#sick of everything that makes queue smile

[understeeringirl]

Everything we're not saying

summary: the pretending is starting to crack. after the villa trip, everything is a little too quiet, a little too careful. lando begins pulling away—not out of malice, but because he’s scared of how real everything is starting to feel. you don't understand why, only that something is shifting. a forgotten hangout, a joke that lands wrong, a modeling shoot that doesn’t go to plan, and a silence that lingers too long. the slow unravel begins here. warnings: emotional repression, offhand comments, missed plans, social media pressure, modeling industry stress, loneliness, subtle heartbreak pairing: lando norris x fem!reader word count: 2k series: wrong side of the camera - intro - chapter one - chapter two - chapter three - chapter four - chapter five - chapter six - chapter seven - chapter eight - chapter nine - epilogue

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You’re side by side on a couch for some lighthearted video. The kind where you’re supposed to be cute and charming and media-friendly.

The host beams. “You two are adorable. Clearly inseparable.”

You smile. “We try.”

Lando grins, but it’s sharp around the edges. “We see each other enough to get sick of it.”

The host laughs. So do the crew. You even laugh, because that’s your job. Laugh, smile, be unbothered.

But when you glance at him, his smile is already gone.

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There’s something about the silence that gets to you first.

It’s not obvious. Not loud. Just... off.

The messages take longer to come in. The calls are shorter. The jokes, when they land, don’t linger the way they used to. Something's pulling tight around your chest, a quiet unease you can't name. You tell yourself it's just your own overthinking. That nothing's changed.

But it has.

You feel it the most when he forgets about dinner.

It had been a casual plan—not even a plan, really. Just a "Let’s hang out after your shoot," said three days ago in a voice note you played back twice because you liked how warm he sounded. You hadn’t confirmed it again, because you never needed to. You and Lando didn’t confirm things. You just showed up.

So you do. You show up for him.

You order in from that Thai place he likes. Set out your favorite blanket on the couch. Queue up the movie you always joke about rewatching. Put your phone on loud.

Nothing.

You check Instagram. His story’s active — he’s at dinner. A tagged photo from Oscar’s account shows Lando laughing, head tipped back, wine glass in hand.

You weren’t invited.

Eventually, you text him.

you alive or did the sim rig finally kill you

He replies forty minutes later.

shit i’m so sorry. got roped into dinner w the team. didn’t realize the time

You stare at the message for a full minute.

He doesn’t offer to call. Doesn’t say he’ll make it up to you. Doesn’t even send a voice note, which is his usual version of guilt.

Just sorry. Just late.

Just not here.

You sit with that for a while. You think about texting back something easy. Something light, like no worries or all good. But it sticks in your throat.

You don’t say anything, but two nights later, you try again.

It’s late. You’re curled up in your hoodie, makeup off, phone in hand. You type it before you can second-guess yourself.

come over tomorrow? no content. just us.

He replies almost instantly.

yeah. can’t wait.

It makes you smile. Makes your chest feel like maybe you were wrong. Maybe it’s still okay.

You spend the next day waiting. You don’t put on real clothes, just stay in the sweatshirt he left at your place last month. You don’t scroll too far, just refresh your texts. You think about what you’ll say when he walks in the door.

He doesn’t.

The sky outside goes pink, then dark. The movie plays twice on the screen without anyone watching. Your phone stays quiet.

You fall asleep on the couch.

At 12:48 a.m., a buzz.

shit. lost track of time. sorry xx

You stare at the message. No voice note. No call. Just three careless words and two kisses.

You want to believe him. You really do.

But something about the way he says it makes it harder than usual.

It gets weirder after that.

He still comments on your posts. Still likes your stories. Still sends the occasional meme or TikTok that reminds him of you. But there's something behind it that feels automated. Careful. Like he's performing closeness instead of living in it.

You chalk it up to a busy schedule. A weird week. Maybe he’s just tired. Maybe you are too.

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It’s three days later when the next crack forms.

You’re not watching the stream. You’re shooting in Milan. You’re smiling for cameras and being zipped into your fifth outfit of the day when your phone buzzes with a screenshot in your group chat.

lando wtf

why would he say that?

You click the clip without thinking.

He’s mid-stream, grinning. Someone in chat must’ve asked about you — about your job.

He laughs, says, “Yeah, she’s got that influencer job where you tan and smile for cameras. Real exhausting.”

The chat explodes. Emojis, “LOL”s, clipped reactions.

You freeze in the makeup chair.

It was a joke. You know that. You know his voice well enough to hear the tease in it.

But it’s not the joke itself — it’s the distance in it. The way it feels like he’s already placing you on the outside of his world, holding you up for display.

By the time the clip makes it to Twitter, it’s everywhere.

Lando roasting his girlfriend 🤣🤣 Tbh he’s not wrong That relationship's got days numbered

You close the app.

You go back to set.

You don’t cry until after they call wrap.

That night, you lie in bed, eyes on the ceiling, wondering how something that felt so safe could start to feel so uncertain.

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The next time you see him is at a brand event. Cameras, champagne, fast smiles. You’re in heels you can barely stand in, posing for photos while pretending your heart’s not chewing its way through your ribs.

He stands beside you during the press wall photos. You feel the heat of him beside you — but not his touch. Not like before.

He doesn’t tuck a hand into your waist. Doesn’t whisper anything stupid in your ear to make you laugh.

He smiles for the cameras. That perfect, polished, nothing’s-wrong smile.

When the flash dies, you reach for his hand without thinking.

He adjusts his sunglasses instead.

You let your hand fall like it was never reaching at all.

He keeps glancing at his phone. You pretend not to notice.

Later that night, you’re sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, makeup off, legs crossed, Lando scrolling his phone beside you.

You look at him, softly.

“I liked this better when it was just ours,” you murmur. “Before the cameras.”

He doesn’t look up.

“Yeah, well,” he says, quiet but firm. “That’s the price of pretending.”

Your breath catches. You don’t know what you expected. Not that.

You nod. You don’t trust your voice enough to answer.

He turns off the light.

You lie there in the dark, back to back, close but never farther.

You don’t sleep.

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A few nights later, your phone rings. It’s Lando.

You debate not answering. You answer anyway.

"Hey," he says. His voice is soft. Tired.

"Hi."

A pause.

"Sorry about the other day. I should’ve called. I just—things have been mad."

"It’s okay," you say. Because what else can you say?

Another silence. Then: "I didn’t mean that comment on stream the way it sounded."

You want to say, Then why did you say it like that?

You want to ask if he meant it anyway.

Instead, you just hum. "I know. It’s fine."

But it’s not. And you think he hears that in your voice.

"I miss you," he says.

And you almost believe it.

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The next day, you’re on set for a shoot. A swimwear campaign—minimal coverage, maximum pressure. You’d asked him to come by weeks ago. Just to hang around. Be a familiar face.

He’d said yes. Smiled when he said it.

He doesn’t show.

You don’t hear anything. No text. No sorry. Not even a heart emoji.

The stylist asks you to smile more. The director keeps repositioning you like a doll. The sun’s hot on your skin, and all you can think about is how you never used to care who was watching—until now.

At one point, they ask for something “more playful.” You try. Toss your hair, tilt your chin, pretend you’re not one breath away from crying.

You pull it together, of course. You’re good at that. A pro. But you feel the cracks. The effort it takes to be what they need when you’re not even sure what you are to him anymore.

During a break, one of the brand reps laughs and says, "Where’s your other half? Thought this campaign was couple-coded."

You fake a smile. “He’s busy.”

They nod like they understand. You think they do.

That night, you post one of the pictures.

Caption: Still smiling.

He doesn’t like it.

But the internet does.

Within hours, the post is everywhere—Twitter, Instagram, reposted by fan accounts and fashion pages. You look polished. Confident. The kind of photo people mistake for happiness.

You read the comments anyway, because you’re masochistic like that.

She’s glowing lately. No wonder Lando’s been quiet. This isn’t what a girlfriend post looks like.

That last one sits funny in your chest. You don’t even know why. Maybe because it’s true. Maybe because it isn’t.

You don’t sleep much that night. You stare at the ceiling, thinking about how long you’ve been performing: for cameras, for campaigns, for other people’s definitions of what it means to be desirable. And lately—for him.

You think about how, at the start, pretending had felt almost like a secret you both shared. Now it feels like you’re the only one still pretending.

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The next morning is overcast and cold. You shoot in a studio this time, and everything is harsher under fluorescent lights.

The theme is “power.” Leather, boots, smoky eyeliner. It’s not your favorite.

One of the photographers asks if you can do the look “a little colder.” You say yes. You’re good at cold now.

You’re between takes when you hear two assistants whispering behind a rack of clothes. Your name, soft and sharp at once.

“She’s the one dating the F1 guy, right?” “I thought it was real at first, but she looks miserable lately.” “Can you blame him if he’s moved on? She’s kind of intense.”

You freeze.

You’re not even sure why it hits you so hard. You’ve heard worse. Been told worse. But the implication sticks—that you are too much. That he left. That you weren’t enough.

You finish the shoot. You smile in the photos. You nail the brief.

But when you get home, you cry in the shower and don't even know which part hurt the most.

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You stop reaching out first.

The space between texts stretches.

Your friends start asking if you’re okay. If he’s okay. You lie. Say yes. Pretend it's all still smooth, still under control. But the photos from the villa feel like a lifetime ago.

And that night comes back to you in pieces.

The blanket. His voice in the dark. The way he looked at you like he wanted to stay there forever. The way you let yourself believe he might.

You keep trying to forget.

He already has.

That night, you open your messages, record a voice note.

"Hey. Today was long. I, um… was thinking about the villa. And your dumb pancakes. Miss you. That’s all."

You almost delete it. You send it instead.

He plays it. You see the little icon shift.

He doesn’t reply.

You go to sleep that night with your phone on your chest. It doesn't light up.

You wake up and check it anyway.

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sooo... this is the chapter were it starts to unravel. but don't worry, things are still salvageable (or maybe not?) hope you like this one! let me know what you think about it

see you next lap,

-N 🏁

[abernafhy]

top winternathy moments in the book

1.

"What do you think?" said Cloke. "You think these people are running some kind of a scout troop down there? Are you kidding? These are real guys. Doing real shit."

For one horrible instant I thought that Francis was going to laugh aloud but somehow he managed to turn it into a theatrical battery of coughs, hiding his face behind his hand. With barely a glance Henry slapped him, hard, on the back.

2.

Henry and Francis were further out: Francis talking, gesticulating wildly in his white robe and Henry with his hands clasped behind his back, Satan listening patiently to the rantings of some desert prophet.

3.

"Well, I know what I'm going to do," said Francis. He stood up unsteadily and pulled with his forefinger at his collar. Startled, I looked at him, and he laughed at my surprise.

"I want to sleep," he said, with a melodramatic roll of his eye, "'dormir plutot queue vivre'!"

"'Dans un sommeil aussi doux que la mort...'" said Henry with a smile.

"Jesus, Henry, you know everything," said Francis, "you make me sick."

4.

"Tell him I'm in the bath."

"He's in the bath," I said.

"He is not in the bath," said Henry. "He is standing in the room with you. I can hear him."

5.

Francis started from his morose silence. "Are you leaving now?" he asked Julian anxiously. "Do you want me to drive you?"

This was a blatant attempt at escape. Henry's nostrils flared, not so much in anger as in a kind of exasperated amusement: he gave Francis a dirty look, but then Julian, who was gazing into the distance and quite unaware of the drama which hinged on his reply, shook his head.

[kisses4reid]

scare | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,, (part 4)

synopsis - you’re in a relationship with some one else and have a pregnancy scare, both your own reaction and spencer’s makes you realise that you’re not happy.

part synopsis - you return to work, and a sudden revelation changes everything.

genre - bau!reader x spencer, friends to lovers, r was with someone else, douchebag bf trope, pregnancy scare, angst & fluff, comfort, reader is female with female anatomy and feminine

warnings - pregnancy is the main theme, blood, menstrual cycle, crying, inaccuracies because i have never been pregnant/ever thought i could be pregnant, uneducated reference to abortion: 'stick something up there',

w/c - 2.1k

a/n - last part. im sorry for the long wait and the subpar writing, i lost motiviation for this series and wasnt as into the story as i was before. BUT! i kept going for you guys. thank you <3 if anyone catches my hamilton reference youre my best friend

You hadn’t shown up to work for the week, taking the precious sick leave you had been hoarding and spending it all on arguing and throwing things into cardboard boxes. Not your stuff, but Lloyd's. And Spencer had spent those days pulling at his hair, tapping his fingers on his desk, and watching the automatic glass doors of the bullpen open just to find somebody else.

To everyone else’s knowledge, you simply had a bad stomach bug, but to Spencer it was much more. His stress was just a ticking time bomb waiting to detonate if one more person asks him how you were. Because he didn’t know. Not only were you physically absent from Spencer’s life, but virtually as well. No texts, calls, online likes or tags. It made him think the of the worst possibilities.

That’s where he was now, sat at his desk, finger tapping, leg bouncing, eyes darting from glass doors to blank phone, before he grabbed his phone and started to Hotchner’s office. His steps echoed in the early morning office sepace, patting his sweaty hands down his pants. But he didn’t make it very far before he heard Garcia’s familiar squeal, and your own genuine giggle.

Six days had been the longest you went without seeing Spencer, let alone your entire group, since you got the job. But you couldn’t put such a burden on these people, especially not the one who had seen you break down in his own apartment. To you, this was something you needed to figure out slowly and alone. Alone. Thank god, you were single now.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, just a flu?” Garcia asked, slipping one of her arms into yours and walking you to your desk.

“Stomach bug.” You smiled, patting her hand and sitting down at your desk. You looked at all of your trinkets and photos, happy to see that you never actually put a couple photo on your desk, and happy to see a photo of your team all together instead.

Spencer spun on his heel and widened his eyes, a breath escaping him in relief.

“Y/n.”

You looked up and stared at the man, the bags under his eyes deepened and the creases between his brows appearing like scars.

“Spence, hey.” You smiled as Garcia took his hurried steps as her queue to leave.

“How are you-“

“He’s gone. Sorry you cut you off.” Your hands started fidgeting, you looked askance. Spencer’s eyes betrayed him in his shock, thankfully his lips didn’t betray him in his happiness.

“Oh. That’s great.” Spencer nodded and had to shake the sudden urge to grab your hands and squeeze them. He could feel the possibilities in his fingertips by the second, but he couldn’t lose sight of the bigger issue here. “Are you gonna work a case with us? Are you feeling… better?” He asked with full care in his warm brown eyes.

“Yeah, I’m better. I mean, I’m not great yet but I’m better. Still thinking about things.”

He nodded, but before he could ask anything more, the rest of the team emerged from the elevators.

“Eden Lim, missing for 9 hours after her mother left the front door open to let in fresh air. Power outage in the neighbourhood took out all the air conditionings. Neighbours are either elderly couples or other families.” JJ handed out manila folders and picked up the remote to the Tv screen, showing a photo of a sweet little girl with her mother in a slightly professional set up. Aaron nodded and started, “Wheels up in thirty, JJ organise a meeting with their sheriff and investigators.”

On the plane, you were surprised to say the least. You found out you were pregnant by a sudden sickness, and now, you felt fine. Even though you didn’t get plane sick often, you expected at least a little nausea or maybe a headache. But honestly? You felt fine. Maybe you were a superwoman, one of the rare lucky mothers that don’t get sick often.

That’s what starts to distract you, the thought of the future. You didn’t know anything about pregnancy, let alone parenting. The last time you babysat was for Emily’s cat. Your hands started sweating and you bit the inside of your lip to attempt a suppression of nerves, but you obviously weren’t slick enough.

Hotch sends a glance your way, “You okay, Y/n?”

You smile softly, “Yeah, just the plane is kinda waking up my stomach.”

He nodded, seemingly accepting of that answer, and you gave yourself a mental fist bump.

You try to refocus on the case, but another factor is making this specific one harder.

Eden.

The top name on your baby name list since you were 16, the one you sort of planned to use without much second thought. The one who belongs to a missing child.

A young man who had just lost his son stole Eden, took her to his house, and treated her well. He was a father who had suffered loss, and took from someone else in the same way so that he wasn’t alone in his feelings.

Something about that felt slightly relatable. If Lloyd knew how you were feeling, maybe he would understand the weight on your shoulders.

You walked with Spencer to your desk, the aura around you both feeling like it was going back to normal, just with another layer on top. The secret kept between you two, a bigger one than any of the others. You flicked your small, dark green scarf over your shoulder, the difference in temperature from the case hitting you harder than usual.

Spencer slipped his satchel over his shoulder and sent you a smile. You felt a spin in your stomach because of the sight, and looked down to hide your face discreetly. You heard a small clear of the throat and then Spencer’s voice,

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Every time the victims name was mentioned, you sniffled, you rubbed your arm, or took a harder breath. Why is that?”

You widened your eyes, nearly laughing at the question. You had no idea Spencer was paying that much attention to you. Honestly, you thought he was going out of his way to avoid you to lower the chances of the team getting suspicious.

“Oh, it’s just uh. Eden has been on my baby name list since I was a teenager.”

Spencer’s shoulders tensed slightly, and his mouth opened as he nodded. His heart broke a little more. And he realised this was the first time you two were having a conversation since the night you stayed at his apartment. Not only was it making it real for you, it was making it real for him. Although, he had already vowed to himself that he would help you out with anything you needed, he doubted his mental capacity to take care of a baby made from the women he loves and a man he despises.

You both started walking to the elevator, always the last two in the office before Hotch, and you subconsciously stayed close to him. A pang hit your lower stomach that you pushed down.

“How are you doing, physically and mentally?” Spencer pushed the button with the down arrow, and looked down at you. His hair was slightly ruffled, his tie askew, but his eyes were how they always were when they looked at you, full. Full of care, of adoration, of worry, of knowing. Full of… something that could ruin both of you if he made the wrong decisions.

You took a breath and had to tear your gaze off of his, “Well, like I said, I broke up with Lloyd. He didn’t want to be a father, and when I told him I didn’t know what to do with the… baby, he said… he said… he told me to ‘stick something up there’ if I couldn’t afford another way.”

Spencer felt a rush of rage wash over him, his cheeks reddening and his hands fidgeting harder by the second. How could he?

“Basically, the opposite of how you reacted,” you laughed but it didn’t last long.

“Y/n… why haven’t you told me about him before? I didn’t even know you had been talking to guys until you were already dating one of them. If you told me about him I could’ve… I don’t know.”

“Open my eyes?” You smile sadly, and nod. “If I told you about him, and about how he acted… it was kind of like complaining about a sapling to an oak tree. Complaining about a page to a library. Complaining about a dickhead to…” You shook your head, “I felt embarrassed. And, I want you to think highly of me. But I guess after all of this, I can’t really help it anymore.”

Spencer stopped you in front of the elevator and took your hands, he looked at you with concern, and a bit of anger.

“Y/n I don’t hate you, or think any lesser of you just because you’re… pregnant, or because you were with a bad guy. I think that, while it’s true I think Lloyd is a terrible guy and I don’t see a lot of logic in staying with him, it was your own decision. I’ll always respect that.” He glanced down to his hand holding yours and let go of it.

Your eyes widened, panic shot across your face.

“Y/n?” The elevator doors opened.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You turned and ran to the toilet, hearing Spencer’s steps behind yours a moment later. He called your name, asked you if you felt sick, and it made him feel guilty for making you stress in a time like this.

He hadn’t fully processed that you weren’t just his best friend, his love, but his pregnant best friend.

You pushed on the ladies bathroom door hard and darted for a toilet stall. There is no way I’m peeing my pants in front of Spencer Reid.

You closed the stall, and soon heard Spencer enter the bathroom with no hesitation to the fact it was a women’s room. “Do you need to hold your hair up?”

And even though the offer played with your heart, you quickly denied him, “No, Spencer, I’m not sick. I just needed to…”

You wiped, and suddenly you felt dizzy. Red.

Red?

“Blood…” you whispered to yourself. "Oh my... god."

“Blood!? Y/n, should you go to the hospital?” He stood closer to the door as his heart rate picked up.

You stood up, pulled up your pants and opened the door. Spencer nearly fell into you.

You screwed your eyebrows together in confusion, and all at once a million feelings hit you. Hatred, sadness, depression, heart break, hope, denial, acceptance… relief. You looked down, unable to look at Spencer as your heart quickened, and covered your mouth with your shaking hand.

“Spencer, I’m on my period.”

His big eyes searched yours, looking down and over your face and body and it was like watching him piece a puzzle together. “You’re not…”

You shook your head, and a wave of relief hit you all at once, tears hitting you like a tsunami, your arms wrapping around Spencer’s shoulders like unforgiving ropes. He stilled for a moment, before reciprocating the tight embrace, a breath of air leaving him in the contact. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripping at your work shirt causing wrinkles to appear between his fingers. His large palm warmed your back in soothing strokes before they laid tightly around your ribcage. Honestly, hugging you was a big thing he had been thinking about in your absense - they were always genuine.

You let go and smiled at Spencer widely, the first one you gave him genuinely in too long a time. Spencer placed a hand on your cheek and wiped a tear gently, smiling back at you.

“Oh, Spencer, I’m so… sorry.”

He stopped in his tracks and widened his eyes, “Why?”

“I made you worry for so long-“

“Hey, a false positive is not your fault. You had a less than 1 percent chance of getting one so it’s no wonder it didn’t cross your mind. My mind, as well.” His heart swelled as you two looked into each others eyes. Happy, relieved, suddenly aware of how close you two were to each other.

Spencer dropped his hand, and looked down with a cough. “I’m happy for you, Y/n.”

You nodded with a shy smile, and turned to look back at the toilet, “Well, I’m gonna… you know… take care of this and then… do you wanna get a drink? I need to... I need somewhere that's not my apartment to think about this.”

He blushed slightly, realising where he was, and picked up his satchel, “Yes, of course. Do you want to go to mine? We can pick up drinks on the way?”

"That would be amazing, thank you Spence." "Anything for you."

taglist - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld @theoraekenslover @c-losur3 @littlelearningbrat @khxna @laurakirsten0502 @cultish-corner @yokaimoon @flow33didontsmoke @reidswifeyyyyyy @kitsunetori @yasmin12312 @softestqueeen @adoresami @hazza3000 @lov3-audz @issy25 @pleasantwitchgarden @upuntil6am

[rgwriteshockey]

macklin taking care of you when you’re sick

sick days w/ macklin celebrini ->

summary: mack takes care of you when you're sick and dramatic

word count: 1.3k

a/n: thank you so much for requesting!! i hope you enjoy 😘

━━━━━━━━��━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

macklin was shocked when he came back from practice and you didn't greet him at the door like you normally did.

now she was buried under three blankets on the couch, looking like a very adorable, very sniffly burrito.

“babe,” she croaked, voice barely louder than a whisper, “i think i’m dying.”

macklin leaned over the back of the couch, grinning. “you’re not dying. you’ve got a cold.”

“a fuckass cold,” she corrected, closing her eyes dramatically. “i feel like my brain is trying to escape through my nose.”

he laughed, rounding the couch to sit beside her, one arm going around her shoulders gently. “i don’t think that’s how sinuses work.”

“it feels like it,” she mumbled, head dropping onto his chest.

he kissed the top of her head, careful not to catch whatever she had. though honestly, it was probably too late. he’d been around her nonstop the last couple days, especially when she started feeling bad yesterday morning. he hadn’t left her side since.

she sniffled again and let out a tiny cough, the kind that sounded like it came from somewhere deep and miserable.

“you need anything?” he asked, rubbing her back slowly. “tea? soup? another blanket?”

“maybe just my soul back,” she said, voice muffled against his hoodie.

“i’ll see if i can find it on amazon, i mean its prime day"

that made her smile. barely. but it was there.

macklin had already made a mental list of everything she needed. he was good at this kind of thing, even if she usually wasn’t the one needing help. he was used to training schedules and routines and keeping everything in check. this wasn’t so different, just swap the stick and puck for tissues and cough drops.

he got up after a few minutes, gently lowering her back onto the cushions and grabbing the remote. “netflix queue is loaded. i’ve got tea water going. and i’m making you grilled cheese, no arguments.”

she peeked one eye open. “how did i get so lucky?”

“you let me win at mario kart last week.”

“i did not—” she started coughing mid-denial and he shot her a look.

“no talking until you’ve had soup.”

she stuck her tongue out at him. weakly. he just shook his head, grinning, and disappeared into the kitchen.

making grilled cheese was one of the few things he could cook without almost burning the house down, and he took it seriously. golden brown, crispy edges, extra cheese. he added tomato soup to the mix, stirring it carefully while watching her reflection in the microwave door. she hadn’t moved much, still swaddled in her blanket cocoon, still looking tiny and tired.

when he brought the food over, she perked up a little, nose still red and eyes watery. he set the tray on the coffee table and tucked a few pillows behind her back.

“you’re gonna make an amazing hockey wife someday,” he teased, voice raspy but teasing.

“i better. i’m practicing early.”

they ate slowly, her curled into his side, dipping her sandwich in the soup and making satisfied little noises that made him feel proud. like he was actually helping.

once they were done, he set everything aside and helped her lie back down, then pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“temperature check,” he said, touching the back of his hand to her forehead. “still warm, but not burning.”

“good,” she murmured. “that means i can still cuddle.”

he laughed, sliding back down beside her and letting her tuck herself against him. “you’re like a space heater.”

“i’m a cute space heater,” she corrected sleepily.

“the cutest.”

she fell asleep soon after, her head on his shoulder, soft breaths brushing his neck. he didn’t move. didn’t dare. not even when his phone buzzed with messages from his teammates, asking where he was and if he was skipping practice today.

he typed back a quick “taking a sick day,” and left it at that.

she needed him more than the rink did today.

the rest of the day passed in a blur of reruns, naps, and constant hydration reminders. he got her to drink two full glasses of water, made her another cup of tea, and even convinced her to take a quick shower when she said she felt “like a gremlin.”

he sat outside the bathroom door the whole time, just in case she got dizzy. when she finally emerged—hair damp, face flushed, hoodie two sizes too big—he gave her a soft smile.

“you look a little more alive.”

“i feel like a damp towel.”

“a cute damp towel.”

she rolled her eyes but smiled, letting him guide her back to the couch.

as evening settled in, the sun dipping low behind the windows, she curled into his side again, a little less congested, a little less miserable. he’d swapped her used tissues for a new box, fluffed her favorite pillow, and brought out the fuzzy socks she loved but always forgot she owned.

“you’re too good at this,” she said quietly, halfway through another episode of some comfort show she’d watched a hundred times.

“good at what?”

“taking care of me.”

macklin shrugged, wrapping his arm tighter around her. “just repaying the favor. you’re always taking care of me.”

“yeah, but… i don’t know. i don’t usually let people see me like this.”

he looked down at her, her face sleepy but honest.

“like what?”

“vulnerable,” she admitted.

he thought about that for a second. then leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“i like every version of you,” he said simply. “even the one with tissue crumbs in her hair.”

she groaned and smacked his chest lightly, but he could tell she was smiling again.

“you’re lucky i’m too weak to fight back.”

“very lucky.”

they fell asleep like that, wrapped up in blankets and each other. and for the first time all day, she didn’t feel quite so sick anymore. not because the cold was gone—but because macklin was there. warm, steady, hers.

and honestly?

he wouldn’t have been anywhere else.

[vampyreelf]

I'm Gonna Kill You

A/N: My first time posting a fic in this brand new side blog, if you enjoy it, please consider reblogging it and if you want more you can follow me.

Summary: Randy is your best friend in the entire world, Billy doesn't enjoy the power he has over you and decides to do something about it.

Billy Loomis x Reader

Warnings: toxicity all around, a splash of daddy kink, filming without consent, a little bit of degradation, death (I mean it's Scream) but nothing gory, let me know if I missed anything else.

Want me to make a Tag List? Here!

GIF by @coppoladelrey.

You and Randy were born on the same day, your mothers went to High School together so the two of you were bound to become best friends. Your friendship with Randy is great, the two of you spend most of the time together and you barely ever fought. There is one massive problem in your life and you weren’t even aware of, Randy loves you, he loved you since you stood up for him in kindergarten but you were obvious to his love, Randy was happy to be just your friend but that doesn’t mean he would allow you to have a love life.

You trust Randy with your life, if he says that someone is not good for you, you listen no questions asked. Randy takes full advantage of the power he has on your life, a sick power 

play that you weren’t even aware of. If pressed on the issue, Randy would swear up and down that it is for your own good, but he knows the truth, he’s too scared to admit his true feelings but more than happy to cock block you without you being aware.

Being a virgin was one of your main concerns in your otherwise uneventful life, you had Randy as your best friend and a few acquiescences mainly Sidney, Tatum, Stu and Billy. You loved hanging out with them even if you weren’t as close, Stu made you laugh to the point of almost peeing your pants, Sidney and Tatum were extremely and the three of you went shopping at least once a fortnight. The only person you didn't spend time with was Billy, not because you didn't like him, quite the contrary he simply intimidated you too much to allow you to exchange pleasantries with him, his piercing chocolate brown eyes made you all warm and tingly inside. 

You never said anything to Sid and Tatum because Sid and Billy used to be a couple in Elementary School and Tatum was her best friend, Stu was too much of a jokester to take anything seriously and he would run to Billy and the two of them would probably laugh, not because they were cruel but simply because Stu would never take this seriously. Then there was Randy, the only person that knew everything about your life except this major crush on Billy Loomis but life goes on.

Casey Becker and her boyfriend were murdered and the whole town was on edge, and Randy was going on and on about horror films and you thought it was in poor taste, this isn’t a film! People are dead! So you gave him the bullshit excuse of getting your period and you basically qucicked him out of your house.

You decided to go to a coffee shop and just be alone for a change, you said hi to the barista gave her your order and after getting your drink you were sitting down by the window. You weren’t thinking about anything in particular but Billy Loomis came to the forefront of your mind, as he usually does. His eyes, his lips, his hair. As if it was on queue, Stu Macher spots you from across the road and ran towards the coffee shop.

“Stu, how are you?” You smiled seeing him, maybe that meant Billy was nearby? Stu didn't miss your eyes wondering, looking for Billy.

“I’m good, you know? Hey, would you like to hang out? Tatum is busy right now and you’re super cool, so…” Before you could he was getting your bag and helping you get up, you simply laughed and followed him, you truly enjoyed his company.

You’ve to Stu’s house a couple of times but only with Randy, maybe this was a good opportunity to actually be friends with Stu. He opened the door for you and allowed you to get in, he was helping you remove your jumper when you heard Billy’s voice.

“Where the fuck were you? Did you bring the…” Billy stopped in his tracks when he finally saw you, and Stu couldn’t stop grinning. Billy wanted to get alone with you for ages but Randy was always there, Stu really did him a solid.

“Oh man, I totally forgot I ran into her and totally slipped my mind. I’ll be right back, you don’t mind being here with Billy, right?” You looked at Billy who was already looking at you and you looked down and shook your head. “Okay, bye.” And just like that Stu was out of the house.

You still kept your gaze down, playing with your shirt. It was so hard to keep eye contact with Billy Loomis.

“Hey, we can watch something on the TV.” You simply followed Billy but still keeping your gaze down, Billy thought you were the hottest girl at school and now he has you all to himself, he really needed to thank Stu later. The two of you sat down and Billy decided to break the silence. “You don’t like me very much, do you doll?” You finally looked at him with a frown on your face and Billy was smirking. “There she is.” He whispered with a hint of a smile on his face, his thumb went to your chin and goosebumps rose all over your body, Billy wasn’t blind to the effect he had on you.

Billy wanted you since the two of you were freshmen, but Randy was always hanging around you like a leach, in Billy’s eyes. He wanted to kill Randy as his and Stu’s first victim but Billy wanted Randy to suffer after hearing the two of you talking. Randy let it slip rather loudly that you and him were still virgins and Billy thought Christmas came early. He wanted you for the longest time and finding out he was going to be the first man in your life, to touch you, to make you cum? His cock got incredibly hard just thinking about you moaning underneath him, riding him and eating you out like you were his last meal.

“I like you, Billy…it’s just that…” You took a deep breath, how could you explain your predicament?

“You don’t want to hurt Randy’s feelings?” Billy almost believed his own tone, it felt so sincere and honest, he almost wanted to laugh at the relief on your face.

“Yes, we’re not dating or anything.” You wanted especify, and Billy smiled. “But he’s my best friend, literally since day one. And I have no idea why he doesn’t like you very much.” You started playing with your nails and Billy raised your chin to look in your eyes, his piercing gaze was giving you burtterfiles in your stomach.

“We can take this slow, yeah? I want to do this right and take you out for dates and you be my girl, yeah?” Billy looked at you expectantly, and you nodded biting your lip. After that, he kissed you. He couldn’t believe that he finally got the girl of his dreams.

----------------------

It has been months since you and Billy started dating, and you couldn’t be happier even with the killings getting progressively worse. You had Billy to protect you, so things weren’t as scary. The only problem was Randy, he comes to your house unannounced and Billy has to hide and it’s always when the two of are about to fuck, it seemed that Randy had this radar to find out when you were about to lose your virginity and it was driving you and Billy insane. You were more than ready for this and Billy had major blue balls for months.

The two of you were now at school, talking in the hallway. Billy wanted nothing more than to take you to the nearest bathroom and fuck you in the stall but he knew that you deserved much better than a quick and cheap fuck, you were his dream girl.

“I asked my parents for the lake house this weekend and they allowed. I can pick you up right after school, is that okay?” You nodded and smiled, you couldn’t believe how romantic and thoughtful your boyfriend was. The two of you were very good in not having PDA at school but you were so excited that you kissed him and Billy was more than happy to oblige. 

His hands went to your waist and yours went straight to his hair, Billy’s hnads were about to land on your ass when the two of you heard his voice.

“Unbelievable.” Randy yelled and you stopped kissing Billy, you had a guilty look on your face but Billy was angry. “You’re with him? Mr. I am clearly a serial killer.” Billy was about to beat Randy up when you stopped him.

“Look, Randy. I am so sorry for not telling you before but saying this shit about Billy is not cool. If you can’t accept him, don’t talk to me again.” You grabbed Billy’s hand and walked away while Billy had the biggest grin on his face. Once the two of you were outside, he hugged you.

“Are you alright? I know how important Randy is to you, I don’t want to get in the middle of your friendship.” Billy was selling this so well, and you just smiled and shook your head.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever! And no, don’t ever say that, Randy will come around eventually. I don’t want this to stop our little getaway.” You were going to handle Randy later after you spent time with your boyfriend.

------------

Billy’s car stopped right in front of the house, it was so pretty and quiet you loved it. Billy took both of your suitcases and guided you to the front of the house. The door was opened and everything inside was very rustic, it was perfect and apparently Billy’s parents had people come and clean in preparation of your stay there, they were always so thoughtful. Billy put your suitcases on the floor and looked at you.

“So, do you want a tour of the house?” He smiled at you.

“Start with the bedroom.” You jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist and Billy did exactly that.

He opened the door and dropped you on the bed, even though you were a virgin Billy could tell that you liked it rough. Every bite that was a little too rough, you had to stop yourself from moaning and rubbing your thighs together, every whispered ‘good girl’ on your ear made you sigh and bite your lip and one small ‘my little slut’ made you moan.

“I’m gonna fuck you right now, baby. Is that what you want? I wanna hear you beg.” Billy started kissing your neck and biting it and nodded your head fervently. You wondered if people could die of horniness for a second. “Use your words, baby. Tell me what you want from me?” Billy was taking off his shirt and still kissing you.

“I want you to fuck me, daddy.” You put your hand over your mouth, he wasn’t supposed to know but Billy had the biggest grin on his face.

“Yeah? You want daddy to destroy your little pussy even though is your first time? Is that what you want?” Billy finally started removing your clothes, leaving you in just your bra and panties.

“Please, daddy. Fuck me, I need it please.” You didn't care about sounding needy, Billy was your boyfriend and you loved him and he loved you.

Billy’s cock was so hard and you could see how big it was even through his underwear, your mouth was watering at the sight.

“Does my needy little slut wants me to fuck her throat?” Billy removed his underwear and you could see his cock leaking with pre cum, it has been so long since he fucked anyone.

“Yes, please daddy.” You got on your knees and looked at him with the biggest innocent eyes he has ever seen, fuck Billy could cum right now just by looking at you.

“Open your mouth, baby.” You did exactly that, you licked the head of his cock tasting his pre cum and you slowly started to take him in your mouth. Billy was very patient and you took his cock so well, Billy out his head back and groaned loudly. He also made sure that the camera was at the right angle.

Billy’s hands went to your hair, you were hollowing your cheeks and also playing with his balls. He held your head in place and started to fuck your throat, the noises you were making were pornographic and Billy loved every second of it.

“Oh, fuck I’m gonna cum.” Billy removed his hands from your head but you kept sucking his cock. “Fuck, baby.” Billy came, thick ropes of cum down your throat and you swallowed it all. You were still on your knees and you opened your mouth you to show Billy that you swallowed it all. “Fuck, how did I get so lucky?” He helped you get up and kissed you passionately, he finally removed your bra and took one nipple in his mouth, now it was your turn to get your hands on his hair, Billy carefully laid you on the bed and removed your panties.

Billy opened your legs started sucking on your clit, he was relentless and again your handd went to his hair. You were moaning and panting, the feeling of his hot, wet tongue on your pussy is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Billy was enjoying very much seeing you fall apart with only his tongue.

Your moans started getting louder, and the grip on his hair got stronger. Billy’s tongue was working faster to bring your orgasm quicker, he also inserted a finger to slowly start stretching you out. He was was observing all of your reactions, how your legs were shaking and how your moans were louder by him finger fucking you.

“Billy, I think I’m gonna…” You knew your body very well, but this was different.

“Come on, baby. Cum for me, cum all over my face.” Billy sped up his ministrations on your clit and you pulled his hair and you came hard, your eyes were shut and pleasure that you never felt before ran all over your body. When you finally came to it, you felt under the bed wet, quite wet. When you looked over, you started panicking.

“Oh my God, Billy I’m so sorry. I have no idea why this happened?” Billy shushed you and kissed your forehead.

“No, baby. You just squirted and it was hot as fuck.” He kissed you and he laid on the bed again.

Billy pinched your nipples and you moaned into his mouth, his hands were all over your body and vice versa. Billy was about to burst, he was painfully hard again and he couldn’t wait to fuck you.

“Are you ready, baby?” Billy put his hand on your cheek and his eyes were looking into yours and you’ve never felt more connected with him before.

“More than ever, Billy.” 

“Okay, I’ll go slow. Let me know if it hurts, alright?” You nodded and Billy positioned his cock at your entrance, he was looking at it then at you.

You felt his thick and veiny cock on your pussy, Billy had to contain himself and not cum at that second. Your velvety walls milking him, Billy was groaning and moaning in your ear, inch by inch his cock was entering you. Billy was fully inside you now and stopped to compose himself, your pussy felt like heaven to him. You on the other hand was almost passing out from the overwhelming pleasure his cock was giving you and you wanted, no, needed more.

“Please move, Billy.” He obliged and started moving slowly, the last thing he wanted was to hirt you. He found a comfortable pace for him and you. “Harder, please.” You wrapped your legs around his waist and with that all of his self control was gone.

Billy started punding into your pussy with reckless abandon, your nails digging on his back the noises coming from felt like you were in a porno. 

“Do you like that, baby? Is that what you wanted my dirty little slut, huh?” His filthy words were driving you insane. You started clenching around him and Billy started laughing condescendly. “You like that, huh? You like being my little slut?” You only nodded, the pleasure wouldn’t allow you to speak, the noises were louder and louder. “Are you cock drunk already, baby? You can’t even speak right, can you? I want you to cum on my cock, baby.” Billy’s thumb went to your clit and started making hard and small circles, he wanted to see you falling apart.

“Billy, I’m gonna…” You didn't finish your sentence, and you came on his cock and Billy helped you ride out your orgasm. Billy started chasing his own orgasm, you were sensitive but the line between pleasure and pain were blurred and that resulted in more pleasure for you.

“You’re gonna take my cum, aren’t you baby? You’re gonna let me cum deep inside your pussy, imagine if I got you pregnant?” You clenched around him and Billy laughed. “You want everyone to know that you’re my little slut? Walking around with a big belly and huge tits full of milk?” Billy stopped and came with a groan, he was breathless. He kissed you and removed his cock out of you. He laid down and pulled you over to him, he started kissing the top of your head and caressing your arm.

“Did you enjoy that?” You asked and Billy could sense the vulnerability in your voice.

“That was the best thing that ever happened to me, you were perfect baby. I love you.” He kissed your forehead and you mumbled ‘I love you too’ and you fell asleep rather quickly. After making sure you weren’t going to wake up, Billy got up and stopped recording, he couldn’t wait to put his plan into action.

------------------

Randy was pissed, your mom told him that you went on a trip with Billy. I mean what were your parents thinking? Allowing you to be alone with that serial killer? But you were about to come back and Randy was going to do everything in his power to break the two of you up. You never dated anyone before, you couldn’t! You belonged to Randy and he was going to make sure of that, no matter what.

Randy got in his bedroom, he found a tape that was odd he didn't recognise it. He put it in the VHS anyway, and he recognised you immediately, on your knees for Billy Loomis, Randy was about to take the tape and show it to you how Billy is gross and you should break up with him, but he got a call.

“Hello, Randy.” The modulated voice said.

“Billy, you sick fuck. I’m gonna fucking destroy you, she’ll never look at you again.” Randy was screaming, he couldn’t wait to destroy your relationship, that way you would fall for Randy and realise no one but him is good enough for you.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that Randy.” The voice was tauting him and Randy was furious.

“And why is that?” Ghostface opened his closet and was right behind Randy.

“Dead men tell no tales.” Randy turned around but only in time to be stabbed in the neck, after that Ghostface grabbed the tape and left Randy’s house.

Billy was with you when you heard that Randy was killed by Ghostface, he comforted you and said that everything was going to be okay.

“I was angry at him the last time we saw each other, I’ll never forgive myself.” Billy shused you and said that it wasn’t your fault and you couldn’t have known.

Billy held your hand through the funeral and made sure you didn't fall apart, you were so lucky to have in your life. Billy was overjoyed, he had his girlfriend all to himself and he didn't have to hide or worry about the nerd that hanging over her, everything was right in the world.

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 12

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader warnings: language, minor political/bau issues mentioned/talked about, smut eluded to. We've come back to the chapters that jump through moments in time! This is also the time that you read this, then skim through the series and see if you can pick up on the foreshadowing cause next chapter is what it was leading up to lol. I'm going to crack down and fly through as many chapters in a row of this series while writing and queue them for once a week. LMK if that timeline seems okay or if it should be more frequent or less, I wanna continue that habit for new series!

Heather was seated at one of the window side tables at Peacock Alley inside the Waldorf, a coffee and a bloody mary in front of her while she looked through the menu. Her gaze drifted out the window, wondering if she was there too early, if you were running behind or if it was a combination of both. Just as she was about to check her phone for both the time and conformation, she spotted what she was sure was your car pulling up to the valet.

Sure enough, you slipped out of it, passing the keys and a wad of cash over to the worker with a sweet smile before tossing your bag onto your arm and making your way to the hotel entrance. Her head tilted in confusion but before she could really get lost in her thoughts you had rounded the corner into the lobby restaurant, sunglasses pushed back onto your head as you glanced around in search of her. A small smile took over your lips when you spotted her, hurrying over to the table.

“You’re early.” You greeted, placing your purse down on the windowsill as you slipped into your seat.

Heather shrugged, “she got clingy, I kicked her out before she could start begging for room service and the girlfriend treatment.”

You nearly snorted, shaking you head at the other woman, “I didn’t realize you were entertaining.”

“Rob’s out of town, both the kids are on campus, you were occupied so I was bored.” She replied, picking up her coffee for a sip when the waiter came over to start you on your own drinks and you figured you may as well match Heather.

“Thought your go to place was the Conrad.” You asked, settling in as your drinks were dropped off and you could take a couple of sips.

“It is. But she was brand new and I wanted to be cautious, figuring we were meeting here in the morning I made it convenient.” She took a sip of her coffee, a brow raised in your direction, “which is why I’m particularly curious as to why you were pulling up to the valet instead of coming from the elevator.”

“I came from home.”

“Did we not plan to meet here for as little hassle as possible? We could have just met at my place if your date fell through.”

“It didn’t fall through.” Your brow scrunched, not able to get an immediate reply from Heather as the waiter came over to take your orders. You opting for a quinoa power bowl while she went with the mushroom and asparagus omelet.

“Did you change hotels?” Heather asked as the waiter left the table.

“No.” You shook your head, “we were at her place.”

“Oh?” She asked with slightly wide eyes and you laughed.

“Emily’s sick of not sleeping in her own bed. And to be completely honest I was getting bored of hotel life too.” You glanced up to catch the look on her face and you rolled your eyes, “Heather, this isn’t like one of us is some money hungry twenty something who’s going to go psychotic when the other one won’t leave her husband for her. Not everything mimics your life experiences.”

“So you’re not getting all domesticated on me?” She asked with a smirk, “because I need that wild, spitfire woman for work.”

“No.” You nearly grimaced, “we’re still going out for fancy dinners and shit, the sex is just occurring in a different environment and with a plethora of more toys.”

“Mmm.” She replied over a sip of her bloody mary, “so whose place were you at last night?”

“Hers.”

“You stay over?”

“Yes.”

“Careful.” She chided.

“What?” You asked her, your nose scrunching in confusion and she simply chuckled.

“Never mind.” She took another sip of her coffee, “you know… I saw Jackie the other day.”

“Not a surprise considering your line of work.” You replied, hoping the sudden heat on your cheeks wasn’t as present as it felt. “How is she?”

“Had one hell of a hickey on her neck… said she finally got around to having some good fun a couple of weeks ago.”

“Good for her.” You bluffed.

“Huh.” Heather clicked her tongue.

“What?” You huffed, wanting to move onto the next subject.

“Were you too drunk or too horny to realize that it was my main driver who picked you up from the club?” She smirked over the rim of her glass, “and to think you didn’t even bother to call me.”

“Heather it was nearly five in the morning.” You replied dryly, “besides, you always have to be in control of everything, you get power hungry in group situations, dynamic never would have worked.”

“Oh…” there was a devilish grin on her lips as she leant back in her chair, “so tell me then… did they gang up on you or was poor Jackie your little play toy?”

“Please.” You laughed, your voice quieting, “you know that’s what she prefers.”

“Tell me more.” With a smirk, she leant in, her elbow on the table, chin propped up in her hand.

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, eyeing her up, “but I guess now would be the time to point out that hickey on your neck…”

“What?” Heather’s hand shot to her neck, gently prodding at the skin until she found the sensitive spot, “fucking brat. I told her no marks!”

“And that’s why you’ve got to make better choices.” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair, “I’m careful to not leave marks.”

“That’s because you don’t bite hard enough.” She nearly scowled, digging into her purse to pull out a compact and do the best coverage job she could in the meantime.

You were left laughing, the topic finally diminishing as food was swiftly delivered. Heather, having had enough of being prodded and teased slid the compact back into her purse and picked up her fork.

“How are we doing for next week’s assembly?”

“I’ve got Harris, Tart and Durant set up for speakers, Ashley’s been finishing shirts, banners, badges and stickers and Colton’s been going door to door every day this week.”

“Good.” She took a bite of food, “where are we with backing from Underwood?”

“Working on it. He’s been out of State so often it’s been hard enough to track him or Claire down even for a phone call. I’ll get there soon, I promise.”

“Good girl.”

**

While your dates continued around the city, it almost felt like you had more freedom when you weren’t trying to stay in or near a specific hotel. Dinner or drinks could be closer to your place or Emily’s, wandering the waterfront on the way back to her apartment. While things were a little more comfortable, there were still some unspoken rules that the two of you simply continued to follow.

Emily always made sure the payment was sent to you within an hour of a date ending, whether that be midnight or eight in the morning the next day. You kept your dates limited to weekends, both to keep things on a running schedule and to try and avoid crossing over with work. Staying the night wasn’t required, it never had been in the hotels, especially if one of you knew you had a busy week and wanted a day to prepare for it or decompress from the weekend. There was nothing in the contract about cuddles and sweet dreams, it was about sex, enough aftercare that everyone was alright and money. There were nights you were too wiped to move, falling asleep before Emily could even fully check in with you and there were other nights that once you’d caught your breath, you were dressed and out the door. Emily would admit she did enjoy spending the nights in your bed, but she still missed her own just as much and if she was willing to drive at the late hour, she was pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek and heading home to it.

Some mornings you’d wake up tangled in each other’s limbs and take the time for some lazy morning sex, which usually ended up leading straight into round two, three or more as you fully woke up. Other mornings you would wake up to the sound of the shower, Emily prodding your side what felt like seconds later with a to go coffee cup and you were on your way home straight away.

Coffee was where it ended, there was never breakfast, never brunch or dilly dallying as you talked about your plans for the rest of the weekend. It was a quick shower, a coffee in a cardboard cup and an ‘I’ll call you’ to set up your next date. While you had dinner or drinks most nights, they were had out, it was never homecooked, no dancing around each other in the kitchen while you put together a meal. Bottles of wine were often left forgotten on the coffee table as Emily made a home between your legs, bringing you to your peak over and over again until you were tugging her off you to return the favour.

Emily’s apartment was normally your setting, her toy collection happened to be more extensive than yours and it seemed like there was always something new to discover and play with. It also helped her keep a semblance of control in her mind, you may have been playing this game for months now, but she was still wrapping her brain around exactly how things worked. She was still new to it, learning the ropes as she went and she wanted to make sure she was doing her best. When she was in her own apartment, it was her surroundings, she knew every nook and cranny and felt more relaxed and able to take control.

The lines were still in place, even if there was a change of scenery.

**

Emily heard an all to familiar beeping interrupting her dreams and she rolled onto her side, scrunching her eyes briefly in an attempt to keep them shut and regain whatever sleep she still had left in her. You coffee always auto brewed and most mornings the two of you ignored it if you wanted to sleep in or have a morning session before parting ways. A chill ran through the room and she let out a small shiver, shifting to pull the covers tighter around herself and was surprised at just how easily she suddenly had the entire duvet in her hands.

Begrudgingly cracking her eyes open she looked around the room, it was still dark, sunrise being later and later as the city sunk fully into autumn. Rolling onto her back she was able to assess that you definitely weren’t in bed with her, the bathroom light was off but the fan was on, a likely sign you’d had a shower and started your day already. The second sign being that your pyjamas were strewn over one of the chairs across from the bed, your phone absent from the nightstand.

She knew that you were likely letting her sleep until you absolutely had to kick her out, but the exhausted part of her was really hoping maybe this was a quick thing and you’d come back to bed. She perked up when a light at the bottom of the stairs flicked on, her ears picking up the sound of your voice. Either someone was over or you were on the phone, but either way you sounded far less than pleased.

Letting out a soft sigh she pushed up to sitting, stretching out her body and rubbing at her eyes as she willed herself out of bed and into the cool morning air. She tiptoed quietly over to the door, if you did have a house guest this early, you likely didn’t need them knowing that you’d had overnight company. After listening for a couple of minutes she determined that you were definitely on the phone, there was barely any time for someone else to get a word in and whenever they did, downstairs was silent aside from the pacing of your heels or sound of coffee brewing. Emily crossed the room again, quickly getting redressed and collecting her things, quietly making her way down the staircase to the main floor, finding you with your back to her.

“Patterson I swear to god if you hang up on me— Yes! I already know that. He doesn’t need a parent or guardian if he’s of age. Did he ask you to call her? No. Exactly—What did I just say? Like hell you need to print him! You’re not just toeing the line you’re by far crossing it! Don’t think I know you just want him booked to get your name all over the press, I’ll have your fucking badge.” A slight pause while you pinched at the bridge of your nose, a voice chattering on the other side of the line, “no. Of course I don’t think you’re just going to toss him back out onto the street. Mr. Dalton is already on his way down there to make sure you don’t think about breaking any other rules or laws and believe me I’ll be making a trip down there myself to talk to your Captain.” Hanging up the phone you dropped it to the island, stopping to take a hefty swig of coffee, “fuck.”

You finally turned back to the island, dropping onto a stool and pulling your laptop toward you, movement out of the corner of your eye causing you to glance up, jolting slightly as you realized Emily was on the same floor as you.

“Shit, sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it.” She replied, smiling softly as she stepped into the room. You made a noise, gesturing toward the empty to go coffee mug beside the coffee pot and she took the hint, mixing it to her liking. “Anything I can help with?”

You nearly snorted, glancing up to her, “morally, ethically and legally? No.”

“Oh…kay…” She took a sip of the coffee to make sure it was right before popping the lid on and you let out a frustrated sigh.

“Jordan got picked up for a drunk and disorderly last night.”

“Jordan?”

“Heather’s son.” You grimaced.

“Ah.” She nodded, suddenly more than well aware the severity of the situation, “DUI?”

“Luckily he didn’t get that far. But this fucking prick Patterson… fucking white shield who thinks he’s hot shit…” you grumbled, “he pays paparazzi to follow around teenage and older kids of politicians, especially at bars or parties. Tips them off to whenever he knows security is escorting them, they get the pictures, he gets to swoop in and make a couple of bullshit arrests, they split the bank. He thinks its gonna be his way up the chain.”

“Sounds like a piece of shit.”

“He is.” You mumbled, “and now I get to spend the rest of the weekend putting out fires and trying to keep this out of the press and away from Heather. Lord knows she’ll only lose her shit and knowing Jordan he’ll turn something flammable into an explosion. I—” you were cut off by your phone ringing and you immediately picked it up, “Yeah? I don’t care that it’s only five in the morning, the car is coming to the back entrance and you are to get Jordan into it without a single soul seeing him. Drive him back home, make sure he’s in the guest house, I’ll call Rob.”

Emily picked up her coffee cup, tapping on the island to gather your brief attention, giving you a little wave thank you for the coffee and to let you know she was saying goodbye. All things considered the best option for her right now was to get out of your hair.

**

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Getting an early or overnight call for a case on a Saturday morning was already annoying as is, but this was linked to one of the cases they had been working on that week. Meaning the call was Penelope saying she’d found an out of state connection and everyone was to be at the jet in thirty. While Emily’s go bag was in the car, it only had enough outfits for a few days and the one she’d worn the night previous certainly wasn’t Section Chief appropriate.

“Take whatever you need.” You sleepily waved in the direction of your closet, flicking on the bedside lamp before rolling over and going back to sleep as she began to rummage through your clothes.

Emily made it to the jet just in the nick of time, dropping her bag and managing to grab a coffee and bottle of water before settling into an empty seat across from Tara. She could feel the other woman’s eyes on her, examining the outfit choice and she shifted in her seat, the shirt was definitely a little snug around her chest but it was the best option she could find quickly.

“That’s a nice colour.” Tara complimented, “looks really good on you.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

“It new?”

“No,” she let out a semi awkward laugh, scrambling to come up with some kind of fib, “kind of old, figured I’d start cleaning out my closet last night, grabbed the first thing I could.” She shuffled in her seat again, tugging the fabric away from her chest before leaning forward to grab a case file, “what’d Garcia find? Do we know what we’re walking into?”

“Second page.” Tara replied, the corner of her lips curving up into a smirk and Emily could feel her cheeks burning pink, feeling like she was back in high school hiding a secret from her mother.

**

You sped through the doorway to Heather’s office, placing a now lukewarm coffee down on her desk as the check in that you were there before briskly turning around and she barely looked up from her laptop.

“Sorry, traffic on the I-395 was a fucking mess. I’ve never seen so many accidents this early in the morning.”

“It’s getting icy out there.” She replied, her eyes still on the screen in front of her, “turned the heater on in your office, you’re welcome.”

“Thank you.” You replied with a huff, barely making it to the doorway before the wheels started turning in Heather’s brain and she eyes shot up.

“Hold up!” She called and you froze on the spot, turning back to face her, “you live uptown…”

“Yup…” you nodded, feeling the heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“And if you were coming from the Waldorf you would have taken Pennsylvania.”

“Yes again.” You nodded, nearly gulping. Heather surveyed you for a moment, her eyes narrowing as her lips twitched up into a grin.

“It’s Thursday…”

“You ever heard of wine Wednesday Heather? Zooz has an incredible happy hour and it’s walking distance from Em’s.”

“Hmm.” Her head titled, “must be a nice place.”

“I have work to do.” You began to turn away again, but she called out once more.

“Speaking of, pick a hotel for Sarasota this morning and Elise will book it.”

“I thought we were going to Laguna?”

“They changed locations, something about the right hall not being available.” She shrugged, “at least Florida’s an excuse for a shopping trip.”

“Huh…” your head titled as a grin broke out on your lips, “I could use a new swimsuit.”

“Could always go without one.” She smirked back and you rolled your eyes.

“Very professional.”

“We’ll have a private terrace.” She replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And here I thought I was picking the hotel.”

“You’ll pick something suitable; cost isn’t a concern.” She shrugged, “I’m not going to be slumming it in Florida for a week and not indulge.” Her eyes flicked up and down your body, “hell, why don’t you call Tony, take the afternoon to get some shopping done.”

“He’d love that.” You laughed as you thought it over.

“I’m sure he’s not the only one.” She replied, tilting the screen of her laptop back as her eyes fell back down to it once again, a smirk remaining on her lips.

**

Girl’s night at Garcia’s always meant a couple of cocktails and when Tara had offered to drive, having to be up early the next morning, everyone was on board. JJ was the first drop off, leaving Emily in the front seat with Tara navigating the streets of Washington.

“What is going on with you?” Tara asked, a small laugh leaving her lips as she glanced over at the other woman.

“What?”

“Your nerves are radiating off you and you keep shifting in your seat like a dog that hasn’t figured out if he’s going to the park or the vet.”

She laughed, “it’s nothing. I just went from not really recognizing the street to realizing I’ve got a friend who lives around here.”

Tara glanced at her watch, “it’s not that late, if you wanna make a pit stop or for me to drop you somewhere, I can do that.”

“No, no don’t worry about it.”

“Emily,” she prodded, “c’mon. I can keep a secret.”

“It’s nothing like that!” She swatted at her hand, “just haven’t seen her in a bit.”

“Call her or I’m pulling over the car.”

“I—what?” Her eyes darted up to the other woman who suddenly pulled into the right lane, “okay, okay!”

Your phone began to buzz on your desktop and you let out a soft sigh, thankful for the interruption as you pulled off your glasses, blinking your eyes a few times as you picked it up.

“Walton.”

“Hey, it’s Emily.”

“Oh, hey!” A smile crept onto your face, “what’s up?”

“I.. uh.. I was just in the neighbourhood, figured I’d see if you wanted to grab a drink?”

This sigh you let out this time was much wearier one that Emily could practically feel, “I would absolutely love to but I’m still at the office and likely will be for a few more ours.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Yup.” You exaggerated the word, popping the ‘p’, “bunch of extra tasks on hand this week and we’ve been spread pretty thin. I definitely can’t go anywhere until the boss does.”

“Shit.” She muttered and you reached across your desk for your agenda, flipping through a couple of pages.

“Looks like I can squeeze you in on Tuesday? Probably not ‘til ten at the earliest and I wouldn’t be able to stay.”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, the usual weekend is fine.”

“Weekend is all conference prep and we fly out Monday afternoon.”

“I would hate to add to your schedule, we can wait until you’re back.”

“It’s fine.” You laughed softly, “lord knows I could use the relief.”

“Alright.” She chuckled, “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“I’ll call once I’m finished up, let you know when I’m on my way.”

“Sounds good. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Emily dropped her phone with a soft sigh, sliding it back into her pocket, a sense of relief washing over her when Tara pulled back into the left lane and signalled to make the turn towards her original destination.

“I thought you hadn’t seen her in a while?”

“Huh?” Emily’s brow furrowed as she looked up at her.

“’The usual weekend is fine’?” Tara raised an eyebrow, “who have you been meeting up with every week?”

“No one.” She fibbed, sinking deeper into the seat of the car.

“Oh come on Emily.” She laughed, “doesn’t take much to realize you’ve been spending time doing something other than work. You actually don’t reply to non urgent work texts on the weekends anymore, better moods Monday mornings…”

“No profiling the profiler!” Emily protested, punching Tara’s arm, “I thought I was getting a nice ride home, not an interrogation.”

“Okay, okay.”

Tara held up a hand in surrender, shaking her head at the other woman as she pulled up in front of Emily’s building. She said a quick thank you and goodnight, pulling out her phone when she was waiting for the elevator. If you were working this late on the weekend the least she could do was send over some dessert as a pick me up.

__________________

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[starberry-cupcake]

I started reading and writing this recap, then I got sick, so now that I'm able I want to pick it back up before I forget where I even was

previously in nonita del 9:

this is the first part and chapter

this is the general tag, for those who stumble upon this in the wild and, for some reason, want to read all the rest

CHAPTER 2

nonita is talking about how she's actually one of potentially two people

and describes herself in the following terms

"skin the color of the egg carton, and eyes the color of the egg mixture, and hair the color of the burnt-out bottom of the pan...a thin, complicated face...nice white teeth in a smile that looked sad no matter how happy she was"

she thinks she's gorgeous

ok cyrus the lyctor with the nudes whose last name I don't remember and I was about to google when autocomplete scared me and I closed the tab

I'm not allowed to google things for these recaps, I should know better

anyway, gideon eyes

so is this harrow's body but gideon's soul while harrow's soul is in the river with the emperor???? or what's happening???

did gideon's soul get scrambled upon returning from the river somewhere???

if it's gideon's soul in harrow's body, it'd make sense with her thinking she's gorgeous and kissing the mirror tbqh

unfiltered gideon behavior

but the memories of the pool were harrow's??? because she remembered gideon's arms????

gideon's arms are very memorable, I've heard

which reminds me, where's gideon's body????

also, is this new personality who lives in a cumple gonna switch back to who it used to be or merge together?

is this happy-go-lucky attitude gonna disappear or combine?

I remember back when I didn't know anything about these books (and all I saw was the covers and knew that gideon and harrow were a ship), I thought nona was their child in like a distant future

I don't know why I thought that, I just filled in the gaps with that

those were simpler times

so nona is kinda vain about her looks, apparently??

I posted this before but, this was her at a queue when someone was hitting on her

she's nonchalant about people wanting to sleep with her and camilla says "sex things were right out. She said there were enough problems in the world"

I'd love a tshirt like this, actually

so am I to understand that gideon and harrow got blended somewhere in the river and reborn as a "born sexy yesterday" lovechild??

I don't know, man, I'm just gonna continue

pyrrha, palmolive and camilla are trying to teach nona things but also not teach her things, because they don't wanna skew the results on who she is

in case it comes back to her that she can wield a sword or do playdoh stuff with bones

what she can do, apparently, is pick up any language by watching people speak it

which, in a planet of refugees, comes up very frequently

palmolive (and me, also me) is like "where tf did this come from?????"

I mean, I guess either harrow or gideon could have that from before, since I don't think they were exposed to anything other than the one language, did they?

I can't remember??? I don't think gideon did??

or is it new???

she downloaded a star trek universal translator on the way down from the river, as a treat??

also, out of the two of them, if this is just one of them, I think harrow would be the one more mortified by everything that's going on during this time, just putting it out there

CHAPTER 3 (we have an apple tree rather than the tomb at the start of this one)

nona says she "doesn't just want to be good-looking and dumb", so she got herself a job

which says a lot about the value of productivity in self worth, even in situations of dire stress and danger, but I digress

if this is harrow, she's gonna hate all this so much

the body maybe is harrow's? because the school lady think's she's 14, and that gave me mercygirl vibes of saying she's less years every time she looked at her

and she wants to send nona to school

the lady also has suspicions of pyrrha being camilla's and nona's pimp, so pyrrha has to flirt with her to distract her from that line of thought

and says she'd be luckier being a pimp for augustine and alfred

so, nona insists on going to school and is allowed because palmolive is combeferre-coded and loves education

I mean, I agree, but also, at what cost, in this case?????

so, nona goes to school and befriends a bunch of kids who ask her for drugs but then relent and let her join their clique anyway

because she takes care of the teacher's dog, which always gives people points socially

kevin is really adorable btw we love kevin

one of the kids, the leader, is called hot sauce and I think she's been through a lot

like, more than the rest of the kids

one has like 5 fathers, but still

she's the only one not ready and willing to go attempting to kill necromancers, which the other kids want to do

nona can also read people's body language very well, to the point in which she can tell when people are lying, uncomfortable or hiding something

another thing that may or may not be from Before

anyway, nice kids, I'm sure nothing bad is gonna happen to any of them

right?

right????

we'll leave it there for now! next chapter starts with a seventh house skull so idk what we're in for at all, as long as not!dulcinea isn't back...

[daydreamtofiction]

The Feature XXVI // Benedict Cumberbatch x Reader

Series Overview | Previous Part | Next Part

Chapter Summary: (Female Reader) LDN -> LA

Chapter Word Count: 5.5K

Chapter Warnings: Strong language, adult and sexual themes. Readers must be 18+

Join the Tag List Here*

“You might want to put this on,” said Ben, pulling a surgical mask from the back pocket of his jeans and handing it to you.

You took it from him with a raised brow. “Is this so you don’t get recognised?” 

“That, and germs.” He slipped on his own mask, adjusting it to sit comfortably over his nose and mouth. “Press tours are draining enough without being sick on top of it.” 

You put on your mask and slid on a pair of sunglasses - brand new, more money than you’d usually be willing to spend on something so superfluous. But you’d been pressed for time, caught up in the excitement of last minute holiday shopping.

The driver was taking your bags from the boot of the car, placing them on the ground one by one. The early morning was bright and crisp, making you shiver as you stepped out, teeth clenching with every brush of cold air across your bare arms. You’d dressed for California; soft, comfy trousers, a little white baby tee, stupidly forgetting the unpredictable British weather that would come first.  

A man was waiting near the airport entrance, his short greying hair and casual clothes making him indistinguishable from any other person around him. But Ben seemed to know him, acknowledging him with a nod and a quick wave as he grabbed your luggage and began walking towards him.

You turned to the driver and gave a quick smile; your numerous awkward moments alone in the back of his car making you feel like you somewhat knew him now. He nodded at you in response, before closing the boot with a heavy thud and making his way back to the driver’s side door. 

The man with the greying hair walked you briskly through the airport. It was emptier than you’d expected; short queues, no crowds, the sound of muted footsteps and hushed murmurs filling the vast, open space. Your suitcase rolled smoothly over the tiled floor as you dragged it behind you, while Ben was somehow managing to haul everything else on his own; his suitcase, his backpack, your large carry-on slugged over his shoulder. You’d offered to take it from him, but he simply shook his head, grabbing it before you even had the chance to protest. 

You were guided through check-in and security, following Ben’s lead as he followed his escort’s. The smell hit you first; the overwhelming blend of expensive perfumes and colognes, burnt coffee, food wafting from restaurants and cafés. It was such a familiar scent, nostalgic, exciting, no matter how long it had been since your last flight.

People were slumped in stiff chairs, some curled up like they’d been waiting forever. The cry of a baby echoed somewhere in the distance, while a muffled, metallic voice spoke over the tannoy. You continued past it all, past the people with their neck pillows and coffee cups, duffel bags tucked between their knees, past the shoppers with their duty free bags and a group of young women in matching hen party t-shirts. Yet here you were, drifting along in a surreal, peaceful current, bypassing the chaos.

Eventually, you were brought to a quiet corner of the terminal where a small welcome desk stood in front of a sleek glass door, a subtle, shiny plaque on the wall beside it that read: The Windsor Suite. There was a man standing at the desk in a shirt and gold coloured tie, a name tag across the breast of his long black tailcoat. He was wearing a bowler hat, and it took everything in you not to laugh at the absurdity of it all as you watched him reach out his leather-gloved hand and take your boarding passes from Ben.

Your escort seemed to disappear, making himself scarce without a word, or maybe you were just too focused on the man in front of you to notice.  

“The Windsor Suite?” you whispered to Ben with a raised eyebrow. 

He nodded towards the doors as the man pulled them open for you, gesturing for you to go inside.

And you did, your mouth falling open in shock as you wandered further in. The place looked like a luxury hotel penthouse; polished wooden floors and buttery leather chairs, fresh flowers in tall metallic vases. Everything was soft, neutral, warmly lit and beautifully decorated. A long, open bar extended the length of one wall, another wall filled with books and a large mounted TV. There was artwork everywhere, plush sofas and armchairs in textures of velvet, leather and chenille, a discreet butler standing near a serving cart.

You pulled down your mask as you looked around in awe. “This is… Insane.” 

Ben set down your bags, taking off his own mask to reveal a slight smile. “How else are we supposed to wait for our flight?” he asked, clearly joking. 

You turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. “I usually just sit on the floor near a plug socket somewhere with an overpriced sandwich.”

He laughed, dropping into an armchair with a sigh. “Trust me, if I could still get away with doing that, I would.” 

“Oh, I’m not complaining.” You flopped into the armchair beside him, your body sinking into the soft cushions like a warm embrace. “Definitely not complaining.” 

He laughed again and checked his watch, before settling back into his chair and closing his eyes. 

You watched him for a moment before turning your attention to the rest of the room, eyeing the glossy sheen of the bar, the precisely placed books on the shelves and bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice. There was a large, frameless window, providing an uninterrupted view of the runway outside, a private jet waiting on the tarmac, baggage handlers lugging suitcases onto the conveyor of a commercial plane. 

If you weren’t so tired, you were certain you’d be exploring; walking the entire length of the suite and back, touching every surface, peering into cabinets and smelling the flowers. It was probably a good job you were exhausted, saving Ben the embarrassment of his ‘commoner’ girlfriend acting like she’d never seen a coffee table before.

“Would either of you like a glass of champagne?” the butler asked in a soft, posh voice.

You hadn’t even heard him approach you, startling slightly when you saw him standing at your side.

“It’s half past six in the morning,” you said with a quiet laugh, before pausing for a brief moment. “Yeah, okay. Can you put a bit of Chambord in it as well?” 

He subdued his amusement, but the smile still managed to reach his eyes. He nodded and turned his attention to Ben. 

“No I’m alright, thank you. But could I possibly get some water?” 

“Of course, sir,” he replied, before quickly walking away. 

You leaned in towards Ben, speaking quietly. “You’re making me look bad.” 

“You said yourself it’s only half six,” he chuckled.

“Mm, well, I’d feel like we wasted this place if I didn’t at least do one extravagant thing. How much is this even costing you- actually, no, don’t tell me.” 

He laughed again, a deep, tired laugh in the base of his throat. 

The butler handed you a tall, thin champagne flute, the rosy liquid fizzing gently, tickling your nose as you brought it to your lips. It was sweet, slightly bitter, scratchy as it slid down your throat and cold as it hit your empty stomach. But it was undeniably satisfying, making your cheeks flush and your muscles relax as you curled your feet underneath yourself and settled back further.

You talked quietly for a while, the conversation drifting aimlessly from work schedules to bucket lists, stories, jokes, favourite things. The sun was getting brighter as the morning progressed, but the lighting inside the suite stayed soft and ambient, keeping you suspended in your relaxed, comfortable bubble. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you took it out to see a message from your mother.

Did you get to the airport ok? How long til your flight? x

“Everything okay?” Ben asked.

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Just my mum worrying about me as always.” 

You leaned towards him, holding your phone up to take a selfie together. He tilted his head towards you, pulling a stupid face at the camera. 

“I’m sending this to my mum,” you said. 

“Oh.” He quickly adjusted his expression, smiling warmly and waiting for you to snap the photo. 

But before you could, your phone began to ring, an unknown number popping up on the screen. You looked at it with confusion for a moment before finally answering it with a dubious ‘hello?’ 

“May I speak with Quinn Armitage?” said a smooth, intimidating voice.

You knew immediately who it was, sitting up straighter in your seat and clearing your throat. “Yes, this is- speaking…” 

“Quinn, hello, this is Ellen Ford.” 

Ben was watching you with curious eyes, analysing your face. 

“Hi, Ms Ford, how are you?” you replied, locking eyes with him and watching his brows raise in surprise. 

“I understand you’re taking some personal leave so I wanted to catch you first,” she began, her voice calm, unbothered, a complete juxtaposition to your shaking hands and swirling stomach. “A piece came across my desk recently that I understand you wrote; ‘Still, They Watch’...?”

It felt surreal to hear the title of something you’d written come from her. “Y-yes that’s mine, I… i brought it to Julia a while back but she-”

“It’s very good,” she interrupted simply, as though she hadn’t even registered that you were speaking.

“Thank you.” 

“With some minor edits, I’d like to run it in the next issue.” 

Your hand instinctively lunged for Ben’s thigh, fingers gripping him like a vice. 

“However, with you being out of office for the foreseeable-”

“No, I’m,” you interjected, too excited to care about cutting her off. “I am out of office but I’m still working. If you send it, I can make the changes and get it right back to you.” 

“Excellent. I’d like to talk more with you about the piece when you get back.”

“I- Yes, definitely. Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how-”

She’d already hung up. You looked down at your phone in stunned silence, the camera reflecting your awestruck face back at you. 

“What was that about?” asked Ben. 

“My op-ed. She wants to publish my op-ed.” 

He breathed out a single, quick laugh, smiling as he reached over and placed a hand on the back of your head, shaking you with restrained excitement. “That’s amazing!”

“I don’t even know how she got hold of it-” You paused, before looking up at him suspiciously. “Did you have something to do with this?” 

“What? No! I swear to god, no.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before quickly realising he was telling the truth, your mouth swiftly curling into a smile. “I wish I could see the look on Julia’s face when she finds out.”

“Maybe she’s the one who showed it to her?” 

“Definitely not. Maybe Nick snuck it into her office. I need to text him.”

“Text your mum first.” 

“Oh, yeah.” You lifted the phone, leaning into him and finally snapping the photo.   

You couldn’t stop giggling. Not as you were driven across the tarmac, or as you climbed the steps to the plane, not even when you finally got onboard. The whole thing just seemed so ridiculous to you; the special treatment and constant fast tracking, the flight attendants calling you ‘madam’ as they led you to your seat.

You’d stared out of the window during takeoff like a wonderstruck child, the reality of what you were doing finally starting to sink in - you were on a plane, tucked cosily inside your own personal business class cubicle as you soared towards the atlantic, your famous boyfriend sat directly behind you. Was this your life now? Would there come a day when trips like this no longer felt special? When boarding a plane and sitting in business class felt as mundane as catching the tube?

You’d been in the air for almost eight hours, and you were growing restless. You’d tried to sleep, took out your laptop and tried to write, you’d flicked through films on the TV, even resorted to playing word games on your phone.

You huffed and stood up, kneeling on your seat and resting your arms on top of the partition separating your cubicle from Ben’s. 

He glanced up at you before taking off his headphones. “Hi,” he greeted with a smile.

“Hi. What’re you watching?” 

“Hm? Oh, nothing, I’m listening to music.” He looked up at you for a moment. “Are you bored?” 

“Mhm.” You looked around the quiet cabin, then over to the toilets, then back to him, lowering your voice to a whisper. “Do you want to go and join the mile high club?” 

“Quinn,” he said, his voice low and steady, like a warning. 

“I’m only joking. I’m too loud to ever get away with that.”

“I know.” 

You rested your chin on your arms as you looked down at him, smirking slightly. “Well if you won’t meet me in the toilets, will you at least play scrabble with me for a bit?”

He rolled his eyes, giving in to a smile and reaching for his phone. “Fine, but you can’t get pissed off with me like you did last time.”

“No promises,” you replied, turning around and sinking back down into your seat.

It was noon when you landed in LA, but your bodyclock was still stuck on London time. The evening would be closing in there now, the temperature dropping, sun beginning to sink towards the horizon. Yet here, it was bright and busy, with air conditioning blasting from the ceilings and deafeningly loud crowds at every turn. You were exhausted as you followed another escort through the airport, your eyelids gritty, limbs heavy, wondering why your mind hadn’t let you sleep on the plane when your body so desperately needed it. 

Ben took you by the hand as you walked, while his other hand pushed a large luggage trolley. “You okay?” he asked, his voice muffled by the mask covering his mouth. 

You nodded, giving him a slight squeeze. 

It was strange how different everything felt already, like the atmosphere itself was unfamiliar; the current moved faster here, more erratic, pulling everyone along in sharp, errant bursts. There was a restlessness, a sense that no one had time to walk slowly or speak quietly, not even inside the airport.

Ben kept hold of your hand as you were ushered towards a private exit, and as the doors slid open, you were hit by a wall of sudden, intense heat. It was thick yet dry, like stepping into a cloud of dust. You’d visited hot countries before, but none that had taken your breath away quite like this. It was exciting, to feel so far removed from home.

A black SUV was waiting outside, the windows tinted so dark they looked opaque. The driver stood beside it holding up a discreet sign; Ben’s initials and a string of numbers you didn’t understand. The escort handed you both off to him, like children who couldn’t be left unsupervised for even a moment. 

You climbed into the backseat as they piled your bags into the boot, breathing a sigh of relief to find the aircon blasting through the car. You leaned your head against the window and closed your eyes, listening as the door opened and Ben shuffled in beside you, his voice hoarse from tiredness and the recycled plane air as he spoke to the driver. 

His hand found your thigh, thumb stroking gently back and forth in a silently soothing gesture. You appreciated it, turning to look at him with a sleepy smile.

“How long until we get there?” you asked as the car began to move.

“About an hour.” 

You rolled your eyes and he laughed. 

“You just survived an eleven hour flight,” he said. “You’ll cope.” 

The car rolled to a stop, but you weren’t there yet. You peered into the front, watching the driver roll down his window next to a small wood-paneled outbuilding. Ben leaned over, handing him a small plastic card. The engine rumbled quietly as you waited, and after a moment, you saw a barrier rise to let you through. You flashed Ben a curious glance but he didn’t seem to notice, too busy directing the driver on where to go. 

You moved steadily along wide, winding roads, and even in your tired haze, your eyes stayed wide open. Huge gates stood before endless driveways, leading to grand entrances set into ivy-covered walls. Tall palms framed perfectly manicured lawns that stretched across hillsides, spanish villas with clay tile roofs, modern houses of glass and steel set like art installations against the dusty gold backdrop of hills and valleys. It was surreal, so perfect it almost seemed fake. 

You kept going further up the winding road, the houses growing larger and further apart like they needed room to breathe. When you finally turned a corner, you’d almost forgotten why you were there, finally snapping back into reality when Ben handed the driver another keycard.

He used it to open a gate, rolling slowly up a long private road lined with neat grass and pruned hedges, wild bushes, trees and shrubbery providing a sense of seclusion as you ventured further in. The car finally stopped in the middle of a large, paved driveway, the house surrounding it making your mouth fall open. 

You climbed out of the car, shielding your eyes from the sun as you stared up at the building before you. Lime Washed walls and terracotta roofs, arches and walkways, windows with wooden shutters and stone paths leading to standalone structures. The front entrance was like its own private courtyard; plants and pillars, another magnificent arch framing a glass front door. You stood gawping at it as Ben lifted your luggage out of the boot. And by the time the car had begun to drive away, you still hadn’t uttered a word. 

“Quinn, can you come and get your suitcase?” he called out. 

“When you said you had a house you stayed in whenever you came to LA, you failed to mention it was a fucking mansion,” you said, whipping around to face him. 

He shrugged at you, brow furrowed like he didn’t understand.

“Is this yours?” you pressed. “Like… You own it? You’re not renting it out, it- this is your house?” 

“Yes, this is my house.” He began, talking sarcastically slow, like he was explaining the concept to a child. “This is my California home. So when I am in California, I live here.” 

 You sneered at him and grabbed the handle of your suitcase. “Well go on then, lead the way.” 

“Why are you annoyed with me for having a nice house?” he laughed. 

“I’m not annoyed, I’m just- I keep forgetting you’re… you. Then suddenly it’s like boom, vip lounge, business class, sprawling fucking mansion in the hills.” 

The corner of his mouth twitched, threatening a smirk he knew better than to let spread. Instead he kissed the side of your head and hoisted your bags onto his shoulders, dragging his suitcase behind him. You followed, eyeing more details of the house as you went; the architecture and the greenery, the steps leading up to the front door framed with lanterns, how everything seemed so thought out and deliberate. 

He unlocked the door and let you inside, your footsteps echoing against the polished tile floor as you wandered in. You bit the inside of your cheek as you gazed around, knowing you couldn’t keep harping on at him about it, no matter how much you wanted to. The walls were smooth and rounded, the staircase curving perfectly up to the second floor. Everything was neutral and clean, earth tones and natural textures, tall ceilings and minimal clutter. There were more archways, providing small glimpses into other parts of the house, and you wondered how one man could possibly make use of so much space, if there were places he rarely ever saw. 

“Go on, lay into me,” he said with a joking sigh.

“This is… beautiful,” you replied sincerely. 

“Oh. Thank you. Do you want a quick tour?” 

“Quick?” 

He glared at you. 

“Sorry,” you said, biting back a smirk. “Couldn’t help myself.” 

The house echoed as you walked through it, the tall ceilings and generous windows making the place feel airy and open. Walls and archways seemed sculpted into the space, tones of clay and earth accented with black iron banisters, tiled floors and carved mahogany finishes. It was a far cry from his home back in London. There, his wealth was hidden in the foundations, in the pricey location and quiet luxuries. But here, it was impossible to miss. 

The kitchen alone was bigger than your entire flat, bordered with pale oak cabinets and shiny industrial-sized appliances. Dim, warm spotlights lined the exposed beams in the ceiling, casting a glow over the huge island in the middle of the room. You ran your hand along the polished marble top as you passed it, catching a glimpse of what looked like a small orchard beyond the window.

“This is the kitchen,” said Ben.

There were a bunch of flowers sitting in a vase on the island. You reached out and touched the petals, surprised to discover they were real. “How are these not dead?” 

“Hm? Oh, well I have people who come once or twice a week to look after the house when I’m not staying here. Y’know, gardeners, housekeepers, pool maintenance…”

You nodded, slowly learning to take this new reality in your stride.

He showed you to the first of many living rooms, where framed art and floating bookshelves decorated the pristine white walls. Curved couches sat low to the ground, angled towards the windows and sliding glass door on the back wall. He slid it open and gestured for you to follow him outside, a slight smile on his face, like he was excited for you to see what lay beyond it.

There was a fire pit on the patio, outdoor furniture still wrapped in its waterproof covering. You stood there for a moment in the dry, california heat, looking out at the well-kept grass that seemed to blend into the hills in the distance. Across the lawn was a swimming pool, a tennis court, statues and water features, flowers and citrus trees.

“It’s not like you to be this quiet,” he said. “Where’s the snarky comments? The criticism telling me this is all too much?” 

You shrugged and shook your head. “I think you’ve finally managed to make me speechless.” 

The tour continued with Ben doing most of the talking. He showed you rooms you wouldn’t have even known were there; a bar, a study, a sun room, all tucked away down curved passageways and across small courtyards connecting one part of the building to the other. There was a cinema room, with velvet recliners and a huge projector screen, a sleek home gym with accompanying sauna, and a cellar stocked full of whiskeys and gins, wines and bottles with labels you couldn’t even make out. 

He lugged your bags upstairs and you followed behind in awe, staring up at the skylight above the landing, natural light flooding another vast, minimal space. You peered into passing guest rooms and bathrooms, verandas and more stairs leading back down to places you weren’t sure you’d even seen yet. 

“And this is our room,” said Ben breathlessly, pushing open a set of double doors and dropping  the luggage on the ground with a huff. 

You stepped into the master bedroom and let out a soft, quiet sigh, too overwhelmed to muster anything more. It was huge, with smooth, curving walls and a glass door leading out onto a private balcony. The bed was perfectly made, all soft linens and neutral tones, the large wooden headboard built into the back wall. There was a sitting area, a fireplace, a television, and yet still, the room somehow felt sparse.

“What’s through there?” you asked, pointing to another door facing the bed. 

“That’s the wardrobe- Well, closet,” he said in an American accent, making you giggle. “And if you come through it, I’ll show you the master bathroom.”

You watched him open the door and disappear into the walk-in closet space, refraining from making a Narnia joke as you began to follow him. 

You could have slapped him for calling it a wardrobe. It was more like a hallway, each side lined with shelves and cupboards, glass cabinets filled with watches and cufflinks, shoes neatly organised on racks beneath them. There was an archway on the other end, leading through to a bathroom of marble and tile, glass and stainless steel. The deep clawfoot tub stood in the centre of the room, behind it a large window looking out on another stunning landscape. 

“Toilet’s through there,” said Ben. “And the shower’s in that bit over there.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “I’m so embarrassed that I ever let you set foot in my flat.” 

He furrowed his brow and laughed. “What?”

“This. This is how you live, and then you come and stay with me where you need to punch the shower just to get it to turn on.” 

He laughed again, more heartily this time. “I did offer to get that fixed for you.” 

You rolled your eyes and made your way back through to the bedroom, your eyes immediately falling on the glass door. You walked across the room and slid it open, stepping out onto the balcony and resting your elbows on the railing. 

You closed your eyes and tilted your head back to let the sun warm your face, and after a moment, Ben was behind you, pressing up against your back and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“I get why you want to live here full time,” you said softly. ���It’s beautiful.”

“Who said I wanted to live here full time?” 

“Faye.”

He inhaled deeply, letting it out in a low groan. “I thought we’d learned not to listen to anything that woman says…” 

“Yeah but, I wouldn’t blame you if this one was true. Why on earth would you ever go back to London when you have the ability to wake up to this every morning?” 

He hummed in thought. “Well, I might not appreciate it as much if I was here all the time.” He kissed the side of your head. “I like it here, but… London’s my home.”

You let your head fall back against his chest, eyes scanning the hills in the distance, the afternoon light pouring over them like honey. A gentle breeze rolled in, taking the edge off the heat, and for a while neither of you spoke.

His chest rose and fell slowly as you rested against him, the quiet strength of his arms snug around your waist. Every time you thought you were finally getting used to it all, to the odd reality he existed in, something always came to throw you off kilter again. 

“You okay?” he asked, his voice low and gentle against your ear.

“Mhm.” You nodded, leaning back further into him. “Readjusting.” 

He exhaled a laugh. “It’s been a long day. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” 

You turned your head slightly, intending to speak, but stopped yourself with a gentle sigh. The old Quinn would have corrected him, reminded him how far removed from normal his life was. But you no longer felt the need; understanding now that this wasn’t normal, but it was his normal. And, if you were going to stay with him, it would inevitably become yours too. 

For a short while, you stood there wrapped in the quiet, basking in the warmth and the soft brush of his thumbs over your hips. Until eventually you felt him shift, his hands moving to your waist to guide you back inside. 

“Shall we get a shower?” he asked.

His voice was low and casual, the same tone he might use when talking about dinner or the weather. There was no sly smile, no teasing edge, just an easy, simple offer.

It still surprised you how natural it felt; the idea of sharing something so intimate without expectation. Before him, you’d never have believed an invitation like that could be about comfort rather than sex. You wouldn’t have wanted it to be. 

*Yeah, that sounds nice,” you replied with a sleepy smile, letting him take your hand and lead you back towards the bathroom. 

You undressed together, throwing your clothes into a heap on the tiled floor. He opened the glass door of the shower and turned it on, holding his hand under the stream to test the temperature. And when it was ready, he gestured for you to step in.

He’d kept the water cool; a soothing relief from the California heat. You closed your eyes as you stood directly beneath the shower head, washing away the sweat and grime of your long journey. He got in behind you, pressing himself up close against your back and reaching over you for a bottle of shampoo.  

He washed your hair, his fingertips massaging your scalp with a firm pressure, making you relax into him with a grateful sigh. And when he was done, you turned to face him, tilting your head back to rinse away the suds before lathering him with shower gel. Your palms glided over his shoulders and down his arms, curving around his waist and trailing down his back. He leaned down to kiss you, his lips pressing against yours, just once, before returning his attention to your hair. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, lost in the scent of his soap and the sound of running water. Neither of you had spoken, moving with ease around the small space, taking turns under the stream and tending to each other carefully.

When you stepped out, your muscles felt looser, your skin fresh and clean, your mind pleasantly quiet. You wrapped yourself in a towel and wandered back into the bedroom, crouching at your suitcase and opening it to find the crumpled, disorganised mess of clothes you’d carelessly shoved inside.

Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed, a towel wrapped low around his waist, watching you as you rummaged for something to wear. His eyes followed you as you stood up and began to move around the room, drying yourself and peering at your reflection in the mirror.

“What?” you asked with a suspicious smirk.

He shook his head, leaning back on his elbows. “I just think you’re so beautiful.” 

You paused for a moment, pressing your lips together to hide a smile before continuing to dry yourself. “Well, that’s lucky. I imagine you’d find it quite challenging to sleep with me if you didn’t.” 

“I’m a man, darling. I’d manage.” 

You snorted. “Charming.” 

You slipped into your underwear and sat down to pull on a pair of leggings, your eyes flitting over to him every few moments as he began to get dressed too. Water stuck to his shoulders and chest like beads, his arms flexing as he unfolded a t-shirt, bottom lip sucked gently into his mouth. He was divine, mouthwatering, and there was a bed right there. Yet somehow, you were perfectly content on the other side of the room. 

"Oh no," you began dryly. "We've already hit the 'boring' stage, haven’t we." 

"What do you mean?" he asked with a laugh. 

"Beautiful place, huge bed, and we’re just… Getting dressed." 

His mouth curled in amusement as he realised what you were implying. Then his gaze drifted over you, his voice turning low and calm when he finally spoke.

“I’m letting you rest today.” 

He didn’t elaborate, didn’t punctuate his words with a wink or a smirk. Instead, he simply reached for his t-shirt and pulled it over his head.

“You’re letting me rest…?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Mhm,” he replied as he rolled the material down over his torso. “Because I’m working all day tomorrow. And by the time I get home, I’ll need somewhere to put my frustration.”

You glanced up at him, your fingers paused with your leggings halfway up your thighs. 

He met your gaze, the weight of his meaning settling in the space between you. “And you’ll be right here,” he said simply. “Won’t you.”

The air seemed to thin, your throat tightening, heat blooming deep in your stomach. “I’ll be here,” you finally replied.

His eyes flitted to your fingers as they clutched the waistband of your leggings, still half-forgotten at your thighs. The sight seemed to amuse him, a soft, brief smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

*Tag List: @blondekel77 @bakerstreethound @annesthaeticc @aephereal @sharp-cheekbones-locked @sherlux @veryladyqueen @graciebear47 @allurenia @jamerlynn @cottagecore-cat @aysamuka @thegardenerofeden @cumbercatchmebaby @inspirationalandrandom @turkisherlockian @swds @weepingdreamerpanda @elzabethann @childofgod215 @briecantopme @lovecleastrange @paola-carter @greatburger @azu21 @xourownsidee @hunterofshadows04 @asgardianprincess1050 @teddycrimson @sherlocksgirl91 @oliveoilthoughts @hai-kbai @shjl15 @bloodyxsaint @charleighsblog @stephenstrangeaddictions @omgstarks @sleutherclaw @bisciwri @theevilsupreme @gwoods123 @classickook @coffee-d0t @strangeobsessed @januarycolor @strangeions @lonadane @downtownshabby

[necngravestcnes]

CLANCY WORLD TOUR ~ togg &jog on tour the essay

*clears throat*

(I’m writing it for the 3rd time cause Tumblr is sick and won’t let me post anything!!!)

Hi, frens! Just for clarification, while I’m writing it, I still can’t quite wrap my head around what happened and what I had the chance to witness. I’ve watched some livestreams before and I know the setlist but still, this really doesn’t prepare you for rollercoaster of emotions you get once you are among us, clikkies, shouting the lyrics of beloved songs and seeing Tyler & Josh just having one big party with us. This is incomparable to ANY show I’ve attended before. The energy, the interaction with fans, the welcoming feeling of being in the right place and time. I don’t exaggerate. They know their drill, they know how to entertain and make people included 🥹 I will love them for that forever and to the end of the world. That’s what makes you a great artist I think. Now, before I tell you everything, I would like you to draw your attention towards a person without I would never ever get to love these two boys from Ohio - @pardonmydelays - my togg, my soulmate and best fren! My life has been way much happier once I started listening to their songs. BECAUSE OF HER! And now having the opportunity to see them live with your best bud? THE MOST WHOLESOME FEELING IN THE WORLD!! This was so special! 🥹 Now… Welcome back to the show… I will never forget the beating of heart jumping in my chest right before I heard Overcompensate’s sound after legendary What’s your ETA? (✌️minutes!) This song is an actual opener, the banger of the century!!! Tyler Joseph has the taste and you can’t deny it! Hearing this live healed my soul I think, and then Holding on to You in the crowd! We got to stand pretty close to the stage (standing at 4am in the queue to get bands paid off lol! FUN TIMES, I would do it again!) Tyler stood on the platform just some 2-3 metres from us 🥹 (I would post a video but Tumblr won’t let me 🙃) And this was the moment I realised he’s real and he doesn’t exist only in my phone. Little Guy Clancy proceed to bang some sick tunes on his keyboard during Vignette and then did his magic trick of showing up even higher than tribunes because why not. Car Radio, you’ll be always famous! Here’s a really bad pic of our Clanky…

The Judge moment was really moving with the crowd singing the words and watching the video of fans explaining how much tøp music means to them. Tyler proceeding with the second verse of the song out of blue gave me even more goosebumps! *intermission for some pics*

You guys know how much Next Semester means to me, right? At least I hope you do. I didn’t record it, I asked poppy to do so because I knew I would be too busy drowning in my own tears. I only managed to snap a pic of Tyler pretending to be a magnificent statue, when he stood motionless long enough to take a photo of him lol

He and Josh were smiling and goofing around a lot, and I believe it is because of us screaming the lyrics of songs the loudest our lungs could let us. It was so much fun!! Tyler even learnt how to correctly pronounce the name of our city - Łódź - it was adorable, he said they’re so happy to be back in Poland, and it showed!!! ☺️ They debuted even Doubt demo version here??? Hello??? (I’ve been streaming it today ALL DAY!) Lavish was absolutely amazing, seeing two goofballs getting married on stage is something else, I’m telling you! 😂 poppy would murder me if I didn’t mention Backslide, and I wouldn’t forgive myself as well!! Hearing The Scream™️ live was something else, I knew it was coming but you still cannot be prepared!! The emotions, the tension, this song is absolute perfection 🥹

My soul left my body hearing Shy Away, heavydirtysoul and Midwest Indigo!!!! It was truly out of body experience hearing them all live. My absolute faves!

AND I DIDN’T FORGET ABOUT BEANIE™️ HOW COULD I? YOU ALL PROBABLY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BEANIE, idk what else to tell you. Blurryface is my beloved absolute fashion icon! Stressed Out was amazing and it will never get old. I said what I said! THE GUITAR??????

I also lost my mind during The Lore part. How sick was burning Dema to the ground?! Jumpsuit, Navigating, Nico and The Niners. Absolute iconic songs. This post is getting dangerously too long but I think there’s still not enough words to describe how I felt during this show. it was positively overwhelming, it made me feel nervous and happy and even though I hate crowds, standing in the pit with Clikkies felt safe and I didn’t even think of my anxiety 🥹 There I felt truly happy and at peace. Idk what else to say. I’m happy I stayed alive to experience it all. In Trench you are not alone, right? I feel like their music saved me so many times, and I’m forever grateful for that.

(*additional mention* I also would like to tell you that we were standing in the pit so close to Tyler freaking Joseph during Trees that we got splashed with water. This will be my legacy and I will never shut up about it 😭😭😭)

@endofanera-startofanage @noproof-youjustknow @redwidow616 @thepaladinstrait @xproskeith @fairlylocalsixes ❤️

[sturn-wrld]

🪼sunsets at the beach

pairing: matt x reader

summary: where matt takes reader to the beach

genre: SMUT!!! if that makes you uncomfortable dni!

warnings: unprotected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), nicknames (babe, baby)

a/n: day 11 of smutmas. parts of this fix are almost poetical. this one is a little longer than usual i would like to think. idrk.

masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

hey baby do you want to come to the beach with me?

yeah of course baby :)

i'll be there in 15 love you

love you

as you rushed around for 15 minutes to get ready to go to the beach with your boyfriend matt, you were wondering why he would suddenly want to go to the beach at 5 in the afternoon in the middle of winter. i mean you had an idea but kinda rushed it away because he could just come to your house for that.

you heard a knock on your door. you opened it with overwhelming amount of joy to see your boyfriend. it had been a while since you saw him last and you really just wanted to spend some quality time with him. "matty" you said reaching your arms out for a hug, "baby" he said pulling out the y sound as he hugged you. "you ready to go?" he asked me as we released from our long hug. "yeah, i think so" you said looking around after picking up my bag making sure that i didn't forget anything. "we aren't actually swimming though right? because it's freezing and i don't want to get sick" you said looking at matt wonder in your eyes, he just laughed. "no no no don't worry beautiful i wouldn't do that to you" he said place a piece of hair behind your ear and place his hand on your cheek, caressing it. "okay let's go then" you said walking up to his car.

as you hopped in the car, you connect your phone to the aux and started queueing up some songs. he looked over at you as you reached the first red lights and said, "you are so beautiful" you looked back at him making eye contact before looking away to your lap smiling and blushing. he placed his hand on your thigh, where he drew little circles for the remainder of the drive to the beach causing your panties to become a mess, but you soldiered through it as this was a sweet gesture from your sweet boyfriend.

he parked right above the beach where you could see everything from right by as sunset was at its peak. "wow this is so pretty" you say staring at the beautiful orange and pink tones that a shining band reflecting against the ocean, the remaining sunlight sparking against the blue ocean. "not as pretty as you" you look over at your boyfriend to only look away again flustered.

you looked down at your lap to see out of the corner of your eye, matt's pants starting to tent and his hand making it further and further up your thigh. you now looked directly at his crotch and back up to his face where he now became flustered before looking away. "i'm so sorry baby" he said trying to apologise for having a boner, "it's the first time i'm seeing you in weeks and i stuff it up by getting hard" he said pressing his palms to his face and looking down.

"who said you ruined it" you said while now slowly caressing his hard on. "what" he said his breath hitching in his throat. "i mean we clearly haven't done anything like this in a couple weeks because we've been apart but what if we need it" you said feeling his boner a little rougher. "are you sure your okay with that baby? i don't want you to think we need to just because i'm a horny fucktard" all you did was start to undo his belt as he looked at you, eyes filled with seduction. he continued to pull of his belt and pants until his bottom half was naked and his hard cock was sprung up against his stomach.

you took his dick into your hands as you slowly started run your finger over his tip before starting to fully pump his now fully extended length. his noises were every where. he was whining like you had never heard before. you suddenly took his cock into your mouth, his hands going straight into your hair. "i love you so much gorgeous" he said feeling up your ass making you moan around his cock, making him vibrate and groan even louder. as you started going a bit faster, he started bucking his hips up into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. you felt him twitch meaning he was close to his finish. you started bobbing your head up and down faster to prompt his orgasm. he whined impossibly louder as his loud shot down your throat. you gently took your mouth from around his still hard cock. he grabbed a nearby napkin to wipe the excess cum from his cock and around your mouth.

"get in the back baby" he said sweetly wiping the cum from your mouth as if he isn't about to rearrange all of your internal organs. you obeyed and crawled into the back, him following behind. he crawled on top of you, making out with you, his cock teasing at your clothed centre. you started moaning already. matt noticed your sudden neediness and tried to rush the foreplay section a bit as you were just wrapped around his cock. he pulled off all of his remaining clothes and all of yours before placing himself comfortably in between your legs, rubbing his cock up and down your aching core.

"babe please stop teasing" you said grabbing his shoulders and neck, not being able to bear the mixture of semi pleasure and pain anymore. he started kissing up your stomach and chest until he was aligned with your face. "your wish is my command beautiful" he said pushing his cock into your core. you moaned in response not knowing how long you were going to last with this amount of pleasure. he started thrusting in and out of you at an inhumane pace that caused you to own lifer and louder with each thrust. "are you already close my baby" matt said feeling you clench around him already, a signifier that you were close. "yes baby, you make me feel so good" you practically screamed. "alright hold on for just a little bit for me" he said simultaneously going faster and faster pushing himself towards the edge. "i don't think i can last much longer if your going the fast" you said in a drunken haze almost not sure if your surroundings anymore. "it's okay cum for me now beautiful" with that you released with an unruly moan as he cummed inside of you.

he slowly pulled out of you, positioning your selves so he was slightly underneath you. "look at the sunset baby" you said as the sun had almost passed the horizon, the orange hues now overpowering every other colour"

"it's almost as beautiful as you"

taglist

@its-jennarose @ilovemattsturn @frozenvegitableoil @ermdontmindthisaccount

[roses-r-rosie3]

Hiiiiii!!!! :)

Can I request Tomas Vrbada x male reader? They meet at madame bo's, the reader is helping at the restaurant, like cleaning and serving customers in exchange for food. Reader is kinda natural at talking to customers and everyone likes him. Tomas is absolutely smitten, but thinks that since the reader is acting the same with other customers it means nothing, his friends (Johnny) tease him. So his friends and madame bo hatch a plan for the two idiots in love to finally confess

Glue Song

Tomas Vrbada x M!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight mentions of nsfw, Romance, Crack-ish

Quote: “Okay so, what if, we bring in some ninja’s and they attack the place and Tomas saves y/n! Like a knight in shining armor!”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You haven’t seen Radien and Kung Lao in months. You never got to say bye to them because you called out sick the day that they were tested, not knowing that it would be the last time you would have seen them until a while. So when you heard from Madame Bo that Kung Lao and Radien were coming by for dinner you were ecstatic.

What you didn’t expect was that they brought new people with them, a guy with a blindfold on and a movie star that you recognized. But one of those new people stood out to you, a guy with grey hair. He looked so cute, but you had to keep yourself professional because you were at work.

“Hey Raiden! Hey Kung Lao! It’s been so long since I’ve last saw you guys! And I see that you guys brought some guests!” You smiled.

Tomas was lovestruck. Your smile made him feel warm inside. He could stare at into your eyes for hours. He was mesmerized by your looks. He loved everything about you, your face, your glistening eyes, your hair, your hands, god he could just imagine your hands choking him while you-

“What drink can I get for you sir?” You asked.

“Oh- uh- s-sorry can I just get a water” Tomas stuttered.

“Of course” you smiled before leaving.

“Someone has a crush~” Johnny smirked.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” Tomas blushed.

“You’re blushing! You totally like him!” Kung Lao laughed.

“Would you stop talking so loud! He could hear you!” Tomas blurted out.

“So you do like him!” Johnny teased.

“Fine! I think he’s cute okay?! Now would you guys please keep it down!” Tomas scolded.

“Ouuuuu Tomas is in loooooooooove~” Johnny smiled.

“What are we? In middle school?” Kenshi scoffed.

“Yeah, let Tomas be, it’s not his fault that he liked y/n” Raiden said.

“Who likes y/n?” Madame Bo said.

“Madame Bo! What are you doing here! We didn’t say anyone liked y/n!” Raiden nervously laughed.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I might be an old lady but I’m not deaf. So it’s either you tell me who likes y/n or else I’m telling him that one of you like him” Madame Bo threatened.

“Fine! Tomas likes him but you can’t say a word to y/n!” Kung Lao confessed.

“He’s just y/n’s type” Madame Bo laughed before leaving.

“Wait Madame Bo! What does that mean!” Tomas called out.

Almost on queue, you showed up at the table with their drinks.

“I’m so sorry for being so late, here’s your drinks” you said as you handed out the drinks.

But as you were handing Tomas his drink, your hands accidentally touched, which caused Tomas started to blush really hard.

“Are you guys ready for me to take your orders?” You asked.

After you got their orders, you walked to the back to give their orders to the chefs before helping other customers.

“Tomas are you okay? You’re really red” Raiden asked.

“What did Madame Bo mean when she said that I was his type?” Tomas asked.

“She means that you’re the type of person that he finds attractive” Kenshi explained.

“I-is it true? Am I really his type?” Smoke blushed.

“Oh sure you are buddy! I’ve known y/n for years!” Kung Lao exclaimed.

Tomas watched as you were handing out all the customer’s plates. You were so kind to all of them, giving them polite smiles, making small talk with them, etc. Maybe Madame Bo and Kung Lao were just teasing him to get his hopes up. You were nice to everyone, what difference did he make?

“Are you sure?” Tomas questioned.

“One hundred percent, even Raiden can back me up” Kung Lao laughed.

“What if we make a plan to get them together!” Johnny exclaimed.

“Okay so, what if, we bring in some ninja’s and they attack the place and Tomas saves y/n! Like a knight in shining armor!” Johnny said.

“That’s a stupid idea” Madame Bo scoffed.

“Madame Bo! You’ve gotta stop doing that!” Raiden said.

“I have a better idea for you kids” Madame Bo smirked.

…

“And you guys said my ninja idea was stupid” Johnny said as he rolled his eyes.

“Are you sure about this Madame Bo?” Tomas asked.

“Yes, now I have to go, he’s coming” Madame Bo said before leaving.

“Sorry for your wait, it’s pretty busy today” you chuckled as you handed out everyone’s food.

When you were done handing out everyone’s food and making sure that everyone got the right food, you immediately started to serve other customers. Your smile, your voice, your eyes, your skin, your hair, everything about was so perfect, so sweet, sweet like honey.

As the night went on, Tomas started to doubt himself more and more. He noticed that you were nice to everyone you served. What if you were just doing your job and he got his hopes too high for nothing? What if-

“Dude, Are you okay? You haven’t even touched your food. You’ve just been staring at y/n the entire time” Raiden said.

“He’s lovestruck! Duh!” Johnny laughed.

“I’m fine” Tomas replied as he started to eat his food.

After everyone was done eating, that’s when the plan was going to be put into action. You walked up to the table to collect their empty plates.

“Can we get a check please?” Tomas asked.

“Oh don’t worry about it, it’s usually on the house when Raiden and Kung Lao are here” you smiled.

“Oh I’m afraid we can’t do that y/n, Kung Lao and Raiden brought 3 extra guests” Madame Bo said as she walked up to the table.

“Oh, okay then, I will bring the check, do you guys wanna pay separately or together?” You asked.

“Oh man! I don’t think any of us brought money” Kenshi said.

“I have an idea! Why don’t one of us help y/n clean and close up the store!” Kung Lao exclaimed.

All Tomas could focus on was your eyes. He could stare at them for hours. But all of a sudden he was snapped back to reality when he felt someone kick his legs.

“I said, why don’t one of us help y/n clean and close up the store” Kung Lao scolded.

“W-what? I mean- yeah! I mean- I will do it” Tomas stuttered.

“Then it’s settled, I can show you where the supplies are right now” you smiled before you started walking.

Tomas was quick to follow you, looking back to see all of his friend’s and Madame Bo cheering him on. Luckily, after you were done showing Tomas the basics of how to clean the place, it was already past closing time. But unluckily for Tomas, he didn’t hear a thing that you were saying just responding with ‘yeah’ and ‘mhm’ while he stared at your eyes.

So when it got to finally cleaning the place, Tomas didn’t know what to do at all. While you were cleaning, you chuckled as you saw Tomas struggling to broom the dust into the dustpan.

“Here let me help you with that” you chuckled as you held him from behind, guiding the broom to the dustpan.

Tomas could feel his face burning up. All of a sudden a romantic song started playing in the speakers of the restaurant. When you finally realized what you were doing and what was playing, you quickly let go.

“I-I um- I’m gonna go turn that off, I don’t even know how it turned on” you stuttered.

When you left to go to the back, Madame Bo, Johnny, and Kung Lao popped out of nowhere.

“What are you guys doing here?! And where is Madame Bo?” Tomas asked

“She had to go home, but don’t worry! We are here to help you!” Raiden exclaimed.

“I don’t need your help! Just go!” Tomas shooed.

“Really? It looks like you do” Kung Lao scoffed

Before everyone knew it, you were walking back, and they all got into their hiding spots, leaving Tomas alone once again.

“You know Tomas, when I was showing you how to clean the place, were you even listening?” You chuckled.

OH NO! HE WAS CAUGHT!!

His first instinct was to get on his knees and start crying for forgiveness. No, that would make him look even more guilty. So he decided to play dumb.

“What do you mean? I was totally listening” Tomas replied.

“Oh really?” You laughed.

You decided to skip that topic, for now. You and Tomas had a blast talking to each other while the two of you cleaned (more like you cleaning and him just looking into your eyes BUT STILL). You two got to know each other, knowing the others favorite hobbies, songs, food, etc.

When the two of you got done cleaning, you put all the things back into the cleaning closet before walking out of the locking up restaurant. Tomas offered to walk you home, and how could you not say yes! The walk to your house was usually boring, but with Tomas there with you, he made you feel like wanting to walk with him forever.

“Thanks for walking me home Tomas, maybe we can do it again sometime” you smiled.

You were about to unlock the door to your house until you felt someone grab your arm.

“Wait y/n, I have something to tell you” Tomas blushed.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I-I like you” Tomas confessed.

You looked at the ground, looking disappointed at first. Did Tomas really just screw up? But suddenly you started laughing. Oh great! Now you’re gonna make fun of him!

“It took you long enough” you laughed before pulling him in for a kiss.

You could tell that Tomas was shocked at first, feeling his jolt of surprise. It didn’t take long before he started kissing you back though. You puts put your hand on the back of his head, and stroked his hair in a reassuring way, calming him down a bit.

When the two of you pulled away from each other, you stared into each other’s eyes. Tomas took his time to think about what just happened, while also trying to savor the taste of your lips. But that’s when something hit Tomas, what did you mean when you said it took him long enough?

“Wait y/n, what do you mean?” Tomas asked.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” You chuckled.

“When you said it took me long enough” Tomas said.

“Oh, when I was in the back turning off the music, Madame Bo came out of nowhere and told me how you liked me and I just connected the dots from there” you replied.

“Wha-”

“FINALLY THEY ARE TOGETHER” Madame Bo, Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, and Raiden celebrated as they popped out of one of the nearby bushes.

“OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS WERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!” You and Tomas both said in synch.

[luvv4j4ybe11]

With time

✧𝐓𝐰𝐢n 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐥𝐨’𝐚𝐤

✧Tw!!: mentions of death,sibling loss, lo’ak dies instead of neteyam, lots of crying, first time celebrating birthday without your twin brother, mentions of su!c!de, underaged dr!nking, mentions of alcohol,mostly angst with some fluff towards the end (if you squint),feelings of grief and depression and I think that’s all, enjoy this lil Drabble<33

✧Dividers by @benkeibear

✧ translation(s): Skxawng-moron,idiot , kuru-queue, hammerbrow fish- the goldfish that kiri was playing with in that one scene (idk how else to describe it😭)

(Listen to this to make it extra sad🥰)

You woke up feeling the weight on your chest being even heavier than usual. Your face still wet with tears from last nights realization. That realization being that today was your birthday but not just yours, it was his too. Ever since the night he died, you haven’t left your side of the marui since.

Even though it’s been four months since your twin brother died, that day just keeps replaying in your head, the sound of your mother screaming, the look of absolute devastation on your older brothers face, the blood on your hands, the sound of tsireya crying, lo’aks cold expression, the way your father looked at you with complete disappointment and spat out a cold, “you’ve done enough”

Every time you thought about it you felt sick.

And naturally, being Navi twins you guys were connected more than normal siblings were, you felt each other’s heartbeats, felt when the other was happy or sad, uncomfortable or frustrated. So when you felt cold and utterly alone, you knew he was gone.

But yet there’s still times you hear his heartbeat, you feel how lonely he is and how much sorrow he’s filed with. And it makes you weak with sadness every time.

Being pulled out of your thoughts by a small pair of hands on your bicep shaking you back and forth, you turn around to see your baby sister staring back at you with a smile on her face, her eyes still washed with sadness. Yes, she was young, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. She knew how to read the room better than kids your age did.

“Sis, come on, get up! It’s your birthday!” She says while climbing onto you to give you a hug, which was something she did every year, but this one was more gentle and genuine than the others. You break the hug to place a hand on her head, lightly ruffling her braids,“Maybe later tuktuk, I’m still a little tired.” You say,weakly trying to hide the pain in your features with a fake smile.

She frowns at this, making you let out a soft chuckle as you go to push her off of you. Making her cling onto you more. “That’s what you always say!, please sis, can you get up? For me? For lo’ak?” She says while looking at you with puppy dog eyes. The slight mention of his name brings tears to your eyes, not ready to start this day without him.

“Sister, leave her be, alright? How about you go see what kiri is up to?” Neteyam says as he lifts the curtain to get into your side of the hut, holding it open for tuk to run out eagerly to find her sister.

Closing it, he glances at you before siting on your sleeping mat, “Sister, I’m-” “Teyam don’t. I can’t go through today with this fake sympathetic bullshit!, you guys were constantly on both of our asses for everything! You guys never cared about how we felt! How he felt! You know how many times he came to me telling me how dad made him feel like shit? Or how kiri was pushing him about certain things? Or how he caught dad talking to you about how he’s, “too reckless” and he “wouldn’t be surprised if he got himself killed”?”

His ears pin back to his skull immediately, knowing the exact conversation you were referring to. “Sister, you think that didn’t bother me too? I told him that lo’ak only acted like that because he wanted to be like him. But of course he didn’t listen. And do you think I wasn’t aware of how you guys felt? Why do you think I’d always have both of your guys backs whenever you got into trouble? Why do you think I came up with lies left and right to mom and dad so you two wouldn’t get your asses beat? I wanted to avoid making you guys feel like that, but I only have so much control y/n..” he says as he squeezes his his fists in anger, his feelings from that night bubbling to the surface again.

You move from your comfortable position to sit next to him, bringing him into a much needed hug. “Brother, I know you did. I know you try every single day. And I look up to you because of that. You’re stronger than I am. You keep pushing forward even though there’s so much shit happening to you, I don’t understand how you do it.” You say as you feel tears flowing from your face, the hug reminding you of how lo’ak used to hug you whenever you were in a mood.

“I do it because of you guys. Because of him. You guys are the reason I keep pushing. And especially the both of your skxawng asses” he says with a soft chuckle before breaking the hug, placing his hand on your head softly, something he did with you and lo’ak that became a comfort thing for the both of you. “You can do this today sister, I believe in you, we all do.” His tone making tears automatically spill over your eyes, and causing you to notice his tear filled eyes.

Looking for some sort of grounding you place your hand over his and squeeze, taking multiple deep breaths before speaking. “Teyam.. I can’t, I miss him so much. Everytime I wake up I feel so alone and cold, but I can still hear his breath, and his heartbeat. My pain is not only mine, but his too.” You say in between sobs, watching neteyams breathing get more shallow as he tries to hold in his tears. His features covered in concern.

“Oh baby sis..” bringing you into another much needed hug. He places a light kiss on your forehead before rubbing your back and gently swaying you from side to side,trying to calm down your cries.

Kiri walks in quietly, the feeling of your pain drawing her to your room. Her whole body goes slack and cold when she sees your state, making her glance at Neteyam. That feeling intensifying even more once she saw the pain in his eyes. She takes her place behind you, quickly inserting herself into the hug. Wrapping her right arm around your waist and the other overlapping with neteyams so she can hold him too,her chin resting on your shoulder.

“You feel him don’t you? His heartbeat? His sorrow? His breath? Like he’s just a word about to be spoken?” Without lifting your head you nod quickly, too mentally exhausted speak anymore. “I know how you feel sister. Take that feeling as a way of him telling you to keep going. Keep breathing for him, keep your heart beating for him. That sorrow will be gone once he sees that you’re living for him.”

Her words make you sob even more. Knowing she’s right, he’s always hated seeing you cry, and he did anything to fix it. Purposely making himself look like a dumbass, making you go on an ikran ride with him, asking you to go exploring with him, taking you to you guys secret spot, pinky promises. He did anything for you. And so did you.

A wave of calm suddenly hits you, making your sobs come to a complete stop, and your breathing becomes more level. Feeling the change, your siblings give each other a confused glance before looking down at you. “Sister?..” they both say in sync as you break the hug and get up, your features going completely cold. “I’m going to visit him..if that’s ok with you guys” you say while lifting up a blanket, revealing a stash of alcohol you’ve been keeping ever since his funeral.

Quickly you take a bottle and cover it back up, grabbing your hunting knife and putting on both you and lo’aks matching bracelets you made on your 10th birthday. Walking towards the curtain to leave, you’re pulled back by a gentle pull on your shoulder.

“Y/n..don’t don’t drink today. It’s not gonna stop you from hurting, and you know that.” Kiri says while gliding her hand down to your hand that was holding the alcohol firmly. “Yeah, I know that kiri, but it dulls it somewhat. And it stops me from wanting to throw myself off of a cliff so I think it’s worth it. Plus it’s my birthday! I’m allowed to drink as much as I want today!!” You say in a fake enthusiastic tone, your sarcasm reminding them so much of lo’ak.

“Y/n.” Neteyam says in a soft but stern tone, the one that told you that whatever he was about to say was gonna be serious. “Don’t drink. I know you’ve been hurting more than we have but we need you here. Lo’ak needs you here. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt.” He says as his voice starts to crack slightly, remembering all the things the three of them would come up with whenever you were anything but happy and content.

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you squeeze the bottle tighter, fighting the instinct to drown your feelings in the burning liquid.

Glancing over at them, your heart breaks seeing the genuine hurt on their faces because of the realization you’ve been drinking this whole time and they didn’t know. Sighing angrily,you shove the bottle into neteyams chest. “Fine, but when I get back just save me a bottle, because I know it’ll be gone by the time I come back.” You say while turning out of your room swiftly, leaving kiri and neteyam there speechless.

Once you get to the spirt tree, you thank payakan and tell him that you’ll see him soon. Ever since lo’aks passing you’ve only really left your marui to go see payakan, knowing he carries the same weight as you do.

While swimming towards the tree, you mentally prepare yourself for this painful experience. You’ve been avoiding coming to the tree in the first place, because you knew how much it take out of you. And he knew the same.

Connecting your kuru to the tree, you’re brought to you and lo’aks secret spot back at your actual home. The only place that brought you two comfort. Tentatively, you walk through the clearing, lo’ak still not in sight.

“Lo?, where are you?” You call out, the sound of your own voice making you realize you weren’t 15, but you were younger. Walking towards a curtain of flora that led to a small river, you catch a glimpse of your brother, making you walk quicker.

Once you get there you see lo’ak sitting at the edge of river with his feet languidly swaying in the water, just staring into the water. Almost like he was waiting for something, or someone. You don’t say anything at first, just taking in the sight of him after not seeing him for months.

“Brother..” you say softly, not wanting to disturb his peace. His head whips in the direction of your voice, his expression lighting up as he gets up and walks towards you. “Sister!!, I thought you’d never show!” He says as he takes you into a hug, the sound of his voice making you giggle since he was also his younger self.

“Of course I did, it just took me a little time. You know I’d always come to see your skxawng ass” you say as you break the hug to shove his face with your pointer and middle finger. He giggles at that, his smile making the weight on your chest get lighter.

Grabbing your hand, he guides you to where he was sitting. Taking your seat beside him, you gaze out into the water with him.Nervously playing with your extra finger, you take a breath before talking about what you were avoiding for so long.

“Brother I’m-” you exhale slowly before continuing, noticing out of the corner of your eye how all lo’aks attention was turned to you. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been me that got shot that night. I was the one that put the idea into your head to go save spider. I should’ve just told you and teyam to go so I could’ve got spider by myself-” “Sister,” he cuts you off, your rambling making the pain in his heart worse. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop hurting yourself like this. It’s not fair to you. You need to focus on now. Not ‘what if’. And plus, It’s not like I would’ve listened to you if you told me to go anyway, there’s no way in hell I’d let that happen.”

Both of you giggle at the last part, knowing that he’s not lying. Once your laughs die down, you look down at your hands, that feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest. Glancing over at you, he notices how you’re playing with your pinkies, a telltale sign that told him something was bothering you.“Sister, what else is it?” He says as he leans back onto his hands, noticing how your shoulders slightly go stiff from his question.

Turning your body to face him, you don’t fail to notice the genuine look of concern in his eyes. “You know what day it is today?” You ask, making his expression completely drop. “Yeah, I know.” The words feeling like a weight on his tongue. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today without you lo’. I can’t. It hurts too much.” You say as the tears finally spill over your face, the grief crawling back up your throat once again. “No, y/n, you can and you will. For me. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you can’t live out there. Live for me, y/n. Stop letting yourself be consumed by grief and guilt. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.” He says sternly, making sure you know he’s being serious.

All you do is nod your head, not trusting your voice with the lump in your throat and the never ending tears that keep falling from your eyes. The sight of your hurting form makes lo’aks heart twist in pain. And the fact he couldn’t really do much hurt even more. “Come here, sis,” Placing his hand on your shoulder he pulls you towards him. Giving you a much needed hug, immediately making you sob into the crook of his neck.

“I miss you, twin” he says while resting his chin on your shoulder, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. You let out a broken, “i miss you more” as the void in your chest grows the longer you two hug.

Once you finally calm down,you break the hug, now seeing each other how you guys remember. “Well shit..” you both say in sync, making you both laugh. “You look so grown. I don’t like it.” Lo’ak says as he admires you a little longer, a feeling of peace swirling in his chest. “Yeah,me neither” you say in a soft tone, once again feeling guilty for moving on without him with you.

Placing left hand on your head, and his right on your shoulder he looks at you with a soft smile on his face, “Y/n,you’ll be ok. I’ll always be watching you, and I’ll always protect you.” The tone of his voice making you inhale sharply so the next wave of tears doesn’t come. He raises his pinky finger towards you, waiting for you to do the same. You let out a soft chuckle at his childish behavior before obliging.

Once both of you pinkies are holding onto one another, he grips your shoulder tighter. “Promise me, that you won’t give up on yourself, that you won’t push everyone away, that you won’t drink your feelings away. Promise me that you can get over this feeling. That you will live through this feeling.”

You squeeze his pinky even tightly as you feel the tears well up in your eyes, realizing that time will make no difference to how much you miss him. But it will for how much you will grow through this feeling.

Tugging his pinky towards yours, you nod your head ‘yes’ before saying, “I promise. I promise I’ll do my best for you. I promise that I’ll try for you.” The words making a smile appear on his face. He brings you into a loving hug, the warmth of comfort washing over both of you guys.

“Happy birthday,twin” you guys say in sync again, a soft giggle coming from both of you. Breaking the hug, he grabs your hands and squeezes them tightly “ow! That hurts!” “I don’t care! I want you to have fun for me today alright? Celebrate us! Spend time with everyone that loves you and gives a shit about you. You deserve it!” he says through his laughs, making you smile softly at his childish demeanor.

“Alright I will!! I’ll come visit you again tonight and I’ll tell you all about today!” You say in a giddy tone, noticing that this has been the first time you’ve been somewhat happy since these last 4 months.

“You better” he says while rolling his eyes dramatically, knowing he did it to make you laugh. Once your laughter dies down, you both look back at the water. Not wanting this moment to end already. “I love you,bro” you say while bumping your shoulder against his, making him laugh and do the same to you. “I love you more,sis” he says with a soft smile on his face, one that replaced the one on yours.

You two stay like this for a while, just basking in each others presence and invading each others space. Thoughts of leaving suddenly crowd your head and the second those thoughts occur, your brother says something about it.“Y/n go spend the day with them. You know how they get on our birthday, plus they’ll make you feel better.” He says in a delicate tone, a soft smile on his face from remembering how much they loved celebrating your birthdays. You sigh softly, before reluctantly standing up.

He gets up with you, bringing you into an affectionate hug. Without breaking it, he whispers “I’ll miss you,sister.” With complete sadness laced in his tone. A tear falls from your face from the sound of his voice,“I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, brother.” You two stay like this for a while, until it starts getting harder to breathe, a harsh reminder of the truth.

Breaking the hug, you give him a look that lets him know that, making him hesitantly let go of you. “I’ll see you later tonight brother, I promise. I love you!” You say while turning around to leave, hearing him let out a little ‘I love you, too’ before you leave.

Once you reach the surface you catch your breath, calling out to your ilu and mentally going over your interaction with your brother to avoid acknowledging that void in your chest.

It’s a peaceful ride back home, until you start getting in your head about ‘having fun’ today without lo’ak. Because it wasn’t just your birthday, but his too. And celebrating without him just doesn’t feel right, even tuk knows that.

But right when you start having those doubts, a group of hammerbrow fish swarm around you and your ilu, stopping you in your tracks. One of them swims up to your face and flicks your forehead, making you furrow your brows and shove it away. They swim around you and you ilu for awhile longer before leaving, one of them staying back a little longer to look at you.

The whole interaction left you with a smile on your face, knowing that it was definitely lo’ak telling you to calm down, and to stop worrying about unnecessary things. Making hope swirl in your chest.

With time, you know you’ll be okay.

A/N~ this took SO LONG to write oh my fucking god. But we made it!! And I hope you guys enjoyed this (and this is my first angst fic so pls cut me some slack if some phrasing gets repetitive😔) because I did, didn’t enjoy the tears I cried while writing this but it was worth it🩷 if you made it to the end and you’re reading this I wanna thank you so much for reading this whole long ass fic, must really love me huh😏?? LMFAOO but anyway! Otw to write for kinkmas now🏃🏽‍♀️💨

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

[dadupbuck]

Buddie AUs over 20k

To catch up on recommending fics in my bookmarks, I'll also try to make some lists instead of posting one fic per post. Though some fics might also still get their own posts even while added in a list.

To start, here are some finished Buddie AUs with more than 20k words

(I made this list in March so it doesn't have any newer fics. Soon I want to spend a day dedicated to catching up to new fics and adding posts to my queue here)

what if you're someone I just want around by ReallySmartLadyMarieCurie

20k, Rated T

"Eddie pauses in his typing, glancing at Buck and trying to figure him out. He seems so eager to help and to please, so willing to take some of the burden in order to make others happy. It’s the sort of presence that Eddie’s been craving in his life. One that he’s missed since Shannon’s fatal accident. And he’s incredibly handsome. He’s got conventional good looks and a beautiful smile, but that pink little splotch above his eye, which Eddie guesses is a birthmark, is really what brings it home."

Or, Eddie Diaz is a successful boxer who's been making a big name for himself in recent years. Buck is a fan, but he certainly never expected to end up at Eddie's house after the man calls 9-1-1 when his son gets sick.

I love the way you spoil me, baby by rosebuddiekin

33,8K, rated E

“I, uh, I was actually at that coffee shop to meet with someone else. You see, for the past few years, I’ve been a sugar daddy on a site that connects people looking for similar things. I was supposed to meet with a prospective baby that day, but then I saw you. And I felt drawn to you, so I messaged the guy I was supposed to be seeing and told him I had to cancel. I just, I thought you should know. That I should be upfront about it from the start.”

Eddie’s fork drops to his plate, making a small clatter. He can feel that his mouth is agape. He’s very glad he hadn’t taken another bite or sip of anything while Buck spoke. Because what the actual fuck? Buck… is a sugar daddy.

OR: Buck is a sugar daddy who wants to spoil Eddie rotten and take care of everything for him. Eddie has never had that sort of relationship but is willing to give it a try. There is plenty of adventure along the way.

Sunny skies & summer high by prettyboybuckley

Sequel to a one shot, 43,8K, rated E


"Well, I kind of want to kiss you right now but that's usually something that happens at the end of a first date, right?" Buck asks, doing a weird movement with his eyebrows in an attempt to be funny.

Eddie chuckles, wrinkling his nose a little.

"I guess, yeah," he mutters. "Think we're doing this a little backward already anyway, so are there any rules to follow?"

He's got a point there, and even then Buck has never really been the kind of guy who follows rules, so he ends up leaning over the center console as he uses one hand to pull Eddie's face towards him. It's a short kiss, a simple peck hello that Eddie chases after when Buck pulls away again.

OR: Buck and Eddie sneak around behind Eddie’s family’s back, spend the summer together, smoke a lot of weed, and fall in love along the way

Kiss me before It's over (if only for a minute) by Bob_loblaws_lawblog

54,2K, Rated E

Evan Buckley is living out his childhood dream as the star hitter for the Philadelphia Phillies. He’s climbing the ranks, improving his stats with every single game – he’s unstoppable.

That is, until the Los Angeles Angels get a new pitcher seemingly out of nowhere. Known for his strong arm and tricky curve balls, Eddie Diaz is one of the few pitchers in the nation who consistently makes Buck strike out, and its infuriating. Even from the sixty feet that separate them between the batter’s box and the pitcher’s mound, the weight of Diaz’s gaze is enough to make Buck’s blood boil.

Because Buck doesn’t get nervous on game day, he never feels calmer than when he steps up to the plate with the bat in his hand – it’s where he belongs. But when he sees Eddie Diaz standing on that mound, his stomach flips and nerves spark across his skin.

Because if there is one thing Buck knows for sure, it is that he hates Eddie Diaz.

… Until he doesn’t.

Traded by princessfbi

23,7K, rated M

Really, it was Lena’s fault. She’d been the one to demand a video when Eddie had finally caved and sent an SOS to the group chat asking if anyone was willing to trade.

“Is anyone interested in trading jerseys with me? Preferably for a smaller size,” Eddie had said because knowing his coworkers, one of them would’ve been a smart ass and gave him an even bigger size. “I ordered an XL because I’m usually a XL but… the way it fits makes me look like I’m fucking one of the players.”

Eddie wasn't trying to go viral. He just wanted to trade his jersey. But then something called Booktok got involved.

Bartender!Eddie Diaz x Hockey Player!Evan Buckley

Snowed Inn by brewrosemilk

31,1K, rated M

Rivaling for a promotion, journalists Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz get sent to a small town where they are each to write a piece on a once illustrious inn and its rich history. For two talented and overconfident authors, it sounds like an easy assignment - but in between a violent snowstorm, blocked roads, heated stares, and a struggling inn, Buck and Eddie may just have to abandon their rivalry and accept each other as partners.

Don't play games (come my way) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

43,1K, Rated E

Buck hates Eddie Diaz.

Ever since his publishing company and Eddie's merged, the man has been nothing but a pain in Buck's ass. The way he nitpicks all of Buck's company emails, the way he spends half his day bickering with Buck, the way he makes Buck's stomach flip and the way he's started haunting Buck's dreams... yeah, it's one hundred percent hate. Definitely. Buck's sure of it.

Because what the hell else could it be?

Falling slowly; sing your melody (I'll sing it loud) by princessfbi

55,3K, Rated E

Buck didn’t like him at first.

Eddie Diaz was all hard lines and strict rules with a bone structure that could cut through glass and scared away his fans. Which... if you asked Bobby, was the point but still!

He also yelled at Buck which was fine. It’s not like it hurt his feelings.

It didn’t.

It didn’t, Maddie!

It also definitely didn’t turn Buck on either. Nope.

Stop it, Maddie!

After a traumatizing home invasion, Bobby Nash decides to hire a bodyguard for his lead singer.

Musician!Buck Bodyguard!Eddie

More fics to be recommended soon!

[multiheadcanons]

100 FOLLOWER SPECIAL: MY FAVORITE TAGS

i…. completely forgot this game takes place in the 70s when i wrote the manicure post. oops. y’all know he would though. come on.

everyone loves heavy is still one of my personal favorites to go back through and read. i love that russian. speaking of which—

i have never thought more about blu heavy on a daily basis since i wrote this like atp that’s just an oc but i need him carnally. as much as i love red heavy, and he is my man, my own characterization of blu heavy makes me… drool. something about a man who is unequivocally, unquestioningly violent who puts the facade of a teddy bear on the surface, as opposed to my red heavy, who is a cold man with a very warm heart buried deep beneath the surface (which is frankly just a very widely accepted view of heavy) i just want him to body slam me into concrete i want the last thing i see to be his crazed smile as he encompasses my head and crushes it between his fingers. i love how much my blu heavy loves violence. i want to eat him while he breaks my ribs one at a time.

we continue on cyclonists s tier tags with a really fucked up fun fact: engie’s model actually has no eyes at all! so any eye color is canon because canonically he ain’t got no eyeballs

continuing on eyeballs, i’ve been in this fandom for a decade lmao i’m sure i picked it up when i was 13 and then committed it to my soul. i think we all collectively agreed on reading glasses heavy in 2015

WHY ARE WE EATING QUAIL EGGS LIKE THIS BRO WHY ARE YOU EATING QUAIL EGGS IF YOU HATE THEM this tag made me screech highkey this is insaaane

we… we hate saxton here. i genuinely hate saxton as a character and can’t even explain why i absolutely detest saxton but if there are no saxton haters i am dead. something about comic seven took me from saxton neutral to “wow…. i actually fucking hate this guy.”

genuinely i regularly think about this tag before my posts go live. i am also licking my fingers i’m so hype for my posts and i’m tickled other people feel the same way like… omg

i rip into medic because i love him so much he makes me sick. i just want to bully him and take his lunch money and stuff him in a locker. and also; snipes is too damn tall to not have like…. the wingspan of an ostrich like don’t slap box him.

and i’m gonna end it on one of my top tags that i think about and giggle over daily:

me too… me too.

anyways lol, thanks for 100 of y’all! so crazy to think anyone except me is interested in my writing! but i hope to not disappoint!

can you believe including everything in the queue we’re at 55 posts? it took us 48 posts to get here! crazy!

anyway. love y’all. be kind. stay posted!

[writing-house-of-m]

Falling for you

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Natasha is in love with you and decides to tell you

A/N: I was so impressed with myself when I came up with the title lol The request can be found here. Comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

Prompt: "Oh, I'm falling in love."

"It was when I saw you giving flowers to Wanda once. I saw the gesture and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The way you looked at her. I wanted someone to look at me like that. I learned afterwards not 'someone,' I wanted you to look at me like that.

"It was as if my mind held up a queue card telling me how I felt about you. I realised, 'Oh, I'm falling in love,' but the more I thought about it the more I realised I've been in love with you for a while and I didn't know what to do."

Natasha started speaking after you made a joke about her playing hide and seek. Nobody knew where she was when you noticed her missing for a while and got curious where she might have been. She was looking out at the view motionless before you got there for you don't know how long.

You regret making your joke.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. Maybe because I'm sick of holding it all in.

"In the red room it was always 'love is just something used to brainwash childish minds', 'A chemical reaction, nothing more' and for the longest time I agreed. I have never experienced it before and didn't think I ever would…

"Until you."

She looks at you emotionally. It's the most vulnerable you have seen her. The 'Black Widow' on the verge of tears because of you,

"Natasha,"

And there is nothing you can say to make her feel better.

"I do love you, just not in the same way. I'm really sorry," you see in the way Natasha drops her head, the devastation she is feeling, "but my heart will always belong to Wanda."

She lets out a sad laugh, looking out at the setting sun in the horizon, orange and pink painting the sky, "Figures," she scoffs, "the person I fall for, already taken," she says, sniffling.

There are a few moments of tense silence before you decide to break it, in hopes to lighten the mood a little, "Well, if it's any consolation Wanda aspires to have your 'hot bod'," you jest, then raise your hands and eyebrows innocently, "her words, not mine."

It does make her laugh but shortly after, silence prevails and you both bask in it. You stay there in each others presence long after darkness takes over and white dots fill the night sky.

…

Shortly after your conversation on the roof you move out of the compound. It was something you and Wanda had been discussing anyway but you thought it would be easier for Natasha if you weren't there. To you it would have felt like you were rubbing your relationship in her face after her confession. But for Natasha, she missed seeing you everyday.

As always life continues, work takes over. Your time together is reduced to when you are assigned to the same missions. Natasha realises quickly her feelings for you will never falter. So she makes the most of the time she gets with you.

It doesn't take long for that to be taken from her as well.

…

Natasha felt your presence missing from this world. Prior to everything that happened, you hadn't been at the compound for the longest time but at least she knew you were out there and happy. But now? There was a gaping hole in the shape of you that was missing and it was unfair for everyone, not just herself.

It is why she makes the decision to go to Vormir.

The world is better with you in it.

Even if she won't be here to witness it.

As she is falling to her demise, the sound of wind rushing past her ears she closes her eyes to see your smiling face.

The memory of you stood on the rooftop trying to make her laugh. The picture can be compared to a piece of artwork with the way the warm setting sunlight hits off your skin and makes your eyes shine.

Natasha is glad to have such a picturesque image of you in her final seconds that she can find comfort in behind her eyelids.

Despite the cold climate and the circumstances her body is filled with warmth knowing she is the reason there is the possibility to bring you back. At least then you will have a chance at starting that family you and Wanda announced.

As that final image slips away along with her consciousness, Natasha thinks about the fact that even though she could never have you. You always had her.

[lorifragolina]

Lean on me

Title: Lean on me

Square & Prompt: C2 "Here, have my coat"

Rating: General

Word Count: 2305

Major Tags: Building relationship, Stubborn Billy, Loving Steve

Summary:Billy is stubborn but needs love, Steve is almost fed up but he loves Billy.

Read it in AO3

Read it below

Steve was a little bothered, again. 

He threw the cig butt away from the window and closed it, shivering from the cold air outside. The room was cold too and he tucked himself under the blankets trying to warm himself up and sleep.

But his cold feet and his confusion prevented him from resting, and he stayed awake, tossing and turning, for hours.

It was supposed he and Billy would sleep together that night. It wasn’t a big deal, Steve was almost always home alone and they spent a lot of nights together, but Billy decided to throw a fit, it wasn’t the first time and Steve started to feel sick and tired. 

They had started dating a couple months before, when both had confessed that their fuck buddies situation felt straitjacketed for both of them. Billy started the topic first, he deserved credit for that, and Steve had been happy and relieved knowing that his love wasn’t one-way. 

When they were only having sex in Steve’s car, he hadn’t noticed all Billy’s peculiar behaviours, or he had ignored them, but now… 

Sometimes Billy was a tough cookie and Steve didn’t know how to get through it. He tried to think it wasn’t personal, but Billy had the special ability to change the topic and avoid the issue, and Steve felt every time less able to close his eyes and don’t think about it. 

Billy had never, and would never accept a helping hand from anyone. 

They decided to meet at the movies that night, and after buying the tickets, Billy noticed that he didn’t have more money in his wallet.

“Oh, shit, it’s true, I loaned twenty bucks to the shitbird, I forgot.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll buy the popcorn, you can buy it next time,” Steve smiled, unaware of walking on thin ice.

“Don’t worry, I can do without for once.”

“It’s not a problem for me,” repeated Steve, joining the queue for the snacks. Billy kept protesting, until they came in front of the bar and Steve ordered two popcorn and soda. 

“I won’t eat it, I warn you,” Billy crossed his arms, and Steve tried to smile again.

“It’s not a big deal, Billy, come on.”

“I say no.”

Steve sighed and canceled the second snack, but he asked for a bigger popcorn bucket. 

Billy walked to their seats in silence, and watched the entire movie with a tough guy face and his arms crossed, without looking a single time at Steve and stubbornly saying no every time Steve tried to offer him his popcorn. 

Before the end of the movie, both were pissed and angry.

“I don’t understand why you must be so whimsical,” snapped Steve when they left the theater.

“And I don’t understand why you always insist, I said no.”

Steve had tried to grab him gently by an arm, to calm him down and resolve the issue.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said.

“You are making it a big deal,” retorted Billy, and looked away. “I’ll go home.”

Steve sighed. “What, Billy? We were supposed to go to my place, come on, let’s grab something to eat and relax, ok?”

Billy blushed and walked to his car to hide his face. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“Come on, Billy, let’s just…”

“I’m not in the mood, ok?”

Billy reached his car and sat inside, while Steve tried to convince him to stop again. Billy freed his arm and closed the door.

“Just leave me alone,” and he skidded away, leaving Steve baffled and irritated.

Billy never accepted help, not to mention asking for it. He never let Steve pay for him, even if Steve didn’t mind; Billy always wanted to split the bill or even pay for everything, not even when he had an emergency like that evening. It was always off-limits and Steve couldn’t convince him to let go. And it wasn’t only about the money: Billy never accepted a cig if he finished his own, or a lift if Steve offered to pick him up or take him places, or help for whatever problem he could have.

I can pay , he always said, I can drive, I can manage. Billy was otherwise sweet, and gentle, and even generous with him, the kids and his friends, but he never showed his needs or his weaknesses; Steve wasn’t able to break down that wall and it was taking its toll in their relationship.

Steve knew that Billy loved him, and Billy knew that Steve loved him; they had started walking hand in hand, lately, Billy didn’t want to hide their displays of affection; he gave gifts to Steve and accepted gladly Steve’s gifts, but only if it wasn’t something that he “needed,” because if he suspected that Steve was trying to help him in any way, he became silent, frowned and he often went away, and Steve was getting tired to walk on eggshells if he distractedly paid the entire meal or if he paid for popcorn if Billy forgot his wallet. 

Steve kept tossing and turning in the bed with all those thoughts swirling in his head, trying to get some sleep and missing Billy, after all.

The next day, Billy was still mad, and greeted him coldly when they met at the arcade. Max and El noticed their strange behaviour, but Max shook her head at El’s look, to avoid her meddling in their business. 

“You can buy me a soda if it makes you feel better,” snapped Steve after a few minutes of silence. 

Billy scoffed and entered the bar, tossing some money on the counter for two cans. 

“Do you think to talk to me or you will stay in silence all day?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Billy replied, aloof.

“I don’t know, maybe that you’re sorry to ruin our date last night?”

“I ruined our date? It was you who insisted…”

“Oh, stop it. I didn’t insist on anything, I just wanted to have a good time with you, watching a movie and grabbing a bite with you.”

“I wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t in the mood,” insisted Billy stubbornly.

“Why, just because you didn’t have money, right? It’s not a problem, I can help when…”

Billy jumped on his feet, hitting the empty can from the bar. “I don’t need any help, do you understand? I don’t want your money or your help, I don’t need it!”

He walked away, but Steve followed him and grabbed his arm outside, in the parking lot. 

“I know you don’t need my help, but I just want…”

“Let me go, I don’t need you!” Billy screamed, and Steve let him go, hurted. He blinked looking at Billy, biting his lips, but after a moment he turned his back and entered the arcade without looking back. 

Billy sat in his car, with his face into his hands, trying not to cry.

“Is there something wrong?” Max approached an upset Steve when he entered alone in the arcade, his face pale and his eyes red.

Steve tried to shake his head, but he could only release a sad sob. 

“What did he do?” Max rolled her eyes, trying to joke a little to lift Steve up, without success. 

Steve shook his head. “Nothing, don’t worry. Nothing serious,” he lied. He didn’t know how serious the thing was, because it wasn’t the first or the second time it happened.

Max came nearer, whispering. “It’s for last night? He wasn't supposed to return home, but… did you fight?”

“Max, don’t worry, really, there is nothing you have to worry about. It’s fine, we’ll be fine, ok?”

Max nodded, still doubtful, and returned to play, even if Steve saw her whispering with El and looking at him.

After a while, Steve went to check on Billy; he didn’t know if he had left and he had to take the girls home, but he found Billy still sitting in his car, his hands on his face, sobbing lightly.

“Billy…” he called softly. 

Billy looked at him and dried his eyes with his hands. 

“Billy, talk to me, ok? I… I don’t want to argue.”

Billy nodded and Steve sat in the passenger seat, but Billy stayed silent for a while, tapping nervously with his foot.

“I… I don’t want to rub my money on your face,” Steve tried to start a conversation, but all he obtained was Billy sobbing louder. “Come on, don’t do this…” he gently patted Billy’s shoulder until he calmed down a little. He tried to talk more carefully to him.

“I just… I just want to help if you are in difficulty… no, let me talk,” Steve continued. “In… in the same way I’m glad when you help me. I mean… there is nothing wrong, Billy, I don’t want to…”

“I can’t!” Cried Billy suddenly, and Steve startled. “I can’t! You don’t have to… If, if I made a mistake… I have to be responsible… I can’t ask you to…” 

Billy kept sobbing for a while, and Steve bit his lips calling himself stupid.

Of course, a word from Billy had been enough to understand all, and Steve felt bad for not understanding it before. Being responsible was what Billy’s father demanded from him, not making mistakes, being prepared or facing the consequences… and that’s why it was so difficult for Billy to let go in that matter. 

Steve felt the rage filling him for Neil’s Hargrove legacy in Billy’s mind and for ruining him so much that he couldn't accept a spare cig in a random moment. 

“Oh, Billy, no… you can… you can count on me, everybody needs some help from time to time… it’s mutual, do you understand? Please let me…”

Max knocked on the car and they jumped for the surprise. It was late and she didn’t know that she had interrupted an important conversation, but Billy seized the moment.

He passed a hand on his face and pulled himself together.

“I have to take them home,” he said sharply, looking at Steve with a hard look. 

Steve snorted and left the car, Billy didn’t say anything else and drove away.

He didn’t try to talk or call Steve the next two days, so Steve had enough and went to ring at his door.

Susan called Billy and he came out from his room with his tank top, looking bothered at Steve.

“What happened?” Billy asked in a plain tone.

“What do you mean? We haven't talked since…”

Max appeared from her room’s door, and Steve bit his lips.

“Let’s go outside,” suggested Billy, and they went out on the patio. 

The air was cold and crispy, and Billy crossed his arms. 

“We were talking the other day and you left, I thought that you would call me.”

“For what? I don’t have anything to say,” Billy lied, and his voice trembled a little. He avoided Steve’s look.

“No? Well I have something to say… I don’t know how to manage it if you don’t want my help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Bullshit!”

“I’m not a sissy lady you have to save, you know, just because you want to be…”

“Stop! Stop it! It’s not what I was talking about, and you know it! We are… we are together, you are important to me…”

Billy turned his face away. “Bullshit,” he hissed.

Steve stopped, feeling hurted and furious equally. Even if he loved Billy, he couldn’t fight alone. He hardened his expression.

“Well if you see it in this way, maybe we have to reconsider our relationship,” he turned his back to Billy and walked away on the lawn.

He heard Billy sobbing softly, and slowed his steps, but he didn’t stop. 

Finally, Billy came down the stairs and stopped behind him.

“What if…” he murmured, and Steve stopped. “What if I… I need you and you… go away?”

“What?” Steve turned again to Billy, and his heart sank seeing the tears running on his face.

“And If I let you… help… and then you… go away…” Billy tried to talk between sobs, shivering for the cold air and the upset.

“I won’t go away…”

“Everyone goes away!” Billy bursted out, as he had bottled that feeling too long and in that moment the lid popped. “Everyone leaves me alone… like her…” Billy sobbed again, louder, and Steve knew. 

He had heard something about Billy’s mother, not much, but enough to know that she had probably been the only person who showed a little care to Billy, and then she abandoned him and left him alone. 

Steve let go of his anger and took Billy inside his arms, brushing his hair sweetly. 

“Billy, no… I… I won’t go away… I will not abandon you, I will not disappear…”

“But what if…” Billy sobbed again.

“I don’t know what will happen in the future, I wish I knew… but I promise, I won’t hurt you, I promise, I’ll try my best, I swear… but you… you have to loosen it up a little… Billy…”

Billy nodded, still sobbing. 

“I love you, Billy, I promise, you’re not weak if you rely on me… or others.”

Billy sniffled and couldn’t hide a big shiver from the cold.

Steve took his jacket off. “Here, have my coat…” he put it on Billy’s shoulders but Billy took it off.

“No, I don’t…” he said, irritated. Steve sighed, and BIlly looked at him, whimpering. “Ok… You’re right, ok. T… Thanks,” he clinged the jacket over his shoulders. 

Steve hugged him again, trying to stop his shaking and  warm him up. He felt Billy’s heart beating fast against his chest, and Billy lost himself inside Steve’s arms. 

“I love you too,” he whispered, almost faintly, but Steve heard it, and he smiled.

For the moment, it was enough.