#source: perchance incorrect quote generator

[stilesonthehunt]

Peter: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Derek, raises eyebrows: ...

Peter: Oh, right. The lying.

[incorrectneopetsquotes]

Dr. Landelbrot: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small. Lord Darigan: I would say infinitesimally. King Skarl: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

[tk5reader]

Han: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Mando recently.

Luke: No, Han, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Din: *confusion* ?

Han: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Luke: No! You’re the only one for me.

Din: *panicked confusion* ?!?

Han: Is that so?

Luke: I promise! Din and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.

Din: *bewildered confusion* …?

Han: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Luke: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more!

Din: *baffled confusion* ..??

Han: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Luke: Of course bro!

Han: Bro...

Din: What the-

@dinlukeweek June 24: Mermaid/Sailor / Comedic Miscommunication

[onceandfuturelesbian]

arthur: when you said ‘magic in bed’, i wasn’t expecting this…

merlin: *pulls card from deck* is this your card?

arthur: holy fu-

[definitelyincorrect]

Steve: Did you have to stab them?

Bucky: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Steve: What did they say?

Bucky: “What are you going to do? Stab me?”

Steve: That’s fair.

[tales-from-the-hexlab]

Jayce: Do you want to know your gay name?

Viktor: My... my gay name?

Jayce: Yeah, it's your first name-

Viktor: Haha. Very funny Jayce-

Jayce: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Viktor: Oh- oh my god.

[incorrect-our-flag-means-death]

Ed, at Izzy’s funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone, leaving: Of course.

Ed, leaning over Izzy’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Izzy: Yeah, no shit.

[qsmpincorrect]

Phil: Wow, they really hate us.

Missa: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Phil: But we’re not gay, Missa.

Missa:

Phil:

Missa: We’re not?

[the-herdier]

Ponyboy: *sneaking in through their window*

Darry: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* "You want to tell me where you've been all night?"

Ponyboy: "I was with Soda?"

Soda: *turning in their chair* "Wanna try again?"

[incorrect-star-allies]

Magolor: What is Kirby to you?

Meta Knight: The reason I wake up every morning.

Magolor: ...That’s adorable.

*Earlier that day*

Kirby, bursting into Meta Knight’s room banging pots and pans: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

[iamfujoshiwe]

Pete, near tears : I have the sex appeal of a math book! Vegas : Well it's actually true. Whenever I opened math book in school my first thought was always “fuck me”.

[stilesonthehunt]

Stiles: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Scott or Derek periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’

Stiles: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going

[incorrectneopetsquotes]

King Roo: Fruits that do not live up to their names? Passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew, draikfruit. King Roo: Fruits that do live up to their names? King Roo: Orange.

[the-black-bulls]

Magna, talking about Luck: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO?!

[onceandfuturelesbian]

morgana: i spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter ‘S’

gwaine: *looks at merlin and arthur*

gwaine: is it ‘sexual tension’?

[iz1331]

Lydia: I'm gonna need a human skull, but you can't ask why.

Betelgeuse: Only if you also don't ask why.

Betelgeuse: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag*

Lydia: ...

Lydia, grabbing a skull: This one will do.