#so a lot of them still don't
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when to hold 'em
ur honor i love the flower husbands
~
The crown of antlers is in his hands.
He holds it, turns it, examines every angle.
Then places it on his head.
Scott looks up, across the silent plateau, to the darkness that gathers on the other side.
Sìín kuvi ndakuatura nu Ndíoxī.
-
"You've got this!" a little boy shouts, pumping one fist in the air.
Scott rolls his eyes over to Jimmy. "I thought you said this would be private?" he comments archly.
Jimmy shrugs, looking a little sheepish. "Word gets out. Especially to kids."
"Right. And since you and I were the only ones who knew about this, the children found out through. . . ?"
"I have no idea."
There are six or seven children sitting or standing in the long grass of the field, some tens of meters away. Jimmy waves to them. All but one wave back.
Scott pinches the bridge of his nose. "I don't want anyone getting hurt, Jimmy," he bites out.
"You won't hurt anyone," Jimmy insists. "They're far enough away that they aren't even an issue. They just want to see some magic!"
That's the problem.
Scott's curse isn't a party trick. It isn't something to be gawked at and applauded by children. It's a curse, barely controlled, and a very dangerous one at that.
And it isn't just that he doesn't want them getting hurt. That's most of it, of course, but. . . .
Scott really doesn't want an audience. He doesn't want people to see him fail.
(Last time he failed, he was surrounded—by elves and enemies alike.)
Something of his thoughts must show on his face, because Jimmy just makes a sound kind of like a sigh and squeezes his hand.
"You're all right," he says quietly. "I'm not leaving. You can control it when I'm here, right?"
"Control is a strong word," mutters Scott. It implies that he can do a lot more than keep an imaginary door shut.
Not to mention, he hasn't been able to let go of Jimmy. They've learned over the past couple of days that when they separate, Scott loses whatever hold he has. It had been unpleasant that first morning, when Scott woke late to find that Jimmy had already gotten back to work, leaving him coated in frost and ice weighing down the tent.
He really has no control if the magic is untamed without the tamer's touch. In all fairness, Jimmy has more control over the magic than Scott does.
But Jimmy just smiles (so brightly that Scott can't help but reluctantly smile back) and points to a patch of wildflowers a good fifty feet away from them.
"Shoot ice at that," he instructs, and Scott, with another glance at the children and more than a bit of trepidation, raises his hand toward the flowers.
He pushes, releasing a little bit of his hold on the magic, letting it conduct out through his arm, pulsing and freezing and—
Frost and ice shoot from his fingertips in a barrage (and the force has him stumbling back a step), about half of it hitting the flowers and the other half falling around them, with some icicles stabbing into the ground a good several feet away.
Scott quickly reasserts his hold on the magic and pulls his arm close to himself, pressing his side into Jimmy.
It's terrifying, using this magic. This magic that, just a few days past, had been using him.
There's no way of knowing just how much damage he's capable of. Based on what he did at the town, Scott thinks he could practically level a village.
It isn't nice, having that much power.
"Whoa!" a young boy screams, and all the other children join in the excitement, chattering about the magic.
"Nice one!" Jimmy says, dragging Scott over to look, sword bouncing on his back.
The flowers are shredded, heads torn from stems and petals torn from heads. A bit of grass is pulled up in a streak, dirt stark against the yellow stalks of grass. Frost coats the area, shards of ice stabbing into the ground.
Scott feels a little sick, looking at it.
That could have hit a person.
If he hadn't figured out that touching Jimmy gave him a measure of control, he could have killed anyone in the camp.
Jimmy's already tugging him back, probably wanting to practice again. He wants Scott to get good at his aim, and Scott isn't sure if it's so he feels more safe with himself, or so he can be more useful in attacks.
"I'm just a weapon," he says offhandedly. Bit of a fall from king of the elves.
"Come on, now," Jimmy says consolingly. "You're a beautiful weapon."
Scott snorts. "Try that one again."
"My favorite weapon?"
"If I could let go of your hand, I would."
Jimmy grins. "What I'm hearing is I can be as obnoxious as I want, and you can't do anything."
"Oh, you—"
Their flirting is cut off as a child crosses the invisible boundary, skipping up toward them.
"Stay back there," Jimmy commands, voice ringing with sudden authority, stepping forward with an arm out.
Scott glances at him, more to make sure that it's still his Jimmy there than anything else. He forgets, sometimes, that Jimmy actually has power. Not just the power of a ruler, either—some sort of unknown, hidden power had to have played a part in his survival, and his ability to heal others. Scott's seen him heal so many of the survivors that they just rescued, just by pressing a hand to their wounds. Jimmy, somehow, is a living, walking, healing miracle.
As much as they're teasing each other today, Scott can't help but feel a little hollow inside. It's still so hard to be here, to hold the hand of his once-dead betrothed.
Not that he has any other option.
Not that he doesn't want to.
The child halts immediately, waits for Jimmy and Scott to come toward her.
She's a little older than the other children, and one that Scott recognizes—from when, he doesn't know—, her scales like freckles spattered across her cheeks and nose.
"Codfather!" she says, standing at attention. "We've found something."
-
"I'm honestly just surprised it made it all the way down here," Scott muses, turning the satchel over in his hands. Below it, on the table in Jimmy's planning tent, lies the crown of antlers and a thin grey book, instantly recognizable as the one he had forgotten to give Lizzie.
"That would be the enchantments," Jimmy says, leaning on Scott's shoulder. When Scott turns his head to raise an eyebrow at him, he elaborates.
"Well, look, see the way the stag kind of shimmers? That's a protection kind of enchantment, to keep the bag from tearing. And the cod is a homebound enchantment—wherever you are, it'll find you."
Scott blinks.
How on earth would he be able to tell that just by looking at it?
"Are you making things up?" he asks dubiously.
Jimmy frowns. "What? No. My people showed me every step of the process when they were making this. We had a promising young Cod—Everarda—she was going to Gem's Academy, and she enchanted the thread. And Theo attached the strap—I think Jesse did part of the bag itself, and—"
"And the crown," Scott murmurs, picking it up with more reverence than he's shown it in some time.
It still shines, despite traveling down river for weeks and ending up buried in the mud. Its glow, perhaps, is more due to its divinity than any amount of polish.
How had it found him here?
Aeor, no doubt.
Scott's been kind of ignoring his god, as of late. Sure, he's said a couple of prayers here and there—some of them sobbing, silent prayers in his frozen world, others rote repetition and dull words—but he hasn't exactly been the most faithful of chosen ones.
It isn't that he doesn't respect Aeor. He still worships his god. It's just . . . easier, he supposes, to pretend as if this is all there is. His story ends here, and he dwindles away.
Yet every night, he tosses and turns, struck by recurring dreams. Dreams that have an oddly golden quality, dreams in which he has the crown of antlers and is alone against Xornoth.
Dreams in which he thinks in a tongue that is unrecognizable to him.
He's been ignoring the dreams, hoping them to be nothing—and in so doing, he's been ignoring hints from his god.
The fact that the crown is here again, one of the artifacts necessary to defeat Xornoth—and he doesn't think he really needs the boots anymore—feels like a bit more than a hint.
His stomach swoops unpleasantly. If Aeor's sending him messages of this magnitude, he clearly wants Scott to get going.
It's not like Scott can take on Xornoth with nothing changing. Xornoth almost killed him last time. He still has no idea what he's doing. Not to mention, Xornoth is surely even more powerful by this point, surrounded by soldiers and Rivendell's magic and who knows what else. There's no chance of survival.
Yet Aeor is pushing him. Aeor is telling him to go up against his brother another time and fail. Aeor is sending him to his doom.
And Scott's going to do it.
He doesn't want to. He wants to stay here, with Jimmy, in this little temporary civilization forever. He wants to forget about the world outside, forget that everything will likely collapse in a matter of months.
He doesn't want to die.
He doesn't want to fail again.
But he has been feeling like he's living on borrowed time.
And he can rub his thumb along the light scars on Jimmy's knuckles and wonder if he feels the same.
"What's this?" Jimmy asks, drawing Scott from his morbid spiraling by picking up the grey book.
"I—I don't know," Scott says, still reeling from his moment of revelation. "Something Oceanic, I think. I meant to give it to Lizzie."
He's going to die. He's being sent to his death like a lamb to the slaughter.
The long hours spent in Gem's secret library seem like a lifetime ago—a time when devastation was fresh, when Jimmy was dead yet the world seemed more hopeful than it does now. He barely recalls how they found the book in the first place.
"And it stayed in your bag the whole time," Jimmy muses, turning it this way and that. "What's it about?"
"I don't know, I couldn't read it."
"Hm." Jimmy flips the book open to the first page, while Scott gently sets the crown back down and turns to the young teen who had found the items.
"And there was nothing else there?" he questions.
She shakes her head. "Nothing that I saw, Lord Smajor. I can show you the place, if you like."
It's unlikely that the boots would have made it there. It's not like they had some sort of tracking spell, after all. It's more likely Lizzie found them, washed up on one of her islands.
"That won't be necessary," he tells the girl. "If anyone finds magical boots that burn to the touch, however, find me."
She nods, takes a few cautious steps back. Scott waits expectantly for Jimmy to dismiss her, but when he doesn't, she just shrugs and bounds off.
Scott looks back to Jimmy, who has stepped uncomfortably far away, the fingers of his right hand just brushing Scott's waist. Scott steps more into reach, peeks over at the book that Jimmy is so intently studying.
It looks much the same as he remembers, if a bit more wet. Strange, faded blue letters, made large with thick strokes. Not much of a conceivable pattern to split up the words (unless it's a character based language?), or even a way to tell if it's written from right to left or not.
But Jimmy is scrutinizing this old little book, mouth moving slightly as his eyes slowly travel across the page.
"Can you read it?" Scott asks incredulously. Jimmy can barely read Common, how on Aeor's great earth is he reading whatever this is?
"I—I think so?" Jimmy says, looking up from the book. "I've never seen this language before. At least, not that I can remember."
Right. Amnesia.
"I think I used to be able to write in this," continues Jimmy, voice hushed as his eyes return to the book. "That's crazy. How old is this?"
"Very," Scott says. Then, still confused, "Can amnesia make it so that you forget an entire language?"
Jimmy doesn't answer. Instead, he points a shaking finger at a point on the page, letting go of Scott (who presses his arm to Jimmy's, maintaining their vital contact) to do so.
What's so exciting about that part? Jimmy's suddenly gone white as mountain's snow, eyes watering as if he's about to cry. What could possibly bring him to tears so quickly? Is this a book of prophecies? Is Jimmy reading about the doubtless end that awaits them?
But Jimmy, voice weak, doesn't say anything like that. Instead, he says, looking over at Scott, "This . . . this is about me."
-
"It's a journal, of some kind," Jimmy explains, later, sitting on the grass in his tent, a plate (which was really more of a carefully sanded piece of wood) of berries and two bowls of thin soup between them. "I think Lizzie wrote it."
Scott frowns. "Lizzie? Are you sure?"
That just can't be possible. Gem's library had been sealed for likely hundreds of years. Jimmy's only—well, he only showed up ten years ago, and Lizzie—Lizzie's been around for a while, but fish hybrids don't live for longer than the average human lifespan.
Right? Lizzie's been. . . .
"Lizzie joined the House Blossom Alliance over twenty years ago," Scott says aloud. He was there when she showed up to her first meeting, he remembers that. She'd seemed young, small, hair falling into her face, clearly dressed in her nicest of clothing—which was almost meager compared to the glory of some of the other empires.
Still, she had commanded the respect of all of them, speaking boldly and making firm promises. Scott remembers being begrudgingly impressed, though not quite as much as the boy Mezelean Prince, who repeatedly urged his father (in a voice a bit too loud to be a whisper) to arrange an alliance.
If Lizzie had only inherited her kingdom at that age, then there was no way she had been able to write whatever that book was. Neither she nor Jimmy would even be born for centuries.
"Lizzie joined then . . . and none of us really knew much about the Ocean Kingdom, but we'd seen their buildings begin to rise above the water and she seemed legitimate. . . . And then you showed up about a decade later and started reaching out to empires, didn't you?"
"Why are you reciting history to me?"
Scott snorts. "This is barely history, more of a contemporary review," he tells Jimmy, adjusting so that Jimmy's heel isn't digging into his thigh. They've contorted themselves a bit oddly, perhaps, one of Jimmy's legs reaching around their dinner to keep physical contact with Scott, but there's only so long that they can hold hands in a day.
"I just don't understand how the books came to be in Gem's hidden library."
"Maybe it wasn't all that hidden?" Jimmy suggests. "Maybe Lizzie found it and put these books in."
"Are you sure Lizzie wrote it?"
"Yeah, it's her handwriting."
"That is definitely not her handwriting," Scott says, pointing to the open book beside Jimmy. "That isn't anyone's handwriting. That's an ancient Oceanic script that nobody remembers."
"I remember it," Jimmy says, popping a berry into his mouth.
"Yes, but you don't really, right? You can read it, and write it, but you don't know how you know it or where you learned it. How do you know it even talks about you?"
"Lizzie's writing to me in parts of it."
"How do you know it's you? And not someone else named Jimmy?"
Jimmy frowns. "It's not exactly my name, you know. It's a word that means me. Nobody else would have that."
It does not make sense.
None of this makes any sense.
"Sounds inefficient for a language," Scott murmurs absently, ignoring the pang in his chest as he remembers that Jimmy died and now is back so what does sense even matter?
"Right, it changed to use names as the Ocean Kingdom grew. Barely anybody even knew this form of it by the time. . . ."
Jimmy trails off, eyes unfocusing with a concerning suddenness. His lips move ever so slightly, forming unsaid words.
"Jimmy?" tries Scott, reaching over to tap on his knee. Jimmy blinks, eyes refocusing on Scott.
"Sorry, what was I saying?" he asks, brows furrowed.
And if that isn't strange, Scott doesn't know what is.
"Something about the language developing over time?" Scott prompts.
Jimmy bites his lip, looks askance. "I don't . . . I don't know. I don't remember. I don't. . . ."
He doesn't look like he's going to cry, exactly, but he certainly looks troubled, and his eyes catch on the book.
"None of it makes sense," he says quietly, and Scott could not agree more. "Lizzie wrote that. I know she wrote that. I don't know how. And it's . . . I need to talk to her."
"It's from before you lost your memory, isn't it?" Scott asks after a moment. He isn't sure how far he can push this, but he feels a sense of idle curiosity. What does the book say? Why does it worry Jimmy? How did it get in the Crystal Cliffs secret library, unrecorded and forgotten?
Jimmy nods. "It's gonna eat at me, Scott," he says, already sounding tired. "Lizzie's writing about all sorts of things that I don't remember. They just don't make sense. I need to talk to her, figure out if she remembers any of this."
"You're saying we need to go to the Ocean Kingdom."
Again, Jimmy nods. "Yep. At some point." He looks away, sighs, briefly looking far too old yet much too young to be leading a camp of refugees, let alone a kingdom.
Jimmy's always had moments like that, when his bearing makes it obvious to Scott that Jimmy stumbled into this role ten years ago and gave it his all, despite his lack of experience.
He doesn't deserve this—war, death, pain.
Jimmy doesn't deserve any of this.
But Jimmy doesn't dwell, even if Scott does. Instead, he looks back up to meet Scott's eyes, lips quirked in a smile. "What about you? What's with the crown?"
Right. The crown.
Scott swallows.
He and Jimmy have talked a little. Just enough to air out any pressing concerns, for Scott to realize that his conflicting feelings were not unwarranted but unneeded, and for Jimmy to accept that Scott is struggling and help him feel assured of his love as often as he can.
But they haven't talked much, despite literally never leaving one another's side. They've been so busy keeping the camp running and planning attacks and defenses and experimenting with Scott's curse that they haven't been able to sit down and talk, like they're doing now.
Does Scott tell him what it means?
Does Scott tell him that by sending the crown, Aeor intends for Scott to go up against Xornoth again, just to fail as he already has? Does he tell Jimmy that this little respite was nice, but it can't last forever?
Maybe he can put it off. Maybe he can stay with Jimmy just a little bit longer, in the relative peace of the camp.
It's selfish. Scott ought to at least try to fight Xornoth right now, if only for the elves in captivity.
But Scott's kind of tired of trying to save the world. Let someone else do it, for a change.
He forces a smile, fiddles with a berry between his fingers. "It's just a Rivendell treasure. You needn't worry about it."
He'll stay, Scott decides, as Jimmy gives him a soft, loving smile. He'll stay as long as he can.
-
Which isn't very long.
As it turns out, their little frozen-town trick from the week before didn't go over well with Mythland, and it's only the next morning that a woman comes running to the planning tent, declaring that she'd seen three unfamiliar men searching for the camp while she was on patrol. That means that Mythland knows roundabouts where the first camp is (the newly-formed second is off to the northeast, and as far as they know, hasn't been discovered), and the probability of attack is high.
It's time to move, then. Scott spends all morning running from place to place with Jimmy, helping children and disabled and those unwilling to fight pack up and prepare to move to the second camp, from whence a proper plan will be formed.
It isn't terribly easy to mobilize a camp of hundreds of people in only one day. Many of them, in the short month or so that they've been here, have settled in as if it were their home. Some of the families have collected possessions, strangely enough—Scott watches an elderly man argue with Jimmy for almost ten minutes in some strange Oceanic dialect over not wanting to part with his chair. Jimmy responds patiently, but Scott can feel his body tense more and more as he responds in the dolphin-like clicks and whistles of the dialect.
Finally, Jimmy pats the man on the shoulder and says something in a low voice to him, then moves on.
"What'd you say?" asks Scott, hanging on to Jimmy's arm as they walk away, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of hurried packing.
"I told him he can leave the chair or die in it, I don't care," Jimmy says breezily, and Scott almost laughs.
"One of these days you need to learn diplomacy."
"I said I'd go find his husband, he can be diplomatic."
It takes an hour to find him, however, because at every turn, Jimmy is pulled aside and asked a question, called over for help, or stopped to listen to some sort of plan or explanation. The camp is quickly emptying, guides hurrying back and forth between the camps to lead more people to the safer location.
"I hope we aren't being watched," Scott says offhandedly, watching a group of a dozen or so Cod head out, laden with makeshift packs. "Then they'd find the location of the other camp, too."
Jimmy doesn't reply, just points beyond the treeline, out toward the outskirts of their massive camp. There, past the chaos of destroying shelters and striking tents, Scott sees several people in light armor, each carrying a weapon, making circles around the camp.
"Patrol is doubled," Jimmy says shortly. "All the way down to Camp Two."
"How many people are in Camp Two?"
"We have . . . what, two hundred joining them?" Jimmy guesses, readjusting the sword strapped to his back. "So they'll be up to around five hundred. It'll drop, though, as they send us fighters tomorrow."
They're leaving tomorrow, too. Everyone who is left in the camp tomorrow at noon (the able fighters, that is) will be marching out. The plan is to head out toward the Ocean Kingdom, add their little force of four hundred to Lizzie's armies, and from there plan with Lizzie a way to try and defeat Xornoth.
Scott should feel better about it. He'd felt for so long that Jimmy's small goals were pointless, after all.
But he knows now that it's hopeless to try and sway this war. Scott feels like there's a rain cloud looming over their heads, ready to strike down with lightning and set the camp ablaze. Death surely lurks just beyond their line of sight.
There's no way to defeat Xornoth. His power will only grow, the God of Darkness fed by the fear and torture he brings to the land.
Maybe Aeor wants Scott to take a shot at it just so that he can go to the afterlife with full honor. Elvish history and religious lore is fairly vague on anything other than the separation of the afterlife, but it's always had a sense of peace and happiness. Maybe Aeor knows that Scott is bound to die, and wants to hurry it along so that he can get some peace for once.
For a god that sends him frustrating hints all the time, he's really outdone himself with this one.
He's going to die. Aeor is sending him to his death.
Jimmy notices something's wrong, somehow. Jimmy, who never notices anything, even when he's not busy with mobilizing an entire camp over the space of a day and a half, notices that something is wrong, which means that Scott isn't hiding his thoughts very well.
He used to be so much better at this. Back before he met Jimmy.
But Jimmy frowns at some point during the day, rubs his thumb over Scott's knuckles, and asks how he's doing.
And when Scott asks why Jimmy would even be concerned, Jimmy points out his wings and how stiff they are, and the way his fingers are repeatedly tapping against his side, and the anxious frown on his lips, and asks if he's having sensory overload.
No, he's just thinking about his own imminent death. Nothing to worry about there.
He wants Jimmy to live. He wants Jimmy to gather his little force and leave the land of the Empires, go somewhere without demons and death, somewhere his people can rebuild.
He doesn't want Jimmy to be captured and subjected to torture, or killed, or whatever evil is in mind for him.
He wants Jimmy to be happy.
If it comes to it, Scott decides right then and there, he'll split off from the group. He'll leave a note, telling Jimmy to get out when it all goes wrong, and fly to Rivendell alone, ready to confront his demon brother once and for all.
And then he'll die.
Right.
He's going to die.
-
They set out at noon the next day, Scott's satchel uncomfortably heavy with the weight of both the crown and general travel supplies—some food, first aid, and a bowl and spoon. Jimmy hikes beside him at the front of the pack, the mysterious runes carved into the old leather of the hilt of his sword sparkling in the sun.
If Scott had been in charge of this expedition to the Ocean Kingdom, he would have set out at dusk rather than noon, the hot sun beating down on their backs. He barely gets half an hour into the march before shrugging off his coat and draping it over his head, sweat dripping into his eyes.
Elves aren't made for heat, not noonday, marching-through-tall-prairie-grass, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky kind of heat. It's hot, but worse than that it's humid, so Scott has to deal with not only the burning sun but also the thick air that threatens to choke him. He stops frequently to take a sip from the waterskin bumping against his hip, to wipe the sweat from his brow, to pray for clouds, and he can only hope that his skin isn't burning beyond recognition.
At least last time he trekked through the plains, he was covered in ice. Now he's overheating, out of breath, and just generally exhausted.
And they haven't even been walking for a full day.
His wings itch to take flight, glide through the air and feel the wind on his face, make it to the Ocean Kingdom in under an hour instead of the several day journey that the force has embarked on.
They're walking the whole way, despite the fact that the nearby river would be a much faster way to travel for Cod. Jimmy says that the river is being watched intently, and that four hundred rebels is a little conspicuous. They'll be expected to take the river route, not go around.
And Scott also suspects that Jimmy doesn't want to leave anyone behind. Not all of the rebels are native Cod, and not all are capable of breathing underwater—like him, for example.
Not that Jimmy would change the plans and safety of his entire camp for just Scott.
They walk all afternoon in even warmer weather (and it can't really be that warm, because all of the Cod are doing fine, but Scott is really just not suited for this), and they're about to press onward after a blessed break for supper when one of the scouts sent on ahead comes running back, a little dot on the rolling yellow-green plains ahead that gradually becomes larger.
When they arrive, huffing and puffing, green in the face, they salute Jimmy and bow a little to Scott, accepting a drink of water.
"There's a small Mythland camp up ahead," they manage after a moment to catch their breath, sweeping their sweaty brown bangs out of their eyes. "An expedition or scouting group, probably. Fifty soldiers at most."
"We stop here to rest," Jimmy decides immediately, without waiting to consult the two Cod that he's chosen to be his seconds-in-command. "We'll continue in a couple of hours. Can you lead me to the camp?"
The young Cod nods, and before Scott knows it, they're guiding him and Jimmy away, a group of five of the stealthiest Cod accompanying them.
Scott doesn't really think it's a good idea to go spying—not when both he and Jimmy are rather high-profile, and letting go of Jimmy could have disastrous consequences making it impossible to split up—but who is he to make the rules around here?
And maybe he just doesn't want to go because his legs and back ache from the journey thus far, and his excessive clothing is all stuck to him with his own sweat.
Or maybe he doesn't want to go because he's going to die in a matter of days and he wants to spend as much time talking to Jimmy as possible instead of silent surveillance.
But as dusk falls and the world darkens, Scott finds himself lying on his belly at the peak of a small, ridge-like hill, peering down at a small camp of Mythland soldiers.
There's probably fifty men or so, most of whom are preparing or eating an evening meal between the six rows of tents. None of them are in armor, milling around the two campfires on either end of the camp, over each of which is a pot of something cooking (probably a stew).
"Fire is good," Jimmy murmurs. "It'll throw off their vision. We can probably get pretty close."
He points to a tent on the edge of the second row away from them, a bit bigger than the others, which two men are currently exiting. “I bet the man in charge is there. I want to know what his plans are.”
"Can we risk it?" Scott whispers back, tearing his eyes away from the camp to focus on Jimmy's shadowed face, two bright streaks across his vision from the light of the fires. "If we get caught, the whole operation is done for."
Jimmy clicks his tongue, reaffirms his grip on Scott's hand. "If we get caught, you fly us out of there, okay?"
"What? Jimmy, I haven't flown in weeks—my wings were broken, I don't even know if they'll support my weight, let alone—"
"Then we won't get caught," Jimmy says simply.
Right. Because that's the way that works.
Still, Scott only sighs and nods, and after a few long moments of silent communication with the other five rebels, Jimmy and Scott crawl back down the hill, sliding back on hands and knees until they're far enough back that they can stand fully.
They wait there, silent, until dark has fully fallen and the air cools, various nighttime critters hopping out of their hiding places to make their voices heard. Scott leaps back in surprise when a field mouse crawls across his foot, briefly losing contact with Jimmy and sending an icicle straight through the mouse, skewering it to the ground.
Jimmy sucks his breath in between his teeth. Scott cringes, gripping Jimmy's bicep and feeling his control acclimate again.
He hates this. He hates not being in control. He hates being cursed.
"Just . . . try not to do that again?" Jimmy says after a moment.
Scott nods wordlessly.
They don't say anything after that, and soon enough they can't really see anything beyond a foot ahead of them, and Jimmy begins to lead the way around the curve of the hill.
It isn't too difficult to move through the tall grass quietly, crouched over to hide in it, but Scott finds himself gritting his teeth every time Jimmy stumbles over a stalk or tramples some grass. Can't he just be silent? Scott has massive wings behind him and he isn't getting caught on anything, it can't be that hard.
He has to remind himself every couple of steps that different people have different skills. Elves have light feet and are better at sneaking than most, after all. It isn't Jimmy's fault that he's a flat-footed Cod.
"Left," Jimmy breathes in his ear, and Scott freezes. "There's someone on watch."
Scott looks around, trying to get his eyes to acclimate to the darkness. The firelight is throwing off his heightened vision (just as Jimmy had predicted it would for the enemy) , but he can maybe see a figure standing out in the grass to their right.
Now that he knows the man is there, if he pays attention he can hear him. He can hear the slight wheeze that accompanies each breath, the almost-silent rustle of clothing.
They shift left, Scott keeping an eye on the shadowy figure, making sure he doesn't head this way.
But as they move, Scott's still-alert ears pick up another sound, distant and almost indistinct.
Ba-thump. . . . Ba-thump. . . . Ba-thump. . . .
It might be his imagination, but it seems to be growing louder.
"Do you hear something?" Scott ventures to whisper, glancing around to make sure the guard doesn't hear him. Jimmy shrugs.
"No. What is it?"
He doesn't see anything. But he can still hear the rhythmic thudding, ever so slightly louder. Maybe it's his heartbeat?
Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.
Jimmy continues moving, bent over almost double, masked by the tall grass. Scott follows, their fingers linked and connecting them, swallowing back his bad feeling.
It sounds like a drum. A beating drum coming closer and closer.
Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump—
"Are you—" Scott starts, before something clicks in his memory and he knows exactly what the sound is.
Uh-oh.
Ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump—
Scott drags Jimmy back by his tunic, pulling him down on his back in the grass, the sword in its scabbard jostling against Scott's arm (flattened under Jimmy as they both lie supine on the ground). Scott presses his free hand to Jimmy's mouth, silencing the question about to burst from his lips.
Just in time, as a horse and rider come barreling through, barely two meters away from them, hooves thudding against the grass and saddlebags clanking. The horse gallops across the field to the camp, which is still far enough away that they can't hear anything more than the general bustle of a camp getting ready for bed.
Scott carefully sits back up once he's sure the danger has passed (and Jimmy does too, with considerably more noise), watches as the rider dismounts, tying the horse's reins to the post that's been set up at the edge of camp, next to the pack ponies that are lazily munching on the grass.
"He looks important," Jimmy whispers.
He does. The rider is wearing the official white surcoat of Mythland, a polished leather satchel strapped across his chest. He doesn't even unsaddle his horse, just continues on into the camp, stride slightly bowlegged.
Neither of them even have to say anything. Both Jimmy and Scott just move forward in sync, zigzagging from left to right, slower and slower the closer they get to the camp as the grass grows shorter, until they find themselves right behind the tent that the rider entered, the larger one that is luckily off to the side rather than in the center.
It's dangerous. There's a tent behind them a little ways, and others in their line of sight—made especially risky by the firelight emanating from one of the campfires, only a row away from them.
Still, nobody seems to be wandering about over here, and Scott trusts that either he'll hear them coming or Aeor will protect them.
Now, though, he needs to focus.
"Can you hear anything?" whispers Jimmy. Scott shushes him near silently, presses his ear up against the canvas. Jimmy does the same, his bad ear out toward the camp.
A couple of indistinguishable murmurings—pleasantries, if Scott had to guess—then the most obnoxious slurping Scott has ever heard—
"I don't believe I understand," a man's voice says, gruff and low, muffled through the tent wall. "The king wants us to abandon our course?"
"For the time being," a younger voice—the rider, Scott guesses—says.
"But we just sent our report. We've found the rebel camp. We need to attack before they move. I was expecting two thousand soldiers, not a messenger telling me to head to the coast."
"Everyone is being sent to the coast," the rider responds. "The rebel camp will still be here later."
"Or they'll all go hide in their little badger-holes. We could lose the Codlands if they get bold."
A chuckle. "It wouldn't take much to re-conquer them, I assure you. Especially without their ruler."
Scott squeezes Jimmy's hand. Jimmy squeezes back.
"I don't know," the first man says. "Something strange is going on with those rebels. Did you hear about Medokrill?"
"I don't bother myself with the names of their primitive villages."
"Froze. Overnight. Three men got frostbite."
"The weather of this place does not—"
"And in the morning, most of the Cod had vanished." The squeaking of a chair, another horrid slurp. "Now, I don't like that sort of coincidence. The town freezes—in August, mind—and that same night, the rebels strike and sneak everyone out of there. And only Medokrill froze. Even the prairie around it was untouched."
"What do you want me to do about it?" the rider asks after a moment. The other man chuckles.
"Keep it quiet, ideally. I don't know who or what has that kind of power, but I'm thinking the blame lies with those fairies. They might not be so neutral, after all.”
“I'm sure His Majesty would find that quite informative.”
“Remember that we don't want to scare our men, or give the Cod hope. Keep it quiet. But otherwise, you could get me my men so I can quash this rebellion."
The rider clicks his tongue. "The command is coming straight from His Majesty. Everyone is going to the coast for an attack."
"What could be so important—"
"The Ocean Queen is gone," the rider says.
Jimmy stiffens beside Scott.
"She'll be arriving in Rivendell early tomorrow morning. The King intends to . . . delay her return, if you take my meaning. We attack while she's gone. By the time the day ends, we should have the upper hand and the fish will surrender within the week."
"Hm." The other man goes silent for a long moment. "I don't know how I feel about that. Tomorrow?"
"You're the last group to know, unfortunately. You should make it to the river in under an hour, and from there it will be several days' march to the coast itself. With any luck, the fighting will be done before you even arrive."
A long, drawn-out sigh. "And I don't suppose my little espionage group was small enough to escape the King's attention?"
"Every man, General. This could be the end of the war."
"Right. Well, it'll be morning before I can get my men moving. That wouldn't be too much of an issue, would it?"
"I suppose I might have stopped for the night before reaching your camp. Officially, I arrived tomorrow morning."
"Sure. And none of that stuff about the freeze leaves this tent, all right?"
"And you never heard a thing about the Ocean Queen's permanent little trip."
Another slurp that sets Scott's teeth on edge.
"Agreed. Have you been to the Capital lately?"
"Not in several weeks. Why?"
"Just wondering how the new market law is going."
"Ah. Well, I can tell you. . . ."
Jimmy tugs, lightly, on Scott's sleeve, and after a moment longer of listening to make sure they don't return to the earlier topic, Scott allows himself to be pulled.
They sneak back through the grass, not stopped by the sight of any sentry, off toward their vantage hill, around the side of it and to the back, where they find the other five rebels that they'd brought with them sitting cross-legged, conversing in whispers and pulling apart stalks of grass.
"Back to camp," Jimmy says shortly when they look up, and walks straight past them, pulling Scott with him.
Without a word, they follow him, stealing off in the direction of their resting soldiers, several hills away.
"What are we—" Scott whispers, but Jimmy shakes his head.
"Later."
Later.
How much later?
This is kind of important news, in Scott's opinion!
If Sausage is concentrating all his forces on the Ocean Kingdom because Lizzie's going to be in Rivendell for some reason, their whole mission is for nothing. They won't be able to strengthen her armies if they can't reach the ocean, but they can't go back—soon they'll be closed in, Mythland having conquered the Ocean Kingdom, so maybe they can flee to the Overgrown—but the general already suspects that the Overgrown is aiding them, and joining their ranks would only lead to an invasion—
"Who's there?" a guard calls, peering out into the darkness.
"It's us, Lanale," Jimmy says, and Scott stops to survey their rebel force.
It's too small. It's absolutely tiny. There's approximately four hundred of them, some as young as fourteen, ready to fight to try and free their country.
And that captain had just casually ordered two thousand soldiers to entirely wipe out their little force.
There's nothing they can do to help Lizzie against all of Mythland's armies. They won't even make a difference. They surely can't join the Overgrown, as it would lead to an attack. They can't stay here, not with Mythlanders combing the prairies for them.
He has no idea what Jimmy intends to do. He can't see any way out.
Yet Jimmy moves with purpose, and Scotr walks with him, picking through sleeping rebels, until Jimmy finds the woman he wants and shakes her awake.
She stretches, stands slowly, pushes her hair back. "Codfather," she yawns, clearly not-quite awake. "What do you need?"
"You're a good leader, Millie," Jimmy says, skipping pleasantries. "I need you to be in charge while I'm gone."
Millie blinks. "Gone? Gone where? What's happening?"
"I'm putting you and Emilio in charge," Jimmy explains, rather impatiently. "There's been a change in plans. You need to split up. You take most of the fighters over the river to the Overgrown, all right? Volunteer to join Katherine's army. Emilio needs to take fifty men and go back to Camp Two. Emilio will gather everyone who is able, and lead them to the Overgrown. Got it? Everyone is going to House Blossom."
"I—what?"
"Jimmy—" Scott starts—what is he talking about? That will only make things worse, and where will Jimmy be?—but Jimmy doesn't stop.
"Scott and I are leaving right now to Rivendell," he says firmly. "Can I trust you to lead these people to the Overgrown?"
Rivendell?
How?
Millie nods, all traces of sleepiness gone. "Of course, Codfather. And Emilio as well. They're a good fish."
Jimmy claps her on the shoulder once before turning away, pulling Scott back in the direction they came from.
"Wait!" Millie whisper-shouts, and Jimmy pauses, looks over his shoulder.
Millie gives him a grim nod. "Codspeed."
Jimmy nods back, once, then continues on.
"I'm sorry, what?" demands Scott, once they've retraced their path through the dozing force. "I—what are we—Rivendell, Jimmy? What—"
"We have to warn her," Jimmy says, and that may be true, but they can't just abandon the people here to go on a rescue mission miles and lifetimes away!
"Right, but it's logistically impossible—we ought to be headed to the Ocean Kingdom, warn her military commander, bef—"
"He literally told us where she was gonna be, we have to go out there—"
"He told us Rivendell! We don't know where in Rivendell, and more importantly—we can't get to Rivendell! How are we—"
"It's my sister, Scott," Jimmy says, and Scott falls silent at the desperate look on his face. He thinks he can see, by the moonlight, the sparkle of a tear on his cheek, somehow distinguishable from the shine of scales pushing through the scars on his face.
He got those scars, Scott remembers, when he fell through the Void and the nothing tore away pieces his skin, dissolving everything that was Jimmy.
Scott promised himself then, as his wings beat desperately and tears streamed down his face and he carried the unmoving body of his fiancé in his arms, that he would do anything for Jimmy, as long as he survived.
"It's my sister," Jimmy says again now, and Scott's eyes flick up from his scars to his beautiful, serious, brown eyes. "I'm not gonna leave her. I'm not gonna let Sausage murder her."
Scott glances away.
If they reveal themselves, Scott will have to face Xornoth.
If they save Lizzie, Scott will die.
And maybe that's dramatizing it a little bit, but it's true. If they go out into the public, if everyone knows that they're alive, then Xornoth will come after them.
Instead of, maybe, several more weeks with Jimmy, Scott's timeline has dropped down to a matter of days��hours, even.
He can't leave Jimmy so soon. He just found him again.
But one more look at Jimmy's pleading, teary eyes, and Scott knows that he can't leave Lizzie to die. She doesn't have a chance against the demon.
No one does, but he can at least hold Xornoth off while the others get to safety.
He'll never see Jimmy again.
"All right," he says, even as it breaks his heart. "We'll do it. But how do you intend on getting to Rivendell?"
Jimmy's eyes slowly slide up, up to the half moon, to the stars surrounding it. "Well, remember my escape plan from earlier?"
"Jimmy."
#esmp#empires smp#empires s1#flower husbands#scott smajor#jimmy solidarity#trust au#krcu#mas writes#052124#hiatus posting still#there's honestly no real tws#so i'm not sure how many languages jimmy should speak#like i have him at 4 currently#but i think he probably speaks many more#his weird magic powers help him#tbh not to lore-post#but i don't think that cod ppl commonly spoke common#before the past 10 years or so#so a lot of them still don't#which brings the stereotype of unintelligence#but nobody ever questioned how jimmy is fluent?#even tho most of his people struggle with it#anyway ty for reading#love you guys#(and hi from oasis! :))
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it got turned into a 17" x14" pillow instead haha
#rug hooking#artists on tumblr#fiber art#hnnnndgf the way the phone photo colors don't match up with how I see it is driving me a little nuts#every time but oh well >:'D#like the greens aren't as dull looking or as sharply contrasted in the detail photos#I'm glad I hoarded/saved the yarn that I precut for latchhook (which I abandoned after learning about rug hooking lmao)#because it makes for a very squishy pillow#(but also I think I def. could've stuffed in a litttle bit more before sewing it closed + didn't have a lot left)#blocked like...three other things when I was blocking this one#and the ones with non wool/funky materials were completely fine so that's nice to know haha#the back is an old flannel topsheet that nobody was using#anyways -knocks the fuck out-#edit: bb nephew recognized it as a cat so all is well/it passed hahah#also whoever said in tags that it looks great sensory wise to touch (or something like that my brain's a little fried still hhshs)#they are correct lMAO (even in general/ non pillow form I keep scrubbing my hands over them haha)#and when I was making the pillow I kept squishing it#muffled laugh
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Not that I know anything about alcohol
#deltarune#cw alcohol#alcohol#tw vomit#deltarune spamton#deltarune jevil#deltarune gerson#deltarune seam#seam#seam deltarune#deltarune ramb#Spamton#jevil#deltarune old man#spamton deltarune#jevil deltarune#gerson deltarune#ramb deltarune#my art#i love gerson so much btw. i don't talk about chapter 4 a lot cus its STILL heavy for me. i cant handle it#for comparison ive played through the entirety of chapter 3 over 20 times already#meanwhile I've only played through chapter 4 once when it came out. i cant do it again it affects me more than i can handle rn#like emotionally. gsjdhdjkh.... like what im playing it and im destroyed and then like. i go to work? function in society? how?#anyway. i hope you think this is in character for them all cus im super proud of it for that yippiee#Spamton losing first cus his loser#it being unclear if gerson really felt like he couldn't continue (cus old) or if he stopped cus he wanted the others to duke it out and win#jevil being a wild card and there not even being a panel acknowledging ramb#and seam winning cus seam is the best#Spamton is throwing up spamlings btw#(queued post)
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she's a terror. obviously
#arcane#arcane league of legends#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik dads#i don't think it's possible for them to have a child who doesn't have something VERY wrong with them#in my mind she's CRAZY book smart and uses it to cause problems#her dad is an engineer her other dad is a biochemist she is a criminal#i love that she's inherited so many of jayce's mannerisms that she manages to still look a Lot like him#that last one is a talis face for sure#as a former terrible child you can 100% tell exactly how much trouble you're in by which version of your name they use
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don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#sorry it's even scribblier than usual :') hopefully my chickenscratch is legible#anyway come here and join me in the corner where we go to be embarrassing about anime characters#just. between riddle and trey's dreams i've been thinking a lot about how#trey knew this kid for like two months when he was nine and then never really got over him or how their friendship ended#which. honestly. understandable given the circumstances#and then when they finally met again riddle acted like they'd never met before and neither he nor trey ever intended trey to be his vice#but every time riddle talks about his childhood post-incident it's basically#'oh yeah i constantly thought about trey and che'nya and fantasized about still being friends with them! this is fine and normal'#(there's a bit in one of his birthday cards where he talks about crossword puzzles and shit man that one got me)#idk. i can't put this into words very well#just...the implications that riddle was actively resisting trey's friendship#(presumably because it ended SUPER badly last time and he's learned that if he shows he wants something it gets taken away from him)#and trey had to work REALLY hard to just to get to the point they were at by the time canon starts#that was progress somehow#y'all can call him boring all you want but trey's defining feature really is that he keeps being like#'everything's fine :) this isn't a big deal :) i don't care that much'#(trey on the inside: THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL THAT I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT AND I WILL NEVER LET IT GO)#anyway i continue to be absolutely murdered by the timing of riddlepunzel directly after this#riddle's line about not wanting to keep standing in front of a door that's never going to open...#hey. hey silly gacha game about anime disney boys.#you are not actually allowed to do this to me#oh shit oh damn i'm out of tags and i haven't even talked about cater yet. NO BUT I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS THERE TOO --#(i am crushed under a falling safe looney tunes style)
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#loop#I truly mean it when I say that this was the best game I have played since Disco Elysium.#It pulls off some of the best examples of Ludonarritive Harmony in a video game...possibly ever?#Not to mention just...wow. What a great story. What a tale of twists and introspection. What a tale about the need for home and connection#I know many of you have trusted me before with media recommendations. Trust me one more time.#Do you want to experience the torment of being in a timeloop? And *still* have fun and feel like your time is being respected?#PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!#Do you yearn for complex characters and love unravelling mysteries? PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!!!!#Please heed the content warnings; I took them a little too lightly on my playthrough! They are there for a reason! Don't be like me!#This game means a lot to me and so many others. On the small chance the dev sees this (they are on tumblr after all):#Thank you so much for all your hard work in creating this game and seeing the project through.#It has been a year for us fans but many years for you. So thank you!#I hope it has been a joyful year for you! Watching as people descend into shrieks of agony from playing your game.#It's good! It made me vomit blood. I had so much fun! I felt like I was torturing the protagonist when I played it. I loved it! I cried.
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Late-night conversations 🫖💛💙
#mmelart#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk crk#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla crk#pure vanilla cookie#truthless recluse#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#vanilla milkshake#Does TR x SOT ship have a separate name or is it just shadowvanilla?#I like them a lot too so I wonder- they have a completely different dynamic and ngl it's underrated#Anyway I'm still struggling a bit with the art style- I like it but I still wanna tweak it and experiment#So don't mind my art style changing occasionally XD
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Part of the reason I'm so amused when people think trans people are ultra-sensitive is remembering that when I was in middle school (thirteen at the oldest), I was out as trans, and the school administration called me into their office to tell me one of my teachers was "uncomfortable" with how trans I was. What was the thing I did to be "too trans"? Just saying I'm a boy. Literally that was too much for him and he needed the administration to tell me personally that he was offended.
If that's what a calm, rational person looks like... I think I'll settle with being the insane guy. You couldn't pay me any amount of money to be offended at a child for who they are. And if you're an adult who is like that, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, but you're a loser.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#maybe it's ageist but i'm too grown to care what kids are up to#and if you're grown and you don't have that mindset... yeah. i'm judging you#my first instinct when i see a kid who is open about who they and they're happy and no one is harmed is to be happy for them#oftentimes i've been proud for a kid being so real to who they are. but i don't care enough to THINK about feeling any negative thing#you know the worst part? i didn't even have anything against the guy. i still LIKED him#i KNEW he didn't like that i existed as i was and i still took the mature road. and he was grown??? yeah. i'm judging that.#you'd think an adult wouldn't want to be out-matured by someone half their age but man. that's not at all right ime#it's absolutely bizarre to me that adults are seen as inherently mature. you see the way adults act?#because that's not what's going on for a LOT of adults#anyway to any younger folk out there: no it's not normal for an adult to be offended at who you are. they shouldn't be giving a fuck#if you're a trans kid and adults are offended by that just know that they represent the most immature small-minded people#they will never grow as much as you will because THEY are inhibiting their own growth. they are CHOOSING mediocrity#you have the chance to grow into something twice what they are. you are able to be more than they EVER will be. let yourself have that#let yourself grow to the heavens while they wither into their own self-made hell
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Samposting + Dan Heng, March 7th, and Cosmo! (my Trailblazer) These are some of my earliest drawings for HSR (back from 2023~)
[No romance Included]
#insertsomethinawesome#Honkai star rail#Sampo Koski#March 7th#Dan Heng#Cosmo (trailblazer oc)#March 7th hsr#Dan heng hsr#Sampo Hsr#Cosmo (trailblazer oc) hsr#idk if my tag for Cosmo is consistent but eeeeeh i'll figure it out eventually#isa's fanart#April2025#I don't love the faces on all of these but!!! That is okay.#I've learned a lot about drawing since i made these so its kinda satisfying to realize that#Sampo.... i love him a lot#I like a lot of these still too despite them being really old#i show that dan heng and cosmo one to friends a lot#sparketh joy#also ah yes. the early days of me deciding how i wanted Sampo's undershirt. thing. whatever that abomination is. to look.#at this point i am at a consensus with myself on it
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can i interest anyone in an addispam and a spamspam
bonus:
#my art#deltarune#spamton#tenna#deltarune spamton#deltarune tenna#spamtenna#hesitated a lot on posting this because it's another one i don't. really like that much.#but i'm still just throwing things out there to try and keep up my streak and break ocd#so i could have spent several more hours on this 'fixing' it but i'd rather not go through the agonizing routine#anyway i spent like 2 days just drawing nothing but spams figuring out what i wanted to do with him for An Idea#maybe i'll clean up some more of those and post them in a sketch dump#i like what i did with him even if i'm really not that happy with the art itself
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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