#tagging bc its a problem ESPECIALLY in this fandom

[tethered-heartstrings]

reposting content (especially art/creations) that isn't yours is theft. reposting content saying "not mine" without credit is still theft. saving content that isn't yours to your phone or computer or copy/pasting and making a post without credit is fucking theft. it isn't accidental. there were intentional steps involved. why is this difficult to comprehend. imagine how it would feel to have something you made (especially for free, often in the case of fandom) stolen and someone else taking credit for it or at the very least not giving you the credit you deserve for having made it in the first place

[almostempty]

psa clint isn’t joel miller and if you’re flattening him into a joel archetype we need to talk about race again

i’m aware they both wear plaid, have a daughter, battle with grief, and are hot covered in blood and enacting violence

this isn’t a callout i just don’t remember where i saw these specific posts about the red handkerchief and clint as a ‘blue collar’ man. but i know i’ve seen plenty of clint = joel posts floating around. 

AND i wasn’t going to say anything bc i thought i was just being gatekeepy bc i didn’t wanna see clint get the dbf treatment which would be my personal problem and i can happily write about him on my own blog how i want etc etc and i know i don’t have to read anyone else’s takes BUT then i thought about it and once again…it’s always about race…

edit: i apologize for using such a specific example without reaching out to the person that made the post—i could have taken the time to find it before using it as a launching point, that's on me. the handkerchief post wasn’t part of a huge fic or broader take on clint’s character (sorry for the jumpscare).

it did, however, stick out to me as a strong illustration of how important cultural context is. the issue is systemic not interpersonal. the rest of my examples weren't based on any one post—the blue-collar, marlboro man, works-with-his-hands, joel-coded/lana del rey-coded/ethel cain-coded vibes have been everywhere: fics, tags, comments, posts, tiktok edits. i know there’s nuance in fandom culture—tropes, memes like “close enough, welcome back joel/javi,” “____ coded” jokes, music, etc. and if we can understand that level of context for internet culture, we can understand the importance of racial context too, right?

i stand by the rest of what i said and will continue to argue that cultural context matters if you consider yourself an anti-racist reader or writer.* re: the post i saw somewhere about someone having a head canon about clint having a red handkerchief as a snot rag - sorry i forgot where i saw it and this isn’t an attack on whoever wrote that, but an fyi to anyone thinking about him the same way… if you’re writing a latino man in 1987 oakland—especially someone working street-level jobs or tied to criminal economies—and you think a red bandana is just a ‘snot rag,’ you’re missing major context

fyi, in 1987, color politics were not optional if you were a man of color in california. even though bloods (red) and crips (blue) originated in LA, their color codes and the larger gang culture around them were already known across the state. in northern california specifically, norteños (tied to the nuestra familia prison gang) wore red. their rivals, sureños (tied to the mexican mafia), wore blue. 

who cares? even though oakland wasn’t dominated by bloods and crips the way LA was (in part due to the black panthers), it had its own street crews, plus a heavy norteño/sureño influence by the mid-80s. even outside organized gangs, the association between red and gang affiliation was strong enough that wearing a red bandana could get you profiled, targeted, or attacked—by cops, by other crews, or by random people trying to read your allegiance.

if you were a latino man in oakland in the 80s—like clint—you wouldn’t carry a red bandana by accident. it would be flagging. even if you weren’t affiliated. as a street smart guy, survival would mean being hyper-aware of how you present yourself, especially in neighborhoods policed by gang dynamics and racial profiling. cops would use color displays like a bandana as probable cause for harassment searches or worse during the height of the ‘war on drugs’ and the crack epidemic. 

characters like clint—latino, working-class, street-adjacent—would have understood the consequences of being read wrong. this doesn’t mean no one ever had cloths, handkerchiefs, or functional rags. it means the color and the way you carried it mattered: what pocket, what visibility, how deliberate it looked.

throwing a red bandana in your pocket wasn’t neutral. it wasn’t folksy. it wasn’t just blue-collar roughness. it was a risk, and survival was about reading the street, not walking through it like color codes didn’t apply to you.

clint wouldn’t casually rock a red bandana like a cowboy. latino men have never had the privilege of being casual about how they're read in public, especially not in a city like oakland, especially not in the 1980s.

re: clint as a ‘blue collar’ character there’s a difference between being blue collar and being trapped in criminalized labor. wearing a plaid shirt and working with your hands doesn’t automatically make someone a blue collar worker in the traditional sense. 

blue collar historically refers to wage labor—construction, manufacturing, trade work—where the worker is paid (poorly) but still operating within the boundaries of legal employment. union jobs. often unionized labor, tied to systems that, at least in theory, protected workers through collective bargaining, benefits, and job security. those protections were never equally available, especially to workers of color, but they existed as part of the larger working-class structure. 

clint’s labor isn’t protected, it isn’t recognized—it’s criminalized. he’s disposable labor; surviving in a system that sees him as expendable from the start. calling him blue collar erases the fact that he’s not inside the working class safety net. he’s on the outside, paying off debt with violence he didn’t choose.

it carries a specific context of class exploitation, yes, but it’s still different from the kind of criminal coercion characters like clint are caught in.

clint is not a proud working man making an honest living. his entire arc in freaky tales is about being forced into violent labor to pay off inherited debt he had no choice in. he is not rough and gritty because he chose a rugged life. 

he is rough because he was born into a system designed to keep him indebted, desperate, and expendable. he’s not working a blue collar job—he’s surviving in a criminal economy that feeds off people like him, using violence he doesn’t even want to enact just to stay afloat.

flattening clint into a vague ‘marlboro man’ archetype (joel coded)—rough clothes, kind heart, good intentions—it strips away everything sharp and painful about his actual story. it whitewashes the complexity of being a latino man criminalized by birth and survival, not by choice. it reframes his struggle as a generic americana fantasy about working-class virtue, when what’s actually at stake is how structural violence forces people into roles they never asked for.

especially when it’s a latino character, this flattening isn’t neutral. it erases the realities of racialized labor, racialized criminalization, and survival. clint’s tragedy isn’t that he’s a gruff tough guy with a soft interior. his tragedy is that he was forced to become violent in order to pay off a life he was never allowed to own, and he carries that weight without any guarantee of getting free.

clint and joel might overlap in aesthetics, being single girl dads, and physical strength. reducing clint to a copy of joel misses everything that actually defines who he is..

joel miller is a texas man—shaped by frontier mythology, southern survivalism, deep mistrust, and violent individualism. he is, by his own admission, a man whose grief and guilt hollowed him out so badly that even his brother was scared of him. he’s not just traumatized; he’s actively dangerous, closed off, and isolated. his story is about losing his humanity and clawing parts of it back, maybe too late.

clint is not that. clint is an oakland guy, east bay, west coast, working-class and criminalized, not because he chose violence but because he was born into debt he could never pay off. he’s an underdog, not an antihero. 

he’s soft with his woman, he lights up under her attention. he’s goofy in the video store with the clerk. he’s not some hardened loner who scares everyone around him. he’s just a man trying to survive a system that was designed to use him up.

flattening clint into joel is misreading two characters with different emotional cores and fetishizing the aesthetics of pain and ruggedness while ignoring race, class, place, and survival context.

clint isn't a texas cowboy; he’s a west coast underdog who knows every step he takes could get him crushed, and he still tries to protect the people he loves without letting it rot him from the inside out.

the tragedy of joel is that the world took everything from him and he let it turn him into something colder, crueler vs. the tragedy of clint is that the world gave him no choice- he says he was born into breaking bones to pay off his father’s debt, and he still tries to hold onto his softness anyway.

if you can’t tell the difference it's just a projection, a fetishized joel trope cast onto another character… 

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 23

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday!! every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Ribs by @buoyantsaturn

“Hi, um. Sorry, I hope I have the right number. Is this Will Solace? Shit, sorry, you can’t answer me, this is a voicemail. Um. You modeled for my life drawing class, and I was wondering if you could model for me privately? Wait, shit, that sounds creepy, hold on. Start over. My name is Nico di Angelo and I’d like to hire you as a model so I can complete my final portfolio for my class. The one you modeled for. Um. Please call me back if you’re interested. Thanks.”

OH this was so so good. first of all, love the concept of broke med student nude model will and artist nico, idk something about it seems so classic. like if i had to pick an au of them having only read pjo once and never experiencing fandom, that is what i would choose. there is also fact that it was written by cj and cj has never once missed. LOVE this fic.

2. My Neighbor, The Sex God by @cherrypie62666

Piper pursed her lips, tapping a finger to her chin; all the while her hazel eyes twinkled at him with barely controlled amusement. “So, you have a problem with your neighbor,” she said slowly, waiting for his confirmation.

“Yes,” Nico hissed, shooting the girl a withering look, which did absolutely nothing other than possibly amusing her even more.

“And your problem is… that he’s too hot,” she finished, tilting her head to the side and grinning wickedly.

“My problem,” he grumbled, brow creasing at the overly pleased look on her face. She was far too unsympathetic considering he was sleep deprived and cranky. “Is that every night when I come home, he’s standing in front of the window, completely naked! I don’t know what to do. It’s like his ass is a magnet for my eyes, and it’s always there, without fail, waiting for me to come view it.”

THIS FIC IS SO FUNNY. its not nsfw but you would think it is, mostly its just hilarious. like, first of all, What a freaking concept. lol. also the tags "inner struggle, when does nico not have an inner struggle" made me fucking Lose my mind bc so so real. this is Such a fun fic and it balances romantic and platonic relationships and its so excellent i love

3. how i became the sea by @unwieldyink

"Nico’s legs were tucked into gaps of the lighthouse’s railing, dangling over the ocean below. He rested his head on the rail as well, letting himself get lost in the rippling ocean before him. If only he could get himself a little boat, one with a nice sturdy sail on it, and get lost in the horizon in person as well as in mind." Merman Will & Lighthouse Keeper Nico AU

DUDE OH MY GOD first of all merman will. second of all THIS FIC IS SO FIRE. 1.5k of what is, in my opinion, the best au trope of all time. i LOVE mermaid/lighthouse keeper, ive written something similar and i hope to one day to write it again, but no matter what it will NEVER be as fire as this fic. so tender. such quiet love OH how i love you quiet love

4. you're both terrible by @unwieldyink

“So why haven’t you mentioned you were friends with him?” Nico was silent. Percy had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. “Is it because you like him?” . a mortal au where nico was adopted by the jacksons. short little oneshot for solangelo week on tumblr, day 5- home

OH i love me some nico & the jacksons and nico & sally especially!!! this is so supportive and sweet and such an easy read i cannot recommend it enough

5. three-in-one soap by @thelordofshrimp

Austin glared at his sister. “Will can’t lie, genius. He says that since he became head counselor, any shower that lasts more than three minutes gets interrupted by someone needing his help.” “That’s… crazy.” Nico considered the number of showers he’d taken even in his short time at camp and imagined if even half of them had been interrupted. “It is,” Jerry agreed. “Not like there’s much we can do about it, though.” “You can always do something about it.” Nico sat up. “There has to be something.” “Not unless you can somehow keep the whole camp safe at once.”

OH i love some scheming, protective nico oh my GOD!! nico & cabin seven is so special forever and this fic was such a treat. nico who is sooooooo determined to give will a break. SUCH an intriguing read

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[ghosthoard]

i don't have money or time to play video games

i do want to play all the zelda games eventually for my own sake and my own writing but my friend gifted me totk two years ago (i think) and i still haven't played it because i know if i played it i wouldn't have time to create art or write because i'd be sucked in (which i can't risk because i need to focus on studying too). i've only played botw, again cause my friend bought it for me. games are expensive first and foremost and also they take a long time for me to finish and require me to set aside time. i really wish i had gotten into it when i was younger, when i had more time, but well, i got into it in grad school.

if i were to wait until i played all the games to create anything for the fandom, i wouldn't be able to create anything until at least 5 years later.

so i tend to be discouraged by people who say things like "they haven't even played the games".

it's odd, because this really reminds me of the fans in the batfam fandom who insist that the fans who haven't read the comics are dumb and really talk down on anything they make. i think i saw most of them on twitter when i used to use twitter. i'm glad i don't really see stuff like that on ao3. but again, the problem is, a lot of the fans don't have the time or money to read comics. (also for DC in general, it's a pick-your-canon situation because there are so many comic writers that have their own version of the characters too so i don't understand people who say that comics should be where you get all your information when the characters vary from writer to writer, just like in fanfiction, it's about finding a writer you like) AND ALSO DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GENERATIONS AND ITERATIONS AND COMIC RUNS EXIST IN BATFAM ALONE??? ITS NOT LIKE MANGA WHERE IT'S A CONTINUOUS STORY BY ONE WRITER, IMAGINE IF NARUTO WAS WRITTEN BY OTHER WRITERS MULTIPLE TIMES ACROSS ALMOST A CENTURY. YOUNG JUSTICE AND TEEN TITANS THE ANIMATED SHOWS ARE FANFICTIONS IN THEIR OWN RIGHT.

anyway

i don't think its reasonable to say i should play all the games before i create something. i want to create. i want to be happy. this is supposed to be fun.

i think i'd agree that those who insist that an interpretation of a character is wrong/right when they haven't seen the source material or try to do an analysis of the character in the context of the source material shouldn't do that, if you want to do analysis posts about canon, that's when you should know the source material, but a lot of the time it's the fanon version of the character they're talking about through headcanons. and also a lot of the time, these types of fans that only know the characters through fanon are children and/or are new to the concept of fandom. i would assume the version of a character that i've seen first or that everybody is talking about was the only way to think about it too if i was new and young.

in fact at my grown age, i was one of those people who tagged a non-LU art as LU, because a lot of the links across link-meets look pretty similar, because people are designing their links based on canon so they're going to share similarities. i saw another au creator state that they were scared of giving twilight a fur detail bc it would look too much like LU but did it anyway bc they wanted to (as they should) but also i feel like that proves how easy it is to mistake the designs. after the creator of the art i tagged incorrectly corrected me, i was more alert about it going forward (honestly i've just been sticking to LU creators to be safe at this point).

and people are right, LU is very popular. it's the ONLY links-meet i knew about when i emerged from botw and my friend told me about it. i honestly wasn't aware there were other versions until way later. especially because the names are pretty similar across links-meets and again the designs are too so i don't think it's all that surprising people get confused and just tag it LU. now imagine you're new to even the concept of fandom AND still in junior high. (side note, i have a couple of cis-straight male friends who are zelda fans and they don't use twilight or time or wild to call the characters, which i think is crazy because it'd be much easier than "twilight princess link" or "ocarina of time link". actually, speaking of cis-straight male fans, a lot of them say the same thing people hating on the LU fandom say, that we (transformative fandom) as a whole haven't played the games, especially when we say we headcanon the characters as queer or if they have autism or if they act differently than the "cool, masculine character" they think the links are.) this (different links-meet aus) is a very unique situation in fandom i think, from my go-around fandoms, naruto, one piece, batfam, haikyuu, the hobbit, etc haven't had different au beef to this extent or at all. it's honestly so fascinating. it's like everybody wants to be separated from each other in a way. (edit: i GOT IT! IT'S BC THE LINKS HAVE BECOME PERSONAL OCs MORE THAN SHARED CHARACTERS, THEY'RE NOT FIGHTING OVER SHARED CHARACTERS, NOT EVEN THE INTERPRETATION OF SAID CHARACTERS LIKE MOST OTHER FANDOMS, BUT SINCE THEY MADE THEIR OWN STORY, THEIR LINKS ARE MORE THEIR OCS THAN ANYTHING THEREFORE SOME PEOPLE FEEL MORE DEFENSIVE THAN FANS IN OTHER FANDOMS WOULD, IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—also most aus are shared between fans in other fandoms, like in batfam they have talon!dick or reverse robins, in the zelda fandom it's more a personal project, also in the microcosm that is LU the LU fandom have aus within the au which are exactly how other fandoms usually do aus, it's all so fascinating!) also i think the fact that LU is so much more popular than any other au adds to it. i've never seen such a phenomenon in other fandoms where one iteration is so much more well known.

LU is popular, i think the most popular links-meet au, at least on tumblr. (jhoca and ovega-karts works are getting more attention as a result of the comic dubs voice actors have done on YouTube) it's what one of my friends called "the gateway links meet au" which means a lot of the new zelda fans are getting funneled through LU first, which means a lot of them are young, new to fandom, new to zelda, or a combination of those. (also, especially for the first two, young and/or new to fandom, means they are susceptible to purity fandom culture, watch out for that). i'm not trying to excuse if people have done harmful things on purpose in the past or in the present but i feel like ignoring this context is doing more harm than good: the context being that because LU is popular it's where all the newest fans end up, and new fans are still learning.

and i really sympathize with creators who keep having their art tagged wrong, whether it was an accident by the tagger or not, because after a while i can understand for some people it can get annoying. but like this recent situation i feel like this pent up frustration is causing people to get too eager to jump on any perceived slight and honestly come off as a bit of an asshole.

i saw someone say they should just block every LU fan at this point, (meaning for it to be a punishment i'm assuming), but honestly yes, please do if it will give you peace. we don't want to be in places we're not wanted either. but it'll be hard, because again, LU is the gateway new zelda fans will come through and they will keep making the same mistake.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #8642:

While I agree with the notion that “just because its shippers are toxic doesn’t mean they shouldn’t make the ship canon as punishment” I think most people who make this argument are missing the bigger picture: When a ship becomes canon, especially an already popular one, toxic shippers often have their ego and entitlement inflated and increase their bullying and harassment of dissenters, will become less likely to tag their ship bc canon makes them think they don’t have to (to the detriment of blacklisters), and it becomes much harder for those of us who do not ship it to enjoy the fandom or be left alone. Please understand THIS is the reason people may not want a ship with toxic shippers to become canon; it’s not so much “punish the toxic shippers” as “oh no this will make the toxic shippers act worse.” Yes, it’s a complicated situation and “don’t make a ship canon if its shippers are toxic” isn’t a good writing principle (bc almost every ship has toxic fans), but please understand there are valid concerns in not wanting a popular ship with toxic shippers to be canon.

[iamnmbr3]

not really into hp, i followed you for something different years ago, but i'm sorry about the hate you get for being in the hp fandom. honestly i think those sorts of asks you get actually demonstrate really well a general problem we see on the internet. bc social media was originally for interacting with friends & people of similar interests, but for the past like 10 years (at least, idk i'm gen z & it was like 10 years ago that i really started being on the internet but it's entirely possible that this was happening before that) there's also been a big push for social activism on the internet. which is fine, it's a great way to spread information. but somehow people have blended using social media for activism and for entertainment to the point that people nowadays think you can use fandom for activism (which...you can't. shipping mlm or whatever isn't activism). which has caused a lot of problems bc they also combine this with purity culture in many ways (you can't ship x bc it's bad, if you like this movie you're a fascist sympathizer, x book from the '70's is bad bc of outdated language despite that it was groundbreaking for the time, all classics are bad bc they were written by white men hundreds of years ago, etc).

idk, i don't understand why ppl are so against the hp fandom. obviously jkr is horrible. but i havent seen a single hp fan on tumblr that's been pro-jkr. & i've seen tons of trans and otherwise queer people that are still in the fandom, as well as people from other minorities she's said horrible things about. but it feels like people are more focused on hating jkr than supporting trans people (which is actually is a criticism i have in many different things) & that extends to hating anything remotely hp related including random people. & if it's really that big of a concern, people should block the tag. if it's going to upset you, block it. it's not that hard. i block so much random stuff just bc i find it annoying (ie the met gala).

but, yeah, random person on tumblr talking about hp isn't going to hurt anyone or give jkr money. you already have the books (& movies if you care about them) probably since before jkr was the way she is. no more money spent. & honestly as long as you don't give jkr money nothing anyone on tumblr does is going to help her. i'd say that most people can't do anything on social media that'll help jkr. like unless you're an influencer on tiktok & promoting it & not openly anti-jkr, you're probably not helping jkr at all. (also random side note bc i like browsing at thrift stores, if anyone wants anything hp related i've seen a ton of hp shirts, books, etc at thrift stores lately. like i said i'm gen z so my parents have the books but i don't. i will thrift them someday if i ever decide i want them).

but i do find it concerning that people think they can tell a hp fan that they are supporting transphobia but they probably do nothing to help trans people. when really the best way to combat jkr is not to attack harry potter but to attack transphobia by donating to relevant causes, protesting, etc. especially if you live in the uk due to current events.

also side note i see lots of people saying "harry potter was always bad all along." i'm sorry but the amount of money jkr made in such a short amount of time and the massive affect hp had on pop culture is proof against that. or did people forget that every other fandom has hundreds of fics that are hogwarts aus. & i've started to see the same thing happen with neil gaiman's stuff. which first off i doubt jkr even really thought about trans people when she wrote the books, the books were written during a time when queer rights weren't that good & the average person never even thought about queer people. it's not a manifesto as much as she wants to say it is today, it was just a story. a story that was written fairly well. it has its flaws, but nothing's perfect. i don't think we should retroactively say hp is the worst series ever just bc jkr sucks. same with gaiman. bc that's just purity culture wrapped up in supposed wokeness. "my pure books written by my pure author." listen, jkr's bigotry doesn't make her books badly written.

sorry for the kinda confusing rant, i'm not focusing very well rn lol so it's kinda all over the place. but sorry about this crap. & i hope that people will start actually trying to do something to help queers instead of sending anons to random fandom blogs.

So many great insights here! Thanks for sharing. I agree completely. I like Shakespeare. It doesn't mean I think that we should go back to the way society was in the 1600s. Also, liking something "pure" doesn't make you a good person. You have to actually do the work of being a good person. No shortcuts. Also thank you for the kind words! So nice of you to send words of support along with your interesting well articulated thoughts!

[elainsgirl]

why does eluciens and gwynriels act like they dont have toxic, immature people on their side? its not just elriels.

Hey anon 🫶

Bcs most of them are toxic and immature themselves so they don’t want to admit they’re part of the problem. They like to act superior to elriels, as though they’re the best since antis are so popular & loud - but they’re just as bad if not more so.

Every single side of this fandom will have trolls and toxic people. However, I think most of us from all sides should be mature enough to understand when someone is being a troll for attention. Recently, elriel content is being placed into the inboxes of antis. Personally, I think it’s fuelling the trolls and making this fandom more toxic when antis reply to those asks - dissing elriels and their rightfully tagged posts. I have not seen an elriel answer an ask which is a copy-paste of an antis’ post. Yet the other side are doing it all the time. I genuinely don’t think its that hard too simply delete the ask not giving it any attention. Even today for example, I was discussing some arguements with an anti elriel and when they realised their replies where no longer making any sense, what did they do? Insult me and my reading skills, then proceeded to block me. That is being immature.

Which side note: Can we for a second talk about how much misinformation gwynriels and eluciens spread? Twisting the canon text to suit your interpretation is one thing but to blatantly lie about whats written in the books is completely another especially as these GA/EL stans have a large platform so their misinformation spreads so fast.

Anyways, anon, antis turn a blind eye to their own toxicity because they don’t want to own up to it. Elriels can be toxic, but eluciens and gwynriel are no better.

also…lowkey when I compare elriels being toxic to antis being toxic - I do feel like elriels hold themselves back a lot.

[fivewholeminutes]

I apologize if this comes across as rude but im really interested to know what sleep token twitter yall stumbled upon...? because im there as much as i am on here and ive literally seen people openly drop names in the main tag here, while on twitter you can have a private accound and.... ive only seen past projects discussed there? not even pictures or names (at least from the ones i follow) Unless what youre talking about is older st tweets from their account, then yes, some assholes with like 0 followers did drop Vessels name a couple times from what ive seen, but i have yet to see a name drop or something simmilar by someone who has more than a fart for a follower (meaning it doesnt show up on the tl if they post, and if its in someones replies the poster can hide it) I feel like the problem with it is the same as its on here, ocassional name or face drop that cant really be stopped, and its always from someone who, like i said, probably has 0 followers and made that throwaway to fuck with people. As unfortunate as it is. Again, sorry if it came across as rude, but like... no need to ward people off twitter for no reason lol, its pretty welcoming there as somene whos been in the fandom since 2022 🤷‍♀️

Hey anon, you're not rude at all, dw!

The aversion to sttw is a common thing here on tumblr, trust me. I'm glad to hear you managed to have a good twitter experience, cause damn. That is a gem. I'll tell you my personal experience with twitter. It's all from around spring-summer 2023, more or less.

I wasn't an active member of the st community there, i was only lurking, mostly in the search tab. Looking for words "sleep token" for the very first time made me reluctant to be a part of that community in the first few seconds of my search lmao. That venture into the search tab happened on a day the band was literally a few minutes from starting their set on one of the festivals. Some users were discussing the band being 30 min late, which is a completely normal thing, especially during festivals, when the scene is not free for a whole day for the band to set up their stuff. Those users were complaining that vessel most likely is getting drunk before the set, or is too drunk to get on the stage and this is totally why the band is late. Not accepting any other explanations. Many others were agreeing with them, joking about it and so on. 30 min is really nothing. The starting times for any concert of festival are almost never the actual times the sets begin.

Apart from that, my searches usually had a "true" metal fan revealing their names every 10 posts or straight up showing me cryptocurrency posts, just because they had the word "token" in it. That was tiring. Again, that two aspects are not really sttw community's fault, but they made my experience worse.

And hey, maybe if i started following a few people and kept my sttw experience only to them, it would be better. We'll never know now tho and frankly. I couldn't find anyone who would post there stuff i was interested in enough to follow.

The assholes with 0 followers were commenting on random sttw people's posts too, resulting in no post being safe from seeing their names. The boom after the band became popular bc of the summoning blowing up was luring those bastards in like moths to a lamp fr. Every time i tried to look for some cool st-related stuff i was stumbling upon a dozen of those people.

And then. I remember a drama where more "popular" sttw accounts started to have a war with some other account about god knows what. Don't remember the details, but like. The attacked account dared to comment on something the more "popular" accounts said and then that account and all their friends and minions started a bullying campaign against that one person. That was very distasteful for me. Especially that it wasn't something bad, they just didn't agree with the "popular" account about something.

So, sttw was always kind of a clique that would send hounds after you if you weren't thinking exactly like them. I think that drama ended up with the "popular" account being driven away from twitter, because people started standing up to them and a lot of nasty stuff they were saying about other people was revealed. Man, it was almost 2 years ago, i don't remember the details well. But in general, when fandoms have "popular" accounts/blogs that are worshipped almost as much as the actual thing the fandom is about, nothing good comes from that, ever.

Then there was a drama about one user who was claiming they're iv girlfriend. With some personal photos of iv being sent to that person's friends and stuff. Another red flag for me.

I left twitter shortly after, due to whatever the musk rat was doing with it, not necessarily because of the st community.

Now i only hear about yet another stupid take or drama from there from my mutuals on tumblr who for some reason still have more patience for twitter than me.

The one about "uwu don't draw vessel with his scars, because we don't wanna see them but also bc uwu we care about him" was the latest spectacular fuck up on sttw's part. I won't go into detail about this one, i covered it before and i don't want to go back to that one, cause the "art should be comforting" stuff and treating vessel like he isn't a grown ass man still makes my blood boil.

There was also another drama recently that got talked about here on tumblr, but i forgot what it was about, oops.

So. That'smore or less why twitter community is being frowned upon here, anon. There is just Always Some Stupid Drama there.

[antimony-medusa]

idk how long ago u wrote them but I came across some of ur posts abt how some dsmp authors don't realise they're writing kink stuff bc its not romantic or sexual and I've got to agree.

I've just recently joined the fandom and I've got no problem with kink content, I enjoy it on occasion but I'm coming across the problem of people not tagging things properly. Just because it's platonic doesn't make it not kink, just because you're reskinning abo with things abt them being "hybrids" doesn't not make it abo.

Especially with the like dark sbi stuff, I just wish people tagged things properly

Yeah I think this is further complicated by the fact that people a) legitimately don't know that it's kink content because it's non-sexual and they think that means that it can't be anything like that, b) would get hate mobbed on twitter if they put sex-adjacent tags on their work. You kind of have to take it so that "non-consensual touching" and "hybrid instincts" will mean a dubcon scene at least, if not noncon, and "hunter/prey" means vore is a possibility, and anything with vampires will be WILDLY erotic, and anything with "hybrid instincts" and "instincts manipulation" will be omegaverse in all but name. While all being technically platonic! They police the edge of that line VERY strictly.

The thing is you can kind of get used to the Dark SBI tag or at least take it as a "choose not to warn" tag, but the thing that makes me wail is the knowledge that these people are still going on to new fandoms and then they do NOT know how to tag, and then they're importing their norms (untagged consent issues) with them in The Witcher, or Batfam, or something else. Bad news for the other fandoms.

[bitchlessdino]

Get to Know Me!

technically tagged by @gyubakeries <3 (tiya ily you're so sweet always)

what's the origin of your blog title? 💘I was originally known as underratedlovedone and wanted a brand change so i did a whole fuckass poll on google forms (pre-tumblr polls btw) and that was so fun. I believe a mutual suggested this name and im sorry but rn their name escapes me. I was almost dildodino....

favorite fandoms: 💘I ult seventeen, that's obvious, got7, and recently yall have seen i've been getting into l0ve and d3ep spac3 (its a fucking problem and I’m not ready to be found yet), but otherwise what else hmmm, I'm a pretty causal listener to most of the rest kpop/krnb. smosh is fun, i love a good laugh, i think half my humor is svt other half from them or smth like that. i get so addicted to things and move on so quicky i'm trying hard to remember rn.

OTP(s)/shipname: 💘These are ship dynamics i absolutely love. Not romantic for obvious reasons. Wonchan, Boochan, Boogyu. it's hard bc i really love group dynamics, like 2+. SVT is so perfect for that actually. and really my ships are usually whatever is my current obsession at the time

favorite color: 💘light blue but specifically, #8AA7CC. it's called polo blue for some reason idk. but this was actually very close to the blue i had for my wedding and its so pretty.

favorite game: 💘I played persona 3:overload for MONTHS, my husband would literally see my gremlin ass at the tv with my controller grinding tf in those dungeons. I'm also a sims enjoyer, l0ve and d3epspac3 again lol, gta6 when it finally fucking comes out gdi rockstar

song stuck in your head: 💘the love and deepspace intro.....its hauntingly beautiful it actually scares me a little. And "if you leave me" by svt is my comfort song rn

weirdest habit/trait? 💘uhhhhh. I pick up on people's speech patterns all the time. Its how i was able to semi-learn some languages or accents. One time i was on a work call with a client that was from Alabama and maybe bc i'm from the south but i started to actually mimic her subconsciously. to this day i hope i didnt offend her or anything. you'll also learn that i'll yap alot reading this. and 'lol' or 'like' and unhealthy amount and i hate that.

hobbies: 💘I write a lot on my own time, i just sometimes don't post it bc its often incomplete or not fully-fledged. I also read, which i need to get back into bc my tbr is long asf. I sing but not as much as i used to. I also cook. sometimes game. Kdramas, anime whatever it’s ongoing at that moment anyways. I enjoy my free time.

if you work, what's your profession? 💘bro when i was working, it was at a bank as a business analyst, sounds impressive, it wasn't. but i miss the steady income

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? 💘 honest to god, i'd love to go back at tell my younger self to seriously try to get into acting. or film and its production/writing. It wasn't until adulthood that i realized i wanted to work in a creative environment but forgoed for 'realistic careers.' this may be your 4th, 5th, 36th life guys take a chance. there's an AU me out there there that pursued everything I wished for and I wish I was them.

something you're good at: 💘I would also love to know. but i think I'm funny sometimes and a little witty. sometimes i have to stop myself before i say some dumb shit tho, so i spit all that nonsense into my writing.

something you're bad at: 💘most things, especially pushing myself to my full potential. i know i hold myself back a lot. like i keep saying i'll write a book and publish will always have an excuse not to. not deep answer: i cant ride a bike and i refuse to. i just have no balance and i can barely stand straight ngl. and most physical games bc i am feeble i would not survive a zombie apocalypse

something you love: 💘food god i love food. and milk tea or boba tea drinks in general, call me a basic asian idc 💘human interactions but not including me but like people watching, i enjoy seeing a relationship grow and flourish overtime idk such a cute human things. i like to see the humanity in people. 💘the cats in my parents' neighborhood that have made ours and the neighbors across from us lawns pretty much their territory. a whole kitty gang. 💘and days that give me a good reason to put on a cute outfit, and do my hair and makeup. i'm at home a lot so those days are kinda special to me. I'm bare face 98% of the time.

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 💘seventeen or in general the 2nd-3rd gen kpop lore, that was my shit. I loved those days with the exception of some things. Oh, and the plots i have going on in my head and the characters i have in mind, building them is so fun to me.

something you hate: 💘 things that don't make sense. ok, i hate on a lot of things and a lot of things don't make sense or they are just an entity they cant help it, but how people let history repeat themselves or events occur knowing fully what's going on. it's just insane. things that don't make sense, i cant help but be frustrated. Also like all of twitter/x and its existence and what it’s brought out in people

something you collect: 💘svt albums but not sm recently, stuffed animals from a couple claw machine places in my area's chinatown, my old peoples meds bc im deteriorating at an accelerated pace, things on my tbr or to watchlist

something you forget: 💘most things like errands, which is why i gotta write in my little iphone notes. where i place my phone bc i don't look where i throw and im screaming for siri in my room to find it. sometimes things i enjoy until i rediscover it one day and that's kinda the best feeling ever like "wow i remember i loved you welcome back"

what's your love language?: 💘word of affirmation and good banter, but not just straight up teasing that gets so old, i want real tension that's just like. "yeah, I thought about you. is that a problem?" OR "So you think I'm hot? "Yeah, but you're still annoying."

favorite movie/show: 💘 I dont know if i have a favorite movie i am always changing my mind about what's good out there, but my favorite show ever is this Kdrama called "Moving" It's beautiful and i loved every side story even the adults like it was so beautifully curated. i still think about it a lot and am waiting for a second season.

favorite food: 💘banh mi, korean fried chicken, and sashimiiiii omg i could just go ham on either one right about now.

favorite animal: 💘cats and dogs <3, basic ass answer but i havent felt super drawn to a specific animal. Maybe a panda bc they're such a mood. ykw a panda they are something else everytime i hear about a report of them

are you musical? 💘I've sang since i could breathe. i vividly remember my younger self getting my parents to call the viet radio so i could sing on there live (this theatric bitch). I was in choir in my teens, and i for a moment learned viola but not so much anymore.

what were you like as a child? 💘annoying no doubt, and so much more carefree than adult me. like she did not give a single fuck and people liked that about her. i miss her.

favorite subject at school? 💘debate! it got me into public speaking and interpretive performance. I really enjoyed growing a voice from learning how to not only build and refute arguments, but it got me to practice my acting chops a little like i wanted to when i was little

least favorite subject? 💘math, unfortunately i was awful and did not pay attention so i kept messing up formulas. that was my fault tho

what's your best character trait? 💘i don't like saying it but my empathy? I've been told that that's how often i respond to most situations and often give people benefit of the doubt. i just never want to assume whatever is going in someone's life bc we really have no fucking clue.

what's your worst character trait? 💘honestly too much of a people pleaser or rule follower sometimes. i let my moral compass rule over most of my decisions and that's not particularly bad but that's how i'm often holding myself back i fear

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? 💘 i should have not eaten that pack of buldak ramen bc that was not good for my stomach. i need a real balanced meal especially after what i was told at my doctor's apt.

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? 💘idk if i want to change any big part of history, that is not something i could leave on my conscious if it blows up the world, but i'd like to visit my younger self that its okay to mess up and really go for things bc she can be so much more if she tried.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love): 💘i reallu want to read more but this one is and always one my mind: between you and me by my bb @haologram. it's just so good like shut up and and put this my man in my mo-

Anyways tagging anyone that wants to play!

[thebookofeibon]

a sweeter alternative

Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”

i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there

for now u can read under the cut!

i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.

his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real

this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.

i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rei-kun.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”

Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”

Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.

“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.

Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?

He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.

He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.

This vampire does need blood to survive.

He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.

“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”

“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”

“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”

Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.

“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.

“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.

“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.

Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”

Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.

“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”

“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”

Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.

“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”

“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.

“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.

“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”

Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”

Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”

“No!”

“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”

“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.

-----------------------------

It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.

Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.

“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.

“What time is it?”

“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”

“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.

Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”

They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.

“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”

He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.

“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.

“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.

“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.

Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”

Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.

“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.

“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”

“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.

“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”

“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.

“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”

Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”

Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”

“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”

-----------------------------

Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.

He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.

It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.

It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!

And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-

“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.

Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-

“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.

“Mm, of course.”

The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-

A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.

The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.

“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.

Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.

“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.

“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?” 

Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?

-----------------------------

Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.

“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”

“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.

“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.

Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.

Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”

“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.

But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.

“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.

Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.

“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.

Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.

Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.

“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.

“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”

“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”

“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.

Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”

Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”

Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.

“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”

“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.

Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.

Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.

“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.

Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”

The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…

Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?

No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.

It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.

He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.

“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”

Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.

“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”

Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”

“Perhaps.”

“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”

Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”

Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”

Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.

Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.

-----------------------------

It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.

Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”

He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.

“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.

“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.

“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”

Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.

“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.

“He didn’t take a lot.”

“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”

“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.

Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”

Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”

“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.

Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”

“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”

-----------------------------

As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.

Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.

But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.

Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”

Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.

With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.

“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.

Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”

Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”

He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.

Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“

“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.

“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”

“Then take mine off.”

Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”

-----------------------------

As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.

It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.

“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.

Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.

“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.

Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.

“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.

Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.

“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.

“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.

“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.

“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”

Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”

Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”

“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.

“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”

Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.

“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.

“Both of you! Disgusting!”

Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”

Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”

-----------------------------

Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”

Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.

Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”

He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”

Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”

Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”

Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”

Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”

That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”

Koga hummed. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”

“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”

Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”

Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.

“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”

“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.

“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.

Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”

Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.

“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.

Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”

Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.

Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.

“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.

“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.

No other reality would be better than this one.

[falloutcoys]

y do you hate on malev sm if ur a fan of it? like not criticizing its flaws but every time i see a malev fan callin it bad its u . thats no shade /gen im just curious y u engage w somethin u dont like

I mean, there is a lot I do like about it, especially in the first three seasons. I don't think that having problems w something means you can't enjoy things about it 🤷 there's tons of cool fan art and fanfic and I enjoy that plenty, and I don't think I shouldn't engage with it just bc I have problems with some parts of canon

like, I will exaggerate my feelings about it for comedic effect. you don't see my genuine criticisms on here because I honestly don't have the energy for the arguments that can bring. if I'm doing meta it's for the aspects of something I enjoy.

and I reeaaally don't think I'm the only one doing that either lol like, I have plenty of moots who put similar tags to me on posts. maybe it's bc I just come from a fandom history where bitching about the show doesn't mean you hate all of it, like that's a time honored tradition in the spn fandom lol

[acircusfullofdemons]

might private @/fractured-fables or just stop posting in it & talking about it on here occasionally. despite my best efforts fandom ppl keep finding it & I feel like it has to be "good" aka follow the source as closely as possible which obviously isn't how my brain operates. Idk. I just feel like every post I make on there is gonna have someone say "thats not right, change it". especially bc its classic lit & fairytales, which have many versions/interpretations and widely accepted facts that are actually misinfo about them. if feels like I gotta get everything Right Or Else.

@/madasacrow doesn't have this problem because ive changed the names so on the surface it just looks like a comicverse inspired thing which yeah technically it is. Idk it just isn't as obvious what the sources are or unlike ff I don't have to say certain names bc thats how the Tale is so it might show up in tags accidentally.

[heatherthetiredwriter]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @autumnwoodsdreamer <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently just one! I've got two others sitting around in drafts but I've not published them

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

8,742

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My one fic I've published is a crossover for three fandoms, Big Hero 6, Tangled: the Series, and Tales of Arcadia: 3 Below. So I guess I write for those three. And my other two unpublished fics are for Frozen and How to Train Your Dragon. DC as well kinda.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I've only got one so the list is just

A Game of Keep Away

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love comments and try to respond to them as soon as I get them! They make me so happy! Though... I do have a problem with... comments.... that I know come from a specific person being on multiple accounts that I try not to engage with too much.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So A Game of Keep Away is again the only one I've published and its got a LOT of angst and much more to come-- but my unpublished Frozen fanfic probably has the angstiest ending of them all

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's not really spoilers, especially since I haven't written it all yet, but A Game of Keep Away will have a happy ending! My unpublished, unfinished httyd fic probably has the happiest ending, but that fic is like never ending I swear---

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Never hate, which I'm glad for. I've had grammar police. But I don't mind them cos "dang it, how didn't I catch that?" My problem, again is mostly with the one specific person who comes and finds my fic no matter where I post it and comes at it with this energy that I do not enjoy. I am glad this person likes my fic but my goodness I don't need that energy in my space when I'm trying to write 😭

9. Do you write smut?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I already mentioned my only published fic right now is a crossover! I love writing crossovers!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had so many things stolen off of Wattpad. So. Many. Stories. Oh my goodness.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I am currently co-writing a fic with my boyfriend and our other friend, its called The Last Bat and I am just remembering its also on AO3 I think and that means some of my answers might be incorrect bc I didn't take into account that fic but I don't care cos its not on my account its on his

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

How could you ask me to choose between my favorites like that??? But it might have to be one from How to Train Your Dragon? It was the first thing I really got into. I remember shipping Hiccup and Astrid so hard. And Heather and Fishlegs as well. So maybe one of those two.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My httyd fic... It's too big of a fic to actually write I'm pretty sure. I might could make it smaller, but I'm certain it would take years to actually write out. I think currently it sits at seventy-five chapters? or something like that? But those were twelve year old me chapters and so I would want to re-write them and make them better.... and then I'd have to continue the story.... Like in my head, I'm fond of the story because it was my first ever fic, and because it was a way I connected with my now dead great-grandmother when she lived so far away from me (yes, I did get my great-grandma to sign up for a wattpad account when I was 12), but I don't know if I have the stamina to keep that up again. Plus this was the fic that kept getting stolen. I'm sure its floating around the internet somewhere, despite the fact that I took it down from all my platforms.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm really good at getting into a characters head. And I'd like to agree. Once I'm in, I know their everything. What they eat for breakfast. What color their socks are. How they'd react to the stupid trolley problem. So I never have any problems showing how a character reacts to something. How it makes them feel.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I definitely could be more descriptive. I've noticed I've only ever been descriptive with a character once and that was just because I was so into her head and I knew that instead of focusing on the dangerous missions she was on, realistically she'd be like "Oh I wonder what kind of fertilizer they are using for their poppies? They are beautiful!" So since then I've been trying to paint a visual picture better. Something that I am finding to help is figuring out my setting beforehand and like mixing ambiance players to give the right vibes. Then it tends to come easier. But its something I need to work on for sure.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

In the wise words of @autumnwoodsdreamer "One word: italicise." But also yeah I'll mix in other words. I've done a lot of dragonese for different httyd things. Elvish too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

How to Train Your Dragon

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Its not published anymore, it didn't survive my personal purge, but it was a crossover between httyd and the hobbit movies. One of my ocs antagonists from my httyd fic got teleported into the hobbit movies and fell in love with Kili. Who then of course dies at the end of the movie and she steals his body and does the whole viking burning boat funeral to try and send him to Valhalla. And then she comes back to her world and the main fic and is like "Imma be a better person so I can be with Kili in the afterlife :)" It was so cringe, but I was free and innocent and thought it was the coolest thing ever and I wrote like I was the most talented person in the world and honestly 12 year old Heather was onto something bc I'd like half of her confidence

No pressure tagging: @susanshinning @rachelbethhines shooot im trying to think of people I know that post on ao3........ if you post on ao3 then please feel free to join!!!!!

[transryanguzman]

i'm sorry. this post is very discourse-heavy i guess. i'll tag it as discourse and not as any pairings or fandoms because i don't want it to end up in the main tags. you don't need to read. i just want to get this out.

the problem is i actually DO enjoy tommy for what he is in the show - just like i enjoy Taylor or Shannon (actually no, sorry, shannon is my beloved and actually is on another level and taylor is kind of pushing that line) or Ana or anyone they've dated, or really ANY character. I think this show has a lot of characters that on the base level are really great at existing within the canon of the show and, even though some of them need to be mentally fleshed out a little, that's fine. they aren't mains and that's pretty typical.

and, like, i initially DID shy away from the buddie part of fandom because i felt a lot of pressure NOT to like him or to not follow people who hated him by those very same people or to shut my mouth and not have an opinion bc i am not a woman (and these words were spoken and made me feel very very gross about myself and my place in fandom and actually trigger a lot of feelings for me re: being trans and feeling guilty for not being a cis woman but that's another post). and so i found a space that felt a little bit better for that and just kind of had fun there for a while. i made friends there, like people i really really thought could be friends and not just Fandom Friends.

but it did become increasingly hard to interact, especially after the bt break up, because so many of the posts were just...negative. the negativity was a bummer, and it made everything feel terrible. it made it feel like actually enjoying the show that i spend the majority of my time in an online fandom for is wrong. and then 8b started and i found that excitement again because i just stopped caring about looking stupid and expecting buddie to happen (or even just wanting it to so badly that i'll scream about it happening until the very end). i realized that part of fandom just wasn't fun for me anymore because that pairing wasn't the one that truly spoke to and inspired me and made me want to spend my time in fandom.

after the last episode the actual aggressive hatefulness i've felt has been tenfold, too. like it was pretty bad after 9 and 10, but 11 has been on another level, and i realized that as long as i'm following those blogs and reading what they have to say, i am just gonna feel shitty about myself. (and tbh i'm having a hard time not doing that anyway because being called delusional and being told the show runner and actors hate buddie fans is actually really hurtful! who would have thought!!!!!!) i'm going to feel, to a certain extent, like i have to act a certain way and like the show a certain way, so i'm really sad i've lost friends. i'm sad that people unfollowed me that i really really liked on a personal level, but at the end of the day they didn't like me or what i bring to the table and i'm too old to be sad about it, i guess. you have to curate your own space. we all do. so i hope they actually do find they enjoy their time more without me clogging up their feeds with my buddie nonsense or whatever.

and really, this is just my personal feelings. no one should feel A Way about that fandom because of how i'm perceiving my own experience because i'm also very mentally ill and sometimes my perception and reality don't necessarily mesh and i assume intent where there is none. i don't hate everyone i met there or resent them. but some of them did make me feel bad about myself and that doesn't feel mean to say. i hope the ones still around don't feel targeted by this because i do still like the friends i made through that part of fandom.

anyway, the point is, i struggle with the part of fandom that feels very 'choose your side or else', and i think that's what this whole mess with everything in the last 3 episodes has been. its started to feel very pick a side or else and at the end of the day i choose the side where i find the most joy, and i find the most joy in buddie. they are my true loves of the 911 universe and i would die for them, so that is where i will be spending the majority of my time.

and it all probably made me a bit overly aggressive in the way i've spoken about it, probably made me come across as angry or mean, and that was never my intent. i just want to curate my space like anyone, and right now that space is going to be filled with buddie (and my beautiful wonderful friends who love a multitude of pairings who i would die for and don't want to lose.)

[patrocles]

❤️‍🔥 give us ur most unpopular opinion on hotd/asoiaf ships

well idk how unpopular this is and hopefully i can explain myself as concise as possible but i feel like the culture of shipping has genuinely eradicated so much critical thinking and analysis of how hotd and specific characters are talked about.

now i’m not saying that any individual ship is bad or shipping in general is (bc obviously that would make me a hypocrite). even if there’s ones i personally dont care for, i genuinely don’t care about their existence or people enjoying them.

my problem stems from how much personal identity is attributed to ships. this isnt necessarily unique to asoiaf/hotd but still extremely pervasive. what this looks like is people who get so invested in a ship that the mere existence of another feels like a personal insult. and instead of just accepting that other people have different tastes and preferences, their uncomfortable feelings puts them on the defense.

sometimes you cant even post about the thing you like without getting radioed and being insulted on a personal level bc your enjoyment of a ship directly contrasts with the way they enjoy a different ship. one person talks about the dynamic between alicent and criston and within minutes you can expect accusations of homophobia and being pro incel. one person says they’re interested in seeing what kind of character sara snow is, you’ll quickly see them accused of being an anti black racist. if you post about rhaenicent, you can soon expect accusations of shipping rhaenyra with her abuser. see what i mean?

i think people need to just unclench for a second

that all being said, i think the whole “i need it to cope” when talking about extremely taboo topics within shipping needs to be fucking eradicated. i’m all for advocating for people to curate their online experiences— if i don’t like a thing, i will do what i must to make sure i dont see the thing. however i think the promoters of things like p*dophilia in ships to a very extreme degree who like to default to a position of “well its all fictional its not serious!!” and even going so far as to mock people who dont like seeing pedo porn for being prudes make you look like an absolute asshole.

and to be very clear, i’m not saying that any specific theme or topic of dynamic is illegal and you cannot explore them. but shipping an adult with a child and writing explicit porn about it makes 🫵🏽 you the bearer of responsibility to make sure the people you dont want to see your content dont— that means utilizing tagging systems and more than just “dead dove” in bio cus that’s not a catch all term. and the whole “to cope” thing absolutely holds no weight when you’re going out of your way to trigger other people who may also be victims of the thing ur posting about. with HOTD especially, what i’ve seen a lot of is not even just a lack of grace or carelessness in a fandom space but a deliberate act of trying to be as extreme as possible to be edgy and to pwn the antis~

it’s really not other people’s responsibility to accept taboo ships/themes— that isn’t to say that you cannot engage with that thing, no one will stop you— but you also cant be shocked when people are uncomfortable if not wholly disgusted with explicit depictions of a character as played by a minor with an adult. like that’s just going to happen especially when you’re posting it on a public platform for everyone to see and it’s all just for your personal kinks