#seriously...7 articles on your front page with the same person

[visionsof-la]

thank fuck i can read french so i can go to french vogue rather than suffering through the dua lipa onslaught of british vogue rn

[shinsousbedroom]

Stars and their Distance

Daiya no Ace misawa FWB AU, 1/10 chapters

Miyuki Kazuya, a depressed, workaholic catcher in the NPB, and Sawamura Eijun, a frustrated influencer who just got dumped, are both looking for temporary distraction. The casual, no-strings-attached friends with benefits thing they stumble into is exactly that.

Well, it would be if either of them knew how to do casual.

[Read on AO3.]

Chapter 1: Spinning

Excerpt from “Ace of Hearts: a blog about when love comes outta left field!; Q&A: Bad Break-Up Blues”

“[…] Think of relationships like this. You’re a pitcher on the mound and there’s a line up of batters waiting to knock your ball outta the park. These are your dating prospects. When you’ve gotten hurt pitching before—tore a tendon, drilled the batter, balked, whatever it was—you might not wanna pitch again, right? But the only surefire way to lose the game is to not throw the ball at all. 

“You might be thinking, ‘But Eijun, if the batter hits a home run off your pitch, aren’t you losing the game?’ Well, if you think the point of the game is to win, sure. But to me, the point of baseball isn’t victory. It’s playing the best game you can with the best players you can. The same can be said for love. Some batters will foul out early, and some runners will never make it all the way home. But when you make that connection, when that bat slams the ball out of the park and the whole field feels the electric rush of a phenomenal play that you helped make—isn’t that a beautiful moment to chase after? Isn’t that feeling worth the risk that comes with love?

“So no matter how unlikely a batter steps up to your plate—and there will be batters you didn’t anticipate—throw the pitch! I promise, every strikeout and home run just makes you a better pitcher and brings you a step closer to a beautiful game. […]”

***

“Did you have to move right after the end of the season?” Kuramochi wiped off the sweat from his face with the bottom of his blue shirt. The whole thing was already drenched dark, consistently doused with water the whole day through as Kuramochi drained bottles over his head to beat back the unseasonably hot September day. “Take a fucking break first, Miyuki.”

Kazuya spat out a handful of screws. The bitter, metallic aftertaste clung to his mouth. “Why delay?” he said, tossing the instruction manual for his shelf to the side in frustration. It skittered across the hardwood floor and into Chris’ calf. 

Chris plucked the booklet up and thumbed through the pages of mildly helpful pictograms, eyeing them warily against Kazuya’s clear lack of progress. “Yeah, Miyuki. Why delay?”

Kazuya shot Chris a sour look and flopped back onto the ground with a groan, defeated. “Not like we’re busy during postseason this year.” 

They sighed in unison, united in the bitterness of loss. 

At least Chris’ team had been only one out from the Climax Series. The Swallows hadn’t come close, and even though it was expected from a rebuild year, the loss still rankled. Small mercies, though: Kazuya could rub in the fact that the Swallows hadn’t been last place in their league unlike the Mariners. 

Suck it, Kuramochi. He’d take his victories where he could.

Kazuya stuck his hand into the air, spreading his fingers wide as the overhead lights filtered between them. “Anyway. Moving is work, and you all banned me from working for the next four months. So really, I’m being responsible here.” His hand flopped down next to him with a hard thunk. 

Kuramochi trudged over, heavy steps echoing through the empty apartment, until his head popped into Kazuya’s vision, arms crossed and scowl fierce. “If you wanna try to fight this again, just give me a fucking reason to pin you into a headlock until you’re crying for mercy.”

Kazuya grabbed at his ankle, rolling onto his stomach for a second swipe as Kuramochi danced out of reach. 

“You can’t pull a fast one on the cheet—AH!” 

His ankles caught the edge of the shelf boards, knocking Kuramochi onto his ass. The wooden slats scraped across each other as they slid out of their neat stacks, thumping and scratching the floor until they were criss-crossed between Kazuya cackling into the floor on his stomach and Kuramochi, shocked and sprawled across the debris.

“Fucking build your furniture, Miyuki!” He cradled his foot in his hands, holding it up to inspect as he twisted it every which way. “We’re not doing the same thing as last time, when it took you a full year to finally put all your shit together.”

The weight of apathy slid back into Kazuya’s limbs, edging out the laughter that had given him a moment of relief. “What if I just didn’t?”

“Is that what you want?” Chris replied evenly.

He lolled his head towards Chris. Despite the heat, Chris had spent all day in a black turtleneck, never once hinting he was even mildly uncomfortable even at the peak of the day’s heat, lugging in heavy boxes from the sun-warmed streets. Now sitting on the floor among bubble wrap and crumpled paper, legs kicked out in front of him and waves of brown bangs framing his face, he still looked as wholly put together as ever. 

Even when Kazuya knew beyond a doubt Chris was the epitome of keeping a stone face even when he was going through the worst of it, he still couldn’t help but be jealous. 

Kazuya went back to staring at the unfamiliar gray tiles on his new ceiling. “It would be pretty funny to leave my apartment unfurnished to spite Kuramochi.”

“Finish the shelf.” Chris tossed the manual back. 

“Kominato’s the one who left the task half-done,” Kazuya said, closing his eyes, overwhelmed in a sudden wash of fury and helplessness. 

He opened his eyes to see Kuramochi and Chris hovering above him again. Both their brows were furrowed, Kuramochi’s fist clenched at his collar, Chris frowning mildly. 

“I’m fine,” Kazuya said brusquely.

They glanced at each other, then back at Kazuya. 

He sat up, forcing the other two to reel back to avoid knocking their heads together. “I’m 27, not 7,” he said, testily. “I don’t need to be put under a watch, I’m a grown ass adult.”

“We aren’t gonna—we can’t sit to the side and watch you nearly kill yourself from overwork again this off-season.” 

“Don’t exaggerate—“

“You said you had it together last year, but you didn’t. So you’re getting strict rules this year,” Kuramochi tugged at his hair, a frustrated sneer on his face. “The Swallows and your agent both know not to let you pile on more than your bare minimum until preseason. And the rest of us are going to check on you regularly because we care about your health, even when you don’t. Got it?”

“It’s not overwork,” he said, falling into the same argument that had been chipping away at him for a year now. 

“Then what is it?”

The only coping mechanism that works. The only way I can pretend to feel anything off the diamond. The only thing that makes me tired enough to sleep at night without baseball 24/7.

He settled on: “It’s just work. Making a living, some might say.”

“Hard to do that when you’re stuck in a hospital bed.”

“That won’t happen again. I was just stressed and tired and a bad day caught me off guard.”

“Yeah, it won’t again because we’re gonna help make sure the off-season doesn’t wreck you again after a long history of hiding your fucking problems until they explode.”

“At least you can’t take conditioning away from me.”

“Follow the plan your trainers set for you.” Chris’ voice cut into Kazuya’s stubbornness. “Please don’t joke about this with me.”

After a moment, Kazuya nodded his head, brusque.

Kuramochi rubbed the back of his neck, trying to break the awkward air that had sprung up between them. “Isn’t exercise supposed to help depressed people? Boost your serotonin up or some shit like that?”

“Just my luck it doesn’t,” Kazuya muttered. He cleared his throat. “Can we go back to harassing me about how bad I am at unpacking?”

“We wouldn’t harass you if you just did it.” Kuramochi stood back up and kicked at a box as he went back to sweeping the floors. “Unpack before the season starts up again. You have nearly five months. If you’re feeling feisty, try decorating your apartment, too.”

“My entire personality is baseball. I don’t care about interior design. Or anything else, for that matter.”

“You used to. Pick up your old hobbies. Bring out that telescope you had at back at Waseda. Read a memoir. All the shit you can’t do during the season, drag ‘em out into the open again.”

The wrong answer, he knew, was to reiterate that he didn’t care about any of that anymore. Seriously. “You two are busy-bodies.”

Chris handed him the power drill then returned to the pile of securely wrapped glass kitchenware. “It’s called friendship,” he said, bubble wrap crinkling.

“This is ridiculous.”

“Just try, Miyuki. Please.”

“Sure,” he said, flippantly, knowing the lie didn’t pass unnoticed from the sag in Kuramochi’s shoulders. He thumbed through the instructions, pushing aside the guilt welling into his throat. Kazuya needed this conversation to be over. “Chris-senpai, where’d you put the drill bits?”

***

“Hjnhbgfgvbhnjmknjbhgvfdbghnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj” wasn’t the most eloquent start to Eijun’s next blog post. Of course, Eijun normally didn’t start his articles by rolling his face across the keyboard in frustration, but considering how little he’d written in the past week, this was as good a draft as any.

Eijun’s eyes flung open as the laptop shifted from under his face, tipping his head off to thunk into the table. He rubbed at his forehead, and blinked up to find Harucchi tapping delicately at the keyboard while the other hand balanced the device in the air. “Eijun-kun,” said Harucchi, peering from around the screen, “not your finest work.”

Eijun sat up and scowled, the lines of his face scrunching against the keyboard indents on his skin. “What would you know about it?” 

“I’ve been editing your posts for years,” Harucchi said. He settled the laptop in front of Eijun, then settled into the chair across from him. “If you’d like me to stop now, I can happily use that time in other ways.”

The dishes rattled when Eijun slammed his palm onto the table. “You’re not allowed to ditch me like that!” 

Harucchi raised his eyebrows. “Says the man who’s been avoiding me.”

A double blow of panic and then confusion struck him. He frowned and swiveled his head around. Snaking line at the counter, coffee scenting the air, a low hum of incomprehensible chatter: this was definitely the coffee shop he’d just discovered this morning and came to by himself and didn’t tell Harucchi about. “How’d you find me?”

“You should stop posting your location on Instagram if you don’t want to be found,” he offered with a gentle smile.

“You don’t live anywhere near here.”

“A teammate just moved to the neighborhood. It was pure luck I happened to be there while you happened to be here.” He ran his fingers against the edge of a plate by Eijun’s elbow, empty of all but crumbs. “It’s a cute shop. New haunt for you?” he asked, a touch too casual.

Eijun averted his eyes, lips pinching. He knew what Harucchi was really asking. “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t ask that.”

“I’m doing fine,” Eijun insisted. “Really.”

“I’m glad you stopped feeling obligated to go to the other cafe.” His voice was barely loud enough to reach Eijun, covered by the clatter and call of employees, and a particularly rowdy group of seven students packed at a four person table next to his little corner.

“The old place got too many baristas who sucked,” Eijun lied. As if Harucchi didn’t already know that he’d only just shoved his pride aside enough to accept he’d lost his favorite coffee shop to the break-up. “Had to find a new one.”

Harucchi pried open the plastic lid to his coffee, blowing at the steam rising from the cup. He drew in a long, slow slip of his drink. “Maybe a fresh start here means a fresh start with the blog. Talk about grinding new beans, or something…?” Eijun blanched, well aware that Harucchi’s innocent reputation was a front. 

“If you think I am going to subject my loyal followers to love advice using bean grinding as the topic—”

“You’ll have to excuse me if you had an idea in mind already. I’d thought from the keysmashing that you hadn’t.” Eijun aimed a kick at his shin under the table. Without looking, Harucchi crossed his legs, as if he’d planned on it for that exact moment all along instead of the attempt to dodge Eijun’s ire that it really was. “Is there a reason you can’t find an appropriate topic for your next post?”

Eijun cheeks puffed out, determined for two whole seconds not to tell Harucchi the truth, before blurting out, “I promised Wakana we’d wait a few months before officially announcing we broke up.” And yep—there it was, that classic Kominato passively skeptical look that circled past nonjudgmental so thoroughly that it ended up aggressively intimidating. The one that meant Harucchi was seconds away from bulldozing through all the nonsense he was seeing ahead of him. Eijun lived in terror of it. “She wanted to give us a chance to recuperate in private first,” he muttered, defensive. 

“Eijun-kun.”

“I know, I know! A smart idea for people like Wakana, but I don’t…like wallowing like this. I can’t keep sitting here thinking about how much she doesn’t want me, and it’s all I want to write about. But I can’t post any of it. It’s been nearly two months, and I haven’t moved on. I’ve just gotten madder.”

“You two didn’t consider posting a small announcement saying you were over but you needed time? Space?”

“I couldn’t ask her.” Eijun subsided, spinning his teacup in its saucer with a single finger hooked through its tiny handle. “I owe her, Harucchi. The only reason I started lifestyle and romance blogging was because Wakana got me into it. I made my start on her profiles with her followers. Talking about her now? Why we broke up? Even if I want to, it sounds like betraying her. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m trying to talk shit about her, when we’re both in the same influencer circles.”

Harucchi tilted his head, and when Eijun didn't continue on after several seconds, he prompted, “There’s more.”

So much for the dumb jock stereotype.

“If I write it, then I feel like I’m giving up on her. On us ever being something together, again.” He crossed his arms onto the table, elbows shoving the dishes and laptop uncomfortably close to the edge of the small table, and laid his head on his forearms. He closed his eyes, and said quietly into his chest, “I still love her, Harucchi.”

“I know, Eijun-kun.” A warm hand squeezed his elbow. Between their silence, the monstrous table of college students packed up and left, and suddenly the shop settled into a calm Eijun needed. 

He poked his head up from the comfort of his arms to stare at Harucchi. He was steadily sipping his coffee, one hand resting on Eijun’s elbow. His pink hair had pulled out of the bun at his nape and fell into windswept wisps framing his face and neck. He’d long since stopped wearing Ryou-san’s hand-me-downs in favor of softer, luxe sweaters and slacks, the only true expense he indulged in despite his lucrative status as a rising star for the Swallows.

Altogether, he looked gentle, dangerously so. On the diamond or off, it was easy to be lulled into a sense of security right before he whacked an unpleasant truth out of the park. 

Harucchi pulled his hand back and apologized with a glance. Eijun wasn’t sure why…until he started speaking. “You make a living off of posting about your life—and romance, in particular. You’ve never hidden your past relationship troubles from your followers, however difficult it was to express. It’s part of your brand at this point.”

Eijun’s mouth twisted as he sat up. “Wakana isn’t a branding tool.”

“No one is saying that,” Harucchi said patiently. “What I am saying: you underestimate how much of your own work goes into your success. Aotsuki was certainly helpful—but your personality and your words are why people stay. People trust you.

“You’re good at what you do, Eijun-kun. You’re honest and kind in your observations, to yourself, to your partners, to strangers, despite how difficult and personal love is. When the time comes, whatever you post about Aotsuki will be the same.” Harucchi shrugged. “Also, I’ll edit out anything that makes you sound insensitive.”

Eijun let out a heavy sigh, stretching his arms into the air and shaking off the melancholy. “Thanks for not letting me fall on my own sword.”

“What are friends for?”

For all that he felt better, though, Eijun was still stuck staring at a blinking cursor at the end of a line of drivel. “That still doesn’t solve my problem. I don’t have a clue what to post next. The schedule I followed is trash now without personal updates of me and Wakana. I haven’t been able to binge any of the manga or shows I wanted to review, either. All I got left is the advice column, but if I keep that up with nothing else, I might as well change the blog name to Dear Eijun instead of Ace of Hearts.”

Harucchi stared at him, calculating out something as he took in Sawamura’s restlessness. “You don’t have to keep writing about romance.”

“That’s what I started the blog for.”

“But that’s not why you started writing and recording back at Seidou. You’ve had success with your baseball analysis and tutorials on YouTube and Instagram. You could even say you’ve been neglecting them to chase after romance.”

Eijun groaned, loud and theatrical enough to make the meek businessman behind him jump in shock. “Maybe if I got as much engagement talking about how stupid the idea of celebrity athletes are when it’s a team sport—”

“See?” he cut in, tilting his cup toward Eijun. “You already have a topic to post about.”

“Baseball is my hobby, not my job,” he said mulishly, jaw jutting out. “My dad wrecked his love of music that way! I’m not gonna risk hating baseball after he spent my whole life yelling at me not to ‘monetize my interests’ while holding me in a headlock. That’s asking for the biggest lecture of my life!”

“You can always stop if it’s not the direction you want to go. You’re not getting married to the idea.”

“Don’t bring up marriage, I just got dumped!”

Harucchi pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Fine, don’t think of it as a marriage,” he said. From Harucchi, the sliver of impatience he let free was the equivalent of hauling Eijun by the collar and shaking him down. “Flirt with baseball. Go on a few dates. Get a benefit or two out of it. Does the metaphor suffice now?”

Eijun gasped. “Harucchi! You’re too innocent for that sort of talk!”

“My brother is Kominato Ryousuke, and my best friend writes a blog about romance and sex that I edit,” he said, even as his quiet voice went squeaky and his face mottled bright red from embarrassment. 

“Maybe I should change my blog to save you the embarrassment.”

“I also admit I have a request of you,” Harucchi said sheepishly, pressing a hand to his cheek. “The Swallows want me to get more heavily involved in PR this offseason, and I could use your help figuring out what I’d actually like to do instead of going along with every idea they propose. I’ve seen what they make the other players do, and I’m not interested in doing the exact type of promo they’ve done the past few seasons.”

Eijun crossed his arms and leaned back, chin tilting up defensively. “If you’re trying to convince me by pretending you need help—”

Harucchi shook his head, bangs bouncing across his forehead. “I hope you’ll find value or inspiration in it, too, but I was going to ask, regardless.” He grimaced into his cup. “The players who carry most of the strain of Swallows marketing are…otherwise occupied this offseason. I was volunteered to step in; management’s been wanting me to raise my profile for a while. I can’t really say no, so I may as well make the most of it.”

“I don’t want a pity job.”

“Please, be reasonable.” Harucchi smiled the shy, dreamy, polished smile the Swallows had been trying to splash across their advertising since he joined the team. “It’s a pity favor.”

Eijun snorted, relaxing into his chair again. “Fine,” he said, pulling open a clean document on his laptop. “Let’s brainstorm.”

[noona-clock]

The Risk - Part 2

Genre: Fighter!AU

Pairing: Park Seo Joon x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | Words: 3,430

Well. That had certainly been an interesting evening.

Besides the fact you had served a group of seven almost-too-rowdy guys for two hours, you had received an extremely generous tip from one of those almost-too-rowdy guys.

And... a phone number.

You’d been working at this restaurant for two years, and while you had received a couple of phone numbers before, the giver had never actually asked you before leaving it.

He had also never been as good-looking as this Park Seo Joon guy.

Seriously, this guy was amazingly good-looking. You’d noticed it when you’d first gone to his table, of course, and he had seemed to only get more handsome as the evening went on.

And when he asked if he could leave his phone number?! You kind of felt like you were on a hidden camera prank show or something...

But being incredibly handsome and leaving very bountiful tips was all well and good. Did that mean you would actually contact him?

Since his table had been your last of the evening, you were able to take time on the bus ride home to really and truly think about it.

You certainly weren’t the type to call or text random guys if they gave you their phone numbers. If you did decide to contact Seo Joon, it would be a first.

Then again, you couldn’t remember a guy as handsome -- quite frankly, hot -- as Seo Joon giving you his number. To say you weren’t the least bit interested in him would be a lie. You couldn’t see a face like that and not be interested. Or at least physically attracted.

(You were both.)

Just before the bus arrived at your stop, you remembered one of the other guys at his table had said something at the very beginning of the night. They had been celebrating something, and he had specifically gestured to Seo Joon and called him a winner.

He had won... what was it again? An AMA championship? AMM? AAM? MAA?

The bus rolled to a stop, and with a sigh, you clutched the strap of your bag and stood up to get off.

Whatever it had been, he had won a championship, and they had been celebrating.

But... wait. Hadn’t that guy also kind of acted like he was surprised you didn’t know who Seo Joon was?

Well, there was only one thing you could do if that was the case: you had to Google him.

As soon as you unlocked the door to your apartment, hung your bag up in the entryway, and kicked off your shoes, you shuffled into your bedroom and collapsed onto your bed. You then wasted no time in sliding your phone out of your pocket and opening the Google app.

“Park... Seo... Joon,” you muttered to yourself as you typed his name in the search bar. “Go.”

The first result was a Wikipedia article, and your eyebrows raised.

Oh. There was a Wikipedia article about him? That was pretty legit, right?

You clicked on the link, your eyes scanning over the summary at the top of the page. “Park Seo Joon is the current World MMA Champion -- MMA, that’s it! He began his career in 2015 and quickly made his way to the number one ranked spot where he has remained ever since. Damn. Number one?”

So... in this MMA thing, he was the best? Out of everyone else?

Well, how many other people were there? And what exactly was MMA?

You opened up another search tab on Google and typed in MMA, though it didn’t take long for you to discern it was an acronym for Mixed Martial Arts.

Oh. So, he was a fighter.

Well, to be honest, that wasn’t exactly something to recommend him. You disliked violence of any kind, and the sight of blood made you feel incredibly faint.

You kept digging, however, because the whole thing had still piqued your curiosity.

On the official MMA organization website, you were able to find out that there were over 1,000 fighters around the world, and the last World Championship had been in Los Angeles... with over 50,000 people in attendance and over 1 million people watching on TV.

Holy...

You quickly navigated back to his Wikipedia page and scrolled down, scanning through his background and memorable moments in the ring, though your eyes instantly froze when they landed on a picture of him after winning one of his matches.

Because he was shirtless.

And...

Oh my god.

You... had never seen a better body in your entire life.

After realizing you were staring at your phone screen with your jaw hanging wide open, you blinked yourself out of your little trance and went back to Google one more time.

You clicked on the Images tab and began to scroll through all of his picture results.

And your eyes grew wider by the second.

Shirtless. Shirtless. Gold medal. Championship. Trophy. Shirtless. Gold Medal. Shirtless with gold medal. Trophy. Championship. Trophy. Trophy.

Holy shit.

So... this guy was definitely a big deal.

And you just had one question.

And you now felt bad for him. Whether or not he would admit it, he was a big deal, and most of the people in his life probably treated him that way. Based on his words, though, he would likely prefer to be treated like a normal, regular, non-championship-winning guy.

If you hadn’t been nosy and Googled him just now, he would still be a normal, regular, non-championship-winning guy to you.

So... if he wanted to be treated that way, then you would be the one to do it.

You ended up messaging back and forth until you physically couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, and this pattern continued on for the next week. You would text Seo Joon the second you got off work, and you would keep texting until you had to force yourself to go to sleep.

You didn’t really talk about anything in particular, to be honest. He mainly asked you how your day went, and then the two of you would end up talking about something completely random like the best form of potato (which is clearly cut into long, thin strips and fried) or the movie you would forever connect to your childhood or what strange, nonsensical dreams you had the previous night.

Since you got home fairly late each night and were too exhausted to stay up past midnight, you simply hadn’t had time to delve into anything deeper. You were having fun talking to him, though, and you figured he must feel the same way since he always replied within minutes.

When your shift ended that Friday, you began your evening as you had the last five or six days: you got on the bus, found your seat, slid your phone out of your bag, and sent Seo Joon a text.

His next message, however, was less typical.

Once you’d gotten off the bus and fished into your bag for the key to your apartment, you sent Seo Joon a quick message letting him know you were home. He read the message almost immediately, but... he didn’t reply.

Your brow furrowed softly as you approached your front door, blindly trying to fit the key into the lock as your eyes still focused on your phone screen.

A phone call suddenly came through, and you almost jumped because you were so startled. But then you realized... it was Seo Joon?

Hesitantly, you answered the call and lifted your phone up to your ear.

“Hello?” Your heart was now beating a mile a minute, and your stomach did a little flip when you heard him answer you back.

“Hey,” he said before quickly adding, “I know you said you don’t like talking on the phone, but I didn’t want to do this over text.”

“...Do what?”

“Are you free tomorrow night?”

Oh, god.

You quickly wracked your brain for your work schedule, and you almost let out an audible sigh of relief when you realized you were, indeed, free.

“Yes,” you answered breathlessly.

“Would you wanna go out?”

“Yes,” you repeated without skipping a beat.

“Okay, great. We don’t have to keep talking on the phone.”

You broke out into a smile, a soft chuckle escaping through your lips. “Okay,” you answered. “But I appreciate that you wanted to ask me kind of but not really in person. Thank you.”

You could actually hear Seo Joon smile (which was a little weird since you hadn’t known you could hear a smile but whatever), and when he spoke, his grin was very apparent in his voice. “You’re welcome. You... don’t want to keep talking on the phone, do you?”

“It’s really nothing personal,” you assured him, realizing you were still just standing on your doormat with your key inside the lock... but you hadn’t actually turned it.

You snapped to attention suddenly, hastily unlocking your door and stepping inside your apartment.

“I’m just an introvert,” you continued. “And shy. I’d rather have time to process my thoughts and write a reply back to you so I don’t say something I’ll cringe about for the next forty years because I didn’t have time to think it through.”

“I can understand that,” Seo Joon laughed softly. “All right, I’ll hang up now.”

“Bye,” you said as you hung your bag up on the coat rack in your entryway.

You heard Seo Joon take a breath, and you waited to hear him say goodbye back... but then...

“Just so you know, it’s really nice to hear your voice. Okay, bye.”

Click.

And your heart exploded.

Not even a minute after Seo Joon had hung up, he had texted you, telling you he would take you to any restaurant you wanted -- all you had to do was name the place, and that’s where your date would be.

Of course, you had internally freaked out (in a good way) because he had called it a date and now there was no uncertainty. You hadn’t thought he was just asking you to hang out, but still. It was nice to know for sure.

You had sent him the name of your favorite pizza place, one you didn’t get a chance to go to that often because -- well, you didn’t get a chance to eat out that often. Your schedule and budget didn’t quite allow it. But you’d refrained from including those particular details in your message to him.

Seo Joon had offered to pick you up, but you ended up convincing him to just meet you there -- he had only agreed on the condition that he could take you home, and you had accepted easily enough.

So, the next evening, you found yourself arriving at the pizza place just a few minutes before your agreed-upon meeting time. When you walked in through the front door of the restaurant, you were prepared to greet the host and let him know you were waiting for someone... but Seo Joon was already sitting on one of the couches next to the front podium.

“Hey,” he greeted, his lips curving into a smile.

You never would have guessed that one single word -- a word as simple as ‘hey’ -- would knock the breath out of your lungs.

But when it came from someone as incredibly tall, handsome, and buff as Seo Joon... it wasn’t that surprising just one word from him left you breathless.

“Hi,” you replied after gulping down a lump of anxiety in your throat.

Before the two of you could exchange any more conversation, the host grabbed two menus and led you back to one corner of the restaurant, seating you at a small booth for two. You murmured your thanks, and Seo Joon waited until you slid into one side of the booth before taking his seat across from you.

“How are you?” Seo Joon asked just as you opened the menu.

Oh, right. That would have been polite to ask. Apparently, seeing Seo Joon in person again had turned your brain to mush.

“I’m fine,” you answered, glancing up at him with a small grin. Which... was a mistake. The glancing, not the grin. 

He was just so handsome, it was intimidating. You truly had no idea why he would be interested in you. Your looks were not model-worthy while his definitely were.

“How are you?” you asked, trying to avoid eye contact so you wouldn’t stammer over your words or say something idiotic.

“I’m great,” he replied with a soft chuckle. “Just been training all week.”

“Oh? Do you have a... match? Coming up? Is that what they’re called?”

“No, not for about a month,” he told you with a tiny smirk.

“But I guess you always have to train,” you pointed out.

Seo Joon nodded, and you glanced up again to see he was now perusing the menu.

Oh, god. He was just so... so... so perfect. You had thought so earlier this week when you’d seen him at your restaurant, but you hadn’t really understood. You hadn’t imagined you would ever in a million years go on a date with him, so you hadn’t let yourself think too deeply about it.

But now... sitting across from him... watching him read a freakin’ menu... 

All of a sudden, you felt the word vomit bubbling up, making its way up your throat until it spilled from your lips.

“I’m really sorry,” you blurted out. “About when I first texted you and said you were a big deal and all that and questioning why you would want to give me your number.”

Seo Joon’s brows raised slightly and he shifted his gaze to look at you.

“Oh,” he began, his voice soft and somewhat confused. “Oh, no, it’s -- it’s okay.”

“I had just Googled you,” you explained. “So, I read about all of your accomplishments, and you’re just, like, really handsome, so I was just wondering why you would be interested in me. But, to be honest, I would still have been questioning it even if you were like... a grocery store clerk or something.”

Seo Joon chuckled lightly and set down his menu so he could see you better. “What are you even talking about?” he asked with an expression of amusement.

“I’m talking about your face,” you answered bluntly. “Your face is really nice.”

Unexpectedly, Seo Joon’s cheeks began to turn pink, and he quickly looked away from you as his lips formed into a shy, adorable smile.

Oh, wow. You never imagined he could be this adorable. Plus, the fact he was acting so shy spurred on your more playful, teasing side, so you said, “I’m serious! You’re definitely, one-hundred-percent, the best-looking guy I’ve ever been out with.”

Seo Joon shook his head, and you assured him one more time that it was most certainly the truth.

“How about we talk about you?” he requested with a soft laugh. “I can’t just Google you and find out all about you.”

“This is true,” you replied with a soft sigh. “But even if you could Google me, the result would be, like... one link. I’m really quite average.”

Before Seo Joon could reply, your server appeared to take your drink orders, and you ended up ordering a large pepperoni pizza, as well.

“How about you let me be the judge of that?” Seo Joon said once the server had left to go place your order.

“All right,” you chuckled. “Well, you know I work at a restaurant. I’ve been working there for two years, ever since I started Grad School.”

“Grad School?” Seo Joon repeated with raised eyebrows. “What are you studying?”

“Creative Writing. I got my Bachelor’s degree in Literature, but then I realized I actually liked writing more than reading.”

Seo Joon shot you a look which clearly said you were wrong. “Two university degrees is not average,” he told you with a small shake of his head.

You simply hid a grin and lifted your shoulders into a shrug.

“I mean,” Seo Joon continued. “Some people don’t even have one college degree, and you’re getting another one? That’s a big deal.”

A soft chuckle escaped through your nose, but before you could say anything in reply, someone else approached your table. You thought it was the server again, but when you looked up, you realized... you had no idea who it was. It was some random lady and a young boy with a very awestruck look in his eyes.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you,” the lady began, looking incredibly guilty with a deeply furrowed brow. “My son is a huge fan, and he was wondering if he could...?”

Seo Joon quickly looked over at you, and you returned with a little nod and a grin.

This was weird.

You’d never in your life experienced this before, and it was weird. Kind of cool, actually, but still weird.

Seo Joon’s lips transformed into a smile then, and he reached for the pen and paper in the young boy’s hand. “Of course,” he murmured. “What’s your name?”

“Jonathan,” the boy answered. “I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

“Just train hard and you can be,” Seo Joon answered as he scribbled his name on the piece of paper.

After he handed it back to the boy, the mother then held up her phone. “Can we get a picture, too?”

“Absolutely,” Seo Joon murmured, and the boy stepped up to him, turning around to face his mom.

The lady snapped a couple of pictures, and they both thanked Seo Joon profusely before the boy practically skipped back to his table.

“You just said getting two degrees was a big deal, but I’m not the one with fans,” you said quietly, a smirk tugging at one corner of your lips.

“Sorry,” Seo Joon replied with a guilty smile.

“No, it’s fine, I didn’t mind at all. Does... that happen a lot?”

“Not really a lot, but... maybe twice a week?

“Compared to me who has been asked a grand total of zero times for an autograph and a picture, that’s a lot,”  you laughed.

“Anyway,” Seo Joon grinned. “Back to you. You’re studying creative writing?”

“Yeah, so I won’t really be making much more money than I am now as a server, but...” 

“But you love it.”

A soft smile appeared on your lips, and you lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah, I love it.”

“I can tell,” Seo Joon declared with a somewhat curious look.

“Is that so?”

He nodded, crossing his arms over the tabletop and leaning toward you. “I can tell by the look in your eyes. The way you look when you’re talking about it is the way I feel about fighting.”

Obviously, you were now blushing like mad because Seo Joon was looking right into your eyes. But you still managed to speak somewhat normally when you said, “So, you’re one of the lucky ones, then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You’re good at what you love to do.”

“Well,” he began after taking a bit of a deep breath. “It’s always come pretty easily to me. When I first stepped into a martial arts studio, it just felt... natural. So, I kept on doing it. I guess I really just love it because it’s easy... which makes me sound like an incredibly lazy loser.”

“It doesn’t,” you assured him with a laugh. “I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone who truly loves hard work and making an effort at something. We all like things to be easy.”

Seo Joon looked at you for a moment, and it got to a point where you almost began to squirm in your seat under his gaze. But then he broke the silence and said, “You know what else is easy?”

“Hmm?” you hummed with raised eyebrows.

“Talking to you.”

You had no idea you needed to let out a breath, but that’s exactly what you did after he said that.

“Actually... I feel the same way,” you replied.

And you were a little surprised to discover that was true. You were shy, and meeting new people was always a bit of a struggle for you.

But talking to Seo Joon? You realized you weren’t trying as hard as you usually needed to. You didn’t feel quite so awkward or like you were saying the wrong thing.

It was... Well, you weren’t quite sure what it was. But you were willing to keep working to find out.

Part 3

[rametarin]

Little note hider. Or, alternative title: “Ante up for arguments.”

So a few days ago I made a post about the tactics I remember from my youth.

Actual disruption and propagandists that filled little girls’ heads with emotionally charged political shit and encouraged them to, “stawt convuhsayshuns uwu” to, “change society.” And we’re talking kids being emotionally blackmailed to accept many of these subjective things as truth.

Taught to argue with other children, the age where they weren’t even really clued in on how to read or argue with academic buffoonery or emotionally charged appeals to authority.

I remember quite well the interactions.

Babby Radfem: “Our society is racist.”

Me: “No it isn’t. Societies can’t be racist, only the people in them.”

Babby Radfem starts citing known examples of racism talking about slavery.

Me: “Yes I know you can talk about things that happened, that doesn’t mean society is racist, it means there are racists in it.”

Babby Radfem: “Proof? You have any proof? :^) Because I have proof of what I’m saying! So YOU have proof for what you’re saying?”

And you have to understand; these little socio-politically programmed children didn’t just waltz into a library and grab up some Feminist Book of Statistics. They were coached, they were groomed, they were armed with bogus academia huffandpuff and then set loose to go after kids who’d never even heard of these issues before.

In my case, I learned what the concept of rape was because a baby radical feminist informed me because I was a boy, and, “epidemic societal rape” was a thing, that she could never wholly trust me of be comfortable around me, because, “men in our society are so violent and rape women.” Not really an appropriate mindset for a girl under the age of 7. Or a boy, for that matter.

It’s at that point they’d put on this big performance with that smug, disgusting expression on their face, setting up a bunch of articles and examples of things that’d happened in the past and examples of singular racist assholes operating, conflating that deliberately with, “a racist society.” Because you know, if one member of the hivemind super colony acts bad, I guess to socialists that’s, “proof” that “society” didn’t do its job in programming them right, or something.

And it’s at this point that no matter what you say, they aren’t looking for a reasonable discussion where you respect one another’s positions and perspectives, they’re looking for a show trial, and they think they’re being clever by trying to make you defend the actions of actual racists, since in their minds, you’re denying their actions ever happened.

No matter what you say, like broken interfaces, they’ll just sit there smugly reminding you, “you aren’t proving society isn’t racist yet! Do you even have an argument? Do you have proof? Any actual PROOF, not emotionally charged denials? Still not seeing any proof of what you’re saying. Guess you don’t have an argument. I’m sorry, I don’t accept crybabying nuh-uhs, I’m a rational person with a scientific mind :^)”

I say again, this shit, these big blowhard guns, were brought out and used on me. I was fucking 5, at the time. It’s not like I was going to stand up, shout, “Foucult was a boy toucher and a monster!” and show the 10 page report with bibliographed citations. You can’t spur of the moment refute someone handed a book wwwwaay about their age range just to tell you bogus statistics like women only make 50-75% of what a white man makes, “for the same job,” that demands you also spur of the moment disprove what they’re saying in order to dispute or disregard it at all.

Then plays to the peers around you like your outrage over the things you’re being accused of by proxy of being a boy, is just because you don’t like, “hearing the truth.”

And you know what this behavior influenced? Yeah. Annoying Youtube Atheists of the 00s. I’m an atheist, but the difference between me and An Annoying Youtube Atheist, is I don’t make not participating in an organized religion or believing in supernatural creators. While the other considers themselves an intellectual for arguing with probably the easiest arguments to disprove and discredit you can possibly engage.

So when I talk about shit like this that I witnessed and observed happening in the fucking late 80s, early 90s, of course I’m not going to have “proof.” Who the hell happens to have examples of such a random a sporadic thing in the wild? The odds are literally a million times better now than they were when our communication and interactions were in person, without internet, with only access to the information resources in the books you had in your local library or in your house.

The, 1.) Inflammatory Statement 2.) Whipping out a book that may as well have been written by Jordan Peterson or Ben Shapiro for all the bias it has 3.) “Here’s my proof. You have proof? Any proof to source your beliefs, or do you just have feefees? :^)” approach, predates on people being both unfamiliar with the subject matter, as well as not having the resources to effectively dispute the claims.

It’s predatory, it’s deceptive, and it is used to socially browbeat women into their corners, whom them become like enablers and believers and supports in the pew after their cryfests, powwows and ‘come to socialist Jesus’ moment.

But no, I don’t currently possess any proof of this phenomenon or effect, and the mercurial social nature of young girls means catching this interaction in the wild is very unlikely. Which is exactly why that disingenuous request for, “Proof? :^)” is so disgusting.

Even when you HAD proof, the next step after isn’t to concede they’re wrong. It usually went in a number of ways.

1.) The person requesting proof goes dead inside and ignores what you’re saying, and if they respond at all, it’s simply to speak as if you hadn’t just shown them the proof, still arguing as if it wasn’t shown. I guess in a silly attempt to socially override the new information from the discussion and give the speaker the burden of proof to try and make it stick to their denial filled, teflon minds.

2.) They meet all the effort taken to argue with stupid shit that wastes your time and energy. Replying to a thorough rebuttal that rebukes and dismantles the things they are saying with, “KUNG POW PENIS, *GIGGLE*” or just going “DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!” and giggling to show they don’t actually care what you have to say and won’t take you seriously. This one is done alone or only when they have other supporters there that won’t accept opposition as legit or genuine, proof or not.

3.) They’ll simply retreat and then scream if you follow them. If they retreat, the conversation effectively ends, and they won’t hear any more of it since it threatens to challenge them, OR they simply wanted to convince people to take what they have to say as fact and it’s a waste of their time to sell lies to people that know they’re lies. But they will scream and make the priority that you’re apparently following or harassing them, when they see argument is futile.

4.) They’ll nod along and pretend you’ve corrected them when you demonstrate you aren’t going to believe what they say, because you have both proof and conviction that their argument is weak, they don’t have a leg to stand on, or you throw in their face you know what they are. But, they won’t retract their stance, they’ll simply go on to, “stawt that convuhsayshun” with someone else, to try and convince them of their politically charged talking point.

5.) They’ll start crying or looking like a kid with their hands caught in a cookie jar, and admit, “I was just twying to stawt a... convuhsayshun..” Which is code that means, “I was trying to propagandize and make you think this thing was true, and make you mad about it as if it was the truth.” This typically happened when I called them out in front of adults that also didn’t agree with the things she was saying, had been programmed to say, and was around adults that could cite proof that what they were saying was false.

It happened so often I realized that at some point it might be in my best interests, to at least THINK about how to prove arguments to random strangers.

In the past, being sidewound by baby radical feminists that, “just started conversations” around the water cooler, axes to grind disguised as random conversations, was a thing. They were like social guerillas or velociraptors. But they were always tangentially rooted in whatever thing they’d been handed to read in order to sound smart.

So, if you knew the contemporary radical feminist talking points, had the time, literacy and resources to research and understand the holes in their claims, where they substituted for integrity, you could unravel them. Or could critique things like sample size or the likelihood they arrived at their conclusion and worked backwards to meet the result they were looking for, or started with a faulty premise.

And when they tried to stretch and flex and get believers and followers, presenting these, “facts” (that were not facts, but lies, subjective talking points, or just feelings) trying to use the trust bonds of friendship to get people to accept them as true for risk of hurting the relationship and their friend’s feelings (an exploitation of people, by the way) you could dispute them.

But they really do not like that, and once you reveal yourself as someone capable of shooting holes in what they say, they’ll only bring out their talking points to your mutual friends when you, ye that has identified yourself as capable of disputing what they say, aren’t around to dispute them.

Pre-internet, pre-cell phone, this was the methodology by which radical feminist zealotry was reproduced among young girls and young women. And drove them absolutely fucking nuts for a few years, until they resolved it and came back to reality. For one reason or another.

But do I have proof of this? Not on hand.

[snappedsky]

Fanatics Adventures in Space Part 24

The Night Terrors attend a party. Previous! Next!

--

The Banquet

           Our heroes have been gone for over half a year. And while their friends and family miss them, time continues to pass normally.

           Winter has struck the Nameless City as hard as usual: clear streets one day, snow the next. Many of the citizens are used to it and prepare around this time. But a couple are just unable to. Like the Night Terrors and their roommate, Aron.

           “I hate this time of year,” Aron mumbles, shivering and curled up in a blanket next to their space heater. The Night Terrors are in much the same position.

           “Yeah, I thought California was supposed to be like hot,” Eff whines.

           “You really gonna try and apply logic to this city?” Reverend Meat grunts.

           “At least the van is warmer than it was before it got tricked out,” Sickness points out.

           “Cold is still cold,” D-boy grumbles.      

           The door is suddenly thrown open, letting in the freezing air and biting wind.

           “Close the damn door!” everyone barks as Serena enters.

           “Relax,” she snaps back, shutting the door behind her. “Look at this.”

           She throws a newspaper on the floor in front of them. On the front page they recognize a photo of her father- Charles Von, the mayor of the city- shaking hands with another smartly dressed man.

           “Who’s that?” Eff asks.

           “Uh Vincent Pimento?” Serena replies impatiently, “I’ve been talking about him for the last couple months.”

           “You can’t expect us to listen to everything you say,” D-boy states, “normally it’s only about men you’ve fucked and eaten.”

           “I like those stories,” Reverend Meat says.

           “Well, to catch you up,” Serena growls, “with Celio Mussolini imprisoned, people are considering Pimento to be the new ‘most powerful man in the city’. And he’s taking that very seriously. I think he might try to take over the city like Mussolini did.”

           “But he looks like he’s making good friends with your dad,” Sickness points out as she looks over the article.

           “That’s just a front!” Serena snaps, “Dad doesn’t see it either, but he’s dangerous. I’m sure he’s gonna dig up some dirt on Dad and use it to blackmail him later. We have to stop him before he gets too powerful.”

           “We do?” D-boy questions.

           “Yes! You’re supposed to be protecting the city, right? Wouldn’t your ‘Little Boss’ want you to take care of a threat before it got too bad?”

           “Alright,” Reverend Meat shrugs, “but what are we supposed to do?”

           “I’m glad you asked,” Serena grins, “Pimento is holding a banquet at his mansion tonight. We’re gonna crash it and-.”

           “And kill him?” Eff suggests.

           “I considered that but his death would be too noticeable,” she replies, “so we’re just gonna find some dirt on him to use as blackmail.”

           “Sounds fun,” Sickness smirks.

           “Not to be the voice of reason,” Aron says, “but you might be able to sneak into a rich banquet, but do you really think these guys can?”

           “What’s that supposed to mean?” Eff asks critically.

           “You stand out?”

           “Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”

           “Don’t worry, I already have a plan,” Serena grins, “I’ll get in with one of you as my date. After, we’ll sneak upstairs and let the other three in.”

           “Okay,” Reverend Meat nods, “so who’ll be your date?”

           “D-boy.”

           “What?” he questions with surprise. “Why me?”

           “Yeah, why him?” Eff questions scornfully.

           “D-boy is the least likely to make a scene,” Serena replies.

           “I am?” he questions.

           “And once I clean him up, he’ll look like a half-decent socialite,” she adds.

           “How are you gonna clean him up?” Sickness asks.

           “At my dad’s house, obviously,” she grunts, as she gets into the driver’s seat. “So buckle up cause the party starts at 7. And I’m guessing it’s gonna take a couple hours to get D-boy clean.”

           “Is no one gonna ask how I feel about doing this?” D-boy asks.

           “No,” Reverend Meat replies plainly.

           “Alright. Just checking.”

           Serena drives them across the city to the richer part of town, where her family home is. She parks the van at the curb and they all get out and hurry up to the house, eager to escape the cold.            

           “Serena!” her mother chimes as they enter. “Always so nice to see you home. And you’ve brought your…little friends…”                

           “We’re going to a party tonight,” Serena explains, “I gotta help them get ready.”

           “Take off your shoes please,” her mom requests.

           “Trust me, none of us want that,” Reverend Meat says.

           She grimaces as they pass and follow Serena upstairs. She leads them to a large, sparkling washroom and shoves D-boy towards the shower.

           “Get clean,” she orders, “while you’re doing that, I’ll find you a tux.”

           “Fine,” D-boy groans as he takes off his hat.

           Serena hurries down the hall to her parents’ bedroom and goes into their walk-in closet. She goes through her father’s clothes before finding a nice, simple tuxedo and nods agreeably.

            As she leaves, she runs into her little brother, Jeff, in the hall. He’s leaning against the wall, watching her suspiciously.          

           When she gets back to the washroom, she finds D-boy in his spotted briefs sitting on the toilet while Sickness scrubs at his face, Eff, Reverend Meat, and Aron watching from the sidelines. D-boy’s hair is wet but he’s still covered in make-up.

           “What’s going on? Aren’t you done yet?” Serena asks as she hangs up the suit.

           “He showered but his face is covered in layers of paint,” Aron explains.

         “I haven’t washed in a while,” D-boy adds, “I just touched-up my face paint when I needed.”

           “Jeez, we need a freekin trowel to scrape all this off,” Sickness complains as she scrubs his cheek raw.

           When D-boy’s face is finally clean- albeit red and tender- Serena helps him into the tux and does his hair all nice and neat. By the time he’s finished, he’s barely recognizable.

           “May I present, Psycho of Doughboy,” Serena says, bowing dramatically as she shows off the finished product to the others.

           “Wow, Dee, you almost look like a respectable person,” Aron comments.

           “Which is more than can be said about any of us,” Reverend Meat remarks.

           “How’s it feel?” Sickness asks.

           “Not too different,” D-boy replies as he straightens his necktie. “I miss my hat though.”

           “Beauty is pain,” Serena grunts. “Now, we have about half an hour before the party. Wait downstairs and try to stay clean while I get ready.”

           “It takes you half an hour to get ready?” Eff asks judgementally.

           “Hardly. It usually takes me two hours. I didn’t expect D-boy to take so long.”            She shoos everyone out into the hall and starts preparing. By the time she’s finished, it’s almost seven o’clock. She’s wearing a long, dark purple dress with spaghetti straps and a slit up the left leg; her black hair is done up in an elaborate up-do and she has bright red lips and smoky eyeshadow.

           “Wow, you look great,” Sickness comments.

           “I know,” Serena smiles.

           “So how are we getting there? The van?” D-boy asks.

           “They can take the van,” she replies as she nods towards Eff and the others. “I got our own ride.”

           “Okay, guys, meet us at the Pimento residence- the address is in the paper,” she orders as she leads D-boy away. “Wait for us on the roof and we’ll let you in when we can.”

           “Okey dokey,” Reverend Meat salutes and the others wave as they walk away.

           Serena leads D-boy to the garage, where a limousine is parked. Her younger brother, Jeff, is leaning against the hood.            

           “You owe me for this,” he states, pointing at Serena before knocking on the driver’s door and walking away.

           Serena opens the back door and ushers D-boy in. “After you.”

           He looks around in awe as he slides onto the leather seat. There’s a fully stocked mini-fridge, a cooler with champagne, and best of all- a working heater.

           “Wow. Swanky,” D-boy grins.

           “Welcome to the highlife, Dee,” Serena smirks as she sits beside him. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”            The limo exits the garage and they head to the party.

           Expensive vehicles line the street leading up to the Pimento manor- a large, cream coloured three-story building with a big, clear yard surrounded by a brick wall. There are bright lights streaming out of the first floor and dozens of people crowded around outside the front door, where a bouncer can be seen.  

           “So how are we getting in?” D-boy asks.

           “That’s the easy part,” Serena replies, “I’m the mayor’s daughter, remember?”            As they exit the limo and head up the front door, Serena hooks her hands around D-boy’s arm.

           “Hey,” he grunts.

           “You’re my date. Act like it,” she hisses, “and stand up straight.”

           They pass by the line-up of potential, wannabe guests and approach the bouncer. He doesn’t even look up from his clipboard.

           “Name?” he grunts.

           “Serena Von,” she replies calmly.

           He glances at her with surprise. “Ah, Miss Von. Your father is already here.”

           “Yes, well, I like to be fashionably late,” she chirps, “do me favour and don’t mention to anyone I’m though, okay? I prefer to keep my presence separate from his, y’know?”

           “As you wish, Miss Von,” he nods and steps aside allowing the couple inside.

           “Will your dad being here be a problem?” D-boy asks as they pass through the foyer.

           “It’ll be fine,” Serena replies, “he’ll be too busy getting his ass kissed to notice.”

           They enter the large where the banquet is being held. There’s a large, crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. On the right side of the room, all kinds of clearly rich folks are milling about, being waited on by servants holding trays with fancy, little finger foods. On the other side, couples are dancing to classical music. A large staircase is on the far side of the room, blocked off by a velvet rope and guarded by two suited men.

           “So what’s the plan?” D-boy asks quietly as they walk through the room.

           “Blend in, wait for an opportunity to get those guards away from the stairs,” Serena replies.

           Meanwhile, the other Night Terrors have arrived as well. Having parked the van a couple blocks away, they made their way to the mansion through the back alley and jumped the wall surrounding the yard.

           “Jesus, it’s cold,” Eff whines as they make their way to the side of the house.

           “Okay, where are they?” Sickness asks as they peek through a window to get a look into the party.

           “There,” Reverend Meat replies, pointing at Serena and D-boy amidst the crowd.

           “Wow, D-boy really is unrecognizable, isn’t here,” Eff comments.

           Serena and D-boy start to head over to the serving away when Serena stops short and abruptly turns the other, pulling D-boy after her.

           “Ah, jeez! What?” he grunts in surprise.

           “My dad’s over there,” she whispers, keeping her head low.

           D-boy glances over and spots Serena’s dad, Charles Von, talking to a group of people. One man with short, neat black hair in a three-piece suit seems particularly interested in everything he’s saying.

           “Who’s the guy drooling all over him?” D-boy asks.

           “Vincent Pimento,” Serena hisses, venom dripping from her words.

          She leads D-boy to the dance floor, placing his hands on her hips and grabbing his shoulders.

           “I don’t know how to dance,” he whispers.

           “It’s fine, it’s not hard,” she replies, “just sway a bit and follow my lead. And don’t stare at your feet.”

           They stick to the middle of the dance floor, semi-hidden from her father’s view from the other dancers. While Serena watches him and Pimento talk it up, D-boy eyes the guards at the stairs.

           “So how do we get rid of them?” he asks.

           “We need some sort of distraction,” Serena replies.

           “I can come up with something.”

           “Okay, just be subtle-.” She flinches and looks away when she makes brief eye contact with Pimento. “Shit.”

           “What?” D-boy questions.

           “I think they spotted me.”

           D-boy glances over and notices Pimento whispering to Charles, pointing at them.

           “Damn. What do we do?” he asks.

           “We have to throw them off our trail; do something to make them uncomfortable,” Serena replies.

           “Like what?” D-boy asks as he tries to avoid making eye contact with Charles.

           “I have an idea. It’s a little crazy, but just roll with it,” Serena says.      

           “I like crazy.”

           “Good.”

           She throws her arms around D-boy’s neck and kisses him flat on the mouth.

           D-boy’s eyes widen slightly with surprise. Eff, Sickness, and Reverend Meat exclaim with shock and nearly fall over. Around them, the dancers grimace and make an effort to look anywhere else, as do Pimento and Charles.

           Serena breaks the kiss and they both glance towards her father.

           “Wow, it worked,” D-boy says.

           “Yeah, now it doesn’t have to be weird,” Serena remarks.

           “It’s not weird. Just a little gross.”

           “Right,” she grunts and wipes her mouth. “Do you paint the inside of your mouth?”          

           “Sometimes it gets through my lips,” he shrugs.

           Serena scoffs with disgust and smiles. “Okay, so, what was your distraction idea?”

           “Oh, right,” D-boy nods, “okay, just let me lead for a minute.”

           D-boy carefully directs them across the floor, doing his best to stay on-beat to the music, and nears another dancing couple. As they take a step, D-boy sticks his leg out, tripping the women and knocking both of them to the floor.

           “Nice,” Serena comments.

           Everyone’s attention is immediately drawn to the sprawled out couple and the men guarding the stairs rush over. While the couple is helped up and checked over for injuries- and the on-looking guests say rude things about their dancing under their breath- D-boy and Serena race up the stairs.

           “There they go,” Reverend Meat says, “let’s go.”            The three of them easily scale the wall up to the roof and wait for a window to open.

           D-boy and Serena hurry through the house to the third floor. Fortunately, it’s completely empty, any residents seemingly at the party or just out. They find a room with a window on the side of the house and quickly open it.

           “Nice work, guys,” Reverend Meat comments as he, Eff, and Sickness swing in.

           “Now time for phase 2,” Serena grins, “follow me.”

           She leads the crew back to the second floor and she quickly checks every door until she finds Pimento’s office.

           “Okay, look for something, anything,” Serena orders as she begins pulling out drawers and rifling through papers.

           “What exactly are you hoping to find?” Sickness asks as they follow suit.

           “I don’t know. Evidence of money laundering, human trafficking, child pornography.”

           “Wow, that really escalated,” Eff comments.

           “Just look for something we can use against him,” Serena demands.

           “Ahem.”

           The obnoxious fake cough makes Serena and the Night Terrors whip around to the door, where Pimento is standing with four of his servants. Serena glowers as he steps forward.

           “Serena Von,” he says, “I knew it was you. Why are you here? Why do you hate the friendship your father and I have?”            “You’re not friends with my father,” Serena snarls, “you just want to use him and throw him away. I know your type. You hate that my father uses his wealth for the sake of others and you want to destroy him.”

           “Why do you care what happens to him?” Pimento asks, “didn’t he kick you out and cut you off from the family’s wealth.”

           “He means well. He only did that to teach me responsibility.”            “And that sure didn’t work. Now you and your…odd friends are gonna be arrested and you will besmirch your father’s name.” He laughs cruelly. “I don’t have to ruin him when his family does it so well for me.”

           Serena growls as he chuckles. “Okay, time to for Plan B.”

           “Plan B?” D-boy questions.

           “The ‘B’ stands for ‘Beat ‘em up’.”

           The Night Terrors smirk with understanding. Before the guards can even blink, Sickness is on top of one and knocks him to the ground; Reverend Meat punches the other in the chest, immediately knocking him unconscious; the Doughboys finish off the last two by slamming their faces into the walls.

           Pimento can hardly register what just happened, his jaw slung open in shock. Before he can say anything, Serena grabs the front of his shirt, tugs him into the room, and throws him onto the desk.  

           “Here’s the deal, Pimento,” she hisses, baring her vampire fangs inches from his quivering face. “If you do anything to try and hurt my father or my family, I will hunt you down and make you watch as I drain your pathetic body of every last drop of blood. Got it?”

           He whimpers and nods pathetically.

           “Good,” she chirps and steps back. “Let’s go, guys.”

           She opens the window and they climb out.

           “You know,” D-boy says as they scale the building. “If you had just done that like a week ago, we wouldn’t have had to attend this party.”

           “Yeah but this was more fun,” Serena shrugs.

           “So are we gonna talk about the fact that you two…uh,” Reverend Meat says, awkwardly pointing between the two of them.

           “Nope,” they declare.

           “Okay. Just checking.”

[theparanormalperiodical]

Ghosts Caught on Audio: The 7 Recordings and EVPs You Have to Listen To

It was only a week ago that I got a question from fellow tumblr user, @madphantom.

@madphantom told me that they picked up some paranormal activity whilst recording audio for a creative project.

The story goes that when they recorded audio for an actor who had died, things started to get weird.

When they replayed the audio, they realised that they had picked up a lot of static, and compared it to the iconic soundtrack from Slenderman’s notorious horror games.

Yikes.

And it was this story that reminded me of one my favourite horror film scenes, basically, ever from one of my favourite horror films, basically, ever.

There’s this scene from the film The Conjuring (which is based on the true case of the haunting of the Perron family) where they record the story of the haunting from one of the victims – the mother of the family.

And upon replaying the audio, they realised it didn’t actually record her voice.

After discussion of some key plot points, the recorder turned itself on and produced some seriously terrifying haunted noises.

Now, this didn’t actually happen as far as I can tell.

But it got me thinking: has paranormal activity ever been caught on audio?

There’s enough faked videos clogging up the youtube trending page to tell you we all love a bit of the supernatural making its online debut, and the same goes for audio recordings.

Go ahead, try ‘creepy audio recordings of the paranormal’ into youtube.

And so I was convinced that essentially, I had come to a dead end.

(Pun unintended.)

But then I remembered something:

Audio recordings are actually really fucking important when it comes to recording and investigating paranormal activity.

Methods like EVP and the use of Spirit Boxes have ruled the domain of ghost hunting since the late 20th century, and represent our desperate search for evidence of life after death.

And so, in today’s edition of The Paranormal Periodical we are going to be discussing the theories and histories behind EVP and Spirit boxes, and the 7 audio recordings of paranormal activity that you have to listen to.

So, what is EVP?

EVP – or electronic voice phenomena – are recorded sounds that have been identified as coming from spirits.

It was popularised by some bloke called Konstantins Raudive, and he himself recorded some seriously amazing EVPs.

He even claimed that he recorded political figures including Hitler and Churchill. Fancy a listen? Find a link to this recording is later in this post.

Now EVP is defined by Raudive as a short word or phrase from beyond the grave.

So no, you won’t be able to squeeze a 3000 word opinion piece from a historical figure of your choosing, I’m afraid.

But the conversation about paranormal audio recordings has been present ever since digital goods hit the shops. Just think of all those blurry photos supposedly evident of the undead!

In fact, it was actually a photographer who tried to capture the first audio recordings.

Attila von Szalay’s first recordings in 1956 apparently caught spirits saying some seriously scary stuff:

“Hot dog, art!...Merry Christmas and happy new year to you all”.

3 years later a swedish guy was recording some bird song.

Each to their own, I guess.

Anyway, he replayed the bird song, and he realised that he had captured evidence of the supernatural.

He made out his dead father’s voice, and even heard the voice of his dead wife. And she was calling his name!

A few recordings later and he picked up a message from another deceased relative, his mother.

Now according to theory, there are 3 types of EVP.

Basically, classification A is a clear voice, B is distinct but requires close listening, and C is a faint whispering.

EVP training is even required for ghost hunting in order to develop the ability to hear messages from the dead. Clearly this is serious business for fellow paranormal believers.

What’s a spirit box?

EVP’s require a digital audio recording.

Spirit boxes on the other hand allow spirits to use radio frequencies to talk to people that are actually alive.

Supposedly the ghosts can manipulate the energy of audio fragments to form words and phrases not unlike those heard in EVPs.

And the great thing about spirit or ghost boxes is that you don’t just listen to the dead – you can actually talk to them!

Normal practice involves asking questions and listening out for rather abstract responses. But the fact is this is one of the most famous and trusted methods of communicating with those beyond the grave.

The first official ghost box was created in the 1990s, and the inventor – Frank Sumpton – created it based off of EVP and an article he read on spirit communication.

But if you aren’t convinced by the ghost box, what about the Spiricom?

Invented in 1980, William O Neil created a device that could actually hold a conversation between a dead and a not so dead person.

Unfortunately – and to no surprise – no one actually reproduced the results O’Neil claimed he had.

Did you know that in 1979 parapyschologist Dr. Rogo claimed that you could get phonecalls from those that had passed away? People frequently report receiving a short one-way call from deceased relatives, and it has even been considered a phenomenon.

So, you’ve heard the theories.

But are you ready for the evidence?

Here are the 7 spookiest audio recordings of spirits:

#1 - The exorcism of Anneliese Michel

This is a recording from possibly the most famous case of possession of modern times.

Heck, it was even given it’s own film to document the case, The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

But if you haven’t heard the tale yourself, the story basically goes like this:

A devout catholic girl starts exhibiting strange behaviour.

From unexplained seizures to claims of hearing multiple ‘evil’ voices, she was eventually deemed possessed.

And whilst the many recordings of her exorcisms aren’t EVP or recordings from a Spirit Box session, this is firm evidence of how important recordings were to investigating evidence of the paranormal.

Check out this video to make your own mind up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3aI8kpHxDM

And below is accurate footage of me noping the fuck outta here:

#2 - Next up is the Enfield Haunting

Now this case is interesting because it was largely considered a hoax evoked by 2 young girls.

Investigators used tape recorders and some EVP to assess the potential nature of the haunting.

What’s interesting here is that the debate largely centres around the supposedly possessed voice of Janet – the main girl involved – caught on tape.

Sceptics claimed it was produced by false vocal chords, and that we can all put on a creepy and different voice when we want.

But it was by analysing the actual vocabulary used, they could claim it was similar to that of a child and not a potential ghost or demon, and often evoked mannerisms similar to that of Janet.

Even on national TV, Janet waved her hand to get attention, put it in front of her mouth, and a strange voice was produced supposedly from nowhere.

Hmm.

What do you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OWgImgIRic

#3 - The Haunting of an Unnamed New York Hotel

In early 2007, the Central New York Ghost Hunters were asked to investigate a hotel in New York.

Why was it unnamed? The hotel in question asked for the name to be withheld from public discussions for the obvious reasons that their living visitor numbers would fall.

The investigator’s claim this investigation was one of their most active, which is not a surprise considering its long history.

(Unfortunately, this is hard to trace for this post as I do not have the name of the hotel…)

Anyway, the main activity they picked up was an EVP carried out by someone sitting on a staircase.

You can clearly hear a scuffle between two people as a woman asks someone to get off her, a rather sleazy ‘hello baby’, and even the ring of an old fashioned cuckoo clock.

Fancy a listen? Click the link: https://youtu.be/dXa0QrS-WV8

#4 - The Raudive Recordings

I’ve already mentioned Raudive and his innovatory practice, and thanks to his interest in EVP, he has created an incredible collection of evidence of the paranormal.

In total, he has 72,000 recordings of the paranormal talking.

Holy shit.

And this collection even contains the supposed voices of Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Churchill!

He claims Hitler spoke to him in Raudive’s mother tongue of Latvian which Hitler barely learnt while he was alive.

And what did Hitler say?

‘you are a girl here, or else you are thrown out’.

Yeah, I don’t know what that means either…

And what did Churchill say? Well, interpreters don’t really care much for what was said, but how he said it.

It apparently was a convincing EVP as it sounded like him, and was thus supported by many as evidence of the paranormal.

Some of these recordings were even conducted in laboratories to ensure accuracy, and Raudive invited members of the public to listen and interpret the recordings he collected.

So why not try your hand at it too?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dz1PzPrOXPE

#5 - The Glen Tavern Inn

This tavern stretches back to the prohibition era, and its speakeasy history – which included being a brothel and gambling parlour – have fuelled its rumours of supernatural activity.

Whether its murdered prostitutes, or fights between budding gamblers, it does have some basis to the claims.

And these stories were confirmed by an EVP taken.

If you listen closely, you can hear a woman singing as an investigator enters a haunted room.

Check out the EVP here: https://youtu.be/iRtJLPWByFg?list=UU1VrWEFyQYIDKuWWfRjyj7A

#6 - The Eerie Mansion Basement

Now I’ve never heard of this mansion and its murderous past, and I’m kinda glad I hadn’t.

Rumour has it that this was once home to Bill Ely.

And it was here that he killed countless women.

But it was when the American Ghost Hunters took an EVP, they heard some paranormal activity more chilling than the stories that haunt this home.

The investigator’s recorded what sounded like the whimpers of a small girl.

And when they got close to what they believed what the source of the sounds?

A man in a gruff voice told them to ‘Leave that girl alone’.

Yikes.

Want to get seriously spooked? Check out the recording: https://youtu.be/JqQ6dx_w4qs

#7 - The Queen Mary (the boat, not the person)

The Queen Mary is deemed one of the most haunted ships in the world.

And it was all quite a recent discovery.

Only in 2008 did Time magazine claim it was once of the most haunted places, but many other people have made similar claims.

For example, suite room B-340 is one such spot which is considered ‘notoriously haunted’, and a stateroom is haunted by a murder victim.

But the location we are most concerned with here is the first class area.

And an EVP taken here recorded a woman calling for help in an area frequented by many ghost women and children.

Listen to that EVP here: https://youtu.be/re5-OGabpHk

So, we’ve heard what the ghosts have to say.

And now it’s over to you.

Do you think madphantom actually captured evidence of the paranormal?

What about the other audio recordings here?

Let me know by leaving me a comment!

Oh, and when you get out from under your quilt, make sure you hit ‘follow’ so you can always be updated with more stuff to traumatise you.

[go-diane-winchester]

Why Screenrant is a joke.

Dollface sent me this.  It was mindboggling how much Sara Schmidt sounds like a quintessential heller.  Everything she pointed at as proof of canon destiel, is fecal droppings found on Tumblr. 

10.  Uriel stating to Dean:  "He has this weakness. He likes you,"

There is so much wrong with this.  You could mean Dean, the Winchester brothers or mostly humankind collectively.  But no, the guy with no sex drive wants to bang Dean.    

9.  Meg calling Dean, Cas's first boyfriend.

The fact that Meg is a demon seems to be lost to this idiot.  Oh, but the demon said something that you like, so she must be right.  Sarcasm is lost on these fools.  And yet they will say the same thing about us critiquing Misha's humor. 

8.  Mistletoe

That's right, Cas and Dean shared a moment under the mistletoe! Did you miss it? While Bieber wasn't really playing in the background, some mistletoe could definitely be sighted hanging above the cuties during season eight's eighth episode, ''Hunteri Heroici''.

The episode features some of Cas's most adorable moments, from trying to be a detective and sniffing a body in the process to staying in the hotel with the brothers, saying another great line: "I'll watch over you." No, it's not a huge 'ship spoiler on its own, but within the context of all the other great one-liners it seems pretty romantic. Or stalkery. However you view it.

Those are the exact words.  Can you say fine tooth comb?  The funny thing is that she does give us an opportunity to pick a view and yes, I do view it as stalkery, because that is what Dean calls its.  He says its creepy and rapey.  Even if we take it as is, it proves Cas likes Dean and does not denote mutual attraction.  

7.  Hugging

''Fans of Dean Winchester know that he might have a reputation with the ladies but he sure isn't what you'd call a "hugger." Yet he seems to be falling into Castiel's arms quite often--and with much more gusto than he hugs his little brother, Sammy.It's not that Sam and Dean never hug; they two share many heartfelt brotherly moments on the show. But Dean seems rather eager to leap into Cas's arms as opposed to the reluctant, awkward back-patting that he exchanges with his own flesh and blood. We get it, Dean. We like hugging the people we're sweet on, too.''

Talk about subjective.  More gusto?  According to who, heller?  He is a hugger.  He hugs lots of people.  Jessica, his parents, Charlie, Jack.  But hold the phone when he hugs Dean.  SMH. 

6.  The profound bond

This is the same quote revisited plenty of times.  This is because hellers don't understand the character of the character they stan.  He doesn't speak ordinary English.  Cas is more Dean's friend than Sam.  That is what profound bond means.  Even if we take it as is, it proves Cas likes Dean and does not denote mutual attraction.  

5.  Dean was able to break to Naomi's brainwashing by saying ''I need you".  Naomi also said that she knew he wanted to "return to him," which sounds like she's alluding to a romantic relationship.

That bit I cannot get.  Cas is so useless to Team Free Will that you can write the last five seasons of SPN without him.  But Dean needs him, why?  Maybe Dean meant ''I need you to not kill me'', despite the fact that it turns on the hellers.  Of course, Sara Schmidt chooses to forget that Jensen scraped the ''I love you'' line.  Sorry hellers, Jensen does not want destiel to be canon. 

4.  I cant summaries this delusion in one line.  There is just too much stupid.

Speaking of that phrase, how many pairings are revealed when one character utters, "I need you," to the other? It's a classic line that's meant to convey more than one need, to say the least, and Dean and Cas tend to state it to one another over and over again to the point where it's a favorite fan quote used most often to support the unofficial couple.

What makes this line even more revealing is Dean's famous disdain for the words, or touchy-feely words in general, as he's repeatedly told his brother throughout the series. Naturally we still get plenty of those brotherly moments, but Dean seems to not mind having those saccharine sweet sentiments with Cas as much and has said this line multiple times.

3.  Balthazar tells Dean, "You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you."

Balthazar is a jerk.  Taking him seriously, is the dumbest thing anyone one would do.  Even if we take his words as is, it proves Cas likes Dean and does not denote mutual attraction.  

2.  The beard stroke" in Purgatory together

Yes, lets reach right into our arse to look for proof, shall we?  This twat reach right into season 8.  Poor thing.  His clean shaven friend grew a beard and he was amused.  It must mean Dean wants to boink him. 

1.  Dean keeping Cas's trench coat after he died.   

In her over-reaching, she dug up parallels from Ennis and Jack in Brokeback Mountain and how Ennis kept Jack's coat after he died.  Typical heller behavior.  Madame Heller forgets that Jensen laughed at the stupidity of it.  Even Misha laughed because Jensen brought it up right in front of his face.  So he had to agree but behind Jensen's back, Misha called Dean a pervert who was doing things with the coat.  But don't you bother your teeny, tiny, itty, bitty little head with facts.  Stick to your metaphor and parallel if it makes you smile. 

I asked myself if Misha was networking again.  And how come Screenrant writes such questionable material.  I scrolled to the end of the page and found this. 

Click on Write for Us, and fill in the form.  If you are a good writer, you get your drivel published and you get paid.  That is why there is so much heller delusion on Screenrant.  They have absolutely no journalistic credibility because who the heck is fact checking?  No one.  Does Screenrant care?  No.  They just look for traffic.  That is why its called Screenrant and not TVInquirer or something like that.  They don't care how they get views etc.  As long as they get it.  The sad thing is that TPTB on SPN will read the article and think that its the voice of all the fans of SPN.  So lets do something about it, shall we? 

Go forth people, and flood Screenrant with requests to write.  And write the truth.  Its the only way to level the playing field, because these hellers are extremely underhanded.  Their hope may be to bully Jensen into making destiel canon.  Write about the death threats.  Write about Misha's mugging.  Write about the Travis Aaron Wade scandal.  Write about what acceptable shipper behavior is.  Write about how you don't want to see the forcing of a ship, that will make the leads uncomfortable.  Write about mental illness and how, coaxing a suicidal person like Jared to kill himself, is downright evil.  Speak up for Jared, because these people trash his reputation.  Speak up about Nolacon.  Speak up about Jensen's homophobia and his aunt.  Speak about the academic work that revolves around Jensen's homophobia.  Speak up about the entitled hellers who destroyed SPN's reputation with queer baiting accusations.  And earn a buck while you do it.  I am going to do that too.  And I will do it for free.     

https://screenrant.com/supernatural-dean-castiel-destiel-moments/

[theoldestsoultrilogy]

First and foremost, it saddens and sickens me to hear that yet another Hollywood child star has died. The world woke up to the shocking news this morning that, according to about 20 billion articles online which all contain a freakishly consistent uniformity,

“Cameron Boyce, best known for his roles in a number of Disney Channel films and television shows, has tragically passed away at the age of 20. According to Boyce’s family, the young actor, dancer and singer passed in his sleep after suffering a seizure, the result of an ongoing medical condition.”

This young, absolutely adorable, freckle-faced boy at the beginning of his life is now gone. For good. How are we to make sense of this utterly tragic news? But, what if I told you, like with most if not all child star deaths, all is not what it seems.

What if you knew there was more to the story? A lot more.

It took me less than 20 minutes of digging to connect Cameron Boyce to shady charities involved in child slavery, pedophiles and predators, and dicey elites like Richard Branson. All while the evil overlords at Google seem to have begun dramatically ratcheting up their control of the flow of information. These draconian measures seem to have increased in the past week, which was not a good one for squeaky clean, allegedly family friendly Disney.

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1145017021794529281

Disney megastar Bella Thorne revealed that she was being molested from the time she was 6-14, AND EVERYONE AROUND HER KNEW, AND NO ONE DID ANYTHING.

I want you to think about that for a moment. Let it sink in. Who could or would allow the sexual abuse of a 6 year old to go on? Why might they do this?

Once you begin to allow yourself to mull these horrific questions, and mull them we must, you’ll start to find the timing of Cameron Boyce’s sudden death particularly odd. Are other Disney child stars, with stories like Bella’s to tell, becoming emboldened? Had Cameron experienced similar things? Did those closest to him turn a blind eye? How plausible is it that a person who’s been famous for 11 years dies suddenly of a supposed health condition that’s serious enough to take the life of a perfectly healthy-seeming 20 year old and yet this mystery condition has never been mentioned before? Not anywhere that I can find at least.

Today I just want to present you with 10 relevant facts you likely may not know about Cameron Boyce his career and the people who surrounded him, but as always I want you to draw your own conclusions, think for yourself, and feel free to share your thoughts with me on Twitter.

Start here: Cameron’s IMDB. It is extensive and includes not only a long list of Disney shows and films such as Jessie, Shake It Up, Good Luck Charlie, and the recent Descendants, but also Grown-Ups and Grown-Ups 2, a new TV series called Paradise City (a spin-off of the very obscure and not successful 2017 film American Satan) cause, obviously.

As well as films such as Mirror and Eagle Eye which Cameron starred in alongside fellow former Disney kid Shia LeBeouf

and Cory Booker’s reluctant “girlfriend” Rosario Dawson, whom an inside source has shared with me has no say in the situation whatsoever. A virtual slave.

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1144082428551712768

Alright, here we go.

1. SOCIAL MEDIA DEATH HOAX IN 2017

When you start to understand more deeply that the information that reaches you is being shaped and molded in order to shape and mold YOU, and that celebrity influence is owned and controlled for the very same reason, you’ll begin to look at things like “leaked nudes” and even “death hoax’s and rumors” a little differently. You’ll start to consider that perhaps these are tools used to influence the influencers, to modify behavior when they’re off message, or stray from their instructed course. Here Cameron Boyce and his Descendants co-star Dove Cameron joking about the ‘death hoax.’

But can you imagine anything more traumatizing than seeing headlines tearing across the internet announcing your own death to the world? Consider the possibility that things like fear, humiliation, and loss of control are used to keep celebrities in line. Consider the possibility that this was a veiled threat.

Case in point, the front page headline on Snapchat the very next day after the recent bombshell Bella Thorne interview [posted above] went viral.

The humiliating ‘story’ was snagged from a random Instagram post back in 2016, but it just happened to be front page news the day that articles in major outlets were carrying the story of the revelations from her recent interview.

For the record, Bella herself retweeted the video of her interview from my original tweet. Kinda makes you think, right?

2. MEET KENNY ORTEGA

Friends, if you haven’t heard the name Kenny Ortega, I guarantee that you soon will. He is an A-list Hollywood Choreographer and Director whose #MeToo moment is rumored to be decades overdue. He is the Director of Cameron Boyce’s most recent Disney project, the Descendants (parts 1, 2 and 3) where he played the fictional son of Cruella De Vil.

With a long list of impressive credits including everything from Disney’s Newsies, and the mega-hit High School Musical franchise to Dirty Dancing, and Pretty in Pink, as well as a distinguished run directing iconic music videos and live tours for the likes of Gloria Estefan and Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega is the Hollywood equivalent of a mafia ‘made man.’ As if to prove it, which the cult loves to publicly do, Netflix (cough cough the C.I.A.) just entered into a very lucrative multi-year overall deal with Ortega, announced April 9th 2019.

So, how does one become a ‘made-man’ in Hollywood?

There are several ways, all of which involve selling your soul.

One way is to appear as the key witness in the $40 million dollar wrongful death lawsuit brought by Michael Jackson’s mother and three children, and lobby on behalf of concert promoter AEG.

‘He wasn’t being very responsible!’ This Is It producer Kenny Ortega testifies Michael Jackson and Conrad Murray were to blame for untimely death

What’s the big deal anyway? Ortega’s longtime ‘friend’ and admitted ‘greatest inspiration’ is already dead, Dr. Murray is in prison and everyone who profited the most off MJ rode off into the proverbial sunset. Zero accountability. Suffice it to say, Kenny Ortega is on Paris Jackson’s very telling shit list, right next to Oprah and David Geffen.

3. CRAZY DAYS AND NIGHTS 

Another way to get on the inside of the Hollywood Prison Pyramid is to be a compromised and or compromise-able person (depending on what level you’re at.)

You see, Hollywood might look like it’s about movies and TV shows and acting and stuff, but it’s really just about something called “controlled influence.” It’s about owning and controlling all those who are ‘given’ the platform to influence YOU. In order to get that platform you have to be ‘willing to do anything.’ Even as a screenwriter with several hot projects, I was instructed to say these very words. Words which I was told, in no uncertain terms by my high powered agent, that the head executives at places like ABC (Disney) were waiting to hear me say. Yeah, let that sink in.

And, think about it, isn’t it easier to own people who routinely do things that could put them in jail if anyone ever found out? This is why sick degenerate behavior is rampant amongst the influential. They’re not only enabled to get away with it (see Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K., James Gunn, Brett Ratner, Les Moonves, etc.,) criminal behavior is encouraged! Yes, Hollywood and Washington are a cesspool by design! Neat, right? 🙄

It’s my opinion that the death is referring to Cameron, the ‘director’ is Kenny Ortega, and the franchise is High School Musical or the Descendants, where underage actors and actresses were and are being ‘turned out’ — all as a part of this cesspool system. When it comes to the children, it’s the parents who sell their soul on their behalf.

There’s a long list of Creepy Kenny Ortega stuff to dig up, the latest clip wigging people out is his handsy way with Cameron Boyce’s Descendants co-star Dove Cameron.

Moving on.

4. THE KENNY ORTEGA JEFF BEZOS CONNECTION

As if you needed one more reason to claw and hiss at Kenny Ortega should you ever encounter him, he’s been involved with C.I.A. Amazon Jeff Bezo’s now ex-wife’s ‘anti-bullying’ organization, Bystander Revolution, which she founded in 2014 for whatever dumbass reason.

No seriously I bet this foundation is really changing the world you guys (she said SUPER sarcastically)

5. ORTEGA, EISNER, SANDLER OH MY!

You can learn a lot by who says what, and when. The very first ‘public figures to address Boyce’s death on social media this morning was Kenny Ortega, followed by Disney CEO Michael Eisner, and quickly thereafter by Adam Sandler. Sandler wrote, starred in and produced Grown-Ups and Grown-Ups 2; Cameron Boyce appears in both.

To the keen observer, this little tweet parade felt extremely coordinated, intentional and quite frankly pre-planned.

View this post on Instagram

My Love, Light and Prayers go out to Cameron and his Family. Cameron brought Love, Laughter and Compassion with him everyday I was in his presence. His talent, immeasurable. His kindness and generosity, overflowing. It has been an indescribable honor and pleasure to know and work with him. I will see you again in all things loving and beautiful my friend. I will search the stars for your light. Rest In Peace Cam. You will always be My Forever Boy! 💔

A post shared by Kenny Ortega (@kennyortegablog) on Jul 6, 2019 at 7:42pm PDT

“My forever boy.” Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.  Ortega later clarified that this was a Peter Pan reference, which makes it even worse if you understand the pedophile troupes in Peter Pan.

https://twitter.com/RobertIger/status/1147858501021995008

https://twitter.com/AdamSandler/status/1147859788794961921

Nice picture Adam, real subtle. Don’t worry, you’re ‘signal’ has been sent and received.

Adam is being such a good cabal puppet these days ya’ll.

Here you see he’s being rewarded:

Netflix reveals 30M accounts viewed Adam Sandler-led ‘Murder Mystery’

At a time when box office is limping along like the terminally wounded wildebeest it is, allegedly this film would have CRUSHED opening weekend, had it been released at the box office of course, which it wasn’t. I guess we’ll just have to take Netflix’s word for it since they (somehow) get to keep all their data to themselves for whatever as yet explained or justified reason! 👍

Now that I think about it, there’s someone else who does that too. They’re really powerful and super secretive, who is that again? Oh that’s right, it’s the C.I.A.! (Netflix is the C.I.A.)

I’m sure the fact that Murder Mystery was filmed at cabal kingpin George Clooney’s favorite lake in Italy where weird high brow art/child trafficking things go down, and written by an actual fucking Vanderbilt has nothing to do with anything.

I’m sure all that’s random. It’s not like there’s this handful of psychopathic elite bloodline families feasting on the blood of children who’ve held humanity hostage for generations or whatever.

Alright, onward internet friends. As you may have noticed, there are thousands of images of Cameron Boyce online. You have to really search to find this one where he’s got two fingers framing his left eye and covering his mouth, as if he’s been silenced by some group (hint: see above paragraph).

Well done, Adam. Good thinking choosing this picture to post alongside your tribute. This might even get you an Emmy nomination. You see, Adam isn’t bloodline, so he has to do stuff like this to keep his cult membership in good standings.

Note another very recent sudden celebrity death. This is Mac Miller’s final Instagram photo, which posted just hours before his death by ‘accidental overdose.’

Well would you look at that, 2 fingers framing his left eye, and his mouth covered. Almost as if it’s a sign to others not to speak out or they’ll whack you

Here’s the final Instagram picture Cameron “allegedly” posted of himself, also just hours before his death. There’s that left eyes again. Hmmmm.

6. CREEPY JOE BIDEN

Cameron introduced former Vice President Joe Biden at his Biden Courage Awards back in March. Today, Biden tweeted his condolences.

https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1147991178689810437

I think we can all agree that children and Joe Biden don’t mix.

6. HE RECENTLY FIRED HIS AGENT OVER SEX ASSAULT CHARGES

After Stranger Things child star Finn Wolfhard fired APA agent Tyler Grasham over sexual abuse allegations which came to light, Cameron, who was also represented by Grasham, fired him the same week.

However, in predictable Pedowood fashion, the LA prosecutor won’t prosecute the felony rape charges from multiple accusers. Now it looks like he’s escaped criminal charges altogether, and Hollywood is even looking at rehiring him in a talent agent capacity.

At this point, there’s no disputing that Hollywood protects pedophiles. The question you should be asking yourself is, why?

7. RECENTLY DISCUSSED THE DARK DAYS

“For about a year of my life, if I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t,” he said in a recent interview of his darkest period. “It was a bad way of dealing with fame, but it’s a scary feeling to know that everybody is looking at you all the time.” Cameron has learned to cope with it, though, and is adamant that he’ll use his platform of over 7 million Instagram followers for good. He’s started working with a charity called The Thirst Project, and is spreading the word about the group’s push to bring clean water to millions around the world who desperately need it.”

8. THE THIRST PROJECT / WE CHARITY

It appears that Cameron Boyce was involved with two separate but equally suspicious charities (side note: charities are just slush funds for rich people).

The Thirst Project’s list of partners includes the notoriously dicey Clinton Charities among multiple Hollywood studios. By its own admission they appear to be all about water but in reality focus most heavily on tailoring curriculum to influence political activism in school children in the United States (which is what the very powerful are most focused on right now).

Similarly, WE Charity, formerly known as Free The Children, is “an international development charity and youth empowerment movement founded in 1995 by human rights advocates Marc and Craig Kielburger. The organization implements development programs in Asia, Africa and Latin America, focusing on education, water, health, food and economic opportunity. It also runs domestic programming for young people in Canada, the U.S. and U.K., promoting service learning and active citizenship.”

So, the same thing.

This link is a must read eye-opening article about the 2 brothers who started We Charities – The Cult of Kielburger

We Charity – connected to child slavery  

We Charity is connected to Unilever, Microsoft

We Charity – connected to Richard Branson. The brothers co-authored a book with Holly Branson, daughter of Richard Branson. Richard and Holly also produced the docu-series Shameless Idealist with the We Charity founders.

I am certain there is much more to be unearthed down the rabbit hole of these two charitable foundations/elite slush funds. For Cameron’s part there’s a good chance he was either unaware of the corruption or if he was aware, involvement was not his choice but a decision that was made for him.

Side note, Necker Island (Branson’s) is about thirty five miles from Epstein’s island.

You know Jeffrey Epstein who was arrested Saturday and being arraigned as we speak for running an international child sex trafficking operation to entice, entrap and ensnare elites particularly in Hollywood, DC and the UK, in order for even more powerful people to control their influence. His indictment was unsealed at 9am this morning.

Is it all connected?

9. HOLLYWOOD GAY MAFIA

Michael Ovitz, once President of Disney and founder of Hollywood mega agency CAA, who was run out of town, famously said that Hollywood is run by a cabal led by  Dreamworks co-founder David Geffen which Ovitz described as the “gay mafia.”

Here’s a little deep dive on Geffen/Oprah

In addition to Geffen, the list he rattled off of this “gay mafia” included The New York Times Hollywood correspondent Bernie Weinraub, Disney Chairman (and former employer) Michael Eisner; Bryan Lourd, Kevin Huvane, and Richard Lovett, partners at CAA, Universal Studios president Ronald Meyer (Ovitz’s former partner at CAA); and Barry Diller.

In regard to Cameron, I can’t help but think twice about the very first episode of Disney show Jessie, his break out role. For a good portion of the episode, he’s in his underwear.

It is no secret that young boys are systemically abused in Hollywood, but how deep does all this really go?

10. DEBBY RYAN

Cameron’s Jessie co-star Debby Ryan started her career on Barney and Friends

Alongside future Disney starlets Selina Gomez

And Demi Lovato

If you remember, the actor who played Barney was arrested for selling child pornography of children as young as 10.

After that, Debby Ryan had a stint on the Disney show Suite Life on Deck for which Disney hired Brian Peck to work as dialogue coach with the kids, after he’d been to jail for child molestation and was a registered sex offender.

Yes, you heard that right.

Disney hired a convicted child sex predator and registered sex offender to work on their children’s show. Did I mention he was hired specifically to work with children?

Brian Peck remains a registered sex offender to this day and was still being employed by Hollywood as recently as 2016.

Ryan was also featured on The Jonas Brother’s, Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana before getting her big break and a starring role in her own Disney Channel show, Jessie.

We’ve all watched the personal issues Gomez, Lovato and Debby Ryan have had over the years. It’s time we understand what we’re looking at, a system I call The Prison Pyramid.

Conclusion

I hope you’ll dig further into all these data points and start to connect all the dots that need connecting. Cameron Boyce’s death strikes at the heart of why I’m building a new Hollywood. 

Love and Light to all.

In Unconditional Love,

Tiffany

    Cameron Boyce, Pedowood, and The Disney Death Machine First and foremost, it saddens and sickens me to hear that yet another Hollywood child star has died.

[frankrodriguez3-blog]

Learn How to Shut Down Home Intruders With These 7 Safety Strategies

01 Oct 2021

by Frank Rodriguez

According to the FBI, more than one million burglaries are committed in the United States each year, with victims suffering an estimated $3 billion in combined property losses.1 Fortunately, there are some proven tactics you can use to decrease your likelihood of a home invasion.

Most burglars won’t go to extreme lengths to enter a residence. They are looking for easy access with minimal risk. A monitored security system can be an effective deterrent—homes without one are 300% more likely to be burglarized—but it isn’t the only way to protect your property.2 The strategies below can help to maximize your home’s security and minimize your chances of being targeted by intruders.

Thinking about listing your home? We have some additional recommendations for you. Contact us to find out the procedures we use to keep our clients and their property safe and secure during the buying and selling process.

1. Check Your Doors and Windows

According to home security company ADT, the most common entry point for a burglar is an unlocked front door (34%) followed by a first-floor window (23%) or back door (22%).3 So securing these points of entry is essential.

Evaluate the condition of your doors and locks.

A steel door is generally considered the strongest, but many homeowners prefer the look of wood. Whatever material you choose, make sure it has a solid core and pair it with a Grade 1 or 2 deadbolt lock with a reinforced strike plate.4

Add window locks and security film.

Aftermarket window locks are an easy and inexpensive upgrade that can provide an additional layer of protection for your home. Choose a lock that is compatible with your window frame material and a style that is appropriate for the window type. And consider using a specialty film on windows that are adjacent to a door. Security film holds shattered glass in place, making the windows more difficult to penetrate.5

2. Landscape for Security

When it comes to outdoor landscaping, many of us think about maintenance and curb appeal. But the choices we make can impact our home’s security, as well. Thieves target homes that they can enter and exit without being detected. Here are a few tweaks that can make your property less appealing to potential intruders.

Increase visibility from the street.

A privacy hedge may keep out nosy neighbors, but it can also welcome thieves—so trim overgrown trees and shrubs that obstruct the view of your property. According to police officers, they offer an ideal environment for criminals to hide.6

Place thorny bushes and noisy gravel below windows.

Don’t eliminate shrubbery altogether, though. Certain hedges can actually offer a deterrent to robbers. Plant thorny rose bushes or sharp-leaved holly beneath your first-story windows for both beauty and protection. Add some loose gravel that crunches when disturbed.

3. Light Your Exterior

When it’s dark outside, criminals don’t need to rely on overgrown shrubbery to hide. Luckily, a well-designed outdoor lighting system can make your home both safer and more attractive.

Install landscape lighting.

Eliminate pockets of darkness around your yard and home’s perimeter with strategically placed outdoor lights. Use a combination of flood, spot, well, and pathway lights to add interest and highlight natural and architectural details.

Use motion-activated security lights to startle intruders.

The soft glow of landscape lighting isn’t always enough to dissuade a determined intruder. But a motion-activated security light may stop him in his tracks. And if you choose a Wi-Fi connected smart version, you can receive notifications on your phone when there’s movement on your property.

4. Make It Look Like You’re Home

Motion-activated lights aren’t the only way to make an intruder think you’re at home. New technology has made it increasingly possible to monitor your home while you’re away. This is especially important since most burglaries take place on weekdays between 10 am and 3 pm, when many of us are at work or school.2

Turn on your TV and leave a car in the driveway.

A survey of convicted burglars revealed that the majority avoid breaking into homes if they can hear a television or if there’s a vehicle parked in the driveway.7 If you’re away from home, try connecting your TV to a timer or smart plug. And when you travel, leave your car out or ask a neighbor to park theirs in your driveway.

Install a video doorbell.

In that same survey, every respondent said they would knock or ring the doorbell before breaking into a home. A video doorbell not only alerts you to the presence of a visitor, it also enables you to see, hear, and talk with them remotely from your smartphone—so they’ll never know you’re gone.

5. Keep Valuables Out of Sight

Few home invasions are conducted by criminal masterminds. In fact, a survey of convicted offenders found that only 12% planned their robberies in advance, while the majority acted spontaneously.8 That’s one of the reasons security experts caution against placing valuables where they are visible from the outside.9

Check sightlines from your doors and windows.

Don’t tempt robbers with a clear view of the most commonly stolen items, which are cash (think purses and wallets), jewelry, electronics, firearms, and drugs (both illegal and prescription).6 Take a walk around your property to make sure none of these items are easily visible.

Secure valuables in a safe.

Consider the possessions that are on display inside your home, as well. It’s always a good idea to lock up firearms, sensitive documents, and expensive or irreplaceable items when you have housekeepers or other service providers on your property.

6. Highlight Your Security Measures

While it’s prudent to hide your valuables, it’s equally important to advertise your home’s security features. In surveys, convicted burglars admit to avoiding homes with obvious protective measures in place.7,8

Install outdoor cameras.

Security cameras are the most common home protection device and for good reason.10 Not only do they help prevent crime (burglars are known to avoid them), they can offer peace of mind for homeowners who want to sneak a peek at their property while away.11 And if you do experience a break-in, security camera footage can help police identify your intruder.

Post warning signs.

Security system placards and beware-of-dog signs are also shown to be effective deterrents.8 Of course, you should back up your threats with a noisy alarm and loud barking dog for maximum impact.

7. Limit What You Share on Social Media

Social media platforms can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it’s easy to reveal more than you’ve intended. Be thoughtful about what you’re posting—and who has access.

Delay posting photos or travel updates.

It can be tempting to upload a concert selfie or pictures from your beach vacation. But these types of photos scream: “My house is unoccupied!” Try to wait until you’ve returned home to share the photos on social media.

Set privacy restrictions on your accounts.

Think twice about connecting with strangers or casual acquaintances on social media. If you enjoy sharing family updates and personal photos, it’s safer to limit your followers to those you truly know and trust.

YOUR HOME IS SAFE WITH US

We take home security seriously. That’s why we have screening procedures in place to keep our clients and their homes safe when they are for sale. We also remind our buyers to change the locks before they move into their new homes and provide referrals to locksmiths and home security companies that can help. To learn more about our procedures and how you can stay safe during the buying and selling process, contact us to schedule a free consultation!

Sources:

Federal Bureau of Investigation – https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2019/crime-in-the-u.s.-2019/topic-pages/burglary

Bankrate – https://www.bankrate.com/insurance/homeowners-insurance/house-burglary-statistics/

ADT – https://www.adt.com/resources/how-do-burglars-break-into-houses

National Crime Prevention Council – https://www.ncpc.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/locking-your-home-reva-1-pdf.pdf

SafeWise – https://www.safewise.com/blog/10-simple-ways-to-secure-your-new-home/

Forbes – https://www.forbes.com/sites/houzz/2014/03/20/how-your-landscaping-can-keep-burglars-away/?sh=2a8addf27429

KGW News – https://www.kgw.com/article/news/investigations/86-burglars-say-how-they-break-into-homes/283-344213396

Science Daily – https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/05/130516160916.htm

org – https://www.security.org/home-security-systems/home-invasion-protection/

SafeWise – https://www.safewise.com/resources/security-stats-facts/

The Guardian – https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/aug/18/former-burglars-barking-dogs-cctv-best-deterrent

Frank Frank Rodriguez

I've been selling real estate in and around Houston area for 19 years. Over that period of time I have worked for small and big real estate brokerages, but not to long ago something amazing happened. I got a life changing phone call 3 years ago for me to have an open mind to take a look at a new business model that was changing and disrupting the real estate industry. Fast forward - I have been with EXP Realty for almost 3 years and I love how EXP has given me the opportunity to provide a better service to my clients as well as helping my business grow. Being a realtor for many years, I know that you deserve a Real Estate Team who is committed to helping you buy or sell your home with the highest level of expertise in your local market.

[quicksilversquared]

How to Fake a Marriage Ch. 6

(AO3) (FF.net)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

The next day, Paul was sitting at his desk grinning when Adrien plodded in, coffee from a little shop en route to the bus station (laced with sugar and cream, of course) in hand. Adrien paused, slightly unnerved, before continuing his trek to his favorite desk.

"Why good morning," Paul said before Adrien could ask him why he was grinning like that (seriously, it was creepy). "And how are you on this sunny day?"

"I'm...good?"

"Fantastic, fantastic." Paul grinned some more. "So, I learned something interesting yesterday."

"Oh? Let me guess, it was the principle we learned yesterday during lab? Hate to break it to you, but I was there for that."

"No, no. Not that at all." Paul bent over to dig something out of his bag. "My older sister is getting married, and so like the good brother I am, I was helping her looking through wedding magazines, when I found this." With a flourish, Paul pulled out a magazine where, in full color on a two-page spread, Adrien and Marinette were getting 'married'.

Oh.

Whoops.

"Of course, I was more than a little surprised to find one of my friends in a wedding ad," Paul said smugly as Adrien scrambled to find words. "And with the 'friend' that eats dinner with him every night, no less! So I was wondering..."

"Marinette's my friend from Paris," Adrien said quickly before that line of questioning could go any farther. "She works as a design intern at Rosalie's Boutique, and they were doing a photoshoot for their wedding line. I got roped in."

"They don't have their own models for the photoshoots?"

Adrien shrugged as casually as he could. "I think they wanted to have a more approachable photo. If all they ever showed were tall, skinny models, how are people supposed to know if the dress would look good on them as well?"

"So they had one tall, skinny supermodel and one slightly shorter, also pretty skinny intern star in the photoshoot?" Paul asked dryly, setting the magazine down on his desk. "Yay variety."

Adrien shrugged again, hiding his wince. That was just the way it happened. He and Marinette just so happened to both be on the fairly athletic side.

"My younger sister almost screamed her head off when she realized that I was friends with a supermodel," Paul said, putting the magazine away in his bag before anyone else in the class could see it. "And then she wanted to know if you were available."

Adrien blinked, somewhat taken aback. "...like, dating available?"

Paul made a face. "Exactly. I told her no, that I thought you were dating someone. I know you've never said anything about it," he added when Adrien gave him a puzzled look. "But, like- okay, I know you're a good person and you'd probably be a fairly decent boyfriend, but I also know you're older than me and she's younger than I am."

That meant there was at least a four-year gap. Adrien wasn't particularly interested in dating someone that much younger, especially at this point in his life. Technically, it wasn't a huge difference- his parents had been born nearly seven years apart- but the difference was that they had been in their late twenties/early thirties when they met, not one person already graduated from one university program (and in another) while the other person hadn't yet graduated lycée, or whatever the British called it. People matured a lot in university, Adrien had discovered- it sometimes made having classes with younger peers frustrating- and besides, he didn't date fans.

(He didn't date at all, technically, but he especially didn't date fans.)

"Also, I don't like the idea of her dating anyone," Paul added as he straightened his calculator on his desk. "She's too young."

Adrien's lips twitched in amusement at his tone. He wouldn't have called it before, but Paul was apparently the overprotective brother type. Granted, if his younger sister was the sort who asked her older brother if his even older friend was single, maybe Paul had reasons to not want her to date.

"I noticed you didn't dispute the supermodel thing," Paul added with a grin. "You can't even argue there, can you?"

Adrien let out a groan. He had been so focused on the wedding photos that he had completely missed the fact that Paul had apparently found out that he had been- well, technically still was- a model. "I don't know about the super part. I'm just a regular model. And I'm not really modelling right now." His father wasn't happy about that- he had wanted Adrien to return to Paris to do a couple quick photoshoots for a couple weekends, but Adrien hadn't wanted to take away from his studying time at all. It would just throw him out of his groove and he had no real desire to sit posing under hot lights for hours on end. Regular, non-rushed photoshoots were bad enough- hours of back-to-back fittings and photoshoots crammed together all weekend in an attempt to get everything done would be a nightmare. His father could find a couple other male models to fill in. It wasn't as though models were in short supply in Paris or anything. "And I'm planning on quitting for good once I get this degree."

"Aww, really? But you're so pretty!" Paul grinned when Adrien made a face at him. "I suppose you'll be glad to get out of the spotlight. Do you ever have to deal with tabloids reporting on you?"

"Making up stuff about me, you mean? Occasionally." For the most part he was left alone since he was a model, not an actor or musician or anything. Most models didn't have to deal with the same sort of attention that he did, though of course most of them hadn't been modelling since their preteens and didn't have a parent famous in the fashion industry. The models that did get as much attention as he (unfortunately) did were supermodels, and they were far more serious about their modelling than Adrien was. They had worked for it, instead of basically being handed a modelling contract like Adrien had.

"That sucks."

"I've learned to ignore it. They can say what they want, and as long as people I care about don't believe them then it doesn't affect me." Of course, so far there hadn't been any particularly outrageous articles about him and he hadn't had to search for jobs with employers that might have seen falsified articles about him, so maybe he would change his tune in the future.

Hopefully not. He wouldn't really want to work for an employer who would make hiring decisions based on stories in tabloid magazines anyway.

Paul looked a little dubious but dropped the subject anyway. "If you say so. Hey, so have you started looking stuff over for the tests? I'm thinking a study group this weekend would be good, just to get things started."

Adrien didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah! I'll be free. I started studying yesterday, and I've already marked a few things that I might need a bit more work on. Have you started on your Electronics project yet?"

"I've glanced at it. Took some notes." Paul shrugged. "Haven't put anything together yet, though. You?"

"I've gotten a couple pages put together. I want to get it done by next Monday, and then I can give it some time to rest before I review it." It was a strategy Adrien had picked up during his business program and italmost always resulted in much better papers. If he put things off until last minute, he couldn't get the necessary distance from his paper to actually look at it with a critical eye. "And then I want to clean up my magnets lab."

"And study," Paul added.

"And study." Adrien couldn't help but let out a sigh at that. There were still two full weeks until exams started, and he already couldn't wait until they were done with the tests and he could enjoy a relaxing week off before the second half of the semester started. Once he got his projects wrapped up and his labs organized and turned in things might get more relaxed, but he didn't want to count on that. He had once during his second year in business and let things slide, and he had ended up pulling more than one all-nighter to try to get his studying completed.

Never again. He'd rather get things done ridiculously early than have to deal with too much stuff at the last minute. It was stressful and led to bad grades, which was hugely frustrating when he knew he could do better.

"I get the feeling that I'll be really glad that I'm still living at home," Paul said as their professor came into the room and started setting things up in front. Adrien raised an eyebrow at that; previously, Paul had complained about living at home. He came from London originally and his family lived close enough to the university that there was no point in him renting an apartment of his own. He had been fine with that arrangement at first, but apparently he had made several other friends in his other classes who either had their own apartment or who were sharing with one or two (or three, Adrien wasn't quite sure) other students and they had some fabulous stories about the things they could get up to without their parents there. Adrien personally thought that Paul's other friends sounded a bit immature, but he really couldn't judge that much considering that he hadn't actually met any of them for more than a minute or two at a time.

"Why do you say that?"

Paul shrugged. "Timothy and Eric were talking the other day about how much work it is to clean their own place and cook all of their own meals and it was just something I've never thought of before. It seems like that could eat up a lot of study time."

Adrien shrugged. It hadn't been something he considered to be too much of a bother, but then again he was used to slotting study time in around photoshoots, fittings, and other assorted industry events. Now that he didn't have those to deal with anymore, simple tasks like cleaning and cooking didn't seem like such a big issue. "It can. I tend to clean during study breaks, and then it helps that both Mari and I are fairly clean people to start with. If we make a mess while cooking, we clean it up right away. It's more work if we just put it off."

Paul snorted. "Y'know, sometimes with the way you talk about Marinette, it really sounds like the two of you are living together. You cook together, you clean together..."

"We take turns cooking and we each clean our own apartments. It's just that we have similar ways of approaching it." Adrien had to admit that if he had to have a roommate, Marinette would be pretty much perfect. They were both mature and got along fabulously. On top of that, their near-identical approach to keeping the apartment clean would probably eliminate almost all of the cleaning-related nightmare problems Adrien had heard about from other uni students.

"Hey, I'm just saying."

"I know." Adrien paused for a moment, thinking. "What you were saying earlier, that you were glad you were still living at home..."

"Oh! Because my parents take care of the cooking and cleaning for me. I help out sometimes," Paul added hastily. "But when I have a lab report to complete and, like, the bathroom needs cleaning, I don't need to worry about it. Or if I don't have time to cook, I don't have to worry about that either. And maybe I'm just assuming, but I'm guessing that that might be a problem you have to deal with? Having to put studying aside to clean?"

Adrien shrugged. "Like I said before, I try to keep it clean as I go. I'll probably do a full cleaning as a study break before cramming time starts, and then it should be fine until after midterms are done. Besides, I can't study all the time."

"And I suppose Marinette will be cooking for you so you don't have to cook and cram at the same time?"

Adrien shook his head at that and then thought about it again and shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. She has Fashion Week to prepare for and it might fall at about the same time. We talked about how that might be a problem earlier in the semester, but we haven't actually compared our schedules at all recently. She'll probably be working late leading up to the runway, so she wouldn't have time to cook either."

Paul looked surprised. "Really? I thought that, y'know, when she gets home then she's done until she goes back to work the next day so she could take care of the cooking and everything."

Adrien shook his head. "Not really. I mean, kind of? She's not required to be working once she leaves for the day, but there's a bunch of extra last-minute stuff left to do once it gets close to runway week so she has to stay longer to get that done."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She just worked late yesterday, actually. We had to dip into our frozen leftovers supply because I lost track of time and forgot to start cooking." Adrien wanted to kick himself for that little blunder- cooking would have been a fantastic study break, and then they wouldn't have had to eat leftovers that they had been saving for when they were both busy. He also wanted to kick himself for not finding out when Fashion Week would be, because that was fairly important.

Best-case scenario, it would be before his midterms and so Marinette would be able to cook for both of them while he did his exams. Worst-case scenario, both would fall at the same time and they would end up being a huge pile of stress.

He could only hope for the best.

  As it turned out, Fashion Week and Adrien's midterms didn't line up, but the run-up to Runway Week did fall right during Adrien's midterms and that was even more of problem than Fashion Week itself would have been. They went through their entire stockpile of frozen food plus several frozen pizzas during the frantic two weeks full of studying and sewing.

"I'll be glad when this is over," Marinette grumbled as she staggered into Adrien's apartment after a long day at work. A huge number of models had come in for fittings, and she had spent the entire day marking up little changes that had to be done. The following day would be spent joining the seamstresses to help with the alterations so that everything would be finished by the time the models came in for their final fitting. There had also been discussions on accessories, an argument about hair styling, and a frantic frenzy as they organized the shipment of shoes that had only just come in.

It had been a long day in an already long week, and it was still only Wednesday.

"Hey, Marinette!" Adrien called from the kitchen. The smell of baking pizza filled the apartment, making Marinette's stomach grumble despite how sick she was of pizza. They had it for dinner, they had it as leftovers for lunch, and she had even had a piece for a snack a few days prior. She and Adrien tried to mix the flavors up, but there was really only so much they could do.

"Did your exam today go well?" Marinette asked as she entered the dining room area. She couldn't remember which class the test had been for (something math-y, no doubt), but Adrien hadn't been particularly looking forward to it. Now that that test was over, he only had one test left before he got his weeklong break prior to the start of the second half of the semester. Mr. Agreste had called him up several times hoping that Adrien would come back to Paris for the break, but Adrien hadn't quite decided yet if he wanted to or not.

Or maybe he had decided and just hadn't bothered to tell anyone yet for one reason or another. She wasn't going to press too much.

"The test went all right. I don't think I could have handled studying for it for any longer." Adrien flashed an exhausted grin at Marinette. "At least my last test is for a class I actually like. I've been reviewing my notes, but I shouldn't have any problems."

"That's good." At least once one of them was done with their cram time they wouldn't both be on edge. It was hard to unwind when both of them were worried about something and neither had the time to cook.

"At least your finals don't line up with anything," Marinette said, leaning over the short dividing wall that separated the dining area from the kitchen. "I should be able to cook then."

Adrien laughed. "Is that a not-so-subtle way of asking if I can cook next week?"

"You caught me." Of course, it was possible that she would be staying at the Fashion Week buildings late enough that she would have to order out or snitch leftovers from Adrien...or, if he decided to go back to Paris, she would have to fend for herself. She foresaw lots of pasta in her future. "Have you decided what you're going to do during your break week? I can manage to feed myself if you're going to go back to Paris. After all, I'm only actually working on Monday, since that's when Madam Rosalie's show is. I'll just be watching other shows the rest of the week."

Adrien shrugged, looking sheepish. "I don't actually know. My father wants me to come back and visit him, but I kind of want to explore the city more while I'm here." He flashed her a smile, making Marinette's heart skip a beat. She might be more or less over Adrien- or at least that was what she tried to tell herself- but there were times when he was just too gorgeous for his own good. "Plus, I want to be here to see your first runway."

And then he said things like that, and Marinette wondered if she ever had a chance at getting over him. All signs pointed towards no.

"It might be hard getting in the building, but it would be nice to have you there," Marinette admitted. Her parents couldn't get away from the bakery, and both Nino and Alya were busy with their own jobs. She would have her colleagues, of course, but that wasn't the same. They had all seen the outfits a hundred times at this point, so they wouldn't have the same reactions to seeing the pieces as a fresh pair of eyes would have.

Adrien laughed at that. "Actually, Madam Rosalie already got me tickets. She said she normally gets some for my father, but he never uses them. She said it was as thanks for participating in the wedding photoshoot." He rolled his eyes and returned to assembling a salad. "I honestly can't figure out who owes who at this point. It's too confusing. But at least it's the 'no I owe you' mindset instead of both of us insisting the other owes us something," Adrien added. "This is much nicer."

"Fair enough." Marinette leaned over the divider, trying to catch a glimpse of the kitchen timer. Her stomach was growling, but there really wasn't a polite way of asking how soon they could eat. "Is there anything I can be helping with?" Now that she had (finally) left work, she was technically free. Adrien, on the other hand, still had studying to do, even if he was trying to avoid it.

"Oh, sure! I was hoping to have a fruit salad with the pizza. We can at least pretend that we're eating healthy." Adrien pointed to the mango sitting on the counter. He had been planning on cutting that up next, but if Marinette was offering, all the better. "You could get that ready, maybe. We should probably use it up before it gets too over-ripe and we have to throw it away."

"Will do."

A brief silence fell over the room as they worked. Adrien busied himself with chopping pineapple while Marinette peeled and cut up the mango. They got everything done and on the table before the timer went off for the pizza.

"When are you done tomorrow?" Marinette asked as Adrien pulled the pizza out of the oven and started cutting it. "Your test is midday, right?"

"Yeah, it starts at twelve-thirty. Thank goodness it's not on Friday, I don't know if I could actually keep studying much longer." Adrien passed Marinette a slice of pizza before serving up a piece for himself. "I'm looking forward to having a week to relax and get my head back on straight before diving back into classes."

"Is it a lot different than business school?"

Adrien thought about it as he took his first bite of pizza. "Yes and no? I mean, obviously it's different topics, and this time I'm at least actually interested in them. We have more labs now, too. But otherwise? The setup is kind of similar, and it's definitely helpful to have that prior experience of when I need to start studying so that I have plenty of time."

"Do a lot of other people struggle with that?"

"Some. I've heard several people talking about all-nighters they pulled to get a paper in on time." Even Paul, who Adrien had thought was smarter than that, had pulled an all-nighter already to get a paper done. Adrien hadn't been able to resist teasing his friend; after all, it wasn't often that he was more awake than Paul. Paul hadn't particularly appreciated the teasing, but he couldn't deny that he had deserved it. "How are the Fashion Week preparations going?"

Adrien couldn't deny that he was stalling, just a bit. He didn't particularly want to go back to studying, since that was all he had been doing all afternoon. A nap sounded far better, or a run over the rooftops, but he had to be responsible. Once he and Marinette finished up with dinner, he would have to go back to reviewing his notes and doing a few more practice problems from his book. Maybe he could persuade Marinette to let him help with the dishes, just to get a little bit more of a break.

Marinette shrugged. "So far, so good. I mean, we're working overtime to get fittings and photoshoots done, but almost everything is ready. I always got the impression that things were crazier because of, y'know, those TV shows..."

Adrien nodded.

"And I'm sure that the backstage area will be insane once Fashion Week starts, but we're hardly making stuff last minute," Marinette added hastily. "Pieces are finished, we're just polishing them up and getting everything in order. I wouldn't be surprised if we all finish early tonight just because we've been rushing to finish all week. I think there's some hand beading that maybe needs to be finished, and then getting things in boxes and carted over." Marinette shrugged, looking pleased. She polished off her pizza and got up to grab another piece.

Soon enough, dinner was over and cleaned up. Marinette excused herself so that Adrien could study in peace, much to his disappointment. Adrien had rather been hoping for a distraction.

"We're all out of Camembert!"

...a distraction that was not in the form of his kwami, that was.

"Don't we have other kinds of cheese?" Adrien asked tiredly as he flipped through a couple flashcards.

"Yes, but I want Camembert!"

Adrien sighed again. "I'll get you some tomorrow after my test. I'm not going to interrupt my studying again, Plagg. I just found something that I need to review more."

"Really? No more interruptions?" Plagg suddenly sounded decidedly impish. "Not even red-and-black interruptions?"

Adrien's head came up at that. "What?"

Plagg pointed to the window instead of answering. Adrien got up and rushed over, peering out into the darkness. Movement on the rooftops caught his eye and he squinted, trying to see more clearly. A moment later, the figure went past a streetlight and Adrien caught sight of a red suit dotted with black spots.

"Ladybug's out," Adrien breathed, twisting so he could watch his partner as she ran over the rooftops. His hand twitched towards Plagg, tempted to summon the kwami, transform, and run after Ladybug. He'd been studying for forever, surely he deserved a break-

A snicker from Plagg made Adrien snap out of his Ladybug-induced trance. He suddenly realized that that was exactly the response Plagg was hoping he would have. If Adrien showed any willingness to go join Ladybug, then Plagg would call him out on his excuse for not getting cheese because he was too busy studying. And of course Plagg would say that he would need his Camembert before Adrien could transform, so Adrien would have to go to the store first, buy the cheese, come back, and then transform, by which time Ladybug could very well already be done with her outing.

"Maybe tomorrow," Adrien said with the most dramatic sigh he could muster.

Plagg's mouth dropped open. "You aren't going out? B-but I thought-"

"I'm too busy. I have a test tomorrow, remember?" Adrien watched as Ladybug disappeared from view and then turned back to his books. As much as he wanted to join his partner, he couldn't. Besides, it wasn't as though he would be missing anything particularly important. He and Ladybug always did the same thing when they ran into each other on the rooftops of London. "I can't wait for it to be over. I think I spent too much time messing around with the study group. We didn't get much done." Adrien wasn't looking forward to telling Paul that if the other boy tried to put a group together for finals, but the others in the group just hadn't been focused enough and they had wasted hours chatting instead of studying. It might have been fun if it hadn't been so frustrating.

"Have you decided what you're doing next week?" Plagg asked, floating along behind Adrien. "You need to tell your father soon, you know. Same-day train tickets are expensive. So are same-day plane tickets."

"I'm not going back to Paris." Adrien had considered it, sure- he missed Nino and Alya, after all, and it would be nice to see his father and Nathalie and the Gorilla again- but Marinette would be tired from Fashion Week and it would be a shame to miss her first show. She would want to have a friendly face there, and she had already said that her parents wouldn't be able to make it. And then, once Madam Rosalie's part of the show wrapped up and Marinette had seen all of the other shows that she wanted to peek into, they could go explore more of London or maybe make plans to venture a little further on a long weekend excursion. He'd known his plans for a while now, actually, but he just didn't want to tell his father that. Adrien knew full well that if he told his father that his mind was made up and he was staying in London over the break, his father would flood his phone with messages about why it would be beneficial for Adrien to spend the week in Paris. The procrastinating on an answer wasn't preventing that entirely- Adrien was getting a dozen texts and a call per day- but he was waiting for his final test to be over before announcing his decision.

Plagg raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't tell your wife that...why?"

"She might tell Nino or Alya and then my father would interrogate them?" Adrien offered a bit weakly as he paged through his notebook. He didn't really have an answer for that, other than the fact that he had just gotten so used to not telling his father that it had just seemed natural to not tell his friend, either. It was stupid, reasoning, but so automatic at this point. "And she's not actually my wife, Plagg. We've been over this a million times or so."

"You keep saying that, and then you keep having dinner dates with her, and visiting her at lunch, and texting her all day," Plagg said, smirking. He settled on top of Adrien's computer and peered down at his Chosen. "And you're ditching visiting your father and your other friends to watch your wife's runway show."

"It's Madam Rosalie's runway show," Adrien corrected. "And she is certainly not my wife." He glanced down at his notebook and frowned suddenly. "And I really do need to study, Plagg. Just eat the cheddar or something. Seriously."

"Aww...."

[clarencenicholsonata]

7 Stunning Ways to Use Product Images & Content to Attract New Customers

People often spend a few seconds looking at a marketing campaign as they scroll through their social media feeds and search results. How do you get their attention in such a short period? When you add product images to your content, you give potential customers a better idea of what your brand has to offer.

This guide will look at how you can use product images to attract new customers and increase your sales. From increasing social media visibility to helping your site improve its search ranking, images can help take your online presence to the next level.

Let’s get started!

Why should you use product images and content?

Images are powerful marketing tools as they don’t just take less time to understand but also leave a lasting impact on viewers. There is truth to the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words. While you can list all of your product’s specifications, nothing can match a high-quality image when it comes to convincing a potential customer to give your brand a try.

Aside from being easier to perceive and understand, images are also easier to share, especially through social media. For example, Instagram ads have become the Holy Grail of visual storytelling. When you’re using image-centric platforms like Instagram and Pinterest for marketing, a good image can make or break your success.

Here’s an example from Coconut Bowls, an online retailer known for its beautiful and eye-catching product imagery:

If you’re still not making use of Instagram Stories for your business, then you aren’t maximizing your brand awareness. An Instagram story maker lets you use ready-made templates and doesn’t need design skills to master them.

One study suggests that when subjects heard a piece of information, there was a 10% likelihood they would remember it three days later. In contrast, after they viewed an image, they were 65% more likely to remember it after the same span of time. Using product images can help your audience recall your products and boost your conversion rate.

In the next section, we will look at different ways to use images and content to your brand’s advantage.

7 ways you can use product images and content to attract customers

To maximize the impact of high-quality images, you need to make them the centerpiece of your social media strategy. You also need to incorporate them into your website design, Google business page account, and email marketing. Great product images allow you to highlight your offers across formats without creating additional material from scratch.

Here are seven ways you can use images as an integral part of an effective marketing strategy:

Perform SEO on your images

Feature product images on social media

Post user-generated content

Include images in email marketing

Add images to your Google My Business account

Use high-quality product images on product pages

Offer a 360-degree view of your product

1. Perform SEO on your images

Most businesses focus on the text, headline, and HTML tags of their content. However, they don’t realize that images have an impact on their site’s search ranking. By performing SEO on your images, you can help them show up on Google image searches. This is important when you’re running an ecommerce site that depends heavily on product images to attract customers.

How do images influence your site’s search visibility? Google is gradually pivoting towards more visual content in search results. In fact, images now sometimes occupy a more prominent position in Google searches. For example, searching for “snowmobile” will yield the following top results:

The third top result leads to an article called “5 New Snowmobiles That Will Get Your Adrenaline Pumping in Winter” on a review site called Robb Report. The image itself doesn’t appear on the top of the page but appears after a few paragraphs:

Why does the photo of the Yamaha Sidewinder occupy a higher search position than the article’s banner image? A quick look at the site’s HTML code gives us an idea:

The code above appears on Line 132 of the article page. On the other hand, the top image doesn’t have any alt tags:

While Google Images uses several factors to rank image results, it’s clear that high-quality images alone aren’t enough to increase page visibility. You need to tinker around a bit with image SEO to make them rank higher in search results.

The example above shows the importance of alt tags in product images. Alt tags are often used to act as placeholders in case an image fails to load. Google also uses them to determine what the image file is supposed to contain.

When you add proper alt tags to your image, Google recognizes and indexes them immediately. This leads to the image getting featured in Google Images results. In turn, this results in higher traffic and more conversions.

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2. Feature product images on social media

Product images on social media can attract attention to your offers and help you create content that is both informative and easy to share. A study found that about 74% of the respondents used visuals heavily in their social marketing campaigns. If close to three-fourths of marketers use product images, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be doing the same for your brand.

The Instagram post above, from beauty brand Summer Fridays, is simple and focuses on the product itself. Even if the image is accompanied by only a short description of its features, it drives engagement and shares. It also works because while the post itself is information-heavy, it also aligns with the brand’s story.

There’s a qualifier for posting product images on social media, though. Facebook often shows the image that appears first on the page that you’re linking to. This means you need to ensure that the page has great product images too.

On the other hand, Instagram does not allow links in post captions, limiting its usefulness as a source of website traffic. If your business isn’t based in a location where Instagram Shop is available, you need to be creative with your approach. For example, you may use external links or swipe-ups in Instagram Stories to link back to your product page.

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3. Post user-generated content

While you can always use professional product images on your website, user-generated content (UGC) is a lot more engaging. UGC consists of visual content featuring your brand created by your followers and shared on social media.

People tend to believe that a product has merit if a customer shares their experience with it. Studies estimate that posts featuring UGC get 4 times more click-throughs than branded content. It also increases audience engagement up by 28%. These posts don’t just increase sales; they also help you create a community around your brand.

The example above from Tieks uses a user-generated image to promote its line of shoes. Unlike typical product images, which place the product front and center, user-generated content features your brand in an everyday setting. In the example above, we don’t see the shoes themselves that much. Instead, our attention goes to the mother-and-child duo, which is an even more powerful visual cue.

How do you encourage users to generate content that’s good enough to serve as product images? You could run a contest where users can share photos of themselves using your product and allow them to tag your social media page. You can then offer prizes for the posts that have the most likes and comments.

You can also use hashtags to help spread the word about your brand. These are particularly effective on Instagram and Twitter. One of the most successful hashtag campaigns, Red Bull’s #PutACanOnIt, began as a single piece of user-generated content that most users would find ridiculous (seriously, who holds Red Bull cans over Mini Coopers anyway?).

But because Red Bull takes fun seriously, it took the idea, gave it a hashtag, and ran away with it. The result? Over 10,000 photos with the hashtag #PutACanOnIt on Instagram and Twitter. It became so successful that other brands wanted to join in the fun:

Source: Shorty Awards

User-generated content is free, authentic, and relatable - all desirable traits in a promotional campaign. It also attracts new customers who want to see what the fuss is all about. When your followers post on social media and tag you or use your hashtags, it gives your brand exposure to new audiences.

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4. Include images in email marketing

Organic ranking and search engines are not the only ways to drive traffic to your site. Email marketing helps you turn your subscribers’ inboxes into your personal marketing solution. While SEO software helps attract potential leads through Google searches, email marketing helps you convert the lead into a customer.

According to Campaign Monitor, the ideal email copy length is between 50 to 125 words. If you feel you cannot keep your word count to a minimum, you may add images to your email campaign and let the images speak for themselves.

Adding product images to your marketing emails also helps you create a brand identity and reinforce your brand's story. For example, Apple's clean and monochromatic aesthetics are consistent through different channels. On the other hand, National Geographic makes heavy use of images, videos, and colors to reinforce its brand identity:

Source: Campaign Monitor

Take a look at National Geographic's email newsletter above, which pulls the reader in with embedded videos of wildlife exotic locations. The entire newsletter convinces the reader to explore the NatGeo site further.

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5. Add images to your Google My Business account

A Google My Business account is a vital marketing channel for small businesses that want to boost their local SEO. It helps drive consumers who enter local searches for businesses close to them. If they like what they see and feel safe about paying you a visit, they may come and check out your business.

The Google My Business page for the Jollibee restaurant allows customers to take a tour of the business in photos. It also contains contact details and address, business hours, and star ratings. These are all vital pieces of information a customer needs to make a dining decision.

Adding product images to your Google Business profile can encourage customers to give your business a try. If you already have a verified profile, you can open to Google Maps, go to your business profile, tap “Promote,” and choose the photos you’d like to upload. It’s a simple and easy way to increase visibility and give your business a visual presence.

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6. Use high-quality product images on product pages

While social media is an excellent channel for showcasing your brand, your website also needs great product images. Using high-resolution images on your product pages allows the customer to see the item as if they were holding it in their hands.

Source:Bigcommerce

The Stormy Kromer page above includes a short description of the item and offers different color options. It helps the customer look at different options and gives them an experience similar to being inside a physical store.

Aside from appearing on your website, product images also appear whenever you post a link to your blog on your Facebook page.

The fitness brand Peloton, for example, doesn’t just sell exercise bikes or treadmills. It also offers classes for all levels of fitness. In fact, it earns more from the classes than from the hardware it sells. However, because their bikes and treadmills are very attractive, they also make great subjects for product images.

Even if you sell non-physical solutions, such as software or services, you can always attach a screenshot of the product in action. These screenshots will help the customer imagine themselves using it. This is quite important as many customers consider the user experience before deciding to purchase a tool or solution.

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7. Offer a 360-degree view of your product

Another way to make the product's details evident is to show how it looks from each angle. There are three ways to do this. First, you can click high-resolution photographs of the product from multiple angles. Second, you can go the interactive way and include consumer touchpoints on the screen that enable them to take a complete look at the item. Third, you can insert a short video that gives you a 360-degree view of the item:

These product images are a great way to help users learn more about what they are buying. It gives them the feel of an in-store experience but with the convenience of online shopping.

Visuals are a great way to showcase your brand as they help you build a connection with your customer and showcase your brand’s story. They also help you create shareable and attractive content that attracts and engages your audience.

Use product images as a way to showcase your brand, highlight how it fits in with their lives, and tell your brand’s story. Using an SEO tool to add suitable tags to high-quality images will increase your search volumes.

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Related Content

8 Product Photography Ideas to Help You Sell More Online

6 High-Quality Product Landing Page Designs & Tools to Use

6 Facebook Ad Image Best Practices that will Send your Click-Through-Rate to the Moon

How To Build Your Online Brand With Images

200 Instagram Photos: Examples, Ideas & Resources for Your Business

Bottom line

Product images are a powerful tool for promoting your brand. A good product image has the following benefits:

Informs your customers and helps convince them to try out your product.

Allows you to market your brand to different audiences and across different channels.

Boosts your brand’s search engine rankings and makes your product visible on Google Images through SEO.

Offers your customers a closer look at your product. This is especially true when you include 360-degree photos and simple, zoomable images.

Attracts more engagement through presenting well-defined use cases for your business.

The bottom line? Using creative, high-quality, and high-resolution images shows your brand in a better light and improves the user experience. This leads to new customers, stronger customer loyalty, and more revenue.

Written by our guest writer Nick Chernets, the founder of DataForSEO

A leading provider of SEO data for the marketing technology industry. With an API-led approach to data delivery, DataForSEO is enabling hundreds of software businesses to enhance their products with reliable, accurate, and fresh data.

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[bethmunroemusic-blog]

10 Things I wish I knew before I joined a band

If you are a musician just starting out, then this article will save you time and money.

​​​

​1. Sort out your PRS account right now PRS (Performance Rights Society) pay musicians whenever their original songs are played in public. This means you can get paid for playing your own songs at gig. Lets say you play an average small show every couple of weeks, you're talking royalties of around £200 per year, and the payout increases as you get bigger gigs and play to more people. I remember back when I was unsure, was unfamiliar with how the whole thing worked - so I left it. Looking back now if I had signed up to PRS at the beginning, I'd have an extra £500 right now. You can't afford not to do this >>> www.prsformusic.com.

2. Be a hard-ass Keeping a band going takes a huge amount of work. Do not let any of your band mates hold you down with laziness, negativity, apathy or bad attitude.  You deserve musicians who are dedicated, hard working, professional, level headed, respectful and kind. This is your future, don't let anyone else take it away from you.  When I look back on my musical career, I see someone who stayed quiet and kept the peace with the wrong people, and repeatedly walked away with nothing but time wasted. It is one of the saddest feelings in the world to know that I let my entire career slide, simply out of fear of being called a bossy bitch. And I really, really, don't want it to happen to you too.

3. Practice, practice, practice My guitar tutor said: "A good musician practices until they get it right, a great musician practices until they cannot get it wrong." Mistakes happen live, it's actually not a problem with the right attitude - but walking onstage underprepared and terrified is bound to affect everything about your performance.  Practice your parts 100x until they're completely muscle memory and watch how much it transforms your performance. Everything will improve, both from the audience's perspective and yours. You may be nervous, but be over-prepared, and everything will fall into place.

4. Network It will always be the people around you that end up opening doors for you. Don't be afraid to send out lots of messages and emails, and make sure they’re clear, concise and professional. Your first message is often ignored, a good rule is to message 3 times, the 3rd say it’s your last message, and thanks for their time anyway. This approach is actually quite successful in finally getting a reply. Gigs will always be the best way to network. The gigs I landed at first were because I went to gigs, and physically introduced myself to the promoter. Be polite, smile, take a moment to describe your band and hand them a CD/card/bit of paper with your details, then message them a bit later reminding them who you are. This is the most effective way to get a gig. Other musicians can get you gigs as well, so it’s always worth introducing yourself to them. Just take a moment to say hi, compliment them and take a couple of minutes to let them know you exist, are a musician and nice human being. Lastly, the audience, if you're super friendly and seen at gigs, people will have a good impression of you before you've stepped onstage. Seriously, go to gigs, it's the best thing you can do to help your career. 

5. Do social media properly Promoters, managers and radio pluggers pay attention to how you handle your social media. Building an online fan base takes so much patience and work to expand into what you want. Facebook is terrible for self-promotion, and is not the main site you should concentrate on. Instagram is probably the best right now, (although there’s rumours about them restricting reach like Facebook, so be wary.) Spend time on each platform, learn the algorithms, patterns and behaviours of each site, keep engaging with others as much as possible so that you're bringing people in and not just hurling posts out into the abyss every now and then. Create content with personality, pictures work better than words, and videos work best of all, so let people see you, even just you chatting or a bedroom video of a new song. Let people into your life and make them feel like they know you. An important point: Set up social media for yourself as a musician, as well as for your band. The 2 pages can reference each other and bounce off one another, and if the band splits up, you're not suddenly starting from square one, which - trust me - is a massive pain.

6. Surround yourself with good people You deserve to be surrounded by people who are committed, respectful, and want the best for you. I’ve been in bands with some awful negative people, and I’ve been in bands with outright bullies that completely pulled my confidence apart. It happens often, and sometimes when you’re in the middle of it you don’t realise what’s happening. You will meet assholes everywhere on your journey, but the good thing is as time goes on you will be better equipped to recognise them.  ***Never stick to someone awful out of desperation, you are better off on your own than with someone who isn’t a good person.***

7. Play simple stuff well When I began playing guitar, I refused to let anyone hear me because I thought I was shit (I mean, I was shit, but that's beside the point.) I spent so much time doing exercises that I hated, so that I could 'shred'. I didn't even like it, I just felt like I was supposed to. I neglected the important things: being a solid, well-rounded player, building a unique style, knowing my stuff, and playing confidently. I sucked all the fun out of music for myself, simply out of insecurity and a need to be validated. When I went to study music I had to relearn playing simple stuff well. Learn great songs, not just difficult songs, find a balance of learning things you love and also learning the things you need to know to be a good musician - and practice it all to a metronome. Know your basic rudiments/chords/scales when asked, play in time and play with ease, this is what other musicians are looking for. It doesn't matter if what you play is simple, what matters is that you play it well.  

8. Budget, schedule, research and plan I know right? I'm sorry to be the one to say this to you. It's going to be a lot easier to reach your goals and do what you dream of doing if you set up a business plan, take small, logical steps, and always know what you’re doing, and why.  You are much more likely to get something done if you break it down into small, manageable chunks, figure out how each chunk is going to get done, and set deadlines. To try and keep a band afloat takes serious planning and organisational skills, practice budgeting and time management now, so that when you suddenly need to organise a tour or a new release, you aren't completely overwhelmed.

9. Ask for help People absolutely freaking loooove it when you ask for their advice. Never be afraid of bugging strangers for advice or small favours, as long as you are polite, flattering and succinct. Tell them you are unsure and would love their personal professional advice, not a problem if they are busy, thanks either way etc. If you’re struggling to get gigs or get noticed ask a more established band how they did it, or ask someone in the industry what they’re looking for, and if there's an area you could improve. All they can do is ignore your request, now is not the time to be embarrassed or proud. The same goes with loans or favours. Put yourself across as someone who's trying really hard to do something amazing, and people will want to help you. Be excited about this adventure, so that people want to join in. If you are nice and non-pushy they can only say no. If you are asking for anything from anyone, remember to keep it really, really, really positive, never winge or make excuses, you are there to sell this idea, this excitement of the fact that you are going to work hard, play great songs and change the world. Stay humble and remember you could always do with advice and help from people no matter who you are.

10. Be ok with failure You alone determine your future, even if your current band and the next 10 bands you join all fail. If you are going out there and making mistakes, and struggling through problems, and losing people you thought would help you, and falling on your ass, and starting over again - this is what you are meant to be doing. Breathe, you're doing just fine.  This is the amazing journey that’s been put out in front of you to mould you into a greater musician, a savvier entrepreneur, and a better and stronger person. This is your chance to prove to yourself how much you really want this.  I’ve seen so many amazing bands that gave up, just because they had a couple of setbacks or someone left the band, or it was too hard for them. This is the most common thing that will pull your competition down, and the longer you hold on without giving up, the more your competition will begin to fall away while you're still learning and becoming better than ever. If you don’t give up then you have a greater chance than anybody else around you. This could be the one thing that means you make it when other people don't. Hold on.  Beth Munroe is an Indietronica artist signed to WMTH Records. She is a guitarist, singer and songwriter, and has been a gigging musician for 10 years. She studied Guitar and Songwriting at the Brighton Institute of Modern Music, and has since been touring new material. For more see her social media: BethMunroeMusic.co.uk Facebook.com/BethMunroeMusic Instagram.com/BethMunroeMusic

[i-am-so-over-you]

Yoonmin Fic Recs Masterlist (only happy endings)

So I have been reading a lot of Yoongi/Jimin because they are giving me all the feelings, here are some of my favourite ones. I will keep updating this. It is short because I just started not too long ago. :)

Note that this is for fun only and I do not actually believe that the real Yoongi and Jimin will be romantically linked in any way. 

All of the fics are complete and on Ao3.

Updated: 19th February 2018

Wow it’s been a while since I’ve updated this list and I came back to 800 notes!! Here’s more of my recent favourites.

Aeon

aeonian (adj.) [ee-oh-nee-uhn] eternal; everlasting.

In the year 1304 A.D., tensions between the Vampires and the Lycans are at an all time high. Min Yoongi is the Captain of the Death Dealers and the most elite of the Vampires' protectors. Over the long years of his life, Yoongi has grown unemotional and apathetic, no longer interested in feeling emotions. When the human nobles come to visit, Yoongi meets Park Jimin, the youngest son of a baron, and his whole life changes. Suddenly Jimin is the most important thing in his world, and Yoongi will do anthing to protect him.

Me: Someone I just enjoy the same story of aloof Yoongi finally finding something to care about, no matter the universe. Enjoy this one, I loved it.

oil, lube, service

"Unless you know what a ‘rear oil change’ is? I mean, what the hell are they going to oil, my tires?” Jimin laughs at the ridiculousness. “Oh, I don’t know, but that sounds kind of kinky, 'changing your rear oil.' It sounds like the mechanic is preparing you for buttsex.”

“Tae!” Jimin complains.

AKA The mechanic AU where Park Jimin thinks Min Yoongi is overcharging him for car maintenance, but he's really not, cue Yoonmin falling in love.

Me: It’s refreshing to see real-life relationship struggles and personal insecurities in a fic. Honestly I think our fandom has one of the most talented writer base there is. This was so good. The author is someone I set notifications for so I get an email whenever they update. Amazing work. Do check out her other stuff if you looking for great characterised stories.

Warm Mr. Wolfie

Jimin's late aunt left him a cabin last year, and he still hasn't been by so he takes time off to spend the holiday season there. Little does he know he'll meet a wolf on his hike behind the cabin, a wolf that will change form in front of him and claim to be his mate.

Me: If you are looking for something short and cute this is the one to go for. Very fast burn.

Gotta Be Fate (If We’re Under the Covers)

Jimin is excited to just sleep for a day and maybe catch up on some tv shows at the hotel.

That is, until they get to the new hotel they’re staying at, and he gets handed a room key that’s the same as Yoongi’s. Meaning, he and Yoongi will share a room and worse, he and Yoongi will have to share a bed.

“Why do I have to share with Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin complains. He’s managed to avoid it this whole trip which is really in his best interest if he wants to keep his raging heart boner for him hidden.

AKA my response to Yoonmin sharing a bed, 8 years too late.

Me: I’ve loved canon-compliant fics, not because I really believe the real-life them are together but because it makes it easier to picture, somehow, This is so cute and sweet.

The Songbird and the Sea

In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.

But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

Me: I just want to say that I’ve been aware of this pic since a very long time ago but I refused to read it until it was completed (cos I am just not very good at waiting). THIS IS A MASTERPIECE.

Updated: 28th September 2017

Winter Blues

Yoongi is turned into a cat by a sorceress, and novice witch Jimin finds him and takes him home. Fluff and feelings ensue.

Me: This fic is fluff. Fluff. Fluff. There is just enough tension. Just enough angst. Just enough everything to make this the perfect warm-feeling fic to end off the night before you sleep.

7 Minutes in Heaven

“It’s a fusion game. The person who spins the bottle gets to ask the person it landed on truth or dare, and if that person doesn’t want to answer or do the dare then they either take a shot or take off an article of clothing,” Jin says like he’s proud of improvising such a fantastic game. “I’m not playing that,” Yoongi says. “Hyung, don’t be a party pooper, are you scared we’ll learn your secrets?” Hoseok asks and Namjoon ah’s dramatically. Yoongi shakes his head and puts his tongue in his cheek before he smiles at their antics, pushing Namjoon over closer to Jin so that he can sit down. “Please, hyung, it sounds like fun!” Jungkook says. “It’s my birthday.”

Me: Indulgent!Yoongi and shy!Jimin is my favourite thing.

Coffee and Honey

"-Hyung...- Hoseok sighs -You are as intimidating as a pink marshmallow. -That's the fucking point! -Yoongi literally bangs his head on the table -He IS a pink marshmallow."

In which Yoongi has insomnia, cannot for the love of God socialize, and Jimin is the way too cheerful and, oh, so downright gorgeus barista who works in a nocturnal coffe shop.

Me: As an insomniac, this fic feels like a dream come true.

13 Iconic Yoonmin Moments

"Taetae

https://youtu.be/jESuM-NRS9k 23:59 I feel like you might want to watch this, hyung ;) 23:59"

Or, the one where Taehyung sends Yoongi a video that shows the top 13 Iconic Yoonmin Moments, and suddenly Yoongi is way too aware of the way Jimin acts around him.

Me: I really love canon BTS fics and this one is good so much that it is believable. I really really love how the writer made it realistic and well-paced.

Money can’t buy happiness (except when it does)

“So, I know that you're homeless and that you don't need my pity, it's just that I noticed you always write on the edges of your notebook because you probably can't buy a new one, so I bought you six new notebooks and... wait, are you crying?” AU

Me: This made me sad but made me smile at the same time. As always, all fics all this list end well so get ready for some light angst that ends with fluff.

Please don’t take my Sunshine Away

"As you took the sun away from my life I will do the same. You'll never feel the sun on your skin again, you will never see the light of day. Only when someone will feel for you love in the purest form, in the brightest way, only then the sun will come back again. But too bad, such love does not exist and it will never find it's way."

Min Yoongi is cursed and hasn't seen the sun in three years. Enter Park Jimin, literal ray of sunshine, and suddenly the sun isn't so important anymore.

Me: As someone who has days that feel like they never see the sunlight. I think I am also looking for a Jimin who is the embodiment of sunshine.

in your eyes (it’s where i wanna be)

Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what his churning gut says about danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T.

(Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)

Me: This is just so much cute blushing Jimin and tough but secretly soft Yoongi. I love love love this so much.

Updated: 25th June 2017

I only rec fics with happy endings.

Heated Love

"In his daze Jimin barely realizes the seriousness of the situation, but he’s sure of one thing: he’d trust Yoongi with his life. And right now, with his aching body and burning skin, he couldn’t trust anyone else but the alpha to take care of him."

In which Jimin is going through his first heat and, again, he doesn't really know what to do.

Me: this is the continuation to the First Love fic further down this list. I am a sucker for protective!Yoongi and needyOmega!Jimin so let’s just leave it at there. I also might have a bit of a Hyung kink but let’s not talk about this anymore.

Movie Night

Movie night with the band usually means a lazy evening watching some dull western flick while eating unhealthy amounts of popcorn, but every now and then, when it’s Jeongguk’s turn to pick, it means gory horror movies that has Jimin burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck to not scream in terror at every single jumpscare.

And Yoongi? Well, Yoongi finds a new way to distract him.

Me: This is *blush* the filthiest one-shot I have on this list and it hits all the right spots. Featuring the shy Jiminnie and his indulgent Yoongi. 

Barbershop Romance

Jimin's impromptu visit to a salon called SUGA turns out to be more interesting than he expected. Way more interesting.

(Also known as 27 pages full of tooth-rotting fluff, painfully obvious flirting, and sexual tension.)

Me: This is just so much fluff and tension and Min Yoongi being a secret softie for our Jimin. 

Barbershop Love

Jimin has never taken his best friend’s jokes about his alleged praise kink seriously, because that’s all they are and ever will be. Jokes. They’re stupid jokes that Taehyung makes at his expense to see the shy Jimin turn into a blushing, embarrassed mess of stuttering protests and meek curses. They’re only jokes, and they’re so stupid.

Or at least Jimin has always thought so, but then his hairdresser boyfriend asks him to pose as a model for his winter collection, and Jimin realizes that there might the teeniest, tiniest bit of truth to Taehyung’s persistent teasing.

Me: I am quite the sucker also for a Jimin with a praise kink. Let’s just leave it as that. This is a sorta sequel to the fic above. MissterMaia is a genius, I would recommend reading everything they have written.

Greedy

Yoongi gives Jimin anything he asks for, but Jimin still wants more.

Me: SugarDaddy!Yoongi pampers SugarBaby!Jimin but his baby wants more. So much more. This is just fluff there is so much fluff.

Math Tutor

Min Yoongi is the school's resident Bad Boy™. He's covered in tattoos, is pierced, curses like a sailor, smokes like crazy, doesn't give a shit about anything, possesses a hot temper that has people steering clear of him, and is desperately in love with Park Jimin, the adorable math nerd. When Jimin is tasked with tutoring Yoongi in math, who is in danger of failing the class and being held back a year, both boys are hesitant. Yoongi because he can't think straight around the boy with startling red hair, and Jimin because Yoongi is scary as hell and looks like he can easily kill someone. Gradually, though, the two grow closer, and Jimin finds that Yoongi is nothing like how he'd imagined.

Me: BadBoy!Yoongi being a softie for our good student Jimin. Hits all the right spots.

Blueberry Muffins

Park Jimin, a meek, quiet assistant at Bangtan News Station, catches the wrath of his long- time crush, the 7’o clock news anchor, Min Yoongi, when Jimin accidentally switches scripts one night and almost causes an incident on live, national television. Yoongi is furious and makes Jimin cry in a room full of their coworkers, calling him names and telling him how stupid he is. Afterwards, Jimin takes to avoiding Yoongi like the plague, and Yoongi, who at first couldn’t stand Jimin, can’t help but start noticing him everywhere. Soon he finds himself falling for Jimin, which scares him, because Yoongi has never felt this way about a man before. Will it be too late to salvage a relationship with Jimin, or did Yoongi ruin his chance for good?

Me: Some light angst here and there but of course, like all the other fics in this list, there is a happy endings. 

The Devil’s Mistress

Yoongi is Captain of the pirate ship, the Devil's Mistress, and he and his crew are racing against time to find a famous buried treasure, always one step behind and losing it to another rival ship. To gain the upper hand, Yoongi kidnaps a silver-haired beauty who is rumored to be a creature of great power. He isn't expecting to fall in love on the way.

Me: I love the bed-sharing trope in fics. So this is perfect.

Side Dishes

Yoongi is Korea's most famous actor. He's kissed so many pretty girls that he doesn't know what love is supposed to feel like anymore.

And then he meets rookie actor Park Jimin.

Me: What? A fic with feelings and plot and also a secondary plot that is good enough to be a fic of its own? 

Magic Appa Love Scone

The one where Park Jimin thinks he mostly has his shit together until he wakes up married in a future universe that tells him otherwise.

AKA the one where fate slaps Park Jimin across the face.

Me: I know that the title sounds weird but wow this gave me far too many feelings. 

Sexy Mochi

Yoongi’s never really understood why it’s a stereotypical thing for alphas to have some obsession with omega’s necks. He’d always thought that was kind of weird and just some macho ‘make your mate submit by biting their throat’ thing until he’s alone in the kitchen with Park Jimin and his damn shirt falls down his damn shoulder.

Me: Omega!Jimin is a tease when he wants to be.

Spring Day

Even when he was a pup, Park Jimin never even dreamed that he would find his soulmate. Thoughts like that were better left to his hopelessly romantic best friend and partner in crime, Kim Taehyung. It's a one in a million chance, but a twist of fate brings a strange wolf into Jimin's life and it changes things forever.

Me: Alpha!Yoongi learns to love with our little Omega!Jimin. With a healthy amount of angst to add to the fluff at the end.

Updated: 3rd June 2017

I have returned with some new fics I found over the last few weeks. Enjoy! :D 

Out of My System

Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club.

Me: How do I say this, there are fics that start with one night stands and none of them went on as beautifully as this one. It is a natural progression, almost like a real relationship, I am like the way Yoongi is portrayed here. Conflicted but ultimately a softie at heart.

where the heart is

She hadn’t been ready to be a mother and Yoongi hadn’t been ready to be a father, but where she had turned tail and run, Yoongi had vowed never to do the same.

Me: I wasn’t expecting this single father Yoongi story to pull me in as much as it did. There is sufficient twists in this to keep it interesting and also a climax at the end which is nice. A soft, mostly fluffy story of how a Yoongi believes in love again. 

tear the moon from the stars tonight

"Remember what I told you. You are mine now and I take care of my things."

Joseon Era AU: Jimin, a low born, catches the attention of nobleboy Min Yoongi.

Me: I wasn’t sure what to expect of this Joseon AU fic but it was pretty good, with enough character progression. Read it for something different.

Paper Chase

Jimin thought that joining a fraternity would be all parties and fun. He hadn’t anticipated falling for his cute roommate, Yoongi.

Me: If you are looking for some light fluff and PWP, this is the fic to go for. It is a hard R so beware.

Updated: 29th May 2017

when you're in love all the lines get blurred

Jimin isn't sure what possessed him to lie to his mother and tell her that he had a boyfriend, but now that he's opened the position, he has no choice but to fill it. Yoongi is, apparently, his only option.

Me: I just love love love love the whole fake boyfriend idea no matter which fandom I am into at the moment. I really enjoyed this one there is some angst but also so must fluff.

The 100-Day Love Challenge 

For a variety show challenge, Jimin must tell Yoongi every day for 100 days that he loves him.

Me: There is nothing for me to explain. Nothing. If you are having a bad day and need fluff this is it.

Conflicting Arrangement

"Absolutely not," Yoongi deadpanned. "Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I'd even go as far as to say that you're my best friend, but absolutely fucking not."

"You owe me," Namjoon pleaded. "Come on, Yoongi, it's not a big deal."

"Your boyfriend's best friend's best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan." Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. "Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing."

Me: This is a really really long fic but god do I love it. It is worth it. Slow but the character development is really really well done. It is also yet another pretend boyfriend fics (I just love them)

First Love

Jimin is being courted for the first time. He doesn't really know what to do.

Me: This fic is in the OmegaVerse, if you are not into it please do not enter. I repeat, DO NOT ENTER. However if you are, this fic is just too precious not to share I want to drown in the fluffiness of it all.

Do You Like Your Drafts Rough?

As a romance novelist, one would think Min Yoongi would have his own romantic life sorted out a little more than he actually did. Because instead of being in a happy, nauseating relationship, Yoongi was juggling both a one-sided crush and some punk who lived downstairs.

Me: This is an AU where Yoongi is a writer and Jin is a librarian. I highly recommend the entire series.

we pass in front of a flower shop (and i catch the scent of roses)

Jimin's a florist who sings to the flowers and crushes hard on the mint-haired man who just came in to buy a cactus.

Me: Just picture Jiminnie singing to flowers and watering them because i am dying at the thought of it and this fic is exactly what it is. PLEASE READ for a fluffy time.

[cophoenixseo]

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[jewrocker]

The Trump/Twitter Hypocrisy.  When Will It End?

Last week, the nice folks at Twitter permanently suspended my account - again.  For the fourth time.  The previous three times I was kicked off the site were for trolling upstanding patriots like Matt Gaetz, Mitch McConnell, and Lindsey Graham, respectively. 

The interesting thing re: this latest suspension, was not that I was kicked off again. By now, I’m used to seeing my account suspended on what seems like a monthly basis - as well as having to rebuild my followers from scratch.  Whatever.  However, the apparent reason for this latest suspension was for posting a satirical clip a few of us Resisters made of president pie hole opening fire on a group of holiday shoppers -- an obvious nod to his own statement of being able to get away with “shooting people on Fifth Ave.”  The caption read "Raise your hand if you think this will be the scene the day after he’s acquitted by the Senate." 

Interestingly enough, no sooner am I banished to the Phantom Zone, forever, the Trump campaign releases a video depicting the president as the mass-murdering 'Thanos' from the Avengers, showing the president waving his hand and eviscerating the entire Congressional Impeachment delegation.  

Did the folks at Twitter suspend his deplorable offspring for retweeting such blatant hate speech and for all-but-calling for the deaths of these elected officials?  Did they at least suspend the accounts of those running Trump’s campaign who created the ad and who thought it was a good idea to publicly advocate for the annihilation of his rivals?  Did they do this because, as our Commander-in-Chief, he -as well as the people around him - should be held to higher standards than your average Twitter user? Did they do anything at all?  How about the last video, in which the president’s featured as “The Kingsman”, assassinating church goers, including entire news organizations, as well as shooting president Obama in the face?  Did they do anything then?  #Crickets

Why not, you ask?  Ah, that's the big head scratcher, kids.  Maybe it’s because there’s a shitload of GOP/Trump-sympathizing interns working the servers who make it their mission to tilt the scales every chance they get?  (That would explain our on-again-off-again relationship).  Maybe it’s because the geeks at Headquarters were playing Xbox when the spot was posted and not paying attention?  Or, perhaps it’s because CEO Jack Dorsey found himself puckering up and kissing some bloated, orange ass in exchange for a few undisclosed favors in one of the happy couple’s recent White House meetings?  Maybe good ole Jack’s so guilt-ridden, he decided to relocate to Africa to avoid the media?  Who knows?  The only thing certain is there is an unequivocal double-standard when it comes to how Twitter polices Trump vs. the rest of us, i.e. it’s non-existent.

Why, since this incredibly unqualified lunatic took office, has Twitter not done a thing to try and curb his attacks on private citizens?  

Why haven’t they taken any action when the president of the Unites States uses members of Congress, the FBI (poor Lisa Page), career ambassadors, even dead Congressmen and Senators, as target practice?  

Why have they stood by and done nothing as the orange idiot calls for the “outing” of whistleblowers?  Why are they doing nothing now that he’s apparently followed through and leaked the Ukraine whistleblower’s name? Aside from being a crime, this makes Twitter accomplices in allowing this brave individual’s life, and possibly the lives of his/her family to be put in danger.  

If all this is not enough, does it get any more pathetic than the president of the United States using his favorite app to publicly shame a sixteen year-old girl because he’s jealous he didn’t win “Person of the Year”? Or because he was virtually ignored at Davos in favor of this brilliant and brave teenager? 

However, the Orange Emperor’s favorite Twitter past time seems to be publicly shaming/attacking Congressman Adam Schiff - be it using his bully pulpit to criticize his physical appearance in front of an arena full of hungry zombies, or going so far as calling for his head on a spike. 

There are so many things wrong with this mind-boggling ambivalence on the part of the world’s most popular communication tool, it’s beyond words.  Forget the fact that the president violates one of Twitter’s “Main Commandments” on an hourly basis.  That being: 

“You may not engage in the targeted harassment of someone, or incite other people to do so.”  

Seriously, Twitter?  You’re joking, right?  Take away every single tweet in which @RealdonaldTrump has either directly harassed, or called for the harassment/public shaming of one of his critics and/or opponents, and you’re left with about six on the economy.  Out of about twenty-five thousand.  If that’s not bias, I don’t know what is.  

Why hasn’t there been a single article or opinion piece in the last three awful years by an executive at Twitter Central who’s watched their application be used for the primary purpose of sowing chaos and discord amongst his/her fellow Americans and who had the balls to try and put a stop to it?  Where is the Twitter whistleblower?  Something is definitely rotten in Denmark.  

Legally speaking, at the moment, there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do.  I’ve had scores of friends who’ve had to deal with the two-faced, spineless, hypocritical policies of an entity that thrives on playing judge, jury and executioner towards its users for the most minor of infractions, who, like me, want to sue, and who are then told by an attorney that, because Twitter is not a state or federal agency, they are not bound by first amendment law.

This is a problem that needs fixing, asap.  After all, we, the users are the reason - the ONLY reason - Twitter is a multi-billion dollar company.  It would seem being allowed to operate, virtually unregulated (you listening Congress?), you’d think the Powers That Be would be forced to afford its users some sort of protection under the Constitution.  Especially if they define their main purpose as that of a tool for “Public Conversation.”

Should the biggest entity for conversation/communication/breaking news the world has ever seen be allowed to operate free of oversight?  To reap the financial/social rewards it gets by providing such a platform and, in turn, not be subjected to any rules, outside of the ones it provides for itself?  Seems a tad one-sided.  Especially since they’re now a publicly traded company. 

Additionally, Twitter’s entire “Appeal Process” is an absolute joke.  A pathetic sham that mocks the user in its apathetic taunt to offer a chance at redemption.  Be interesting to know how many users whose accounts have been suspended were reinstated on appeal.  I’d venture to say the number is zero to none, as you aren’t ever given the opportunity to communicate w/ a live human being, or to fully explain your situation/defense. 

Similar to Facebook’s M.O. of treating its users like batteries in The Matrix, sucking every bit of life they can get before flushing us into the void, Twitter provides one of the most pathetically inadequate support departments in the history of support departments.  They make the cable companies look like Trader Joe’s.   I’ve had my account suspended for stupid things like ‘wishing’ for Mitch McConnell’s untimely passing (please God, hurry).  However, there’s a big difference between wanting/wishing for something and threatening to do it, yourself.  With each one-sided suspension, Twitter is telling us they are the Thought Police. 

The real dangerous part about what’s happening is, once again, we have technology far eclipsing the pace of regulatory practices/congressional oversight.  As we speak, there’s absolutely nothing stopping the most powerful man on earth from using the power of his office, and the technology at his fingertips, to threaten, intimidate, harass, bully, and lie, round-the-clock, 24/7.  Not Congress, not The People, and, Lord knows, not Twitter, itself.  It may take generations to recover from such a traumatic, incessant, daily assault on our senses, on the Truth, and our world as a whole.  And, for providing our unhinged POTUS a soapbox free of consequences, Twitter’s role cannot be understated. 

Imagine, for a minute, how much better things would be if they actually held the president to the same standards as the rest of us?  Imagine if Trump’s Twitter account had been suspended for violating their terms early on? Even for a week.  Not only would it have made him think twice before he attacks another private citizen/company, or out a whistleblower, imagine what an amazing week that would’ve been?  Free of hate, free of malice and misleading proclamations and declarations being spewed out and blasted at us from the most powerful man on earth, every five minutes, like the spigot of a piping hot sprinkler of hate on a sweltering summer’s day?  One can dream.

Til then, perhaps a massive class action suit against Twitter by thousands of users who were suspended/kicked off/banned for the same things the president does on a daily basis would wake them and/or Congress up?  Even if it’s not winnable, watching their stock drop a dozen points due to such an egregious pr gaff would make any company rethink its relationship with its users, and the public.   Feel free to email me - David.Fagin@aolnews.com if you’re interested in joining the suit. When combined, we ‘snowflakes’ form an avalanche. 

Social media has become the primary way of communication for 99% of modern society - not to mention a trillion dollar behemoth that’s virtually unregulated.  It’s about time these Titans of Text were held accountable to their users, from whom, they generate one hundred percent of their value.  Til then, keep a look out for my fifth Twitter profile. #RESIST 

(UPDATE: 5/26/20 After nearly four years and twenty-thousand lies, it's good to see Twitter finally decided, to put a 'disclaimer' on ONE of orange idiot's ridiculous tweets and hold him to the same standards as the rest of us.  (wink). #Babysteps  

Twitter also suspended my account, yet again, this past weekend for comparing White House press sec and houseplant, Kayleigh McEnany to the cliche bimbo at the opening of a slasher movie.  The Thought Police claim, by saying an empty-headed bimbo who walks right into a machete has more credibility than McEnany, I’m “promoting violence.”  Also, trying to fill out the “Appeal Box”- which, as stated above, as all but useless, would be a bit more fair if you were given more than a twenty character limit to state your case.

But my main point above, re: in lieu of a class action, public pressure can force Twitter and/or Congress to do the right thing and apply their policies equally, no matter the individual’s status, was just proven to work.  In fact, IMO the leader of the free world should be held to a higher standards than the rest of us.  Nonetheless, Twitter finally bowed to pressure due to all of us screaming bloody murder.  Keep it up, folks.

[adobe-outdesign]

"Charlie" Has Actually Been Sammy This Entire Time (Revamped with Evidence from Both TTO and TSE)

(Revamp of this post, now properly typed out and with tons of evidence.)

(Original theory concept by /u/theGavtel.)

There were many odd scenes in TSE, but there’s one scene in particular that really seems to have people confused: The ending, wherein Charlie dies via springlocks, then seems to show up at a diner later perfectly fine, only to have John declare that that “isn’t Charlie“. So… what the heck just happened here?

In order to understand this, we need a key moment from earlier in the book. When Carlie confronts William/Springtrap over the kidnapping of Sammy, he says this:

”I didn’t take him, I took you.“

According to William, Sammy is not the child he kidnapped. However, we also know that he didn’t take Charlie - after all, she remembers her dad raising her. But there’s one more key scene to help us out:

”Charlie, this girl looks like you,” he said bluntly.

”Not that much like me.”

”She could be your twin,” Clay said.

Charlie finds a dead body that looks strikingly like her. This isn’t just foreshadowing for her death at the end of the book - it’s spelling out what’s going on.

If you recall, Charlie and Sammy are fraternal twins - Sammy’s never been described, but chances are they look pretty similar. In fact, a quote from TSE directly supports the idea:

Except on formal occasions when Charlie was put into a dress—of which there seemed to be few—it was impossible to tell which baby was which.

They were similar enough that, say, their identities could be easily switched. In other words, what’s really going on here is that the “Charlie“ we’ve been following this entire time has actually been Sammy, who only thinks he’s Charlie.

“But wait!“ you may be saying. “Charlie remembers Sammy being kidnapped!“ But does she really?

If you look back over the scene, you’ll realize that at no point does anyone else confirm which kid was taken. Male pronouns are used for the other child, but that’s only because it’s Charlie’s memory. All she really remembers is her sibling being taken from her.

“But wouldn’t Clay know which kid was taken?“ Guess again:

Clay remembered when Henry had moved to town and began reconstruction of the new restaurant. Someone had told him that Henry had a kid who was abducted several years prior, but didn’t know much else.

Note the lack of gender specified. And at the end of the paragraph:

That was also when Charlie appeared; Clay hadn’t known Henry even has a daughter until that day.

Clay didn’t know Henry had a daughter before then because he didn’t.

In fact, at no point in the entire book does anyone other than Charlie herself tell us which child was taken. For example, those two graves at the end? Glossed over, no name given.

Heck, even the newspaper they look at is carefully handled to avoid giving the gender or name of the child who was taken:

The headline was small, but it was on the front page of the paper on Monday, November 1:TODDLER SNATCHED. Charlie turned away. John began to read aloud, and Charlie cut in, stopping him.

“Don’t,” she said. “Just tell me if it has anything useful.”

[…] She leaned over his shoulder. The story had continued over an entire page inside, with pictures of the restaurant, of the family all together, and of her and of Sammy, though neither of the twins was named in the article.

And check out this delicious piece of foreshadowing with with Clay and Carlton:

“He managed to convince his classmates and his teachers that he had a twin brother, at the school, for the first few weeks of class. I don’t know how on earth he managed it, but I didn’t find out until he got tired of the act and I started getting calls from school that one of my sons had gone missing.”

“But wouldn’t that mean Henry gaslighted Sammy into thinking he’s Charlie? Surely he’s not that bad of a person!“ Are you sure?

Near the back of the book, Charlie came to a Polaroid of her and Sammy together, infants bright red and squalling on their backs, wearing nothing but diapers and hospital wristbands. On the white space below the picture, someone had written: “Momma’s Boy and Daddy’s Girl.”

It’s implied that Charlie was Henry’s favorite - in fact, this may be why William chooses to grab her. In his grief, it’s entirely possibly he made Sammy think he was Charlie to fill the void. Remember how he handled the situation?

Her father never again spoke her brother’s name, and so Charlie learned not to speak it either, as though to speak it would send them back to that time and unravel them both.

[…] She was afraid to even think it, and she trained her mind to shrink from it until she truly forgot, but deep inside she knew it: Sammy.

And let’s not forget his lovely dismemberment of the frog toy in front of Charlie while she begs him not to hurt it. Something was seriously wrong with him.

This also brings the scene at the end of TSE into a new light. It always seemed kind of odd to end on Henry and Charlie laughing at birds - but in this context, it takes on a much darker done, as Henry very intentionally calls “Charlie“ by his dead sibling’s name, furthering the gaslighting.

Speaking of which, Charlotte is a feminine name, but she likes to shorten it to Charlie - possibly because she subconsciously knows “she’s” not actually a girl.

How about evidence in TTO? First off, the heads that Charlie make seem to lampshade this idea, as /u/PuppetGeist pointed out. It’s emphasized during Charlie’s dream sequence with them, as she pictures them crying for her not to leave them, then pictures matted things hanging from the ceiling - the costumes from the room her twin was taken from.

“You,” said the first. Its lips moved to shape the syllable, but never parted. They weren’t made to open.

“I,” the second replied, making the same soft, constrained movement.

“You are,” said the first.

“Am I?” said the second.

“You are Charlie.“ “I am.“ “You are.“ “Am I?“

Or how about when Charlie’s talking with John about Sammy?

“Like I have another self: someone who’s a part of me and is always with me.”

[…] “Then when I learned the truth, and those memories started coming back to me - John, I felt whole in a way I don’t even know how to describe.

That picture John says is of Charlie when she was a very little girl?

A short, chubby girl gave a toothy grin for the camera - minus one tooth. Charlie smiled back at her. “I don’t remember this.“

And, if you needed it spelled out even further, look what happens when Charlie looks into the mirror:

Her refection looked wrong somehow, off, as if it wasn’t herself she saw, but a copy. Someone else dressed as her.

This was what was happening in TTO. The hallucination-based unused pizzeria is the AU version of CBEAR, and it’s also underground - hence how no one knew where it was and why it was connected to Charlie’s house (think SL’s Breaker Room map). The door that Charlie obsesses over, that she feels a heartbeat through towards the end of the book? That’s where the real Charlie has been this entire time - hence why Charlie feels her presence stronger in the hallucination location.

Springtrap says he took the Charlie we know because he doesn’t know that isn’t the real Charlie. And after Sammy-as-Charlie dies, the actual Charlie shows up - because the door opened right before the house collapsed, given her a chance to escape. This is why John says it “isn’t Charlie“ - note how the real Charlie is wearing a dress of all things, while the Charlie we know prefers pants and jeans.

This is also why the dead doppelganger is brought up early on - it’s foreshadowing to there being more than one Charlie, with one of them being dead by the end of the book.

Finally, as I pointed out in this theory, everything in the TSE books parallels the main lore. Remember the message with the box?

Some things are best left forgotten, for now.

We seem to be playing as the Bitten Child in 4 - the noise-making hallucinogenic devices are what gives the Nightmares their appearances, which means the protag must have seen the Bite. However, each night parallels the minigames in terms of gameplay - including Night 6 and 7, the night after the Bitten Child died. Combine that with the hospital items that the Bitten Child couldn’t have seen because he was comatose, and we have to be playing as the Older Brother.

Just like Charlie, he’s repressed his memory of his dead sibling and now thinks he is that dead sibling - which comes to a climax in FNAF 4, the game paralleled by TTO.

Finally, remember how Scott said the “pieces put together“ were in the box and how the Bitten Child is described as “broken“? And how FNAF World has the pieces be the minigame hints, which you put into place to free the kid’s souls?

I have these dreams where I can feel him on the other side of something, like he’s so close to me, but he’s stuck somewhere. Like he’s in a box, or I’m in a box. I can’t tell.

[…] Charlie leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. Locked in a box, a dark and cramped box, can’t move, can’t see, can’t think. Let me out!

TL;DR: William took Charlie. The Charlie we know was actually Sammy this entire time, gaslighted into thinking he was Charlie by Henry. The actual Charlie shows up at the end of TTO after escaping from behind the door, alive and well.