#source: evilwizard

[incorrectringsofpower]

Sauron, about the Elvish Rings of Power: okay, hold on, time out. that’s not fair. if they’re allowed to shoot energy beams using the power of friendship, i should be able to summon a monster using the power of divorce

[hopeisour4letteredword]

WHOOOO GYAXAPOSTING

[demiboydemon]

Zelda: Storytime- I Talked To That Mysterious Statue You Said Was Cursed ‼️😳🤪

Link: why are you talking like that

Zelda:

Link: is it the curse

Zelda: My Apology Video (I F*cked Up!) 😱 Should Have Listened To My Knight 😓

[incorrectdmp]

Aelethias: okay so. i have put person B’s brain into a trolley. person A is on the tracks. person A and B are divorced. person B has the option to save person A’s life by switching tracks and killing 5 convicted murderers. you are in trolley 2. you can force trolley 1 to change tracks by crashing into it, killing person B in the process. keep in mind that i have put person A’s soul (but not their memories) into the body of a bugbear (which is on your track, and can only be saved if you switch tracks to instead kill a family of satyrs, who don’t die but do reincarnate into trees, which would be great for the environment), and that person B is destined to become a terrible dictator in 78% of all probable timelines. the question is, who should get custody of their child, who now has the soul of a bugbear? (bugbear’s soul had to go somewhere). this is worth 60% of your final score

Devil's Hand: where do yall keep getting these trolleys from

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Because there are only (!) 128 polls this round, I've lowered the queue frequency to 32 posts a day, because that is a nice simple power of 2. After this round, I will change the number of posts per day such that all of the polls will be released in 2 days, so the next one will also have 32 a day, then 16, then 8, etc.

Regardless, here are the competitors for round 1:

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

the-compressor

cantheywinthehungergames

would-you-punt-them

ominous-signs

throckmorton-the-skater

identifying-dogs

identifying-cat-phenotypes

alphabetcompletionist

the-official-netherlands

rat-detector-detector-detector

yesornopolls

how-many-evil-flags

crane-detector

onionpainter

i-make-things-snakes

onenicebugperday

no-stupid-questions-official

i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat

hot-take-tournament

cantheykillmacbeth

bear-detector

localairport

cat-spotted

probablybadrpgideas

parentheses-posts

ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit

mcmansionhell

ofishal-fish-posts

really-fucked-up-stimboards

identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts

the-actual-ocean

pointless-achievements

making-your-fave-in-fr

creatures-in-posts

e-counter

is-the-post-reliable

the-timeloop-tourney

smashorpassgilf

ginger-ale-official

official-boob-posts

earth-updates-today

rat-detector

making-you-in-ponytown

haveyouatethisfruit

cantheysurvive2001aspaceodyssey

does-this-require-cyanobacteria

mammalidentifier

kittybroker

pokemonbattletournament

reallybadblackoutpoems

postsofbabel

incorrectconspiracytheorist

arewebeholdingaman

lowpolyanimals

united-states-health-care

snailifier

the-actual-catacombs

identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

parappa-raps

little-bitch-detector

blood-heritage-posts

scp-threats-is-back

fake-post-archive

one-time-i-dreamt

shirtsthatgohard

tf2heritageposts

rat-detector-334

in-the-bible

identifying-horses-in-posts

peoplegettingkindamadatfood

official-mantis-shrimp-posts

whatcoloristhatcat

identifying-maille-weaves

things-that-are-not-true

terriblerealestateagentphotos

good-pokemon-center-reviews

characters-with-garlic-bread

same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

shrimpradar

identifying-cars-in-posts

official-wasp-posts

identifying-birds

carbon-monoxide-detector

sealsdaily

counter-facts-i-just-made-up

validwarriorcatsnames

i-type-things

hellsite-hall-of-fame

content-free

eroticismofthemachinedetector

asciicompletionist

givingyouarandompathogen

my-hobby-is-finding-the-source

would-you-eat-them

apolladay

evilwizard

official-knight-posts

fluttershywheresheshouldntbe

card-of-the-day

writing-prompt-s

memes-to-show-the-past

can-they-lift-thors-hammer

couldtheybecouldtheybekira

randomalienencounter

is-jk-rowling-dead-yet

amphibianaday

chicago-mentioned

critter-creature-or-beast

yeahokayillreblogthat

maryland-officially

whoishotteranimepolls

official-linguistics-post

blorbo-court

detector-rat

making-you-in-atlyss

i-give-you-a-fish

i-make-things-spheres

amongus-text-detector

alonglistofbirds

girl-detector

mouse-spotted

dear-ao3

googlyeyesonmagiccards

baba-is-blog

rat-detector-detector

xkcd-for-that

ace-attorney-smash-or-pass

binas-official

i-say-ok

couldtheycatchkira

identifying-typewriters-in-posts

post-store

same-picture-of-benson-every-day

bestanimal

secondbeatsongs

musical-posts

todays-xkcd

am-i-the-asshole-official

the-glitter-painter

eggblackoutpoetry

rating-shittysawtraps

translatingpostsinfrench

the-blahaj

transit-fag

lichenaday

i-identify-guns-in-posts

front-facing-pokemon

thoughts-of-eel

official-crab-posts

making-you-in-roblox

aita-blorbos

doyoulikethissong-poll

flametexting-posts

dailyhatsune

cat-identifier

dailyquests

the-magenta-painter

haveyouheardthisband

i-make-things-into-faces

the-haiku-bot

ao3org

would-they-survive

making-you-in-sticky-business

catcrumb

wtf-scientific-papers

reading-comp-wrong-answers

c-counter

randomitemdrop

gimmick-thief-thief

simplified-birds

i-make-things-content-aware

ca-dmv-bot

rotating-donuts-blog

couldtheybekira

contextfreepatentart

fixing-bad-posts

the-icy-painter

jesus-holding-your-fave

making-you-in-lps

is-destiel-canon-yet

it-hurts-to-post

aistobascistod

shit-hdb-would-say

hitboxesonstockimages

howdotheyliketheirsteak

its-wednesday-sparkle-on

certifiednewyorkposts

todaysbird

the-disempunctuationer

theyshapedlikefriends

massachusetts-official

theshitpostcalligrapher

fish-identifier

snake-spotted

banjobebleping

relevant-wikipedia-articles

shark-detector

gimmickblog-taxonomist

peeledpokemon

bovineblogger

periodiccompletionist

ohio-thestate

bible-word-counter

gimmick-thief

three-dee-ess

cool-rocks-official

bugthingsdaily

is-it-out-of-touch-thursday

todays-problematic-ship

your-fave-as-owl

whatsthebird

accidental-homestuck

what-day-of-the-week

househeritageposts

fox-detector

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

worlds-worst-ships

dyktvideogamesfx

official-olm-posts

lesserknowncryptids

hands-you-a-spatula

transparentcatpngs

the-reverser

charl0ttan

is-deltarune-tomorrow

official-cannibalism-posts

magic-vending-machine

statistical-distr-of-polls

dog-spotted

can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture

dailypokemoncrochet

post-uwuifier

makingyourfavindti

was-house-fruity

textposttropes

free-post-store

sat-a-day

wouldyoudoitforaklondikebar

where-is-tom-scott-today

littleguysdaily

badjokesbyjeff

identifying-planes-in-posts

doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter

making-you-in-mc

walmart-the-official

tf2-post-archive

making-u-a-cube

identifying-guns-in-posts

postanagramgenerator

punctuation-completionist

i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

colourpickingpride

incognitopolls

shittysawtraps

i-give-olms-to-people

[dollsandmasks]

The most important guys on the Uncanny Streets are struggling to schedule their thing

This is why the Taxi Driver's heads got stolen by a Wonderer, they just got their tendrils tangled

Shaman is being the best as usual

Anyway, enamemes it is

The original post: https://www.tumblr.com/evilwizard/780812902518145024?source=share

[omagpies]

https://www.tumblr.com/evilwizard/746264919109926912?source=share

Ooh hoo hoo I wanna see you do this one if you want

hoarded, thank you!

[incorrectringsofpower]

[Season 3, probably]

Pharazôn: it’s time to face the facts—the only way to revitalize our small town’s economy is a three hundred meter tall Morgoth Temple

Eärien: how does this work? well, we believe people will flock from far and wide to rescue their loved ones from being sacrificed within the temple. and in future generations when the temple is full, its notoriety will ensure that it remains a popular tourist attraction

Kemen: it’s an opportunity economy! the opportunity is to be sacrificed within the vault of gold and shadows

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: what is the difference between a witch and a wizard?

JADE: wizards are mathematicians and physicists, while witches are chemists and biologists!

ROSE: Warlocks, sadly, are business majors.

[ebonshward]

@evilwizard you have breached containment.

I just found this on another of my meme sources

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Are your ready for round 2? I'm feeling weirdly paranoid that I made a mistake somewhere, so I'll hold off on posting the polls for a bit. If you see someone who shouldn't be here, then make sure to yell at me

As always, here is the list of competitors in this one:

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

would-you-punt-them

ominous-signs

identifying-cat-phenotypes

alphabetcompletionist

yesornopolls

how-many-evil-flags

i-make-things-snakes

no-stupid-questions-official

hot-take-tournament

cantheykillmacbeth

cat-spotted

probablybadrpgideas

ifitwasediblewouldyoueatit

ofishal-fish-posts

the-actual-ocean

pointless-achievements

creatures-in-posts

is-the-post-reliable

smashorpassgilf

official-boob-posts

rat-detector

haveyouatethisfruit

does-this-require-cyanobacteria

kittybroker

reallybadblackoutpoems

incorrectconspiracytheorist

lowpolyanimals

snailifier

identifying-spacecraft-in-posts

little-bitch-detector

fake-post-archive

one-time-i-dreamt

tf2heritageposts

identifying-horses-in-posts

official-mantis-shrimp-posts

whatcoloristhatcat

things-that-are-not-true

good-pokemon-center-reviews

same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day

identifying-cars-in-posts

identifying-birds

counter-facts-i-just-made-up

validwarriorcatsnames

hellsite-hall-of-fame

eroticismofthemachinedetector

my-hobby-is-finding-the-source

apolladay

evilwizard

fluttershywheresheshouldntbe

memes-to-show-the-past

can-they-lift-thors-hammer

randomalienencounter

amphibianaday

critter-creature-or-beast

maryland-officially

official-linguistics-post

detector-rat

i-give-you-a-fish

alonglistofbirds

girl-detector

dear-ao3

baba-is-blog

xkcd-for-that

i-say-ok

couldtheycatchkira

same-picture-of-benson-every-day

secondbeatsongs

musical-posts

am-i-the-asshole-official

eggblackoutpoetry

translatingpostsinfrench

transit-fag

front-facing-pokemon

official-crab-posts

aita-blorbos

doyoulikethissong-poll

cat-identifier

dailyquests

haveyouheardthisband

the-haiku-bot

would-they-survive

catcrumb

reading-comp-wrong-answers

randomitemdrop

simplified-birds

ca-dmv-bot

couldtheybekira

fixing-bad-posts

jesus-holding-your-fave

is-destiel-canon-yet

aistobascistod

hitboxesonstockimages

its-wednesday-sparkle-on

todaysbird

theyshapedlikefriends

theshitpostcalligrapher

snake-spotted

relevant-wikipedia-articles

gimmickblog-taxonomist

bovineblogger

ohio-thestate

gimmick-thief

cool-rocks-official

is-it-out-of-touch-thursday

whatsthebird

accidental-homestuck

fox-detector

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

official-olm-posts

lesserknowncryptids

transparentcatpngs

is-deltarune-tomorrow

official-cannibalism-posts

statistical-distr-of-polls

can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture

post-uwuifier

textposttropes

free-post-store

wouldyoudoitforaklondikebar

littleguysdaily

identifying-planes-in-posts

making-you-in-mc

making-u-a-cube

identifying-guns-in-posts

punctuation-completionist

incognitopolls

shittysawtraps

[vsgroundnet]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Maybe aim me just a little bit to the right and I'll reach it. Also, this will be a valuable lesson, since the Moon is a mana source and I wanna be a wizard too some day!

By the way, you want something when I get back @evilwizard?

shoot for the moon. even if you miss, you’ll collect trajectory data that will prove invaluable for the next volley. *grips you by the shoulders* we’re gonna get that fuckin moon, buddy

[incorrectringsofpower]

Annatar: [with a dark and evil aura surrounding him] I'm shy

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

ROSE: If you are all so desperate for a black circle with a bright ring around it in the sky, why not consider adding a small black hole to the solar system? Could be kind of fun?

JADE: theres a "ninth planet" out toward the kupier belt that we cant find but we know its mass based on the effects it has on the other planets and bodies in the area!!

JADE: one of the theories on why we couldnt find the damn thing was that it was a black hole the size of a grapefruit which is the funniest semi-serious suggestion ive heard in a scientific forum in a long time

ROSE: Bring it to me.

ROSE: I will eat it like the grapefruit.

[megalodonpussy]

So I decided to look into this a little as a chemistry student and here’s what I found.

Of course you can melt bones in acid but I’m assuming we’re benevolent wizards who want to heal the bones. I know I’m rebloging from “evilwizard” and the original post is about it being fucked up but I’m personally benevolent, use this information as you wish.

Also I think they were getting gravity and pressure confused which is unfortunate but understandable.

Bones aren’t straight up calcium they’re a whole bunch a stuff, mainly (almost 50%) calcium oxide which is why where the misconception comes from. Also phosphate (about 40%) and more! As bone it forms something truly fucked called hydroxyapatite, but there’s little data on how to liquify that so let’s take it as components.

Note: I’m so mad that the best summary of bone composition uses the wrong formula for phosphate life is pain.

Let’s focus on calcium oxide first. It can’t actually exist as a liquid happily, it’s gonna bond to other shit notably titanium, zirconium and aluminum which aren’t that available in a human body BUT it can also bond to CO2! Making the iconic calcium carbonate ei. Limestone!

I think this phase diagram is fairly understandable, in order to have it at a liquid state calcium carbonate must be at a temperature above 1300 C and pressure above 120 bar. Note that room pressure is 1 bar, that’s some fucking powerful wizard magic.

Phosphate is also not fucking happy on its own. There’s a bunch of bad ideas like phosphoric acid (very corrosive) but honestly as a wizard I would probably make the sodium salt of it which dissolves in water. It’s also body safe (used as a strong laxative) though I don’t know if that’s really a concern considering your patient currently has liquid limestone in them.

What you should take away from this is that before performing said wizard spell you should tell your patient to eat a bunch of salt so you have a sodium source and hold their breath so you have a CO2 source.

how fucked up would the spell "liquify calcium" be. honestly

[incorrectringsofpower]

Dark Wizard, to Gandalf: wizard tip of the day: i can and will kill again