#the aego struggle

[time-lady-the-sage]

GLITCH: Ship as you please, but there will be zero romance in this show!

Me, an aroace: Sweet!!

GLITCH:

Me, an aego monsterfucker: Aw nuts.

[proudace]

Every few months I wonder if I’m actually ace, cuz occasionally I’ll find people on tv hot, and I’ll have a small existential crisis

Eventually I’ll arrive at the conclusion I find them hot because they are not real, and I go back to normal

anybody else get so stressed trying to figure out what your metaphorical lable would be if you felt romantic or sexual attraction only to remember you're literally incapable of feeling attraction towards anyone and it literally does not matter

or is that just me

[aego-culture-is]

Aego culture is struggling to explain to your friend that even if you find your favorite character attractive, you don't actually want to fuck them/marry them/be romantic with them. Or even trying to find an explanation for yourself that you do find a character attractive but not attractive attractive (????). Like... that character is just blorbo/pookie

*

[bishiglomper]

The problem with being an Alastor-loving-ace is the fact that one absolutely does want to be respectful of his aromantic and asexuality-- there's hardly any actual confirmed canon representation anywhere so of course it must be protected at all costs, it's just so rare and this particular character has tons of qualities we all love him for.

But you also have to consider we're probably the most repressed and touch-starved of the queer demographic. I mean, some of the best fluff and smut are written by aros and aces and that's probably how we cope with the situation of not actually wanting these things but still craving the intimacy and touch and admiring the fantasy of such situations (or so says this aego-ace)

So then it comes down to which projection we want out of our fan content: the representation and understanding of our real life preferences and struggles, letting us feel seen

or the absolute horny-on-main manifestation of our inner (monster)fuckers, which we don't get to let loose anywhere else but through said beloved characters we kin and latch onto for whatever reasons

If it doesn't make us any less aro and ace to consume such content, it shouldn't make him any less of a representation even if we choose not to entirely represent him in that way. Aromanticism and asexuality are a spectrum, if we can tailor our preferences to fit our own feelings and actions, so can we of our blorbos.

What we need is to be respectful toward each other, not so much the characters.

And besides that, we'll always have canon ❤️

[phoenixwench]

Sad but true

Am I the only one that every time I get myself into new fandom I just sigh, knowing fully well that I just got next 20+ x reader, y/n, x Oc!whateverthefuck or just any form of self insert tags to blacklist?

[the-system-of-crows]

✎﹏ H3ll0 h3ll0 w3lc0me t0 0ur bl0g!! (pt: Hello hello welcome to our blog!!)

✷ We are a plural DID system with currently 56 alters/headmates!

✷ this is our sideblog away from hosts so that we can post whatever we want without messing up xir blog

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【 Collectively us! 】

꒰ ･ ｡ﾟ ✦ ･ ｡ﾟ ꒱꒰ ･ ｡ﾟ ✦ ･ ｡ﾟ ꒱꒰ ･ ｡ﾟ ✦ ･ ｡ﾟ ꒱

╰→ ✦ We are bodily an adult. (18)

╰→ ✦ We’re a Fictive heavy, Traumagenic / Stressgenic, Polypluric, Plurillean, Blurian, Chronosian, Spingenic, and Observegenic system! And have one subsystem at the moment!

╰→ ✦ We all sign off with Emojis/our names!

╰→ ✦ We have Autism, DID, ADHD, BPD, Alexithymia, Anxiety, MaDD, and Depression.

╰→ ✦ We & Host all are nonhuman and some of us are therians, don’t refer to us as human please!

╰→ ✦ we all have bird-like instincts and most of us have WINGS!!! Each of our wings and birdly instincts are different

╰→ ✦ We all collectively Identify with NO GENDER!! And collectively us He/It/Xe/Ink. ╰→ ✦ We collectively identify as Poly Bi-Oriented Aego Fictorose Aro/Ace

╰→ ✦ Orientation / Gender / Pronouns / Identity vary on the alter as we are all different. Please be respectful of an alters personal identity!

╰→ ✦ Unlike host we don’t want a DNI! We will block who we want to! However we ask that syscourse, and people who seek to cause us problems to not follow us <:3

╰→ ✦ We have Dissociative Amnesia, we will often forget things as soon as it’s been told to us so please be patient.

╰→ ✦ We all struggle to feel/understand emotion and empathy, please do not be rude about this and we’re sorry if we do anything to offend you! We won’t understand if we upset people most of the time as our alexithymia makes it hard to tell..

╰→ ✦ Some of us have typing quirks! ╰→ ✦ Some of us have bad source memories, as well as some of us really don’t want their source even mentioned.

(we will be editing this as time goes on! Aka by adding individual intros, boundaries, tag/filter tag list, pronoun.cc links, etc!!)

(Divider credits :D)

@/Sister-Lucifer for the Ink sans div

@/Saradika-Graphics for the gold/yellow divs

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

i have struggled with my identity for a while, I thought I was aro/ace at first, then I thought I was bi romantic ace. I stopped trying to label myself for a few years but then someone asked me about my identity and I said aro/ace. Realized I had a crush on my best friend, a guy, but have also joke flirted with most of my close friends. Resulted in me telling my friend I like him and he liked me back, we are now dating and I said that I was demi romantic ace, but I feel like it wasn't a full identity?

Now I realize that I'm demi-panromantic-asexual but idk if that's really valid?

Yes you’re valid anon! I myself am a romance repulsed aromantic/aego-pansexual… so I’m in the same boat!!

Stay safe anon and remember you’re always valid and it’s your box!!

[baileylockheart]

Stuck.

Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm in a weird spot. I wish that I wanted to fall in love, but I don’t truly want that. I mean, it's still the fastest way to verbalize it, but what I think I really want is just... Emotional closeness and physical but non-sexual touch. I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with someone. I want deep trust and communication and understanding without guilt or anxiety or fear of being abandoned, and I struggle to picture any of those things in a romantic way. But I've never really been close enough to my friends to see it platonically either, so I'm just stuck.

I feel the want to want someone, and I feel it strongly, but it's more like wanting a piece of a stranger’s soul and hoping they'll take mine, because I know full well I can't imagine anyone in my life that way, and I can't imagine myself being physically near anyone without feeling uncomfortable. It makes me sick to even try to picture myself in love, especially since I realized that I have never once loved a person (in that way). When I think about what I want, I can’t imagine any one person, so all I end up wanting is a stranger who, for all intents and purposes, doesn’t exist. I don’t want a perfect person by any means, that’s not what I mean when I say this. Rather, even if this person does exist, I don’t know them yet, but already knowing them is a vital part of how I picture them.

I call myself aego-demiromantic because it joins a truth and a hope. I mean, if I’m being honest, I’m probably just aego with a dash of cupio, but I'll deny it as long as I can. The truth, aego, is that I can't picture myself in anything romantic, and any attempts to make me uncomfortable, but looking at fiction and using OCs is easy. The hope, demi, is that the reason I don’t feel romantically pulled to anyone is because I haven’t met them yet, but I'll eventually meet someone and make friends with them. Actual, close friends, who are there for each other and aren’t afraid to talk to or even annoy each other. And after that, then maybe, just maybe, I might get a chance at really loving someone in the way that people mean when they say the word “love”. And maybe that's the point. I don't want to fall in love, but I want to love someone. I want someone to mean enough to me that I'm willing to actually let them see me. I want to be able to care about someone enough that I trust them to stay. I want to feel loved and fulfilled because they're in my life - not because they check boxes or because they carry out tasks, but because their presence in my life really means something.

The problem with that is, people who want to date? They want to date. From what I can see, especially in early stages, there is no hanging out at each other's houses and playing video games, there is no sitting in comfortable silence and knowing it's okay not to talk, there is no taking turns rambling about the things you’re passionate about, there is no getting to just exist together and feel good because you add to each other's lives intrinsically. People want outings, active social interaction, maybe something to brag about. And sure. Outings can be nice. But even then, from what I've observed, people aren't looking for a trip to an amusement park where you take turns picking out what to do and enjoy every minute, or going to Dave & Buster's and playing all the games as many times as you can manage, or hanging out at an empty playground while you blast music and pretend to know the names of the stars you're gazing at. No, people want an expensive dinner that you have to dress up for, maybe sex, and then a kiss goodnight as you walk away from each other because the interaction is now complete. A good morning text would be appreciated, but while no one wants to listen to long-winded rambles, everyone will be mad if you don’t text first.

I know that I’m oversimplifying this in a terrible sort of way - I’m framing romantic relationships extremely negatively, and even if I wasn’t, queerplatonic relationships exist. But the problem is that I don’t think that covers it for me. A non-romantic relationship that has a stronger bond than the best of friends? I would do anything for that, don’t get me wrong. I want that. But the non-romantic part doesn't always sit right with me. I think I want to love someone romantically - but I know that the obsessive nature of new romantic love, how quickly romantic relationships crumble, how deeply it seems to tie in with sex, the way people tie their entire identities to their romantic partner, and the way that it’s so easily exploited by everyone from said partner to their families to even the government, that I’d never be able to maintain it. I want to love someone romantically, but I can’t bear the thought of it because of all the strings that are attached to it.

Still, that seems simple enough, yes? “I want to love someone romantically, but I can’t bear the thought of it because of all the strings that are attached to it.” And yet, if you asked me five months ago, I would’ve gagged at the thought.

For as long as I can remember, I have had “crushes” from time to time, and by “crushes”, I mean hyperfixations on how people present themselves, but no deeper interest in any part of them that didn’t fit that image. Once I became aware of this, I realized that I’d never actually been romantically interested in a person before, I just didn’t know how else I could surround myself with my hyperfixation. The more I looked at love and relationships, the more I realized that I would absolutely hate being in one. The more love songs I listened to to try to counteract this, the more I felt like romantic love was damaging because clearly, if people feel this strongly, they must be so reliant on their partner that they can’t imagine existing as an individual. The general sentiment was, “why would I subject myself to this sort of mental anguish on purpose?” I couldn’t figure out why people would want to flood their brains with stress hormones and lose rational thought for someone who wouldn’t even treat them well. In my head, the relationships that worked out with all parties happy were a severe minority. Of course, if those involved were happy, I’d be ecstatic for them - it just wasn’t something I typically imagined happening. As much as I thought it was fun to pair up fictional characters, as much as I had reformed my ability to enjoy love songs, and as much I supported those around me who were happy in their relationships, I was genuinely disgusted by the idea of falling in love for myself.

That is, until about five months ago, when an argument with a parent led to the simple idea that I can’t express my thoughts on something that I haven’t experienced. That led to probably the most emotional week of my life, and the general consensus was that I’ll never be able to understand love or heartache unless I go through them firsthand. I hated that intensely. What do you mean? Are you trying to tell me I can’t empathize with my friend who’s trying to recover from a breakup? Are you saying I can’t get chills when I see someone tear up while singing about wanting to be in love again? How does that work?

Ever since then, I’ve been constantly in this loop of wanting to love someone more than anything but not wanting to touch romance in its current state with a ten foot pole. I wish it was as simple as “I want to love someone romantically, but I can’t bear the thought of it because of all the strings that are attached to it”, but the truth is that I can’t even tell if this yearning for the ability to yearn is really me, or just a fabrication borne out of spite. It hurts enough that I think it’s real, but I have no solid way to check. Do I want to want to fall in love, or am I pretending in an attempt to understand the world? I can’t tell, and that scares me.

If a stranger asked me if I want to fall in love someday and framed it as a yes or no question, I’d probably say yes. It’s the easy answer to cling to because it feels so much better and so right in comparison to just saying no, and it would also be far easier to deflect judgement that way. It seems like the default answer, right? And yet, I don’t think it’s true. I want to care about someone. I want to be close to someone. I want to love someone. Somehow, despite all of that, I feel like it would be disingenuous to claim that it’s because I want to fall in love, and even more so if I say it's because I have a lot of love to give. I have the capacity for it, I have to believe I do, but the amount of love sitting there and waiting for someone to find it is shallow at best because I don’t even know if it’s meant for a person or an idea that I made up to make myself feel better. Still, I think that how I phrased it in an old Threads comment actually explained it far more succinctly than this entire explanation of said comment ever could’ve.

“I wish I wanted to fall in love because as much as it would hurt, everything would make so much more sense that way”.

[iceicewifey]

can i just say, discovering that you're aegosexual/romantic really opened my eyes especially when i've seldom heard of the label until now and reading more had me like "hey wait this sounds like me" bc it's often hard to describe my feelings with those things being on the ace/aro spectrum?? idk i just wanna put that out there lol love what you do and your ships are so cute btw <3 (-chaosringvows)

aah i'm glad!! tbh i've struggled with finding a good way to describe my aroace experience and i so feel you there 😭 i actually had the same realization about being aego rose after seeing it on another blog and had one of those "hold up—" moments where it just felt right the more i thought about it, y'know?

honestly it gave me an answer as to why i'd rather see ocs with my f/os like,,, yes i love them but makes me almost uncomfortable to imagine myself with them? idk how to describe it but i won't ramble too much about my experience _(:3」∠)_

tysm btw !! 🥺💗

[lockesmissingkidney]

who are ur favourite characters so far? who do you not like so far?

when you write fanfic, who will it be about? who will read about? who will you not read about? is there anyone you really hate? is there anything you really want to see happen to certain characters?

essays, please

omg anon thank you I WANTED TO INFODUMP SO BAD!!!!!

okay okay I might finish s1 today, but since I'm on ep 21 of it, lets go with that:

I looove charlie, hurley and locke. I also like sawyer, but I'll talk about him in depth later. charlie and hurley remind me of bill & ted, and I love how hurley is just both close to being the most insane person in the island (after the numbers reveal) next to locke, but he's also the sanest one!! he's giving us VARIETY!! I like charlie because I've struggled with addiction myself and I do understand most of his erratic behavior (especially after he went through the worst part of abstinence), and he's just trying his best, truly

locke is....a guy? for sure? I don't know whats going on with him he's like that meme that goes "source? the voices told me" he also needs to stop adopting random people in the island I mean BOONE??? rip thot it up in heaven. also the kidney shit was FOUL locke you should have commited murder for that

an special mention to sayid and rousseau, they're great

I do not like... sawyer. it's complicated. I love him I absolutely love him he's my babygirl and my wife, but he needs to be struck by lighting QUICK so he can realize the shit going on in the island. locke should definitely give him his own 'third eye opening' moment just like charlie and boone had one, I would love for that to happen

I also don't like shannon— she's cunty and all that, but I haven't managed to connect with her character outside of sometimes saying "yeah, slay, shes on her brat summer". I hope her character development brings her somewhere where I can connect, but so far I couldn't care less about her (and the incest subplot with boone made me like her much less, I also dislike boone for it... I just think that not being blood related doesn't excuse anything. a family is not always determined by blood.)

I dislike jin but because I'm extremely confused about him. he's a big interrogation sign to me and EVERYONE, like no matter how many damn flashbacks I see of his life... why the hell where you telling your wife to cover up and shit?? you guys are in the middle of nowhere. Let your woman LIVE. the flashbacks are trying to tell me that he's acting like this 'for a reason', and sure, I understood if you were an asshole to anyone else, but to your wife? the woman you're doing this for? being all aggressive is gonna drive things nowhere. idk.

when it comes to fanfic... I'd probably love to dabble in writing jack x sawyer because I hate how the show says 'love triangle' and it's not a triangle... yeah both guys are interested in kate, but if you don't make jack and sawyer interested in eachother too, it's just a love arrow. so that's the first thing: jack x sawyer to develop that part of the triangle

second thing, probably More charlie x hurley. brotp or otp I like both ideas since they remind me of bill & ted in a way (which were gay but also totally best friends) and some wacky brotp adventures between hurley and sawyer?

third thing would be just fics of sayid being an insane super smart guy, probably working together with locke to build something. I would love for that to happen in canon? but I think right now sayid just wants locke dead, and that's sad because their joint slay would be #insane.

I've read like two fics so far, I think one was jack x sawyer and the other one was sawyer x sayid x charlie (super rare combination but I fucked with it?) I think I would read claire x charlie too, but since it's canon and stuff (to me, so far) I feel like I don't have a need to read anything to fill any void, the show gives me it all. anywayyyy, I think everyone on the island has a bit of chemistry with eachother and I'm aegoace + aegoromantic, so I'm attracted to men which means I would probably eat up any mxm pairing (poly or not) I've thought about sawyer x sayid but I feel like they would hatefuck and then forget about it. idk if that would make them worse or better

also I need locke to just share his divine madness with More People in the island I think. I need him to tell sayid about the hatch, I need him to tell jack about the statues of the virgin mary, I need jack to be struck by lighting to properly realize this island is FUCKING WEEEIRD. I need hurley to have another big badass moment with the numbers thing, I need More of hurley being the only person sawyer won't argue with (or argue too much with). I need sun and michael to become closer, for sun to maybe play with walt one day or play the babysitter role once more but speaking english with him now!! I need also more sawyer and walt interactions— hear me out, the one interaction they've had so far was hilarious. just a sassy little kid putting that asshole in his place. Please walt should be allowed to throw rocks at sawyer

Kate needs to kiss women also I need her to be a lil sapphic okay like I dont care how or with who just be a little gay please THE LESBIANS NEED YOU KATE AUSTEN!!!!

I also hope jin and shannon die too......yeah strong statements but I've said it before.... idgaf about them (so far)

also unrelated to any of the questions, but charlie n hurley have big transmasc vibes 🙂‍↕️🙏 they look like every trans guy I've ever met it's INSANE to me. jack is also a little trans coded... just a little. like he's got a smidge of transgenderism inside him. he did his own DIY top surgery idgaf. also unrelated x2 but walt would love skibidi toilet :/ I'm so sad he wasn't here in 2024 for it 💔 and locke would be an amazing cult leader he would eat that cult leading shit UP !!! I would join his cult 100%

tytyty anon for this ask!!!!!

[herbalmutt]

Ik you're talking about your stepmom rn and this is COMPLETELY off topic (my bad) but I will forget to ask this (for the 5th time) because I am actually braindead:

In your personal experience (if you are ace and/or aro mb): How would you describe sexual and/or romantic attraction feeling like? Ive always struggled understanding it because I have no idea if I personally experience either and google is so useless on that department (I wish there was a book detailing how these things are supposed to feel like so I can know or not 😭)

I am Aego, it falls on the ace spectrum. I feel sexual attraction, rather strongly actually as I’m hypersexual and have a high libido. However, despite this I have no desire whatsoever to actually have sex with another person. Basically, I’m very sexually active but independently so 😅

It’s hard to really describe sexual attraction because it’s different for everyone- but it feels very good of course. Oxytocin and dopamine flood the brain, high amounts of it so when you’re- or I guess I should say I- feel sexual attraction then it’s very overwhelming. Feeling really warm, the almost uncontrollable and involuntary urge to feel friction or any touch from someone.

It’s hard to really describe because it’s such an intense feeling that completely takes over your body, feelings, decision making and etc 🙏

For romance? I have a hard time grasping that myself. You just want to spend time with them doing things that you wouldn’t do with anyone else in the world. One on one things I’m sure.

[hey-doobnnoob]

It feels good to have a friend who can help me explore self shipping after so many years of struggling with it because I grew up in That Era of the internet and felt like I couldn't

It feels good knowing I can stick to my Aegosexual mind and also just ship representations of myself instead of me specifically, feels better that way

Idk, I'm starting to question if maybe I'm Gay-Aego-AroAce if that's even a thing

Or maybe I'm just asexual and the fact I've only ever dated shitty people has put me into a mindset of just not wanting to do that again and I feel better being with fictional characters instead

[ramtio-moved]

Hello Dr.Ratio, pleased to talk to you!

I’m wondering what was a few of the most positive changes that came into your life since you’ve met Rem?

-@aego-philautia

Hello, Aego. Thank you for asking. There’s many things, but the one that immediately comes to mind is how Rem helped me discover that I’m autistic. It was not an easy thing, and his first suggestion caused a… rift between us, if you can consider 8 years of radio silence that. But having him tell me this did change my life significantly. It was news I struggled with deeply at first, but has come to have a very positive impact on me. Looking back at my childhood now, it was glaringly obvious, but alas… Moving on. I have mentioned before, but he’s taught me things I would have never learned without him. I admit one of my major flaws is that I can be close minded at times due to being stuck in my fields of research, so Rem being an anthropologist from a planet different to my own home planet has expanded my horizons much more than I would have by myself. A similar sentiment can be said for how much he’s taught me about disability. Many of the things he’s taught me I find myself using in my day to day life. I am glad we found each other again, even if it was by coincidence. I feel I would be much different without him.

[happilylazycreator]

Oooh, look! Intro post!

Hello! Welcome to my blog. I typically refer to myself as Ms. Creator when talking about myself through characters on my ask blogs. However, please call me Velvet!

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BASIC(-ish) INFO:

- I identify as an Aegosexual and Aegoromantic. (I think the term is Aego AroAce???)

- My art typically consists of characters on plain white backgrounds, so please don't expect super high quality art here.

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FANDOMS/SPECIAL INTERESTS/HYPERFIXATIONS:

I rarely post, and my reblogs are usually based on if someone is interacting with me via post. However, I consider myself multifandom. Which ones? Depends on the day, so I can't say for certain. I gain and lose interests easily, usually these things coming in short bursts for a day or two before vanishing again. So, if you see me post something you like, don't expect to see it very often-

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ALT. ACCOUNTS:

- @the-official-cubie-ask-blog Permanently closed.

- @an-unnamed-dead-iris-au Permanently closed.

- @the-abyss-distorted-mii New! Come take a look! ...please?

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IMPORTANT-ISH LINKS:

-Wanna request some art? Put a reply/reblog onto here!:

I don't do actual commissions. Any art I make is purely for fun. If you're financially struggling, please do not ask me for help. I cannot do anything.

↑ ADDING ONTO THIS PART BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE MESSAGE ISN'T CLEAR ENOUGH

My blog is a space away from the troubles of the world. I understand that people in other countries desperately need help, however...

I AM NOT THE BLOG TO ASK. I CANNOT DONATE AND MY BLOG IS NOT A SPACE THAT WILL ALLOW SUCH ASKS. PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO PEOPLE THAT ARE ABLE TO EMPATHIZE EASIER THAN I CAN. I CARE, REALLY, I DO, BUT MY BLOG IS A SPACE FOR FANS OF CERTAIN MEDIAS. IT IS NOT FOR THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS.

Pronouns Page!:

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TAGS:

#Ms. Creator's Rants n' Rambles

-A tag for when I just wanna talk, no art typically.

#Ms. Creator's OC Blurbs n' Facts

- Typically for asks related to OCs.

#Ms. Creator's QnA

- For asks that aren't as related to OCs or AUs but I wanted to answer!

#OC: The Maiden (aka Virus)

- A tag specifically made for things about my WDY inspired character, Maiden.

#TPC OC: Fake Iris

- A tag for my Fake Iris things.

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DO NOT INTERACT(S):

- NSFW/Porn Blogs (Kink blogs, 18+ content blogs in general.)

- MAPs/Pedos (Or just anyone looking for a romantic/sexual relationship with me. I am not interested in anything more than platonic with people.)

- People who hate the LGBTQIA+ [too many phobes to list here] (whatever the correct term is now, please keep me updated)

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I will update this over time, but that's all I'll say for now! Let me know if there's anything specific I should add here!

And now, a whole bunch of user boxes:

[confused-bi-queer]

It’s always very funny to me how I’m always thinking “what if I’m not asexual, what if I’m actually a lesbian” but it’s always confusing because I love men very much but they don’t do anything to me and since my brain still can’t understand the concept of sexual attraction, I’m always questioning myself.

And then I see people making comments on how horny the are about how feral Simon is and how their body reacts to him and yeah no. I can say Simon is hot all I want but in real life he doesn’t do it for me.

(It also just seems wrong. I mean, I understand the thrill, but it’s just wrong for me to actually think of Simon suggestively for me when he’s all Baz’s.)

[aego-culture-is]

Writing as an aego is part of you wanting to put smut in your story and part of you not wanting any sex in it at all. I’m really struggling with how much detail to use for the spicy scenes in my story for this reason (because on the one hand, the spice is fun [and gay!], but on the other hand, I know what it’s like to have a book ruined for you by an unexpected sex scene that just gets way too gross and detailed—I’m one of those aegos that only wants to read smut when the mood is right. Any other time it makes me uncomfortable because of my dang sex-repulsion).

Seems pretty relatable! Writing our own smut is so niche and exciting, if you can get it written down.