#so whos more codependent really
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hope you all remember that while there's no dean without sam, there is a sam without dean...but he will always get worse.
#dean cant live without sam but. without dean. sam will commit 20 different felonies and try to become god#so whos more codependent really#tbd.
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This might not happen but...
In your Haunted Prime AU
Would the Primes try to encourage Optimus to adopt Bee and start encouraging him even more more they found out about that Bee was Sub level 50 for who knows how long?
as a little brother certainly! i think Optimus and Bee are closer in age in TF:One than they are in other continuities so their relationship is more fraternal than anything!
but the Primes absolutely encourage anything that involves Optimus having more friends. they're incredibly glad to be able to help and support OP but they definitely think his support network should have some actual living bots and not just ghosts.
most of them are immediately endeared to Bee and the novelty of being able to communicate with someone other than Optimus, even if it has to be through Micronus, makes him a instant favorite.
finding out how isolated Bee had been and for how long only makes them more resolved to have OP spend more time with him. two birds one stone kinda deal.
haunted au
#hey i got an ask#Anonymous#tf one#haunted au#also. lowkey they're hoping bee can be optimus' new best friend.#like. they know nothing can really replace the gap megatron left in optimus' life but they hope time and new friends can at least mend it#they also can tell the empty space at optimus' side aches like a gaping wound sometimes#and while they're aware it won't ever be the same they hope bee's presence can soothe the worst of the pain#and this is a bit more manipulative on their side but they think bee is the perfect bot to fill that gap *because* of his backstory#optimus is wary of leaning too much on others now. too scared to being too clingy too reliant too much to handle.#he's desperate for the easy affection he had with dee but is too worried of asking someone for too much like he did before.#but bee *craves* that clinginess. he wants to feel wanted he wants to feel trusted he wants to be needed the same way he needs others.#he soaks up attention like a sponge and is starved for any sort of affection. he's terrified to be left alone again.#so in a way they're perfectly matched for each other#guy who is afraid of being too clingy and guy who's afraid to be alone#put them together and you get an inseparable duo with a tiny dose of codependency issues <3
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if Crozier had a nickel for every time someone close to him kept a mortal wound secret from him he'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's definitely enough to give him some very specific trauma for the rest of his life
#blankzier#fitzier#The Terror#Francis Crozier#I must say generally I think we are all collectively sleeping on some very interesting parallels between Blanky and Fitzjames......#I'm a lieutgirlie so this really isn't my department but I wanted to start some thoughts percolating within smarter people's brains on this#Also someone PLEASE write a fic where they both survive and he becomes paranoid about their health and safety QwQ#I want it now even though it would surely destroy me.........#Starky's original posts#Starky's text posts#as I said of course I am a lieutgirlie and the parallel of Edward and Crozier both ''losing two friends in one day'' is just diabolical#and one of my favorite things in the world to imagine is Ned becoming absolutely neurotic about Hodge n Jirv in a survival AU#just full on needs to have at least one and preferably both of them in his line of sight at all times or he starts hyperventilating#and I think the idea of Crozier feeling like that would also be very interesting and even more complicated#because he'd be much more successful than Edward (typical) at being self aware and repressing it which only makes it worse naturally lmao#and also because Blanky and Fitzjames definitely seem like the types who would chafe at that sort of thing lol#whereas I think tbqh Hodge and Jirv would be so messed up they'd be only too happy to embrace the codependency <3 yay <3#To Have And Have Not Lieutenant OT3 Version. Find it in ao3 bookstores whenever I manage to actually finish writing it.#christ look at all those tags. OP make a post about something without mentioning the Lieutenants challenge. failed catastrophically.
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is anyone tginkingqbout post canon pd . hi
#specifically i’m so tortured by thoughts of ashe and dakota (< most predictable guy ever).#JUST !!! like .Yes they’re all codependent as fuck but i think that ashe would feel a little left behind bc she missed out on so much -#of pd’s character development and they may treat her like she’s fragile and abt to break and william still can’t look her in the eye#and So i think she’d feel almost like . a divide ??? but also she’d feel that divide from literally everyone because the whole world now-#knows her as the trickster . yknow .?#SO i think that dakota could really relate. at least a little bit . because he felt so separated from will and vyncent after the timeskip-#and sort of felt like a third wheel .. had 2 go through a whole emotional journey there#(and also i think william and vyncent would try to kinda move on ? william would do his planewalker shit and vyncent would spend all his -#time at college ..)#< but i think dakota would still rlly try to cling onto the prime defenders. group of 4 . even if they’re not going on as many missions i-#think he’d not wanna be alone much anymore.. so he would probably cling 2 ashe .#and ashe would cling 2 him . because he’s the only one who treats her mostly like she’s normal . YKNOW. ???#(( NOT THAT WILL AND VYNCENT WOUOD MOVE ON FROM BEING THE GROUP OF 4 !!! I MEAN MOVE ON FROM THE TRSGEDIES OF S2 AND TRY TO GET A LITTLE -#MORE OF THEIR ‘NORMAL’ TEENAGE LIVES BACK !!!!!!
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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Love
#More like fucked up codependency they both accepted because without that they would be so sad#The reasons they both fall for each other are not really the right ones (Olive fell for a fully fake personality but didn't care because al#and for Ambrose.. well it was because of Olive's name lmao#worst that that it' because his name reminded him of the one guy he loved and is now dead)#At the end they never loved each other for who the other person was but for unrelated and trauma reasons)#The final result is still that they love each other :) a lot....#too bad for them <3#my art#oc art#digital art#mlm art#comic#comic art#Olive#Ambrose
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I need to stop falling in love with pairings in shows I literally haven’t fucking watched
#or maybe I should continue . i don’t know . that’s what got me into one piece ages ago .#but like oh my god none of this is remotely canon and everything about it made up and why did y’all do this to me#anyway wow the thangyu toxic yaoi goes crazy fucking hard#never finished season 1 of squid game . but wowwwwwww that’s insane actually#like woah holy shit#desire mixing with adrenaline and drugs and obsession and adoration and codependency#to the point where neither of them can discern any of it#especially since both of them are actually awful people who tears everyone else down and are mostly driven by vindication#but also like. they had nothing else to live for. and now they have each other.#and THEY’RE DOOMED TOO .#like wow you two are both obsessed with each other and are unfathomably awful. please only talk to each other and no one else ever again#(this will also be awful for them)#the mental illness and the addictions in both of them have captured my heart#i really do hope nam-gyu cares about thanos and people on reddit are wrong because that sounds so much more interesting narratively#i LOVEEE YOU DESTRUCTIVE AND SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS FROM GRIEF AND DESPERATION ❤️❤️❤️#i don’t even know them. the show isn’t even about them. my friend thought they were the main characters when i talked about them.#no one in that group chat has seen the show .#they’re crazy. love their timeloop fics#kind of helps that they remind me of two of my ocs#eclipsed.txt#i need them DEAD !!!!!!!!!!#just kidding one of them already is
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Bout to muse about something that is part headcanon part canon events
ㅤ
Tails is finally saved from his bullies by the (currently) small time hero he admires
Tails stalks follows his hero, uses his mechanical knowledge to improve Sonic's plane
While Tails follows Sonic around, even on dangerous journeys, the hedgehog keeps an eye out for the younger fox behind him, keeping him from being in too much danger
Sonic leads by example, demonstrating to Tails how to fight, and Tails runs maintenance on Sonic's plane and teaches him how to read
Soon enough, they become softly inseparable. Even if they can't adventure side by side (although they do more often than not), Sonic keeps contact with Tails whenever he can.
They strengthen each other's weak points. Where Tails lacks in raw strength, Sonic makes up for it with experience and speed. Where Sonic lacks in firepower, Tails has a machine, a gadget, or the technical know-how to take one. Sonic often rushes into danger, fighting without thinking too hard, but Tails' specialty is strategizing or making plans, and he's one of the few who can slow Sonic down enough to make sure he's prepared. And where Sonic supports Tails by being a force of nature, someone who can roll with the punches and execute one of Tails' plans with complete trust or faith, Tails also supports Sonic by understanding what he cannot, by crafting plans when Sonic is at a loss for how to proceed. They have such unwavering faith and trust in each other's abilities now.
Where Sonic is a hero, Tails is his own kind of hero, saving the people only he can save, helping in the ways only he can help. They support each other. They look out for each other. Even if Sonic is a force on his own, or Tails can go on solo adventures, they're more effective when they're together.
And no matter how things change as they grow, the people who come and go, the two of them are a constant. Sonic and Tails, ever at each other's sides.
#sonic the hedgehog#sontails#unbreakable bond#miles tails prower#tails the fox#i just be ramblin#Sorry they just make me emotional and insane#Although really the only thing that's solidly a headcanon and not either canon or my reading of them is that Tails teaches Sonic how to read#Despite them being 'hero and sidekick' I always like to think that as they grew (both up and closer to each other) and as time passed#they maintained this push and pull. They slotted into place as partners that support each other and help where the other falters#And really no matter what happens relationship wise or life wise with the two of them‚ I can only imagine that they still live and fight#together#Tails could get married and Sonic would still crash at his place and Tails would still keep food for him#Sonic could get married and/or have a kid with someone and Tails would move right in with them (if they don't just straight up stay with#Tails)#No matter what happens I can never see them not at each other's sides#And of course I like the idea of Tails starting out a bit more codependent but ultimately someone who works to support Sonic so he can#continue to be needed/wanted and be at his side‚ while Sonic‚ who initially believes that he let Tails into his life and is protecting him‚#grows more secretly codependent. I think Tails is aware of how important Sonic is in his life (even if Tails has interests and wants and#whatnot outside of him)#while Sonic is...the kind of guy who believes that he chooses to keep Tails by his side‚ but whose world would also begin to crumble if#Tails disappeared (and I think Sonic Prime gives me pretty good ammo with that)#Gaaaaaah they just fascinate me. they fascinate me🥺😭💖
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tell us more about vivian's toxic relationship dynamic with kai
UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!

It's a mess, to be honest, where both seemingly have a hard time understanding each other and as a result, bicker endlessly. Whereas Kai's feelings get hurt, though, Vivian's mental health pretty much takes a nose dive following her encounters with him, for no matter how much she tries, it's like nothing she does ever improves their relationship. It also doesn't help his callousness does not make her want to open up, leading her to revert back into her insecure shell and do self destructive things; in other words, he's very bad for her health and is not by any means a 'safe person', which is someone an individual with autism trusts implicitly and feels safe or comfortable around.
Then again, it's confusing, because Vivian would claim she hates Kai, yet a baffling thing she does is cut fruit in his apartment before wordlessly handing him a plate of pineapples, oranges, and kiwi like an Asian mom, and weirdly enough, retreat back into the kitchen to be on her phone or wash the dishes. Now, naturally, you might assume she does this out of the goodness of her own heart or to make sure he gets his Vitamin C, but no, the true reason is to improve the taste of his semen.
Plus, while she no longer initiates conversation with him as much anymore, she would still pester him very frequently through text messages and would, by all appearances, be dead-set on at least beating him in something the way a petulant child might. To that end, she would bug him to go bowling with her, challenge him to, say, a game of poker (if he insinuates she must suck at gambling), or boldly claim she could drink him underneath the table, only to then pathetically lose in true girl failure fashion.
Why, instead of cool while she's with him, Vivian comes across as a very... clumsy, yet plucky young woman brimming with naivete. She flounders and puts on a brave, tough girl act, when really, she's all talk and no bite. That still wouldn't stop her from doing things she deems to be 'manly', however, like holding doors out for others, telling women 'cute ladies first' (in that princely, non-flirtatious way of hers), chasing after someone who dropped their wallet, and assisting an old woman across the street... things I'm sure he has seen her do a couple times. And I'm sure it must make him want to barf, because compared to him, she's much too nice... too stereotypically heroic, it reminds him of some cheesy protagonist from a kid's show.
At the same time, though, she also ends up in very stupid situations, where she'd either find herself stuck in a hole through the wall or unintentionally splattering mayo all over herself, to the point where she's ironically more so a distressed damsel than whatever heroic title she'd enjoy giving herself. Like, there are girls who can definitely kick Kai's ass, but Vivian's so laughably lame, she isn't one of them no matter how much she may claim otherwise.
As if that wasn't enough, she would even cook for him every once in a while after seeing how... incredibly lacking his diet is and would do weird things, such as gaze at him from afar with a pair of binoculars. Drunk Vivian would also be very clingy, that I wouldn't be surprised if people mistook her for his bratty girlfriend or something, just because she does kinda act that way. Heck, I headcanon one time, she even threatens to pee on his knives should he not tuck her in and give her a proper forehead kiss, which is something she still does not recall doing to this day.
But despite the fact Vivian constantly talks back to him and criticizes him, a part of her does deep down like Kai. She just doesn't want to admit it and gets off from being put in her place and being broken down into saying things she normally wouldn't because, well... she has a humiliation fetish and it turns her on whenever a hot, domineering man bullies her into submission; nevertheless, she does have a strange love hate relationship with him people would struggle to wrap their head around. I mean, on one hand, he frustrates her to no end, yet on the other hand, she's basically all, 'Man, he sucks... but I can't not fuck him'.
Still, it's hard to really take her seriously when the moment she accidentally loses Kai in a crowd, she'll peer through the nearest trash can just to find him and if she comes back to a room, only to find nothing but a plush that resembles him, she would be all, 'Oh no, Kai turned into a marketable plush! 😱' Vivian's just... oftentimes very silly, you would not suspect that behind the scenes, she starts self harming because of him or happens to hyperfixate over him to sometimes an unhealthy degree. Truly, thanks to Kai, she's secretly sad almost all the time and does not for one second believes he cares about her... that is, of course, up until he becomes her so called 'boyfriend', but that's a story for another time.
anonymous ( concerning @gloryundimmed )
#anonymous#gloryundimmed#║▌ ⧼ ⸢ ʚɞ ⸣︳h̲e̲a̲d̲c̲a̲n̲o̲n̲s̲. ⧽ ― LET’S PRETEND I AM A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( ABOUT ) ⤹ •• 𝕧𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕒𝕟 𝕚𝕤𝕞𝕤.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( KAI / i never understood desire until i felt your hands around my throat ) ⤹ •• 𝕥𝕒𝕘.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( QUEUED ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪.#[ i truly get the sense vivian thinks about kai more than he thinks about her because he's pretty much one of her special interests now ]#[ but at the same time her feelings towards him evolved from mere hatred/lust to something more complex ]#[ like... it's love for sure but one that is obsessive/tainted because vivian herself pretty much thinks of him as a knife she twists ]#[ inside of herself and does not really feel happy after having sex with him because he kinda worsens her emotional dysregulation and ]#[ makes her hate herself more than she already does. still he's a drug she can't bring herself to quit so she ends up having sex with him ]#[ even though she knows she'll regret it later because she thinks the her who doesn't have ]#[ sex with him is straight up worthless. DUE TO THIS BEING THE CASE vivian might even initiate sex with kai herself or beg him to ]#[ (redact) her whenever they're alone... therein continuing the cycle of self hatred and harmful codependency between them ]#[ regardless thank you for the ask nonnie! i always love having an excuse to yap about vivian and kai's relationship ]
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Au where palamedes and dulcie end up getting married and they start cheating on each other with camilla
#I am a parrot at this point#but there’s something about this particular scenario that just#would palamedes actually do it? mmmmmm I genuinely think it depends! actually!#the knowledge that dulcenia could die at any time except now she’s actually real and near and his wife and he has a responsibility to her#could very much put him under immense pressure yk? and while we’ve seen that he can take a lot#it would be really funny to see how far he can be pushed ARF I LOVE HIM#anyways#I’m just rambling#tlt#and like sure as I said I’m genuinely a parrot considering I’ve made it very known that#I fully enjoy dulcie cheating on pal with cam :3#but when we add him into the mix it becomes so much more hmmmmmm what’s the word#deep? I guess?#cause then we got camilla too who would totally fuck him lmao sorry yeah#[enter usual campaldulcie essays about jealousy friendship codependency and love]
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...
#im bored so im gonna dump random opinions in the tags#i wish people would tag sim stuff so i could block it lol i love how creative people are but sims of characters weird me out for some reaso#like an uncanny valley thing i just do not want to see it and i dont want to have to block the people who do it cause do ur thing yall#that way i didn't have to block blogs that provide other content besides sims stuff lol#also i wish people didn't copy paste all previous tags or at least credit the op i know its an automatic thing when people reblog sometimes#but hey i or the op or the previous blogger worked hard on those rants lol! give credit /j#also hot take maybe but whenever i autoblock anyone who tags all ships and doesn't use anti tags when blogging about ships#like if theyre complaining about meljay or jayvik or timebomb or catvi while shipping a couple i like i block#also maybe its bc i have blocked a lot of antis but i really don't see a lot of people complaining about jayvik/meljay in the wrong tags?#dont care if i agree but if ur gonna be anti use anti tags! and dont use both!#additionally my personal pet peeve is people calling sky skye idk why it just annoys me lol like nope not her! thats a different lady#also my most hot take is that while i wish we got more content in season 2 i love the way jayvik was executed#i love how quick and sudden their breakup was bc i feel like it adds to the pain rather than a slow burn#rather than a drawn out divorce. its the codependency for me. rip off the band-aid sort of thing.#my other hot take about the seasons is that i would have loved an episode of 2 of just zaun and vanders kids growing up#and only them! nothing about piltover or the scientists or caitlyn or mel#just more time to see the sibilings grow up and become who they were how we saw in s1a1#also my favorite flavor of post-canon jayvik is them either a) in a whole other universe away from piltover/zaun#or them in another land away from piltover zaun but same universe#i love the idea that they cant go back and dont want to. i love the sacrifice angle of it.#also hottest take: dom/top jayce sub/bottom vik#sorry to everyone but to me the councilroom scene is him giving bratty bottom who got told no for the first time ever#jayces crash out is his sub/bottom not listening to him and viktors crash out is being told no multiple times#its not even about their size difference its that i just love the idea of jayce caring for vik in all the ways#and viktor giving up control (a hard concept for him) to his most trusted person#thats why i love say my name by acryllic on ao3 it feeds meeee#its also the only time i agree with jayvik twitter
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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!
#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to#that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know#but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look#like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies#dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS#plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song#and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal#again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like#yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more#OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit#love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning#im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY#i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy#but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like#emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness#its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool#addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic#but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys#this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like#the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth#but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd#i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying#about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement
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Go talk about Dazai and Atsushi. I don't care if it's dangerous. I don't care if you will straight up kill me. I WANNA HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS
you are opening up such a dangerous can of worms. unfortunately they take up 98% of my brain space when i think of bsd so i have no many thoughts about them. their relationship is everything to me – genuine trust in one another's abilities while still goofing off and playing around, atsushi's desire to do anything to protect dazai and viewing him as perfect (although this is immediately met with "no he isn't he kinda sucks actually") alongside how to dazai, atsushi is redemption and a promise to keep to a certain friend long gone.


(this is from the Dead Apple light novel) this specifically drives me insane every time. they love each other! okay!!
i would also talk about their relationship in BEAST but i think that's an entire other can of worms to open because it's so complicated but i would also argue there is still genuine care for one another (mostly on dazai's part, since he has the upper hand here because of course he does, he's dazai) which is obvious in how he basically freed atsushi before his suicide and how he wanted atsushi to live in the light. i'm not normal about BEAST though i promise
#richie asks#their relationship intrigues me so much. i want to see more of them together#i really don't think it's insane to say they love each other either#not even in a romantic sense! or a familial sense! they just do#truth be told i've never been a dazai-father-figure truther. i don't think he's anything familial to atsushi honestly. he's just Dazai#and i think that's what makes their relationship so important#because everyone who knows dazai thinks of him in a certain way – he's capable and intelligent#but atsushi is someone that recognizes that dazai is actively trying#and without a doubt he accepts dazai for who he is. considers him good without question#it's undeniable that atsushi is important to dazai and that dazai is important to atsushi. dazai is a savior and atsushi is a promise#realistically this would make for some good codependency if anyone even gaf but unfortunately they are normal abt each other#we can always change that though#I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT. I'M CRAZY AND I'M FREE
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need 2 isolate myself and unfriend everyone #asap
#this guy who is still my friend i guess annoys me and ive been avoiding him and he confronted me and cried yesterday and i felt bad but more#ab the situation than our friendship because he puts himself into places without friends by being judgy and rude and wondering why ppl dont#wanna stick around him idk. i guess we're still cool but he clings onto me and its really annoying bc i want him to stop but i dont want to#be rude and hes just getting on my nerves and ik its bad to be like annoyed w ur friends but i literally just .our energies dont match and#its so exhausting to be near him so i need to do the right thing and tell him the truth and let him decide if he wants to cling on more or#not but i already did that tbh yesterday like. i told him i genuinely dont have the energy to match his and he asked 'when can we go back to#being normal' ?? i just said i felt better and comfortable being more alone and off than w him cant he stop. do i need to break his heart#hes really intelligent and hes able to tell these signs so idk why hes so hellbent on being stuck on me when ive literally said he tires me#cant he leave me alone. i already feel bad enough for feeling this way but last yr i didnt get to have any other friends irl bc he would#just cling on and drag or follow me and i barely had time to spend with anyone else and im stuck in a club i dont care for now bc he kept#pushing. like two or three of then actually idk why he cant just understand i dont want this nor any codependency w him anymore when ivebeen#like telling him already#sorry i have tutoring soon but im exhausted and feel horrible but whatever ill be fine etc i just need him to stop#on a brighter note. idk. im going to disney soon#post#vent#to delete#my lover please come home . only person i can admit my feelings directly to !. not on a vague tumblr post lmfao#/nbh btw obv bc why would i post it if it was#i need to play genshin kaedehara kazuha save me please give me a big fat kiss now
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i hate them with a passion
#this may turn into one of my long ass posts with hundreds of screenshots of quotes from the books#but i dont have the energy for that just now#anyway. this moment makes me wanna throw shit at the walls. their relationship is my favourite thing from the very beginning#but dumas went really went out of his way to make it even more insane in the last book#and dont hit me with a 'aww they have such a big/little brother energy its so cute uwu' please im begging you stop saying that#nothing irks me more than hearing their relationship described as something that innocent. its so much more complex and intense come on#there is pure visceral hate there. jealousy. bile. cruelty. some fucked up form of codependency even? maybe? from d'artagnan's side?#there's nothing more horrible and cruel than the fact that THEY are the only two left alive in the end (not for long but yknow)#they would NEVER be friends if not for athos (and they would never hate each other so much if not for him too)#they hate each other so so much. but remember that d'artagnan starts out being absolutely bedazzled by aramis and looking up to him#his first impression of aramis is just. hearteyes and 'wow i wish that were me'. he doesnt do that even with athos at first.#he grows to adore athos yes but upon first meeting him he doesnt think much of him. unlike with aramis.#and then it changes instantly. does a 180° flip when aramis is a bitch to him.#and it stays that way for the entirety of the trilogy. until this moment. this one short moment when d'artagnan#who. mind you. is not innocent himself and was also manipulating the hell out of porthos and talking shit about aramis behind his back.#but he makes that step. he reaches out. 'i fucking hate you let me help you you dumb evil cunt' and aramis says 'no <3'#you know i have this thing where i am OBSESSED with finding the one moment where a character condemns themselves for good.#the one moment when they figuratively sign the contract for their perdition. that up to that moment they could still be saved somehow.#for rodrigo it is when he tries to kill eboli (in the play). for don giovanni it is when he refuses elvira's plea to change#(NOT when he accepts il commendatore's invite mind you)#and i feel like THIS is that moment for aramis.#the fact that it comes from d'artagnan is so just so fucking agsjssgsgsh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of course he says no.#there is no version of this where he lets himself be helped. he has to say no he will always say no.#but boy oh boy is this making me bang my head against the wall.#the three musketeers#les trois mousquetaires#vicomte de bragelonne#alexandre dumas
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thinking about all the women whose orbits i've had to remove myself from bc they meant too much to me while i meant too little to them
#i don't talk abt this particular feeling much bc i'm not entirely convinced it's a value-neutral sort of incompatibility—#i tend to feel it's an indication of my own fundamental warping‚ that i get greedy and codependent and desperate and can't just be chill#and that it probably has something to do with the fucked-up codependent relationship model i was raised with#but it really is just like. from the high school friendship i had to drop even though i was besotted (flavor undefined) with her#bc i couldn't handle being Just One of Many Hangers-On‚ even though she said she valued and cared abt me#to the metamour i adored (flavor undefined) who supposedly valued and cared abt me too‚ but‚ like‚ not enough#to the ex-moot who remade who i really mournfully decided i couldn't re-follow bc i couldn't stop pedestalizing her#out of all proportion with the actual intimacy of our actual interactions…#idk. just feels like. very much a Recurrent Pattern for me and not a great one!#(and like. obviously the easy read here is that it was unrequited love every time; and who knows‚ maybe it was—#but it's never been obvious to me what the exact flavor of the thing was‚ just that it was sweet and tangy until eventually it stung)#anyway. i would say 'idk what even got me onto this' but actually i know exactly what got me onto this#which was: reading fic where half the pairing was aro#and like. in the fic it worked for them‚ and like‚ in life it's so often been so close to working for me!#but then the black hole of Undefined Sad Yearning inevitably starts to gape#anyway. hashtag nightblogging ig‚ lol#feelingsblogging#past lives#the psyche#(eta thinking abt it more this has also sometimes happened with trans ppl of various non-woman stripes#but in those instances i *have* just mentally filed the dynamic under (failed/abortive) romance+‚ i think#honestly very possible that's where every instance of it belongs and it's just that i don't know how to be in love with women.#like i don't identify as not-attracted-to-women‚ i'm definitely attracted to women—#'sometimes‚' i started to say‚ but like. i'm attracted to women at the same rate i'm attracted to people of other genders‚ really—#but like. societal queerphobia really does a number on you.#like. not that playing the woman's part in the cishet relationship-escalator model appeals or makes any sense for me either#but at least it's‚ idk‚ something to kick off from??#whereas with women it's just like. a ladder into mysterious fog. how do. where go.#insane to me that i'm this old and yet this is still where i am with this. god.)
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