#sorry if these all kind of vary because some of them are kinda old ^_^;

[4pp13-ju1c3]

"to heal or not to heal, that is the question.." -sprout probably

[6riix]

Hey…a lil shy bc this is my first time requesting in a while (*´∀`) but just a prompt you can do whatever you want with this

Any character x reader whose ability is basically super luck?? Whatever they want is granted (whatever they want it or not) and it’s like the gods are on their side BUT! When they were younger someone started a cult aboutt reader and they were taken advantage of for most of their life (not sexually btw, just like they were forced to act like an angel or divine being)

If anyone couldn’t tell this is kinda based off of lucky cyan from tbhx !! (￣▽￣), have a good day and remember to eat

HEEEEYYYYLLOOOOOOO BABYYYGUERRLLLLLLLL SEEN THIS IS SUCH A COOL REQ!! Super sorry for taking so long forgive me for that pleaseeee >∆<

I tweaked the ability a teensy weensy bit for the plot so I hope that's okay :)

╰┈➤platonic/romantic , hurt comfort

˙∘˚♡╰┈┈➢edogawa Ranpo x reader

𓂃₊ཐི༑ཋྀ˚Sweet clover ࿐

The usual hum of work in the detective agency varied day to day. On some days there would be a larger amount of scoldings plated out by the agency's strict idealist for none other than the brunette genius who had maybe over a few thousand ideas when it came to getting under the other man's skin. On other days, there would be a few louder screams of terror and pain seeping out from under the door of the operation room.

Each day had a a few differences when it came to the background noise of the office, and today, the crunchy metallic sound of crisps bags and candies , along with the sound of a sweet little hum and scribbling upon the edges of old papers was missing.

It was also today that the agency's world class genius known as Ranpo Edogawa, along with the fortunate gem the other members had nicknamed as ‘lady luck's favourite child’, were out to solve a new case surrounding yet another murder. Well, Ranpo was doing most of the solving part. His partner was mainly there just to assist with other things, such as the transportation and the backup in case things went South, which— they rarely did, but it's never to bad to stay extra prepared, right?

The two detectives arrived at their destination via train, followed up with a taxi because the smarter, glasses bearing one had arbitrarily declared that he was much too tired to walk all the way to where the duo had agreed to meet the clients, at an abandoned school building, overflowing with strange weeds (iykyk) and vines. Maybe it was due to the overabundance of grey clouds, warning many of the oncoming rain or storm, or maybe it was for another reason, but the whole structure gave the half of the duo, who actually knew how the train systems worked, an extremely eerie feel.

The both of them walked into an empty room on the ground floor, likely the counselors office given it's more humble size. In the middle of the room, upon thecold cement floor, devoid of tiles, wood or even carpeting, lay the victim herself. Kurosawa Mikasa, nicknamed Mika according to the parents.

There didn't seem to be too many details about the victim out, as apparently she was quite a bit secretive with everyone around her, but that would have no big deal for the world's greatest detective, who at the moment was causing a scene with a policeman who seemed to be in his late 30's. Thankfully there was no one to see it, other than you, the younger officer who called to both of you over to the spot,and the concerned parents of the victim, who had traced out the girls whereabouts using a tracker installed in her phone used to find it in case it got lost.

It was tragically funny how a simple object used for finding something so mundane had led the parents to the building in which their eldest daughter—no, their eldest daughter's corpse, was laying. If it weren't for that bag containing the phone, along with other items such as a fancy keychain, which was relatively simple but had brilliant craftsmanship, the kind that was too rare to find in an average store. It seemed to be part of a matching pair, depicting a swan with a tiny magnet attached at its forehead, well camaflouged within the metal piece, embroidered with carvings of lotuses and wings.

Soon enough, the arguing had seemed to die down. Most likely because the officer had realized the other three people in the room were staring at him engage in a battle of words with a man who looked no older than fifteen (yet in reality was twenty six.) This was like a blessing to the most fortunate individual in the room, who was on the verge of madness for if the mindless bickering infront of the eyes of a pair of grieving parents had lasted even a second longer, she might as well have joined Mika in the afterlife.

Eventually Ranpo had gotten to solving the case, beginning with his usual procedures of bragging about his greatness, then straight to his solving. He took less than 0.9 seconds to figure out the evidence, and 1.1 to figure out who had caused the victims death. Along with 0.2 second of processing time, it took him 2.2 seconds to figure the whole case out.

"The culprit is...over there." he stated matter of factly, pointing towards the top of the central stairs leading up to the senior classrooms.

It seemed the officer who had a knack for being stubborn and unaccepting was yet again against the detective's judgement, as he had gone over to check if the killer was there. It was likely if the perpetrator had heard him, he would have been dead in seconds. However, thanks to your ability which you had activated within a split second, he didn't. A bullet had soared through the air and landed right next to his diagonally extended frame, digging itself into the concrete floor while leaving cracks resembling thunder all around it.

Your ability could bring the fates to your side and paint a stroke of extreme luck whenever needed. You just had to keep the objective in mind, such as this time, where it was 'make the guy miss every shot till he runs out of bullets.'

Unfortunately, your ability often had a nasty consequence you'd never see coming, which was mainly the reason why you rarely ever used it unless it was needed.

It seemed the murderers attention had by now shifted, from the police to the parents. More specifically, the mother. A bullet was fired, at the perfect angle to hit her eye, yet it had some how changed trajectories and instead went through her hair, which seemed to be extra fluffy at the base, considering how the bullet had whizzed right through it, without even so much as grazing her scalp.

"Thank that one over to the left wall, it must be that lucky ability!" Yelled the older officer over to the mother, who upon realising the situation was stunned and in a daze (drunk dazed mention??) From the sheer shock of having a bullet shot towards you (American students would know/j) .

This grabbed the the killer's attention. If he got rid of the ability user, he could potentially leave everyone in the room defenseless. So, with his focus on the one who was favoured by the gods, using an aim that seemed to be absolutely perfect, he shot a bullet at them, with the intent to kill.

The bullet had never come out, the magazine was empty. With a swift motion, the young cop—who had sneakily moved closer to the shooter by exiting the room through a window and entering through a closer one, disarmed the perpetrator and handcuffed him. Well, that was a relief.

·

The mother just sat there, in disbelief. It seemed as if a miracle had happened just for her, and it was you who caused it. It was as if you were her one and only saviour in these dire times, her light. Her god.

As you and Ranpo were preparing to leave, you felt an arm on your ankle.

'The divine messenger will bless you if you fall to her ankles'!

You looked over, it was the mother. She was at your feet, with tears staining her cheek. She was trembling and frantically trying to get a hold of you.

"Y-you—you are my saviour-! Please, let me be of service to you—I'll do whatever I can!"

Ah.

That brought back too many memories, none of which you wanted to remember.

-

"Dress her in the finest silk, she's the divine messenger after all!"

"Put those pins in her hair, my goodness she looks disgusting, dress her right! "

"Sit her down over there, on that bench! No you fool, the other one!"

Those would be the words which plagued your mornings, bringing upon an unpleasant reminder of who you were seen as to people. The messenger of the gods who could grant wishes to people and increase their luck. Rituals with you as the center, separation from the rest of society, clothing made only to look nice. It was terrible.

Every once in a while, a servant or cultist would enter, to whom you would ask something or complain to, and every time it ended in the same fashion, with them becoming all giddy and formal with you, before eventually running out. At one point, you just stopped talking to them. It was better that way.

People would come to you with their troubles and break down, but you simply couldn't help them. It was better if they just left, that was what you thought would help. If they just sorted out their life and realised that you weren't a miracle granting god, they could at the very least escape the maddening cult you were forced to be the center of. Yet thanks to your ability, your wishes came true and people started leaving, leading to a decline in the cults members and visitors. This resulted in you having to take all the blame, but was it really your fault? After all, you couldn't control your thoughts. But they wouldn't take that as an answer—they wanted their profits and followers; they wanted the community they once had back.

It was excruciating, they would leave you alone in a room for days with nothing to do.

You were going insane.

It was impossible to live like this.

You needed a saving grace.

That was what lead Fukuzawa to find you. He recruited you, and even if you were still having trouble with some things, he let you work as a detective. He had saved you.

He was also the reason you met Ranpo and Yosano, the two people you could confide in and trust. The two who out of many, treated you as an equal first. Eventually, the old cuts began to heal. They left a bruise, which you were careful to step around, which you never discussed after being saved, for it may ruin what you have now. Yet it was this very day that bruise had been pressed upon a bit too much.

–

It seemed you had already left and were on a train. You don't quite remember finding it and boarding, but here you were sitting in the 3rd car, with only 5 commuters, out of which 3 we're asleep. The other two were you and Ranpo it seemed, did he navigate the train system himself? No, that probably wasn't the case. But then how would you two have been riding in the train? Also—what happened to the case-? Did you miss anything-? You don't remember saying goodbye as you usually did to people so what had-

Ah, you remember.

"Y-you—you are my saviour-! Please, let me be of service to you—I'll do whatever I can!"

You didn't want to remember, it was too much. Had you really not changed? Maybe you hadn't- you still were that divine being, even a client could recognize it, what did she think of you, what did you even do, oh god—you were still that thing—why, why didn't you change, why were you such a curse to those who just wanted good luck— if only you hadn't thought of them leaving, why did you do that—it was all on you, it was because of you people lost their source of income, if you had thought of something else they all would have–

"...-chan!"

You looked over, startled. Ranpo was calling out your name.

"Snap out of it, what happened was just a coincidence, you didn't cause it. Stop beating yourself up over it. "

A ray of light in total darkness.

Ranpo was acting as your saving grace—no, he was your saving grace. It was one of the reasons you had confided in him about how you felt about many things, it was a reason you let him see your vulnerabilities (bffr he already figured those out as soon as he saw you)

Somehow you had ended up with your face buried in his shoulder, tears staining his previously clean coat. Not that he complained about it though, you really did need that cry. At one point, his hands has threaded themselves into your now messy hair, providing comfort with his touch upon your scalp. Who knows, maybe you had also received a snack from him to cheer you up, but that stays a secret between you two.

A small reminder of the comfort you could relish in whenever needed, a promise to your trust which he always had.

HOLY SHIT THIS TOOK A SHIT TONNA TIME 😭

my brain hurts from writing this but that's okay it's long I like it and I hope u do too (fanfic rizz) I'm literally dyingjh

Also for some reason I kept imagining reader as kafka from hsr or like hi3 idk I don't play any of those games but dang-

Anyways guys j hope u survived ts drink water pls don't be like me stay hydrated listen to jpop and have a good day bye gang see u soon mwa mwa

@stellas-starry-sillies13

[mydearlybeloathed]

𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: following their fellow hero’s death, the remaining seven have to face their decade long feud at the grave.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: heroes of olympus x fem!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

The last thing any of them wanted was to go to the funeral. It wasn’t that they didn’t care; to say that would be the biggest lie any of them would say. No, they didn’t want to show up because the grief they felt was too great. Y/N shouldn’t have died, not when each of them had unsaid words to say to her.

Yet each demigod sucked up their sadness, dressed as nice as they could, and made their way back to Camp Halfblood, where Y/N was to be honored that evening.

It’d been seven years since the Second Giant War, and five years since any of them had met face to face (the exception was Percy and Annabeth, who'd gotten married just before the seven’s falling out). The great heroes of Olympus were nothing but a campfire tale at this point.

Jason was the first to arrive. Silently he stood at her grave, his throat burning with the floodgate of tears he held back. Years ago, when he’d first arrived at Camp Halfblood with no memory of his old life, he found Y/N sitting here with a book.

He’d learned very quickly that it wasn’t smart to disturb her when she was reading…

Under the shade of the big oak tree sat a girl, all alone save for an open book. While the other campers hung out with their siblings and friends, playing varying games and sports, she seemed perfectly content under her tree.

He wasn’t trying to be a creep, but Jason couldn’t help but watch her from afar. He’d seen her in action during last week's capture the flag game. Y/N had scared the shit out of him when she’d come running at him with a sword; Looking back on it, Jason swore he saw death in her eyes.

So when Jason found the angry warrior girl who’d almost skinned him alive trying to get his team's flag looking so peaceful with her nose in a book, he became curious of her.

Annabeth was quick to warn him against going up to her. After he insisted on getting to know her, she grinned and said, “Fine, it’s your death wish.”

It turned out that she was right. 

“Umm, hi. You’re Y/N, right?” Jason asked when he was standing in front of her. She wasn’t quick to look up from her book, an eyebrow raised as she sized him up.

“Yeah,” she said, unenthused. “And you are?”

“Jason Grace.”

“Ah. Son of Zeus. I’ve heard about you,” she said, her eyes drifting back to her book for a moment. “Is there something you need?”

The boy scratched at his neck, trying to look casual and not terribly awkward. “Not really. I just remembered you from the game last Friday. You almost maimed me.”

A small grin pulled at the girl’s face, but still, she seemed eager for him to leave her alone. “That was you? Heh, sorry. I’m a tad bit competitive.”

He was about to compliment her sword skills when the grin fell from her face and she looked back to her book. “Listen, you seem nice, but I’m kinda busy in case you can’t tell. Please leave me alone. Thanks.”

And that was the end of that conversation. The next time he held a conversation with her was after his quest to free Juno. She was certainly more kind when she wasn’t in the middle of reading, that was for sure.

The more he got to know her, the more he appreciated her love of books. On more than one occasion some random fact from a seemingly irrelevant fantasy novel saved their asses. 

Sighing deeply, Jason rested a blue flower that he’d picked earlier on top of her headstone. He sat down in front of it, finally allowing himself to cry over the loss of his dear friend. 

Next was Percy and Annabeth. 

Hand in hand, they approached the site. It was on the edge of camp, on a hillside that looked over the cabins. It was surrounded by trees, and Y/N’s favorite flowers were planted all around. 

Annabeth stopped at the treeline, her eyes landing on the headstone, and the blond boy kneeling next to it with his head in his hands. She’d told herself she wasn’t going to cry, that she’d cried enough, that crying wouldn’t change the fact that she was gone.

But then, the burning in her throat grew all so worse. Her Hand flew to her mouth, and she choked on a sob. Percy turned, her stationary figure tugging him back. Jason’s head snapped up, his eyes widening upon seeing the two standing there.

He wiped at his face, but his bloodshot eyes gave away that he’d been crying too. The silence was thick, mixing with the surrounding humidity, making the air difficult to breathe. 

It’d been some time since they’d crossed paths. “Hey.”

Percy nodded. “Hey.”

Another sob choked Annabeth as she ducked her chin. “Oh, shut up! We’re awful people.”

Jason and Percy turned to her, shocked by her outburst as tears trailed down her cheeks. “What?”

“Every last one of us,” she cried. “She was the only one who tried to keep everyone friends, who could stand to be the voice of reason! And we all... we all abandoned her just because of a stupid argument!”

Before anyone could respond, the wind picked up, blowing their hair all around. Jason looked up, and his throat went dry at the sight of a giant bronze dragon lowering form the sky.

Leo and Piper appeared on its back, both solemn and silent as the dragon landed and they slid to the ground. Piper locked eyes with him, and she nodded without a word. 

Annabeth just turned around, wiping furiously at her face. Meanwhile, Leo stared gaping at the grave, as though he hadn’t really expected it to be there. “She’s...”

“Yeah,” Jason snapped. “Yeah. She’s gone.”

Piper shot him a nasty glare as Leo recoiled into himself. “Back off.”

“Listen, I’m just--”

“You’re just not. Okay? Shut the hell up.”

The daughter of Athena whirled around and pointed form Piper to Jason, silencing them in an instant. “We are not bringing this here, to her grave.”

No one dared to bite back. Percy rubbed circles into her shoulders, hoping it helped.

Next thing any of them knew, another figure appeared, closely followed by another. Frank and Hazel, walking at least seven feet apart from each other in awkward silence. 

Hazel’s eyes made it to the headstone, and she lost all her breath. Her knees started to give out, and Leo was the only one who thought to run to steady her against him. She buried her head in his shoulder, though not a tear fell. Something about the redness in her eyes said she’d run out of tears.

Annabeth felt a burn of anger rise up wihtin her, and with her hands fisted at her sides, she began again in a broken voice, “We can barely look at each other! We... We left her alone, after all she did for us. She died alone.”

Frank let out a shaky breath, his eyes on the ground. “Annabeth... what were we--”

“What were we supposed to do?” she spat back. Her hands were shaking. “Anything. She was a fucking daughter of Eris. The goddess of strife. She was the only one who tried to get everyone to fucking get along!”

Ten years ago, the eight Heroes of Olympus had gathered at Percy and Annabeth’s wedding. Frank and Hazel were newly separated, Piper and Jason too, and no one was really over how Leo didn’t hurry to come back after Calypso revived him.

It was,

“I bet you loved her attention! Was her head enough to make you forget us?”

“I had died!”

And,

“We were tricked into liking each other by Hera!”

“I loved you, Piper!”

Then,

“Why couldn’t we make it work? Why?”

“You know why!”

And finally,

“Stop fighting at our damn wedding!”

And in the middle of it all, there was Y/N. She stood between everyone, hands raised warily, as she tried to make everyone apologize. It didn’t work. She always blamed herself too; Eris kids only ever make things worse.

Nobody had had a kind word for another of the eight since then. After a while, Y/N stopped reaching out. She stopped trying to get everyone to meet up. She stopped attempting an intervention. She gave up.

And now she’s dead. Killed by a minotaur.

Percy felt it was payback.

In the thick silence, only broken by Annabeth’s heavy breathing and the occasional sniffle, nobody dared to say a word. 

Until... “I...” Piper sighed. “I spoke to her. A week ago. She... she tried to get me to call Jason. I refused.”

She closed her eyes, embarassed and ashamed, but then Jason looked up, eyes wide. “She called me too. Asked me to talk to you.”

Leo began to tap his chest with one hand and wipe his face with the other. “Me too. She called me to call Jason and Frank.”

“She wanted me to call Hazel.”

“And me to call Frank.”

Every one of them had refused. 

Annabeth just stared at Y/N’s grave, Percy mirroring her, their hands finding each others. “She wanted us to get everyone together, at camp... today. Oh, gods.”

Piper’s eyes widened like saucers. “You don’t think she...” She couldn’t finish.

“I don’t know,” said Percy, eyes unfocused. “I don’t know.”

Hazel shook her head frantically. “She wouldn’t. She was killed by a minotaur!”

Another silence took a hold of them and wouldn’t let go. One by one, each of them haunted by what ifs and worries, one by one they came to sit around the headstone.

Not another tear was shed. Hazel took the blue flowers all around and made anxious little flower crowns, passing them around the circle like some sort of machine, until Leo grabbed her hands and made her stop when everyone had a flower crown, a necklace, and a bracelet to don. 

From across their little circle, Jason looked at Piper, finding her eyes already on him. He shivered, and she pursed her lips. He broke the silence first. “It was Hera... I shouldn’t have felt I had a right to tell you how to feel.”

Piper shook her head. “I shouldn’t have assumed we meant nothing to you.”

“Guys,” Leo blurted, plucking petals off his crown. “I... I should have rushed back to ya’ll the moment I could... but I was scared. I didn’t know if ya’ll would want me back.”

Hazel gaped at him. “Why wouldn’t we want you back, Leo?”

“I don’t know.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I was the eighth wheel, you know? I didn’t think I mattered to anyone.”

Percy cracked the stick in his hand. “You mattered the world to us... to Y/N.”

Frank nodded. “She was beside herself when you died. I’d never seen anyone so... so...”

“Hopeless,” Hazel finished, locking eyes with him before she quickly looked away. Something in Frank’s chest squeezed.

Leo’s eyes went somewhere behind them all, as if he’d never even played with the idea that he could mean so much to someone. None of them doubted, in that instant, that that was true, and suddenly they wondered for the first time if Leo was as all right as he appeared.

The sun continued its journey across the sky, now hiding behind the trees to offer the group some shade. 

Out of the shadows, literally, came Nico and consequently, Will. Annabeth was the first to notice their new matching wedding bands, putting a light smile on her face. 

For a moment, all the pair did was stand there, staring at the grave, not saying a word, before Nico tugged on Will’s hand and they were gone nearly as soon as they’d appeared. Everyone pretended not to hear how Nico broke the moment he turned his back.

Some time later, Chiron trotted up the hill, greeted each of them, and lade a laurel wreath on Y/N’s headstone.

Grover and Juniper came up soon after, but they too could only stand to look at the grave for so long before they turned back.

The seven remained, as though intending upon a vigil, in silence. Perhaps to honor her. Perhaps because no one knew what to say. One thing was clear, though, if nothing else: they were done fighting.

“I...” Percy spoke up, sniffling. “We...”

Annabeth took his hand. “Do you guys wanna come for dinner one day?”

She was afraid no one would answer, but almost immediatley Piper leaped at a reply. “Where’s your place?”

“Not far,” said Percy. “Still in Long Island.”

he squeezed Annabeth’s hand, shooting her a teasing look. She only grinned back. “And... well, uhm. We never got to tell any of you... thought it was always too soon--”

“What? What is it?” Leo demanded, on the edge of his grassy seat.

Annabeth and Percy locked eyes in a silent gleeful exchange, before Percy said, “We’re parents.”

Not a jaw was still shut.

“Dude,” Piper gasped. “What--Oh my gods.”

Hazel clapped her hands, a smile to bright that Frank buffered a moment. Leo pointed a thumb at the married couple and said, “Oh, you better bet we’re coming for dinner. Gotta meet tiny Jackson-Chase.”

Laughter bubbled up from the circle, and suddenly, the conversation wasn’t so muddled with bitter memories. Plans were made, silent apologizes given, and hope spread around.

It’d been just five hours since they’d first arrived, yet it felt as if a whole decade was occured. The decade they wasted. 

So as each of them stood (Hazel offered Frank her hand, and he gladly took it, towering over her like he always had. Leo and Jason shook hands, before the latter pulled the former into a rib cracking hug. Annabeth wiped at her face, locking eyes with Piper, and threw herself into her arms.) they tried not to dwell in the simmering past. 

It was the least they could do for Y/N, who believed they could forgive, even in her last days.

Which is why, hidden in the trees, shrouded by a cloud of mist, tears streaked down a young woman’s cheeks. Her lip trembling and her heart sang at the sight. Perhaps a child fo Eris didn’t have to ruin everything.

She wanted to run, to jump out of the trees before it was too late, to hug them at long last, but the grip on her shoulder made every attempt send shooting pains up her spine.

“It seems,” said Y/N’s mother. “You were right about them, my sweet.”

Y/N glared up at Eris, taking in a deep breath to calm herself. “Please. You’ve had your fun. Your hypothesis was wrong.”

The disapointment all over Eris’ face only made Y/N’s impatience grow. “I’m... surprised. I thought nothing could bring them together again.”

“You don’t give them enough credit,” said Y/N, a small smile gracing her face as she turned back to the seven. 

“Or,” said Eris, brows raised. “I didn’t give you enough credit. Certainly, as my favorite daughter I thought for sure your death would only drive them further apart...”

Y/N didn’t like the calculated look on her mother’s face, like Eris was wondering what had gone wrong, and she tugged at her hold on her shoulder despite the pain it brought. “Let me go?

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll be hostile when they see you deceived them?”

The daughter shrugged. “A little bit. But after I explain that you forced me into faking my death for the sake of testing them, I’m sure all their anger will find a much better outlet.”

With a scant smile, Eris ruffled her daughter’s hair. “Good. Now run along. They shouldn't grieve any longer than they have to.”

So she did, sprinting into the clearing without much thinking, not even blinking at the unsheathed weapons that followed her swift appearance.

Breathing heavily, Y/N’s eyes scanned over her friends, still blinking away tears, as one by one their guards fell crashing down. She waved a little. “Hi.”

Hazel broke first, her weapon falling to the grass as she bolted at Y/N, nearly taking them both down with the power behind her hug. The rest didn’t take long to follow, wrapping their arms around you in a stuffy yet welcome group embrace.

“But... how?”

She could only look toward the forest, glaringly so. “Turns out I’m my mother’s disappointment.”

[pinkiemachine]

Hey, It's me again, because my curiosity is killing me, can i get Kon and M'gann's relationship HC's?

Absolutely!! :D

Okay, sorry if I repeat anything I’ve already said in another post—I’ma just go over everything right here right now, heheheheh >:D

So when Kon first met the NTT, he was like a big old puppy dog, eager to have friends, and with no prior training on how to act around girls. So he thinks all the girls are cute at first, but M’gann he finds beautiful. And then he proceeds to open his big mouth and says something a little boy would say, like, “Wow, M’gann! Your skin’s super green!” and proceeds to give her a playful shove (more rough than playful, really), completely oblivious to everything he just did wrong. So, immediately, the other guys take Kon aside and are like, “Dude, heheh, that’s not how we talk to girls on this planet.” On the flip side, Cassie and Stephanie are like, “Oh, this dude is… something else…” and M’gann’s just like, “What did he mean about my skin? Is this how Kryptonians pay compliments? Should I be flattered? I don’t feel flattered. I’m confused.”

From that day on, Kon tries again and again to talk to M’gann the right way, with varying levels of success. Any bit of a crush Cassie may have had on him when they first met is completely gone, because Kon keeps opening his big mouth and dumb words keep falling out. Awkward compliments, uncomfortable jokes, and even some touching and nudging and general things that Kon thinks is just being playful, but soon learns (with a little help from a few punches curtesy of Cassie) that girls have ✨ boundaries ✨ and polite boys keep their hands to themselves. Also, the other guys keep trying to coach him. Sometimes, however, Kon misinterprets his instructions. Anyway, Cassie hates him, Steph’s taken (Tim warns Kon to stay away), and M’gann’s the only one who is still willing to give Kon a chance. She understands what it’s like to not understand the culture around her, and she sees that Kon is genuinely trying to be more polite and be a good friend, and… well, come on, have you seen how many muscles the guy has?

M’gann grew up watching old Earth sitcoms—courtesy of Mars piggybacking off of Earth’s television waves (or whatever the science is)—so she kind of sees Kon as like the perfect love interest stereotype from those old sitcoms. Mostly. His actions and big mouth kind of… ruin the picture of him she had in her head. But then he looks at her this certain way with these big puppy dog eyes and… her heart just gets all tangled up. She can get kinda shy around him, and has this nervous snort of a laugh that she desperately tries to hide. But Kon thinks it’s cute.

So, to summarise the beginning of their relationship… you ever see a little girl and a little boy playing together? It’s something like that. Him showing her bugs or other gross things he’s caught/found and (gently) roughhousing with her—her telling him a hundred things about her day, about what she’s learned about Earth, or making little things for him. Little picture collages, or special charms they have on Mars, and stuff like that. But, truth be told, they’re both still very young and neither of them have dated before, so they (especially Conner) kind of both approach it like a dog chasing a car. What’s he gonna do with it once he catches it? He has no idea. Actually, Kon proposes to M’gann after only a few months of knowing her, unaware of the fact that it’s not even legal for them to do that in the United States, or that it’s not the custom for Martians to get married that young (unless it’s an arranged marriage, but then that’s getting into a specific cultural subset on Mars that M’gann’s family isn’t a part of, and yada yada yada…) Anyway, it’s a whole thing, and obviously everyone else has to go to Kon and say, “Whoa, slow down there.” Then, after a few more things about relationships get explained to Kon, the next step in their relationship begins.

Over the course of the NTT show, we learn more and more about M’gann until it’s eventually revealed that she hasn’t been completely forthcoming about something in particular. She is a white Martian, not a green Martian, as she’s led everyone to believe. The first person she tells this to is Kon, of course, expecting him to keep it a secret. You see, on Mars, a few decades back, there was this war. There were two main sides in it—two main countries and their allies—and when Martians talk about it, they say it was green Martians vs white Martians. Some age-old dispute over a lot of different things like land, resources, and crimes against… well, not humanity, but you get the idea. Martian-kind. Anyway, both sides hated each other pretty thoroughly, and in the end, the green Martians won, the white Martians were allowed to keep their territory, but their leaders were replaced with Martians the greens believed they could trust, and a lot of other punishments befell them too. Now, all of this was decades ago now, but hate still runs deep. Whites are often discriminated against, especially in the green territories, and that’s where M’gann is from. Her parents were some of the few who hated all the discourse and wanted to prove that they could leave all the fighting behind them and be kind to one another. The best way to prove this, they believed, was to be a bi-racial couple. (She was green, he was white.) This did do some good among their friends… but it made life a little harder in general, especially for their daughter, M’gann. She was one of the only whites in her school (or the only white, depending on the year), she was often picked on, bullied, got called slurs, was hurt by some people physically, she was excluded from participating in school events or going over to peoples’ houses or even entering certain establishments like her favourite ice cream shop after it changed owners. She felt so unwanted her whole life for no reason on her part other than she looked a certain way, and even though all she wanted to do was play with her friends and be a well-behaved, honest, likeable young lady, people only ever looked at her with disgust. She tried so hard to prove she wasn’t like the white Martians who started the war, but everyone had already made up their minds.

Then, something happened… something truly awful. One night, M’gann was at home while her parents went out for a bit. She was about thirteen in Earth years at the time. They said they would be back in a few minutes—just needed to grab something, and they wanted an excuse to get out of the house and chat some. Nothing they hadn’t done a dozen times. But that night, word had only just got out that in another city, far away, a white Martian was caught for the murder of an important green Martian senator, and all hell broke loose. In M’gann’s hometown specifically, her family became their first target, and her parents had simply picked the wrong night to be out in public.

J’onn J’onzz—M’gann’s uncle (her mother’s brother)—went to the house as soon as he heard the news, because he knew exactly what was going to happen. (He served in the military for eleven Earth Years and had seen this sort of thing before.) But when he got to the house and only found M’gann, he told her to pack her things—only the most essential things—and then get into his car*, get low, and stay hidden. He drove them to a quiet place and then got out and started running, calling out his sister’s name. M’gann waited in the car, on the floor, clutching her bag, and listening to the sounds of explosions off in the distance, and people shouting. It was incoherent at first—a disorganised crowd of angry rioters—but then she could make out words. They had started chanting “death to the ghosts.” (Or, at least, this is the literal translation of what they were chanting in Martian. “Ghosts” or “corpses” or even “the undead” is a loose translation of a derogatory nickname the greens invented for the whites.) M’gann was so afraid that someone would walk by the car and they would look in at the glass and see her there, and then she tried her very hardest not to imagine what they might try to do to her after that. Thankfully, J’onn returned and they started to speed away. He told her to keep her head down until he was sure it was safe. They escaped the city without further incident, but M’gann never saw her parents again.

*note: of course the Martians don’t have cars exactly like we know them, but for all intents and purposes, it’s basically a car.

After that, a lot of things happened, mainly things involving J’onn’s story and how he and M’gann wound up getting to Earth in the first place, but it’s another story altogether. Suffice it to say, it would be easier living on Earth at that very moment, than to force M’gann into hiding on Mars. And so they did their best to make the most of their new home on Earth, and M’gann soon discovered the NTT and for the first time in her life, she was met with open arms by more than just one odd person who took pity on her. She found friends who genuinely liked her, and even better, she met Conner. But all the while, she still felt nervous. She wanted to fit in with Earth society so badly—she was afraid that if she was even the slightest bit too annoying or inept or said the wrong thing or accidentally made a mean or offensive comment, that she would be turned out of the friend group without a second thought, and she certainly never told anyone about her real skin colour just out of lingering shame. When she told Kon all of this, it was in upmost seriousness and confidentiality. She knew that couples weren’t supposed to have secrets, so she decided she would trust Kon, and to his credit he did keep his mouth shut for once… with the NTT and the JLA, that is.

The longer they had been on Earth, however, the more M’gann had begun to let her walls down (obviously with Conner most of all, heheh) and as these walls came down, she began to realise a few things about herself. For example: she didn’t know much about herself at all. Every hobby she had ever taken an interest in, she took interest in it because she had a friend back home who liked it and she desperately wanted to keep that friend. When other adults said she dressed too immodestly, or too much “like a white” she changed her clothes, or when they said she was too loud or a troublemaker or a bad influence, she sat still, tried to smile, didn’t raise her voice, and tried to be everything they could have ever possibly wanted her to be. But now, surrounded by a group of friends who just wanted her to be herself, she had no idea how to act. She had no idea what she liked to do, or what kinds of jokes she liked to tell, or anything else. She had no idea who she was at all. In stark contrast, Kon (while he didn’t exactly “know himself” 100%) was able to decide on things very easily, and was sure about who he was on a base level. When they talked about all of this, he helped her through it, and bit by bit helped her to discover what things she did like. Turns out, her favourite colour is purple. She had no idea. And she loved to bake. Pies, cakes, stroodles, kurmmflats, hobplutts, yul’grons and everything in-between. She loved to experiment with the recipes too, and invent her own. Conner loved seeing her happy like that, and self assured about herself and her talents. She seemed to always have this nervous, awkward energy that made her appear like a wilting wallflower, but when she smiled—confidently, radiantly smiled—it was like she’d turned into the biggest, brightest sunflower.

Now, this post is long enough already, so let me know if you want to hear more of their relationship during and after the reveal of Kon’s true allegiances, and more of the faults and things :)

part 2 👇

[suzukiblu]

Ik you already have an angsty wip serie(?) with Kon and Jon, but I was wondering if besides that, you have more. Like- one that involves kinda the whole Kent or El family and a very angsty, 'Holy shit I feel like I'm unlovable and worthless' 'but truly isn't Kon, bc like- idk like yeah that but like they are all Kon & Jon angst and family angst as well but won't leave me in shambles at the end because everything is resolved and- yeah I'm rambling, sorry, but yeah!

. . . . . . so ngl "Kon feels like shit about himself and people treat him right" is not an uncommon theme in my WIPs, haha, and the Kents/Els are ABSOLUTELY not exempt from that role. There are also technically at least a few answers to this question that are MAJOR spoilers for the involved WIPs ( and another that is a WIP I'm debating scrapping and rewriting, tbh ), but excluding those two ( and also "Kon and Jon and brother issues", since I assume that's the one you were talking about in your ask ), the most-like-that WIPs I think I've got are . . . gonna require a cut, actually, so you can find the list of relevant WIPs and their elevator pitches down behind that, hahaha.

fyi, some of these are Kon's POV and some of them are outsider POV and they all occur at various times in his timeline and in various alternate timelines/AUs, and also contain varying levels of angst/feelings of worthlessness and varying levels of Kents/Els; kinda just depends!

"alpha Kon and his supermom" has a bit of this vibe with a mind-controlled-into-feral-drop!Kon struggling to work through some complicated thought processes he is not in any state to be working through while omega!Superwoman is just trying to take care of her inexplicably-feral cisswap clone who she has complicated maternal feelings about, featuring Kara and Lois in supporting roles and mention of Jon. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones (yes, including the supervillain one)" is largely Match-centric but Kon is having a mostly-quiet version of this crisis in the background while Match is having a more internalized-dehumanization-focused one in the foreground. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"you found me when no one else was looking" is an actually complete fic that is mostly Clark and Conner from YJA figuring out that Kryptonians do not experience emotional attachment the same way humans do and the resulting trauma they both have/are having about it, but also includes Jonathan and Martha in supporting roles ( there's technically also an in-progress sequel/side story with Match kicking around in WIP-form on my blog, but like, different vibe there and the original fic is a complete story without it ). (( AO3 ))

"Jon and Martha, professional soulparents" has a brand-new "Superman" feeling kind of shitty/worthless about himself while simultaneously finding out that he has soulparents and the process of him getting gently but FIRMLY adopted by a very determined pair of small-town farmers while he is mostly just waiting for the other shoe to drop and them to realize everything that's wrong with him. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"Knockout gets knocked up" is about the consequences of Hawaii-era Superboy having slept with Knockout during the "Losin' It" arc and accidentally getting her pregnant, and him then becoming a teen dad while about five minutes old himself and feeling like a fuck-up and a burden who has zero concept of why anyone might think HE needed any parenting. Currently just includes Clark; will eventually include Martha and Jonathan. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"Kon is too trans for this pregnancy shit" starts out with angsty closeted!Kon freaking out about what the Kents are gonna think of him and several of his life choices and life NON-choices. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"Kon wants scented" is an omegaverse AU that involves stray!Kon and his total lack of self-worth and history of sexual abuse being VERY convinced that he isn't a pup and isn't a kid and doesn't NEED a pack, and feral!Clark having Opinions(tm) about that. And also impending bonus angst from [ INSERT SPOILER HERE ]. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"Krypton lives and Kara did not sign up for this" is an AU where intergalactic diplomat Kal-El accidentally got cloned a couple times and then low-key clonenapped said clones back to Krypton and has left them in his older cousin's custody while he's off fighting with the council about letting the House of El keep them and General Kara Zor-El is just NOT equipped for fostering a pair of teenage metaweapons who don't even like each OTHER, much less her or Kal or literally anyone on Krypton whatsoever. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"the Last Son of Krypton meets Hypertime Kon" has a Superman from an alternate reality meeting comics!Kon when the other falls out of Hypertime after the Black Zero arc and immediately getting the wrong idea about exactly what Kon is to HIS Superman. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"omega!Clark and hungry!Kon", AKA the omegaverse AU where omega!Clark just wants to nurse his pups and Kon doesn't realize he counts. Loose canon-smash between the comics and the animated Reign of the Supermen movie; focuses mostly on Clark's relationship with Kon but also includes some of the dynamics between Kon and 10yo!Jon and Lois. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

"the one where Kon's soulmark isn't fake" is about early-era Superboy's fake soulmark that he belatedly realized was just a copy of Superman's and, I'm sure TOTALLY unrelatedly, Lois Lane and Clark Kent's extreme concern as to why their unmet soulkid has stopped sending anything through their soulmark empathy bond. Totally unrelated. Definitely. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

[satoshihiwatari]

this is sooooo ridiculously long sorry but I'm having trouble sorting my thoughts/feelings about this into a coherent shape but

Obviously in society - especially but not exclusively for women - being seen as attractive is like, how you are given worth in society. Not just by people who just want to sleep with you, although they are the most annoying in terms of not seeing your worth, but also by just anyone. How people treat you when you are pretty is SOOOOO different from when you are ugly. The same traits that you were mocked for will be interpreted favourably when you are pretty. When I was ugly as a teenager I was always Weird (derogatory) and then in my early 20s when I grew into my face, the same things were now Quirky instead. (but still kinda weird because I was never that good at being normal fdkjgd)

And it's one thing to realise for yourself that unattractivess in any of its forms was never a bad thing, but it's another to have that realisation and then still see the world continuing on in the same old pattern and basing people's worth off how pretty their face is and how thin their body is. Like even though I know that you shouldn't have to focus yourself around trying to appear attractive, the fact is that the way you will be treated is still based on that.

And how much more does this go for things like whiteness, or like, being visually able-bodied, etc. I feel it would be kind of like mansplaining if I went to start talking about those things when I've only ever experienced the positive side of those but at the same time, once you notice it you can see how the general attitude in society is like, the more you fit into those things, the more leeway you are given for every other trait.

And in a way it's easier to reconcile that attitude in traits that are unchangeable, but when it's something that varies in myself - prettiness, thinness - it's hard knowing this is the only way to be treated better, vs not wanting to contribute to the same attitude by aiming for it. But still when I gain weight there is a part of me that panics, like, ok now nobody is going to care about me anymore because of this, but it's not too difficult to quell that part nowadays.

However it's a much harder thing to give up on tying your value to prettiness/attractiveness because that's SO ingrained. Sorry if this sounds like it's coming from nowhere but the part in Fleabag (S1) that really got me is when she's talking to that guy in her shop and she breaks down and says - I'm paraphrasing - "The way my body is now is all I have and when it gets old and unfuckable I might as well just kill it" and also the part in Brand New City by Mitski that's like, "If I gave up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive" it's like, yeah. that is how it is

Anyway in 2022 when I shaved my head, I did that for several complicated reasons, some of which I tell people about and some of which I don't, but one of them was an attempt to give up on this need to look pretty/feminine in order for people to see your value. And I went into it knowing that I would probably not be treated as well afterwards, but honestly I was pleasantly surprised by how people still treated me similarly (a lot of this is probably due to living in London, where Differentness is itself normal).

Anyway I'm so glad I did that but even so I resent that the two choices for your appearance are between like, you can either give in and make yourself attractive to others but not look like yourself, or you can forgo that effort but then everything you say and do will be interpreted less favourably because of it.

So I have really weird mixed feelings whenever someone compliments my body, because one one hand I know that having a curvy figure will work well for me in terms of not being seen as worthless, but at the same time why must that be necessary. But if I'm being real the reason I don't like it is mostly gender/sexuality related as well.

I know for a lot of people their gender and sexuality are unrelated and there was a big movement in the late 00s to combat that, since people used to say/think that being a gay man made you 'basically a woman' and being a lesbian was manly. And I think a lot of that is realted to early 00s transphobia how it wasn't seen as a real and respectable option but rather as a joke, like trans women and gay men were conflated and seen as the same thing. And because it wasn't taken seriously as a legitimate option, people were much more open about calling me a man or telling me I didn't count as a girl (this happened a LOT) which was mostly just meant to insult me - if not being a girl wasn't an actual option, then this was just supposed to be me being a failure at something - but was also really coming from sexism as well, from this idea that what a man should be and what a woman should be was dictated, and if any girl liked nerdy stuff or whatever that was like, unconsciously seen as trying to be like a boy. which sounds so ridiculous now 20 years later but that was the 00s for you.

I think that also is part of where the whole 'not like other girls' thing came in - only a small part, as the majority of this was due to recognising your own fully 3D interiority but how the general worldview of women was that they were shallow or lacked interiority. General worldview and not each individual person's worldview, there is a difference, but certainly most people can subconciously feel what the worldview is.

anyway my point about gender and sexuality being conflated in the 00s was that there was a big push against this in the late 00s and early 10s to the point where it's seen as homophobic/transphobic to suggest they are linked, and with good reason, but honestly I think mine are related? I have always had a weird relationship to my body - not bad - but even before puberty I was dreading growing boobs and having wider hips, and this is so, so awful to say, I know, but at the time there was no such thing as top surgery and so the ONLY solution I ever saw for this was when someone had breast cancer and got a double mascectomy, and so even from age 10 or whatever I thought, well there is still hope, one day I could get breast cancer and so get them removed then. And to be so clear I was NOT hoping for cancer but there was not a single other path that I could see that went from growing boobs to having them removed.

And like, since that obviously was not a legitimate option, and even now top surgery is possible I just would not want to deal with the backlash since I live on fuckin Transphobia Island, and also I do not think that someone who doesn't experience dysphoria could understand that and so most of my friends would probably like, even if they were outwardly supportive would probably just quietly think of me as weird and making a big deal out of nothing. Also it's a moot point anyway because I cannot afford it private and the NHS treatment takes many many years and you have to jump through hoops and whatever. And the way things are heading they will probably stop providing it sooner or later.

ANYWAY again my point is that I know that the way my body is seen - curvy woman - will always be seen sexually, even by people who are not attracted to women, because again of that subconcious understanding of the way women are seen in society. And being ace, I hate that and do not want to be seen sexually even though I know that's the only way a lot of people will see any value in my other traits. I think non-aces also hate being sexualised by society/strangers but I hate it in any context, even with people I know already see me as as person.

So for me it's like, I do not want to be seen sexually but it's inevitable because of the shape I happened to be born to, and literally have not done ANYTHING to try and enhance it, so complimenting my body isn't even complimenting any effort I have put in lol. Weight loss is so fake. I spent so long kicking and screaming and trying to control my weight and the outcome was barely any different from when I did nothing.

however I am very aware still that even if I have my own attitude towards having to look good/attractive in order to have worth in other people's eyes, I know that almost nobody else is going to see it that way, and even the people who do are not going to see me as I am, because I have the choice of curvy woman or ugly woman, and will never be seen as just a person. And that part specifically I think is not gender dysphoria but just plain sexism.

anyway all this is to say ig I don't know how to reconcile the process of trying to opt out of the association of attractiveness with worth, vs retaining some worth but selling my own image out. idk idk.

[seraphimstruggles]

ok, this feels like it needs to be the next post on this account before people start getting REALLY confused LOL

so, because i mentioned before that i have furry designs of everyone (even moreso than im planning to showcase here, the others are just gonna have to come w time i think, this shit is scary to admit LMAO) but they might be hard to identify without proper explanation. oh, and cw for nudity, i guess, i had to draw a picture of gabs w/o clothes because i needed a proper reference for his markings/gold stripes.

so we're starting w the blue bitch itself. uhh, let's establish this rq- i have nicknames for everyone. *everyone.* i usually just call it "vee" or "vibri." idk how these accumulated. sometimes, i'll use other pronouns as slang for it, usually being "he" or "she." i don't see it as either male nor female, these are just because i like the sound of these words LOL.

here's what the bastard looks like:

what a beast, huh? well here's some more examples:

as you can see, i get pretty varied w my art and depictions of these guys. the top one is the newest sketch, but the other two are pretty good so i included them anyway :3 ive started making it's wings more frilled/feather-like, but they are still the same material. i just like the way it looks.

the next one we'll be talking about is the evil red thing- again, w the nicknames, we usually just call her "two," and again w the pronoun thing. i like she/her-ing it, though.

here's a quick, thumbnail example:

and a couple more, older examples:

i'm not sure what animal it is!! i think either a bunny or a jerboa. some kind of prey animal, but not exactly meek. rabbits aren't pushovers, if you didn't know, they're very fierce little things. these are all kinda old, seeing as i don't draw her as often as. well.

you guys are gonna have to get used to me calling him nicknames as well, because it's just funny to call a grown man cute nicknames. so. gabby.

he may be hard to initially identify, obviously, but if you're confused, i did plan for that!

i like drawing the armor, but i'm usually drawing more casual situations, and i uh. don't feel like drawing allat. sorry LMAO. plus i like his face markings, i think they're pretty!!

OH and the halo is dynamic. it changes depending on mood, and how he's presenting (w the more "classic" pointy look being more for formal occasions.) i strayed a lot from canon w his design, in that i typically have his face uncovered and put him in pretty dresses, as opposed to the armor. he's fun for me to draw, so it'll be mostly him and vibri that you'll be seeing ;w;

here's some other examples of the big man himself (oh, and the last one, uh, naked jumpscare, its a ref for his patterns/stripes. i give him a lot of those.) (the one w the safe is in reference to a joke me and my friend have going on fffucking roblox, where we steal from people, and generally cause problems, hence the odd outfit for vibri. its the most recent armor reference i have :shinijchair:)

even this pattern ref is a little outdated, because i've started making his tail color-shift as well!! its more of a feather-fan now.

i have designs for a bunch of other characters as well, but i think these three are a good starting place ^^; so yeah, this should help w any amount of confusion anyone has!! also, if this is ur first post seeing me, hi!! i promise im normal LOL

[ciaossu-imagines]

So I rarely see ocs (except for my own) that are Canadian but with canon characters 🤔 … I’ve seen a few! But have you ever noticed when there are Canadians represented in any media, almost always it’s specifically French-Canadians? Which I mean good for the French Canadians/Quebecois for getting represented but I do wonder why foreign writers always choose them to represent Canada. Perhaps that’s the most Canadian they can imagine a Canadian 😆 anyway I just wanted to talk about this observation I’ve had lol

As for me!! I like to place my ocs in whatever country fits the setting if that makes sense? But if I can! In order to heal my inner child, who would always make their ocs white because that’s what they were taught was the only appealing kind of character, I like to make my OC Asian (context for anyone else reading this I am Asian I promise I’m not being weird by specifically choosing Asians 😭!)! It varies what kinda Asian depending on the story but lately I’ve been leaning towards South East Asian to show the representation I so desperately craved as a kid /lh! And if I can!! I make them Asian Canadian! Since that’s a whole other ballpark in terms of representation that I would love to see more! (I say this while only having like 2 lol. Hey! In my defense a lot of my stories or fandoms take place in fantasy settings!).

Last thing I’ll mention is one time I once read a Naruto fanfic where they were Canadian specifically living in Ottawa that was an absolutely brilliant read. More people should write stories with characters from Canada or with Canadian characters.

Thank you so, so much for answering my question and sending this in. This was so fascinating to read and I really enjoyed your thoughts. It’s really cool that you’ve seen a few canon characters that are Canadian. I get what you mean though – Canadians are often represented either in the French Canadian/Quebecois stereotypes and such or they’re represented, I’ve found, in that overly friendly, aw shucks, good old boy, super peaceful and kind of hippie-ish stereotype. I mean, I can’t say that particular stereotype doesn’t fit any Canadians, but it definitely doesn’t fit all of them! I’d like some of these foreign writers to just spend a full weekend in Toronto or Montreal and then see if they still agree with those representations, haha 😂

You know I’m such a fan of your OCs so it’s interesting to hear how you go about making them in regards to that. I definitely get your reasoning behind placing them in the country that does fit the setting. As you point out, too, a lot of your stories do take place in fantasy settings, where race, country of origin, and ethnicity isn’t always the same as the world we live in. I do love, though, that you try, when you can, to give yourself the representation that you wanted growing up. I’m so sorry that you, and anyone else, was taught that white or white passing OCs were the ‘better’ ones, though I can definitely understand why you would have internalized that. Having been in fandom as long as I have been, I can’t argue with that having been the trend and primary thing we were all seeing at some point. It was shocking, back in my early fandom days, to see OCs who were anything other than white, thin, heteronormative and female. I think that, over the many, many years I’ve actively been part of fandoms, that representation among OCs has definitely become more accepted and more varied. It's one of the newer fandom trends that I’m all fucking in on.

Also, I know totally want to read that Naruto fanfic. I’m going to have to google search the hell out of the keywords to find it because it’s something my life will now be incomplete without.

[theseventhoffrostfall]

relative to your javelin/plumbata post, Tod Todeschi or some other Pollack last name does do a lot of experimental archaeology type videos where he tests stuff like that. Results vary but I respect he will actually try stuff out.

But I am autistically into old smelting and bronze/iron age stuff as well and I think there's a lot of potential on how many things we take for granted now as commonplace used to be extremely limited. Certain foundries and smelters, even if privately owned, would be borderline national secrets/treasures because they could consistently produce good quality metals or knew HOW to build them right. On par with monks sneaking silkworms out of china. We have accounts of Vikings making it as far as Afghanistan specifically to find burial mounds for Indo Persian wootz blades.

The Hittites were pretty good at early Ironworking for example and well-made bronze is probably better than iron except bronze is an alloy and iron can be refined much easier. I know the French weirdly kept refining brass and ARCO brass/other types in the 19th century and while not the same strength as steel the way the US and Brits innovated, French Brass was stronger than anyone else's.

Fuck I mean IIRC the Chinese spent centuries in West/Central asia like the Stans trying to learn how to breed better warhorses because old horses used to be a lot smaller and things like chariots were how you utilized horses in war instead of individually.

There's so much cool shit you can do just around the idea of foundries and smelting and it's not even been 200 years since we really figured out steel and even the 1990s saw a huge increase along with aluminum technology. Even the first Conan movie kinda touched on this with how rare materials were relatively speaking. I'd love to see a period or fantasy related story that deals with a lot of intrigue and logistical concerns like that. A warlord fighting a grueling campaign that makes no sense tactically but it's because he wants to capture a series of foundries that utilize some mythical pass high in the mountains for their bellows, or specifically daming part of a river to create a faster pressure current for a downward falling water wheel for the actual forging.

Prior to modern technologies, making steel was a literal pain in the ass and insanely wasteful. Closest analogy I can think of is raising an entire cow from birth, killing it, and only taking 1 cut of meat from the carcass and leaving the rest. You didnt "make" steel, you made this disgusting lump of iron and carbon as homogeneous as you could and prayed to God that at the center was a nice good hunk of steel you could then forge into an ingot.

Also FWIW it's less that the javelins were designed to break and bend IMO and simply that its a possibility especially in an actual battle. Oakeshott talks about Celtic leaf bladed swords and the front ranks retiring to the rear to bend kinks out of them. I'd say it's less about iron vs steel and more about heat treat and fucking NO ONE figured out actual mathematical heat treat shit until very recently. Toledo made swords (also known as a specific pattern of blade kind of like a thrusting claymore) are famous for having very rigid blades at their base but very flexible and springy at the tips. In the era where heat treat was more like a cooking recipe or an AdMech ritual than hard scientific fact, being able to CONSISTENTLY produce good heat treated blades was a huge sign of quality. Sorry for the autism but I love metallurgical history.

Nah, you're good, big dog. Most of the concepts are familiar to me, but they're good for bringing to the general discussion table without, you know, me having to type all of that out.

But yeah, the main crux of my argument is based on a few things you mentioned. You, as far as I understand it, can't just go off and harden the average stuff you'd have gotten out of a mine in the Roman empire, even after being smelted. You need to tap the famous and rare(esque) deposits of The Good Shit and buy ingots and such from them. Like you said, on a gross scale they can tell by this point how the carbon-iron interaction is working, but they're much less familiar with, like, ingots from bumfuckulum are better than ingots from frottingshire because of the specific nickel and magnesium content or whatever.

And like you mentioned, being able to consistently produce heat-treated steel is a sign of quality, which means your smiths (Roman ordnance smithies-- insofar as any existed-- local dudes who live near the garrison, dude who follows around the army with his dinky forge setup) can't be average smiths, you can only hire big-dick smiths to do their fanciest work, which is pretty stupid to do for an item that, speaking from a soldier's perspective, is gonna handled roughly, barely maintained, and haphazardly reclaimed. Plus it's a long, narrow spike of metal in an army that used shortswords and small-segmented, scale and mail armor. This is like 1500 years before we're good enough at metallurgy to be making rapiers and suchlike, your javelins have a short service life anyway. Just doesn't make sense to go whole-ass on quality from a logistics point of view. It's just that "they were meant to bend in an enemy's shield" makes them sound cool and clever and you cool and clever for knowing that, whereas "they did it to save money and production time" just sounds boring and lame to Joe Average.

On a related topic to something you mentioned, it seems like the understanding is spreading that early iron was of moderate-at-best advantage against good quality bronze work, and lacks several very real advantages that bronze has. It just so happens that bronze leaves you utterly dependent on trade networks to source at least one of those high-demand metals that generally aren't found together, while iron you "just" source and smelt and work. I've seen more and more people suggesting what immediately occurred to me when I read this, which was that not being reliant on trade networks meant you could be a lot more aggressive with relative impunity, and this explains a lot of infamous Iron-age belligerence more than just "they were powerful and vengeful and had Super Swords"

[system-of-a-feather]

[@A -- if that's still a thing]

Um, is it still ok for people to send advice requests? The post I found about it was 4 years old so I'm not sure if that's changed at all (but the fact I was searching deep enough in the persecutors tag to find a 4 year old post probably tells you something).

Like it's great and all to see people talking about how to help hosts connect with persecutors but I never see any advice for the actual persecutors.

I don't want to talk to the rest of my system. I don't want to talk to our friends or our therapist. I don't trust anybody. I hate everybody.

The others keep telling me the "bad stuff" is over and I don't have to keep being a persecutor. But I know better. There are always people just waiting for us to let our guards down. I hate them for being so vulnerable and then when it comes back to bite them, they act like they have any right to be hurt by it.

And they never listen to me. They act like I'M the pathetic one and feel sorry for me, and keep telling me stupid lies. The more they're nice to me the more I don't trust them, same for our friends and therapist. No one is ever nice without an ulterior motive, especially not to people like us who don't even deserve it.

But I feel kinda miserable. I don't really like when I hurt the others. Today I made my in-system big sis cry and she never cries. I feel stuck. I don't want to open up to anybody but I can't figure out the answer by myself.

Don't worry about it, it's cool XD We kinda just float on here to chat about things and are basically always open for casual advice and two cents on things, especially (but not exclusively) related to DID which is / was the obvious original premise of this blog. (also damn we've been running this blog for over four years damn)

Honestly, in our experience persecutors vary greatly related to the specific stuff they've been through, what sort of dynamics are being played with what parts, what situations trigger persecutory behavior, etc so I don't think there is really any "one size fits all" sort of thing I can particularly share.

Instead I can give some food for thoughts from our experiences in our system and you are more than welcome to send another ask if you have any comments or questions or anything on it - cause again, we are just here to sit and chat for the most part.

We have a good few "persecutors" but we also don't really use that as a role label anymore cause in our experience, persecutors just tend to be labeled that as a result of perspective and the direction that life is going which comes with an inherent bias to the host and prominent protecting parts. And due to that perspective and bias approach to the label, it kind of paints one side as the problem and the other side as the victim when really... its just a toxic breakdown of communication and missunderstanding between parts. I'm of the opinion that almost any part in most persecutor/persecutee dynamics (there are exceptions I've heard, but they're not standard) can be framed to be the persecutor OR the persecutee.

As a result, in our system, we comment on a part having "persecutory behavior" or "behaving in a persecutory manner" because it's a common issue a lot of parts in our system have. Some have it more than others, but in our experience, almost all parts have been in a position that could be considered a "persecutor" and that shift in language has honestly helped foster a lot more open dialogue and understanding between parts.

With that said - most of this is going to be things XIV has talked to me about as he actually is an ex "persecutor" part and one that talks and deals with persecutor parts the most as of the last two years - a lot of discussion on both ends tend to focus on the dysfunction and what the persecutor hates about the system or what the system can't stand / cope with regarding a persecutor and while that is TOTALLY fair and valid (shits hard to look past especially if its a large scale safety thing and a frequent thing that comes up), it's often not the most productive approach to the internal conflict

Typically it's a lot more productive to step aside from the surface level "this is dangerous" "this is stupid" "this person is an idiot" "this part is annoying" and the long list of things you hate about the system and specific parts and all the varying-levels-of-based criticisms / complaints and try to figure out and understand what exactly it is that you WANT - what are you looking for - what is driving and motivating your feelings, behavior, thoughts, and stances to all of that.

It's hard to address and satiate a list of the things you Don't Like when you have trauma cause - lets be real, the list is endless and its very easy to find more and more issues. Often beneath that list though, there is a core need, drive, interest, etc that means a lot to you that ties together a lot of why you feel and think the way that you do. If you can identify that core need, drive, and interest, it can really help communication and compromising between parts because more often than not, that core need, drive, and interest is likely compatible with the other part's core need, drive and interest - at least superficially.

If that same grounds can be made, then it can help really get parts hearing each other out because it forms a base of good faith.

It's hard to talk to one another when one part wants - for example - to have a person to love and to be loved and wants to seek out a relationship and ANOTHER part wants to keep things the way they are and wants to keep others away because its safer that way. Those two parts are arguing for incompatible demands and the conflict is not going to really go anywhere

Instead however, if we are talking about one part wanting to be loved and another part wanting safety - well there is a lot more discussion that can be done as to how the system can approach BOTH being loved AND safety.

Of course that requires all parties to be playing with an open mind to some modification to their initial demands and expectations, but it's a general approach that XIV tends to take with parts that are prone or actively behaving in persecutory manners cause it's how he tends to navigate it.

Also this advice isn't really meant to be directed at persecutors or "the other parts" cause again, we don't really see those as clean cut roles and generally think this is a sort of approach and philosophy and methodology that is something that all engaged parts would benefit from reflecting on.

Cause even if you don't like other parts, even if you HATE other parts, if you can clearly identify what it is you need in life and what it is you are driven and motivated by - it is very hard to deny some level of cooperation if the other party is actively offering to help you get the very thing that motivates you. You don't have to like someone to know that - due to sharing a body - having them on your side to get what you want / need is very helpful and important.

So I guess if I had to say any form of advice, I'd kinda want to ask what it is that you want from your life and what does that mean to you and just kinda think on it for some time.

It's more productive to stand for what you care for and need than it is to fight against what you hate.

Anyhow, thats my two cents on it, feel free to follow up if you like. We just like chattering online

[arvoze]

hiiii can i just say i really really like ur characters and art and seeing it makes me so happy sorry if im coming off as weird or somethin

also who is ur favorite oc that you've made? or ocs if u have more than one u really like

i hope it's ok to respond to this publicly since u asked a q :-] thank u! i don't think it comes off as weird at all haha. i'm very used to it actually! (strangely? it just happens to me often for some reason)

my fav oc i've made for pmd specifically... varies. design-wise, i really like what i did with calamity (lombre), butcher (spidops), and violet (armarouge). i kinda like em all for different reasons, violet was a slight step out of my comfort zone haha. i actually like a lot of my pmd designs tbh. my number one fav oc ever would technically just be me! because that's me, and i like lookin like that. i rly like the design for my kerosona too bc he's kind of just a silly little guy.

for pmd specific favourites overall, my very silly unfortunate obvious answers are luwel (nuzleaf), keith (cacturne) and mike (breloom). even if they're pretty much just Guys With Clothes, they're very special to me, the last two specifically -- keith was my starter pokemon in a nuzlocke randomiser from ~2016-17 (not entirely sure) and i grew pretty attached to him. mike was the name of a competitive-ready breloom i was given during the gen 4 era, given to me by an old friend when i was maybe about 12 years old give or take (not entirely sure on the exact date, but pre-gen 5).

there's not anything overtly special about the two of them on the outside, but they're both just very important characters/pieces of my pokemon history personally. it's a little bit of being able to look back at two different eras of my interest in pokemon from when i was growing up, & being able to bring them "back" just has a Nice Feeling To It. i enjoy a lot of my ocs overall, i'm not really in the same boat as many other people who go "all of my ocs have a little bit of me in them" -- most of mine don't. i just make guys for fun, and sometimes i keep em and make stories with them. they're not all representative of me in some way, shape or form. some of them are! but most of them aren't. i just like messin around with funny guys. it's very difficult to give actual specific favourites haha

[silversatin2105]

uh- i feel embarrassed to ask but- can you do a match-up?? kinda interested i am straight pronounce She/Her Age: 15/16 Personality: i like taking care of kids, i can be very picky depending on the day, i like baking and cooking, i like cats, especially black munchkin cats, i draw, make bio's for my oc's, you'd see me everyday at least drawing 3 drawings full to the brim, i love plushies, i can be extremely jealous, but i don't get angry or make any outbursts, i'm very affectionate but very shy to show any, i care for my family and i'd cook with my mom, can be very childish, i like to go out and maybe do some shopping, i love LOVE playing volleyball and going tot he pool, my favorite food to make is spaghetti squid, which is just like normal spaghetti but there are slices of sausage in a form of a squid, i love to watch anime on quiet days or when i'm bored, mainly like to watch 90's anime or jut old anime's like Ohshc and HxH and sakura the cardcaptor, stuff like that, on a daily basis you'd find me listening to music, i like pop, rock and indie music, my favorite artists are laufey, beabadoobee, lyn lapid and Grentperez, and grimes, on negative days, i look in the mirror a lot and look at every flaw, but i mainly drown myself in music until i feel better, and after i start romanticizing flaws in my appearance and if i still don't like it i ask if i am pretty to be reassured, i love extreme tempurature's mainly the cold, i'm delulu and a hopeless romantic Style: i love long skirt's also because i've worn them since i was young and never worn pants nor to plan to, not due to insecurity but jsut because its uncomfortable for me-, i love oversized jackets, i like to wear puff-sleeves, really just like lady-like stuff, cottagecore. royaltycore, ligh/dark academia styles, i have straight black hair that reaches to my back, i have very faint freckles and a dot on the right side of my face next to my eye, i'm a light bold peach color on the lighter side, i'm half mexican and i like flower patterns, i LOVE LOVE sweet scents like strawberry and vanilla scent's all the sweet fruity scents, i love matching outfits that match the seasons, i love lacy socks and dresses smol traits i have or do: when i meet new poeple to stars a conversation to lighten a mood or say something funny i say "so how are your taxes going" because it'd be funny to ask it out of no where, when i like someone i'd be looking at them, or asking about they're family to get to know them and i'd be very awkward tot he point, i fi get a chance to talk i'd talk a lot and them stop and it'd be dead quiet awkward, if i see a motorcycle i'd look to the side of the bike and see which brand it is, i LOVE sports cars, i want to get one:)) i admire design, and plan to be an architecture a landscape designer and an interior designer, i love sleep over's anyone who is a true friend, i'd cherish and i'd buy gift's for them out of nowhere (got betrayed by their ex-bestfriend and is still coping since it happened the ending of the year before) gets excited when mention going camping i hope i did well, this is my first time doing this kind of thing on a personal level:)) you don't have to do this request,t hank you for your time!!

Hi

Sorry for the delayed response, I had to think on this one deeply and as a result I fell into procrastinating but anyway lets get into the match up

Your Match is

Takashi Mitsuya:

He and you share the trait taking care of children as he looks after his siblings, I could imagine you helping him make the evening meal at some points during the week

Your love of plushes would lead to him from time to time sewing you cat shaped plushes especially after seeing you bothered by something.

He would assure you that you are perfect in your own way by reminding you to stay true to yourself

Your varied clothing styles such as cottagecore, royaltlycore exc leads him into many nights of creativity as he would make sure you had custom outfits that echoed your personality, He even looked into a way of incorporating your favourite scents into the outfits IE Strawberries and the like

He may be a member of a gang and that entails owning a motorcycle so it makes him happy that you automatically knew the brand of his bike.

Your aspirations of going into design align well and I could imagine you both running a shared pinterest mood board of his clothing designs and your interior decorating designs

In summary:

I have chosen Mitsuya for you on the grounds of you both being very creative, the fact that you are family oriented plays into this paring too as I could imagine you being like a sister to his siblings, I also imagine you helping out with evening meals.

I hope this result is to your liking

Toman Inquisitorial division member Silver

Warning:

Please do not remove original tags in Re-blogs, don’t re-post anywhere else or alter the original work.

[tryhardgwen]

hello gwen! this ask is actually half a question and half advice-seeking but- how much do you think irl experiences and interactions affect the quality of your writing? i am very socially awkward and closed-off, not to mention i have very few social relations outside my family. when i try to write dialogue the characters seem to be bland and boring and overall flat copies of... myself? i wanted to ask you if you’ve ever had problems such as these before and even if you haven’t, i still wanted to ask your opinion since your writing (in my personal opinion) has the best characterization i’ve ever read. thanks for reading this ask gwen, i really love your writing and have a wonderful day!

hi op! to answer your question, i think irl experiences definitely do affect your writing, but not by an incredible amount and not by a quantitative scale. it's not like if you have more irl experiences to draw from, your writing is automatically better. art is kind of everything, so like, i guess im jsut trying to say you can make art WITH experiences, but you dont NEED experiences to make art. its not a requirement. if you dont have experiences to draw from, who gaf? you have imagination! socially awkward ppl can still make incredible art and writing. imma yap so post break!

in terms of characterization and irl experiences, i feel like thats just more of a personal thing rather than "interactions with people". like, there's the age old question of projecting yourself onto a character and whether thats "better" or not. and again, there are levels to that. while i think it definitely adds a level to realism at times, it isnt necessary for writing. like, you dont have to have a parent die in order to write about it, and if your parent dies you dont have to write it/or even draw from your experience in order to write it. course, sometimes you want to as a form of catharsis and closure but thats entirely different and again projection and use of yourself has nothing to do with quality other than possibly add a layer of realism. but if you have a strong imagination then you dont need that. its a choice: if youve experienced something for yourself you CAN use it in writing, but ultimately art is art and draws on a multitude of things. it doesn't always have to be a reflection of the self. my characterizations vary in projection; some with none, little, or more of me in them, some taking a bit and dialing it to the extreme. (read, omg i have a unrequited crush. time to make it insane levels of simpage from suhwan in ksvstw.)

dialogue is a whole other realm, and it can be a very tricky thing to write. im only good at dialogue because i have practiced it a lot (i do improv, so. yeah.) in that case like.. experience talking with people could lend to it? but not really, because like... its the act of coming up with a story and creating words that each have a purpose to drive the story. every character has their motivations. you don't actively think about those things when you talk in life or interact with people; that's all subconscious. omg i feel like so stupid and like failing to explain my point rn im sorry

okay if i were to give advice on writing characters and dialogue, i would character analyze first. what are motivations, what do they want to achieve. dialogue is a way they can achieve their overarching goal through speech. think about what they want in each line of dialogue. use verbs! to check in? to flirt? to get an answer? there should be goals and meaning in dialogue, not just filler words. everything is there for a reason! but like dont stress about it bc ur writing for fun like I dont even stress over these rules cus i be writing fanfiction you get me?

also a disclaimer if i sound really scary and pretentious rn i really swear im not cus i promise u. i just kinda like narrative theory a lot and studying it, so im giving my advice in that vein (this is actually just advice that i give screenwriters/writers irl LOL). dont hold yourself up to high standards like! AGAIN i dont even use all this shit for my own writing a ton of the time because i dont got the time for that--i just want to write boys kissing. it just sits in the back of my head and subconsciously gets in probably, because irl i do a lot of narrative, fictional media, and character analysis. ultimately writing is imagination, and while building blocks/fundamentals of understanding character can lend itself to efficacy, its something learned over a lot of time and not necessary if youre simply writing without thought and for fun (which is what i do :p).

like seriously op i am way better at writing theory and theorycrafting but in practice i cant. do this shit. idk my brain idk. but thank you for the ask and i hope this helped?? maybe?? omfg

[reno2005]

When did you begin playing Resident Evil?

Why is Leon your favourite?

Top 5 favourote RE and/or Leon facts?

Do you have any headcanons?

It’s kinda long, sorry lol but thanks for reading if you do!

1. An older brother of mine showed me a video of a comedian at a gaming convention and the whole joke was how cartoony kingdom hearts was compared to how hardcore resident evil 4 was.(it was a different time for sure) so I was fascinated with how hard this game seemed.

One day I went to a swap meet with my dad and this man selling used video games had a copy of RE4. At the time I was too nervous to ask to get it since my dad was… not the kindest to put it lightly. Anyways I saved up the money, I begged my dad to go back to the swap meet to get the game, and luckily it was still there.

2. I had gone into RE4 hearing how cool Leon was.(like I said it was a different time, a lot of people on tumblr think he’s cute but back then he was Chad McGee, I still think he is but whatever that’s just me, don’t think I’ll judge anyone for how they see him)It was probably the hardest game I had ever tackled at the time so having gone through everything the game throws at you blew me away. Like, I’d never seen a man jump like 10ft out of a mining cart and climb to safety. I was so blown away in fact I had shown a friend of mine that one scene in particular like it was Jesus walking on water lol

Leon had such cool lines and his look was pretty cool too(as a kid of course I was “discovering” myself and my tastes). Y’know as a kid you see someone you admire a lot and you want to be just like them and him and the game as a whole was an escape from my pretty bleak childhood. If Leon could get through all that and still win and look that cool while doing it I wanted to be as cool as him. I wanted to look like him too, I discovered I was trans without knowing what that was until a friend told me about transitioning years later.

Right afterwards, because I couldn’t get enough of this guy I found out he was in RE2, so I bought that for the psp. Idk about you, but if I had to go through that shit, that licker would have killed me at the beginning.(which it did, a lot lol) I was fascinated with the game and I would start new games just to run around as Leon shooting stuff. It’s why I believe he’s so cool myself. You don’t get RE4 cool Leon without being already a bit cool.

Also a random addition, I think he’s really kind and caring.

In conclusion, he was my childhood hero.

3. I think it’s pretty cool he graduated top of his class and had extraordinary marksmen skills.

Something about him wanting to solve the disappearances in RC tells me he has an observant and critical mind.(which is why I don’t get why people call him dumb? Or maybe I’m just “old” now and don’t “get the joke”)

The “John Wick” thing Leon does is called the Center Axis Relock(CAR) and the cool swish swoosh stuff he does with Krauser is called Kali. We know he knew kali in OG 4 but with the addition of CAR in 4 remake we can assume he learned that back then as well.(which I’m happy about for preferential reasons)

Leon knows several different Martial arts styles. I don’t know the names but I used to watch martial arts movies a lot when I was younger.

From what I remember reading, his outfit in RE2 is a combination of different parts of varying types of police clothing (winter, summer, etc). Which makes sense since he’s trying to cover himself up as much as possible to avoid bites and grabs.

4. I think he’s a coffee guy.

He’s clearly a meat guy. If I saw a rotting cow carcass and thought of cooked juicy meat, I mean lol to add to that I always imagined he’s a decent cook.

I’d like to think he gets his hands on Matilda and then continuously gets it taken away in some form or another. Poor guy can’t even keep his favourite gun.

Maybe at first it was a new thing to him, but I feel he developed a taste for working out.

Not that he doesn’t like other genres, but if he’s a rock fan he has to like classic rock as well. It just makes sense.

I think he’d actually be pretty good with social media,memes, jokes, and etc.

Not that it’s his whole world, but he gives the impression he cares about fashion/his look to some degree.

I think he likes a fun lighthearted challenge just going off of his lines after completing merchant tasks and if he actually canonically stops by the shooting range.

I’m not sure how to word this one, but he seems nervous about rides and such if they’re out of his control. On the minecart and castle seat shortcut he either audibly shows distaste or uncertainty at the experience the ride will give. But on the jet ski he gives a cool reassuring line with no hesitation.

That being said, I do not think he’s bad at driving, steering, etc. but I’d rather not say anything more than that.

[thoughtsofadyingsoftwaredev]

Hello, Tumblr world! For some reason I am drawn to you in the Fall season. My last post was just over a year ago… sorry about that. Not that you, my lovely reader, care - and that is IF anyone reads this! I won't lie I don't care if people read these or not, this is essentially an online journal for me at this point, ha.

So, what's new with me lately, you might ask? Well, I'll break it down:

Still happy with our house. We've made gradual updates to it since moving in, including redoing some old flooring with some new vinyl faux-wood looking stuff. Super nice. Also replaced an old toilet in the process. Next we're eyeballing a bathtub upgrade for one of the bathrooms and big landscaping changes to our back yard.

Got promoted at work to Senior Software Engineer after 3 years. Not bad turnaround time for that title change, in my opinion. My responsibilities shifted from managing the IAM software to managing our search experience for the many different applications we provide.

This primarily means I'm responsible for drafting search document schemas, working with these other teams to get answers on questions they refuse to provide answers to without me having to ask first, and handling the logic for ingesting hundreds of thousands of items of varying types to different search engines. In my 3.5 years of working here, I have enjoyed the challenges of the job. Of course, it's not without it's awful days or days where my head is screeching, but the good days outweigh the bad for me.

Wife and I are still on speaking terms. That's my way of saying we're both as good and happy with each other as ever lol she's my best friend. We both got super interested in NFL this season and watch every Monday and Thursday game and watch Minnesota (wife's favorite team) on Sundays. RIP Vikings post-Cousins injury.

That's about all I can think of life-wise. My 31st birthday was a few weeks ago, and I feel old as shit sometimes LOL I look in the mirror and I see what seems like new wrinkles in new places, my hair is graying in small parts, and I find it hard to stay up late. It's 1:04AM right now and I find this to be the upper range of my limits lol

I had a dream recently that my wife and I died in a freak accident at some theme park (not a specific one, just some weird abstract dreamy one) - from what I can remember we were on what we thought was part of a ride, but what ended up happening is we both fell to our deaths.

After we died, we both were floating over family and friends as spirits, watching our bodies get carried in open caskets. For some reason, I had two huge pieces of hair that went down both sides of my face (this is nowhere near what my hair looks like so no idea why this was).

At first, when I woke up, I kinda had to laugh at it. The overall sequence of events was a bit silly. But I found myself thinking more and more about it throughout today. Who will care if I die? Not in a "bad thoughts" kinda way, but genuinely - what kind of footprint am I leaving in this world? Will people know or care that I die? Probably not, and I think ultimately I'm fine with that, but the dream gave me pause and kinda fucked with me today haha.

Can I tell you a secret Tumblr? I have a burner Facebook account that I use to see how my old friends are doing. I am very anti-social media, and as part of that, have no real ways of keeping up with people from previous parts of my life aside from those who have my cell or email, so this gives me an outlet to see how friends I've made over the years are doing now.

Some of them never left my hometown, which kinda bums me out, because when I think of my time there, I couldn't imagine having stayed. But I have to consider that they may really love the place and have strong ties to it. I don't want to sound mean when I say that, but it's just a very small, quiet town that seems like a place you'd stay if you decided not to attend university or a trade school. And that's perfectly okay, too.

Some are thriving, too! A very good friend of mine recently got married, and I'm thrilled for him. I remember late nights at college talking with him outside of his dorm in the night air, rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, like the ones you see at Cracker Barrel. We'd talk philosophy, religion, girls, music, and much more. He's an awesome, genuinely kind hearted person and I'm glad to see he's doing well. He's not the only one, there are others who are all out there doing their thing, so to speak. I can't say why, but seeing these people I've known at some points in their lives doing well makes me incredibly happy.

Music is always a wonderful memory and hobby for me. Music is what brought most of my friends I've made and I together. I recently started playing guitar again (thank you Rocksmith 2014) and it has been a blast! I recently acquired a dream guitar of mine for awhile now: a Surf Green Fender MIM Strat. I fucking love it.

Piano is still on hiatus and has been for many, many years. I think it might intimidate me a bit. I eventually will have to bite the bullet and revisit it. I plan on using ABRSM resources to find some appropriate pieces for where I'm currently at. I'm hoping I can ramp back up to SOMEWHERE close to where I was when I went to school for music. I realize it may take years, but I think if I devote myself to it, I can achieve it. Honestly the hardest thing will be getting that dexterity back and remembering scales/fingerings/etc. Hopefully by the time I post next, I can report back with some success on that front!

Hobby coding-wise, I'm starting a new project using a new stack (for me): Java (Spring), Vue, and Postgres. My goal is to create a web application for Veterinarians offices for administrative use. This app will handle invoicing, communications with patients, store pet/owner data, store data regarding prescriptions, surgeries, etc., and probably more I'm forgetting. It's a lot of moving pieces, but it presents a fun challenge on both front-end and back-end, and frankly I've seen the most popular competition (Avimark) and it looks like dogshit. So my plan is to work on this for the foreseeable future, get an MVP up, snoop around my local area and see if anyone is interested in testing it out. This will be a long-term project, though. I have some ramping up to do with Vue as I have not used it since it was still in v1.0, so many things have changed!

Started watching Frieren and that shit kicks ass! The music, the animation, the art style. Only 4 episodes in, but it is easily top 5 anime.

JJK Season 2 has been fucking insane. It started off so crazy, I ended up binge reading the manga up until the end of the Shibuya Incident and holy shit. Seeing the Yuuji vs Choso fight animated was a fucking masterpiece!

Games-wise, I've been deep into WoW classic and FFXIV. FFXIV has always been my go-to, but lately I've been doing WoW and I love the customization that is possible within a class (priests, wars, etc builds can vary wildly and that's awesome!).

And I think that's all I've got! I've been drafting this post for the past 20 minutes-ish. I have to start winding down for today. This may be my longest post so far? Not sure, I'll compare it to my others word count-wise after this and confirm!

[diamondcitydarlin]

sorry to go off even more for a moment, but this kinda blog more than any other that does the 'DNI' thing for everyone under the sun really exemplifies these sort of neo-conservative/puritanical attitudes that have infiltrated fandom culture in the last 10 or so years, that mindset of 'anything I like is good and morally pure and above any kind of criticism and anything I don't like or that makes me feel uncomfortable is bad and therefore sinful and deserving of punishment and judgement'. I'm not saying fandom culture pre-2010 or so was without its own toxicity, but there was more of an understanding of like, 'some things are not for me and that doesn't make them inherently bad or mean they shouldn't exist at all'. We had YMMV (your mileage may vary) and YKINMKATOK (your kink is not my kink and that's okay- or 'kink tomato') which, today, I pretty much never see anymore even in pro-shipper circles, to the point that if you put either of those in a fanwork or post today I think you'd get like at least 5-10 people asking you what the hell that meant. Nowadays people definitely equate their discomfort or personal dislike with 'this thing is inherently bad and immoral and I am justified in harassing/threatening/isolating anyone doing it' more than not and it makes me wonder why that is? I'm sure there's a cocktail of societal/cultural things that go into it, but I feel like a lack of proper education in critical thinking and/or historical example has to factor into it somewhere because it's almost always younger people (20's or younger) that are perpetuating these ideals (not ALL young people though, I realize that, this isn't a boomer-esque old woman yells at youngins post).

but yeah idk the idea of being like 'I'm pro-anti everything except specifically the things I like' is just WILD INSANE work to me lmao, like imagine thinking censorship/puritanical culture is a 'have it your way' burger king order, that you can somehow always be the exception to the rule and that the culture itself won't, by design, eventually lump you in with all the other perceived 'degenerates' (which is literally the term they use unfortunately). I'm just saying I wish this person and others like them could realize and accept how this actually works and not have to wait around for a rude awakening but that's what they've signed themselves up for I fear

just saw a blog through one of those 'based on your likes' things that was DNI proshippers/anti-antis but also DNI anti-self ship ??? so you're cool with 'antis' unless they happen to be specifically against what you're doing. I think that means you're a proshipper luv hate to break it to you