#take a sip…

[babycupart]

thirsty?

[zenathered]

I just found out the most hilariously amazing thing.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

"consuming media" is such an overstatement. at best I'm sipping it

[thorsonoflesbians]

for the monaco gp next year instead of the regular commentators can we have like ten retired drivers on a yacht with copious amounts of alcohol instead? like imagine jenson feeding nico multiple rounds of tequila shots and convincing him to drop brocedes lore so fucking insane it makes lewis' spidey senses tingle live on air. meanwhile, seb is trying to stop kimi from falling off said yacht every five seconds and mahk webbah is trying to either rope everyone into karaoke or is gushing about his adoptive son oscar. david is calling every driver who fucks their car into a wall a cunt and mika is on facetime with his husband and sipping a mai-tai in the hot tub and a least one of them is puking off the side of the boat in the end

[cheralith]

imagine you're getting married to kaiser and even though you're the bride, it's him that turns into an absolute bridezilla.

initially, you thought it'd just be a small event between you and him—just going down to city hall and be done with it—but when you had sleepily confessed to him one quiet night as he played with your fingers that maybe in another life, you'll get a traditional wedding, kaiser's determined to make sure you get what you want in this one.

and this guy kinda goes a bit bonkers. he's got everything planned in meticulous detail in this binder he carries around everywhere with all the information one could possibly need—vendor info, list of caterers, drafts of the schedule for d-day. at first, you think it's sweet, that he's going all the way for you and him. until he goes... a little too far.

he once grossly spat out his bite of a sample black forest cake right in front of the baker. "this is an insult to germany itself. never bake this again if you know what's best for you."

"i thought i asked for silk tablecloth with the chiffon runner?" he seethed at one caterer, grabbing the fabric and bunching it in his fist. "you thought you could fool me with this cheap-ass polyester?"

"i don't give a single shit if they're out of season," he cussed at one of the florists over the phone. "get me those tan hua flowers for my wedding or so god help me."

the list of caterers in his binder grows narrower and narrower—with some of their services slashed by kaiser due to "incompetence"(kaiser's words, not yours) or they flat-out refused to provide service to you due your fiance's temperament.

you tell him multiple times that this doesn't have to be a big event he has to stress over, that all you want is for you to tie the knot and to devote yourself to each other, but all kaiser does is kiss your forehead and tell you that he's got it covered.

"what kind of husband would i be if i didn't make my beloved's wishes come true, mein schatz?"

[damnedbeans]

*pushes a body out of the passenger seat in a stolen police car* ur lowk cute wanna go out

[myfriendgoo94]

Happy Thirsty Thursday 😛

[canisalbus]

Machete was lonely eating his soup so I drew Vasco eating soup with him.i also gave him an abysmally long snout.my apologies (I am no digital artist so it isn't perfect but I tried)

.

[hyunpic]

hyunjin — super elle [december 2024]

[brighhton]

just gotta expertly peel my orange before i see my ex lab partner whom ive been yearning over for literal decades you know how it is

[drawotion]

🏳️‍🌈 It is that time of the year again... HELLO PRIDE MONTH~! 🏳️‍🌈

[lead0]

horus drinking tea after a certain event

[cheralith]

— baby blue. feat. michael kaiser || wc: 890 cw: gn!reader, no pronouns used, girldad!kaiser, parenthood, no explicit birth process/pregnancy mentioned, fluff, lightly suggestive at the end a/n: rather lazy writing soz! nothing too deep here i just felt like being soft

"why are you so small."

"micha, she's an infant," you sigh as your husband narrows his eyes at the little baby girl held in your arms that just simply stares back at him blankly with doe-like gaze that mimic yours.

kaiser crosses his arms almost stubbornly as your daughter babbles at him, smiling widely despite the frown on his face. she shoves her head into your chest, pretending to hide herself, before she peeks out curiously to look at him, then giggling again when she sees him in the same position.

it's hard to see, but you see his eyes soften slightly at her laughter, ocean hues that match hers lowering their guard.

"so?" he mutters. "yoichi's son is growing so fast already, she needs to catch up."

"maybe because he was born four months before she was?" you suggest with a roll of your eyes, cradling your daughter's head tenderly as she rests her cheek on your chest again, the baby fat squishing against her face.

your statement that bypasses his sense of logic completely, kaiser going to pick her up from your lap and examine her body like a foreign specimen. she coos at him, her legs swinging in the air and gloved hands flailing about as he twists and turns her, brows pinched in concentration.

kaiser turns her toward his stony gaze again. his sourness goes completely unnoticed by her, a look that your daughter doesn't understand the meaning of, so she merely imitates her father when he tilts his head at her, her golden locks drooping over her face when she repeats his action curiously. you fight the urge to laugh, the playfulness she gained from you peeking through.

"you need to start crawling soon," he states sternly to her. "your life plan estimates that you'll begin to crawl once you're around seven months, but it's never too bad to start early."

babytalk isn't in kaiser's nature when it comes to your daughter—he'd rather talk to her in a more professional manner, one that mirrors a boss to an office associate, with the only time he tried it resulting in him cringing at himself and leaving ness, her godfather, to do the work for him. surprisingly enough, however, everything else in parenthood naturally to him—changing diapers, rocking her to sleep, even his sense in fashion when picking her clothes out seemed so intrinsically normal for him.

"you're getting quite chubby, too," he mutters, glancing at her belly that sticks out a little from her sky blue onesie—courtesy of him, of course. nearly all her closet is in different shades of the striking blue that tints her father's hair. "that's good, though. you need to grow big and strong so you can overtake yoichi's brat. give me something to boast about."

"oh my god, why are you treating her as if she's some sort of pawn?" you exasperate. "she's your kid."

"exactly," kaiser affirms with a nod of his head. "she's my kid so like her dad, she needs to be the best. her father's not a world-class soccer player for nothing," your husband turns to your daughter again, gently planting his forehead against her own as though he was giving her some sort of pep-talk like his coach does to him before games. "you've got some huge shoes to fill, you know that?"

your daughter only incoherently jabbers again, happily babbling and smacking her hands to the sides of his face, laughing when he visibly winces at the impact of her tiny fists on his temples. kaiser pulls a sour face at the pain and pulls her back from him, but his frown is quickly replaced with a confident smirk.

"you've got my strength already, huh?" he remarks slyly to your daughter, to which she replies with a soft giggle at the familiar u-shape of his lips—one that she knows people make when they're happy. "perfect. you're perfect. you're going to be the best in the world, i can feel it."

"don't set her up for high expectations," you warn to him, your warning going over his head as he swaddles your daughter in his arms and takes her away from you, plotting something to your disdain.

an upbringing of sorrow and isolation had made your husband rather apprehensive when he learned he was going to be a father. you suppose that because kaiser knew the worst of the worst from a child's point of view that it compelled him to offer only the best things in life to his daughter, hence why he spoiled her endlessly and gave her everything in life that he wasn't able to get when he was a child.

he wanted to ensure that his daughter knew she was wanted in life, unlike he was, that her existence was born from love and desire. and while he had an odd way of showing his love, the way he watched over her, cared for her, and nurtured her was still love all the same.

"you know what a soccer ball is?" he asks her as he presses a gentle kiss to her head, her little "aguh!" making him nod affirmingly. "good. get used to it. think of it as your sibling for now."

kaiser then throws a look over his shoulder, catching your gaze.

"just until you get an actual one," he says, his snicker being mimicked by your daughter when you gawk at him.

like father, like daughter—almost too much so to your discontent.

[cloudabserk]

who’s the strongest ninja in the world?

[pricklessubway]

Since no one has said it so im gonna say it that love my attendings teaming up

[choccy-milky]

seb & clora when they're curse-breakers, meeting with an informant or something. (i'm just feral for guard dog seb, ok 🥵)