#sorry he's stupid in my mind

[jade-muffins]

Hi I kinda like Birdie Mac

He's so goofy (in my mind anyway)

Random hcs I came up with:

- kinda stupid

- #1 sugar-free soda hater

- thinks you get almond milk by milking almonds (don't ask him how that works he doesn't know)

- Punk rock listener (that or anything that's hyperactive and loud)

- Brother-friend relationship with Little Mac

- snuck (hastily chugged) a beer once and threw up shortly after

- tried creating new phrases/slang like "what the chunk 🙄" in hopes of it catching on, but everyone he's used it around absolutely despised it

(ALSO I'VE BEEN WILD BUSY, BUT I SHOULD FINALLY HAVE THE TIME TOMORROW TO SIT DOWN AND DRAW THE REQUEST I GOT 🙏)

[bajablastflavoredsaxreed]

bari saxthur got lucky in that kayne didn’t write him a part in The Wager so he didn’t have to go to the world’s longest and ugliest rehearsals

[umblrspectrum]

getting in that spooky spirit

[hotchology]

[monofazz]

I think Deceptibee AU fans should consider the hilarious potential of a Starscream and Bee dynamic in this kind of situation—

[10yrratiolover]

some more Ratio headcanons since I can't make a more in depth post just yet!

I think he'd sleep with several pillows, he likes to think it's to help with proper positioning/skeletal & muscle support but he actually just likes having multiple

This one might make less sense since it's a liiittle protection-y but I think he'd prefer smaller rooms over bigger ones, bigger rooms feel more overwhelming since it feels like he sort of has to make use of all the space (idk how to explain it proper I just like being crushed in smaller spaces, I'm like the opposite of claustrophobic)

Big fan of birds I think, besides the owl motifs of his actual character

As a kid he didn't like playing with other kids that much since they 'didn't play right' and it would upset him when things went off his mental script

Used to be really insecure about his appearance as a kid/teen, he never really got over it he just stopped caring since he had bigger issues to deal with

He keeps and finds a use for every single gift he's gotten from one of his students, still uses a #1 Teacher mug he got like 7 years ago

He remembers all his students, regardless of if they ended up passing or failing, some of them come and visit him every once in a while to catch up

He's a plant mom and he takes great care of them

Has several things that are basically only used for one thing since he likes the routine of it (ex. he only drinks at certain type of tea out of this one specific mug, no other mug will do.)

Nobody can convince me he doesn't sleep naked, fancy/expensive pajamas be damned

Never thought hard enough about his sexuality since he had bigger issues, but I think he'd be asexual and either sex positive or neutral on the idea on actually having sex

I think he'd own a cat, she's named Vela after the constellation, she's absolutely spoiled to heaven and back

[wishchip106]

how i look when talking about cherik

forcing everyone to hear my thoughts

NO ONE CAN ESCAPE 😨😨😨

[dukeofthomas]

"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.

[magnuspanoptes]

Hello! I'm relistening to tma and absolutely loving your blog, your posts, observations and audio edits (Me and the devil gave me goosebumps, I'm not kidding. It's perfect). I was wondering what you thought about the finale? You probably talked about it and I simply haven't reached that particular post yet, but I'm wondering if you consider it to be thematically fitting or not

I didn't actually listen to the last season beyon the first couple of episodes. I was busy by then and never got around to it. But I've read the summary and I've seen that in the end they had two choices: Jon becomes the Eye and keeps watch as the world extinguishes around him, taking his friends and, hopefully, the fears with it, or they open a door to another world (killing Jon in the process although I'm not sure why or how, but I trust they must) and drag the fears there, freeing their world and surviving but dooming unseen others. I'd have loved if what took place was the first choice, and I think it would have been thematically fitting, except it would have almost been a good ending, no? The fears (probably) defeated, even though the price is everyone's life. But the second is also very fitting with just, humanity, and the actions of the characters up until that point (the woman in the cave begging the buried to "take her not me, take her not me") the actions of Johna, the need to survive. So I was curious about your thoughts

Apologies for the lenght

thank you 💜 i'm always very happy to hear people like the edits

about the finale, they had this trolley problem-esque scenario where they could either let jon ascend to godhood and speed up the end of the world which would starve all the fears, or take annabelle cane's bargain of reversing the apocalypse by releasing the fears into infinite universes. jon didn't need to die for the second option to work, they were just told to kill jonah and burn down the institute. it's difficult to talk about the thematic relevance of either choice without further context, so i'm going to bring up some s5 plot details. the big one being that the web had orchestrated the events leading up to the apocalypse (they had this planned since MAG 1, it's very obvious on a re-listen), it was in their interest for the eye's ritual to occur, and the eye's ritual is jon, so it was in their interest to have jon marked. they directly interfere with almost all of his s4 marks while elias is in prison. but the broader implication of this was that the web was revealed to be The Narrative. the tapes belonged to them and the tapes are the frame device of the podcast. i think on paper this is a very clever bit of metatexutal story choice, especially since they were aiming for a tragedy, and this has that precise sense of tragic inevitability to it, that this was always going to happen, because they were never going to escape the trappings of the narrative.

so what happens in the finale is that everyone agrees to go with annabelle's offer, except for jon (well he agrees to it and then runs off to do his own thing) he climbs the panopticon in MAG 200 with the intent to kill jonah and replace him as the pupil of the eye, he successfully achieves the first bit and then martin walks in to reveal he told the others to go ahead with their plan before time so jon's prevented from crawling into the eye. they end up releasing the fears. i don't think this is thematically incoherent, part of their thesis was that there's nothing more human than making the decision to doom someone else—hundreds of people, an entire world—for personal salvation. it's why plenty of people chose to become avatars. it's what jonah did. it's what he hear from a lot of statement-givers, lost john's cave is that, yeah, but also MAG 29 cheating death. they didn't fix anything, they just passed it over. so it's an appropriately cynical ending (not entirely. the last words are, "good luck", that was another bit of thesis. that the stacks are against you but you have to Try). so on paper this works. i personally hated it lol because i think 1) the web multiverse reveal comes too late. like way too late. like literally three episodes before the finale. 2) it's comically rushed. one minute jon's telling him, "sorry i have to do this." (and this is while martin's audibly tearing up and having a little breakdown. jon's not even slightly moved by this) but two minutes later it's, "i love you martin cut the tether <3" it's just not effective. 3) the emotional thrust of the finale largely hinged on whether or not you cared about jonmartin and brother (gn) i did not. and 4) the horror of it happens out of sight. we're told those countless universes they doomed are Real but it's just presented as a statistic to us, they're not narratively real the same way their world is, and i can't be horrified by a statistic. and finally 5) i'm a very jon-centric guy in my reading of the podcast, i enjoy the thematic implications of the first choice a lot more because of what they would mean for his character.

the thing about the first five minutes of 200 is that it's jon's personal attempt to escape the grasp of the fears. avatarhood in the podcast is about the transformative nature of trauma and this is the basis of jon's story arc. marking is not this nebulous collect these 14 scars level up into the archive type of thing, marking is about being traumatised, and trauma is about being rendered helpless because of the application of force: through violence inflicted by another person or the environment. so in the first four seasons of the podcast jon has his mind and body continuously violated and is made abjectly helpless, it's in the way elias says he had to "instill in [jon] a powerful and acute fear for their life" and that can only be achieved by making jon experience a total loss of control in each encounter. my favourite bit of podcast writing on this theme is the way a guest for mr spider sets him up for future marks (here and here), so jon's story is a trauma narrative and jon's story is about agency and the lengths he will go to get back some semblance of control. he's a survivor who will later become a perpetrator. s4 is very sharp about this, jon exercising his abilities is about power, it feels good precisely because he gets to be the one in control for once, and not the one being victimised. they continue this in season five when he begins seeking out every avatar who marked him. and this is not framed as a righteous thing because revenge doesn't really bring the catharsis that is desired, doesn't undo the harm that was done. jon giving into his urges here is not a straightforward narrative of ascension, it's actively destructive to him and we see this reach its peak in 200 which is a suicide wish. he went in there to play out a revenge suicide fantasy. he was just told that his entire life has been a set up for the apocalypse, that his body was made an object, a vessel for all that horror and violence by jonah and the web for the completion of their own private goals. choosing to kill the fears is about jon not wanting anyone else to experience his guilt, yes, but it's primarily about the desire to get even. it's very evident in his choice of words, "I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I’ll be leaving these things that you serve trapped and starving in their own private hell.", 160 is jonah's ritual to escape the grasp of fears by dooming the world, 200 is jon's ritual. and it IS a ritual, it seeks to transform the world in a manner that "[would] remake that physical reality into something closer to itself. [fear entity] wants to make this world its own." and the specific fear this serves is the extinction! remaking their world into a lifeless void is how peter lukas describes the extinction, how jon speaks of his intentions to jonah, (read the transcript dialogue in this post before continuing), i suspect that's one of their scrapped plotlines. i don't think this would've been a hopeful ending. he's willingly, lucidly killing an entire world (including his friends) this is an incredible, tragic low for jon. and is the final step that allows him to symbolically take jonah's place in the narrative (x) and crucially. i don't think it would've worked out the way he wanted it to. what i'm imagining here is that like jonah, jon's attempt would've also ultimately proven unsuccessful because that's another thing about the magnus archives universe, you cannot extricate yourself from that cycle of existentially meaningless violence.

and it's pretty easy to see what would've happened here, his attempt to choke the fears dry ends up birthing another fear and reallyyy interesting possibility here of jon himself being the final fear, his "I wonder if they’re even capable of fearing their own ends. I look forward to finding out." makes me lean towards this, because see, as an avatar he's functionally a fear eating vampire who has spent several seasons struggling with his affliction and for his last gambit he hoped to end the forces that have enabled his suffering except it would've led to his final apotheosis into one of them. this essentially gives him the power to subdue the other fears, but it does not bring him the escape he desired. because he's part of that dread power cosmic fear machine now. he's IN CHARGE of it now. this makes a tremendous amount of thematic sense to me (comes at the cost of an entire world) and is an appropriately tragic ending for his character and is also something that would've thwarted the web's role as the master entity as he assumes its place. he finally gets his narrative agency back but in theee worst, most horrifying way possible. compels me.

[johnbly]

[mohntilyet]

i read the wigmaker job recently and there’s an idea that really stuck with me, which may well have been discussed before, but it’s really been itching at me. it came from this exchange near the end –

“i don't want to quit.” / illario sat back. the distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. / “even if it kills you,” illario whispered. / “death is my calling,” lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. “just as yours is to become first talon.”

(the bits before and after this give important context, too, but these specific lines are what gnaw at me)

i. really wonder if this conversation – and the long-standing beliefs held by both of them that it’s indicative of – contributed to giving lucanis to zara.

like, illario coming to terms with the fact that lucanis really just will. not. stop. for ANYTHING. his cousin WILL get himself killed doing this and lucanis won’t have any regrets. he’ll leave illario to go this alone. (no one to follow after anymore.) combined with the envy of knowing that lucanis is and always will be caterina’s favorite, and she will likely pick lucanis to be first talon even tho lucanis does not want this At All…

i wonder if he thought that, well, if lucanis is going to die anyway… maybe it’s better to have it happen sooner, rather than later. why put off the inevitable? especially if this is the one thing that could shift caterina’s gaze to illario and give him what he’s wanted – what he’s earned.

lucanis wouldn’t be happy as first talon anyway (honestly, illario seems to see that what lucanis is NOW isn’t so much ‘happy’ as it is ‘obedient and content to accept the scraps that gives him’), and he’s GOING to get himself killed doing this, anyway… and sure, they COULD wait it out. wait for lucanis to do something foolish enough that he can't just walk away from it. maybe he’ll even last long enough to be made first talon (if caterina can ever bear to loosen her grip from the title) and be miserable for a while. years even, maybe. before he, again, does something he can’t walk away from.

OR. or. or illario could cut through all the pointless waiting and get right to the point. go straight to where this was always going to end up.

(and maybe part of it is an extension of anticipated grief, too – the loss will be agony. if illario controls when and how it happens, he can control his grief. …except he hasn’t accepted the inevitability of lucanis’ death quite as well as he’d thought and when he gets sloshed at the wake, real grief seeps through the cracks)

i dunno. something about both of them viewing lucanis’ death as a foregone conclusion and how illario Might have had that shape his decisions.

YEAH . YEAHHHHH. i do also think the “to reason” exchange is what solidifies it in illario’s mind. lucanis is like 'this has been a productive if tense talk with my cousin. surely he sees sense now.' and illario is like ‘what the fuck. i think he wants to die’ <- okay im exaggerating a bit but i do absolutely see the end of wigmaker’s job as the start of lucanis-illario’s downward spiral. there’s a reason that it’s something lucanis is stuck on during inner demons, and the exchange that you have very nicely broken down is what he hears echoes of, this is where he knows it started to go wrong

probably the worst part is lucanis WOULD have worked himself to death and it takes the series of events in veilguard for lucanis to see other options for his life, and still he ends up being shoehorned into first talon by the end of the quest. i thought his quest would parallel iron bull’s, in that rook shows them that living outside and away from crow influence is possible, and that he is much more than the weapon they turned him into, but it ofc doesn’t go through like that. it’s genuinely a bit heartbreaking that lucanis finally has support and like. FRIENDS. but with the way the game ends he’s pulled back into the crows and to a life that will be about protecting a cousin that the organisation he runs hates, and for as long as caterina lives, unable to say no to her. and meanwhile after lucanis has made connections outside of the crows, illario has absolutely nothing left (prison of his own making i get it but i still want to get his ass out of there. 😭) so the codependency that they used to share is gone as well. maybe lucanis has a foot out the door but i genuinely have no idea how illario goes on after this

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Okay, request again.

Sanegiyuu, with ftm Sanemi modern au

Sanemi's period comes during the night and Giyuu, half asleep, is like crying quietly and asking Sanemi if he's dying. Sanemi's blank, sleepy look is just 'are you fucking kidding me?'

im in class how dare you make me start giggling like an idiot // i love you for this

Typically, Sanemi could track his period relatively well, and most of the times it could follow its calendar, beginning right around the time Sanemi had predicted. But it was a bit early this time and caught Sanemi off guard, and he wasn't prepared when it appeared out of nowhere.

Really, it was more of a surprise to Giyuu, whom was beside him when it decided to occur in its naturally bitch-ass way. So that when Giyuu awakes, shifting uncomfortably in the bed, the first thing he notices is a slowly growing stain of red on Sanemi's pants.

It takes him a moment to place it as blood, his sleepiness rendering his mind quite slow. But when he does, he jolts up in a panic, eyes wide. Blood?? What was happening??

He frantically waves his hands around, lifting Sanemi slightly, wondering what had happened. The blood seems to flow more consistently with the movement, and he struggles to understand. Somewhere in his half-asleep state, he wonders if Sanemi's dying. With that thought in his mind, his anxiety tumbles through him, allowing tears to prick his eyes. Sanemi can't die yet!! He doesn't even know what caused it.

Gently, he shakes Sanemi. He gets no response at first, so he paws urgently on Sanemi's arm, tugging him and trying to jostle him awake. Wearily, Sanemi gives in, blinking and squinting up at Giyuu.

"Nn?"

At least he doesn't seem in pain. Giyuu takes a moment to response, sniffing. "You're- Are you dying?" he manages, bringing a hand down to Sanemi's thigh but drawing it away when he feels the dampness of the clothing. The red on his fingertips makes him panic more. "You're bleeding, Sanemi—"

"Wuh?" Sanemi scrunches his nose, sitting up slowly. Giyuu pushes him back down, shaking his head and telling him not to move too much. "Idiot... I'm not dying," he groans, still unsure what was happening. "What do you mean blee—... oh."

Though he hasn't noticed the blood yet, understanding dawns on him. He bats Giyuu's attempts to keep him down, propping himself up on his elbow and sighing.

"I'm not dying," he repeats.

"But- blood!" Giyuu insists. "You're bleeding so... so much."

Running a tired hand over his face, Sanemi lets out an exasperated breath. "Giyuu. I'm on my period," he explains. "That's not it. This happens every month."

Not quite grasping the first part, Giyuu grows ever the more concerned. "Every month?"

Sanemi rolls his eyes. "You ignorant fuck. I'm on my period," he grumbles. He looks wearily down at himself. "I'll haft'a change the sheets, fuck..."

"Huh?" Giyuu blinks. Then the words register in his panicked-sleepy state, and his tension fades, leaving him sitting pathetically with tear-stained cheeks. "Oh. Oh."

"Mm. You're an idiot," Sanemi says affectionately, reaching up and patting Giyuu. "I'll go clean us up, 'kay? Put the blankets on the floor or something, gotta change the sheets before it gets on the mattress."

"O...okay." Giyuu nods obediently, leaving to wash his hands. He's glad Sanemi isn't dying, at least.

[charleemoon]

do u think will really loved molly??? i think there gotta be some part of him that had a fondness for her (i even think that part of him favoured her over hannibal but i appreciate that my truth may not be everyone else’s truth😭🙏)

i think you could say will loved molly if you think will loved abigail.

he didn't. but he believed he did. more importantly, he wanted to. he loved them for what they stood for, for what they could be to him, for what they could mean about him. he loved molly selfishly, and expendably. he held a fondness for her, because she was perfect for what he wanted to make her into. a good wife, for a good husband. a world where he could be her sweet man, kind and unscarred. she was a walking ideal, a molded lie, with sun-kissed blonde hair and a smile with no crooked teeth

i believe the mask will projected as the man he pretended to be favored molly over hannibal. the cling to normalcy, an appeal to traditional goodness, and the endless guilt that festered in his heart. she was perfect, what he should want. everything he should be. it's why it hurt so much to not want her. it's why it was so easy to come home to hannibal. the man he created that held fondness for molly died when he accepted himself. shed his skin, and allowed himself truth

because will had known for a long time that he was long past a normal life, he was more darkness than goodness, more truth than lie. molly was a last fleeting attempt to try and convince himself he was anything other than himself. he was always, always going to go back to hannibal.

i believe they are equally guilty of using each other. their marriage, inherently, was a sham. two people in grief, running to someone they didn't truly know, and most likely never bothered to. molly must've known who will was, the things he had done. will knew he picked her because she would survive hannibal, she could survive what he knew he was going to do to her. they let themselves enthrall in a fantasy, doomed to fail

i don't believe he loved her, and i don't believe he ever tried to. he respected her, he chose her. to survive the brunt of their hurricane. another piece in the game. another vessel of will's projected goodness, his bargaining with god to prove himself a good man while growing ever closer to the eye of the storm. to hannibal, and the nature of their love. not good or evil. it is natural, and it destroys

[houseshousewife]

Watching House, you just have to accept that sometimes the writers will make him act gross and slightly out of character.

1; because of the times, and 2; likely because the writers have their own weird fetish about it 🙄🙄

[ghostzart]

It’s been way too long since I’ve said something insane about Thorin if you ask me.

[cure-stars]

"but you see......this is where my story ends."

"then, let's start it―― right now! your next story!"

as if you're opening a present every second.

as if i'm searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone. 🎪