#that is also a very valid and poignant choice!!!!!!!

[poledancingghostson]

...what's the point then? What do you think the point is? The only thing Whizzer needs to be is hot. He's meant to be more effeminate than Marvin. That's part of why Marvin feels like he can push all of his misogyny onto him. That's part of why he puts him into a box of traditional femininity and will not let him out of it the whole first act. Marvin makes MULTIPLE comments about Whizzer not passing as straight ("indescrete"), so i would argue that him being at least a bit effeminate is written into the text. Being effeminate and skinny and short do not make Whizzer less conventionally attractive, less athletic, less strong, less ANYTHING that would take away from his written character. And Marvin can be just as insecure while being the taller one in his relationship.

The point of Falsettos is that gender roles are pointless and cruel to everyone involved. Whizzer being effeminate in no way takes away from that because even the most feminine people aren't going to be happy when forced to perform traditionally feminine roles 24/7.

falsettos productions where whizzer is effeminate/thin/shorter than marvin how does it feel to have missed the point entirely

[queenofmalkier]

Moiraine being 70 vs 40

(Alright this one took me a minute because corralling my thoughts is a challenge in the best of times.)

To begin with I will admit... I am one of the people who was indifferent towards the age change in the beginning. They're Aes Sedai, they live nice, long lives, and I wasn't like, emotionally attached to a younger, canon-aged Moiraine. It does make her early years more poignant, but I'll touch on that later.

Primed for older Moiraine, the show started and after two seasons I can safely say I am so gung-ho for 70 year old Moiraine I might actually be feral.

Here's why I, personally, think it was an excellent choice: Rosamund Pike is 44 as of writing this, so she visibly fits into the book age. As an audience nobody is really questioning her age - a few show-onlys I watched season 1 with actually remarked on how refreshing it was to see an older female character allowed to just exist and be part of the narrative without trying to sex up and/or grandma-ize the role.

Little Did They Know.

So you've got an audience that's mostly accepting of this character being in her 40s, and then you hit them with "Oh she's 70 and lets explore just how horrific that fact actually is together, it'll be fun!"

It was not fun, it was gutting.

One of my main critiques of the book has always been how we have these long-lived women, powerful women... but we never really take much of a look at the reality of that concept. Nor are we given POV characters who are really old enough to remark on it. Pevara at least thinks about her family, but Cadsuane doesn't give two figs about hers.

And here's the thing... they're Aes Sedai, but they're still human. What happens to them as they get older, but the people who fill their life are the ones aging? How does it feel to watch a mother, a sister, a child, friends, acquaintances, EVERYONE succumb to time in a way you won't for a very long time after?

That has to be impactful and I wanted to see those stories - and the show delivered. Seeing Moiraine with Anvaere? Chilling, horrifying, heartbreaking. Liandrin and her boy? A kick in the teeth. Even Alanna with her family, knowing very well she's probably the oldest one sitting at that table.

The point is, being an Aes Sedai means being powerful and respected, but it also means living through a very specific kind of suffering and trauma. They're basically vampires in terms of lifespan and we should see how that shapes them.

In regards to Moiraine being older and therefore not basically a child during the foretelling, it does change that particular hit... but by no means did the show let the viewers not understand how that moment altered Moiraine's life forever.

Instead of her being sort of an unformed girl hardened and honed by a lifetime of searching for Rand, one who never got much chance to be anything else, we get a woman who was already beginning to build her life, who had achieved the shawl, found love, and was exactly where she wanted to be.

And then all of that is taken from her.

It's devastating to watch the double-barreled whammy of Siuan and Moiraine giggling about being fishwives and walking into what was in many ways their deaths. Because the Moiraine and Siuan they were before walking into that room were gone forever. They would never be able to go back to the women they were before. They never even had a chance to mourn that loss. Moiraine went hunting and Siuan set her sights on the Amyrlin Seat.

I do understand for a lot of people her age is a sticking point, and that is completely fair and valid! It's a change that I fully agree did not need to be made... but by making that change we're given such a stark insight into the lives of older Aes Sedai who are just beginning to experience what it means to outlive everyone they know, watching one by one as cherished friends and family members pass on.

Soon all they have left are the children and grandchildren of those people, fractured mirrors that are just enough of a hint at the original that it must be painful to know them - which explains even further why so many Aes Sedai cut off contact entirely with their families. It's too painful to keep them in their lives.

[alipeeps]

A Moment But Forever - Episode 15

He's gone from literally running away from her to seeking her out because she's been gone for a bit and he's worried... 😍

Aaaahhh and he pre-ordered the restaurant to have some roast goose, because he knew she was wanting to eat it?!!

Loving Yuanzhong explaining the concept of a social construct.

Oh man, his explanation that what matters is not the length of life but what you do with it, and being able to do what you want with your life... is especially poignant from a man whose autonomy was basically stripped from him as a teenager. He was made host of a divine weapon (and lbr he was NOT given a choice in that) and then used to fight their war for them... and then immediately after imprisoned. He hasn't been able to "live the life you want" since he was a child.

WTF Xie You?!! (But also, why didn't Yuanzhong do anything to defend himself?)

Damn, payback for something that was an accident? Tanyin herself didn't feel the need to take revenge for what happened at Pinghu, but Xie You feels he needs to do so on her behalf.

Is Xie You dying? Is that what the line means?

Damn. So what you're saying is... you were jealous of your disciple?

Ah she worries if she solves the final question for him, he will have no reason to go on living.

Ah man I kinda love when cdramas do this whole thing where they put such emphasis on what it means for one person to kowtow to another... for the master to kneel for the student, or the parent to kneel to beg the child. It's a uniquely cultural emphasis.

Is that why she's been hesitating and pondering over this final question? Not because she doesn't understand the task... but because she was afraid that she understood the implications of her completing it... and what it would mean to Xie You?

And it's a kowtowing-fest...

Oooh who's singing the song over this scene of her heading back to solve the final problem? It reminds me quite a bit of Farewell Love from Love Between Fairy and Devil... is it Faye singing this?

Oooh what's wrong with Yuanzhong? What was he feeling? Was it something to do with what Xie You hit him with and the fact that Xie You is now gone?

Bro's been sealed for 60 years and his first thought on being awakened is FOOD!! Valid, tbh...

Bit fucking rude to just rock up to somebody's/a stranger's house and just head on inside without being invited, Tanghua. Especially when you know the person you are looking for at that house does not want to see you...

Mmmm Tanghua makes a good point. Apologising in the hopes of forgiveness isn't entirely sincere. Apologising for your past actions without expectation of forgiveness, but because you sincerely regret those actions, despite knowing the past cannot be changed, is more so.

I'm still not sure Yuanzhong particularly cares to hear it though. And tbh chasing after him when he's made it very clear he doesn't want to see you still makes this feel somewhat selfish... like you are apologising not for his benefit but for yours, so that you can feel "better" that you apologised sincerely.

Oh wow, so the two generals who were part of the fake possession plot didn't die after all? Yuanzhong had Zi Fei save them and hide them away! He really is two steps ahead of everybody isn't he?

Oooooooh Yuanzhong is getting closer and closer to finding out the truth about Tanyin...

Would the curse on her only count if she tells that she is a goddess... or would it also kick in if people work it out independently? 😬

Oh wait, as well as the Goddess Wushang, Xie You's other famous student was the Mute Lady of Wu Mountain? Who took a hit for you at the battle of Pinghu? Babygirl, they are one and the same person!!

Could Tanyin be the Mute Lady of Wu Mountain? Hmmm... maybe... 😂

I love the contrast between Tanghua's towering earnestness and Yuanzhong's just... whatever...

DOOOOOOOON'T FUCKING TELL HER YOUR BIRTHDAY TANYIN HOLY SHIT!!!

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease tell me you used your brain and faked her out with a fake birthdate....

Hahahaa him checking under her nose to see if she's breathing, just in case she's dead again! 😂

Ahhhh but why didn't we get to see him carrying her into the carriage? (And why wasn't he a bit freaked out that she wouldn't wake up?)

I'm love him!! 😂😂

"This fellow disciple of mine is quite impressive!" she says with mad poker face skills.

So according to legend it seems there is Goddess Wushang and the Mute Lady of Wu Mountain - both of whom were students of Xie You. And now we see Yunniang worshipping the Mute Goddess of Wu Mountain? Or is this all just a bit of confusion caused by how the subs are being done? What is the actual characters for Wushang? (Had a quick google and can't find out).

Oh shit is that the War Demon dude? (When it first showed his face I thought for a second it was Tanghua?!)

Whoah, who's the freaky dude scaring the beggar children?

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

so, Namib is another interesting one

"another interesting" as in all these many dramas that had potential but there was also something off about them

the main plot has been pretty straightforward so far - it could really be a 90 minute Hollywood movie. a jaded woman meets a lost kid, uses him horribly out of misguided love and guilt, and in the last ten minutes gets a heart/has a change of heart and the found family lives happily ever after. all good here, no notes. the ending variations here would be the woman making the kid a star in the end, or setting him free to leave or stay, and him staying or leaving, leaving to return later or leaving and living a nice quiet life far away from all these horrible people. could still happen and every option is valid.

the topic is relevant, the depiction of show biz is poignant and realistic, the acting is consistently good (i may have some issues with some of Go Hyun Jung's acting choices but they are still consistent with her character, Ryeoun simply keeps breaking my heart). sure the dialogue is less than stellar, but i get every single major character and their motivations, however misguided and awful they may be. like, Lee Seung Joon in his villain era CEO Jang, who could have taken the path of most, i think, of those who lost family members directly or indirectly through violence and abuse and could make a difference, and said, "i'm going to do my best to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else", but said instead, "i'm going to make sure this happens to everyone else now". or Chris, another lost boy, who vacillates between bitterness/resentment, jealousy and love, but ultimately, i believe, lets love win. not to mention, of course, one of the least likeable main characters in recent history.

and the songs are nice. like, really nice. in contrast with Who Is She, another ongoing music-adjacent drama (which, like many before it and many yet to come after it, didn't know what it wanted to be, when it clearly should have been (and was most watchable when it was) a family drama), whose trot was head and shoulders above its very generic kpop/dance/disco whatever.

i can't really put my finger on what exactly is off in this drama. i can smell it, i can taste it, but i can't identify it. it's definitely not that it basically becomes misery porn at some point. maybe it's the technical stuff, something i don't have more intuitive understanding of. i can more or less notice it with editing, especially when it's impossible not to notice. like, when the ending of one episode and the beginning of the next one are different despite it being literally the same scene. it's harder with directing

my overall opinion can be reduced to a vague "it's both too much and not enough", and i'm not in the mood to dig deeper. it's not a bad drama but it's not ... a well done drama either. like most dramas, it just leaves me feeling this was a very half-hearted effort.

anyway, here's to many, many therapy sessions for every survivor of Namib

[glacierclear]

im sorry i need to dump all my thoughts about ada x leon somewhere for personal fulfillment reasons,

big disclaimer: resident evil canon/lore is inconsistent and my feelings/thoughts on all this is NOT me stating it as fact. It's 99% speculation and me interpreting context. I'm just having fun!

it's really wild that i started my resident evil experience hating Ada. I did not understand her character and the way she's portrayed is very inconsistent and confusing (probably on purpose) and, like many others, I assumed the choices she made and the pain she inflicted on others was malicious and intentional.

But something clicked recently,,,I understand now that she didn't choose this life. She doesn't WANT to be a spy. She doesn't WANT to be a mercenary. Everything she was and everything she had was taken and stripped from her. She doesn't even have a real name anymore. I think seeing the small insight of her backstory in the biohazard manga really put all the pieces together and brain blasted me with understanding. Her entire character (to me, at least!) revolves around survival and self-preservation. She is a SELFISH character, not because of ego or power, but because of a LACK of power. She no longer has autonomy over her life in a way that matters and so the only thing left for her is to stay alive.

And I just think that ties so beautifully with Leon's struggles. Both of them being forced into this life where they have to live and die at the hands of the people who control them. And, listen...listen...it's overdramatic as fuck and a VERY idealistic/romanticized interpretation of their relationship, but honestly it makes me hella emotional thinking about Leon potentially being one of the few things in life Ada wants to live for other than herself. Him being the only person in the entire series who has ever shown her genuine, selfless kindness and care,,, and the fact that her circumstance and the trappings of her life forced her to betray him and she has to live with that guilt and has to come to terms with the fact that she will never genuinely connect with people because who even is she anymore? She has no sense of self.

And her entire campaign in RE6 resonates me in such a weirdly poignant and impactful way. RE6 has some WONKED UP writing and it's so silly and stupid; but I think if it was tweaked a little bit it would be a genuinely moving story about a woman losing her agency and bodily autonomy to a violent man who wants to own her and her fighting with his fabricated, demented vision of her. It's a manifestation of his greed and possession...and then she kills her clone and immediately after she sees Leon again and his first immediate instinct is to protect her and sacrifice himself again for her and throw himself into MORE bullets for her even after the betrayal of RE2 ........ and then after that she finally snaps and FINALLY chooses to fight for HER morals and HER justice by killing Simmons' bioweapon.

Like, listen, I hate the trope of "woman traumatized being saved by a man" in most cases, but something about the way I see Leon and Ada just makes SENSE man.

The fact that she specifically goes out of her way COUNTLESS times to protect him and save him and none of it is enough to get him to forgive her. None of it will ever be enough but she keeps trying anyways. Like, damn, his entire mission is Spain is only possible because Ada saved his ass like...four times??? And you can make reasonable arguments that she doesn't care about him he's only important for her mission, and to be honest I think that interpretation is also valid, but for me personally I just think she cares about him so much but it's in his best interest to continue believing she doesn't care.

And I just want them to be happy. But it will probably never work out between them, just due to everything...they can't escape their lives. They're both kept alive by two opposing morality systems. Leon's guilt and unyielding need to fight for truth and innocence and to protect everyone he's lost and everyone who depends on him. And Ada to hold onto herself and what whittling remains of self-identity and independence she still has when it was all taken from her, even to the point of someone making a damn clone out of her.

Man I just love them so much I'M SO EMOTIONAL!!!!!!!

[thoughtfulfangirling]

@katrani replied:

oh gosh, i tend to glaze over looking at big lists so i might throw questions at you over time, but. what's a top 5 for each of nf and fic?

Katrani, that is so valid! But also, thank you for asking!!! :D

In no particular order and without counting any re-reads:

Nonfiction:

Christmas Truce: The Western Front December 1914 by Malcolm Brown & Shirley Seaton

I just finished this days ago, and the amount of warm feelings it gave me was wonderful. Human beings, MOST OF THE TIME, really don't want to hurt each other. It's shit like this that made militaries change how they do things just to get humans to kill each other. I also thought the authors had a really good balance of showing these miraculous moments in 1914 while not pretending like it was all truce and good will. Humans are complex and there are so many factors involved in how things go down, and sometimes that meant people spent that Christmas huddled in the trenches under fire. But it clearly it didn't have to be that way.

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

As a woman super fortunate to have some lovely men in her life, this was such a healing read. Hurt people hurt people. Hurt people who have the power to hurt people hurt even more people. None of that hurt is good, but crazily enough, the healthier we are, the less we might feel driven to hurt others. Wouldn't it be great if we all could feel whole?

This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed: How Guns Made the Civil Rights Movement Possible by Charles E Cobb

TALK ABOUT NUANCE. This author generally prefers pacifism, but he makes such a great distinction of pacifism can be a political choice defined not by inaction, but very clear and concise action. And certainly it does not have to be a lifestyle. So don't be off put by this title nor let it make one believe he's arguing for taking up guns against the state. He talks about very specific kind of violence and gun use here.

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why by Amanda Ripley

I will never stop thinking about one of the main findings of this book: People who believe what they do matters fare better in disaster. Those of us who practice throwing up our arms and saying what we do doesn't change anything are practicing and reinforcing a mindset that will leave us vulnerable and paralyzed to act in a disaster. The disasters were interesting to learn about, much of the advice and findings valuable, but that strain in particular will never fade from my brain.

Fiction:

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

A short little sci fi that I think is really masterfully crafted. The story that's told between the lines is so loud and powerful and yet our POV character is so willfully blind to it. Love it!

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

Poetry. Just pure poetry. A beautiful narrative with such stunning prose. It was also a pretty quick read. Highly recommend.

Network Effect by Martha Wells

I almost didn't include a Murderbot book because I can never remember what happens when, but I distinctly remembered that I was very fond of the first novel-length book. I adored what the extra time allowed in terms of time spent with characters and their interpersonal dramas. And the Muderbot books generally are just so good!

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

I really enjoyed the characters in this book! I also loved that Chuck is not interested in hiding his twists in ways that can only shock the reader. He gives us clues and space that allow us to see the beats before they come, but those beats are no less poignant for being predictable. It's nice when the story actually follows its own logic instead of twisting it just so it can surprise you. It also really appealed to the way I process stories. Very literal and following a series of events that make logical sense. This is not what can make a book good all the time, and I've got better at reading books that are totally not like this and are vague and I have to let lose some of my control on how I understand the work. Sometimes it is nice to not have to stretch those muscles though and still not lose quality in writing and storytelling for the sake of that XD

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson

This may be the only historical fiction I read this year, which is a damn shame because I've really been starting to be very fond of that genre. There's a certain feel to a story where we sit with the day-to-day life of someone else and though we recognize the toil, it is also still so foreign to our own. Also the way the characters made their own life in the tragedies that befall them? Immaculate.

[urmomswifesworld]

Fleabag, a Feminist Icon

I love the show fleabag with all my heart, it is an amazing piece of television which makes me feel so many emotions. I spent a lot of time pondering how this piece of art is involved/impacts/advocates for feminism and want to share my thoughts.

⁍ The use of breaking the fourth wall was a very poignant technique. It served as a commentary on the agency and autonomy of the female voice. Fleabag's direct engagement with the audience, while offering a deeper insight on the characters feelings thought and emotions, challenges the typical passive role female characters are given within story telling as she is an obviously active participant in HER narrative. ⁍ The show tackles often taboo subjects such as sex, a topic women have been shamed for talking about or indulging in for decades. Fleabag's unapologetic approach of her own desires and refusal to succumb to societal norms go against the stereotypical representation of women in television. Her sexual autonomy is a crucial aspect of her character and is never demoralised or shamed for her choices and instead encouraged to navigate her journey through validation and empowerment. ⁍ Fleabag also delves into the intricacies of female relationships. It views them of less of "gossipy" and more of a strong powerful sisterhood which is unlike what is usually presented in television. The shows central focus is on Fleabags relationship with her sister, not a man. It beautifully acknowledges the ups and downs of woman and sisterhood and shows that women are deeper than what is at face value. ⁍ It offers a critical examination of societal expectations placed upon women by showing the brutality of the guilt, grief, and self-worth issues Fleabag has to deal with which many other women can relate to. The show dismantles the typical perfect, put-together woman ,whom we are far to familiar with through all sorts of media, and instead presents a protagonist who is flawed, messy and REAL. It is a refreshing departure of the one dimensional female characters we are typically forced to indulge in. ⁍ The character of Fleabag challenges traditional gender roles and expectations by rejecting the idea that her worth is defined by her relationships with men or how well she adheres to social norms. The show is about HER journey of SELF-discovery and SELF-empowerment. This enforces the fact that a woman's narrative does need to revolve around conforming to societal expectations.

The show is a ground-breaking representation of feminism in contemporary media. Through its innovative narrative, unapologetic exploration of female sexuality, and nuanced portrayal of female relationships, the show defies stereotypes and provides a platform for authentic, multifaceted female characters. I highly recommend anyone to watch the show as it was a breath of fresh air.

[feral-and-chaotic]

Percy Jackson Episode 4 Thoughts!!

Right. Slightly more coherent than before.

Plot:

- Very close to the book, tho I like the lean towards making the Echidna fight more suspenseful than it is in the musical or the book.

(Even if it is a shame to cut the Chimera/Chihuahua joke I think this is a great move away from undermining the tension with comedy in the way that Marvel does.

- Love the stuff with Annabeth and the cops. Her standing up to them is both poignant with current politics and does a great job to show her bravery and how out of touch with the mortal world she is, forgetting she's 12 because she's been in camp for so long.

- I'm really interested in the fact they are taking so long to set up the Grover backstory and Pan stuff. I like how much weight they are giving it.

- also congrats kids. You blew up a bus AND a train AND the gateway arch. I couldn't be prouder.

-also, (I may be wrong and correct me if I am) but I believe they changed Echidna's motivation from trying to push Percy to test his powers, to avenging some super pissed off gods. And I think that it tightens the story by doing so. It makes the gods unlikable and you can really stand and empathize with [Book spoiler] Luke's motivations.

Characterisations:

Grover:

Man are they going off with Grover. Similarly to being, cutting some of his comedy for meaningful moments is fantastic.

You really feel a depth to him which was maybe lacked in the musical and books. I adore how they are weaving in his bravery and levelhead too, it feels a tad more mature than with Percy and Annabeth and that makes absolute sense. He's done this before and boy can you feel how scared of messing up he is.

Also also. I adore how the writers have established a relationship between Grover and Annabeth as well as Grover and Percy. The books could never really elaborate on that because we have Percy's POV and so he'd miss that in places. But the show is doing great with my boi Grover!

Additionally, as an environmentalist myself, I'm happy they are weaving that in a way that feels organic. Great writing and acting choices all around especially with Aryan Simhadri who is killing it.

Annabeth:

Man does this episode sink it's teeth into her characterisation. I love how we are getting a thorough elaboration on her feelings to the Gods and Athena. And Oh boi is she the opposite to Luke. She craves her mother's admiration and... She's not seeing it. It's a great choice because it highlights how hands off the gods are and that the system NEEDS to change.

I also like how they tied that desperation for validation into her hubris. It's still pride her. But it's pride in her mother. And man, the pride with her plan feeding into her being self sacrificial reminds you so hard that they are all just kids.

Also, where would I be if I didn't mention how good the moments with Percy are. Him teasing her and getting a genuine laugh was beautiful. I love the chemistry for all of these actors.

Percy:

I love this idiot. He's so angry and scared and also funny. God, I love the nuance being brought to him. I love the genuine fear that he has facing the Chimera and being arrested by the cops. I also love how Walker Scobell sells the anger at the gods for implicating his friends in his actions to send Medusa's head. Great stuff.

Additionally, I love the moment on the bridge, this idiot (smart but brash) pulling a self sacrifice on the bridge feeds so well into his undying loyalty to a fault. Willing to trick his friends into letting him die, to save them is a very Percy thing. I also enjoy how they haven't made Percy stupid, whilst keeping Annabeth still more strategic than him, by having him basically just steal her plan.

Also the soft stuff in this episode fucking ruled. The train car joking, him cheering Annabeth up with a stupid voice. The little asides.

Overall, god I love these dumb kids. And this show has made me start rereading the books!!!! Am I hyperfixating again??! Never!!!

.

.

. Yes I am.

[booksandabeer]

Okay, so... Maestro

I know it’s the cool thing right now to shit on Bradley Cooper and his increasingly desperate attempts to win that damn Oscar, and at this point it feels a bit like kicking someone when they’re already down, but oh boy, he makes it so easy. Still, let me preface what I’m about to say by assuring everyone who might be inclined to think that this is just me piling on, that I truly, sincerely wanted to like this movie. It’s about Leonard Bernstein!!! Of course I wanted to like it!  

With that out of the way…if you already thought Bradley Cooper was a bit much in A Star Is Born, wait until you’ve seen him act at you for two hours in this never-truer-to-its-name vanity project in which producer Bradley Cooper produces director Bradley Cooper who directs leading man Bradley Cooper as he recites lines written by, you guessed it, screenwriter Bradley Cooper.

First of all, the movie looks gorgeous. It sounds wonderful. Everybody in the so-called “below the line” departments brought their absolute A-game to this. It’s a Vogue coffee table book come to life. And that is precisely where the problem lies: This is supposed to be a movie, but what it actually is is the epitome of style over substance. It is completely devoid of any meaningful insights into the man or the time or the culture it depicts. It’s not a movie about Leonard Bernstein, the artist. Which isn’t a problem per se—different approaches to biopics are perfectly valid. The real problem is that it’s not a movie about Leonard Bernstein, the man, either. It’s Bradley Cooper spending almost 100 million dollars cosplaying as The Great Artist—beloved by intellectuals and the common folk alike—that he so desperately wishes to be himself.

Cooper's performance is A LOT. From the many affectations to the sweaty mania that is constantly turned up to 11 to the extremely nasal intonation (that seems to come and go) to, yes, the stupid and entirely unnecessary prosthetic nose—he does The Most in every single scene. Now, you might say I’m biased by my recent love for Fellow Travelers, but still, what Matt Bomer—in a small part as Bernstein’s lover and collaborator David Oppenheim—does in one scene that shows him smiling through the pain of being casually cast aside by his lover, moved me more than (almost) anything Cooper does in the entire movie. They also share a moment later that is almost unbearable to watch because of the pain seeping out of these two men who are, due to a mix of self-denial and societal oppression, not allowed to (or allowing themselves to) live life as their true selves. Finally! Some real human emotion! That is the movie I want to see. And it is so telling that this moment of actual tangible humanity happens when Cooper finally calms down for five fucking seconds.

All that isn’t to say that there aren’t any scenes here that have true charm and flair; at times the movie even comes close to moments of true beauty and grace that could be poignant, even devastating in the best of ways—were they not ruined by some “eccentric” directorial choice, baffling camera placements, shots that either linger on forever or are abruptly cut short. I was practically waiting for him to turn to the camera and ask “see what I did there?” Yes, we see it. We see it in the fantastical dance sequences, the 40s noir inspired shots, the shift from black and white to color halfway through the movie, the classic 4:3 aspect ratio, and the many many many allusions that do not serve this story and these characters at all but make it very clear to the audience that Cooper has seen a lot of movies. He’s a student of Cinemah, didn't you know? Anyway, all of these things aren’t bad ideas in and of themselves, but he does not know how to edit himself (or his movie) and so it’s just all too much, all the time, and it goes on for way too long.  

Let’s talk briefly about the Felicia of it all. Briefly, because for all the noise that Cooper has made about this being a movie that is just as much about Bernstein’s wife and their love story as it is about the man himself, I could not tell you who this woman was any more than I could before I sat down to watch two hours of Carey Mulligan reacting to Bernstein’s genius. Mulligan tries her best but she’s really only allowed to play two modes: swooning with adoration or vibrating with repressed anger. That’s it. I have no idea who Felicia Montealegre was beyond her husband’s wife. What did she want her life and her career to be? Was she truly passionate about acting or was it just a fun hobby to pass the time? And what did she hope to get out of this marriage, which—the movie makes it very clear—she entered into with the full awareness that there were parts of her husband’s life and heart that would remain forever inaccessible to her? Who knows. I certainly don’t.

Despite all claims to the contrary, this movie, and therefore I must assume the man who made it, is deeply uninterested in actually exploring this woman’s inner life. There’s no small amount of sad irony to be found in the parallel of Felicia serving as a shield of respectability for Bernstein (not only as that, because I do not doubt that they loved each other, but it was certainly one of the reasons for why he married her) and Cooper using his supposed interest in her (and to a lesser extent his lead actress) all these years later as a kind of preemptive measure to ward off criticism that he’s only interested in the Male Genius.  

Finally. What’s actually worse than all of the above is that somehow Bradley Cooper managed to do the impossible: He made a movie about Leonard Bernstein that is both utterly exhausting and—the true cardinal sin—terribly boring.  

[princesssarisa]

Good Morning⚜️

I just found your account and I’m not sure if you’ve gotten this ask before but could you post your top 5 favourite operas?

Thank you♥️

It's not easy to name a top 5. I love so many operas, and which ones I most want to listen to depends on my mood. But I'll narrow it down to these:

Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute)

It was my first opera (as it is for so many of us) and it's still the opera I probably revisit the most often. I've written a novel based on it. Yes, the sexism and racism in the libretto are problems; I always hope the productions I see will deal with those issues instead of just playing them straight. But the fairy tale is engaging, with its struggle between darkness and light, and with its portrait of young people searching for love and for their place in the world. It's open to so many rich philosophical interpretations, yet it's entertaining for kids and casual audiences too. And of course there's Mozart's music.

Don Giovanni

If I had to name my favorite opera that doesn't hold childhood nostalgia for me, it would almost certainly be this one. For starters, you can't go wrong with Mozart's music. But just as importantly, the characters and the various ways they interact with each other are so engaging and full of potential depth and humanity. They can all be interpreted in so many ways, as can the entire opera's tone and meaning – no two productions are alike, which is why I never get tired of seeing them. The balance between comedy and seriousness is incredibly effective too, and makes the opera feel true to life, even when the action is outlandish.

Carmen

This opera's wild popularity is no wonder. It's lively and fun, yet it's also a compelling drama. As with Don Giovanni, this makes it feel true to life, and its gradual transformation from comedy to tragedy is handled in a subtle and sophisticated way. Carmen and Don José are complex, engaging characters, even when they're not likable, and the tragedy deals with relevant themes of gender, class, and race, as well as broader themes of love and freedom. It's a passionate opera, but there's also a certain detachment to it (a very French quality, I think) which is key to its success for me. The two morally gray protagonists are both allowed to be ambiguous, rather than one "good" and the other "bad," because the opera doesn't tell us how to feel.

Il Barbiere di Siviglia (The Barber of Seville)/La Cenerentola (Cinderella)

I couldn't chose between these two Rossini comedies because they're almost interchangeable to me. Zippy, funny, full of sparkling music, and the perfect choice when I want to listen to an opera that's light and happy. If I had to choose, I'd say that Barber of Seville is the stronger of the two – it has a tighter libretto, at any rate – but I love them both equally.

Madama Butterfly

This is so embarrassing to admit. I know it's problematic. As a non-Asian person, I can't begin to scratch the surface of how problematic it is, and I know there are valid reasons to wish it would be banned from the world's stages. But the music is truly luxurious. The tragedy is poignant and arguably has valid things to say about East/West relations and colonialism, even if it's not executed in the best way by modern standards. And I'll die on the hill that Cio-Cio San is a richly drawn, complex, engaging heroine, not just the pathetic little porcelain doll she's stereotyped as being.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Godzilla has appeared on the big screen regularly for nearly 70 years. The character has been around long enough for his fans to have grown up and become filmmakers who can actively contribute to the property they fell in love with as youths. That’s a precarious position for your franchise to be in. It means the creators are excited to preserve and add to the existing legacy. It can also derail it. I could easily see someone receiving the reigns to a Godzilla film and saying “Let's have wall-to-wall Godzilla action! Drop everything else and give me monsters, monsters, monsters!” Godzilla Minus One, the 37th film in the franchise, is not merely good, it’s one of the best films to ever feature the character. This movie knows what the audience wants to see and is legitimately interested in the poignant drama at its core.

In 1945, near the end of World War II, kamikaze pilot Kōichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) flees from duty by feigning engine trouble, then fails to fire when a monster the locals call “Godzilla” emerges from the sea. Nearly everyone on the island is killed during Godzilla's rampage. Returning home, he learns his parents were killed in the bombing of Tokyo. Plagued by this new wave of guilt, he allows Noriko Ōishi (Minami Hamabe), whose parents also died in the bombing, and an orphaned baby, Akiko, into his home. In 1947, a mutated, even more monstrous Godzilla emerges once more from the waters surrounding Japan.

This film will play very differently to Western audiences than it will in Japan. When we meet Kōichi, he’s treated like a coward. In the war, his job was to ensure Japan's victory by fighting to the death. His neighbor blames him for the children she's had to bury - if he had given up his life, Japan might’ve won the war. To us, he seems sensible rather than. That’s even before we see him reading the last letter his parents sent, a letter begging him to stay alive. You think he made the right choice but understand why he has doubts. When he takes Noriko and Akiko into his home, it validates his decision to you, but not to him. It’s heartbreaking seeing him constantly push everyone away and denying himself happiness. He could have a wife, a daughter, a good job in a new world that’s rebuilding but he’s haunted by the trauma of combat. All of this would be more than enough for a whole movie. You want him and Noriko to fall in love, to rebuild Kōichi’s ruined childhood home and raise Akiko together but the weight of what happened during the war means he can’t.

You have all of these emotions to preoccupy you, then Godzilla arrives to raise the stakes to an impossible level. Its presence adds to Kōichi’s guilt because he was there when it first attacked. He “let it get away” and now, Godzilla is back. You worry about his role in the strategy to fight back against the colossal, radioactive dinosaur. The movie introduced him as someone too afraid to give up his life for “the greater good”. Will he heroically sacrifice himself to defeat Godzilla? If he does, it will be a bittersweet victory. It may save millions, but you care so much about him, Noriko and Akiko that it would be the biggest heartbreak of all to see the makeshift family torn apart. His inner turmoil fills you with questions. Is Kōichi choosing to work as a mine sweeper because he’s secretly hoping a workplace accident will kill him? Is it because he sees it as a dangerous job that needs to be done - the least he could do to repay the people he let down? Is he putting himself at risk solely to provide for his family? A combination?

Set in its own continuity, this picture features the most frightening iteration of Godzilla we’ve ever seen. When Kōichi’s boat is in the water and the kaiju’s dorsal fins emerge in the distance, you see the influence Jaws had on writer/director Takashi Yamazaki. When Godzilla sows destruction, it’s awe-inspiring because the special effects are spectacular - supposedly, the film cost less than $15 million, which makes it a stunning technical achievement - and horrifying. Your anxiety grows with each scene because this film is a period piece. Japan is being asked to take down the King of the Monsters when the country was sent back to zero.

Godzilla Minus One contains an engaging human story powerful enough that it could stand on its own. The fact that Godzilla appears as both a metaphor for the protagonist's trauma and as a real, terrifying, physical threat to humanity elevates the picture to be one of the great films of 2023. It looks fantastic, the performances are moving and the writing constantly gives you what we want to see, and what the story needs to succeed. Even for non-Godzilla fans, it’s a great film. (Original Theatrical Japanese version with subtitles, on the big screen, December 6, 2023)

[invidiosa]

The untold story of Last Night, Don McKellar’s Canadian classic, 25 years later

from a Globe & Mail Article for TIFF 2023 first published Sept 3, 2023

If it were your last night on earth, what would you do and who would you do it with?

Twenty-five years ago, Don McKellar’s debut film Last Night screened at the Toronto International Film Festival, where it was awarded Best Canadian First Feature. The poignant, perceptive drama about an unspecified imminent apocalypse, which also won McKellar a prize at Cannes, was acclaimed internationally as inspired counterprogramming to the loud American sci-fi disaster films of the same year, Deep Impact and Armageddon.

At the beginning of Last Night, the character played by Sandra Oh enters a deserted store looking for some wine for her final dinner. Among the looted shelves, two bottles remain. After deliberating between them, she picks one, while politely placing the other vintage back where she found it.

“That’s how you know it’s a Canadian film,” former TIFF executive director Wayne Clarkson said later.

That representation of Canadians – decorum in the face of doom – is key to Last Night’s considerable charm. “I wanted to tease the Canadian perspective but also validate it,” says McKellar, who also wrote and acted in the film. “Instead of Americans writing off Canadian cinema as passive, I wanted to say that there is value in reflection and moderation and community and tolerance.”

The film was recently digitally restored and will soon be released in its new 4K form. To celebrate its 25th anniversary, The Globe and Mail spoke with McKellar and others involved with the production of a Canadian classic which just might be the most civilized movie to watch on the last night of the civilized world.Open this photo in gallery:

The representation of Canadians – decorum in the face of doom – is key to Last Night’s considerable charm.Cylla von Tiedemann/Handout

Last Night was commissioned in 1997 by Paris-based production company Hout et Court for an international anthology series marking the turn of the millennium. Though it was supposed to be a one-hour television show, McKellar and Canadian co-producers Rhombus Media decided to make a feature film instead.

McKellar: I did make an hour version which had to be broadcast first on television in some territories. But, then, when the full feature film went to Cannes, it caused some friction. I thought Hout et Court would be excited, but it was very bureaucratic in France, and the government money was coming from the television side, not the film side. There was a bit of a conflict.

The French anthology project (2000, Seen By...) was intended to spotlight young directors – the new wave for the new millennium. Representing Canada was McKellar, a well-known actor and writer who previously directed the 1992 short Blue.

Canadian co-producer Niv Fichman: I wasn’t fazed by Don’s lack of experience at all. We were all boldly entering a new era. Originally, Don wasn’t sure he would be the lead character, but I really encouraged him to do it.

Although the film’s casting went smoothly, one famous Canadian actor was briefly in the running for the role of Craig Zwiller, who spends his final hours fulfilling a sexual bucket list.Open this photo in gallery:

The film is about an unspecified imminent apocalypse.Handout

McKellar: Everyone in the film was my first choice. But I had a bit of pressure on me to consider Keanu Reeves for the role I wanted for Callum Keith Rennie. I knew Callum – he was exciting. But out of obligation I approached Keanu. He said no, but that maybe he’d be interested in my part.

Rennie was well known for his punk-rocker role in Bruce McDonald’s Hard Core Logo and as a cast member on the CTV series Due South. He had not been in many sex scenes.

Rennie: It’s a bit intimidating. These scenes are delicate and fun and sensitive and weird. My brother told me I should have given him a bare-behind warning before he saw the film. I’ve done a lot more killing than kissing on screen in my career. It’s either the nature of the business or it’s the nature of my face, I can’t tell.

The character played by Sandra Oh is told that she “looks like a movie star.”Open this photo in gallery:

The film was screened at the Toronto International Film Festival 25 years ago, where it was awarded Best Canadian First Feature.Handout

McKellar: I’d met Sandra at a film festival in Taiwan, and I knew I wanted to work with her. She was on the HBO comedy series Arliss, but I thought she had romantic-lead potential.

Cinematographer Douglas Koch: When we were shooting these really emotional scenes between Sandra and Don, we were shooting over Sandra’s shoulder. She was off camera for all intents and purposes. With the camera on Don, tears would be pouring out of her eyes. She was totally giving it to the actor, Don, who was actually on screen. I’d heard of great actors doing that, but to see it was incredible. You realized this was an actor who does not stop.

The great Canadian director (and occasional actor) David Cronenberg was cast in a role that was to die for.

McKellar: I was representing Canada with the film, and it was set in Toronto. I always thought of David as representing this very contained Canadian personality type that had something dark going on behind. And, also, because of his own films, he represented something important to me about Canada.

Koch: We all enjoyed filming the death of Cronenberg’s character. We don’t see his death, but we do see the gory aftermath. I remember the camera above him as he was lying on this weird shag carpet in a huge pool of blood. We were all thinking, ‘We killed David Cronenberg – this is fantastic.’Open this photo in gallery:

Those who made Last Night recall a golden era of Canadian independent film.Handout

McKellar: At one point, I was seriously considering calling the film Whimper. I think I even had it on the script at one point until Cronenberg said to me, ‘You’re not seriously thinking of going with that, are you?’

The film was made for $2.3-million.

Rennie: I was still green. I was blown away working with David Cronenberg, Geneviève Bujold and Sandra Oh. There was the unity on set of doing a good thing on a shoestring budget.

Fichman: Actors always think the budgets are shoestring. Maybe they think there wasn’t enough water in their trailer. The budget wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t shoestring.

During the last hours of mankind, a radio DJ counts down his favourite 500 songs, including the Guess Who’s Glamour Boy, written by Burton Cummings.

McKellar: I love Glamour Boy. I was very pleased that when the Last Night soundtrack album was released, a British magazine trumpeted the song as the discovery of an unheralded glam-rock classic. I met Burton Cummings at a dinner and I told him how much I loved that song, but I felt he doubted my sincerity.

The film attracted a lot of notice at Cannes, where the now disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein was given his own screening.

McKellar: While we were waiting for him to come out of the screening, his second-in-command turned to me and said, ‘If Harvey wants your film, can I tell you something? Don’t give it to him.’ I asked him why. He said, ‘Just trust me, you don’t want to work with this man. He’ll take your film and he may never release it. He just wants to own it.’ I thought it was very strange.

Those who made Last Night recall a golden era of Canadian independent film.

McKellar: At the time, we were still battling for cinemas. We felt an obligation to make films that Canadians would respond to at the box office. Now Canadian cinema has given up on that, and so has Telefilm.

Rennie: It was such a great time to be doing independent Canadian films. It was a graceful set with a lot of ease, and asking questions and getting answers. There were opportunities to experiment. I thought it would be that way forever, but it wasn’t.

[gellavonhamster]

There are different types of tragedies and horrors though. And I think each of them is valid and interesting and they might co-exist without necessarily copying each other to a T. Like there is one brand of tragedy and horror like in Candyman for example as you pointed out. While in 1992 Dracula there’s another brand of tragedy and horror-like being still in love with someone not really living and human even after knowing what it is and what it is capable of and being still ready to join it, because you unfortunately love it is really sad and horrible but love is irrational thing after all. Besides I like to see how different fates befallen on different main heroines in such movies-like in Candyman Helen did everything right, she rejected Candyman’s pull, defeated him, saved Anthony but died herself and became something like Candyman herself. Beautiful and tragic and poignant. But also shows that you technically can be good person and do everything right and still lose in some big way. Mina made some really flawed choices - but ultimately was not really punished for those choices: she didn’t become vampire thus losing her humanity, didn’t die, put vampire to rest while maintaining love and support of her human husband as well as unanimous support of vampire hunting crew. Also beautiful and poignant. Shows that you can be imperfect person sometimes and do something not particularly moral from classical standards, and still carry on and get second chances. Likewise I like that teenage Sarah rejects Jareth’s pull in Labyrinth, completes her quest and it’s a metaphor for her coming into adolescence in essentially coming of age story. I personally like variety and different approaches and like when different movies give that variety and play with themes differently.

Well, like I said, there is no correct option because different people like different things, and my own preferences include several exceptions to the scenario I described. But I was talking less about what is interesting as a tragedy and more about what is compelling as wish fulfillment. As in, which scenario is more appealing to me because it feels more like a victory for the heroine. Obviously, not every narrative ends in that, nor should it, but that would be a subject for another post.

My problem with Mina in the 1992 movie is that she is such an antithesis to Mina in the novel that it feels like a caricature (the same could be said about most of the characters). I would love to like her better, because Winona Ryder really killed it, but she is. Very unlikeable to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And I didn't really feel any particular affection among that version of the Crew of Light either. Quincey and Jack share a couple of sweet scenes, but that's it.

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

Congratulations, when did you know the person was the person you wanted to marry?

Honestly, during like our third or fourth date. We said I love you really early and we moved in together at around 10 months. We talked about marriage in the abstract before we moved in (on children’s swings wearing imaginary rings) and it just didn’t feel super important to either of us to actively pursue (mostly bc we were like “we don’t need to do that to validate our love… moving on!”) and then our third year together started off with covid and I also got a big promotion and it was C H A O S in our lives for a long time. We both had like… very bad mental health crises and we were very much in emergency mode for a couple years. We almost broke up but we worked through it and both made some really poignant changes and we moved in with my parents so they could help support me (I started having seizures and my partner travels for work a lot, so I couldn’t be safely at home alone for weeks at a time womp womp) and then we were adjusting to that for about a year and a half but the last year has felt so good and stable and joyful and we both felt like after 6 years, we were running out of ways to accurately communicate how much we adore each other and are committed to each other. My grandfather passed away last summer and I inherited a few really beautiful men’s rings (his wedding ring, and the rings my grandmother gave him for their 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries- diamonds!) so that was also a catalyst, realizing that I could be the one to propose! A couple years ago, both of us would not have felt good about getting engaged bc it would have felt like we were doing it just because everyone we know was getting married. At this point, though, it feels like a choice that is 100% our own. I’d been seriously considering asking him since September, and I’ve been talking about it with my therapist since then. And apparently he was also starting to scheme in the last couple weeks but I beat him to it! This week worked out for a bunch of reasons, he had some time off, my parents are on a two week vacation so we have the house to ourselves, the flowers are blooming, we’re throwing a square dance with our abolitionist activism group next week, and I had a really well paying gig recently so I had some cash to spare for getting him a ring in a style I know he loves (I gave him 4 options bc I always want him to have choices - he cried!). Time curious time, indeed!

[minetteskvareninova]

Look, man. I know you have made a lot fuss about how much you hate when I get too aggressive while refuting your points, but I am sorry, I just cannot let this shit stand. And I mean, if you want to block me for something - yeah, I am pretty comfortable in saying that Hatice sultan is the hill I'd die on. Because you have said some pretty vile stuff about her in the past and I am just. Done with ignoring it. The slander is spreading to some otherwise very reasonable people. It's time to stop.

For the last time. The narrative is not validating Hatice's obsession with revenge on Hürrem. The overall idea of revenge on Ibrahim and blaming Hürrem for his death I am less sure of, especially considering the obscene amount of Ibrahim shilling after his death. After all, Ibrahim is the literal father of their golden boy Mustafa, and so the narrative does side with him to an extent. At the same time, the situation is not as clear cut as OP clearly thinks it is. The show is well aware (at least before his death) that Ibrahim was a flawed person; I know it doesn't do justice to what an absolute piece of trash he really was, but at the very least, it acknowledges his hubris. It also posits that Süleyman murdering him was bad, which... Well, is not WRONG. As I've written in a previous post, Süleyman executed his best friend based more on a vague idea of a lése-majesté than anything. Ibrahim certainly deserved the rope for other reasons, but not for some dumb shit he said in front of ambassadors. Also Süleyman was his friend and promissed him safety, which adds other layers to this act that the show acknowledges. It's true that the show seems to take the viewpoint that Şah's revenge on Hürrem is justified, even if the means she uses for it are pretty shady - which I fundamentally take issue with. Overall, I agree that the show's framing of Ibrahim's death is "off" and there's plenty to criticize.

What I don't agree with is that the show's viewpoint is ultimately as judgemental as the OP implies. Şah, Hatice and Hürrem are morally grey characters acting within their established character motivations, and I don't think the show is that interested in judging them. Hatice's arch is probably the most blatant in this; even if the show agrees with her goals (hence her more reasonable sister sharing them), it also pulls no punches in portraying her as blinded by grief and revenge. Hell, the fact that she's slowly becoming out of touch with reality is hardly subtle! And if anything her death scene is a heartbreaking (for ME, if you hate her then it's probably just a poignant reminder why) finishing touch of a relatively well-crafted tragedy of her character.

Now, do I like that this is the direction they went with her character? Of course not. I like Hatice. I didn't want her to slowly lose her mind because one of the worst men in the show got what was coming to him. I personally wouldn't take her in that direction. But the writers did, and I have to commend them for mostly walking it pretty smoothly. (Mostly - some moments, like Hatice's relationship with Nigar post-Ibrahim's death were bullshit, because this is Magnificent Century, whose every good aspect has a dozen flaws and every stupid moment has a dozen things that could be praised about it.)

"(...)she could at least leave Hurrem out of it and contemplate on her own choices in her last moments." - OP, she literally only killed herself because her crimes TOWARDS HÜRREM were revealed. What is your problem. The death scene or the arch. Her death scene is the natural conclusion of the arch, and I've just explained what is my stance on the arch. If you're point-of-view on the arch is different, then be my guest, but you literally cannot criticize that scene without criticizing the arch it concludes.

"Why didn't Hatice see reason in her last moments" - Because if she ever saw reason, she wouldn't have kidnapped Hürrem, her crime wouldn't have been discovered and she wouldn't even feel the need to kill herself. Yes, she was clearly depressed and suicidal for years, but the main reason for her killing herself when she did and in the way she did were her crimes.

TL;DR - Hatice didn't see the reason in that scene because she isn't MEANT to be a reasonable person here.

I watched Hatice's suicide scene again and I absolutely cannot feel sympathy for her. It is truly sad because she killed herself and she definitely did not deserve that ending and she wasn't a fundamentally bad person, but. Hatice girl. Even in her dying moments she was blubbering about Hurrem this, Hurrem that. No self awareness, no progression, zero moment of clarity, not even a brief one, nothing at all, purely delulu land. I do believe this is the writers' failing though. It is kind of boring and short-sighted to have Hatice so blinded by irrational hatred that she can't even reflect on her relationships with her own family in a neutral light. It would have been more impactful to have her show an iota of introspection and awareness and then kill herself anyway because what's the point, what's done is done. Like of course she's hurting for Ibrahim's death and I get that, and she is in deep depression and I get that too, but she could at least leave Hurrem out of it and contemplate on her own choices in her last moments. She didn't do that. This one-dimensional victim narrative is preventing me from sympathizing with the character even at such a moment.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Ask, and you shall RECEIVE.

(Even if you didn’t ask, this infodump was bound to happen eventually.)

Under the cut: My Alexis design choices- why she’s Vietnamese, autistic, Southern, and other miscellaneous details that I couldn’t figure out how to work into my fics or will be included in the future.

Alexis's autism:

In making Alexis autistic, I got to explore the really interesting way that vampirism is not only a figurative disability but also affects actual disabilities. I see often, in fantasy, magic curing stuff like that, and though that is a valid perspective to tell, it’s not my favorite. Alexis having been a sonal energetic who struggled to maintain her magic is meant to parallel the autistic difficulty with vocal regulation. Though this is fixed by becoming a vampire, it was really important to me that her autism only changed and not went away completely. 

Other autistic traits I gave her: 

Discomfort with eye contact (though this is also trauma-induced). 

Sensory difficulties, especially after her senses heightened after her turning, that can result in shutdowns. 

A typically blunt, stoic affect stemming from alexithymia.

Alexithymia is the word for difficulty with processing, regulating, and expressing emotion, I shit you not, I did not make that up. 

I will probably explore her alexithymia in the future through the lens of her trying to disentangle her own emotions and Sam’s emotions transferred to her through their maker/progeny bond. 

Her difficulty with vocal modulation is also me taking creative liberties with selective mutism. In a Prissy AU I’m working on, I will be working with this more explicitly. 

Backstory stuff:

Giving Alexis a Southern accent was a really early choice I made when I wanted to do a fan audio of her dialogue in my “Alexis meeting Darlin” fic. I thought it’d be really interesting and poignant for the listener to hear her speak and immediately think “Oh. That’s right. She and Sam weren’t always like this; they used to have something in common.” It’s also one of the only accents I know how to do, and I wanted her and William to have shared history in New Orleans, so it stuck.

Making Alexis Vietnamese was, on the surface, a narcissistic choice, but I still stand by it. I make almost all the Redacted characters Asian to heal the inner child, and the French influences give her another connection to Will. Then, when viewing her through that lens, I saw a lot of ways she could be read as that Asian temptress/femme fatale/vamp/dragon lady/ice queen, and I wanted to explore the depth she has beyond that.

I’ve made Alexis, to my knowledge, the only character that, willingly and under no duress, chose to become a vampire, because I think that’s a very interesting perspective to explore. Yes, there is this loss of magic and mortality that comes along with vampirism. Yes, you lose a life you had before, but my Alexis didn’t like that life. This new life gave her independence and immortality, and I like the idea that someone came into that choice eyes wide open, ya know? Like, it’s not just a thing you learn to live with; for some people, it’s really cool.

I haven’t settled on this, haven’t really decided if I’m sticking with it or not, but if my Alexis is a Vietnamese vampire who was born in 1950’s New Orleans, she’s got some good, old-fashioned Catholic guilt comin out the wazoo. 

Miscellaneous details:

If Will gave Alexis a diadem- and I insist that he did because he loves his children unconditionally- I picture a Laurel-style crown, just like Vincent’s, studded with magnolias with jade leaves and marble petals. Magnolias are the state flower of Louisiana and, I think, are prettiest at night just like vampires. On top of that, both marble and jade are prized Vietnamese exports, and my Chinese/Hmong William would follow the tradition of giving jade to daughters to protect them and to grow more valuable with age with that daughter.

@mr-laveau wanted to know where Alexis has been during canonical events, and I have thought about this some and might explore this in future fics.

During the Inversion, she was with Will, because both of them felt their progenies’ terror, and both were helpless to do anything since it was during the day.

When Sam truly and completely falls for Darlin- I don’t know when this would be; the BA, maybe?- Alexis is alone in her part of the Solaire property, and she feels the exact moment Sam gives his heart away. I am definitely writing this one, and I am not looking forward to it, because it will hurt me /lh