#shitposting with so much commitment to the bit

[berry-bread-bakery]

Close ups⤵️

POV: Garus 9 if it was like FNAF, and Overlord is Springtrap and the Wreckers are nightgaurds or something. Lsotw copium for me….I think this was a good use of my markers

[hashtagcaneven]

The final Trigun Shitpost Sunday of 2024 (and probably a long while because I did a full year and I am very tired)

Gif only version

[alexjcrowley]

I feel like yesterday I had a conversation worthy of a Tumblr shitpost and I can't get it out of my mind. But I really wish I could, get it out of my mind. It was harmless, it was amongst friends, but it was so fucking cursed that even if the words used were indeed in the bible they should edit them out because they don't belong there anymore. They have been tainted forever.

[crowttore]

Genshin characters as ways animals court and mate

Welcome to another round of (hopefully) the weirdest biology lessons you'll ever receive. Essentially a shitpost, someone should take away my writing privileges. There could be better suited animals out there, I just chose from the ones I know.

Characters: Arlecchino, Cyno, Alhaitham, Arataki Itto, Ororon, Xianyun, Zhongli

Not seeing your fav character? Link to more

Tags: nsfw in the way a national geographic documentary is, there are no graphic details but proceed at your own discretion

Arlecchino - Corcorax melanorhamphos (White-winged chough)

From the moment you breach The Knave's defences, it becomes inevitable that you'll become part of her family. She's not the best at romance and love (how could she have grown up to be?) and is often oddly direct, if a little clumsy, in her displays of affection. One thing you can be absolutely sure of is that she'll never let any harm come to you. You'll be invited to participate in activities at the House, she'll be lingering around you, and she'll be hoping that you offer your help to her children. That's what family does. Actions are worth so much more than words will ever be. The white-winged chough is a bird that lives in larger family groups and regularly steal unrelated offspring from neighbouring groups to increase their own group size and better ensure survival. All members take turn and help raise offspring (alloparenting) and do other tasks. They build incredibly sturdy nests, and individuals are known to be extremely territorial towards foreign birds.

Cyno - Erinaceus spp. (hedgehogs)

We all know that the General Mahamatra can be a bit.. annoying at times. And if he's actively trying to win you over? You best believe he's giving it his absolute best shot when he isn't out on the job, inviting you along wherever he goes to relax. To the great amusement (and embarrassment) of his friends, a choice strategy is to make you laugh... It's pretty cute, if a little pathetic at times. He makes genius invocation tcg decks for you to use against him, 100% has matching cards made of you both - you get his and he keeps yours. You can roll your eyes at his shenanigans as you please, he's persistent in his pursuit as long as you haven't outright rejected him. Erinaceus males will approach the sow and begin walking in circles around it, the female might occasionally hiss or swat at the male, sometimes even curling in on herself, but most of the time is just for show. The circling can continue for longer than an hour during which the male is huffing and trying to asses and approach.

Alhaitham - Haliaeetus leucocephalus (bald eagle)

Alhaitham isn't a man who loves easily. He enjoys his routine and his peace, meaning you are truly special to him if he decides to invite you into his life. He's a man of commitment and will do whatever he can to show you that he's quite serious about this. You can be certain that Alhaitham will be making sure you have everything you could need at his place, eager (even if he thinks he's being discreet) to let you know that he wants you there. When it comes to getting intimate, he's inexperienced but attentive, mentally taking note of every little reaction and direction you provide. Sometimes tho.. Alhaitham might need you to be a little more direct in your approach. Sure, he catches a lot and infers even more, but somehow, the most basic things seem to sometimes slip right past him... Plus, it's always nice to know that you're as interested as he is. We all know the 'bald eagles lock talons and plummet together'. But their courtship also involves showing off nest-building, very intricate little performances, a plethora of vocal calls... They're monogamous birds who bond for life, continuing courtship behaviour throughout their life to 'renew the spark'. During mating, the male will start by asking the female who will either nudge him away or position herself to be mounted. Seven to twelve seconds is what you get fellas. That's how long poor excited lovesick Alhaitham exchange of sperm lasts. Sometimes, the female will mount the male to let him know that she is ready.

Arataki Itto - Hypsignathus monstrosus (hammer-headed bat)

Oh boy. There's a reason I'm not an Itto fucker and this is part of it. Would absolutely take any chance he could (and probably try to set up even more chances...) to show you how cool he is. Always front and center, the adorable oni might very well get the brilliant idea to write you a song and perform in front of everyone at the next Iridescence Tour. Enters every single competition he can in an attempt to win you the prices and impress you. Hammer-headed bats engage in a courting behaviour known as 'lek mating', in which groups of males form a lek and establish performance areas. The males then hang from a branch, flapping their wings, and producing loud calls while females fly around and peruse the males available.

Ororon - Homarus americanus (American lobster)

Sweet sweet (awkward) Ororon. He needs you to be a little more direct with him if you expect anything more than being his bro... No matter what, he will cherish you and make sure you're healthy and safe (proudly bringing you so so many vegetables that he's grown). A female lobster will approach the den of a male before using specialised openings (nephropores) under the antennae to spray urine towards the opening of the den. She then uses her gills to create a current to ensure all the pheromones reach the male. If he thinks it's a match, he'll let her into the den and provide food and safety.

Xianyun / Cloud retainer - Grus japonensis (Manchurian crane)

As we've seen, Xianyun has quite the knack for designing pretty clothes, and once she's set her sights on courting someone, it doesn't take long for her 'daughters' to encourage her to make something that shows her off. Reluctant at first, wanting to make something nice for you instead (she ends up doing both) she eventually invites you for a stroll through the harbor. She's dazzling of course, leading you around while practically chatting your ear off. Next time you're invited to Mt. Aozang, she shows off the equally stunning garment prepared for you and makes you try it on before pulling out one of her musical contraptions and inviting you for a dance "to test the range of motion". Cranes in general exhibit 'elegant' courtship dances that are not only performed before initiating a partnership, but done regularly to strengthen the bond between two individuals. The courtship dance also shows off their plumeage, the health of which is important for selecting a partner.

Zhongli - Varanus komodoensis (komodo dragon)

The lord of geo knows what he wants, and Zhongli, the 'human', isn't all that different in your opinion. He treasures you above all else, treating you with such care despite how his instincts occasionally scream at him to jump you. Zhongli loves to nuzzle against you, loves the feeling of your fingers running along his scales while his claws are itching to do the same to you. It's unconscious how he licks at you, an urge to taste you that he simply can't resist, spending hours at a time with his face buried against your skin. And when you finally leave the house together once more? It only takes a single glance from him to dissuade any who would try to proposition you - not that you would ever trade your sweet, overgrown lizard of a husband for anything. Komodo dragons are quite the unusual lizard as they may form monogamous pairs (if not in a bonded pair, males will stand on their hind legs and fight other males for access to females). Mating between dragons can be pretty fierce, leading the male to pin the female beneath him to avoid getting hurt. Typical mating behaviours include rubbing his chin on the female, extensive licking, and scratching each other.

I do also write regular fanfic, I promise.

[what-eats-owls]

I've already gotten a couple nastygrams about this, so I want to address something since that post is breaking containment. (Also, anon asks are off for a bit, sorry not sorry.)

There's a post in my drafts from this morning. It's a reply to someone who brought up Palestine and Gaza. In it, I expressed admiration and respect for the Uncommitted Movement and what they've accomplished, as well as their current stance that while they cannot endorse Harris, Trump must not be allowed to return to power. I started to write about how 46% of registered Democrats in a recent AP poll opposed providing Israel with more weapons, but 30% were in favor, and 20% were neutral. I started to write about how that could be related to the significant generational divide in attitudes towards Israel and Palestine. And how, when 52% of all ballots in 2020 were cast by people over the age of 50, that's whose vote is gonna get courted, whether I like it or not.

I was gonna talk about my parents, two classic white liberal boomers who are appalled at the atrocities the government of Israel is openly and proudly committing. I was gonna talk about how bitter it is to get a female candidate who I cannot give my unrestrained, enthusiastic support to, because her boss's administration has enabled the murder of over 43,000 Gazans and even though I understand the rationale behind trying to please voters on both sides, it's always going to be a stain on this campaign.

And then I took a step back, and asked myself if any of that is going to matter to someone who can't find the correct configuration of buzzwords on the social media platform I use primarily for fandom shitposting, and decides that gives them moral ground to send self-gratifying abuse into my inbox. It wouldn't matter what I said, only that I had provided an opening. (I'm a veteran of YA twitter. I know how this game works.)

So that post stayed in the drafts. But here we are.

My post about voting doesn't mention Palestine because, in my direct experience, it doesn't matter what cause you're trying to help by withholding a vote, especially not during the general election. If I didn't care about Palestine, why the fuck would I open myself up for harassment to let y'all know that voting abstention doesn't have the effect you want it to? It would be so much easier to let you keep tilting at windmills, riding high on the fantasy that disengagement divorces you from complicity.

Unfortunately for all of us, I actually want more leftist voters engaged in national, state, and local-level civic decision-making, so the Democratic party doesn't win without you. This isn't 4D chess. They pander to the people who reliably show up. That's all.

[that-guest-named-pie]

I love the isat Twitter shitposts so much, how did you make them? I assume it's one of those fake Twitter image makers? Unless you went and made accounts and then bought verification just for the bit? Which if so good commitment cuz damn that sounds expensive

I’ma be so honest I don’t even have an actual Twitter account. So I didn’t even know you could but verification on there thats wild to me.

As for what I use! I use Tweetgen! It’s still in Beta but it’s very easy to use imo. It’s also compatible on Moble and PC.

[wekasuwi]

Knock Knock Apex Fandom,

Hello Apex people, is anybody home? I made something for you. I know a lot of you guys love these characters as much as I do so I just had to make this. I've been kinda making a series where I rank video game boyfriends and girlfriends, and turns out I used to be obsessed with this game back in the day, so it's safe to say that I fully fuckin' committed here.

This is essentially headcanon hell. I make headcanon videos on Youtube and call it content. This game sort of fell off in recent years, so I'm very happy to contribute to the cause a little bit. So it's done, we cooked it fully, and so I'd love to present to you my latest video in the saga of shitposting I like to call work.

Thank you for your support thus far, let me know what you want me to make next! 💜

[drtanner]

Further to what I said here re: people treating Tumblr like it's Twitter and never reblogging anything anymore because they just click "like" as if it's going to do anything and keep scrolling, I'm starting to think that that's got a lot to do with why Tumblr has become so much more overtly political over the years. It was always vaguely progressive due to the large queer population on the site, but it's become far moreso in more recent times and I've a suspicion that it might be because political posts are the only ones that travel at this stage.

No one reblogs art, no one reblogs writing. They just click "like" and keep scrolling because that's how it works on Twitter. If you're trying to post art or writing on here, you get kicked in the teeth for it just about every time because likes don't fucking do anything except let you know that someone saw your work but wasn't impressed enough by it to want to show anybody else. Political posts, though? People reblog those, because they're Important Information™ and you're doing a public service by passing it along.

(A good shitpost will get traction for similar but opposite reasons; if it's funny enough, people will want to inflict it on the community.)

So now the site is mostly politics and wannabe funnymen, and there's vanishingly little of the art or writing that made it a good place to be back in the day. When I went back and deleted all of my own art and writing after Tumblr announced its Midjourney deal, going back to that pre-2018 era and seeing how much more even the ratio of likes to reblogs used to be and how many asks people used to send and how much further my work used to travel was like a gutpunch. I've lost nothing by committing not to post art or writing here anymore.

You can get mad about being expected to spend a shred of your time and energy to help the people who make the things you enjoy reach new audiences and feel rewarded for making those things if you really want to, certainly, but there'd be a lot more for you to enjoy on here if you'd pull your fucking finger out and make an effort every once in a while.

If you'd seen how good it used to be here, you'd be chomping at the fucking bit to have it be that way again.

[saccharine-dean]

**Wincest fans DNI, because apparently I have to say that now.**

Upon discussing the rumor that Jensen Ackles was going to play Batman at... some point, my friend and I decided to cast the people of Gotham as according to the vibes we get from the SPN cast, both in and outside of their plots on the show. Here are our final thoughts:

- Just getting it out of the way, we have no idea where Misha goes. He's too powerful for anything we could think of. The idea of him playing Catwoman just so he would have to play Jensen's love interest (again. cough) was tossed around but never came to fruition.

- Jensen is Batman, obviously.

- Jared is the Joker. I will not elaborate. (Jared stans please don't k- [gunshots])

- Mark Sheppard is Penguin. We couldn't figure out why, but the vibes of Penguin well matched those of both Mark and Crowley.

- Mark Pellegrino is Scarecrow. Ngl I am afraid of this man. But I think he could do this.

- Richard Speight Jr. plays the Riddler. I do not have to explain this. The man has whimsy and riddling written all over his face

- Alexander Calvert plays Dick, but he also plays Jason, but he also plays Tim, but he also plays Damien. Whenever there is a wet pathetic Robin boy, he is played by Alex. If the Robin in question is shown as a child (e.g. A scene showing Dick's parents' deaths) he will still be played by Alex, but he gets sized down in post. NOTE - He is never edited to look younger, just smaller.

- Julien Richings plays Alfred. He will be good at portraying the handling of Jensen/Bruce's petulant bat-doings. I'm sure of it.

- Ruth Connell is Harley Quinn, and Emily Swallow is Poison Ivy. Doing our part for sapphics everywhere Idk

- We couldn't decide on a character for Rob Benedict, but he has to be in there somewhere. My personal suggestion was that he plays every background character. Every single one. There's a no-name guy running a hot dog stand? Rob. An old woman getting mugged? Rob. The angry ski-mask-wearing man mugging her? Also Rob. This man is a spectacle to me and I want to do his image justice.

- We also couldn't find characters for Felicia Day or Alona Tal, but similarly, they do have to be there. Originally they were going to be HQ/PI, but we gave HQ to Ruth, because, like.. It's Ruth

- Last but not least, if Misha won't be playing Catwoman, she'll be played by Lauren Cohan.

This absolute shitpost is so dear to me and it's only inevitable that one day I'll finally crack and draw it. If you made it this far.. I don't know. Your commitment to the bit is appreciated just as much as our own, I suppose

[nautilusopus]

christ okay since i'm apparently required to make a goddamn statement about this now since i, a personal shitpost blog, made one 20 note post about this back in november and am therefore both the expert on this subject and also she for sure definitely for realsies followed me on tumblr:

that it's bad when someone is harassed and commits suicide and that the internet loves an easy Justified™ target and that it was clear she was apparently mentally unwell for years leading up to this and that this was unfortunately probably preventable with just a bit of intervention, and that it's bad when someone that has an obligation towards the safety of the animals in her care and her child fails repeatedly in that obligation, much less the other obligation of educating the public about these animals with accurate information rather than just the stuff that generates the most views or is convenient for her, are two facts that coexist super easily. they are not in tension with one another. there is no cognitive dissonance here. harassing people is bad and illegal and cruel. so is keeping animals in abhorrent conditions and buying exotics from poachers before they're weaned. you can dislike both it's super easy, not to sound like a spineless centrist but you don't need to fucking overcorrect.

also pointing out that her rescue is a bad rescue is not harassment it's a statement of fact sorry i changed my mind i'm not leaving this in the tags. y'all need to chill. in terms of the documentation, this was not someone compiling evidence against an uwu smol bean listing every time someone said a Problematic Thing on social media, this was people tracking the records and activities of a legally-recognised business that specifically involves animal welfare (with some very expensive and in some cases very dead animals) that regularly saw thousands of dollars go through it every month. hell, the documentation wasn't even required in a lot of cases because the dangerous bad behaviour was in the videos themselves, uncritically posted and uncritically shared and adored, but plain as day to anyone familiar with these matters. that someone tracked the business expenses and dead animals was honestly just dotting the Is and crossing the Ts. you do not need to dig to see this was a bad rescue and anyone demanding proof should just watch the videos themselves, no extracurricular googling required.

it sucks that she took her own life. that's awful. obviously i don't know her personally but that's always sad when that happens and i don't wish it on anyone. but

1. this was absolutely not the only contributing factor, if you're in a hoarding situation you're already not doing great to begin with and that was not anything that the harassment caused, this whole thing was fucked from day one and it was clear she was deeply unwell for a while, you don't start hoarding animals because you're otherwise mentally healthy, and

2. when you present yourself as an organisation and your organisation has a specific goal, it is then possible to evaluate whether or not you are succeeding, and demonstrably, she was not.

absolutely no one is obligated to retroactively delete shit talking about the actual real crimes that happened. i will not be removing the post, as everything in it was a statement of fact (especially the shit about housing cats and dogs and children with exotics being bad, that's like 101 level bad animal rescue).

direct harassment is one thing (something her supporters are otherwise okay with i'm noticing because, like i said, the internet loves an easy Justified™ target and these people are immune to irony), but if she was not able to handle people calmly and factually pointing out she was running a bad rescue (and, in some cases, breaking the law), that is not on strangers on the internet to simply hold their silence on on the off chance she might see it and it would upset her or cause her to spiral. people are not obligated to treat any business this way, no matter how mentally ill the owner or how cute the product.

now piss off, holy shit this is a bird blog i don't even go here

[silenceofthewave]

[A SOUNDWAVE ROLEPLAY BLOG]

New Intro Under Construction!

Old intro post is available under the cut, but be aware that major changes have happened and this is outdated!

– This is a multi-verse roleplay and ask blog.

– Soundwave's character is based on TFP, but heavily influenced by personal interpretation and headcanons.

– Feel free to DM me! I am open to DM RPs as well as discussion! I'm here to make friends and have a good time :)

– Author is 24 years old, and does not shy away from NSFW topics. This includes smut, but also extends to violence, robogore, and the like. I understand I interact with minors, and I am always very careful to ensure they are not exposed to anything explicit. If you are interested in explicit RP, it MUST be kept to DMs for this purpose. I also need assurance that you Are above 18+ in order to engage in this way.

– Due to the multiverse nature of the blog, this is also multi-ship! I am willing to consider anyone who has good chemistry with Soundwave, but my otps are MegaSound, SoundOP, StarSound and WaveWave.

[RULES]

– Please put as much effort as I do into our RPs. It's frustrating writing out a big reply only to get a paragraph back. (This ofc does not apply to shitposting.)

– Minors are free to interact, but please keep in mind that I am particular and reserve the right to stop a RP if its veering into territory I'm not comfortable with. (as are you!! and this applies to all RPs)

– Please reach out to me before starting a big thread, and please keep in contact throughout so we can stay on the same page.

– OCs are welcome!

– Please send asks! Soundwave loves them. But, please do not flood my ask box. I assure you, I've seen it, and it will be answered.

– If you want to start an RP through an ask, please make sure we are mutuals. My notifications get flooded very easily and I am currently trying to work out a management system for them.

– To piggyback off that, if I missed a response from you please either Tag me in the comments of the thread, OR send me a DM with the link to your response. Like I said, my notifications are a MESS, and I know it's very likely for me to miss something.

– Since this has been a problem before, please please please don't purposefully flood my notifications. While I am Committed to the Bit, it's very overwhelming and buries replies. I appreciate the humor, but it's one of the few times I'll say something is unnecessary.

[UNIVERSES]

– 1024.14 Tau: The Chaos Verse

Lovingly called The Chaos Universe, this is where Soundwave gets to shitpost for fun and free. Soundwave has never known peace a day in its life in this universe. Soundwave speaks freely, using the typical "Soundwave: [sentence]" format.

Tagged as u 1024.14

Shipped with @/Lord-Starscream

- 1024.15 Tau: Revival

The Revival Universe currently focuses on the journey to bring Soundwave's cassettes back, utilizing Shockwave's cloning techniques. Angst and grief abound, Soundwave finds itself questioning everything thing it knows about itself. Soundwave has gone mute due to the grief of losing its beloved Cassettes, and instead uses others voices to speak. Still, it finds it has trouble voicing its true thoughts and feelings.

Tagged as u 1024.15

Eventually to be shipped with @/dailydoseoflogic

[HEADCANONS]

Soundwave thoroughly enjoys human music and art. It even has a hacked Spotify account and will listen to music while its flying, alone, or even share it with those closest to it.

Soundwave has managed to get itself connected to the internet, and will regularly do internet searches on things it is unfamiliar with. It also enjoys watching movies and videos.

Soundwave has a strong EM field, which it uses to hone its telepathy, and occasionally share emotions it cannot express.

Soundwave is not emotionless. It feels a lot, actually, but cannot express that.

It uses many emoticons to express what it's feeling, all with their own different meanings.

Soundwave's telepathy is touch based.

Before the war, Soundwave was a gladiator with Megatron. It honed its skills and life long friendship with the Decepticon leader in the pits of Kaon. It trusts Megatron with its life because of their shared experiences. Its loyalty to the Decepticon cause runs deeper than politics.

Soundwave loves its Cassettes. It will put itself in the line of fire to protect them, and will protect them even if it means certain death. In the universes where its Cassettes have gone offline, it's extremely vengeful and will stoop to murder to avenge its beloveds.

The Cassettes were built by Soundwave's own servos. A sliver of its spark splits off, and it only has a few days to build a spark chamber, the beginnings of a protoform and install an internal repair system. The process is extremely time and resource intensive, hence why it has not made new Cassettes during the war.

Further headcanons that appear on the blog are tagged as #soundwave lore

[TAGS]

#u 1024.14 - The Chaos Verse

#u 1024.15 - Revival

#Soundwave: <3 - usually used on neat artwork that i, and by extension soundwave, enjoys

#TheWaves - wavewave art, headcanons, general posting

#SoundAmongTheStars - StarSound art, headcanons, general posting

#Soundwave: >:( - usually used in RP to denote displeasure or anger

#Soundwave: Loves Its Cassettes - exactly what it sounds like, mostly artwork ft the Cassettes

#Soundwave: :( - Usually used in RP to denote some kind of sadness

#nightlygreeting - my sign off posts

#admin babbles - i enjoy yapping sometimes

[derived-centrosaur]

Y'all like Dungeons & Dragons? Here's some DnD stuff I done for our games

Let's start off with my best piece. The impetus behind making it was three things: 1) an adaptation of the MTG card Paleoloth into a creature with a more animalian physique rather than 'lumpy rubbery tree beast" that would better fit into our game setting 2) an attempt at dark and moody lighting and 3) a Steamed Hams joke!

This image looks good on desktop, but way too dark on mobile.

One locale invented by our Forever DM was a tundra populated by animals that had varying degrees of control over fire. The mammoth is more-or-less a normal mammoth albeit with a little fantasy/Skyrim flair in the form of 4 tusks. The FireFox was essentially an Arctic Fox that could wreathe itself in a flaming mantle as a defence response. And the Ember Rabbits ate a special fireweed that they could ferment and regurgitate as a sticky burning predator deterrent.

The unicorn was one of my earliest DnD images I attempted digitally. I clearly had no idea how to do backgrounds lol. The image beneath it is a reinterpretation of a warg. Less wolf, more hyena with a little big-cat, horse, and extinct critters mixed in. Sadly this WIP screenshot is all that remains of it as it was done on my old laptop who gave up the ghost not long after this was taken.

One of our campaigns took place amongst a continent of floating islands, and therefore involved flying pirates and skywhales! The skywhale on the left was intended to be a kind of 'White Whale' idea, but since the whales ate the trees that grew on the Sky Islands I added some manatee to the look (perhaps a bit too much, but oh well. Also I was playing around with the ink stipling tool, how well that worked is up to your interpretation). Which brings us to our first character, one that was played by Yours Truly. The setting involved sky pirates, so my two inspirations were Treasure Planet, and the chase of the Draconis at the end of Titanfall 2. The character is essentially if John Silver was a hobbit, had beef with the East India Company, and had his own BT-7274 (but medium sized because that's what the artificer statblock says it has to be...).

Full confession, I am not-good(TM) at drawing people OR machinery. So my workflow on that one consisted of collaging together a bunch of stuff from Google Images until I had enough to trace and fill in the little details. This is also true of all my human character images.

The top two here are a Beastmaster Ranger and her Owlbear from our Icewind Dale campaign. I never got around to digitally painting the Owlbear, so all I have is a photo of the sketch paper (which is now long gone). The lower left is a minotaur gladiator character from an Arabian Nights inspired campaign. And the lower right is basically a shitpost. Another player described their character as Ben Franklin as a paladin who uses a whip, and then dropped a hard as hell line. I had to commit it to paper (well, the digital equivalent)

[feralkwe]

[insert witty greeing here]

i've had a startling number of new follows (thanks, @thefreelanceangel lmao i'm still sweating over here), so hi! i'm b! just b will suffice, thanks! i've been here since around 2008 and i'll probably die on this hellsite. don't bother rolling me out the door, i'm where i want to be. if you see someone using feralkwe elsewhere, it's probably me. for handy reference, i am also on ao3 and bsky with this handle.

this is hardly a dedicated blog, but i've been in a ffxiv hole for some time now, and don't see myself surfacing from that any time soon. pretty sure that is why most of you are here now.

i'm a filthy ascian-shipper in my villainfucker era. my wol, kit hareington, has an original primal only tank stance, and that is gonna be the bulk of what you find here. i also spent around 15 years in the dragon age fandom, and am not an 'anders apologist' so much as i am a 'he was right' girlie. i love complex, complicated, difficult characters. my love and/or hatred of them tends to stem from this, and if i have a strong feeling about them, it's probably because i find them well-written. i am not hydaelyn/venat friendly. it's not headcanon. it's not a bit. this is how i have interpreted and view the lore and the canon, and how my wol reacts to the story as i play it. i have an entire 'elidibus and zodiark are saviors actually' ted talk at the ready.

that's my 'gun shots to bring the rent down' paragraph.

i'm not going to give a laundry list of information to remember. you'll have to trust that if i speak about something it is informed by my lived experiences and intersectional identity. the exception is that i am aggressively a turtle island ndn, and kind of angry all the time right now as a result. that said, i'm an open book, my askholebox is always open (no anon tho--seriously shut anon off, your life gets better), and i love to chatter and get to know people!

i do not follow a lot of people back, and am slow to do so when i do. i also sometimes rotate who i do follow depending on what my brain can handle. it's not personal, and i still try to interact with people outside of that. i'm not really a 'mutuals only' kind of person. i am also not afraid to block, and will do so for any variety of reasons. i welcome you to do the same with me if it brings you comfort and makes your tumblr experience better. i love getting asks and being tagged in things! if i don't reply, it's probably because i got busy or distracted and try to keep up with it.

i'm a long-time fic writer, a new gposer, amateur shitposter, and love sharing and getting excited with people about what they create and get joy out of. many of my fics are listed in my pinned post. i am also committed to being the enthusiastic supporter fandom person i want to see in the world. i just need more joy in my life right now.

hardly exhaustive, but here are some tags to block or follow if you are so inclined:

b does life -- what it says on the tin and that's jenga -- my anders-specific tag as i do not and will not post in general dragon age tags of any sort. b plays ffxiv -- also what it says on the tin. kit hareington -- that's my wol. b writes fic -- another 'on the tin' tag. kitlidibus -- this one's newish but if you'd like to avoid seeing my shipping nonsense, there you go. block away. b's gpose shenaniganery -- i'm new to crimes and am flailing around trying not to make body horror with brio. i swear i am gonna make a bloopers folder to make all new gposers feel better.

if you want my attention, just talk to me directly. that's all i want, and what i try to do. i'm imperfect. so are you. i hope we can build from there. we're all playing in sandboxes and making dolls kiss because it helps get through the horrors(tm).

still here? cool! come by and say hi! i'd love to chatter!

[officialtrashbin]

Ok ok ok ok ok wrap-up thoughts on the season now that the finale is out:

First of all, DEATHBIT DEATHBIT DEATHBIT

2) ok the subplot with Rogue and Magneto actually grew on me. Like, she’s rejected him ultimately but they still mattered to each other and they still do, it’s just not romantic from her side anymore. I can’t blame magneto for not getting over her rejection I’d never be able to take the psychic damage of losing Rogue

also yeah the age gap was a little weird but I’m living for the drama and the potential for their platonic friendship. I want to make a comment about how their stint is an example of unidentified trauma becoming trauma bonding but then I have to like…write it.

3) I actually think Roberto and Jubilee were super cute and have elected to give their storylines a pass. Like they’re just kids coming into adulthood and have found comfort in each other, that’s good enough for me for now. (Though I’d like to see more of comic-accurate Sunspot being adapted but I digress. It’s only been 1 season.)

Also I think Sunspot awkwardly hanging around the Xmen slowly coming to terms with his speedran adoption is the funniest basis for an arc and have no further comments. Might write a fic later on his Struggles.

4) KURT JOINING THE MOTHERFUCKIN SQUAD BABYYYY and literally just everything about him. Being so supportive of Rogue and holding her and encouraging Gambit and just 😭😭😭😭

5) PHOENIX JEAN PHOENIX JEAN I LOVED JEAN

6) cyclops was one of my least favs in the original, this show put so much respect back on his name. I actually adore him now—plus the scenes with him doting on his grown ass man child is hysterical. Need more of it. I need this guy telling people this Hulk Hogan of a unit is his lil boy.

If Nathan isn’t seen later at a baseball game with Scott in a Summer 01 jersey and the cyborg arm badly painted over I’m committing crimes.

7) I think Storm needed way more screen time. I know there were scenes with her written out due to budget issues (and also them skipping her goodbye to Gambit made me annoyed) but like. The fact that her centric arc was put across two episodes shared with other episodes was irritating.

7.5) In this same vein I missed Bishop, I got so attached!!!! but here’s to hoping he’s kicking ass again in s2!

8) the rate in which I fell in love with these characters all over again is insane. Like harder than the original show in a fraction of the time.

9) Rogue did nothing wrong. 😭

10) Magneto definitely wasn’t right, but it’s interesting to witness how they justified his view point with Genosha and Bastion, and the ripple effect it had on people who didn’t even agree with him in the first place.

11) Cherik lmfao they were SO gay. I’m all for affectionate besties and dudes being shown as having close platonic bonds but this was Very Affectionate Besties with Seductive Grin Bedroom Eyes Charles Every Two Sentences.

12) honestly want a version of this show though where Charles stayed gone. I actually like him! I just think not having him around to help guide everyone made things so much spicier. Magneto was StrugglingTM for Real

13) Gambit’s death was so good, but I definitely figured he’d be coming back somehow because there was no way they were offing him thinking Rogue didn’t choose him.

14) speaking of, I was mostly joking in my shitposts about Death Gambit cause I had my money on a possible Sentinel Gambit with Bastion’s introduction, but the moment they went to Egypt I started clawing up all my old shit posts.

15) ROGUE DID NOTHING WRONG (lots of wrong but you know what? I love her. She can commit wrongs again.)

16) Beast was so good but I also low key wish he had a bit more screen time. His bitterness after Genosha was short-lived, I wish it had been explored more, like Charles talking it out of him or something and reminding him about their goals or…something.

17) Bastion was awesome no notes, hope he comes back as a horseman for the flex

18) hot Magneto no notes

19) hot Apocalypse no notes

20) crop top Gambit no notes

21) “His name was Gambit! Remember it!” Rogue was so beast in this season, it was cathartic watching her beat the shit out of Bastion. Her and Sunspot honestly make for a cool combat duo and I want to see them interact more.

22) DEATH GAMBIT AAAAAAHHHHHG

23) ey yo hold up does this mean Leech and the Morlochs and the perished Genosha mutants are permanently dead??? 💀

24) Logan and Morph were definitely something this season and I adored it, I adored Morph especially. Like Morph really said I Love You even if it was as Jean, I take what I can get

26) Magneto ripping Wolverine’s skeleton out like homie wouldn’t try to kill him with a wooden chair if given the opportunity. If anything now Logan has 0 weaknesses and a personal vendetta he can act upon. Rest in pieces Erik.

27) A goddess, a gravely injured Canadian, and a metaphor for gender identity walk into a bar and all 3 say “ouch” (bad joke. You’re welcome. Don’t worry guys, Storm is there so their arc will be wrapped up in about 12 minutes. Sorry can you tell I’m still mildly salty about her lack of screen time)

28) Rogue launching Cap’s shield is 11/10. Do it again do it again (woulda been top tier humor if the end credits showed him still looking for it frantically as the asteroid got closer)

Mostly that’s all I got. I have various other thoughts including how fucking HYPE seeing my fav duo Cloak and Dagger made me, but these were the key personal takeaways.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

the new theme is so pretty!!! moving on from nagi I see

anyways are you okay? I started following you for your writing obviously but your random thoughts and shitposts are always fun and enjoyable for me personally

you've probably heard it a million times but don't worry if you can't find the motivation or mood to write; everyone loses steam eventually or once in a while! I just hope that you can feel better (both physically and mentally) soon

AHSHSH thank you!! i will always love nagi but he is taking the backseat for a while 🥹 i finally got into hsr after MANY months of my friends trying to get me into it and i’ve really been enjoying it!! there’s also sooo many pretty characters and because of the nature of the universe (aka it’s infinite) there’s a lot that can be done writing-wise even if you don’t go full au which is nice because i have missed that kind of writing

thank you for checking in!! hmm i think as of late i have been struggling to have ideas and to write in general…especially because personally i actually heavily dislike writing in modern settings so having to consistently do that was taking a toll i think 😭 given the constraints of what i write + who i write about + who my audience is i feel like i ended up writing the same thing multiple times and it kind of made me feel like i was stuck in a sense 🤔 i much prefer writing longer sadder fics (hence why most of my works pre-bllk are like 100-200k words long and tagged with major character death and such) so the constant fluffy one shot grind really got to me KDJDJSJS anyways i have a. Not Insignificant. amount of requests in my inbox but i really may need to reconsider if i have the constitution to write them especially given how long my fics end up being — even silly prompts nowadays end up being close to 10k words which isn’t a HUGE time commitment for me but it’s not nonexistent yk?? i do miss writing though i’m hoping maybe being in a new fandom will help me feel a bit more creative again but who knows…also being sick hasn’t helped 😔 i don’t really present as sick because i never get fevers so i just seem absurdly exhausted for no reason but given that smth is going around and i’ve slept for 16 hours the past few days and still felt tired i do think smth is up 😩

i really appreciate you checking in and being so sweet 🫶🏻 i’m glad you appreciate my random thoughts and shitposting LMAOO that’s most of the content around here nowadays i fear 😪 one day maybe i will come back…one day…

[tarmac-rat]

PER THE "NIGHT SKY" POST--

Hi there. My name is Seta LeCarpetron Flow, known shitposter for the hit 2020 video game Cyberpunk 2077 and generally-unwilling Tumblr funnyguy. If you've stumbled upon this post, congratulations! That means you've seen my shitpost about advertising in the night sky and decided to check out my blog, which eventually led you here. Here's a list of commonly asked questions I see about my shitpost that I thought I'd compile here for your enjoyment.

"Why did you do this?" -- this was a shitpost that escaped containment very quickly and with absolutely no warning.

"Never played the game, can you explain the joke to me?"-- In Night City, the game's setting, holographic advertisements are placed on the top of skyscrapers and scroll upwards for the citizens to look at. The response down below from "@/johnnysilverhandofficial" is a reference to the fact that in the game's canon, main character Johnny Silverhand commits an act of terrorism by blowing up the largest skyscraper in the city. It's a whole thing. The account tweeting, "@/NightCityWire", is the name of the YouTube show where devs of the game would give updates on its progress back when it was still being developed. 'Twitter for Holo' on the bottom is a reference to the fact that in the game, the characters use Holos to communication rather than cellphones.

"Why did you think this would be funny?"-- *'I don't know' noise*, I thought this was gonna hit like, 200 notes at most. The Cyberpunk fandom isn't that big.

"Is it based on something?"-- It's based on this exchange on Twitter that happened a couple of years ago, with a few copy edits. I usually credit inspirations and templates in my posts but again, did not think this post was going to blow up as much as it did.

"What even is the purpose of this blog?"-- CYPK2077 shitposting, generally. Occasionally writing, VP, whinging about lore, and complaining that I can't take photos on PC. The works.

"Are you a roleplay blog?"-- I have no fucking idea why people think this is a roleplay blog. This hardly qualifies as a roleplay shitpost. I don't roleplay. Stop telling people that I'm a roleplay blog in the tags, it's really goddamn annoying.

"Alright, so what's you're biggest issue, then?"-- My biggest issue is that people keep taking this post at face value without understanding the context. That's fine, I get it, the changes I made are not very noticeable and I probably edited it a bit too much, but I need to ensure people that this is a JOKE. It is not REAL. I cannot stress enough that this is a shitpost that got wildly out of hand and it's a little depressing that the state of the world is so whack that people look at this, go "yeah, that's real" and reblog it.

"Why are you making THIS post?"-- Because I've had to read thousands of tags on this post day in and day out lamenting the fall of society and our world's headlong rush towards capitalistic annihilation, and frankly, it kinda wears on me after a while. If I can get at least some person to look at this post and be like "Oh, okay, I get it now" before they reblog it at face value, then I'll consider this worth it in my eyes.

"You know this is kind of passive-aggressive, right?"-- yes, yes it is. But when you've had 27,000 people reblog the stupid shitpost you made in 20 minutes because you were bored at work and seen 95% of them take it out of context and/or make dumb assumptions about you based on it, you'd probably be a little Pass-Agro too.

Thank you for reading my FAQ on this blog's most popular shitpost. Never thought the day would come where I'd need to make this, but here we are.