#stop treating elves like they're all the same

[postcardsfromheapside]

This game has been out since Halloween.

In that time, there have been numerous Veilguard positive posts in which patient, loving, wonderful, insightful and intelligent individuals attempt to impart lore onto a fanbase which doesn't deserve their time and attention.

I can't believe I'm running across posts made within the past five days which express disgust and frustration towards the devs over things which have been explained in great detail multiple times on this site, BUT IN THE DAMN GAME.

AND Y'ALL KEEP COMPLAINING THE GAME TELLS BUT DOESN'T SHOW. AND YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN OR WATCH.

"the crows are presented as wholesome" - they are not. this site has a crow fanbase which has run off and lionized Viago as Daddy, conveniently ignored all the in-game details which either hint or baldly state things Definitely Aren't Cool, and generally fetishized what it means to be a Crow because of Zevran and Lucanis. Then the same people, or others who weren't paying proper attention, whined when the headcanon crowded out the actual in-game material, and they said "Antiva is whitewashed." There have been multiple posts about this.

"slaves are meant to be everywhere in Tevinter and we don't see that" - we aren't everywhere, we're specifically in Docktown which is poor and people generally can't afford slaves there, but we do see evidence of slavery, and we run around with abolitionists and help save people from fascist slavers and free people who will either be slaves or victims of blood magic so IDK what to tell you, there have been multiple posts explaining this too, maybe leave your slave or savior fetish somewhere else.

"Racism is supposed to be rampant" - fuck off. I actually will not be explaining this because for once it was nice not to be called a slur. If you need this to feel "immersed" or to feel there are actual problems, I need you to check yourself fucking hard. If you want to masquerade what it feels like to experience bigotry, go play one of the prior games. This has also been discussed in multiple posts.

"Handling pure lyrium is fine now" no handling the dagger is fine Solas cleansed it, the dagger woke something up in Harding specifically she talks about how some dwarves are connected to the stone, she previously had not been one of them and maybe the dagger woke something up in her, or did you need a pop up explaining this? Were you paying attention during cut scenes and dialogue?

"Adult Dalish without vallaslin" - in the 10 years since Inquisition/Trespasser, doubtless some dalish have come to adulthood and found out what assholes their gods were and made the decision not to go through that specific cultural rites. Or maybe city elves joined the Dalish. Who knows who made up the elf population at that ritual site. Elves are not a monolith. We've made multiple, multiple posts about elves not being monoliths.

"Solas' opinion on blood magic went from neutral to negative" SOLAS FUCKING LIES. We've made multiple posts about Solas lying, if you need this explained further I suggest you play the game all over again, he lies to you throughout the entire game.

"Re-write of the after credits scene in Inquisition to recontextualise the Flemeth and Solas interaction" it's recontextualized because now we know who and what they were to each other. Learning new information does that. This is literally what happens all the time in science and history. You recontextualize what you thought you knew with new information. You're supposed to change your position, not whine about how the new information makes everything different.

These are just some of the things I pulled from a list on a post in which someone was really just upset about everything. Everything. Varric, Morrigan, Solas, everything. But I can't take their criticisms seriously, because they're upset that "too much was told" and "not enough shown" and yet didn't even pay attention to DA lore or in-game dialogue or context clues around the world of Northern Thedas to answer their own questions.

Everything in this game makes complete sense if you use lore from prior games and a single iota of imagination to see how it fits. We've had many delightful posts discussing this, seeing how things could be explained, when approaching the game from a place of curiosity rather than being upset because personal headcanons weren't satisfied or long-held expectations weren't met.

[yanderenightmare]

Okay this isn’t a request but I can’t stop thinking about what if yandere orc and captive human reader bonding over their shared hatred of elves? Because it’s the only thing they agree on since elves are assholes

♡ AN: This ain't what you asked for, but I had my own ideas. Hope you still like it!

♡ TW: nsfw, noncon, different from my usual stuff, evil-ish reader, dom reader, male domination, yandere-ish reader?, racism between humans, orcs, and elves, elf supremacists, slavery, sounding, threesome, male on male action...

♡ FEM reader

They levelled your town in one day. 

Why? To build themselves a palace. 

And to the people living there—your people—they had this to say: if you want to stay, you could come and work as palace servants. 

The funny thing is, they hadn’t even meant it as some cruel joke—no, they were serious. To them, that’s not mercy, but charity, thinking that living in the lower levels of the palace and waiting on them hand and foot would give you a higher purpose than living in your cottages and tending to your farms. 

They’re arrogant and selfish, the lot of them. They didn’t even build the palace themselves. No, they used Orcs they’d captured in the ongoing war. All wearing cuffs on their hands and feet, chained to each other like animals, parched and starved, breaking their backs in the heat. 

To think Elves view themselves as noble creatures when they’re using slave labor is beyond you.

As the daughter of one of the families that were forced out of their home, you have no other choice but to accept work at the castle, doing so with gritted teeth and clenched fists. You’re one of the many chambermaids who tend to the Prince’s quarters. 

It’s his palace. Or no… It’s his country palace. They levelled your town to build him a fucking vacation home.

He’s a real prick, too. You’re convinced the species is pretty just to hide the fact that they're decrepit on the inside, the way he uses the staff as his own personal harem. Bending you over anywhere he so wishes, any time he wants—treating it as though you should be flattered he even took notice of you as he fists your hair and sullies your insides with his spend.

For the chance of getting as far away from his stuck-up entitled ass as possible, you take on other tasks. Among many, one of them includes feeding the orc inmates in the dungeon.

Anything is better than catering to the Prince. And yet… despite those true words, you’d perhaps been a bit brave-faced when you accepted the task… While, despite your hatred of the Elves and your more than critical view of how they treat the Orcs, you can’t deny being a little scared as you walk the cold dungeon hallways with trays of slop made from whatever leftovers the Elves allowed. It’s not so different from feeding caged beasts, after all—you could easily have your arms ripped off.

But at the same time, you have to growl, seeing the way they’ve crammed four or five of the big creatures into the same cell, muttering under your breath as you stomp, “Can’t believe they made you build your own cages and still had the audacity to make you live on top of each other… fucking elves, pompous pricks can all go fuck themselves.”

“Why so angry, human girl?” one of them asks, standing ready behind the bars as you place a tray in the food slot. His voice is deep and grumbling, a little worn from labor—and so are his looks, though big and tough, his shoulders are slumped where he stands, green skin looking a little ashen, accepting the tray despite it having no meat.

It’s clear that the Elves plan on working them until they die—they’re not even feeding them their main food source. After which, they’re probably just going to fill the cells up with new Orcs they’ve caught in their unjust war for supremacy.

“I just…” You sigh, placing another tray in the slot, still just mumbling as if to yourself. “I just wish I could do something.”

The Orc hums, passing the trays back to his fellow cellmates, accepting the third one you put in the slot.

“How ‘bout you just focus on gettin’ us something better to eat than this pig mash.”

To your surprise, he doesn’t sound angry. Not at you, at least. If anything, he sounds friendly. As if… well, as if the two of you were on the same side. 

And coming to think of it… You were. 

The Orcs were in cages because they’re a force of nature, but the Elves hadn’t deemed it necessary for you. No, you weren’t even given the respect of being acknowledged as a threat. You were just… pets.

Yes… No different from the Orcs, dungeon or not, you were also unjustly held prisoners here.

You clench your fists, then nod your head. “I’ll see what I can do.”

That’s how it begins. After rallying your friends in the kitchens, you’re rounding up whatever you can find. Bones that hadn’t been picked clean, unsucked marrow within, parts of the animal the elves are too snooty to eat. 

Elves are wasteful creatures, and so it doesn’t prove too hard to find more food. You get the Orcs looking like their old selves after a while. And suddenly, what had started as missionary work ends up with you at the helm of The Cause.

With your orc friend being the leader of the Orcs, you become the leader of the human side, both organizing the rebellion. You swipe the keys from the Elf guard on one of your food deliveries—vain as he and his kind are, he’s overrun with pride upon you complimenting his long hair, he’s completely blind to see your plan. He doesn’t even notice his keys are missing before you’ve already gone ahead and freed the Orcs.

Caught off guard, the palace is easily taken. It was actually a little anticlimactic. The Elves, drunk on wine and their own superiority, very nearly surrendered, the way they barely had the sense to fight back. By the time they fully understood what was going on, it was already too late for them.

And now, here you are. In the royal chambers once again. Though, this time, it isn’t you getting fucked against your will.

“Having fun, my prince?” you coo, admiring his pale porcelain skin blush with deep shades of pink and sweat, breathing in shivers before you, muzzled like an animal as he takes it like one too.

You have to smile—sultry voice soft and smooth, taking him in as you strip him of his pride. “Like taking thick orc cock up your lordly elven ass."

Strung up by his hands, hanging from the ceiling like a slab of meat, his toes can’t even so much as graze the marble floor as he all but sits on the member at his back.

You can see the fat outline of it in his slim waist, poking out as if he’s pregnant. But that’s not all….

“Mh, must feel good by the looks of you,” you tease, flicking his upright cock, watching it bob and beg for attention. “Just look at this tiny elven prick of yours—see how much it’s weeping?” You snicker, “Jealous your ass is the only thing getting played with…” 

Snaring the head between your thumb and pointer, you tighten around it just like a noose and stare at the way it makes more pearls ooze out and dribble down the length. 

“Tch, spoiled, aren’t you?”

You let go, wiping your hand on his nipple, looking him in his misty eyes, pretty lashes hooked and heavy with teardrops.

“But don’t worry, your highness, I have something for that, too.”

You bring out the silver hairpin you’d taken from his hair. About two inches long with a pretty crystal flower on the end—truly marvelous craftsmanship. You stroke it up and down the length of his dick until he understands what you plan on doing with it.

“It woudln’t be a real royal cock without some jewelry, right?”

He shakes his head, scared, eyes filled with terror and even fatter tears than before. Spurred by it, you continue stroking him in your hand, toying with him as you switch between looking him in his sparkly eyes and into his little cockhole as you carefully ease the pin inside it, blocking him from both cumming and pissing himself.

You have to sneer at the way it makes him shake, watching his thighs flex and his eyes roll back as if he fucking likes it. The thought makes you happy. To think, all this time he’s been asserting himself, and really, what he’s been longing for and needing is to get his guts rearranged and his cock put in time out.

“That’s not all, my Prince.”

Fetching two silk ribbons, you circle one around his base, capturing both his cock and balls, tying it up into a pretty bow—the other you use to wrangle his ballsack, noosing it tightly before finished it off the same way. 

“There you go—all done.”

He continues to shake where he hangs. His cock in a silk prison—looking like a tamed animal. Twitching still, bobbing every time he gets his prostate massaged by the fat occupant making a home in his ass.

“No choice but to dry cum, my Prince.”

Keeping a fist locked around his cock while the other handles the crystal rose, you continue to gently prod and prop his urethra. Sadistically playing with it to your heart’s content, watching his face contort in a mix of pain and pleasure with a sick simper on your face.

“Let me see how much you love getting both your holes fucked.” 

It doesn’t take long before his body shivers and seizes up. Muscles tight and nipples hard, he throws his head back and to the side, resting on your Orc friend's shoulder as he shamefully loses all sense, chest heaving as it takes him. Sounds leaving him like a kicked puppy, or a happy whore—you can’t decide. Somehow, he looks like both—the way his brows are cinched up while his hips do their best to ride it out, knees bending and toes curling in the air.

“There you go, good boy,” you praise in mockery. Watching the sweat pill on his cheeks as his head drops. You’re sure, if it weren’t for the muzzle, you’d even see his tongue fall out and pant. 

You smile, looking at the way his thighs still quiver, looking downright pathetic.

“That’s a good look on you,” you say, taking a step back to further admire it. Cocking your head to the side, raking up and down his entire shivering body. Shaking your head. “But it wouldn’t be right calling you a prince no more…”

You lift your hand, thumbing your cheek as if in thought.

Humming, “No… right now you look more like…” Stepping up to him, you flick his dick again with a laugh. “Our bitch.”

Marching to the bed, you ball up your grey dress and lift it off over your head before casting it aside, naked as you snap your fingers.

“Cut him down and bring him to me. But don't stop fucking him.”

You make yourself comfortable in the royal bed while your Orc friend does as you say, cutting loose his hands, switching it out with a big hand wrapped around his neck—two fingers enough to choke the life out of him. He keeps him fully stuffed while walking him over to you.

Harshly, he drops him stomach-first down on the bed, then bends both his arms behind his back, using his grip on them to continue fucking in and out of him from behind, just like you ordered.

Gathering his silken hair, you make a ponytail in a fist behind his head. Holding him up by it and a mean grip on his chin.

“You make me cum, bitch-boy, and I’ll release your little dicky, okay?”

He just makes a sound like an animal. You have to scoff at the display before freeing him of the muzzle. And, desperate as he is, you don’t even have to explain it to him before he’s got his face buried between your thighs. Nose on your clit and lips sealed around your lips, tongue swiping through your slit before pressing inside you.

“Fuck—” Caught off guard, you throw your head back against the plush headboard, curling your toes into the soft sheets, but it’s a welcome surprise.

Tangling both hands into his silken locks, braiding them between your fingers while you moan. “Good boy…”

You look down at him with a bite to your lip, staring into those pretty eyes of his, all shiny like gemstones, while loose strands of hair cling to his dewy skin, looking more beautiful than ever, now that he’s on his knees.

Your smile returns. “What a sight—pretty elf getting his ass ploughed and his face used by us lowly creatures.” And then you laugh. “What would dear old daddy say if he saw you like this?”

That seems to bring some fight back into him, the way his face twitches. And yet, when he speaks, his voice is so airy and soft, you hardly even recognize him. “He’ll come for me... You... you’ll all pay.”

It isn’t much of a warning. In fact, the words sound more like surrender. And so, you just croon, “Will he now?” Amused by him where he lies, twitching in his own mess, wincing and moaning, barely able to talk and yet begging for more with everything except for words.

All in all, in no position to be making threats.

You tug on his hair a little tighter in your fists and grin savagely. “Well… if he wants his son back unharmed, he’s gonna do what we say, now isn’t he?”

The light in his eyes flickers, and oh, how pretty a sight it is.

“That’s right.” You grin—power you’ve never felt before rushing through your limbs, everything making your lower belly roar in demand of more. “So shut up and lick.”

You push him back in place. He lands with a “mmph,” and the look on his face goes back to that of a puppy begging for scraps.

It doesn’t take long before it all sends you over the edge. Screaming, “Oh fuck!” so loud it echos against the marble, while you cum on his face and ride it out against his tongue.

Left panting in the pillows as you come down, you lie there a minute before sliding off the mattress.

You get down on your knees at the bedside, reaching beneath him. You pull the tail of each bow, releasing his poor reddened dick, before lastly slowly easing the pin out of his dickhole. 

He cums immediately. Whole body shaking. Tongue out, cheek mushed, drooling on the bedsheets with his eyes dazed and misty.

You cross your arms on the bed’s edge, resting your cheek against your arm, admiring him—or rather, admiring what had become of him, what you’d done to him.

“Just so you know…” Stroking his hair, you watch him continue to mew while his cock leaks, a new spurt each time his ass takes it balls deep. “After my friend here is done with you, I have another dozen angry orcs waiting their turn." You giggle. "They’re gonna make use of you like a toilet.” 

You speak softly, intimately, whispering to him like a god would to their lover. “And you wanna know what more? I’m gonna make sure you cum until you like it.”

It’s funny, but you think you can spot a small smile on his lips, so lost in the pleasure as he already is.

“You’re not even gonna wanna leave when Daddy dearest comes for you.”

♡ BNHA – orc Bakugou & elf Shoto, orc Deku & elf Bakugou, orc Enji & elf Hawks ♡ JJK – orc Sukuna & elf Gojo, orc Toji & elf Gojo, orc Toji & elf Naoya, orc Toji & elf Geto ♡ HQ – elf Oikawa, elf Atsumu, elf Lev, elf Sakusa, elf Kuro ♡ BLLK – orc Shido & elf Rin, orc Kunigami & elf Chigiri, elf Reo, orc Aiku, orc Baro, elf Sae

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 9 Part 1

Welcome back! I hear you loud and clear. Cover images are fine, as long as they aren't actively spoilery. Now, join me for a very interesting volume!

Today, we go on an ADVENTURE!

It's a good thing you're both so naturally good looking, cause neither of you can style for shit.

As much as I love their relationship, Marcille is definitely pretty controlling, especially early on here. She does improve a lot by the end of the manga though.

Can't really blame them. Between the Asivia disaster, and just, elves in general (Seriously, name a single elf in this story who isn't problematic in some way.), they are right to be wary. I like how each of them has a particular hangup with her. Chilchuck is particularly worried about another Asivia, Shuro doesn't want a total noob, and Namari is a dwarf about it.

They're just such good friends guys.

Thank you random background NPC for agreeing with me.

An important image.

God, I love my two idiot children.

Gosh dang it Dandan, so it was your fault? Also, I have to wonder how medical fraud works in a world with healing magic. Like, what could be possibly be pretending to have that Falin couldn't heal?

You were only mostly dead. And mostly dead, means a little alive.

Lol

Seriously, of all our main characters, she's the only one whose relative age I can't really figure out. Honestly, at this point, I'm starting to suspect she is reletively younger than Falin. Half-elves sure are confusing! While most of the other races have maturity rates proportional to their average lifespan, Half-elves age quicker than elves, but have a much longer lifespan. So who knows.

Three guesses what he does literally two seconds later. The last two don't count.

You know, with how precisely shapeshifters and succubi can extract this sort of information, makes me wonder how easy mindreading would be for a mage. Like, these are scrub-tier monsters wielding some seriously potent telepathy.

It's really sad, isn't it? She's been treated poorly for so long, she's had it drilled into her that she is a freak of a human, when in fact she is a very talented cat.

Izutsumi: Screw you guys. I don't need no one.

Izutsumi two seconds later: Gotta go save my friends!

Moral of the story: Chilchuck thinks the whole party is pretty.

Izutsumi has had just about enough of this nonsense.

Pro tip for all my succubus readers. If you're just mimicking someone's type, like Chilchuck, hordes work great. But if you're mimicking a specific person, the trick stops working if there are multiples. Makes it kinda obvious that it's a trick.

There is something darkly humorous about the fake mothers being defeated by killing their babies.

That's altogether, truly, enough of this nonsense. Actually, the fact that they stayed the same, can succubi only transform once? Or maybe there is just a long cooldown on switching forms?

:3

Presented without comment.

Probably because Kui the dungeon lords are inspired by those old myths. Pity demons aren't real.

Things are getting juicy! Stay tuned for part two.

[dragon-susceptible]

TDP Rewatch: S3 E2: The Crown

I am Fucking Exhausted from my week, and watching the show always reinvigorates my creative energy for writing, so let's go.

Callum got the recap voice!

Can we talk about how they put Ezran, this ten year old boy, to bed in the King's Chambers? There's so many rooms in castles like that. He had his own bedroom from being a prince that he could have gone back to for comfort. Instead, because he's king, they put him to bed, let him go sleep, in the room his father died in, violently, like two weeks ago. Oof? Like, okay, as king, realistically, he probably would have moved in there eventually. But after everything he's been through, straight there? Really? Ouch.

Fuck. Ezran taking Harrow's crown out to the same balcony went to think, and talking to his pet the way Harrow talked to Pip that morning.

Callum is So Excited about Xadia, and all the magic everywhere, it's so cute, and Rayla's just as excited about sharing it. I love these kids so much. But also ouch, she's so convinced the other elves will help them get to the Storm Spire faster. She still hasn't put together what they must have assumed when the other assassins didn't come back. Has she even admitted to herself that they're dead yet?

Bless those two guards that play with Ezran at the king's doors. Crossing their polearms and uncrossing them as he moves them. He needed that. That was so cute. The guard to Ez's left (our right, watching), even started smiling too.

Barius and the guards are trying SO HARD to make this kid feel better, and I love them so much for it. The one guard just repeating all of Ezran's questions, and then the other going "The king requests you stop repeating!" "Uhhh. .. ." and then just slumping forward as he admits, "I realized as soon as I said it." Im. I love them so much.

Corvus too! "All packed for your journey to the throne?" and then So Awkward with refusing Ezran's offers of jelly tarts.

Corvus doesn't even look fazed when Opeli scolds him and says he won't be allowed in the council meeting. I 100% think he was just already mentally planning how to sneak in and eavesdrop anyway, and Ezran just made it easier by requesting him. Specifically. Again bless that one guard for joking like "That checks out." after.

Man I have complicated feelings about Opeli. I love her but she hits so many archetypes of people that I hate/things that have hurt me, but gods is she so fucking funny. She's obviously trying so hard to be this dignified, composed woman of the cloth while having a loud temper and being a petty bitch, and I love that for her. The BOOMING for the Crow Lord after her first request didn't work lmao.

wait wait I'm dying, they really just dropped the lore that the Crow Lord's position isn't by royal appointment OR by merit and skated right past it. If the Crow Lord dies, the Crow Master takes his place. What the fuck. Why aren't we talking about this. Who set up this system? Why does it work like that?? This is like if the head of the Postal Department dies Assistant Postal Director took the spot permanently until death. This is being treated like a presidency crossed with a Supreme Court Judge position in US government. If that's how it works, where did the position come from in the first place?? Is that why Crow Master is a lower rank than Crow Lord?

Poor little Ezran's feet don't even touch the ground when he sits in that throne. He has to climb to get in it. And he has to deal with all this shit now.

Bless the "That checks out." guard guy, I love him.

The Melodaisies lmao.

Rayla's such a little shit. "Stop and smell this one!" about the flatu-lillies.

Everyone's bored already dealing with the poor Crow Master waiting for him to find the urgent messages.

Okay okay, so. digs up my notes on the episode where Viren dispatched the assassins. So King Florian and Queen Fareeda are dead. "Andromeda's shade is sent to Del Bar. Ram's is sent to Neolandia. Callisto is sent to Evenere. Skor is sent to Duren." So Andromeda and Callisto succeeded. Ram only managed to "gravely injure" King Ahling. There's no such news of violence from Duren, so Skor outright failed, to a point that Aanya didn't even deem the attack worthy of mention.

Marcos just busting into the throne room announcing the arrest of Soren and Claudia lmao. How did that even go? How did they end up getting arrested? I'm willing to bet that Soren stopped Claudia from putting up a fight, because he just falls to his knees when shoved and can't meet Ezran's eyes - he clearly believes he deserves this (and as much as I love him, he kinda did very much commit crimes, so yeah).

"This must be the biggest tree in the world! What do you call it?" "A tree." I love them.

CLAUDIA WILL YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. I mean don't, like, you getting justice for your crimes is always something I support, but also HONEY. NOBODY KNEW ABOUT THIS SHIT EXCEPT YOU. YOU'RE KINDA SHOWING YOUR ENTIRE ASS HERE.

Can we talk about how everyone looks shocked Except for Saleer, who's clearly glancing towards the exits? I wonder if he knew. He's the one who ends up siding with Viren later, after all.

This whole situation puts a lot of pressure on Ezran, but damn, Opeli really tried to pressure him there huh. He definitely needed people around him to keep her from overwhelming him.

Mmm. I have a lot of feelings about Soren and Claudia's interactions here. Soren is handling this all so much more maturely than she is, which makes sense to some degree because he's older, but I mean, they're 16 and 18, it's not a huge gap. She responds to his very reasonable resignation by trying to gaslight him, saying oh he must just be stupid, essentially, of course things can't possibly be how he remembers them, but of course it's not his fault that he couldn't understand. Also, she's so quick to tell him this, that he can't possibly be right about killing the princes, even after finding out that oh actually, their dad's ALREADY in jail for treason, and he DID tell her to sacrifice Soren for the egg. At this point, Claudia's story is so fucking tragic, because she wants so badly to have faith in her father that she's blinded to the very real things that are happening around her. As she gets older she just refuses to learn, though, and so my sympathy sort of falls off.

I love how they animated Kasef's walk. I know this walk well. It's the "gym bro who's trying real hard to show off his chest and shoulders" OR "gym bro who's OVERworked his chest and shoulders and now can't hardly move them today". Fits his character very well. Used to see those guys at the gym all the time. I love it.

I literally had to pause in the middle of the meeting with Kasef though because the whole announcement his armies are waiting and calling Viren the regent etc. made me cringe so hard. This would be such a horrifying moment to live through, on the part of every Katolian in the room who wasn't an advocate for war. They haven't even finished dealing with the internal consequences of Viren's actions, and now they have at least one international incident to handle. Also, just the surface level vibes between Kasef and Ezran are rancid.

Fucking Kasef demanding an adult advisor - not even a regent! - to speak with. I love that Corvus and Opeli scowl but don't actually speak, and they let Ezran snap "I'm right here. You can speak with me." He's so strong for such a little kid.

Okay but the fact that Corvus is the one who reacts, and it's not to any of the political shit, it's to Kasef accusing Ezran of failing as a son. I wonder what's going on in his home life. 20 years old, already has a career that's battered him as much as Amaya's in her late 30s, flinches at the idea of failing as a son, and snaps at a prince of a foreign country over it. Also bold enough to do that and then just go yeah I'm Corvus. I was specifically requested. No I don't have a title but fuck you I do what I want.

Also Kasef's face after he says that is hilarious. Just this.

You can just see the wheels turning in his head like. What the fuck does that even mean. That wouldn't fly in my court. Why isn't anyone reacting to that. What the hell are Katolians doing? And then he just takes this deep breath and moves on because how does he even respond to that.

Callum just clinging to Rayla as they ride the seed pod down, gosh that's adorable. And then them both blushing as red as the seed pod over it.

"No one blames you for being a child." is a heavy statement from Opeli. I like that she offers Ezran the possibility of a regent, she doesn't pressure him into it.

Rayla and the adoraburr meadow makes my heart hurt in the best way. She loves this place so much, and she's so excited about sharing it. I love her, I love how excited she is about Callum playing with the adoraburrs.

How often did Harrow stand on that same balcony and think like Ezran's doing?

The fact that Soren smiled when Ezran talked about Harrow as his dad hurts my heart.

Actually, just, the moments each different person smiles hit me. Soren smiles when Ezran talks about Harrow as his dad. Kasef smiles when he says he hasn't been through the things that made Harrow the king he was. Opeli smiles at the very beginning of it all, when Ezran talks about the kind of king Harrow was. And Corvus, Corvus smiles when Ezran says he doesn't have to be the kind of king Harrow was.

"Soren and Claudia will not pay for the mistakes their father made." I love him so much. "Katolis will not go to war. I'm sorry about what happened to your father, and what happened to mine. But we don't have to avenge them. We don't have to strike back. We can choose peace." I love this kid So Much.

I also appreciate Opeli in this moment, because while she clearly has reservations about these choices, she doesn't tell Ezran he's wrong. She just says peace will require as much strength as war - which is a sentiment Harrow echoed in his letter to Callum - and asks if he's prepared for it. And she doesn't argue when he says he is.

Oh also this first credits sketch is Aanya, and given the information we got about the other kingdoms in this episode, especially with the additions we get about magical resources in Duren in Season 7 - I'm betting this sketch is her battling Skor's shade herself. She took him out with Duren's magic arrows. That's why he failed when the others didn't.

Given the Moon Nexus' ability to open the door to the realm of the dead, and for shades of the dead to witness and interact with the living, I kind of want him to see her again. I wonder if he looks back at this human queen from the afterlife and thanks her, knowing she'll never hear it, for stopping him from corrupting his life's purpose in death.

[katkit-42]

Ok I'm trying again. I've gotten over the dungeon master pun so I'm gonna say what I actually meant to.

Anime onlys don't look.

So the thing about the dungeon masters is, I know we saw dungeon masters of different races in the epilogue, but I think Rui-sensei was trying to make a point in having three of the four dungeon masters we know best being elves, and the one to actually defeat the demon being a human.

Elves are the longest lived species and they have a habit of treating everyone else as children or pets. They also have the greatest grasp on magic. And it's explicitly said that the elves are the ones who hide the true nature of dungeons and demons from the other races, because they think the other races can't handle it. But it is Marcille, Thistle, and Mithrun who fall to the demon's tricks. Even though the elves think of themselves as above the other races, these three fall to the demon. You could argue that they didn't realize that the demon was dangerous, and it's true, they didn't know. But I'm talking from a meta-perspective--why was it that it's the *elves* who fall for the demon? Because the elves have always been prideful. They think they know better than any other race.

And then we have Laois. And he too falls to the demon. First, I love that because throughout the story, we've had this dichotomy of "Laois loves monsters" and "Laois wants to protect the people he loves". And they have always been treated as mutually exclusive--Laois can't indulge in his monster love without hurting his friends. But then, we see that once his friends give his monster obsession a chance, they can find things they like about it too. Marcille is still creeped out when she thinks too hard about where the food comes from, but she's willing to eat the finished product (which, lbr, is most modern peoples reactions to food). Chilchuck started thinking Senshi and Laois were crazy, but by the end of it, he was ok with it. Even Izutsumi comes around.

And then, Laois gets his wish. To become his super cool original monster oc donut steal. And everyone is prepared for the worst. Everyone thinks this is Laois' betrayal--he couldn't hold back against his monster obsession and thus he will kill all the humans.

Only, he doesn't. It is by becoming this monster that he gains his power to defeat the winged lion. It is his love of monsters and his want to be one that creates his ability to protect the ones he loves. Even though they still don't fully understand him, even though the lion offered him what he always wanted--he used his love of monsters for his friends and family. And really.... That's what he's always been doing. No one else saw it at first, but he has always been using his obsession to help the people he loves. And even at the very end, he did the same.

And anyway, I think that's an important reason why the elves kept falling to the demon. The elves are magical and long lived and wise, but from what we see, they're.... Lonely. They have their strict hierarchy and their stuffy rules with each other, and with other races, they take on the role of sole caretaker to these little things who can't possibly understand the "real world." Even Marcille falls to this. But Laois, who has always been on the outside, never stopped trying to empathize with others. He calls Chilchuck "Chil" (something extremely personal to halflings); he doesn't hold a grudge when Namari leaves the group after Falin dies; hell, even though it didn't end well, his insistence on being friendly with Toshiro was probably him trying to avoid doing to Toshiro what others have always done to him. He adores Senshi and Izutsumi. His succubus is Marcille smiling. He isn't lonely anymore.

And the elves who become dungeon masters, don't seem to have that. Mithrun felt alone due to his lover and brother. Marcille and Thistle both felt like they had to protect their shorter lived family. But Laois didn't feel that isolation. Well, he did in his village. But when meeting with his friends and forming their little party, he realized he wasn't alone anymore. And that became more important than even being a monster.

[manicpixiefelix]

Felix volunteering as a Christmas elf in a mall or Christmas village and omg, him in his costume is so adorable and he's having so much fun in the way only a filthy rich trust fund kid can. There's a huge line of girls who just want to talk to him

okay but this is fantastic as someone who's worked as a santa's elf myself, i can picture this so well

because Felix makes it absolutely magical for the kids, always fully committed to the bit, treating them like absolute royalty and matching their excited energy to meet Santa. there's a line of girls for felix, yes, but there's also countless mothers who see this wonderful young man interacting with their kids and they suddenly feel like a teenager with a crush for the five minutes they get to interact with him.

there's a few different people who play santa throughout the week and Felix get to know them all. they're fond of his enthusiasm and he comes to love how many of them do this despite the low pay because it's worth it to make the children happy.

felix spending down time on a slow day sitting down like a little kid on the christmas set, listening to the santas tell stories about their favourite moments from the past few years since they'd started dressing as santa. he's so caught up in the magic of it all.

that being said, there's a few other elves that he works with and while they're all kind, not all of them can or want to match his energy. he also gets the nickname Buddy from the 2003 movie Elf, where Will Ferrell plays a human 'elf' who is much taller than all the actual elves. you get the idea. he also gets called this (at first jokingly) by quite a few of the people who come to meet Santa for the exact same reason. he's a very tall elf. i love him.

the other elves will always push felix towards the nervous or bratty children, as he's kind of magic at getting them settled.

while the other elves he works with quickly become immune to his nonsense and most of his charms, the one that sometimes catches people off guard is whenever he offers to hold babies of often frantic mothers, who usually have quite a few children to try and get settled in with Santa.

please im begging you, picture felix in an elf outfit, gently cradling and rocking a crying child, smiling so warmly down at the little baby in his arms, softly cooing 'it's alright, you're going to be such a perfect little angel for santa, aren't you?" and being so pleased when the baby stops crying and babbling at him. the mother is both surprised and relieved, and felix just shrugs like it's the easiest thing in the world, telling her it's no trouble at all.

however the minute someone mentions that he's going to be a good dad, he gets this panicked look that alarms his coworkers. they never bring that idea up again. (he's like 18 of course he panics lol)

felix being both flattered and horrified by his groupies, since most of them are teenage girls who try and flirt with him using christmas-themed pick up lines and he's never had to deal with being hit on at work before but It's Not Fun. yes the other elves find his predicament endlessly funny, but they do also cover for him without question when he gets too uncomfortable and needs to hide around the back of the set. they can, will, and have called security on his behalf and they will do it again.

it's for this reason that their team especially grows to be very close and quite good friends over the season. a lot of the older elves, or even just those who have been doing it a few years and may have some similar experiences (though usually not as frequent or as intense as felix's) become very protective over him. they get drinks together, and exchange little christmas gifts at the end of the season. felix is very excited to get all of his coworkers gifts, he picks them out all special and personalised on his day off. when he puts effort in, i genuinely believe felix could be a fantastic gift giver.... however i also believe he doesn't get invested often enough in the idea of given presents for that to be much of a known fact about him. in fact, i think his family believes he's terrible at giving gifts. anyways.

just...... christmas elf!felix being so enamoured by the magic of it all, even in the middle of a busy shopping mall. he so would be.

[balloonroyale]

some thoughts on the blue balloon, the constant useless moral debating, and the ending of the smp.

The Blue Balloon (and the balloons as a species)

so the balloons are a hivemind and an invasive species, and the blue balloon is a forest fire.

hivemind is obvious. all the balloons are connected, everything that is taken by them is connected, all are the same within the balloon. they lose their sense of what they were and become one, until they are eventually reincarnated and become something new. in that process they're separated from it, and thus are no longer part of the hivemind.

invasive species thing is pretty obvious, too. they are literally not from that world, and they are not part of that ecosystem. they don't really provide for the ecosystem because they aren't meant to be part of it. which, yes, does damage the ecosystem, but that doesn't mean that they're automatically evil or whatever.

treating invasive species like they're evil doesn't solve anything. you're just blaming animals for doing what all animals do (follow their natural instincts), instead of trying to help. which is what the balloons brought all of them there for! because they needed help!

the blue balloon is a bit different from all the others, though. which is obvious 'cause it's kind of like. the queen bee, the big boss, the head of the mind. but i think that, in terms of what it actually does, it's more akin to a forest fire.

obviously, fire is very destructive, especially in a place like a forest where literally everything is pretty damn flammable. but! fire can also be a good thing. controlled burns exist for a reason and have been done for thousands of years.

when sophie b spoke to the blue balloon, she asked if it had eaten worlds before this one, and it replied, "never living ones." the implication being that it ate those worlds, and then created new ones that were living, the same way fires are used to get rid of dead/decaying plants to make room for new life. because the whole thing that it does is a cycle, in which it destroys and then creates.

sometimes, fires get out of hand though. they destroy more than they help, take more than they give. but ultimately, the end result will be the same. new life will sprout up all the same.

Can we PLEASE stop fucking talking in circles about if the balloons are evil or not?

the debating of "balloons good" and "balloons bad" is pointless. you cannot apply morals and ethics to this shit, because what the balloons are doing is beyond those concepts. it's like calling animals bad for partaking in cannibalism, when, like, most animals do that and it's just a normal natural thing for them in order to survive. applying morals to their behavior like that does nothing but villainize them for no reason.

and i think the idea of like. applying a moral dilemma to reincarnation is also stupid. "oh you lose your sense of self and everything about you" yeah and then you become something new. you get a new sense of self. you're literally reborn. it's not good and it's not bad, it's just a fucking thing. like when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.

ultimately, it's a choice to make. if you do or don't want to be reborn. and if you don't that doesn't make you good; if you do that doesn't make you evil. this isn't a choice of morals or ethics, it's a personal one.

The Ending

i really like the ending! it's beautiful! and tragic! it's great.

everyone got to go and be reincarnated, except for gibson, our wake, sophie, and zora. so gibson and sophie got what they wanted—they didn't want to be reincarnated, so they weren't. they faded. they died as themselves, but they still died and they cannot come back. and our wake specifically chose to not be reborn because he wanted to help ensure that everyone could be reborn, and that they would get to where they need to go.

zora...i will admit i don't. really know much regarding her. like i know she made the elves and seemed to be sort of...tied to the world itself, and i'm pretty sure she died and doesn't get to be reborn like everyone else. i don't know why that's the case or what her whole deal is outside of that. but, like, while her death is sad, that's part of the tragedy of the ending.

everyone who joined the blue balloon is technically dead, sure, but they won't be forever. they get to come back, and they get to come back as something new. and they're all together. forever bound by the friendships they made and the things they experienced.

it's tragic for those who faded away with the world and didn't get to stay with the others. it's tragic for those who got to be reborn because they lost some of their friends.

it's sad and happy. it's beautiful.

Side Notes

skull was literally right about so much shit and nobody listened to him. it kinda kills me honestly.

i don't really get the whole "sophie b and gibson were right!" thing. like right about what? seriously what. i don't. what are you fucking talking about lol.

the whole talking in circles thing is less about the fans ('cause honestly i don't think i've really seen much discussion about it) and is more just like. my exasperation at the fact that, throughout the smp, they kept on doing that. to the point where i was legitimately kinda annoyed 'cause it was always the same people bringing up the same shit like anything was gonna change.

feel like i gotta say this just for clarification: any time i talk about the people in the smp in this post, or really any posts i make about it, i'm specifically referring to the characters they played. not talking about the actual creators themselves.

i am so sad twinge of justice didn't get to be real...that has nothing to do with any of this honestly i'm just sad about it.

[miyakuli]

Baldur's Gate 3

Baldur's Mouth 1492 DR Issue 3

Hear ye, hear ye, good folk, come and buy today's edition for all the latest news from our beloved city of Baldur's Gate. Only 2 gold coins, yes, yes! In fact, a number of new adventurers have been in the news recently, and they're even making today's headlines! Find out all about their exploits and tribulations. Here's a taste of what's to come for you ladies and gentlemen!

❤ Let's talk about our adventurers. Humans, elves, drows…not to mention each of their classes. Believe me, the battles fought will never be the same, depending on the tactics chosen. What's more, their equipment has constantly evolved over the course of their journey, giving them more spells and techniques, so they could adapt even more to their environment. So my dear readers, if you want to go on an adventure, you're spoiled for choice, but think carefully about the type of fighter that will suit you best. Oh, and did I mention all their clothing choices? 2 pieces to find out! ❤ Let's meet their group. Our editor was able to spend a night at their camp to gauge the atmosphere. At first they were almost scalped by a slightly drunk Githyanki, then nearly bitten by a hungry man, frightened by a bear and ended up suffocated in the arms of a very affectionate Tiefling. But after a few pints of beer and listening to the tales of adventure from an occultist, it became clear that this small group was much more than just linked by an oath of arms. In the midst of all the bickering, a warm atmosphere settled in, and clearly they would have liked to have stayed longer by their side. The man with the sharp teeth will tell you that they're mainly ‘a bunch of weirdos’, but ‘family’ is more appropriate. ❤ Among their tales, their greatest epic was their pursuit of the Absolute that threatened the world. Months of various quests as heartbreaking as they were happy, difficult choices to be made that would have led to more divergent paths, friends, enemies, betrayals…..a memorable expedition! They've also told us that they'd like to relive this adventure if they could, because with their experience now, it's certain that they could approach this chapter of their lives in so many different ways. ❤ But according to them, exploration was the best part of this quest. The scenery was always breathtaking, and they never failed to discover new places and new secrets, even after circling the area countless times. Even today, they are certain that they have still missed some hidden corners. The area around Baldur's Gate really is full of riches! ❤ As we followed our adventurers, we came across a famous minstrel who accompanied us with so many ballads and songs as epic as their battles. A real treat for the ears! The name Borislav Slavov was whispered to me. A round of applause for the artist! ❤ Rumour has it that a new form of magic called ‘mods’, developed by admirers of the group, has brought many new features to the lives of our adventurers. We're very grateful to them!

+/- The group told us, however, that they'd got off to a rocky start. They clearly hadn't mastered all the combat codes and were totally unfamiliar with this new environment, not to mention all the equipment such as scrolls, consumables and artefacts of all kinds….It was a bit of an overwhelming experience. It took them several days to begin acclimatizing, until this new way of life became far too intoxicating to stop along the way. So, my dear customers, if you feel like leaving with them, be sure to be patient and curious enough to fully experience the thrill of the trip. +/- So be extremely meticulous when arranging your inventory. Loot is plentiful and varied, but can quickly get lost at the bottom of your bag.

✖ Adventure isn't always pretty, you know. According to them, some battles were so full of opponents that it was almost ridiculous against our 4 poor (but valiant) fighters. And sometimes, the minions were stronger than the enemy's own leader! that must have been pretty anticlimactic. ✖ A strange magic was sometimes felt, as the world seemed to glitch around them. People suddenly lost their voices or remained immobilized for several seconds during a fight, objects disappeared from the inventory…brrr it gives you the creeps.

I feel like I've told you too much, but I assure you there's still so much to know about them and Baldur's Gate! Only 2 coins for a revue that could change your life and inspire you to go on an adventure. Who knows, maybe you'll become the new hero of the region, and the subject of my next issue ;)

➡ My Steam page

[apostaterogue]

Veilguard post game thoughts. Largely negative, to be honest, but some positives.

Things I liked:

I want to be clear that there were so many things I very much enjoyed about this game.

- Of course everyone knows it was beautiful. The scenery, the HAIR PHYSICS, the animations, the monsters, the combat. Everything was beautiful and for the most part, incredibly fluid. I have 3,000 screenshots. I really did enjoy it.

- The companions (but I do have something to say about that later) were amazing. I loved how diverse and dynamic they all were, I love how (most) of their personal stories went. I loved that finishing all of their stories did actually impact and tie into your ending in an important and cohesive way.

- The factions, although I definitely wish we had more content with them, were so much fun to explore and learn about and be a part of (sort of).

- I actually really enjoyed the aspect of the story that was the blight, the blight changing/being destroyed. It really felt like a salute to this looming threat we've been fighting for the last fourteen years since we were first given Origins.

Now.

The things I didn't like.

- The clothes. There was like no diversity in the clothes, everything kind of looked the same but in different colors? There were a few really good ones I stuck with the rest of the game once I unlocked them. And the hair options, I don't understand how there's so many but again they all just sort of look the same but at different lengths. !!! Hello?

- Bioware, do you know what a fat person is? Because you told me I could make a fat person. You fucking lied.

- Let's talk about the elves. Because bioware really didn't, other than completely shifting the blame to this race that they have scapegoated throughout their entire franchise. They have treated the elves terribly, they've made sure WE knew the elves were treated terribly, and even have some flagrantly bland comments in regards to it from your party members. I played as an elf, as I'm used to them making that one of the most impactful storylines, and although my rook has a lot of feelings about everything that has happened/is happening to elves… nothing happens here. Nobody says anything about the way elves are treated other than yourself and a few passing comments from both Bellara and Davrin. So now the Dalish are just being replaced with the veil jumpers? Also why are the veil jumpers the only faction that don't have their own codex category? They just fall under ‘elves’ even though anyone apparently can be a veil jumper? So not only do you treat your elves terribly, from sexual assault in the first ten minutes of the first game to making sure your Lavellan knows every five minutes nobody trusts you because you're an elf- Not only an elf, but a Dalish elf- Which, right, they're not around anymore there's just the evolving and curiously learning accepted everywhere veil jumpers that can be any race. Got it.

- The crows. The crows. The crows. Okay fine. Institutions change over time. People change over time. Maybe this picture-esque little happy family changed everything for the crows. Did they change it so much that all the abuse Zevran said happened just… stopped? Why are the crows suddenly seen as good guys… by comparison… to the threads, I guess?? Why was it made so black and white when it was always so muddled and gray, and for good reason? They had slaves. They had a LOT of slaves. Why was none of that discussed? Why did we just erase the history of one of the token poc companions? Huh?

- Speaking of token companions and erasing history and slavery, why are we in Tevinter and *nobody talks about the slavery* except for in passing, flippant comments or brushing it off as no big deal? Fenris’ entire story was about escaping from a Tevinter mage/slaver and we not only don't talk about that, but this would have been a good opportunity to have him come back. And even if you didn't do that, to just not address any of it at all while we are literally in this mystical country/continent we've been told is The Worst Place™ is callus and lazy writing.

- The companions again. They were all so half baked, and they had so much potential. I genuinely do love all of them, I feel like they're so great. I loved (almost) all of their stories. Neve ended up being my romance, the slow build of trust for having chosen Treviso over Minrathous and the angst between her and Rook was excellent. But, it fell flat in so many ways. You get all of four scenes with your love interest, and that's it. You can't talk to them outside of scenes, they just stare at you. Somehow I don't feel like I really know any of them. There was not this same getting to know each other that bioware is known for and you could see whispers of it in some interactions because some of them were SO good and then it all just falls so unbelievably flat. All of them feel like they were cut in half and unfinished. The romances were all so boring at the end of the day, and I say that wishing there was more! I really did love them and they all had such strong moments that I'm still struggling to understand where exactly something just feels *empty*.

- Taash, specifically. Anyone that knows me knows how fucking excited I was to have a nonbinary companion. What I wasn't expecting was for that to be their entire story. Their *entire* story is about their gender. And when they have that conversation with their mother, who offers insight in the only way she knows how because qunari already have words for transness, Taash gets… mad? Like are we mad because you don't understand your own culture (which is valid, and what I WISH they would have leaned more into)? Because what you say and imply is that it's… about the pronouns? It's such a weird and awkward interaction. Their entire story didn't need to be about their gender. It could have been secondary, it could have just been a thing like it was with Krem and not had their entire story literally revolve around only these conversations. Even their relationship commitment conversation is about their gender. It's so awkward and it comes off as a cis person writing their idea of what transness is like. And got it wrong. Wrong wrong. Also, why does Taash come off as so childish? Why are they always saying such mean things to the companions? I don't get any of that. I can't tell if it's bad writing or? I don't even know.

- The inquisitor. If not having enough options for cc was bad enough, I can even begin to say how gutted I was at every interaction I had with inky. That was not my inky. It was worse than what they did to Hawke, especially, *especially* as a Sollavellan shipper. I want to be very clear here- my Lavellan was ready to kill Solas. She would have done what she needed to do because she is practical enough to know that some things just have to be. Of course, you can choose to have Solas go without her. But it frames it in this - way. That she has been pining for him, that she has been wasting away and is nothing without him and has been longing for him for the last ten years. My own headcanons about her polyamory aside, that just isn't healthy? Why again is bioware reducing a woman down to a man and his choices/regrets/destiny? And to follow that, she can just. Go with him into the fade prison. He says nothing about it, he is just like yeah sure cool this is fine babe. She has virtually no autonomy or voice at all, her sole purpose exists as some limb to Solas and his overarching theme of redemption.

- The elves again. And the dwarves. So we take two races: one being the race we've been told over and over is horribly mistreated, enslaved, and oppressed. The other being a race you've given us virtually little lore on at all and have all but ignored really in everything except origins. You pit these two races against each other. You make the one who has experienced thousands of years of tyranny ultimately responsible for the dwarves being cut off from dreams/magic/the fade. Fuck. You. Bioware.

- Choosing between Harding and Davrin: this was also such a cheap shot at shock value. If a companion had to die, we should have been able to pick any of them first of all. But of course you chose the dwarf and the black man. Of course! Of course you did, bioware. The only exceptions due to your second choice and the end would have been maybe Neve, Bellara, or Lucanis. But even then, really only Lucanis should have been cut off from that choice IF THEY had to kill someone that was (which I don't think they should have).

- Speaking of cheap deaths, I hated that Taash’s mom died. I hated that Bellara's brother died. Both made me cry but they felt so cheap after what had happened and it really didn't feel like it was building good story, it felt like it was just supposed to be a shocking gut punch both times.

- Varric. Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, if he had to die, it should have just.. happened. Not only do I not think that based on the Solas they showed us throughout inquisition that he wouldn't keep up that charade, he would give into his guilt imo, but also nobody says… anything. Neve and Harding never ask Rook if they're okay, they were there. The Inquisitor, Dorian, Isabela, Morrigan. All people that knew him. Hello? The bones of okay writing for the twist were there but it was a shitty, cheap twist and a slap in the face to anyone who ever loved that character.

- The end. What the fuck was that ending? First of all, it's like five lines of dialogue with Solas. Now, as a romanced Lavellan- I actually did like that Lavellan couldn't talk him out of it on her own and it took him seeing Mythal/her freeing him from her/forgiving him to help him move on. I hated that after that Lavellan just. Sacrificed her entire life and goes with him, this man she knew for six months and then chased for ten years. That's fine if that's your headcanon, but that's not how I see love. And frankly, it would have been cool if (since apparently they insisted on setting up for a sequel, which I'll get to) the veil DID come down and the world be permanently changed/figuring that out. But no, instead, we got the secret ending.

- And fuck the secret ending.

- And what the fuck was that epilogue? Where was the slideshow??? Hello?

I'm sure I have more to say but this is almost 1800 words so slsksks. I had such high hopes for this game. I was so positive about it, I ate up all the trailers and teasers, I held out on forming opinions, strong ones, until I was about halfway through it and by the end I felt so deflated. It started out so strong, and I was so excited. By the end of it, I just don't feel the same way about this that I do the others. To me, it feels like bioware's whitewashed and sanitized version of everything that came before and it doesn't feel like a dragon age game at all. They picked apart and backtracked on their own lore, they blatantly ignored and threw out characters we have loved for years, and to boot one of the things we did get in the epilogue is a big fuck you to all past players: Thedas is on fire guys, it was a nice journey, we're moving on now :)

Genuinely and wholeheartedly, I have never been so mad at a game. It wasn't even that my expectations were through the roof, bioware had set the bar for themselves and they fell so unbelievably short.

Okay. Done

😮‍💨

[your-divine-ribs]

The Night Before Christmas

Words: <700

Just a tiny bit of Dad Van Christmas fluff (I promise to write you something new soon anon from earlier x)

Dad Van Masterlist Main Masterlist

🎄 Christmas has always been a big celebration in the McCann household and Van likes to make a big deal out of it… even more so now you've got your own little family.

🎄 Now it's the night before Christmas and the excitement levels have reached an unprecedented peak. You’re not sure if more of it's radiating from the kids or from Van.

🎄 You thought he'd balk at the idea of matching family Christmas pyjamas but his eyes light up when you produce them. "Wow, look at these kids, look what mum's bought! These are class!"

🎄 There's even a matching onesie for baby Leo which looks adorable on him (have you seen pics of Van as a baby as you just know his kids would be the cutest).

🎄 Van's stripped off and changed into them in a second and you're in fits of laughter as he starts doing a daft dance for the kids. Your daughter Grace is giggling so much she's lying on the floor clutching her belly. "Daddy you're so silly!"

🎄 Van picks her up and whirls her around and then he's doing the same with Leo who squeals with excitement.

🎄 You're marvelling at how your husband can  still manage to look sexy as hell in novelty Christmas pyjamas but unbelievably cute and slightly dorky at the same time.

🎄 You set a timer on your phone to get the obligatory family 'night before Christmas' photo in front of the tree and you have to retake it six times as Van keeps talking and ruining the shot.

🎄 Grace begs that you follow Christmas tradition and leave a treat out for Santa. Van is very specific about how Santa will only drink a 'proper cuppa'... Yorkshire tea of course.... and there's a packet of Jaffa cakes and a carrot for Rudolph too.

🎄 Grace is distraught just before bedtime as she notices that someone's already opened up the Jaffa cakes and half the contents are gone.

🎄 "Don't look at me Gracie... it must have been those naughty elves! They're always up to no good!" Van denies it was him even though there's a sizeable smudge of chocolate smeared across his lips and crumbs on his top.

🎄 Baby Leo's out like a light as soon as you put him in his cot but Grace is too wound up to sleep and is practically bouncing off the walls. You swear she gets her boundless energy from her dad.

🎄 "But Daddy I'm too excited! I feel like I'm gonna burst!"

🎄 Van tucks her into bed and strokes her hair and tells her a story about Santa only coming to the house of good girls and boys who go to sleep early on Christmas Eve.

🎄 Once you're sure the kids are sound asleep you're both on a mission to tiptoe stealthily around the house and place all the presents under the tree.

🎄 The kids have been totally spoilt. You'd set a limit on spending but Van had blatantly ignored it, he kept seeing things that he thought they'd like and adding it to the ever-growing piles.

🎄 "Why the hell did you buy Leo a PlayStation for? He's only 9 months old!" Van looks affronted. "Got to get 'im good at FIFA from an early age. You don't know how tough those championship tournaments are babe!"

🎄 You're so busy rushing around, finishing touches to the wrapping, hanging the stockings over the fireplace and adding extra decorations to the tree that you've not noticed that Van's stopped what he's doing and he's watching you adoringly.

🎄 He reaches out and curls an arm around your waist, pulling you down on to the sofa with him. "C'mere love, stop rushing around for a minute and come and sit down with me. You've not stopped all evening."

🎄 "But there's still so much to do!" You protest, trying to rise up. "I just want everything to be perfect for the kids..."

🎄 Van's got both arms tightly wrapped around your waist now, ensuring that you're not going anywhere. "Everything is perfect!" He assures you, planting a soft kiss on your lips. "Mmm... you're perfect too. The kids are gonna love it and you're the best mum in the world..."

🎄 He nuzzles into your neck, scattering gentle, ticklish kisses all over, making you giggle. "Besides... Christmas isn't just for kids ya know. Now have ya been a good girl for Santa, eh?"

[di-daynamic]

Ron made a valiant effort to get up again but fell back with a whimper of pain. Lupin made toward him, looking concerned, but Ron gasped, “Get away from me, werewolf!” Lupin stopped dead. Then, with an obvious effort, he turned to Hermione and said, “How long have you known?”

“Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf,” Ron gasped. “Is he mad?”

But Ron didn’t move. “What’s up?” said Harry, looking at him. Ron looked around at Harry, his expression very serious indeed. “Did you know?” he whispered. “About Hagrid being half-giant?” “No,” Harry said, shrugging. “So what?” He knew immediately, from the look Ron was giving him, that he was once again revealing his ignorance of the wizarding world.

“So?” Harry prompted Ron. “What’s the problem with giants?” “Well, they’re . . . they’re . . .” Ron struggled for words. “. . . not very nice,” he finished lamely. “Who cares?” Harry said. “There’s nothing wrong with Hagrid!” “I know there isn’t, but . . . blimey, no wonder he keeps it quiet,” Ron said, shaking his head. “I always thought he’d got in the way of a bad Engorgement Charm when he was a kid or something. Didn’t like to mention it. . . .” “But what’s it matter if his mother was a giantess?” said Harry. “Well . . . no one who knows him will care, ’cos they’ll know he’s not dangerous,” said Ron slowly. “But . . . Harry, they’re just vicious, giants. It’s like Hagrid said, it’s in their natures, they’re like trolls . . . they just like killing, everyone knows that. There aren’t any left in Britain now, though.”

Ron's grown up in the wizarding world, and with its prejudices. His automatic response is to believe in them and be horrified realizing people he likes and respects are creatures. But he overcomes this! We see in future books that Ron treats Lupin and Hagrid both just as he does everyone else, with just as much warmth and friendliness. And this isn't remarkable to us because the other two do the same. But Harry and Hermione don't have this stuff ingrained in them. They're free to form their own beliefs from knowing and liking Lupin and Hagrid. But Ron isn't. And still he unlearns these beliefs, for the sake of his friends, because it's the right thing to do.

And we see this with house-elves too! How he goes from entirely dismissing them to considering them more than Harry does. I've seen people bash Ron for how he treats Griphook in Book 7 'after everything', but not only does Griphook kind of prove him right, this is how he begins with all creatures because this is what he's taught, grown up with, basically indoctrinated with! And still he struggles against these and tries to be better and this is so, so important and incredibly brave.

And for Hermione, who values justice and compassion and bravery and equality, this is such a good fit! I genuinely don't understand how people can think Ron won't try to understand Hermione's perspectives due to her muggle upbringing or will force her to follow wizarding traditions and become a house-wife, when so much of his arc is about his personal flaws and prejudices and getting control over them. Weasley is our King!

[great-raven-parade]

What’s your opinion of Strange Frequencies? I’ve seen a lot of hate for it because of how it portrayed certain characters and the nisse.

I mean, I'm heavily biased but I actually think Strange Frequencies is the best episode in Season 3.

Firstly, like many creatures in Hilda, the nisse don't think exactly like humans. Sharing is an alien concept to them, and borrowing things is very different from stealing. A borrowed item is one ultimately meant to be returned, and if it's returned, everything is fine! Remember that nisse have an affinity for unused spaces and items- taking something that isn't being used at the moment generally doesn't cause an issue. In fact, it's what leads nisse to habitually clean, store, and recover unused and misplaced items! The actual issue at the start of Strange Frequencies is that nisse are accusing each other of 'stealing' over the fact that terms to return items haven't been communicated. Communication, especially with each other, isn't something nisse excel at on their own. So, after Hilda and friends do the work in communicating and setting it up, the lending library concept works so well that they don't even need to moderate it. The nisse value system is such that 'No one owns these items. You can borrow them, just put them back in this specific location when you're done' just clicks. I've also seen complains that Tontu in particular is being uncharacteristically bratty in this episode. I'd argue he's extremely in-character (and that nisse are allowed to be bratty sometimes. As a treat). Remember that the radio he's bickering with Hilda over is one that Hilda likely hasn't used much since she stopped listening to Victoria's original radio show after the events of The Storm. They both know it's Hilda's old radio, but Tontu has probably always been able to borrow it whenever he wants to without issue, and it's only in Strange Frequencies that she starts to become bothered about 'sharing' it. One thing I really love about Tontu's character is that he complains about other nisse, and then acts... Exactly like the other nisse. And other nisse do the same. And that's quirky and fun, and never portrayed by the show as a bad thing- Not even in this episode. Once again, nisse (or elves or what have you) don't think like humans, and that's something to be accepted rather than changed! And of course, on top of it all, Tontu is just not great at showing emotion or reading it from others- He's struggled with that since meeting Hilda all the way back in season 1. He cares about Hilda more than a radio show, of course he does, but doesn't fully understand that Hilda is upset about losing Anders again, rather than who gets to use the radio right now. Hilda and Frida's flaws are also in conflict again in this episode, similarly to their fight in The Ghost (Notice how the montage shows Frida looking sadly at a picture of her, Hilda, and David when nothing they did or said in the scene before should have remotely made her doubt she'd see her friends tomorrow). Hilda is determined and resilient, but that same trait can make her obsessive in the wrong situations. She has difficulty letting things go when she doesn't feel they've been truly resolved. Meanwhile, Frida is organized and ambitious, but has difficulty putting her own point of view aside to see someone else's. So, Frida struggles dealing with the nisse (who can only be met where they're at), and Hilda is too focused on Anders to help Frida realize they need a different approach. Of course, Hilda and Frida communicate with each other and make up before coming close to the point of their s1 fight, but I do think the echoes of it are there. Frida and David don't leave Hilda because they don't care she's upset about her dad- But I think Frida may be feeling some awfully familiar frustrations to the Ghost situation and that's why she needs to take some time away. I also think it says a lot about how the two of them have grown as friends that this situation goes so much differently than the fight in Season 1! And while it's clear it was a difficult time to have to walk away, it does lead to everyone having time to think and come back together with clearer heads the next morning.

So yeah. Overall I think Strange Frequencies actually does a great job with the nisse and their blue and orange morality! It also does a good job with the main cast's characterizations- It's just focused on a situation where some of their best qualities play as flaws, which is different from what we see in most other episodes, but not totally unprecedented.

[unagreeablegirl]

which companions from veilguard would sera get along with the best/worst etc?

i think sera's opinion of the veilguard companions would probably be mostly the same whether she is rook or just another helper hanging around the lighthouse, so i'm just gonna ruminate on her feelings for each of them without differentiating verses;

bellara :: (tl;dr: neutral-to-positive) i like to think that by the time sera reaches veilguard times, she has actually grappled a bit with her internalized racism towards dalish elves and gotten past that instinct to reject them for their cultural ties, especially if lavellan was the inquisitor. that being said, her extreme wariness and fear towards magic remains, and bellara's tinkering with magical artefacts would deeply unnerve her. she would not really enjoy having to help her with those things if taken along for that quest. she might even take bellara's story about her brother as proof that such tinkering is too dangerous to be trifled with. at the same time, bellara is...adorable. and sera is just a girl. she can't bring herself to fully dislike a cute dalish mage.

davrin :: (tl;dr: positive) with most of her internalized racism out of the way, i think sera would get along okay with davrin. i think he'd even have a bit of a steadying influence on her, with time. she likes that he's a non-magic user and generally no-nonsense about monster hunting. she also has a positive opinion of the wardens in general, at least until they meet the first warden and he's a total pissant, so that also plays in dav's favor. she might tease him a little about his dalish background, but in a much friendlier and less antagonistic way than she'd have treated it in the past. so overall, she likes him. he's cool. she'll hang with him even more if it means she can pet the griffon.

emmrich :: (tl;dr: uncomfortable-to-neutral) sera feels weird about the necromancy. she's not as adverse to it as taash seems to be in the beginning, but it does creep her out a lot. it's possible the way he talks about it makes her feel even more creeped out at first bc it doesn't make any sense to her, wanting to be around bodies and spirits and all that shite all the time. that being said, she's at least a little better about being open-minded by the time of veilguard, and over time i think she'd make peace with the necromancy thing. it might never be something she feels entirely comfortable with, but she eventually stops being such a little shit about it. and maybe she one day brings back a tea he mentioned liking once, because she's desperate to get him talking about anything else, honestly.

lace :: (tl;dr: highly positive) sera loves lace harding. they're old pals from inquisition times and sera has not forgotten. harding is already one of the good ones in sera's book, long before varric hires rook and starts putting together a team for the veilguard.

lucanis :: (tl;dr: uncomfortable-to-neutral) sera's issues with mages and magic rear their ugly head again with lucanis, but they're in conflict with feelings of sympathy for what he's been through. she realizes it was not even a little bit his fault that he became possessed, but her fear of demons can't help complicate any potential connection there. she has a hard time completely trusting him for a lot of the same reasons the others don't in the beginning. she keeps an eye on him like lace does, and tries not to judge. even though she loooooves to judge.

neve :: (tl;dr: neutral-to-postive) i think sera's feelings towards neve would be similar to how fenris feels about a mage!hawke, in that neve appears to really know what she's doing and have an expert handle on her magic, so sera doesn't feel nearly as fearful towards her as she might another mage. and let's be real, neve is hyper-competent in everything she does. sera's not even wrong to feel like she can trust the detective almost immediately.

taash :: (tl;dr: highly positive) taash is absolutely buckwild fucking awesome in sera's humble opinion. from that opening scene where they're introduced the little elf rogue is crushing hard. she is already trying to see if taash is free on friday. beyond that, i think sera might understand some of what taash is struggling with in terms of feeling a cultural pull in multiple directions. just because sera has largely rejected elven culture doesn't mean she never felt anything for it. so she gets that, in her own way, and would do her best to support taash through whatever path they decided to take. but also, she would like to smooch the hot lord of fortune pls & thank.

and...that is what i have for you thus far, nonny. keeping in mind that i literally just picked up sera as a muse on a whim today so the above is possibly open to change as i continue to explore her character....

[dragon-susceptible]

What is Andromeda's husband's personality like? Like is he more serious? Or is he more like a goof? Like what's he like?

Elyrin's really good with kids. He's kind, magnanimous, considered a bit of a dandy by Moonshadow standards. He's not actually vain, he's just pretty and knows it (like the difference between arrogance and confidence, but with vanity and self-respect). He talks to children like they're small adults, will argue with people about how kids are still people and should be treated as such. He makes shadow puppet shows for the Mooncubs and takes every rotation he can get, he adores them. He's also a bard who writes and performs music as his regular job, though he also teaches when he gets the chance. He's one of the few Moonshadow elf civilians that has occasionally left the forest, in order to perform. He's also a bit of a flirt, as it helps with his stage presence. When I say a bit of a flirt, that scene with Andromeda and Corvus? That's what Elyrin is like all of the time when he's performing. He's got permanent "fuck me" eyes and is trying to seduce you with every move he makes. And it really works for him.

He's very softhearted and Andromeda doesn't talk to him about her work much, because she knows the death would weigh on him. He trusts her judgment, though, and like all Moonshadow elves was raised with the value set that says she is protecting their home. What she does makes his safety, his time with the Mooncubs, his songs and joy and softness, possible. So he's there for her, and he's never been the one to ask her to stop if she's willing to confess things to him. He'll take the burden just so she doesn't have to bear it alone, though he buckles more under the weight.

He's talkative and excessively friendly for a Moonshadow elf, similar to Lujanne. Runaan, who has met them both, privately wonders if there's a genetic connection somewhere up the line, actually, though Lujanne hasn't been back to Moonshadow Forest in 300 years and bore no children, so it would be generations back.

Elyrin will willingly tell stories and sing songs with the humans, because if they've managed to make it into the Silvergrove he trusts that they're safe to be around. He also has decent judgment skills for staying safe in the wider world, though, as he actually does travel on occasion. He will instantly have a soft spot for Ezran as a small child, though, and it will lowkey horrify him that Andromeda was asked to kill the boy. He'll be relieved that she didn't.

This whole mission will shake Elyrin to his core. He'll be terrified of the consequences of the assassins refusing to complete their mission, even though he's glad his wife doesn't bear the blood of a child on her hands.

He dreams of a world at peace to raise their children in, too, though. He's asked Andromeda to consider retiring, if they manage to conceive a child, because he doesn't want to risk her dying when they're still too young to remember her (as happened to her with her father, or Runaan with his mother, or Callisto and their parents, or - etc.). He sees how different the other types of elves are, and how they found peace among each other, and wishes they could find the same sort of common ground with humans, so that their kids don't have to grow up with the kind of fear and loss that he and Andromeda and their generation did.

That's why when he gets told the whole story of the egg and what the princes and assassins plan to do with the Dragon Queen, he'll support them. He'll be terrified but he'll stand with them in spirit anyway, because they're offering a real chance at a future he wished for and never thought possible. He may be moved to come to the Storm Spire after Viren's army passes through Xadia, to offer whatever help he can, but when it's just the assassins heading for the Dragon Queen he'll stay in the Silvergrove for safety, both his own and to help prepare for a potential negative reaction from Zubeia.

[ob-werm]

On the Removal of Orcs from the Monster Manual

So the new Monster Manual is out and about, and one of the big talking points is how orcs have been removed from it completely. I'm in two minds on the whole thing.

First and foremost, its a good thing that orcs are being treated less like brutal savages that are just predisposed to evil and more like a culture with its own practices, social norms, and economic factors. People much smarter than me have done extensive writing on the biological essentialism that underpinned a lot of DND's early monster design, so I won't poorly rehash all that, but what's important here is that now, a DM (and WOTC's adventure writers) have to think a little bit more when they drop a green skin brigade into their hex crawl. You can't handwave an orc raid on a mining camp by going "They're evil, its what they do." You gotta think a little more, think about motivations, social pressures, ECONOMICS! Horrific, I know. It will be more challenging for newer DM's, but it will make them better in the process.

With that in mind, I am still negative on the deletion as a whole because I am usually against the removal of rules to solve a problem when the addition of rules would have solved it just as much, if not more. The problem is that the removal of orcs solves none of the problems it set out to do, reinforces the bad stereotypes it sought to combat, and along the way, limits new DMs on the types of monsters they can throw out. If orcs are being removed because they aren't monsters anymore, then why are goblins, githyanki, all these creatures who are clearly just as sapient as orcs, still considered monsters and are seen as acceptable fodder for a party of adventurers? I understand that Orcs have achieved full PC ancestry status, but in the fiction of the game, that doesn't really exist.

Now, imagine this alternative; a new monster manual that has stat blocks for orcs, yes, but also stat blocks for fighting humans, dwarves, elves, gnomes, etc. If its a player race, there are stats for fighting them. Not only does this combat the idea that orcs and goblins are monsters that are okay to kill, but it also gives the DM more tools to use, not less.

Now, I'm not (horribly) stupid, I understand these books have a limited page count and WOTC doesn't have infinite money to expend on creature design. They gotta save some funds for designing their AI Dungeon Masters. So, here's an idea straight from one of my favorite games, Lancer. Instead of dedicating multiple pages to every single sapient race, you have NPC monsters (bandits, druids, archmages, etc.) that you then modify with ancestry templates. Want to run a group of goblin bandits. They all can disengage as a bonus action. Want to take those same low level bandits but use them in a campaign set on the astral sea? They're now all Gith and they have limited Psionics. Want to then start a campaign where the main enemy is a group of wood-elf eco-terrorists? Same bandits, but with limited druidic spellcasting and some magical resistances. I can't think of a way this system wouldn't solve anyone's problems.

And to get ahead of people saying, "If you like orcs, just use the old books," WOTC has already shown a willingness to gate off old material, especially in their new digitally focused landscape. They've already removed material from DND Beyond, and there is no indication they will stop this behavior. It is okay to complain about the things you like, especially when the company that makes the stuff keeps making dumb decisions.

[savages-weapons]

I keep seeing arguments like "not having to play the first three games will bring more new players" for EA choice of not having a way to indicate major previous world choice in their new Dragon Age game and "but it would be too hard to have all those choice taken into account after 10 years" and I just wanna say: 1) you never had to play previous game to start a dragon age game before? default world setting have always been a thing if you had not play the previous ones? plenty of people started with da2 or inquisition the fact that the options of importing your previous choice is gone will not bring anymore people than for the previous games. But it might lose some.

2) they managed to do that fine for three games, years ago so why is it impossible for a fourth? I do not see how a decade made it harder to do. No one wanted all the choice they ever made with every characters to be taken into account: just the main ones. The way they did with the tapestry would have been fine. It was not an impossible task: it's just easier to be lazy when you screwed up the development so much you have to speedrun making the game. If you only have the world default world state, then no need to make different quest for players with different past games, no multiples characters swapping in some quest depending on who lived or died and what choice you made with them, no different dialogues to create, no political differences in how some are treated (like mages depending on which Divine rose to power in Inquisition or elves depending on who rules in Orlais). But those things are what make a world feels more real, that what gave so much re-playability to the previous games.

On a personal note: I expect more for rpg than the illusion of choice, which is what more and more games give you... Sure you get different dialogue options, different romances, and can play a few different races. If you lucky a few different endings and look you can play good or evil, but you'all gonna get the same main story and side quests coz we cant be bothered to add all those different paths to our stories anymore. And Im not taking the "it's too much work" from a company with as much money and talents as EA: they're not an overwhelmed indie team.

I get that capitalism means people will be underpaid, overworked and this game had a different name and story plan just a few year ago so of course it was gonna be a mess. It has very clearly been in development hell for a while and reworked so much it's probably unrecognizable from what it once was. Probably took lot of work from some passionate people and lot of bad call and cuts from asshole in power. Just because all of that is a thing and because we love and miss the series doesn't mean they're owe success or money, especially with a game that somehow feels rushed? (yes despite 10 years) A sad fact of creative work is that people can work for years on something with passion and true desire to do something good and the final product can still be bad, just because of bad management and executive decisions.

At this point i'd take them pushing it back another five years if it meant they kept the tradition that your main choice, the one supposed to have major impact on the world (who was the warden, Hawke & their respective lovers, who is king in Ferelden, who rules in Orlais, who is the new religious leader of a whole ass continent for the last decade and what it the new situation for mage depending on them ruling the Chantry?) were taken into account over just who my inquisitor romanced and if they wanna kill or save Solas. Saying because it's in a different regions none of those things matter is absurd, politics doesn't work like that: da2 is set in Kirkwall, a completely different region and the event of the previous game of course had impact on that region too. World event aren't stopped at frontiers. Who the Divine is in particular, has an impact on the entire continent and even on enemy nations. It's that impactful of a choice both societal and political, if you want your world to have any depths.

That none of this is taken into account int his game means, no references to any of it in the new game, or it they are references well they wont match a lot of people previous games. They will feel basic and bland. Previous characters brought back in this one will feel emptier and more generic because none of them will mention things specific to any of the characters they were supposedly close to for years - be it Varric about Hawke and the inquisitor or Morrigan about their warden (especially if you romanced her as the warden in one of your playthrought rip I guess).

It just makes it more hollow as a whole and yeah I get why they did it. It is easier that way. But Im also not giving them money for this game either. Sure if it get on sale big time in a few years why not but I dont personally see the point in playing in a default world.

Plenty are just excited to meet new characters and have new romance and I'm not saying you can't be by the way. People dont want the same things out of game and that is fine, I care more for worldbuilding than romance options myself - love a romance but impact over time of players choice was for me more of a core mechanic than being able to romance any companions. People who don't want to play this game as it is or feel disappointed and like they wont enjoy the game as much aren't just unreasonable hater either. The choice you made having impact over time in the world was a core mechanic of this series for three games, and removing it kills a part of the appeal of the series. None of that justify abusing or insulting on any sides of the argument but being able to critic a game doesn't mean you hate it: it often comes out of love for it.