#system panic

[spacecatdraws]

wrong, I’m more than one person

[artsarasp]

Uh oh!

[Prev] [Masterpost]

[Disciples Extra]

[Mu Qingfang Extra]

[sunderwight]

It's actually kind of hilarious to contemplate the prospect that the genre shift in SV means that Luo Binghe's harem go the queer route as well and start largely pairing off into lesbian ships with one another.

Mostly because of the sheer scale of Bingge's harem, and the fact that a lot of it was comprised of the members of politically influential families.

Can you imagine the freak-outs that various lords and kings are probably having over the fact that their daughters keep eloping with one another? The practical ones are probably going to be like, well, a political alliance is an alliance, welcome to the family Random Demon Princess! But a lot of them are probably going to be pissed that their bloodline's liable to die out, and that the perfectly suitable match (read: asshole cannon fodder Bingge did away with in PIDW) they arranged for their daughter got interrupted by some lady cultivator kidnapping her from her wedding instead. Imagining several prominent nobles in various realms furrowing their brows together and just being like, is it something in the water? Did some plant do this? Is it like it a cultural ripple effect, the Demon King is gay so now all the youngsters are too?

[spacecatdraws]

Backstage Actors: 6/10 very theatrical

Party: 10/10 either in the dnd sense or the fun time sense

Pack: 8/10 works well if one or more of your alters is a therian/otherkin

Squadron: 9/10 going to war with your own headmates

Backup Coding: 5/10 funny, but might make alters feel like they’re not supposed to be fronting

The Creatures: 10/10 very mysterious. are you possessed or are you just more than one person

Parasites: 0/10 no. just no.

Things to call headmates other than "my Alters"

Headmates: solid 8/10, clearly a system term though

The Others: 7/10 kinda mysterious, not much pizazz

Family: 9/10 yeah replace those sorry ass relatives of yours!

Brothers/ Sisters: 8/10 personally I like calling them my brothers and sister, but tbh kinda sounds like catholic priests/ nuns. -2 points

Roommates: 9/10 Basic like headmates, but phrased in a way singlets understand

Friends: 10/10 Wholesome, although I am definitely not friends with everyone in here

The Voices: 3/10 People gonna absolutely think you're crazy

Greek Chorus: 5/10 It's funny when someone actually knows what you're referring to

Peanut Gallery: 7/10 Similar concept to the above, only more understood by the average person

Backseat Drivers: 9/10 The most correct one on the list, especially said with just a touch of contempt. Might make someone upset

The Collective: 8/10 very ominous, better when talking about the system as a whole singular unit

Comrades: 10/10 Like friends, but commier! Perfect!

Coworkers: 10/10 very accurate representation of how it actually works in here

The Council: 9/10 The Council has decided that it's really entertaining to refer to ourselves like that

Chat: -10/-10 How is it so perfect, yet so awful, yet so awfully perfect?

[boarloved-art]

Wei Wuxian should be able to get drunk for once. I think he'd either be singing bawdy drinking songs on the roof of the Jingshi or he'd be getting irrevocably lost no matter where he is. He's found in the bushes behind the mountains like a cryptid, and then he's like "I can't believe you all got lost" (extremely slurred) as if he didn't get embarrassed by something Lan Wangji had said and just somehow disappeared when everyone looked back at him

oh ABSOLUTELY im walking with u and nodding and agreeing, i can see him becoming an absolute menace to keep track of at his drunkest.

anyway heres wonderwall The Gang (Wangxian & their fave group of ducklings) in a city known for its STRONG wine and wuxian being like well. ur all grown now, youre technically not juniors anymore. we have to see whos lasting the longest against this stuff!, smash cut to a suspiciously wei ying-less group of the worlds drunkest cultivators being wrangled through the woods by designated driver hanguang-jun, with at least 2 of them clinging to his robes at all times.

[e11asurfz]

i luv band magazine covers!!!

[itsguysnightitsironic]

Vulture dimension? More like, *goes into a rage* *goes into a rage* *goes into a rage* *goes into a ra-

This video clip will be big evil next season I think

All I know of Fantasy High is fan compilations while being in a feverish state that made me see people in the shadows, and I think I don't need to know anything else.

Peak experience.

[spacecatdraws]

I can’t recognize my body.

I see blood and gore on my hands.

Who am i?

this isn’t what’s supposed to happen.

There’s others in this body with me.

I love them, but where did they come from?

where did i come from?

I can’t remember…

it’s like I came to exist only a year or two ago.

am I just a child?

but then why did I have to grow up so fast?

I wonder how an endo would react to actual OSDDID distress. Like an intense flashback where alters are screaming and crying and freaking out, where you're hyperventilating and get forced out of front because you're in too bad a mental state, even though everyone is.

Or when you're being taken advantage of because of your amnesia, perhaps adding to your already huge pile of trauma.

Or being somewhere, no idea how you got there and completely lost, panicking because how the hell are you going to find your way home? Where is home? Who even are you?

*actual* OSDDID isn't fun. It isn't just having people in your head. There's so much distress involved in this.

-Jayden

(ENDOS AND PRO-ENDOS DNI)

[theimpurelily]

@grubus taadaa? lol

Sooo ya know that little gif I posted? This whole thing stemmed from me letting things get too out of hand while drawing up the dream scene that was only going to be that tiny little image....I have no regrets.

Just in case here's the rant

WHAT THE FUCK! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KISS MY HUSBAND? WHAT A SHITTY DREAM! MENG MO COULD DO BETTER. WAIT, THE ORIGINAL NING YINGYING DIDN'T DREAM OF-OF THAT RIGHT? I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. I THINK I WOULD REMEMBER? FUCK. IT'S BEEN SO MANY YEARS. DID SHE? AM I GASLIGHTING MYSELF? DOES THIS COUNT AS GASLIGHTING? REGARDLESS, WHY THE FUCK WOULD MENG MO SHOW ME THAT? WAS IT BECAUSE I WAS PUT IN A WIFE PLOT? SO HE JUST...JUST AUTOMATICALLY DID THAT? LIKE A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM OR SOMETHING? OMG! WAIT! DID BINGHE SEE THE WEDDING? FUCK! WAS THAT HIM THERE AND NOT JUST SOME FAKE? FUCK! WAIT! NO. HE WOULD STILL BE TALKING TO MENG MO... RIGHT? BESIDES, I’M A GUY! SO BINGHE WOULD NEVER WANT TO-TO...SYSTEM! DID BINGHE SEE THAT? WAS THAT HIM? SYSTEM! WHAT THE FUCK! WILL I BE PUT IN FUTURE WIFE PLOTS JUST BECAUSE I'M BINGHE'S BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD...

[spacecatdraws]

-learn about therians

-huh woah i am animal too

-talk to my theriotypes as separate people

-learn about systems

-i too have other people in my head, but im probably faking it

-“you need trauma to be a real system”

-oh. i am not traumatized. whelp, time to repeatedly tell myself im a fraud

-“dissociating involves feeling detached”

-oh wow, that sounds familiar. when none of my friends are around i just exist barely, like im floating and not really real. but i am not traumatized, so i am faking this too

-“amnesia is a part of systems”

-i often forget things. must be just the ADHD.

-“social exclusion/bullying is a type of trauma”

-i mean, i have like two friends and my attempts to make more end in ignoring or mockery, but that doesn’t count

-I am faking it. i should stay out of traumatic spaces because i would only hurt them

-“repeated social trauma is a serious problem”

-…i have to be faking it. I’ve never been shot or raped or assaulted or anything like that. i am not traumatized.

-i love my family and friends, so i can’t be traumatized

-even if school and life in general makes me want to stop living

-i am faking it.

-“to all systems: your trauma is enough. you don’t owe anyone anything. be proud”

-am I faking it?

-“endos are all either fakers or lying to themselves”

-i use endo as a sys term because i do not have enough trauma to be traumagenic, even though whoever i was separated i would play with the friends only i knew, so i am obviously faking it

-i am still faking it. buuut just to confirm, i will ask the tumblr

-“yeah no you’re def a trauma system. you dissociate and are subject to a trauma”

-that was not the answer I was expecting. try again

-“that sounds like you’re a system,”

-still not the answer I was expecting.

-even though the memories from my system are terrifyingly strong, I have traumatic responses to things that never happened to me

-maybe. i am not faking it?

-i am system. this feels correct. hello headmates

-“hello”

-[:

[laddertek]

desperation at the postal service

[tessabennet]

Songs that turn 20 this year

Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy | Best of You - Foo Fighters | Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz | Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand | I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At the Disco | Fix You - Coldplay | Photograph - Nickelback | B.Y.O.B. - System of a Down | California - Phantom Planet | I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Animorphs #11: The Forgotten thoughts (pt. 1):

Jake describes shrinking into falcon morph as "dwindling down like a fast-burning candle" (p. 14). You okay there, kid?

"Tobias came zooming up alongside us, zipping around like he'd been born a bird" (p. 16). I mean... y'ain't wrong, Big Jake.

This is one of those books that hinges on the whole idea that things break, even for space-people. Ships crash, because crashes happen. Random weapons malfunctions are a fact of life, if you carry weapons around. Shit happens. Even to alien invaders.

The whole first part of this book lends weight to my hypothesis that Jake is the most, like, aware of being mentally ill. He kind of just accepts that he's hallucinating, chalks it up to "Things I wish I'd never seen... things I'd done I wish I couldn't remember" and then goes back to planning the mission. Marco is the most aware the others are falling apart, that "One of us would snap" (#5), Cassie's the most conscious of the shifting team dynamics, and of course Tobias is the identified patient. But it's Jake who most openly accepts okay, I'm losing my mind; I'll worry about that later. "The good thing about rushing is it didn't give me too much time to think," according to Jake, "thinking meant worry, and worry gets in the way of getting things done" (p. 33).

Animorphs books can be read here | Book Club schedule is here

[starry-bi-sky]

what if i wrote a “shen yuan transmigrates into a wife” oneshot but the whole premise is based on the song “gone, i’m gone” from hadestown and its overall theme is wanderlust and freedom and it starts out as Shen Yuan settling into life in the palace and trying to avoid harem drama and thinking he can just live with his head down for the rest of his new life, only to be hit with a sudden intense yearning to explore his new world the likes he’s never felt before. What if he was sickly in his last life. What if he spent his entire last life indoors. Trapped between four walls. What if love is not a gilded cage. What if he begins clawing at the walls of his enclosure, desperate to escape because he wants to live, god please let him live. He can’t do this again. What if he spent months preparing for his escape and in that same breath getting the attention of some of the other wives around him because he has changed and it makes them wary. what if he got binghe’s attention as he is wont to do. What if he left. What if Shen Yuan was born with a bottomless pit in his stomach and a gaping maw in his chest. What if he was starving. What if he was starving for the world around him. What if i wrote that. What then

[sunderwight]

SV AU where Shen Qingqiu manages to convey to Luo Binghe, before sending him into the Abyss, that he's not rejecting Binghe it's just that his Heavenly Demon heritage means that he absolutely MUST go into the Abyss and do something (not particularly defined) because Binghe is the only person who could possibly do it and it is related to his destiny and the fate of the whole entire world, somehow.

So naturally Luo Binghe takes this to mean that there is an Extremely Important Mission that he must accomplish in the Abyss, and that he can't come back until he figures out what it is and does it.

It can't just be Binghe's own trial-by-fire training, because how could that be important to the fate of the rest of the world? (Binghe does not know he is the protagonist of a novel.) So it also can't just be making it to Xin Mo and then getting back out again, even though leaving and going home is what Binghe personally desires most, because how could there be any purpose to him going if he just rushes through and does nothing except try to leave?

End result: Binghe takes longer to leave the Abyss because he concludes that his reason for being there is to end the eternal suffering of its inhabitants by changing the nature of the domain to be less rampantly hostile. Which, it turns out, is harder than just escaping.

[kookicat]

So I had a panic attack yesterday which absolutely fucking *sucked*...

Was listening to System Collapse this morning and this popped into my brain and made me laugh.

These books *really* are my Sanctuary Moon.