#the amnesia plot

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Extra 2, Chapter 137

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

The air conditioner is working overtime and yet, I am still here craving that hot beverage.

With today's chapter I have a dirty chai with milk and sugar.

Let's go chapter 137!!!

This is so painful. San Lang is really going to make him say they slept together while Xie Lian is in crisis thinking he was assaulted. p216

Okay but it is kind of cute that Hua Cheng's people took up a custom of tying red strings to their fingers because of the their love. p217

jeeze. Seems like the entire city is in on this plot though (they are not at all). p219

My heart! "He must accompany his beloved, who has apparently fallen unwell recently." p220

The reverse gege!!! p221

"San Lang-gege, shall we go to your house now? Or later?" god. the way this 100% unlocked something in Hua Cheng. Feral as hell. p222

I wonder how many times Xie Lian has had encounters in the bath throughout these books. Add this one with e-ming and Hua Cheng to the counter! p223

oh okay. Something did this to Xie Lian, it wasn't a cnc situation with Hua Cheng doing spells or some shit. p227

This is going to be a disaster. Xie Lian has no power or memory and he's leaving to go on a sneaky solo mission p227

Gender excellence, "What's with that pretty boy?! He looks so gentle, so how is he such a brute?!" 229

oh no. The village has little Xie Lian statues of the scrap collector and Xie Lian is so confused. p231

Poor buddy just found out about his whole life from random people. p233

I weep! "In my heart, you are the only god" p238

That "...we meet again" stirred my emotions. What the fuck, I'm feeling way to much about it. p239

Okay, but good for Xie Lian for calling Hua Cheng out on his bullshit. He really did make some bad calls during those couple days. p241

Amnesia plot- Check.

I am low key glad to be out of this set of extras.

It is cute that their love is eternal and soul deep, but my god, in most amnesia plotlines that center around undying love- it get's icky. This was a bit ick for me.

[hawkinsbnbg]

Steve woke up remembering absolutely nothing besides Robin and the kids and that oddly intense, handsome man whom he was pretty sure was his boyfriend.

Though everyone else (except Eddie) kept telling him otherwise, he wasn't convinced. Steve might be a bit slow on the uptake, but he knew love when he saw it. And every fiber of him had melted when he saw Eddie Munson’s face upon opening his eyes.

There was no other reason for his heart to threaten to punch through his ribcage whenever Eddie looked at him. So yeah, boyfriend.

Dustin: He's not your boyfriend, Steven!

Steve: Are you like, homophibying me?

Dustin: Wha– I'm not homophobic! Eddie! Tell him you're not his boyfriend!

Eddie: Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not your boyfriend.

Steve: Oh.

Dustin: See? I told–

Eddie: I'm actually your husband.

Dustin: Dude.

Eddie: We've been married for ten years and these are our children.

Dustin: Dude!

Steve: Who's the mother?

Eddie: You, obviously.

Steve: Yeah, that tracks.

In the end, when Steve finally regained his memory and had another bathroom heart-to-heart with Robin, he silenced Eddie's profuse apologizing with a kiss. French style.

Steve: Will you be the father of my children?

Eddie: Hell yeah, baby.

[shutupcrime]

Some of you are too afraid to admit this but we all know Star Wars works best when it goes full soap opera

[fury161]

portraits for a de au i think about a little bit

[palamedeez-nuts]

god bless ppl reading htn/ntn for the first time lamenting "I only understand like half of what's going on." the literal viewpoint characters understand maybe 10% of what's going on at any given time, you're doing fine sweetie

[swimming-karyss]

Sabo: loneliness, connection and affection

Trying to organise my thoughts on this matter hehe

I just thought that Sabo's relationship with loneliness and connection are very interesting, and not much people talk about how terribly lonely his childhood days were(even compared to Ace&Luffy).

Ace has been alienated from people from the beginning. Raised in the middle of the jungle, by bandits who never showed much affection, and who repeated the same hurtful words as others did. The state of loneliness is the norm for him. He has never known any other life. Naturally, he'd be protective of what little he has(Sabo) and reluctant to open up and accept new connections(Luffy).

As for Luffy, he has been left alone. Shanks left him after a year staying at Windmill village. Garp constantly took him out of his regular life only to leave him alone in the jungle. And he as well took him away from the village and Makino, after he ate his devil fruit. And while he didn't have [present] parents, he had been cared for. Luffy knows the difference between loneliness and companionship. Which is why he chased Ace's recognition so much.

Sabo's situation is more similar to Luffy's.

But do you ever think that Sabo loved his parents? That he wanted them to love him too? He wouldn't have drawn them if he didn't. He wouldn't be so disheartened at their dismissal if he hated them from the start. But his parents made their love conditional. Sabo had to earn their love and his happiness, while they ignored his pain and attempts to connect. 

And as you know this kind of relationship could leave a lasting impact on how one navigates their future relationships! But on that later😊

Now, Sabo ran away and that opened a whole other can of worms. He's a child, that for five years didn't have anyone to rely on. Of course, Ace was with him, but after he left for the day, Sabo was left completely alone. I mean, at least Ace had Dadan and occasionally Makino and Garp, they shared meals together, he could turn to them in case something happened and they provided him with company and a roof above his head. Sabo lived on the Gray Terminal by himself, in a place where people considered him either a troublemaker to avoid, or a pest to get rid of (those like pirates and bandits). So through Ace and Luffy Sabo gains not only brothers but also other connections and people who care about him! And he welcomes both Dadan and Makino with a bright smile :) Now that I think about it, just like Ace told him about Luffy, he also must've told Sabo about them too🥹

And while all this is nice, his previous problems didn't go away magically. 

(… But his issues aren't stated or shown as explicitly as Ace and Luffy's, so they are easier to dismiss.)

Even though Sabo trusted Ace with his life, he still kept his origins a secret from him, whether it was because he felt them insignificant compared to Ace's or because he feared abandonment in case Ace would be disappointed. And he was more than willing to keep his secret until the very end - Luffy&Ace literally had to beat(strangle) the truth out of him. Sabo also put distance between them in another way too: Ace thought the two of them would sail together, Sabo didn't.

That is honestly also a point to how controlling his parents were. Sabo wanted freedom so much that he didn't mind the loneliness that came with it. Well, he got what he wanted ;) 

Now it would be easy to say that his amnesia also erased his trauma. But it didn't! Sabo still felt hid parents' influence. (And unlike the other weird amnesia case (the sea sure likes to take people's memories huh) - Big Mom - he didn't revert to his younger self, he only lost access to his memories, his feelings and 'character development' remained). If anything it only led to Sabo not being able to identify the cause of his issues → not being able to treat them properly. Now, the RA seem like decent guys, they very well could be the needed support system for Sabo, but again, it's an army with a whole lot of other issues to deal with. So either way his trauma most likely was allowed to fester for a while as we see its consequences show in his adulthood. 

Even though Sabo seems to be doing well as an adult, there's still some signs of emotional distance. He has never reciprocated a hug, even though he doesn't have a problem with physical touch in general, he didn't even think about approaching Luffy in Dressrosa at first and was very tense when actually talking to him. And it's honestly fascinating just how stiff his body language was in Dressrosa (maybe I'll talk about it in general some other time) - be it shock or anger he keeps his arms to his body, unlike Koala or Hack, who choose violence.

He also showed barely any reaction during Vegapunk's speech despite the panelling focusing on him specifically. I'd say he mostly keeps his negative emotions in check, bc in Robin's little flashback he was quite expressive! The main counterpoint is 'special Luff' where he is very open about his anger, but he has a really decent reason for it: his feelings being made fun of. And as you'll see later it's a very sensitive topic for him →

To begin with, he avoids talking about things that have emotionally impacted him in any way.

1.This one might be a stretch, but he begins to talk about his encounter with Fujitora, only not to say anything in the end, idk what's wrong with him; 2. After a very emotional fight with Burgess Sabo dismisses any worries without even mentioning the fight; 3. He refuses to talk with Hack about Luffy, even though we know that he loves to yap about him to Dragon. And that is right after he didn't want to wake Luffy up to even say goodbye! He also changes the topic quickly so Karasu wouldn't be able to further question him.

Even though these scenes are played as gags, he really seems to have trouble with emotional intimacy and opening up about his feelings. And that makes him seem inattentive and irresponsible, thus affecting his relationships with others even more… 

And speaking of which, he is accustomed with either suppressing his feelings or at least just keeping them in check. He hides his worries from his colleagues, appearing as cheerful as always. And during his meeting with Dragon and Iva he brushes aside his guilt and grief for king Kobra (but, I mean it's a work meeting, they need to be professional) and never once he acknowledges his injuries.

And if he's willing to disregard such a thing as grief, how do you think he really feels about his new title, which was gained by the blood of a man he failed to save?

And frankly, right now we don't know much about Sabo! We know about his childhood, and the way he presents himself now(and that is some material to work with), but the 12 years in the Revolutionary Army are a mystery, and again it's an army, I bet he's seen many things, especially considering how high his position is!

tldr: like Luffy, Sabo has a special relationship with loneliness and abandonment. But unlike Luffy, who especially in pre-ts hated separation, Sabo pushes people away. And what makes it even harder for others to connect with him, is that he tends to hide his feelings and problems.

(like a cat)

but again, I might be reading something wrong, my bad

[whirledpool]

my favorite character isn't in my favorite show so i just put him there myself

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

[RHETORIC - Legendary 14]: Convince Kim you are in a timeloop.

(ISAT side of the swap)

[coffin-ramblings]

Ashley is "very not good" and "in fact very bad". That is what the promo card tells us.

The flippant attitude to cannibalism and murder, the abuse and manipulation of Andrew, and constant death threats to Julia prove that, so why do they need to say that? Isn't that enough to prove that she's a bad person? On the same promo, we are told Andrew "exists" and is a "doormat extraordinaire", which while true, is a lot more complicated than it looks. He does not just "exists", he was the one who raised Ashley thus one of her "creators", and he is not that much of (if he ever was) a doormat extraordinaire, he lets Ashley make the choices because it's what he wants, and has asserted power several times throughout the game for his and Ashley's benefit. So is what the promo says about Ashley completely true in light of that? Is the truth perhaps a lot more complicated, as it was with Andrew?

Furthermore, it's quite odd how Ashley is quick to accept being called a "tar soul" and how she implies she's a bad person too when she and Andy buried Nina's body.

And in Decay vision, if she kills Andrew, she goes on a rant about how she's glad he's dead, despite it clearly being the worst thing she has ever experienced.

While it's easy to think that she's having a mental breakdown and saying stuff out of madness, I have seen someone (can't find the post though) argue that this is Ashley's attempt to continue her self-narrative that she is a "bad person". She believes no one likes her because she's a bad person. She thinks not even Andrew likes her, and she "has to" drag him the "good person" to be her level of the "bad person" to keep him stuck with her. And when she kills her brother, her parent, her best friend, her soulmate, her everything, she immediately jumps to the justification that she is glad that he died instead of being devastated that he tried to kill her, because bad people can't feel remorse and heartbreak from having to kill someone they love, right?

And I'm inclined to agree with them. Ashley's thought process of pranking Nina is that she'll have her back as a friend after she learns her "lesson", even though she isn't happy being constantly left out or avoided by her.

She didn't hate Nina then, she was afraid of being even more lonely than before if Nina takes Andrew's attention away from her. And her initial reactions to Nina's death was to go "oops", try to justify why she died, cover it up by burying her, and after she's buried, Ashley says that she can just forget about her by not thinking about her for a long time.

That is not the reaction of someone "bad" reveling in their victory of an innocent person's death and trying to get away with it, that is the reaction of a kid who went through something traumatic, not want to get in trouble for it, and trying to rationalize it with something that sounds like an adult in their life (Renee?) would say. Then their brain triggers dissociative amnesia because remembering it would cause great stress and PTSD. Given how stressful Leyley's life was and still is, it makes sense that's her brain's main coping method, and Nina's death was just another instance of it shunting trauma away in an attempt to keep PTSD from happening. It is likely that amnesia made Ashley quite forgetful, as dissociative amnesia does not affect just one singular event, it also affects other memories as an overprotective measure. This also may be why she develops such a flippant attitude to their crimes: joking about them helps her not have to confront the weight of what they just did. Thus, even that attitude being a marker of her being a "bad person" is more questionable. Really, her actions that have the intent to directly harm people are what her make a bad person, but I digress.

The idea that her flippant attitude is perhaps not a good marker of her being a "bad person" is best shown in Episode 1 after they eat the neighbor. Ashley is made aware that her devil-may-care attitude is quite abnormal and worrying for Andrew, which worries her. If she talks before going to bed, she gets visibly confused and worried at Andrew saying she needs to see a professional.

When he later asks how she's so unbothered by the cannibalism, she replies she says she compartmentalizes nervously, which she then follows up afterwards with a joke to not have to dwell on it.

That specific coping method of compartmentalization is the same thing Andrew's brain does in his dream in Episode 2, where it ends with him having a flashback of burying Nina.

In fact, it's interesting how we never get to see adult Ashley's every day psyche. This is not the same as seeing her thoughts and perspectives in the waking world, nor is it the same as the Burial vision where it's Ashley's self-narrative of her life from childhood to adulthood and how she potentially changes it. We never get to see her dream without it being a vision, a glimpse of what her mind looks like in the present processing her experiences in the every day and the past.

This is particularly crucial because while Nina appears while Andrew's brain is doing its standard compartmentalizing of Andrew's current stresses, the only times Nina appears in Ashley's head (outside of Burial vision) were flashbacks of when she is doing this as a child. While it's framed as the moment when Andrew "proves" his devotion to her, flashbacks similar to PTSD ones can happen alongside dissociative amnesia, and they do occur in dreams. Even though Ashley has forgotten Nina's name and eyes, she is always there, haunting her dreams.

This all suggests that the plot twist of our perceptions of the characters in episode 3 is that when we finally get to play Ashley in her normal dreams or see her mental breakdown (maybe if she kills Andrew?), we find out that she feels some sort of guilt for Nina's death and perhaps their other crimes. Even though she insists to herself she doesn't feel guilt about that because she is a "bad person", it is all a lie that she manages to convince to herself and the audience. This would be very shocking as we're in her head a lot of the time, so we'd assume she can't lie to us. But she has all along, just like how Andrew has to us.

[tantegel]

Haikyuu-bu!! LINE Stickers [1/?]

[sluttygallavich]

Galladrabbles: the luck you got

Cool prompt by @jessij1997 this week for @galladrabbles: "The Luck You Got" by The High Strung.

_________________________

“I hope you know how lucky you are, son.”

You smile tightly at the doc and flip him off the second he’s gone.

Lucky.

You’ve heard that bullshit countless times since waking up with your head tightly bandaged and no memory of who the fuck you are.

The redheaded nurse slips into your room then, eyes twinkling.

“You, Mickey Milkovich, are one lucky son of a bitch…” He gives you a wry smile that sets a fire in your belly. “Snagged you a Jell-O.”

You beam.

Blame the traumatic brain injury, but whenever Ian’s around you’re suddenly inclined to agree.

[cosmicmoonwhisperer]

What if Charlie doesn’t forget everything? What if he only loses more recent memories and retains those of the Foundation? I don’t think the show has the time to do this but. What if he reveals a lot of what really happened there with how he acts or what he says without realising it?

What if Babe learns more about what Charlie experienced and how that’s made him the way he is?? What if Alan learns more about what Jeff experienced and what caused his apprehension of getting close to people and his fear of touch?? What if Pete, with all his guilt, learns just how bad the other kids, especially the ‘not as valuable’ ones, had it and how they suffered while he’d left them behind? What if Kenta fears this would open Kim’s eyes to how undeserving he is of love and compassion, and crumble the only truly positive relationship he’s ever had?

I would be in shambles actually. maybe it’s a good thing they won’t do it

[hawkinsbnbg]

Eddie woke up remembering absolutely nothing except his uncle, the Hellfire guys, and the gorgeous Adonis who looked exactly like his husband.

Gareth: He's not your husband, dude.

Eddie: Yes, he is.

Gareth: How?? You hated him.

Eddie: I was dumb.

Gareth: Okay, how about this? He's the reason you ended up in the hospital.

Eddie: What did he do?

Gareth: He ran over you. With his 'douchebag beamer'.

Steve, in the background: I said I'm sorry!

Eddie: So I did fall for him.

Gareth: No Eddie. No.

Eddie: Yes Eddie. Absolutely.

When Eddie finally got back his memory, he was already too neck deep in the domestic bliss with Steve Harrington to call off the whole thing anymore. He still had beef with the guy, but nothing a few kisses and a bed couldn't fix. They were husbands, after all.

[coline7373]

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Extra 2, Chapter 135

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

Good morning!

These notes and this chapter were from yesterday, but I got a little bit too sleepy to draft the post before bed, so here it is.

Yesterday I snuck some reading time in with a lavender and lemongrass tea (probably why I was about to nap).

It was cozy and delicious.

Let's get into the anticipated chapter 135!

Oh sweet man. Baby boy is mentally in the past? "-his waist was sore, his legs were sore, his lower belly was sore, and his neck was sore." p183

oh no! LOL, "During the period he'd been unconscious, someone had taken his virginity" p184

Hua Cheng is probably a mess right now. Xie Lian just disappeared from the building; no message, no note, nothing. p185

What's with MXTX and tree punching? We got this in MDZS (I can't remember if we got it in SVSSS) and even if it only happened twice- still wild it happened at all. p186

You know what, it might be a blessing Feng Xin and Mu Qing were among the first to find Xie Lian like this. I think Hua Cheng would be heartbroken. p189

RIP. Xie Lian is a runner! I should have known based on his entire past trauma that he would immediately run away, and fast. p190

My heart! Even with no memory of Hua Cheng Xie Lian's soul intrinsically knows he needs him :'3 p191

This is kind of distressing, but still also very cute. Even with no memory Xie Lian see's Hua Cheng across the way and is like, damn, that man, very beautiful, very important. p196

I'm so excited for part two

I'm a little distressed for Xie Lian going through all of this, but omg it's kind of cute for him and Hua Cheng to meet like this. I just hope it does not get rough LOL especially when he realizes who "took his virginity".

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Randomly remembering this one plot for a ROTTMNT: UNPAUSED comic where Donnie got brain damage and forgot everything and it was so funny --

Specifically there was this one scene where the guys were arguing about what to do and didn't notice that Donnie walked out of the lab

And then they hear this scream of "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT" and run out to see Donnie jumped onto a shelf like a cat and is pointing at Splinter like "YOU GUYS HAVE A GIANT RAT INFESTATION"

"oh hey Dad"

*waves at them* "Boys. Why is purple acting weird?"

"THAT'S YOUR DAD?!"

"He's your Dad too, Dee..."

"HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?! I'M A TURTLE, HE'S A RODENT! WHAT, WAS MY MOM PART ALLIGATOR OR SOMETHING?!"

And this moment never fails to crack me up

(Alt. Donnie expression)