#shit i think im about to get into sneezing f

[possibly-in-wonderland]

me, sitting on the couch:

auditory shit: *unintelligible* THE GIRLS, *real name*

me: *almost falls over from the sudden non-existent yell*

[invisiblue]

Also felt like sharing an old list of vine that i have:

you want a treat? yas YAS

merry crisis merry crysler

1 thing worst than a rapist

mouthwash shots (luke vines)

rebecca is not what u thinking

drugs owl

run umbrella

my imortal black cat

red dress lana del rey chicken

is that a weed? Im calling the police 911

ipot microwave snoopy dog

2 bros chilling

im still a piece of garbage

the flock is in the air

pepe the frog - hello darkness my old friend

and they were roomates

Its a fucking bear (all around me are familiar...)

vaccum cleanner shes a maniac

thts free water hotel

road work a head yeah

AA AAA AAAA bateries

black panther blows paws psipsispsi

ttttttarget

hello hello hello teacher

what are those? CrocksD,

that was legitness

country boy i lov u :p

if you love me let me gooo grass

Jared 19 i dont know how 2 read

bring the beeties any thing for u beyonce

im michael with a b, where is the b?

3 dinos crawling in my skin

thx Obama

helium balloon car

helium balloon church

2 girls michael jackson walking

brandon whats num1? bitch I dont give a f

UKs look its the fucking rain

Goofy Goof wake me up

goat dont you yell at your mom

guardiam of the sand fuck off

look at this graph

fuck that shit im out

what the fuck photo/calculator in a show

im lesbian a thought u were american

This bitch is empty yeet

a piss of your water, its vodka, its vinegar

look at all of those chickens

cooking lady 2 shots of vodka

sounds trapped in your mind yoga

bible studies we're all children of jesus

lets go to the beach beach nicki minjaj

avocado guaca mole guaca guacamole

child throws doll law and order SVU

lipstick in my valentino white bag

*sneeze* nice ron

lebron james

oh drink this vodka dumbass skyy

false rat supermarket is it real

yaaa yaaahh boy basketball ball head

omg is that alowded? couple hugging

welcome to jesus line youre alive

whoever trow that paper your mom is a whore

BICTH

ADAM

we’re breaking free

little girl wii sports

birds running away from wave

jonny has 19 bootle of soup mind yo business

is that a chicken (little pig)

hurricane katrina more like hurricane tortilla

and omg colesterol

im librarian

cockroach you need jesus

i wash me in my clothes

2 free tacos

pasta in the pocket

anything better than pussy a rly good book

can i pls get a waffle

0,69 cents not enough for chicken nuggets

4 female ghostbuster feminists are over

kevin kevin watch the light dude

nacho credit card transaction complete

you mess with my truck

oriental lady with her cat

scrolling insta declaration of independence

make me yoyo man but the yoyo master

ask me what kind of tree we have

ωσω smoke

guy bottle flips glass of water

dont tell your mother DIE FOR EACH OTHER

piano SAIL

hum, shithead? Its Shafi

blink once if youre hitler omg

lollipop snake (take me away)

10M point for griffinpuff

who is that pokemon? its pikachu/ cleafary

COD: BOIII - Awekening

little dog with italian flag (italian music)

hahaha i do that

duck youre just like your father

why dont we just relax? turn on the radio

go back to sleep and starve

love yourself accept yourself

wtf kyle step the fuck up

cute carnivorous plant xtmas

little dog running sofa all around me...

jesus car take the wheel

watch your language jesus car

im 11 so shut the fuck up

round and round rihanna bathtub

how do you feel about the corner dog

its time to wake up noo penguin seadog

you have to say that youre fine

if your name is junior raise your hand

do inch worm like to party?

inch worm dancing fast

kidnaping in school its okay he woke up

little girl car its gonna eat you omg

boys gets his free taco who can say

frying pan naruto sound

2 girls dancing store alarm

i smell like beef

pumped kids vine

*mission impossible music* camera spoted

PATRICIA honey can u be quiet

jonh bbq and foot massage

my impression of britsh driver

am i a womf

hipism that was magestic

happy birthday raven i cant swin

4x4 = 16

jurassic park mom and baby screaming

sony logo

photosinthesis hacked

not being racist i love goat cheese

what a those? converse dino jurassic park

tampons? TAMPONS

oh for fuck sake oh for fuck sake

bitch call me ugly i sad bitch where? muslin

yas Yas YASSS dinos jurassic world

cat walking car horn ☆ive been feeling☆

how did u kill cap ameri? shield size of a plate

guy making phone sounds

rapper guy looking in the dictionary imposs

mission imposs little hamster

40% sale/sail music

ladie lipsinging car

u feel so nice dino toy petting real cat

little puppy runnig shoe store

guy scooter never gonna dance again

trump know a lot about truck binbinbinbin

yungman grave

Liam Neeson vine

iridocyclitis

topic out of question permission denied next

we are in this together political discurso

old lady what are they saying

shaking my head shaking my head

hey dont you want to be famous?

I should have left u... But you didnt

fuck off janet im not going to your bby shower

chillary clinton, im just chilling

any spirits here, this sounds like shakira?

10 people died in a fire last night news

verified in twitter but are u in the eyes of god

i want ro be president slavery legal again

cheerleader and mascor together

*shoot* thats why mom doesnt love u

cowgirl boot fucking bitch DISGUSTING

little kitty keyboard xxxxxxxxx

im from every continent in africa

car sound made by instrument

girl walking away kitchen dad upset

girlfriend take a real gun from game

move im gay

faces eating faces disagreeing

thats not correct according to encyclopedia...

zack stop za stop

freestyle dance teacher

rip u face off, what did he do? He f pushed me

on all levels expect physical im a wolf

we all die u either kill yourself or get killed

shaved my eyebrows i...d...k

my birthday gift on my birthday present

cheese of thruth immigrants cause cancer

guy driving dancing classic music girl filming

woman full cigarettes cherif

naruto run university

Soup for my family

[ramblesbambles]

Ramble Ramble Ramble

I feel so alienated from my family and friends. Per usual I'd say but its just that they don't vibe fully with my interests. As far as family its mainly my mother. She always picks on me when it comes to occasions. Telling me to leave "jokingly", but it def seems like she wants me to leave every occasion that I'm near her in public or Infront of family. Standoff-ish is the right word. My older brother calls me a f*ggot every time i try to do something alternative, while my younger brother silently judges me in a corner. Chiming in every now and then about how my ideals are skewed or how phenomenally stupid I am. I can say im a ditz but its to the point where I feel worthlessly stupid. I've told them so many times that it hurts me but they always seem to "forget". Especially my mother. Should I move out? Yes, but the con is I'm without my pets and my father, and I'm anxious anyways so trying to get groceries or finding room mates may be diffacult... Friends are... Something. Certainly they aren't my friends. They're more of the HS friends that stick together besides the group breaking at the seems to stay together. They don't like my ideas of fun, nor do they like my ideas at all. They're more... traditional in their tastes, very midwestern in their clothes and Christian in their beliefs. No problem there, but I do fancy myself as (a REALLy cringe way of saying it) admirer of the anti-christ..???? That's a whole different rant, and not for the reasons you think it is. I'm not a satanist, or at least the ones they portray in the media. I find myself to be really into the occult, and rawness of ancient worship. BACK THE THE TOPIC; They're not my friends, and college hasn't been helping due the type of college it is. I want more alternative friends, that dont think im abysmally stupid or schizo for thinking differently. That is something tho that doesn't help my situation. BPD, borderline personality disorder. My therapist when I was in 7th grade was weary to give me the diagnosis (bc every teenager goes through some of the symptoms at that age) , but my most recent 2 therapists agree that I do in fact have it... Along with other things. No, I wasn't a bad patient, just got moved around from one clinic to another. God I hope this doesn't come off as attention seeking, I know its so fucking popular on the internet to just claim you have horrible disease/disorder to get sympathy points and comments. But im just putting it here to explain my noggin. ANYWAY, the personality swings have effected so many of my relationships. One day of wanting to be friends with someone, the next I demonize them in my head, going into panic mode whenever they sneeze or some shit. God I'm such a looser. The fact I'm so selfish to think that is nuts. I hate hate hate it. I can be myself but I fear others, others that dont like me or prefer me the way I am. Why are goth shoes so damn expensive? I sound so stupid, I never made it out of my 7th grade phase, the lies by others are such a rats ass. I wanna be myself and not be edgy, I wanna be myself and have my parents respect me. All the jobs and lifestyles i want dont mix. I can't be goth and be a farmer. I can't be an ecologist and choose to wear black clothes. I can't be an artist and expect to be good. I'm such a copy and paste person. Every other artsy fartsy frag from middle school who expects to make it big is me and i am them. Im not different. I have no competition since i already lost. god why the fuck self loathing, this is so selfish to think this all of this im not gonna put periods in this bc i dont want to

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

[i-may-be-stupit]

Shigaraki x Silly!Reader

As usual, this is rather gender-neutral and the horny got me because I fukn love Shiggy 🥵😍 but yeah, enjoy!

You typed up a report of the latest incident between Endeavor and the league of Villains. Well, actually, you were just editing your boss's writing. She was a journalist and you were her assistant. You rolled your eyes, reading through it and fixing any grammar mistakes or typos you came across. Why the hell is she making Endeavor seem so god damn perfect? I mean, when you first met him, you told the guy a joke and he hasn't stopped glaring at you ever since. You rolled your eyes at just the thought of that fuck-faced jackass.

Not only were you the editor, but you were also the secretary in the news office building which is a whole different job as it is. You blew a bubble from your gum and turned your music in your earbuds up a bit more, since the day was going slow. Yeah, there'd be a scoop here and there but not a lot.

You looked up to see a guy with red eyes and a black hoodie grinning evily while saying stuff to you. You just stared at him until he finished talking. He looked at you and you looked at him. You spat your gum in a tissue then took out your earbuds. You smiled softly at the man. "I'm sorry, you said you wanted a visitors' pass?"

The man looked at you with a blank stare at first. "You didn't hear anything I just said?" You shook your head. He frowned and tilted his head in annoyance, "I was talking for like 3 minutes straight." You just blinked. "I just explained my whole reasoning for kidnapping you for information on Endeavor."

You smiled at him, "Im sorry sir, I'm just the secretary, but the information desk is on floor three, just take that elevator to the right and-"

"What the fuck, bitch?!" He opened his arms wide in anger, "Do you not recognize me from the news?!"

You put a finger on your chin and tapped it in thought for a moment, before clicking your tongue and snapping your finger, "Ah, you must be a pro hero or something!" His jaw dropped. "Wow, no wonder youre so handsome!" You took the bottle of lotion out of your desk's drawer and offered him some. "If you're going on an interview you could use some of this though!" He glared at you before snapping his fingers, and thats when you found out who he is.

The entire League of villains showed up and your eyes widened in fear. The man known as Shigaraki Tomura laughed harshly with a gleam in his eyes, "Recognize me yet, (Y/N) (L/N)?!"

You stared at him again in fear. You then snorted, "Hank the handy man?" And thats when he lunged at you, only for Shigaraki to fall into one of Kurogiri's portals. You laughed with tears in your eyes as the burnt up goth boy snickered. Kurogiri elbowed Dabi and Dabi wiped away a bloody tear in his own eye as he held your arms behind your back.

Dabi chuckled quietly in your ear a small, "You gotta teach me some insults if you live." And you snorted as you consentualy walked into a portal, not even mad at being kidnapped.

You were in what seemed to be a lounge area, seated on a chair with your arms handcuffed to the back of you. You looked around, innocently smiling, "Wowie, nice place you guys got here!" Spinner looked at Dabi confused as you started humming. "So, uh, whatcha need me for?"

Mange spoke up, "Wait, how are you so calm about this?"

You chuckled, "Hey, this chair is comfy, I'm off from work now, and I got to see a cute guy up-close and personal!"

Dabi looked at you with a straight face. "No thank you."

You rose an eyebrow at him, "Dont flatter yourself, Rat, I'm talking about the one that tried to kill me." Shigaraki walked into the room, slightly pissed off as Kurogiri rubbed his back. "There he is! The handsome one!"

Shigaraki glared at you. "Don't patronize me." You were about to speak, but he cut you off before even getting the chance, "You're working with Yuki Ino, the Journalist who's been interviewing pro heros, including Endeavor." You nodded, not understanding if that was supposed to be taken as a question or not. "Tell me everything about what's happened to All Might, why he retired, and how to end Endeavor, including the Pro-heros' plans to take down my organization."

You stared at him for a good minute before sneezing, "Sorry, what did you say? I disasociated."

Shigaraki twitched before scratching his neck violently. "What do you know about the number 1 pro hero?!"

"What?!" You looked at him in utter confusion. "I cant even remember what I had for breakfast, how the fuck do you expect me to remember anything about Enslaver?"

The red eyed male scratched his neck faster. "Endeavor."

You looked in even more confusion, "What the fuck is that?"

Shigaraki pulled you by your shirt closer to him in pure anger, "His hero name! Its Endeavor, not Enslaver!"

You blushed and fluttered your lashes, "Wow, the way your crimson gems glisten even in such dim lighting is so mesmerizing..." You puckered your lips and moved forward, but Shigaraki just let go of your shirt in utter disgust.

"I dont speak Wattpad."

You smiled at him happily, "I mean, I know that I should be scared because you're hella intimidating, but geez louis, your eyes are pretty! If you don't end up killing me can I be your boo thang?" You grinned and thats when he lunged at wwnnaqqa again, only for Kurogiri to put himself in front of you, again, so Shigaraki just fell into his portal, again.

Kurogiri just quietly mumbled out a small, "Lets take a break." Before going to the bar and throwing back a shot of some alcohol.

Later:

Shigaraki crossed his arms in front of the League with you in another room. "She was trying to seduce me like a slut to get out of death! Playing with my emotions?! Like I'm an ,idiot?! How dare she?!"

rtserrr

Dabi sat back, watching as Toga practiced her knife throwing on Twice. The burt man shrugged nonchalauntly, "She seemed legit to me."

Toga and Twice both nodded with a little, "Mhm," as Toga threw a knife at an apple on Twice's head.

Shigaraki just frowned. "Have you people seen me?" They all stopped what they were doing, looked at their boss and then put their hands up to their faces while cringing.

Kurogiri walked in, dragging you in a chair behind him. He placed you right in front of Shigaraki and you smiled awkwardly at him, "Sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable, Mister Shigaraki, I just can't help myself when I see a cute guy like you, though!" You giggled and shrugged as Twice awed at the nonexistent budding romance.

Shigaraki looked at you with disgust and concern. "You seriously think that I'm cute?"

You tilted your head cutely with a small smile"That's why I asked you out, what the hell?" You chuckled softly and Shigaraki blushed with a frown as he stared at you.

He scratched at his neck, took a shot of alcohol and sighed. "Just tell me everything you know about Endavor, okay?"

You frowned deeply with a small groan, "Ugh! He's kinda a asshole! I told him "Good morning, Teletubby Sun" and he just glarred really hard at me!" You frowned and pouted before mumbling out a small, "I mean, it was just a joke..."

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose in utter frustration while Dabi fucking died of laughter in the background, "Anything actually important?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Hey! That's totally important!"

A weak, hourse, "it is!" came from Dabi and you grinned.

"See, he gets it!"

He glared daggers into you and got closer to your face. "Do you not understand the danger you're in?" He snarled. "I can kill you right now if you dont submit."

You poked your lips out jokingly before giggling out, "I get it, but who's to say I don't wanna die?" You winked at him.

Shigaraki stared at you calmly, not leaving your goofy grin. "Everyone out of the room. Now." And everyone did as they were told and left, all praying for you.

Shigaraki silently cut your restraints and you started rubbing your wrists while smiling, "Thank you! You know, that was starting to hurt-"

He grabbed you by your hair and flung you onto the floor. The wind was knocked out of you and to make matters worse, he placed a foot on your chest, glarring down at you. "This isn't a game, you stupid fucking cunt." Shigaraki laughed darkly, seeing your jokester smile twist into a horrified grit as you struggled to breath. "I mean, are you dumb or something?! Your worthless life is on the line and you really couldn't care less?! "His hands covered his mouth, holding back another laugh, though you could hear it in his voice, "You're so fucking pathetic, I don't even feel like wasting my time killing you~!" He pushed his foot down harder.

You gasped for air, clawing at his foot to pry it off. "S-Shigaraki, sir-" A crack was echoed as he pushed his foot down harder on your now broken sternum. You scream out as tears fell from your face from the pain, "Please, p-please remove your f-foot..."

Shigaraki only laughed harder, cupping a hand over his cheek, ring finger raised, "Oh all of a sudden you care about your life, huh?" He straddled you, pinning you down with your wrists in one hand, and your neck in his other. "You think you can just flirt with me like the little slut you are and get off Scott free, huh?" You choked and Shigaraki drew closer to your ear, "Where's that attitude gone now, huh? Oh, can you not speak anymore? Tell me, please, how many dicks have you taken already. How the hell did you get a job," his face scrunched up in fury, "at a god damn Hero News agency without knowing shit about any heros, huh?! You probably slept with everyone there. Didnt you? Flirting with them to get what you want just like with me?"

Your face was hot and you were crying and choking at his words and actions, "N-No! That's not-" you gasped hard, unable to breath properly, "not me at all!"

Shigaraki loosened his grip on your neck. He glarred deep into your soul. "Then why the hell were you flirting with me back there? I'm not dumb, (Y/N), I'm a very fucking capable man!"

You smiled awkwardly, thankful that you could breath a little better. "I just think you're HANDsome!" Shigaraki's cheeks tinted pink as he glared at you. He let his grip go completely as you choked and coughed before looking up with a smile, "And this position... w-with you on top of me is really lewd, so can you maybe..." You trailed off as he just stared harder at you.

Shigaraki blinked, expressionless. "I'm pinning you down on the verge of killing you and the only think you can think of is getting fucked by me?" You looked away, struggling a bit with the feeling of awkwardness and arousal. He smirked, feeling your neck get hotter. "You really are a little fucking whore aren't you?" And with that, he softly kissed your lips.

Your face went hot as you looked up at him. "What was that for?" He kissed you again, this time longer. "S-shigaraki..." You pouted and looked away. "Theres something I should tell you..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head with a smirk, waiting for you to tell him that you're still a virgin.

"You shouldve taken my lotion earlier." You laughed out and he started choking you again. "Joking- J- Joking!" Shigaraki glarred down at you before tongue kissing you much more rough. You moaned as it thrashed against your tongue, saliva dripping out the side of your mouth. Shigaraki bit your lip softly before dragging his tongue down your chin and onto your neck. He licked and sucked on it as you bit your bottom lip. Tomura came back up and tongue kissed you for only a second before grabbing your shirt with all five fingers. You gasped and covered up your bra. "H-Hey! Gentlemen ask for permission first!" You frowned and he just grabbed you by your jaw.

He mocked you with a fake pouty voice, "Oh, that's my bad for not being a fucking gentleman. Can I pwease fuck you??" Tomura rolled his eyes, "Now shut the fuck up and let me suck on your nipples." Shigaraki's mouth immediately locked with your left nipple as his fingers played with your right. He laughed, hearing you softly mumble his name. His mouth left your chest with a small pop and he looked down at you with a smirk, "Dont be shy saying my name, (Y/N); I'm gonna need you to get used to screaming it anyways." And with that, he licked his lips then placed his tongue on your torso, dragging it all the way down to your work pants.

He decenigrated your pants and underwear happily. Shigaraki brought his face to your slit and took a hard lick, a finger shoving itself inside of your tight hole. You moaned loudly, confused. "Tomura, a warning next time!?" He just pumped his finger inside of you slowly as his tongue played with your privates. You moaned while holding his head down on you, your fingers twisted in his hair, as he sucked you off like a cherry. You panted heavily and he stuck another finger in you. Shigaraki then lifted his head off you.

"I'd warn you that time, but you're kind of suffocating me, so maybe, don't fucking push down so hard!" You frowned and just pushed his head back in between your thighs. He kissed and licked more, groaning whenever you'd thrust into his mouth deeper. Shigaraki chuckled at how you'd only get quiet when hes making you moan.

You shivered and groaned, coming closer and closer to your climax. Shigaraki noticed and immediately pulled off of you. He wipped his mouth with the back of his hand and grabbed you by the hair. "Alright, slut, you've had your fun." He pulled you towards him and you fell on the floor, right in front of his groin. Tomura sat, grinned down at you with one leg up, "You gonna just stare or are you sucking me off?"

You rolled your eyes before pulling his pants and boxers down. Oh wow, you were not expecting this... You put a hand over your mouth and blushed hard. He was only semi hard and already a good 8 inches, what the hell?? It was thin, but long, kind of like the rest of him.

Shigaraki frowned down at you, blushing hard, "What? Is something wrong with it?? I-I've never done this before, asshole, so stop making me feel bad!"

You felt a smile rise onto your lips. Is he... getting flustered? You chuckled and looked up at him, pumping slowly, "It's just intimidating." You licked the tip and gulped, feeling a bit nervous, "But, I'll try to take it all in, okay?"

You placed your lips on his tip and suck it as your hands jerked him off. He groaned, grabbing your head with 4 fingers. You gradually took more and more into your mouth, using your hands for whatever didn't fit. You bobbed your head up and down on him, speeding up. Shigaraki groaned your name.

"F-Fuck, Y/N, you really know what you're doing!" He pressed his hand on the back of your head harder, forcing more of him into you. You gagged and choked as Tomura just laughed, "God, you're taking it all in like a good little sex slave, aren't you?" You moaned at the name and shigaraki shuttered, "Mm, your moans feel so fucking good on my cock!" He breathed harder, "Fuck, Y/N, I need you to touch yourself while sucking me." You brought your hand to your slit and rubbed at it, moaning. Shigaraki groaned, "Fuck, Just like that!"

You gagged and moaned on his dick, feeling it twitch in your mouth. A lewd little 'pop' echoed in the room as you let off. Shigaraki frowned and you gave him a cheeky grin, "No sticky icky for you!" He groaned in annoyance.

"God, why are you like this?!?" He grabbed your arm and threw you roughly on the bed. Before you knew it, Shigaraki was already inside of you. Your face went hot as he fucked you doggy style.

You screamed, "A warning!!! We've been over this!!!" He responded with a slap on your ass.

Tomura rode your ass, grinding into you and groaning while doing it. "Fuck off, Y/N, you're a horny mess just like me, dumbass!" You screamed his name as his thrusts became faster and deeper. Shigaraki pulled both of your wrists back and down, making you kneel, your back pressed against his chest as he fucked into you. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight..." Shigaraki sloppily kissed your neck. You breathed harder as his dick hit the spot over and over. Shigaraki flipped you over onto your back. You laid underneath him as he paused. Tomura blushed harder and looked away, "I-I wanna really savor this..." he smirked, glaring in your eyes, "Plus I wanna know what you look like, full of my cum!"

You were flustered and giggling, "Its the ✨mood switch✨ for me-"

Tomura placed a hand over your mouth, "No. You just lost your speaking privileges."

Shigaraki grinded into you slowly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and drool seeped from your lips. Shigaraki held your waist, pulling you whenever he's press himself deep inside of you. You were speechless from the pleasure. You moaned and whined as his body slowly moved with yours.

You pressed the back of your hand to your face, feeling a bit embarrassed at the change of atmosphere. It was so easy to just enjoy him fucking you silly and laughing and everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel any other emotion rather than pleasure muxed in with something new.

Shigaraki placed his forehead against yours and breathed harder, "I-I'm getting there, Y/N..." He let out a breathy moan and your legs shaked. Tomura kissed you softly as well. "A-Ah, you're almost there t-too, right?"

You nodded, feeling a knot in your stomach. You moaned and Shigaraki pulled out, cumming all over you. You moaned, climaxing too.

You were covered in cum and panting. You couldn't even find words to say. It just felt so good. Shigaraki cuddled up to you. He smiled and kissed your cheek. "I'm giving you your speaking privileges back now." You stayed silent, your face hot. It was hard for you to be serious, but God damn. Tomura looked at you a bit concerned, "You okay-"

"That was amazing."

He looked surprised before laughing hard. "Did I really leave you speechless?" You nodded, silently. Shigaraki kissed your lips, "That sucks because, even though you're annoying, I kinda like you."

Your eyes widened. He liked your jokes and stupid comments?! Your mouth became ajar. "I-I..." You just closed your mouth, staring at him.

Shigaraki placed his arm over you. He smiled, "Lets hang out tomorrow."

You smiled back.

[saltwaterscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[bokutoblivious]

~Tsukishima Kei~

nsfw headcannon alphabet

A is for Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Tsukishima may be an ass, but he will take care of you.

He will probably check to see if you are hurting, and get you some cold water and cold/hot towels if needed

He might also get you something to eat (probably a bowl of cereal) if you're lucky

also, he WILL ABSOLUTELY cuddle you, of course making you be the big spoon so he can make fun of your shortness.

B is for Body Part (what's their favorite body part of their s/o, and vice versa)

Tsukishima has 2, your ears and thighs.

You like his long fingers.

The finger thing is pretty self explanatory.

He likes your ears, because of the way they turn red when you blush, and he also likes to nibble on them to tease the hell out of you.

And, it's obvious why he likes thighs. 1 is kissing them, and number 2 is down below

C is for cum (where do they like to cum? also, whats the consistency?)

HE LOVES CUMMING ON THEM THIGHS, GIRL!

He finds it easier to cum on them without aiming specifically, and also he likes to lick it off for some reason.

Also, it's pretty thin but THERE IS SO MUCH OF IT OH MY GOD

D is for Dirty Secret (uh, a sexual experience or encounter that was weird as shit)

Yamaguchi walked in on him

while he was masterbating

Yams forgot about it but Tsukki never will

E is for Experience (how experienced are they at doing the do?)

Not that experienced, but he learns easily.

Back when you first did it, the only thing he was good at was rough, unsynchronized thrusts. He thought, "if it feels good for me, it must feel good to them"

Sooner or later thought, he got better at it.

F is for Favorite Position (what's their favorite position to thrust and bust?)

Tabletop. Since he is (most likely) taller than you, this puts you at a height where you can do missionary without the struggle.

He also loves it when you wrap your legs around him, so this position is great!

P.S, you dont have to do this on a table. Just a surface that puts you at missionary level. Its basically the same but he doesn't climb on you.

G is for Goofy (are they goofy or serious during the act?)

Serious af. The only time he laughs is when he teases you, or when you make a weird noise trying to hold back a moan.

H is for hair (Does the carpet match the drapes? Also, is it well groomed?)

It is the same color, but a little bit darker.

Also, he usually shaves it all off. He doesn't like hair down there. Its a weird pet peeve of his.

I is for Intamacy (are they romantic during s6?)

Im not sure if you can call it "romantic" during it.

Sometimes hes a real sweetie, but mostly he's just either...

An asshole or

A tease.

J is for Jerk Off (do they masturbate?)

Only if he's stressed. He thinks its awkward to just be like, "damn my dick is hard, TIME TO MAKE A PUSSY-"

When he does it, he puts on music to make sure nobody hears the faps.

K is for Kinks (a kinklord or a vanilla bean?)

Praise kink

Also, he likes to pull hair/get his hair pulled

It shows that you are enjoying whats happening, and it makes him put in more effort.

L is for Location (favorite place to do the do?)

Bedroom. Somewhere alone.

If he ABSOLUTELY had to do it in public, he would pick a car.

Its the right place where nobody will hear the noises, but they will know something is going on in that car.

M is for Motivation (what gets them all hot and bothered?)

Praise

Literally nothing more

Just praise.

O is for Oral (do they like giving or receiving?)

To be honest, he really doesnt have a strong opinion on either.

Hes fine on getting head or giving head, but he really just likes good ol' cock in pussy action the best.

P is for Pace (are they a fucking speed demon or a slow and steady type?)

I don't know if this makes sense, but he's really fast, but sensual.

He like, goes fucking speed run in you but he makes sure it's not painful, but enjoyable.

BUT IF YOU WANT HIM TO GO ROUGH, BE CAREFUL.

He will literally make you pass out if you want.

Q is for Quickie (opinions on those?)

ew no

who do you think Tsukishima Kei is?

oK he will give you a quickie with his fingers.

R is for Risk (do they like to experiment or not?)

Yes.

If he hears (or sees) anything that seems like it would work with you two, he will probably ask

But he won't try to convince you if you say no.

S is for Stamina (how long can they go for?)

About 2 rounds, because my bb gets tired easily

He will still tease the shit out of you after, though.

T is for Toys (do they own any? are they for them or their s/o?)

Im just gonna say it.

He owns a whip.

Nothing else but a kinky ass black leather whip.

U is for Unfair (are they a tease or a sneeze?)

Not as much of a tease as Kuroo, but HE IS SO A TEASE

He teases you about anything and everything, your height expecially.

V is for Volume (what sounds do they make? are they loud or soft?)

Tsukishima is a natural moaner, and hes ashamed of it.

He tries to hold it back, but it usually just comes out like a long, soft groan/grr thing.

One time he moaned REaLLY LOUD and it scared you and you had to stop because you laughed so hard.

W is for Wild Card (random nsfw headcannon)

He tried to whip you during foreplay, and ended up whipping his leg sO HArD and he couldn't play volleyball for about 3 days.

Serves him right for trying to pop our ass open like a balloon.

X is for X-Ray (are they packing or lacking?)

Its literally just like him

Long and skinny

Its like, 6 1/2 inches but

THAT SHIT IS SKINNY

the length is all there, but his dick is about as thick and a boiled hotdog.

No, but just saying. The girth isnt there.

Y is for Yearning (how big is their sex drive)

He doesnt have a high one.

His mind is too focused on other things to think about pounding you into the bed

bUT when the sex drive hits him, he's such a fucking horndog istg

Z is for Zzz (how fast do they fall asleep after sex?)

He stays awake for about an hour.

Not because he's trying or he's taking care of you

He was full of adrenaline and he's trying to calm down.

But if you get him to lay down, and snuggle him like a teddy bear, he will fall asleep in like, 30 minutes.

why was this fun to write-

why am i suddenly addicted to writing smut-

[haikyuuscreaming]

FUCK THSI POST AND HAPPY BRITHDAY HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO

im so soft for all of the seijou third years and makki is not an exception. we may have been heavily deprived of makki content but i still love him and yes even though i have 3 wips i am dropping all my shit to write for hanamaki

enjoy this really fast-written but lovingly-written fic :) I LOVE U MAKKI

-

As soon as Hanamaki wakes up, there’s something obviously off.

He isn’t stupid. He’s always wondered why those people in dollar-cheap romance novels never seem to know what’s up when it’s their birthday. Like, gee, what’s going on? Why is my S/O so sketchy today, on my birthday? Why are all of my friends busy? He’s always wondering maybe they just  have garbage self-esteem.

Fortunately for him, you’re a terrible actor.

“Morning, Makki~” Your voice is oddly awake despite Hanamaki having just woken up.

“Morning.” Hanamaki stretches lazily and his arm rests around your head. You’re wearing one of his old jerseys and he thinks it’s fitting for the occasion. “Guess whose special day it is.”

“U-Um, I don’t know.” You sound a little bit nervous although your smile’s still radiant on your face.

(He thinks it’s adorable how excited you are for his birthday.)

“B-But, you should get ready for today!! I do too, actually, so, um, I’m gonna get changed and head out..” Your excitement breaks through your ‘calm’ voice and you practically jump out of bed, kissing his forehead before dashing out. “Sorry, babe!”

“Sorry for what?”

“Um, nothing!”

“Just my luck,” Hanamaki mutters to himself. “It’s raining?”

He walks out of his favorite bakery with a box of cream puffs-- the last box of the bakery, in fact-- and suddenly it’s drizzling rain, an earthy scent flooding the world around him.

He’s a little bit frustrated-- god damn, could they at least warn him? At least so he could bring an umbrella.-- but he pays no mind. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa have all been “busy” with plans (although Matsukawa spammed him with a shit-ton of memes and a ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU ASS <3 FULL HOMO), and you’re obviously doing something either for him or something illegal, so he knows to expect something.

Although he can’t help but shake the paranoid worm in his gut that… maybe everyone is busy? Maybe they really couldn’t spare time for his birthday…

He brushes it off, and walks back home in the rain as he shields his cream puff box.

The rain really does make walking-traffic bad.

Hanamaki was expecting to stroll home in a solid 10 minutes, but he’s stuck in an angry mob of people who are half-drenched like him. He thanks whoever’s up there for giving him a strong immune system, otherwise he’s sure that he’d be sniveling and sneezing on his special day.

He’s trying to guess how much time it’ll take to get home now- five more minutes? Seven? Ten more?- before his phone vibrates so hard in his back-pocket he would’ve thought someone shoved a vibrator back there. There’s most likely no mafia or yakuza here, so Hanamaki takes advantage of the slow-moving crowd and takes out his phone.

There it is: the barrage of texts from you. He knew you would break down eventually, asking if he’d come home soon, but he wasn’t expecting pages and pages of texts.

the fiona to my shrek:

    hiro     hiro     are u ignoring me     bc that isnt nice     HIROOOO     HIROOOOOO     helloooooo     where tf are u     likeeee not tryna be sus or anything but     i need u home     preferably in like     ten minutes     no im not horny     unless u want me to be 😏🤪🤪     pleaseee     u asshat whyd u turn off ur location     please answer?     are you mad at me :(     is it abt this morning?     i didnt mean to brush u off     i swear i didnt forget abt ur birthday     and im like not planning anything or something ok     please come home?     ily <3     hiro     Makki.     hanamaki     hanamaki takahiro     loser baby     the shadow to my sonic     please respond and come home? :(     youre my shrek 5 trailer     OKAY BITCH FINE     im sorry ur not a bitch love u mwah     i mean maybe you are a bitch? but i still love u mwah mwah mwah     are u even reading this     i stg ill be so embarrassed if ur just busy or sum     COME HOMEEEE     ok bye :)

He really does think it’s adorable how much you care about this.

Rolling his eyes, he taps out a quick response:

“yea omw home” “oh, a surprise you say? ill be home soon”

He slips it into his pocket even though he feels the vibrations of the twenty or so texts that you rapid-fire send to him, most likely defending the fact that you’re definitely, absolutely not planning any shit for his ass, but he smiles to himself anyway.

He doesn’t even mind the fact he’s getting soaked in the rain. He’s excited to see what you’ve been planning.

“Home,” Hanamaki yells out. “Where are you, you big stinker?”

There isn’t an answer, which Hanamaki supposes is a little bit cliché but he doesn’t mind that much. His shared apartment with you is dark and he has to flicker on some lights through the house before he hears the faint illusion of hurried whispers. He barely makes out a voice to be yours.

“Oh! He’s here!”

“No shit he’s here. Who else comes in and yells he’s home?”

“I dunno Mattsun~ Maybe [Name]-chan has someone on the side?”

“Shut the fuck up, all of you.”

“Thank you, Hajime!”

“Shut up oh my god I think he’s listening to us.”

“Shhh!”

Hanamaki hears a dull clatter from the other room and he hides behind the wall, content with listening for a little bit longer.

“Oikawa you fucking dolt! You knocked over the forks!”

“Sorry, [Name]-chan!”

“Just pick it up already.”

“I don’t mean to burst your bubbles but I’m pretty sure he’s literally just vibing in the other room, listening to us.”

Hanamaki decides to make you all happy and takes a step. He’s kind of delighted in the way you all immediately shut up, save for your hissed quiet!, and he takes another step. Eventually he can’t take it and casually walks into the room.

It’s dark and he can’t really adjust to everything, and he’s about to say something slightly funny before the entire room illuminates and he sees his former third-year team and girlfriend yell, “Happy birthday Makki!!!!”

Makki knows that he was expecting some sort of surprise. Ever since that morning he woke up and saw you and your oddly adorable, alert face, he knew that something like this was going to happen. But still, it took just a few more seconds to register.

There was a cutely handmade banner that read Happy Birthday Makki in big, teal letters, and there were balloons strewn around the room that he knew would eventually be victims of balloon volleyball. On the table that you were all surrounding was a good, small pile of gifts and a tower of cream puffs. Not a cake, but a giant fucking tower of cream puffs.

Oh, so that’s where all the bakery’s cream puffs went.

“Oh god. You stupid idiots.” Hanamaki realizes his voice has gotten a little hoarse with sentiment, and he clears his voice and naturally, his lazy smile comes back. “I’m honored that you buffoons really planned this out for me. Clown party!”

“Be grateful, you big dummy!” You practically throw yourself onto him, and he finds himself latching onto you too. “I love you so much, Makki, happy birthday!!”

Hanamaki smiles and as if on cue, you lift up your head and smile back. He feels his heart beat a little bit faster and he remembers why he’s been loving his birthdays ever since he met you.

“Guess I love you too.”

[launchsteinward]

This is for the MB challenge by @somebodyalreadytookthis2

Tuesday:

By Moonlight

Once upon a time...

There was a Hero. There he stood, infront of his greatest challenge yet. Bravery and determination burning in his eyes.

His companion stood by him, a flicker of mischief in his smirk.

"Let's go"

Ignoring the dark flowers in full bloom, the duo snuck upto the castle under the cover of darkness: guided by moonlight.

Quietly but surely, the duo snuck into the castle through the back door which had conveniently been left open.

-And so, their journey to save the prince and kill the Demon king began.

___________________________________________

He slowly opened his eyes, a headache pounding against his skull. "W-where am I?"

The prince growled in annoyance as he racked his throbbing (nonexistent) brain for awnsers. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of what appeared to be a rather well kept cobble stone dungeon, he decided that it was time to leave.

With a small grunt, he pulled at the chains chaining him to the wall: the chains instantly snapping with a loud 'SNAP!'

___________________________________________

"AHHH- F#CK F#CK F#CK F#CK F#-"

"You sure you dont need help, Cross?"

Blue asked, eyebrow cocked and leaning against the castle wall. Cross ran, dodging attacks for the 13th time. Yes. He had actually died to this demon grunt 12 times and this was his 13th time fighting it.

"NO IM FIN- SH#T-"

'As amusing as this is, This has gone on long enough' mentally sighing for the XX time, he summoned his makeshift sword and ran forward. In one swift motion he stabbed the demon in its eye and cut a huge gash in its face. Soon enough, the demon dissolved into a pile of dust.

*you gained XXX exp.

*The rest of your party gained exp due to XP

share.

*you gained 37 gold

"...How-"

"That was a Swiggityswooty, Idiot. Their weak points are their eyes."

Blue stated

"..I knew that"

Cross grumbled before stalking off as though he was sulking.

"Alright" Blue smirked, amusement lacing his voice causing Cross to pout even more.

It was almost cute in a way.

___________________________________________

The Guards looked at each other. So the loud snap wasnt just their imagination. Nodding to each other: a silent message being exchanged, the pair if Demons held their spears and approached the cell carefully.

According to their lord this was one of their most dangerous prisoners yet, and they had to be very careful when approaching them. One motioned towards the steel door and the other turned the key, slowly and silently.

"STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR"

They burst into the cell, spears pointed outwards as they stood back to back. They looked around the cell, only to find it empty.

The two demons eyes widened. One stood up from his crouched position and approached the broken chains while the other pulled out his walkie talkie.

A pair of golden eyes glistened in the corner above the door.

Before the guard could even turn on the device, he was knocked out, head smashing against the stone cold floor.

The other guard turned around as fast as he could at the sound of the thump. He saw a dark figure look at him. Gold eyes where the last thing he saw.

___________________________________________

Dream rubbed his hands on his pants, smearing a purple substance all over it. Did he care? No.

He was very slightly irritated that one of the guards had ripped the sleeve off his shit, making one of his arms completely visible. His blood lust gauge was a quarter way full and he hadn't lost any of his stamina. He was ready to kick some demon ass.

Quickly, he reached into a small secret pocket on the inside of his boots. From it- he pulled out a small black tube. After unscrewing it, he looked at his reflection in the (now unconscious) guard's armour. Carefully with a steady hand, he drew across his eye perfecting his eyeliner.

Now- He was ready to kick some demon ass.

___________________________________________

"WTF is that!"

Cross screeched clinging onto Blue and pointing at the demon they had just come aCross. Said demon was black with white spots- or was it the other way around? No matter. It had two golden horns and eminated a terrifying low howl: MOOOOOO-

Cross screamed once again, pulling himself closer to Blue. Blue tried to hold back his laughter as he looked upon the so called beast that struck such fear in the great hero.

A cow demon. One of the weakest types of demons there is. Even Blue knew that someone as 'bright' as Cross could take on this demon with ease.

Blue held Cross in a comforting manner as he contemplated killing the demon himself- or letting Cross kill the demon himself and get over this seemingly ridiculous fear of his.

As Blue was hung up between these choices, Cross pulled himself closer to Blue, fear prowling his mind and looking for some sort of protection from this foul monstrosity of a demon.

Neither seemed to notice the demon dissolving into a poof of smoke and a purple clad skeleton approaching them curiously.

"Umm.. hi?"

Both Blue and Cross jumped at the appearance of the new skeleton.

Cross quickly scampering out of Blue's hold: cheekbones red in embarrassment.

After collecting himself, Cross eyed the newcomer: taking in his royal purple clothes and golden crown. His eyes widened and he froze as he realized the stranger matched the princes description perfectly.

Cross was brought back to reality by Blue's voice.

"- yeah, strange you wouldn't know where you are. The Demon King's castle isn't really a forgettable place. I'm Blue by the way. The monochrome guy is Cross."

Blue shrugged pointing his thumb back at Cross.

"I- I'm Nightmare. It's a pleasure to meet you, Blue and Cross" The skeleton: now dubbed as Nightmare said giving a bow.

"What's with the formality? Theres no need for it here. We're all friends right?" Blue said giving Nightmare a pat on the shoulder.

'YOU CANT DO THAT TO A PRINCE BLUE!' Cross mentally gasped in horror, the tables turning for a brief moment in time.

"O-oh. I see.I-if you don't mind me asking, w-what are you two doing here?" Nightmare asked, tilting his head in a questionable manner.

"Actually we're here on a mission. You see, I'm a hero and we were sent to kill the demon king and rescue the kidnapped prince" Cross decided to speak up.

"A-actually I'm a prince." Nightmare whispered hesitantly.

"SWEET! That's one thing down. Guess we're going to have to find the Demon King next" Cross said excitedly taking off ina random direction.

'So we're not going to question how he got free in the first place?... seems legit' Blue thought.

Nightmare looked in the direction Cross went before looking at Blue quizzically. "...is he allways like this?"

"I'm afraid so. Just roll with it."

___________________________________________

Dream walked through yet another hall. He had no idea where he was and when he tried to threaten ask any demon he came across after beating them up, they would faint before they could even spit out a word. It was frustrating to say the least.

'Why isnt there an exit sign?' Dream mentally grumbled stopping as he heard something. Quietly but swiftly he made his way forward: making sure to stay unseen in the shadows. The sound of humming seemed to get louder as he saw a figure, cruising their way down the hall in the direction he was going. Not thinking much of it, Dream ran forward and pinned the figure below him, his elbow to the others throat.

It was only then that the prince got a good look at the person under him. Surprisingly, it wasnt a demon, but a skeleton monster. Clad in maroon clothes: an assortment of charms hanging off his neck as well as a pointy hat, Dream could only assume that he was a spell caster. That or a witch.

The stranger sneezed: sort like a kitten, eyelights changing shape and colour as he did so. 'Strange.' Dream thought to himself before noticing a rainbow hue on the strangers cheekbones.

"U-uh, hi? You gonna get off me or...? not that I mind" The stranger said, mumbling the last part so that Dream couldn't hear.

"Oh- yeah, sorry about that. Thought you were another demon scum." Dream said getting off and helping the stranger up.

"Its fine- I'm Ink if you wanted to know or- if not. You're Dream right?" Ink said eyes changing shape once again.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Dream said immediately on guard again.

"Oh, c'mon. Your a prince. Of course I know who you are. That and they won't stop yelling about it" Ink once gain mumbled he last part.

"What was that?" Dream asked, guard dropping a bit at the logical reasoning Ink had presented him.

"Nothing" Ink quickly shook his head before mumbling again, quieter than last time: "shut up guys, your getting really noisy"

Dream shrugged before realizing the whole purpose of this encounter. "By any chance, do you know where we are exactly?"

"In the west wing of the Demon Kings Castle, last I checked." Ink shrugged pulling out an odd looking staff from his inventory.

"I see. Where's the exit?" Dream questioned earning another shrug from the smaller. "In the north wing I suppose"

"And which way is the north wing?" Dream sounded exasperated. "That way." Ink said pointing his staff towards the hall Dream just came from. Dream groaned in annoyance before picking Ink up and putting him on his shoulder like a potato sack. The smaller was lighter than Dream expected, making it easier to hold him down with one hand as the other struggled to get free.

"Stop struggling. Your showing me the way out of this place. Then your free to do whatever you want." Dreams sturn voice cause Ink to freeze.

Dream was shocked as he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. Looking to where Ink had just been he realized the other had vanished.

"Looking for someone?"

Dream instinctively turned around and punched whatever had just snuck up on him. He opened his eyes when he felt the hard yet smooth surface of polished wood against his knuckles. He immediately made eye contact with a pair of somewhat familiar mismatched eyes.

"Hi again."

Dream pulled back and sighed in annoyance. "Warn me next time you do that. I may actually end up taking off your head."

Ink giggled slightly before shrugging. "Whatev. Just, dont carry me again. I guess I'll tag along for now as this could be fun but don't be expecting too much from me"

___________________________________________

"Hey! I think I almost finished the puzzle!" Cross yelled triumphantly as he moved the last stone onto a platform.

Blue chuckled while Nightmare giggled at Cross's enthusiasm. It wasnt even a hard puzzle but they let Cross do it due to the shimmer in his eyes. So here they where, half an hour later with Cross finishing the puzzle.

As the door to the next room appeared, the trio made their way over to it. When Nightmare accidentally stepped on a hidden pressure plate activating a pitfall trap, causing Cross and his companions to fall down into the floor below them.

___________________________________________

"So your a wandering trader?" Dream asked curiosly as he beat another demon into a pulp.

"Yup! Mainly magic weapons and potions" Ink said, leaning against the wall and playing a flute.

"Huh, Cool. If you dont mind me asking, why did you become a wandering trader rather than just, you know- a regular trader?" Dream through the passed out demon to the floor: his bloodlust gauge reaching half.

Ink stopped playing the flute, his expression serious. "Let's just say I made a vow. A vow never to get attached to anything."

There was an ominous shadow hanging on Inks face, preventing Dream from seeing the smallers expression.

Ink felt a haunting warmth surround him.

*Dream used hug on Ink!

He couldn't stop the tears pricking at his eyelights. It had been so many years since he had felt warmth familiar to this.

Dream rubbed the smallers back in a comforting manner as Ink seemingly broke down.

"I-I tried so- so hard to s-stop it" Ink hiccups, burying his face in Dream's blood stained chest.

"B-b-but it s-still hap-pened an-nyways. Now t-their a-a-all go-ne a-and itss a-lll my fa-fault! I-if only I-I wa-warned t-them- they cou-uld have e-escaped." Ink chocked, his voice cracking as Dream pulled him closer.

"Shhhhhhh" Dream whispered as he started to gently sway them: in Hope's of calming the other down. He always did this whenever Nightmare had a breakdown.

Soon enough, the smaller had stopped sobbing: letting out little hiccups here and there."Ink..." Dream started, feeling the other stiffen against him.

"I dont know what happened to you in your past but I can tell you this. Dont let your past weigh you down. You may have lost some very important people to you in the past- but that doesn't mean you should make new ones. I'm sure that whoever you've lost would want you to be happy and make new relationships rather than avoid people and travel constantly." Dream said, an usual softness: only used on Nighty, in his voice.

After holding Ink for a few more minutes, Dream spotted another demon start to approach them from the corner of his eye. Carefully nudging the smaller off him, he motioned to the demon before heading off to kill it: not seeing the light blush and small smile playing on Inks lips.

___________________________________________

"- and then I told them 'that's not an emo, that's my brother!'" Dream exclaimed earning a giggle from Ink. "You can imagine their faces when they found out that was their prince" Dream ended with a chuckle.

Ink in the other hand looked like he was having an extreme giggle attack. He was clenching his stomach while giggling and letting out strangely adorable snorts in the process.

Dream couldn't help the slight heat burning on his face as Ink continued to giggle and snort.

"Wh-" was all Dream managed to get out of his mouth before the floor below him gave away and they both fell into a pit below them.

___________________________________________

Extra:

Dream groaned. 'Where am I now?'

His eyes once again had to get used to the familiar darkness of the dungeons. Exept: that wasn't where he was. He seemed to be in some sort of underground chamber with little to no lighting. He could just make out thousands of wide pillars holding the chamber up.

He groaned in annoyance. Now he needed to find a way out of here. If only he had a guid- Ink! Dream looked around frantically: looking for the trader's staff or even hat. After finding nothing in the darkness, he sighed. He could only hope that Ink was alright.

Thats when he heard it: a set of voices. One extremely familiar. Using his heightened sense of hearing, he headed in that direction. Creeping behind a pillar: he could barely make out a party of 3 silhouettes. One similar to his own.

"Nighty?"

___________________________________________

Before

First

Next

[milkhwi]

enemies to lovers! jisung

summary: fights about everything between both of you; homework, disaster, and dancing but what happens when the dance team celebrates with a masquerade party and it leads both of you to fall in love with eachother accidentally?

genre: fLuFf, a fancy party, highschool, pOpularity(?)

a/n: y’all,, this series was great i cry

m.list

~

aHem

jisung is known for two (2) things

A) knowing to hang out with upperclassmen which include the dreamies who are fu ck bois

or B) a gREAT dancer and TALENT eVERYWHERE

anyways you and jisung hate eachother jUst because y’all wanted that top spot in the dancing team,, guess who came in first? jisung

obviously because whO doesn’t swoon for the cutest guy at dance class??

plus popularity does come in handy sIke we all know that boy is multitalented and doesn’t need popularity

so both of you fight aboUt anything and when i say anything I MEAN EVERYTHING

who dances to kpop FasT? who fools the teacher the fastest? who makes the loudest sneeze?? i could gO ON

and the dreamies are just like ???? what is going on???

mark: both of you are seriously crazy

haechan: nah they’re insane

renjun: someone help them???

jaemin: theylikeeachothertheydo

chenle: betbetbetbet

jeno: i’ll give it 3 weeks

3 wEeks later and y’all still up each others throats

jeno, chenle, jaemin: we were wrong

renjun, mark, hyuck: well no shit they look like they’re about to MURDER EACHOTHER

but everyone thinks y’all are dating but at the same time not??? so it goes like this: either you’re dating him or you’re supposedly jealous of him

aND since you’re not,,, well, everyone steals him from you

thats also one thing he is good at; making peoples hearts flutter AMIRITE HE STOLE MINE WITH HIS CUTE ASS SMILE-

maybe not yours yet bUT he bets you that you can’t make a single person fall for you IN A DAY and then you bet him that he can’t actually spend a day caring about someone without flirting and playing them

sO bOTH OF YOU TRY YOUR BEST

and iN THAT WEEK your dance team was hosting a masquerade party bITCH IM A SUCKER FOR THOSE EVEN THO IVE NEVER GONE TO ONE THEY SOUND SO FANCY since iTS THAT TIME FOR PARTY TIMEEEE

so then you’re like,, THATS MY CHANCE

and you tell your friends

and jisung tells the dreamies

and you wear the perfect outfit that matches your deep scarlet mask with black feathers and gold jewels and iT mAKes yOU LOOK sO good

anyways your friends were sHOOK

and everyone at the party wAS shOOK too

even though no one could tell who you are since the lights were dim and dark

the dreamies saw you and were like wHo is that??? and jisung thought you were the PERFECT target

so jisung swoops in and stands right next to you and whispers “would you like to dance with me?”

and yOu arE blushing because 1) he looks like a cute dude and 2) you’re about to win the bet

and you nod with the biggEST smile on your face and he just dances so smooth??? like he literally just knows what he’s doing??

aNd hE is surprised?? because this stranger he just met dances so well????

and after the song ends both of you go outside and talk

“a pretty great dance huh?” he said

you: “hmm indeed it was,, are you in the dance team?”

“how about we reveal ourselves at the end of the night if you think we can be friends?” or more than that? is what jisung thought since he needed to WIN the bet

you agreed and thought this was gonna be really easy and you felt yourself falling for this dude you just met???

and he does too???

like even though you can’t see him he has a cute smile and such a down to earth person???

and he thinks he’s going crazy or it’s just the lights since he sees your eyes sparkle and he finds you cute

and the night goes pretty quickly for both of you since you both spend it together just getting to know each other

and it’s about to be midnight and jisung thinks its the perfect time to reveal each other

and you think you just fell in love with someone you don’t know who it is

“okay,, so should we reveal ourselves??” you said nErvOuslY

and he just nods

y’all count 3

2

1

“JISUNG??!!!” “Y/N?!?!?”

“WHAT THE HELL JISUNG? HOW DID I NOT KNOW IT WAS YOU??”

“i mean i’m good at disguising bUT HOW THE HELL DID I NOT KNOW IT WAS YOU??” - jisung

“can we uhhh forget about this??pLEASE?” - you

“I HAVE A BET TO WIN??” - jisung

you: “WE BOTH LOST??”

“that doesn’t change the fact that i like you,,”

“i can’t believe i’m saying this but i like you too, idiot”

“ITS YOUR FAULT FOR FALLING FOR ME FIRST?”

anyways both of you agree into terms to date each other secretly

the dreamies didnt know for 2 weeks

until jisung left for a date

and they were following him for fun

and tHey saw you and got sHOOK

“oHMYGOD THEY ARE DATING!!” - jeno, chenle, jaemin

“can y’all shut up we’re gonna get caught” - mark, renjun, haechan

anYwhOs now that the dreamies found oUt tEASING JISUNG 24/7

and you find it cute when he gets shy

dAnCE COUPLE!!!

jisung is more confident when it comes to dances so its easy for him to be a smooth bf

and you’re like “wOw evEryONe LOOK AT MY MAN1!1!1!”

everyone is jEaLoUs since both of you aRe cUTE

jisung lets you borrow his hoodies but doesn’t admit that you look fluffy and cute

the amount of cuTenEss in the relationship

you kiss jisungs cheeks since he gets flustered

one time you kissed his nose and he just f r oz e in place

tHAT BOY IS SO SHYYY but he likes it when you give him kisses

in conclusion,,, love him forever

[miraculous-marichat]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 yes you have to tell me smth for every flower. Have fun uwu. Yes I'm Satan.

🌻 I'm gay

🌻 I like girls

🌻 I'm really depressed

🌻 I have a job

🌻 I'm almost 18

🌻 I love telling dad jokes

🌻 also dirty jokes

🌻 Kaminari is a babie

🌻 I rp a lot

🌻 can't you tell I have a type when or comes to fictional characters? Blonde, angry or the dumbass, or the glasses character

🌻 I'm poly

🌻 no, being poly is NOT about being able to cheat without actually cheating

🌻 I get kinda cranky when I'm tired

🌻 yes, I'll admit to being a kinnie

🌻 did you know, saying bless you originated in midevil times. People used to think a demon/the devil could possess you when you sneezed, so they blessed you.

🌻 only about 10% of whale sperm goes into the female, so that's why the oceans are so salty

🌻 I'm a furry

🌻 I don't really like using emojis

🌻 did I tell you I like telling dirty jokes?

🌻 my feet hurt

🌻 im gonna be a senior this year

🌻 honestly school makes me actually wanna die to the point where I have breakdowns practically once a month during school

🌻 my periods are so irregular they come once every 5-6 months

🌻 I'm very tmi when i wanna be

🌻 my favorite book is carry on

🌻 all of my ocs are LGBT because cishets aren't real

🌻 there are too many flowers here

🌻 tbh I might give some names

🌻 because why not lmao

🌻 James

🌻 Babie

🌻 Jenna

🌻 Mark

🌻 Alex

🌻 Yuuri

🌻 Viktor

🌻 Mimi

🌻 Babie Jr

🌻 Barbie

🌻 Ken

🌻 Jack

🌻 Bill

🌻 Bob

🌻 Dick

🌻 I started saying uwu about a year ago and i cant stop

🌻 I secretly wish the area 51 invasion is on September 19th cause thsts my birthday

🌻 I used to have a crush on Danny phantom

🌻 I watched mlp up to the 8th grade

🌻 amd it's true, all the ponies are gay and trans

🌻 I havw work tomorrow, i should be asleep

🌻 there's

🌻 so

🌻 many

🌻 flowers

🌻 f

🌻 u

🌻 c

🌻 k

🌻 y

🌻 o

🌻 u

🌻 but not really

🌻 I'm just tired and kinda grumpy

🌻 did i tell you I have a blister on my pinkie toe

🌻 it h u r t s

🌻 low-key i kinda wanna cry

🌻 like,,, just to cry

🌻 XD

🌻 That's illegal

🌻 you know what else is illegal

🌻 being a cishet

🌻 boom

🌻 I single handedly errased homophobia

🌻 Kaminari's pan, sorry i don't make the rules

🌻 I play favorites

🌻 sadly

🌻 I have a favorite dog, a favorite parent, a favorite food

🌻 I call my "favorite friend" my best friend

🌻 @ the two-ish people i call my best friends, y'all are my favorites

🌻 I have super loud dad sneezes

🌻 i still have so many flowers left

🌻 ugh

🌻 I get jealous easily

🌻 my friend took my partner to prom and i got so jealous i cried

🌻 djsjsjs

🌻 I'm just gonna out myself lmao

🌻 I'm sometimes Horny On Main and y'all don't even know it

🌻 hey guess what

🌻 chicken butt

🌻 haha you've been fooled

🌻 fhdhsbsj I text like a grandma

🌻 also i text with both my thumbs, is that weird

🌻 because en says it is

🌻 I kinda gotta pee but I don't wanna get up

🌻 see this is what you get

🌻 a bunch of tmi stuff

🌻 cause you sent a huge ask

🌻 >:3

🌻 because I started working i started drinking more water

🌻 and tbh it feels so refreshing

🌻 there's

🌻 too

🌻 many

🌻 fucking

🌻 flowers

🌻 did you know your brain makes you think you look prettier when you look in the mirror

🌻 so technically, when i think I look good, I just look super shitty

🌻 I believe in ghosts

🌻 and that my house is haunted

🌻 fhsusnssskxnkss my dog's snoring and it's so fucking cute

🌻I've only got a little bit more to go

🌻 tbh this is only me saying facts about myself

🌻 fuck

🌻 hecc

🌻 I've gotta peeeeee

🌻 but I don't wanna get uuuuuup

🌻 so I'll waiiiiiiit

🌻 till the morniiiiiiiiiing

🌻 thsnk you

🌻 that was a poem by me

🌻 called "Lazy"

🌻 lmao

🌻 wanna see how many curse words I can think of?

🌻 fuck

🌻 shit

🌻 bitch

🌻 cock

🌻 asshole

🌻 assface

🌻 asshat

🌻 ass

🌻 pussy

🌻 cunt

🌻 fuck nugget

🌻 bitch titties

🌻 dickballs

🌻 fucking cunt kicker

🌻 thats all

🌻 fuck this is stressful

🌻 there

🌻only

🌻a

🌻few

🌻more!!!!

🌻 the end

I fucking s u f f e r e d

[comfortvol4]

part 1 - 5 & 17!

17. Are you more of a sunrise or sunset watcher?

sunrise. i go on camping trips with my frat and i get up really early to always see the sunrise on the lake :) 

you can’t make read mores in asks rip

PART 1. Ask me about myself…

1. Do you like the way you look?

yeah most of the time. i know i could look better if i put in more effort into working out and stuff, but overall yeah. im not completely mad. 

2. Have you ever cut your hair yourself?

yeah when i was little my bangs were a shit show lkjdads

3. What’s your Instagram @?

mutuals can follow at @xsabrinalynn :)

4. Favorite console to play video games on?

i don’t play a lot of video games now, but i really loved my nintendo ds when i had one.

5. Do you collect anything?

all my tickets from flights, concerts, movies, etc.!! 

6. Have you ever smoked a cigarette?

nope!

7. Are you a fan of bread and butter?

yes!!!!! outback bread is my fave 

8. Does everything happen for a reason?

yeah. 

9. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

oh god. i accidentally texted my dad that i wanted to f*ck harry styles. 

10. Have you ever almost died?

yeah. i fell off some stairs and went backwards, falling half way down the long staircase, but i grabbed onto the railing somehow. i know if i didn’t try to grab onto something i probably would’ve broken my neck. 

11. Go-to ice cream order?

anything strawberry!! or taro! 

12. Do you like your room?

yes!! i like my college and home now, we just redid my home room :’)

13. What do you like to do when you’re feeling stressed?

do nothing. sleep. 

14. Who’s your best friend?

idk honestly. 

15. Favorite animal?

cats! 

16. Do you like to read?

yes!! 

17. Are you an extrovert or introvert?

ambivert!

18. Biggest regret?

not confronting people in my past sooner. would’ve saved me my mental health. 

19. Are you a fan of theme parks?

yes!! california adventure was the best! 

20. Have you crossed anything off your bucket list in the past 2 months?

i don’t have a list???? but im doing everything i wanted to do this summer. 

PART 2. Ask me if I’m a believer…

1. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah! 

2. Do you believe the butterfly effect is real?

uhhh idk 

3. Do you think love at first sight is legit?

yeah i think so. 

4. Do you think we go to heaven or hell when we die?

idk im not religious so idk 

5. Do you believe in karma?

yeah to some extent

6. Do you believe in witches and/or magic?

no

7. Do you think ghosts are real?

yeah! 

8. Do you believe in anything mythical/supernatural? (Bigfoot, Mermaids, Vampires, etc.)

yes and no, like i want them to be real but i don’t think they are. 

9. Do you believe in a God?

no

PART 3. Ask me about relationships & love…

1. Are you in love with anyone at the moment?

no

2. Do you want to eventually get married?

idk if it’s really the right person

3. Have you ever broke a friend’s trust?

yeah

4. What was your first kiss like?

haven’t had it

5. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in?

god idk i don’t think i would do anything?

6. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing?

oh god yes 

7. Explain your dream date.

a theme park. 

8. How would you react if you had a secret admirer?

try to figure out who they are (ive had one and knew who it was lol)

9. You’re having dinner with your s/o, are you guys eating at a restaurant or having a home cooked meal?

restaurant unless they know how to cook

10. Talk about one of your favorite memories you share with a friend.

i got close with one my friends at a party and it was really nice cause we clicked immediately we’re really great friends now! 

11. Have you ever secretly taken something from a friend and not given it back?

i don’t think so?

12. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex?

haven’t had ex’s so

13. Do you think any of your friends talk about you behind your back?

yeah

14. Where would you want to have your honeymoon?

santorini

15. Do you believe in sex before marriage?

yeah why no 

16. Are you currently single?

yeah

17. Have you ever broken up with someone?

no 

18. Have you ever cried over a break-up with a friend?

no 

19. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first?

my dad 

PART 4. Ask me about my favorite things!

1. Favorite feel-good movie?

to all the boys ive loved before

2. Favorite song from before 2005?

hey ya! - outkast

3. ALL-TIME favorite album?

god. probably i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - the 1975 

4. Favorite actress?

brie larson

5. Top 3 favorite colors?

pink, blue, purple

6. Favorite book genre?

young adult

7. Favorite poem?

ithaka by c.p. cavafy

8. Favorite actor?

tom holland dakjsdk obvs

9. Favorite type of food?

italian!

10. Favorite pair of shoes you own?

my white leather converse 

11. Favorite song right now?

senorita - shawn mendes, camila cabello

12. Favorite show you’ve ever watched?

bates motel 

13. Favorite show as of right now?

good trouble! 

14. Favorite quote?

“we are the choices we make. and have to make. we aren't anything else.” - chaos walking  

15. Favorite thing to do when you’re bored?

tumblr, watch a movie or sleep

16. Favorite food?

baked ziti or arroz imperial 

17. Favorite sea animal?

dolphins! 

18. Favorite perfume/cologne/body spray?

elizabeth james nirvana white 

19. Favorite drink to order at a coffee shop?

chai tea latte 

20. Favorite person you know?

my dad 

21. Favorite blog(s) here on Tumblr?

you!! @tomhollandcouk @parkerpete @parkerleeds @zendhaya @officialtessaholland @tmholland​ @akapeterparker​

22. Favorite Youtuber?

mikey murphy 

23. Favorite place to shop?

f21

24. Favorite book?

chaos walking series 

25. Favorite musician?

the 1975!

26. Favorite city you’ve been to?

chicago!

27. Favorite sport?

american football

28. Favorite outfit you own?

my overalls with a simple t-shirt and my converse

29. Favorite app to use?

instagram

30. Favorite flower?

sunflower

PART 5. Ask me Would You Rather…

1. Eat a slug OR Eat a cockroach?

cockroach

2. Not take a shower for a week OR Not brush your teeth for a week?

teeth? gum right??

3. Cuss out your boss OR Tell your mom she looks fat?

tell my mom she looks fat cause she asks me this anyways 

4. Fart in front of your crush (and they know it’s you) OR Accidentally sneeze in your celebrity crush’s face?

sneeze dkaskd

5. Jump off a cliff into the ocean OR Go skydiving and jump out of a plane?

skydiving

6. Be the girl who was known for eating her tampon OR Have everyone in your life legitimately hate you?

the tampon i think rip 

7. Not be able to own anything that costs more than $20 OR Only be able to own things that cost $100 or more?

$100 more 

8. Shit your pants on nation television OR Shit your pants at a job interview?

job interview shit happens lmao 

9. Be famous while you’re alive but forgotten when you die OR Be unknown while you’re alive but famous after you die?

famous after i die

10. Go to jail for 5 years for something you didn’t do OR Get away with a horrible crime and live with guilt & fear?

jail for 5 years 

[robotslovedeath]

Why You? | Draco M. x Reader (3)

A/N: I’m totally not improvising this as I go uwu anyway enjoy chapter 3 while I listen to some chill music to get me going (chill as in p!atd and some nostalgic game songs from childhood) also! i genuinely like harry as a character and i swear im not trying to shit on him lmao sorry if you think i loathe him with a passion. making him a dick in this is my intention just for the purpose of this fic dndbsb try listening to I'm a Mess by Bebe Rexha while reading! my ideas mostly rely on that song 👀

Word count: 1,633 words

Warnings: None.

Summary: Y/N’s been awfully interested in Harry Potter ever since she met him the first day she arrived at Hogwarts. Not that everyone else did, but crushes. What else could she say? It isn’t until Draco, coincidentally crushing on Y/N, spots Potter and her laughing wholeheartedly, like nothing else in the world matters. Frustration hits him unexpectedly, and he tries everything to get him to lure you to him, eventually making you his.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

"Harry, it's not what it looks like-" You began, pleading him to not bring it up to anyone else. Especially Ron and Hermione. You couldn't believe he had seen the hug between you two. Thinking about that, why the hell was Harry even spying on them?! Has he not got anything else to do? It was creepy in a way. "Y/N, it's way more than what it looks like. Are you serious? I-I've spent days trying to get your attention away from that sick Slytherin, how could you just disobey my orders like that? You're my friend and Malfoy can't just do as he pleases."

You were in utter disgust. Did he think you were some animal figure to him? Like you would go to anyone you saw and immediately take a liking to them? How arrogant could he be? He specifically mentioned that you were his friend. Did that mean that you could only rely on him? "Excuse me? Am I a joke to you? Do I look like I care about your current relationship with Malfoy? I don't give a single damn about that. If you're trying to protect me, then do it correctly! You're only making me want to run back to him!" You spat, your eyes ready to pour the remaining tears you had left in you.

"You're better than this, Potter." This time you called him by his last name. You didn't know him anymore, he was a complete stranger again. How could you love someone like him? Draco was right after all. For once, he actually was. Eventually, after running away from Harry, you found yourself in an empty classroom. The room being your second place to study in, just incase someone bothered you. As far as you were aware, no one knew about this place. Large sighs escaped your dry mouth, the loud ruffling of your books in your bag making so much noise. You finally found your F/B again, continuing off where you recently were.

In the end, you quickly got over your Harry-phase and decided to focus on your studies again instead of some lame crush that probably wasn't that big of a deal anyway. Well, you sure hoped it didn't or you would probably regret it again. Nose inside your book, mind inside your own little world, you didn't notice the time had gone by so fast. You put your book away right as you were about to exit the room, taken by surprise at the sight of him suddenly entering without warning.

"Y/L, thought I might find you here." Draco spoke, a signature smirk highlighting his pale face. "Draco- didn't I tell you to leave me alone? I really don't have the time for this, classes are about to start in a couple minutes-" He truly startled you. How would a guy like him know where to find you? It was strange, but you were glad to have at least a bit of company for the remaining break. "And also, please don't tell anyone about this place. I use it a lot and Ron and Hermione can't find out or they'll get mad--"

He cut you off with a shake of his head, and let you go past him. "They won't know anything unless they see where you run off to. I don't think they care enough anyway, Y/L. Why don't ya ditch 'em for a while, hm? We're pretty much Weasley and that Mudblood but way better. Way better than Mister Potter too, darling." The word 'darling' lingered on his tongue for a while before smiling again, noticing this as an unsure agreement at first. "I could.. maybe arrange that. I just need excuses, they won't believe a word if I make something on the spot."

Draco was definitely in for that simply by the look on his face. "You could tell them you're off to snog me for the next 800 years-" "Draco! Are you out of your mind? They wouldn't believe such a preposterous lie. As much I wish they would, they aren't fools." He at least tried to get your attention for some time, clearly failing to do so. "Anyhow, I'll.. probably think about it for now. It all seems so fast and I can't get use to it, Draco. Please give me time." You mumble rather slowly, distracted by how you were about to be late to class. "Apologies, I should get going. Good day, Draco."

Finding your seat ever so quickly, your short breaths made a couple pair of eyes stare in your direction. Just as you were about to settle down, class started. It was another boring lesson, you still being at the back and nearly dozzing off, before somebody hit a book to your head. "I'm sorry, Y/N! The professor told me I had to do it for your own sake, I would never do such a thing, I promise." It was Longbottom, his gentle side always being close to you as he realised how bad you were hurting ever since childhood. You kinda liked that side of him. You could even say you loved it a tiny bit. "No problem, Longbottom. No need for the apology." Guess this day wasn't as bad.

Class was dismissed and you only had to survive one more class until the day was over. Then you had all the time in the world to finish your book, avoid the trio and maybe go and check what Draco was doing. Not that you liked him. He was only your friend. "Hey, Y/L! I haven't seen you around much, is everything okay?" Finnigan was talking to you now, unusual for him to check up on you. Or maybe another demand from Ron. You knew how worried he would get seeing you with a Slytherin of some sort.

"..I'm fine. You really don't have to worry about me," You were thinking for a while, until, "say, Ron didn't send you here to ask how I was doing, did he?" You gave an unsure smile at him, your brows in a frown. "Bloody Weasley! Uh, excuse me while I step outside. Professor, may I head to the bathroom?" She gave a nod of approval and you proceeded outside to find the nearest corridor and lean against it, nowhere near your current classroom. How could he waste somebody's time just to ask how you were doing? You hadn't even talked to him since you last saw Potter. You didn't want anything to do with them anymore.

You got the fact they wanted to protect you, but it was so selfish trying to control you. What if you liked talking to Draco? What if you liked seeing his face? Hurrying over to the classroom, you found your seat again except this time someone's gaze was on you. You could feel it from the back. "..What are you looking it at?" Frankly, you felt like that was way too harsh but it didn't matter. He's a big boy, isn't he? Draco could handle it.

"Don't forget your assignments. Other than that, class dismissed." Well, that was it. Dinner and then everything was going to be fine. You really should have looked where you were going; bumping into a familiar chest, and looking up in sorrow. "Oh.. Draco. Hi." Your words slipped ever so quickly, hands by your sides, trembling sightly. "Hey, Y/L. Rather odd of you to be the first one out of class. You normally take your time once class is over, what's the problem with you now?" You wanted to get away from him, not having any time on your hands at the moment. "I'm.. heading somewhere. I.. broke my finger and I have to go to the hospital wing?" Your voice went way higher than before, vaguely smiling at Draco.

He chuckled. His chuckles turning into full on laughter. "You're kidding, right? You've never broken a bone. Ever since you got here you stated you were the healthiest witch alive." How could he remember that? Why did he? "That's none of your business. Enjoy dinner, Draco." Turning away from him, you sprinted to your beloved, empty classroom and sighed in relief when you saw he hadn't followed you. Even if he did, Draco knew where you were hiding from the beginning. You regretted that you didn't look back.

"You really hate them, don't you?" You jumped from your seat, landing on the floor with a loud thump. "Don't scare me like that! Bloody hell, what do you want?" He landed you a hand, taking it and standing up again. Dust was scattered everywhere on your robes; glad they weren't on your face. Although.. you began sneezing, face red and puffy. Great, you forgot about that allergy. "..Why do I feel so weak around you? You managed to make me fall and sneeze uncontrollably. 'You proud?" An annoyed groan left your mouth while you wiped the dust away.

He stepped towards you, too close than you intended him to be. "What are you doing?" He didn't say a word, only gazing into your E/C eyes. He wasn't about to.. you know. Was he? "Y/N, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm only going to.. know you a bit more." "Huh? Know me? What do you mea-" Cold lips connected to your warm ones, completely bewildered by what was happening. You couldn't seem to get away from Draco. It was like you were under his spell. Without magic. You two stayed like that for a couple seconds, eventually pulling away and leaving a string of saliva between your mouths. "I- did we just-? Did you--?" He nodded, walking out of the abandoned classroom and heading straight for the hall.

He really did just kiss you.

[askthetotallynotsquad]

*sneezes on michael* pls become more sick and die rn

ACT 1

Jeremy: *sobs* NO STOP

Rich: I fEeL iRrEllIveNt iLl jUsT LeAVe *puts gun up to head*

Jeremy: RICH NONONONO *hugs him*

Rich: wth mAn iM trYinG ro leT u aNh mIcheal bE alOne *still has gun up to head*

Jeremy: Rich please stop. I love youuuuuu- PLATONICALLY

Rich: wEll tO bAD *moves gun to stomach and pulls trigger*

Jeremy: Rich-

Rich: sh-shit that w-was a bad idea wasn’t it..*starts bleeding* f-fuck

Michael: omg rich!!! *speed dials 911*

Rich: hah.. *coughs up blood* t-thit

Michael: rICH YOU GOTTA BREATHE PLEASE

Rich: *coughs more* o-ok god well… nice kn-nowin ya…. *tries to breathe*

Michael: uM THINK ABOUT JAKE??

Rich: h-heh *smiles a bit and coughs more*

Jake: oMG RICH??? *sobs* DUDE BRO??

Rich: *hugs* i-its ok… *dies some more* ou-uch…

Jake: omg omg omg ok bro dude you’ll be fine right?? it’s like the fire??? you’ll be fine???

Rich: y-yeah…. *passes out from so much blood loss*

Hospital people: OMG!! QUICK GET HIM IN THE VEHICLE FOR THE HEALTH!!

Heath vehicle people: *throws rich in the heath vehicle*

Jake: *intense sobbing*

Rich: *passes out still*

Heath vehicle people: *gets in front of health vehicle about to drive*

Jake: *stops the health vehicle* let me go with my bf pls

Heath vehicle people: sure why not kid don’t kill him though or else we will lose some money

Jake: *cartwheels into the heath vehicle with rich* babe omg awaken pls

Rich: *tumbles on over to Jake and hugs him still passed out*

Jake: omg rich ily bab *kiss*

All the healthy bros working at that heath place: *fixes rich*

(1 hour later)

Rich: *wakes up*

Jake: *hugs rich* omg babe you almost died I missed you

Rich: *hugs tighter* i-im ok *smiles*

Jake: *all the kisses* please don’t do that again rich

Rich: I won’t d-don’t worry *still shaking a bit*

Jake: *breaks the health place rules and lays next to rich bc he needs all the hugs*

Rich: *hugs* your great

Jake: *kisses our favorite short boy on the nose* so are you

Rich: *cuddles*

Jake: *gently cuddles and whispers v nice things to rich*

Rich: *falls asleep cuddling jake*

Nice classic time skip

Jake: *carries rich to Rich’s house*

Rich’s mom: WHAT’S THIS RICH

Rich: *wakes up* NOTHING MOM

Rich’s dad: I THOUGHT U WERE TO MUCH OF A LOSER TO HAVE FRIENDS

Rich: *sobs a bit* y-yes dad I am..

Jake: rich it’s okay— *plays with Rich’s hair bc our boy* it’ll be okay

Rich’s mom: EXCUSE ME CHILD BUT WHY ARE YOU HARASSING MY SERVANT

Rich: *sobs*

Rich’s dad: QUIT CRYING YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Rich: *holds back tears* yes dad

Rich’s dad: CALL ME SIR

Rich: yes sir…

Jake: *angry Jake pulls a jake* eXCUSE ME SHITHEADS BUT WHY ARE YOU HARRASSING MY BOYFRIEND BC IF YOU DO I WILL SLAP A BITCH OR TWO

ACT 2

Rich: *clings onto jake*

Rich’s dad: SERVANT WHAT IS THIS PEASANT TALKING ABOUT

Rich’s mom: ARE YOU GAY!!!! *pulls out shotgun about to shoot jake*

Rich: *v v v scared* —- MOM NO

Rich’s mom: WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU BITCH

Rich: b-because I love him!!!!

Jake: *shields rich bc oh no*

Rich’s mom: *boom boom tries to shoot rich but oh damn she shoots jake*

Rich’s dad: good job wife you killed it

Rich’s mom: yeah

Jake: *passed out oops*

Rich: WHAT THE FUCK MOM *starts sobbing* YOU ARE ALL FUCKING BATHSTARDS AND IF I COULD YOU WOULD BE DEAD BY NOW *v sob* stay with me Jake… it’s ok….

Rich’s mom: FUCK U *trys to shoot rich but has no bullets* SHIT

Rich’s dad: LET’S GET OUT BEFORE THE COPS COME!!

(Rich’s parents run away)

Rich: s-stay with me… *calls 911*

Jake: *jake wakes up a little* I’m f-fine— rich I’ll be fine— *passes out again*

Rich: *screams to 911* GOD FUCKING DAMNIT HELP ME *starts sobbing over jake*

(Health vehicle people arrive)

Heath vehicle people: ugh u agian. Get him in the heath vehicle u are not coming

Rich: *slowly pulls out gun* do You wanna be the next one in the health vehicle?

Health vehicle people: OK YOU CAN COME JEEZ…

Healthy health people: *fix jake*

29 hours later

Jake: *jake awake* rich-?

Rich: *jumps-ish onto jake* I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD *happy sobs*

Jake: oW- *hugs rich weakly sksksk* I told you I’d be okay— *haha weak laugh*

Rich: *hugs tightly telling Jake jokes*

Jake: you’re so small and perfect… *boops Richard Goranski Bc that’s the tea*

Rich: *crosses eyes for a moment and blushes* your perfect too

Jake: I wanna sleep—- *woah Jake falls asleep*

Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: *fortnite dances in* hey kids want a beverage *gives rich a “perfectly normal” drink* I’m a healthy health bro so you can trust me ok bye

Rich: ooooo drinks *drinks the drink* wait. This is.

Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: MTN DEW >:)

ACT 3

Rich: *starts screaming and rolling around on the ground and overall dying*

Jake: *screams and wakes up to his bf having a seizure omg* rich?? babe??? bro??? are you okay??? *panic panic panic*

Rich: AWUHHDHXNHRNCJDBJSNWKDNEONCIENXLWNDOCNEKCNIENCJDBDJSMLAHHBSHHhHHhHHHhhhhh *rolls around holding head* H-HELP JAKE HELP…!.! A..A.AJHhh d9g xhdhxudnkshJHHJDHDBIDNRIEW

Jake: rich- Richard what’s wrong?? Tell me please- talk to me— what’s wrong-

Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: *yeets himself out the window*

Rich: *stops screaming* hhh….* turns to jake crying and sweating* i-its back jake… it’s back.. *has a panic attack and moves closer to jake* j-jake it’s b-back *keeps crying*

Jake: rich- rich come here- it’s going to be alright- I love you babe- *kisses rich on the top of his head bc our boy*

Rich: *cuddles up to jake still sobbing a bit and shaking*

Squip(dark Kermit): OK first order of buisness. Ditch this goon.

Rich: WH-what!! Never!! *still sobbing and holds onto jake tightly*

Jake: *hugs onto rich tightly* it’ll be okay—- I’m here— you’re okay-

Dark Kermit: disgusting. You seriously want this… thing? Nah- go for… chloe?

Rich: n-no!!! He'th amazing!!!

Dark Kermit: mutters- optic nerve blocking on- fine. We’ll have to do this the hard way.

Rich: j-JAKE!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH JAKE!!

Jake: Rich? Why’re you yelling- it’s okay-

Dark Kermit: STOP WITH THE LISP! Jesus… you’re such a bad person.

Rich: *sobs* i-im not that bad…

Dark Kermit: why would this hooligan hang around you if you aren’t bad

Rich: HE'TH BEAUTIFUL!!

Dark Kermit: yeah, just like you right?

Rich: … *silently crys* i-im not- not that bad……… im not b-bad..

Dark Kermit: your terrible. The lisp make you worse. And this whippersnapper. He makes you terrible. Cut him off

Jake: rICH? RICH THIS ISN’T FUNNY. TALK TO ME-

Rich: WAIT WHERE DID JAKE GO- JAKE WHERE ARE YOU!! WHAT HAPPENED!! JAKE DON’T LEAVE ME PLEASE….. don’t leave me alone….

Jake: *hugs rich* I’m right here— I’m here-

Dark Kermit: ew push him off you

Rich: I-i can feel you i just can’t thee you… Kermit heth…. I can’t thee you please….. just…. *sobs*

Jake: I’m here- that’s all that matters- I’m here- it’s okay *all the kisses* lemme call up my homie Michael *calls up his homie michael*

Michael: yeah sup

Jake: I need mtn dew red

Michael: yeah come to my house

Jake: why

Michael: I’m comfortable

Jake: fine

Rich: d-don’t leave me!!!!! *moves around trying to find jake* don’t leave me!! *tears up*

Jake: I’m going to pick you up, okay babe? *bOOM picks up rich bridal style bc owo* *runs on over to his homie Michael’s house* MICHAELLLLL

Michael: I’m in my room, bitch

Rich: *clings onto jake*

Dark Kermit: ok I’m back from japan and my spa. What’s been happ- OH MY GOD YOURE IN THHE PRESENCE OF TWO LOSERS! GET OUT OF THERE.

Jake: *runs to our homie michaels room*

Dark Kermit: im done *starts to take control of rich’s legs

Rich: *clings onto jake tighter* he’s gonna t-take control *starts moving legs trying to get up* j-jAKE DON’T LET ME GO WHATEVER YOU DO WHATEVER I SAY DON’T LET GO OF ME *clings tighter*

Jake: *hugs rich tighter sksksk*

Dark kermit: jfc this is boring uh—- *makes rich punch Jake in the nose* thereee

Jake: *gasp-* ow— oW *cries*

Rich: I’M SORRY *sobs* I DIDN’T MEAN TO *sobs a lot and clings onto jake v tightly* PLEASE DON’T LET ME GO…. u-unless I hurt you agian…. I don’t want y-you getting hurt *v sob v sad*

Dark Kermit: *makes rich kick Jake in the ribs bc this is the tea* hah hah hah

Jake: ooWwww *drops rich and doubles over bc ow pain*

Michael’s first mom: Michael your friends are here!

Michael’s second mom: Michael your friends are fighting!

Rich: I-IM SO SORRY I-

Dark Kermit: *makes rich y’all ooo the tea*

“Rich”: I hate you ew you’re gross go die

Jake: rich??? that- that’s mean…

Michael: CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN IM TRYNA FIND THE MTN DEW— AND WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

Rich: i- I didn’t mean it it was the squip I swear!!!!! Please just find the mtn dew.. I can’t hurt you anymore…. *single tear*

Dark Kermit: mmm nahhh

“Rich”: just leave omg I’m lying to you. I’ve always hated you, douche. Go die—

Jake: riCHARD!

Michael’s mom pt. 1: Michael who do you hang out with?!

Michael’s mom pt. 2: Do we need to have a talk??

Michael: CAN EVERYONE SHUT UP?!

Rich: i…. i

Dark Kermit: you’re so bad at this

“Rich”: just leave. Leave!!

Michael’s moms pts 1&2: this is like a soap opera omg

Michael: Jesus why is my room a mess..-

Jake: rich please stop…

Rich: I’M TRYING!! *sobs* HE'TH TAKING OVER…

Michael: bAM FOUND IT *michael makes an entrance dododo* here— *shoves that tasty mtn dew red down Rich’s throat*

Jake: riCH?

Rich: *still sobbing* he- he'th gone…. *hugs jake* I’M SO SORRY… ALL OF THAT WAS NOT TRUE I-I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME

Jake: it’s okay… it’s okay… I’m here… *hugs rich bc he deserves all the hugs*

Michael: can you guys get out of my house bc jere is coming over—

Jake: jfc *picks up rich and kisses his nose uwu* lets go babe

ACT 4

Rich: *holds onto jake* thanks for that… you know.. getting rid of the squip and all for me *kisses Jake bc he is a hero*

Jenna: *has filmed entire thing from ACT 1 to act 3* heh heh heh heh >:)

Jake: I love you so much babe- *all the kisses sksksksksk*

Jenna: *still filming all this hot tea*

Rich: I love u to :) *so much of the kisses*

Jenna: *stops film* YO GAYS

Rich: *turns around* thit-

Jake: oh- um- *lets go of rich* hiii jennaaaaa———

Jenna: look what i got *holds up camera*

Rich: no no no no no no no it’s not what it looks like…

Jenna: OK so I’ll go tell Madeline Jake is single then ok?

Rich: —————–JAKE IS MINE

Jake: Jenna, what’re you going to do with that recording? *hugs rich bc iconic*

Jenna: oh idk, defiantly NOT show the school… yeah! Because I want to not be cool. Sure…. NO. I am showing EVERYONE!!

Rich: *hides behind Jake scared*

Jake: J-Jenna! You wouldn’t do that- right?? Right??

Jenna: Yes I would! In fact, I already shared it with clohe, Brooke, and Madeline! They will share will share with evreyone else since they are v popular.

Rich: *continues hiding behind jake*

Jake: *hugs rich close to himself*

Chloe: *screeches and jumps outta tree* oH MY GOD!!! THAT IS SO GAY!

Rich: *hugs Jake sobbing* why do we have to c-come out by gossip…

Jake: *rubs Rich’s back* it’ll be okay, babe. I’m here… *kisses Rich’s head bc my sons*

Jenna: this will be the talk of the school tomorrow! I can’t wait!

Rich: i-i don’t wanna be cool anymore… *hugs Jake tighter*

Jake: shhh… it’s okay…

WOW LOOK THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL

Bully McGee: *slides on over to Rich’s dms and life tbh* hey gay. you’re gay. haha dummy

Rich: ……. *moves closer to jake*

Jake: *punches bully mcgee* go away.

Jenna: oh it’s my second favorite gays! How are you two?

Rich:(sarcasm alert) oh you know, bullied here, getting called a faggot there. Good times, good times. *leans on Jake*

Jake: *kisses rich on the nose* Stop being so angry *laughs*

Madeline: *stomps on over to jakey d and rich* jAKE. HOW COULD YOU DATE ME, AND THEN JUST THINK YOU CAN CONVERT TO A FAG? I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU.

Jake: Madeline- calm down-

Madeline: NO. I WILL NOT. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME. *sLAPS JAKE BC TEA* *sassily walks away*

Jake: *cries* I didnt mean to hurt anyone…

ACT 5

Rich: thes a bitch jake, don’t let that get to you *hugs jake* if it makes you feel any better, you know I love you *smiles*

Jake: mhm… *digs his face into Rich’s hair bc wow*

Hobo’s cousin: hey bitches it’s me 😏 who wants a nice quality tic tac

Rich: no thanks I’m good

Jake: idk gimme one *inhales a tic tac*

Hobos cousin: oh yeah take mtn dew *shoves it down jake’s throat*

Jake: *intense screaming*

Rich: JAKE ARE YOU OK *holds jake*

Jake: rich- babe- th-there’s a man behind you— he’s— scary— *cuddles into rich* rich I’m scared— what happened???

Live action squidward (SQUIP): why the fuck is this short little asshole touching you ew

Jake: uH?

Rich: *holds Jake tighter bc he’s special* i-its ok dude…i think it’s a thquip…

Jake: *sobs into Rich’s shoulder* I want it to be gone- it’s- it’s scary- and mean-

Squidward: ew you make me want to poop

Jake: *screaming*

Jenna: wow this is tea *films Jake literally dying*

Rich: *plays with his hair to calm him down* i-its ok bro it’s fine I got u man… (in his head: THIS IS NOT FINE)

Jake: *sits on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest* rich— I’m scared—

Squidward: hi I’m a robot beeply booply

Rich: Its ok bb i got u.. *sits next to Jake pulling him closer*

Squidward: what does this fag think he’s doing. Get him away he might give you rabies

Jake: *hugs into rich* go away squidward—

Squidward: *makes Jake push rich away* there you go

“Jake”: what am I doing? I should be with Madeline

Rich: w-what…?

Squidward: hehehheheh

“Jake”: yeah! YOU DO realize no one likes you right? You just a flat out loser. I can’t belive I Dated you

Rich: n-no… it’s the thquip… *starts to cry*

“Jake”: no, this is just me. Plain. Old. Jake.

Squidward: nice job me! Well thank you me

Jake: rich I- *BAM the squip shuts off his vocal chords bc omg tea*

Squidward: I am just so good at this

Rich: you what….

Squidward: heh heh heh

“Jake”: I hate you.

Rich: o-oh yeah cool….. *looks away crying*

Jake: *starts sobbing and hugs rich*

Squidward: hehehe 😎😎

Rich: t-thorry for being alive….

Squidward: look what you did to your friend. You’re such an asshole

Jake: *intense sobbing and shaking*

“Jake”: you should be sorry. you’re the ugliest, stupidest, worst person I’ve ever met. your short and you have a lisp which is ugly af

Rich: F-FINE I N-NEVER LIKED U ANYWAYS… *runs to Jake’s house sobbing and shaking*

Squidward: *BAM wow look Jake can talk again*

Jake: RICH WAIT- *sONIC RUNS AFTER RICH* RICH STOP I DIDN’T MEAN IT- IT WASN’T ME-

[cannedapricot]

Christmas Shopping with! Yoon Jisung

another installment of the chirstmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee ft. toy store worker! yoon jisung!!

jisung works at a toy store in a mall on the second floor

and he loves it

he loves seeing children’s faces glowing in happiness after entering the store

he loves helping children find the perfect toy

jiSUNG’S JUST FULL OF LOVE FOR WHAT HE DOES

when children start throwing tantrums, jisung’s the first person to rush over

the child stops crying after 5 seconds because thE FACES JISUNG MAKES TO CHEER THEM UP ARE LEDGENDARY

co-worker! sungwoon swears that jisung would marry his job if he could

everyone who’s ever visited this specific mall knows of yoon jisung

i mean, he’s the resident sunshine who glows so brightly whenever he smiles that everyone in the mall stops to wear sunglasses

he’s also the reason why every kid ever wants to go to that one toy shop lol

the boss wanted to make jisung the mascot at one point but jisung was like,

“oh no!! i’m probably going to scare people away from the shop haha!”

and that’s how sungwoon was forced into being the mascot because he was “smol and fluffy”

jisung never lets sungwoon live because of it

“oh look!!! sungwoon’s on our poster again!!11!111″

“...TEAR IT DOWN”

chirstmas is jisung’s favorite holiday

part of it was because of the snow and quality family time 

but mostly it was because mORE SMILEY KIDS WOULD WALK INTO THE SHOP

CHEEKS RED WITH COLD

AND EYES GLEAMING WITH EXCITEMENT 

the shop has this thing where the staff can wrap your presents for you

and everyone h a t e s being put on gift wrapping duty

because its??? so??? boring???

they’d much rather do something else

aka find a corner where the boss can’t see you and go on your phone smh

so when the boss calls a meeting and announces that the gift wrapping duty is back!!!

all he gets are groans in response

except from jisung though

he puts his arm straight up and with sparkling eyes, he says

“I VOLUNTEER”

“uh ok i guess jisung’s on gift duty for the fourth year in a row”

but daniel and jaehwan are also selected for different shifts

jisung nearly has a heart attack when he hears that jaehwan’s also on gift duty

beCAUSE THAT BOY CAN’T WRAP GIFTS FOR SHIT

so jisung spends his lunch break teaching jaehwan how to wrap a gift properly and prettily :’)

jaehwan tries to learn because he doesn’t want to deal with screaming kids if he wraps their gift shittily

it doesn’t turn out as perfect as jisung’s but it’ll have to do :’’’)

jisung’s also the only person who happily wears the santa hat uniform addition 

jiSUNG’S WILL HAPPILY DO ANYTHING FOR THIS SHOP

HE LOVES THE SHOP WITH HIS WHOLE HEART SIDVBIS

even if the pay isn’t as high as other jobs, jisung’s content :’) 

he’s such an angel i love him

you worked at a local kindergarten!

you’ve only been working for a couple of months but the kids there absolutely adore you!!

you’d step in the classroom and everyone would rush over to hug you

the kindergarten once had a popularity vote among the teachers and you ranked first even though you were new :””)

everyone wanted to be in your class

and the other teachers are lowkey offended 

it was a tradition every year to bring the kids on a trip to the mall for them to write small wish lists to send to santa :’’’’’)

the kids were thrilled obviously

“sCHOOL TRIP TIME WHEEEEEEEE”

it took a while for them to calm down

but they eventually did 

you’ve never been to the mall in this area,,, so you’re kinda scared that you’re gonna get lost or lose one of the kids etc

you tried getting out of it

“hey uh cough cough minhyun? cough”

“yeah?”

“sneeze i think i’m down with a cold”

“oh no!!!111!!1!1 would you like to take a few days off???”

“yes-”

“is what you think i’d say right? too bad we’re already low on staff as it is we don’t need another ‘sick’ one”

THERE GOES THAT PLAN OUT THE WINDOW

you knew that there was no point in arguing anymore :’)

on the day you were a nervous wreck

you had planned to go around the mall yesterday but that didn’t happen

thanks to your close friend suddenly dropping by

yoU WERE SWEATING AND YOUR EYES WERE DARTING EVERYWHERE

EVEN THE KIDS THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS OFF

“miss y/n? are you okay?”

“o-OH YEAH I’M FINE TOMMY”

WIPES SWEAT

after herding the kids into the bus, you tried to make a run for it

but minhyun catches you with his signature “where do you think you’re going” smile on his face

then proceeds to fling you onto the bus

upon reaching the mall, the kids immediately screamed to go visit the toy store

having no choice but to do so, you bring your little group of kids towards the toy shop on the second floor

while looking at the map you have on your phone lmao

you let out a sigh in relief when you reach the store without anything happening

you tell the kids not to wander off by their own and stick close together

entering the shop, you catch a certain worker’s eye 👀👀

i mean you would catch my eye as well

it’s not everyday someone walks into a shop with 10 kids around them

but of course the shop expected your kindergarten to visit this time of year

and that particular worker slides up to your party while in the lego section

“hi! i’m jisung! is there anything you’re looking for?”

you were about to respond but the kids responded before you could

“wHERE ARE THE BARBIES???”

“BRING ME A STUFFED BEAR PLEASE”

p a ni c s

“i’m so sorry- n O EMILY STOP CLINGING ON THE WORKER’S LEG”

jisung lets out a hearty laugh,

“don’t worry! i’m used to it”

anD BOY WAS HIS LAUGH ATTRACTIVE

is it getting hot in here or is it just jisung? 👀👀

jisung squats down to the little girl’s height and talks to her in the s o f t e s t tone

and you think that’s he’s possibly the cutest man you’ve ever m e t

“miss y/n!!!! stop staring at him!!”

buoVOUVODUV???????

jisung’s draws his attention from the little girl to look at you

yOU GLOW BRIGHT RED

“I WASN’T- UH- I WAS LOOKING AT THAT STUFFED RABBIT BEHIND YOU YEAH”

AND JISUNG CHUCKLES AT YOUR OBVIOUSLY FLUSTERED FACE

deciding not to make you glow any more red, he says,

“hey, i’ll help you deal with the kids today yeah?”

“OHMYGOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH”

BECAUSE

FINALLY 

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE MALL WELL

“i’ll go tell my boss!”

he doesn’t

he tells sungwoon to cover for him

“heY YOU TOLD ME TO POSTPONE MY DATE TO WORK HOW COME YOU GET TO-”

covERS SUNGWOON’S MOUTH

“it’s not a da t e”

sungwoon rolls his eyes

“sure ok”

and so jisung joins your party!!

y’all look like a cute family with 10 kids :’)

throughout the day, jisung’s interaction with the kids and his funny personality made you feel like melting

was it possible for a man to be this adorable??

you didn’t know but,,

jisung was also melting for you too :’)))

so when minhyun calls you and says that it’s time to leave

jisung doesn’t want to let you go

neither did you tbh

so as you herd the kids into the bus once again, jisung pulls you back for a moment

“hey,,,, uh,,,, have you done your christmas shopping yet?”

“not yet!! i’m planning to do so this sunday”

“oh!! great!! um,,, i was wondering if you wanted to do it together? sunday’s my day off too,,,”

hE WAS AVOIDING EYE CONTACT AS HE ASKED YOU AND YOU WERE SQUEALING INSIDE

“yES! I MEAN-- sure!”

and then jisung looks at you with the whole galaxy in his eyes

his cheeks were flushed but you had no idea whether it was because of the weather or because he was flustered

“REALLY???”

you reply with a smile and a nod of your head

he then digs through his pockets for a pen

and asks you to write your number on his hand

the pen was in the shape of a giraffe

minhyun screams for you as soon as you finished writing the last digit

“i’ll text you!!”

jisung yells as you run towards the bus, waving at him with a huge smile

he does

and you two don’t stop texting until sunday

“y/n! over here!!”

you rush over to the waiting jisung 

“i’m sorry did you have to wait for a long time?”

he smiles and claims that he just got here

and you two head into the mall

as soon as you two step in, you guys were surrounded by couples who were also christmas shopping

and it felt awkward for the first time since you’ve known jisung

clEARS THROAT

“so,,, y/n, where do you want to go first?”

you randomly point at a stationary store 

and you two exit a few minutes later

with a bunch of bags in hand

“i knEW WE SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE INTO THAT STORE”

hOLD IN YOUR TEARS Y/N, YOUR WALLET WILL BE O K

jisung laughs 

“THIS ISN’T SOMETHING TO LAUGH OVER”

“sorRY”

HUFFS

and you two continue your raid of the mall

exiting a new shop with more bags each time :”)

at one point y’all entered a furniture shop and accidentally walked into the beds section

the worker there mistakes you for a couple and smirks at you two 👀👀

yOU TWO SUDDENLY REALIZE WHAT THE SMIRK MEANT

AND HURRIED OUT OF THE STORE

y’all also entered the toy store jisung works at

and jisung’s co-workers are all staring at you two

especially sungwoon and jaehwan who followed you two around the shop talking loudly about how jisung was boyfriend material

“DID YOU KNOW JISUNG IS GREAT AT COOKING RAMEN???”

“OH REALLY???”

“YEAH WHOEVER MARRIES HIM WOULD BE LUCKY”

JISUNG WAS SWEATIN G

WHY ARE HIS FRIENDS SO EMBARRASSING

“y/N LETS LEAVE THE SHOP”

“what- i haven’t finished-”

PUSHES YOU OUT

but doesn’t forget to buy you a gift from the shop

after wandering around the mall more, you two end up in front of the giant christmas tree 

the lights casted shadows around 

and you turn to face jisung, finding him looking up at the tree with those stars in his eyes

then he turns to face you with that huge smile of his

and bOY HIS FACE ILLUMINATED BY THE LIGHT WHILE HE SMILES HNNNNG

then he suddenly pulls out a rabbit soft toy

“merry christmas y/n! here’s your present!!”

this was the same rabbit you had claimed to be staring at while you were actually staring at jisung

“you were staring at this the other day right?”

yOU BURST INTO LAUGHTER

jisung thought you were laughing at his gift :(

“IM NOT LAUGHING AT THE GIFT, I’M JUST LAUGHING BECAUSE,,”

“because??”

“I WASN’T ACTUALLY STARING AT THE RABBIT, I WAS STARING AT YOU,,,,, THANK YOU ANYWAYS THOUGH”

and yOU SNATCH THE RABBIT FROM HIS HANDS

TO HIDE YOUR REDDENING FACE

jisung’s face lights up at this

“y/n?”

“yes?”

“what do you think about today being our first day?”

“??first day??”

“yeah, as a couple”

STATIONARY SHOPS MAKE ME GO BROKE OSFDGBOSB

also this was lowkey kinda shit,,,,, jisung’s actually a ray of sunshine in human form and i love him so much anyone who says he’s ugly can come fight me