#that’s amazing progress for a TEENAGE KID who is NOT in therapy to be making | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

regretsofalifeandlovelost · 2 years

Text

instant regret

It was now months since I had been with another guy, we had been working hard on our relationship and my partner and I had been making great progress. The sex was much more frequent and we had both been enjoying it more. I had decided that I needed to get a new job, I started working as a surgical nurse with a female urologist. It was better hours and pay which made home life easier. The kids were doing well and everything was on the right track. In therapy we had also made great progress although I felt that I wasn't being truly honest. When I self satisfied myself it was always thinking about my sisters husbands cock. I was also missing the excitement of going to the sex club. I was starting to get a built up anxiety that I needed some excitement, something different. There's something naughty, sexy, alluring about being fucked by a stranger or someone other than your partner. It was a hot summer night, sitting on the balcony with the kids asleep when I slipped inside to remove my panties. Returning to the sit opposite my partner with my legs just spread enough that he should notice I was panty free, my legs spread just enough to show enough of my pussy to give him the idea that he should be down there with his tongue.

It seems that this night plans wouldn't work out, no sooner had I sat down the front door bell rang, It was his sister who had dropped in randomly to drink. I sat there deflated, the drinks flowed and before long we were so drunk. My partner had fallen asleep and his sister wanted to go out dancing. I thought that was an excellent Idea and decided to get dressed up. She wanted to fix up her make up so we go ready together. As I slipped down my dress she noticed that I wasn't wearing any underwear and commented how great I looked, It actually turned me on and made me feel really good about myself. As we waited for the Uber we talked about life changes and stages, it was a really deep and meaningful conversation and totally out of character. I had butterflies with excitement on the way to the club, it was so unreal I felt like a teenager again. At the club I ran into our old friend who was a supplier of party medicinal's. He didn't have any of our usual remaining but said he could give us some candy flipping goodness. He said it was still the usual but had LSD in it. We were all game so we stuck in. Half an hour later I was mentally perfect, visually on a different planet dancing to the most amazing trance music. My partners sister ("J") was on the same plane and we danced together, slowly becoming closer and closer as we found our worlds collide in the music, visuals and intensity. We had other clubbers asking if we were in a relationship, it must have been quiet something to watch. I don't know what we looked like but I do remember feeling her hands caressing my body and thinking that she was handling me like my sisters husband, her hands finding all the spots that made me feel safe, secure and amazing at the same time.

I don't know how late or long it was but I know at some point my sister and her partner arrived, they were already as mashed up as we were and we danced for what must have been hours as the next thing I vividly remember is the lights turning on in the club and being startled by the sudden bright lights. We leave the club and find it's a crisp morning with bright sun, we all decide that we need to head back to somewhere with music and continue. As we are about to look for a cab we see the colleagues who's house we had used walking with a group. They invite us to come back to theirs, we all agree and make our way there. As the door opens and we walk in I feel myself get instantly horny as I get flash backs to the amazing fucking that happened here. I whisper to "J" something to that effect, I remember the look of surprise on her face like it was new to her, I can't remember at that moment if she knew that we had been experimenting and learning about sex with help from others or not, at that moment I didn't care. As we find a place to sit I ask if we can have a blanket or something to wrap around us to keep us warm, despite it being summer the morning was unusually cold or maybe it was the drugs, who knows.. The blanket came and then a tray of more drugs arrived. We all took a cap and chatted like auctioneers as we started coming back up, the visuals still coming and going. I felt "J's" hand on my leg, it was unusually high up my thigh but didn't do anything. I kept finding myself looking across at my sisters husband, occasionally catching him looking back. We got along well with the host and one of his friends, but otherwise the rest of his group were boring as fuck. They reminded me of a group of dumb groupie girls only there because the guy had money. I sent my sister a message on her phone asking if we should make tracks back to their place.. her phone buzzed on the table but she didn't pick it up.

My "J's" hand had moved down towards my inner thigh, I could feel the warmth and it felt nice, It was odd, I had the waves of anxiety and love from the drugs coming across in waves and found it comforting to have it there. She whispered in my ear that she was looping her thoughts and needed to get out of there. I asked her what she was looping about, she said she was looping thinking about me having sex here. I was taken aback, I remember being stunned, and looking at her. She said she was so shocked. I asked if we could borrow a jacket as we needed to head off. I was really peaking at this point, the drugs so strong that standing I had wobbly legs. As I stood I felt sexy, invincible. My sister said that she would go too. We didn't really feel our hosts other guests and figured somewhere else would be better. As we walked down to the road to wait for the uber I heard what I was waiting for, we would head back to my sisters place. No kids, a perfect party house. In the end there were four of us in the uber and we couldn't wait to get home. It was decided that we would crank the music and all get warm in the jacuzzi. We arrived and headed straight out the back. They kept the water at the right temp all year so only had to turn on the bubbles. To my surprise "J's" was the first to slip off her clothes leaving only her Bra and panties on as she slid into up to her neck.. I decided to wing it as I didn't wear a bra or underwear so I slid my clothes off and went in completely naked, the feeling of the bubble against my body instantly turning my sexual frustration from 5 to 25 on the volume dial.

To my surprise she removed her clothing and slid over to be beside me, her arm around my shoulder and put her head on my shoulder, she asked me what the story was with the fucking at the guys place. I gave her the brief story and she said that was so fucking shocking. She couldn't believe that I had fucked my sisters husband. She said that she had thought about it and wondered, had heard that they had an open relationship but had never really connected the dots. I was starting to wonder where my sister was, I don't know how long it was for them to join us but it felt like a long time. It felt like we had been chatting about all the sexual stuff that had been going on in our relationship and the revelations of how we had transformed so much. She knew that we had been working hard on our relationship but she now had the full bigger picture. She said it made her so turned on.

She then started telling me how she had been in an affair with a married guy, but when it started to get serious it was called off. She felt that it was "the one that got away". Just after this my sister arrived, she said they had to have a quicky before the acid wore off "lol". Realising that we were both naked she removed her final pieces of clothing as she slipped into the water. It's funny how when you watch someone get into a jacuzzi you can see their relaxation face as they settle in. Almost everyone is the same. As soon as she was in "J" mentioned how much of a transition I had come through, from not coming near a jacuzzi and if I did I would be fully clothed with a tshirt to now being completely naked. They joked at my expense about so many funny stories and to be honest I was feeling hurt while at the same time seeing how far I had come in only a few short years. As my sisters partner arrived in his tight red swimmers I could see the perfect outline of his circumcised cock and had to hold in any obvious reaction. All my emotions flooded back in, I realised that I had probably been masking much more than I thought. "J" said "rip em off, we are all nudie".. he smiled slid them down and stepped up to get in the pool, his perfect cock there for all to see. "J" was silent, I look at her and see her face almost stock, I whisper "see", she murmurs "mmm". He had brought some cocktails and we sat drinking, "J" was asking questions about how the open relationship stuff works. The conversation flowed and it went off on all sorts of tangents about sex, love, more sex, penis's. I learnt so much about "J's" sexual past, I had thought I knew about it but she had so much more to tell. She was a bit of an animal but had never gone outside of the mainstream ideas. Her hand reappeared right up near the top of my inner thigh, masked by the bubbles.. It felt so good being there but at the same time surprising and confusing. I let it be.

Then "J" asked about circumcision, specifically what our thoughts are. I was first to answer and that surprised me, It was almost as though I couldn't hold it back. I took the hard line that it should be compulsory for men and then laughed. I said that since realising the benefits I had gone from being a strong proponent to being a verbal advocate who would recommend it. I even joked that I went looking for online polls and surveys to fill out on the topic. My sister then talked about it with more details, then she asked me what I saw at work, working for a urologist I would see so much cock. I said that our male clients were most commonly erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, UTI's, vasectomies and then circumcisions. I said there are so many ugly penis's that I see its actually surprising even for my medical background. There are so many fewer ugly vaginas compared to ugly penis's. Everyone agreed and we talked about our dislikes, we all disliked long and ugly foreskins. We then asked my sisters husband about what the difference was from being circumcised and uncircumcised. He said that everything was better for him being circumcised, although he had to learn how to fuck and masturbate again, he said the sensation during sex is so much more elevated. "J" said that we needed to change the topic because it was starting to make her too horny. My sister responded saying we could make our way inside. "J" said she wasn't sure. I said we should stay in the water a little longer, finish our drinks. I felt "J's" hand move right onto my pussy, I moved my legs ever so slightly further apart as to not raise any suspicion, I looked at her and could see that she was anxious about my reaction. Her finger with the water, bubbles on my clit was like opening a flood gate. Her tender touch slowly stroking it was toe curling. I had to close my legs together as to not start having trouble hiding it.. "J" slammed down the rest of her drink and then said it's time to head inside. As she stood up it was the first time I had a really good look at her body, she had a very similar figure to my own however her breasts had much more attractive nipples, I guess that's one of the benefits of not having kids. Her bum also more muscular and pert. I could see the perfect silhouette of her pussy between the legs. I wondered what it would be like. As soon as I had finished that thought I wondered how this was going to work. There's only one guy and three women one of which is my sister. As this thought is going through my head my sister says she's still peaking a little on the acid and wants to stay in the Jacuzzi.. "J" and I leave the water, we seem to both instinctively stop and turn to watch as he gets out of the water, I catch her eyes glued to his cock.

As we walk into the house dripping wet without using the towels she said "I don't usually cock rate but dang that looks like a master piece", she must have said it loudly because he responded saying that he's now feeling shy. I look over my shoulder and catch his cheeky smile. Still damp by the time we get to the bedroom we are nervous, shy not really sure what the next step is, he tells us to hop on the bed, he's going to join us in between us both. I get a sudden wave of guilt and leave.

On the way home I am immediately regretting my decision, I am so horny, high and need to be fucked properly. I arrive home to the kids and have to suppress my desires until they are either asleep or go out. A few hours later I get a message from "J" "omfg that was mind blowing, never been fucking fucked like that. wow just wow". A second wave of regret sweeps across my body.

4 notes · View notes

enthusiasticharry · 4 years

Text

Baby Steps

summary: you’re harry’s sons therapist, and he isn't the only one you end up helping.

word count: hi! it has been a long while since I’ve posted on here so I hope you enjoy this 8.6k piece of pure fluff and smut!

masterlist | asks

As a child, Harry had never been given many opportunities to freely express himself. He grew up in a rural area where the sheep overruled the people and the only extra-circular activity available was playing football at the park with his friends that weren’t truly his friends. He was only a mere teenager when he decided that whenever he had kids, he would give them as many opportunities as possible.

He tried in school, don’t discourage him about that, but it didn’t work out as planned. That’s how he ended up working within the company he did. He started from the bottom, working 9 to 5 within a cubicle everyday until he had worked up to become chief editor. He had his own office, with his name written on a plaque upon the door and his photos sat upon the desk. It made day to day that little bit more enjoyable.

“Finishing early today, Mr. Styles?” Genevieve asked, watching as he closes his door behind him.

“Yes, I am.” He smiles politely, “It’s been in the calendar for weeks.”

“I’ve noticed.” He knew she hadn’t. Genevieve was okay at her job, he supposed. She was an apprentice the company had hired straight out of university and of course he didn’t mind that she was still finding her feet, “Enjoy your evening, Mr. Styles.”

“You too, Genevieve.” He nods his head at the girl and walks towards the exit.

At the ripe age of twenty-eight, Harry knew that he still had his entire life ahead of him but at the same time he was pretty content. He had his job, his small town house and more importantly his son, Theo. He hadn’t expected his girlfriend of a couple of months to get pregnant but in his mind he knew what had happened and that it was something that the two of them had to take responsibility for, but she didn’t think the same thing. Harry had loved her, and he had hoped that she had loved him and their son as much as he did but it just wasn’t meant to be. He had suspected that she was going to leave, he just hadn’t expected it to be in the middle of the night whilst their son was a month old and still nursing.

It was the following morning that Harry knew that he was going try his damned hardest to be the best Father possible for his son, try to give him the world and everything good that came along with it.

“Harry!” Mrs. Walters, the woman who lives next door exclaims as she throws the door open, “Please come in.”

“Hi Mrs. Walters.” He smiles, following the elderly woman into the living room, “Has he been good today?”

“We had a little disagreement at nap time but apart from that he’s been perfect!”

“I’m glad to hear it. He’s never been the biggest fan of naps.”

Just seeing Theo’s little face light up as he walked into the room was enough reason to keep his heart beating for centuries. Theo was the absolute double of Harry, and he could even see it himself. Even at three years old he had his father’s green eyes and curly brown hair and it was another thing that caused his love for his little man to grown everyday.

“Dada!” He toddled over to his father, only just starting to feel confident upon his feet, and wrapped his arms around Harry’s legs, his chunky cheeks pressed against his shin.

“Hi bubba.” He picks his son up and rests him upon his hip, “Did you have a nice day with Mrs. West?”

Theo nods and drops his head down upon Harry’s shoulder with a light sigh of content.

“He’s been amazing, Harry, don’t worry.” The older woman drops her head to Harry’s free shoulder, “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Mrs. West.”

Theo’s little hand rests comfortably within Harry’s as they walk through the door of community centre, his little feet tapping upon the wood in his trainers.

“Harry! Theo!” You exclaim, walking over to the two of them with a large smile across your face, “I’m so glad you could make it this week!”

“Yeah. Sorry about last week, I couldn’t get out of work on time and then once I did he wasn’t in the best of moods.”

“Don’t worry about it! It’s totally fine, we understand that you can’t make every week.”

Harry nods his head.

“Anyway.” You have a nice smile and it was probably the first thing that Harry noticed about you when you met, “We’re just about to get started.”

Harry sits down, crossing his legs as he does so. Theo drops down upon his father’s lap straight afterwards, his face pressed into the material of Harry’s crisp white dress shirt. Harry’s eyes bounce to look over the other children, the ones who acted similarly too Theo when they first joined. They all either sat in their parents laps comfortably or on the floor now, not one with a flicker of anxiousness across their features.

Theo and Harry have attended three of these sessions to help with confidence, and Theo had only just started to leave his shell in the last twenty minutes of the last session they went to and now it felt as though Harry had messed everything up again. He felt as though they were back to square one.

Then he feels a hand upon his shoulder.

“Its okay.” You smile, squeezing gently, “He’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

He will be, Harry knows that.

Another week had passed and Harry was yet again sat in a circle in the children’s room of the community centre with Theo sat upon his lap. Harry felt a little more at ease this week, since his little boy sat forward with a small, very small smile on his lips as he looked at… you? You hadn’t been there to greet them like you were last week, and he certainly hadn’t had the chance to say hello yet. It had been a warm-ish day today and Harry concluded that was probably why you were wearing a cute yellow sundress with small white flowers on it, something he had never seen you in before. You still wore your smile, Harry had noticed.

“Today.” You always overplayed your facial features to interest the children, “We are all going to write a story together.”

Theo’s little eyes widened in excitement.

“You like that idea, bub?” Harry whispered. Theo nodded.

“So I’ll start.” You touch your chest, “Then we’ll pass to Edith’s mummy and then Edith and we’ll continue that way around the circle!”

Harry and Theo would be third, which wasn’t too bad. He just hoped that Theo would get involved, he loved stories enough to have a mind spiralling with ideas.

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a princess…” You start, smiling to the person next within the circle.

“…in a big castle with a swimming pool!”

“She has dog!”

“…called muffin who she loves to play with in the…”

“Park!”

“Then.” Harry started, leaning so that he was speaking to Theo as well as the rest of the group, “One day, something magical appeared in front of her…”

“Dinosaur!”

Harry beams and whispers, “Well done Theo!”

The story finishes with the princess riding the dinosaur along a rainbow, courtesy of the little girl called Tara who finishes the circle. Normally the children disperse the last twenty minutes or so to play amongst themselves whilst the adults talk about what type of week they’ve had. They were doing just that, but today, Harry’s heart stopped at the sight of his little boy sat with little Tara drawing at the tiny desk when usually he just does that on his own.

Harry had honestly never thought that he would be going to group behavioural therapy for his three year old son, but, he promised he would do anything for his little boy.

“Hi everyone.” They were now sat around a table, one fit for adults, whilst a few of your colleagues watched the children, “I’m excited to hear how all your weeks have been!”

Tara’s mum starts, explaining that this week the nursery had phoned up to explain that she hadn’t spoken to anyone at lunchtime but there had been the odd time where she’d had a small conversation with a couple of classmates.

Harry listens to a few others. How Ryan had bit a kid at school the other day, how Delilah refused to say anything for a couple of days that week. Harry had never experienced Theo biting or injuring other kids but he had experienced him shutting down and not speaking to anyone.

“Harry.” You smile, “How has little Theo been this week?”

“He’s, uh, been okay I suppose.” He runs his finger across his bottom lip, “Nothing out of the ordinary. Had an odd hour or so yesterday.”

“Has he made any friends at nursery, yet?”

“No. I don’t think so. I’m trying to get him in everyday but it’s proving to be difficult.”

You smile, “He’ll get there Harry. It might take him a bit longer than normal but he will get there.”

After listening to the other parents, the meeting for that week finishes. Harry waits for Theo to finish his drawing before helping him into his coat. Your words pondered through his mind — he certainly hoped that Theo would get better but it was a walk, not a sprint.

“Hi Theo.” You beam as you walk towards the two, “Can I see your drawing?”

After a few moments of contemplation, he passes the drawing to you.

“Wow! It’s beautiful! Can you draw me one whilst I talk to your Daddy?”

Theo listens to your request and starts on the drawing straight away, picking up colour after colour whilst Harry looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“I just wanted to have a quick word, nothing bad, I promise.”

Harry nods.

“Theo is making excellent progress in the program and I’m sure you’ve seen the results for yourself but as you know he is going a little slower than the rest of the kids.”

“If this is because we missed one then it’s completely my fault—”

“It’s not! Don’t think that, it’s not!” You’re quick to say, “I was thinking the other day of ways to help and I remembered that my friend runs a group at the weekend for children that are struggling to cope with the loss of a parent.”

“But I thought he was too young to be affected by that?”

“I thought so too but I did some more research and even though he was very, very young when his mother left, it could still be affecting him.” You swallow and tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, “He will have noticed that he doesn’t have two parents and that could be the stem of all of the problems.”

Of course this had run through Harry’s mind a few time but he always brushed it off because he was so young when it happened. The fact that woman might be the reason his son was so quiet and not himself all of the time caused his stomach to flip. He hadn’t seen her since that night but she was still affecting him day upon day and he hated it.

“When is this group?”

“Oh!” You exclaim, happy that he hadn’t just shut the idea down, “It’s on Saturday at ten whilst twelve but you can come and go as you please.”

“Will you be there?” Why had he just asked that? He probably sounded like such a weirdo.

“I will.” You smiled, “Just for you.”

Harry certainly hadn’t expected to spend his Saturday morning sat at upon a bench outside the community centre watching Theo play with other kids. He was surprised how easily Theo had left his shell around all of these kids but he supposed they all had something in common, that they were raised by only one parent.

Another thing he hadn’t expected was to be sat sharing the said bench with you, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Black coffee.” You smile, holding out the cup for him to take.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” You take a sip of your own cup of tea, “He seems to be doing well.”

“I’m really surprised. The last time I saw him gel to someone so quickly was when he met our neighbour, Mrs. West.”

You smile, “It’s good. You’ll be able to figure out which group works the best for you both.”

“Will you be here every week?”

Is he flirting? You certainly weren’t complaining, anyone with eyes could see that Harry is a very handsome man but never in a million years did you think that he would be flirting with you. Maybe he wasn’t even flirting and you were just letting your imagination run a little too wild.

“I—”

“I’m sorry.” He’s quick to say, “What I meant is that he’s comfortable around you, and I would hate for him to loose that sort of comfort.”

“I completely understand.” You nod. So he wasn’t flirting with you. There was a part of you that was sort of disappointed and wished that he had been flirting with you, “Well he seems to be enjoying himself here so how about we slowly introduce him to just coming here. I’ll come for the first couple of weeks so that he’s comfortable.”

“Thank you. I haven’t said that enough but I honestly can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing for my son.”

“It’s my job, Harry. I do this for a reason.”

“But you didn’t have to do this. Spend your Saturday morning sat on a bench with me to make sure that Theo is okay. You didn’t have to do this.”

“But I am. I’m doing it because I care about that little boy and I want him to get better. And you’re certainly not bad company.”

Harry smiles and looks away. It probably makes it more obvious that his cheeks are flushing at her words. You have always made Harry nervous, even from the first meeting when he asked whether you could help his son. Was it wrong? Probably. Did he care? No, as far as he knew this crush was harmless and it wasn’t as though it was reciprocated he supposed.

“I know I’m not as exciting at Theo but I do try.”

“I can tell.” You smile, “Was he okay at nursery yesterday?”

“The same I think. Nursery didn’t say anything when I picked him up and they usually do if something happened. Good or bad.”

“That’s good. Some will just ignore the problem. I’ve helped a few parents who have struggled with that.”

“I’m lucky.” He nodded, “We’re lucky.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. Theo’s getting better, that’s the most important thing.”

You sigh, “Not Theo. How are you?”

“I’m getting there. I’m taking each day as it comes, I suppose.”

“Do you have people that you talk to?” You ask before immediately trying to retract your question, “I understand if you don’t want to tell me. I can be nosey sometimes.”

“No. It’s fine.” He coughs to clear his voice, his eyes watching as Theo sits in the sand pit with a bucket and spade, “I talk to my mum and sister if there’s anything really wrong.”

“Nobody else?” You’re daring, and your eyebrow raises in nervousness.

“I’m single if that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

Your eyes bug, “Well I—”

“Its okay, YN.” He laughs now, his dimples deepening, “Are you single?”

“I am.” You smile, “I’m glad you have someone to talk to that isn’t your three year old son. It’s important.”

“I know. I kept a lot of it to myself at the start and just tried to be the best that I could be for Theo but it hit a point where I needed help, and I knew I did.”

“It’s commendable that you did that. Too many single parents try to do it on their own and it just doesn’t work. It not only causes them to fizzle out but it causes strain on the kids.”

“Have you got children?”

“No.” Your lips curl, “I just enjoy working with them — to a degree obviously.”

A chuckle passes. It’s at this point that Harry realises that this is the first conversation you have had with him that passes the point of being somewhat professional. You’re dipping your toes in the idea of the conversation being about getting to know each other rather than being about Theo or any information about the group.

“I can’t imagine.”

“You never know what the days going to hold when you walk through the door. They say to never work with children and animals.” You laugh, “Where you do you work?”

“I work at a publishing company. I’m the chief editor. It’s not the best but it pays the bills.”

“It sounds very interesting.”

“It isn’t. The amount of articles about interior design I read on a weekly basis is sort of absurd.”

“Interior design?”

“I work for an interior design magazine. I probably should’ve explained that first.”

You giggle, “I bet your house is immaculately decorated.”

“To a degree.” He chuckles, “Living with a three year old sort of means you’re house always looks like a bomb has hit it.”

“I can imagine.”

“I wouldn’t change it for anything. Yeah it is a mess but it isn’t too bad and he’s leaning that he won’t get treats if he doesn’t clean up after himself.”

“Nice. I’m sure that works a treat.”

“It does.” He laughs, “Literally.”

“He’s a good kid, Harry. You can tell. He’ll be perfectly fine.”

You keep saying that.

Harry received a message the following Wednesday around lunch time that he hadn’t expected. He was just about to tuck into the salad he had pre-made this morning fort lunch when his phone lit up on the desk. A small message box covers up his wallpaper which was a photo of Theo in the bath, bubbles on his head in a cone shape and upon his chin like a beard.

Hi Harry, Its YN. I promise I’m not weird I just got your number of the system to send this. I’m just letting you know that tonight’s group is cancelled, I’m bunged up with a cold and would hate to pass it onto any of the kiddies :) Hope you are well.

Hi YN. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. See you next week. H.

Harry couldn’t hide that he was a little disappointed. He was starting to enjoy going to the centre every week. He could say that it was because his son was slowly coming out of his shell, and that was part of it, but ever since your conversation he had that one weekend he enjoyed the few words you spoke to each other.

If he was more confident in the way you felt about him, he probably would’ve messaged to ask if you needed anything bringing but he thought that it would’ve been a little bit odd. Hopefully in the future it wouldn’t be as odd.

“You can’t eat your chips yet, buddy, they’re too hot.” Harry explains, picking a couple of the chips from Theo’s plate and blowing on them. The young boy sat and watched his father, waiting for his chips before chewing them happily.

“Oh! Harry!”

You’re stood with a drink in your hand, jeans and a floral blouse hanging loosely upon your figure. You looked cute and cuddly, something that Harry had missed seeing over the past week or so.

“Hi YN.” He smiles, wiping his mouth with his napkin momentarily, “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you very much.” You smile.

“Would you like to sit?” He asks, motioning to the spare seat, “You don’t have to if you’re busy or anything.”

“No. I would love to. Are you okay with that Theo?”

For the first time since you’ve arrived the little boy looks up at his eyes immediately light up at the sight of you stood there.

“Miss YN!”

“I’m guessing he’s okay with it.” Harry smiles, watching as you pull out the seat and seat and sit down. “You weren’t in a rush, were you?”

“No.” You smile, sipping on the hot cocoa you had just bought, “I had just finished for the day actually. Did a bit of shopping and then decided to walk over here.”

“Sounds lovely. Anything exciting?”

“If fruit and veg is exciting, then exciting.”

“Hey, take it from me, trying to make fruit and veg exciting for your kids is the most exciting thing about fruit and veg.”

“Not a fan?” You ask, looking at the young boy who had started to munch on his chicken nuggets.

“Not really. Can you not tell?”

You laugh, looking at Theo’s plate which just had chips and chicken nuggets on with a blob of ketchup on the side.

“He seems to be enjoying those?”

“Oh god yeah.” Harry laughs, “He can eat for England. Takes after me in that sense.”

“That’s good. Some parents sometimes come in saying that their children don’t eat and it’s worrying them.”

“He went through a phase when he turned around two and a half of not eating but he rectified that very quickly himself.”

“That’s good? Have you had work today?”

It was only then that you had noticed his attire. Jean flares and a shirt that said something about eating honey. On anyone else you it would’ve set warning alarms within your head but he made it look suave and quite attractive.

“No. I have weekends off so I can spend them with Theo. I sometimes do a bit of work from home but not a lot, do you?”

“Sometimes. If there’s an emergency I’ll sometimes have to go in.”

“Is it hard? Do you find working with vulnerable children hard?”

“Challenging, I’d say. Maybe not hard. Some of the things that have happened to the children to cause them to behave the way they do are hard to listen to. Trying to get them to talk or just explain how they feel is even harder.”

“You do God’s work, YN.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I hate the though of children suffering, and I’d like to think I do my best to help with that.”

“You do. From experience you do.”

“You’re forever feeding my ego. I kind of like it, keep it coming.”

“Eh.” He curves his lips and moves his head from side to side, “You’re not that bad to look at either.”

“Cheeky! But you’re not too bad yourself, Styles.”

“Daddy!” Theo interrupts, “Toilet, please.”

“Okay bud.” Harry stands up and so do you, “You don’t have to go, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“No it’s okay, I probably should leave.” You smile, “I told Norman that I’d only been ten minutes and that was half an hour ago.”

“Norman?”

“My dog! God, I probably should’ve specified that. Norman’s my dog.”

“Ah.” Harry laughs, “That makes more sense. I’ll see you later YN.”

“Bye Harry.”

When you got home that night, you see the majority of the time sat staring at your phone whilst Norman stares at you as though you’ve gone crazy.

“I should just text him.” You sound crazy talking to your job but it is oddly comforting, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Hi Harry! It was lovely seeing you and Theo today. I hope you had a lovely rest of your day :)

You immediately regretted sending the message. Would he think you were weird? Had you just ruined any chance you had of it going any further? Your stomach twisted and your phone lit up.

We did thank you, YN. I hope Norman wasn’t too mad that we kept you out longer than expected. H.

You giggled. He remembered.

He got over it pretty quickly. Gave him a treat and everything was back to normal.

That’s good. It’s a good thing dogs are forgiving creatures.

Rather I bribed him to forgive me. He can be stubborn when he wants to be.

I think you might be describing my son. He certainly didn’t get his stubborn side from me.

Good. I would hate to have to bribe you to speak to me.

Well that depends what you would have bribed me with. But hopefully you’ll never be in the bad books.

You seem to have very high expectations of me, Styles. I might just surprise you.

I’m going to hold you to that. The next time I see you I expect to be surprised.

Are you free any time soon?

Not until next weekend really. I finish work at five-ish everyday.

Is there any chance that you’d maybe want to do something after work? I can hopefully surprise you?

I’d like that very much. Tuesday okay?

Perfect! See you then, Harry.

Sweet dreams, YN.

Tuesday couldn’t come quick enough in your eyes. You were pleasantly surprised that you’d even managed to bag yourself a date with the man, usually you’d shy away from the male species as much as possible. That didn’t mean that you didn’t spend the entire time messaging Harry the other day with warm cheeks and a fuzzy tummy. The fact that he could’ve thrown everything back into your face being the thing that scared you the most.

You had messaged Harry last night that you were going to a restaurant, not a fancy one but one that required a smart/casual dress code. You spent probably a little too long getting ready, curling your hair and applying the make up you wore too perfection, dressing in some high-waisted trousers with a long-sleeved tucked in to reserve the warmth that the British summertime had selfishly taken away.

You had hundred’s of thoughts bouncing around in your brain. It wasn’t everyday that you bagged a date with the man of your dreams and even if it didn’t work out — at least you could say that it had happened. If it didn’t work out it was probably a good thing that Theo had started to make the move from your group to your friend’s to avoid uncomfortable confrontation.

The reservation at the restaurant was for eight, so you had arranged to meet there for around politely declined. The drive was quick but the wait for Harry seemed to take hours.

When he did arrive, your breath caught within your throat. He was wearing simple dress pants with a silk floral shirt tucked in, the first couple of buttons undone. It revealed tattoos that you were shocked to see that he had upon his chest and stomach. It intrigued you to know whether he had more tattoos. A part of really wanted to see them.

“Hi.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you in a welcoming hug. He smelt really good.

“Hi.”

“You look lovely.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Styles.”

“Shall we go in?” You nodded.

The table reserved for the two of you was small but lovely, located in the corner of the restaurant by the floor to ceiling windows. You had been to this Italian plenty of times in the past and it had become one of your favourites. As you sat down, you had ordered a bottle of wine to share between the two of you.

“Is that your first surprise?” He asked as the two you tapped your glasses together in cheers, “Drinking on a work night?”

“It’s a special occasion.” You shrug, “You’ll have to figure out yourself whether it’s part of the surprise or not.”

He raised his eyebrow at you before he broke into a smile.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

The waiter comes a few ticks after that, asking what we would like. I order a bowl of pasta whilst Harry orders a pizza of some sort.

“How was Theo when you left him today?” You started to tuck into the bread and dips that the waiter had brought as an appetiser.

“Absolutely fine. I’ve never seen someone so exciting to spend time with their grandmother.”

“Weekend’s with my Grandma were the shit!” You exclaim with a smile, “We used to bake and she’d cook me all of my favourite dinners.”

“You were spoilt rotten, to say the least?”

“Of course I was! That’s how little Theo is feeling.”

“Are you close to your family?”

“Yeah I am. More so my Mum and Grandma. I don’t really have the best relationship with my Dad.”

He nods, “My mum and Dad divorced when I was young so I was brought up my Mum. She remarried when I was nineteen.”

You hummed, “Are you close with your stepfather?”

“I was.” Harry coughed to clear his throat, “He died in 2017.”

You immediately felt bad.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

He stops the sip of his drink quick, “You haven’t, I promised. How are we supposed to get to know each other if you don’t ask questions?”

“We sort dived right into the deep shit straight away.” You laughed, “Quick fire questions: favourite band?”

“I honestly couldn’t pick one.”

“Well.” You sighed, “I tried but that answer was boring. Pick one!”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, his smile growing, “I love Fleetwood Mac, The Zombies, The Kinks—”

“Basically anything from the past?”

“Pretty much.” He laughed, “I grew up listening to Shania Twain and Joni Mitchell with my mum.”

“I would’ve loved to have that childhood.” You laughed, “My mum was all for Bon Jovi, Meatloaf and Prince. Always said ‘I could’ve been a rock chick’.”

He laughs and sips his drink.

The conversation for the rest of the evening flowed better than you could have expected. You honestly don’t think you’ve ever been on such a lovely date before in your life, if you could even call it that.

You learnt about his childhood living in Holmes Chapel whilst he learnt about yours. You hadn’t expected to enjoy his company so much and even as the night came to a close you found yourself not wanting to leave.

“I must admit.” He starts as her walks you towards your car, “I was quite disappointed when you said I couldn’t pick you up.”

“Why was that?”

“Because I’m not able to drive you home, walk you to your door and hopefully give you a little something to remember me for the night.”

“Really? Who said that I would have let you?”

“You wouldn’t have?”

“I don’t know.” You tease, “Why don’t you come over and try?”

The smile on his face as he leaned in is something that will haunt your dreams at night for the better. Your eyes flutter closed and sigh in content as his lips touch yours. It was a little embarrassing, but there had been a few moments late at night where you have wondered what this would feel like. Those were enjoyable dreams but the real this was so much better.

No tongue was involved but you already knew that this was something you could become addicted to. The feeling of his large palm against your cheek as his kissed any worry you had away from the night. Your whole body tingled and if you weren’t in a public car park, you wouldn’t know whether you’d be able to contain yourself.

You both pull away breathlessly.

“I think you would’ve let me.”

“I certainly fucking would.”

If Harry had any other option — he would’ve taken it in a heartbeat.

When Harry had woke up this morning, he had expected it to be like his normal Monday morning. Waking up early and making breakfast whilst Theo sleep in. Then he’d wake Theo up to have breakfast and then Harry would dress him for the day.

That hadn’t happened this morning.

When Harry had walked into Theo’s room that morning he found his son, already awake with tears streaming down his face. He tried to comfort his son, and tried to get him to talk but he just didn’t stop crying.

That’s how he ended up stood in the corner of his son’s room with his phone pressed tightly to his ear.

“Harry? Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, well uh, not really.” He scratches the back of his neck, “There’s something wrong with Theo.”

“Is he okay?”

“No. I came into his room this morning and he’s non-stop crying and he won’t talk to me.”

“I’m on my way.”

You drove as fast as you could. The sound of Harry’s voice, mixed with his words and the faint sniffles in the background was enough to send your heart spiralling. You used the message that Harry had sent with address to navigate your way towards his house.

Doors unlocked.

You raced your way up the stairs, taking two at a time and saw Harry waiting at the top of the stairs.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” You squeezed his arm in reassurance, “Is he in there?”

“Yeah.”

Then you saw him. The small boy with the brown curly hair and the green eyes that matched his Father’s peering up at you, small sobs leaving his lips.

“Hi bud.” You smile, “Is it okay if I sit down?”

The small boy nods and you do so, a small sigh escaping your smiling lips.

“Your Daddy phoned and said you were feeling a little upset this morning and asked if I could come and talk to you. Is that okay?”

He nods again, sniffling slightly.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

He shakes his head.

“Can you tell me why you’re crying?”

“Dream.” His chest heaves up and down.

“Did you have a bad dream?” A nod. Okay, you could work with that.

You hadn’t realised that Harry was stood at the door, leant against the frame with his eyebrows furrowed and his thumb running across his lip. He honestly wouldn’t know what he was going to do if you hadn’t been so lovely and come to check on Theo at such short notice.

“Was your dream about Daddy?” Another nod.

It honestly broke Harry’s heart. He had never ever though that something like this was the reason his son had gotten himself into such a state.

“Have you been having a lot of these dreams?” Nodding. So much nodding, “Are they scaring you?”

“Daddy hurt.” His voice was so quiet and unsteady.

“Daddy gets hurt?” Your palms start sweating, “Is that why you’re so upset? And you go quiet sometimes? You think Daddy’s going to get hurt?”

“I’m right here Theo.” Harry walks over and drops down to be face to face with his son, “I’m not hurt, and I’m not going to hurt.”

“You don’t move.” He cries become louder and louder the more they spoke.

Harry leans over and pulls his son off the bed, dropping him onto his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around him. You watch as Harry smooths his hand across his son’s back, hoping that it will calm him down and stop the crying. Harry’s catch yours and your heart physically breaks for him. You’d never seen anything like this in your four year career.

“Listen to this, bud.” Harry wipes his tear stained face briefly, “How about we take today off nursery and work and we’ll spend the day together.”

Theo nods and you smile, gently standing up and removing yourself from the situation. For the first time you can look at Harry’s house. It was exactly how you had pictured it to be — immaculately designed with a splash of Theo in ever corner. You drop down upon the sofa with a sigh and use your hand to try to rub the fatigue away from your face. You hadn’t had a morning like this in a long time.

Twenty minutes or so later, Harry joins you on the sofa with a deep sigh.

“How is he?”

“He’s asleep right now. I laid with him and he drifted off.”

“That’s good.”

He reaches over to grab your hand that was comfortably rested upon your thigh, threading his fingers nicely between your own.

“I’m sorry for calling so early. I know you were probably busy and this didn’t help.”

“It’s okay.” You give his hand another squeeze, “I told you that I’d help in any way that I could.”

“I know.” He nods, his voice starting to break, “It’s just so fucking hard YN.”

“Hey, don’t cry.” You move so that you can wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a comforting hug, “I know it is but we can sort this out, I promise.”

“Just knowing that this was because he has been worried about me. What kind of parent does that?”

“I want you to listen to me now, Harry.” You place your hands upon his cheeks, pulling his head up from your shoulder so that he’s looking directly at you, “You have done nothing wrong. This was completely out of your control.”

He nods and you wipe the tear that had fallen down his cheek away.

“I’m going to help you now and we’re going to get Theo better.”

He leans forward and to your surprise places a deep kiss to your lips.

“Thank you.”

Harry had invited you over as a thank you a couple of days later. You had told him multiple times that he didn’t have to thank you for anything and that you’d do anything for him and Theo but he insisted. Theo was still next door with Mrs. West after being picked up from nursery and she made it complete aware that she didn’t mind watching him for a few extra hours so that he could do this for his friend.

If Harry was honest, he doesn’t have many friends. Mrs. West has spoken to him about it on many occasions and he supposed that the old woman was just excited that he might actually have a friend that wasn’t herself or his son.

You had arrived at Harry’s house to see the dining room set out with plates and cutlery and wine glasses with delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He greeted you with a soft kiss upon the lips and a small hug.

“Has Theo been okay?” You ask, leaning against the counter as you watch Harry fry the vegetables for the stir fry.

“He’s been better. He’s been talking a little more according to to the teachers.” He starts to plate up the noodles, “For the first couple of nights he stayed in bed with me, as you suggested but last night he stayed in his own.”

“Did it go okay?” The two of you walk with full plates to the dining room.

“There were a few tears but he slept through the night.”

You honestly couldn’t have been happier for the two of them. You have worked with the two of them for a couple of months and now finding out that things were actually starting to work left you feeling happier than you had ever expected to be.

“That’s really good. I’m happy for you.”

Before you knew it the time had escaped from the two of you. Somehow, you had made your way to the sofa and now sat with large glasses of red wine in your hands.

“Are you sure you don’t need to get Theo?”

It was nearing seven, and you started to worry.

“If I go now he’ll probably kill me.” He laughs, “Mrs. West brings out the sweet treats around this time.”

You giggle and lean forward to capture your lips upon his. His hand reaches up to cup your cheek, the other resting lightly upon her thigh. In one confident movement, you shift your body so that your knees are either side of his hips. A part of you still couldn’t believe that this was happening, not only with anyone but with Harry.

This had all happened quicker than you had expected but you weren’t complaining.

“YN.” He pulls away breathlessly, “Hey, are you sure?”

“God yes.”

“Okay then.’

He skilfully picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you towards his bedroom. You land upon the bed with a small thud that causes you both to giggle. He presses his lips to yours one last time in a breath-taking, heart-stopping kiss.

“Move up.” You shuffle your bum up the bed so that your head is rested upon the lush pillows. Harry’s fingers toy with the zipper of your jeans, his eyes looking for any sign of uncomforted on your face, “This okay?”

You nod quickly, “It is.”

He sighs shakily, his fingers slipping into the band of your jeans, pulling them down your legs. You lift your hips up to aid him in the movement. At this point you were glad that a day ago you hd decided to have a pamper session and shave your entire body.

His lips place small kisses along the inside of your thighs, your body withering under his touch. It had been a long time since someone had touched you in this way, and your senses felt as though they were on override.

“Harry.” The small moan escapes your lips as he licks a stripe along your clothed centre.

“God.” He hooks his fingers into the material and pulls them down your legs, “You’re so fucking wet.”

You hum as his lips wrap around your clit, your chest heaving up and down as he uses his tongue to flick the sensitive nub over and over again. This had all happened so quickly and you felt so overwhelmed that you had no idea if you were going to last very long at all.

“Fuck.” You moan, “Harry.”

“That’s it.” He murmurs against your centre, giving your clit a few kitten licks afterwards, “Say my name again.”

“Harry.”

He suckles on your clit so quickly that you’re left breathless, your fingers threading through his curly brown hair. You tug on it causing a groan to escape his lips against you, sending your orgasm rushing in.

“M’coming.” Your chest heaves, “Fuck, baby.”

Harry pulls away after coaxing you through your high, his lips and chin glistening with your juices. He licks what he can before lifting up so that you can kiss him. He drops down, his head falling into your neck and for the first time you can feel him against your exposed thigh.

“Do you want me to help?’

“No.” He smiles, pushing your hair away from your face, “Tonight was a thanks to you. Hopefully there will plenty more opportunities for you to repay me in the future.”

“I’m excited for that.”

“Daddy?” The little voice wakes the two of you up from your slumber, “Miss. YN?”

“Hiya buddy.” Harry’s quick to pick the little boy up and drop him in the middle of the two of you, “Did you have a good sleep?”

Theo hums and cuddles into his Dad’s chest, “Morning Miss. YN.”

“Morning Theo.” You smile, “I’ve told you before, you can call me just YN.”

You and Harry had started to see each other frequently since the last date and very recently, in the past few days or so you’ve both made the jump of having sleepovers. With Theo it made it difficult for Harry to stay over at yours so you stayed over at Harry’s — not that you minded one bit.

“Okay, YN.” He smiles, leaning forward to place a kiss to Harry’s dimpled cheek.

“What do you fancy doing today bud? If you ask nicely YN might be able to stay with us today.”

“Really?” His eyes widen in excitement.

“Of course.” You smile and ruffle his hair, “But it’s your day, what do you want to do?”

“Can we go to the cinema?” You both nod, seeing as though that’s a very doable request from the little man.

“What do you want to go see?”

“Frozen 2 please, daddy.”

“Of course.” Harry kisses his cheek and your heart swells at the sight.

Theo sat the entire time in the cinema contently chewing on his popcorn as his eyes never left the screen. Harry’s hand was firmly grasped within yours and you both repeatedly picked it up to kiss the back of each other’s. It was the simple gestures that drew you to Harry in the first place, from that very first day at the centre.

“Did you enjoy it?” You both have one of Theo’s hands in yours, swinging him up as you walk along the pavement.

“Yes Daddy.” He beams.

“What do you fancy doing now? Fancy a McDonalds?”

“Can I have an ice cream, please?”

“Of course, baby.”

It was rare that you and Harry managed to get a night alone with each other, but this specific Saturday night Anne had offered to take Theo and the two of you weren’t complaining. It had been two or so months since your relationship grew from being professional into something more and you were yet to fully consummate your relationship.

You did other things, of course, in the dead of night when Theo was fast asleep. You were both just uncomfortable with the idea of having sex and reaching that last level of intimacy whilst he was in the other room.

The thought physically made you shudder.

“Are you hungry, baby?”

“I could eat.” You respond, sitting across from Harry as he scrolls through his phone whilst leaning upon the kitchen island.

“Pizza?”

You scoff, “Is that even a question?”

Once the delivery of your pizza’s arrive, you don’t think you’ve ever seen someone inhale a pizza as quickly as Harry did. He even ended up eating a slice of your own.

Cleaning up was easy and before you knew anything, you were both changing and getting ready for bed. It was at this point you could go through the plan that you’d created a week or so ago when you learnt that this day would be happening.

You dressed yourself in delicate white lingerie that would have anyone swooning and dropping to their knees. You tousled your hair, applied some lip balm to your lips and walk out to the bedroom.

“Fucking hell.” He drops his phone onto the bed beside him, “Where have you been keeping that?”

“It’s one of the surprises I always ramble on about.”

“Totally worth it.” He throws his hands up and makes grabby movements towards you which you give in to.

His arms wrap around you waist and pull you down so you could press your lips to his. There was something different within the air today and you could both feel it.

“You wanna feel me?”

“Always.”

His fingers reach up to unclasp your bra, dropping the lace material to the floor as you clamber upon his lap. His lips wrap around your pebbled nipples, the feeling of his swirling tongue earning breathy moans to escape your lips.

“Sensitive?”

“Just finished my period.”

“Ah.” You thread your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly.

You drop to your knees, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you use your hand to palm him through his boxers. You place two kisses to each of the ferns, another one at the top of his happy trail before you hook your fingers into the material of his briefs, pulling them down as he lifted his hips to help.

This wasn’t your first rodeo with Harry’s dick, but that didn’t mean that you became any less nervous every time you saw it.

“Are you just going to stare?”

“I’m contemplating?”

“Contemplating what?”

“Whether or not you deserve me to suck your dick. Leave me to it, baby.”

He shuts his mouth the second to place one kitten lip to his base, your eyes watching as his stomach heaves up and down at the feeling. Wrapping your lips around the tip, you start to bob your head up and down, using your spit to ease yourself into it. Harry’s hand reaches out to grip your hair, guiding your head up and down but making sure to not go too far.

“You’re amazing. Fuck, YN baby.”

You use the free hand that wasn’t aiding you by jerking the length that you couldn’t take to squeeze his thigh, right by his tiger once before allowing your finger to rub over your sensitive nub through your panties, allowing any sort of friction to be released.

“Gotta stop baby.” He gently pushes you off of him, your mouth releasing him with a pop, “Need to last for you.”

Once you’re stood up he pulls your panties down your legs, watching as you step out of them. You both switch positions so that you’re laid on top of the plush comforter whilst Harry fumbles through his bedside table, taking a foil packet out.

Your eyes never leave him as he gives himself a few tugs before rolling the condom on, giving you a once over before bending down.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He questions once and you nod, muttering confirmation as he moves to hover above you.

You feel a little discomfort at first, probably due to how long it had been since you last had sex.

“Move, Harry.”

“M’kay.”

His lips are on yours again as he starts to move his hips, finding his rhythm as he thrusts in and out of you. You whine into his mouth whilst he groans into yours, the feeling becoming all too unbearable for the two of you.

“Feel so good, H. So big, so full.”

The chuffed face he pulled as he continued to thrust his hips to yours, his lips wrapping around your nipple briefly was enough for you to fall for him again.

“M’gonna come, baby.”

“I know, H, me too.”

He slipped his hand down between you both to use his fingers to rub your sensitive bundle of nerves, sending you over the edge. A long moan of his name leaves your lips, your back arches and your eyes start to water.

“That’s it. Fuck! Squeezin’ me so tight.”

He moans as he comes, spilling into the condom whilst his movements halt inside of you.

He head drops forward upon your shoulder, the two of you masking in the overwhelming thing your had just experienced.

“There’s no one else I ever want to do that with.”

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, then.”

“YN.” Theo catches your attention as you wash both of your hands after the painting session you had both just had, “Are you my new Mummy?”

Your movements halt as you look down at the little boy, his features becoming more and more like Harry’s everyday.

You look up to Harry who’s stood drying his hand a couple of metres away, a goofy smile present on his lips as he nods at you.

“If you want me to be Theo, but are you sure?”

“I love you, YN.”

“I love you too, now go dry your hands.”

Harry passes him the towel to dry his hands which he does with little no disagreement.

“Are you going to go turn the TV on whilst Daddy talks to Mummy?”

The words felt odd leaving his lips, but a good kind of odd. You watch as he leaves the bathroom and bounds towards the living room.

You wrap your arms around Harry and sigh contently into his chest.

“I can’t believe he just said that.”

“I can. There’s no one else I’d want to be his mother.”

You stand on your tip toes to kiss his lips once.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too.”

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #single dad!harry #therapist!yn #harry styles writing

979 notes · View notes

random-french-girl · 3 years

Text

the wilds, and the troubled teen industry

I’ve had this post in my drafts for a while but chatting on discord motivated me to finally finish it, thanks @storyofaginger and @lightsaroundyourvanity <3

So, I’ve said before that I think the sociological experiment storyline in the wilds is the weaker part of the overall plot - not because I don’t think it’s interesting, just cause as of the end of season 1, it’s pretty under developed still, and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, so I find it hard to be invested in that aspect of the show.

But a super interesting consequence of the experiment angle is how it connects to and parallels the troubled teen industry - you know, those innumerable camps and programs marketed to parents of teenagers deemed “troubled” for a million reasons, ranging from addiction, mental health, bad grades, being gay (yep, conversion camps!), to the ever vague ~attitude problem. I won’t go over the long and horrifying history of these programs and the institutional abuse of teenagers, but if you know a little bit about the subject, it’s hard not to notice the overlap: the emphasis on the wilderness as “therapeutic” to justify sending teens to live isolated in nature, where they supposedly re-learn what’s important and build healthier relationships with their peers ; hiring mental health and/or child experts of... controversial reputation, to say the least (Dr Faber, my detested), who administer harsh punishments for “non-compliance” (forcefully sedating Leah) ; even down to the fact that it’s common practice for these programs to perform “fake kidnappings”, where the teenagers are, without prior knowledge, taken away from their home and then trapped into a completely foreign environment - and all with their parents’ blessings.

Because here’s the thing: it’s exactly how Gretchen must have sold this to the girls’ guardians. Except Dot’s father, maybe. But given the length of the experiment, and her talk with Leah’s parents, we can assume all the parents have been convinced to send their “troubled” kids to a form of “therapy in the wilds”, and they’ve all lied to the girls about it. Sure, Gretchen hid the truth (the experiment part) to all (or at least some) of them, and most definitely manipulated them, preying on the fact that they didn’t know how to handle the girls’ issues. But still, shouldn’t we be talking about what all these parents did to their kids? It’s easy to hate Shelby’s parents, but what of Leah’s parents? They also lied to her. What about our favorite mom, Bernice Blackburn?

It also highlights how completely unreliable Gretchen’s sample is. Because she can only make this experiment happen by covering it, initially, as a program for troubled teen girls, she has no choice but to choose girls with big enough problems that she can convince their parents it’s necessary to send them away. Like??? How do you even rationalize this kind of bias in your study???

But here’s the real horror of it: there’s an inevitable temptation, for us, the audience, to become complicit in justifying the benefits of this kind of programs, because one of the most appealing aspects of the show is that the girls, left alone on the island, actually do learn about themselves, and grow, and become better. Look at Shelby, accepting who she is, or Toni, or Rachel. We are invested in these characters, we’re rooting for them, so of course we want to see them develop, overcome their issues, make strides. And so, insidiously, we get a little too close to Gretchen’s logic: well, yes, this is hard and traumatic for them, but let’s talk about how much good came out of it, and isn’t it amazing, and commendable, how they become stronger and better and more themselves because of the situation they were put in? (Which is why I really like that, in season 1 at least, overall Leah actually gets worse.)

Obviously I also want the characters to thrive and make progress, but we shouldn’t be tricked by the narrative: however well the girls handle themselves, nothing actually good can come out of putting teenagers through this, no amount of personal growth or development can justify it. There are real life implications to that kind of reasoning.

#the wilds #random meta

53 notes · View notes

redinkofshame · 3 years

Text

Some late night ramblings Re: gender and toddlers bc I can't sleep.

I mentioned a while back that my kid's pediatrician asked if he could tell boys from girls and how much it upset me, like, can you?? (<-- I regret not saying it. I should have.) At the time I said no, he thinks everyone is a boy.

I soon realized I was wrong; he doesn't think everyone is a boy, he just only knows/uses he/him pronouns. Boys are he/him, girls are he/him, inanimate objects are he/him. I've been working on it with him every time he gets it wrong (but it's not working at all)

Ignoring for a minute that I don't particularly like that my 3yo can correctly (or as correctly as anyone else) say 'that boy won't play with me' or 'that girl took the ball'... (Like, how can he tell? They’re just kids...) Even though he can't grasp pronouns I'm glad that he's exposed to gender neutral on a regular basis thanks to the librarian that does toddler time at the library, Mx. Jude. I feel like it's scary to tell parents your proper pronouns because so many people are shitty but I'm glad they did. I guess I should write a comment card or something? Or is that patronizing?

I've been working on my own pronoun use, too. I try to remember not to assume and to use neutral terms unless I know otherwise. Kinda hard to unlearn a lifetime of cis stuff but I try. Sometimes I mess up in my head at work -- hard not to make assumptions when speaking with a nurse named Angela -- but I (think) I always remember when leaving a note saying who I spoke to be neuter about it.

It’s already paid off. Kiddo is in swimming lessons and his teachers rotate all the time so I was introducing him to the week’s teacher. I don’t know if I would have caught myself if it wasn’t easy to see that the teacher was wearing clothes that came from a different department than their AGAB but it slowed me down enough that I remembered to use a they/them, despite my brain telling me I could just assume their gender and sexual preferences based on a glance. I’m really glad I did bc when I tell you their eyes just LIT UP and being called they/them by a new parent.

So much so even my mom saw it, I think. Or maybe she picked up on me continuing to use those pronouns when talking about them later? I don’t think I ever mentioned them again though. I do know that I saw mom use the correct pronouns weeks later when we saw them again, in that way where she had to slow down before she said it to remind herself to use they/them. I know it’s a struggle for her. It’s hard to re-learn! She’s very good about Mx. Jude in front of kiddo but sometimes will slip when talking to be about them.

I probably slow down the same way, though I try not to. It doesn’t come naturally yet. But I’m glad that I’m working on it. And I’m glad people from my mom’s generation are too.

I grew up with Fox News playing like 24/7, except when we were in the car: then it was Rush Limbaugh. I believed all the rhetoric. But occasionally something someone said would seem Too Unfair to me, and if was coming from my mom I would say so. One time a butch woman (I think. Who knows.) was spending, like, a long time primping her hair in the Target bathroom. Mom muttered something like ‘she’s spending an awfully long time on how she looks for someone who doesn’t care how they look.’ and I was like ‘who says she doesn’t care?? Just because YOU don’t like women with short hair doesn’t mean SHE doesn’t like it. You don’t know she cut it just to say ‘fuck you’ society.’ (though, now that I’m older and wiser, more power to them if they did. I also like to imagine they were getting ready for a date or talking to a cute cashier.)

She used to say It’s okay to be gay but they shouldn’t be *married* they can just have ‘civil unions’. It took me YEARS to stop believing that, but when I did I found an excuse to bring it up again so I could say something about it.

And folks? It worked?? Like I didn’t notice at the time. I don’t think she really responded either time and the subject moved on. But even she still remembers that time in the Target bathroom because it left such a ‘o shit the kid’s right’ imprint on her, and it’s made her think about some things more critically.

But now we’re at a point that my mom will text me about how my kiddo loved playing with Mx. Jude today, just casually in a text. I didn’t even know where she learned that Mx. was a thing. She didn’t learn it from me. (I’ve since gathered she probably learned it from the teacher.) I’ve never really talked her much about gender outside explaining why some people go with bi and some pan and some other ones out there.

Which! Side note. When her teenaged nephew came out as bi to her sister, and then the sister talked to mom about it, mom was able to explain ‘just because someone’s attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean it’s always all genders equally; sometimes it is, or sometimes people will still have some preference to girls or boys but are still bi’ because apparently of all the things I said to her about it that one was like a lightbulb for her. I have no idea why it mattered in the conversation tbh, only that she later said she was happy that she understood that now, thanks to me.

I hope this isn’t patronizing to mom, and I don’t want anyone to think ill of her bc she’s super amazing and caring and works so stupid hard for this family. But it’s just great to see that other former Fox-News watchers can just learn to teach themselves to be progressive.

(Dad’s changed a lot too but not in an anecdote-able way, not as socially, so idk how to describe it. Definitely thinks more critically though.)

One more before I resort to sleep meds I guess. My cishet BFF just informed me that her spouse is a transwoman. She’s wanted to tell me forever (like 6 month I think) but they weren’t out about it yet and it wasn’t her place to tell, all I knew was that her and spouse were in therapy about something she couldn’t talk to me about yet.

I focused more on her reaction to it when I was talking to her, because I know how much she hates secrets and has wanted to talk to me about it and I wanted her to tell me all the things she’s been holding back. And also their family’s reactions because they suck. (The reaction is that everyone thinks her wife is going to hell, even the wife’s mother.) But the first thing I asked was how to spell her wife’s new name.

When the conversation was over and I had her permission to tell others I informed my spouse and mom, because they also know my BFF and might talk about her spouse and I didn’t want them to accidentally misgender/deadname her.

My mom’s first question was how to spell her wife’s new name 😂 (and then if she was using she/her pronouns or smth else).

Idk. It’s exciting. I’m happy for all you funky little queer folk. I’m sorry my ass is taking so long to catch up. I’ll make sure my kiddo is better than me. Forgive him for misgendering over half the population currently (and most inanimate objects).

#now that i've written it all it's like way too personal to post right #but also #I've already written it all...#it's a good thing my posts only get like 4 notes #Also for the record my kid will know that we use he/him only for convenience #but not to assume we're correct #and they can correct us at any time with our full support #anyway I saw a kid at his swim lessons in head-to-toe-to-towel spider man merch from the boy department and I assumed girl #just because he had long hair???#wtf me #I knew not to say anything out loud so that's good #my husband has long hair. He got a lot of shit growing up because of it #(utah sucks)#what's wrong with me #hope mom doesn't see this but I've got too many followers on my side blog

7 notes · View notes

fromhannahx · 3 years

Text

12/30/2021

Just another day. When I look back at this past year, having lived in Oregon, Oklahoma, and California, it all looks the same. In Portland I was alone and scared. It is hard making genuine friends as an adult. In Oklahoma I was never alone, and everyone was always up in my business. I went on several dates and they all got progressively shitty. And here I am in California, living with my granny. I don’t like it here enough to move out and get my own place, California fucking sucks. I have a couple friends here, but I never see them. And if I met them as we were today, I don’t know if we would even be friends. Maybe they already know that and that’s why we don’t see each other.

I have two interviews tomorrow. I hope they go well, just so I will have something to do. I thought about going on dates just to have something to do or to make friends, but then I thought I have become so beige, so gray, that I have nothing to offer. I have no idea who I am anymore. As a kid my walls were literally covered in National Geographic pictures. I used to want to join the peace corps and travel. I still do but I just don’t know how to get there.

My granny said today that she hasn’t been feeling like herself lately. I know that is in reference to me being here or to how I have been treating her, but I don’t know how to have that conversation. I just feel overwhelmed and like I am a teenager again, but at the same time I am responsible for her entertainment and the validation of herself.

I used to pray to Gods and the Universe all the time, and I really felt like someone was listening. I haven’t felt that energy in a very long time, and I don’t know how to get it back. I don’t know how to motivate myself. Honestly, very honestly, I just want to die. But I don’t want it to be my fault. What the fuck is so amazing about living, especially in today’s world? I see that in my sister, too. She is 14. When I was her age I was having sleepovers every weekend and trying to get into trouble. She never hangs out with anyone physically, but her snapchat is FILLED with unopened chats. And she goes to therapy. For what? She does absolutely nothing except scroll all day when she’s not in school. No sports, no hobbies, no physical friends (by choice because her “people tolerance is low”), she just scrolls.

I don’t want to be manifesting shitty things for myself, but I can’t help the way I feel. And it’s not like I’m not taking steps to better myself. I am still a full time student, I have 2 job interviews tomorrow, and I am trying to get my TEFL certificate.

I just want to go home.

#personal

4 notes · View notes

shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years

Photo

youtube

Texan-born, Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter and TikTok personality Allison Ponthier makes a splash with 'Cowboy' – it's the enthralling first taste of her upcoming EP. Finding a path away from her conservative upbringing, queer singer-songwriter Allison Ponthier is another artist making country music her own. Taking references from Kacey Musgraves and Orville Peck, Ponthier's take on the genre is high camp and features a kaleidoscopic visual world too. Growing a huge following on TikTok, 'Cowboy' marks the start of a whole new chapter for Ponthier with her debut release with Interscope and Polydor. The track itself references her move from the bible belt to New York City and her journey accepting her sexuality. Warm and inviting 'Cowboy' is cinematic pop with some real heart-on-sleeve confessional songwriting. Complete with a masterful music video that runs like a mini-movie complete with impressive special effects, on reflection, cinematic is an understatement. The video itself is a striking and exciting introduction to this new artist, “I probably watch movies more than I listen to music,” Ponthier says of the video. The clip, directed by Jordan Bahat (Christine and the Queens) adds a whole new cosmic energy to the track and aims to amplify the lyrics' detailed storytelling. As she unveils more of her forthcoming debut EP, Ponthier explains what we can expect from her; “a lot of my songs are about being uncomfortable in your own skin but getting to know yourself better, figuring out who you really are.” [via the Line Of Best Fit]

youtube

Miley Cyrus has shared the full video for 'Angels Like You'. The pop rebel returned in 2020 with her excellent album Plastic Hearts, a series of superb empowerment anthems. Album highlight 'Angels Like You' has received the video treatment, shot at the Superbowl in front of an audience of fully vaccinated healthcare workers. Miley has also provided a note for the video describing her feelings of gratitude to these workers. [via Clash]

youtube

LA punk four-piece The Paranoyds have dropped a new video for track 'Egg Salad', taken from their album Carnage Bargain which is out now on Suicide Squeeze. The video's director Nicole Stunwyck comments "The video presents the glitzy & glamorous world of a teenage girl who, after accidentally catching a beauty pageant on TV, dreams of her rise to stardom & subsequent downfall... It’s not a commentary on anything but an experimental depiction of my own personal fascination for young tragic starlets alà Valley of The Dolls."

youtube

Noga Erez and collaborative partner ROUSSO have shared a fifth compelling new single from forthcoming album KIDS which is set for release on March 26 via City Slang. 'Story' is a snappy, addictive song about how couples relationships are always a relationship between two people’s past and present. "Everyone brings their past experiences to the relationship even if things are great" Erez comments. "Sometimes past situations come in and take over." As with the album's previous singles 'Story' is brought to life with a captivating video, starring Erez and ROUSSO, who also provides vocals on the track. "ROUSSO is my partner in music as well as my partner in life" she explains. "This is the first time we tell a story about our relationship in a song and video. It’s a song about a couple fighting and how, in that situation, sometimes what you hear the other person say is not what they actually said. The making of this video was a 10-day couples therapy session for us. As we rehearsed the pretend fighting and martial arts moves we knew that, at times, one of us would get punched just a little too hard. It was so intense and interesting to live in this world, where our relationship comes alive in the most physical way."

youtube

After announcing Detritus with lead outing 'Stories' last month, Sarah Neufeld has unveiled the album's second single 'With Love and Blindness'. Neufeld says of the song and Jason Last-directed video, "The video for 'With Love and Blindness' came together through a long-time collaboration between myself and videographer Jason Last. I knew that Jason and I would work together again on some visual aspect for my third solo release, and it so happened that before I even began recording the album, we were presented with the opportunity to do a mini residence on Corsica with Providenza; an amazing collective with a farm, cultural laboratory, festival and residency program." She continues, "I was doing a short solo tour in Europe in the summer of 2019 in order to re-work some of the pieces from the dance collaboration to begin to find a shape for the album that was to be recorded in the Fall. In the middle of that tour, Jason and I travelled to Corsica for several days (graced once again with a suitcase containing Esteban Cortazar’s unique and beautiful creations). Besides performing in Providenza’s outdoor amphitheater, we were immersed in nature, literally staying in a treehouse perched on the side of a mountain, overlooking the dramatic coastline." Neufeld adds, "I found that the pulse of the landscape resonated with the essence of the music, especially "With Love and Blindness"; a sense of rawness, of sensuality, of a strange gravity intensified by the hypnotic summer heat and the general otherworldliness of the place." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

youtube

Molly Burman was brought up around music. At every family event, every party, the soundtrack would resonate with her, providing an education in itself. Both parents were gigging musicians, and she always wanted to follow in their footsteps, to use performance as a means of self-expression. Lockdown brought the time and space to bring these ideas into focus, and she's working to unveil a series of one off singles. Her debut single proper 'Fool Me With Flattery' is out now, a blissfully melodic piece of indie pop with some whip-smart lyricism. There's a tongue in cheek element to her sound that is fantastically endearing, matched by the subtle lo-fi elements of her bedroom pop confection. She comments: "I wrote the song after a long day of feeling overlooked and ignored by some of the guys in my life. I was fed up, angry and used the stereotype of a mansplaining misogynist to let it all out. This song is for anyone who feels belittled and like they’re being made to shrink themselves; be as big as you possibly can, and don’t let anyone fool you with flattery." The video is a hilarious showcase for Molly's offbeat sense of humour. [via Clash]

youtube

Punk provocateurs Pussy Riot have unveiled their latest song 'Panic Attack', as well as a music video that features a hologram of singer Nadya Tolokonnikova. This is the final release from Pussy Riot’s new Panic Attack EP, a collection of three linked songs that, for now, can only be streamed as separate singles. The title track features punk guitars underneath a tinkling music box melody, as Tolokonnikova turns anxiety into a sports cheer. “Gimme an A,�� she says, “Gimme a T/ Gimme a T/ Gimme an A/ Gimme a C/ Gimme a K/ Okay? Okay.” While upbeat and seemingly cheerful, the synth-punk song comes out of the trauma she experienced in a Russian prison camp. As she explained in a statement, “After serving 2 years in a labor camp, I’m still struggling with mental health issues. Trauma, fear and insecurity never fully go away, causing depression episodes and deep anxiety. ‘PANIC ATTACK’ was born as the result of me staring at the wall for 24 hours in the middle of the pandemic, feeling 100% helpless. I was trying to write something uplifting to encourage people to get through the tough times. But I was just failing and failing. Magically, at the second I allowed myself to be honest and write about despair I was experiencing, I wrote the track in like a half an hour. Depression is a plague of the 21st century, and it tells me that there’s something broken in the way we treat each other. The video ‘PANIC ATTACK’ reflects on objectification of human beings, loneliness, disconnection from the environment that causes us to feel small and powerless. And it’s us who caused it with our own hands – that’s why in the end of the video I’m fighting with my own clone.” The music video for 'Panic Attack' was directed by Asad J. Malik. He used 106 cameras to capture all angles of Tolokonnikova, then converted that information into a photoreal hologram. Afterwards, Tokyo-based creative technologist Ruben Fro built out landscapes reminiscent of video games through which the virtual Tolokonnikova could frolic. But as the visuals progress, those idyllic settings give way to a hellscape, and the singer faces off against a clone of herself. [via Consequence of Sound]

youtube

The wait is finally over. BLACKPINK’s Rosé shines like the star she is with her official solo debut. On Friday, she released two solo songs on her debut single album titled R, 'On the Ground' and 'Gone.' With its deep lyrics, angelic bridge, and Rosé’s high note at the end, 'On the Ground' is an exemplary song for her solo debut. Add the fact that Rosé is credited as a writer for the song, and one can really tell how much time she spent perfecting it for release. The accompanying music video, meanwhile, expands the story of life and growth. Rosé starts off looking lost and trying to find herself amidst all the wildness of life; she eventually encounters past and present versions of herself while searching for answers and purpose. By the end, she finds herself and her path forward, and one can’t help but smile as she sings an explosive outro. [via Teen Vogue]

youtube

On Ellise's latest alt-pop concoction the rising pop star gets gothic as 'Feeling Something Bad...' transforms a crush into an obsession. An expert at catastrophising everyday experiences, the LA-based artist has arrived fully formed with not only a consistent and cohesive sound but a striking visual identity too. That's even more clear when you press play on the accompanying video for her latest infectiously catchy track. With the clip directed by Joakim Carlsson we get to see Ellise in her absolute element as she brings "Feeling Something Bad..." to life in a macabre world of its own. “I just love dramatising little everyday feelings in life, so this is my big dramatic ‘I have a crush on you’ song,” Ellise explains – it's a song she wrote about a boy she barely knew. [via the Line Of Best Fit]

youtube

With President Biden determined to get the majority of American adults vaccinated by summer, bands are earnestly beginning to look forward to the return of live music. Purity Ring are the latest to announce 2021 tour dates, which they’ve shared alongside the video for their track 'sinew'. The song comes from WOMB, the synth-pop duo’s first album in five years that was released just before the pandemic struck. Directed by Toby Stretch, the clip brings back the abstract graphics and costumes that featured in the 'stardew' music video, continuing the enigmatic story of the domed bicyclist and their sun-headed sidecar companion. [via Consequence of Sound]

youtube

Australian Pop Princess, Peach PRC releases the official music video for her debut single 'Josh'. Peach PRC comments on the official 'Josh' visuals, “The music video was inspired by growing up watching the same five infomercials, morning news channels and old movies on my little pink box tv when I was a kid and couldn’t sleep on a school night. The idea was to have “josh” feel just as harassed the more he tries to call. Every creative step along the way was entirely my vision, from writing the music video script, to the lyrics and everything in between. I’m so happy and hope all the girls, gays and theys who dated “josh” will sing along.”

#videos of the week #allison ponthier #miley cyrus #the paranoyds #noga erez #sarah neufeld #molly burman #pussy riot #rose #ellise #purity ring #peach prc

10 notes · View notes

antisociallilbrat · 4 years

Text

Don’t Give Me Roses: Prolouge

Read on Ao3

Sunflowers

Rating - M

Warnings: Not too much for this chapter, light cussing

Summary: Bill Denbrough is what you would consider your normal teenage boy.Well accept for one thing, he's a wheelchair user.And now he has to go to public school for the first time since he's been one. He didn't know what to expect from it, but most certainly not falling for the resident Trashmouth, who annoyingly won't stop calling his chair a 'hot rod.'I suck at summaries but I think it's good !

!DISCLAIMER! I am not a wheelchair user and this story is not written out of any malicious intent, it's simply an idea I've been wanting to write for. That being said, if any wheelchair users finds something, ANYTHING, offensive in this story, please comment and let me know. I will promptly change it. This story is written for joy and not to make anyone feel some negative way. With that being said, I hope you enjoy :)

William Stephen Denbrough would like to consider himself a normal seventeen year old guy. And for the most part he is.He keeps up to date on social media, hangs out with his friends (well, friend, Eddie), and has normal, healthy hobbies.

He’s also an excellent painter and writer. Growing up, his teacher used to boast about his stories, everyone telling him he was sure to grow up into a well published author. As he grew though, his stories got better but they also got darker. A horror writer is what he aspires to be now, finding control over his demons when they’re bled onto paper. His parent’s stop reading his writings after they took a particularly nasty turn, a story about a murderous child eating clown. Bill doesn’t mind too much.

While his writings are dark, his artwork is always filled with life. The desk by his window is filled with portraits and drawings of the world he sees outside his window. Sketches of neighbors walking their dog and kids riding bikes pile share the space on his desk with sketchbooks upon sketchbooks with pages ripped out and haphazardly stuffed back in. Pictures of Georgie with tear stains stay buried in his bottom desk drawer.

In fact, his whole room features everything he needs to cater his interests. Most people his age would consider themselves jealous. The once garage that had since been converted into a spacious room for him, even with a built-in on sweet bathroom. Bill needs a lot of room to get around comfortably, and his parents wasted no expense for his comfort.

A gaming setup featuring a widescreen t.v. and the latest consoles that would have any teenage guy foaming at the mouth is placed in front of his queen size bed. Two whole book cases overflowing with his favorite works. He’s proud to say he’s read every book on them. Twice. An easel with his latest work in progress; his best friend Eddie, fanny pack and all. Jars of paint and finished and unfinished works alike are scattered around it.

His walls mainly adorn posters of famous baseball players. When he was younger he and his dad would play catch and go to baseball games every chance they got. Some of his favorite days as a child was spent cheering on whatever their favorite team of the season was in a hot stadium, right beside his dad. His dad and him had hopes of him becoming a famous baseball player as well. They were always talking and practicing for him to try out for the middle school baseball team, starting early. That was all before.

Yes, Bill was a normal teenage guy with amazing parents who went above and beyond for him.

Except, there was just one small detail.

He was paralyzed from the waist down. Wheelchair bound for the rest of his life.

Well, his doctors would argue with that last part. ‘There’s always a chance!’, he’s heard that statement too many times to count since the accident. There was always going to be a ‘chance’ he’d regain feeling in his legs, but after seven years, Bill doesn’t have any hopes. The only reason Bill still goes to physical therapy is because it would break his mom’s heart if he didn’t at least put on a show of attempting. And after everything she’s been put through, it’s the least he can do.

After the accident, his parents took him out of public school. The accident caused him to miss the last half of sixth grade year, he had no chance to catch up. And because he had other medical complications (his kidney’s hardly work for shit and he’s had four major surgeries on his spinal cord), it was just easier for him to homeschooled. A decision he was perfectly fine with. He still had Eddie.

Eddie was his only source into the outside world. His best friend since kindergarten, the only friend that stuck around after everything, the one who visited him all his countless times he was in the hospital. Who constantly still visits him almost every weekend, and comes over during the week so they can work on school work together.

Homeschooling also allowed him to spend some time with his mom, since she was his ‘teacher’. They endured through grueling math and boring history and science, but they both shared a passion for literature. They’d stay huddled up on the sofa together, pouring over works from Shakespeare to Edgar Allan Poe. His mom’s favorite author, William Golding, was one they spent a lot of time on. He once asked if he was named after the man, to which his mom only laughed.

So yes, he was perfectly fine with being homeschooled, preferred it even. So to say the least, he was a little upset when his dad announced the summer before junior year that he’d be attending Derry Pubic High.

His mom and him tried to fight the decision, but his dad has always been a stubborn man. “A boy his age needs some friends besides his parent’s Sharon.”

“He has Eddie! There’s no need to make him go, he does fine here.”

“Having one friend isn’t necessarily healthy! What if Eddie decides to branch out? Leave him behind in the dust? He’s going to school and that’s the end of discussion.”

His mom could only shoot him a sympathetic look, the damage was done. He would be attending classes in the fall.

Which was fastly approaching. In a week he’d be the new school freak. He can see it now, no one will actually see him , they’ll only see the chair . The school was already making accommodations for him, building in a makeshift ramp by the stairs and putting the special desks in all his classes. Kids only know him as the kid who’s paralyzed with a dead little brother. He’ll be the talk of the school. The kid that had to leave school after his accident. The idea of people oogling him and whispering when he shows up the first day fills him with dread.

Eddie though, he was absolutely ecstatic that Bill was coming to school with him. When Bill first told him about his dad’s decision, Eddie immediately began prattling off.

“It’s not so bad Bill! The kids are shit but there’s a few cool ones I hang out with!”

“Just wait till you meet Mike and Bev! They’re total sweethearts but their relationship is so sweet and soft it’ll make you gag.”

“Oh, there’s also this kid named Ben who’s really good at art too! I’ll introduce him to you.”

“Make sure to bring a pack lunch because the school food is hot fucking garbage and I’m pretty sure the lunch ladies don’t wash their hands. Do you know how gross that is?!”

Bill almost kicked (ha, kicked) him out the door. Almost.

The thing about Eddie is unlike almost everyone else he’s ever come across (besides his parents), Eddie has never just seen the chair . Eddie never looks at him with unfeeling sympathy or that Bill is broken and helpless. That Bill needs to be taken care of. Eddie only ever sees Bill , still looks at him with the same eyes he did on that day on the playground when they were five and Bill punched some kid for bullying Eddie. The punk had actually spit on him and proceeded to laugh with Eddie launched into a panic attack over germs. Bill had no problem putting the kid on his ass, and the two have been inseparable ever since. Despite the chair, Eddie still looks at Bill like he’s some hero. He just hopes Eddie's school friends can see past the chair also.

And Eddie being Eddie, knew Bill was apprehensive about everything. So he had the bright idea to drag Bill to the ice cream parlor the two frequently visit together and introduce him to his boyfriend, Stan. He wanted Bill to be reassured that not only did he have Eddie, but he also had Stan.

Now Bill didn’t have a strong opinion on Stan yet, the two have only been dating for the summer and Bill hadn’t had a chance to meet him, but in all their instagram photos Eddie posts of the two, Eddie’s smile is absolutely radiant. That has to count for something. And so far so good, when Stan met Bill he gave him a firm handshake and discreetly wiped his hand on the side of his pants after. Bill still saw, but didn’t really mind. His hands are rough with calluses, which he tries to avoid by wearing gloves, and always sweaty due to the chair.

And that's how he finds himself observing the two at Eddie and his table, waiting on their orders. Eddie is rambling about something, probably the upcoming school year, while he studies the spoons provided for them. Bill and Eddie have been here multiple times, the owner knows them by heart, so he knows the spoons are clean. But old habits die hard and who is Bill to judge?

He watches as Eddie passes the spoons wordlessly to Stan, who in turn takes out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the spoons down in three consecutive neat circles. He passes the spoons back to Eddie, who inspects them and deems them clean before setting them back down the napkin. That’s when their relationship clicks in his brain, and he’s smiling, happy Eddie has found someone so perfect for him.

“What do you think Big Bill?”

“What d-do I think of whuh-what?” Eddie’s question completely snaps him out his thoughts.

“Of your classes? Eddie tells me you’re taking advanced english?” Stan is smiling warmly at him, over focused on keeping eye contact. Probably not trying to glance at the chair, most people are like that when they first meet him. He prefers this though to the people who only want to talk about his accident and can’t stop looking at the chair.

Bill shakes his head, “Uh yuh-yeah. English was alway muh-my favorite subject with muh-my m-mom.”

“Oh, that’s really sweet, do you know what period you have it? I’m also in advanced English. Maybe we have it together?”

He racks his brain trying to remember, “I’m pruh-pretty sure I have it at t-the beginning of the day.”

“Oh me too!” Stan is smiling brightly at him, obviously pleased with this information. Bill gives him a small smile back.

“Oh you two are no fun. I have Ms. Laterfield for trigonometry first thing in the mornings.” Eddie wrinkles his nose in disgust, lips pulled into a pout.

Stan lightly laughs at him before putting his arms around his shoulders, Eddie’s pout dropping immediately under the arm of his boyfriend. “Don’t envy Bill and I too much, heard through the grapevine that Richie is in that class also.”

“Ugh Richie Tozier. Pretty sure that Trashmouth never shuts up. Nevermind, I’ll take Ms. Laterfield.”

Before Stan can reply, Bill is interjecting, “Ruh-Richie Tozier? Didn’t you d-date him?” He can vaguely recall Eddie dating some guy with that name back in their freshmen year. All he ever did was complain about how loud and obnoxious he was and Bill could never figure out why they were dating in the first place. The relationship didn’t last long if he remembers correctly.

Eddie’s face instantly heats up with embarrassment, “It was almost three years ago Bill! We had nothing in common and the only reason we ‘dated’” he makes finger quotes to prove his emphasis, “was because we were the only out guys in the school at the time. I’d hardly call that mess of a person my boyfriend.”

Stan’s laughing at his outburst and Bill knows for a fact he wouldn’t be able to get away with laughing at him. “Now don’t be too harsh on him, he can be funny once in the blue moon.”

“Yeah when he’s not spewing out garbage.”

“B-but that’s why he’s called the truh-trashmouth right?” He means for his question to come off completely serious, but Stan and Eddie start laughing.

He wants to interject, ask them more about this supposed trashmouth, but the ice creams arrive and they’re still smiling at Bill, the last bit of their laughter dwindling down. So he just shrugs his shoulders and smiles back before digging in. Sending up a silent prayer to whoever’s listening that he can easily make friends like he has with Stan.

This year was going to be interesting to say the least.

A/N: NEW FIC ALERT ! Thank you for reading! It's rated M for mature because I'm not sure if I'm going add smut into later chapters (when the characters are adults) or not. Let me know what you think? Comments give me fuel! Also this story will be updated more after I finally finish my other stories so bare with me on updates...And if you wanna comment any ideas or stories you want to see explored with this premises please let me know !

Taglist: If this is a story you’d like to be tagged for, please lemme know :)

#bichie #bill denbrough #richie tozier #steddie #stanley uris #stan uris #eddie kasprak #kasprough #it #it ch 2 #it 2017 #it 2019 #reddie #past

30 notes · View notes

in-tua-deep · 5 years

Note

I haven't interacted before but I love all your aus and your writing! Reading them a while back got me back into the umbrella academy. I just read your ben saves the day au and everything about it is amazing and also makes me very sad. Do you think Klaus was there or ever manifests himself with his powers or something? It's wonderful where it ends but the whole family together would make it so much happier...

!!!!! thank you!! and thank you even more for asking me about the ben saves the day au bc I actually did have a vague idea on how to get Klaus back in the au and even though your idea with him managing to manifest himself with his own powers is probably way more valid my brain produced a slightly. stranger option lmao

(ben saves the day au can be found right here)

So it’s after everyone has gone home. Ben is left in his apartment with his two cats and also Five who, Ben is discovering, is super super messed up about everything.

(every day Ben thanks god that Five is living with him and not in the manor where there are about six hundred different triggers floating around)

Ben tells his coworkers that, with his father’s death (which they know about bc of his time off work) he gained custody of his 'nephew’ who Ben would have stolen years ago if he’d even thought that he was in the house (truth) and that Five has multiple issues

his coworkers are very supportive

Ben calls in a few favors and manages to get Five’s existence legalized by claiming that Five is his own son who Reginald managed to get his hands on after the death of the original Five.

(“I would have been sixteen, Ben.”

“People have had kids younger, and you were a teenage runaway. People would absolutely believe you made bad life choices.”

“Ben!”)

And Ben has friends, okay. His coworkers are all super supportive and swing around with extra food and hand me down clothes from their own teenage kids and other supplies that Ben might need as the sudden guardian of a teenage boy.

And Five doesn’t even have to do anything to sell the lie, because he’s wary of all of them, flinches at loud noises, and they all see him pocketing extra food when he thinks no one is looking. Five tends to retreat to the bedroom (it’s a one bedroom apartment - him and Ben are sharing right now) when people come over and since Ben has politely asked Five to Not use his powers around his friends until he tells them he’s the Horror on his own terms, Five can’t even sneak to the kitchen or anything

They worry about Ben’s financial situation, taking on a kid on such short notice, but Ben assures them that he’s fine and that he can just use his father’s inheritance money.

(Reginald was a billionaire. They are all legally his children. None of they are actually going to be wanting for money for a good long while.)

So everything is settling down and smoothing out. Ben has custody of Five. Allison is in negotiations with Patrick and is being allowed supervised visits with her daughter. Luther and Vanya are both in therapy. Diego is grudgingly using Reginald’s money to buy a new place that isn’t a boiler room that’s big enough for both him and Grace (and of course to get her charging station to a portable state) and last Ben heard he was looking at somewhere pretty close to where Ben and Five live, which is a nice thought. Ben’s trying to convince Luther to move out of the manor as well and get his own place, and he’s at least thinking about it so - progress.

That’s around the time when Ben goes to sleep and has a really wild dream.

The dream is desaturated, and there’s a little girl on a bicycle. She looks very aggrieved.

“Are you Ben?” She demands to know.

“Uh,” Ben says very intelligently, because he was not expecting to be interrogated by a little girl in his dream. This is probably Five’s fault because the little gremlin convinced Ben that ice cream for dinner was necessary. Are ice cream dreams a thing? “Yes.”

The girl tosses her hands up in sarcastic triumph, “Wonderful! Then he can be your problem! I have held on for as long as humanly possible, but I’m done. He’s constantly badgering me and I can’t handle it. You idiots already mucked around in the time stream, this shouldn’t cause reality to collapse. Probably.”

“What?” Ben asks blankly, because reality collapsing sounds a little bit concerning.

“You’ll see.” The little girl promises darkly, waving her hand.

And then Ben wakes up, and he wakes up wheezing because what the fuck, was Five jumping on his stomach like an actual five-year-old right now? He opens his eyes, and meets startled green ones and a mop of curly hair that definitely does not belong to Five.

“Ben!?” The boy who is definitely Klaus who is dead yelps loudly, startling back and waking up Five who startles bad enough to roll completely off the bed and scramble to his feet.

Klaus looks exactly the way he did when he died. Sixteen years old with a wild mop of hair that Reginald had been threatening to cut for weeks.

(He looks like Nathan Young in Misfits, y’all. That’s it.)

“Klaus!?” Five yells, making Klaus swing around to stare at Five with equally wide eyes.

“You can see me?” Klaus asks, incredulously, patting himself down. He’s in the umbrella academy uniform and Ben allows himself a moment to close his eyes and swallow his grief because he is apparently the responsible adult in this situation.

“Klaus,” Ben says gently, and both boys attention go to him, “Does God happen to look like a little girl on a bike, by any chance?”

“Uh,” Klaus manages, which Ben takes as confirmation.

He pinches the bridge of his nose to hold back the headache (and the tears because Klaus is here and he’s not dead anymore except he was dead and Ben doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with this at ass o’ clock in the morning). He pulls off the covers and swings himself out of bed, quickly crossing the room to open some drawers.

Klaus and Five both watch him warily, but it’s unfounded. All Ben does is grab an old t-shirt and some sweatpants and toss them at Klaus.

(Klaus doesn’t even lift his hands to catch them, just looks alarmed when they hit him in the face. Ben does not apologize, because he might laugh and if he laughs he will cry)

“It is,” Ben glances at the alarm clock, “Three twenty six in the morning. I am going to call off work today so we can deal with... whatever this is. But that’s not happening at three in the morning. Klaus, get changed, you aren’t sleeping in that. The bed might be a squeeze but at this point I don’t care.”

Klaus is wide-eyed and Ben’s heart aches but he gives a quick shaky nod and just starts peeling off his uniform there and then. Ben crawls back into bed, scooching over so he’s in the middle and impatiently gesturing at Five, who still has his back to the wall like a cornered animal.

Without taking his eyes off of Klaus, Five slowly creeps back over to the bed. Usually Ben gives Five his space on the bed, but that’s not going to work tonight with three of them so when Five crawls in Ben wraps an arm around his still tiniest brother and presses a kiss against that dark mop of hair.

Five’s face pulls into a scowl but he doesn’t protest the actions, allowing himself to curl into Ben’s warmth.

Klaus hovers at the edge of the bed once changed, looking uncertain. Ben’s sweatpants are a bit short on him - even at sixteen Klaus is lanky, but serviceable.

“Come on then,” Ben says, reaching out a hand because he has two arms. Klaus doesn’t need more of an invitation, rocketing into the bed and crashing against Ben’s side, making the bed sway and Five yelp a protest.

Klaus’s skin is ice cold (Ben had forgotten his brother’s unfortunate circulation issues) but Ben doesn’t shove him away. Just tucks his arm around Klaus’s bony shoulders and reels him in closer, because his bed really isn’t that big and he doesn’t want either of his brothers to fall out.

Klaus sniffles wetly, and Ben leans over to press a kiss into Klaus’s curly mop of hair. Five makes a small sound of protest - his need to be an attention hog temporarily overruling his dislike of being treated like a child.

“Go to sleep,” Ben tells both of his boys sleepily, “We’ll figure things out in the morning.”

He gets some vague confirmation noises from both sides (though Klaus still sniffles) and Ben really is tired because he barely closes his eyes before falling back into the void of sleep.

His last thought before he falls is - Please, god, let this not be a dream.

He wakes up in the morning feeling heavy. This is because Klaus has rolled in the night to be pretty much bodily on top of Ben, his curly hair tickling at Ben’s nose and his elbow kind of digging into his stomach. Five is on his other side, plastered against him. Their legs are all tangled enough that Ben can’t actually tell which foot belongs to him, Five, or Klaus.

A quick check of the time reveals that he still had a few minutes before his alarm goes off.

On one hand, Ben never wants to leave this bed. He’s a little bit afraid that moving will make the magic vanish, and Klaus will disappear again, but he also really needs to call work and tell them he can’t come in today. So reluctantly, he shifts to free his hands from the pile and in doing so manages to wake both boys.

It’s a sleepy slow waking up, Five grumbling in a way that Ben will never tell him is adorable and Klaus giving a while as his limbs straighten in a big stretch. They both open their eyes, see each other and Ben, and blink in alarm.

Ben does not want a repeat of the early morning and just shrugs them both off of him, “Good morning.” He greets them as he peels himself out of bed with a yawn. “Give me a minute to call work. Five, show Klaus where the bathroom is - ”

“I know where it is.” Klaus cuts Ben off, and then proceeds to look surprised when Ben actually pauses at the interruption.

“What is going on.” Five doesn’t even asks, because he seems to have accepted that this is their lives, their cosmic punishment for having superpowers or something. He just looks between Klaus and Ben like one of the will make the world make sense again.

Ben sympathizes. He can feel a full blown freak out building up in his chest - he just needs to call work and then call the rest of the family to come over as well before he can have it.

“Hold that thought.” Ben says, holding up a finger as he scoops his phone up and walks to the kitchen to make his call.

And he sends the bat signal to the family is a succinct “hey guys please come to the apartment asap klaus showed up in my room last night, five can confirm” which absolutely sets that cat among chickens as the group chat BLOWS UP but ben can’t bring himself to read everything so he just. starts making breakfast.

five and klaus emerge from the bedroom and five has his hand clamped around Klaus’s elbow and Klaus is sort of boggling at the connection and isn’t protesting and five’s face looks tight and ben can see that freak out waiting to happen as well

and that’s how klaus ends up back with the family. God kicks him out because she doesn’t like him, Ben gets the shock of his life, Five is very concerned, and the whole family ends up freaking out

Ben ends up getting a bigger bed because Klaus ends up staying with him and Five

Ben ends up finally coming clean to all his friends about being the horror and that Five is not his nephew but is actually his time travelling brother and also his brother who had powers to do with the dead has come back from the dead

(and yes, these brothers are also the very same brothers he named his cats after - at least Seya and Brat take Klaus’s presence like champs. it’s almost like they’re used to him being around already...)

ben should really consider getting a bigger apartment considering there are now three of the living in there but honestly?? Five doesn’t sleep well alone (which they figured out when Ben tried to take the couch in the early days) and Klaus is an absolute octopus who is constantly marveling at being able to have human contact and Ben really doesn’t have the heart to kick them out of his room so.

(they’re both so touch starved, and they both break Ben’s heart)

but also the bigger apartment consideration might be necessary because every single sibling seems to trot through Ben’s apartment with great frequency. it’s a thing. they all want to spend time with Five and Klaus.

(there’s a heartbreaking moment where Five thinks that because Ben had Klaus back he’s going to kick Five out which they both hug it out over)

they all have to figure it out together and it’s a big mess but at the end of the day

what’s family for?

#ask me #earmuffstar #ben saves the day au #me being sad klaus wasn't in the au and figuring out how to bring him back??#more likely than you'd think #and also i just love god as a character and want to see more of her so #ben gets an Encounter #klaus was hanging around the entire time following his siblings #(mainly ben and diego)#he saw the whole apocalypse thing #he's sixteen and super touch starved and not used to his comments being actually heard #on the bright side he's been dead and unable to do drugs for. a good long while #so he's sober #five is super salty he's still the physically youngest sibling #ben is just dealing with his two still teenaged brothers and dying #but they're all happy that four-five-six as a team is back together #tua #tua au #the umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #five hagreeves #number five #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hagreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #even when ben finally gets a bigger apartment they probably all still share a room/bed #eventually five accepts that he's a sleep cuddler #ben is usually in the middle with cuddles on both sides

243 notes · View notes

ohtheseboysilove · 5 years

Text

The sunflower always finds its sunlight V [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 300 K +

Warnings : language, alcohol,, angst, eating disorders, drugs

Summary : Roger likes Reader since forever but the timing seems to just never be right for them. Reader is still haunted by her past relationship and kept rejecting Roger who know nothing about the abuses she had been victim of. After being rejected for the sixth time, Roger thinks it’s time for him to move on…

🌼Requests are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“You’re doing real great progress (Y/N), I will see you next week” You smiled timidly at your psychologist, shaking her hand before making your way out the room.

You sighed deeply when the loud wind blew in your hairs, helping you breathed easier. It had been a month since you stared your therapy to talk about the abuses you had been victim of and it was slowly but surely helping you. You only had four sessions so far, you were still being a bit shy about telling your deepest and darkest secrets to a total stranger – well, she weren’t anymore but still – but you couldn’t deny it was a real relief to have someone to speak and who wasn’t judging you.

A delicious smell was floating into your flat when you pushed the door open, noises and humming coming from the kitchen. Freddie, probably. He had an emergency keys and since he found out you were struggling again with your eating disorders, he spent most of dinner time with you, making sure you ate a minimum. If he is busy he would call you to check on you. You found that a bit annoying at the beginning, feeling like a child constantly watched but after a week or so, you were grateful, having someone who cared so much about your health, it was so nice, helping you to get better for sure.

“Honey, I’m home” You shouted with amusement as you dropped your bag and coat on a chair, kicking off your shoes and slipping into a comfy hoodie. You made your way to the kitchen to find Freddie wearing your apron, a big cooking-pot fuming on the baking tray. “Its smell heavenly Fred, what is it ?”

“Oh, hello my little sunflower ! I went to mom’s today and she was scared I would die of starvation without her home-cooking meals, so here” He pointed to the plate of curry rice on the counter.

You winced at the nickname sunflower, you had been called that since you were a kid due to your contagious and inexhaustible happy mood and its stick even during your teenagers years and then adult life. You were a little sunflower, always turned toward the sun to see the bright side of everything. But that was before. You lost this joy about half of your relationship with Donovan, mostly because of him, crushing every bit of happiness you could have left in your body. Around the same time, you lost your paternal grandmother so everyone assumed you were sad and hurt because of that and you didn’t contradict them, hiding the consequence of Donovan’s abuses on you. The truth was that you barely knew your grandmother but it had been the perfect cover. After that, you asked your friends to stop calling you like this, it wasn’t right anymore, it just sounded dumb.

“Don’t call me Sunflower Freddie, it’s not me anymore” You murmured as you took from the cupboard two clean plates.

“Nonsense, darling. I know you’re going through some tough times since few years but inside, your still our little sunflower (Y/N), you will be alright. I believe in you” He pinched your cheeks and chuckled when you thanked him, maybe a tear or two shinning into your eyes. “Dinner is ready ! And I’m fucking starving” He poured the hot vegetables on the rice as you grabbed the spicy chicken, taking everything on the living-room table.

“Bon appétit” You both giggled like kids at your dumb french accent and you dipped enthusiastically into your plate, letting the sweet and sour food melted into your mouth. “It’s so good Fred, you need to thank your mom for me”

“Indian food is the best comfort food, ever” He winked at you and stole some glances at your food, checking you were eating correctly. You were both chatting happily, telling about each other day like an old couple and it felt good to have someone around, loneliness weren’t your cup of tea anymore so you were definitively glad for a such good friend. “By the way, we’re going out tomorrow night”

“By we, you mean…?”

“You, Paul, Rog, Nina, Brian, Chrissie, and yes, even John and Veronica are in, amazing right ? Our little Ronny said she didn’t have a night of fun since the baby Deacon is born so it’s going to be fuuuuun” He pushed the empty plate in front of him and you did the same, only a quarter of the food was still inside, making Freddie hummed contently.

“Do I have any choice ?” He shook negatively his head and you sighed. “I guessed I need to find an outfit then, any suggestion ?”

You and Freddie spent the rest of the evening making a splendid mess in your closet, looking for the perfect outfit. You opted for a nice pair of stripped wide-leg trousers with a knotted flowery top with loose sleeves. The outfit was cute and hiding your too-thin-for-your-taste arms and also your ribs still visible from your drastic lost of weight from the past months, you were clearly doing better but you were still not comfortable enough to put tight and short clothes. But it was a beginning.

You clenched the black jeans jacket tighter around you as the fresh wind tickled your neck, the sun slowly starting his descent in the cloudless London’ sky. You were supposed to meet your friends in a new pub in Camden Town, you were rather excited, it had been a while since you all get out like in the good old days. You pushed the door opened and you were immediately greeted by the familiar smell of the cold cigarette and greasy foods. Pub life.

“Hi everyone !” You threw your jacket on an empty chair and sat without any grace, sighing with relief at the warmer temperature than outside.

“Ah my little sunflower is finally here ! We didn’t wait for you, we were starving !” Freddie exclaimed before biting eagerly into his burger. “But I ordered you a beer, unfortunately you took to much to time so I had to drink it before its getting warm” He shrugged and you chucked softly, looking the menu, your mouth drooling over all the foods on the table.

“Oh, we’re allow again to call you sunflower now ?” You curled a crooked smile to Roger and stole a salty chips from his plate.

“He didn’t ask my opinion about it” You stated and quickly looked back at the menu, still a bit weird to have an eye contact with the drummer.

The day you almost confessed your feelings to him was a month ago and both of you acted like nothing happened. Nina was still in the picture, siting cosily next to Roger. The blond had feel horribly guilty after your little conversation, he had act like no one was already in his life, begging you to confess your feelings, completely disrespecting Nina, he promised to himself that won’t happen again. She was his girlfriend and he would act like a good boyfriend, pushing aside his feelings for you, he couldn’t wait forever for you.

“We need to choose wich club we going after” Veronica wiggled her eyebrows with excitement as her husband rolled his eyes, not seeming really into going out after dinner. “I heard the one you in Soho is really cool, it’s rock music and it look great”

“What about the gay club near Leicester square ?” Brian scoffed at Freddie’ suggestion, his cheeks flushing lightly.

“I don’t go in gay club anymore, it’s...too wild for me” He murmured as Chrissie cooed at his intense blushing.

“Ah poor Bri ! You still didn’t forget this crazy evening ? You need to take this stick out of your ass my darling” Everyone giggled as you all remembered the last time you were at a gay club and Brian had been awfully popular, men sticking around him like flies. He had been adorably cute, gently pushing away every man with a nervous smile when some hands were a bit too adventurous. Roger, the usually most popular – after Freddie, of course – was jealous but never stopped teasing his friend about it.

You left the table few minutes to order a plate of sweet potatoes chips and a fresh beer before sitting back, the discussion of the club was finish, Veronica had win. You took a sip of your drink and thanked the waiter when he brought your meal, your fingers immediately dipping into the chips.

“Hey (Y/N), I saw you yesterday !” You plunged your greasy chip into the ketchup and shoved it into your mouth, an eyebrow curiously lifted. “I was just leaving my yoga class in Hammersmith and you were just entering this psychologist Cabinet at the corner of the main street, I was surprise, didn’t know you were seeing a psy” Nina commented before sipping her coke through a straw.

You almost chocked onto your chip, blush creeping on your face. You looked at her with round eyes, not understanding why she thought sharing this information with everyone was a good idea. It was private and personal and no one knew before now.

“You’re seeing a psychologist ?” Roger asked incredulously, his spoonful of cheesecake hanging in the air.

Every pair of eyes were on you, an awkward silence suffocating the table. You swallowed your food and babbled some lame excuse : “Hum, yeah...I’m...I needed to talk about some hum issues to someone, so yeah”

“About what ? What is going on ? Are you okay ?” You knew Roger was just acting as a worry friend but it was fucking private.

“Roger, I don’t think (Y/N) want to expose to everyone her personal reasons, just drop it” The soft but firm voice of Deaky delivered you from these three longest minutes of your life.

You nodded timidly and flashed to the bassist a grateful smile before bowing down your head into your plate, chewing absent-mindedly a chip. You could feel Roger’s gaze on you, he hated secrets, especially between the two of you and how close you were. If only he knew all the things your hid from him for years…

You were slightly tipsy from the beers you had and you were sipping your second fruity, sweet cocktail which Chrissie placed in your hand ten minutes ago as she went on the dance-floor, Veronica by her side. The proximity of all these bodies wasn’t your favourite thing, in fact it was making you rather uncomfortable, that why you were sitting in a booth next to Deaky and Brian, both of them looking at their wives with amusement.

You felt so awkward, your spine shivering every time you made an eye contact with a man, quickly focusing back on your sparkly drink. God it was going to be a long night.

But thanks to the alcohol, after few more drinks and several shots with the girls, you were feeling absolutely free, dancing like you were the only person in the room. And you kept drinking, dancing, drinking, dancing until your stomach started churning. You stumbled to the toilet and splashed fresh water on your sweaty face, shutting your eyes close.

“You’re okay hon ?” Nina gently asked as she was bended against the counter, her hands making a straight line of coke with her credit card.

“m feeling sick” You slurred as she sniffed the drug with an old note rolled like a straw, throwing her head back in pleasure. You looked at her as she wiped the rest of the white powder off her nose and blinked several times, shaking energetically her hands.

“Too much drinking hum ? I’m not very good at holding my liquor so...” She motioned to the little bag of coke with a grin. Her pupils were already starting to flare as the drug hit her system. “Want some, hon ? Already done coke before, right ?” She asked with a lifted brow.

No. You never did cocaine. You had try few little pills which had make you all giddy and excited but you never went into hard drugs.

“Roger didn’t want to do some tonight, don’t why, he had been weird all night” She added with a complaining tone as she took out her red lipstick from her hand bag, sliding it onto her puckered lips. “The other night he took a line directly from between my breasts and god I swear it was the hottest thing a man ever did to me and after that–“

“I want a line, yes !” You said a bit more louder than you should have but Nina didn’t even notice, too busy giggling excitedly. Why you said yes to the girl ? Maybe because you wanted her to shut up. Or maybe because you thought Roger would find you more interesting if you take hard drugs like a rock star. Completely stupid but when Nina started straightening the line, you didn’t stop her. You were also a bit curious to see how you were going to react to the famous white powder. And the thought of forgetting about yours problems for few hours was really appealing too.

“Here, hon” She smiled sweetly at you and handed you the rolled note. “You can finish, I’m going to dance, too much energy now !” She shook her head with excitement and left you alone.

You nervously grabbed the note and placed it in your nostril before sniffing the drug with a trembling hand. The effect was practically immediate as you scrunched your nose, your eyelashes batting furiously.

“Wow” You murmured as you looked at yourself into the mirror, feeling like someone just injected you a litre of coffee directly into your veins.

You felt electricity ran through your body and you quickly exited the bathroom, walking or rather bouncing, straight to Veronica and Chrissie.

“(Y/N) ! It’s good to see you having fun !” Veronica yelled to cover the insanely loud music.

“I never felt so happy than before !” You yelled back as you swayed your hips outrageously, completely inhibited to the peoples around, the only thing that was mattering was the jolt of energy flying through your system. You were on the top of the world. “This is awesome !” You shouted as you started jumping around before bumping into a man who catch you before you ridiculously fell on the floor. “I’m so sorry” You giggled against his chest, as he shook his head with a hungry smile. Usually the type of man who disgust you but right now, you were just thrilled to have someone to share you overwhelming bolt of energy.

“No problem, doll. Wanna dance ?” He swung you around, hands falling around your waist and bringing you close to him. You closed your eyes and let the music directing your moves, grinding against the brunette. “So pretty, doll. So hot, god, I want you so badly” You smiled wider when his lips started trailing kisses on the delicate skin of your neck, teeth nibbling filthy into your lob ear, making you giggle even more.

Everything felt so good, all your problems were out of your mind and at this precise moment nothing could stop you. Well, except the upset Roger who was making his way to you, the muscles of his jaw twitching under the anger crushing him at this moment. Chrissie was next to him, pointed you with a finger, her face painted with worry.

“Roggie !” You gushed when he reached you, his hand immediately tugging you into his embrace. “I’m having so much fun tonight ! I even make a new friend !” You babbled excitedly, looking at the other man with wide and excited eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing (Y/N) ? You completely drunk, come on” The drummer grabbed your hand and the brunette you were dancing with, tried to interfere but as soon as he saw Roger’s death glare, he walked away. Smart guy.

“Hey! I was dancing with this block !” You weakly protested, the negative vibes emanating from your friend was making you frown. Why he wasn’t having fun like you ? “Rog, I want to dance” You tried to escape his grip but he didn’t budge, kept dragging you behind him like a rag doll. He brought you on the terrace of the club, the wind making you shivered surprisingly. It helped you cool down a bit but your whole body was still animated by an inexhaustible energy, your eyes couldn’t focus on one thing.

“What the fuck did you drink (Y/N) ? I didn’t saw you that drunk since, at least, two years” He took a big drag on his cigarette, looking at you with his big eyes but your gaze were on his sparkly, pink shoes, stupid giggles escaping your lips. The drummer sighed annoyingly at your state and grabbed your face, his fingers holding loosely your chin. “Why did you drink so much ? Is this because of the same reason you’re seeing a psycho–“ He knitted his brows together and took a closer look at your dilated pupils and breathed angrily : “You’re bloody high ?”

“So what ?” You teased with a grin, bopping his nose with your shaky finger. “m’ having fun. Coke is fun” You whispered with toothy smile.

“You took coke ? Are you insane ?” Roger’s eyes widened at your revelation but his upset tone made you take a step back, lips curling down in a grimace. “Why the hell did you take cocaine ? I told you to never touch that shit !”

“Are you mad at me ?” You murmured weakly as the high of energy was quickly going down. Suddenly it wasn’t fun anymore, you felt too nervous and your breathing was...weird, your body trembling as you were experienced the bad side of taking drug.

“Of course I fucking mad at you (Y/N) ! You can’t just tell drug and no tell anyone, it’s dangerous !”

“So you can have fun and take drugs with Nina but when it’s about me, you’re angry with me ? You can sniffed coke from her fucking breasts and have mind-blowing sex but as soon as I start having fun, you stop me and yelled at me !” You burbled with difficulties as your lips felt incredibly heavy to move, anger and sadness mixing together as Roger pinched his lips. “Fuck you Roger”

The blond’s gaze softened at your words, that wasn’t the reaction you were excepting but at this point, nothing really mattered anymore, you just wanted to go home and stopped fucking blinking your eyelashes like a crazy.

“I’m trying to look after you (Y/N), always” He murmured with a tired smile but the picture of him and Nina, tangled between the bed sheet was making you panting, the descent you were living was quite awful and you weren’t feeling good at all. “Where are you going ?” He watched you walked away, your arms clenching on your hand bag as you were going home, your brain completely disconnected from the reality.

“It’s not your job to look after me, I’m a big girl” The blond stretched a hand and grabbed your arm but you swatted his frame away from you, stubbornly refusing his help. “Go back to Nina Roger, she’s your girlfriend, not me. You should take care of her instead, I don’t need you” You spat and you immediately felt your heart ached at Roger’s broken features, looking more hurt than upset by yours words.

“You’re the one who didn’t want me (Y/N), don’t try to turn me into the bad guy in this story” He replied as exhaustion and sadness washed over his face.

You didn’t replied and continued your way on the pavement, walking without any idea where you were heading to but you needed to get away from him. His last sentence was played on a loop in your mind, eyes watering at the thought that he was right. You rejected him, so many time and still, he was here for you even after all you did to him. You were stupid and a perfect asshole but right now, the shame and pride weren’t simply not allowing you to turn around and go apologise to him.

You didn’t need him, right ?

tag list : @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley @vanitysfairr @loveandbeloved29 @luvborhap @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @geek-and-proud @fearless2tobeme @chlobo6 @stormtrprinstilettos @mrsmazzello @neckfruit@khaleesi2017 @rogertaylorscar @jennyggggrrr

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor fic #queen #roger taylor x you

87 notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 5 years

Text

Yugioh S3 Ep 36-37: Local Mom-Friend’s Weird Trick, Doctors Hate Him

Hey y’all it’s a surprise midweek post because I’m in Canada this weekend woo. Surprised I even got this post done, TBH, I finally get some time where I’m not commuting around to and from San Francisco or corralling small children and I can just sit at my computer and focus and have some peace and quiet and I got--a mysterious sickness from all those kids! *yay* So, since I can’t really focus on anything, I’ll type in here and see if any of my words make any sense at all and hopefully I won’t go on some weird ass tangent like I tend to do like every other post.

So Yugi is still dueling Kaiba, much like he has for the past like...it feels like 4 years. I know I’ve only seen 3 seasons but this is...this is a really long duel. Maybe because there was a month-long break for me in the middle, (during which I watched the entirety of Evangelion, 2 Seasons of Gotham, Stranger Things S3, and the disappointing season of One Punch Man so like...I’ve had some time away from Yugioh) or maybe...maybe it’s because they’re actually playing card mechanics that go more in depth...

But yeah, despite everything, they’re still dueling.

And honestly, I’m looking at that episode number above me and it’s like...so there’s this Kaiba and Yugi Duel and then...only one more duel, right? Is it going to be a ten episode duel? Like unless Rebecca comes back for a weird cameo like...how...?

Whatever, we’ll get there when we get there.

Anyways, everyone who’s been avoiding this duel like the plague is down with the plague victims in the hospital. That’s where Tristan gets a bright idea and it’s one of his dumber ones, believe it or not.

Man, I forgot that comatose Joey Wheeler is still wearing that duel disk Pharaoh slapped on him during all this too, haha.

Also, why does he have to have all these pectoral suction cups while they just kinda...gave up on Mai? I mean I know they can’t show boobies on a Y7 show but like...it really feels like the doctor just kinda shrugged at Mai and was like “I only have one set of boob suction cups, I really didn’t think I’d need more than that, if at all.”

(read more under the cut)

And so Tristan decides that if Joey is at the window which is like...600 ft below Yugi Muto’s duel, a duel you can’t...really see from the ground...then Joey Wheeler will arise.

I mean, it’s gonna work, it’s just also kind of laughable that Joey wasn’t able to hear any of this nonsense from the bed that is two feet away from the window.

But wtv, it’s very dramatic and Tristan gets to cry some more and feel useful I guess.

The haunted underwear mannequin plot-thread was dumped between that episode and this one, and I’m kinda bummed out that more things haven’t turned into haunted underwear mannequins.

Instead of horrific underwear mannequins, Joey’s dream has gone back to the standard fare of Joey picking on middle schoolers and wearing a much better outfit than he has for most of this show.

I will super miss Joey in a fitted suit. Like, soak it allll in horny preteens, because pretty soon, Joey Wheeler will be back in that scruffy oversized T-shirt just like...well, just like how a teenager would be. I mean there’s some REASONS Mai can’t date Joey, but the fact he has a fitted suit he refuses to ever wear is one of the top reasons right under, youknow, the fact he’d need a fake ID to ever go out with her.

It’s kind of amazing actually, how my whole life I kinda just figured this was a show of insane character designs, only to find out when I actually watch the show that there is like a ... REALLY horny line just going all the way through it.

Honestly, me trying to figure out how and when this kid’s show got so damn horny has been a very big mystery I’ve been trying to solve in the background this entire time. Like, I was told “yeah the Yugioh boys get very attractive.” and I was like “ehhhhhhhh I don’t even know what you’re talking about” but, little by little over the past 3 seasons, these animators are starting to draw these boys just waaaaaaay older than these kids actually are. I’m starting to see what people are saying. It’s still not my thing, personally, but uh yeah I can see how this spawned all that fanart now.

Anyways, speaking of, the other day a friend of mine’s sister was talking about how she, as a millennial, has been wired to love very tall skinny boys in skinny pants and very long coats with popped collars and I immediately was like “Lol are you admitting to Seto Kaiba?”

And she meant Cumberbatch Sherlock, LOLOLOLOL.

And so, back on the duel field we got Seto Kaiba, who’s a lot like Sherlock except a Sherlock who is suffering from both short term and long term memory loss. And, who does cards instead of heroin.

They probably both play violin.

Kaiba, despite having arc after arc where his little brother is his main motivation, has decided to just ditch Mokuba and it’s like...either he’s psyching Yugi out or Seto Kaiba forgot he had a brother for a little bit. He might...he might have forgotten. Mokuba is standing behind him, after all.

And so, because Joey is facing Yugi at just the right moment and at just the right time, somehow he can do his little force ability again and just do this:

Thanks, hallucination!Joey.

And out he goes, drawn like a romance anime character lol.

Anyways, he’s back to being a slob so...welcome back, wrinkle shirt, it’s been a while.

And then Joey looks around and actually said this:

“Did someone get hurt?” He asks, after being burned, electrocuted AND drowned just yesterday.

I was kinda very much hoping Tristan would deck him out.

Glad that, as predicted, the moment Mai doesn’t need to be Joey’s main motivation anymore, the moment he puts the cards away, she may as well not even exist. This show and the way they write straight romances.

Please admire the matching lace up boots on the Kaiba Corp’s Emergency Squad. This would be the most obscure Cosplay on earth but maybe the most wearable Yugioh cosplay outside of Bandit Keith because you wouldn’t need a 400 dollar wig.

And then for some reason Tea just loses her mind and has a complete breakdown. She’s been kind of a mess since Yugi walked out like 2 episodes ago, which seems kind of...I dunno, both out of character but very much in character at the same time. I mean we’re assuming they “have” a relationship it’s just never actually say that they do, so her acting like her man is dead is kinda like...it still feels like it comes out of freakin nowhere.

Anyways, Tea who is strong enough to lift this entire plane and who is, in fact, possessed by at least 2 powerful ghosts (remember Shadi did spends some time there and he did NOT like it), is now a seeping crying mess that refuses to lose any more of her hospital-prone boys.

I mean they were going to go anyway, but they let Tea pretend she had any control over that and kind of glazed over this.

Back in this game that no one else is really watching anymore, Seto Kaiba is still monologuing about his entire life story that he’s never gotten any therapy for, except for that time his evil step brother accidentally gave him therapy.

Quite upset we never see the color of Mokuba’s little tuxedo.

Course...didn’t...Noah wear a little tuxedo in that same exact shape? I mean it’s a silly headcanon but youknow...it could be a yellow tuxedo they just happened to find in the back of the closet.

And it’s at this point that Mokuba just lost his lid. I’m so used to Mokuba unconditionally supporting his crazy brother that this would have been the biggest anime betrayal of the whole series, if Mokuba had said any of this outloud (which he wisely did not).

It was like...damn Mokuba. He actually said something along the lines of “I liked you better when you were poor” and it was like. Holy cow, Mokuba. Damn.

Anyway, a bunch of card stuff happens, and Pharaoh has decided that Seto has too much anger in his heart, and that’s why he will lose. Then, Pharaoh played the card proof for how angry Seto is, and if I actually payed any attention to cards, it would have been very meaningful.

But anyways, kudos to Pharaoh on not mind-wiping Seto Kaiba this time or launching him directly off this very tall tower like he attempted to do last time. They actually played a game start to finish with eachother and nothing exploded except for every television in Domino. Progress.

and then Mokuba started crying and initially I thought...wouldn’t he have WANTED his brother to lose but then I kind of remembered oh yeah now Mokuba has to deal with this oncoming aftermath.

RIP Mokuba, I guess.

Anyway, I’m out of town for the rest of the weekend, escaping to the far North to get away from the weather. I should be back next weekend, but if I’m not, I was probably eaten by a bear. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to my Yugioh recaps in Chrono order from the beginning.

21 notes · View notes

rookieinbflat · 5 years

Text

Stowaways

AN: I feel much better about this short fic than my last one, so I hope you guys like it too!

Ethan x MC (Levin Stern)

WC: ~2000

Levin is asleep in the front seat of Ethan’s Jaguar, she’s not been sleeping well since the start of the second trimester of her pregnancy, often complaining of headaches, nausea and back pain. All very common for a woman of her age, height and weight carrying twins but nonetheless, Ethan feels completely and utterly helpless to do anything to ease her pain. He tries to ease the uncomfort as much as he can but there’s only so much raspberry sorbet and shoulder massages can do. Levin is grateful never the less, she knows how far out of his way he goes to please her, like going to the linen store to get a soft blanket and cushion to keep in his car for drives like this. The older doctor doesn’t mind it when she falls asleep in the car, he loves driving, it's cathartic for him. He would drive across the country if he could. He plays Clouds by Debussy on the car's speakers and though he is yet to find enough scientific journals to confirm the long term neural effects of classical prenatal music exposure, he’s sure it can't hurt.

They’re going to spend the weekend with Levin’s family in Fairhaven, she gets very homesick when she’s feeling ill and this week has been riddled with headaches and cramps. So he took the weekend off to spend it with her, even though she’s fully capable of driving and it’s still very safe, Ethan feels much more at ease when he accompanies her on trips like this. Her parents live on a small block of land only a few minutes drive out of Fairhaven, the land is lush and green and whenever they’re there, Levin and Ethan feel immensely at peace. The stress and weight of the hospital are not on their shoulders, they spend their days on the farm soaking up the sun or horseback riding, though Levin might have to wait a bit longer before she can get back in the saddle. Ethan loves it here, the smell of fresh cut grass is his favourite but it’s not something you smell often in Boston. Levin’s older siblings are spread across the world, so it’s only the four youngsters occupying the house but Isa has made sure that Levin’s room remains untouched, awaiting her next visit patiently. Ethan loves Levin’s teenage room, the decor is green and lush like a forest with stunning photos she’s taken from her global living adorning the walls, lit up by strings of fairy lights. He’d never imagined he’d love the look of a room like hers but that’s what it is: hers. Ethan feels like he’s taken a step inside her mind, the serene part of her brain, that dreams in the sound of crashing waves and foggy mornings, dew on the long grass and rain hitting the roof.

Ethan loves Levin the most when they’re here.

The drive to Fairhaven is without trouble or excitement when they arrive at the small hobby farm just outside of town, Ethan shakes Levin’s shoulder gently, surprised she wasn’t awoken by the bumpy trip down the dirt drive. Levin rubs her eyes and pulls on her scarf before stepping out of the car and as if on cue, the front door to the farmhouse blasts open and Isa and Edda run up to greet the pair. They’re about to attack Levin with affection until they stop just a couple of metres short, remembering the two extra guests, stowed away beneath layers of skin and cashmere.

“Woah, your belly is really big,” Isa has a look of awe across her face and Ethan chuckles, moving to tousle her hair. She has obviously dressed herself today as she sports a bright silver skirt with farm boots and a Batman shirt.

“Our little stowaways are getting pretty big aren’t they?” Isa wraps her hand in Ethan’s as he leads the Stern women back inside the house, where Levin’s mother is now standing by the door, holding the dogs from escaping out into the yard.

“It’s rude to call out someone’s weight you big dork,” Levin retorts to the ten-year-old who laughs softly watching Levin navigate the stairs going up to the porch with a careful pace, leaning back into her steps.

Edda pipes up beside her, she had the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes and anyone who’s ever seen them says so, “I think you look gorgeous Levy,” Edda is beautiful inside and out, she’s a soft, empathetic soul and a bit of a sad sack at times, but she levels out the craziness of the Stern clan. Levin squeezes her hand as she makes her way over to the door, her mum enveloping her in a warm hug, she smells like Christmas morning - cinnamon and nutmeg. She must be making cinnamon rolls.

“Oh my lord, Levin, look at you!” Kina exclaims and holds her daughter at arm's length, Levin will be the first of her children to give birth to twins, “How many weeks now?” She asks as she leads Levin into the warmth of the farmhouse.

“Twenty-six weeks, not long to go now,” Levin replies as she walks towards the kitchen, on the hunt for something - anything to eat. The pregnancy cravings have got her eating more now than when she stress ate her way through the medical entrance exams and the final season of True Blood. Levin plants herself on one of the cushioned stools surrounding the kitchen bench, pulling a banana from the fruit basket less Ethan throw a fit over her not meeting prenatal nutritional needs. “Actually, I was hoping you could come up to the city next weekend, Ethan is going away for a medical conference and I’ll need help setting up everything in the new house,” Levin asks Kina as she brews a pot of tea, Edda has disappeared but Isa remains faithfully and loyally attached to her sisters side.

“Can I come? I promise I’ll be the biggest help!” She looks up at Levin with puppy dog eyes.

Levin has already demolished the banana by now, “Gotta ask mum dorkface, she’s the one that’s got to deal with you,” She hands the banana peel to Isa who dutifully disposes of the scrap in the compost bin.

Ethan is leaning against the kitchen counter chucking to himself, Levin has Isa completely entranced, ready to go to war for her fearless older sister, no task is too big or small for Isa to show her unending adoration. He knows that Isa has the same effect on his Rookie, who just last week, cried when she heard that Isa had the flu and she couldn’t go and take care of her little sister.

“I’m sure we could find something for you to do at the new house, maybe you could help set up the nursery?” Kina replies and Isa squeals with excitement, scaring the dogs and every human within a five-mile radius.

Ethan helps Kina make lunch, roast chicken with all the accompaniments and they take it out to the dining room to serve everyone. Marti, who is sixteen now has come out of her room to socialise, she’s studying hard to get into sports medicine and the ACTs are coming up soon. Jos, Isa’s twin brother, only speaks in four-word sentences and doesn’t sit still for long, he’s got pretty intense ADHD and keeping his attention for more than five minutes is more challenging than anything Ethan has encountered in his medical career. They sit around the table and debate on what to do for the rest of the afternoon - Isa wants to play board games, Edda wants to play lawn bowls outside, Kina thinks they should all sit in the sunroom and paint. Levin’s mother is an amazing artist, using art as her therapy on a daily basis, more often since she quit smoking cigarettes last year.

They decide on board games on the porch, so that Edda and Jos can run around as much as they please when they finish up with lunch, Levin forgoes boardgames to nap on the hammock, its the comfiest she’s felt in days. Isa and Ethan set up a game of Scrabble and as the game progresses, he’s sure this kid will run the world one day. How the hell does she know the word ‘liaison’?

“Are you excited for the babies?”

Ethan puts down his next tiles then looks up towards Isa, “I’m extremely excited but I’m also a little nervous,” he tells her truthfully, “I didn’t grow up in a large family like you and Levin, I haven’t had much experience with babies,” it almost feels like he’s talking to Levin when they have conversations like this, it’s like she has managed to clone herself into a pocket-sized version of Levin, though this version is almost more sassy than the original.

“I think you’ll be a good dad and me and Edda and Marti will help you, we know all about babies,” she nods with strong assurance, “plus you’re a doctor so you’re super smart so you can be good with babies,” Ethan chuckles at this as he tallies up the new score.

“I know a lot of babies in theory but the practice is a new field for me, Isa, I can tell you how many fingers and toes they have right now, but I don’t know how to stop them from crying when they come out,”

A look of wonder crosses Isa’s soft brown eyes, “You know what they look like right now?” Ethan can tell she’s completely forgotten about the board game as she leans across the table, “You have to tell me.”

Ethan leans across the table now too, resting his weight on his elbows, “Well,” he begins, “they have a thin layer of hair over them called lanugo which keeps them warm and they can hear things fairly clearly now - they know how to cover their ears if there’s a loud sound out here in the environment. They also open their eyes soon and they’ve fingerprints now as well,” the more he goes through the specifics of the babies life in utero, the more Isa’s face lights up, Ethan can see the cogs in her brain turning, trying to figure out what they look like and what it all means.

By the time they begin to finish their conversation, it’s well into the afternoon and almost time for the kids to wash up before dinner, the Scrabble game is long forgotten. Levin wakes from her slumber on the hammock and makes her way over to where Ethan is sitting, gently perching herself on his lap.

“You know we still haven’t thought about baby names,” Levin muses, interrupting Ethan from the trail of kisses he’s laying along her soft shoulders and neck. They haven’t asked the obstetrician about the sex of the twins, they want it to be a surprise.

“Hm, I guess you’re right, I haven’t been thinking about the names I do like so much as the ones I don’t,” he tells her, pulling her long hair back so he can kiss more of her décolletage, “but for what it’s worth, I like the name, Allegra,” Levin ponders this.

“I love that, I think its a gorgeous name, I like the name Laurence for a boy, Laurie for short,” she is hoping for two boys but she knows a girl would please Isa the most.

“Like Little Women,” Ethan points out, one of Levin’s favourite childhood books, she still keeps a copy given to her by her great aunt on the bookshelf, its pages yellow with age. Ethan would be happy with any combination of boys or girls, he just can't wait for the next and possibly most challenging chapter of his life to start. They sit out on the deck for hours, talking until Levin is almost falling asleep again. He takes her into the bedroom, turns on the strings of fairy lights and tucks a sleeping Levin into bed before sliding in next to her, the room is calm and peaceful with the soft, white glow of the lights as he places a kiss on her hair, “I love you, Rookie,” he murmurs into her hair, she smells like peaches and vanilla, “and our little stowaways.”

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #open heart #choices open heart #oh #fluff #babies #love #edenbrook #dr ethan ramsey #play choices #fluff central #im not kidding #twins

20 notes · View notes