#tbf i am physically very weak

[pbaintthetb]

more boys s4e2

s

A-Train again!

oop and his brother's showed up, here's some good shit then, yeah I thought they might be the nephews oh god I love his family it's great it's awful it's great

"I won't watch you kill yourself, out run this"

also back to starlight for a moment, the idea of starlight being a hopeful symbol, but a bad one to Annie

Nathan saying A-Train never saved anyone (and oof, yeah)

but also like, poor A-Train but allso also "out run this" and tbf this is the secon dattempt at reconciliatoin so

was gonna say that I appreciate that Butcher pegged Kimiko was drunk without even speaking to her btu actually consdiering Butcher's... everything yeah why I am I surprised?

FRENCHIE DON'T ASK KIMIKO TO HURT YOU

oh the two of them :-((((

OMG A-TRAIN IN THEIR OFFICE, yes I love it when A-train shows up on them. Massive end of s2 energy when A-train gave Annie and Hughie the lowdown on Stormfront's nazi past (and present lbr) because he knew he wouldn't be able to get back in as a black man

like he's very self serving, um but he's really interseting like and it's what I said last ep is that he's so sick of playing vought's tune at this point, like his heart attack made him see some things, but not so much regret as how weak his position really is and how much he dgaf

like, oh A-train's arc is always so fucking good

Annie "Thank Hughie. I would have blasted the shit out of you, and you would ahve deserved it." A-Train "[beat]. Yeah I agree"

I'm also particuarly interested by A-train's past with Sage and his off the cuff line about her being a genius but not knowing when to shut her mouth... lik ews he just being a generic dick and she said stuff he didnt want to hear or is this more meaningful- like Sage is smart but Homelander is deranged and powerful and wants her to be helpful but hates being "put down" like is she gonna say the wrong thing... or is she gonna piss off vought? or is she gonna be the new top dog...

lmao, homelander ruining all of vought's plans and sage's advice since the second he grew up

and oops. They killed the stunt guy. "you saved me"- that strangled voice, ryan's horrified stare, honey get butcher back in your life, cna't believe I said that- actually do what Butcher said (possibly a worse statment) get Mallory back in your life while Butcher fucks off again

oop that was a set up for them

"Your rifles are garish and vulgar"- frenchie istg I know you're like an ex weapons dealer/smith but lmao, also him being called a "surrender monkey"

uh... boys, I know Kimiko's immortal and all, but did you just lock her in with teh splinter clones in your escape

DECEASED at the photo booth pictures of Kimiko and Firecracker fighting

Frenchie's little smirk at butcher showing up vs mm's rage when telling him to fuck off.... i mean i know the circumstances are different but it's like... Butcher's always had a very different hold over frenchie vs mm. Indeed, Butcher has a hold, over frenchie and that is the source of a lot fo s3 tension.

And MM still comes through for Butcher where it counts, of course

uh, I mean Idk I don't want to advocate for murder but also... tey just let Firecracker go? damn the boys (sans kimiko perhaps) goign soft in their old age * I'm not truing to say Kimiko is soft, lord knows she is and can be violent, it's more that she's not for sensless violence against randos unless they pose a physical threat or were connected to her trafficking etc (reasonable) where as butcher is supe/blood hungry and frenchie's just... curious

HOMELANDER ISTFG don't pull out your supreamcist bs rn, or maybe do and perhaps ryan will realise what a pos you are, like pls tell me you can't reverse becca's teaching that quickly

"they're only human"

frenchie snorting drugs again

anyway s4 does feel a lot more like s1 but in a good way unlike d3 whch was like "what if we reversed all character growth"

Cherie! and uh she looks better than she has in thepast, she also looks uh, more with reality

OH FUCK COLIN AND FRENCHIE HAVE A PAST oop oop oop

oh frenchie ffs, does explain teh issues though, they were personal!

"I spent a week standing by the front door telling dad y ou'd be back" oh fucking god, oh hughie :-(

oh does the former Mrs Campbelll feel sad? cry me a river mate, you left, hughie has every right to be mad, and even if you're justified, hughie dont' know that and you hur thim. he has every right ot be mad.

[groenendaelfic]

i love APoT!!! the fandom def needs more abo fics but you've raised the bar so high lol

im so interested in an alt universe where wille presents as an alpha before meeting simon and that timeline i think itd be hilarious as well (wille's pov in APoT has me rolling)

the bar doesn't exist. there is no bar. it's an illusion.

there need to be so many more abo fics in yr*. Just think about all the possibilities! If anyone needs a cheerleader to write one, I am happily offering my services. *\o/*

ngl I have THOUGHT about this. Like capital letters and all, and it would be a very different fic (though tbf the same is true for APoT from any other pov), because Alpha Wille without Simon? In a universe like A Pack of Two? That Wille fucks. A lot.

You’d have pre-Hillerska Wille, probably at a party or in a club, with loud music and people grinding against him and pheromones and all, and well, if Wille presents there, with people actively wanting to get with the prince?

He’ll take what’s on offer, because our boy is horny, touch starved and does not know how to deal with his new instincts and feelings.

Combine that with it suddenly being expected and encouraged that he forms a pack and takes a bunch of mates to see to his needs, well, why wouldn’t he enjoy taking comfort in a pile of willing bodies?

Physical touch and intimacy is both nice and comforting, and it’s not like anyone except Erik ever hugs him, and Erik’s been away so much, first at Hillerska and now with the military and Crown Prince duties, and also orgasms are great, as is feeling wanted (even if it’s only for his cock).

Also for the first time in Wille's life his parents are proud. Of HIM!

Now while Wille presenting is still seen as great for Sweden, him having done so in the middle of Stockholm was also a tiny bit disruptive, and he’s too young to be shipped off to a large rural estate to only be brought out when foreign dignitaries etc need to be intimidated, and so boarding school it is.

Wille does not sleep in the dorms, but gets his own house etc on the grounds and there is a lot of paperwork (and birth control) involved, but becoming the mate of a royal Alpha is a huge honor, so everyone at Hillerska is very excited. (except Simon)

Wille is offered to bring some of his friends from Stockholm and maybe he will because they are familiar and maybe he won’t because for some reason they don’t really feel like real pack, or at least not how he thinks/is told that pack should feel, but anyway, he is sent to Hillerska but this time Erik probably isn’t there to see him off.

(Wille wants Erik to be HIS in a non-sexual way, but things are tricky right now because while they might love each other dearly, Erik likes being Crown Prince and Wille likes not being Crown Prince and while having Erik kneel to him and swear his undying allegiance would be weirdly nice—and Erik would, were they not who they are—it’s also something neither of them can have right now. People are already having thoughts about what his presentation means for the line of succession, openly)

Simon still sings in the choir and calls Wille and his family the biggest welfare receivers, and Wille takes one look at him and WANTS him, because Simon is smart and talented and beautiful, and he speaks his mind and is absolutely perfect, but Simon of course doesn’t.

Sure the Alpha prince is hot and makes him feel weak in the knees, but he also stands for everything Simon hates, and he’s seen the ecstatic news reports about the younger prince presenting and all the documentaries about Alphas which aired after, one more disturbing than the other, and Simon is not going to bow to anyone and he is most certainly not going to become part of some over-privileged, spoilt brat’s harem, no matter how big the doe eyes he makes at him are or how awkward his flirting, because that only makes Simon more furious.

The guy doesn’t even need to be smooth for everyone to want to get on his knot and to join his pack!

(no one officially has yet, but that doesn’t mean having slept with the first Swedish Alpha in 300 years isn’t still something to brag about and elevate one's standing)

And also he will never forgive the Alpha prince for making him drop to his knees along with everyone else that one time he lost his temper with August, because that felt right in the worst way, and just no.

Meanwhile Wille is very confused as to what he’s doing wrong (Erik is being no help, not that he wants Erik to help, but also he's getting desperate), because he really wants to woo Simon, but it seems he can do nothing right and Simon hates him.

There is naturally also that one time when Wille sees Simon being bullied for not making a secret out of his dislike and he snaps, because how dare they, and somehow that only makes Simon angry, and Wille doesn’t understand.

All he wants to do is make Simon happy and to suck his cock (he’s never felt the urge before, but he thinks it might be nice, it certainly feels nice when others suck his).

And then Simon makes one snappy comment too many, maybe ending in something along the lines of I'll never let you fuck me or make me your bitch, fuck you and Wille says yes, yes please and Simon is baffled and thinks that's a joke, but he's also horny and so they fuck and it's the best angry sex ever.

It's also Simon's first time and now he hates himself because he liked it and came so hard, and now the prince is smiling at him and telling him how good he was and that he finally understands why anyone would ever want to bottom, because giving himself to Simon is the best and he's so happy that Simon is finally his.

It takes Simon another 30k to be fully happy as well but once he is he's very happy.

The End.

*I checked. Currently there’re only six fics total, including mine, two of them in Chinese and only one ONE feat. Alpha!Simon (which I need to read asap along with the other four because decrying the lack of abo fic without having read what already exists is shameful).

Also now I’m thinking about my abo verse but with Simon as the Alpha and that … well that would definitely be a most interesting way to explore class differences and power dynamics … Simon would be so appalled with how differently he’s suddenly being treated.

Also also what about a more traditional abo verse where you don’t know your secondary gender until you present during puberty. Everyone expects Wille to be an Alpha and Simon a twinky socialist Omega, but actually Wille turns out to be an Omega (bonus points if he presents while topping) and Wille has ideas (and inclinations?) as to what it means to be a proper Omega (he likes kneeling for Simon and resting his head against his inner thigh) and Simon hates it because he believes in equality (and it's not like following societal norms can be treated like a kink, right?). And in the most fucked up twist everyone now wants Simon to knock up Wille asap because there is no such thing as absolute primogeniture or secondary gender equality in this 'verse and that makes Simon even more furious and then over the next 100k he burns down the entire system or maybe not.

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[incorrectqus]

Superheroes and their stupid weaknesses and my rankings of them:

don’t take this seriously lmao

Green Lantern(s) - The color yellow (3/10)

a whole goddamn color? Love you GLs, but that’s such a lame weakness. 3/10 because I like the color yellow.

Superman - kryptonite (6/10)

Seriously your weakness is a glowing crystal...lame. 6/10 because it’s a legit weakness however it’s still a rock.

Martian Manhunter - 🔥 (9/10)

Venom has this lame weakness, but tbf fire scary. 9/10 very reasonable and I still have flashbacks of this kid setting my hair on fire at church… don’t ask

Batman - bankruptcy 💵 (5/10)

Only thing dude needs to worry about is cash flow from his company. Oh and his other weakness is being normal physically. Mentally he’s. A goddamn psychopath. 5/10 very unlikely he’ll run out of money.

Red Hood - crowbar (10/10)

...you know why. 10/10 it had a 100% effectiveness.

Nightwing - redheads (10/10)

Me too buddy me too 😔. 10/10 this is also one of my weaknesses as well as blondes, brunettes, and tbh any and every hair color.

Wonder Woman - bondage (1/10)

Has to do with the idea that if a man ties her up she’s weak even if this dude is some every day Joe like what kind of weakness is THAT?! However it’s gone now but still 1/10 because mysogonistic roots and complete hire shit weakness.

The Flash - starvation (2/10)

Ok so technically this is a weakness for everyone but like if this dude doesn’t eat 20x his weight a day dude’ll fucking die before he can make it half way through star city. (2/10) literally man could run laps around Supes yet to do so he needs to make like 10 stops at Mickey D’s.

Cyborg - virus (1/10)

All the guy needs to do is try to pirate a movie and miss lick on a porn ad and boom his whole system shuts down RIP man. (1/10) I mean come on he can’t even watch anime and everyone watches anime pirated.

Aquaman - not being wet 😫 💦 (6/10)

Am I sorry for that emoji? No no I am not. Man needs to be wet (😏) to stay alive or he’s gonna be flopping around like a fish outs water. 6/10 because it goes with the fish theme and there’s basically water everywhere…except in space he’s be absolutely useless up there and would probably always need a little kiddie pool or would need a little fishbowl helmet.

Zantanna & Black Canary - not being able to speak (7/10)

I mean their powers are cool and all and they’re too of the most bad ass and finest women. 7/10 reasonable however if they get a cold they’re out for the count with their vocal powers, however they still got other trick up their sleeve.

Powergirl - Mother Nature (3/10)

She’s straight up allergic to the whole planet how the fuck are you weak to literally everything that’s natural? 3/10 she’s like the opposite of a vegan.

Allan Scott (OG GL) - wood (3/10)

Again if this dude fought in a forest it would be over for him. 3/10 because you can just walk him with a plank.

Starfire - tickling (5/10)

Lmao her weakness isn’t actually tickles but having control of her emotions is where her power comes from so 5/10 because you can just tickle her and she couldn’t control her emotions however if she is not ticklish then you’re shit outta luck.

[bookofmirth]

controversial opinion: the way sjm didn’t let nesta grow into her powers and train them even though nesta had that whole arc of never wanting to be weak again and never wanting to be at someone’s mercy is very strange to me. nesta is smart. she knows cassian is the strongest warrior and still saw him almost die on the battlefield. so i’m not sure why she thinks she can protect her and her friends from everything with just knowing how to throw a punch. it feels like she should understand that training and mastering her power is the only way to become unbeatable and to save herself and her friends from being hurt by anything.

obviously nesta doesn’t want anything cauldron given but her mating bond to cassian is cauldron given and she has no issues accepting that pretty quickly. and obviously sjm definitely has some bias to making sure rhys is always the most powerful (amren losing her powers, nesta losing hers, feyre never being described as stronger than him) and honestly i rather rhys gave up his own powers to save feyre and fix his own mess for once

but the other thing about nesta and not training her powers but rather physically training is that it puts her on the same playing field as cassian. this way nesta can never be more powerful than cassian. she will never be a better warrior than him so she’s always going to be inferior to him. she doesn’t have her otherworldly powers anymore so she’s just gonna train everyday and sjm is gonna do the same shit to nesta that she did to feyre. after their respective books, they’re gonna sit in a corner until they have babies

honestly i rather rhys gave up his own powers to save feyre and fix his own mess for once

This would have been AMAZING OMG. That would actually be a really interesting fanfic.

I feel like Nesta's internal journey was well done, I really do. Watching her struggle with her negative thoughts and knowing that she's doing shitty things and feeling bad about it, but almost being unable to stop herself. And the way that she internalizes a lot of the things that people have said, or the way that she misconstrues others' actions (e.g. thinking that everyone "chooses" other people), it all made sense to me and made me feel for her. And I felt like we were able to watch her overcome those instincts.

It's just the other stuff, like the powers? And the drinking? I think we are supposed to accept the loss of her powers as being because of one thing you mentioned, that she didn't want them in the first place, but I also think that Nesta didn't trust herself with her powers. Everyone gets mad that the IC didn't want to tell her about making the sword and stuff, but Nesta was also very wary of herself? She's very "act now think later" and especially in the beginning of acosf, her actions were pretty destructive. I don't think that Nesta trusted herself, and that's why she and Amren fought in the first place - Feyre wanted Amren to convince her to train her powers, and Nesta shut down and lashed out.

Nesta does still have some powers. She's still High Fae and Made, so... I suppose we will find out in the future what she is still capable of!

I do get what you mean about her essentially having to take on Cassian's expertise. Nesta was a fighter before, it's just that she did so with words. I guess I am still mixed on whether it made sense for her to lose her powers because to me, it's about whether it makes sense for Nesta, not if it puts her on par with someone else.

after their respective books, they’re gonna sit in a corner until they have babies

tbf Feyre is part of ruling the court, it's just that she and Nesta were not in a good place in acosf and since we were following Nesta, we didn't see much of Feyre unless it was a scene fraught with some sort of plot tension. We don't really get to see Feyre's day-to-day. Plus, the stupid death pact thing. I hope that sjm shows Feyre being a bit more active coming up (in CC3, apparently), and that IF anyone else ends up pregnant, they still continue being a part of the story. She's got an opportunity here to not sideline mothers.

[faejilly]

1/2) I was wondering what you thought of the Malec sparring scene in 3b. I wanted to like it, thought I would cause I'm really kinda into that sort of thing, but instead it just, I don't know, upset me. I couldn't help but see it as just another instance of the show undermining Alec to makes another character look good and I hate when they do that. Not just because Alec's character is basically tailor made for me to take one look at and go "MINE" at (which it absolutely, 100% is) but also

2/2) it’s just really shitty writing to constantly diminish one character to prop up another. But I see so many people seemed to love it and am I being oversensitive?  

Hey, if you don’t like it, you don’t like it, there’s no oversensitive. AND I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH YOU, so. There is that. 😅

I dislike the Magnus training scene on about three (four?) different levels, tbqh, and I can headcanon all of them away, but it’s not… it does not, imo, work as is, and if you can enjoy the pretty regardless, that’s fine, but if you can’t… that’s fine too.

First: the scene at the end of the previous episode, where Magnus asks for help, is one of the most beautifully done Malec scenes in the show, imo, because Magnus is bad at asking for help, and here he does, and Alec is so gentle with him, and has one hell of a clunker of a terribly written line but he makes it work anyways because that’s what Alec does and the way Magnus pulls him in by the waist when they’re kissing there in the apothecary (in what is arguably the one place in the world that is most Magnus’, but he wants Alec there too) is just. Sublime.

But the training scene doesn’t follow on that note at all, so even if it was flawless I wouldn’t like it just because it’s ignoring how we got there. Especially since I liked how we got there. It was so lovely! And then. Completely different tone.

SECOND: The stated point of Alec training Magnus was, based on what we saw previously, to help him retrain his instincts. That is, if he’s in trouble, that he would react physically, so there’s not a stutter as he reaches for magic that’s not there, because that delay in reaction time is dangerous. THIS MEANS… that sparring isn’t actually much help for that, not initially. They need to be training the reaction, which is like katas, or a tai chi routine, or the damn heavy bag Alec likes so much. You pick the reaction you need to have and you practice it over and over and over again until your body does it without you having to think about it. (And then you practice fighting to make sure you’ve got it.) That’s what Magnus needs. There’s no argument that he knows how to move, that he probably knows how to fight, how to spar, but he needs to change his instinctive reaction.

Third disconnect! Magnus has spent 400 years learning things, sure, but he doesn’t train and practice and physically fight every single damn day like Alec does, so… there shouldn’t be any question who would win in a purely physical confrontation, even without runes. Sure, when Magnus had his magic it’d be a different story, (but tbqh Shadowhunters are trained how to fight magical creatures so it still shouldn’t be easy) but HE DOESN’T HAVE HIS MAGIC, AND HE SAID HE NEEDED HELP, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. LET HIM NEED HELP. LET ALEC HELP HIM.

aCTUALLy, this is 3rd & 4th, because let Magnus ask for help, that’s a very good character note and a very mature thing that he needs to be able to do, and doesn’t make him weak as a person or a character or something, come on show…

and also FOURTH: let Alec be good at the only things you’ve said he’s good at! LET HIM BE PHYSICALLY COMPETENT at fighting AND ALSO EMOTIONALLY/MENTALLY COMPETENT AT TRAINING. Like. This is a thing it is strongly implied he’d be good at? He’s good with kids, he practically raised his siblings, he’s in charge of an Institute and has been half-running things since he was a freaking teenager LET HIM BE GOOD AT KEEPING HIS PEOPLE UP TO SPEED?!?!!!

Now. ERM. Where was I?

Right. The actually training. Showing a guy stabbing a mannequin fifty times is probably not as entertaining as some sparring, I guess, but that’s lazy thinking because, honestly, Alec’s hands all over Magnus adjusting his stance and pushing him to do it over and over ‘til they’re both all sweaty is golden, wtf show, the tension build-up would be glorious, because each time they’d get a little closer to breaking form, but they wouldn’t do it.

Gah.

And then! Then you could have a legitimately fun switch to sparring because they already did the work and you wouldn’t have this jarring disconnect between Alec trying to be serious and Magnus (despite being the one who asked for help!) just playing. They could both be playing! It would actually be them obviously pushing each others buttons! Because what we got was more Magnus giving up after one exchange and then dismissing Alec’s help and then Alec eventually going, ah well, wtf, guess I can’t actually train him, let’s kiss. Which, tbf, he clearly always wants to kiss Magnus, but it’s still a really weird dynamic, because that’s not at all where he seemed to be during the sparring, he really wanted to help and Magnus wouldn’t let him and Alec shouldn’t have been okay with that dismissal. 

So, honestly, wow, my italics abuse is off the charts today, sorry. Um. I don’t like the scene because it undermines Magnus, makes him look petty and disrespectful (ymmv! obviously!) in a way that I feel is out of character, and it also undermines one of the few chances the show gave Alec to be good at what he does. Like, it says he’s good at what he does, but then it only ever shows him failing and that’s… depressing and distressing on a couple different levels.

And it’s especially distressing, because a lot (not all, but a fair bit) of the training and fight scenes they’ve done for other characters/plots have been very in character, so the fact that this isn’t is, much like the other stuff I talked about in 3b earlier, even MORE annoying because they almost got there. They set it up so well, they’ve done emotional compelling choreography before, it should have been better.

NOW. If you ignore the context and are just watching them dance around the training room, yes it’s pretty, but it doesn’t (for me) fit the set-up the previous episode gave it, and it doesn’t do justice to either of the characters.

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[onewhoturns]

100 truths?

edit: fuck! forgot to mention I was tagged by @mocarro

1.) Real name: Turner 2.) Nicknames: Turner? 3.) Zodiac Sign: *sigh*  4.) Male or Female: (>.> not gonna include nb/gq/ag stuff? really? let’s fix that) 4.) Gender: female 5.) Nursery: the fuck does this mean, I’m painfully american 6.) Primary School: I did that, part private part public, G&T program (I’d regret it, but most of my teachers were good and I was comfortable being a complete nerd) 7.) Secondary School: not as good as primary, but that was mostly internal stuff, no bullying or anything 8.) Hair Color: dark brown 9.) Long or Short: used to be down to my lower back, now it’s shoulder length 10.) Loud or Quiet: loud. I tend to have difficulty regulating my volume, but have definitely gotten better about it now that I’m an adult and I’m more aware of it (also thanks to helpful feedback from friends, family, housemates etc) 11.) Sweats or Jeans: pj pants. or jeans. 12.) Phone or Camera: phone 13.) Health Freak: nah 14.) Drink or Smoke: occasionally drink (twice a month? ish? not very often at all, and when I do it’s small amounts. don’t think I’ve had any alcohol since... february? not trying to abstain, just not big on it unless it tastes good) 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: nope 16.) Political orientation: uhhhhhh liberal I guess? I’d say it without reservation but I’m sure someone could jump down my throat about “the liberals” and I’m over here just like lgbtq+ rights, affordable college tuition, affordable health care, etc.  17.) Piercings: had my ears pierced for all of 6 months but as soon as I took out the studs they closed up before I could put in another pair. yeah. so... no. 18.) Tattoos: nah. thought about it, but nah. HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: several times 20.) Car *Accident*: i guess? just a fender bender 21.) Fist Fight: nope, i’m weak af and not interested in physical confrontation FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: ears 23.) First Best Friend: a girl named Beth in first grade, probably. but then I left after second, so never saw her again. 24.) First Instrument played: I’m sure I took piano lessons at some point. but did flute 5-6th grade. 25.) First award: I dunno, probably some participation award or something 26.) First Crush: Julio in kindergarten, apparently XD 27.) First Language: english. 28.) First Big Vacation: we went to maine all the time all through my primary school years LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: out loud? grocery store cashier 30.) Last Person You Texted: if we’re counting discord @bloodofthepen, otherwise probably my mom. if we’re not counting discord but are counting messenger then my coworker/manager 31.) Last Person You Watched: watching jacksepticeye play observation atm 32.) Last Food You Ate: pirate’s booty 32.) Last Movie You Watched: uhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno. just marathoned what we do in the shadows, though (tv show, not movie) 34.) Last Song You listened to: On Your Way - the Album Leaf 35.) Last Thing You Bought: groceries 36.) Last Person You Hugged: coworker on his last day saturday FAVES: 37.) Food: chocolate croissant maybe? idk, i like a lot of foods. burrata maybe. 38.) Drinks: water (boring, whatever) 39.) Clothing: pj pants and hoodies 40.) Book: His Dark Materials 41.) Color: no fave, really, though I do tend to ask for green for my discord color 42.) Flower: no fave cause I know nothing about flowers. 43.) Music: the Decemberists are up there, as is Death Cab For Cutie and Darlingside 44.) Movie: too many faves. here’s the top ten in no order. 46.) Subjects: psych

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [ ] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. (tbf it was one of these ask meme things, and it wasn’t questioned as much as asked) 52.) [ ] Used a Weapon 53.) [ ] Breathed fire 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [x] Done something you’ve Regretted   56.) [x] Broke a Promise 57.) [x] Kept a Secret 58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [ ] Ran a Mile 65.) [x] Went To the Beach 66.) [x] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: gonna have some more pirate’s booty when I’m done typing 68.) Drinking: water 69.) Getting Ready To: stay up too late watching or listening to videos or podcasts or maybe playing a game who knows 70.) Listening To: nothing right this second, but I was listening to part four of Film Reroll’s ET game earlier 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: first day off in a week, gonna sleep a lot and maybe wash my hair 72.) Waiting For: sleep YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: nah 74.) Want To Get Married: idk, maybe if i meet someone great 75.) Careers in minds: no clue, I’m somewhat bemused that I’m still alive WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: (again blatant nb/gq/ag exclusion) ON A PERSON/PARTNER: 76.) Lips or Eyes: uhhhh depends. probably lips? 77.) Shorter or Taller: not much of a preference, but probably taller just cause i’m already quite short 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: (I’m really not a person to ask these questions, I have so little opinion on this sort of thing) probably spontaneous? I’m super adhd and also super depressed, and novelty is good for me. 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: (another question I have no strong opinions on-- and am not a huge fan of tbh) lately I’ve been a sucker for ladies with nice arms 80.) Sensitive or Loud: knowing when to be one or the other 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: fwb/casual relationship 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: neither? confident but not a dick for the sake of making trouble. self-aware. HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: don’t wear glasses but i’ve lost sunglasses before 84.) Ran Away From Home: no 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: nope 86.) Killed Somebody: who would admit to this? 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: maybe. i’ve definitely turned people down before, and based on their reactions maybe. 88.) Been Arrested: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: I mean, I exist. I’m relatively confident about some things, and quite pessimistic and self-defeating about others 91.) Miracles: meh. not really. 92.) Love at First Sight: nah. interest for sure, and chemistry, but not full-on love 93.) Heaven: nope 94.) Santa Claus: nah (also: atheist jew, so not really my bag to begin with) 95.) Easter Bunny: nope (see above) 96.) Magic: hm, not per se, but there are so-called witches out there that I think can definitely affect their own lives and therefor the lives of others with the actions they take in the name of magic (so more of a “be the change you wish to see in the world” sort of thing than a love potion or lucky charm sort of thing. i guess i believe in the power of magic to individuals rather that magic on it’s own) ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: ehhhh not really 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: no, but there’s not anywhere else I can see myself either 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: no one? yeah, pretty okay with it. not interested in looking for anything else, anyway. 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: @iron-moon @bloodofthepen @artemis-crimson @hirvitank @artabria (no pressure, and if anyone else wants to do it go for it)

[russell-crowe]

@whitedeadflower challenged me to share my top five crushes. this will be incredibly difficult as i have many and also have different types of crushes. i’ll do my best tho. 1. noel gallagher noel has one of the best facial features i’ve ever seen. his roman nose and general rough face gives him the look of a roman bust carved out of stone. he’s the reason why i’ve seen so many different places of the world during the past years and i owe a lot to the lessons he has thought me (in)directly. the true crush element has faded away as i’m acquainted with his lovely wife and it’d feel weird to be head over heels with him, but i will always have a place in my heart for him.

2. mads mikkelsen i actually wasn’t fussed about him back when hannibal was hugely popular. i still don’t really like that show, tbqf. it’s simply not my cup of tea. seeing him perform alongside thure lindhardt in a danish film has introduced me to his range of acting, and given my interest in danish cinema i decided to later buy ‘jagten’. he’s incredibly charming and handsome and tbf he’s the person that made me break my vow to myself to not be head over heels with a famous person again. i just love how he’s ready to watch football with beer in casual adidas jogging pants but could also be down for a late night philosophical conversation. and i also feel like culturally speaking the danes are not far from the dutch which i like.

3. er*k de j*ng / sp*nv*s i’d say my love for erik is not necessarily a crush, i just am sort of intellectually drawn to him? he’s incredibly inspiring to me and i see him as a sort of mentor figure for the rest of my life. his writing makes me start to understand who i am better, and i feel like that’s desirable when you’re in your early twenties.

4. thure lindhardt thure’s my real danish love, tho he’s not as much of a crush as mads. my love for thure is largely protective, rather than anything else? i think he’s a very intelligent person with a lot of empathic qualities which makes him a phenomenal actor. i like his mischievous look and his sense of humour. imho he’s a credible actor who deserves some good roles that will be able to showcase his roles.

5. volker bruch

if there’s anyone who physically speaking makes me weak in the knees?? legit the most attractive man i’ve ever seen.

sorry for this bad list. i swear to god i only have 2 Proper Crushes and 3 people i constantly talk about so it was hard to even think of 5 (!) people??

[teachlearnrant]

Forgetting why I teach - My story

So I have created this blog as an inspirational and motivational source to carry on teaching. I am in my third year of teaching and last year was rough. 

So lets start at the beginning... NQT year. As a chemistry specialist, I was asked to teach physics, not a problem, should be able to teach any science right?

Felt I had little to no support on teaching physics (apart from one amazing technician) , no resources available etc. I persevered though and taught to the best of my ability with the promise of teaching chemistry next year. The year went by and several observations (at good with outstanding elements) passed. I felt the year was as good as can be. Passed with ‘flying colors’ is what I was told.

Fast forward to the summer, was approached and asked if I could please teach 2 groups biology next year (one being an exam group) due to a member of staff being on maternity leave. I agreed with the condition, when said staff member returned I October they would take over the biology classes so I can be left to teach chemistry. 

Cue the beginning of my second year teaching. 

September/October - Taught as normal, October half term approached and received an email. ‘ (redacted) will be back next week to take over the GCSE biology class, please make sure the class are up to date with rota etc’

Perfect I thought, No more biology! A chance to really develop my teaching now rather than subject knowledge. 

Side note - I taught this GCSE biology class on a Tuesday afternoon.

So on Monday I had a meeting with member of staff on her return from maternity, wiith seating plan, rota etc ready to hand over class.

Jokes. Never Mind.

The day before the lesson, I was told ‘we thought it would be a good idea if we team teach the group as further support in your early teaching career’ I very begrudgingly accepted. I had to teach that first lesson and then we set up a rota for team teaching etc.

The following week I met with the member of staff returning from maternity, (we will call her Bio Teacher). Bio teacher explained to me that the school no longer wanted us to team teach and I was to carry on teaching with bio teacher observing the lesson each week for ‘support’

So it has now gone from ‘ teach biology just until October’ to ‘your lessons are going to be  taken by bio teacher’ to ‘ we’ll team teach’ to ‘ you’ll teach and I will inflict great stress by observing and criticize you teaching a subject you're not specialized in every week’

Now I was not very happy with this situation so had lots of communication with various people about this stopping.

Then one Friday afternoon, I was told ‘ we didn't want to tell you this and cause more stress but the reason this is happening is because of some behavior management issues that got brought up from last year (NQT year). So we would like you to undergo this coaching for 6 weeks and have an official observation at the end.

excuse me what?

Had a breakdown over weekend, thought things through and was ready to go back on Monday to defend myself with:

- Positive behavior management observations from last year

- Emails about high expectations from senior leadership team

- My NQT report that stated behavior as a strong point

School backtracked and said ‘ well, when we said behavior management we might have worded it wrong.’ What we really mean is

- Too many kids going to the toilet in my lesson

- I am sat down too much

- Some kids have jumpers still on

Seriously this is why I am being observed and ripped apart every week?!

Now, I know I still have a lot to learn, and actually that biology group was an absolute nightmare to get them to behave ( more discussion on that later). but if that was truly the reason, I could fix that overnight without any fuss. When mentioning this, I was shut down and told this is happening.

So a few weeks passed, Teaching this nightmare of a group (worst kids I have ever taught for behavior) the. everything finally just gets too much. It started with intense nausea and throwing up on the morning of the lesson. I have been  diagnosed with GAD from about 14 years of age so I instantly recognized the beginning of this spiral.  Extra pressure was mounting up and up from various sources but this was the main source. It soon moved on from being sick over the weekend worrying about it to basically only getting reprieve for maybe the 15 min after the lesson before the feedback. Then one morning I could not myself down, I knew I had to see someone.

Doctor upped my dosage on my anxiety medicine, which had taken me 4 years to get to the dosage I was on, It felt like 4 years of progress completely erased. In fact it felt like 10 years of progress had been erased.

The doctor also signed me off for 6 weeks for stress and anxiety. For the first 3 weeks I still could not settle down, I started looking at other options for jobs, In my mind that was it, I would not be going back to school under any circumstances. I was not cut out for teaching. I was done. I had maybe a week or two of not feeling sick before the anxiety began creeping back in at the idea of going back. After discussing with my wife, the decision was I can't quit teaching right now, We would have no money for rent, bills etc. I would go back and try again, but would quit if it got too much. 

So first week back - I cried my eyes out every single morning. I threw up every single morning. I did find as the day went on It did get better. I decided to just stick it out. Then the whole Tuesday observation started up again. It was a struggle because I was beginning to love teaching my other lessons again. but this one day a week was stopping me from functioning. 

A few weeks later COVID became a thing and shut schools down. I was so happy and relieved, I no longer had observations weekly. I won’t go on about lockdown much other than I was no longer anxious about this group. 6 Months passed. Schools were to reopen once more.

Apart from the anxiety surrounding covid, I found myself actually looking forward to teaching again. I could put last year behind me completely.I was just teaching chemistry. I was hopeful once again.

First week back teaching was amazing. No feeling sick, No crying about going in. It was very positive and I was really excited about my career ahead.

and then the email came form bio teacher...

‘can we meet up next week to discuss coaching and your observation and where we go next’

Here we go again. I felt the dread seeping its way back in. But with a positive outlook I thought just do it. Do the observation that will end this coaching session business. Do it and put the past behind. So an observation was agreed for two weeks time. 

In those two weeks - I was very happy, My lessons had been going well. I was ready for this observation and to put the past behind. (side note- in this two weeks there was also uproar from other teachers who taught the biology group saying they were unteachable etc. This did validate my feelings a little)

So observation, I tried to include a lot of tactics that the observer herself advertises (yes I was sucking up a little but I wanted this to go well) This observation felt like make or break to me. Either it goes well and the past if truly out down and I could try and move on and be happy in teaching, or it would crumble and I  would spiral again. I knew I was not strong enough to spiral again. I could not do that again. I would leave teaching for good without looking back. 

Observation happened. I thought it went pretty good and went about the rest of my day. Relief seeping in that this was well and truly the end. I met with the observer that afternoon and boy was I wrong. 

Or was I?

So it began with some strengths, for maybe 5 mins which are listed below:

- High expectations and behavior management ( yup you heard right)

- Cold calling was excellent, ensuring no student could answer with ‘I don’t know’

-  Tasks were great with good modeling.

Then came the 20 min talk of my faults and weakness’ 

- No learning objective shared

- What was the point of the starter task (bear in mind this was one of her own techniques!!!!!!!! WTF)

- No Deep Questioning ( which tbf I really would like to get better at so I will work my hardest on that)

So you might be thinking ok, no big deal, some positives, some negatives, and maybe I'm just being too sensitive but the whole conversation left me incredibly deflated and ready to give up once more. The concentration on my flaws was how much of that time was spent. So I went home, cried, ate takeaway, and mentally quit teaching again. I have no idea whether this truly is the end of the ‘coaching’ with bio teacher or not.

It is Sunday now, and I am feeling incredibly anxious about going back to work. If this truly is the end of coaching as agreed, then I would really love to work on my deeper questioning.

If coaching and weeks observations begin again.

Then I 100% well and truly will quit teaching forever. There is no way I can put that above my mental health ever again.

[elysiansstars]

I'm bored and doing this to fill the void and be reflective xx

0: Height

5"5 I think

1: Age

16

2: Shoe size

5

3: Do you smoke?

Nah

4: Do you drink?

Sometimes ngl

5: Do you take drugs?

Nah

6: Age you get mistaken for

Probably like 15 or 14 tbf ( @ studio school)

7: Have tattoos?

Nah

8: Want any tattoos?

Yeah, like a basic bitch I wanna bird on my collar

9: Got any piercings?

Nah

10: Want any piercings?

A lip ring maybe if I grow some balls

11: Best friend?

I don't even have friends but we'll say my neighbours cat Purdy

12: Relationship status

Single and emotionally unavailable

13: Biggest turn ons

French/Italian idek, messy ass hair, humour and honesty

14: Biggest turn offs

Lies, lack of empathy, greased hair (like on purpose) like wtf why

15: Favorite movie

A street cat named bob, ways to live forever

16: I’ll love you if...

You ask me if I'm okay like genuinely honestly I'm a slut for healthy relationships

17: Someone you miss

A lot of people. Mainly D and L because they always stuck out to me idk life's life

18: Most traumatic experience

When I was performing on stage and completely blanked on how to play keyboard like it completely went and I was fucked up for a good few performances afterward cos I was so paranoid it would happen again.

19: A fact about your personality

Idk my personality, I would say I am pretty funny though so maybe that

20: What I hate most about myself

My stomach chub is disproportionate to the rest of my body, I have a perpetual double chin and I have a vagina

21: What I love most about myself

My eyes and freckles are pretty cool ngl

22: What I want to be when I get older

A musician or an author

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

I get on well with em for the most part, me and my lil sister have so many inside jokes it's stupid.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Me and my mum are close I love her very much. My dad can shove his dick in a blender, drink it then bleed out

25: My idea of a perfect date

Watching a movie at home, cuddled up cos it's cold, and the rain is pattering on the window

26: My biggest pet peeves

People acting without empathy or even logical thought (like wtf are some of yall doing???), obnoxious loud people (like idk sometimes they funny but mostly it's just like stfu I'm trynna learn)

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

Like I said, emotionally unavailable. I don't think I could take it.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Inconsiderate, self-centred asshole who has admittedly gone through a lot of shit and then puts people through even worse shit. Might've been cringy before but at least he thought of others, now he's a top bellend who I hope learns quickly how to not act like a complete twat.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

I have severe trust issues (Jamie :) )

30: What I hate the most about work/school

How bitchy everyone is like lmao chill no one's perfect let people be flawed in peace.

31: What my last text message says

Ok

32: What words upset me the most

Just any insult will have your boy weak, like I haven't ever had to deal with it really so just about anything will upset me if it's from a person I care about.

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

"Smart" usually or just any comment on progress I've made

34: What I find attractive in women

Super gay but like everything good tbfh platonically (I sound like a mega straight trying to answer the next one without sounding gay fuckin hell)

35: What I find attractive in men

EVERYTHING

Bonus points - long messy hair, humour, smiling, oversized shit, leather fuckin jackets, genuine, doesn't message just for sex ha lmao (never thought that'd be an issue for me but hey fuckin hoe)

36: Where I would like to live

Italy or the English countryside

37: One of my insecurities

Fucking everything but mainly my chest and hips and non physically just how I socialize in general

38: My childhood career choice

Singer or cat sitter

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Cookie dough or mint choc chip

40: Who I wish I could be

Anyone else

41: Where I want to be right now

The sea, just listening to the waves and the gulls and the pubs in the distance

42: The last thing I ate

Chicken mayo burger from Maccies

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

Nick Robinson is one good looking motherfucker

44: A random fact about anything

Coke owns smart water and Nike owns converse, I didn't know n thought it was pretty cool

[tvshowsyespls]

It’s not just their interaction that matters, it’s seeing their actions whilst fully aware of their pasts to identify growth/change and how others can see their love even when they are not physically together: it’s in how Josie says ‘my father is a fool, one look at you and he should’ve known how this would end’, it’s in how Bellamy seems to ‘care about her more’ than everyone else he cares about (according to J, who is apparently great at reading people est. ep7). It’s how Russell says to Josie ‘have you become so callous to the feelings of others that you don’t remember what it’s like to lose someone you love?’ when canonically she has only expressed loss with Gabriel. She talks about how G has been trying to kill her for 70 years and says ‘relationships, yknow?’ As if B was gonna be like ‘lol tru’, then she takes a walk down memory lane, saying ‘besties’ before claiming how BC is ‘weird’. You’re right Josie, louder!

It’s weird because in s1, the script says Bellamy was thrown by the intimacy then said that for a moment Clarke wanted to run away with him as she held his face in her hands? platonically?What even?? I know, so glad we got this 131 year old slow burn instead. It’s weird because they flirted and C invited B to get a drink with her but B turned her down, choosing to be the responsible boy that will have his fun when the grounders come... It’s weird because there was a Lexa-Clarke-Bellamy love triangle according to Alycia (Do I even need to go on?)

It’s weird because Clarke jumped on Niylah after putting her hand on top of hers that were on her shoulders, it’s her mating ritual for when she wants to get laid. Observe: she pulled the same shit on Bellamy in the list scene only for him to tell her ‘get some sleep’ (LOL awks - who told her to platonically smush her face on top of their hands that rested on her shoulder for 10+ seconds - maybe B was thrown by the intimacy again bc he was like ‘gtg’ lol) and she ended up in Niylah’s bed the next morning.

It’s weird because Clarke was willing to sacrifice her mother in s3 (Abby was literally hanging when B came in right on time) but gave into Roan’s blackmail with B and Kane in s4 - WELL of course because Kane is her stepdad!!! but...she was willing to let her mum die and that’s exactly what she reminds Roan and the viewers before it becomes canon that Bellamy is THAT pal ™ that is more important than your mother + 50 skykru lives that were dropped from the list just like that even though the whole season Clarke had been all for her people first. Remember when he was about to open the bunker and Clarke fully thought she was saving the human race by locking skykru in but let B open it anyway, crying as she couldn’t even shoot him in the leg or something? Talk about WEAK! Bellamy somehow convinced her to let everyone in?👀 Clexa coalition parallels anyone? No? Ok.

Remember how she looked as she volunteers to go with B to get Raven even tho 5 secs ago, she was ok leaving her and every other friend and human out to die? (Sidenote: ‘I never meant to hurt you’ like CLARKE PLS, you were about let around 600 people die and ur talking about Bellamy? Check urself, he’s pissed too - until he isn’t because Clarke says ‘nothing is okay, no matter what I choose, somebody always dies’ which makes B make light of it (bc he always understands) with ‘not shooting me was the right choice’ leading to it being canon that BC staring at each other causes them to run over someone and crash their very necessary life-saving vehicle... Who tf wrote this???) Throwback to TondC (‘I did it to save Bellamy’ followed ‘what if I sent him in there to die’ which followed ‘you should go, I was being weak’ - the LENgths she was willing to go to progressed with her worry for him that it was truly tragic for the grounder villagers (but tbf Lexa did convince her so Heda is right, they totally couldn’t have created a fire diversion as Clarke suggested) and that worry turned into literal platonic love as, for a moment, it was tragic for everyone outside the bunker too that second times C had to make a similar choice. The narrative really made Clarke say and do those things in that order huh? Wow) Remember how she was ready to let O die and keep B in the bunker, have him hate her to parallel kabby that season? HOW is B still alive? He was all like ‘I’m not gonna be in the bunker’ and Clarke’s like ‘you WILL’ before he even finishes his sentence lol. He did say ‘people die when you’re in charge’ and yet... it’s almost like idk, Clarke never wants to lose him ever.

Platonically of course because their attraction to each other has disappeared since s1... because you see that person and you’re like ‘lol nvm, ur not as hot as I remember 6 years ago when we were giving each other the looks™’ right? So you just watch them make out with their SO twice in canon to drive that point home. Especially when it’s your bff that you talked to everyday for 2199 days according to Flame!Madi who strutted right up to Bellamy, demanded he forgive C (lexa, is that you fighting in Clarke’s corner? 😭) before telling him something she ‘SHOULDN’t’ tell him?? Sorry Clarke, was this a private thing that Madi was privy to that she felt she shouldn’t expose or did you tell her not to mention it?? Madi said ‘she called YOU’ lol, like when is Madi gonna expose Clarke’s radio calls to Raven pls, I need the platonic princess mechanic relationship instantly restored like that! The radio call elixir: makes you soft for you bff and invite her to decide the fate of the human race as you always do (we genuinely love a platonic team!) despite the fact she left you to die 2 days ago for endangering her kid in the name of stopping the war, which she herself decided to later do after Lexa, her romantic soulmate, tells her not to make the same mistake she did because it would be her biggest regret. Lexa tells C don’t abandon your platonic pal™, love is not weakness and life should be about more than just surviving. Did Lexa say Bellarke rights, Clarke be happy and let yourself love him? No, Lexa wants BC to live like her and Clarke did in her bed? No, no, Lexa said ‘live like Clexa, but don’t have sex’? Yup that’s what happened. And C has the audacity to say ‘save him’ after giving her child permission to walk into a war zone and endanger her life like.. I prayed Lexa protects Madi yes pls.

Either way, let your bff know you love him! Say ‘bro, you kept me sane and I love you for that’- it’s easy gsjsjah why you making it so hard, girl?? Hug and move on, let’s go! There was a perfect opportunity around that fire where you instead wasted time saying ‘all of me for all of us’ to just B? (All of u is for all two of you huh? Jk jk lol this is the most platonic thing in s5, I digress) before giving him ur bread lmao y so dramatic, we love extra af jokester pals (I do really like the platonic bad jokes fr tho 😂👌🏾)

(All is fun and games until the joy of reuniting with Madi is gone the second she sees becho. Like SMILE, Clarke, your soulmate pal ™ found his romantic soulmate like you found yours, remember?)

EVERY DAY for 2199 days huh?: It’s canon that Clarke Griffin after getting radiation roasted, decided to pick up her radio from the floor with her blistered hand that first day to try to call Bellamy, wanting to find out asap if he were alive... He didn’t respond and C had two choices they were alive or they were dead? Either way she said fuck it, Imma hope he’s alive and imma call Bellamy every day like the pal™ that I am, not even thinking like this: ‘imma talk to lexa bc she’s the love of my life and it’s literally just been 2-3 months since she got put in the flame and the flame is on Earth with me so I’m at peace.’ Like why wasn’t that canon instead?? Instead we got ‘I still have hope’ @ B 2199 days later.

The platonicness of Madi looking at Bellamy only and going ‘Clarke knew you would come’ and grabbing him by the hand like she’s his BFF? (that’s Clarke’s BFF Madi, get your own!) sorry but Madi has never met him in her life but she’s like ‘Clarke’s in trouble’ and suddenly B has been kidnapped by a kid. The rest of spacekru left alone in the forest to figure out their own shit bc B said ‘gtg save my bestie brb’ - NOT EVEN, he straight up left them stranded LMAO. (S6 in a nutshell tbh) Then Clarke in s6 has the audacity to look caught ™ when B casually brings radio calls up as friends would, he says it’s a lil pathetic and Clarke becomes the literal sun and B becomes the moon, shining all the laughs right back at her. Meanwhile, Clarke’s large ass pupils are drinking in all this HAPPINESS - not to reach but was that an example of life being more than just surviving? We actually have time for jokes and banter now? Fck Yeah ✨✨

What’s funny is the fact that Jordan knew about the head and the heart convo from s4 because B must’ve told Monty/Harper somewhere between being on the ring and before going into cryo. Since s5 was canon of what happened between returning to earth and going into cryo, logic leads me to believe Bellamy talked to marper about the head and the heart on the ring. It’s funny how Bellamy still got emotional when she’s brought up 6 years after ‘her death’ (Clexa parallels anyone?) and funny how determined he is to honour Clarke’s last words (be the head so their friends survive) only to say ‘I don’t need you anymore’ under psychosis, is that a trauma I see? 👀 soz, did I miss the season Bellamy said he needed Clarke? Only Clarke says the word need (‘I need you’, ‘we need each other, Bellamy’) unless that’s what he meant when he said ‘you got it backwards’ (@ Jaha saying you keep her centered)or when he whispered ‘I’ve got you for that’ or when he shouted ‘I CAN’T lose Clarke... we can’t lose her’. Either way, I love platonic soulmates that need each other.

(Randomly just remembered when B had that nice pal talk with Wells about how Clarke never sees him when Finn’s around, lolll what?? Weirdo. BC parallels with Wells and Clarke? Yes pls)

Tell your bff you love them challenge ft. Clarke who said ‘u look fine today, sad boy so I’mma look you over from the tips of ur toes to the top of ur head platonically then tell you you’re special and that your sis will come around’ and B who canonically says ‘Clarke, if I don’t see you again-‘ only for Clarke to be like ‘you WILL’ before B even finished his sentence - it’s rude to interrupt your friends when they’re talking Clarke! He was only gonna say ‘may we meet again’ anyway bc for some reason y’all bffs don’t canonically say ‘I love you [bro]’ and maybe B knows it’s because you hate I love yous and don’t say it unless you think it’s goodbye forever.

It’s in how Clarke puts Bellamy at the same level as Madi and cannot face Bellamy in her mind space, despite him being alive, because she thinks that he thinks she’s a monster - she cannot see her platonic pal’s love, I love that trope. It’s in how Clarke says ‘I’m not leaving you’ because her biggest regret was leaving B in the pits (but also the time she left him after MW) and it’s in how Bellamy says ‘I won’t let you die’ after letting her die twice now, I call that growth. So J mocks their weird relationship and B is like ‘lols I know’. He has a girlfriend who lied to him about her past during the 6 uninterrupted years they spent on the ring and he starts an argument with her seemingly out of nowhere (after watching Clarke dance with the doctor) and lying that at the last party he was at, he couldn’t protect his sister when we damn well know that the last party he was at was Jasper’s, does echo not know about Jasper? Did no one (Bellamy) tell her? He didn’t have to say ‘the last party I was at’ he could’ve easily said ‘at the party on Ark’. The way he even said this sounded like he was telling Echo for the first time what happened to his sister... they didn’t talk about the reason he ended up on the ground whilst on the ring huh? When Echo says something reasonable, he snaps that this is about feelings and that he never knows how she feels about anything... sounds like he’s projecting but I’m not going to tell you how to interpret it. Then when Echo opens up about her past, B says ‘you told me you didn’t remember your parents’. I love watching becho development because it’s clear how becho are not as compatible as we would’ve thought. (My headcanon up until s6 for them was that they connected over their similar childhoods and responsibility to their people and share the burden of the sins they’ve committed to live and grow together whilst finding peace in each other)

(This is just a snippet of how I see BC and I have no reason to be biased towards it. In fact, during s2-3 I actively made myself ship Clexa more than I shipped BC because I wanted that win for lgbt rep - yes, my mind is that extra that even without social media influence on my binge viewing experience, I felt that Clexa deserved E V E R Y T H I N G so believe me when I say I didn’t want this blarke life 🙃)

Everyone is agreed that they have an awesome non-sexual soulmate love? Yes? I admit, they COULD be platonic, depending on your definition of sexuality. Platonic is defined as ‘love or friendship that is affectionate/intimate but not sexual’.

If Clarke died next ep, bellarke will be remembered as platonic by those that believe sexual acts are what make a relationship romantic and remembered as romantic by those that infer sexual chemistry/feelings/thoughts in certain bellarke scenes.

Imo, it’s not logical to believe sexuality is only physical: it goes against basic common sense in that people would only be considered straight/gay/bi etc. at the point of their first sexual encounter and dating relationships would be platonic until the first sexual act within it.

Personally, I think romantic relationships arise with intention: the shared understanding of what you are offering each other (sexual acts included) and how you prioritise your person over all other humans.

It’s not crude to appreciate the intricacy of physical attraction or understand the implications of it driving the need to be as intimate as possible with someone. And the problem with bellarke is that there IS sexual chemistry and attraction. It’s established in season 1 and it’s made headlines - not that you should care- but both types of people (that would now consider bellarke platonic and those that wouldn’t) probably picked up on it because this aspect of their relationship was planned and written into the story. Longing and pining to just BE with someone is the pinnacle of romance and not only is it canon that bellarke look at each other with humongous pupils, it is also canon (through writing, direction and music) that bellarke prioritise each other, are extremely vulnerable to each other, always want to be ‘together’ do things ‘together’ no matter what. So I’m failing to understand why people don’t want to look at all the evidence and draw the clear conclusion: Bellarke tick every box for a romantic relationship except sexual acts and I think it’s a disservice to not recognise the reality of them as the epic love story that they are. Let’s not even mention the possibility that the reason they haven’t ticked that box is because they have given themselves over to their people in selfless duty or continued trauma from lost lovers.

I’m gonna conclude by saying I ship Clexa and Bellarke but with what’s going on in the story rn, bellarke are it for me. I’d say endgame but it could all change if there’s narrative to suggest otherwise. What I see happening by the end of the series is lexa being back (in what capacity idk) and either Clexa or Bellarke being party to the ‘I will love you forever but I will learn to love someone else so that we can chersish the relationship we have for what it is, not what it has been or what it could be, and be happy together forever’ while the other is canon endgame. Or maybe be by the series finale we’ll get endgame polygamy? - Now that’s edgy af! But those are best case scenarios lol.

Realistically, atleast one of BC are gonna die, Lexa will be brought back as Alycia but not into the real world (unless we get plot that finally exposes the mental space realm??? That sounds fucking dope tbh - they’ve been teasing alternate realities this whole damn show and what is more sci-fi than that? It would also incorporate the flame and Jason loves the flame and Clexa love the flame so??? Anyone wanna hire me as a writer?) and there’s endless possibilities really so I’m conflicted between hoping that Book 2 is less about tragedy/survival and more about happiness/life and knowing that hope for the 100 is offbrand and too much of a reach, with the evidence that we have but the writers could easily get us all there, man. I’m excited!

[heckyeahsurveys]

#265

What was on your mind mostly today? jack, like every day tbh

If someone looked on your bed, what would they find? a duvet n pillows, probs some clothes & a dressing gown

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? going to my grandmas n then mayb kt’s in the evening

Are you nice to everyone? not everyone

Is it possible to be single and happy? well yeh, haven’t experienced it myself but sure 

Is it easy for people to make you cry? idk cos i don’t cry much in front of others (unless we’re close) but a lot of things do make me cry, so fuck knows tbh

Did you sleep alone last night? yes :((

Do you play with dead bugs? no wtf

Honestly, are you dating two people? no

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? yeh i’m gonna leave n go to uni :(

Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone other than family?   yeh many times

Do you want to see somebody right now? jack

What if you had a baby with the person you like? hmm mayb not rn 

Are you happy? sometimes

Have you ever tripped in public? yes lol

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you? probs yeh

Have you ever sat in the back of a police car? nope

Are you stubborn? yep

Do you tend to hold a grudge? sometimes yeh

What’s a fact about the last person that texted you?   he’s the best :)

Has anyone called you perfect before? yes

Where is the biggest scar on your body? idk tbh, probs a nice eczema scar on my leg :))))

Have you ever been told you were amazing? yep

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? idk

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? nope

Do you trust all your friends? probs not all of them. idk tho tbh 

If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? noooo

What pissed you off today? idk nothing i can think os

What was the last thing you cried about? shrek lol

Who was the last girl you talked to? liz

Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? yeh like my entire family

Who sits next to you in English? i’m not in school 

Ever talked to someone who was drunk? yeh many times??

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? yes too many 

How late did you stay up last night and why? like 4am cos we were pissed n it was fun

Do you know how to properly use grammar in a sentence?   sure, not that i always do tho lol

Are your parents very protective of you? not very, idk my dad can be a bit but they’re p reasonable most of the time tbf

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? yes

How many drugs are in your system?   nicotine?? 

The person who hurt you the most calls and needs you, do you go? can’t call myself can i lol xxxx

Is it easy to pretend everything’s okay for you? yeh

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to on the phone? yes 10000% 

Do you think you are a good person? not rly, idk define good d’you know what i mean??

What do you want right this second? to be w/ jack :(

Do you think it makes him weak if a guy cries? definitely not!

Have you ever cried cause you were so mad?   yes definitely

Could you last in a relationship for over a year?   yes

Who were you with on your birthday? family

Have you ever crawled through a window? i don’t think so

First person to talk to you in 2014? fuck knows???

Do you miss your past? sometimes yeh 

It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it? fuck knows

Do you have anything interesting planned for the next week? seeing jack!!! and going camping

Who was the last person to text you? Do you know when that person’s birthday is? jack, 20th march 

What were you doing 4 hours ago? watching shrek i think? or about to at least, idk exactly

Is there a certain song that you can’t stop listening to atm? a few 

Tell me 3 things that your friends don’t know about you. don’t think there’s anything tbh i’m literally an open book hahah

What is something that people often give to you as a gift? idk gift cards

Do you tend to hold on to a lot of stuff you don’t need, just because it has sentimental value? yeh

What is something that reminds you of your ex? nothing rly

Has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms? no

Which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate? probably flowers. i don’t eat much chocolate. flowers are pretty.

When did you last take a shower/bath? Do you wash your hair every time? bath yesterday n nah i was my hair separately

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? i keep saying this but w/ jack lmao

Do any of your followers on Tumblr have your phone number? no

Will you be going out tonight, or staying in? staying in, it’s 1am already anyway lol

How many times have you been in love? one i think

If you were heartbroken, who would help you pick up the pieces? my pals, mum n liz i guess

Apparently, it’s very common to crave chocolate around the ‘time of the month’; do you ever get that craving? yesss so much

What was your last reason for crying? shrek

How would you feel about dating someone who had a reputation for being a player in the past? Do you think that players will ALWAYS be players, or is it possible that they can change? idk

Did you sleep well last night? ish yeh, but got to bed v late n woke up hungover so yknow 

Is your bedroom big enough for you? sure, would be nice to have my own tho 

Are you looking forward to seeing someone soon? jackkkkkk

Ever had a one-night stand? nope

Is anyone flirting with you? no

Have you ever felt pressure to do anything you didn’t want to, like smoking, drinking, or losing your virginity, before you were ready for it? If so, how did you deal with that? nah

Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Why/why not? reasonably yeh, idk i am academically at least

Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with? jack

Is there anyone you’d HATE to be stuck in a lift with? probs, idk who tbf

When did you last talk to the person you love/like? What did you talk about? in person last tuesday :( but texted him like half an hour ago, talking about how his night was going

Have you ever seen your father cry? yes

How would your parents react if you got pregnant? not well probs

Do you/did you keep to your school’s uniform/dress code? mostly, apart from like i wore docs (n lots of eye makeup in year 10) but it wasn’t properly enforced, like foy said he didn’t wanna see me in my docs again several times but i never stopped wearing them cos i wouldn’t get in trouble??

If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them? yes

What was the highlight of your summer? it’s barely started so idk

The last time you threw up, was it because you were hungover? no i was ill

Have you ever seen the film ‘Wake Wood’? What did you think of it? nope, never heard of it

Are you confused about anything atm? Is there anything bothering you? Or, is everything good? nah

If you say ‘I’ve had enough’ or ‘I’m done’, do you always mean it? no lol i’m just a drama queen

Who was the last person that invited you to their house? jenny?

Have your parents ever told you about any alternative names they considered for you, or the name they would have chosen, if you’d turned out to be a boy? yes

Are you friends with any of your exes? yeye

Have you ever had to make an emergency phone call? no??

If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone? it’s going good! but i rly miss him atm

What language do you like the sound of? idk many - korean, russian, french, japanese n probs others tbh

Think about the last guy, outside of family, that you had a conversation with. Do you find him sexy?

in person that would be nathan n not rly no

What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct? idk

What’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like? his eyes n how they crinkle at the edges when he smiles cos it’s the cutest fucking thing in the entire world 

Do you consider yourself to be a strong person? Why/why not? sometimes, idk

Tell me about a special moment you’ve had with the person you love/like. idk just all the time we spend just cuddling in bed cos i feel so so so content and happy w/ him <3

What are you doing tomorrow? going to my grandmas n maybe katie’s