#the amount of mistakes i had to fix with this one smh

[miibrawlerfeet]

daily quick drawings (day 9)

theyre lovecore coloured omg

[sefusneezed]

What was Kat's upbringing like (with having three dads)

Ermm TECHNICALLY one dad and two uncles 🤓🤓🤓🤓

UHHHH probably not the typical admech upbringing experience. She didn't have any like, tiger parent stuff. But its honestly not any typical upbringing experience in general lmfao Von Kuronar is nuts.

She's an orphan and adopted RIP but she doesn't remember her birth parents because she was literally an infant when Von Kuronar took her in. Like five months old. This guy who claims he's ALL logic NO emotion went out and adopted a baby just to spite the ecclesiarchy who was calling her blessed by the Emperor when it was his skitarii blessed by the OMNISSIAH who found her. Then he comes back to the rest of the gang ranting about the hardships of being a single father and Kalanis and Mordekai are just confused as hell.

Problem is this guy had no idea what he was doing. A SUPER old archmagos who's not only disconnected and out of touch, but also unhinged and strange in general to begin with. He's literally the worst guy you could pick for parenting. Dude yells way too much at everyone, he had to get his vocal chords augmented so they can handle the amount of yelling he does. He just seems angry all the time. Literally everything he says can be taken negatively. And he just Cannot Relate to stupid biological child problems so he has no idea what to do when she comes crying over random kid stuff and he ends up saying and doing the stupidest most braindead stuff you can imagine to try and "fix" it. I mean, dude tried his best. He read as many parenting books as possible. Let's her get away with everything (literally bans her from the biologis labs and then conveniently "forgets" the next day) And he spoils tf outta her. So then you get this weird disconnected dynamic that's literally just based off miscommunication where he loves her as his own and thinks her not wanting to be around him is just "grr my dad is old and NOT cool" but then actually she's just scared of him and every interaction is awkward as hell. He will not admit any fault though he did nothing wrong he is the best dad. UHH MORE INFO She was homeschooled. She was so bad at basic admech stuff that she would not has survived in any kinda schola and it got too expensive to keep bribing them. She does not vibe with the machine spirits and tbh didn't have much interest in them anyway. But its ok she makes up for it by being a biologis savant. Literally ten years old and doing open heart surgery sticking augmentations on people messing with clone vats. It's so weird she is so bad at machinery unless that machinery has SOMETHING to do with biology, and then she's a genius. So Kuronar just let her focus on that because mechanics was just painful for everyone involved when she did that. Unfortunately UHH she also had no friends. Literally none besides like, SUPER old people and servitors because like she just simply didn't know anyone else. She was so lonely she harassed anyone who made the mistake of giving her attention RIP to all of Kalanis' offworld diplomat guests.

In general umm it wasn't really good but it wasn't bad either?? I mean, its kind of shit but in the context of 40k childhoods she was soooo lucky. Didn't even have the typical admech rigid structures and schedules and whatever smh smh they just let her do whatever she wanted. Sucks for her though because she's still a big nerd who made HERSELF study biologis stuff and now everyone must suffer for it when the latest Kat Beast escapes containment. They should have just left her with the ecclesiarchy and made them deal with her.

[puhpandas]

I still see fans use the glamrocks dismantlings against greg! which is crazy cuz the game makes us do it and we’re never faced with an alternative ever. It’s not like greg was presented with a faz wrench, realized he could reboot the bots, then turn around and said nahh. He had maybe 3-4 hours left on the clock and I doubt any kid could make a plan to reboot 3 violent robots while also worrying about vanny within that amount of time

Their dismantlings, while sad in ruin, feels like a cheap attempt at glamrock angst when the glamrock angst should’ve been focused on how FE treats/neglects their robots. Why are we blaming the child over the greed/carelessness of men that put him, and everyone else, in that situation? Sotm better pull through and show how evil big corporations are so fans can parallel it with FE smh

YEAH I've actually never really thought about that second part. I think that's actually why I was so miffed by it in ruin and it didnt hit, and I love the glamrocks so it really should have!! it felt too cheap and thrown in, like there wasnt any buildup. and jtop literally SAID in the john interview that they put in chicas rebeakening as fan service to be able to feel that satisfaction at fixing her. he pretty blatantly either said or implied idk which but pretty sure it's the former that it was so you could fix what Gregory had done, which is. kind of strange

I understand it from an outside player perspective, bc it's like everybody felt bad breaking them, but I feel like this wasnt the way to go about it, especially because Gregory himself was not even involved when they were being fixed. theres nothing about the actual situation being expanded upon, just one part being put back into place by the "kind" child to fix what the "other" child had done

I think that's why I was miffed by cassie and roxys relationship too and it didnt hit like Gregory and freddys. it felt so sanitized, like, the whole point of roxy is that she isnt at all what a perfect character for the brand would be like and shes insecure and mean and lashes out, but then as soon as cassie finds her under the forklift shes suddenly back to being a soulless entertainer robot that's nothing but kind? her voice acting LITERALLY turns robotic!! it's like her entire personality was stripped away for her to be more likeable, even if that wasnt the intention, and it just didnt make it feel genuine

that's what it feels like with 'fixing' chica too. theres no real genuineness to it, it's just slapping a bandaid on it and not talking about what really matters about the situation. PLUS in the process it just paints Gregory who's already in an atrocious light from another event from the exact same game in an even worse light, especially with how jtop implied it in the interview that he was the "bad" to Cassies "good".

it feels like less to actually make you care or think about chica being sentient trapped in this building and broken and STILL under the virus and just. heres a bandaid, hope you guys feel better about (gregory) breaking them! isnt cassie a sweetheart for doing this? (theres an unlike unsaid there)

no hate to cassie or anything /gen. I have zero problem with her, it's just how it all as a whole was handled. this feels like a mistake theyve been making a lot recently with focusing on the wrong things. not focusing on the sentient Fazbear ent characters and how they each dont fit into their boxes for one reason or another and instead just the "look roxy and cassie are friends and shes back to acting like her animatronic performer self and now you as the player get to experience satisfaction but nothing about the situation actually changes". it's like this with mimic too, where they keep focusing on the boring mortal parts of mimic of it just being an old ass rusty robot instead of the glitchtrap AI virus parts of it, which are the actual dangerous scary parts that make it feel powerful and hard to beat in any capacity

ur so right about the Fazbear ent stuff not being focused on enough, especially since it's one of the most prominent amazing storylines in sb!! Bonnie in ruin should have served that, but it didn't, it just added more kindle to the fire in our own minds to make the story better. they didnt actually talk about the implications of bonnie being there and dead and phased out but it's there. the implication is good enough I guess, but it's just another thing about how it could have been expanded upon. like cassie could have had a little dialogue putting it into perspective like "omg he was here the whole time? it looked like someone killed him! it's so unfair that they just phased him out like that :(" or something then boom, makes the player think about it

ur so right about all the things u said in ur ask about the "glamrock angst" instead of focusing on the actual sad parts of their story that are AMAZING. especially since they're framing them being broken as the most terrible worst thing to ever happen to them and the ONLY bad thing when it was done by Gregory and not the mistreatment and abuse from Fazbear ent that made Freddy abandon the place (bc of bonnie) which was done BY the company. its framing Gregory as being the bad one twice in the same game when he didnt need another player while Fazbear ent, who is already the culprit of the glamrocks story that isnt expanded upon enough, isnt emphasized so players only focus on Gregory breaking them as being their worst fates

[jar-of-ectoplasm]

Confessing to La Squadra

a/n: look i know i already have some Risotto confessing headcanons but those are more about him confessing so i'm including him here anyway

Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst (but no rejection), these hoes don't know what love is lol

~Risotto Nero~

-Seriously thought you were joking when you pulled him aside and told him how you felt

-He was convinced Formaggio had put you up to this or something

-Ris feels like he isn't deserving of love (BUT HE IS) and he's literally so bad at expressing himself so he just nodded and walked away

-Had a breakdown in his office because why the fuck did he just walk away?? after you poured your heart out to him???? jesus christ what if you think he doesn't like you???????

-So he gets up and fucking sprints to your room to try to fix his mistakes

-Frantically tells you that he likes you back and would love to go out with you sometimes (you can barely understand it because he's talking so fast)

~Prosciutto~

-Saw this coming from a mile away but he won't be a bitch about it don't worry

-Takes your confession with an overwhelming amount of grace and gives you a time and place to meet him for a date the next day

-As soon as you leave he's jumping around and giggling like a child because oh my fucking god his crush likes him back holy shit!!!

-He'll panic about what he's supposed to wear. Should he just wear his regular suit? No, no no this is a special occasion! Pinstripes or no pattern? What tie would go best with this shirt? He needs to pick a suit with your favorite color, you'll like him more, right?

-Eventually caves and has Risotto pick something out for him because he literally can't (indecisive queen)

~Pesci~

-He is so INSECURE OH MY GOD

-Like Risotto, he thinks you're just fucking with him. He honest to god doesn't believe you could fall in love with someone like him

-He gets too nervous and freezes up then runs to find Prosciutto because he has no idea what to do

-Prosciutto basically screams at him to go back and find you. He can't just leave you all alone after telling him something like that!

-So he does go back and stutters out the softest "i like you too" in the world

-He'll take you for a picnic on the beach right after because he wants to make up for just leaving you standing there after he ran

~Illuso~

-BITCH MOTHERFUCKER

-He already knew because he eavesdropped on your conversation with Melone about how you should confess to him

-Sure he likes you back but he wanted you to come to him so he didn't seem desperate or something

-Teases you about it because he can't socialize for shit and probably ends up making you upset because he won't shut his god damn mouth

-So when you just walk away incredibly frustrated and probably a little teary eyed he realizes he fucked up bad

-Goes into the mirror world to scream because why can't he just be a normal person and not a little bastard

-Pops into your room from the mirror and gives you the quietest apology you've ever heard then hugs you because he feels really bad

~Formaggio~

-Another member of the team that thinks you're joking. Not because he's insecure, he's actually very confident in himself, but he jokingly flirts with you all the time so he thought you were finally playing along

-But you're not and you like him for real which makes him SO FUCKING HAPPY

-He knew he was gonna fall in love with you the day you joined the team and he's been daydreaming about your guys' first date since you went on your first mission with him

-Might be the most well prepared member of the team if I'm being honest

-He has a whole speech about how much he loves you and all the things he wants to do together and he already knows a guy that can legally marry you two

-He's so soft for you

~Ghiaccio~

-You told him how you felt when you guys were cornered during a mission and could die in literal seconds

-So when that didn't happen and you two made it out alive with the target killed, he tried to ignore your words ringing in his head

-But god damn the car ride back to Napoli was a long one and all Ghiaccio can do is think after you fell asleep in the passenger seat

-He couldn't tell if you just said you loved him because you guys were about to die or if you actually felt that way. But what if you loved him like family instead of like a boyfriend?

-And so Ghiaccio pulled over and woke you up. It was bothering him too much, he needed an answer now

-When you clarified that yes, you did love him romantically, he hugged you so hard your ribs almost broke

-mans was worrying for nothing smh

~Melone~

-He flirts with you all the time but...you actually caught feelings for him? Like genuine "I love you" feelings? Not lust? Melone seriously can't remember the last time someone actually enjoyed his presence outside of the bedroom so much that they wanted to be with him

-Mel started bawling his eyes out. Like, full on sobbing on his knees in front of you

-You thought you had done something wrong so you started apologizing which made him cry even harder (he thought you were apologizing because it was a joke)

-After he got himself back together he shakily asked you if you really meant it (which you obviously did) and after you gave him a positive answer he started crying again

-He won't let go of you for the rest of the day. He's just so happy someone finally loves him (FUCK that's sad)

~Sorbet and Gelato~

-It's a damn good thing you liked both of them. Gelato might've killed you if you only like Sorbet and Sorbet would've laughed in your face if you only liked Gelato

-So you avoided getting your face cut off but what the fuck are you supposed to do about confessing? You didn't want to become a homewrecker, it was quite obvious Sorbet and Gelato were perfectly content with nobody else in their relationship

-So you never said anything about it to anybody. God only knows what Illuso would've done if he heard you saying anything about it and the rest of the team would've let it slip eventually

-But Sorbet and Gelato always have a way of finding things out for themselves

-You were already close to the couple so when the smaller blonde man walked up to asking to see you for a second you thought nothing of it

-Until you were seated in front of them and Sorbet had broken the silence with "We know about your little secret"

-Honestly you thought you were about to die. How did they even find out? You were sure you hadn't said or done anything to hint at your feelings for them

-Gelato broke the silence this time. "Honestly, we're quite flattered both of us caught your attention."

-That didn't help ease you at all but when the both of them spoke in unison, "But don't worry about it too much, you've caught our interest as well."

-So now their murder duo is a murder trio, have fun :)

[endowarrior877]

Endometriosis in the eyes of the beholder.

What is it really like living with endometriosis, a chronic illness? I'm sure the question comes up from time to time, not! Still unless you're living with a chronic illness it's hard to image some of the things us spoonies go through behind closed doors. I've even heard some folks say people with chronic illnesses have it so easy because we can't work and just sit watching crappy day time tele festering away being supported by our government. No, living with a chronic illness isn't a life long holiday whilst being supported by benefits. Instead it's a constant fight and one that costs me in time, money, energy, blood, sweat, tears and pain. It's a constant fight to have a relatively pain free life and a constant fight to not have to take several different medications several times a day. It's the constant fight to be there for appointments and then have to sit and listen to a doctor tell you that "your hot water bottle is the best thing for you, and you just need to get used to the pain and learn how to cope". Yes I was told that today at my appointment for the pain clinic. Smh. It's the constant fight of letting family, friends and sometimes your self down when you've had to cancel yet another plan. It's having to drag your partner away from his brothers wedding because the pain is now to much and i need to go home.

That particular pain and sickness flare would last a constant 72 hours and was probably the only time i could ever say I've felt like I've really had a mental break down. I eventually went to the hospital after the third day of constant pain and throwing up, then got sent home 'by accident' because there wasn't much they could do. Only to go home jump back into bed feeling so weak I was even hallucinating then comes a police van with 1 female officer turning up at my house to pick me up and take me back to the hospital immediately because my blood work came back very bad and my kidneys were shutting down as a result of being so ill the last 3 days. The hospital couldn't get in contact with me directly and as it was literally a matter of life or death they had to get the police to find me. Scary stuff right! I had to be readmitted and kept on a drip constantly for a few days because of how sick I got. It was mortifying and I felt like people were staring as I was being escorted back in to the ER with a police officer. It must have looked like I was some kind of criminal. I wasn't though, just very very sick. It was very scary and one of the most painful flares I've ever had and what made things worse was how scared I was to go to the hospital in the first place because normally they just say there isn't anything they can do and send me home. Another problem people with chronic illnesses have to deal with is having to persuade some doctors that there is something really wrong and you're not just there for a score of drugs or that you're not just being a big baby because of your period. At that point the strongest thing in pain relief being given to me was dihydrocodeine and that didn't do anything for the pain and would just add to the sickness because i would be taking the maximum dose to try and get some relief. During those 3 days of being in constant level 9-10 pain i honestly wished I was dead so many times as the hours passed and the pain stayed. Nothing helped and the pain just roared. It was so upsetting, it was brutal. I didn't sleep for being in so much pain and I was exhausted by the time I went to hospital. It felt like world war 3 was happening in my womb and outer areas. I couldn't eat or drink either which resulted in me being so ill and being so dehydrated and malnourished.

Yup, being chronically ill is not as glamorous as we'd all like it to be and you certainly learn some new life skills when the bomb is dropped and life sticks a label on you that won't go away. In reality being chronically ill and more specifically having endometriosis means that for me, I have to plan carefully even the smallest of trips. I need to take into account my medications and anything else that comes in handy during a flare. It means that I have to carry a boiling hot water bottle around even when I'm out running errands or taking the kids to the park. Being chronically ill means saying no to my favorite foods because somewhere along it's journey from my mouth to the other end it causes some kind of sickness wave or pain attack. Having endometriosis is saying no to getting intimate with the love of my life because the pain is unreal and I can't afford to be so sore the next day. I can't keep calling hubby back from work. Canceling social events and family gatherings are a constant happening and making sure if I am away from the house over night I have access to a bath incase I have a bad flare is a stupid embarrassing must. Its choosing to not even have that one drink no matter what the occasion is because the consequences are not worth it. It's a constant battle of fighting different emotions and feelings; some days are okay and some days are the worst, there isn't many good days and even less great days. It's having to get used to a new body affected by not being able to eat, marked with heat rashes and scars from surgeries. Trying to stay positive when everything around you is sore and hurting is not an easy task. People have referred to endometriosis pains as similar to having a baby, gallbladder stones, kidney stones and appendicitis. I haven't personally suffered anything apart from child birth but I can safely say the pains are sometimes actually worse than labour.

In today's world people with invisible chronic illnesses are not taken seriously by people that we really need to be on our side. We need the support of all doctors and not just top endometriosis specialists that we have to travel hundreds or thousands of miles to see. Unfortunately endometriosis is still treated with methods that were used a 100 years ago. How many other diseases and illnesses are still being treated without of date methods? Not very many. It's one of the only diseases that hasn't moved on with the times. If we had access to better more appropriate care then i bet your bottom dollar you'd see a lot less a&e visits from people with endometriosis too. It's not enough that this disease causes the most debilitating pain a human could ever experience whilst bleeding for god knows how long, but having half the world not really understand what endometriosis really does to a woman and then when we do try and seek professional help because we are so desperate it just feels like a hopeless fight where we are told it's in our head or try bandaid treatment. That's the full package with endometriosis and unless you're rich with a private jet able to pay top dollar to see someone super skilled and fast, there is at the moment a long wait to access care which is resulting in many woman like myself being left in daily debilitating pain.

For anyone newly diagnosed with endometriosis I kind of think my advice would be get ready to fight. Get ready to fight and get yourself educated. Learn about this condition inside out, the good and bad for everything. Your knowledge will save you many unnecessary treatments and will help you search out a surgeon that will be able to help you over time. Remember this is never going to be an overnight fix no matter how skilled your surgeon is. Endometriosis requires the most knowledgeable of doctors and there needs to be more of these people in our local hospitals where everyone can access them and there is more focus on surgical treatments instead of bandaid hormone treatments. There needs to be more awareness all around the world which I think is slowly starting to happen. Aside from all the actual physical symptoms we feel typical to having endo there is a lot more to just having this disease and it's not just about really sore periods. I'm still a firm believer that endometriosis can be treated brilliantly by laparoscopic procedure alone but the key is to finding that magic surgeon. Endometriosis doesn't grow back so it makes sense that removing the 'bad bits' will take away the pain. I'm part of a very good endometriosis resource Facebook page and the amount of woman who are pain free after 1-2 surgeries max is incredible and it gives me so much hope and just because of who they chose to handle their care. I unknowingly made the mistake of moving to the middle of nowhere and then learned about this list of top endometriosis specialists and now the closest to me is the U.K or Germany. Bad timing on my part! I have a good feeling about a Dutch specialist I was recommended to by my FIL's friend who had very bad endometriosis. Funnily enough she started out with the specialist I've just been seeing and had the same issues so asked for a second opinion with a different specialist and agreed to do surgery and found lots. They removed it all and now she's living a great life so I would like to see this doctor and speak with her before i make any rash decisions to rush to Germany in the near future. If she is as good as I hope then maybe she could be added to the list and help others find a good specialist. After asking for a second opinion of my recent MRI results I've asked to be referred to this other Dutch specialist and that should be the ball rolling again and some kind of pain free life will be more realistic. I'm staying positive and hopeful about this one but we will see in due course as ever. This will be my 3rd specialist so hopefully the saying third time lucky will come into play!

#endometriosis #endo #chronicillness #invisibleillness #spoonie #chronicpain #girltalk #periods #treatment #laparoscopy #hormones #hysterectomy #dailylife #routine #blog #personalspace #pain #everyday #thirdtimelucky #beatthis #staystrong #fight #carryon #survive #question #awareness #raiseawareness #love #endowarrior #hope #painfree

[seak1ng]

Echoes Spoilers big time

Some thoughts in no particular order

rolling my god damn eyes at Mathilda taking a back seat to support her husband in the epilogue? Like no that’s kinda how they actually worded it??? Mathilda was the only paladin-type unit I actually took to end game she was a hundred times better than Clive smh

I talked about this before but wrt Leon: I’m glad he was explicitly mlm but he’s still got some things making me go :/  Like he needs to be a little more well-rounded, as is he’s just the archer that’s always talking about how he loves men (and specifically Valbar.) I think a few more support conversations that didn’t revolve around Valbar would have fixed that right up.  And the epilogue is a big bummer, I just hate seeing the trope of a gay person pining for their straight friend and being unable to move on from it. LET HIM BE HAPPY AND FULFILLED IN HIS LOVE LIFE YOU COWARDS. leon’s progress but he ain’t a home run

With this being a faithful remake, the narrative suffers a bit from age. Chosen One narratives and killing gods were all the rage in the 90s era rpgs but aren’t that compelling modernly. Not much that coulda been done about it tho since they chose to stay very faithful to Gaiden

I really hope the rewind feature makes it to new games because it allowed me to play hard mode without frustration. That said I only had one time where I used up all of my rewinds. Like you want to have consequences for mistakes in Hard Mode, but also having to reset a lot is not fun, so I think having a limited amount of rewinds was the perfect compromise. The rewinds allowed me to experiment with strategies without sacrificing a ton of time. 

more thoughts after my work shift