#sorry remembering old niche discourse.

[npdkondraki]

never ever ever forgiving people for how they treated kondraki btw

[a-kinda-boring-writer]

hi i’m new here and i would like to know what you like about brightfire! never seen that ship before and i love hearing about peoples beloved niche ships

Hi, hello! 👋 Welcome to the kitty corner of The Hellsite(tm)

I'm quite sorry for taking two whole day to organize my thoughts 😔. I'm really bad at discussing ships I like. Or ships in general tbh.

Anyways, not surprised at all lol. Brightheart fanships are kinda rare as is, I feel (the fandom loves BrightCloud way too much lol. The most experimental they ever get is adding Swiftpaw or Daisy into the mix). BrightFire must be the nichest thing ever. More of a crackship tbh. There are like three people in the universe who ship BrightFire, we all used to be in the same discord server, and each of us had a different, mutually incompatible interpretation of their dynamic lmao.

Last time someone asked me about one of my fav ships, I couldn't really give them a good answer, and I felt really shit about it. So I'll do my best and I hope it's at least amusing to hear my thought process?

This is probably going to be long and I'm going to explain myself like ass, because I always end up rambling unnecessarily 😔.

Alright:

To be honest, for me, it originally came about as a joke, while writing my PoT-AU rewrite. The main premise of that is that Holly, Jay, and Lion are FeatherCrow kits born in RiverClan, but a fun... gimmick, I guess you'd call it, of that AU is that I strive to research and implement community-wide headcanons and jokes new and old (or just wc fandom practices in general) taken seriously to craft the world-building, plot and characterization of some cats. For example, Leafpool in the AU started as a warrior but was forced to become a med cat by Sandstorm (old fandom rumor based on jack and shit afaik) and she's very pro-life (very strange fandom discourse turned into shitposts gallore from 2019... also, yeah, abortions are a thing that exist in that AU).

Here in Tumblr, Firestar x Everyone is rather popular, so that's part of his character in the AU. That's to say, he's a disaster, with 2 mates, 12 lovers, like 100 flings and 24 litters of kits fathered and counting! (don't worry, the large majority of them died young, so despite his best efforts, he didn't nuked the clans' genetic diversity.... yet).

Anyways, the joke (and pre-phrasing this by saying that I think infidelity in fiction is funny to begin with, and that I don't like Cloudtail. At all). I thought that it'd be hilarious if Firestar, considering his new behaviors, got so annoyed at his nephew one day that he just goes and cucks him. That's it. Incredibly stupid, I know.

Then I started thinking about the ship a bit more, outside of the context of that AU. And I kinda ended up really liking the idea of BrightFire? Firestar is just really easy to ship lol. And as I said, I do not like Cloudtail. So pairing Brightheart up with someone else was an intriguing proposition.

I haven't had the time to sit and write down about it properly, so the following is very tenuous at best. I'm aware this is more of a crackship, so I'm under no illusion that it makes perfect sense within canon or anything like that. Also, this is only ONE scenario I have for BrightFire, the one I've put the most thought, and it takes place on the second part of TNP.

Pre-phrasing this by saying that I don't write my romances as entirely healthy, so if anything sounds lowkey 🤨 then yeah, it's probably meant to be.

The way I see it, Brightheart derives way too much of her self-worth from other cats' feelings and opinions about her. In canon, it's mainly Cloudtail's. One of the guides states something along the lines of "she still remembers what she looked like before the dog attack, and it breaks her heart every time she sees her reflection, she just puts up a brave front and avoids going near water". Bright herself adds that "He gave me another destiny, and I knew that no matter what I looked like, I would be all right. As long as Cloudtail loved me, I was no longer Lostface, but Brightheart". Which I'm sure most people would interpret that as something cute, that's what it was meant as probably, but I'm not most people lol. (bad faith interpretations strike again 🫠)

There are other examples of that stuff within the main books themselves, but those 👆 illustrate the idea already. I don't feel like hunting for screenshots right now.

So, with that in mind, when Cloudtail started neglecting her, favoring spending time with Daisy instead of her... not to mention that Bright had recently lost her home and also had to leave her mother behind to an unknown fate, so she might have been in a vulnerable state as is... I'd imagine she took it really hard.

And to clarify, I'm NOT saying that Cloud was being neglectful on purpose or that he had feelings for Daisy and wanted to replace his wife or anything like that (I think he was just being well-meaning but clueless... and a little dumb perhaps), just that to Bright, it certainly seemed that way.

So in an alternative universe in which Leafpool doesn't step in and chew out Cloudtail to get it together, it's Firestar who intervenes in this situation. But he doesn't go to Cloud, his nephew never listens to him anyways. He goes to Brightheart instead. He doesn't understand what's going on at first, he only knows that she's been moping around in the med cat den a little too much, and he really needs all warriors locked in. They just moved to the lake and there's a lot of work to be done.

He learns what's going on and feels sympathy towards her. He too knows what's like to feel alone even when surrounded by clanmates, and to be neglected by those who you hold dear, those who you thought you had a special connection with (he's still not over his situationship with Graystripe and getting dumped for Silverstream lmaooo)

Firestar cuts her some slack and lets her skip her duties until she feels better. He also starts periodically visiting her, to spend time with her and cheer her up, just like he did with Cinderpelt. He feels responsible in a way, because Cloud is his kin and he (unintentionally) caused this mess.

Brightheart is apathetic at first. But she ends up latching onto him, because she has no one else (Cinderpelt is too busy to spend time with her, dealing with Leafpool's shenanigans and, well, her own upcoming doom. And her brothers... sorry, who?) Over time, Brightheart sort of inadvertently starts getting from Firestar's company and kinds gestures the same validation she used to derive from Cloudtail's.

Eventually, Bright fells well enough to return to her duties, and though things are better, she tries to avoid going on patrols with Cloud. She really doesn't want to know how awesome Daisy is doing in her training or how great her kits are 🙄. And that's all Cloud seems to think about these days. She feels like he compliments her far less nowadays, and even when he does, it sounds kinda hollow.

Instead, she often ends up going on patrols that, coincidentally, Firestar is in (Fire also thinks that Cloud is annoying, so he doesn't put him in his patrols lmao). And they just keep hanging out, as clanmates. Soon they do as friends. And it's his jokes that make her laugh now, and his compliments that causes her to trip over her words.

And when she realizes what's happening, it startles her, causes her to feel really guilty... but it causes her to reevaluate some things. She needs to be loved to be Brightheart, to not be Lostface, to not be dead-weight. And she simply doesn't anymore with Cloudtail. She thought their bond unbreakable, but as soon as someone prettier showed up, he seemed more than ready to drop her. And that sucks because she has a family with him, and so many plans, and so much of her life and future plans were build around him. She doesn't want to throw all that away.

But she feels loved around Firestar. And she needs to feel loved. She's been doing so much better since they've began hanging out. He makes her feel strong, like Cloud used to do. And she's rebuilt her life once. She could do it again...

Firestar has no fucking clue that he's essentially driving a wedge between Cloud and Bright.

(We're going with the fanon-ish funny characterization of Firestar, in which he's handsome, charismatic and very charming, but incredibly clueless. You know, needing Cinderpelt to spell it out for him when Sandstorm wanted to put a ring on it, and all that)

He just sees that Brightheart responds well to what he does, so he keeps doing it. He invites her to share some fresh-kill with him and Sandstorm, and while they eat, he slips in that her fur looks lovely today. Then he pats himself on the back when Bright smiles, and offers to go on another patrol with him. Man, he's just so great at supporting his clanmates! 😌

(In a "Sandstorm is ok with it" scenario, I like to think that Firestar wouldn't understand what's going on until his wife quite literally asks him 'So are you going to invite that woman you've been courting to our nest already, or do you expect me to do it?', with him replying something like "the woman I've been WHAT?")

From that set up, you can take it anywhere, really. Bright keeps quiet and continues with her marriage, for the sake of her daughter. She tries to pursue an affair with Fire and is rejected. She tries to pursue an affair with Fire and he agrees for [insert reason here]. Bright just divorces Cloud publicly and goes for Fire, either getting rejected or not. Or from this event, Bright learns to love herself, without needing others for validation, and it doesn't matter with who she ends up with anymore... or she should yolo it and just marry Daisy, fuck it.

Happy endings are kinda few and far between in my stories lol, but I have a soft spot for BrightFire. I wanna see them happy-ish in the end (Sandstorm too!). Need time to actually think about it, though.

Anyways, yeah. Hope you got something interesting out of this?

<3

[ghostbur-trance]

New Pinned with New Name

Most of the time online I have gone by Tommy. That is still an okayish name, but I would prefer people I haven’t talked to yet/non-moots to call me Turt or Turtle from now on. Ghostbur is also a permissible name, though I will probably laugh if you call me that (/lh). I might wishy-washy over new names, I’ll try to link/sort those posts if I remember.

Boundary shit: Please do not DM me unless you are a mutual. I have that set in my settings, but unfortunately, random messages have come through regardless. Do not talk to me about niche online discourse shit like shipcourse. (Do you debate it irl? No? Then don’t bring it here.) I tend to dislike any shaming of sexual topics, as that has been used to keep me pinned down, socially. I’m unsure whether to count it as bullying, because some bitches LOVE to mince fucking words and I can’t remember shit. Also, a note about my friends.

No DNI. Fuck around and learn what a block button is. I’m tired of the harrassment these things invoke

Tag list (copypasted from previous pinned) under cut

#og post — for my poasts.

#bugs for my bug — also any of the bug tags. for my friend the Bug who has disappeared into the wind. my shayla please text me back (/lh /nm)

#crambo tag — for cameron free-my-boy-grumbot (mutual). I often forget to tag this lmao sorry cameron 😔

#for [name] — usually on sideblog. for whoever’s name be there. usually the fuckers who haunt me.

#adulting — Anything that is more than a vague reference to sexual stuff. minor moots please block this tag or don’t int/reblog those posts for my sanity 🙏 my anxiety will drive me up the wall about it. don’t worry, anything that’s like full out smut will be kept on my sideblog for that shit/other blogs.

#discourse — any sorta posts that get argumentative between users or have someone being an asshole in em. Yes I will even tag things where I like where the resolution ended up. These things stress me tf out and I want to have consideration for others as well

also. #cw gross .which can mean anything but often has to do with snot-related activities

#saving this — my saves. All kinda old bc I started getting stingy about the tag and forgot it existed #ADHD lmao

#the sacred texts — any posts I find on dash that 1) I have seen reposted elsewhere, esp if I saw on pinterest before I got tumblr circa ~2015-2019, 2) older than five years old, 3) deserves 10k notes and immortality like the other posts in the tag

#<MA! TOMMY WON’T SHUT UP!> — I add my own words to people’s posts. Does not (or at least should not) include peer-reviewing someone else’s tags (unless ig i really wanted to save it/felt particularly anxious about it)

Old tags from early tumblr days (posting for memory/access purposes. Please don’t bother me about shit I said/posted two years ago):

#ramblings of a ghost — Old OG post tag. Some of these posts might mention mega man. I’m not really in that fandom anymore, dropped the protoman kin thing as well.

#reblogged arte — As it says. I might still use it from time to time, but most of its use was back then.

(June 2025 edit) Another important note: I used to factkin W*bur Soot, and just now realized that I still feel like shit directed at him includes me. It’s stupid, I know, and no, I do not condone at fucking all what he did and I, too, would like him to fuck off from MCYT communities. But I’m not going to wish death on him. I don’t even wish death on my own abusers, not once in the past five years since I stopped talking to them. So yeah if you post ‘W S kill yourself’ or similar, I will feel like shit and then probably block you for my own health since I’m already suicidal anyway and that makes it worse 👍

[fictionkinfessions]

Hello... popular media kintypes/fictives abuse victim anon here. I really don't want to drag this discourse out because I mostly come here to submit lighthearted confessions, so I have created a list of red flags or warning signs based my experiences with some of the toxic behaviors my abuser exhibited. I hope this is helpful to someone. Sorry if this is awkwardly phrased, making this sound appropriate for both kin and systems is hard (I am both and both was relevant to my abuse). Trigger warnings

Please be careful if:

- they are extremely focused on your kintypes/fictives based on interests they have or fandoms they're in and seem uninterested in you as a person/your current life/other system members

- they respond poorly to you having shifts or system members front they aren't interested in. They may be rude to you in those shifts, ignore fronting headmates or ask them to leave front or ghost you. They may pressure you into having specific shifts or making specific members front and guilt trip you if you can't (such as threatening to hurt themselves or talk about how much they hate themselves)

- they seem to kinfirm or form fictives of past-life partners/family members/close friends quickly after you have kinfirmed a kintype or formed a fictive

- they automatically expect you to treat them/their fictives as canonmates or they begin referring to you as their partner/family member etc (such as them forming a fictive of one your fictive's canon love interest and immediately beginning to flirt with your fictive). This includes fictives seemingly being ''set up'' to date. They may behave sexually or overly familiar with you/your system members based on these souce-relations (including irl if applicable)

- they demand or beg you form fictives from sources they have fictives from so they won't be ''alone'' or insist you would totally be with kin XY if you only got into it (if spirituality is applicable, they may claim to be using magic or having a headmate with the ability to create said headmate in your system)

- they use their kintypes' experiences or system members' source memories (if applicable) to guilt you or make you comfort them (for example by claiming past life trauma, mental illnesses or neurodivergencies or disabilities that do not apply to them (my ex-friend would claim headmates had tourettes or autism neither of which they bodily had and they acted very stereotypical/infantilizing too (I am autistic)), and then expecting you to coddle them and take care of them. When not giving them this attention, they may become furious)

- they isolate you from other kin folk or systems (my ex-friend would threaten suicide or self-harm or claim I was going to replace them when I mentioned just speaking to any other system or anyone who was kin. This did not apply to them, they had plenty of system/kin friends). They want your system members or kintypes all to themselves, using the fact that the alterhumanity and plurality are rather niche

- they do not allow you or your system members agency or boundaries. If you have a system member they aren't close with, they will try to get involved with them by lying or manipulating. If your system member isn't interested, they will be ostracized. (For example: being told no one likes them and no one wants to talk to them, or they may be declared as Evil and Bad). System members that are involved with them are expected to act a certain way and not allowed to exist freely. They are treated as playthings rather than people

- they are inconsistent. They may have new kintypes or fictives with every new interest and the old ones never shift/front again. If you bring up a source memory, they will claim to have remembered this all along (to make sure they are your ''canonmate''). System members/kintypes might retroactively become trans or disabled (i.e. a cis man becoming a trans man) specifically in response to memories. If you ever point out these inconsistencies you will be treated as crazy or told you're wrong, they were ALWAYS like this, if you can prove them wrong it's brushed off as a joke

These are just a small sample but they might be helpful to someone.

=

[milfygerard]

god im sorry but realizing the real, insane ripple effect p*yton b*chd*ath had on this web will never stop being weird like. i thought he was So Cool as a like 15 year old id stalk his blog and read all his posts and niche articles and take them all at face value as correct and inherently gay. I didnt even question him until i stepped away from #discourse tumblr and he started being suuuper weird abt literal child finn wolfhard. I think he also thought drake was gay he was definitely transmisogynistic in a qay i did not recognize in 2017 he took IASIP WAYY too seriously he wrote a script or like had a concept where andrew garfield was like a reporter and dev patel owned a giant corporation and they fell in love while andrew garfield was trying to incestigate his comapny for like. crimes. no one ever mentions that it was such a bad idea that I still remember it. i would literally read the callout posts and not understand any of what was said so I didnt unfollow for like 3 years. i pretended to like a car seat headrest song even though it was 12 minutes long and boring bc I didnt wanna feel uncool bc obviously cool people like p*yton like csh. He was a gaylor and hated reputation. I found him from TJLC posting. I literally thought I was one of five people following him I cant believe other people saw these posts I literally have friends now who knew him at his pique popularity on here. he literally stalked someone. what the fuck

[moviestorian]

Im glad the asks helped! I have anxiety and depression and can understand what youre going through. My ask today is what are your thoughts on Bo Rhap as a movie?

Thanks! :) I’m above all extremely happy to see people on this site being so kind and supportive in time of need, it’s a human quality that will never get enough praise! I’m also really sorry to hear about your problems. :( I send you lots of love, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I’m sure you're strong and coping❤️

As for your actual question - that’s some truly excellent and interesting timing, considering that I rewatched BoRhap (with @incblackbird) literally three days ago. :P It was already my third rewatch, and while I enjoyed the movie overall, I liked it quite significantly less than upon the last time I saw it. Of course, there’s been gazillion discourses about BoRhap, whether it’s genius, extremely evil, etc., but since it’s such a broad topic (and I think some of my opinions could potentially outrage certain parts of the fandom), this time I’m going to stick to purely cinematic terms.

Needless to say, the soundtrack is excellent - with music such as Queen’s you don’t really have to do much, but they made a good choice of songs, alternating between their best known hits (We Will Rock You, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody) and songs to fit the narrative (Doing All Right, Now I’m Here, Who Wants to Live Forever, Love of my Life). It’s practically impossible to leave the screening of BoRhap without at least one Queen song stuck in your head.

The cast was overall very good, too. My personal favourites in terms of acting were Gwilym Lee (who I liked even more than Rami), Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton and Allen Leech - I think they did a great job with their roles as they were written (whether their characters were well written or not is a subject for a whole another discussion). All the side characters were well acted, too (Mike Myers, Meneka Das and Aaron McCusker, for instance, I found particularly memorable), but I must admit I wasn’t a big fan of Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy, but even they weren’t bad. So, acting is definitely one of the strongest points of the film.

Moving on, I also think they did a great job when it comes to costumes (Brian lending some of his old clothing definitely helped) and make-up (except for Roger’s wigs, perhaps); the choreography and stage movement for the characters were super well done, too - and it definitely wasn’t an easy task!

Now, let’s discuss cinematography. I will talk about editing in a separate paragraph, so for now I’m gonna stick to other aspects. The composition of shots struck me as rather mediocre, nothing particularly exceptional in either good or bad way, it was pretty basic but rather correct. Of course, there were some shots I really liked, but if I were to start adding screenshots the post would become way too long. XD The colours I really liked, especially in the musical scenes - they were vivid and lovely, and they used a combination of colours that I tend to appreciate in cinema, like various shades of blue and red. Finally, the camerawork - for dialogue scenes it was correct; again, rather average with some use of handheld camera which served no particular dramatic purpose, but it wasn’t nowhere near very bad, also it’s quite a common thing in modern biopics I would say. Handheld camerawork isn’t bad in default, but my comment largely comes from my personal preferences: in most cases I don’t really like it, especially when it’s particularly shaky. Then, there are scenes in BoRhap which display excellent camerawork, namely Live Aid and We Will Rock You scenes. If most scenes were filmed like that, I would give the movie a higher rating.

Before I move to the worst (imo) cinematic aspects of the movie, let’s have a look at writing. It is probably the most divisive thing in the fandom - people seem to either adore or absolutely loathe it; my stance lies somewhere inbetween. The first time I saw the film (I’m gonna remind you that I’ve seen it four times), I had certain objections, but the script didn’t bother me all that much; I was mostly simply having fun in the cinema. With every next watching, the experience was getting gradually worse, but even now I don’t hate the movie. Yes, some of the dialogue is cheesy, trite and makes me cringe a bit - certain parts of the script definitely end on an “overly sentimental” territory, I can’t deny that. Knowing quite a lot about Freddie, Queen and their stories, I generally think they deserve a better script; some characterisation was a bit offputting and chronology was all over the place. Having said that, I understand where some of those narrative choices come from, as scripts for mainstream movies require oversimplification of events, archetypes, and patterns. And quite frankly, I don’t think BoRhap differs any drastically from most modern biopics; it’s not a masterpiece, but - in my opinion - it’s also not bad overall. Regardless the flaws of the script, the movie still managed to emotionally affect a huge, if not major, portion of viewers, entertain and move them, and honestly? I think that was pretty much the point. Btw, there were some lines that I really loved, like “Puritans in public, perverts in private”, and I still think that their decision to cut from Live Aid performance to Ray Foster’s grim face during We Are the Champions was the funniest shit ever. XD Would BoRhap’s script benefit from sticking to historical accuracy? I’m gonna say yes, I think so - the scenes that were the closest to actual events are definitely the strongest - but this approach would require tons of changes, including narrowing down the narrative scope and probably the characters, too. Also, a lot of people keep forgetting that this is not an arthouse, niche film and therefore resorts to narrative and cinematic choice that compromise between satisfying the fans and the newbies; it’s meant to tell a (simple) story and entertain, not educate and provoke existential and philosophical debates. Still, I think the script could have been done a bit better, because some scenes  (the tour “Now I’m Here” montage) feel a bit...random?

Finally, the infamous editing. I totally agree that it was one of the most undeserving Academy Awards that year, because some scenes were simply atrocious, with their unmotivated and overly fast cuts and unreasonably ridiculous face that doesn’t fit the dialogue scenes, and those are honestly the worst when it comes to pacing and editing. I think the editing is the worst aspect of BoRhap; but even here, I could point at some examples of pretty amazing editing (Oscar-worthy? Not necessarily, but definitely very good); again, I’m gonna bring up Live Aid and “We Will Rock You” scenes, especially the latter, because less people talk about it. I already mentioned that it has some really nice camerawork AND colours, but also the editing is actually really cool, because it’s cut to the music! Which makes me think: “what a shame!”, because if they went with different editing choices, the movie would be affected in a positive way. The way we have it, it’s either a hit or miss (sadly, mostly miss), and the badly edited scenes are pretty striking, so the ones that are done nicely are unfortunately a wasted potential.

Okay, this is already waaay too long, so I’m just gonna finish with a few general remarks. Well, despite BoRhap’s flaws, I still like and enjoy it. With every screening slightly less, but enjoy it anyway. I don’t think any amount of discourse will ever take away my positive experiences and memories from seeing it twice in cinema. It sparked my previously dormant love for Queen and united me with some people in the fandom and in real life; making this movie made Brian and Roger happy; as a result, I like this movie. It brings back a lot of positive recollections, which sometimes is more important than critical discussions. And boy, do I adore those - I’m often critical and I adore analysing stuff academically; but I think that not all daily interactions require those and depending on who’s asking and what about, I’m capable of switching between the two options. If somebody asks me in 25 years whether I remember the times of BoRhap’s release, I’ll be far less likely to say “yeah, the editing sucked and writing was cringy, I remember the discourse on tumblr and instagram” than “Yes, I remember that chilly evening in December when I had a really fun time and ended up with 10 Queen songs stuck in my head”, because the latter is the experience I want to remember.

Thank you for this ask! Hope it wasn’t overly exhausting to read, I didn’t proofread this, sorry! xx

[thenerdyunhealthybrit]

Just popping in to say I love your blog! I’ve started watching US soaps recently, and my god, they really are different from UK soaps! 😄 I’m actually strangely fascinated by them lol

Awwww! Thank you! I presume that you are British as well? I never actually intended for my blog to become soap heavy, but it just kind of naturally happened recently, because my favourite mutual - we bonded over US soaps, plus a lot of my OTPS are either too niche to share or were not endgame and the show ended and I haven’t had a new OTP to overtake them.

This is going to turn into a long post - I’m sorry. Not my intention.

They are intriguing to watch from a soap aspect. Before I started watching US soaps, all I knew of them was what I saw from Friends when Joey joins Days of our Lives. Or when you watch sitcoms and they are shouting at the TV about a US Soap.

Then a few years back, The Bold and the Beautiful added new episodes for UK audiences on YouTube, they were a year or two behind, so I gave it a go - especially because I knew an actress from Neighbours would be joining the show. But after a year they just stopped uploading them. I think it was because there was a lack of audience.

Then I took a break and then I got into General Hospital and Days of our Lives - I’ve so far consistently stuck with them even though General Hospital is quite the task these days. I did try and give The Young and the Restless a go - but I just found it too similar to The Bold and the Beautiful.

As for British soaps, I’m on and off them for years. Just because real life happens that it becomes hard to consistently watch a bunch, so I tend to get hooked at one point because of a character or storyline then if life takes over I stop, but I still read up on what is happening.

So currently, the British soap I’m hooked on is Corrie - particularly Daniel and Sinead’s storyline so when I get the chance I’m hoping to go back to some 2016 episodes to catch up (there are other aspects that I’m invested in so I watch to go that far back to catch up).

I also like my Aussie soaps. When I was young I loved Home and Away, as I got older I’m more into Neighbours. But both aren’t as good as it use to be, especially Home and Away. 

Also if you can it is fun to watch old soap episodes, I remember last year or the year before I went and watched old Home and Away episodes from the 90s and 00s and from a historical POV it’s fascinating to watch because of how technology has advanced, it’s refreshing to see how storylines are done without computers or mobiles.

Anyway, what soaps have you watched? British or US? Which ones are you currently into? Also a friend of mine has recently gotten me into Telenovelas which is a fun contrast to US soaps and British soaps. I’ve also watched a Scottish soap.

Also if you need people to talk about soaps, feel free to pop in, join the discourse. I don’t know if you watch General Hospital, but if you do the General Hospital tag is a good little fandom to be part of. I met a lot of my soap mutual there and its way less toxic than twitter or other fandoms. Relatively drama free.

[amonsaiqaxiv]

                                                                                GROWTH & GRATITUDE

When Heavensward launched I was in a pretty awkward point in-game. I wasn’t entirely too invested in XIV or in MMO’s in general. The group I played with was a mix of old-school MMO WoW veterans and die-hard FF fans. I wasn’t exactly mechanic savvy nor too enthralled in the lore behind this game. I was put in a weird spot, to say the least. I couldn’t help but feel out of place with both the friends I had and the giant community sprawled out before me. It took...countless fucking hours of throwing my head against content, seeking guidance from other players, and fighting against my own ignorance to get comfortable playing this game.  Around that time, I had also stumbled across the XIV community here on Tumblr through a friend. Our community is a vast fucking place and I felt extremely overwhelmed at first. Like, I can barely interact with people in-game as it is, man. I had no clue how things worked on this end. However, one thing I was quickly able to latch onto were screenshot edits. I’d had....many...many years of experience with this concept back when I was roleplaying (on Myspace of all things). It was after this little rediscovery that I found my niche here and the rest of it is pretty self-explanatory. Fast forward two(ish) years later and things have changed. I love this damn game guys, I really do. Being able to experience new content, striving to improve both job and player skill is such a damn thrill for me. I’m confident in what I can offer as a player and I’m constantly excited for new opportunities to grow.

As for this blog, oh man...I never in a million years expected this to be where it’s at today. I really just used this blog to selfishly post screenshots and fuck man....the response has just been so overwhelmingly wonderful. 

Look, I’ve never been particularly good at expressing my feelings, ESPECIALLY not through writing. Things come a bit more naturally through speech but most of the time? I keep to myself outside of my small circles and even then I tend to internalize my anxieties onto myself. It’s tough conveying my thoughts into words since my mind tends to race around. However, despite these difficulties, one thing that’s always come naturally to me is the ability to express gratitude. I am so damn thankful to those of you who have had a hand in helping me grow both as a player and as a member of this community. So before we trudge off into expansion, I wanted to draft something up to commemorate the time I’ve spent with each of you:

Thank you to everyone I’ve met within or because of @theriskbreakers : @sylvan-rain @onwesterlywinds @crimson-bull @thefateofivalice @a-kelping-hand @moonlifter @safestsephiroth @thecat-inthehat @afflatus-solace @reflectionsofacreator @quartercirclejab @the-goggles-lizard @wandererspaean @ivaan-ffxiv @tovakiin @zulak-rah @jenesislabariel @twelvesavethequeen @wyranimh @cogflox @varae-ver-you-are (I’m sure I’m missing tons more, sorry.)

Seriously, guys, it’s been a while since I first stumbled through the Sandsea’s doors but it’s been a blast. Thank you for always making things feel at home despite the fact that RP isn’t really my thing. Whether we’re blitzing through content or goofing off in chat it’s been wonderful and I can’t wait to see what Stormblood has to offer for us.

Thank you to my raid static for 3.X: @khojin-arulaq @sessionzeroart @evrett

Though frustrating at times, raiding with you all was overall an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world. It’s such a unique feeling when shit got challenging and we still managed to pull through. I’m grateful to you guys for what we did and value the friendships we made throughout. 

Thank you to @zenathered @kukurubean @foewreckem @korpokkur-kid @yaianse (and the whole turtle crew really) as well as @fatewalker @nyxastra @coeurlfist for being great enough to show off how awesome people on other servers can be. It’s been fun befriending each of you either through tumblr or whenever you nerds decide to log onto your respective alts. 

Thank you to @ladyrivienne @ferai-caolann @lavenderrpurr @manawalls @alannah-corvaine @abalathian @qarajin-borlaaq for being some of the downright best art motivation I’ve got. I’m pushing myself to improve constantly whenever any of you create something. It’s inspirational and that drive to improve you’ve given me is a debt I could never repay. 

Thank you to @sins-of-allag @ayyymeric @aether-eyes @dayst-ffxiv @lauranis @lunae-lux  @xaruun @invisiblebounds-ffxiv @fair-fae @lance-of-fury @tetenuko @tiergan-vashir @freshorenjuice @aethericseafarer @nightmaze @necrologos @sequoiaofeorzea @gaeliseeker @nalukaixiv @pygmaioi for a myriad of reasons between all of you. Thank you for being super supportive of both myself and the blog. For lending out a helping hand (or keeping my head out of my ass) and just for being good friends in and out of game.

Thank you to @mahnsturr @raelcsart @yalakid @dantroziman @doorway-through @fainfaineant for all the fun I’ve had with each of you in GRIMM. Thank you for all the great art of Amon and thank you so much Rae for taking care of my Alex’s ass. <3

THANK YOU TO MY MOTHERFUCKING DISCORD: @haila-wetyios @luma-lee @naveiasue @lyriahkarnelle @sharlayan-scholar @desertsaffron FOR PUTTING UP WITH ALL THE UNADULTERATED BAT-SHIT CRAZY NONSENSE THAT OCCURS IN THERE EACH DAY. It gets absolutely fucking wild sometimes in Unlimited Chat Works and I am fucking blessed that you guys still manage to put up with my bullshit. Whether we’ve been friends since the beginning or you’re just now realizing how crazy we are in there thank you. I love you guys with all my fucking heart and I have so much fun every single day in there with each of you. 

Thank you, @koidrakevice you fucker for so, so, much. For all the times we’ve spent late at night theory-crafting, grinding, researching, just...playing XIV. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t gotten me back into the game. I’ve grown so much because of you and being able to do content our way with you and Douglas is genuinely the thing I look forward to the most in Stormblood. Thank you, buddy, for being one of the best friends I’ve ever had and for playing XIV with me. It means more than you know and more than I’ll ever fucking admit because fuck you. 

Thank you always, @fishtailsushi I love you the world over and playing XIV together with you is something I’ll remember for the rest of our lives. You’ve grown so much in this game and in many aspects, you’re a far better player than I am. Thank you for continuing to stand with me and in making memories with all of our crazy friends. Thank you for pushing me to do better and supporting me through all of my doubts in-game and in real life. I love you poop, and thank you.~

Finally... thank you to everyone who’s been a part of the journey thus far. I’m not sure where things will end up in Stormblood, but I can promise you that I’m going to continue to improve, both as a player and a member of this crazy community. So if you’ve made it this far, take to heart that regardless of our differences, we’re all in this together. Fuck whatever discourse may pop up and just try to have fun and focus on all the good around you because as you can see, this place full of love, you’ve just got to open yourself up to it.-

Take care, and I’ll see you in Stormblood.

Patrick Amon.