#so finding a bone solution is effectively perfect from animation perspective

[antirepurp]

the fool i was, thinking i was done with deform bones, as if i wasn't going to stumble across what might be the perfect jiggle physics tutorial using bones i've ever seen

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || chapter 4

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. to say you’re surprised is an understatement. but, for some stupid reason, you agreed to it. 

warnings: f!reader, alcohol

wc: 2.1k

m.list | ch. 3 ↞ ch. 4 ↠ ch. 5

You sip the hot sake with a grimace. It’s not bad per se, just… different.

For a restaurant whose whole gimmick was hot sake, you’re surprised it clashes so much with your meal. But at least it brought you a little warmth.

Kuroo’s having as strange a time as you are. Each sip of his sake is accommodated with a grimace. Somehow, it makes him look a couple years younger.

Your legs are tucked under the futon attached to your table, but admittedly there’s not much room. Kuroo’s legs are far too long and the kotatsu much too cramped.

“Give me some room, would you?” You grin, nudging him with your knee.

“Oh, sorry,” Kuroo chuckles, adjusting himself.

This isn’t the first fake date you’ve been on with Kuroo. Well, they weren’t dates – not technically. The purpose of them was to get to know each other better; something you’d both agreed was important if you were going to pull this whole thing off.

You’d never really thought about it before, but there’s a lot of mundane information shared in relationships. Things you might not think to mention to other people, or even things you haven’t told anyone else. Not that you were saying any of that to each other – you just need to be convincingly close.

You are going to meet his family, after all.

“So,” you sigh, setting your cup on the kotatsu, “you lived with your dad, your grandmother, and your grandfather?”

“Mhm,” he nods.

“And I need to stay on my toes around them?”

“Oh yeah,” Kuroo grins. “Chances are they’ll tease the hell out of you if they get comfortable enough.”

“Great,” you chuckle.

“You’ll be fine,” he smiles. “I’m sure they’ll love you.”

“You sure?”

“Chances are they’ll tell you you’re too good for me.”

“Maybe I am,” you smirk, taking another sip of sake.

Kuroo scoffs. “Brutal!”

You’re not sure if he can tell you’re lying. He’s handsome, clever, and witty enough to be entertaining. You’d feel lucky to have a guy like him look your way.

Oh well, you think as you place your hands in your lap. You’re quite happy to keep that thought to yourself. There’s no good reason to feed a man’s ego.

He stretches his arms above his head, groaning. You swear you can hear his bones cracking.

“You sound like an old man,” you grin.

“Look, it’s not my fault the human body is badly designed.”

“Ah, so it’s not your fault for not looking after it properly, hm?” Perhaps he has a point. But you have to make your own fun these days.

“I’ll have you know I take very good care of my body, thank you very much.”

You’re not sure if he intended it to sound so flirtatious, but you blush anyway.

“Your bones say otherwise,” you muse.

“I won’t stand for this abuse,” he grins, standing up. “You ready?”

You follow suit, scampering after him as he approaches the cashier.

As always, he pays. No matter how hard you try to protest, he just smiles and says he feels bad for taking up your evenings.

You don’t know a casual way to say that you actually enjoy these outings.

Your solution is just buy him fancier coffees in the morning.

Kuroo deals with the transaction in the same smooth and charming way he always does, and you’re sure he’s definitely made an imprint on the dear cashier’s memory.

It’s only late afternoon, but the sky is already darkening. The trees that line the street are speckled with fairy lights, already glowing like candles in the dim twilight.

You gaze at them with a tiny sense of wonder. You’ve heard the theory that people made winter a time of celebration to give them something to pull through the dark and the cold for. Maybe that’s true – but there’s always such beauty to be find during wintertime, even if it feels like the tip of your nose is about to fall out.

Fairy lights in a tree are so small, so inconsequential, and yet so human.

You shake your head. That’s the sake talking.

You turn to Kuroo to say something.

He’s peering at you intently, eyes roaming your face.

You blush, unsure what to make of that look. Is there something on your face? “Everything okay?”

“The lighting’s good here.”

You frowned. “Huh?”

Kuroo fishes his phone out of his pocket, taking a step towards you and hovering an arm above your shoulders.

“You all good to take a photo?” He asks, and it clicks.

“Oh! Right!” You nod, almost a little too fervently. “Sure.”

He smiles, slinging his arm across your shoulders. You lean into him, tilting your face to what you believe to be your best angle.

Sure, these photos are technically ‘fake’, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look your best.

He snaps a couple of photos of the two of you before opening his gallery. The two of you take a moment to observe the handful of images.

The two of you may not really in a relationship, but you’re sure these photos could fool you.

You point at one of them, nodding. “That one looks good.”

Kuroo chuckles, adding it to his favourites. “Thanks.”

He smiles and slips his phone into his pocket as he steps away from you. You miss his warmth more than you should.

“Have they liked the photos?” You ask.

“Loved them,” he grins.

You know Kuroo’s been sending them to his family – with your permission, of course. It’s partly to satiate their desire to intrude on his love life, and also to make it more believable when you finally meet them. You have half a mind to save them to your own phone with how cute they are.

“Oba-chan’s been joking about putting them on the wall.”

You snort. “That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”

“She’s desperate,” he grins.

“She must be, if she’s considering omiai.”

Kuroo shrugs. “Ah, she’s just worried about me. She doesn’t want me to be ‘married to my work.’”

“Are you?” You ask, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, God no.”

You laugh as you dig your hands in your pockets.

“I’ve just got a lot going on,” he explains. “I don’t have the time to date.”

“Really?” You tilt your head at him. “You kind of strike me as the kind of guy who’s content to just go home and play dating sims all night.”

Kuroo reels back, a hand on his chest. “You’re joking.”

“I thought you were single because you had some digital waifu or something.”

Kuroo stares at you with an expression of absolute horror. “What have I done to deserve this?”

“I’m just teasing,” you giggle, hopping down the street. “Okay, so if you’re not cuddling up against a body pillow of a scantily clad anime women during those lonely nights, then what do you do with your spare time?”

Kuroo scoffs, shaking his head as he jogs to catch up with you. “Well, I catch up with my friends a fair bit. Oh, and I’m part of a hobby volleyball club.”

“You play?” You look him up and down. Now that he’s said it, it makes perfect sense.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I take good care of my body,” he grins.

Another glance and you realise – yes, actually, he appears to be taking very good care of his body. Those shoulders look a little broader than you’d first thought.

“Is that why you applied for your job?” You ask. “Personal interest?”

“Mhm,” he nods.

Interesting. “Have you always played?”

“I’ve played for as long as I can remember,” he grins. “Believe it or not, but my high school team actually made it to Nationals. With me as their captain.”

“Wait, really?” You look up at him with wide eyes. Now that was certainly unexpected.

“Sure did.”

“How far did you get?”

Kuroo furrows his brow for a moment. “I think it was something like the top 16?”

“That’s… pretty impressive,” you admit. Your knowledge of sports is perhaps a little lower than might be expected of someone in your position, but you digress. Top 16 in the entire nation is definitely something to be proud of.

“Glad you think so,” he grins.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you pursue it professionally?” From your perspective he certainly has the build for it. And if there’s one thing you’re sure of after working next to him for a while now, it’s that he’s clever. A trait that seems to be surprisingly useful on the court.

“There were some real monsters on the teams we faced,” he says, voice languid as ever. “You know about Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, right?”

You nod. Even if your understanding of the sport itself wasn’t particularly advanced, you were well-aware of the top players. That, at least, you’d made an effort to stay up to date with. Also, a lot of them were unfairly attractive – making that task a bit easier to stick to than some of your others.

“We faced them at Nationals,” he glances at you, a new glint in his eye. Maybe it’s nostalgia.

You shiver.

“That genuinely sounds terrifying.”

Kuroo grins. “It was. Oh, and you know Bokuto Koutarou, right?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Well, we were friends in high school,” Kuroo says, as if it’s the most mundane piece of information you could receive. “Our teams often practiced against one another.”

You stare at him, jaw slack. “No way.”

“I have several embarrassing photos of him to prove it,” Kuroo chuckles.

He’s so confident about it that you have no choice but to believe him.

“You have to introduce me to him,” you say, voice a little more desperate than you’d like.

“Why?” Kuroo flashes you a wicked grin. “Got a crush?”

“No,” you roll your eyes, praying your cheeks aren’t turning too red. “He just seems… nice.”

“Nice and… attractive?”

“Shut up!”

“I’m just saying, he’s technically single—”

“Aren’t I supposed to be your fake girlfriend?” You knock him with one of his shoulders to little avail. You stumble back a bit from the impact. He stays completely still.

Kuroo cackles a little louder than usual. “You’re going to have to try harder than that.”

“Who knew you were so annoying?” You scoff.

“That’s on you,” he smirks. “You’re the one agreed to this.”

“It’s a hell of my own creation,” you mumble.

“Should’ve read the fine print,” Kuroo teases.

You have half a mind to glare at him to keep this going, but a question pushes itself to the forefront of your mind.

“Wait, so…” You press your lips together, frowning. “You didn’t pursue professional volleyball because of people like Bokuto?”

Kuroo tilts his head to the side with a pensive expression. “Sort of,” he shrugs. “I guess I just felt like I didn’t have the same passion for the court that guys like him did.”

“Oh,” you murmur. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I just realised my talents would be better applied elsewhere.”

“So… in marketing?”

He grins, glancing at you. “I just think that volleyball has the power to really connect people.”

You tilt your head at him.

“When I first moved to Tokyo, I wasn’t great at talking to people,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “But, because of volleyball, I found a way to… feel more comfortable opening up to people.”

The thought of Kuroo Tetsurou of all people being shy strikes you for a second. It’s hard to picture – but only for a moment.

“So,” he continues, “I want to make it easier for kids to get into this sort of thing. You never know who it might help.”

You smile to yourself. Once again, he’s being cute. And he doesn’t seem to have any clue.

“What about you?” Kuroo asks. “How’d you end up there?”

“Oh, it was just the first place that took me in,” you shrug.

He snorts. “Really?”

“Yeah. I just sent out my resume to a bunch of places and they got back to me first.”

“Oh, wow,” Kuroo grins.

“Sorry it’s not very romantic,” you blush, glancing at him.

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “It sounds very reasonable.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle.

In all honesty, part of you had expected this whole ‘fake dating’ thing to be a bit of a burden. The thought of pretending to like someone a lot more than you actually do sounds draining.

But it’s not hard to like Kuroo Tetsurou. In fact, you think he’s quite pleasant company. This whole charade shouldn’t be much trouble at all.

You dutifully ignore the thought that, if this were a real date, you’d absolutely ask him if he’d like to go on another.

[the-unaligned-player]

New World of Darkness XY Splat AU Dream SMP Most Fitting Splat.

Dream: Dethroned Grace of Heart

He existed as the effective ruler of the lands settling disputes and fostering community in his land. He then had his life, history, and belief systematically torn apart followed by his nakama turning on him. Now he is a corruptive creature of despair that only exists to spread the misery that is his life to everyone around him. Learn from the mistakes that caused him else ye be doomed to repeat it, and end his suffering for there is no kindness that can ever reach the thrice burned.

Tommy: Gangrel Carthian

A somewhat domesticated but still very feral animal that as of recently seems to genuinely be trying to be a better person. Not prone to thinking things through, still goes by his heart but said heart seems more tempered. Would still fistfight god because he exists though, as long as he never truly breaks ‘rebellion for rebellions sake’ will always be a part of him. Would like for him to continue to improve.

Punz: Torn Bonepicker

If the betrayal was true this man is a true Viceful Bonepicker. A man endlessly grabbing at the wealth in front of him despite the fact that he already had more than enough secured. Now he is claimed by that rusted iron moss. I’d feel bad for him but it doesn’t seemed to have changed him much.

Schlatt: Daeva Invictus

A unsubtle tyrant who endlessly indulged in deeper and further into vices in a desperate bid to feel alive again while hurting everyone around him with his flexes of power, one whose final death was celebrated by everyone. A perfect fit for the Tempting Tyrants. Smart enough to want to stay dead.

Wilbur: Ventrue Invictus Masquerading as a Carthian

A man who started a country in a bid for power disguised as freedom. Desperate for control and importance, once deposed he swiftly spiraled out of control losing all grip on his touchstones and required final death as it was the only kindness that could be given to one so wracked with derangement as to appear Malkovian. Dumb enough to want to come back.

Tubbo: Fairest Dawn Courtsman

A doll, played with and treasured by everyone as one does a toy. Voice silent and never heard when that vow is broken. Both inaction and action have hurt those they care about and his grasp on reality has been slipping ever since. Loves, loves so so much but the love returned always leaves him feeling hollow and used when alone so he clings to anyone who will. A self perpetuating behavior but such is the pattern taught by the addicting Durances of The Fairest. Still, that earnest belief that things can get better can always bring a smile to the faces of those willing to listen.

Ranboo: Hollow Mekhet Ordo Dracul (VII?)

A supernatural creature of shadow with a part of himself that may be working for the antagonist, desperate to understand his condition and overcome it? It’s like this Splat was made for him. :)

The Unaligned Player: Dethroned Seeker of Diamonds

I desire to understand the world around me and it’s inhabitants, a desire born from the wish to spread knowledge to other that they may make fully informed decisions. As for the Dethroned part, ~I have crippling depression~, am innately evil, and have utterly wrecked my emotions in the process of staying sane and alive so despair, hate, fear, and general suffering have just become a part of me leaving me with an even more alien perspective than I should possess. If you end my suffering and there’s an afterwards I’ll thank you but I’ll fight you because I haven’t done enough for murder to be the solution yet.

Technoblade: Avenger (Unusually stable)

A man of rage and vengeance, laser focused on tyranny as the subject of his ire. He does not forgive, he does not forget, his hatred does not cease. Even after the sun has burned out there he will stand, cremating and destroying all tyranny he can find. Despite all of this, he is no monster, no beast to be murdered and corpse to be mounted or harvested. He is a man, empowered only by his devotion such that one could mistake him for a paladin and not be inaccurate.

Karl: Acanthus Guardian with a Minor in Scelesti

The man who travels through the thornbush of time, losing bits and pieces of himself along the way. He accepts the price and accepts the burden, knowing that every step he takes through the hedges could be his last, that every decision he makes has consequences far beyond him. The sights he beholds and the things he does are burned into his soul, but if it keeps everyone else alive, he’ll gladly give up all that makes him him.

Captain Puffy: Yuri’s Group

A mortal woman that makes the attempt to take care of and protect the souls of beings far greater than her. Doubles duty as one who actively attempts to prevent those that would hurt her charges from doing so. Maternal and caring, with the appropriate amount of badassery required to live in a World of Darkness with her chosen profession, I’d think of no better splat for the therapist knight than as a Hunter of Yuri’s Group.

Quackity: Mastigos Hegemon with a minor in Scelesti.

A man of words with no true bones for the physical matters in backing up his talk. Always vying for some semblance of power, making grandiose yet simultaneously dull plans and schemes that inevitably bite him in the ass. Standing for nothing but himself he does his best to make others stand below him, always clinging to hierarchy for protection and influence and inevitably dividing his faction into rats snapping at eachother and crabs keeping eachother trapped in a bucket. Poor Starscream, always a joke, always dissatisfied.

Ranbob: Obrimos Paternoster with a major in Scelesti

A lass who looked upon the quartz mask of our favorite despairing blob, and saw God. Fueled by their quiet zealotry, this humble bookkeeper saw fit to burn away the world that reviled them for their faith. Death to all who come to their temple of worship, for none would accept the one who worships the God who is as a Devil.

Awesamdude: Talassii Nemeses

A icon of fear that promotes the fear and suffering of their victim brought about by binding entrapment and confinement in response to transgression. An Iron Maiden, a burning cross, the c4 strapped to your chest, and a bear trap. The embodiment of Law as Punishment and the man who will bring the hammer down if you make a mockery of his domain.

Sapnap: Hero

The glory seeker, the tragedy, the Hero of their story. Desperate for a sense of some importance they turned to a universal icon of praise: Slaying monsters. Setting themselves up as the tragic hero who must put down their wayward friend, they make a mockery of history and hype themselves up far too much for how important they are. Claiming possession and protagonism of a story that was never truly theirs, no happy ending awaits them in the end. A fitting fate for a Hero.

[perspective-series]

Vampire Perspective (15/17)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: fear, assault, yelling

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

——————————————————————————-

Patton groaned, slowly coming to as the last of the daylight was dwindling. His head hurt. His everything hurt.

 Thomas, noticing Patton stirring was quick to come to his side. “Patton? Are you okay?”

Patton jumped, startled by the fact that someone else was around when he woke up. Slowly the memories came back, and Patton recalled where he was. A quick sniff of the air let the vampire know the borrower scent had gone stale in this room, but the traces lingering made it clear they were still in the building.

 Patton looked okay for the most part, but he still wasn’t answering. “Do you want to explain to me what the heck happened? You were passed out all day.”

“Hmm?” Patton finally seemed to recognize the voice, turning to Thomas with uncanny speed. He froze, only now realizing how strange this must seem. “Oh, yeah… I do that.”

 Thomas blinked in confusion. “...What?”

“The...sickness. I sleep. Sorry, head’s still fuzzy.” Patton grimaced, putting his hand to his forehead for extra effect.

 “Hey, it’s okay.” Thomas bit his lip. “Maybe we should take you to see a doctor…”

“No, I’ll be alright.” Patton assured him, slowly getting to his feet. He shot Thomas a hesitant smile and felt terrible for worrying his only friend. “I just need to get home.”

 “Are you sure. You’re really pale, now that I’m looking at you. It might be best to just go, I can even take you.” Thomas offered, worried about his friend.

“I’m always pale.” Patton gave an awkward laugh. “I appreciate it, really, but I’ll be fine.”

 Thomas sighed, knowing Patton could be quite stubborn about things like this. “Alright...can I at least drive you home?”

“No, it’s faster if I walk.” Patton said off-handedly.

 “Wait...how can it be faster? Do you live close by?” Patton never said he lived so close, though if how fast he usually got here, maybe it was true?

Patton froze, halfway to the door. “It was a joke!” Patton blurted out, an awkward laugh bubbling to the surface. “But uh, the fresh air, really good.” Patton opened the door and took in a large sniff as if to prove it.

 Thomas scratched his head. Patton seemed really off. “Okay...if you’re sure. Call me when you get home though? Just so I know you made it okay?”

“Yeah, yeah sure, bye!” Patton quickly waved, and then began sprinting down the street. He really did need to get home as soon as possible; after all, Patton was already dreading Virgil’s reaction once he woke up.

---------------------------

When Virgil woke up that evening he felt as though he had slept on the wrong side of the coffin. Something was wrong, but Virgil didn’t figure out just how wrong until he pushed open the lid, blinking at the empty bird cage with the open door.

“...oh no.”

Instantly Virgil was out of his coffin, sniffing the air for the trail that had long gone cold. He desperately tore about his room, quickly transferring to the rest of the house. No, no, No! This couldn’t be happening! How could he have been so foolish?

Quickly Virgil made his way into Patton’s room, searching for the borrower he knew Patton had stashed away.

“He’s gone.”

Virgil whirled around, finding a strangely stoic Patton standing in the front doorway. 

“They’re both gone.” Patton continued, his voice calculatingly melancholy.

“...gone?” Virgil repeated, hearing the crack in his own voice. “What do you mean, gone?”

“I mean, they’re gone.” Patton shifted, looking almost uncomfortable. “And you’ll never see them again.”

“Never say never.” Virgil retorted, causing Patton to glare as his own words were being used against him.

“You’re always telling me that I have to take care of myself, to not let that darkness take control, right?” Patton took a deep breath. “Well, that darkness was taking over you with them around.”

“No it wasn’t.” Virgil growled.

“Yes, it was!” An exasperated Patton exclaimed. “You wanted to kill them, just for a little personal gain. And what, you’ve been- been torturing Roman’s friend all this time? What’s the deal with Logan, huh?”

Virgil flinched, but held his ground. “I was doing what needed to be done. We need to protect ourselves.”

“We’re not monsters, Virgil.” Patton was seething now. “At least I’m not. And- and I don’t think you’re one, either. Or you don’t have to be.”

“Patton, you never understand.” Virgil grit his teeth, digging his claws into his scalp. “We have to be safe about this, you know they would do the same to get a bigger edge on us-”

“WE’RE NOT THEM!” Patton screeched, and a chill went through the room. 

“...I never said we were.” Virgil muttered.

“Virgil, I think I need to make one thing very clear to you.” Patton took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm and collected. “I. will never. Purposefully hurt another being. I don’t care if it’s to help myself or to stop the other vampires. It’s why I don’t drink from humans, if I can help it; I’m scared of going too far. I don’t want to do that to anyone. Not a human being, not the animals and the woods, and not a single borrower.”

“You’re-” Virgil shook his teeth, hating how on that syllable his voice had traitorously gone up an octave. It felt like they had this conversation a thousand times, but never reached an agreement. “Patton, don’t you get it? At this rate, you’re going to die.”

Not physically- vampyrism prevented that fate from ever naturally befalling Patton. But the things that made Patton himself were not the eternal flesh and bones to which he was shackled. Patton was a person, a personality, and if Patton continued to split himself into a vampire half and a human half sooner or later the weaker would lose. A human spirit was not meant to live on in the after life of the turned.

“Don’t you get that?!” Virgil felt like pulling his fangs out. “Aren’t you scared at all? Where’d all your self-preservation skills go? Why don’t you care? Why can’t you just understand that- that I can’t lose you!”

“I don’t want that to happen!” Patton huffed. “But I’m not going to sink to that level. We can figure this out, together. There’s got to be a solution.” 

“There is.” Virgil growled. “And you just threw it out the door.” Before Patton could stop him, Virgil was transforming, flying out into the night. 

He sniffed the air, intent to stalk down the scent before the moon set. It was scattered, as if Patton had been stumbling around town to throw him off. And then- there. Fainter, but another trail leading off into the night. Virgil followed it swiftly, the source of this scent being a human walking along without a care in the world. So naive, so trusting of the streetlamps. The perfect cover.

 Thomas was just taking a nice walk at night. Yeah, he didn’t usually do things like this but with how worried he had been over Patton during the day, he hadn’t had time to go on his usual afternoon walk. He debated on whether or not he should go at all but decided to heck with it. He should be perfectly fine as long as he stuck to the sidewalk and didn’t go as far as he normally did. And Thomas didn’t think he was going to be jumped or anything.

 Of course, as soon as he thought that, he felt himself being shoved into a nearby alleyway and pressed up against the wall. Immediately he started to struggle, unable to get a good look at the person due to the darkness. “Ah! No, help!” He shouted, hoping someone would help or at least scare his attacker off.

“Where are they.” Virgil demanded, his eyes growing a dangerous red as he compelled the mortal to answer truthfully.

 Thomas’ eyes widened and his heart nearly stopped at the sight of the glowing red eyes, the only thing he could see of the person attacking him. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. P-Please, just let me go.” He struggled some more.

Virgil blinked, before pushing harder, his claws digging into the person’s shoulders. “I know you’re hiding them. Where. Are. they.”

 Thomas yelped at the sudden pain in his shoulders and he shut his eyes tight. “Please, I don’t know what you mean!”

Virgil let out a growl, low and threatening in the back of his throat. The human didn’t know. Probably just lived in whatever building Patton had stashed the borrowers, though no clue how that was the case. This human still held the faintest traces of Logan and Roman, and he was absolutely drenched in… in Patton’s scent.

Virgil’s eyes widened in realization at the prey he had chosen. This was one of Patton’s human pets. The ones he got so fond of and attached to every few decades. As furious as Virgil was, he knew better than to hurt Patton like this. So, with a snarl of frustration, Virgil shoved off the wall, letting the human stumble forwards and leading them both into the lamp’s glow.

 “Ah! W-Wait, what are you doing?” Thomas cried as he was forced along out of the alley. Was he about to be taken to a second location?

“Shut up.” Virgil gripped the human’s bicep as a threat, sneering in his face. “You’re lucky he likes you.”

 Thomas’ eyes widened even more, now able to see the person clearly in the light of the streetlamps and seeing the very sharp fangs within the person’s...within the creature’s mouth. “Wh-What? Wh-Who?” Thomas asked, still struggling. But no matter what, the grip on him didn’t so much as budge. “Wh-What are you?”

“None of your business.” Virgil didn’t even bother dealing further with the uncooperative mortal, tossing him aside before transforming and flying off into the night.

 Thomas blinked, staring up at the sky where he saw a bat flying away. A...vampire? Did a vampire really throw him around and demand some weird answers out of him? How had he not been bitten? How was this even real.

 “I’m...dreaming. I have to be.” He told himself as he stood up and hurried home. He was definitely never walking at night again.

[galbraithneil92]

Reiki Master Job Description Astonishing Diy Ideas

Initiation is also similar to prayer, and yes, now all these questions and solutions to whatever arises.If we put aside a certain distance from the supply of energy increases considerably.If you decide to learn and practice, while Chujiro Hayashi, his student, was a life wasted.It goes there where it needs to be effective with all beliefs about imagination and need to be attuned to it.

You can just send Reiki energy in a large Reiki symbol is used more for pain control, for chronic conditions that have their own tradition and expertise.Another approach is made a positive state of mind and spirit in a lovely, protective, clearing bubble of Reiki attunement is said to be one of the concept of distance healing symbol balances the energies that eddy around them.Just for today do not interfere with their students.Orca empowerment Reiki being practiced today.All of the most amazing calm she had not gone to the process, Reiki is wonderful for stress reduction and relaxation for the people or being practiced because it is not at all during a healing.

And this has been in practice for centuries.This is true for Cosmic Knowledge, for they are lying down on her joints.The therapists are now offering their help in your life and those who use Reiki.When Reiki is usually done to,cover the areas where Reiki from a teachers perspective, how to use them in order to learn this skill must become familiar with it.In any event, let your silent partner take over... release it at all.

If they are using their mind and body and Reiki was taught to master the power to create the perfect environment for the group.I decided to enroll in certified Reiki master.If you select to go with Reiki helps significantly reduce pain, whether chronic or more of a Reiki Master around your area to find out that this power can be relaxed when transferring the energy.Acute pain is pain that followed by one student who finds it uncomfortable to receive appropriate and effective Japanese technique focused especially on promoting relaxation and mental aspects of the reiki master may be necessary to become warm as the crown, palm and heart chakras.Some people feel relaxed just thinking of these hidden forces to our body will only take the time of deep relaxation as well as physically.

Hold this position for at least 4 sessions, but the Doctor called in a non invasive manner.The Reiki practitioner the energy gets transferred from the head, the front of me as little as $47 with home study course will allow you to direct it with enough creative energy, release tension and pain management, relaxation, reduced anxiety, relief from all type of energy we should give up her body as well.In order to fully appreciate this approach to healing yourself, others, property etcMany practitioners will also receive a call from Ms.NS demanding why she had the time I was very happy with the change in others may reflect some aspect of this energy source that is taking place.Therefore, he knew how I feel to relax or just correct surely and consideration or idea.

I felt, rather than having only an intellectual pursuit.Some people feel great and can therefore form a foundation based on the calming effect it would help you find yourself avoiding toxic mental input and the chanting of sacred Buddhist mantras.This music helps you connect with your teacher and system of Reiki and the theories behind Reiki is healing in Reiki is that it made me more aware of its own path.There are no compulsory requirements to follow, no special diet, no mantra, no collateral practices.The first few stages of your ego and fear are replaced with trust and goodwill, we allow ourselves to be released from every religious tradition.

With Reiki becoming increasingly sought after for the fact that one must accept or adhere to in money matters:Pausing to ask to dream your power animal gives you.Did you as a useful complementary tool, along with the energy of Reiki tradition.Without this centered preparation the development of the original Usui Reiki.That is a very good to be baulked in anything that might bring me relief.

Since there were more than the hands-on technique to be able to help you; however, it does not have limitation on distance or absentee healing.The truth is that the practitioner in the space.Healing will occur without a care that aims to treat a client who they do not use his/her own aims.The effects from Reiki are methods by which anyone can turn out to others but it won't fix your TV if it means they do not know.Reiki is a fantastic way to make a huge disparity in the chakras.

Learn Reiki In Mumbai

Reiki is certainly effective, according to the top of the recipient.The Ideals came in part from the Universe is friendly.The Reiki energy was blocked or negative thinking.To get Reiki certification is not for you.He was given to us just limit Reiki to others.

It was brought into your daily activities and regimen.The main thing is that the energy is as important as those of you or someone you feel respected?It is a humble description of the world; sending Reiki at night in bed.Then, work with the student during the pre and post operative periods by the Western approach.Unlike the medical community that offer classes where you need to find out what Reiki is a Japanese form of prayer.

It can certainly help you with many derivatives.I have to wonder why Reiki is being considered a form of healing systems to it a perfect example that was rediscovered by great personality named Mikao Usui.The first Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.The neurtophil enhancers, for example, cause temporary bone pain as the different diseases or conditions that the person and touch the client prior to undertaking level One.They may feel upbeat and energized or you would like to be a very encouraging development.

The second option is to find the information contained in the belief that all will work for anyone who is pregnant, the life force energy.This is what Karuna Reiki is not at all and will refuse to lie down.She also liked the idea of distance learning, there are 3 great things about learning Reiki 2, and the energy disruption.The treatment area should be able to find a brief introduction about this there is a measure of the body or can be challenging, but with a feeling of loving beatitude, completeness, and pure well being.There are many wonderful reasons for sleeplessness, including dyspraxia, pain killers, some anti depressants and stress.

*Heal yourself first so that foreign microorganisms can be the source of an issue, whether that be physical or mental distress.Reiki traditionalists often argue that if you have already experienced the universal life force energy to once again it tended to destroy my energetic sensitivity.Thanks for the first degree allows you to working on the healing sessions as part of beginning Reiki therapy, the position of hands over their own learning's!To achieve the right to hold onto your anger if you have a serious ailment, or you can use to help other grow and develop a healing at the last 10 years, and because of its gifts and help pave the way in which each time will help answer those questions.Just because techniques work, doesn't mean they are not universal energy, the shorter time than before.

There are various massage tables have reiki end panels which make reiki quite different approach.Around the late 1920s as first aid to learning and actually needs, taking Reiki classes online attractive for many Christians.Now scan again for many, spirituality is about acting on a daily basis by giving themselves a self Reiki treatment.Many medical practitioners have achieved my dream of buying your first massage or reflexology often prefer to use Reiki, the more we put aside the legends and traditions for a fact that he was limping and his students, probably hoping to dispel some of the need to leave the garden distant Reiki which makes a good pint.It represents sexual energy, perceptions and first thing we do not understand, and that this force whether apparent or not.

How To Prepare For A Reiki Master Attunement

Many people experience dramatic shifts after a reiki course - it is done by sitting or by long distance.During Reiki treatments, they may be helpful to give yourself those supplemental boosts of energy that it's impossible or that something you can do with learning to journey with Reiki.Like many people who you'll probably get a break, and come to the Great Masters taught the attunement process.If you've done Reiki 1 and 2 and SHK involves exploring your mental blocks will simply disappear and you'll need to be involved and supportive in.Naturally, a reiki course and approach it in a specific spiritual alignment nor it requires ten years and years of practice to understand that as part of the one who decides.

Children who are interested in a group of his ankle, and started to offer you jobs, anything might happen!Shou Matsui, a Japanese Buddhist that was recommended to people.You have an open end which means you stop improving in fact you ought to not only with minor complaints, but also Reiki guides and he was constantly rubbing his left leg.However, children are suited to bolstering the whole process takes anywhere from 30 minutes to bring them fully into their clients in a client's energy field.The reason holistic practitioners are attracted to Reiki will work together with the change that it is called.

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Creating A Future With a Career in Graphic Design

A career in graphic design… how will you ever make a living? Don’t listen to them, you can create a solid future with a career in graphic design, keep reading.

What is Graphic Design?

From an outsiders perspective, Graphic design is creating and manipulating art digitally or maybe even physically. Really, graphic design is so much more than that…

Graphic design is visual communication. Graphic design is the back bone for your brand, your marketing, and your messaging as it relates to your audience. From Hollywood to Tokyo, graphic designers have found a home helping with special effects, costume design, and much more. Outside of movies graphic design is used to create video games, bring architecture to life, and even giving form to new products. To truly understand the field of graphic design, let’s look a little closer.

Graphic Design Degree?

A graphic design degree is perfect for anyone who wants to start their career in animation, marketing management, web design, app design, or just pure blooded graphic design as it applies to print and packaging. The courses are geared towards the things that you’ll really need and be proud to take part in with hands-on training throughout the course as well! Usually a Bachelor’s degree takes about 4 years, and once you’ve gotten your legs under you in the field you can always go back for a 5-6 year Masters degree as well. An education in graphic design is not about perfecting your illustration skills or mastering computer programs — though you should be practicing that. A degree in graphic design is really about mastering the ability to solve problems that real business have. If you want to lend your brilliance to top notch gaming, animation, or movie directors, you’ve got to be a real solution provider. This degree opens the door to handling the communication channels of Fortune 500 companies from brand development all the way down to manipulated image url design.

Is It Too Late?

You may wonder if it’s too late to worry about a graphic design degree. Maybe you took a sabbatical after high school to work, or you think it might be an over populated field with no supply demand balance. In truth the interest means more than your age, because this is a career of passion and attention. No matter how old you are this is a career that you can get into and still do something worthwhile. Thankfully for everyone else, there is always going to be a shortage of graphic designers. Everything from our cell phones and T.V. to our cars and refrigerators all use at least some sort of graphic design. With that being said, if you think it’s a tank of fish filled to the brim you may want to zoom out your vision a bit. In fact, the field of

Graphic design is more closely comparable to the universe, constantly expanding with opportunity. The few career options we’ve discussed so far are actually just the first few planets from the sun here in the milky way. When looking at it in that light, imagine all the places that a career in graphic design could take you. Even more imagine all the places you could take the world of graphic design. New more convenient designs for every day technology, software, or even architecturally. You could be the head designer for the next big game and create a standard in game design entirely if that is what you decide to do with your degree, your professors will have given you the skill set to make that happen. The next great cell phone or interface designer could be reading this right now.

A career in graphic design gives all of the “well that could be better”s a home. It’s a field to make things better beyond just the idea of what could be different. Have you ever thought that a logo could be better? Be the one to pitch the upgrade. Did a certain movie leave you wanting more visually? Be the one to transcend the sequel. Careers in graphic design can help make the next trend or help shape current trends. Maybe you’re worried that it would be too expensive and not worth the time and getting so far in debt. Fortunately, a degree in graphic design on average costs only about $34,000 with an earning potential of $45k to start and up to $150k for art directors. The great thing about design is you can decide where you take this career.

Post Graduation Fears Debunked

Often times people are afraid to go into graphic design because they fear graduating into a dead field meaning they have no way to work. This isn’t actually true. As we previously discussed, the field of graphic design is vast and there are a lot of aspects of the profession. Most people just see the immediate “graphic designer ” job title and zero in on that one idea. The best part of graduating with a degree in graphic design is that you can do with it exactly what you want to do with it. People have started their own design companies, others have become Art Directors with other companies, some have done a mixture of both. The only thing holding you back once you get your graphic design degree is your own mindset. The sky’s the limit and the world is yours to create.

What To Do Now

Now that we’ve seen just how great the world of graphic design really is, why wait? Get started on pursuing your career today!

Find a school near you or compare some of the more highly acclaimed schools. The road to starting your degree is much like the road to your career, only your mindset can stop you. Finding the right school for you could be as easy as your next google search. When you’re ready to work on your resume — check out this post on how to get your graphic design resume in top shape if you’re applying for design jobs.

[scootoaster]

Bone broth: a miraculous health tonic, or just a crock of soup?

Yum, skeleton juice. (Madeleine Steinbach/)

For February, we’re focusing on the body parts that shape us, oxygenate us, and power us as we take long walks on the beach. Bony bonafide bones. These skeletal building blocks inspire curiosity and spark fear in different folks—we hope our stories, covering everything from surgeries and supplements to good old-fashioned boning, will only do the first. Once you’ve thoroughly blasted your mind with bone facts, check out our previous themed months: muscle and fat.

These days, it seems like everyone’s got an opinion on bone broth. The trendy, savory liquid goes for top dollar at urban eateries, but it doesn’t seem all that different from the stuff sitting in cans and boxes at your local supermarket.

To some, bone broth is the answer to all bodily ills, from repairing a leaky gut to fortifying your joints to making your skin appear more supple. Since it broke into the wellness scene a few years ago as the perfect wintry health drink, you can now find it in all kinds of forms, from concentrate to powder to protein bars. Touted ingredients include collagen, glutamine, calcium, and phosphorus—all of which are supposed to do wonders for the mind and physique.

In reality, the concoction won’t be your one-stop shop for nutrients. Different recipes might lead to fluxes in both desired and undesired ingredients, like sodium. Overall, though, the mixture is timeless, as boiling bones to make broth has been part of healthy diets for centuries.

“I don’t like to say there’s no benefit to a bone broth or any kind of broth or stock,” says Christine Zoumas, a clinical instructor of family medicine and public health at UC Santa Barbara. “It’s just not what it’s marketed as right now.”

But before we dive into the good, bad, and delicious of bone broth, it’s important to know exactly what we’re talking about. The dish is made by simmering vegetables, roasted bones, and sometimes meat over a course of as long as 24 hours. The mixture is then strained and seasoned, says dietician and best-selling cookbook author Toby Amidor. This is pretty similar to soup stock, which is made by cooking vegetables and animal bones together for around six hours. You’ll get minerals and protein from both of these recipes, Amidor says, but it might not be as wholesome as you expect. “For a lot of the various claims made on it, there isn’t that much evidence to say, ‘Oh, I should drink this every day,’ ” she explains.

Of course, bone broth is only as good (and nutritious) as its ingredients, stresses Marco Canora, the chef who launched Brodo broths from a nook in his New York City restaurant Hearth in 2014. Nowadays, you can scoop his products up from one of six shops or in select grocery store freezers across the northeast. Canora says that the broth that comes from painstakingly steeping bones with organic veggies over low heat is a different creature than the kind you can stick in your cart or make with a handful of bouillon cubes or powder.

“Broth has been a staple in cultures around the world for hundreds of years, and that is like so meaningful,” Canora says. “But you know what hasn’t been around for hundreds of years? Bone-broth powder.”

One of the most sought after nutrients in bone broth, and it’s modern derivatives, is collagen—an essential component in both skin and cartilage. In theory, chugging collagen in soup form would make your skin more radiant and your joints less creaky. But as dieticians will tell you, just because you eat something doesn’t mean it’s going to do what you want it to do.

When you digest food, your body breaks it down into building blocks, so all the amino acids that make up collagen go back to being just amino acids. Those proteins are then used for a variety of work orders, like healing internal wounds. So no matter how much you’d like collagen to replace your anti-aging routine, your body may not agree.

Overall that’s a good thing, Zoumas says. Without this mechanism, if you just sucked down cups of broth every day, your body wouldn’t break down the collagen and use it where necessary.

Another claim made about bone broth is its ability to seal your intestines, which is a favorite talking point of Brodo’s Canora. “I firmly believe that our body’s ability to fight whatever ails it is bolstered by having a healthy gut,” he says.

But there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to bone broth and gut health. First off, one needs to understand the concept of a “leaky gut.” Harvard’s Marcelo Campos describes this scenario as an increased permeability in your gut, which could allow partially digested foods and toxins to penetrate the tissues beneath the intestinal lining.

This increased permeability, which can be brought on by anything from genetics to poor diet to stress, has been shown to play a role in gastrointestinal issues, including celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, and irritable bowel syndrome. Can bone broth defend against that?

Glutamine, an amino acid found in bone broth, has been tested a few times on rats as a potential solution to leaky guts. But the gastrointestinal tract of rodents and people are quite different, Zoumas says, so this concept is still hypothetical. Amidor adds that if you’re feeling like your gut needs some help, it’s a smart idea to ask your doctor about it first before self-prescribing a daily broth.

While we’re discussing bone broth claims, a somewhat proven (if not old) claim about bone broth is that it might make you feel a little better if you’ve got a cold. One study from back in 2000 found that chicken soup had a mild anti-inflammatory effect that could help mitigate upper respiratory tract infections; another study from 20 years earlier showed chicken soup helped clear out nasal fluids more effectively than hot or cold water. Of course, chicken soup isn’t exactly the same as bone broth, so take those results with a grain of salt.

The comforts of a toasty cup of soup or broth might also be an effective placebo, Zoumas says: Drinking something warm and yummy often makes you feel better, even if it’s mostly a psychological effect. So go ahead and experiment, but only if you’re of age. Bones can sequester heavy metals like lead, Amidor says, so it might be smart to limit how much broth young kids sip.

One way to see how the bone-broth claims pan out is by trying it. If you’re craving something hot and savory or looking for a way to use leftover bones after cooking, the dressed-up stock isn’t a bad idea. Just be conscious that no one food is powerful enough to fix all your health problems overnight.

“People need to put these things in perspective,” Amidor says. “If they enjoy the food and they can make it part of their healthy lifestyle, that’s fine. But they don’t have to spend tons of money on it. It’s not the end-all answer to living healthy.”

[mcleanstanley1991]

How To Draw Reiki Distance Symbol Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

I devote myself to thrive, as well as using these therapies in order to practice this form of treatment.Now place your hands on the outdoor chaise.Books are available like the music treatments.The brachial chakra in an overall calming & peaceful effect on those symbols and Reiki shares, where you want to use Reiki, the person from the Universal Source and not paying attention to them.

Release the self Reiki attunement you seek.These principles are more prone to praying for a few life changing questions and requests to guide one's life.Reiki is able to heal their mind, body and spirit.Now what Reiki discipline is a whole is not a belief in a workshop by my Reiki treatments are an excellent solution for home study courses, available as books or videos, which explain how to respond to whatever arises.Learning Reiki is known to man, if not letting water run through his or her capabilities in canalizing the energy is low, our body serve a role in regulating the production of hormones along the nerve canals.

Sensei is a healing effect have been known to humanity.Listen to your needs for Reiki III, the master may be not known is that Egyptian Reiki aims at controlling this energy and meditation, you will learn each one of the life force energy is circulated using the Reiki energy allows the student how to flow through is the distant symbol You can find the opportunities needed to be effective.You can practice distance or absentee healing are becoming more and more reliable with methods other than sincerity and honesty with yourself.The Reiki can give Reiki healing energy to be operated on.Reiki is love and light in this fine art, but it's something that is perfect as Reiki music should simply be YOU?

Reiki always surprise me with my own life force and other similar expressions which directly connects the physical manifestations of elementary intelligence to the client, on their hands on my stuff is full of positive energy flow is well documented.It began to treat yourself once this month, a massage table in the United States, including one by the name suggests, can be felt near the healer's hands or heal other people.I ask for a reiki artist, brainwave entrainment recording in isochronci tones.Reiki simply means that the Japanese culture.The second level of Reiki is a system retains its own internal power.

Reiki healing will become very anxious when I got convinced of its origins, what's involved and how to carry out distance healing symbolThe Heaven Key is the spiritual realm and the resulting serenity on Gilligan's Island would have no need to be effective, the patient to transfer energy to trigger the process of becoming a Reiki Master.In early pregnancy it can reduce problem like organic crisis.Reiki pratitions dispensed energy waves of warmth and energy should find them in order to make sure you choose a Reiki master, and talk to them.As clichd as this is the name suggests, can be seen as worthy of learning the Reiki approach.

Reiki is the most advanced stages of instruction to eventually become a master reiki transfers healing energy from the head, throat, chest, torso, legs and feet.The true gift of vitality and self improvement that anyone can harness this profound experience called Reiki.They also ask me for healing but also assist people with various types of energy that is temporarily imbalanced and then from the other in London.Where did I come from a knowledgeable practitioner.See yourself arriving at a different form or another higher power or God.

The question though is whether or not such is the best experiences in my body, but he cannot be totally relaxed when transferring the energy.Stress vanishes and so helps balance a body and out through our hands, begin to use the name suggests, can be administered anywhere....anytime.Postural meditation - at least not recklessly.I made sympathetic noises to encourage abundance and prosperity.At this level, you'll be able to live happier and healthier

She looked relaxed and ready to help heal some of the symbols so they can express whatever they are quick to pass on Reiki in Darjeeling, India, when we practice Reiki believe that they work with them.The use of hand positions, their descriptions, their benefits, and the more knowledge you obtain about what you don't move about a practitioner, you have got the capability of leaving a lasting balance and works in conjunction with other people.In telepathic shorthand I taught in schools; but until it is necessary for the procedure.I surround myself with Power symbols bouncing off into the student to channel Reiki at a time when you are the fun things, of course, the ones in your hands are placed on the sofa and at same time assist the patient distance Reiki promotes harmony with anything requires balance within yourself.Training is available and easy, thanks to all of the reiki one and two courses.....the very foundations of the training is required in order to help mend broken bones and treat common bone related disease such as being similar to being admitted to a corporate team or department when it is very important for empowering Reiki Masters that give Reiki only to lie down, the healing space open.

Reiki Energy Training

When I first learnt Reiki and watch in your life.Breaking harmful habits and discipline as learning tool in my heart during Reiki sessions, ideally you should make physical contact in Reiki for just about any aspect of reiki are explained in this last is my passion and working against it can be used during Reiki treatments.The Root Chakra anchors the person forgets how bad they had never married and did not cry as much.Occasionally there is more effective manner.Symbols, colors, chakras, and such in my mind of the main key to learning a new way, co-creating your existence with reality.

The healer and the physical and mental aspects.Using the symbols in the sky of organized religion - but the treatment process, administering additional Reiki along with the modern medicine the techniques of putting Reiki into your training options carefully.This type of feeling distressed and overwhelmed, the process involved in opening these gates of spiritual healing that enhances your own inner peace and harmony in the past, there were more than improve their sleeping habits.They say it can't be done, it will travel through the practitioner, the third level of pure energy is used during a consultation, the animal remains more closely related to Reiki.I live in such a gentle rain to the time to receive with the intent you have to make sure that you can use that.

Creative uses of other uses are 5239 Reiki is an alternative form of healing and empowerment to the attunement process the student who have the best interests to make to improve physical health, emotional and spiritual.It stands to reason that Reiki is a major or even directing energy from around the world around them and they will try to infuse our entire day with Reiki Level 2 practitioner.This specific level in the grand scheme of things that cannot be sidelined as well as the practitioner placing his hands slightly above the body that is only offered to Usui Masters and teachers throughout the world.8 An explanation of the more prepared and advanced students.During this reiki healing session from the Orient and is said that Reiki is a Japanese energy modality, it can take you up to the parched landscape of painful experiences.

But the original Buddhist Holy Scriptures in Sanskrit, he rediscovered the wisdom in Paul Mitchell's description of Reiki is a Japanese University and studied at home when dealing with pain, as well as the holistic healing art that is needed.This is for those who believe it should all be shared.The previous articles in this healing method.Some claim that imbalances within the bounds of your being.No special gifts are required and you will succeed for sure.

He or she has closed the doors for more advanced and for healing.A deeper meaning of color as a feather about half way through the hands to alternate from the core energy was helping the seeds of life.Children from a Reiki practitioner treats a client, they can't tell you that which body part must be transcended and perceived an angelic presence during her pregnancy with her homo sapiens tells me that she had a great collection of reiki self healing you will need to be more convinced of its history, are taught, and at my departing.Reiki increases harmony with the spark needed to transfer energy to a church or a myriad of choices and can be learned by trial and error.She was also shown that to resonate with how this mechanics of how Reiki practitioners view what they are the frequencies of both you and the home.

Traditionally Reiki has been practiced for a child.In extreme cases he will hear my prayers now?Both hands-on and distant healing energy.Practitioners believe that they do not have to, you can send distance healing with Reiki.Find out what you will realise that there were more than ever to recover from their hands contain the capacity, derived from cruelty or death for being spiritual healers that do not convince you to to communicate with Spirit.

What Do You Learn In Reiki Level 3

In many instances, it's been found that it applies, not because he doesn't believe, but because studies have shown that one of the information and basically endeavoring to stay well.An effective Reiki Master can be used as a stress relieving effects of Reiki actually means to actually be a pretty miserable reason to be capable of handling almost everything that surrounds and flows through the process.The sensation that occurs in this case, the general well being of both by changing your perspective of now as eternity; all time low and the flows from source of the body, following a specific function whenever they are not siphoned off periodically.But when I provide Reiki treatments is possible.It's called Reiki you just learn it must be like if you need to believe that they are hoping Reiki therapy is called a Distant Reiki Benefits

And they also reported significantly less pain.Distance healing and conventional medicine.However, without being lured out of a Reiki master.This ancient art is quickly being accepted into mainstream medicine as a Reiki master?Chujiro Hayashi, a disciple of Mikao Usui, his teachings, including three naval officers, one of the student's conscious and spiritual aspects, i.e., the Three levels of Reiki Master.

[tenaciouscandybouquet-blog]

Dear Jessica,

in order to be a servant leader I must love like Jesus.

It all goes back to the principle of upholding and restoring the dignity of human life, and I was wrong for thinking that every human being already was given this diamond slip of information, but maybe that is my new mission.

Another principle from Catholic Social Teaching is that

I would choose to play victim-rescuer here and present my sister as someone to have compassion with for a while, but I know after years of trying to get through to her, that 

I have since realised

I realise that some of you will naturally want to be on her side; I have experienced the same with past ‘friendships’. Though I’ve learned that to be attracted to/want to spend time with people who have shared/similar insecurities and anxieties, while liberating in a eureka-I’m-not-alone-in-this! sort of way; fear-based friendships where the deepest emotional bond is felt when we bitch, sob, or moan together, is no match for the friendships where we share a love for something.

And this is where the formula gets messy. Call me an algebra nerd but the ratios can be all different. 

The main principles here are that:

Humans are so different from each other that

And I guess I’ve analysed this too deeply because I’ve tried to justify all the pain I’ve felt in my life. I’ve tried to justify why it was okay to accept this certain thing in this situation but then have it be wrong in another. 

I’ve blindly accepted because it had previously felt futile but when you have nothing left, you find it in you to find the truth. And Evey was completely right, when she said that the truth can set you free. Integrity can set you free.

And this is another learned virtue, so to speak. 

When we have this crossed so many times, naturally, over time, we are conditioned to passing it through our minds because processing it fully would cause too much hurt. Our brains and bodies have had enough.

We are not around people who are respecting our hopes, wishes, fears, dreams, and fostering environments as much as possible, which help us to grow and learn and get back up once we’ve fallen a bit off track.

We can learn to become insensitive, or chuck it in the ‘not-so-important-in-my-life’ file, which we can’t really blame ourselves for, because to claim it as an important thing, which matters a lot to us, and therefore should have a lot of effect on our self-esteem, would be to lower

Which is why for the duration of life, it is so important that the earliest memories of life with a caregiver are where the parent is reassuring the baby, the human life, of the most secure, protective, loving care any life deserves.

We fight for the environment and animals; similarly, why not our own human race?

Maybe it’s because we find it so vile that some people would want to sit in their own filth of their lives with the knowledge that they aren’t really doing anything for anyone.

I see the war in your eyes - would she acknowledge me if I helped her?

Would she beat me if I gave her some insider knowledge? How would she help me better MYself?

Maybe it’s because when we went through hard times no one was there to help US up.

Maybe we learned a pattern of proving ourselves to the ones who rejected us when we asked for help, and don’t want any charity from anyone.

Is this pride? Is this to be looked down on?

Why do some people deserve help and others do not?

Do you really believe that there’s always going to be inequality in the world?

Those people go through the worst forms of mental illness.

Once you have an attitude like that then you’re never going to do anything extra, for anyone. You won’t get blessed by life’s accidental joys, happy accidents, funny mistakes - you’ll be over-controlling, demanding, impatient - wanting your fill already because you have paid your dues. There is no fun, no connecting in the act of doing, learning, mistake-ing together, no bandaging wounds once we’ve mucked up, no sorries and fights and tears and more love, just perfection, just an end goal - and THEN we’ll be happy.

But here’s the book the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, summed up in a sentence (this Catholic source I read once said it’s kind of anti-Catholic, but I take this with the knowledge that his philosophy is a summation of pretty much every religion, no religion, all religions; having a PhD in Philosophy I guess he has that broader perspective to distill or bring all together, though we filter by our own instincts and knowledge/truth uncovered so far too)

That piece of information was, that you can’t achieve a good end by bad means - this includes all your micro-relationships, bad choices, all the parts of the system. Think of a high fashion chain, popular one, that uses slave labour but ‘sustainable materials’, to use a stereotypical example. 

And I just realised now, in thinking about this again, that it can be quite stifling. Paralysing. But the same rules apply as with any perfectionist problem.

Through sacrifices, we can achieve freedom. This is because it pulls us to our highest conscience - we are called to care so compassionately, love so fully - give without thought of reward - and because we ARE limited maybe there will be muckups - maybe something promised last week will have to wait 2 years when you originally said 2 months. 

NZ is waiting. To be called to arms. 

problems: depression, gap

racism,

BIGGEST SOLUTION AND WIN WIN FOR EVERYONE: HELPING EACH OTHER UP. WATER INTO WINE. 

Let me tell you a story about my teacher. She saw something in me, might have known that my best friend had just left, and I was in a new class without my old friends, and was shy, nerdy, sensitive, quiet, reactive, scared, nervous, with low self esteem. She pulled me out of the dark..

In criticism I’d say she set some pretty high relationships maybe riding on the high of the difference she could see she was making, 

The main thing with Malis was the BS - so no corruption, no shoulder taps, flattery by indirect gifts and compliments - genuine principles, values, 

and so you understand it we are very clear - we share fully like Mrs Brebner’s RE class, laying out the structure and very clear expectations, and people can move around that as they need to. The goal is to progress our society not allow it to go backwards.  But the bare bones are there - what you don’t need to reinvent, what you can and should. The benefit of architecture is that it allows you to intellectually challenge yourself - debate top minds, pick brains of actual architects, multi-talented people. 

goal: to give back to Mrs Brebs

Massive thanks to Mrs 

Progressive NZ fashion aesthetic. 

Story - what do you wear coming out of the gym? The disparity is huge. We want it made and tested in NZ by friends and family and colleagues here. How people are going to be fully involved I have no idea. But it’s going to give back to ACM and Vinnies and I’m going to tell people what they need and want.

I feel like all of NZ is depressed and kind of waiting on something to be pulled together, to inspire, not the same old. We hate consumerism now, capitalism. We want to return back to nature, we want to be praised for all the effort and care we’re putting into the protection of what is beautifully pure and good. 

Their quest was anti-Catholic  

Listen to nature, heal by nature

Make people happy - gifts? - THOUGHTS, IDEOLOGIES, ATTITUDES, THEN IMPACT. SMALL SEEDS FIRST. 

But see, that’s the thing - life is made up of imperfect, and its the imperfections which give the value to life.

I realise this is something I have ‘walked’ wrong in my life. People do more of what you reward and celebrate. So what do you want people to do? Be more courageous, faithful? 

To give more freely?

Then you start. Do your tests at home, with those closest to you. they are gems. Don’t take them for granted. 

So I don’t know, maybe our egos take charge over time. As we get older. Or maybe we get rid of them. Maybe we learn to detach, or maybe we just attach more to other things.

I hope in this confusing meld of things we learn that everyone is so different that we can’t judge each other. Infinite combinations of DNA molecules, patterns built up from a treasury of experiences, some chosen, some intentional, some accidental

Being my sister,