#so she started going “can i come in?! let's chat for a while!!!” etc while i was trying to politely tell her I NEED TO GO BACK TO SLEEP

[atramenting]

woke up, had an introspective half hour in which i thought about how my mother tried so hard to stomp my identity out of me, and how she played a direct part in cultivating my self-loathing over everything from my weight to other aspects of my appearance, from my skintone to my eyebrows to the size of my hands and feet.

when i was younger, despite desperately wanting to be a boy, anything masc about me made me hate myself. anything fem ALSO made me hate myself, because it was all "wrong" -- either because it felt that way to me, or because of how my mother acted about it. she would force perm my hair - badly - because she didn't want me to have thick, wavy dark hair. she wanted me to have her perfect thin and bouncy blonde curly hair, otherwise i wasn't "pretty" enough. she would force me to wear earrings - but never the kind i liked. little plastic bright red things so people could see I Was Female even when she'd buzzed off all my hair (the one part of myself that i loved) instead of taking the time to comb the lice out. she would force me to wear makeup to school recitals and stuff - but never would it look good. she'd cake my face in the tones she wore, which were a few shades too dark/tan, use bright red lipstick, line my eyes with blotchy pencil, and if i begged her not to put it on me, she would scream and call me names and hit me and threaten to kill herself.

she would force me to wear "women's clothing" - except she would spend all her money on beer, cigarettes, and other drugs, so all my clothes came from the extended families of whatever boyfriend she had at the time. hand me downs that never quite fit, you know, and her favorites were always the gaudy blouses that only old ladies would wear to church. she'd pick the ugliest ones with lace ruffles and pearl buttons even if they fit me terribly, and i'd be forced to school in them. ill-fitting pants, tits spilling out of my too-small bras (which she also made a point to make fun of, even though i was eleven or twelve), ugly grandma blouses, poorly done makeup jobs in the style from when she was a teenager, and all my hair buzzed off so that people could see those hideous bright red earrings.

she told me, when i was in highschool and finally making friends, that if she ever found out i was gay - because my theater kid friends walked me home one time - that i would never be welcome in her home again. and if i did show up, that she would kill me. i never talked to her about my first heartbreak because she threatened my life over it. i never got to open up about the fact that my freshman year was awful because a junior girl liked me, that we made out one night, that she decided she was annoyed by idk the trivia i knew about anime, and so she -- and consequently anyone in the upper three years in that extended friend group -- suddenly refused to speak to me overnight. i stopped eating lunch or spending time anywhere except the library after school. mom should have been worried.

but i lost a little weight so it was good.

i got a job. i started buying my own clothes. i bought my younger brother's school supplies because mom wouldn't. i got kicked out at sixteen and had to live with the family i babysat for because my younger brother called the police one night when she and her boyfriend were having a drunken argument -- one in which a lamp got broken and my brother, shaking and sobbing and terrified, came into my room and woke me up and told me he called the police about 30 seconds before they knocked on my door -- the back door, because my "bedroom" was originally the back porch. the police waited politely when i told them i had to get dressed. my mother never showed me the same respect.

mom and her bf got arrested, and i disappeared from school. the timing was a little fucked, because there was a boy i liked who had asked me to be his gf and it was a few weeks before homecoming. we'd been on a couple of dates, and then i vanished for a week and a half or so before it was considered safe for me to go back to school. when i got back i told him that i wasn't ready to try dating right now, that there was too much going on with things i didn't want to talk about just yet. i didn't dare tell him i was facing homelessness bc my mother was released and told me i had three days to get out of her house. she refused to accept that the scared 9 year old called the police. she thought i had done it. and blamed me for letting the police in. (the police explained that they were going to have to break down the door because of the domestic violence call. like. did she want them to do that in a rental? haha)

anyway, that guy and his friends all also decided to cut me off, so that was great. even though we'd like. not kissed or anything. he could not fathom what could possibly be going on that i wouldn't want to focus on ~high school romance~. (his mother was the school secretary and SHE knew what had happened. she offered me hugs and was so much help over the next couple of years bc she knew i didn't have parents or legal guardians to help with anything. she was the one i talked to any time i had to call out of school, and she never pressed the matter. she was a real saint.)

oh but also it turns out that that guy had major jealousy issues so i kind of dodged a bullet. he and a good friend wound up dating a year or two after graduation and he got intense and scary and emotionally abusive, so. i guess that worked out for me. anyway.

i was alone except for my two good friends after being cut off from anyone else who shared my interests. one was a year ahead of me, and it turns out that she was also not really a great friend, because she was using her friendship with me as a way to craft great stories for her other friends -- from the group that shunned me as a freshman -- about how i was so depressed that i was going to bring a bomb to school, or how i carried knives in my backpack (years before school entry scanners), or blah blah blah blahhhhh i don't even care anymore. she would up stealing my online identity and making accounts on furaffinity and stuff like that with it... which was kind of noticeable as.... she was the only person irl i'd ever shared my online presence with. hahahha. hah

also i did have knives. they were xacto knives from my art teacher, because scratchboards are the greatest fucking stim thing out there. and i always informed/asked my teachers if it was all right to work on art projects after i finished their assigned work, so they all knew i had them. tiny 1 inch blades. working on cute fuckin drawings of foxes and anime boys. so as you can imagine this is actually funny to me in some way, because even though she was being really malicious, all of my teachers loved me and, well, the "knives" were not an issue.

i got a little off topic there. anyway, what i'm saying is, once i managed to break out of my mother's oppressive management of what i should be, i realized that i was never going to be the pretty princess that she wanted me to be, and that i didn't want to be, anyway, because i was a boy and had always wanted to be a boy. i started buying men's clothes and it changed my life. i started hitting the gym and it was incredible. sure, i'm flabby and out of shape right now, but i have faith that if i pull through just a little longer, i'll be able to get whatever's wrong with me fixed, and i'll be able to start going to the gym again.

i learned that eyeliner can really enhance my face, as long as it's not like what mom forced on me. full racoon eyes on guys is hot. i also learned that makeup can help make me look more masculine -- with the proper contouring, that is, and darkening/shaping my eyebrows. (hell. just doing brow filler helps me look better REGARDLESS. thick eyebrows are so in XOXO) my hair is something that people are jealous of -- not something ugly or hideous that needs to be "fixed". it's a giant fucking mane of silver-streaked brown nowadays, and it's incredible, and i love it even if it's really warm and if sometimes my husband rolls onto it and there is hair on everything everywhere at all times and eternally i am SORRY about the shower it just looks like that now.

i learned that women's pants fit me better with how wide my hips have gotten, as men's pants unfortunately are not crafted for The Belly. but i can still pair them with a t-shirt and sandals and look perfectly fine. pants are just pants tbh. it doesn't make me squirm like it used to when i was forced into anything "feminine".

anyway. what i'm saying is like. you didn't win, mom, and i will always loathe you. i feel sorry for you in a way, but i also understand that your unwillingness to do any self-introspection or to work past your own narcissism is your own fuckin fault. you tried to kill who i was time and time again, and then flipped and tried to boo-hoo your fuckin way out of it the moment i had a community that helped raise me up instead of breaking my spine to fit me into that little perfect princess box.

it's a prince box now and i fit in there without having to hurt myself for your gratification.

[donvampiro]

Hi! Can I get some fluffy hcs with Nami, Sanji, & Zoro ( separately ) where they're feeling touched starved & are craving their s/o's attention? Tysm! ^^

Hi @swicid !! Hope you're doing well. What a cute request >< I apologize for the long wait. Life's been very hard. Hope these hc will meet your expectations anyway 🥺🌸 Have a nice day/evening!

MASTERLIST - Welcome

***

'Love for you'

(Touch starved) Nami, Zoro & Sanji x gn!reader

Nami

uh? what? no, Nami isn’t touch-starved. you are touch-starved. — that’s it that’s her whole attitude when she’s feeling touch-starved and wants your attention. Nami would act in such a way that it seems like you are the one craving attention, her attention.

in order to get your attention — to draw you in — Nami won't hesitate to exploit all your weaknesses, by which i mean all the soft spots you have. wearing a certain perfume, a certain outfit, engaging in an activity that she knows will pique your interest and draw you closer to her, etc, etc… Nami is resourceful and won't hesitate to use her very resources if it means having you craving her attention.

you’ve been busy for a while now — for too long, in Nami’s opinion — and she's determined to put an end to it all to finally get you interested in her. there are many schemes possible, but she'd decide to keep it simple. you two spotted an item in a magazine some time ago, and would be very excited to use it. Nami would decide to do it without you though, purposely walking past you with the package in her hands. she hoped it would get your attention — and it did.

‘Oh, it finally arrived? Great! Let me see’, you’d beam, running towards her all smiles, and Nami would smirk. Everything was going just as expected.

- ‘Ah ah ah’, she’d tease, holding the item in the air. ‘i was the one who picked it up first, so it’s up to me to see what it’s like first.’

feigning nonchalance, she might walk a little further away from you, maybe not, before turning around and giving you a mischievous look you knew (too) well.

‘If you’re willing to pay the price though, (y/n), i’ll let you see it first.’

- ‘fine. what about some cuddles?’, you’d suggest.

- ‘mmhh, if that’s what you want’, she’d wink. ‘sounds fair.’

you rolled your eyes. Nami is an impish person, but it’ll always take more than that to fool you. deep down, you knew exactly what she wanted from the start...

Roronoa Zoro

he's both tsundere-ish and not tsundere about it. our marimo wants your attention and craves your affection but doesn’t want to have to ask for it. so he won’t.

you're chatting, sitting on the deck, and his eyes would be following you discreetly (or not), thinking that he’d like your eyes to be on him, that he could feel your touch. Zoro’s eyebrows are furrowed but his gaze is not severe. he looks thoughtful. admiring. admiring you.

without warning or waiting for permission, he would come sit next to you and perhaps rest his head on your shoulder, arms crossed and eyelids closed, always with that expression that those who didn't make the effort to know him would have taken for irritation.

maybe you’d turn to him and place a kiss on his face, maybe not, either way you would give him the attention he seems to be seeking.

‘Oi, don’t move. Lemme sleep.’, he would say grumpily, but you know better.

you’d let out a chuckle while you see his features soften as well as a hint of pink tint his ears. he’s so obvious. you don’t know if he’s trying to be subtle though. either way, you’d let him.

his arms would uncross and he’d let his hand rest at your side. You’d get the hint and intertwine your fingers accordingly; earning a small, content hum from Zoro. bro’s a simple guy. and with you two so close, he'd think he couldn’t be more happy.

Vinsmoke Sanji

boy’s feeling touch-starved & craving your attention 24/7. but he tries to contain himself to give you space. however, if he could, Sanji would stick to you like glue all the time.

but sometimes it's just too much for him, he needs your attention just like he needs to show you his affection, i mean look at you??? you’re so beautiful and kind and smart and talented and perfect???

Sanji is simmering with affection for you and he needs to show it to you; hoping that you’ll bless him by looking at him, by smiling at him. in short, he wants to show you that he loves you and receive a dose of your love too in return.

and when it comes to showing you love, let him cook. pun intended.

Sanji would mostly try to please you, trying not to be too annoying though. cooking your favorite meals, offering you his help profusely, genuinely complimenting you a lot, and stroking your shoulder, arm, or cheek from time to time, like a not-so-subtle, but always adorable and respectful coded message.

‘(y/n)-chwan!! i cooked you a little _____, you’ll tell me how it goes! :D you’ve been so active since this morning, you must need energy!’

‘you’re still as radiant as ever, (y/n)-chwan.’

‘Don't worry (y/n), i'll take care of this! No, no, it’s okay, that’s precisely where i was going anyway :)’

etc etC ETC

please reward our boy. otherwise he will explode.

[bluem1lls]

hii, could you write a one-shot where se-mi fucks fem reader after an argument/angry? like including really rough sex, degradation, hair pulling, a strap, etc, anything you feel comfortable with. im sorry if this is too horny this is my ovulation week 💔

✧₊⁺ but you belong to me

se-mi x fem!reader

authors note: so clearly, this is very much headcanon shdjdjj i tried mixing both together and this came out! thank you so much to both for the request and i hope u like it!

✦ synopsis: you're so in love with your best friend that is not really a surprise when you two fight because she wants to hookup with a random girl.

but as she sees you sitting next to nam-gyu, talking so close, she needs to show you who you belong to.

content: minors dni, best friends to lovers, jealous se-mi (AAAA), smut, strap on, dom!se-mi x sub! reader, bathroom sex, fingering/oral (r!receiving), slight choking and degradation, hair pulling

i can't believe my anger lead me to this pathetic path.

sitting here, with nam-gyu. that's like... as low as you can get.

"why are you here, doll?" he says, staring at me. "like, don't get me wrong, i'm happy that you decided i'm the best option to hang out but... don't you have a little bodyguard that you're always with?"

i frown as i stare at a blank point. "she decided it's best to go fuck a random girl than staying with her best friend"

se-mi and i have been best friends since senior year from high school. we did everything together, that even lead to eachother being our first kiss for example, but we always said it was a way to experiment, for when the real time comes.

of course, that didn't stopped me from falling for my best friend.

so when we met this new waitress at our usual coffee shop that couldn't stop poiting "how pretty se-mi's piercings are", i didn't liked her.

i was hugging se-mi, feeling cold and confused as she broke our hug to chat with a random girl. random! girl!

that's was so mean of her.

i mean, she has no idea of the feelings i have for her but... she can't be that blind?

right?

so, that lead to us fighting at se-mi's house afterwards, where we were having the last hangout of the year with our group and a few others.

the 'fight' being me telling her how much i didn't liked this new girl as she replied by scoffing and rolling her eyes.

like always.

that brings me to present time. where, the party has already started. i can see se-mi talking and laughing with this girl (she even invited her, i can't believe it!) while im sitting next to nam-gyu, a boy who i know she really fucking hates but just got used to his presence because we're in the same friend group.

"i think the word you're looking for is jealous" he keeps with the conversation. he chuckles as i stare at him like he was insane.

"don't say that. i'm not jealous. i just think it's stupid that i tell her 'oh hey don't hook up with her, she gives me bad vibes' and she still goes for it!" i tell him gesturing with my hands, getting angry all over again.

"you're too pretty to be jealous, doll" nam-gyu says, staring at me.

"maybe not more than a random blonde" i mumble, covering my face.

"hey listen. we might not get along great, but" he says, removing my hands out of my face, making me stare him. "you're the most gorgeous girl in this trashy party" we both chuckle.

i smile, thankful. he's actually making me feel better.

"thanks, i can't believe i'm saying this but... you're actually a decent person" i spoke, smiling.

he grins as one of his hands goes to grab a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

as he was getting close, a hand grabs the neck of his shirt from behind and pulls him away.

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" se-mi says to him, her face twisted in anger and betray. her stare now focus on me as she frowns. "were you going to kiss him? for real?" she scoffs as she lets nam-gyu free of her hold and sarcastically chuckles.

i stare at her, confusion all over my face.

what was she talking about?

getting up from the couch, i stand in front of her.

"i don't get it. if i get in between your hookup i'm a bitch but you interrumpt a conversation and you're a heroe?" i say close to her face. we're standing a few inches apart. i can feel her breath on my face. i know she's mad. she has the same harsh look everytime thanos or nam-gyu say something that she doesn't like, before punching them.

but i'm not used to her staring at me that way.

"this is ridiculous. we're all having a good time. we'll talk about this later" i say turning around, heading to the bathroom.

i can hear her loud steps following me as i enter to the bathroom. she pushes the door before i can close it and enters, closing the door behind her.

she walks towards me, taking a deep breath as she stares my features. annoyance is clear on her face.

"what the fuck? nam-gyu? that's who you choose to go for, out of all the people here?" her expression growing with irritation.

"oh i'm sorry, i thought you were too busy with the blondie to notice my presence!"

"what are you talking about?" she says like i'm insane. "why does she makes you so angry? you never aprove of anyone i try to hookup." she says, scoffing.

"well, im just looking out for you"

"bullshit." se-mi replies, her expression growing angrier "you push me away, you flirt with nam-gyu-"

"flirt with nam-gyu?" i say, stopping her mid-sentence, confused. "what are you talking about? i wasn't flirting with him!"

"you were. you literally let him get close to you, touch your hair"

"you do that, my friends sometimes do that, i thought it was friendly" i shrugged. was he really flirting with me? "i didn't noticed. i promise"

she gazes into my eyes and looks for any sign of a lie in my face. her stare softens once she sees that i'm not lying to her. she steps closer to me, her body still tense.

"it made me so angry seeing you with him" she said, avoiding my eyes. "i thought you were trying to make me jealous on purpose and.." she stops and pins me against the wall. "it was driving me crazy"

my heart beats like crazy, i feel my cheeks heating up from how close she's standing to me.

"wh-why did it drive you crazy?"

her eyes becoming darker, filled with possessiveness. her raw voice, talks in a low tone.

"why do you think? i want you. all the times i hate seeing someone else get too close to you? i knew i was a little too much overprotective over you but," she stops, lifting my chin so i can stare into her eyes. "tonight? you ignoring me and talking to him instead? made my blood boil. i wanted to bend you against the table and fuck you right then and there so everyone can see who owns you."

i felt a heat set on my lower stomach, my panties becoming soaked for her words. i bit my lip as my stare drops to her lips.

her breath hitches. she swallows hard while closing the distance between us, trapping me against her and the wall. her lips capture mine with a kiss, her hands roaming all through my body as she settles on my throat, squeezing to remove air from my lungs. my hand wraps around her bicep, squeezing it one the choking becomes too much.

the kiss turning into a hungry, desesperate one. deepening as her tongue enters my mouth.

"you have no idea how much i want you" i moan in between kisses as her hands lower to my waist.

"if you keep saying things like that, i'll fuck you here, no time to take you to the bedroom" she says, eyes darkened with desire.

i nod as her kisses go lower to my neck, bitting, licking and leaving hickeys as i whimper.

"when i finish fucking you stupid, you're gonna go show him your hickeys and tell him who left them there" she says in a growl.

i nod, completely at her mercy.

she kneels, her hands slowly going under my skirt as she pulls it up, making me hold it.

"you and this miniskirt have been driving me insane all night" she says, her fingers teasing my folds over my panties. "look at you baby, you're soaked. you ruined this pretty pair of undies. being my whore made you this wet?" she says, her fingers still softly tracing my cunt, feeling the wetness.

"all for you, all for you. please se-mi" i beg whimpering, my puffy clit needy for stimulation.

"please what baby? use your words like the grown girl you are" she says, her eyes dark and feral, staring at the wet patch growing on my underwear.

"please fuck me."

her eyes graze all over my face as a smirk forms in her lips. i whimper as her fingers grab the elastic band of my panties. her face so close i can feel her breath against my cunt, making me clench to nothing. her tongue can't help but swipe across.

i moan, one hand holding to my skirt as the other one heads to grab her hair to pull her closer. she chuckles at my desperation, giving another flick of her tongue.

finally, she slowly begins to pull my panties down, removing them.

cold air hitting my clit, making me squeeze my thighs. her breathing getting heavier as she parts my legs, seeing the wetness covering my inner thighs.

she grabs my leg and places it on top of her shoulder, getting closer to where i need her the most. her fingers slowly teasing my clit as i give her a choked moan.

her tongue meets my clit, giving kitten licks as her fingers lower to tease my entrance. i yank her hair, trying to pull her even closer, making her stop. my eyes become watery.

"n-no wait, wh-why did you stop" i whimper, so needy.

"you're such a brat. you tease all night, you make me angry and you want me to take it to your pace?" she says, two of her fingers enter without warning in my soppy cunt, making me moan loudly. "you'll do as i say when i say it, you're my slut" she stares at me, as my eyes threaten to shut close from pleasure. i nod, making sure she knew i understood.

"lets fuck the attitude out of you, hm?" she says, her tongue meeting my clit once again as her two fingers curl inside of me with no mercy.

her tongue flicks on all the right places, fingers never leaving my inside as she thrust deeper and harder, making me clench.

"i-if you keep going i'll cum...i'm gonna cum please" i moan loudly as her pace seems to go even faster.

my head against the wall, feeling completely overwhelmed by how good she's fucking me. i can hear the squelching sounds of my pussy as she keeps thrusting, hitting that spot that makes me wanna crumble for her.

she keeps eating me, soft moans leaving her mouth, turning me on even more.

then suddenly, when i'm about to hit the climax, everything stops.

i open my eyes wide as i see her smirking playfully in between my legs.

"you're ready to take my cock princess?" her voice dripping in lust as she stood up. she grabs my hips and bites my pouty lips, kissing me once again.

she pounds with no mercy into me with her fake cock, my eyes rolling back from pleasure as i feel her hand squeeze my throat, choking me as she thrusts harder.

"you like it baby? you like my cock?" she says, heavy breathing as i mumble something that sounds like "yeah..yes..yeah"

she keeps slamming into me as her fingers leave my throath and go straight to my aching clit. she circles as i clench, showing i'm getting closer and closer to my release.

my moans get louder as she goes deeper and faster.

"you're gonna cum for me princess? i wanna feel you tight around my cock" she says, her moves never stopping.

i nod, desesperate. "se-mi.. baby i love-i love you so much.. so so much-" i cry out as my mouth opens in a "o" shape.

heat positions in my lower stomach, expanding more and more with each thrust, until it snaps.

i pull her by the neck, kissing her deeply to shut my loud moan as i cum. my cunt pulsating around her cock as she never stops moving, making my orgasm last even longer, while she hungrily returns the kiss. her hand leaving my clit and settling on my throat, choking me while she bites and pulls my lower lip.

"i love you so much princess" she says, slowly pausing her thrusts.

as she pulls away her cock leaves my insides, making me whine as i let my body go numb against the bed. my eyes closing as i feel her move from on top of me to sit besides me

her hands position behind my head, pulling me up to drink some water.

i open my eyes to see her hair sticking to her face, cheeks flustered and her eyes dilatated.

as i stop drinking and slowly sit myself in bed, she kisses me once again, her tongue exploring once again my mouth. the feeling that i'll never get tired of this sits on my chest.

"you didn't think this was all, right baby?" she smirks, breaking the kiss and grabbing my hips.

"you're such a good slut, you like this huh? being a whore for your best friend? this' what you wanted?" she teases me as her cock slams into me from behind, spanking me, leaving a red mark of her hand.

tears running my cheeks from pleasure and humiliation. the moans that came from my mouth chanting her name sounded almost pornographic.

"poor baby, all she ever wanted was to go dumb on my cock. you're taking it so good, my little slut"

she had me on all fours, rutting into me, making me take her whole lenght.

her black strap hitting places that made me scream from pleasure. my face against her pillow trying to quiet the moans she took out of me by fucking me ruthless.

"you only wanted me to fuck you dumb, fuck that bratty attitude out of you. look at you now" she said, spanking me as she went harder. "pathetic whiny baby"

one of her hands on my hips, helping her slam deeply into me, while her other hand threads my hair and pulls it, making me lift my face from the pillow with a moan.

"i dont hear you screaming princess, and neither can the idiots downstairs. i bet they want you like this, but you're all mine" she whispers in my ear bringing me closer to her chest without removing her cock, who fucks into me while my slick is covering it entirely.

she keeps pulling my hair harder and tighter. her moves becoming sloppier as her hand sneaks to play with my clit.

the circles over it and her cock thrusting non stop to my squelching cunt made me clench, the release feeling so close again.

"se-mi..se-mi i'm coming again" i cried as she kept slamming and pulling my hair so i couldn't fall against the pillow. my moans becoming louder with each thrust.

the pleasure taking all over my body, i cried as i felt myself reach the climax. she kept going with her moves, but started to slow down, softly grabbing my body to prevent me from falling hard onto the matress.

she pulled away, the feeling of nothing filling me left me whining. my body lays in bed as my breathing tries to become normal. i felt like i was passing out.

she lays besides me, moving my body to be almost resting on top of her as she kisses my head.

"i never wanted anyone else. and you're dumb for not telling me about your feelings. we could've done this sooner" she chuckles as i nod, tired.

"i wasn't flirting with nam-gyu. i always wanted you" i said with my eyes close, almost falling asleep.

"i know baby. but tomorrow he'll see the hickeys and i'll be happier" she mumbles, closing her eyes to doze off.

i hear a few knocks on the door as we both open our eyes.

"why do we get all the cleaning and you two get the sex? that's so unfair" thanos said, knocking again on the door.

we could hear him and nam-gyu mumbling as thanos laughed at him.

"a chance? "thanos snorts, teasing nam-gyu. "you're stupid if you thought se-mi would let you get an inch close to her" he says as the other guy shushed him.

se-mi scoffs as she hugs me, forcing me to close my eyes and doze off.

who knew falling for your best friend could end this good?

[jinxvex]

omg haiii :3 #1 i just found your account and i love your works! the way you write is just… mwahmwahmwah. besides that! i’d love it if u could do a jinx x reader where reader is lowkey oblivious but jinx is super obvious with how much she wants to fuck… and when she finally gets to hit she degrades and dumbifies reader… orrrr am i just thirsty 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

♱ fantasy. ♱

oh girl this is sexy trust, WE IS THIRSTY TEW!! also thank you, you’re so sweet!! i’m glad you enjoy my works :))

syp. the first time jinx set her glowy shimmer-charged eyes on you, she knew she had to have you—and she always gets what she wants. no matter that you were friends and you were oblivious to her constantly undressing you with her eyes, fighting her urges to completely ruin, defile, and destroy you. you’d come to realize soon enough.

cw: nsfw content!!, dom!jinx plotting on that p***y (lol), sub!reader (i'm a switch!jinx truther but let me cook...), a lot of degrading + dumbification, cursing, dirty talk, some praise, teasing, mocking, she forces you to take it!!, mentions of oral/fingering/gun-play, strap-on sex, hair-pulling, pet names (toots, hon, babe, baby, bunny, etc?), possessiveness, nastiness galore (lord forgive me!), reader’s past sex life is purposefully written to be vague, + prob more

wc: 4.2k!!

jinx’s fantasies involving you started a month ago when she was off roaming the rowdy streets of the undercity for a market sale. well, before it. she had begrudgingly taken up silco’s orders to keep tabs on the shipment coming in and out before the market opened to the public. for what? ‘who freakin’ knows?!’ she thought.

in retrospect, jinx was never an overly sexual person. she understood what it was, why people participated in it, and her own sexual preferences but she’d never devoted much time to finding someone to fuck or to fuck her for that matter. she's fucked before, but that was it. plunging her long, slender fingers into her own cunt while reading a racy scene in a shitty romance novel was enough to get her rocks off. she figured something was missing but she brushed it off.

her mind was… elsewhere most of the time.

(a month ago...)

lost in her thoughts, per usual, jinx doesn’t see you standing in all your beautiful glory. she walks right past you, eyes darting along everything she can see to accurately take in the information silco wants her to report back to him. she's still preoccupied with the inner workings of her mind and not too much with the zaunite public.

well, that's bound to change one way or another.

suddenly, she's stopping dead in her tracks. something's changed. the air feels charged, full of opportunity and something else. curly lines, shapes, and colorful graphics fill her vision—overwhelming but she feels as though she can really see clearly for the first time.

her nostrils catch a whiff of something… sweet. inviting. like freshly baked cookies although it's almost incomparable to how truly delectable the scent is. she's taken by surprise at the smell of something so good, good enough to eat, to devour. she’s never smelt anything or anyone so delicious. it intrigued her beyond belief, she knew that whatever it was, she was going to have that thing.

that’s when in her own self-induced frenzy she'd caused by frantically turning and thrashing around to look for where the smell led her, she sees you for the first time. as radiant as ever.

everything's in slow motion.

you're leaning up against a metal post and speaking to a market vendor, your voice as sweet as ever chatting to them about ‘who the fuck cares’. your smile is the brightest she’d ever seen living in a place full of drug addicts, violence, and poverty like you’ve never been subjected to zaun in your entire life.

she watches as you flip your hair to one side, hips swaying and fingers twiddling against your satchel. she watches you so intently, that she can see your eyes blinking slowly, she can count your individual eyelashes and remember the number for the rest of her life.

to say the least, jinx is enamored by the sight of you, let alone your smell. images of how good you'd look naked, and what your skin would feel like against hers cloud her vision, creating the perfect first impression of you in her mind. she looks further at you, specifically your ass and the jeans hugging it perfectly as well as the curve of your hips. the veins in your neck travel further down beneath your shirt and she can't help but wonder what your chest would look like.

bare.

before this moment, she'd never thought of somebody in such a vulgar light; it put her in a state of shock. she let her mind wander even farther off into jinx-landia and she imagines what it would feel like to slide her fingers into your pussy and press the pads of them onto your g-spot. she wants to know what it feels like to feel you get wetter and wetter and what it feels like to make out with your pussy—to push your own juices into your mouth and kiss you dumb. she thinks about testing how deep your cunt could get—how pretty your ass would look riding a cock, tits bouncing in the air.

controlling herself was something jinx always had problems with, so she isn't surprised when she is unable to stop herself from approaching you. her feet seem to be dragging themselves towards you like some sort of magnetic force.

“hiya, toots,” spills from her lips before she can even stop and think about what she's doing.

you pause your conversation with whomever you're speaking to, looking over in her direction to find her staring intently at you. confused and a little petrified, you stand up straighter, as you aren't expecting silco’s adoptive daughter to be staring you down at the beginning of some random ass tuesday morning.

“uhm, hey,” you respond, sounding more like a question rather than a greeting in return.

‘this is gonna be so much fun,’ jinx’s eyes light up and she lets her lips curl up in a friendly smirk, running through ways in her mind how exactly she’d ruin your body, mark you up, and claim you for herself.

because no matter what, nobody else is ever getting a piece of you now that she's sought you out.

no fuckin’ way.

…

somewhere in the present, there’s an idea—a certain narrative established between you and jinx.

you’re friends. good ones.

you don't know what else would explain the obvious liking jinx has taken to you. what else would explain the way she’s always touching you, looking after you, and asking you personal questions? questions so personal they have your eyes widening and gripping the edges of your clothes.

"have you ever, y'know, done it before? had sex?"

"what sorta stuff you into? like, sex stuff."

"you ever touch yourself? what feels the best? just trying to see if i could learn somethin' interesting for myself."

you never answer, often opting to lower your head in silence. how could you? it was wildly inappropriate and quite frankly, jinx made you shy. maybe it's because she's so pretty, and bold, and has a waist so small and touchable that you just want to-

no! 'why does she care so much?' you ask yourself frequently. no friend has ever been so crass...

duh! she gives a shit because she wants to fuck your brains out 'n then maybe cuddle you a bit! but you don't know that...

jinx follows you around too, insisting you need protecting since "you're too pretty 'n perfect" to not have protection.

one day, she started walking you to your god-awful job and never stopped. her excuse was, "can't have anyone takin' advantage of ya so early in the morning, princess. janna knows they'd try with a face 'n a body like that...whew", she whistled to herself.

needless to say, she kept your life interesting. she always seems to find you, no matter where you are. like she can sense your presence anywhere. you figure she doesn't have many people to talk to, everyone's scared of her being silco's daughter and all. but, you don't have anyone either; no parents or friends. no girlfriend.

well that makes two of you. sort of.

you both are currently smushed together on her sofa in her hideout making bracelets—snacks, craft supplies, and sleepover galore surrounding you. earlier on in the day, jinx had swung by your apartment (how she found out where you lived, you had no clue) and invited you over for a sleepover for the first time. you were surprised she was trusting you enough to let you see where she retreats at night and where she spends most of her time eating, sleeping, plotting; scheming.

she has a knack for making you feel special; like it’s just you two in the world and nothing else matters.

she makes you feel alive.

you’re shaken out of your thoughts by a grinning jinx. yes, physically shaken. both of her palms are placed on your shoulders, gripping them tight and looking into your eyes almost as a way to silently ask if you’re having as much fun as her. heat transfers from her usually cold hands to your skin which has you internally reeling. you’re wearing a tank top, comfortable enough with her to show a little something extra, “whatcha thinkin’ about, hon?”

you smile back at her, “nothing.”

you swear you see her eyes flicker down to your chest for a split second but you ignore it. her eyes move quick due to the shimmer, ‘you’re seeing shit, girl’ claims the angel on your shoulder.

“hmm, you’re lying.”

“am not!” you counter.

“are too,” she doubles back.

“whatever.” you finalize, emphasizing the ‘ever’. you’re not interested in arguing with her any further or giving her the satisfaction of proving her right.

you focus on the friendship bracelet you’re creating for her, determined to make it as pretty as you can for her. you want her to wear it—like it. love it, even. it fills you with a sick satisfaction knowing that soon you’d be wearing each other's creations, way more than it would if you just saw her as a friend. you see her pause her movements out of the corner of your eye but you keep going.

the faint sound of her own bracelet dropping to the couch cushion causes your head to rise up, looking at her in slight confusion. you’re not shocked to realize that she’s already looking at you.

“’m bored,” jinx replies blankly, pouting cutely.

“and grass is green. what else is new? you’re always bored, girl,” you playfully nudge her arm.

“well… grass has more of a grey hue down here so-“

the funny but slightly depressing joke nearly flew over your head but the knowing smirk on her face clued you in on her shenanigans.

you gasp in disbelief and nudge her arm a little harder now, fighting to stifle your laugh under your breath, “ha ha. very funny.”

“yeah, toots. i’m extremely hilarious,” she holds her head up high and crosses her arms above her chest.

she pauses, “let’s play somethin’.

she faces you fully now, right knee switching from resting next to your left to mirroring both of your knees, parallel to you. she scoots closer, and by now you know her calculating personality. you know that whatever she’s up to, has to be mischievous.

“ever hear of truth or dare?”

you roll your eyes, “of course i have!”

“then, you know the rules… right?”

“yes, jinx. i know how to play,” you rebuttal.

maybe you should’ve known her attention span wouldn’t last long while bracelet making. even if the speaker blared her favorite music at her gadget station, filling the space with a comfortable ambiance.

she smiles widely, “then let’s fuckin’ play!

“it’ll be so. much. fun,” she gets closer to your face with each word to emphasize her point, biting her lip and giving you intense eye contact. sexually charged eye contact. but again, you don't realize.

“fine. fine! but you’re going first. you're better at this sorta thing.”

she leans back to give you more space, just enough space to where it's socially acceptable to still be incredibly close to your friend. she's clapping her manicured hands together as her smile grows bigger and her shoulders tense with excitement.

"truth or dare?!" she asks in a televised over-dramatic fashion.

"truth."

'too easy' she thought. although, 'this is good,' her thoughts linger further. she figures she should start you off easy.

jinx has now stopped her clapping to put a finger on her chin in a thinking motion, obviously pretending to conjure up an interesting question that she's probably already picked out in her head.

"hmm...have you ever had a boyfriend?" she asks confidently, putting emphasis on the 'boy' part of "boyfriend" in a mocking manner; like how a sibling or family member would tease you about a crush.

your eyes widen, already caught off-guard by her first question.

"uhm... no. i-i don't really like boys like that."

she licks her lower lip and smiles once again, unbeknownst to you because you've just confirmed that she actually has a chance to win you over. although, she had her suspicions when she first met you.

"ever had a girlfriend?" she questions further, a serious, eerie edge to her voice appearing at the thought of you ever even romantically touching another girl. hell, in any way, shape, or form.

blinking rapidly, you shut her down quickly, "what, no! never really got the… chance to."

initially, you were going to tease her by mentioning that she was only allowed to ask one question but, you couldn't help but shake the feeling that she wasn't going down without an answer from you.

"awesome, good to know! your turn."

"okay. truth or da-"

"dare," she cuts you off delightedly.

you file through your mind to give her something entertaining to do but you find absolutely nothing, your mind blank like always the very moment you get around her. jinx makes you feel like you don't have to live your life thinking so hard. it's peaceful.

"damn, you are bad at this game," she snorts.

"hey, i can't help it. you've gotta help me here."

she raises a brow, "i mean, you could ask me t'do basically anything. y'know i'd do it," she slowly cocks her head to the side, still gazing deep into your irises. her braids follow the movement of her head.

"make it nasty."

"what the hell am i supposed to do? tell you to take off your clothes?!"

she doesn't waver, "yeah. yeah, that's a good one. do it."

you gulp, throat now dryer than ever and your fingers hurt from tightly grasping the fabric of your sleep shorts, 'here goes nothing.'

"u-uh... i dare you to t-take off your shirt," you order weakly.

jinx doesn't even let you finish your sentence before she's crossing her arms in front of her to tug the tiny, thin tank top off of her body, you follow her hands and you watch her chuck it on the floor carelessly. you look back up at her only to realize that,

she isn’t fucking wearing a bra.

you gasp in shock and secret arousal, eyes darting to the spot below you as you avoid looking at her soft, perky chest any longer, not wanting to over-step or make her uncomfortable.

"hey, you're startin' to hurt my feelings, babe. gave you that idea for a reason. makes shit more... interesting."

you look up to meet her eyes and for the nth time, you see her staring right back at you, gaze charged with something more than usual. you may have been oblivious, but you weren't dumb, something was definitely going on here. something that friends shouldn't do alone.

but you can't stop. it's turning you on.

the game continues on for many rounds after that, you and jinx switching back and forth from truth and dare, learning more and more about each other as time passes by. you start to get the hang of her outlandish questions, answering them shyly but not as reluctant as before. something you'd never get used to was the hypnotizing way her tits bounced with each slight movement, entrancing you. you learn that she's had sex once before and that she likes rope play and getting her hair pulled.

she also mentions other personal traits of hers that make your head spin, "y'know when i get wet, i get reeeally wet. like water wet."

needless to say, you know more than you should. she seemed to not mind telling you these things either, almost excited to clue you in.

"truth or dare, baby?"

"truth," you choose once more, the pet name affecting your better judgment and the seductive tinge to her voice causing the wetness already present in your underwear to leak through to your shorts.

jinx doesn't attempt to pretend to think of a question, "tell me, toots. what turns you on? what gets ya goin'?"

"what do you mean? like some sort of a kink?"

"yeah, like a kink."

embarrassment falls over your face like a dam breaking. you have to lie. this was getting too up close and personal for your own good and the only thing that could save what's left of your dignity is a lie.

"i-i don't know..."

so much for a lie.

her unhappiness with your answer is expressed when you see her narrowing her eyes at you. she leans in close, nose brushing yours and you can feel her warm breath on your face, "i know you're lying," she says real sing-songy-like. she's teasing you, and enjoying it.

her slender finger points in your face, “no fair! showed you my tits, toots! play by the rules."

"okay! okay! god, this is so fucking embarrassing-"

"c'mon..," she urges you on, eager to learn more about your sexual side and what takes you cream. she desired to know what made your pussy wet before she stuffed you full. but again, you don't know that.

"i-um. i read something onc-,”

she cuts you off once again, “don’t got all day!”

you sigh, “okay! i like getting called names. mean ones,” you blurt out quickly—sick of her antics.

“and i think i like it…rougher?”

her seemingly continuous stare falters for a split second before a bubbly laugh escapes her throat, smiling bigger and better than she has all day.

“oh, yeah? you like it… rough? you like getting treated like you’re nothin’?” she laughs out incredulously and somehow she’s gotten closer to you, lips almost close enough to graze yours.

“jinx… i- what are you-“

“what if we… played somethin’ else? somethin’ a little more worth our while.”

she figures, ‘ay, i’ve waited long enough…i need her'.

“like what?” you inquire even though you're no longer oblivious, catching on to what she means by “somethin’ else.” you feign innocence.

you feel a calculating hand travel up your leg, they’re slightly sweaty and cold which makes a shiver crawl down your spine. your chest visibly quickens, eyebrows furrowing, and eyes glossy with desire. jinx, still maintaining eye contact with you, remains calm although internally jumping for joy as she's finally got you where she wanted you the moment she laid eyes on you.

"how wet are ya right now, toots? you look like you're 'bout to cream your fuckin' pants!"

you audibly gasp, and she continues,

"i bet you're just drippin' down there... this whole time i've been sittin' here thinkin' you're being tortured answering all my questions, but, the entire time you've been gettin' off to it, haven't ya?!"

a single tear gathers in your eye out of complete and utter embarrassment. despite that, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't fucking love it.

her hand stops at the edge of your top, fiddling softly with it, "you can tell me to stop, baby! but, i have a feeling you don't want that," she whispers against your lips. you feel her tug the bottom of your tank top tighter, balling it in her clammy fist.

"dont! d-dont stop."

and just like that, a switch flips in her head. she's grabbing the back of your neck and smushing her lips against yours, capturing them in a searing kiss that has your lips aching. as soon as you feel her tongue attempt to break into your mouth, you let her in.

you initially jump in surprise but quickly sink into the kiss once you get used to the overwhelming contrast between her cold hands clutching your waist and her warm lips pressed on your lips. soon, she's basically drooling into your mouth, tongue trailing over every detail of the inside of your mouth as if she's trying to memorize the space. it's disgusting, really. but, it makes your cunt sloppy.

jinx breaks the kiss to pull your top over your head. she throws it on top of hers. the same one she abandoned long ago at the start of the game. it creates a small heap on the floor of her cozy abode.

"fuckin' whore," she laughs.

you moan, biting your lip softly as a seductive tactic to keep her kissing you.

"wooow!!" she drags out humorously, pressing her hand against your throat and tightening slowly with each word that comes out of her mouth, "you really are a slut. you like when i'm mean, slut?"

you nod, words seemingly impossible to form at this point.

she tightens her hold on you, bringing your neck closer so her mouth resides next to your ear, "if you don't speak up, i'm gonna make it hurt. 's gonna hurt so bad, bunny. gonna torture you. ‘n i know it’s our first time and all! don’t wanna have to scare ya just yet!"

unable to stop rambling, she continues, "hmm... maybe i'll shove the biggest fucking cock i have into your tight cunt... no prep! betcha you'd take it so well. hell, you'd probably like it! you're nasty like that."

"maybe i'll stuff my gun in there...with the bullets inside."

"please, jinx. fuck me.”

she just smiles, “i thought you’d never ask.”

…

you swear you see your life flash before your eyes because of how hard jinx is pounding your poor, abused cunt into the couch cushion. she has you face down—ass up with your hands held together behind your back by her own hands. your face rests on the couch arm, halfway visible to her so she can marvel at your eyes rolling to the back of your head and crossing achingly.

her own eyes roll at the sight of you in such a lewd state, “fuck, toots! you’re takin’ this cock so good. suckin’ me in your pussy like a good little cockslut. mmph. jus' swallowing it whole, fuck!!"

her pace is fast but calculated; and planned. as always. she’s roughly rolling her hips into yours to produce the addictive whore-ish moans to spill from your mouth. she’s also focused on watching her cock disappear in you, your cunt swallowing her cock like it was supposed to be there. the open space is filled with creamy cunt sounds and skin-slapping noises.

“holy fuckin’ shit, hear that? ya hear that pussy creaming ‘round my dick? she’s talkin’ to me, baby!”

you speak, remembering her resentment towards you not responding to her, “y-yes! i-i do, jinxie.”

“yeah?! you think she’s tryin’ to tell me how much she loves me? how much she loves when i split her open on my dick?” she reaches below your stomach to slap at your clit right where the balls on the faux cock meet your skin and you shudder in pleasure.

“fucking love your dick, ‘s so good, s-shit!”

it’s like her mouth won’t stop. she’s relentless—bullying you with her words as well as her cock. jinx pulls you up by your hair so your upper body mirrors hers. she slows her pace to thrust deeper and harder in you, damn near knocking the wind out of you. that causes to you choke on your breath, and your mouth is open as far as it can go.

“h-hah! aww… ‘s just sooo good, isn’t it?"

"see what happens when you’re good for me? good lil’ whores get good dick, ‘n i love givin’ it to ya, hon.”

you’re uncontrollably moaning, voice echoing loudly as you beg her for more—to wreck you.

“more! m-more please!”

“more?!“ she removes her hand from your head to dig her nails into your hips so she can get deeper, so she can open you up.

“you. want. fuckin’. more?!” she slams into your pussy with each word.

your pussy is drooling with your arousal and the shared sweat between you and jinx. you can feel it squelching down your legs with every thrust and throaty laugh she lets out at your pathetic form.

“god, you should see yourself. such’a perfect slut.”

with every word you feel your pussy quiver, getting closer and closer to cumming around her cock. when you curl your toes and inch off of her to prevent yourself from orgasming a whopping 3 minutes in she’s not having it, quickening her pace but keeping her almost-painful thrusts deep.

“nope! gonna take it all. ya asked for it, toots! you begged me to stick my dick in you. so take all of it.”

“b-but ‘m gonna cum! don't wanna yet! oh my god, p-please!!” you beg her for the slightest bit of mercy.

uncaring, she leans down next to the side of your head, lowering her voice, “you’re gonna fuckin’ cum, ‘n you’re gonna cum telling me whose pussy this is. who’s is it, babe?”

“who’s feedin’ this cunt good dick?!”

“you, you! only you.”

“yeah, ‘s me. cum, toots. soak me—get me wet.”

and that was it, “fuck! ‘m cumming!”

you release a soul-crushing moan and triggered by your sudden high, you grip the edges of the couch arm and fuck your ass back on her to deepen her thrusts if that’s even possible. wetness squirts from your cunt and everywhere around you, soaking the entire space below you including jinx’s lower half. the last thing you remember before you pass the fuck out is the hazy, content look on her face and incoherent mumbles that probably consisted of,

“that was way better than a fuckin’ fantasy.”

…

PLEASE TAKE THIS FOOD WHILE I WORK ON MY SEV REQS!!🙏🏽🫣...

[kinardsevan]

i've kinda kept my mouth shut (outside of the group chat, that is) on Buck's attitude and behavior in 809 on purpose. as a neurodivergent who has certain opinions in the face of Buck and Eddie's relationship that others have already pointed out (Buck's unending loyalty and willing to give while Eddie continues to take without thanks), there's something to be said about having abandonment issues and complex trauma that is being compounded all at once without any reprieve. so i'm gonna spell some shit out.

let's start right at 801, when we literally started the season with Buck running to the roof of the firehouse and his coworkers friends telling him not to jump, but also compounding that statement not with "because we care about you" but instead "because we'd have to clean you off the sidewalk". there's been discussion in the fandom before about Evan's passive suicidality and all that plays into that, but it's an important launching point for where we're at now, as far as I'm concerned.

then you get into the meat of the season. it's never exactly easy for him: first there's Gerrard and the complications of that relationship, then there's the issues of the boils/his health, then the breakup. then we waltz right into Eddie announcing he's leaving town to go be with his son, and suddenly we're arriving at a point in time that, in terms of "time" on the show, is probably only about a yearish out from him surviving being struck by lightning. that's also a major trauma to deal with, that we didn't really ever see fully resolved, and now we're about to add the kidnapping of his sister (and the possibility, however remote, that she miscarries due to her kidnapping? this has just been suggested in the group chat, but anything is possible).

i've seen the commentary that he needs to get over himself, that he was selfish for what he did to Eddie, that he needs therapy, etc. but here's the thing:

you can do decades of therapy and still be emotionally dysregulated in times of heightened stress. let's also add that in the midst of everything that was changing in Evan's life over the past year(ish), his one constant that he could rely on, was the relationship he was in. it was a relationship that--as many have pointed out--was the first time he was put first, was treated as though his feelings mattered, and he (as I assume we'll see come to pass canonically) likely felt seen. Tommy didn't pander to him, but he also didn't shut Evan's feelings down. I imagine in the face of dealing with Gerrard, his disloated shoulder (and the boils), Bobby's NDE and subsequent shift from being in charge the 118, Tommy was a stabilizing force for him. he got to go home and have someone who cared to hear about his ails.

so here we are months later, when all of his friends are back on even ground from the shit they all were going through previously (which he showed up for each and every one of them with, by the way), and he's sinking. he's struggling against the current of loss, after loss, after loss. and i'm sure somewhere in there (as someone who hsa gone to therapy), that for a while, he told himself to just go parallel to the current, and eventually he'd make it out. but I think we're also seeing at this point that he's caught up in a riptide. we know he's not doing okay losing Tommy ("I don't feel anywhere near recovered"/"I almost relapsed, I almost called Tommy"/"don't go leaving your people, you don't know how hard it is for them without you"), and now his best friend (who he's bent over backwards for many times in the last seven years, even in the face of being told he's exhausting and selfish) is leaving town. something that's baffling to me in the midst of Eddie's choice to leave too, is this: it's supposed to be a noble choice. he's supposed to be after this big pursuit to fix things with Chris and be a part of his life, and all that comes with that. I can understand not mentioning anything until he'd secured a place to live, however, once he had....why wasn't there a talk with Bobby, at the very least? why keep the secret of "i'm still figuring out how to leave here". wouldn't by the very nature of the fact that you're planning to leave and not return, you want to make that transition as smooth as possible??? wouldn't it make more sense to clue your friends in that you need a subletter, that your job will be vacant soon and your team is going to need someone to step in and fill that slot? it's not like these people are going to call down to El Paso and tell your family that you're on your way. and ALL of this is long before we get into the discussion of how he tells potential subletters that he has no ties to LA and that the real opportunities are in Texas. sure, we can continue to make the argument that Eddie didn't know Evan could hear what he was saying, and that he likely was only thinking of the future move at the time....

but also, as someone who can relate to the RSD, to the complex trauma and abandonment issues...it's NOT about that. Evan's reaction to Eddie's statement makes total sense to me because time and time again, I have voiced a need that sometimes, in the depths of feeling like I'm drowning in the deep waters, all I've ever wanted (and all I can assume Evan wants), is a little fucking recognition. he's not asking for Eddie to stay, and he states as much. he's not even asking for his people to put him first. all he's asking for is for his pain to be seen and recognized. to feel as though the people he loves, who bends over backwards to keep happy and from leaving, recognize when he's in pain. and yet.

it's why i have such a strong belief about where this story is going in terms of his mental health. you can only continue to lose, lose, lose so much, and sink under the weight of all of that before something breaks. and we can have arguments about how he needs more therapy, or how he needs to grow up, or this and that... but at the end of the day, you can do all of those things and still end up in the position he is. I made the argumentt to the group chat the other night that even under the contention that I'm likely more emotionally mature than Buck is, I'd still (and in fact have) reacted in similar ways to how he did. it's very easy to sit back and point fingers until you're faced with the same situation and all you're looking for is a little support, and everyone keeps shutting you down.

it's why my bucketlist hopes for the rest of the season see him going to the lengths of choosing selfishness if when he and Tommy get back together. it's that same vein that has me wanting to see a parallel to Maddie's s4 ending for him with his mental health, except I want Tommy telling him that they'll figure it out together. I want him finally getting to have someone in his corner when all the chips are down. obviously time will only tell if we get that, but we'll see.

[f-fuyuma]

Plushies

Quackity X Streamer!Female Reader

🍬 - fluffy

Authors Note: Hi there Angels, welcome back to another Quackity fic! I had some very sudden inspiration to write this fic and hardly any plans for it aside for that it continues off from the last one, so I’m just going for it! Hopefully it isn’t too bad and you guys can enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3

Warnings: slight bit of cussing because its Q and he is brushing off onto reader:p, reader is called “hermosa” again!

Triggers: None as far as I am aware!

Since your birthday stream last month, your streams have been constant and exciting. You figured when the birthday stream ended, everyone would unfollow and disappear, but they didn’t. People actually enjoyed the content you did, and thought the streams were fun to watch. It was the same way with Alex. You assumed he would just unfriend and move on with his life, but instead he was constantly inviting you to calls to stream with him.

You two were now known as the chaotic duo on twitch. You both were constantly causing chaos everywhere. Streams, calls, games, etc. How were you causing chaos? In minecraft, tnt and mobs were constantly being dropped by the both of you. It was just little things that erupted into big messy things.

Speak of the devil. Interrupting yet another one of your streams was Q who had a very specific ringtone that the fans knew. Declining the call to focus on the timed obby your doing, just to get another call from the boy.  

“ Yes chat, that’s Q calling. This is like the fourth time since I started streaming. “

The chat was blowing up making comments about Alex being clingy and shipping the two of you together.

Finally deciding to answer the call when he called one las time.

“ Alex Quackity, if you cause me to lose this record, I will be coming for you next in the minecraft event. “

“ Its so rude to ignore me, ___, I’m your bestfriend! “

Letting out a snort at the slight whine in his words, knowing it was just a teasing thing. You focused back on your task while waiting for the man to speak up about what he called you for. He never did though. Instead he stayed eerily silent which was definitely not like him at all.

Letting out a yelp when he suddenly let out a scream.

“ alex, what the hell! “. Not getting a response but instead a notification that he had begun streaming as well to which you pulled it up on your phone. As soon as you caught sight of him, you busted out into laughter. 

There he sat in his chair with a box in his right hand, staring at the camera with a deadpan, covered in little stuffed cats and bunnies. The look on his face would surely be later turned into a meme by one of his fans.

“ ___, care to explain ? “ , waiting for your giggles to calm down. Looking down at the toys covering his lap, before looking back up to the camera.

“ happy birthday? “ ,was all you could muster before you were laughing again.

“ my birthday isn’t till December! What am I gonna do with all of these! “, regretting the question as soon as he said it, because of what chat began saying next.

“ no chat! I am not using it as a personal body pillow! Don’t bring ___ into this! Shes in big trouble, chat! “.

Your laughing suddenly came to a stop at his words. Glad the chat can’t see you because you know they’d all be freaking out over how red your cheeks were. Letting out a soft cough and focusing back on the obby until you made it to the end. “ we did it chat! “.

“ ___, chat is wondering when you’ll do a face reveal “,

“ I’ll do a face reveal when you do a hair reveal “,  “ so never? “. Letting out a soft laugh and shaking your head. 

“ No, I’ll do one. I want to, just hadn’t really put two thoughts in it to be honest. I have a facecam attached to my computer. “, the dramatic gasp Alex let out had you giggling again. 

“ you’ve been denying us from seeing your face, hermosa? Are you crazy? Let us see you! “, his nickname had you red all over again. 

“ you guys really want to see? “, you knew you really didn’t have to ask that question because you already knew the answer both from chat and Alex, you just wanted to see the reactions. Feeling satisfied when both chats blew up, and Alex began to frantically nod his head.

“ well, okay, here we go. “, feeling nervous as you turned on the Facecam and looked to it, waving shyly at it as a greeting to them. Rubbing your hands gently on your thighs as you looked to the chat to read over reactions. Smiling brightly at all the compliments you were getting. You looked to alex’s stream to see his reaction and held yourself back from blushing when you noticed him just staring at you.

“ Earth to Alex, are you there? “

“ ____, why did you deny all of us this sight? You are absolutely stunning, hermosa!  “, that brought out the blush. Thus forth causing chat to go wild over the interaction between you two. “ thank you, weirdo, now do you want to play a game with me? “.

“ yes! Lets play baddies “.

Somehow you knew that he was going to want to play that, but truthfully you didn’t mind. You would play anything right now if it turned the conversation to something else. You didn’t think you’d be able to live if Alex tried to have a whole conversation with chat over how pretty you were. 

The both of you streamed together for about another hour and played together on facetime for another four hours. More than half of the time spent with him making comments denying him the sight and the other percentage was spent kicking his ass in Baddies. He didn’t seem to mind much and took the time to admire your beauty while you beat his avatar to his demise.

When you both were tired of gaming it was late. You both were exhausted but wanted to talk a while more. You didn’t mind staying on facetime so late, Alex made you feel comfortable. Comfortable enough to listen to his voice talking to you about streaming as you fell asleep. The facetime staying on the whole night with both of you sleeping peacefully.

This was the day you learned your feelings for Alex.

Authors ending note; Soo how was that? This one was definitely more lengthy than the last one and I didn’t really know how to format the talking so I just kind of made it work! Hopefully you guys enjoyed this one because it was really fun to write! Also this gif is going to be at the end of every q fic because its like hes cheering at me for finishing! Please let me know if you want more Quackity fics and send me in some asks! Until next time, My Angels 🫶

[chaos-chloe]

Hii! I'd like to request a droid xfem reader story, where the whole clooles gang (+reader) is playing never have I ever on stream and drinking and droid and reader get drunk-flirty and chat goes crazy maybe it gets a bit too heated 👀 and puffer has to emergency end the stream so droid and reader don't expose too much lmao, I've read like 100 stories with this same trope but I just love it so much 😭. I'd love to see more droid stories in general cuz there's not that much out there, anyways I'll stop bothering you now thanks, bye 🖤

You can never bother me love! and I have this write here just for you! I hope you enjoy!

Truth Or Hydrate - Droid x Reader

Summary: Truth or Hydrate where alcohol create loose lips

TW: Alcohol consumptions, established relationships, cursing, kissing

“Hi chat, hellooooss, Chat can you hear me?” Puffer said while speaking into his orange foam microphone.

“Hiya, my favorite internet people!” I greeted them hoping they could hear me as I was away looking at the laptop, “OO! You guys can hear me?” I said excitedly hoping our set up was working. I started seeing chat fly by quickly saying all types of ‘yes’, ‘yeah’, and etc. 

“Okay guys since you can hear me on my mic, lets see if you can hear the guy's microphone?” I said try to troubleshoot if something goes wrong.

“Of course they can hear you, they all simp for you.” Puffer said in a degrading tone towards chat.

“No comment from me, but they can hear you Puffer, okay someone else try.” I say changing the topic and moving on with the stream.

“Elloing chat, ellos? Testing, testing.” Pezzy started trying in a funny voice as he was playing with strings on his sweatshirt.

“Alrighty they can hear Pezzwald, grizzy or droid?” I asked seeing if they would greet chat

“Yer” “What's going on?” They both greeted Chat at the same time and started laughing. 

“Now turn on the camera.” I gave Puffer the cue, to show off our set up in our living room, you can barely see our hallway leading to our bedroom.

The bigger monitor I had stored away lit up with the guys in the frame on the couch with their respective drinks. I got up from my squatted position, to go make myself a strong raspberry margarita. 

“Chat calm down, ___ is making herself a margarita right now, for what we are doing.” Puffer yelled at chat for spamming.

“Chat what's going on? Chat. Do yall know what's going on today?” Droid asked as he was watching the monitor .”Someone else wants to explain, bro.” Droid acting like he was exhausted from ‘setting up’.

“Dawg, it was your idea!” I yelled from our kitchen, “By the way I'm making my marg, be ready for loud noises.” I forewarned the guys and Chat.

“I mean it is my stream I guess I can.” Puffer spoke as he took over, “Alright listen up, we are doing Truth or Drink, we are doing white girl sorority things.” Puffer spoke, his eyes swiping over the guys and making sure I was paying attention.

“Oop hold on, ___ needs to mix her drink.” Droid yelled over the guys laughing, I gave him a thumbs up and a wink and clicked ‘Blend’ on the blender.

“Okay, we are waiting for __ to join us on the couch, she is sitting in between Grizzy and I.” Droid began again as he was scooting closer to Puffer, and Grizzy scooted over to Pezzy.

“Chat, you guys are so weird towards her, you will see her outfit in a minute. She's literally joining us in a sec.” Pezzy stepped in, protecting me from the weirdos in chat. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m here, hello, chat.” I said walking into the frame of the stream waving. “As requested by my girl fans, this is a lazy day so I’m wearing an old black/dark blue off one shoulder shirt. I have had this shirt for a long ass time, I have no idea where I got it. I paired it with a cream drawstring lounge shorts, I usually wear these when I’m cleaning but oh whale.” I explained my outfit, doing a little leg lift showing off my no-show black socks, that the girls do with their OOTD videos; all while holding my big glass.

“Damn let me get a taste of that drink.” Grizzy piped in, letting me walk through the maze of alcohol bottles or drinks on the floor.

I handed him my drink, so I could get comfy on the couch in my assigned seat. I put my hand on DRoid’ shoulder to make sure i wawa balanced properly. He moved his head and kissed the top of my hand. Once I finally settled down, I grabbed my glass back from Grizzy and started siping, not paying attention to any of the rules or the jokes going on.

“Wait, what were the rules again? I was disassociating.” I was muffled with my straw in my mouth, I moved my attention to my boyfriend. 

“Truth or drink, you either tell the truth or you take a shot. In your case, take a big sip rather than your leisurely sips.” Droid repeated holding eye contact with me, making sure I was actively listening and paying attention to him.

“Alright, I can do that. So we are starting with the cards, once those become boring we move on to chat?” I asked to make sure that the information was correct, Droid was still holding eye contact with me, so I sent a wink towards him. 

“Yes ___” I heard from each of the guys, moaning and groaning from my lack of attentiveness.

“Oh shit, this is supposed to be played with hot sauce?” Grizzy questioned since Droid was opening the box of cards. He put the box to hold the card behind me on top of the couch. 

“Yeah, I mean do you wanna try it?” Droid offered Grizzy the bottle, while he was trying to get the pack of cards out of the box.

“No.” Grizzy declined quickly, “He’s a pussy, dude.” Pezzy making an effort to egg on Grizzy.

“Do yall realise that he keeps it at eighty-nine degrees in the house?” I interjected siding with Grizzy instantly, looking at Pezzy with a humorous look on my face.

“SEE EXACTLY!” Grizzy yelled “Yall think I want hot sauce right now?!” He asked with disbelief and slight disgust in his tone.

“That’s all Pezzy and ___, bruh.” Droid defended himself, holding his hands up by his face. 

“I pay the electric bill, of course I want it cold in the house.” I defended myself by acting offended at his accusation.

“Bitch, you were just saying you were freezing before the stream.” Grizzy shot back at Droid.

“I was freezing, feel ___.” Droid said while putting his left hand on my thigh. “DAWG GET THEM COLD PAWS OFF OF ME!” I yelled getting up and walking away from Droid, trying to warm up my thigh.

“See Grizzy, feel this.” Droid switched his attention to his next victim. Grizzy flinched, “YOOO!” He was looking at Droid as if he had frostbite on his hand.

Pezzy put out his hand to see if Droid and I were just being dramatically extra for the camera. Once their hands made contact, “Dude are you okay?” Pezzy asked due to shock.

Puffer reached for Droid's right hand to feel, and they interlocked their fingers together, “Now I’m okay.” He responded with a joking tone.

“Okay how are we doing this?” Puffer asked impatiently, he was wanting to get this shit done.

“We will take turns, you’ll get a turn, I’ll get a turn, ___, Grizzy and Pezzy or whatever.” Droid explained the ‘circle’. 

“Who are we asking?” Puffer continued wanting to get the base down pat.

“It's-its- It’s a group thing, so it's everybody. Whoever is in the room, pretty much .” Droid stuttered his answer, I started giggling due to his stutter.

“Wait this is bad then…” Pezzy dragged on, with me shaking my head in agreement.

“Imma need to add another shot real quick.” I added, “Y’all may need to get more alcohol.” Grizzy said with a suspicious tone and look on his face.

“Alright Puffer your on the end, do your Pokémon card thing.” Droid laughed as we all joined in cause the motion Droid did.

“What’s the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?” Puffer read the card out loud.

“I shit myself on a car ride home.” Grizzy said instantly and Pezzy started laughing along with him. “I was like 8, bro.”

“Oh, oh, I got one.” Puffer said, remembering his memory. “Oh I know yours.” Droid and I said together.

“I fell into the San Antonio river.” “Oh! Nevermind I did not know yours.” Droid taking back his statement.

“Mine was when I was in school and I trusted a fart way too much.” Pezzy brings the mic right up to his mouth resting it on his chin.

“Okay so all of y’all shit yourself except Puffer.” I nodded my head and laughed along with them.

“Okay Miss Clooless Princess, what’s your most embarrassing moment?” Pezzy snapped at me for laughing at them.

“Bleed through my pants multiple times in school and left a stain on my chair.” I said calmly and started sipping, Droid wrapped his arm around my shoulder bringing me closer and slightly kissed my head. Thankfully chat did not see it and no one is freaking out.

“Ugh that’s so basic for girls.” Puffer groaned wanting to know more juicy details.

“Oh, Oh!” Droid was reacting to the card in his hand. “Ask it.” Pezzy sneered “Okay you wanted this, dog.”

“In your opinion-my opinion who here in the room is the freakiest in bed?” Droid nodding his head trying to not make himself noticeable with me.

“Uhhh ___, is the most definitely.” Pezzy said out loud, he smacked his hand against his mouth so fast. I was astounded that the alcohol was hitting him this fast, but he did catch us in a situation once.

“You know what? I'll agree with you there, Pezzy.” Droid agreed, shaking his head and dapping him up. I looked at him as if he was a crazed man, not wanting our, mostly mine getting leaked on the internet. He shushed me and we kept moving on with the game.

“I'm not going to answer.” Grizzy and Puffer both agreed with me, as we took our respective shots.

“You know what? I'm going to say Droid and I feel like it because he’d be like ‘Yeah I have seen some shit.” Puffer started laughing, I started blushing and hiding my face while laughing. 

“And we just started going to town!” Droid continued as he lifted his Twisted Tea. He looked over at me to wink and send me a kiss. 

“Okay, okay.” I picked up my card for my turn, “You can only have one best friend, tell us yours.” I read out loud.

“I'm thinking of a title right now.” Droid deviously acted like he was an evil villain, plotting a big reveal. 

“Uh-um- nevermind.” Puffer was buffering thinking if he should reveal it, “Nah, just say it.” Pezzy, Droid and Grizzy taunted, “My old high school friend.”

“I have known you less,” Pezzy pointed to Puffer, “Damn, sorry.” Puffer responded. “But I have known all of y'all the same amount of time.” Pezzy said to us.

“Um i think you have known them longer than me.” Droid Pointed out. “Don't forget that we fucked.” Droid pointed out the fake news, to rile up fans. I smacked his arm with the back of my hand hard. 

“I know,” Pezzy rubbed his face, already feeling the alcohol, “My cat. Fuck you.” Pezzy flipped off Grizzy.

“Man, I was just about to say you but okay.” Grizzy shrugged his shoulders as everybody laughed at the turn of events. “You know what ___ has always been there and here for me.” Grizzy said while putting a hand on my shoulder. 

“I'm going to say Yum Yum.” I said while thinking of all the times he and I were in late night discord calls, Yumi was there when I met Droid, etc. 

“For fans who don't know who Yum Yum is, it's Yumi, only  ____ can call him that.” Droid said pointing to chat cause they were spamming confused emotes.

“Who’s your hottest friend?” Pezzy read the card out loud, “Grizzy.” Puffer answered right off the bat, he looked over to Droid for him to answer.

“__” Droid answered, I was leaning back on the couch with my glass in between my thighs. “Can I choose myself?” I asked back, everyone laughed together.

“Egotistical bitch.” Pezzy carriedon, which made us die of laughter and red in our faces. 

“Everybody has insecurities, what are two of yours?” Puffer pulled that card that I avoided earlier in the stack.

“Uhhh, my weight and my relationship.” Droid answered honestly, “Huh? Whatcha mean with that?” Pezzy wondered what he meant due to me sitting literally right there.

“If I’m good enough for my partner, my confidence is wack bro.” Droid explained his reasoning, with an all around ‘Ohhh’ of understanding. I quickly stretched back leaning where they couldn't see me on camera. 

“I love you no matter what.” I whispered behind his ear. “I love you too.” He turned his head towards my direction so the microphone couldn't pick it up. 

“What is your biggest online screw up?” Grizzy read with a smirk, “I'm taking a shot.” I said right off the bit. 

“Nah, nah it's already out there, just say it __.” Grizzy said to me. “UGH fine, I sold my feet pics a couple years ago.” I whispered into the mic as the other guys just gasped in shock at this revelation. “I'm still taking a shot for even saying it.” 

“Are you still making money off it?” Puffer as his curiosity peaked, “Nah I’m taking another shot, I do not care.” Downing another tequila shot while making a sour face. 

“Let the host read your last text message with either your significant other/partner or best friend?” Grizzy chuckled thinking he was going to get something juicy. “Oh hell no!” Droid busted out. I handed my phone over to Grizzy, knowing he wont purposefully snoop through our messages.

“Okay okay, __ has herself a little boo thing that she loves and wants to make sure that they stay hidden. She has him or her underneath “Hawt Stuff” and no picture, and I definitely do not know this phone number.” Grizzy read out loud thinking this was going to make me walk out, but instead I was just sitting there smiling and blushing. My eyes cut towards Droid quickly to see his reaction. Thankfully, his attention was being taken up with Puffer and Meghans text messages.

“I mean we don't have significant others,” Pezzy pointed out to Grizzy “and our friends are literally each other.” He laughed at the contradiction. 

“Hey Droid, who have you been trying to talk to recently?” Puffer fish for information, “Absolutely no one, but here's my phone.” Droid handed over his phone caught in a lie as Puffer started cackling. 

“Droid who’s LOML?” Puffer coughed out as he caught Droid, “HUH?” He yelled into the microphone. “No one man.” He quickly said, “Why do they have the same type of message that __ had?”

“I’m taking a shot, man.” Droid reached down for the Crown, and while he was reaching his hand on my leg to balance himself, he started rubbing his thumb on my leg.

“I have a good one, How many sexual partners have you had?” Pezzy read with a small evil smirk on his face.

I heard three from Puffer, ‘five’ from droid, 4 from me, and two from Grizzy, the Pezzy asked “what does sexual mean?”

“Sex.” Puffer deadpanned answered, “So full on sex?” Pezzy made sure, as everyone was nodding their heads yes.

“Dick and penis.” Droid said confirming but misspoke, which had all of cackling, hitting our legs or the couch, rocking back and forth, and wheezing to breath for a good hot two minutes. 

“There's my biggest online screw up, right there. I mean dick and pussy.” Droid corrected himself, as we were settling down and my margarita was hitting me I decided to put my legs over Droid’s lap and my head still on the cushion of the couch; scooting down a bit to get comfortable. Droid put his can in his right hand and wrapped his left arm around my shoulders and head. I kissed his shoulder, showing him some love on camera that some fans saw but not that many.

“What kind of sex are you having?” Puffer wondered jokingly, “Listen, I'm straight as hell, straighter than a goddamn candy cane. I mean look at this beautiful lady in my lap.” Droid said, calming down from that hilarious miss-speaking. 

“He’s like so dreamy, ‘who should i pick?’” Droid mocked Pezzy while holding his microphone up to his face like he was a teenage girl in a 90’s movie. I started laughing and everybody joined in, while feeling out shots hit us.

“Let's pick Droid, anywho Would you rather have sex with Droid and no one knows–” “Sure.” Puffer cut Pezzy off from reading the black card. “Huh-What?” “That was a bit too quick, man.” Droid joked as he looked over at Puffer.

“--But no one knows or not have sex with Droid but everyone thinks you did?” Pezzy regained his focus to finish reading the card. “That's our chat anyways!” Pezzy exclaimed, pointing over to the laptop Puffer had set up earlier.

“Fuck it, I already let him hit for free.” I slurred while taking a sip of my raspberry margarita, not wanting to look at Droid for suspense.

“Whaaattt?!” “HUH?!” “SHHHH?!” “hmm okay then.” I heard from every direction, due to the echo in the living room. 

“I mean chat already thinks we had sex, so why not?” I said, lollying my head to the other side looking at Pezzy.

“CHAT! ___ is way too drunk right now, we are ending the stream, say byeeee!” Puffer yelled into the microphone, as he was walking over to the computer, I turned my head to admire my boyfriend as he was looking at me, I gave him a quick peck on the lips right as the stream ended. 

“Did you know that chat definitely saw that?” “Mmm yeah, oh well.” I shrugged my shoulders. “That's a mess for tomorrow.”

[warblogs17282]

Stolas within parties, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. (Featuring Blitz)

Let's start with a bit of concerning behavior in regards to the happy pills.

We see Stolas take two pills at the start of the day, the day where he's about to meet Blitz again for the first time in years.

But when we see Stolas again after the events of s1 e7? He takes three pills, so at some point between these two moments in time, Stolas upped his dosage, and honestly, my guess is that the of events of s1 e7 is the start of Stolas upping his dosage, although I don't have any evidence to support this. While this doesn't point to anything in specific, it's still behavior to be a bit concerned about.

The Parties and Problem Drinking.

One of the things that interested me the most was Stolas being able to call Verosika's party as being about 'mutual pettiness' so quickly, and that got me thinking about the similarities between the parties that Stella hosted, and the parties that Verosika hosted.

In this part, Stolas feels rather isolated in contrast to the rest of the party talking to each other and having fun, and it's also clear to see that Stolas feels uncomfortable as well. Both of these are obviously because of the fact he still has feelings for Blitz and has just generally been isolated his whole life, but it also shows us a noticeable parallel between this party and the ones that Stella would throw.

Stolas is isolated and uncomfortable yet again. Sure Stolas is uncomfortable at Stella's parties for different reasons, but there's still two links between them I can notice.

The first being the reasons why both parties have been thrown in the first place, and the second being Stolas' relationship with alcohol in regards to parties.

"Stolas, you know I like throwing parties!" This implies that Stella throws parties quite often, and considering how these parties are really just thinly veiled excuses to allow Stella to gossip and chat shit about Stolas to her friends while being right next to Stolas, it gives us another reason as to why Stolas is uncomfortable being at Verosika's party besides his feelings for Blitz and being isolated his whole life.

It's because one of the main reasons Verosika's parties were thrown was to shit talk and to antagonize Blitz, or 'celebrating mutual pettiness' as Stolas rightfully calls it. There's various other reasons why I don't exactly believe that the primary reason why Verosika threw the parties was to 'help others cope', that I've covered before. It's clear in her behavior both inside the party and outside the party (for example, s1 e3), that Verosika hated Blitz for what he did to her before. (I'm not claiming that Verosika isn't allowed to be angry at Blitz for that, but her behavior up to this point is 100% going overboard.)

Alongside the violence against the Blitz shaped merch and cakes (which I will cover in this post), we see Verosika openly insulting Blitz to the entire crowd, and we know that Stella would insult Stolas to her friends at her parties. So, it wouldn't surprise me if another part of the reason of why Stolas is so uncomfortable is because he's been in a similar situation before to what Verosika is doing with the parties in regards to Blitz.

So, another thing we know is that Stella uses physical violence against Stolas, as shown by the time she attempts to backhand him in s2 e1.

Guess what we see a whole bunch of during the party against the Blitz dolls? Sure it's a bit exaggerated with the knives and mallets etc, but it's still physical violence, so it's reasonable to assume another part of the reason why Stolas was uncomfortable at the party was because of his own experiences with physical violence.

"Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want." - Stella

"I felt it rude not to stop by." - Stolas

I believe that these two quotes point to a sense of obligation to show up and stay at the parties for at least a little bit regardless of if the party makes you feel uncomfortable. Like that Stolas felt like he had to at least make an appearance and stay for a little bit.

Which begs the question, why does Stolas stay so long at Verosika's party, despite saying "I really shouldn't stay long."?

Two interconnected reasons come to mind. The first being the fact that Stolas was already starting to get himself drunk at the start of the party, which just naturally leads to Stolas just drinking more.

The second reason is probably because of the song. Stolas was very much just thrown into the spotlight and told to sing about his relationship with Blitz, so I wouldn't be surprised if that indirectly pressured him into drinking more, something I cover in the next section.

I think something that we haven't really considered is the PROGRESSION of Stolas drinking in both parties.

Stella's Party: The party starts, Stolas naturally doesn't want to be there and feels uncomfortable, but most likely feels like he's obligated to stay and make an appearance, so he starts it off by drinking a little wine. Then the most difficult part of the day happens, Stella starts talking shit about Stolas to her friends, right in front of Stolas as well. So I assume in an attempt to make the party more bearable for him, he gets the strongest thing he can get his hands on and just starts chugging the bottle.

Verosika's Party: Stolas joins mid-way through, feels uncomfortable being at the party for a few reasons, but again, most likely feels obligated to stay for at least a little while to make an appearance, so he starts drinking from the cups a little. Then Stolas gets to a difficult and emotionally taxing part of the night, the part where he's basically thrown into the spotlight, and made to sing about his relationship with Blitz, around 23-24 hours after the full moon argument. So the emotions surrounding that are still very raw for Stolas.

After that point you see Stolas start drinking a lot more, starting to chug that cup. Plus, when Blitz starts talking to Stolas, he also starts chugging the bottle itself quite a lot, in what I guess was because he was already partly drunk by that point, and in what I think was an attempt to dull his emotions more to most likely make the night more bearable for him.

At least, I think that was the general thought process behind the progression of Stolas drinking in both parties. The scenarios between them both are quite different, but I still think that there's some similarities to be noted here.

So, in conclusion, I believe that part of the reason why Stolas has an issue with problem drinking is because of Stella's parties, and that there's quite a few similarities to be noted between Verosika's party and Stella's party.

Of course, I can't make a post on problem drinking without mentioning the time that Stolas most likely got blackout drunk after the events of s1 e7.

Blitz and Addiction.

Now, I wonder just how many of you thought the question of 'Why is Blitz so concerned about Stolas throwing it back like this?' and the answer lies in Blitz's history with drinking, and addiction.

Let's start with Blitz's father, Cash, it's implied that he's an alcoholic, both from the picture below and from the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?", which tells us that Cash kept himself stocked up on booze all the time. So it shows us that Cash's likely alcoholism was always a part of Blitz's life, all up until Blitz left the circus.

There's also Barbie Wire who got addicted, although on a substance named H-8, instead of booze. We don't know exactly when Barbie Wire got addicted to H-8, but because Blitz says "Oh. Thank, Satan.", and the fact that Barbie Wire means a lot to Blitz, it shows that her getting addicted to H-8 most likely effected Blitz in some negative way.

Finally, Blitz has seen it again with Verosika, who is also an alcoholic, who went to rehab for it but got out because of her celebrity status. When she exactly became an alcoholic and went to rehab we don't know.

Something to note here is that, according to a study, addiction tends to run in families, and dialogue in the Queen Bee episode suggests that Blitz attended those parties Beelzebub hosts a lot in the past, because of this line "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", implying that Blitz used to be a regular at her parties.

Plus, in truth seekers, Blitz admits to doing a lot of drugs in college.

The only times we see Blitz drink during this show has been in social settings, and sure while Blitz did invite Moxxie and Millie once on screen to a dive bar, that doesn't change the point I'm making at all.

So, what the show is trying to tell us is that Blitz did a lot of drugs and alcohol in the past, and nowadays he's not completely avoiding alcohol, but the only times he'll drink is in social settings.

Regardless of how bad things have gotten for him, such as Ozzie's for example, Blitz refuses to drink or do drugs at all, he just ended up having a cry session on the couch and just consumed ice cream. Compared to Stolas who dealt with everything by most likely getting blackout drunk.

I imagine that Blitz very intentionally limits himself on doing drugs and alcohol, because he knows so many people that have the issue of addiction.

[masoncantthinkofaname]

Hey Mason!! I love your posts here and tiktok videos so much! I try not to spam likes, but it’s honestly hard not to haha

I had a question that’s been on my mind, and I’m still kinda confused about this part because of 2 "clones" of the previous awareness that shifted here...

So when we shift, I get that we’re fully aware in our DR and that becomes our 3D reality. But what actually happens to our CR body? Does it just run on autopilot, or does another version of us shift into it, become a "clone" and take over?

I’ve heard of a couple people saying their “clone” took over their body after they shifted, and the wild part is, the clone even chats and makes posts saying they’re a clone! One of them even had a name to tell them apart. I remember the clone’s name was Rana, and it wasn’t the same awareness as before. And then the clone of another different person even said she woke up here as this identity because the previous awareness decided not to come back

That just really made me wonder what’s actually going on with our CR body when we shift because we're not aware of it anymore

Thanks in advance if you see this! :>

Hi! So I'm going to be completely honestly with you in this response.

Clones don't exist, at least not in the way you expect.

Let's start from the beginning. You are in your 3d, your own little bubble that projects a reality, and allows you to experience it. You only have one 3d. So there's one physical reality that exists at a time for you.

This means that, when you shift, this reality doesn't physically exist in that moment (in your experience). The reality is still there, but so is any other reality. It just exists, but it's not something you're experiencing.

Nothing happens to your crself, you're not on autopilot, you're not a different awareness, you're just you, living life like you would have in any other case, most likely not even aware that you shifted.

But that's where it gets complicated, because this all boils down to your assumptions and preferences. It's also where time ratios come from. When you're in your dr, and decide to come back, you just choose a reality like this one that you come back to. It means that you can specify exactly where you want to go back to, how much time passed there, what your self in this place did, etc. You're in a way, scripting for your cr.

Which is completely natural, you're never in the exact same reality. It's like choosing to go back to what aligns best with your expectations.

There is no clone, there's just you. When you shift, there's not another awareness of yourself in your body, you don't merge with one, or take its place. It's all you, your expectations, preferences and desires. You're shifting every second, and so is every other version of you.

Now what about people claiming they're a clone? I'm not going to say all of them are lying, it's their reality and experience as well, and anything is possible.

Myself, I've also had an experience when I started shifting more actively, everything aligned, and I woke up here, but I got so many signs about making it home that I just felt in my gut that another version of myself shifted to my dr and didn't come back. However, your beliefs create your reality, I can never be absolutely sure if it's the truth or if I made it my truth.

I can imagine there are some ''clones'' that similarly just feel like their other self shifted. Some might start to recognise patterns. But I also think a lot of people in 2020 weren't completely honest with their experiences.

I rarely shifted with 'time ratios,' but there was a time where I would intend for the me in the reality I'd come back to, to already have written down my experience. I did this maybe 5+ times, and it was weird remembering how I felt while I was here and writing about something I hadn't actually experienced yet in that moment, while also having the actual experience.

The first time I skipped time here, me in this reality literally told my best friend that I tried shifting but didn't succeed, before I came back, and realised I did, in fact, shift.

As you can see, there are a lot of possibilities and experiences, and because anything is possible, you can never be 100% sure who tells the truth and who doesn't. But clones themselves are just a term to understand the possibility to 'script' for this reality better!

[louisisalarrie]

"they’ll need roughly 4-6 weeks minimum to end it" can you elaborate on this...i'm curious to hear your thoughts on why this timeline!

ooooo you just won a VIP pass to the show!! welcome

ohhhkay so louis ain’t in the paper all the time. him and za’s shit is currently, and often, F is mentioned in those articles too. and while they’re not allowing the kid’s face online (at least on louis’ behalf and the mirror ain’t gonna write about his nana/mama posting pics of him), it’s easy to name drop him in za articles.

so let’s roughly look at it like this (i do believe theylll rush to end it when they start to do so):

week 1. B posts weird insta story subtly shading louis and its “picked up” by media outlets (roughly an hour after posting)

week 2. more louis and za articles (cue a happy vacation or whatever) and these mention b’s. shady posts and speculating she’s not happy about the relationship (like they were starting to do with danielle), louis returns to twitter and chats to fans teasing about album release/shows announcing etc and “wishes he could see F more” (forget he’s a multimillionaire with time off smh)

week 3. pretty quiet, but B posts more angsty insta stories and daily mail asks an “anonymous source” how she feels about louis and za and they’re like “ffs she wanted to continue building an equal life for F between her and louis but she doesn’t trust za to be in the picture and dislikes her past and F shouldnt be around a woman like that”

week 4. and a bit more of B is revealed and said “anonymous source” says B’s not even sure he is the father anymore as F doesn’t seem to have many tomlinson attributes these days and she was young and fresh out of a relationship and hopelessly obsessed with such a friendly sweet awesome charming 1d boy and B has now threatened to have full custody so he will be challenging that in court quietly bc he loves his kid, but for him to challenge it he will need a paternity test (which he never did, but is mandatory in CA to have legal rights/custody/visitation if challenged)

week 5. fandom clinging on and gp invested, more articles and a “representative of louis” states that he cares about F soooo much and has always loved him and will fight for him no matter what and get that paternity test and he’s always been a fighter and loves his kid and promo from. his doco is shown

week 6. announced that louis is in fact not the father (photos of B leaving the court for some pap money ya feel, but not Louis hopefullyyy) but he loved F and will forever be there for him and he’s devastated but still cares about him etc, and needs to spend some time away from the public eye bc he “values privacy” and mad at B for making this so public. makes final statement at the end of that week saying exactly that, and goes MIA for about a month.

after this, louis continues to get good press about how much he cares for that kid, B and granny go quiet on social media, louis comes back weeks later and is commended for his bravery and releases a new single (strictly promo, no fan talk, which keeps people engaged to hear his newest drop after all this), silent again, then about 3 weeks after that, chats with fans and grows that relationship again (avoiding all bbg talk) and teases a tour.

this may seem rushed, but keeping people engaged and staying in the news these days is hard. it means fast moving stunts. it means that it could be done, with urgency even if it’s messy, if it grows interest for his newest album from more than just the fandom.

plus if it’s an open argument about this very topic with a millionaire, he’s gonna have the power and go to court sooner rather than later. he comes out looking like a good guy. he breaks up with zara a few weeks after his release. the fans have his back tho and he’s very engaged with twitter and we’re now all he has. niall is seen with him a little while later. harry is seen with him a couple weeks after that. rekindling of an old friendship weeks after album drops.

this is, yes very rushed, but they could do it if they wanted to hurry it up. it’ll be next weeks toilet paper anyway, particularly if there is a bigger storm incoming from another artist or whatever. i don’t think he’ll wanna drag it out when it starts happening.

but he comes out as the underdog again. as the family man. as the empathetic cutie who loves hard and loves his fans harder.

(this is very rough but god damn idek if his team could pull it together for this as a bare minimum)

[mummyemmatojames]

28.A Big Fight: Navigating Our Dynamic with a Visitor

Hello, dear community! Emma here, your Mummy-in-training, with a heavier update on our MDLB and FLR journey. James and I had a big fight today, and I’m still feeling shaken by it. My 14-year-old niece is coming to stay with us tomorrow for a work experience placement, and it’s sparked a major disagreement about how we handle our dynamic with her around. I’m holding firm for now, but I do feel bad—and I’d really appreciate your advice on how to move forward.

The Cause: My Niece’s Visit

My niece, Olivia, is coming while she does some work experience near our place. She’s a sweet girl, and I’m excited to have her, but it’s thrown a wrench into things with James. When I told him about it this morning, he immediately said he wants all our rules to stop while she’s here—no bedtime, no chore chart, no kids’ utensils, nothing. He argued that it’s “too weird” to keep up the dynamic with someone else in the house, especially a teenager who might notice something and ask questions. I get where he’s coming from—it’s a shift, and privacy matters to him—but I pushed back hard. To me, stopping everything defeats the purpose of a full-time dynamic. There’s always something on or someone around—friends, family, events—and if we pause it every time, where’s the consistency?

The Flashpoint: Bedtime and Embarrassment

The fight really heated up over bedtime. James is furious that his 8:30 PM bedtime (routine starting at 7:30) is earlier than what Olivia will likely have—she’s 14, and I’d probably let her stay up until 9:30 or 10:00 watching TV or chatting with me. He said it’s humiliating to go to bed before a teenager, especially if she’s still awake in the living room. I told him it’s no big deal—just say he’s tired and head off quietly. I even offered compromises: no “Mummy checks” after his bath or me brushing his teeth while she’s here, so he can handle those privately and avoid any awkwardness. But he wasn’t having it—he thinks the whole idea of sticking to the routine with her around is embarrassing, and he doesn’t want to risk her picking up on anything.

Then it escalated. He brought up the chore chart, saying he wants it hidden because my mum (Nanna) saw it last time and teased him about it. He’s worried Olivia might spot it on the fridge and ask questions—or worse, laugh. I get that it’s a sore spot for him after Mum’s reaction, but I argued that hiding it defeats its purpose. That chart keeps him on track—taking the bins out, making his bed, tidying his play area—and without it visible, I’d be back to nagging him constantly, which neither of us wants. It’s not just decoration; it’s a tool, and it works.

The Fight and My Stance

Things got loud—he raised his voice. I fired back that this dynamic isn’t a part-time thing we can switch off whenever it’s inconvenient—it’s who we are, and consistency is what makes it work. I told him he’s overreacting; Olivia’s not going to care if he goes to bed early and we can keep the more obvious stuff (like nursing or the dummy) private.

I’m holding firm for now—I don’t want to scrap our rules entirely. I think we can adapt discreetly: keep bedtime but skip the public parts of the routine, leave the chore chart up but maybe cover it with a magnet board if he’s that worried, hide the subtle kids’ utensils etc. But I do feel bad. I hate seeing him so upset, and I don’t want him to feel humiliated, especially with family around. I just don’t know how to balance his comfort with keeping our dynamic intact.

Where We’re At

Right now, James is sulking in the living room, fiddling with his train set but not really engaging. I’m in the kitchen, trying to cool off and figure out what to do before olivia arrives next week. I know he’s mad, but I also know he thrives with structure—this fight doesn’t change how much the dynamic has helped him. I’m just not sure how to make him see that we can keep it going without it being a big deal in front of my niece.

What Do You Think?

I’d really love some perspective from the community—how do you handle your dynamic when visitors, especially family, stay over? Have you ever had to compromise on rules like bedtime or chore charts, and how did it go? For those whose partners worried about embarrassment, how did you help them feel okay with it—or did you scale back? And if you’ve got ideas for keeping things consistent but discreet with a teenager around, I’m all ears—I want this week to work for both of us.

Thank you for being here as I wrestle with this. I love our dynamic, but fights like this remind me how tricky it can be to balance it with the outside world. I just want James to feel safe and happy, not furious with me.

With all my love (and a bit of frustration), Emma (aka Mummy) 💕

[benispunk]

Who's that girl?

Chapter 3: Stuck With You

The trio hangs out for the first time outside the apartment.

logan howlett x reader

TW: language, D&W, mentions of dark backgrounds.

A/N: third chapter!!! this one is really short, sorryyyy...but I'll post another fic as well as a new chapter this week to compensate, I pinky promise!! this explores the trio's dynamic again but do not worry, things are coming 🫡 alright I'll leave you to it!!

→ this fic is inspired by the TV Show New Girl, Wade and Logan aren't Deadpool and Wolverine (no powers/mutant gene etc) but I did take most of their character traits and storyline!!

Masterlist / Previous Part / Next Part

The sun hung low over the city, casting golden light over the streets. Y/N had spent the better part of the afternoon wandering around her new neighborhood. It had been a week now, and between settling down and work she hadn’t had the time to walk around the streets. Wade had recommended a few places that he thought she would like. She strolled through narrow alleys and wide streets, passing cafes, small bookshops, and one bustling market. There was also this cute park a few blocks down where she stayed for lunch. It was all new, yet there was something comforting about this quiet exploration.

She hadn't quite figured out how to navigate the subtle rhythm of her new life— but she would managed. Everything’s going to be okay, she reminded herself.

When the evening chill began to creep in, she made her way back to the apartment. She was looking forward to spending time with Logan and Wade; the three of them had started to form an unexpected bond. As she climbed the steps to the apartment, she wondered if they were home yet. She could already imagine Wade cracking jokes, Logan rolling his eyes, and her somewhere in between, soaking up the dynamic. She already loved them so much.

The second she unlocked the door and stepped inside, Wade's voice boomed from the kitchen.

" And she returns!" He leaned against the counter, grinning. « So? How was your little solo adventure?".

Y/N smiled, closing the door behind her. "Amazing. I visited all the places you recommended and I’m definitely going back as soon as possible". Wade pumped his fists in victory with a little "Yes!", which made Y/n smile even more.

Logan appeared in the living room, a faint smirk playing on his lips. "You got lost?"

"Only once or twice," she admitted, tossing her bag onto the couch. "But it's nice around here. I loved the park— I might check it out more later this week."

Wade clapped his hands together. "Perfect. Now that Dora the Explorer is back, we can finally head out to the bar. My set starts in an hour." His eyes sparkled mischievously. "And you're both coming, right? Because what's a gig without my loyal fan base?"

Y/N grinned. « I can’t wait! »

Logan just shrugged but nodded, clearly used to Wade’s antics. "Yeah, alright. Let’s go."

———

The bar had a laid-back atmosphere. Dim lights flickered over dark wooden tables, the low hum of conversation mixing with the occasional clink of glasses. They found a booth near the stage, a perfect spot to watch Wade’s performance later.

Y/N slid into the booth, Logan following after her while Wade grabbed drinks from the bar. She glanced around, taking in the crowd. People were laughing, chatting, and enjoying the night.

"This place is cool," she commented.

Logan nodded, leaning back in his seat. "Wade performs here a lot. Thinks he’s the star attraction."

She laughed. "Well, I guess we’ll find out tonight."

A moment later, Wade returned with drinks, setting them down on the table. He plopped down on the seat across from them, a wide grin on his face. "Alright, Y/N, prepare yourself for the best comedy set you’ve ever seen— or, well, at least the best one you’ll see tonight."

Y/N grinned. "No pressure."

They sipped their drinks, the conversation starting off light. Wade was in his element, cracking jokes about the people around them, the bartender, the state of the world. It was easy to laugh with him, the energy infectious, and even Logan cracked a few smiles in between his usual deadpan responses.

As the night wore on, Wade excused himself to get ready for his set, leaving Y/N and Logan alone at the booth.

"You think he’s nervous?" Y/N asked, watching Wade walk toward the stage.

Logan shrugged. "If he is, he hides it well."

They shifted their gazes to the stage as the lights dimmed, and Wade took the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Wade’s voice boomed through the speakers. "Give it up for me!" He winked at the crowd, earning a round of laughter.

"But seriously, thanks for coming out tonight. I hope you’re all ready to laugh, because I’m in desperate need of some validation!"

Y/N and Logan laughed along with the rest of the audience, Wade launched into his set, his energy filling the room. He was good—better than Y/N had expected. His jokes were sharp, his timing perfect, and he knew how to work the crowd. Y/N found herself laughing harder than she had in a while, and even Logan seemed to be enjoying himself.

———

After Wade’s set, the three of them were back at the booth, drinks in hand, a warm buzz from the alcohol and the laughter still lingering in the air.

Wade took a long drink from his glass and leaned back in his seat, satisfied. "Not bad, huh? I’d say I killed it."

Y/N grinned. "I have to admit, you were pretty great."

"Pretty great?" Wade put a hand on his chest, feigning offense. "Come on, I was spectacular."

"Sure, bub" Logan deadpanned, taking a sip of his beer. "Spectacular."

Wade waved a hand. "I’ll take it."

"It was fantastic, Wade, really." Y/n declared and Wade grinned, before thanking her.

The conversation drifted into the easy banter that had become familiar between them. They teased each other, joked about the people in the bar, and laughed at some of Wade’s stories from previous gigs. It felt good— natural.

At some point, after a pause in the conversation, Y/N found herself staring down at her drink, feeling the weight of the day. She hadn’t meant to go there, but something about the night— the warmth, the comfort of being with them— made her want to share more.

"You know, I’m really glad I found you guys." she said quietly, her fingers tracing the rim of her glass. "I never thought I would ever get along so well with people. I mean, that fast. You really welcomed me into your family and I’m grateful. So, thank you for that."

Logan and Wade both smiled at her, their expressions softening.

"God, what did I say about making people want to cry?" Wade said, wiping a fake tear from his eyes. 

Y/n chuckled and joined his act, "I’m sorry, I need to break some rules too!"

"Too?! What are you insinuating ? You’re a teacher, you should be ashamed of yourself."

They all laughed before the tone became serious again, "I don’t want to talk in Logan’s name, but, I'm going to anyway— it’s a real pleasure to have you. Like, you’re a perfect roommate. And you survived a whole week with us? I know people who would die just thinking about it— "

"Okay, that’s enough," Logan intervened, "but he’s right. We’re glad to have you too. And if you ever feel like you’re tired of us, please, don’t keep it to yourself."

Y/n smiled softly, "Thank you."

They talked again for a while, about their day, their week, anything that would come to mind. Somehow, the conversation wouldn’t stop.

Y/N took a slow sip from her drink, her smile lingering but her eyes distant, as if a thought had crossed her mind during the conversation. Logan noticed first, tilting his head slightly.

"Something on your mind?" he asked gently.

Y/N glanced up, offering a small, almost sheepish smile. "It’s just... talking about being part of your ‘family’— it got me thinking about mine."

Wade, who had been busy throwing peanuts in his mouth while telling yet another story, paused and looked over at her, eyebrow raised. "Oh, are we diving into family history now? Because I’ve got stories that’ll make your childhood look like Disneyland."

Y/N chuckled but shook her head softly. "No, it’s just... my family’s complicated." She took another sip, as if to steady herself. "I had a great childhood, really it was perfect. I mean, I know nothing’s perfect and 'normal' doesn’t exist, but it was great. Until it wasn't, of course."

Logan leaned in slightly, his expression soft but attentive. "What happened?"

Y/N’s fingers absently traced the rim of her glass again. "My parents divorced when I was 12, I think? It was a mess. They were fighting over who would keep the children. My brother was already in college and his dream was to leave the country, so, it was only me and my parents. In the end, I would stay at my mom’s during the week and my dad’s on the weekend. You know the drill. Anyway…"

Y/N sighed softly. "Even after it was done, they would still fight. And I realized they weren’t even fighting to keep me anymore. When I was at my mom’s she would only talk bad things about my dad, and vice versa on the weekends, and I felt so lonely. So, it’s kind of like my deepest fear now, to be alone. I mean, I can be alone of course, but to feel like everybody abandoned you and you’re just by yourself? That feeling, well, you made me forget it."

There was a silence for a moment, a contemplative pause. Then Wade spoke, his tone unusually serious. "Yeah. I get that." He glanced at Y/N, then at Logan. "My childhood was... rough. I’m not going into details but, yeah, I was alone for other reasons. And I still had to go to school and because of what was happening at home I guess I developed my own medicine for that. Humor became my way of dealing with it. I learned that if I could make people laugh, I could hide what was really going on."

Y/N felt a pang of empathy for him. She hadn’t expected Wade to open up like that, but it made sense. The humor, the constant jokes—it was his armor, just like she had her own ways of coping.

Logan shifted in his seat, his gaze focused somewhere beyond the table. "I’ve got a brother," he said, his voice low. "Victor. We don’t really talk anymore. Haven’t in a long time."

Y/N and Wade waited, sensing there was more.

"Things went south with him a while back. We were close when we were kids because…some stuff happened, but... yeah." He trailed off, the unsaid heavy in the air.

Wade took a sip of his drink, his usual bravado softened by the seriousness of the moment. "Family, huh? It’s a mess. But," he added, flashing a grin, « You two? You’re both stuck with me now."

Y/N laughed, and even Logan’s lips quirked into a small smile. The heaviness of the conversation lifted slightly, but the bond between them felt a little stronger after that. They didn’t need to dive deeper right now— they all knew the weight of their stories, and that was enough for the moment.

The night carried on, the trio falling back into their rhythm of jokes and teasing, but something had shifted. The laughter was still there, the lighthearted banter, but now it was layered with a deeper understanding.

XXX

[spoonfulofmilo]

Full fic??

I’ve read that Logan S. felt really lonely being the only American in F1. Like, he wasn’t completely accepted in the grid. Maybe he has an overprotective older sister who is a professional soccer player (like World Cup level good) who finally has time to attend his races. She dislikes most of the grid, except Alex and Oscar, for how they treated her brother. quick to defend Logan and even as far as annihilate them during the annual driver soccer match to prove a point. Im thinking G. Russel pairing due to Logan living in England. he wins her over by treating logan right, acknowledging he could have been welcoming, etc. Just a thought!

OKAY I HONESTLY LOVED THIS! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE (let me know if you want a part 2, because it is a bit of an interesting ending haha)

my masterlist can be accessed here

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

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edit: i wrote part 2 - it is here

part 3 is here

George Russell x reader, logan sargeant x sister!reader

---

Y/N loves her brother, she really does. Yeah, she’s tried to get to a few of his F2 rounds, but with her soccer taking her around the world, she has had very little time. She has the entire month off though, so what better to do than visit her brother at his home grand prix. Miami is always a party, so maybe she could let loose for a bit, try and relax, and find a guy.

This is quickly vetoed when she finds Logan cooped up in his drivers room. While most people would think that he was excited for the race, most people weren’t Logan’s sister. She could tell he was thinking too hard about something, and it wasn’t good.

“Hey Logie Bear! Whatcha thinking about?” She tried to appear happy, but she could see that Logan’s smile did not reach his eyes

“Nothing, just excited for the race, the car is quick, just aiming for some points, hoping for a safety car. The garage is over there, sorry I have to warm up.” Y/N looked up as Benny entered the room and Logan stood up. She could tell how closed up he was, how he didn’t want to talk at all

“Okay, we’ll talk after the race Logan! Good luck, you'll smash it!” Y/N walked out of the drivers room towards the garage seeing the chaos of it.

Y/N watched as Logan apologised over again and again to his engineer for not making up any more places. She stood there listening to his engineer reassure her younger brother. She eventually decided that she couldn’t listen to it anymore and decided to wait in his garage room.

When he walked in, Y/N could tell he wasn’t sure whether to throw stuff or cry. 

“Hey, hey, come here! It’s okay, it’s okay!” She opened her arms and sat down as Logan fell down into them and hugged her baby brother, as he started talking the words just rushed out

“I just wanted to prove that I deserve to be here, feel like I’m a part of the paddock.” Logan hugged his sister back tightly, hesitating slightly.

“What do you mean? Of course you’re a part of the paddock, you’ve got your seat, y’know?” Y/N was confused as to what her brother meant, from what she had seen, he was welcomed warmly by everyone.

“Yeah but, I’m never invited to the grid parties, no one really ever talks to me, except Alex and Oscar, and Oscar is getting into the rest of the grid through Lando, and Alex is only really talking to me because I mean, he’s my teammate we have to be friends, and I just want everyone to like me… so I thought maybe if I got some points and good overtakes, then people would like me..”

“Oh, Logie… It’ll be okay. If they don’t like you then I think they’re just idiots, but they won’t. They’ll warm up to you, I promise.”

---

George watched as Y/N sprinted up and down. Okay the F1 team was never going to win, particularly when multiple women who were playing in the world cup were playing on the opposition team, but ‘Sargeant’  (who also had the same name as the rookie driver this year, who was sitting in the stands) was dominating, she had more goals then all of the f1 team, so of course the celebrity team won 4-1. She’d almost immediately jumped into the stands once the referee blew the whistle and started talking to Logan, maybe the kid got married young and just didn’t want anyone to realise. 

Although she looked quite similar to Logan, so maybe his sister instead. Either way, she did not seem to like them, she called them all dickheads and shoved them over a few times. George’s knees were sore. But she was still pretty. So he approached Logan and the girl.

“Hello! I’m George and…’

“I’m pretty sure my brother knows your name, Georgie! Why don’t you say hello to him?”

“Y/N-”

“No. Say hi to Logan, George.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, almost forced.

“Hey Logan! Looking forward to the grand prix this weekend?”

“Uhhhh… yeah. ” He turned back to Y/N “I’ve got some stuff to do, so you can make your way back. See ya!”

As soon as Logan was out of listening range, Y/N pulled George in and started whispering, “Listen, I don’t know what problem you have my brother, but you need to get over it ASAP, understood?”

“I.. don’t have a problem with your brother.”

“Well, then why is he telling me that there have been 2 people, Oscar and Alex, who have actually welcomed him to F1. Everyone else has snubbed him and he doesn’t understand why you don’t like him. He’s lonely. So fucking sort your shit out.”

George stood there, mouth gaping as she stormed off to grab her bag and then sprinted after Logan. He could almost hear the f1 team laughing at his failed attempt at flirting, but all he could think about ‘was what she said true?’’

---

Y/N was going to cry.

She could see Logan in the family and friends box, hands over his mouth, eyes glassy.

That corner kick should’ve gone in, she thought, we had so many chances and we still fucked it all. Couldn’t even give Megs a proper farewell.

She walks slowly over to her younger brother and let his arms wrap around her

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Dragged you halfway ‘round the world when you should’ve been training only to lose the first game.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Go pack up, we can head home and spend some time in London relaxing. I’ve got next week off before I need to be back in the factory.”

—

Y/N was awoken by a knock on the front door. Hearing Logan snoring from his bedroom, she got up off the couch, rubbing her eyes and opened the door.

Of all the people she was expecting to see, George Russell would’ve been just about the last on her list “Uhh, hey?”

“Oh, morning! Is your brother up?”

Y/n paused for a moment to let George hear the snores coming from Logan’s bedroom. “Yeah, no, sorry. I can pass on a message?”

“Oh, No I was just going to offer if he was still up to go on a morning jog with him, but as he isn’t…”

“You been doing this often?”

“Almost every week we’ve been in town. I don’t think he understands what or why I’m doing this. But, he’s a good kid, opens up a bit when you talk to him. He likes you, respects you a lot for 2 siblings pursuing their sport across the globe.”

“I’ll make some breakfast and you can stay til Logan wakes up, okay? As a thanks for looking out for him. Hard for me to do from across the globe.” Y/N looked tense, with an almost forced smile. She looked awkward, before stepping back, holding the door open so George could come in.

---

“LOGAN SARGEANT!”

“Hello, dear sister, what do you want?”

“YOU GOT POINTS!”

“I think you must have watched a different grand prix, I got P12.”

“Hamilton and Leclerc got disqualified, something about wood, but you got points!”

“OH MY! AHHH! I had no idea, oh god!”

“YEAH! MY LITTLE BRO FINALLY GETTING F1 POINTS! WOOHOO! We must celebrate when we’re both in town!”

“AHH! Shit, wait I think people are coming in, give me a sec.

You’re on speaker dear sis, Alex, Oscar and George are here.”

“HELLO OSCAR! HI ALEX! HI GEORGE! DID SOMEONE BRING CHAMPAGNE???”

---

Y/N looks at the buzzing phone on her bedside table. Well clearly she had grabbed Logan’s phone before bed last night. She looked at the contact name

‘George - probably calling about something from the GDPA.’

She picked up.

“Before you start talking, I’m not Logan and I have not signed any NDAs related to his contract so, don’t talk to me.”

“Hi Y/N, do you know where Logan is?” George’s voice was way too cheery for however fucking early it is right now.

“Yeah he’s in his bedroom, he grabbed my phone and I grabbed his, why?” Y/N swung her legs out of the bed and stood up, still rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, can you come answer the door?”

“The door, why?” Y/N got up, and walked to her front door and opened the door to …nothing.

“George, are you pulling a prank on me? There’s nothing at the door.”

“You haven’t opened the door!”

“George… Logan and I are in Florida for Christmas. I’m guessing you’re in London.”

“Oh…yes. Bugger. I came to congratulate him on his contract renewal and so now I’ve got food and flowers and stuff and he’s not here!”

“If you go round the block to 20 XXX Close, there’s a single mom there, who will appreciate some Christmas cheer Georgie.”

“Oh, thank you. I’ll send it over.”

“Why were you congratulating Logan, George? I didn’t think you cared. Only Alex and Oscar have reached out so far.”

“I..I remember what you said at the soccer match, about Logan feeling ostracised by all of us. So I’ve been trying to make him feel welcomed… not just because you said that, and I like you, but also because I kinda realised we’d all be failing him as a grid, so i thought if I started it, maybe others would catch on. It didn’t work, but I think he feels more included.”

“That’s very nice of you Georgie. I’ll pass on your congrats. Now it’s like 7am here, and I didn’t need to be awake today, so i will be heading back to bed. Night Georgie boy.”

[literaticat]

I'm at my wit's end. I've spent a decade trying to break through - 10 years with 5 novels coming super close with a variety of big publishers, who rave about my writing, ideas, etc. Feedback has been mostly positive. One even rejected saying "I don't know why we're rejecting this, it's EXACTLY what we're looking for and ticks all our boxes, but we feel compelled to reject it anyway." Is there just a "Do Not Publish" sign on my head? How to keep pushing ahead after so long and so much rejection?

(OP continues...) "Sorry about the rant, Jenn, and I know there's not much you can say as you don't know my specific situation. But it's just maddening. 10+ years of my life! I know everyone faces rejection, but I seem to mostly get positive feedback and so many "close calls" of almost getting a deal - a lot of interest, but then it just peters out. That "compelled to reject anyway" just made me start feeling like I'm just fated to never be published, no matter what? I'm unagented now, starting from scratch..."

OK first of all -- that rejection, if that is literally what they said, is utterly insane. I have to presume (HOPE? PRAY?) that you are paraphrasing, that that is what it *felt* like to you, but that's not LITERALLY what they said??? Because there are certainly things where, on the surface, yes, this is what a publisher is looking for and it "ticks the boxes", but ultimately, it doesn't have that X-factor, je ne sais quois, or whatever -- so I can see a publisher saying something like, "while the writing is admirable and the premise is interesting, ultimately, we weren't compelled enough to make an offer for publication" -- which is ALMOST what you said, but there's a key difference that makes it actually normal and not insane. Because in YOUR version, it sounds like they are under an imperius curse or something, where they don't know what they are doing or why they are doing it, they just have to do it, even though it is against what WOULD be their better judgment if they weren't cursed. And... it's wild to think that a publisher would make a statement like that. (Maybe they were having a very OFF DAY???) -- BUT ANYWAY, on to the crux of your question/rant:

I understand your frustration. If it makes you feel any better (??), you're not alone. I know many -- MANY -- MANY career authors, who spent 10 years honing their craft, trying and failing, getting rejections, getting close-but-no-cigars, etc. I was chatting with a wise (and now famous) author I know, who spent 10 years or so in the query/wrong-agent/rejection/close-call trenches. She told me a theory that I feel pretty sure is right, though I don't have proof per se, it does track with my observations. She said:

Just about everyone who sticks with writing or the arts in general as a career has about a ten-year rough patch. That doesn't mean it takes everyone ten years to get published! (Though it does take LOTS of people 10+ years) -- Some lucky people get their break a lot sooner than that. BUT. Everyone has to pay the piper that ten year fee, either all at once, or in installments. So let's say you sell your book right away and start raking in the accolades etc -- fab! Just know that nobody stays popular and beloved forever, and at some point, the ten year slump is coming for you. Aren't you lucky that you're getting yours out of the way now?

OK, if that didn't work for you, how about this:

How to keep pushing ahead after so long and so much rejection?

You know you don't have to, right?

Like, if writing and seeking traditional publication is making you miserable -- you can stop. In fact, stopping may be a great idea.

I say this not to be discouraging, but rather, encouraging, actually. I encourage you to give yourself permission to prioritize your own mental and emotional well-being.

If you realize you miss writing and can't live without it -- go back to it! But maybe instead of having "publication" as your goal, your goal can be writing for the pure joy of it, without worrying about future queries or would-be agents or anyone else's expectations. What freedom! Embrace that!

Then when you do have a brand-new shiny manuscript, you can decide your next steps. Maybe it's trying again for traditional publishing, and this is the turn around the track that changes everything. (It should be close, if the 10 year theory is correct!)

OR, maybe it's self-publishing. (Lots of people have a lot of success there -- maybe you're one of them!) --

OR, maybe it's just chilling out and writing some more for your own pleasure -- creating art for the sake of creating it, for fun, for self-fulfillment, etc. Like, you know, a normal hobby, that nobody is expecting you to monetize or make into a "gig".

[noturlondonboy]

Do you think (as like a head cannon) that Kate, despite being the world's greatest archer, sucks at archery in Minecraft?

Bishova Minecraft Headcannons

Hi my loves. I’ve been gone awhile. Missed you all ❤️

But anyway…

Oh my god

I LOVE Minecraft so I was soooo happy when I got this ask. Let’s get into it!!

-I love the thought of Kate being an engineering major, and part of that is because of Minecraft. Her dad is the one who showed it to her in 2009, a few months after the first ever alpha build was made available. Kate was seven at the time, and Derek would hold her on his lap as he played on the PC, helping her learn the game right along with him.

-The full game release in 2011 was a big deal to Kate. Derek still liked playing, of course, but Kate had more free time on her hands as the time went. She played anytime she could- after school, after homework, after dinner, etc.

-when her dad died in 2012, she stopped playing for several years. It hurt too much to hear all the sounds and see all the graphics that she associated with her dad. She got swept up in her different extracurriculars, learning and training to be strong so that she could protect the family she had left.

-Kate got back into Minecraft in high school, but it wasn’t voluntarily. Her engineering class had several units where Minecraft was used as a learning tool, and Kate eventually had to admit to herself that she had missed playing.

-Eleanor is so relieved when she notices that Kate had gotten back into Minecraft, and she decides to go all out, helping Kate set up a Minecraft themed gaming room. Sometimes it’s all she ever wants to talk about. Kate starts collecting Minecraft figures and plushies, creating whole big scenes with the small toys on her shelves.

-(she may or may not have written fanfiction for it and gotten big on tumblr)

-her favorite mode is creative, and she loves to build. Building and building and building, creating huge houses and intricate red stone systems, constantly learning more from YouTube videos and different books.

-Yelena doesn’t learn about Minecraft until after she meets Kate.

-they play together for the first time before they’re dating. It’s a late night and Yelena wanted to check in on Kate after patrol and a mission of her own, and when she comes in through the window, she sees Kate playing some strange game on the tv.

-Kate invites her to stay, and Yelena ends up cuddling with Lucky on the couch while she watches. Eventually she pipes up quietly, asking Kate questions about how the game works- “why do the blocks stay floating? Why don’t the trees fall over? Why don’t the villagers speak?” Etc etc

-Kate hands her a controller at some point, giving Yelena some time to experiment with the buttons before making a new survival world just for them. They play for hours, and Yelena stays the night.

-Yelena gets good at Minecraft terrifyingly fast. Kate doesn’t know how and when she had the time to do so, but it’s also exciting to play with someone with more and more talent and skill.

-Yelena fucking loves fighting monsters. Her favorite mode is survival, and if she can get away with it, she either plays on hard or hardcore. Kate often prefers easy or even peaceful, opting for exploring caves and building intricate houses without having to worry about mobs.

-sometimes they settle for some pvp, and it gets heated. The dogs are barking, Kate and Yelena are both standing and trying to throw each other off while still watching the screen, and some drinks definitely got kicked over.

-Kate’s favorite update was Cliffs and Caves

-Yelena’s favorite update is anything that gives her more monsters, and the new doggies

-it becomes a comfort for Yelena. She gets a switch lite of her own to play whenever there’s downtime on missions, always keeping it hidden from others. She and Kate will sometimes play together when Kate sees she’s online and randomly joins her world, which usually leads to some flirting via chat.

And to answer the actual question that you asked me- yes. Kate sucks ass at archery in Minecraft and Yelena makes fun of her for it mercilessly :)

[silentstyx]

hello!! I saw that you wanted some percy req and I’ve been dying to read more so, may I request percy x reader fluff of reader suprising him with a visit (since they live away) on christmas please?

I'll Be Home For Christmas

tw! neck kisses. percy threatens to shove his tongue down your throat guys. his pretty girl is sorta mean guys!!

guys i hate the colors for the title. but oh well! also i could like only true think of this as hc's idk sorry chat 😖

uh i was eepy when i wrote this and completely strayed but i still like this but yeah, nothing like the req and im super sorry!!! im slow!

ugh logan lerman is so UGH.

okay so like we all know that you can leave for your family during holidays.

you didn't really have anywhere to go so you planned to stay while your boyfriend, percy, went to his mothers house.

you've met his mom already, she loved you, and you've been to his house.

as you were sitting on the bed in the poseidon cabin as he packed, he got out another suitcase in your favorite color!!!

"ya wanna come home with me for christmas, pretty?" he said with a small smile. he was very obviously a *tad* nervy.

you smiled at his stupid nervous attitude, " 'course i will, stupid." you say as you hug him.

he hugs you back, wrapping his arms around the small of your back and putting his face in your neck, mumbling " 'm not stupid..."

ugh sally is so ecstatic to have you over (she loves you so so much guys. more than percy does.)

decorating blue cookies by making snow flakes on them.

decorating the christmas tree blue with them!!

my fav blue fanatics guys!!

idk if you find out how to make blue hot chocolate percy's gonna shove his tongue down your throat.

cuddles as you three watch stupid cheesy christmas movies.

perseus makes you a burr basket with a bunch of cute christmas stuff!!! (candle with like a peppermint scent, gingerbread cookies, blanket, slippers, beanie, stuffie, etc.)

i like lwk think he gets super cold super fast so if its like below 65 degrees he's shivering. SHIVERING.

guys he constantly talks about missing summer.

omg he picks you up (like in the pic) to put the star on the tree !!

sally lets yall sleep in the same room and bed with the exception the door stays open.

when he gets 'cold' while sleeping in his room he cuddles up to you, crushing you, then starts kissing your neck ??

he inches closer to you, more and more weight being pressed onto your shoulder. "perce? baby, you're crushin me." you mumbled to him.

he doesn't respond and he instead gets closer, wrappin his arms 'round your neck, he starts to shiver and pulls more blankets on the both of you. he mumbles into your neck, "ugh, pretty, 'm so freezin' . its like -1000 degrees in here. someone tell persephone to come back or demeter to calm down."

you snicker at his little ramble about being chilly, "i completely agree. we're all furious with hades right now."

he nods before he starts kissing your neck.

"how does this help with you stay warm, my love?" you giggle as you speak.

"keeps ya super warm and relaxed..." he mumbled against your skin before continuing his assault on your neck.

he bought you like 20 things for christmas. all stuff you wanted but didn't tell him.

you're almost certain annabeth and sally listened to what you said and he just asked them what you wanted.

either way you love all your stuff and whatever you gift him he loves.

"but you're my favorite present this year"

anyways, highly recommended to be dating perseus jackson during christmas !!

©️ silentstyx please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work with out my permission.