For example, MarTen or 17xOC is fine.

As always, if you have any questions, just send an ask or DM my way, and I'll happily answer any you may have!

This post will be queued a few more times before the start of the fest.

[delugyu]

HI ! HI ! an ask for some of my favorite writers! Feel free to copy & paste and send to some of your favorite writers too!

To get more reads to fellow authors on moablr send some of your recommendations for authors and fics! lets revive moablr as much as we while also uplifting some awesome writing that we enjoy;

I. an author you'd recommend for dark content? and what fic in particular?

ii. an author you'd recommend for fluffy fics? and what fic in particular?

iii. an author you'd recommend for angst? and what fic in particular?

iv. an author you'd recommend for smut? and what fic in particular?

v. an author you'd recommend for strong plot and character dialogue? and what fic in particular?

omg i love this!!! my answers got super long because i can never stop raving about my faves hehe

I. an author you'd recommend for dark content? and what fic in particular?

aghhh i mean it would be outrageous if i didn’t mention yamqn by @wildernessuntothemselves . genuinely i think this fic might’ve played the biggest role in motivating ME to start writing. flawless plot, incredibly well-developed characters, sickeningly good smut, and also has a really good spinoff series! i’m also super excited for now see them burn in fire, which is currently in the works but a super dark fic for anyone interested!

this answer is another really obvious one but i can’t help it i’m part of the hive mind: @koqabear has some incredible dark fics. i’ve read pretty much her entire masterlist before i even made an account, but even since then i’ve gone back to reread several fics 😭 i’m so wildly excited for the psycho rich gyu drabble she’s working on right now like i foam at the mouth at the mention of it.

i read this SUPER good dark smutty fic by @dandelion-springs on ao3 (which you can find here!) that literally inspired me so much i started working on a dark fic of my own LOL. no but seriously i love how intense and passionate and twisted this was. soobin here is *chefs kiss*

ii. an author you'd recommend for fluffy fics? and what fic in particular?

i’ve legit been thinking for ten minutes and keep coming up blank cause i don’t really read strictly fluff 😭😭😭 i am literally so sorry omg plz

iii. an author you'd recommend for angst? and what fic in particular?

i loveeee angst… @niningtori has incredible angst fics, i really love an iron man—have i ever mentioned my love for android aus lol? ack i just loved gyu’s character there. violets are blue had me clutching my heart feeling like i was about to die bruh like… no but seriously i adore her writing style. the delivery of angst through blunt descriptions and frantic dialogue WHEW that’s how you do it!

@dawngyu has been proving herself time and time again to be suchhhh a strong angst writer. i’ve already raved about the archive and the slow surrender on this account, but those are seriously some staple angst fics of hers that i highly recommend. she’s got such a talent for putting you in a scene and making sure you feel each ounce of the character’s feelings. and my favorite thing to tell her is that she is a genius when it comes to making creative and interesting concepts. i could say a lot about raya, but her works can do all the talking for me. you will be SEATED once you start reading

from me to you by @gyorouis my stomach is literally twisting just thinking about it again… i will never forget the first time i read this: i put my phone down, blinked a tear from my eyes, and laid still on my bed for like five minutes 😭 heartfelt letters that are meant to portray hope are so gut wrenching. my heart is hurting again already see what this does to me?

iv. an author you'd recommend for smut? and what fic in particular?

telepathy by @agustdiv1ne changed my life im actually serious like i think about that fic at least once a week. the concept was so cool, and gyu was so wildly hot i was burning up. really goes to show how far dialogue will get you in a smut scene!! cause wow!! also i’m a sucker for watching beomgyu slowly get more and more desperate, so that was another fun part of this fic hehe

@beomie3 has a lot of good ones that i come back to a lot. i love how she incorporates fluff and smut in 2am, its so hot and cute and ugh i love it. fangs is ridiculously sexy and im due for a rereading of that whew is it getting hot in here?

i’m constantly looking back through @tyunkus account cause i love her hard thoughts so bad… amazon wishlist and perv have me clawing at my bed and leaving teeth marks in my bedpost. i feel so seen and understood looking at her posts… someone who matches my freak spiritually…

OH GOD i have so many more… @bamgyw wrote six nights and little red riding hood which are both so insanely good. their writing style is scrumptious and u must check them out

a mommy’s boy by @beomiracles gave me a change of heart regarding stepcest lmfao. bloodbound and collared are delicious and leave me lightheaded. vampire aus and hybrid aus are gonna do it for me every time, but she literally writes everything so well

v. an author you'd recommend for strong plot and character dialogue? and what fic in particular?

what can i say about tsfawc by @hyukascampfire that i haven’t said before… hehe no seriously i love this fic, it is such a standout with its beautiful world building and fascinating characters. absolutely incredible writing, i wish i could polish my speech pretty enough to convince everyone to read this, cause it’s such a staple txt fic in my eyes. the absolute pinnacle of fantasy aus this is so peak. i adore it and i adore her and i’m manipulating your brainwaves rn to make u go read her fics

not to make this a “let’s all hold hands and sing kumbaya” moment, but that’s exactly what i’m doing LMAO genuinely every author on this side of tumblr has something different and interesting and fun to offer, and i really haven’t even scratched the surface when it comes to highlighting the writers here. i’ve written and read for a bunch of fandoms, but this is where my heart is right now hehe and i love all the writers that take time out of their days to pump out content lol.

long ass answer so sorry but thank u so much for asking! this was super fun 😚🤍

[mnictasbcl]

Knowing who you are

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human Characters: Connor, Hank Anderson Relationship: Connor & Hank Anderson Tags: Fluff, Swearing, Aromantic Asexual Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Identity, Movie Night Summary: Hank and Connor watch a Hallmark Christmas movie together, and Connor ponders why he doesn’t feel this whole ‘romance’ thing.

OR: Connor is AroAce.

warnings: none notes: they watch a romance movie, but the focus is about an AroAce character Prompt: "identity" for @genworkjune event

Read the story on AO3!

Or, read below:

Friday nights, after a long and gruelling week of work, were what Hank had dubbed ‘Movie Nights’. He ordered in some sort of takeout (usually pizza) and kicked back on the couch as he and Connor found a movie to watch on the TV. Sometimes it was a classic or a favourite he’d wanted to share with Connor— indeed, the tradition had begun because he realised that Connor had barely any popular culture knowledge and had been horrified at the notion. Other times, they put on shitty movies and laughed at how bad they were. Like crappy romance movies, Christmas or regular ones, though Hank preferred the Christmas ones as “at least there’s something fuckin’ interesting about them”.

Their choice was as such tonight—a cheesy Christmas romance movie, titled An android for Christmas, a new title released that same year. It was about an android and a human who started off hating each other, the android being bought for the human (it was set pre-Revolution, and written by a human, of course) and the human wanting nothing to do with them.

“And I don’t need a fucking android, Susan!”

Hank snorted. “I’d relate to Tom if he wasn’t such an insufferable dickhead.”

“The movie has been on for ten minutes, Hank,” Connor groaned, watching as Susan gave Tom the android anyway and told him he could do with some company after his wife had died the year previous. “Susan doesn’t appear to understand grief very well.”

“You’re telling me. Didn’t Tom’s wife get killed by an android?”

Connor nodded. “Yes, his wife was knocked down the stairs by their Roomba.”

Hank laughed. “Still fuckin’ funny.”

“She broke her neck, Hank. She died.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t have died in such a funny fuckin’ way. I mean, come on, a Roomba. It’s not like this… what’s her fuckin’ name—”

“Sarah,” Connor supplied.

“It’s not like Sarah the android is anything like a fuckin’ Roomba.”

Connor nodded, glancing across at him. “Well, yes, but it’s not inaccurate to the way some humans treat or used to treat androids. Gavin still calls me a toaster whenever he gets the opportunity, and he still treats me as the walking equivalent of a coffee maker. Despite the fact I never even make him a coffee.”

Hank scowled. “Guess the movie ain’t too inaccurate about some fuckers then… I like to think it only took me a few days to warm up to ya. Of course, I did fuckin’ threaten to put you in a dumpster and set you on fire, but… character development, am I right?”

“Yes, you never did make real on your threat. Other than the Bridge incident, but I survived that unscathed.”

“Hey, hey, I was just uh… testin’ ya.”

Connor stared at him. “So you had no intention of shooting me when you pointed a gun at my head?”

Hank held his hands in surrender. “Well, no, cause you really did seem human. Now, if we were in some alternate timeline where you’d been an insufferable dick who’d actually followed Cyberlife’s orders then I might have… considered it…”

“Wonderful. Thank you for sparing this timeline’s version of myself, Hank.”

With a bemused shake of the head, Connor turned back to the movie.

Sarah was a cleaning android and during the next scene, she found Tom’s wife’s ashes and polished the urn. Tom lost his shit and stormed out of the room with threats about sending her back to the store she came from, but when Sarah followed him, they shared a heartfelt scene while ‘Here comes Santa Claus’ played.

“The fuck is this music choice for? His wife’s fucking dead, who gives a shit about Santa Claus right now?”

“That’s a record for amount of swears per sentence, Hank. Impressive.”

Hank flipped him off. “Hey, these movies bring out the worst in me, alright? They’re corny as all shit! Seriously, how is his grief being dug back up again cause for them to fuckin’… stare into each other’s eyes? What’s fucking Christmas-sy about all this?”

Connor watched as Hank ranted, smirking. “If you don’t like the movie, Hank…”

Hank shook his head. “I hate it. And I love it. We’re watching it.”

The movie progressed to a scene where Tom came home from work to find a meal prepared for him by Sarah, except there was something about it that made him wipe tears from his eyes.

Hank chuckled. “Heh, that’s me when you try and cook anything. Brings tears to my eyes because it’s always fuckin’ burnt and then my kitchen smells like smoke for days after.”

“As you might say, Hank, fuck you.”

Hank stared at him and gasped, ignoring the screen as Tom mumbled about the food being the same dishes his late wife used to make. “I am not gonna get used to ya fuckin’ swearing. Jesus Christ.”

Connor rolled his eyes, looking back at the TV, seeing Tom digging into the meal. His eyebrow raised as he called Sarah over, and then, she ate a piece.

“What? She’s going to die??”

Hank looked back to the screen, eyes going wide as he watched Sarah eating the piece of pie. “Holy shit. You think they had her spit it out afterward?”

But Sarah simply continued to eat more of it, and visibly swallowed.

Connor narrowed his eyes, and his LED span yellow as he researched the cast of the movie. He registered the information he found with a groan.

“Of course. They got a human to play the android.”

Hank’s jaw hung open. “What the fuck. There’s so many damn androids out there! Wh… why?”

Connor shrugged. “Maybe so they could get away with android physiology inaccuracies such as that an android could eat human food. They clearly didn’t consult any androids while writing the script.”

“What a shitty fuckin’ movie,” Hank groaned, leaving it on.

During the midway point, Sarah and Tom went outside to a tree lighting ceremony, and while there, they met Susan. Susan began to tease Tom about how close he’d gotten with the android he’d said he hadn’t wanted.

Tom vehemently denied it, but when Susan walked away, the camera made it very clear that Tom was gazing longingly at Sarah, who herself was staring up at the now lit Christmas tree with wonder in her eyes.

“It’s… it’s wonderful, Tom. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“You and tinsel,” Hank remarked.

Connor nodded. “I love tinsel. It’s one of the greatest wonders of the Christmas season. It—”

“Christ, here we go again. Me and my big fuckin’ mouth.”

“Tinsel is a wonderful decoration,” Connor continued, “it makes pleasant sounds and is nice to touch. It’s metallic and shiny and you can wrap it around anything; your bedframe, your windows, your doorway, your tree, your—”

“Can it, tinsel boy, you’re gonna miss the lovey dovey shit they’re doing right now!”

Connor glanced to the screen and watched as the two characters shared what was intended to be a touching moment. They stared into each other’s eyes, the lights of the tree reflecting a bright glow on their cheeks. They seemed to lean in a little closer, and then…

Tom pulled away.

Connor quirked a brow as he watched this scene play out. “What exactly were they going to do? Touch noses?”

“They were gonna kiss, dumbass,” Hank said, with little heat behind his words.

Connor’s LED span yellow as he registered this. “Oh. Well… why?”

Hank laughed. “The fuck you mean why? Like in every damn romance movie we’ve watched?”

Connor nodded, glancing down at his lap. “I know they always… do that. But I always wonder why. Why do they interlock lips like that?”

“Jesus fuck, that’s about the worst damn way of describing kissing… I don’t know. Cause it always happens in these movies, and they enjoy it?”

That made enough sense to Connor, he figured, nodding and dropping the subject.

But the subject wasn’t so easily let go as the movie reached its final scenes later on in the evening, getting to the point of dramatic tension as Sarah became a deviant and Tom questioned what to do with her. She was going to run away, and he wanted to stop her, but then he had a flashback to his wife falling down the stairs after tripping over the Roomba.

“God. That really is… shitty writing, huh.”

“Down she goes again…” Connor sighed. “Why was the Roomba on the top floor of the house? We saw it earlier in the flashback downstairs… they can’t climb stairs.”

“Deviant Roomba,” Hank suggested, “it grew legs and climbed up there specifically to kill her.”

With a chuckle, Connor looked back to the screen, watching as Tom came back to reality and Sarah was gone. He ran outside screaming for her, unable to see far ahead because there was a raging snowstorm.

“Why doesn’t he just fuckin’ phone her?”

“Yes… androids do have the ability to receive calls in their minds; it would make a lot more sense than running out into the blizzard.”

“Imagine there’s a Roomba outside and he fuckin’ trips over it and dies. And then they play fuckin’ Frosty the Snowman or some shit as he bleeds out.”

Alas, Tom did not die in the movie, instead catching up with Sarah just as she was about to board a bus that was heading out of the city. He pleaded with her not to go, and after some back and forth, she agreed. They stood out in the snow and embraced, before kissing.

Connor felt something in him recoil upon seeing this and turned his head to the side. It brought up that question again… why? Why did they want to do that? It seemed so… strange, and unreal to him. Imagining himself doing that with anyone—absolutely not, was his immediate reaction. He felt a cold feeling curl up inside him, clinging to his insides.

“They’ve finished kissing,” Hank told him, and Connor looked up to him, startled to realise Hank had noticed.

“Ah, I… I see…”

As the end scene played, neither of them were really paying attention to the movie anymore.

“So, I notice you always do that,” Hank began, “whenever the characters kiss you look away and look like you’ve bitten into a sour lemon, and generally you just seem kind of… I don’t know, uninterested in the romance in romance movies?”

“I enjoy watching them with you,” Connor assured, “they’re… humorous to watch. To see this fictional concept on the screen and tear apart the shitty writing and acting.”

“Fictional concept?”

“Well, of course. People enjoying the romance? I know that humans enter what they call romantic relationships, but… all this kissing and such, that’s just for show, isn’t it?” He titled his head. “I mean, no one actually wants and enjoys that, do they?”

Hank stared at him. After a long pause, he answered. “…I mean, yeah, they do. People enjoy that. Some people. They have romantic relationships where they kiss and all that shit.”

“I’m not saying people don’t enjoy relationships. Having a close partnership sounds pleasant. Someone who you get on with, to share your life with… but really, all of that, is it—”

“Yes. That’s… romantic attraction, Connor. It’s a real thing.”

“Oh.”

His LED spun yellow as he processed this. So what he saw on these romance movies, and between partners out in public, that was all something people felt. Some part of humans where they wanted these things, wanted these relationships with other people, it…

He didn’t feel that.

“Is there something wrong with me, then?”

“There is nothing wrong with ya, other than your cooking skills.”

“I’m being serious, Hank,” Connor complained, “I don’t… feel this ‘romantic attraction’ as you put it. I don’t think I can even describe what it is, I don’t understand how it can be such a part of someone’s experience, what it even feels like, I… but if this is a part of being human then why don’t I feel it?”

Hank placed a hand on his leg. “Alright then, seriously, there’s nothing fuckin’ wrong with you. Alright? Not all humans feel this. Some feel it in different ways, there’s a whole variety of different ways humans can feel or not feel it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you sound like you both don’t feel it at all and find it kind of gross.”

“Correct. Not in a judgemental way, but… I can enjoy those movies until they begin kissing, and yet while I enjoy them otherwise… the way this genre seems so popular among human media, among humans themselves… it’s frustrating. It doesn’t make sense. Why am I not like them?”

“Don’t need to be. So what if you don’t feel romantic attraction? It ain’t something wrong with you. If it helps, why don’t you use your android google brain and research a thing called bein’ ‘aromantic’. Swear I’ve heard that one from someone before…”

Connor nodded, LED spinning as he researched this term. A romantic orientation to describe people who do not experience romantic attraction. He tilted his head as he learnt that the A in acronym also stood for asexual, about people who did not experience sexual attraction towards others. He could relate to both terms, but in a way where they both seemed wrapped around each other in his core, in a way he couldn’t exactly describe but made sense as he found the term AroAce.

“That’s me,” he said, LED spinning back to blue as he exited out of his research. “There is a name for my experience… aroace… and other humans and androids seem to have… experience with this.” He glanced across to Hank, who was looking back at him with a smile. “Sorry, I…”

“Feel better?”

Connor nodded.

“Good. Want to watch another shitty movie?”

With a chuckle, Connor agreed. “Sure… but how about a different genre this time? Not that I don’t enjoy those ones, but…”

“Nah, I get that. Sumo slept through the whole damn movie; it must’ve been bad. Let’s put on something more interesting this time.”

“Thank you, Hank.”

He settled back into his seat, feeling a lot more at ease. It was as simple as that, really. He’d found words to describe the identity he’d felt all along and that was just… it. It was as comfortable as slipping into pyjamas at the end of the evening. Soft and cozy, and made just for him. He was happy. He—

“Hank, no, please don’t put Flushed Away on again! We’ve watched it seven times, I—”

“It’s a classic.”

Connor wasn’t sure what was worse: romance movies, or the 2006 DreamWorks movie, Flushed Away.

[falling-star-cygnus]

Hi! I just fell on your blog a few minutes ago and then went on to read all your stories about Billy Kid (my favorite character in ZZZ) so I immediatly followed you and now dying to read more because I am starved for good Billy kid stories you have no idea. AO3 hasn't done much yet about him, there are some good ones, but they are also too few yet, maybe in a few months. Hope you don't mind if I flood your ask box with request about him. I love him being in a bad situation and the rest of the Cunning Hares immediatly going into War Mode the moment someone mess with him without their knowledge. Or him just being cared for by the rest of the girls when he's not in a good shape, or injured, or well, you get the idea. Think you could do a story where Billy suffers a blow to the head during a mission which makes him temporary lose his memories about his time with the Cunning Hares so he still thinks he's a feared enforcer in the Outer Ring and thus acts more like the old him, who is very much implied to have been much less nice and more ruthless than his present self given that in one of his trust events he actually sends a death threat to a thug, and also an entire gang of thugs running away from him the moment they recognize him. Meanwhile Nicole, Anby and Nekomata are at a loss at how to deal with a much less nice Billy who doesn't remember them and is clearly more than ready to shoot anyone or anything for just being in his way and them trying to just bring back the Billy they know by trying to show him everything he's been doing with them, and also them worried about how different he was before meeting them and them not knowing him more than that and stuff. Would be interesting, if you want to write it of course. Also, do you plan to maybe put your stories about Billy (all the asks you got about him) on AO3? There is not enough Billy Kid content yet there, and I think you would help immensely, given your stories are all incredible and they are about our favorite android. <3 <3 <3, Of course, no pressure there, I'm just curious and wondering, feels like a shame to only see those stories on tumblr, but I'll totally understand and respect whatever decision you choose. Also love the work you put for your stories about the Billy asks, I drank them faster than a thirsting man in a desert suddently having access to water, I love you so much for doing this the internet needs more Billy Kid stories the android is gonna be my death and I am so ok with that.

RAHHH YOU'RE SO SWEET, WHAT?? -> oml, you fr got me close to tears over here <333

as of right now, i don't have an AO3 account- bc it never seemed like much of a priority to make one, but i might just bite the bullet and start posting over there now that you're hyping them up so much 😭 

of course, i'll still primarily post on here methinks, and i'll definitely write that request of yours too bc i genuinely love that idea [just in a different post to keep this from getting too long] but seriously, you're so sweet. thank you so much and request away!! <3 <3 <3

HC for the Road: When Billy gets super angry, like genuinely needs to blow off some steam before he snaps at the girls, he'll just kick or punch the nearest safely destructible item -> for example: the Hares' could be in a Hollow and they get stuck or something, and Billy's already had a bit of a rough day so he just kicks one of the thick metal pipes laying around to vent and accidentally sends his foot through it [and gets stuck like a cartoon] -> the rest of the Hares' are struck yet again with the reminder of "oh yeah, he's CHOOSING not to break our bones 😃"

[thesparklingwriter]

a technological affair

" And thus, his email was lost to the grips of hackers."

tags: modern au, pet names, gn!reader (use of wife), established relationship, zhongli cannot use a phone for the life of him, reader is an Apple enjoyer,

ao3 link | taglist | masterlist | next

As far as you’re concerned, Zhongli is the closest thing to perfection a man could ever be. Except for one very minor detail. He cannot, for the life of him, use a phone.

Which could be blamed on his 30,000 year old android, with a screen that barely functions and a cracked camera, and you really can't let him go out like that. So one day, as an advance on your anniversary gift for him, you decide to welcome him to the wonderful world of the iPhone.

“What’s this?” Zhongli says, opening the box carefully. “What have I done to warrant such a gift?” he holds the phone in his hands as if it’s a baby chick—you bought him one of the bigger phones, knowing his hands are large, and even still he could do with something bigger.

“You dropped your phone in the toilet and I can’t allow you to continue using it. You have to understand.” You grin. “So I got you a new one that actually works and when you tap the screen, it actually registers it.”

Zhongli looks at you with gratitude but also an inkling of confusion. What’s he going to do with this fancy, characterless lump of metal that he couldn't do with his old phone? “I appreciate this, my love, I really do. But I don’t know if this is going to be as good of an idea as you think it is.”

You scoff, pulling him into a hug. “Zhongli, I would like to actually hear my husband when I call him. I would like to understand the texts he sends to me. And I would also like to send him pictures of cute cats on Instagram.”

And of course, Zhongli couldn’t possibly deny you anything you ask of him, so he agrees to try to navigate this new phone with as much positivity and faith as he can possibly muster.

In the few weeks since you bought him the phone, he has managed to:

(1) Lock himself out of it. For a whole week. You asked him how he managed to do that and he didn’t seem too sure as to what he’d done. So you asked him if you could know his password and promised only to use it in situations like this. (And promptly cried when you realised his password was your birthday.)

(2) Get his email hacked. He’d approached you with excitement, saying: “Dear, look. I got an email saying I’ve won a Macbook.” To which you replied: “You can barely use your phone, we might need to leave the macbook on the back burner for a while. Who sent the email?”. The email was sent by vnweifgq@dfugf.com and contained a link, which Zhongli had happily pressed. And thus, his email was lost to the grips of hackers.

(3) Find the dictation and voice note feature, which is great. He gives you encyclopaedic updates to his day, which you read or listen to with genuine enthusiasm. This was what you bought him the phone for at the end of the day, right? The extra chance to connect with your husband?

(4) Get into the habit of sending you pictures of things that make him happy or that remind him of you. Which is essentially the same thing as far as he is concerned. You’ve also got used to sending them back.

(5) Make an Instagram account. He’s not great at it, but with some guidance, he manages to post some of the pictures he sends you.

(6) Accidentally message the group chat (you, Xiao, Ganyu, Madame Ping and some others use it to invite each other to dignified tea parties and movie marathons) his shopping list. The shopping list included all the things he was getting for you as part of your anniversary gift, so Xiao had to teach him how to delete the message so you wouldn’t see it.

But by the time your next anniversary comes around, he’s actually really good with it—he can use instagram better than you can (though he read the terms and conditions from start to finish and became very careful about how he uses it), orders things from amazon at least three times a week, and has a facebook group for fellow birdwatchers with about two hundred people in it.

Yes, he has all of his icons and text at the largest size possible, and yes, he refuses to use TikTok and favours Instagram reels, but when he’s on work trips or you’re visiting friends elsewhere in the world, it’s nice to be able to video call him and not feel as distant as you used to.

“I think this phone might have been the best gift you’ve ever gotten me, dearest.” he says one night, after discovering the kindle app, where he can find all the classic novels he loves so much without having to clear out bookshelf space.

You sit in bed together, simply talking about your respective days, both your phones banished to charge in another room. Of course, being able to use a phone doesn’t mean that you should at all times—the phone banishment rule had initially just existed for you, but the rules had to accommodate the new technical whiz in the house.

“What about the gift that is me?” you counter, nuzzling into his chest gleefully. He kisses you deeply, a smile on his lips as he pulls away.

“Nothing on this earth is better than the gift that is you.”

“Not even your group of birdwatchers?”

“I did get to see a wonderful example of a nearly extinct sparrow with beautiful colouring last week,” he teases. “But no, they could never be better than my beloved.”

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: you all have cael to thank for this hilarious prompt idea. this is why you should always make friends with people on tumblr they always slay.

taglist: @medusuu @aixaingela @thelonelyarchon @ainescribe

[bridgeybrainrot]

In light of some recent developments, I decided to have a go at my unwieldy bookmarks. And I thought, while doing so, how when I was trying to decide how best to organize myself, I was searching online to find tips on how to go about it. So I thought I might do a recap about how I personally categorize, bookmark, and filter, and I can dive in deeper if anyone is interested! (If you are, feel free to send an ask or a comment).

Generally speaking, right now, all I'm reading on AO3 is Polin so that makes my bookmarks a bit easier to tame. I know some save the stories they want to read as actual browser bookmarks, some do Marked for Later and then remove them from that when they finish, some use bookmarks, and some have 159 tabs open at all times like a chaos gremlin. And I mean that affectionately.

I started out with a system from the get go once I realized I was all in with Polin. I marked my to-reads as Marked for Later and bookmarked my finished reads. Then it was easy to see at a glance if I'd read something before. But I realized I couldn't really filter anything in my marked for later, and there wasn't a good way to organize that section at all. So I moved to bookmarking everything.

But not JUST bookmarking everything. I use bookmarking tags and browser plugins to make it an easier experience. Which is a good segue into the best part of bookmarking for me - Tampermonkey scripts.

These scripts have VASTLY improved my organization. There are some aspects of AO3 tagging, bookmarking and filtering that leaves much to be desired and where those needs aren't met, I've almost always been able to find a script to fill it.

If you've never used Tampermonkey, it's a plugin you can use for Chrome, Firefox and Safari (as well as likely other browsers) on desktop, and in some mobile browsers as well. I use Chrome on desktop and have my Firefox on Android dedicated only to AO3 use. It allows scripts to run when you are on certain sites and can change the look and functionality of those sites.

My faves are:

AO3 Fictracker

This script is AMAZING. It allows you to easily (as in, from your bookmark list!) tag a fic as to read, completed, favorite, or disliked. I don't usually use the disliked function but I have if I've accidentally come across a fic with a concept I won't enjoy reading that maybe wasn't explicitly tagged so I know off the bat. It makes it SO easy to then click on these filtered tags right from the menu bar.

w4tchdoge's AO3 Bookmark Maker

This fic makes bookmarks a breeze. It automatically adds a story synopsis when you add a bookmark (which you can customize) so in case a fic is deleted, you know what it was. I also LOVE their auto-tag button so I can tag my bookmarked fics with their word count and completion status, making filtering even easier.

ao3 savior/ao3 savior config

I use these scripts to filter out authors, tags and themes I don't want to see. For example, I don't really like reading dark!Colin. I also don't really care for A/B/O. So I use the ao3 config to add those to my filter list, and they don't show up in my searches or when I load the Polin tag, and also don't tell me that they're missing (because I know myself and my curiosity). There are other plugins and scripts that do this but this one seems the most customizable to me (for example, some only let you do actual tags - this one lets you do wild matches within tags AND within the summary)

AO3: Comment formatting and preview

This makes both commenting and previewing text SO much easier. I love it for commenting because you can easily add formatting AND it lets you add on your own commonly used or needed text (I have one for easy "Thanks for reading!" to add on to the responses I do for comments on my own fics). This is more a want than a need as far as ease of use and organization but I've really gotten used to it.

That covers a lot of what I use to organize my bookmarks, though I go more in depth when it comes to my filters and searches. I also have other scripts that I use on the regular that aren't essential, but that make my life easier.

Do you have a different way of organizing? I think it's a very personal thing, but I like hearing how others do this to see if I can tweak my own methods. I'll admit it, I'm a nerd!

I'll probably do a part 2, if for no other reason that it makes it a good resource to link to when I do get asked how I customize.

Unrelated but, you might think looking at this that I'm an organized person. And you would be wonderfully, horribly wrong. 💛

[rainbow-nerdss]

Water Damage

Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 8: Robots & Androids Buck/Eddie (9-1-1), 1k AO3 link

Eddie hates it here. 

It’s his own fucking house, but he hates it.

Ever since that… thing crossed the threshold, thanks to Christopher casually mentioning it in front of Eddie’s folks a year ago, and them deciding it was the perfect thing to surprise him with for Christmas. 

A robot.

A fucking robot. In Eddie’s home.

He hates it here.

He’s lasted a solid five years since the first iteration of these so called “Household Assistants” became mainstream, even though everyone he knew sang their praises, even though Chris had begged for one so he didn’t have to do chores. 

“We’ve gotten along just fine without one all my life, Chris, we don’t need one.”

“But everyone’s got one!” 

It hadn’t worked, even when Chris was seven years old with carefully honed puppy dog eyes, Eddie had resisted. So, naturally, his kid got clever and went over his head.

Eddie hates the fucking thing. It does the work just fine, cleans the dishes before Eddie has a chance to, makes the bed with crisper lines than he’d seen even in the army, it even cooks, though it only has a couple of pre-programmed recipes. 

So, maybe Eddie has taken to sabotaging it, just a little. 

Nothing awful, but he’s “accidentally” left magnets in his bed more than once now, and he’s become much clumsier than normal, his morning coffee spilling just as the robot happens to be passing by.

He just wants it gone. Every time he sees it out of the corner of his eye, the unnatural movements, the subservience, it makes his skin crawl. 

Eddie wants to look after himself. He likes looking after himself.

So, he sabotages the robot. 

Unfortunately, his parents had sprung for a pretty fancy insurance policy, on top of a tight warrantee, which means that every time the robot experiences a malfunction, no matter how small or obviously deliberate, it automatically pings the manufacturer, and they send out a repairman.

The repairman is Eddie’s second problem.

He obviously knows what Eddie is doing, but he refuses to just let the damn thing die. 

The first time he showed up, he stuck his hand out to shake Eddie’s, grinned and introduced himself as Buck, then immediately turned his attention to the robot. “Seems this poor little guy had a run in with some water damage! Let's get you fixed up, huh?”

The next time, it was “A magnet? Damn, buddy, you’ve got the worst luck!”

After that, he’d started shooting Eddie knowing looks. “How did you get spaghetti in there? You’re the most accident prone unit I’ve ever serviced!”

It doesn’t help that Chris has taken a liking to him, actually looking forward to his visit whenever Alfred breaks down — because of course he’s named the damn thing after Batman’s butler.

Chris sits himself at the kitchen table every time Repairman Buck, Eddie’s sworn enemy with unfairly nice arms, is over, and he regales him with stories about school and his friends, all while Buck undoes whatever sabotage Eddie hopes might be the final straw.

“You know, you don’t have to do this, man,” Buck says to him one day, after cleaning dish soap out of Alfred’s control panel.

“Do what?” Eddie answers, trying to look innocent. He does feel a little bad, dragging Buck out here every time. Alfred doesn’t even bother him all that much anymore, since Eddie has started cleaning as he goes, leaving very little for the machine to sweep out from under him. It’s mostly a habit by now, and he can’t say he hates how much Chris seems to enjoy Buck’s visits.

“Cut the poor machine a break, okay? If you wanna see me so much, just ask me out for coffee instead of pouring it on Alfred.”

Eddie turns red. “I don’t— That’s not why I—” 

Buck just grins, folding his arms across his (large, bulging) chest, like he’s just waiting for whatever excuse Eddie will come up with.

Eddie sighs. “Look, it’s— I never wanted Alfred. He entered this house against my will, and I really wish you were worse at your job so I could’ve done away with him a month in.”

Buck’s face fell. “Oh, I— I’m sorry, man, I thought…”

Buck thinks Eddie has been doing all of this for him. He thinks Eddie likes him. And Buck seems… disappointed, to hear that’s not true.

“I should um… I should go. I’ll send the apprentice next time, he’s terrible with water damage.”

Buck starts to leave, and Eddie is frozen, not knowing what to do.

He hears a sizzle behind him, and turns to see Christopher with an empty, upturned glass in his hand. 

Alfred is smoking.

“Buck, wait!” Eddie shouts, running to the front door. 

There’s Buck, just sitting on the top step. He turns, and Eddie drops to sit next to him. 

“You know, it’s the wildest thing — he’s already broken again. Maybe you should come back in and take a look?”

Buck frowns. “It’s—”

“And then maybe… Once Alfred’s up and running, we could get him to set an extra spot at the table for dinner? If you—”

Buck nods. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He stands and they go back inside. 

“Actually,” Buck says, halfway through yet another service. “I should admit something, before I’m done here.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, from where he’s sitting next to Chris, watching Buck work.

“I think these things are absolutely terrible cooks,” Buck says with a grimace.

“Not as bad as dad!” Chris insists. 

Buck laughs. “How about I get him fixed up, then I’ll cook for you.”

“You want to cook for us? After spending so much time working?”

“I like cooking. Besides, you guys are definitely my favourite clients.”

Eddie meets Buck’s eyes, sees the slight hesitation in his expression. He’d been nervous to ask this, Eddie realises. 

“Whatever you want, Buck.”

And he means it. He isn’t even annoyed when Alfred makes his stupid fucking whirring startup sound, because Buck jumps to his feet and asks if he can look around the kitchen. 

“Admit it, dad,” Chris whispers. “You’re kind of glad we got Alfred, aren’t you?”

Eddie messes up his kid’s hair and scoffs, but he can’t deny it.

The annoying robot servant is worth it, for bringing him Buck.

[jasper-the-menace]

top 5 rarepair ships?

Ask Me My Top 10/Top 5 Anything

I'm limiting this just to duos. In no particular order:

1: Falco Spara/Xander: A staple of my MTG fanfics. I love these fucked up little dudes. There are four fanfics for them on AO3 and I am the author of all of them. Great husbands, decent dads, fantastic family heads, please for the love of the gods let them rest. Other MTG ships of note: Jirina Kudro/Lukka (only one fanfic on AO3 and it's also mine), Elspeth Tirel/Ashiok, Elspeth Tirel/Vivien Reid, Chandra Nalaar/Nissa Revane (Gruulfriends for the win!), Jace Beleren/Vraska

2: Gamma 1/Son Gohan: Look. We're all a sucker for some G2/Piccolo, but let's not forget that Gohan put his hand in an android's mouth for literally no reason. Eight fanfics on AO3, luckily I'm not the author of all of them (just most of them so far). Other Dragon Ball ships of note: Yamcha/Vegeta, Gamma 2/Piccolo, Yamcha/Frieza (which is actually pretty popular for a rarepair, it's climbing its way up)

3: Dragonborn-aka-Listener/Cicero: Look, I don't believe we can fix him, but we can at least make him more fucked up in a more interesting way. I'm a solid supporter of Cicero gettin' some. Probably the least rare of the rarepairs here, but I'm counting it because I haven't always found ones I enjoy. Other TES ships of note: Balgruuf the Greater/Irileth (I'm a sucker for bodyguard romances, okay?)

4: Spinlyn/Crooler: I am literally the only one writing this and I'm a sucker for a toxic as fuck sapphic dynamic that is somehow also wholesome. Let them be evil together! Other Chima ships of note: Scorm/Scolder, Laval/Li'ella, Laval/Cragger, Eris/Li'ella, Eris/Rogon, Eris/Razar This whole show is rarepair hell because the fandom is itty bitty.

5: Eoleo/Amiti: Look...I'm a simple person...you give me a fire/water pair AND a worldly pirate/sheltered prince pair and I'm gonna froth at the mouth over it. Easy.

Thanks for sending this in!

~Jasper

[quilthegreat]

Cut Content for Cute Humans!

just gonna hop on here rlly quickly before bed and post some bonus cut-content from Crash & Burn! (& warning for android gore =P ) didn't think there was enough in here to warrant their own bonus chapter on the Fic's AO3, since i only started cataloguing cut content halfway through writing it (o7 lost scenes, fly high) but still kinda liked some piece-meal from the bitties hiding in here sooo-- ENJOY

(ordered by when i cut them out NOT by chronological order) (also if you recognise any of this it's cause i recycled some in PBP =] remember kids-- reduce reuse recycle! \o/ )

CRASH & BURN:

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And all at once there is an eruption of squealing, hissing static from in front of him and Connor is twitching wildly, looking far too close to how a seizure would in a human, his chest trying to heave but unable to take more than a weak gasp with a sickly metallic grinding sound. His LED begins strobing frantically, whiplashing between bright, a too bright blood red and terrifyingly close to blank.

“Connor! You’ll hurt yourself, you gotta keep still!” He reaches out and pushes a hand to Connor’s bowed cheek. It’s cold, even for an android, and slicked with far too much Thirium that sticks to Hank’s palm as he lifts Connor’s head with a gentle but firm grip to finally get a good look at his face.

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A painful and long pause follows, and Hank simply can’t give the fucks to break it.

Eventually dragging his heavy eyelids back open, Hank’s gaze is magnetically drawn to where Connor lies, still gripped by shuddering spasms, sporadically gripped by a full-body convulsion that sends his back arching from the floor until he's supported only on his shoulders and ankles. Each time, a gut-wrenching shrieking noise rips itself from the android’s throat.

Occasionally, Hank catches a glimpse his now screwed-shut eyes and feels sick.

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If there's one thing Hank's learned from his years in the Red Ice division, it's that the newer and more influential the drug-lord, the exponentially bigger the ego that accompanies.

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And all of a sudden, Connor is writhing against the wall with frenzied desperation, head throwing back into the concrete with a sickly crack and a choking squeal of inhuman noise that makes Hank's gut twist. Bubbles of Thirium froth at the corner of his mouth and run down his cheek, sickly blue against the translucent paleness of his artificial skin.

Behind him, Hank hears a sharp gasp from Person, but he doesn't have the time to pay it any mind. Diving forward, he grabs at (seriously, me, how many times are you gonna try & rewrite this same scene LOL)

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<3

check out the actual Fic here!--

[apricity-writes]

May I introduce Ellipsus!!!

(As many other people in the tags have said, but I'm going to take this as a general moment to pitch)

I'll do you one better than subscription based. Its accessible from multiple devices *while being completely free.* It also has very little lag between the devices! I have had it pulled up on my phone and computer at the same time, and typed into my computer to watch it show up on a few second delay in my phone!

Online saving indeed! (Also why/how it is accessible through multiple devices). Unfortunately, it does not have any offline mode available, but i have a secondary writing program I keep different ideas in for when I know my connection is going to be nonexistent/sketchy for a while.

It does have the option for folders in folders!! (I know cause I use them extensively lol). This is especially helpful when I'm trying to group together ideas that are connected, but may not need to all be in a single document together.

Because it is actually a website, it is available on both android and ios. They do have plans in the works to create a downloadable app, but as of currently I followed the steps on their website to have a pseudo app/home screen shortcut on my phone (though I do not know how well it would work on an apple product)

Now to address the preferences!

Like I said earlier!!! Completely free!!!! So there's no need to worry about a payment plan!

Unfortunately, it doesn't have any goals system at this point of time, though the ellipsus team is working on new updates all the time, so if enough crowd interest was built for it it might be something that could come into existence! (I circumvent this lack of goal/reminder by actually having a daily mode set in my phone to remind me to write). I would love some kind of word tracking capability at some point, but at the moment it's not an option.

Three. Different. Dark modes. I personally keep it in Nature mode (keeps my screen all cute and green ♡) but it also comes in Dark and Ultra Dark! (You can also change the fonts you write with!)

They do in fact have writing sprints!! Ellipsus will time *and* do the math for you on how many words you added during that time! I like to write with a friend of mine and we'll sync our sprint timers to go off at the same time, its really fun

And just another note that I love, they have a Collaboration system that makes it really easy to send off documents to Editors/Beta readers, as well as a comment and chat system so that direct communication can all happen on the program as well! 10/10 i love it so much for being able to share things with my Beta reader and get her feedback.

Anywho. I just really love Ellipsus. I do like 95% of all of my writing on it now and it has a lot of tools that positively impact my writing experience.

(Also you can export directly to Ao3)

Alright guys I NEED to get my writing off of google docs (fuckin ai sellouts) and into a proper writing app / website.

Anyone have good suggestions?

MUST list:

Must be subscription based so I can access it from multiple devices.

Must have online saving in case my device breaks.

Must have a decent filing system (I like to put folders inside folders if that makes sense)

Must be compatible with Apple products.

Preferences:

If there is a payment requirement I worked vastly prefer it to be a one time payment rather than a monthly or yearly subscription.

I would love for it to have ‘goals’ as one of the features. Especially if it can send me notifications and pester me to write on days I’ve chosen. Percentage tracking is great.

Dark mode works be lovely. Dyslexia bothers me less when I can adjust the ‘page’ color display.

Timers. I’d love if I can do writing sprints in-app.

Hit me with your top recs??

I appreciate you all!

[tough-girl9]

Five Moments of Feeling

Summary:   Five moments in which Data experiences emotion and becomes just a little bit more human. A "if Data hadn't gotten the emotion chip" AU.  

Part 1: Humor

Part 2: Contentment

Part 4: Offense

Part 5: Saudade

Also posted on AO3 and FFN

A/N: Keiko and Data’s friendship is criminally underrated, so I am fixing that wrong :)

Five Moments of Feeling Part 3: Pride

The third moment was in the Arboretum.

Keiko O'Brien was tending the finicky Talbroan fern that she had picked up at the last star base. The poor thing had been on the brink of death, its pale pink stems nearly translucent and the foliage withered and brittle. It needed precisely a fourth of a liter of water a day; just a few milliliters too much or too little would send it spiraling back into a state of disarray. No wonder they were practically extinct in the wild, Keiko thought as she carefully trimmed off a dead frond and continued her search for other signs of unhealth from the bushy plant.

The sound of the Arboretum doors whooshing open distracted her from the fern and she glanced up to find Data making his way around the potted bushes and shrubs towards her. She bounced up from her squatting position and gave her android friend a cheerful wave. "Data! Over here!"

He acknowledged her with a little nod and crossed the bridge that spanned the artificial stream that watered the main plot of the Arboretum. He stopped beside her and examined the Talbroan fern, making a small sound of interest. "It seems that your fern is recovering admirably since it came into your care. Are you pleased with its progress?"

Keiko grinned at the sincere interest in his voice. Tugging at the cuff of his sleeve, she encouraged him to kneel with her in front of the plant. "She seems to be doing wonderfully. You know, I wasn't sure for a little while there if she was going to make it, but look." She lifted up a large frond, revealing a small green bulge at the fern's base. "Talbroan ferns need to be in nearly perfect condition before they grow pods. If everything goes right, in a month or two, I should be able to harvest the seeds and incubate them in the botany lab. By this time next year, I could have four, five, maybe even more new ferns. It'll be a wonderful opportunity to study their life cycle and maybe even start a project to reintroduce them to Talbroa II."

Data nodded solemnly and looked at her with soft, serious eyes. "I am quite sure that under your competent care and with your passion for the project, it will be a success."

Keiko couldn't help the broad grin that spread across her face, and she pushed his shoulder fondly. "Well, somebody's been learning the human art of flattery."

Data gave her a mournful look of confusion, his lips curving into a slight frown. "My intention was not to offer unfounded accolades. The sentiment was entirely sincere."

"I know, Data." She patted his arm, still smiling. "I was just giving you a hard time."

"Ah," he responded, still looking mildly confused but no longer visibly concerned that he might have unintentionally insulted her.

Keiko stood and Data followed suit. "And how about your project?" Keiko asked, brushing off the knees of her gardening trousers. "How is the Vendikarian orchid doing?"

Data tilted his head to the side, his expression non-committal. "The orchid is in fact the reason why I decided to 'stop by'. Although it is not showing any signs of deterioration or wilting, it has yet to produce a blossom, which by my calculations based on the research I have done on this particular breed, it should have done three days ago. I wished to ask your advice on what I might be doing wrong. Would you be willing to examine it?" "Of course, Data." Keiko smiled warmly at him. "But I suspect you're being too hard on yourself. Actual botany isn't nearly as nice and neat as in a book, and plants don't do exactly what they're supposed to do exactly when they're supposed to do it any more often than people do. Isn't that why you wanted to look after the orchid yourself and get a taste of caring for a plant? To have the first-hand experience instead of just reading about it on the ship's computer?"

Data nodded. "That is true. So far, the act of researching versus engaging in the actual experience has been significantly disparate."

They headed over to the far side of the Arboretum together, following the winding stone path between the alien flora until they reached a row of potted plants by the side wall. Data knelt by one of them. "I have been watering it the recommended every third day, all well as providing it approximately fifteen to seventeen hours of artificial sunlight each twenty-four hour period. What is your opinion on its health?"

Keiko knelt beside her friend and examined the orchid, noting the rich, dark green color of the stem and the paler green of the large flat leaves with deep purple veins. "It looks perfectly healthy to me, Data," she said, squeezing the stem to test its firmness and running the leaves between her fingers to check for dry or wilted spots. "From everything I can see, it looks like you're doing a wonderful job with it."

The corners of Data's mouth perked into a little, pleased smile. "Do you truly believe so?"

"Yes, I do," Keiko replied with a smile, still checking for any signs of ill health, though she expected to find none.

Data gave a decisive nod. "Then I will trust to your superior personal experience on this particular topic and proceed with my watering and sunning routines as I have been doing so far."

Keiko was about to reply when she felt an object different than leaves or stems hidden behind the back of the plant. "Data," she said, pulling the leaves back, "look at this."

As she gently parted the leaves, the hidden growth was revealed. The orchid had produced a delicate stem, on the tip of which was a small bud with lovely pale orange petals peeping through the green casing. Data reached out to touch the bud with a gentle, almost reverent, brush of his long fingers. "It is preparing to blossom," he said softly.

Keiko gave him a fond glance and put a hand on his shoulder. "See, I told you not to worry," she teased gently. "It was just a late bloomer is all. I knew you'd be as good a plant parent as you are a cat parent. It looks like you've done a wonderful job with her, Data."

Data didn't reply, his hand still outstretched with his fingers just barely touching the plant, his body completely still. Keiko tilted her head and rubbed his shoulder. "Data? Are you OK?"

Data closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "I…" he began slowly, "I…believe that I am experiencing a new emotion. One I have not felt before."

Keiko grew still, her face serious, knowing how much an experience like this meant to her android friend. "A new emotion? What do you think it is, Data?"

He shook his head again, eyes still closed, a look of intense concentration on his face. "I am uncertain. It…seems to be a positive emotion. I am happy that I have been successful at my endeavor in this area, but it is more than happiness. I respect your abilities and knowledge as an exobotanist and therefore place a greater level of gravity in your opinions on this topic than I would my other friends. The emotion seems to somehow be related to this respect I feel for you. I feel that I have been successful at accomplishing a goal, that I have done something that I set out to do and that I have done it well. Within the current context, I am unsure which emotion might be the best fit for what I am experiencing."

Keiko's smile had steadily grown as she listened to Data talk. As he finished, she leaned over to him and spoke in a quiet voice. "Try 'pride', Data."

Data's eyes flickered open, though they remained thoughtfully lowered, his head still tilted curiously. But after a moment, his golden gaze darted up to her face, his own features calm and content. "Yes," he said slowly, "yes, that feels right. I am proud."

Keiko hooked her arm around his, grinning. "As you should be, Data. As you absolutely should."