#sorry. figuring out the folds is hard. and also. the intimacy of bare skin ……. i’m always wanting javieran to be as close as physically poss | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

themilky-way · 5 years ago

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kinship {loki odinson}

gif credit: go-fandom-imagines

pairing: loki odinson x female! reader

summary: loki never thought that he’d defend, let alone protect, a midgardian. but after seeing you, in your most vulnerable states, he made it his mission to look after you. loosely based on this song.

warnings: some hints of violence (nothing too graphic), blood, and like one bad word. also when the characters say “kid” to you, it’s nothing age wise it’s just something i feel they’d call you yk.

notes: i’m in my loki feels ya’ll know the drill i just miss this man. also ik some of u ladies don’t have long hair i’m sorry! i’m having a little trouble making the words fit and stuff so please give me tips on how to improve!

the first time it happened was when you were sleeping. he never meant to walk in on your frail body, curled up in a ball in the over sized armchair tony had installed in the common room. your feet were tucked in neatly beneath you, with one hand splayed out across your stomach while the other held a book, your thumb keeping it partially open. your head had lolled down so it could rest on the arm rest, and while at first it had been rather uncomfortable, you let your eyes naturally droop so they could rest.

it had been the middle of the night, roughly around two in the morning, when loki decided to walk around the tower. he did this every so often, finding some sort of comfort from the peace and quiet the darkness held, but he had never encountered anybody else. he walked down the hall and past every avenger’s room, until he reached the living room. originally, his plan was to stand at the wide glass window the room displayed and simply watch the city lights glitter in all sorts of patterns. after that, he would go to the terrace for a bit, just enough for the sun to come up and the sky to change to warmer colors. but he didn’t do that tonight. why? well, he didn’t really know the answer to that himself.

when he entered the room, he came across your sleeping form. he noticed the way in which you nestled your body further down the fur of the cushion and curled yourself into your body just a little more to stop goosebumps from forming. you were cold, your body heat not enough to cover the sharp temperatures that reached you. loki, taking note of this, took off his cardigan, and walked over to where you were sleeping. he straightened the delicate fabric before he laid the emerald green sweater over your frame. he tucked it in where he felt it might fall over with a random movement, careful to not dig his fingers in too deeply so it would hurt or startle you. next, he took the liberty to carefully retract the open book from your hand to place it on the coffee table, and then grabbed more of his cardigan so it covered your relaxed hand and tummy. he drew back a few steps, to examine his work. he felt it was mediocre, not as good as it might’ve been if steve or wanda had done it, but it was enough for you to rest.

loki was not a man who grasped the concept of emotional connections very well. he was someone who didn’t have a feel for intimacy, who despised physical touch, who didn’t know anything about feelings other than hatred or malice. but here he was, peering down at your frail body, in one of its most fragile states that could possibly exist, and felt something. he didn’t know what it was, and he knew he didn’t want to find out, but it would reach him. the feeling, along with the desire, to get to know you in more intricate ways.

he walked over to the couch a couple of feet to the right of where you were and took a seat, folding his left leg onto the soft, plush seat while the other one remained planted on the marbled floor. he had a view of the window, like he originally planned to study, but he found his attention drifting to another sight. he observed how quietly you breathed, the soft exhales that your nose released every few seconds. after a while, he noticed how your lips parted slightly and began to exhale with it instead. the soft breaths turned louder, and your snores were now evident to him. they weren’t loud, barely even there, and only lasted a minute or two before they returned to regular breathing.

he also noticed how the hair on top of your head was beginning to disperse from its neat place. the soft, baby hairs that adorned the sides of your forehead lost their place and decided to scavenge for another, and the more you adjusted your head, the more they ruffled. he also saw the way your body slightly trembled from the sudden gusts of wind the air conditioner would send, and how you finally embraced his clothing. it sent a thrill through loki, the thought, the image of you breathing in his scent that lingered on his sweater, how you seemed to like it and do it so mindlessly. it empowered him. and so he stayed there until dawn.

the next time loki encountered you in a similar state was two weeks later. tony had sent him to fetch you for a mission that was risky, and he had felt bad to include you since you had put in some vacation hours. loki, although he would never openly admit to anyone nor himself, had conducted some research on you since he first saw you. he knew you were stressed, deeply longing some time off to unwind and focus on yourself, and he seemed almost hesitant to follow through with stark’s request. nevertheless, he started his way up to your room, following the route to the elevator, and cutting some sharp corners to finally reach your corridor. as he was strolling down it, however, he caught the hints of different patternized beats and melodies coming from the end of it. he kept his ears perked in case he heard someone else, brows furrowed in confusion, but as he kept his pace and finally reached the outside of your door, he discovered the music was comingfrom you. he felt weird, intruding into your personal space like this, but in his defense, stark had sent him. just before he could reach up and properly knock, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. not sufficient enough for you to see him but enough for him to see you. he watched your body, a little too intently for his liking, flow to the rythmn of the upbeat song. your hands reaching up to run them through your hair while your hips swayed from side to side. your right foot would step out and then you’d bring your left one in, and then did the opposite.

all in all, it was an innocent dance, you were releasing tension that you were holding in for a while, and you were happy. loki saw that, in your face to be more exact. his eyes first reached your own, which were closed and nowhere near recognizing his broad figure in your doorway. he scanned your nose, how your nostrils would flare harder than usual whenever you released a longer breath. he compared it to when he first saw you sleeping in the common room, and he couldn’t decide which event he liked better. he finally reached your lips, and he had to physically fight his newfound urges and stop himself from busting in and connecting them to his own. they were delicate, soft, and slightly chapped. it was evident that you picked at the skin on your bottom one because he noticed a small red patch on one side of your bottom lip. he couldn’t look away, and he felt awful, thinking of you in such intimate ways while you were unbeknownst of his presence. but what made him almost completely lose his mind was the moment in which you tucked that very same lip, the red, almost raw, portion of it between your teeth. he let his eyes run over the action, and felt an all too familiar emotion grow in the pit of his stomach, one that he never imagined you’d be the one to elicit.

he’d had enough. he’d seen enough. without thinking twice on it, loki barged into your bedroom, steel door hitting the wall with a strong bang, and spoke with authority.

“stark needs you for a mission. he wants you onboard in ten.” you spun around to face him, a sharp gasp escaping your throat and shocked expression washing over your features. he had to mask his worry and regret of scaring you like this with indifference. he needed to do it like this. he couldn’t risk you turning too far and opening your oh so beautiful eyes only to find him creepily concentrating on you.

“loki, what the hell,” you breathed. “you fucking scared me!”

he tried to not let the way you had voiced that get to him. you were startled, frightened, and that mixed with the energy you were dancing with was sure to leave you gasping. but loki had seen you, twice now, in some of your purest forms. so the way you softly huffed his name, even for different reasons, made his mind run wild and his heart jump hurdles. he managed to keep his face stilled, though, and rolled his eyes and told you not to be such a wuss and to shut your music off. you walked over and turned the knob of your stereo down, complying. it took almost every cell in his body to keep from muttering out incoherent apologies, pulling you in close and stroking your ruffled hair. but he didn’t do that.

“yeah yeah. whatever. can you tell tony that i can’t go? i’m taking some days off and i-”

“he made it clear to me that you’re presence is crucial to the outcome of this mission,” he interrupted, his voice low. you rolled your eyes and started to frantically assemble your go bag, thanking loki for the message. he wanted to stay and watch you do this too, but all he did was let out a hum of acceptance and walk out your door. as he walked through the corridors and seemingly endless turns to leave your dormitory, he replayed everything he saw, and a small smile curved its way onto his own lips. and for the entirety of the next week that you were gone, he kept doing it.

you, with much reluctance, had hopped on the plane with steve, bucky, tony, and natasha. it was a hard mission, but you had been trained by one of the fiercest assassins that the world ever saw. so, alongside natasha, you fought almost effortlessly. but regardless of how effective you and your team performed, the enemy was also calculated. he managed to trick you into believing he was alone, that he was finishing this fight by himself. but when bucky was holding the sinister man down, he got hit with a strong blow to his shoulder. the metal of the bullet would have clashed against the metal of his own arm, but this bullet, according to the dying words of the man, was made especially for bucky. he was wounded, and tony flew to get him off the field as quickly as he could. natasha took hold of the man and held him down one last time, and as more of his soldiers appeared all around you, you and steve attacked them. you gave your everything, landing nasty blows in every direction. steve threw his shield to pin an adversary to the side of a car as he pinned you down on the ground, and you reached over to take it out of the man and shifted so you were able to see behind you. as soon as you did, you connected the blue and red colored metal to the face of another enemy. the last one. the team, from wherever they were standing, relaxed a little and looked around at all the casualties. tony and natasha had managed to take care of the leader, and steve looked over at you from his protective stance and grinned proudly. but his smile abruptly disappeared when he saw you fall back down. he noticed a small pool of blood collecting around your torso and rushed to your aid.

“tony, (y/n)��s wounded too! get the jet and get her inside. i’ll get bucky,” steve said hurriedly. tony landed shortly after and told friday to bring the jet down to your coordinates. steve looked down at you and let his hand caress the top of your head lightly before speaking again. “hang in there, kid, we’ll take care of you.”

you tried to make out his figure leave, and eventually run, to where bucky was lying to bring him aboard. you couldn’t really see him, though, because your vision was beginning to blur and your ears had started to ring. you attempted to keep your eyes open to see tony press a tech device to your wound and you winced, eyes squeezing shut tightly. all at once, you stopped hearing tony’s scrambled words, muscles around your face and body going completely numb. then, you succumbed into full darkness and so did everyone and everything around you.

the next time you opened your eyes, it was to a dimly lit operating room. your visual acuity quickly adjusted as your eyes kept bouncing around the different light bulbs, and then you turned your head to the right. you saw bucky peacefully sleeping, a patch adorning the top of his shoulder and an iv scaling up to the actual bag containing the medicine. you then raised your head a little to see that your clothes had been changed to some medical shorts and an oversized t-shirt. you knew then that it had been wanda who had helped, seeing as the band displayed on the shirt was her favorite. next, you turned to the left, and this time, you saw the back of a male figure. after careful study and concentration, you realized it was bruce.

“bruce?” you voice came out in a hoarse and cracked whisper. but it was loud enough for bruce to turn around and gleam at you.

“(y/n)! i see you’re awake, can i get you anything?” he took off his glasses and set them down next to some documents and walked over to you. you nodded weakly and shakily asked for some water, making an effort to get up from the bed but stopped after you felt a sharp pain take over the left side of your abdomen. you winced and let out a painful groan, and bruce instantly took a hold of your arm as his other hand reached around your back to steady you.

“careful, you’re hurt.”

“what happened, exactly?” you wondered, voice starting to come back to normal. by now, you were properly seated along the edge of the bed with your feet unsteadily planted on the ground. once bruce saw that you were stable enough to not fall, he allowed himself to pour water from a pitcher into a glass that had both been on your side table. you took the glass into your shaky hands and brought the rim up to your lips, relishing the hydration it brought to your dry mouth. you swigged it rather quickly, and bruce took it back and set it down before answering your question.

“well, you were on a mission, from what steve tells me. they brought you and bucky to me as soon as they could. you were stabbed, kiddo. i patched you up and took out your iv about an hour ago.”

your lips parted and let your jaw open a little in a surprised motion. you had a knife, at one point in your fight, plunged into you? you didn’t even feel anything. your head started to throb now that you were fully awake, and you could feel the pain more clearly.

“you’re strong, you know,” his voice brought you back to him. it was reassuring, gentle, just like you knew bruce was. “all of you guys are.”

you smiled at him and reached out to touch his hand, and squeezing it lightly. he pulled you into a hug, and you accepted it kindly, acknowledging the help and most importantly the presence of one of your best friends. when you pulled back, he saw you grimace as another shot of pain spread across your abdomen. he asked you if you desired to go to your room, and after you said yes, he was quick in his efforts to completely stand you up and off the bed. his hand was holding one of yours, and the other was on your back like before, but just as you were beginning to walk, another voice spoke.

“i can take you. if you allow me.”

your eyes diverted in the direction of the voice it came from, and you landed on a pair of sharp blue orbs. stopping dead in your tracks, you found your mouth becoming dry again. his eyes pierced into your own, and you couldn’t find any word combination that would possibly make sense. you looked at bruce, as did he, and you found yourself nodding. you turned back to see loki all stood up and heading over to where you were standing. since bruce was holding you from the right, loki let his hand slip around your waist on the other side, a few goosebumps forming around your body at the contact. the other hand, reached to take yours in his and held it strongly. you started walking again, at first slowly, but once you got the hang of your own legs again, it became much easier for the both of you.

the walk to your room was silent, but not awkward. he grip on your waist was sturdy, but gentle and whenever you let out huffs of pain, he would stop and allow you to rest for a while. eventually, you reached your door, and he let go of your hand to open it.

“may i?” loki inquired. you simply nodded again, and he led you in. when you saw the arrangement of pillows and blankets that awaited your arrival, it took you aback. you looked at him before asking, “did you do this?”

he stared at you for a few seconds, enough time for you to feel butterflies crawling around, and nodded.

during your entire stay at the tower, you couldn’t really deny the way you saw loki. it wasn’t anything deep, just a simple, growing attraction towards him. when you first arrived, loki was being detained after literally destroying the entire city, so his attitude towards you was hostile. but you found him handsome, despite his rude behavior, and his snappy comments and witty banter made the emotion within you much stronger. over time, you tried your best to be nice to him, to really get to know him unlike the majority of your team. no matter how many times loki shut you out of his life, you didn’t take it personal and continued to be your happy and cheery self when you saw him.

over time, loki stopped fighting to keep you out, and he switched from being rude to acting annoyed. you viewed this as a win and didn’t delve too much into far more personal problems to keep him from shutting you out again. despite you promptly sticking to this ideology, you couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t speak to you as often as he did these past few weeks. it was strange, but then again, it’s loki, you thought.

god, but now, he does this? watches you for who knows how long while you’re in the middle of a drug-induced trance? offers to take you to your room, which apparently he’s arranged to fit your commodity, and holds you so perfectly? it’s all too much for you, the way he makes you feel, but even though you try to push the thought away, it bombards once more.

one of your legs gives out, and you almost, almost fall to the ground. his free hand reached over to grab the other side of your hip to hold you, tightly squeezing the soft muscle that was there. he stilled, watching you intently to see if you were alright and looking for any signs of severe pain. you felt his gaze on you, but you didn’t look up, fully knowing that if you did, you’d give out again. instead, you looked down at your oversized clothes and focused on the design.

“let me get you to bed, so you can rest. can i do that?” his tone was caring, nursing even. his voice was silky, intoxicating your senses more than you liked. you wanted him to talk forever and listen to him rant about endless topics that were running through his mind. but right now your well being prevented you from doing that so you simply muttered, “please.”

he moved so he was behind you, his hands moving along the fabric of your clothes so they didn’t separate from your waist. he pushed you gently and guided you to your side of the bed, eventually letting his hands slide off gradually from your sides as you sat. you missed his touch as soon as it left. and he missed touching you.

as you scooted up so your head could lay on the soft, cushioned pillow, loki removed some other ones that he deemed unnecessary to your comfort. then, he grabbed the folded blanket he placed at the foot of the bed and unfolded it over you. immediately you nuzzled into it and took in the scent that it gave off, and you could’ve sworn that you recognized it. loki noticed it, and he let his mind wander to the night he took care of you sleeping, how you’d done the same exact thing to the smell of his cardigan. it sent him into a frenzy, stomach erupting into fluttering butterflies, hands turning clammy, and pinkish heat coloring his cheeks. how was it possible, he thought, that you made him feel like this. he didn’t notice how long he had observed you for, his eyes raking up your body and wishing nothing more than to embrace it once and for all. to feel the warmth of your hugs, and to ease your pain, even if it would be for a brief moment. his eyes continued traveling up towards you face, and when he finally reached your eyes, he found yours already looking at him.

“you can take a seat over there if you’d like?” you questioned him. you nudged with your head at a sofa that was behind him, and he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked back to look at it. he turned back around and asked, “you want me to stay?”

“yeah, i kinda do. you don’t have to obviously,” you stopped mid sentence as a new wave of pain rushed through, grimacing. as it passed, you continued, “but it’d be nice.”

of course he was going to stay. he knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted to. he wanted to take care of you, nurse you in every possible way he could so you could dance animatedly again. so you could fall asleep in the common room, reading your favorite novel and cuddle his sweater. and he wanted you. so without much hesitation this time, he offered you a warm, kind smile and made his way to the sofa and settled in. you, on the other hand, adjusted so your legs were folded but your back was still on the bed to avoid hurting yourself. it was an uncomfortable position, but you weren’t one to complain. you stayed there looking at the ceiling and counted the little glow in the dark stars that tony had glued for you. all the while you could feel a strong gaze look at you, but you were too afraid to say something or even look over. about ten minutes passed with utter silence, the sounds of breaths being exhaled exempt.

“you could’ve died.”

“we all could’ve.”

“yes, but you could’ve died.” he regretted enhancing the word as soon as he spoke it. had he said too much? gone too far? he saw you shift your focus from the stars to his face, confusion written all over it. he didn’t look away, though, as embarrassing as it was for him.

“i thought you didn’t like me,” you remarked. loki scoffed and rolled his eyes before returning them toward you. “this has nothing to do with liking you, human.”

you chuckled at this, the rumbling of your chest sending another low shot of pain. “then what does it have to do with?”

he turned away and focused on your tiny bookshelf in the corner of your dorm instead. “taking care of you,” he answered faintly. at this, you’re features relaxed. the smallest smile began to tug at your lips, eyes beginning to sparkle with some sort of affection towards the god.

“ah, so you like me.”

loki laughed lightly at your reply, but mostly to hide the nervousness his voice might convey if he spoke. he found it stunning; how you effortlessly made him feel worthy of kinship. another, shorter, ripple of silence took over, but you were the one to break it this time.

“can you take care of me?” the words hit him like a punch in the stomach, and almost instantly his mind started running wild once more. every phrase that appeared to be coherent was not anymore. he looked at you, thinking about how innocently you had voiced your words, how genuine you felt them.

“loki?”

“hm?” he pretended not to have heard you, pretended to be lost in some other thought that wasn’t you.

“can you stay here tonight?”

never in his life did loki imagine he’d be watching over an injured midgardian. he also never imagined for them to be you. “of course, i don’t mind,” he swiftly responded. he mentally scolded himself for answering so fast and at how needy he probably sounded. nevertheless, any thought of embarrassment disappeared from his mind when you wholeheartedly smiled at him. you thanked him, and let your eyes close naturally. your head had relaxed completely against the pillow and your arms were entangled in the fuzzy blanket. you spoke, for one last time that night, and groggily whimpered, “g’night, loki.”

for the third time, loki was studying yet another one of your most vulnerable forms. it left him at ease knowing that nothing could ever harm you as long as he was there. and he was starting to realize in much greater depth, that there was nothing in this broken world that he wouldn’t do for you. to make you happy; to keep you safe. when he finally replied, it was mainly for him to hear it only.

“g’night, (y/n).”

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hamburgerhelpersotherhand · 5 years ago

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Almost Fate P1

Forty Quinn x Reader

Warnings: Death of a textbook, I wrote a swear and drinking.

Notes: This was requested. Honestly, you can just skip to any of the ~ if you’re not interested in me dragging the story. I like Forty but I also get carried away.

You started your morning off poorly.

For one, your alarm clock had failed to go off. For what reason? You didn’t know. All you did know was that you were late for your class.

You grabbed your bag, stuffed some important-looking papers in and shoved your text book on top of it all. The zipper had become stuck but you continued your rush throughout your dorm-room anyway.

Your legs felt sore as you ran across the campus to reach your classroom. Luck was definitely not on your side as you found the door locked.

You knew this was a risk. Your professor locks the door after attendance because they’re an asshole.

No—no, no... it’s not their fault. This is your fault. You always made it to class by the skin of your teeth; it was about time you’d learn your lesson and, hopefully in the future, realize you have to wake up at a decent time.

With the end of the semester fast approaching and no other classes left in your day, you thought: “I should probably finish my homework.” Having something to hand in next class could help with today’s late incident.

But as you swung your bag over to peer inside, your textbook in-turn swings itself into the nearest and dirtiest puddle you could imagine.

You stand there for a moment as the water seeps into the pages of the textbook.

You just stand there. And stare.

Did that really just happen?

After a moment or so to recollect yourself and calm the fire burning beneath your skin, you grab the textbook like a bear catching some salmon. But, you know, with your very-much-human hands.

Despite it all, you remain calm on the outside. Your heart is racing as you shake the textbook, wanting to get as much water off of it as possible. It’s becoming tedious.

Lucky for you, you know how to remedy this particular situation, so you dump the textbook into the nearest trash bin.

You secure your bag on your shoulder, take a deep breath, and make your way back to your dormitory.

In the room, you find nothing has changed since you rushed out. Your duvet is nowhere in sight, you left scattered papers on the floor, and a pile of dirty shirts sits on the end of your bed.

Oh how you miss the days you lived with your mother.

Beep Beep.

Oh. You’re also pleasantly surprised to find your phone still on your nightstand. Without wasting any more time, you drop your bag and make your way to your phone.

The notification reads:

<F/N>

Meet us at Jerry’s!! @ 7 pm

Jerry’s? What the hell is Jerry’s? You prod your friend a little more, trying to get your hands on an address.

The greatest thing to happen thus far? An instant reply with a place to be. Thank god for that.

A party seems like the best place to get your mind off of things, but you feel hesitant and wonder if studying whatever papers you shoved into your bag seemed like a smarter choice...

Oh well! Seeing your girlfriends is more appealing anyway.

You’re lost.

After the taxi dropped you off at the wrong address, you had to search for it on foot yourself.

You walked around with your phone out, searching for this apartment building... but this street had none.

Did your friend really just give you the wrong address? How could you be so stupid as to not double-check?

Yoink!

Some stranger with a baseball cap decides to run by. They’re fast as they grab your purse along the way and you find yourself spinning before hitting the ground hard. Your phone slips out of your grasp and slides across the pavement.

“HEY!” You shout towards the already disappearing figure. And there goes your keys and wallet.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! This is fine.

You’re accepting that this just happened, despite how angry you fucking are at this very moment.

You stand up, brush the dirt off your skirt and make your way to your phone.

You regret picking it up because you’re now faced with broken glass and a barely readable screen.

Going home now is ridiculous, but there’s no way you’re rubbing fingers on this device to try and get to this stupid party.

There’s a glowing sign in your vicinity that catches your attention.

You step through the doors of the building with the glowing sign, which so happened to be a very clean looking bar, and made your way to the bartender with a mission.

You pat the wooden counter with your hand. “Do you have a landline I can use?”

“No, sorry.” He replies.

Damn it.

You check your pockets. Or, well... you don’t have pockets, but you do have a secret hiding spot.

Your hand slips into your bra and you find yourself with 2 dollars.

“What can I get with this?” You ask as you sit down at a stool. You’ve clearly never been in a bar before.

The bartender looks you up and down before reluctantly turning around.

“Come here often?” An unfamiliar voice slips into the scene.

You turn your head to the right and smile. “Only when I need to make a call.”

“You don’t have a phone?”

You drop the broken device onto the counter. “Not anymore.”

“I guess that eliminates asking for your number then.” He takes a sip of his drink.

You force a laugh and shake your head. “Funny.”

A glass of water is set in front of you. You can’t help but sigh. Pitiful.

The stranger signals something to the bartender, but you don’t pay it any attention. You’re already taking your glass of water to one of the booths, not forgetting the broken phone.

The stranger finishes his drink with a swig.

The booth is soft and you’re now the most comfortable you’ve been all day.

The water is room temperature, but who really cares anymore? Definitely not you.

“Heyy!” The stranger from before makes his way into your booth. He sets down two identical drinks. “Here’s a drink. Because I’m such a sweetheart, it’s on me.” He’s smiling innocently.

Has this guy ever heard of personal space?

You take a moment to look at him before saying what’s on your mind. “I appreciate the gesture, really. But I don’t even know you.”

“The name’s Forty!” He instantly replies. “Now you have to say your name, as goes a normal greeting.”

“Oh, is that how it works?” You’re being sarcastic now, bordering on playful with your smile.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. I have talked to a lot of people before.” And so is he.

“My name is Y/N.” You look down at the drink in front of you and then back into his eyes.

“I didn’t put anything in it, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He states. “Ask the bartender if you still doubt this pretty face.” Now he’s exaggerating a frown.

You have to admit, he’s got an interesting aura to him and you can’t help but drag your drink closer to yourself.

Forty smiles happily and rests his cheek on his fist.

“So, Y/N. What brings you to this particular bar on this particular night?” He asks.

“Well, Forty. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.” For this, you’re gonna need a couple more drinks.

Time is going by quickly, but you’re too dissociated with the world around you to notice. Realistically, it was probably only 11 pm at night, but you wouldn’t know.

Forty was fun to talk to. You two chatted it up with some drinks, talking about your day and eventually talking about Forty’s day.

“I started off my morning like any other... rolling off my bed and probably bitching about it.” You couldn’t help but subtly laugh. Forty was the type to appreciate it, though. He made these remarks purposefully. “Then I got myself some—“

“Green juice? That stuff you mentioned liking earlier?” You continue for him.

“Yes, exactly. Wow, we’re already thinking alike.” He gazes at you for a moment before continuing. “Green juice. Yeah, I get myself some green juice to start off. Breakfast was kind of lame, I think I had something with spinach in it.”

You take a sip of your drink as you lazily watch him.

“Then I made my way to the whole foods store as it opened for the day. Without me, the place would totally fall apart.” He’s sounding very confident about his position there. “My sister works there too. She’s like an aspiring chef.”

“That’s cool.” Your head is becoming heavier and heavier as he speaks.

“Then I called my dad, hoping he’d pick up. Took me about 7 tries but he eventually did.” That confidence he had is starting to slip. “Didn’t like the proposal I had for my next project.”

You can tell he’s feeling hurt, but you can barely hold your head up. “It’s gonna be.. okay.” You eventually manage to mumble out.

Forty is watching you intently. He seems perfectly fine, no swaying of the head or sleepiness in his eyes. The only indicator that he’s been drinking is his slightly slurred speech.

Oh! What’s that? That’s a weird feeling. Forty has his hand on your knee, but you only really felt it when it started to slide itself up.

“Y/N.” He’s eyeing you now. “Do you believe in fate?”

You don’t reply. Well, more like you can’t reply. You’ve had one too many drinks and your mouth feels numb.

“I think...” He scoots closer. “I think it’s fate that lead us here.”

“I... don’t know.” You finally reply to his question.

“You don’t have any money, am I right? I mean, you said it yourself, that guy with the baseball cap took your purse.”

You’re being silent again.

Forty takes out folded up money and slides some onto the table. “It’s yours.” He states.

This feels wrong... but you really do need the money, now that your wallet was stolen. Getting yourself a new textbook and phone flips through your mind and taking the money doesn’t feel all that bad anymore. You reach out to pick it up. Before you can, he slides it back to himself.

“Ah, ah. But I want something in return.” He’s got a playful look in his eye and a shit eating grin. You’re feeling uneasy again.

“Kiss me.”

Is that it? You’ve kissed before, it’s hardly your first one... but intimacy means something to you. What does it mean for him?

You force your head up and straighten your back. Your vision blurs for a moment, but that’s hardly important right now. “Okay.”

Forty is still grinning and waiting. None of you pull a move and he can’t help but wander his eyes across you. “Are you going to do it?”

Oh, he expected you to engage? Okay... you can do this.

You lean forward slowly, trying not to stir your brain any more than you already have. He’s very still, only his eyes are moving along with you. One of your hands balances itself onto the table while the other hangs onto the booth’s seat. You’re leaning forward, getting closer.

Forty seems amused by your drunken state and naturally begins to lean in as well.

Your lips softly touch, but not much other happens.

You pull away from him and he happily boops your nose with his finger. “You’re a cute one.”

If your face wasn’t already flushed, it definitely is now.

“Do you need a ride home?” He suddenly asks innocently. “This place closes soon. I have a driver who could bring you home.”

You smile along with him. “That would be nice... Th-Thank you.”

Forty brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face before leaning in and giving you another peck on the lips. You didn’t pull away, so he continued.

You couldn’t quite tell how you felt over the situation, but you let it happen anyway. All you really felt was tired.

He suddenly gets a text message, halting his kisses and checks his phone. “Rides here. Raincheck?”

He wanted to see you again? Oddly enough, despite only meeting him that night, you were flattered and looking forward to it. “That sounds like a plan.”

You both get up and get ready to leave. You were kind enough to bring your empty glasses to the bartender, but Forty had to help you the entire way. Gravity seemed to be working extra hard tonight.

Forty helped you outside as you stumbled around like a child learning to walk. He imitated your awful drunken stance, but you took it lightly.

You both laughed at yourselves on your way to the car.

#forty quinn #forty quinn x reader #you #x reader #reader #fanfiction #love quinn #joe goldberg

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booklovingturtle · 6 years ago

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A Sweet Suli Spice (Kanej GVBB)

A/N: AH I can’t believe the time has finally come for me to share this with you all! I had so much fun working on this in the midst of the worst and most stressful semester of my life!

Shout out to my gang, Spice of Life, for making this so much fun bc they are all so talented and easy to work with! The Corporalki both understood my writing which made the revising/editing process really smooth. They made sure the fic you’re about to read is actually understandable. They read this more than once and in the midst of their own crazy lives which I will never not be thankfull for. The Materialki are ridiculously talented. You HAVE to click their links to check out their work. I know they all worked really hard on them and it totally paid off.

Also big thank you to @grishaversebigbang for hosting this and being a terrifying yet wonderful Master of Tides.

Please feel free to comment, reblog, or message me your reactions to this! It’s the first super long pic that I’ve ever written and I’m really proud of it. Okay enough rambling…ik y’all just want the fic!

Corporalki: @ninxszenik , @ethereal-magia

Materialki: @theartistwitch @wavesofinkdrops @xan-drei

Masterlist: Don’t have an Ao3 but I do have a master list of all my fics.

Summary: Inej Ghafa hasn’t seen her family in four years. Not since she’s been taken. Now that it’s been so long since she’s seen them, Inej is scared and nervous to go back. One night, while sitting on the rooftop, Kaz asks her to teach him Suli. That inspires Inej to fight her nerves and finally find her family. She asks Kaz to go home with her and he takes this opportunity to learn more about her and her people. Once home, Inej is faced with a guilt of her past, the fear of family’s reactions, and the hope of finally being ghar (home).

The heart of Suli culture flowed with spice-flavored blood and beat to the sound of performance drums. It hummed through Inej’s body every time she whispered her native language to herself under Tante Heleen’s ring-clad fist. She stored the precious words so deep inside of her that she feared the garbled sounds of Kerch would drown out their melodious syllables.

Once she was under the employment of the Dregs, she would practice Suli as often as she could. Some nights she would stare into the mirror, barely recognizing the woman in front of her as she spoke in Suli to herself. She would even write letters to her family in the beautiful script they had taught her. Those letters were always burned before the ink could dry. The content didn’t matter to her. She didn’t write them for the sake of filling a paper with impossible hopes and dreams. She wrote them because she feared losing her mother tongue. It was an irrational fear that she had never been able to vocalize to anyone before. Well, at least before Kaz came into the picture. He had asked her one night if she could teach him Suli and noticed, as he always did, the change in her face at the mention of it.

“I understand if you don’t feel comfortable teaching me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Kaz reached out to place his hand on her leg.

Inej watched his pale, scarred knuckles rest on her knee. They had made their way up to the roof of the Crows Club, as they usually did when Inej was home. Whatever time wasn’t spent up there was used to carefully test the idea of being together.

“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable. It’s that…” Inej’s words wandered away from her. She watched the way his thumb moved along the inside of her knee. It was such a small touch for someone else; for a different boy and a different girl that touch was meaningless. For them, it was everything.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“No. I want to. I’ve spent so many years away from Ravka and most of my people. I only ever get to speak Suli when I’m working with the Dregs or helping people escape a sinking slave ship. For years, I was afraid that one day, I would wake up and forget the language entirely.”

“Is that possible?” His deep voice sounded raspy but soothing against the black night. “Not to lose it in one day, but for you to just forget Suli that easily?”

Inej nodded slowly. “I already have.” It broke her heart to admit it. “When I first arrived to Ketterdam, everything came to me in Suli. Dreams, thoughts, speech. I had to learn to filter my words into Kerch. Now I find that more and more of my thoughts and dreams come in Kerch than they do in Suli.”

Kaz was silent for a few heartbeats. Inej felt as if she had stripped herself bare in front of the entire Barrel. It was odd to feel that way around Kaz now. He had seen and touched parts of her that no one else was ever given permission to. Kaz knew her like no other person could, yet this was a part of her she hadn’t accepted about herself, let alone explained to him. There was an intimacy that came with talking about her culture that made her feel exposed.

“The language is not the only thing that ties you to the culture, Inej. You will always be Suli as long as you carry it in your heart.”

Tears surprised Inej by burning the back of her eyelids. “Come home with me,” she spoke through the lump in her throat.

He looked taken aback. “Home? You mean Ravka?”

She nodded. Inej had felt confident the first time she asked the question, but the way Kaz was looking at her now made her doubt her request.

“Yes. To Ravka. To my family. I-I’ve been thinking about going back for a while now. I even asked Nina for her help in tracking my family down.”

“I didn’t know that,” Kaz’s eyebrows came together in a way that meant he was already calculating things. She recognized that look: scheming face.

“You may be Dirtyhands on this island, Brekker, but that doesn’t mean you’re privy to everything east of Kerch.”

Kaz grinned wickedly. “Maybe not east, but we all know that I was able to conquer the North quite easily.” This was also a new side of Kaz that she had gotten to know over the last few months: one that was playful without an edge of cruelty attached to it. The air around them changed and Inej no longer felt the sadness that usually came with thinking about home.

“We conquered the Ice Court together. With the help of some friends, which you had to beg for help from, if I remember correctly.”

Kaz looked appalled. “I never begged.”

“So you admit that you did need our help.”

“Need is a strong word, Inej. The only things I need in this world are food, air, and you.”

It was her turn to look speechless. Kaz was rarely ever so direct with her about his feelings for her. She knew, of course, that he cared for her as she did for him. It was one thing, however, for her to know it and another for him to be so forward about it.

“And because I need you, Inej, my answer is yes. I want to go to Ravka with you. I want to go everywhere and anywhere with you. We’ll conquer the world together if that’s what you want. I want to be wherever you need me to be.”

Kaz’s words echoed in her head. She would hear them every time she thought of home. Her real home. Thanks to Nina’s help, Inej was sailing to Ravka within months with Kaz by her side.

The Wraith soared through the water and, in what felt like one night’s rest, Inej’s crew was docking The Wraith in Os Kervo’s main dock. From the stern of her ship, Inej could hear the sound of her crew talking and moving. The water lapped against the underside of her ship, gently rocking her reflection back and forth.

Inej prayed in Suli as she strapped Sankt Petyr and Sankta Alina to her forearms. She tried to quell the anxious shake of her hands while Sankta Marya and Anastasia were readjusted on her thighs. Sankt Vladimir fit snugly into her boot, making Inej wonder what her mother would say at the sight of her in Fabrikator-made boots, not Suli slippers. Sankta Lizabeta with her rose-engraved handle sat at her belt, hidden under the folds of her black Suli wrap.

When not in front of a roaring crowd, the Suli were a reserved people. Despite Tante Heleen’s disgusting portrayal of her culture, Inej still loved the vibrant colors of Suli dupattas and embroidered kurtas. When she felt the jerk of the anchor settling into place, Inej realized how long it had been since she dressed in chiffon and silk. She didn’t recognize the Suli woman staring in the mirror staring back at her. For one, the sleeves were tailored to be much longer than she would have normally needed during Ravkan summers. However, she didn’t want anyone to see the network of scars that decorated her skin from years of violence. The second thing that threw off her reflection was the way she’d styled her hair. Though she performed with her hair in a braided coil, Inej knew her mother loved it best when it was wild and loose. Finally, the last time she had seen herself like this was when she was still an innocent girl who yearned to grow into a talented acrobat.

Inej was now so fundamentally different from that child. If anything, the dupatta she was wearing felt like a costume.

Knocking forced her to turn away from her damned reflection.

“Adara aaen,” Inej called out, already knowing who it would be before he stepped into the room.

“I assume that means ‘come in,’” Kaz’s slim figure filled her doorway. He was dressed in an inmanulate suit as usual, gloved hands resting on top of his crow’s head cane and a smirk on his face.

“What?” Inej hadn’t realized the words had come out in Suli instead of Kerch. It was rare for her to mix the languages up like that. The fact that it had even happened spoke of her nerves. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to translate everything into Suli to get some last minute practice.”

Kaz’s arrogant look slipped and he shook his head. “No need to apologize. I love hearing you speak Suli.”

Inej forced a smile to her face. “If the Saints allow it, soon that’s all you're going to hear.” She looked out the port window, watching the lazy rays of sun dance along the sky. Somehow the Ravkan sky seemed to shine brighter than the Kerch one.

“Don’t slip away from me,” Kaz prompted her gently. She realized that she had started to float off into her own thoughts, something she’d found herself doing more and more the closer they’d gotten to shore.

“Are you ready?”

“No. But I don’t think I ever will be.”

“We don’t have to do this, not if you don’t want us to. I’ll go and ask Getz to take The Wraith right back if you’ve changed your mind, or we can take a trip to Nina’s instead. Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you.”

Inej shook her head. “I might be terrified, but I want to do this. I just feel out of place in a Suli outfit after not having worn one in so long.” Her fingers pulled at one of the tightly knitted seams.

Kaz leaned his cane against the wall, closing the door behind him. He went up to Inej and turned her to face the mirror. “I don’t think your parents will be any less happy to see you if you wore a dupatta or a kefta or a sack. They’ll be too excited to see you.” Kaz’s arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her body into his. Inej felt his warm, solid chest against her back. She inhaled his calming smell, grateful for his presence.

“In Suli, we have a saying for people who have betrayed their kind, who have disgraced them or turned their back on them. Kadema mehim. It’s the worst sort of punishment you could receive for your actions.” She shuddered at the thought of ever hearing those words said to her. Inej herself had only ever used them once.

“I am not the same little girl who was taken from them. They might realize that and see me as forsaken. As someone who has turned away from the Saints.”

Kaz brushed her hair off to one side to rest his head on her shoulder. Kaz’s reflection towered over Inej’s own in the mirror. His sable eyes looked stubborn and unwaveringly serious. “You are many things, Inej, but a traitor is not one of them. It’s true that you are not the same girl you were when they knew you. But they will see that you grew into a brave, strong woman who will stop at nothing to do what is right for the people she loves.

“They will see that you have fought against all the odds and have become an unstoppable force that they should feel blessed to have in their lives. They will love you, Inej. It is impossible for them to not love you.”

This time she didn’t stop the tears that slid down her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath and placed a hand against his jaw. The sharp line was lined with light stubble, but that didn’t stop her from running a finger against its curve. Her fingers traced the scar beneath the right edge of jaw, thinking about the other scars that peppered his skin. Many of those scars earned alongside her.

“They will love you, too, Kaz.” Inej knew that he was almost as nervous as she was to meet her family, though he would never voice it out loud.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He kissed her cheek and pulled away. “They might think of me as the man who corrupted their daughter.”

She shook her head. “No, they will think of you as the man who has made their daughter too happy to put into words.”

Kaz stared at his gloves, refusing to make eye contact. “Will they? Have I?”

It was her turn to reach out to him. Inej wrapped her hands around his neck. “Yes and yes. You have made their daughter happier than she ever thought possible.”

Kaz’s hands tentatively grabbed her waist. His eyes were on her lips but he didn’t move. Not until she did. Inej leaned up, catching his mouth with hers. The sounds of the crew and the ocean were replaced by the sound of her heart in her chest. Kaz was always gentle with her. His kisses were soft like the petals of spring and sweet like caramel. He held her like there was nothing that could ever separate them.

Inej sighed, melting into his every touch. It was impossible to feel anxious or scared in his arms. His fingers pressed into her silk wrap and Inej released a gasp. Kaz took that opportunity to take everything she gave him. Her skin suddenly burned. The sweetness was still there, dancing with a fiery spice that surprised her. They had rarely ever held each other this long without the waters swallowing him up.

His hands buried themselves in her long hair. Inej reached into his jacket, feeling the muscles beneath his white shirt. Kaz then broke away, breathing hard and shuddering. His face was flushed and his lips looked deliciously swollen.

Inej, realizing what they had done, began to apologize for having been too forward.

“No. It wasn’t you. Believe me, it wasn’t that.” Kaz shook his head, gloved hands holding hers against his chest.

“But if it wasn’t...why did you stop?” Inej could feel a blush spreading across her cheeks.

“I really didn’t want to,” Kaz’s gaze made goosebumps dance across her skin. “But we need to leave soon if we want to make it to Ivets before dark. And to be quite honest with you, Wraith, I’m not sure how far we would have gone this time. I really didn’t want to stop.”

Inej laughed. “Neither did I. It’s okay. We’ll have time another day. We have the rest of our lives to do that and so much more.”

“Captain,” Getz called from outside her door. “The crew’s settled and waiting for your orders.”

“Duty calls, Wraith.” Kaz’s smile was as sharp as ever. He adjusted the tie she’d crinkled.

Inej pulled her shoulders back, stepped through the doorway and told her crew that they could do as they pleased for a few hours. Within the next hour, she and Kaz were on their way to Ivets, the city where Nina had informed Inej her family would be performing for the next week. Every road they passed brought her closer and closer to her family. Inej could hardly contain her excitement and nervousness. While passing a crowded marketplace, Inej almost barreled into a group of children running across the street.

“Whoa, Inej,” Kaz called as he held her back from stepping into the walkway. “Careful. I know you’re excited to see your family, but even I think it’s a little much to trample a few children along the way.”

“Could you imagine that after getting back to Ketterdam, the Wraith and Dirtyhands voyaged all the way to some unknown city in Ravka just to run over a few children?” she joked, though her voice wavered enough for Kaz to notice.

“When you put it like that...” Kaz’s eyes had the same spark in them that always appeared right before a job. “While that does sound tempting, I think my bloodthirsty reputation will survive despite having let them live.”

By sunset, Inej could hear the pounding of Suli drums. They had passed through the heart of Ivets’ main city before reaching the boundary of an open field. A golden tent heavily embroidered with thick swirls rose high over the clearing. Inej’s breath caught in her throat at the familiar sound of Suli folk music floating outside of its flowing entrance. Sweet curling smoke filled the air with the smell of fried dough, glazed fruits, and…

The smell of her family gatherings to celebrate the Saints. She envisioned her mother, kind and beautiful, carrying baskets full of fresh vegetables for dinner. Her father, strong and brave, chopping potatoes alongside his wife. Her cousins fighting over plates of food. Her aunts handing out sticky sweets. Her uncles setting up place settings.

The music reminded her of the first time she stood on a tightrope. The bottomless drop that yawned beneath her and the open sky that blanketed her. How it felt to be covered in performance glitter and to curl her hair to fall around her round cheeks. She remembered scrapping her hands on trees, trying to beat her cousins to the top. How it felt to look over the Ravkan landscape and see nothing but endless opportunities.

After years of darkness, years of bloodshed, years of the staccato sounds of Kerch, Inej Ghafa was finally home.

Home...and rooted to her spot at the edge of the circus grounds. Ravkans stood in line, waiting to be let into the performance tent; the same tent that she had spent countless days in during the early years of her life. A bronze-skinned man stepped out of the tent, dressed in loose fitted black pants and a thick, colorful coat. His voice was deep and stern as he hollered the rules of the performance out into the crowd of people.

Inej stared in wonder, unsure about who the man was. Chaacha Jilé was the one who used to tame the crowds before they entered the performance area. The man at the entrance was not her uncle.

“Hanzi,” the name came to her with a jolt.

Inej was suddenly flying. Or at least that’s what it felt like as the grass was crushed beneath her racing feet. One minute, she was standing beside Kaz and the next, she was running straight to her cousin, pushing through the crowd of guests until she stood at the very front.

“Hanzi,” she said again, this time facing the man whom she now recognized.

Her cousin’s words died on his lips and he froze, arms limp at his sides as looked at her. “Inej?”

A sob escaped her. She could hear the sound of the crowd’s confusion but she didn’t care.

“Hanzi,” was all that she could say.

His face broke into a smile. A roaring shout came from him as he yelled in Suli. “Inej! Inej is here! Masi Calla! Chaacha Baraz! Inej is home!”

Tears streamed down her face at the sound of her parents’ names: Calla and Baraz. Mama and Papa. Inej waited anxiously as the longest few seconds of her life passed. She could see from the sliver opening in the flaps a flurry of motion. She caught her name be repeated and questions thrown. Hanzi shouted again, tears in his own eyes.

Inej’s whole world froze as Mama and Papa came through the entrance. They stepped out, first looking at her cousin with an agonizing look of hope and confusion on their faces.

“Mama. Papa.”

They turned towards Inej as she called out to them. Her mother’s face was more wrinkled than it had been when she’d been taken. Her hair was still long and elegantly braided to the side. Her father’s beard was mixed with grays where it was once solid black. He was clutching his wife’s shoulder, eyes landing on his daughter for the first time in four years.

“Inej.” He didn’t say her name like Hanzi had. He said it with such certainty and conviction that it made Inej’s knees give out from under her.

Before her body could fully hit the ground, her parents’ arms were around her. She buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around her father’s waist.

“Esfir,” her mother whispered in her ear. Inej couldn’t describe the relief and joy that flooded through her at the word.

Esfir was Suli for ‘little star.’ Late at night, they used to tuck her under her covers with a kiss. Her mother used to say that Inej was her little star and her father would explain that she was their guiding light.

Inej didn’t know how long they sat in the damp grass, crying and hugging and whispering to each other.

“I’m home,” she would say.

“You’re home.” One of them would repeat.

“I prayed to all of the Saints that you would find your way home to us.” Her father said.

“They called us fools. Said that we would never see you again. They told us that you were taken too far for us to ever reach you again,” her mother cried.

“Never,” Inej promised. “I will never be too far to come back home. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true. My heart is here.”

After some time, Inej realized that the rest of her family had come outside of the tent. Night had fallen and the crowd was now gone. Her older cousins looked as if Sankt Juris had come down to blow his blue flames. Disbelief filled their faces. Some of her younger cousins looked just as shocked, though less afraid of her. Inej also noticed the soft coos of the newest editions to her family. One toddler who must have born within the first year she was at the Menagerie. Two more who looked as though they came along while she was in service with the Dregs.

The Dregs. Kaz.

Inej pulled away from her parents, realizing who else she had forgotten about for the second time that night.

“Mama. Papa. I didn’t come here alone,” her words scratched against her throat. She hadn’t realized the tears had dried out her voice until that moment.

Inej turned around, knowing that Kaz would have waited as long as she needed him to. He still stood towards the edge of the trees. Inej called out to him in Kerch.

Kaz came forward, trying his best not to look like Dirtyhands under the cover of night with his crow’s head cane and thick gloves. Though he no longer needed them with her, Inej knew that he wasn’t ready to hug every member of her teary-eyed family.

Kaz stood beside her. Inej took his hand in hers and squeezed tightly.

“This is Kaz.” Inej had practiced this speech so many times in her head. She had carefully racked her brain for the proper words in Suli to say what she needed to say.

“Kaz and I...we have been through too many things together to explain in one night. Most of the last four years have been cruel and lonely. Kaz has been one of the few good things to come into my life since I was fourteen,” her words choked off. “I ask that you be kind to him and embrace him as a part of my life. He has saved it in many ways over the years. In some ways, it is thanks to him that I am here.”

Her father stood from where he was still crouched in the grass. He approached Kaz, looking more serious than Inej had ever seen him look in her life. He stood a few inches shorter than Kaz, but still managed to look down at him.

“Do you speak Suli?” Baraz asked him.

“No-” Inej was cut off by Kaz.

“Not fluently, but I am learning.” Kaz shocked her by responding in fluid Suli instead of Kerch. He gave her side-eyed look, clearly enjoying the shocked look on her face.

Her father nodded. “Then I can thank you properly. For helping my daughter return to us.”

Kaz bowed his head. “Inej is the wisest, most determined person I have ever met. She would have found her way back to you with or without me.”

Baraz laughed, “Esfir is just like her mother in that way. Nothing stands in the way of her and what she wants.”

Inej smiled in relief. “That is true. And right now, what I want is some stuffed peppers and goulash made the proper Suli way.”

Her mother laughed, standing to embrace Inej once again. “You can have whatever you would like, Inej.”

“My turn!” Hanzi called out from the cluster of cousins closest to her. Inej turned to find him now barreling towards her.

Inej froze for a second, not feeling entirely comfortable with the tight embrace. She tried her best to laugh through the rush of panic. It hadn’t even occurred to her until that moment how her homecoming would be full of physical touching that she wasn’t entirely ready for.

Her arms didn’t move from her sides, but at least she didn’t pull away until he did. Hanzi didn’t seem to register her tight shoulders.

“I can’t believe you’re really back, Inej! What took you so long? Adja has been driving me crazy. She thinks that she’s in charge now because she can do a handstand on the highwire, but now that you’re back, you can prove to her that you’re in charge. I even reminded her that you used to be able to do an entire double front routine on the high wire without a net.” While her older cousin may have gotten older, he still rambled half made up tales as though he hadn’t aged a day.

“I don’t even have the energy to explain how wrong that is,” Inej shook her head at her cousin’s infectious joy. Hanzi had always been one of her favorites because, no matter what, he could always tell some ridiculous story to make her laugh.

“First of all,” a female voice interjected, “I’ve been able to do a handstand on the high wire for years. Second, all I said was that you weren’t in charge, Hanzi.” Adja said from behind him. She was only two years younger than Inej, but she had been terrified of the high wire. While Inej had danced around it barefoot, Adja refused to step onto one.

“Come on, Nej. Remind Adja who the real master is!”

“No,” Calla stood in between her daughter and her nephew. “Inej has only been with us for a few minutes and already you are trying to get her in trouble,” her mother chided Hanzi.

Kaz chuckled from behind her. It was clear from his expression that, while he wasn’t able to understand all of their conversation, the sound of an upset mother seemed to be universally understood.

“Come, Esfir. We’re going to have a proper welcome dinner,” her mother nodded towards the rest of her family. “Disah and Remen, go to the Ivetan market…”

Inej allowed her mother to assign everyone their tasks while she looked back at Kaz. He was smiling, looking proud of her, but she couldn’t tell why.

“What?” she asked him in quiet Kerch.

“You didn’t pull away when he hugged you,” he truly looked proud of her. Inej looked towards Hanzi worriedly.

“No. I didn’t exactly hug him back.” It would have been a lie to act as though she wasn’t disappointed in her reaction to Hanzi’s embrace. It was an unexpected reality of what she had endured all those years ago. “Do you think they noticed?”

“He was too excited to have you back to notice,” Kaz shook his head. “That’s not the point. The point is that you didn’t pull away. It wasn’t easy, but you did it, Inej. You’re home and your family couldn’t be more happy to see you.”

She took a deep breath. She hadn’t even realized that her nervousness had started to creep up on her after Hanzi’s hug until now. For a while there, she had forgotten about all of her anxieties. Now that her family had split itself into their roles to prepare for her homecoming diner, she had a quiet moment to be reminded of them.

That was when Kaz, ever supportive and aware of how she was feeling, stepped in to ease her nerves. “Kaz, do you think I should tell them the truth?”

“You don’t owe anyone any explanations. You tell them as much as you want to. It’s your story to tell.”

Inej had known long before that night on the rooftop that she was in love with Kaz. She had known for quite some time. As she stared into his honest eyes, surrounded by the sounds of her family, Inej was reminded of how deep her love for Kaz Brekker went.

“What did I ever do for the Saints to bless me with you,” she wondered out loud.

It was hard to tell with the pale moonlight as her only source of light, but for a moment, Inej thought that she saw Kaz’s face blush. His gaze left her and landed on the starry Ravkan sky.

“I ask myself the same question about you every day that we are together, Inej.”

“Nej!” Adja yelled from the performance tent. “Masi Calla asked me to help you and your...friend...find new clothes.”

Inej looked down at her Suli dupatta. “What’s wrong with what we have on now?”

Adja eyed the Wraith and Dirtyhands with pursed lips. “You both look as though you’re going to a funeral. Tonight is a party, Nej. You need to be dressed in party clothes. Now let's go, Masi might cut the wire during our next performance if I don’t get you both dressed in time.”

Inej remembered how her mother used to fuss over her dirty silks when she came back inside from an afternoon spent playing outside. “You’re right. Mama would absolutely do something like that.”

“Where are we going?” Kaz asked her, keeping up with her hurried steps with his usual ease.

Inej glanced at him. “Oh, so you suddenly don’t speak Suli anymore?” They walked around the performance tent to the line of caravans far behind it.

Kaz smirked arrogantly. “I never said I did. Just that I was learning. You didn’t think that I was going to come and meet your entire family without at least attempting to familiarize myself with the language, did you? It’s not that difficult to memorize a few phrases here and there.”

She pushed him lightly with her shoulder. “How about on the boat? Were you faking then?”

Kaz shook his head. “Technically, I wasn’t faking. I know some words and phrases, but not everything. Not yet. Give me a few weeks with your family and I’ll be fluent.”

Inej rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, Brekker. My language is too poetic for a shevrati like you to con your way in that short amount of time. Memorizing a few parables is not the same thing as being able to use all the beautiful nuances we have.”

“It would be easier if I had some help from a beautiful and smart teacher.”

“You’re right. I think Hanzi would probably be willing to sign up.”

“It’s rude to speak in another language, you know,” Adja said from in front of them. The three of them finally stopped in front of Adja’s family caravan.

Kaz shot a glance at her cousin. Inej translated and he apologized in Suli.

“Not you,” Adja nodded towards Inej. “I meant Nej. She was always a quiet one, you know. At least you got her talking.”

Kaz nodded along pleasantly thought it was clear he didn’t understand. When Inej explained, his bitter coffee eyes looked amused.

“I wasn’t quiet, Adja. Hanzi was just usually screaming over me about nothing.”

Adja giggled and unlocked the door. “That is probably true. I was thinking, you should fit in my outfit from Sankta Day last year instead of just a normal dupatta. As for Ka-s,” she stumbled on his Kerch name, “He can borrow Papa’s performance kurta.”

Kaz looked somber, but didn’t argue. “Chaacha Micta used to make some interesting fashion choices,” Inej explained to him as her cousin went in search of the outfits.

“How so?”

Inej bit her lip, holding back laughter. “Let’s just say that he probably could take a few tips from Jesper.”

His eyes widened. “Inej-”

It was too late. Adja emerged from behind a curtain carrying multiple pieces of thick fabric. For Inej, she had a neatly folded Anarkali suit of rich burgundy. Sparkling gold embroidery lined the long, slightly flared skirt and traced the cuffs of the fitted sleeves. A light, white and gold wrap also came with the outfit. On top of it sat a pair of high heels that matched the wine-colored clothes. Inej took the clothes into her hands, feeling the soft yet firm fabrics that were saved for more festive clothing in her culture.

“It might be a little long for you,” Adja eyed Inej’s smaller frame. “But it will do.”

“Thank you, Adja.”

She shrugged off her cousin’s thanks. Her other hand still held Kaz’s outfit. He was standing dangerously still beside Inej. His face was blank of any reaction, but Inej could only imagine what was going through his head. While her outfit was designed with elegance and grace in mind, Kaz’s was made for a true showman. Or at least for a color blind one.

Chaacha Micta had a performance kurta that was radiant white with orange and green gems cascading down the sleeves. Sunset colored pants were folded to match the sparkling jewels. It was both bright and sparkly, two things Kaz hated in clothing.

“Dhanyavaad,” Kaz mimicked Inej’s Suli to thank Adja. Inej was reminded of how good of a liar he was because if she hadn’t known better, she would have thought Kaz looked almost excited to wear her uncle’s kurta.

Adja beamed, looking between the two. “I don’t think Chaacha Baraz or Masi Calla would be okay with me leaving you two in here alone to change but…” Her cousin broke off and shrugged. “If you brought, Ka-s all the way here, I have to assume that it is not the first time you’ve been left alone.”

Heat flooded Inej’s cheeks. She couldn’t meet Adja’s eyes when she nodded. “It’s okay. Mama and Papa won’t know if you don’t tell.”

Adja continued to look between them. It was the same look Nina had given them before Inej had actually opened up about her relationship with Kaz. A look that said that Adja could see something they couldn’t. She was used to getting that look from her friends or other Dregs, but it was a little unnerving to see that look in the eyes of someone she hadn’t seen in years.

“Just don’t take too long. Chaacha and Masi will seriously cut the rope if they find out about this,” she pointed between Kaz and Inej. She swiftly ran out of the caravan, giggling at Inej’s eye roll.

Once she was out the door, Inej’s focus was back on Kaz. His polite smile dropped with Adja out of sight.

Kaz spoke seriously, “Inej, you know that I care for you deeply. More than anything in this world, I care for you.”

Warmth filled her heart, but her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Because I care for you, I want your family to like me.”

“I already told you-”

“Yes, I know. I’m wonderful. A trickster god amongst men. But that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what is it?”

Kaz looked at her in disbelief. “Do you even have to ask me that question? This,” Kaz raised the clothes in his hands to meet her eye level. “I’ve never seen anything so…”

Laughter burst out from Inej. She quickly moved to cover her mouth with her hands, but there was no concealing the way her body shook from amusement.

“That is a traditional Suli kurta, Kaz. It’s an important part of my culture.”

He shook his head. “I have seen kurtas. This does not look like that. This looks like some nightmare Jesper and Nina would have designed.”

“Poor Dirtyhands is too insecure to wear something so dazzling,” Inej placed a hand on his cheek. She ran a finger down the sharp cut of his jawline. “I’m sure you’ll look great. Not as good as Chaacha would in it, but a close second.”

Kaz’s eyes held a playful fury. His ebony eyes only ever fixed on her that way. It was a look that promised both a punishment and sweet reward for her words.

“If the Dregs ever find out about this…”

A wicked smile broke onto her face. “I can’t imagine how they would. I keep all your secrets.”

“Don’t even think about telling them, Wraith.” One of Kaz’s arms found her waist.

“Jesper, on the other hand,” her fingers moved to run through his hair. “Jesper is a bit of a big mouth. If this somehow got to him, I don’t think there is any way of stopping him.”

“I can think of at least twelve different ways I could stop him with this kurta alone.” His face moved closer to hers.

Inej turned so his lips landed on her cheek. “No time for that, Brekker. We have to get dressed.”

He sighed and gave the bedazzled shirt a weary look. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, Inej, just remember this moment.” Before she could respond, Kaz gestured towards the room Adja had gone into to find the clothes. “I’ll change in there.”

Time and time again, Kaz reminded her of why she fell for him in the first place. He had seen every part of her and touched almost all of her, yet Kaz never made assumptions about her limits. No matter how far they had or hadn’t gone, Kaz always asked for permission. On the nights when all she could do was hold his hand, he never pushed her to go further. Even now, after what had happened on the boat and having had met her family, Kaz gave Inej the privacy she needed without hesitation.

With Kaz gone from her sight, Inej was left to unstrap her daggers and quickly dressed into Adja’s Anarkali suit. After a few minutes, Inej stopped hearing Kaz’s quiet cursing.

“I’m almost ready.” She called to him through the curtain.

He shuffled around on his side of the caravan. “This looks even worse than I imagined.”

Inej ignored him, debating whether or not to strap on her beloved blades for the feast.

“Inej?”

“I’m almost ready, you can come out.”

Kaz had been right. The kurta had looked worse than she had imagined. The shirt hung at little too loose from his slight frame, but the pants were too short for his tall stature. They stopped just above his ankles, showing a peak of his white socks.

“Oh.” Inej cringed. “You were not joking.”

Kaz looked at her intently. “You look beautiful, Inej.”

Inej had yet to see herself in the mirror, but Kaz’s reaction was all she needed to confirm what she had already suspected. Adja was slim like Inej but stood a few inches over Inej . The rest of her outfit fit as it was tailored to. The top complimented her figure while the bottom flared out into an elegant skirt that pooled around Inej’s feet more than she would have normally allowed. It wasn’t perfect, but she loved it regardless.

“Traditionally, I would have special Sankta Day earrings that have some sort of token to represent a Saint.” Inej absentmindedly tugged at her ears. “Though, I haven’t worn any earrings since leaving the Menagerie.”

His look softened. Kaz forgot all about his unfortunate attire. “Would you like to? I’m sure Adja would let you borrow hers.”

“The holes have closed by now. It’s okay. I don’t need them. I have these.” She slid Sankt Petyr, the dagger he had given her so long ago, into place. She tried to ignore the fact that it took her far less time to strap all seven of her blades into place than it had to properly dress herself in the Sankta Day skirt.

“I’ll tell Adja we’re ready.”

“Wait,” Kaz’s fingers intertwined with hers. He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a matingkia made of expensive gold and rich-colored stones. It was simple, as far as Suli headpieces went, with one clear diamond in the middle of a small ruby flower.

“Kaz,” Inej’s breath caught in her throat. “Where did you find this?” Her fingers curved delicately around the precious metal.

“A vendor in Ketterdam had a tent full of Suli jewelry. He has a Suli wife that makes all the items to sell.”

“Do you believe him?” It was more than possible that the vendor’s story was a ruse to get more money from gullible tourists visiting the island.

“I’ve met her.”

“You did?”

“Yes. When I asked her to make this one for you.”

The matingka felt heavier in her hand than it had moments ago. “You asked her to make this for me?” Inej tried to envision Dirtyhands entering a Kerch market to meet with an ederlly Suli woman. She thought of how long he must have spent picking the design, and then jewels to place in it.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered to him. “She’s clearly very talented.”

Kaz tried not to look too smug which was a change for him. “Only the best for my Wraith.”

“Sometimes we wear them for special holidays.” Inej debated whether or not to say the next part. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by making any assumptions. “These are traditionally given to Suli women by their father or husbands.”

She saw him nod nervously. “I know. The woman, Gintha, explained to me the tradition. She said fathers would give them to their daughters and pray that the Saints would give them wisdom as they grew into strong women.”

“Did she tell you why husbands give them to their brides?” She couldn’t deny the fear or eagerness that she felt waiting for his answer.

“To symbolize the love and respect he promises to show her every day after they are wed. The same love and respect that I have felt for you every day for too many years to count.”

Inej’s body was frozen with emotion. Love. Kaz loved her. He didn’t just love her. He respected her. Respected her boundaries and dreams and goals.

“Nej! Are you done yet?” Adja suddenly banged against the door of the caravan.

The reality of her situation flooded back to Inej. For a few moments, she had forgotten who she was. Where she was. Inej took the head piece, not bothering to hide her flustered look as she pushed Kaz back behind the curtain.

“Get out of those clothes. Hurry!” Kaz laughed and she realized how her words sounded. “No! That’s not what I meant. I mean change back into yours! My family will just have to deal with your Kerch suit during dinner.”

She rushed back to the door and let Adja in. “I’m almost ready.”

Adja looked her up and down. “It fits better than I thought. And Ka-s?”

“The clothes didn’t fit him so he’s changing back into his. Here,” she handed Adja the matingka. “Can you help me put this on?”

“Did he give this to you?” she pointed towards the curtain.

“Yes. Now help me put it on. I’ve never put one on myself. Papa only ever put it on me once.”

Adja waved her off. “It’s easy.” She spun Inej around and took a few hair pins from her own brown hair to fasten it into place. “There! Done! Just in time.”

Kaz walked into the room, looking much less miserable now that he was dressed in his own clothes.

“Tell her that her father’s wardrobe should be burned.”

“He says that he loved the kurta and is sorry that it didn’t fit,” Inej easily lied. “Also your tie is crooked again.”

He cursed under his breath and nervously put into place as her cousin spoke.

Adja beamed at her. “I don’t believe that’s true, but it doesn’t matter. Come on! Everyone is waiting for you.”

Inej’s stomach turned over nervously. She had been so overcome with emotions when she’d first greeted her family. Those emotions were starting to settle, but in their place grew the seeds of anxiety once again.

Inej and Kaz trailed behind Adja as they made their way back from the caravan section of their carnival to the performance area. Inej looked around the cool night air, keeping track of all the things that looked familiar and different at the same time.

She pointed to a smaller performance tent made of a thick white sheet. “What’s that?” she asked Adja.

“We started to tour with a second family about two years ago. Hanzi is engaged to the daughter of their paira vaala.” A breeze opened the flap of the white tent and Inej could see the bed of coals used for the paira vaala, or fire walker.

“Hanzi’s getting married?” Inej couldn’t imagine her cousin as she had last known him having a fiancé. He was always too loud and playful when around his family, but unearthly quiet around other girls their age.

“I know! We were all just as surprised as you were. Chaacha Jilē almost fainted.”

“He didn’t tell them that he was seeing her?” Inej’s surprise only grew. While she may not have gotten her parents’ permission before choosing to be with Kaz, her situation hadn’t given the option of choosing the favored Suli traditions.

“He didn’t even tell me! And I’m his favorite bhara. At least I have been since you…” Left? Were taken? Disappeared? Inej could hear the end of Adja’s sentence even if her cousin didn’t want to fill it in.

“I remember that,” Inej awkwardly filled the silence. She pointed to a section of tents reserved for carnival games. “Kila,” one of their older cousins, “once bet me thirteen kruge that I couldn’t win every game in the tent.”

“Kroog?” It wasn’t until the word left Adja’s mouth that Inej realized that she’d forgotten the Suli word for currency or money. It was such a small thing to forget, but it made her stop in her tracks.

“I-” she started to explain. “I’m sorry. I guess I just haven’t used that word in Suli in a few years. Uhm,” Inej racked her brain, digging deep into her memories to find the right word.

“What’s wrong?” Kaz, who had been silently listening to their conversation, spoke up. He couldn’t understand them, but he could see Inej’s face change. “I think I heard you say ‘kruge.’”

She shook her head, momentarily confused as Suli and Kerch collided with each other in her head. Rupe. The word finally came to her in a blunt memory. “I forgot the Suli word for money,” she said to him in Kerch and then explained it to her cousin again.

“Oh!” Adja didn’t seem fazed by her cousin’s slip up. “Kila was such a gambler. A terrible one too. Though I guess he doesn’t need to worry about that anymore. He married a wealthy Shu family. How he wiggled his way into that, I have no idea.”

Inej nodded along as Adja rambled. She was no longer listening to her cousin’s end of the conversation. Instead, she began filing through the mental dictionary in her brain. What other words had she forgotten?

Bread? Roti. Butterfly? Titali. Bowl? Katora. Horse? Ghora. Ocean? Samudara.

Random words were tossed and turned in her head. Adja continued to talk about their uncles and aunts. She went through family gossip as quickly as Nina went through maple-drizzled waffles. Inej didn’t hear any of it. All she could hear was the sound of her Suli-Kerch dictionary flipping page after page.

Torsion wrench? What was the Suli word for the little tool she had used numerous times to pick a lock? Had she ever known the word? Had she ever needed to use that word in her native language before? Would she even need to say torsion wrench during dinner tonight?

Ketterdam isn’t all that bad. At least I learned how to pick locks using a torsion wrench.

No, there was no way she could even imagine herself saying something like that to her family. Inej realized that she had let her nerves run a little too wild. Adja hadn’t even noticed when she said “kruge” instead of “rupe”. The odds of her family being upset with her for not remembering a word here and there were small.

Kaz tugged on the fabric of her skirt, drawing her attention to him once again. His dark eyes met hers, silently asking her once again if she was okay. This time she didn’t have to force a smile on her face to reassure him.

“How did Mama put together a dinner so quickly?” Inej said the moment the smell of paprika, garlic and bell peppers hit her. They had circled back around to the performance tent. Instead of it holding a crowd of entertained Ravkans, tonight, the tent would be used to spread out a Saints-worthy feast.

Adja beamed at her. “Masi Calla asked all of our masis and chaachas that were cooking dinner for after the show to add extra coals to the fires. Some of the food had to be bought from the markets so it won’t be exactly like you’re used to, but it’s all that we could get together so quickly.”

“It’s perfect. You could have fed me rocks and I would have been just as happy to be home.”

The heavy tent flaps were pulled wide open and she could see dark-haired figures moving frantically around the tent. The round seats used for audience members were stacked on top of each other. Inej remembered how long it took to carry the iron seats from the caravans to place them in their rows. She had been too small to carry them herself, so she would hold the bottom half of a stack while Hanzi carried the brunt of the weight.

The high ropes were still strung up from their looming poles. She itched to climb up and test her technique. The chaacha who had first taught her how to balance was strict about proper posture. Though she had no real use for it when sleuthing for the Dregs, she could still hear his sharp calls to straighten her spine or keep her gaze forward.

“Make room! Inej the Great has entered the tent!” Hanzi exclaimed. His voice cut through the flurry of her family’s movement. Inej realized why her uncle had stepped down to let Hanzi handle the crowds. His deep voice was effective when it came to getting a crowd’s attention.

Toffee and hazel eyes all met hers. All of her family, almost twice as many as earlier, froze where they were to stare at her and Kaz. His gloved fingers curved in hers, but no one seemed to care at that gesture as much as they cared about the dazzling headpiece sparkling in the candlelight. Her parents had tears in their eyes as if it was the first time they were seeing her again. Inej had to hold back tears of her own. She saw the circle of food splayed out around the lush carpets dragged from Saints know where to cushion the hard ground.

Sarma, stuffed peppers, bogacha, and xaimoko were still in their metallic cooking pots, steaming as if the fire had just been dosed from under them. Pirogo and xaritsa sat in porcelain crockery that Inej suspected came from the Ivetan market her cousin had mentioned. Silver kettles of chao filled the room with a lingering sweet smell. Dark cups of kafa were already served and in the hands of some to her cousins.

The meal flooded her with too many memories to catch at once. She was swimming in a stream of random memories. Her tongue burning from spicy stuffed peppers and then from chugging a fresh cup of chao in a vain attempt to ease the sting. Mama teaching her how to prepare the sarma properly. Papa stiring a pot of goulash.

“Why are you just standing there? Come! Sit!” Papa gestured to a spot right in front of Inej’s favorite platter.

She blinked back tears. No more tears. Tonight was for celebrating all that she had come back to, not for mourning the years she had lost.

“Some of it had to be bought so it won’t taste exactly like you remember but-” Her mother rushed to her side, holding her daughter’s hand and pulling her and Kaz towards her father.

“Mama, I don’t care how the food tastes. This is already so much more than I could ask for. Just being with you and Papa and everyone else is enough for me.”

Her mother’s dark brows furrowed. She took great pride in her cooking, as a Suli should. “Yes, yes, but still...If you had sent us some sort of message so we could have been prepared, the food would have all been ready. We would have canceled the show much sooner. But no, leave it to our little Esfir to show up as if the Saints had let her fall from their very sky at random.” The novelty of Inej’s arrival was definitely wearing off if her mother was already scolding her.

She laughed despite her mother’s pointed words. Inej settled in her seat comfortably. Kaz sat beside her, looking so out of place in this bright colored tent surrounded by equally colorful kurtas. She couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Kaz Brekker being handed a steaming cup of chao in his crisp, black suit.

Her own hands were already clutching a plate overflowing with food. Her father had served her heaping spoonfuls of every dish that sat before her. He paused, looking at Kaz curiously.

“Eh...food?” Her father surprised her with the Kerch word. She hadn’t known he spoke any Kerch.

Kaz nodded, “Krpya.”

Her father looked excited by his answer. He piled almost as much food on his plate as he had on hers. Kaz was excellent at hiding his emotions, but there was no hiding the amusement in his eyes. He took the plate with open arms. Everyone, including Inej, watched as Kaz lifted a fork to take a scoop of the rice-stuffed green pepper. He didn’t even flinch at what she could assume to be the spiciest bite of food he’d ever had. He chewed slowly, ignoring the flush that creeped up his neck. Judging from the smell, her family hadn’t held back when it came to spices that night. Finally he smiled, thanking her father for the food.

That seemed to be the cue her family had been waiting for. Everyone unfroze and went for a plate.

Kaz waited until they were no longer staring at him to reach for the tea. She had to bite back a laugh as he gulped down the entire cup.

“Spicy?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

Kaz looked at her as if she had grown an extra ear. “Spicy? Inej, I thought I was going to die.”

This time she couldn’t hold back the laugh. Everything about the night filled her with so much joy and laughter that Inej had to put down her food for a second. Her stomach burned from the giggles that shook her body. Kaz was actually blushing as her cousins closests to her looked at them.

“Kaz said the food almost killed him.” She explained to them. “The Kerch prefer their food much less seasoned. Mostly a hint of salt and pepper. It’s actually very sad.”

All of them broke out into smiles.

Her mother who was still standing behind them said, “Tell Ka-s that he’ll have to get used to real food if he’s decided to stay with you.” She placed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder affectionately.

Kaz, clearly not expecting the sudden touch, went still. His body tensed beneath the touch and his jaw tightened. Her mother noticed the change in his posture and jerked her hand back. She looked at her daughter quickly, but Inej could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes even if it was just for a second.

“It’s not you, Mama.” She rushed to explain for Kaz. His eyes had dropped to the plate resting on his lap.

“I told you that our life in Ketterdam wasn’t easy.” She tried to find a way of explaining without revealing too much of Kaz’s past. “He isn’t used to people touching him unless they’re trying to hurt him. Give him time, Mama.” That part was at least true.

Her mother nodded, looking apologetic but no less confused. This time she was looking at the visible scars along Inej’s arms. Her cousin’s outfit didn’t hide them the way her earlier outfit had.

Hanzi, who was watching the whole exchange from across the tent, spoke out. “What was it like, Nej? In Ketterdam?”

His father, Chaacha Jilé, used a serving spoon to give him a hard tap on the head. “Hanzi!”

“What? We were all thinking it!”

His father shook his head. “You know better than to ask that kind of question.”

“It’s okay.” Inej cut in before her uncle could use the spoon again. “Hanzi is right. You all want to know what happened. I don’t blame you.”

“See!” Hanzi pointed a vindicated finger towards Inej.

“Hush!” His father waved the spoon in front of his son.

She bit back a smile and continued. Inej looked at Kaz. His rigid spine loosened a bit, but he still looked a bit on edge. “I’m going to tell them.”

A small smile tugged on his mouth. “You know I support whatever decision you make.”

It was all the encouragement she needed. “Mama, Papa, you may want to sit down. It’s a long story and most of it isn’t pleasant.”

Her mother worriedly sat beside her. Her father put an arm around her shoulders, physically supporting his wife in the same way Kaz had just supported her.

“I was taken by slavers. They broke in and took me just as the sun had started to rise. They brought me to Ketterdam, where I was sold to a heartless woman who made me do unspeakable things for terrible men. Kaz worked for a group of young men trying to build a new business and went to meet with the woman at the request of his boss. I realized I could escape with his help, so I offered him my skills as an acrobat. He agreed to employ me legally and without having to do any of the things that I was doing there. He taught me how to defend myself. I worked as his spy and I was good at it.

“Ketterdam… it can be an ugly place that brings the ugliness out of even the best people. I’ve done things I pray the Saints will one day forgive me for; but I’m not the same girl I was when I was taken. If I was, I don’t think I would have made it through the first night in that city. I will never be that girl again, no matter how hard I try. And I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.

“I was able to eventually afford a ship and a crew to run it. Now, I'm the captain of a crew of people dedicated to keeping other people from having to go through what I went through. I hope that the work I do at sea can help weaken any shadows I have created during my years in Ketterdam.”

Inej had, of course, changed a few details in her story. There was no way she was going to tell her entire family that the “business” Kaz was running was actually a deadly street gang. She was also never going to explain to them exactly how good at her job she had gotten. They would never understand the things she had done. In fact, if they could see the crimson stains on her hands, they’d probably be so repulsed that they would kick her out on the spot.

Her mother was crying again. Her father looked heartbroken as if all of his worst fears had come true.

“Inej…” Adja spoke first. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Inej was surprised to realize that she wasn’t in tears as she feared she would have been. “It’s not your fault.” She looked at her parents, realizing that they must have carried some guilt with her disappearance just as she carried the shame of the things she had done.

“Nor is it yours. We couldn’t have known those slavers were going to break into our home. You two did everything you were supposed to. When things were at their worst, I could hear your voices teaching me how to pray to the Saints. I was able to survive so long because I always carried the hope you taught me to hold on to. The hope that I would one day return to you.”

Her father looked furiously stubborn as he said, “And you have. You are home, Inej. That’s all that matters. We don’t care what you had to do to get here. As long as you are here with us again.”

“The Saints don’t punish actions done to survive.” Her mother agreed. “You don’t need to ask them or us for forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned, Inej, and you have been through more than enough to deserve it. We know you. We know you have a good heart. We love who you are now because it brought you back to us.”

“You will always be our esfir.” Her father held his daughter's trembling hands.

Those words were like the first bite of bread after a year long fast. Inej hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear them, or how much it would mean to hear them from her parents. Her father’s touch didn’t wipe away any of the blood on her hands nor did it take away the dark memories she would always carry. But it did make her feel hopeful for the future. For so long she feared that she could never return home; she feared her family would reject the woman she was sharpened into. Her parents didn’t look like they were ready to throw her out. In fact, they looked like they were ready to hold her tighter than ever.

“Wait a second,” Hanzi once again drew all the attention in the room back to him. “You said you were a spy and now a ship captain?”

Inej wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Yes.”

“And that Ka-s...runs a business?”

“Yes, Hanzi.”

He looked suspiciously between Kaz and Inej. Then at the leather gloves and silver crow’s head of his cane. His jaw dropped. “Inej, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”

She bit her lip, unsure of how to answer.

“He knows, doesn’t he?” Kaz’s gravelly voice was full of pride at being recognized.

“Don’t look so smug. I don’t think he recognized you until I said that I was a ship captain.”

“INEJ!”

She turned back to Hanzi. He was almost buzzing with excitement to hear her answer. “Are you who I think you are? Is he who I think he is?”

Her mother narrowed her eyes at her nephew.“Inej is whoever she wants to be. As for Ka-s, he’s Inej’s...”

Inej looked to Kaz for the answer. They had never felt the need to use a word to explain their relationship. Everyone on their tiny stretch of an island knew better than to question Dirtyhands or the Wraith. Their friends didn’t need an explanation. What she shared with Kaz went deeper than anything she could describe.

“What?”

“They want to know what you are to me.”

“Then tell them.”

“What do you want me to tell them?”

“What do you want to tell them?”

“That you’re the person I love most in this world.”

His smile was blinding. “I’m more than okay with that answer.”

“Kaz is my heart.”

Adja cooed, clutching her heart. Her mother looked approvingly at Kaz. Her father looked relieved by the answer. Hanzi still looked unsatisfied by it.

“Why are you all just staring at us? Let’s eat!” She mimicked her father’s earlier remark. The silence was once again filled with her family’s celebratory cheers.

“Thank you for coming with me. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Kaz looked smug. “I love you.”

Inej smiled, looking around the circle of happiness brought together by a bond that went deeper than blood. “I love you, too.”

A/N Pt 2: Hi hello! If you happened to have read this before January 2, 2020 then you might remember that there used to be a long paragraph at the end of this fic where I acknowledged all of the cultures that I read about as inspiration to flesh out the Suli culture in this fic. Welp, because Tumblr enjoys to make life difficult, it actually decided to erase the entirety of this fic, leaving only the title. Why? I have no idea!!!! But that means I had to do everything and luckily I had all of the fic saved except for this second A/N bc I added it in right before uploading. While I’m incredibly annoyed by Tumblr glitch and am not able to fully write the original acknowledgment, I still want to give add a smaller version of the previous one.

All of cultures I drew from for this fic can be found listed here. The Suli language was a modified mixture of Hindi and Punjabi. The foods are mostly Romani in origin. The names are a mixture of Turkish, Hindi, Romani, and Slavic names. The clothing have all been specifically named. The head piece Inej wore was directly inspired by a South Asian maang tikka however out of respect for this real cultural practice, I changed the name/origin for the fic. Any parables/customs/religious beliefs explained in the fic are completely fictional that were either pulled directly from the SOC series or made up for this fic. Any connection/similarities to real cultural practices are completely coincidental unless I specifically said so. I believe that was everything important that I had in the original acknowledgment. I’m so sorry if anything was left out. If you do feel that I forgot to mention anything in this rewritten version, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it immediately!

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bngtanah · 5 years ago

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The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o7

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park) feat. Park Jimin (Brian Yi) x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

genre: angst, smut, fluff word count: 3k chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14 warning: boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, painter!jimin, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn, arguing, pining

a/n: this ones a bit short, sorry!

Sammy stopped waiting for Erin to return long after the sun had set and the plates of food he'd set out for both of them grew cold and inedible. His intentions for the night were simple; treat Erin to a highly deserved meal prepared by someone who was not him, commend her for how hard she had been working lately in order to do as well as she could on her few remaining final exam and somehow during the night offhandedly mention the fact that he was in love with her and probably has been since the first time they met. Just to gauge her reaction. It was a simple plan that didn't require any extra factors to be accomplished but it definitely did require Erin to be present, which she was not.

A frown turned down the corners of Samuel's lips and created an expression that was rarely seen on his naturally bright and cheery face. With one final glance down at his cell phone that had been quiet all night, Sam huffed and pushed himself back from the coffee table then stood up. It was well after 12 and Erin hadn't called, texted or left any indication of where she might have been and what was taking her so long to come back home. He thought about calling her as he blew out the single candle that was placed in the middle of the coffee table, Samuel argued with himself the entire time he put away the extra food and ultimately decided that he shouldn't. He was worried about her but that didn't really give him ample reason to treat her like a child breaking curfew, especially since he had a vague idea of where could be at this hour.

Samuel knew that Erin wasn't exactly a party-going socialite so she couldn't have been out dancing; if she was staying late at the library or work she would have texted him or left a note for him somewhere when she came home. He had also taken note of the aftermath of clothing and makeup left behind by hurricane Erin all over her room which meant she went someplace where she wanted to look her best and there was only one reason Erin really dressed up these days.

Brian.

The image of that orange-haired punk putting his hands on Erin made Sammy grit his teeth and fling his body back against the couch. He was letting his imagination get the better of him but just thought of anyone but him comforting Erin after a long day at work, touching her or anything else made Samuel's blood boil. His feelings were irrational and childish and even if Samuel recognised that it wouldn't have stopped the anger that found root in his heart or the ache that pinged him after he allowed his agitation to settle down.

Erin was no longer just his.

She was content in finding happiness elsewhere and Samuel had to find a way to accept that. They were getting older and even though he would have loved to, Sam supposed they couldn't continue to simply play house for the rest of their lives. Eventually, they had to grow up and maybe that meant growing apart too.

Brian was normally a late riser. It was never unusual for him to still be in a deep sleep well after 12 in the afternoon but today was different. Today he was up with the sun and the scent of lingering arousal and a familiar gentle aroma of woman’s perfume filled his nose. The first thing he felt was something against his face, warm, soft brown and ticklish. A yawn forced his jaw to go slack as the sunlight shone through the window, brightening up his bedroom. A nest of brown hair rested below his nose, belonging to the naked feminine body that was cuddled up against him.

He swept a few strands of her hair away from Erin's slumbering face as a small, tender smile crept upon his lips. Her current expression was in such contrast to the one she was wearing just a few hours ago when she crying out with pleasure beneath him. Now she was so quiet. So calm. Brian wasn't sure which one he liked better. He pressed a kiss on her earlobe, then traveled down to her neck and brushed his lips gently against her skin until she stirred slightly and turned to her side, muttering something that sounded like 'Quit playing Sammy', but Brian couldn't be sure.

He ignored the doubt and peeled himself away from Erin's body, the cold air of his loft attacking his body the second he was no longer covered by the plush comforters. Brian pulled a pair of joggers on his lower body and decided that he might as well pick up the rest of the clothing that had randomly landed around the floor of his bedroom while he was at it. In a careful and lazy manner he retrieved most of Erin's clothes and placed them on the edge of the bed near where she lay, he grinned again when Erin rolled onto her back and spread her arms out at her side. Her jacket was in his hand and he was about to place on the bed with the rest of her clothes but something fell out of the pocket and gave him pause.

Brian knew the easy thing to do would have been to put the folded up sheet of paper back into the jacket pocket since it wasn't his and he didn't really have a reason to read it, but he was curious and figured it was probably just some leftover fax from work that Erin had forgotten to send out. It wouldn't hurt to read it.

So Brian unfolded the sheet of paper and instead of seeing figures and numbers or a schedule of some sort like he expected Brian found himself reading a handwritten note from Erin's roommate. There was nothing scandalous written, and it definitely seemed like a friendly gesture between friends but something about the way Samuel wrote 'Love, Sammy' with a silly little heart in place of the 'o' and the general tone of the note rubbed Brian the wrong way. It was all just so.... intimate. An innocent kind of intimacy but still an intimacy that Brain often didn't feel when he was alone with Erin. The paper crumpled in Brian's fist and he shoved it back into the pocket where it fell from and tossed the jacket onto the bed before swiftly moving out of the room.

It took another few minutes for Erin to wake up and realise that she was alone in bed in a bedroom that did not belong to her. The initial panic within her subsided when she remembered that she was still in Brian's loft and her arms stretched far above her head as she sat up and glanced around the empty room. Everything looked so different bathed in sunlight but Erin didn't allow herself to linger for too long, she was out of bed and dressed in a matter of seconds and quickly went to search for her boyfriend.

Erin smiled widely when she caught sight of him in the kitchen fumbling around with something she couldn't see. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and buried her face into the space between his shoulder blades, pressing her plush lips against his warm bare skin.

"You let me wake up alone, rude" She giggled and hardly noticed the way he tensed up when her lips made contact with his body.

"Sorry," Brian muttered in response but didn't turn around.

Erin was slightly put off by his curt response and her eyes squinted downward for a moment but she pushed on regardless, concluding that Brian just may not have been a morning person.

"So um, I was thinking that since I have my final final in a few hours and I can't really stay for too long today maybe we could meet up this afternoon? You promised to take me back that speakeasy pub last month and we still haven't been back."

Brian shrugged and gave Erin a halfhearted 'maybe' in response but when he stopped washing dishes and moved from the sink to the refrigerator like she wasn't even holding him his actions left her confused and honestly a little hurt. She didn't understand why he was acting like his, especially after last night.

"Are you okay Brian?" She asked gently, still hovering around the sink.

"I'm fine" he replied with his head hidden behind the door of the fridge.

Erin shuffled on the heels of her feet and bit down on her lip, he definitely didn't sound fine.

"Are you sure because you seem a little...upset? Is this about last night? Do you think we're moving too fast or something?" Erin paused and laced her fingers together "Do you regret sleeping with me?"

Her last question made Brian shut the door and look directly at her for the first time that morning, his expression soft and apologetic.

"What? No, of course I don't" he said in a whisper as he reached forward to pull her against his chest.

"Then why are you acting so weird?"

Brian pressed his lips together and rested his cheek against Erin's temple.

"It's silly..."

"I still wanna hear it"

"...fine. I found something this morning that made me a little upset that's all"

"Upset? With me?" Erin asked and pulled her head back to look up at her boyfriend.

"Yeah. I came across the little note that your roommate left you when I was picking up your clothes and I didn't like it."

"Wait a minute, you were snooping through my pockets while I slept? Do distrust me that much?"

Erin completely detached herself from Brian's body and put an ample amount of space between them. She could understand if he was upset about something that actually warranted a reaction but there was nothing written there to explain this kind of reaction.

"I wasn't snooping, it fell out!"

"That doesn't matter who are you to be rifling through my personal effects? That note wasn't addressed to you so you had no business reading it, and what the hell could have made you so damn vexed? Is no one else allowed to hope I have a good day but you?"

Brian exhaled deeply and girded his hips, he was doing his best to keep a level head but with Erin's voice raising slightly the more she spoke it was becoming harder for him to remain docile.

"It's not what was written on the paper but the tone of it all that bothered me."

"Because you can judge tone just by reading something?"

"No, but I can judge it based on past experience, I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention Erin. You've said that there's nothing going on between you two I not so convinced of that. I mean we can barely get through one date without you mentioning his name at least five times, trust me I've counted."

Erin gasped, her fingers raking through the front of her hair as she turned away from him for a few moments before turning back to face him with her features shrouded in anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? If this has been bothering you for so long why are you just now bringing it up, you've had so many opportunities to ask me about this?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem before now, and look I don't want to keep bringing this up but can you honestly tell me that he doesn't feel anything for you? I'm not saying he's got to be in love with you but you can't live with someone and not-"

"Of course, we love each other!" Erin bellowed before Brian had a chance to finish his sentence, her gaze wild with anger as she stepped toward Brian who looked startled.

"We've known each other for over half the duration of our lives, we have shared every major moment in life since middle school. I know that Sammy loves me with every part of him that is capable of giving love but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. He's not in love with me." Erin noticed the slight tremble in her voice when she spoke, the part of her that still wished Sammy felt some other way was still alive and ached when the reality of her words hit her.

"I-i'm sorry, I shouldn't have overreacted..." Brian stuttered and attempted to reach for her shoulder but Erin side stepped him and shook her head.

"I'm going to be late for my test."

It's well into the afternoon when Erin finally returns to her apartment and finds Sammy bundled up on his pullout bed watching something on Netflix that she didn't recognize. Silently she kicked off her shoes, dropped her bag and made a beeline straight for her roommate, forcing her way into his lap which made him sit up rigidly and peer down at her.

"Can you hold me?" were her only words and Samuel was quick to oblige her by wrapping his arms tightly around her body and holding Erin tight to his chest. He recognized the pained expression on her face and knew that she would probably need a minute before she felt like telling him what was wrong. So they both sat in a comfortable silence, the background noise from the television filling the void until Samuel finally looked down at Erin and ticked up one of his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, noona?"

Erin took a deep breath and relayed her entire day to Sam, the fight with Brian, her race to her university, the fact that she nearly missed her opportunity to take her final exam and the fact that she was so distracted from her argument with Brian she may have bombed her final. She was on the verge of tears by the time she was done speaking but Samuel calmed her in a way that only he could by pressing his soft lips against her temple and gently stroking the length of her hair, muttering gentle compliments against her skin the entire time.

"I am 100% sure you didn't fail that final, I've heard you reciting literary nonsense in your sleep for the past two weeks. Even if you were distracted there's no way you could have failed."

Erin pouted, she was glad for the reassurance but her gut was telling her otherwise.

"And about your fight with...your boyfriend,"

Erin clamped up the moment he mentioned the fight. In her haste to tell him what was bothering her she had completely forgotten to censor herself, she didn't mean to mention that he was the cause of their fight.

"You know he's wrong, right? I mean I love you, you know I do but...I-....you're family it'd be weird to think of you in any other way." Sammy managed to crack a playful smile even though he was dead inside, those words pained him to say more than he thought but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. He didn't want to sway her heart, not like this when she was vulnerable and troubled. Erin sniffled and nodded quickly, pretending to be relieved when he said the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear.

"That's what I told him," She said softly and pulled back from and made and effort to get off his lap, "Sorry for bombarding you like this, I just needed a hug." Erin chuckled and stood to her feet.

"I'll always be here to give you one" Sam replied and then neither of them spoke for a few seconds, staring each other down and holding their gaze like they both wanted to say something but in the end no one spoke up and Erin found herself awkwardly waving and walking away.

She slumped to the ground the second she closed the door behind her and Erin buried head between her knees, she had been trying to hold in the tears since Samuel held her but hearing him admit what she already feared was the final straw to break the dam of her tears. What started as a gentle stream soon evolved into a silent sob as Erin pressed her head backwards against the door in a shallow attempt to stop herself from violently weeping like a teenager. She already had suspicions that Sammy didn't feel the same way so why did this hurt so much? A part of her wanted to go back out to the living room, grab her roommate by the collar of his thin white t-shirt and explain to him that she believed that they were soul mates and they belonged together she didn't care if he saw it or not. But what would that prove? It would shake the foundations of their friendship and Erin wasn't so sure their relationship could handle such a blow.

Instead of mustering up courage Erin dragged her body towards her bed and pushed herself underneath the mess of clothes and blankets, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

#btsnoonanet #houseofddaeng #j hope fanfic #jimin fanfic #bts fic #bts scenarios #bngtanah #dbbg

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vminity21 · 6 years ago

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Limousine Luxury

Pairing: Hoseok X Reader, <Surprise BTS member mentioned>

Word Count: 2.3k

Warning: smut

Flashes of cameras click behind you as you enter the limo waiting patiently for your arrival. The red-carpet event you are now leaving happens to be in celebration from a hit movie you have successfully been a part of. Though your character played a minor role- every actor and actress has been invited- fans' screams mingled with countless paparazzi questions become muffled once a security guard shuts your door. Leaning your head back, you close your eyes, ready to be in your bedroom, slipping under the covers until you wake up the following morning. You're so deep in your thoughts, you don't expect the door to the limo to open again, a figure with fluffy, brown hair leans forward preparing to step in when he notices the glittering end of your dress.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was my-" He's interrupted by a guard rushing him to be seated, the door shutting once you realize it's your fellow co-star, Jung Hoseok, settling in the seat. You scoot to the other end of the cushion to give him some room, his eyes timidly scape your figure leading him to bow out of respect. You're hardly able to contain yourself enough as it is with how dashing the man is. A black turtleneck underneath a black suit jacket, his long legs covered by black slacks, shiny shoes pointed- you bite your bottom lip, fighting the urge of shame clouding your mind.

He played the main character of the film which happens to be a romance; one that stole the world's hearts the second it hit theaters. The only thing that nobody knows, not even your closest friends, is the sexual tension you two have held the entire two years of shooting the film. It started with the feel of his fingers accidentally brushing yours when reviewing a script; leading to the time he nearly kissed you behind the scenes at a filming location at a beach; or maybe the time you seductively ran your hands along his chest, whispering in his ear just to fuel the desire of lust awakening within his soul.

For the first time since both of you met, you two are alone enough, in the back of a limo, the driver's focus remaining on the road while music blasts from the speakers. Hoseok's eyes glimpse at you, and it doesn't take long before you catch him in the act; though his first instinct is to avert his gaze, he sees the way your eyes plead for him to stay, prompting him to reach for a button on the ceiling, the partition that separates the backseat from the front seat rises slowly, the music drowning out any sound from being heard.

You take it as a cue, your hands grasping the front of his tuxedo, immediately gasping against his lips that have captured yours with the same hunger. Humming into his kiss, the relief flooding your limbs ease the tension, your hands grasping the strands of his hair in deprivation; his tongue dancing with yours while he fumbles with where to place his hands. His erection is felt beneath your heat though clothes remain on; with the dress, you're wearing, the fabric is spread enough, you're able to feel the material of his slacks along your inner thighs. You unintentionally grind your hips, him doing the same, lips nearly bruised from sultry kisses he refuses to break. His palms greet your ass, squeezing so hard, you nearly melt into his frame, your teeth sliding along his bottom lip before sneaking the tip of your tongue along it before snatching his lips once more.

Your fingers trace his jawline, a part of him that nearly makes you faint- Though he's wearing a turtleneck, your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking with each move until you reach his ear. A soft laugh resonates into his eardrum, him moaning in response, but you can't help yourself especially with the fire dribbling within your heat.

"I don't know if you've ever been blown in a limo, but if not, you're never gonna forget it," you're wild, though nobody but past partners would know, and with the way Hoseok's hazy, brown eyes watch your every move, you don't mind giving him the ride of his life. Squeezing his shoulders once, you move backward off his lap, kneeling on the floor, your antsy fingers unbuckle his belt, the imagined jingle of the metal sending jolts of excitement throughout his limbs. The anticipation is nearly smothering, especially when you unbutton his pants to show his underwear, spreading the fabric to expose his erection, the sight causing you to bite your lower lip instinctively. "Oh baby," you nearly drool, his hands curling around your wrists before you lean in to cover his area with your mouth, salivation covering every inch of his being, he leans back in immense pleasure while you perform a long, intense suck before dipping your head up and down- running your tongue over his tip, letting the taste of his precum lead you to yearn for more, pleasuring him so much he could release right then and there. You free your wrist from one of his tightening hands, bringing it to his scrotum that is peeking through the opening of his underwear, palpating softly whilst sucking, his feet pressing harder at the floorboard from the paradise he's been wanting with you two years too long.

When you see how much of an effect it has on Hoseok, you continue your bliss, sucking and sucking until his hands grasp the sides of your ribcage causing you to gasp in surprise. Without a second to blink, your back is crashed against the seat cushion with Hoseok hovering above you, strands of his hair glistening over his eyes, his chest heaving as his hands rest on either side of you. Your eyes are wide from the sudden gesture, but when he lowers to place his lips near your ear, a tingling sensation waves across your figure,

"I don't know if you've ever been fucked in a limo, but I'm gonna make sure you, my dear, will never forget it,"

"Oh, fuck," you're so aroused by just that statement, your vaginal walls are nearly soaked before Hoseok slams his erection into you, drubbing so hard, you can't help the screams of pleasure that are gratefully unheard from the vibration of the speakers reverberating within the small space. Your hands clasp roughly around his wrists, him pounding so rhythmically with the bass of whatever song is playing, your g-spot being brushed with each thrust, the growing climax sends your eyes rolling back. The two of you are so lost in intimacy that neither of you notices the pause of the limo and the dimming of the music. It's Hoseok who jolts away immediately, stuffing his penis back into his pants, scrabbling to buckle his belt before it dawns on you that the limo is no longer moving. Swiftly, you fix your dress, running your hands through your styled hair in panic, also hoping your makeup isn't smeared all over. Your throbbing heat is relentless, and you squeeze your thighs to try and relieve some of the sensitivity, but it's no use. Once the driver, Kim Namjoon, opens the door, you and Hoseok smile at him trying to hide the fact the two of you were literally having intercourse directly behind his back. Namjoon squints his eyes in suspicion when he notices how awkward the two of you chuckle when leaving the limo, but he brushes it off, him tipping his hat for a farewell. The second the gates are locked, you grasp Hoseok's hand, your other hand clinging to your dress, your feet moving faster than they ever have as he follows suit. The moment you reach the door, you spin around, dragging his mouth to yours.

Your back hits against the front door nearly bringing you to your knees while he follows your lead, his hands pressing into your waist while the two of you rebuild the itching desire that had been interrupted. For all you know paparazzi are lurking outside the gate surrounding your home, but with the addiction of Hoseok's lips on yours, you do not care one bit. You break the kiss just to unlock the door, closing it behind you. Snatching his hand once more, you kick off your heels, him slipping out of his shoes; you run him up the stairs until both of you are safe in your bedroom. He locks the door behind him once you turn on the lights, and that's when he tackles you once again, kissing your mouth roughly, your hands pulling off his suit jacket whilst he unzips the back of your dress. When your lacy undergarments taunt his widening eyes, you step away from your dress, giving him a seductive smile. Sliding your fingers into your thong, you coat your fingers with the wetness he's caused you, stepping forward slowly to smear it on his lips. His eyes close while his staggered breaths relish in your scent, urging to taste you, he clamps his mouth around your fingers, his teeth grazing your skin while he sucks.

"I want you to taste me, Hoseok," you whisper, "I want you to never stop wanting me,"

That's all it takes before he squats to wrap his arms underneath your ass, lifting you effortlessly in the air, sprinting to your bed and crashing you onto it. Once the bounce of your bodies settles, his hands desperately tear your thong from your frame as well as your lace bra, his mouth leaving carefully placed kisses along your ribcage before your trembling hands move to rid of his turtleneck. Unbuckling his belt, Hoseok frees himself from his pants and underwear- every article of clothing between the both of you finally resting on the ground.

Unexpectantly he rolls you above him, pressing your bare chest against him, his teeth nipping your ear lobe before his warm breath haunts your ear in the sexiest grunt you've ever heard, "If I'm going to taste you, I want it all over my face,"

"Ohhhh shit," he clings onto your hips, you move with him until your folds are above his starving mouth. Now with his heated palms smoothed along your ass, you lower yourself just enough until you hear the sudden sound of his lips caressing along your heat bringing a moan to escape your throat. "Ohhh, baby," you breathe, his tongue circling your heat slowly before he roughly flicks it against you, delighting in your taste while your head thrusts back in ecstasy. You've never had sex so good- especially with the way his tongue licks so naturally underneath your clenching vaginal walls- your thighs quivering from how strong your climax is building. His lips cover your clit, imbibing it judiciously before returning his tongue to lick rapidly among your slit. "Ohhh, Hoseook," you can hardly concentrate, him continuing his mission until you slide back, forcing him to raise, his bangs now clinging to his perspired forehead, his lips parting just to land to kiss your chin, the scent from your folds fresh on his lips.

"Now," he says, his lips tickling your skin, "Where were we before we were rudely interrupted?"

"I think I remember," you whisper, him embarking to crash you under him- his penis finding your entrance before you can catch a breath, and that's when he starts. Pumping profusely into your walls, your screams of pleasure ring throughout your room, letting Hoseok enthrall every single one of your senses until your legs nearly give out. You moan his name, "Harder," your voice breaks, "Harder! Oh!"

Your climax hits you suddenly, your legs jolting beneath him while he ejaculates inside you, him falling next to you- both of you hyperventilating, the sensitivity still present between your legs while you two try to recover. "Holy shit," you breathe, "Where the hell have you been all my life?" A deep chuckle sounds from his pearly smile, his eyes squinting from the happiness you're oblivious to. When his long fingers intertwine with yours, you furrow your eyebrows, shifting to rest on your side so that way you can see all of him easier. Preparing to speak, his free hand reaches to tuck a strand of your fallen hair behind your ear rendering you speechless. From the way his eyes search your face, it's as if he's wanted more from you than just the interaction you two have completed. Though you've kept your feelings private, he's always made your heart palpitate; but, with the false perception of love that you have witnessed your whole life- especially within your career, you just always assumed he wanted nothing but one thing, just like every other male who has crossed your path. Feeling guilty for presuming all men were the same, you lean your cheek into his palm where he rests it, him moving to sit up just enough to brush his lips to yours before pressing kisses on every inch of your face, his sudden passion surprising you, especially when he turns you to lay you back down just so he can lounge in your beauty from above.

He clears his throat before his timid eyes peer at you, "I think- I um, I-" he stammers nervously, "If you are up for it, I'd love to court you, sometime." He wets his lips, "We may have started off too swiftly, but I definitely wouldn't say it's on the wrong foot," he beams, an exuberant cackle leaving you while you playfully smack his bare shoulder.

"I mean I'd love to have a date to accompany me to more events," you trace his jawline with your fingertips while a knowing smirk tugs on his lips, "Besides, with the way you fuck me in a limo, I think you and I aren't gonna be able to resist each other any longer," pinning him under you, he submissively obeys, your thumbs stroking his cheeks while his loving eyes sweep your face,

"And that's sure as hell fine with me," he says. After holding his gaze, you close the small distance, kissing him so sweetly, letting his arms embrace you fully until the break of dawn.

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thrandilf · 6 years ago

Text

Breaking the Ice

Valbar/Leon Valeon fluff/romance. Body positivity, sensuality, sexuality, intimacy, fluff, newly established relationship, rated M for being sexual in nature while not actively having sex in it.

-~-

Some things in relationships didn’t happen magically or effortlessly.

Leon’s nighttime ritual hadn’t changed since he and Valbar started living together a few weeks ago. He washed his face by a polished candlelit mirror and combed his hair, striving for his soft lavender hair to always be styled in place. On days he bathed in the local hot springs he always used gentle soaps and lotion when he dried off, and just a little lotion on regular days at home. He preened incessantly, proud of his appearance, but also hoping to impress his fiancé.

Valbar wasn’t shallow enough to judge by appearance, care to know how much fussing Leon did, and perhaps wasn’t even physically attracted to Leon as far as he could tell.

It didn’t matter. Leon still squirmed happily and blushed, still thinking about Valbar’s confession of romantic feelings to him. Castle life had settled them both down over the years into comfortable roles- Leon a merchant and Valbar a military instructor. Their relationship was a budding one, built on friendship turned something more intimate, but both had agreed that they’d lived together on the battlefield and march harmoniously, how much different could domestic life be?

A soft familiar knock on the door startled Leon out of his thoughts and he grinned. “We’re to be married, you know- come in!”

“Heh, still getting used to that.” Valbar ducked under the doorframe and came in, sighing peacefully as he surveyed the room. His knighthood could’ve granted him his own estate, but Valbar had politely declined, telling Celica that a huge house with room for a family would only cause him heartache. Moving into the top floor of Leon’s hunting and adventuring supply shop had been easy, and the two shared the spacious one bedroom attic in comfort. Leon’s bed had always been huge enough to respectfully host two people, and a few rearrangements made a shared room comfortable for two people’s joined, although the closet was too packed with Leon’s outfits for Valbar to have anything but his trunk of clothes. Valbar didn’t mind, saying it was endearing.

“How was training today?” Leon carefully removed his eyeshadow, squinting and making faces in a necessary blip of unbecoming behavior for beauty’s sake.

“Great! Somewhat sore from sparring. A student almost knocked me off my feet!” exclaimed Valbar proudly. Valbar paused and leaned close hesitantly. Leon immediately stopped rubbing his eyes to give Valbar a chaste kiss. They exchanged warm smiles of new lovers whose lips tingled after a simple kiss and who were still ecstatic over fingers brushing together. They hadn’t had much more than that. Leon had no idea if Valbar even wanted more than that. “How’s business?”

“Steady, as luck would have it. I might have to price drop some of my trail rations and camping equipment, but I think my traps and archery things are selling up to par.” Archery would always be Leon’s area of expertise, even after retiring. “Damn shoulder doesn’t act up as much as it used to, but I might need help unpacking a few shipment crates tomorrow.”

Valbar sat on the edge of their bed, kicking off his boots and tossing his belt aside, settling in for the evening in a loose oversized tunic and thin slacks. “It’ll be my pleasure to help.” He rubbed the back of his neck and dragged a hand through his short hair. Leon spared him a glance and unknowingly bit his lip. He’d fallen in love with Valbar’s heart and caring personality, but Leon wasn’t immune to how his eyes longingly traced Valbar’s sturdy bulk. He was clearly muscled and strong, and oh how his callused fingers felt against his own softer skin in their brief touches together-

“Hey, Leon.” Valbar’s fond tone cut into his wandering trail of thought.

Leon jumped out of his daydream with a startled giggle. “Ahaha! Look at me, head in the clouds when I’m already the happiest man on earth. Sorry, love.”

Valbar smiled and chuckled. “No need to be sorry. I need to talk to you, is all.”

“Is something wrong?” Leon frowned and finished wiping at his face, sitting next to Valbar on the mattress.

“No no, it isn’t a bad thing. It’s just- well.” Valbar shifted on the bed and glanced away before looking back at Leon’s worried expression. “I know how you look at me, Leon. You’ve always known who you love, while being with a fella is new to me.”

Leon swallowed hard. He knew Valbar had been married with a wife long ago. He knew that Valbar’s affection for him was something romantic, with the rest being difficult to put into words. “I’m sorry. Do I make you uncomfortable? I’ll stop-“

“Hush. It’s okay.” Valbar took Leon’s hand and squeezed it. Silence stretched between them for a little too long. Leon figured he truly did make Valbar uncomfortable and opened his mouth to apologize when Valbar cut him off.

“Well. I, uh.” Valbar coughed awkwardly. “Alright, I’ll be blunt. We’re getting married. If we’re ever going to have sex, we have to be brave, honest and just hit the sheets together.”

If Leon had been drinking a beverage, it would’ve been all over the floor as he spluttered. His face glowed with a red blush and he wheezed. “Oh! I- I mean- I thought you-“

“Let’s not assume anything, okay? I want this. I want to try.” Valbar gently laid his hand on Leon’s shoulder. “I’ve never been with another guy before, but I know I love you, and there’s only one way to find out how I like you. We have to be a little clumsy and just give it a shot.”

Leon couldn’t believe this was happening. “You- I mean- yeah. That makes sense.”

More silence.

Valbar shifted his weight again.

Leon nervously bounced his leg, platform of his foot braced against the floor. He’d wanted Valbar for so long, what was wrong with him? Butterflies churned in his stomach. For some reason, even the thought of giving Valbar a hug suddenly felt like too much. “Do you know how this works?”

“Do you mean being intimate with someone, or the mechanics of what goes where?”

“Yes.” Leon switched which leg he was bouncing and tried to look Valbar in the eyes. “I- I’ll bottom.”

Valbar involuntarily snorted and Leon burst into laughter, entire body shaking. Valbar joined him heartily, both barely able to breathe. Leon collapsed back on the bed as he succumbed to his giggling, the tension in the air extinguished. Valbar laid down next to him with a thump. Leon met his eyes, light with mirth. Valbar brought Leon in close for a hug, arm around his waist. “Alright. Back it up. Let’s start a little slower, huh?”

“Okay.” Leon touched his forehead to Valbar’s. They’d laid like this before, safe and warm in each other’s arms. Leon cupped Valbar’s cheek with his palm and lovingly stroked Valbar’s face, pads of his fingertips grazing where Valbar shaved. “You only liked women for the longest time. Aside from how we romantically connected, what do you like about me? I know appearances aren’t everything, I just want to feel like you enjoy me in some way.”

Valbar absently rubbed Leon’s back with his palm in a soothing motion. His eyes still twinkled with laughter. “I don’t think you need me to tell you how handsome and beautiful you are, but what the hell. Everything about you is ethereal and graceful. You’re slender but strong and I know you use a lot of flowery smelling stuff to make your skin soft. I’ve always thought bright hair was pretty too. Really Leon, I know there isn’t an inch of you that isn’t perfect and even if you weren’t so meticulous about it, the Gods blessed you with those cheekbones and violet eyes.”

Leon grinned, embarrassed but warm all over. From Valbar, every word meant the world to him. Aesthetic attraction was much better than nothing. “Wow- you really do pay attention. I’m flattered. I- I didn’t actually know how much you notice. I’m genuinely sort of giddy from it.” Leon dragged his hand through Valbar’s short brunet hair. “Fair’s fair, right? Wanna know how gorgeous you are?”

The mood dropped and Valbar suddenly averted his eyes with a small shake of his head. “Er, no.”

Leon blinked. “What?”

“Leon, I- you know I’m not really a catch physically speaking. I know you love me because of our lives together, but I’m an average sort of guy if we’re being kind.”

Oh no no no. No way.

Leon sat up and folded his arms with a no-nonsense expression. Valbar frowned and propped himself up beside Leon on his elbow. “Leon, I know what you’re about to say-“

“Excuse me?!”

“-there it is.”

“Listen. No. I’m very attracted to you! You, my Valbar, not a catch?!” Leon clutched at his chest dramatically and then reached out to lay his hands on Valbar’s broad pectorals, insistent and determined. “Who made you feel this way? Nevermind- I know. Society’s beauty standards weigh on me as well but please, Valbar. I can’t keep my eyes off of you just because of your caring soul and warm heart. Trust me, I couldn’t be more into you.”

Valbar swallowed and laid back on the bed, head raised against a few pillows. While Leon had initially read him as confident and more experienced, Valbar was shy and uncertain underneath. “I don’t look a thing like you or other handsome blokes.”

Leon couldn’t believe his ears, but he knew exactly what to do. He scooted closer to Valbar, hands sliding up to Valbar’s shoulders as he rested on Valbar’s torso. “Look at me.” Valbar made eye contact with him and Leon’s heart swelled at how vulnerable he looked in the candlelit bed, dark brown eyes round and anxious. “I’ve been attracted to men all my life. I love men,” Leon leaned closer and kissed Valbar’s cheek as he slid his hands back down, voice soft in Valbar’s ear, “-and every lovely shape they come in, yours included.” Leon kissed Valbar directly, sighing as Valbar accepted his warm lips. Leon finally found the hem of Valbar’s shirt and slipped his hands under it, smiling into their kiss as he palmed up Valbar’s stomach with the idea of tossing it off over his head. Valbar panted and Leon could feel his muscles twitching appreciatively under his touch, only breaking the kiss when he discarded Valbar’s shirt. “Much better.”

Really, Leon couldn’t imagine not loving Valbar’s body. His chest and abdomen were bulky and well well muscled, softened by a healthy layer of fat from an active, rigorous, lifestyle. Brunet hair grew all over Valbar’s front, soft and natural under Leon’s hands. Leon eagerly ran his hands up and down, eyes hungrily examining every bit of Valbar from his waist to his broad shoulders. Valbar relaxed as Leon gazed at him, taking the opportunity to stroke Leon’s side, smiling at him fondly. “You know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Oh? You think I’m done?” Leon rubbed Valbar’s shoulders and trailed his hands down his firm triceps and biceps, giving himself permission to bite his own lip. “Hmmm, you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” Leon leaned forward, pleased to notice Valbar blushing, and kissed his collarbone. He dragged his fingertips down Valbar’s arms and finally converged on his chest again as he kissed lower and lower, nose brushing Valbar’s stomach as his kisses neared his waistline.

“Ah- hmmmm.” Valbar trembled slightly below Leon, eyes wide as devoted hands and a soft mouth worshipped him. “Oh my god-“

Leon cheekily toyed with the top of Valbar’s pants. “Too much?”

“Not at all I- um- oh.” Valbar stammered as Leon tugged the rest of his clothing off. Leon didn’t comment on Valbar’s evident arousal, choosing instead to rub one of Valbar’s feet, keen eyes glinting as Valbar groaned. “Ooooh that’s good at the end of the day.”

“Good.” Leon kneaded and pressed with the heel of his palm and his fingers, proud as Valbar reacted well to his foreplay. Leon was determined to not neglect a single inch of him. He pressed upward, hands gliding over Valbar’s calf as he kissed Valbar’s ankle, looking up at him with adoration as he continued his journey upwards again. “It’s been too long since someone touched you gently,” murmured Leon, humming as his hands caressed Valbar’s thigh.

Valbar sighed lowly, eyes half closed with pleasure. He reached down and lovingly pet Leon’s face, breath hitching when Leon kissed his fingers. “C’mere, you’re wearing too much.”

Leon beamed with happiness and giggled as he collapsed up on Valbar’s chest through his own momentum and Valbar’s guiding arms. Simple, soft touches made Leon’s heart swell with delight. Valbar carefully helped Leon out of his shirt and tenderly explored him, marveling in Leon’s flawless skin and elegant figure. “Good?” asked Leon, suddenly understanding Valbar’s initial shyness.

“You could never, ever disappoint me.” Valbar’s low timbre and fond tone found its way to Leon’s core. Leon closed his eyes, wanting to bask in the warm swirl of emotions inside himself and believe it. He groaned lowly, lips parted as Valbar’s thick fingers traced his collarbone and ribs, teasing at his nipples for a moment before dipping down his stomach and caressing his hipbones. “Sensitive?”

“Hmmmmm.” Leon practically purred, absorbing every way their bodies touched. He gave Valbar a hazy eyed look. Valbar, for some reason, was smirking. “What is it, Val?”

“Forgive me, but I have to know.”

It was sudden and caught Leon completely by surprise. “AAAAAHAHAHA!!!!” Leon shrieked with laughter, almost vaulting off the bed as Valbar’s fingers devilishly tickled his sides without mercy. Leon squeaked and his already higher pitched voice rose an octave as he thrashed only for a few seconds before Valbar stopped. Leon still tittered as he tried to muster up a cross expression. “I’ll show you!” His own hands darted to Valbar’s sides and he looked at him expectantly. “Huh?”

Valbar chuckled completely voluntarily. “I’m not ticklish.”

“What?!” Leon tried even harder to tickle him, aggressively skittering his dancing fingers against Valbar’s exposed sides. Nothing. “This is impossible! How dare you?!” He cried out dramatically. “You’re naked and you’ve still got defenses!”

“Lucky, I guess.” Valbar was still amused at Leon’s efforts to try to tickle him. “I don’t start fights I can’t win.” Leon tried to sulk but couldn’t get his overjoyed mood to cooperate. “Let me make it up to you.”

Leon chuffed and gave Valbar a wary look but still crawled up to kiss him again. Heat blossomed in his chest and Leon wound his hands behind Valbar’s neck as they kissed, lazy and languid as they got used to how the other moved. Leon closed his eyes again and shivered as Valbar stroked his sides, firm enough to not set off his ticklish nerves. Valbar’s broad hands rubbed Leon’s back, dipping lower until Leon moaned and reflexively rocked his hips. “Oooooooh, good spot.”

“See? Sensitive is good.”

Leon rolled his eyes mid-sexual pant. “I’ll- hmmm keep touching right there- find your weakness someday!”

Valbar reverently kissed Leon’s neck, relishing in Leon’s soft sounds of want and pleasure. One hand kept massaging the area Leon liked while he ruffled and stroked Leon’s hair with the other, talking lowly as he spoiled Leon with kisses. “I know how much you put into your presentation and appearance, but you’re even better with frizz in your hair and that expression on your face...” Valbar purposefully fluffed Leon’s hair against the deliberate way he’d tamed and perfected it, “-just because no one else gets to see you vulnerable and simply existing.”

Leon wiggled his hips and kicked his pants off. If Valbar wanted all of him, he’d have all of him. He tried to keep his voice from wavering. “And now?”

Valbar surveyed Leon from head to toe, gaze soft and doting with a hushed tone of wonder to match. “Perfect because you’re you, Leon.”

There was nothing between them but warmth and gentleness, skin against skin. Leon’s hair was rumpled and stray strands frizzed out of control. While he was still pretty and slender, Leon’s beauty was plain. Unadorned. Defenseless. They were two people tangled together in a bed, nothing more.

Leon, in his romantic heart, had read about sex before. He’d learned to expect a natural fade into passion, a magical instinct to pull them into coupling, an irresistible tussle of limbs and carnal groans- but it didn’t happen. He was curled up with the most important person in his life, and all he felt an overwhelming wave of calm wash over him. Valbar’s arm around his waist grounded him and comforted him as he laid his head on Valbar’s shoulder, content and already satisfied to his bones. Valbar sensed Leon fitting in more comfortably against him and kissed the top of his head. “Ah, a bit slower is alright. You okay? I’m not a mind reader.”

“I’m wonderful.” Leon smiled up at Valbar, fingertips idly drawing tiny patterns against Valbar’s skin. It was true no one else knew Leon or had seen him like Valbar had- and it went far beyond the sight of Leon’s hair being messy. “If it’s fine by you, I’m actually happy just like this for awhile. I’ve never felt so unconditionally accepted and thoroughly loved in my life.” Leon sighed, surprising himself by being the one who wanted to reign in their activities. “We have plenty of time to learn more and more about loving each other.”

“I agree.” Valbar reached across the bed and pulled their blankets over them, snuggling Leon and nosing his hair. He settled back into their pillows, totally at ease. “We have all the time in the world. This was a huge step for us and I- I didn’t know I wanted you so much. It’s different than how I’ve loved before, but just as strong.”

Leon yawned. “Yes. It’s a lot, and we don’t have to rush.” He playfully nudged Valbar’s leg with his foot. “But if you wanted to speed the process up, you make that spot on my back feel unfairly good.”

“Heh. I’ll remember that.” Valbar scratched Leon’s upper back instead with a hum and Leon dozed in peace. He didn’t think even sexual release could’ve made him feel more complete and cherished than in that moment in Valbar’s arms.

Whenever they did decide to try more forms of intimacy, they’d be ready.

“Valbar?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it always like this?” Leon mused. “Imperfect, improvised, a bit sweaty-“ his hands dived for Valbar’s sides and tickled him in a frenzy, “- and consisting of unfairly rigged tickle fights?!”

Valbar snorted, his complete lack of reaction driving Leon crazy. “You’re still not over how immune I am to tickling?”

“OH COME ON! IT ISN’T FAIR!” Valbar mischievously teased Leon’s stomach and Leon preemptively yelped, both of them laughing again and basking in each other’s affection.

#valeon #fe sov #valbar fire emblem #leon fire emblem #leon/valbar #fanfic #my writing #long post #if my read more doesnt work i Die

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