#the beauty of the world is that you're all allowed to be as delusional as you want

[54625]

Morning crew discourse in fandom is so fucking funny .

"Morning crew are a family!! Fathers and their son!" (They constantly make dirty jokes towards each other/ make sexual innuendos about eachother, are generally very inappropriate and weird about eachother)

"Morning crew are a relationship! They're all in love!" (They have called each other family on countless occasions, Fit called himself an older cousin/uncle figure towards Tubbo, says Tubbo reminds him of Ramón and acted like he was a stand-in Ramón while he was missing, Ramón calls Tubbo his brother)

remind me to introduce yall to this crazy concept called a friendship

[jungkookschin]

older part 3

think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders

synopsis: your friends say you're delusional for thinking you have a chance with jungkook, your parents' friends' son, but you just can't seem to let him go.

alternatively, you break jungkook's heart and jungkook enlists in the army to get over you--- but he can't just fuck off from your life forever; your lives are infinitely intertwined

word count: 21k

pairing: older!jk x afab reader

genre: age gap au (seven years), childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes, there is a mention of jungkook shooting someone lol, non explicit smut, mentions of sex

OLDER MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

When it comes to you, Jungkook’s window of tolerance extends towards the sun and the stars, to Jupiter and Saturn, if you will. For you, he’ll willingly undertake deeds he won’t even entertain for anyone else. 

Anything for you. Whenever and wherever. 

He will, in fact, swoop in and rescue you from a 2AM party (like the Prince Charming he is), even if it means disrupting his beauty sleep because as much as likes your friends, he doesn’t trust them to take you home safely, especially when alcohol is involved. Scratch that, he doesn’t really trust anybody to take you home besides himself. Even with work the next day, the appeal of sleep drowns when you’re drunkenly texting him from some frat mansion at who knows where. 

Approximately 10% of his biweekly earnings are devoted to you, his princess. He would never utter these sentiments aloud, yet he embraces them willingly, indulging in gestures of affection reserved solely for you.

He’s not afraid to wipe your tears, stick his fingers into your nose, or to touch any bodily fluid (given that it comes from you),  because it’s you and his being simply isn’t capable of conjuring feelings of disgust when it’s you. 

He sees you and he loves you, but a man can only take so much. 

“What?” you ask quietly, breathless, like the wind’s been knocked from your lungs. 

Jungkook exhales deeply, straightening his posture as he runs his hands across his face. “Y/N. Get out of my apartment. I’m serious.”

You think that this is the first time in the history of the world Jungkook has straight up told you to leave. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” Jungkook repeats, “What do you mean, why? You ignored me for four months straight. Thanks for spending the night, but you need to leave.”

Jungkook, just a man though he may be, is simply incapable to resist when you show up at his doorstep in the dead of the night- and even if he welcomes you into his home for the last time, he simply isn’t able to welcome you back into his heart. How could he willingly allow you to reclaim his heart’s residence after he’s worked so hard to expel you from its throne? 

Your blatant disregard for his presence spoke volumes; you didn’t care for him nor did you respect him. Jungkook isn’t going to fold simply because he finds you beautiful and perfect and amazing and everything he’s ever wanted. 

“So that’s all I am to you? A quick fuck?”

All the empathy he harbors disperses from his being like a passing breeze, ephemeral and elusive. Evidently, you’ve crossed the line. 

Jungkook blinks at you, his expression unreadable, while you inwardly recoil, immediately regretting your words. Jungkook won’t even entertain the notion. He knows you know how much you mean to him, and quite frankly, he’s appalled that you’re blatantly weaponizing something as pure as his love. 

“Y/N, I’m not going to see my family in a year, and you came to my place and made it all about yourself. You need to go,” Jungkook’s voice is firm and low, and he looks right at you, disappointment reflected in his pupils. 

“I didn’t mean to make it about myself. I just wanted to see you,” You try so desperately hard to rationalize, but he’s right; you weren’t thinking about him, you were thinking about yourself. 

“And by doing that, you made it about yourself-” Jungkook rubs his face with his palms, “Y/N. I don’t want to fight. Just go home.”

He hears a gentle sniffle escape you, and it elicits a heavy sigh from Jungkook. It's like a tug at his heartstrings, but he’s already beyond frustrated, and at this point, he wants to be alone. 

“Jungkook, I-I love you,” you whisper, “I’m sorry. If I’m better by the time you come back, will you give me a chance?”

As you raise your head, tears cascading down your cheeks, Jungkook's heart clenches at the sight. Jungkook hates seeing you cry, and it makes his heart physically ache, but there will be no appeal to his emotions. 

“Y/N- I mean- did you think I was gonna wait forever? You can’t treat a man like that and expect them to wait around forever.”

“But we had sex,” you counter, “The way you fucked me- I know you still love me- so please. I’ll be better. I’ll be better for you. Please,” you beg. 

Jungkook exhales softly, leaning into the support of the wall behind him. He remains stoic, neither affirming nor refuting your observation. He offers no gesture of consolation, no attempt to dry your tears. 

“Go home.”

If he doesn't want you there, then you’ll leave. Clumsily, you stand up from the bed, picking your clothes up from the ground before haphazardly slipping into them, leaving yourself vulnerable under Jungkook’s gaze. 

He doesn’t walk you out. 

You open the door and slam it closed before he can let another word out. 

-

Jungkook has always been a constant presence in your life, like the warmth of the sun on a chilly morning.

He’s very aware of the image you have of him in your cute little head, and he does everything he can to fulfill that image for you. He’s well aware of your little prince charming fantasies revolving around him, and truly, truly does everything to be your Prince Charming. 

He’ll indulge you, always- to the extent where Mingyu and Taehyung constantly throw the term “sugar daddy” around- and of course Jungkook will roll his eyes, but he won’t deny it. 

Jungkook has dropped thousands on you. He’s a single man in his 20’s with way too much money, anyways. So what was he supposed to do? Let all his money sit in his 401K to ensure that he’s financially secure for retirement (🙄) or buy you an unnecessarily expensive designer dress and observe how your face lights up?

Obviously, he’ll choose the latter. 

Simultaneously, that doesn’t mean you don’t make him feel the same way. This is so corny, but you’re kind of like the rainbow after a storm, bringing color back to his otherworldly, gloomy world.  

Jungkook’s not perfect. Despite what you think, he’s far from perfect. 

About half a year ago, he thought he hit rock bottom. And when he hit rock bottom, all he needed was you to remedy his mood.

There was an issue at work where he was accused of leaking confidential information to a competitor. The accusations were baseless, but the damage to his reputation was significant. It felt like his entire world was crumbling around him. He faced scrutiny from his colleagues and doubt from his superiors. 

After an excruciating meeting with the company lawyers, he drove back to his mom’s place- his mood as dark as the night enveloping his luxury car. All he wanted was his mommy. He was a 25 year old grown ass man, but all he wanted was his mommy. 

As he bursts through the front doors, the familiar scent of his mother's cooking greets his nostrils, wrapping him in a sense of comfort and the feeling of home. He heads towards the kitchen, until he walks into something… 

You yelp, rubbing your hand over your forehead. 

“Oh shit,” Jungkook mumbles, “My bad, baby. Didn’t see you” Jungkook says apologetically, placing his hands on your shoulders to stabilize you. His eyes glaze over your frame, and he smiles. 

You’re in boyshorts and a tank top. Typically of you to treat his parents’ place like it was your own; you’re family anyways. 

Jungkook whizzes past you, setting his work backpack on the kitchen counter. You follow him back into the kitchen, attending to the steak being grilled on the stovetop. You whirl around to face him, a mischievous smile spreading across your lips. 

“You look… handsome,” you finally say. 

Jungkook stares incredulously at you before he bursts into a smile at your anticss. “Oh really? You like me in business formal?” You clasp your palms behind your back and shift your weight between your ankles. “Maybe?” you sheepishly respond, in your typical girlish nature. 

Jungkook bites back a laugh, looking at you smugly. “Where’s mom?” 

You shrug, “She’s probably with her second boyfriend,” you teasingly muse, lips pouted out before you turn around to perceive his reaction. 

Jungkook scoffs at you amusedly before standing up to walk towards you. You smile sheepishly at him, not backing down when he practically towers over you. He pinches your cheek affectionately. “You’re cute, baby,” he jokes, and it makes your heart clench- not in a good way- because he means you’re cute… like a literal infant baby or a puppy, not a woman. 

“Did my mom call you over?” he asks, rummaging through the fridge. 

You nod, “Mm-hmm. She said she had to go run some errands so she wanted me to make you dinner,” you motion towards the steak sizzling in its pan. “Rare, just how you like it! Ta-da!”

He gazes at you with an affectionate smile. “Thanks. Did you drive here or do I need to drop you off?”

You make a pssh sound with your lips, dismissing the notion with a wave,  “I’ve been driving for like two years,” you state matter-a-factly, throwing up a gyaru sign because why not, “I can drive home just fine.”

“Alright, yea,” Jungkook acquiesces, putting his hands up, “You’re all grown up- I get it, I get it.”

“Good,” you respond, plating his steak before handing it to him, “But Jungkook, why are you back home? You usually don’t come home on work nights.”

Jungkook settles at the dining table, before he looks at you and sighs. You tilt your head, very cognizant of his body language. You’re in love with him, of course you can read all his nonverbal cues. 

“Just some shit at work,” he explains, “Has me stressed out of my mind.”

You pout, approaching him before you wrap and arm around his shoulder. The moment feels oddly intimate- like he’s returned to his two-story, middle-class home to his wife cooking up a home-made dinner, her touch everything he needs to bring him down from a stressful day at work. He swears he can even hear the kids crying from upstairs. 

“Wanna talk about it?” you beckon with your sweet voice. 

“Just been accused of some shit,” he mumbles, “Some illegal shit,” he adds, and you rest your head on his shoulder, making him freeze slightly and his chest tighten. 

“Don’t worry,” you sweetly comfort, “The truth will always be revealed, and you’ll be cleared eventually. And besides, you’re young, rich, and hot. As long as you know who you are, you don’t need to worry about others.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow slightly before he relaxes his expression. What a juvenile, yet straightforward outlook on life. So simple, yet so… brilliant?

Jungkook knows that you’re more than capable of understanding the complex intricacies of the professional world, but he finds solace in its simplicity as a counterbalance to his excruciating overthinking. 

He sighs blissfully, turning towards you. “Give me a hug, baby. I need a hug.”

You nod sweetly and wrap your arms around him. “Of course. Call me any time if you want a hug.”

-

You coming on to him the night before enlistment was his last opportunity to indulge in you, and he’s only just a man-  a weak, weak man, so it’s simply in his nature to succumb to your allure. 

Jungkook is now bald, devoid of any hair. Gone with his hair is his sense of confidence. Staring   at his reflection, he runs a hand over his bald head, his mood becoming despondent. 

One hour ago, you slammed his front door, scurrying down the stairs with tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungkook doesn’t like seeing you cry; he hates seeing you cry- but it’s time to let go and live.

The most daunting aspect of dating with an age-gap is the maturity discrepancy. Like two ships sailing different seas, Jungkook has sailed through weathered storms while your sail catches the wind of youthful possibility. 

This discrepancy manifests through communication styles, lifestyle choices, and most importantly, love languages. 

You would never, ever do anything to hurt him purposely- but you did.

Nonetheless, what was Jungkook supposed to expect? Undeniably, he loves you with everything in him but was he supposed to expect you to handle things with the maturity of someone his age?

He should’ve known, and for that, he feels dumb. 

Feels dumb and like an idiot because you used to cartwheel in his room trying to get his attention. Feels dumb because when you were 11, he was already 18– like, what the fuck is that age gap? 

What was he supposed to expect? You lost both of your parents at the same time when you were 20 years old. You’re traumatized, you’re young, and he kinda feels like he took advantage of your juvenile feelings for him- but no, a love like his is pure, and he wants nothing but the best for you, which is why he’s going to let go. 

The wind from a slightly ajar window brushes, spreading the hair around the floor and suddenly glitter comes to mind. 

Glitter. Sparkles. Fairy Dust. 

When you were a senior in high school, Jungkook bought you a prom dress. Your bum ass boyfriend (or situationship- he doesn’t know. He wants to burn the memory of all men who you’ve been with before him) didn’t even want to go to prom with you, and Jungkook, as the great “mom’s friend’s son” he was, offered to buy you a dress- no budget. 

-

Jungkook dropped by your place to drop off some sticky rice, as instructed by his mother; he was a good and obedient son. He knew your parents were at Zumba, so he sent you a quick text in advance. You always responded to his texts immediately, promptly, instantly, right away, and without delay. 

You can only imagine Jungkook’s apprehension when it’s been thirty minutes and you still haven’t come to the door. 

Normally, Jungkook would have been annoyed to wait this long for you, but he’s actually concerned– because what if you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere? Okay, maybe he shouldn’t go to such extremes, but you were undeniably a gorgeous girl, recently 18, and he knew that so many men had their eyes on you. 

Not him, though. He was a gentleman. 

Jungkook swings open the door of his car, swiftly walking towards your front door. On cue, the outer door swings open, and you’re standing apprehensively, struggling to unlock the screen door because the fucking lock always gets jammed. The lock just won’t budge and after a good second of trying, you bang your fist against the door, yelling a very non-intimidating “Fuck!”

Jungkook smiles, “Twist the door knob, then try the lock,” he gently instructs. You oblige, and the screen door swings open. 

“I’ll come back tomorrow to fix that,” he adds before walking towards your kitchen to place the sticky rice into the fridge. 

“Thanks,” you mumble, taking a seat at the dining table. 

Jungkook glances back at you from the fridge, “Why’d you cry?”

The question is asked with a subtle casualty, and that makes you want to actually go curl into a ditch and die. 

To Jungkook, it was painfully obvious. He’s known you since forever and has all your mannerisms ingrained into his mind like a tattoo. Usually, when you wake up, you’re quite lethargic, stumbling around with your eyes half cracked open- but right now, you’re cognizant as ever. 

Furthermore, when you cry, your eyes usually swell up- more so than the average person. After you cry, it’s like your eyes turned into little, red, puffy balls with slits for seeing.  And Jungkook had eyes, superb vision, actually, and he could clearly see that your eyes were in fact, swollen. 

“t’s nothing,” you mumble, “It’s stupid.”

Jungkook purses his lips, contemplating whether he should push further. Your big mouth keeps going before he can get a word out. 

“Well, if I tell you, promise not to judge me?” you ask, sticking out your pinky finger. 

Jungkook locks the promise in. “Never,” he breathes. 

“Well… it’s just… you know…”

Jungkook raises a brow. 

“I just… I hate my boobs.”

Jungkook blinks at you, and you blink at him. 

“You said you weren’t going to judge me!” 

Jungkook is absolutely flabbergasted. “I just- wait-” he pauses, putting his hands up, “What’s wrong with your boobs? They look normal to me.”

Your features contort into petulance, and you pout. Immediately, you rise, wiping the dust off your shorts before you divulge into the full story. Jungkook can only sit there and listen. 

 “Okay, listen. Let me start from the beginning,” you start, pacing around, “So I ordered two prom dresses,” you explain, making a peace sign with your hands. 

“And they looked so good on the models, but they look horrible on me! Because my boobs are so small and my body looks imbalanced! So I cried about it. I just wanted to feel pretty…. Do you think my parents will be mad at me if I get my tits done?”

Jungkook blinks at you. At the time, he hadn’t a clue of how to respond, but oh how he grew to love your boobs. In fact, he currently wishes that they were swinging in his face. 

“Y/N, don’t get a boob job,” is the first thing he says. 

What else could he say? He couldn’t tell you that he thinks your body is perfect, or that you’d look stunning in any dress you wear- he did not want to creep you out. “Lemme see you try the dresses,” he offers, “You’re probably in your head- it can’t be that bad.”

“I’m 18,” you counter, “It’s completely legal for me to get a boob job. I don’t even want D’s! I think I would be okay with B’s. In fact, all I need to do is sell a couple feet pictures and I’d have enough to finance my boob job-”

“Y/N. Just try on the dress.”

“Fine,” you huff, puffing up the stairs. 

A few moments later, you reappear, and Jungkook almost chokes on his own saliva. The dress you're wearing captures his attention entirely.  Its fabric shimmers under the kitchen light, a juxtaposition against the bland interior, cascading in gentle folds as it hugs your curves delicately. With each step, the skirt sways gently, whispering secrets of a night yet to unfold.

Gorgeous. Stunning. Most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, and he recalls the pang of guilt that washed over him, because you’re seven years younger, and it feels wrong, incongruous. 

Fortunately for him, Jungkook is great at hiding his emotions, so even a slightly suspicious clearing of the throat does nothing to phase you. 

You pause, blinking at him, and he blinks back at you. 

“I told you it was bad!-”

“Wait, no. Stop. It’s not bad…” Jungkook offers. 

You blink at each other again. 

“Oh, you fucking liar!” you scoff.

“What?” Jungkook retorts, features morphing into confusion, “Why would I lie? I always just say whatever I want to say.“

You groan, plopping onto the dining room table with your arms crossed. “You don’t know anything about prom dresses,” you mutter. 

This marked the first time Jungkook perceived you as a woman. He spent a year suppressing it all because of the guilt, but it became inevitable. It bubbled up and exploded; he couldn’t contain it anymore. 

“Well…” he started, every so carefully pulling his wallet from his pocket, using two fingers to take out his credit card, “Would it make you feel better if I bought you another one? One more suitable for… flatter chests?”

You gasped like you’d never breathed air before, jumping to your feet, “Really? Would you really do that?!”

Jungkook shrugged casually, did everything to mask his thunderous heartbeat banging in his chest, “Yea, why not? I have money.”

At that, you squealed, jumping on both feet before you absolutely enveloped him in a hug. 

Still staring at his reflection, Jungkook returns to Earth. You’re so childish and dumb, but he can’t help that he’s deeply enamored with you, and because of that, he’s going to go to the military and pretend like he never existed in the first place.  

-

In the first few weeks at the military, Jungkook finds the distance more excruciating than he had when you ignored him. He enlisted in the first place to get his mind off you, to learn to live without you, but you’re the only person on his mind. 

It certainly doesn’t help that he’s carrying a locket bearing your image, but he can’t bring himself to throw it out. He doesn’t even know why he has it in the first place, or why he had it custom made; he feels obsessive but whenever Jungkook’s on his last lap, his last pushup, or his last pullup, you’re the thought to propel him forward. 

The military barracks are cold, dusty, and lonely. Sometimes, he can’t sleep, and on those restless nights, he finds himself reaching for the locket. Staring at the image of you smiling back at him, it’s like a tangible reminder of something he can’t quite explain. 

He holds the locket in his hand, tracing the edges with its fingertips. He remembers your touch, your warmth, the way your hand fits perfectly in his.

True loser behavior. 

You ignored him for fucking months, didn’t care how he was doing, or if he were laying dead in a ditch, yet he still loves you, still clings onto you. If he didn’t enlist, he probably would’ve ran back to you the moment you showed up at his place. 

If anything, you’re not the type of girl who should be in a locket. You’re immature, childish, and rude, but he holds the locket close to his heart, because quite frankly, he hears how the men in the military speak about women, and he would never ever subject you to that. 

Some guys hang up cute pictures and polaroids of their girlfriends on the bunks, which would almost immediately be thrown into the trash because of the insane comments from the (obviously single) guys. 

Jungkook deems running as the most arduous drill in boot camp. 

Jungkook can do three or five miles easily, but twelve miles with gear on? Absolutely not. What makes it worse is when the other guys try to make small talk- wasn’t running excruciating enough?

Even on the eighth mile, Jungkook clutches the locket tightly in his grasp. The sensation burning in his abs is borderline excruciating, and he opens the locket to glimpse at your image 

James, the absolute deviant of the 8th squad, approaches Jungkook from the rear. “Who’s that, Jeon?” James asks. 

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut; this is the last thing he wanted. He says nothing, slightly accelerating in speed.

As James draws nearer, his tone dripping with mockery, Jungkook's muscles tense with apprehension. 

"Come on, Jeon, spill it," James prods, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Who's the lucky lady in the locket?"

Jungkook's jaw clenches, his grip on the locket tightening. He knows the implications of revealing your identity in this environment, where vulnerability is exploited and secrets are ammunition.

"Just keep running," Jungkook retorts, his voice strained with suppressed frustration. Running 12 miles with 50 pounds of gear was already hell, why was he trying to pick a fight? 

But James persists, matching Jungkook's stride with unsettling ease. "Oh, come on, Jeon, don't be shy," he taunts, edging closer. "Is she the reason you're always off in your own world during training?"

A surge of anger pulses through Jungkook's veins, his resolve fraying under James's relentless scrutiny. He fights to keep his emotions in check, knowing that any sign of weakness could be exploited.

With a steely gaze, Jungkook halts abruptly, turning to face James with a glare. "Back off, James," he warns, his voice laced with a dangerous edge, before he returns to his usual stride. 

James's grin widens, sensing Jungkook's vulnerability. "Someone’s sensitive,” James teases, “Scared your girl’s with the mailman right now?”

Jungkook’s features harden, and he continues onto the ninth mile. His feet ache, and the mud is starting to seep into his socks. Jungkook opens his mouth to say something, but he’s cut off by Wooseok, who comes to his defense. 

Wooseok bumps shoulder with James from behind. “Chill, James. He’s got her in a locket. Better not mess with that.”

-

Jungkook hates to admit it, but James got to his head. 

Jungkook knows he’s the one who let you go, and that there’s no winning in this situation, but he’s selfish and the thought of you with another man makes him physically ill. Had it been any other girl, he would immediately lose interest the moment he discovered she was messing around with others- but the thought of you with someone else physically hurts. 

He doesn’t have much access to his phone, and there’s nothing to take his mind off it. 

There’s that taboo story about men in the military getting cheated on. It's a tale as old as time. 

The fear of infidelity hangs over these soldiers constantly- but you’re not even his girlfriend. 

So if you were to move on, there wouldn’t be a thing wrong with that. 

Isn’t that what he wanted? For you to find happiness with someone your own age? Someone you would love, not just be infatuated with. 

But fuck, why does it makes his heart swell? The thought of another man seeing you, feeling you, and touching you the way he has, the way he should be, makes him ill. 

-

You know you said you were going to change, and you’re really, really trying. It’s been one month since your last encounter with Jungkook and you think things are taking an upward trajectory. 

For one, you’ve started your internship with the local bank, and you’re making a lot of money (to your standards), definitely not a lot to someone like Jungkook, but it’s good enough for you. Since summer hit, you’ve retaken some of the classes you failed, and your GPA has now returned to the 3.0 range. 

However, that doesn’t mean that your obsession with Jungkook has dwindled in the slightest. You’re childish in a sense, and you’re kind of taking advantage of your relationship with his parents to see what he’s up to at all times. 

You’re snooping over Jungkook’s mother’s shoulder like the nosy girl you are, and you scandalously gasp at Jungkook’s text. 

“Haha yea, Y/N looks pretty” is probably the most disingenuous thing he’s ever said about you.   

Like sure, whatever, he’s calling you pretty but he’s only saying it because his mom asked him whether he thinks you’re pretty in the first place. 

Your eyes continue skimming down the phone and you see something that makes your jaw drop to your ass

Jungkook’s mother shuts her phone off and squeals. “Oh Y/N! I can’t wait for Jungkookie to get married! I want grandbabies already, she pouts. 

It’s like a punch to the gut. The thought of another girl walking down the aisle to marry Jungkook makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you so jealous you can’t fathom it. It's a visceral reaction, a knot tightening in your stomach as jealousy courses through your veins, clouding your thoughts and stirring emotions you never knew existed.

Every detail of the imagined scene plays out in your mind like a cruel movie reel, tormenting you with the painful reality of what could be. 

With a forced smile, you manage to utter, "That's great, Mrs. Jeon. I'm sure Jungkook will make a wonderful husband one day."

-

Jungkook’s friends, in fact, do not hate you.

Actually, they’re quite nice and understanding of the situation at hand. Maybe it’s the fact that you shoved meat down their throats before explaining how you actually felt, or because you were somewhat valid in your decision to not acknowledge Jungkook’s existence for four months. 

“He’s probably not mad at you,” Mingyu reasons, toying with the hem of his beanie before shoving a piece of beef into his mouth, “I don’t think he has the capacity to be angry at-”

Taehyung furrows his brows and Mingyu continues his sentiment, “at Y/N,” Mingyu clarifies, “He’d never be mad at Y/N.”

You sigh, using your chopsticks to flip some meat over, “He kicked me out of his apartment,” you express. 

“No,” Taehyung contests, “You chose to move out, didn’t you?”

You chew on your lip apprehensively, suddenly finding the need to rake your fingers through your hair, “Yea, but I spent the night before he enlisted and he kicked me out in the morning.”

Taehyung pauses, exchanging glances with Mingyu. “By spend the night, you mean…?”

“Yes, I mean,” you confirm, “I just don’t want him to hate me. I know I fucked up, but I would never do anything to hurt him on purpose. I mean- not to use it as an excuse- but my parents’ suddenly died in a fucking car accident? Am I supposed to be normal after that? I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just couldn’t at the time, and I’m not sure if I can, at all.”

Mingyu purses his lips, “I just think he- you know- was super heartbroken. Y/N, Jungkook really loves you, and by love I mean that you’re probably the only girl he will ever love. He probably just needed time to process everything too,” he says gently, reaching out to give your hand a brotherly squeeze. 

“You made him cry,” Taehyung asserts, and you pause. 

“Seriously?”

Taehyung’s lips form into a straight line and he shrugs, “You made him cry. Showed up at my place in the middle of the night drunk and in tears over you.”

At that, you sink into the leather seat. Cry? You’ve known Jungkook since you were born and you’ve never seen him cry before. 

You bang your head against the table- a little too hard- and you yelp in pain , clutching your forehead. Mingyu immediately whisks closer to you, gently removing your hand and scrutinizing the mark on your forehead. 

You’re suddenly reminded of something Soobin said to you a couple weeks ago. Something about Jungkook’s friends are just as brotherly as Jungkook, always going the extra mile to take care of you, and suddenly you feel bad. 

You groan, “Guys I’m sorry. I didn’t intend for things to get so messy. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this- but I really care about Jungkook, I really do.”

Taehyung’s grumpy face finally relaxes, “We know you do, Y/N. No one is mad at you- trust me. But you have to make up your mind: do you want him or not? You can’t be wishy washy about this- Jungkook’s a lot older than you. He can’t waste his whole life waiting on you-”

“I want him,” you immediately declare, “I want him, and I’m ready to give everything to show that I love him.”

Mingyu smiles at you, “Well tell him that, not us.”

Your cheeks turn slightly pink. “Yea. I might.”

The rest of the night continues with ease. Mingyu and Taehyung ask you about school, give you professional advice for the future, and at the end of the night you reach over the table to give your card to the waitress, but Taehyung physically holds you back, and Mingyu gives his card to the waiter. 

You’re truly so loved.

-

Things change and people change. 

The first time Jungkook gets leave from the military is for the memorial service for your parents. 

You’ve put the memorial service off for about a year. As their only daughter and remaining heir of your parents, the decision of when and where to hold the memorial service rested solely with you. 

Yet, you just couldn’t bring yourself to go through with it, especially with Jungkook in the military. 

Like the blossoming of spring, a year has passed, and at 21, you've graduated college, content yet eager for new beginnings.

When Jungkook's mother called you, brimming with excitement, inviting you to join in picking him up from the enlistment site, you couldn't find it in your heart to decline. Even when Jungkook kicked you from his apartment, you and he both knew that you couldn’t just fuck off from his life entirely. 

Since birth, Jungkook has always been there. His parents, who are practically your aunt and uncle, have nurtured and cared for you since forever. You've shared in every significant milestone of his life, from graduations and birthdays, and when he gets married, you know you’ll be there, even if it tears you apart. 

Your lives would be forever intertwined.  

Had you changed since that night at his apartment? Kinda? Not really.  

You've moved out from the mansion shared with friends to your own space. With a “lucrative” five-figure job, late-night parties and raves are a thing of the past. You’re all for early morning runs and late night reading. 

With the anticipation of seeing Jungkook for the first time since that day, you find yourself more fixated on your outfit than you’ve ever been in your life. More so than prom, more so than Coachella, and more so than graduation. 

Jungkook has only ever seen you in hoodies and sweats, a crop top and ripped jeans, or the occasional mini bodycon dress- you don’t think he’s ever seen you in business casual. You wear a chic satin blouse with jeans and closed toed heels. 

Jungkook’s parents don’t really like to drive, so of course, you’re driving Jungkook’s Mercedes, (he so carefully left in the care of his parents), to the enlistment sight, which you’re sure he’ll be absolutely thrilled to see. He never let you drive his car out of the parking lot. 

As you slide into the driver’s seat of the car, a wave of anxiety washes over you. This is the first time you would see him in an entire year- the longest you’ve been apart. What would he look like? Does he still have feelings for you? Is he still upset with you? Has he completely forgotten about you? 

With a soft click, the engine hums to life, and you follow the GPS through the streets towards the enlistment sight. Jungkook’s parents sit in the back, occasionally passing you trail mix and bananas. 

You pull up to the enlistment sight, waiting anxiously with your arms crossed amongst the crowds of people. 

Jungkook emerges from the crowd in his military uniform, and your heart swells with pride and sorrow. He looks so handsome. He looks bigger, stronger, more rugged. You’ve seen celebrities and models in person before and they could never compare.  You step to the side as he greets his parents, and when he turns his head, he locks eyes with you. 

It’s like the world stops revolving. 

It’s been a year since you’ve seen him and he never ever fails to make you feel this way. He’s made you feel this way since you were 15 and the feeling never dissipated, only amplified.  

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you swallow. 

Jungkook doesn’t look at you in any type of way. His eyes scan over you and he sends you a genuine smile. “Hey Y/N,” he offers, opening his arms for a hug. You hug him from the side, reciprocating his polite smile. “Hi Jungkook. You look nice.”

“You look pretty,” he offers before turning towards his parents and casually taking the keys from your hand. 

“Should we go now?”

Jungkook drives all the way home, with you in the passenger seat. You don’t say much. You find yourself simply listening as Jungkook shares with his parents what life in the military is like.

It was expected from everyone that Jungkook would do well in the army. When he was 15 years old, a personal trainer told him that he’d bulk up in muscle from just lifting a spoon. 

After reaching home,  Jungkook’s parents suggest you show him around your new place, and neither of you really have a choice but to oblige. 

The moment Jungkook’s parents are dropped off at his place, an awkward silence absolutely encapsulates the inside of that Mercedes. You don’t say anything; you just lean your head on the window, looking outside the city where you and Jungkook have been for your entire life. 

Jungkook says nothing either, tapping his fingers against the drivers’ wheel. 

Finally, he speaks up. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to your graduation.”

“It’s fine,” you mumble in response, “You’re busy.”

“Yea.”

More silence overwhelms the car. 

“So what did you do with your parents’ house?” he asks, flickering his eyes towards you. You push yourself further against the seat. 

“AirBnb,” is all you can conjure. 

Your parents were loaded and left you with a plethora of assets. The house, for one, is your second stream of income. You locked off yours and your parents’ room, and cleaned up the rest of the house for it to be rented out.

“Smart,” he offers. 

“Thanks.”

He hums in response, tapping his fingers against the wheel. Instinctively, his hands reach towards the radio, turning the Bluetooth on, which of course is already connected to your phone. 

Everytime by Ariana Grande blares through the radio, making you temporarily freeze. 

I get weak and fall like a teenager

Why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you?

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

Why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you? 

I go back to you, back to you, back to you

Back to you, back to you, back to you

I go back to you, back to you, back to you, every time

You’ve had enough. You turn the radio off and roll the window down, your head peeking through from the outside while you let the wind blow against your face. 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything either, just continues following the GPS to your apartment. 

-

After what seems like forever, he eventually reaches the security gate. "4832," you mention, prompting him to enter the number and which opens the security gate.

“It’s good you live in a gated community,” he comments, “it’s safer that way.”

“Yea,” you agree, not really sure what else 

You and Jungkook take the elevator to your place, and you punch the code in before letting Jungkook in. 

Jungkook thinks your place is so you. It smells sweet, like vanilla. There’s a white, fluffy couch in front of the TV with stacks of Rilakkuma plushies. Your kitchen is clean, well organized; he sees a heart shaped bowl in the middle of the dining room table. Framed photos adorn the shelves: some of you with your parents, your friends, and one with him and his family from Jungkook’s college graduation. 

You rub your palms on your jeans. “So, what do you think?”

“Nice,” he responds, “I’m proud of you.”

You purse your lips and nod. “Thanks… I have a room prepared for you– but is there anything you want to do tonight? Mingyu and Tae can come over, if you’d like.”

Jungkook toys with his lower lip before he tilts his head. It slightly bothers him that his friends have been over at yours, and that you mention it so casually- but of course, he doesn’t mention it. 

“No, it’s cool,” he responds, “You look tired. You had to drive a while to get me,” he offers. 

“No, no,” you shake your head, “It’s fine. Not a big deal…. You look strong.”

Jungkook smiles, “Yea. Military drills and stuff,” he rests a hand on the kitchen counter and leans against it. 

His eyes flicker towards you, looking you up and down. You gulp.

“I missed you,” you finally say, “... and I bought you something.”

Jungkook raises a brow, watching you daintily step into your room to pull out a small black box. You hand it to him, and he delicately opens it. A golden chain. 

“I don’t know,” you murmur, “I see lots of military guys wearing chains and I thought you’d like one too,” you offer, shifting your weight between your ankles. 

“Thanks,” Jungkook says, “Probably the first time you’ve ever gotten me a gift,” he jokes, to which you playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll wear it when I get back to camp.”

You nod, rising on your tippy toes a bit. “And I’m sorry. For last time… y’know.”

Jungkook's expression crumbles. He licks his lips, “It’s okay. I should have been more understanding. You were going through a lot,” he whispers. 

You nod. “I know. But I should have communicated more so I’m sorry. Just so you  know, I’m still…” 

What should you say? I’m still in love with you? I still think about you every day? I’m nothing without you?

Jungkook’s features soften, and you bite your lip. 

"I'm still... here," you murmur, the words carrying the weight of your emotions as you struggle to articulate the depth of your feelings.

Jungkook's expression softens, a gentle understanding dawning in his eyes as he nods in acknowledgment. “I’ll always be here too,” is all he says. 

Again, silence overwhelms the room.

 “Right… well, my head hurts a little so I’m going to lie down for a bit. Wake me up if you need anything.”

Jungkook tilts his head, approaching you before he presses the back of his palm against your forehead. “You’re burning up,” he murmurs, and you swat his hand away. 

“It’s fine. Just nervous about tomorrow,” you murmur. 

“I’ll call Yeonjun.”

-

You didn’t expect him to offer to take care of you, cater to your every whim. You really didn’t. 

However, straight-up leaving a moment later most definitely caught you off guard. Deep down, you had hoped for a gesture of consideration, like offering to pick up medicine from Walgreens or Walmart, or something. 

In that instant, memories flood back of how he cared for you after your parents died. He was so attentive, so sweet. He home cooked you breakfast, meal prepped lunch, and ordered you take out in the evening. You were so out of it, too weak to even function and Jungkook catered to everything you needed.

It’s almost ironic that he zoomed from your apartment the moment he discovered you were ill. You shrug. There's no need to dwell on it or feel upset. It was odd that his parents suggested he spend the night with you. He should be with his parents anyways. 

Even though you prepared a room for him, Jungkook goes back to his parents that night, and Yeonjun to yours. 

Yeonjun is one of your best friends in the entire world, really, so you’re sorry that you’re treating him like this. 

“Yeonjun, if we’re both single at 30, wanna get married?” You plead from the couch, your head resting on the arm and your feet dangling above the backseat. 

Yeonjun graces you with the most disgusted look you’ve ever seen in your life. Yet, he still drapes a blanket over your frame, placing a wet cloth on your forehead. He doesn’t even entertain the notion. 

“Maybe go back to Sunghoon. He’d seem desperate enough to give you another chance,” Yeonjun murmurs, resting on the opposing side of the couch with his arms crossed. 

You pout, before bursting into laughter. You roll from the couch and land on the floor with a thud. Yeonjun joins you, sitting criss-cross applesauce across from you. He wipes a stray hair from your cheek, a cup of Buldak seemingly materializing in his hands. Seriously. Where’d he get that from?

“Y/N, that man does not want you,” Yeonjun states matter-a-factly, his demeanor solemn, a juxtaposition to the goofy red sauce stained around his lips. 

And you can’t believe it, but you actually find it in you to giggle at that. Teetering back and forth from where you’re sitting, you sputter out a clumsy “Seems like I’m getting deja vu. How many times in your life have you told me that?”

“Millions,” Yeonjun shrugs, stuffing his face with ramen. 

“But you were wrong,” you muse, “I did have a chance with him. He said he was in love with me.”

“Yea,” Yeonjun agrees, before tilting his head, “but you fumbled.”

“I fumbled,” you concur.

“You traumatized that man. He does not want your musty ass,” Yeonjun teases, flicking your forehead with his vacant hand. 

“He does not want my musty ass,” you concur once again, a teasing smile spreading across your lips, before bursting into a fit of giggles. 

Observing you, Yeonjun cracks a smile. “I’m glad you’re not being a crybaby about it anymore,” he comments, “FIrst loves are first loves,” he shrugs, “They say your second love is actually your true first love because they make you realize you weren’t actually in love with your first love.”

“Maybe,” you add, staring up at the ceiling fan swirling in circles and circles and circles- and it makes you dizzy. You squeeze your eyes shut. “Who would that even be?,” you ponder aloud, “Sunghoon is cute, but he doesn’t like me anymore.”

“Well, you can ask them, because I invited them over,” Yeonjun adds, suddenly locking eyes with you. You take a moment to process what he just said. 

“What?-”

On cue, the doorbell rings, and Yeonjuns stands up, waltzing to get the door like he’s the owner of the damn apartment. 

You scramble to your feet as Yeonjun swings open the door with a swish. 

Heeseung and Sunghoon flood in, a teddy bear in Heeseung’s hands and a pot in Sunghoon’s. 

Heeseung looks you up and down, sticking the teddy bear in your face. “Heard you were sick,” he says plainly, soliciting you to just blink at him. 

Sunghoon scoffs from the side, “Yea Heeseung, just go add it to the stack of a hundred plushies she already has,” motioning towards your living room that indeed has a stack of Sanrio and Rilakkuma plushies in the corner. 

You snort, snatching the teddy bear from his grimy little fingers. “Thanks… asshole.”

Sunghoon rummages through the fridge, placing his little pot in and taking a box of apple juice out. “I brought you dumpling soup. Just put it on the stove when you’re ready,” he instructs. 

Heeseung joins Yeonjun in the living room, letting out a low whistle. “You have a pretty nice place, Y/N. Don’t miss living with us at all?”

You huff, stomping over towards Heeseung before pointing your finger in his face. “You slept with someone in my room!” you accuse, “No, I do not miss living with you!”

Heeseung puts his hands up, “Hey, I already apologized! That was in the past. I’m a born-again virgin now,” he continues. 

You blink, exchanging a glance with Yeonjun before returning your gaze to Heeseung. The words leave you speechless, leaving you with nothing to say in response.

Nonetheless, you bend down to give him a hug, maneuvering to lie down on his thigh while you stare at the ceiling. “I have a fever guys,” you mumble, “Can’t have our entire university here bothering me and shit,” you joke, swatting their air like the boys are a bunch of pesky flies. 

“Please,” Heeseung teases, “You’ll start crying the moment we leave.”

“Maybe,” slips from your mouth, and you run your hands over your face. 

“What happened with Jungkook?” Sunghoon adds, a cup of Buldak ramen somehow also materializing in his hands. These boys are really raiding your ramen stash. 

“Y/N fumbled,” Yeonjun answers for you, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone. 

Heeseung puts a hand on your forehead. “Holy shit Y/N! You really are burning up… are fevers contagious?”

“How gentlemanly of you,” you murmur. 

“Wait, let me feel,” Sunghoon intervenes, pressing one hand against your forehead and the other against his. He gauges it for a moment. At that moment, you do recall that Sunghoon’s dad is a doctor, and he might have some magical prognosis for the situation at hand. 

“Yea, you have a fever,” Sunghoon confirms. 

You and Heeseung roll your eyes in unison. 

“But what happened with Jungkook?” Sunghoon questions, settling back into his spot on the floor. 

“I fumbled,” you respond, using Yeonjun’s words exactly. “But it’s fine. It’s whatever. I have a memorial service to worry about tomorrow,” you mutter. 

At that, a solemn silence washes over the room. It doesn’t make you feel any type of way. You wouldn’t know what to say to a girl who lost both of her parents either. 

“You also fumbled Sunghoon,” Heeseung jokes, immediately easing the atmosphere and eliciting an Oh c’mon from Sunghoon and laughter from you and Yeonjun. 

Genuinely, you found that funny. 

You feel complete and content. 

-

Throughout the night, the three boys took turns tending to you, diligently replacing the ice pack on your forehead. It was crucial for your fever to break, knowing that the following day was your parents’ memorial service (the reason why Jungkook is even back in town). Yeonjun, Heeseung, and Sunghoon ran home to change into proper attire, promising you that they’d get back to you as soon as possible. 

Drifting in, adorned in a long black skirt and a matching blouse, a black ribbon delicately tied into your hair in a half-up, half-down style, you arrive at the memorial service site several hours ahead of schedule- to grant yourself the necessary time for mental preparation and to ensure the arrangements have been made. 

Sitting alone in the parking lot, the floodgates of your own emotions explode, and you drown in your own feelings. Since Jungkook's enlistment, you've buried yourself in work- barely finding time to arrange everything for the upcoming service. 

You realize you haven’t even taken a moment to process how you truly feel about everything. 

You’re only 21 years old. This fucking sucks. 

You ache for the warmth of your parents' embrace, desperately missing the solace only your mother could provide. In moments like these,  you find yourself longing for her gentle hug, her soothing words, and her infinite love. 

You feel tears well in your waterline, and you immediately wipe them with your sleeve. 

You had to be strong for your parents. 

They never liked seeing you cry, always told you to be strong.

With a deep inhale, you swing open the door and stride into the memorial service center, ready to attend to the necessary preparations.

The moment you step into the building, your eyes lock onto Jungkook. 

Adorned in a somber black suit with his hands tucked into his pockets, he paces anxiously, his presence immediately drawing your attention.

This isn’t the time; it really isn’t, but he’s perfect. He’s so handsome, even without his hair, even when he doesn’t talk to you, even when you don’t see him. 

When he senses your presence, he immediately turns towards you. 

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook. Thanks for being here,” you say, pulling him in for another side hug. 

“Yea, of course,” he mumbles, “You feeling better?” 

You nod, “Yea ‘m good. My fever broke…  did the guy say anything?” ou inquire, swiftly diverting the conversation. 

Jungkook appears slightly taken aback, but he responds, "Yeah. Good. They have everything set up. They just need the portrait of Auntie and Uncle."

Dangling your keys in front of him, you continue, "They're in the trunk. Can you get them? I have to- I have to use the restroom." Jungkook studies your face for a moment before nodding in understanding. "Yeah, totally."

"Thanks," you mumble before darting into the restroom.

Obviously, you’re on the verge of tears and he could palpably feel and see that. Once inside the stall, the floodgates burst open. The despondency of everything absolutely devours you and you feel so pitiful, so sad that you’re in this situation, and that your parents are gone– forever.

 Your parents are gone. You think Jungkook is gone. You have nobody. You’re alone. The family that you grew up with… it would never be the same. 

After a moment of letting your emotions flow, you take a deep breath and wipe your eyes. You had anticipated this moment, knowing that you would inevitably end up crying like a little baby, so you had opted for a bare face today.

You leave the restroom, hanging your head, and when you look up, you lock eyes with Jungkook. 

With furrowed brows, his eyes sweep over your puffy ones, noticing the glossy scleras and the tears welling up once again. Staring at him, you feel pathetic, and you let out a quiet sob before burying your face into your hands. 

And suddenly, you feel him. 

Like the comfort of the gentle breeze on a Spring day, Jungkook envelops you with his strong arms, and suddenly everything’s okay. He holds you and it’s reminiscent of all the times he’s cared for you, doted on you, and expressed his love for you. He soothingly runs his hand up and down your back, pressing you against the wall and away from the eyes of bystanders. 

You remain still, sniffling and drying your eyes, overwhelmed before pulling away. Jungkook runs a hand over your hair, eyes glazing over your face. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t need to. 

The way he looks at you is enough. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. 

The beauty of your relationship with Jungkook is that in itself. It would be alright. Everything would be alright so long as he’s there- even just as a friend. 

To love someone is to love from afar. To love someone is to love without reciprocation. You love Jungkook and he loves you. Some people are so filled with hatred and resentment- the ability to even love after all you’ve been through is astounding in itself.

Your love for Jungkook is a powerful thing.  It would carry you far, and to simply possess the ability to love is far more significant than being in a relationship with him. 

“Y/N!” On cue, Yeonjun makes his appearance in the lobby, tilting his head when he sees you and Jungkook standing closely together by the hallway. 

Jungkook motions towards Yeonjun, and you nod, not before you stand on your tiptoes to give him another hug– not a side hug, but a real hug. “Thank you,” you whisper against his neck before you skip towards Yeonjun and your other friends. 

-

The memorial service begins and ends with reverence. 

Surrounded by your family and friends, you begin to feel overwhelmed by your sense of community. 

The service room is reminiscent of that of a church. You sit on the front row, Yeonjun on one side and Yunjin on the other. Both of them are holding each of your hands as you listen to your maternal aunt tell stories of your parents from their youth.

Through her words, you get a glimpse of your parents in their youth– just two kids stupid in love, youthful, lively, and brimming with aspirations. It gives you peace that they were able to live their dreams out before they died- one of those dreams being seeing you graduate high school. It’s a shame they weren’t present at your college graduation. 

After listening to your aunt, your grandma, and Jungkook’s mom. Jungkook is next. You didn’t know he’d be talking, but his mom let you know that he had something prepared.

He saunters towards the front from the second row, hands in his pockets, before he clears his throat, taking a piece of paper from his pocket, coughing against his closed fist before he speaks up. 

“Auntie ___ and Uncle ___ were the most selfless people I know. When my mother couldn't join me for Mother's Day lunch at school, Auntie __ stepped in. As I learned to ride a bike, it was Uncle ___ who stayed outside with me for hours, patiently assisting me as I struggled to find my balance,” he starts, meeting your eyes before looking back into the general audience. 

“Auntie and Uncle were filled with so much love and trust. They embraced a more liberal parenting style, trusting in the inherent kindness of the world to play a role in shaping their daughter's character.”

It’s funny, because as he’s speaking about you, he can’t bring himself to meet your eyes. “They exposed her to life's various facets, both its joys and challenges, instilling in her a deep understanding of the world's complexities. And their approach paid off. They leave behind a daughter, one of the most compassionate and beautiful souls who embodies traits of independence, strength, and intelligence.”

Your heart clenches, and you raise your lashes, hanging onto his every word. You can feel your  heart beating against your chest. 

“To honor their legacy, let’s approach the world with less caution and more trust. Embrace the goodness of the world and live happily, just like Auntie ___ and Uncle ___ did. Thank you.”

Jungkook still doesn’t meet your eyes as he returns to his seat, but yours follows his all the way to his seat.

-

Right after the memorial service, Jungkook catches you off guard. He strides over, giving you a hug– a full hug– before whispering in your ear, the baritone of his voice causing goosebumps  to erect on your skin. “I have to go now, but stay safe. I’ll see you when I get back.”

You look up at him, nodding. “Yea. See you.”

He doesn’t say anything else, walking towards his parents and taking the keys to his own car before he leaves. All your friends watch Jungkook just as intently, but nobody says anything. You don’t talk about Jungkook much with your friends anymore. There’s not really a reason to. 

And just like that, you don’t see Jungkook for another six months. 

-

The next time you see Jungkook is when he comes home from the military. 

This time, you aren’t able to join his parents to pick him up, and it’s not because you’re avoiding him, but because you have an important meeting at work– a meeting that you just can’t wiggle your way out of. 

Apparently, the higher ups are announcing something– something so important that apparently they need the entire company present…. And why couldn’t have this just been an email?

As the hours tick by, you sit in your cubicle, completing an analysis of consumer behavior for a client. Work isn’t particularly exciting nor is it a bore. You currently work in consulting, specializing in data analysis to help clients make decisions for their businesses.

At 4PM, an hour before everybody goes home, the higher ups gather everyone into the auditorium. 

You sit next to Mary, one of the colleagues on your team, about 50 years old, who taps you on the shoulder and whispers. “My oh my, if they wanted to kill us all, this would be the perfect time to drop a bomb,” she jokes, which makes you smile. 

That was a cute comment. You place your hand over hers. “Well, at least we’d go out together, right? HR won’t have to spend any more on those team building exercises,” you joke with a gag, prompting Mary to roll her eyes. 

The tension in the room is palpable as the CEO takes the stage and clears their throat, prompting everyone’s attention.

"Good afternoon, everyone. I'm pleased to announce that after months of negotiations, we have finalized a merger agreement with HYBE Korea," the CEO declares, gesturing towards the screen where the company logo appears.

“This means that some of the departments will be relocating to HYBE," the CEO announces, his voice projecting as he gestures towards the screen displaying the company's new logo. "HYBE is investing in a new building equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, providing us with an exciting opportunity to expand our operations."

You pause, and that’s when the realization sinks in. 

Jungkook works for HYBE. 

"In celebration of this milestone, we will be hosting a party next month to commemorate the merger. More details will be sent through email.” the CEO continues, his words met with a ripple of applause and relieved smiles from the crowd. "It will be an opportunity for us to come together as a unified team and celebrate the bright future that lies ahead."

Mary’s saying something to you but you’re not even processing it, trying to understand the implications of the merger. 

There’s no way you’d be working with Jungkook– imagine the odds of that. But, what if? 

He gets back today and everything feels surreal. 

-

After you get back to your car, Jungkook’s mother calls you, excitedly urging you to drive over to her place to celebrate Jungkook’s return from the military. You tell her that of course you’ll be there before you start driving down the oh so familiar streets to Jungkook’s child home. 

Upon pulling up, you see a familiar face. 

Rolling down the window, you call out his name, “Tae!!”

Taehyung, who is in the midst of walking towards the front door, whips his head towards your voice. “Y/N, hey!”

He waits for you to park, you clumsily grabbing onto your purse so you can meet him at the front. 

“I missed you,” you say. 

“I missed you too. Text me more,” he responds before scanning you up and down, “You look… fancy,” Taehyung comments to which you sigh playfully. 

“You know, I chose to waste my life away as a corporate slave,” you muse, giving him a hug. 

“Just like your boyfriend,” Taehyung jokes, making an obvious reference to Jungkook. 

“Oh shut up,” you sigh, swatting his bicep, allowing him to open the door for you. 

The moment you walk in, Jungkook’s mother squeals like she’s never seen you in her life. “Omo, omo, omo! Y/N is here everyone!” she announces excitedly, scurrying over to you, immediately latching onto your bicep to pull you towards the crowd, “Y/N is here! Y/N is here!”

Jungkook is standing by the dining table, surrounded by his aunts, uncles, and cousins. He lifts his head to meet eyes with you, offering you a gentle smile. The way he looks at you, smiles at you– it’s just, it makes your heart swell. 

Every time you see him, it’s like time slows down. 

You can imagine waking up this smile every morning, rolling over to find his handsome face gazing softly at you to- 

Wait. Have you lost your mind?

And at that moment, you’re tackled to the ground by Jungkook’s six year old cousin, Jacob. If Jungkook is no longer in love with you, the only solace you have is the affection of his six year old cousin. 

He grabs your face with both palms, causing your lips to pucker as he pouts at you. “Why didn’t you say hi to me?” 

You gently grab his face and ruffle hush air. “Sowwy, Jacob. You’re too little I didn’t see you,” you reason to which Jacob, for some reason, becomes angry at. 

He rolls over onto the ground, just to get up and stomp away. “I am not little!” he declares, stomping up the stairs. You can hear the door slam and you exchange bewildered glances with Jacob’s mother, who shakes her head. 

“He's just going through a bit of a phase," she reassures you with a smile, before turning to follow Jacob upstairs. You lock eyes with Jungkook, who gives you a subtle smile. 

The Jeon family is filled with drama queens. 

Jungkook closes the distance between you. “Hey.”

You feel your heart skip a beat. 

He’s as handsome as ever. Just like he’s always been. 

“Hey, welcome back,” you sheepishly express, standing on your tiptoes to give him a hug. 

He hugs you– like, really hugs you. Both of his strong arms snake around your waist, holding you against him securely. It leaves you weak in the knees. It’s a little too intimate for a casual, welcome back hug, but you haven’t a problem with it. 

He pulls back, and all you can do is stare at him. You’re mesmerized. Again, he always makes you feel like this. This feeling will never dissipate. 

“Did you just get back from work?” 

You come back to Earth, pulled from your entrancement. 

“Yea, I did…” You scan him up and down. He’s wearing something casual– a black T-shirt and black shorts, but his physique still looks perfect and he still looks perfect. Without thinking, you speak, “Did you happen to hear about the- no, nevermind.”

Jungkook tilts his head with a slightly teasing expression, “No, say it,” he urges

“The merger.”

“Merger?”

You say it in unison, and you bite a smile back. 

Jungkook’s mom automatically intervenes, “Omo! Omo!” she exclaims, “A merger? What merger?”

“Y/N’s company and my company are merging,” Jungkook simply answers, looking at you to raise his brows. 

“Omo!” she exclaims again, almost theatrically falling to her knees, “Does this mean that you two will be working together?” she asks, motioning towards you and Jungkook, to which you sheepishly shake your head. 

“Probably not,” you dismiss, “I don’t even know if my department is relocating to the new facility.”

“Oh, I hope you do!” Jungkook’s mother pouts, “That would be absolutely perfect! It would be great if he could watch over you at work,” she reasons, before addressing the entire family, “Y/N is very pretty and gets hits on a lot,” she explains, making you squeeze your features in embarrassment. 

All of Jungkook’s older family members murmur in agreement– and you appreciate the hype, you really do, but it’s embarrassing, especially in front of the entire family. You place a hand on Jungkook’s mother’s shoulder. “Excuse me for a moment, I’m going to use the restroom,” you whisper, to which she gives you two big thumbs ups. 

On your way to the restroom, you stop in your tracks. None other than Yeonjun, the ANTAGONIST, steps out, swatting the air like he’d just taken a nasty shit. 

You blink at him and he blinks at you. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you deadpan. 

Yeonjun shrugs, “Jungkook’s aunt invited me. She thinks I’m a cutie pie.”

“Okay,” you roll your eyes, walking past him to inconspicuously drag him with you into the restroom. 

You throw him onto the toilet seat, looking into the mirror to touch up your makeup. 

“Y/N, this looks suspicious,” Yeonjun deadpans, watching you reapply your lip gloss and comb through your eyebrows. 

At that, you drop your hand from your face. “Oh shit, that’s true,” you gasp, a hand coming over your mouth. 

For the past– like– two years, Jungkook’s family has been under the impression that you and Yeonjun are dating. That notion couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

You inhale sharply, turning towards Yeonjun, “You leave first and then I’ll follow.”

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. "Sure thing, Y/N. Just pray that nobody’s waiting outside," he says with a mocking smile before slipping out of the restroom.

And of course, Jungkook’s mother was right outside the door. She shrieks. 

-

Every single one of Jungkook’s aunts and uncles met you when you were just an itty-bitty baby.   

Occasionally, you keep in touch with the aunts and uncles– not nearly as much as you do with Jungkook’s parents, but goodness, are you thankful for your connections to the Jeon family because you find out that Jungkook’s uncle won the lottery. 

The literal lottery– and he bought a yacht, a yacht that he suggests to all the “kids” (a bunch of 20-something year olds, pushing 30) to go on a little cruise in celebration of Jungkook’s return. 

You really wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t rush home to get your bikini and sunscreen, and of course, you dragged Yeonjun along with you. 

The yacht, even under the night sky, is the fanciest, most luxurious thing you've ever laid eyes on. Its lights twinkle like stars, casting a gentle glow on the water. It's like a dream come true, a magical oasis on the dark sea. 

This is so cute, so summer. 

With your towel laid against the deck, you’re lying on the deck like you’re suntanning, which isn’t possible because it’s the moon’s light that shines down on you, but at least it makes you feel like a magical moon fairy. 

“Get the angles right!” you bark to which Yeonjun rolls his eyes to the back of his head and groans. 

With your forearm resting against the deck, you hold your body up sideways, all your assets on display. With your knees touching, your hip touches the deck, and your other arm goes up in the air, and you’re waving it around like a little mermaid. 

In a sense, you’re posing to get a cute Instagram pic– but also because you know Jungkook might be watching from the upper deck. He’s probably drinking with his friends, not even batting a lash nor caring about you, but you like to delude yourself into thinking that he could be checking you out from a distance. 

“Y/N, I took like 300,” he deadpans, dismissing your complaints with a wave, “Take some for me now,” he instructs, standing up to hand you his phone, “I’m cuter than you so they better look better than yours.”

“Yea, yea. Whatever,” you muse, going along with the bit, holding up your phone to get all the good angles for your forever bestie. 

-

Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook sit on the upper deck, staring at the night sky with bottles of Soju in their hands. Like you and Yeonjun, they’re in their swim trunks, though no one is entirely certain they want to go for a swim in the chilly  water. 

Unbeknownst to you, the four men have a clear view of you from the upper deck.

The flash of the phone camera flickers comically, occasionally lighting up the mens’ faces as they all try to avoid looking at you– out of chivalry, of course. 

Taehyung is particularly amusing, maintaining his expression of stoicism as he stares directly into the moon, taking an occasional sip of Soju. 

At that moment, Jungkook knows that he chose the right friends because he himself can’t seem to rip his eyes from you. You’re beautiful; that is absolute, without a doubt– but something has changed– maybe it’s the angle that the cool breeze hits his face or the alcohol making him feel soothingly warm on the inside. 

Jungkook sees it in your mannerisms, the way you poise yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk. You were gorgeous before, and he was insane about you before, but damn– you’ve become such a woman. 

He knows what it is, but he’d be a dick to patronize you for it, to act like he’s proud of you for becoming more confident. Undoubtedly, you’ve developed a more profound sense of confidence and it makes Jungkook swell with pride because he remembers how you’ve agonized over your body, complaining about your boobs, your weight, your waist, when in reality everything was and is perfect. 

You’re as beautiful as a Victoria’s Secret model, as ethereal as the goddess of beauty, and Jungkook’s just happy to see that you’ve embraced it. 

You yourself would agree with the sentiment; it wasn’t until your 20’s that you grasped how utterly gorgeous you are, and how to embrace your beauty, make yourself look good and like you, not just like every other girl on Instagram. 

Jimin clears his throat, “So.. now that you’re back, are you and Y/N going to…”

Jungkook lifts his head and looks at Jimin. He shakes his head. It’s firm and absolute. “No, it’s better for us to be friends.”

Mingyu raises a brow, “You can’t take your eyes off her.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he rationalizes, “People can like each other and still be incompatible.”

“Incompatible?” Taehyung repeats, a twinge of confrontation in his voice, “If I had a girl like Y/N in my life I’d propose immediately.”

Jungkook stares into the moon, “I need a cigarette-”

“Okay, what is wrong with you?” Jimin challenges, rising to his feet, “Y/N is right there,” Jimin whisper-yells, motioning towards the lower deck, “You clearly still feel something for her, so do something about it. I mean- how would you feel if someone– not me… I don’t know. How would you feel if Mingyu hit on her right now? And they started dating?’

“Why me?-”

“That would be inappropriate,” Jungkook retorts, “Y/N can date whoever she wants, just not you guys.”

“Then what about Yeonjun?” Taehyung intervenes calmly, “Yeonjun’s a good kid. She brings him to all your family events. They’re cute together, huh?” Taehyung motions towards the lower deck, where you and Yeonjun are laying on your sides facing each other, animatedly discussing something probably stupid, like penguins. 

He notices the skinship, how your hand is casually thrown around Yeonjun’s waist, and how you occasionally swat at his shoulder whenever he says something a little too egregious. 

No, it doesn’t bother Jungkook. 

Jungkook actually likes that you have male friends, that you can maintain friendships with the opposite gender without it having to mean more. 

It means that he can trust you, and that he can trust your friends to take care of you. 

But what trust is at stake here? It’s not like you’re his girlfriend nor should he worry about who’s taking care of you or not taking care of you. Furthermore, it really isn’t his place to feel betrayed, like you cheated on him, by the prospect of you actually forming a relationship with Yeonjun–. 

“See? You look hurt as fuck,” Taehyung affirms.

“I’m not hurt-”

“Get your shit together, and get your girl. Y/N’s not perfect, but she could be perfect for you,” Taehyung shrugs at his corny play of words, earning a playful shoulder nudge from Mingyu. 

“Aye, that was a good one.”

On cue, he hears two inconspicuous splashes into the ocean, your squeals echoing across the atmosphere. 

“Tag, you’re it!”

“Bitch! You just kicked my balls!”

“I said tag, you’re it!”

But wait, isn’t it a little too dark to be swimming this late?

-

When it comes to you it’s like Jungkook’s protective instinct never dies. 

Descending the stairs to the lower deck, he watches Yeonjun as he climbs onto the deck. “Y/N, you need to stop kicking my nuts! Holy shit!”

“I said sorry!” you retort, “I didn’t know!”

Yeonjun grumbles something indistinctive before picking a towel up to  roughly dry his hair, disappearing into the restroom. 

“Y/N, it isn’t safe to swim alone at night,” Jungkook mumbles. He takes a seat on the lower deck, his feet submerged under the water. The water is icy cold, and he can’t conceive how you’re not shivering. He’s not being patronizing. He’s simply worried for your safety. 

You swim towards him, hands latching around his ankles to stabilize yourself beneath the water. 

It’s the casual skinship between you two. The way his hand lingered on your shoulder when he told you his uncle bought a yacht. It’s the way he can casually wipe food from your mouth with his bare hands without batting a lash. It’s the way your fingers trail up his legs so you can place your forearms against his thighs, resting your head on them. 

“Then… why don’t you come join me..?” 

Jungkook really doesn’t want to. The water is cold, the weather is cold, and he’s very much comfortable on the warm yacht. 

….

Jungkook submerges himself under the water, coming up before flicking his head back to rid the water from his eyes. 

“It’s cold as fuck, Y/N,” Jungkook mutters, body temperature still adjusting to the chilly water.

He freezes when your fingertips brush against his. abs— perhaps accidentally, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make him feel any less electrified.

“That’s why it’s good to have more than one person in here,” you rationalize, “More body heat.”

You’re treading against the water, and not doing a great job at it- your head bobs with the motion of the waves, and you find yourself sputtering the water out of your mouth as you speak.

Jungkook wipes his face haphazardly with his left hand before he reaches out to stabilize you, holding onto your bicep. 

It makes your heart skip a beat. So big and strong. You can smell the shampoo on his wet hair, and it makes you dizzy because not only does he always look good, he always smells good. 

Your eyes trail from his bicep to his shoulder, neck, and finally, to his eyes. He’s already looking at you, the warmth of his gaze making you feel so secure and safe. 

You know he wants you. There’s no way he can look at you like this and not want you. 

It hasn’t even been a day since he’s returned from the military and he looks at you the same way he looked at you from the night before he left: with love. 

Your eyes flicker down to his lips, his pretty lips. He’s so pretty. You close the distance, wrapping your arms around his neck to stabilize you further, and you draw your lips to his- 

Until he turns his head.

Still, his hands grab your waist, holding you close to him against the water, but he looks into the ocean, 90 degrees from you, refusing to look at you or meet your eyes. 

“It’s cold, we should get out. I don’t want to get sick,” he suggests.

“Yea, okay,” you sheepishly agree, allowing him to hoist you onto the lower deck before following in your stead.

He throws you a vacant towel, “You alright?”

Catching it with a single hand,  you use it to pat yourself dry, composing yourself before you stare at him. 

“I’m fine.”

-

That night, Jungkook’s mother suggests you spend the night at her house, or that Jungkook drive you home given how late it is. 

Instead, you sneak out of the house and drive home, far too embarrassed to be around Jungkook let alone look him in the eye. 

That was so humiliating. You think about how you behaved while you were staying with him after your parents’ death. You exposed yourself to him in the shower and begged him to join you. What the hell were you even thinking? Should you just drive your car off this cliff?

When you pull into your apartment complex’s parking lot, you keep banging your head against the steering wheel in hopes that maybe you’d wake up and realize that tonight was just an embarrassing dream. 

Well, unfortunately it wasn’t a dream, because later that night Jungkook shows up at your door with your wallet in his hand. You answer the door in a loose T-shirt, boyshorts, and a Snorlax plush headband on your head with a gray face mask. 

“My mom told me to give this back to you.”

You take the wallet, “Thanks.”

You stand there for a moment, staring at him. 

He looks at you, pursing his lips before he places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I’ll always care about you, alright?”

You nod, fidgeting with the charm of your necklace, “I know.”

“Good. I’ll be going, then,” Jungkook announces. 

“Alright, drive safely,” you respond. 

With a brief nod, Jungkook moves to shut the door and depart, and for some reason you just can’t bear to see him go so your hands instinctively reach for him, latching around his wrist. 

Jungkook raises his eyebrows at you, and you almost yank your hand from him immediately. 

“It’s nothing,” you express, biting your lip. 

“Alright then, I’ll see you.”

“Good night.”

The moment he leaves, you scold yourself for being so emboldened. Weren’t you embarrassed enough? You open your fridge, pouring yourself a glass of champagne, before you pace around your apartment, your champagne swishing in your glass while you find yourself in deep contemplation.

Jungkook’s back. 

Everything you’ve ever wanted is back, in front of you. 

You hurt him, and apparently you made him cry, well- that was all in the past, anyways. 

It doesn’t matter because you love him. You really do. You love him with your entire soul, heart, and being, and you know your feelings are reciprocated, so if there’s even a chance that he’s willing to give it another shot, you’ve got to do something about it. 

Instinctively, you grab your laptop and place it on the dining table, stretching your fingers out to write the longest text message you’ve probably sent in your life. 

Once your pinky finger presses the Enter key, you slam your laptop shut, pacing around your apartment until you hear a ding from your phone. 

You nearly screech, running to your bathroom to wash off the face mask, putting some moisturizer on, combing through your eyebrows, and applying your lip gloss before- 

Ding Dong

You open the door, looking up at Jungkook with big eyes while he looks down at you. He runs his hand through his hair before holding your face with his palms, studying you, his eyes urgently scanning your features for any hint of insincerity. 

“You mean it?”

“Yes,” you say resolutely, struggling against his firm grasp, your lips slightly puckering. 

“Prove it then,” he demands.

He lets go of your face and welcomes himself into your humble abode. 

Taking a seat on your couch, he crosses his arms, watching you intently as if waiting for you to break out into a soliloquy. 

You don’t know what to say, and you’re far too embarrassed to admit your transgressions aloud, until a light bulb appears over your head. 

“My diary,” you suggest, “I’ll let you read… parts of my diary, but you have to prove it first.”

You expect him to ask you how, or to ask you what he’s supposed to be proving, but he doesn’t. 

“Okay. C’mere,” he says with a tilt of his head. All you can do is shift your weight between ankles, before shyly approaching him. 

“Sit,” he gently instructs. 

You nod, about to seat yourself on the area beside him before he grabs your wrist and twirls you around so that you’re straddling him. Your hands find themselves on your shoulders, and Jungkook wraps his around your back. 

“Y/N, I..” he starts, his gently brown orbs studying your features, “I know what you think of me,” he sighs as if just relinquished from holding the weight of the world, “and I promise you that I’m not that man,” he continues, scrutinizing your every nonverbal response.

“I’m selfish, I’m immature,” he starts, brushing your bangs from your face, “but never with you,” he finishes. “I always showed you the best parts of me, always wanted you to see me as someone you can rely on,” he expresses, gently cradling your face, “but I don’t think you realize how much I depend on you, how much I need you too.”

Your features scrunch, studying his features, digesting his words. He reaches in his pocket for something, before pulling out a heart shaped locket. He uses his other arm to delicately grasp your hand, placing the locket in your hand. 

“Look at it,” he instructs, and you follow, your fingertips clumsily opening the locket. Your heart swells. The heart shaped locket bears an image of you. 

“Being in the military wasn’t easy for me,” he continues, “but I had you with me. Had my favorite girl with me. You gave me strength.”

“When you left that morning, I regretted what I said to you. I thought I was too harsh, and that I’d lost you forever. That was one of the worst feelings in my life– but to me, I felt that you were the one who turned me down. I thought that you were just infatuated with me, that you wouldn’t care about me if you’d see how immature and selfish I really am. But I love you so much that I was okay with that. I’m okay with anything as long as it’s you,” he finally finishes.

You don’t know what to say. Your eyes flicker towards the locket, “You could’ve chosen a better picture,” you mumble, to which Jungkook amusedly scoffs. 

“That’s all you have to say?” he muses. 

Your cheeks turn strawberry pink, and you climb off his lap, running to your room to grab your diary. You return, skipping through the pages, before you  land on the one you want to show him. 

You jut it towards him, “Here.”

Jungkook’s eyes glaze over the page, and he starts reading it aloud, mocking your voice, “I graduate college today-”

You literally throw yourself on him to shut him up, “Do not.”

A cheeky smile dances across his face as his eyes scan over the page. After a moment, he looks up and pouts, “Awe, baby,” he coos. 

Your face scrunches cutely. 

“Come gimme a hug,” he sweetly beckons, to which you sheepishly jump into his lap again, his arms snaking around your waist while he soothingly runs his hands up and down your back. 

“I’ll always be here for you, whether we’re together or not,” he whispers against your skin, “You mean everything to me.”

“I know,” you self-consciously respond.

"There's nothing you can do to be 'worthy' of me. I love you for you. You can be the world's richest person or the world's poorest person and there's nothing that would change for me, seriously. All you need to do is continue loving yourself, and that's good enough for me."

"Even if I turned into a worm? You'd still love me?" you ask, your voice coming out as a slight whimper.

Jungkook smiles. Obviously not, but of course, he'll indulge you. "Of course," he says, his voice like honey, "I'd carry you around in my pocket."

"Thanks," you sheepishly murmur, “There are just things I’m worried about, but I trust you with everything.”

He hums in agreement, “We’ll work it out.”

“Okay,” you concede, “I love you,” you confess, “I love you forever.”

“I love you forever too.”

The moment feels so intimate. Your chests are heart to heart, beating in unison as you relish the sensation of having him in your arms, having him back. 

-

Dating Jungkook officially means you get to indulge in all of your innermost desires, the little things you never thought you’d see into fruition– because the reality is that you’ve seen Jungkook in every way. He’s been to your house thousands of times, and you’ve slept over at his hundreds of times, but having him in a different way fills you with an indescribable sense of excitement and joy. 

He’s taken you shopping thousands of times, but this time is different. Jungkook is affectionately, overwhelmingly so. He’ll keep his fingers intertwined with yours even when your palms become drenched with sweat. As stated before, he doesn’t care about any distinct bodily fluid if it’s yours. 

He’ll hold you from behind while you browse through clothes, give you the occasional peck when you’re in line– it seems like he’s enjoying this domestic intimacy as much as you are. The poor guy has been in the military for a whole year. 

“That one’s cute,” he comments, motioning towards a white sundress hanging on the rack, just beside the crop top you’re currently looking at. He keeps your body close to him, his arms so casually thrown around you from behind. His fingers play with your hair, twirling it around his index, and every so often, he presses kisses to your cheek, neck, and skillfully cradles your face, forcing your jaw towards him for a sweet kiss. 

“Should I try it on?” you ask with a cute tilt of your head. 

“I like it,” he offers, “I rarely see you in dresses. You always look so pretty.”

His sentiment makes you blush– you’re already aware that when he’s around, you’ve only really been in casual clothes: crop tops, sweatpants, and flared leggings. You want to show him a new side of you. 

“We could go to the beach together,” you offer. 

Jungkook hums in agreement, “Of course, baby,” he agrees, “You looked really pretty in that matching skirt and crop top thing you wore last time.”

“Which one?”

“The one you broke my heart in,” he teases. 

You amusedly scoff, twirling around to grab his face and press a kiss on his lips. He acts annoyed, doesn’t return the kiss, just stares down at you, but still chases your lips when you pull away. 

If the skinship is this pervasive in public, you can’t imagine how he would behave behind closed doors.

Jungkook got back yesterday, and you think that he’s really taking his fill of you after being deprived from you for so long. 

Yesterday was Friday, and today is Saturday… meaning that neither of you have nothing to do.

Nothing to do but look at cute princess dresses at the mall, cuddle, and watch Jujutsu Kaisen, obviously. 

Even while doing something as mundane as watching anime from the floor, you sit in between his legs, back pressed up against his chest, and his arms around your waist, fingers playing and pinching with the chub of your tummy. 

He can’t keep his hands off you. 

The sounds of Gojo and Toji’s fight are drowned by the pounding of your cardiac palpitations. Jungkook’s large hands are splayed against the front of your body, his hands trailing up and around your stomach and back,  rubbing your skin, and sinking his fingertips into your chub. 

You gasp softly when you feel him unclasp your bra. 

He pulls his arms around you even more securely, tugging you onto his lap before he buries his face into the crook of your neck, “You’re so soft,” he murmurs, and his hands return to your stomach– and you think they’re going to trail up. Perhaps he’ll grab a handful of titty or rub a nipple until he doesn’t-

His hands trail to your legs, rubbing his palms up and down each calf lovingly before he laces his fingers through your toes, and gently pushes you off his lap…?

He rises to his feet. “I’m hungry, want me to make some ramen for you?”

“Uh yea, sure,” you smile. 

You and Jungkook have done it before: twice. Once at the beach villa and the second before he enlisted. 

Every time was magical, electrifying, the best you’ve ever had. He led you through each and every step with expertise and he was so soft, so sweet, and it felt so fucking good. 

Admittedly, your past, insecure, and inquisitive self did some snooping around and you are aware of Jungkook’s body count: 13. You were the 13th, and quite honestly, it didn’t make you feel the greatest; you despise the thought of Jungkook with another woman, but you suppose that there is something nice about having an experienced man. 

It’s not like you weren’t inexperienced either. 

Your body count was– like– 6. 

It’s not like any of the men before Jungkook actually made you come. It felt good, you guess, but having sex with someone you’re in love with is indescribable.  

You want to do it with him, but there’s something that makes you feel subconscious about making the first move, especially when it comes to something as intimate and forth putting as sex. 

You don’t find yourself seductive enough to do so, and you already have societal norms against you. 

Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the ones who want to unlock the gate. Blah Blah Blah. 

Well, you want to have sex too because you’re unbelievably in love and aroused by this man. 

So, would you be making the first move? You’ve changed a lot since the emboldened 19 year old you once were. 

In conclusion, no. You will absolutely not be making the first move. You will just have to suck it up. 

-

That Saturday night, Jungkook stays over at your place. 

Nothing happens, of course, but that doesn’t mean that Jungkook doesn’t spoon you like a prison inmate incarcerated in his little Jungkook cell. He snores softly against the crook of your neck. 

Living alone isn’t easy, especially as a 21 year old (subjectively hot) girl. You double lock your doors. You have a baseball bat with nails hidden in the depths of your closet. While Jungkook was in the army, you had Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu on speed dial just in case anything were to happen. 

It was stressful, and it gave you crippling anxiety at times. 

But Jungkook is your Prince Charming in every way, from the way he makes you feel, to the way he dotes on you, and to the way he protects you. Jungkook’s got big strong military muscles, and you know that he’d never let anything happen to you. 

Since forever, he’s always casually swept you towards the inside of the sidewalk, stepped in front of you when a stranger approached, and of course you aren’t aware of this, but the reason those creepy frat boys started leaving you alone was because of him. 

The sun rises, its sweet rays as warm as the feeling intensifying your chest. Jungkook’s arms are still draped on your sides, and you turn over so you can get a real good glimpse at his sleeping face. 

So handsome. Jungkook is sleeping calmly, soft snores leaving his mouth, and it brings you so much joy to see him at peace. 

You run a thumb over his brow, pressing a soft kiss to the area in between his eyebrows. Slowly, his eyes open, and he’s staring at you with lidded eyes, and you can’t fathom how handsome you think he is. 

“G’morning baby,” he says in a soft voice, the grogginess of his morning voice making you gulp. 

“Hi,” you sweetly respond, “Sorry for waking you. You can go back to sleep. It’s Sunday,” you say folding the comforter away from you to sneak out of bed. 

Jungkook protests with a hum, “I want you to stay with me,” he mumbles. 

“You don’t want breakfast?” 

“Can’t sleep without you,” he responds, his chest rising slightly, which makes you pout. 

“Alright.”

Peace. Serenity. Serendipity. Everything you’ve ever wanted. You’re so in love. 

-

Later that day, you get an email from the company, which is surprising since it’s Sunday, but essentially, the email states that your department will be transferring to the new HYBE facility. You flip your phone to show Jungkook the screen, who is sitting across the table stuffing his face with noodles with a Snorlax headband in his hair. 

On cue, Jungkook’s phone dings, and he pulls out his phone. 

“Oh shit,” he says aloud, “Same.”

You’re a bit taken aback, “Are you serious?” you ask, scrambling to your feet before racing around the dining room to glimpse at Jungkook’s phone. 

Dear Jungkook, We're pleased to inform you that your department facilities are relocating to a new, improved location. This move is part of our ongoing commitment to efficiency and employee satisfaction…

You exchange glances with him, blinking at him momentarily before you speak. 

“You’re going to get sick of me if you have to see me everyday,” you deadpan, prompting him to theatrically roll his eyes. 

“You do analytics, I do software development. We’re not even going to be on the same floor,” he declares matter-a-factly, “You’ll probably be with… the marketing girls or something.”

“Oh really?” you muse, raising your brows, “You don’t want to see me at work? You’d rather be with those ‘marketing girls’?”

Jungkook purses his lips, staring at you unimpressed, before a smile spreads across his lips. 

“If I see you at work,” he whispers, fingertips dancing  along your thigh before his palms grasp the backs of your thighs, pulling you towards him, “I won’t be able to focus. I’d be too distracted keeping my eyes on the pretty girl from the Analytics department.”

You blush slightly, “Oh- oh, shut up.”

“What? It’s the truth. Either you or I have to quit, and it won’t be me. I have seniority over you.”

You know he’s joking, but the notion makes you scowl. You step out of his grasp, “That’s not funny,” you mutter, crossing your arms. 

He shrugs, “I could really turn into the sugar daddy you’ve always dreamed about.”

“Don’t undermine me because I don’t have as much experience as you do,” you direct, to which Jungkook theatrically drops his jaw, rising to his feet. 

You look him right in the eye, maintaining your glare as he starts to tower over you. “Oh c’mon baby, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” he comforts. 

You shake your head, rolling your eyes, “Asshole,” you spit, stomping away from him, to which Jungkook follows. 

“Seriously? I was joking!” he reasons, following you to your room. You walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it before he can trail in your stead. At that, Jungkook scoffs, not believing that you were taking it this seriously. 

He knocks on the door. “Y/N,” he calls, dragging out your name. 

You don’t say anything, and he squeezes his eyes in defeat when he hears the sound of the shower starting, opting to slip into your bed whilst waiting for you to return. He sighs, running his hands over his face. 

To be honest, Jungkook is a little triggered. He hates the whole silent treatment thing more than anything else. Last year, you ignored him for four months straight and it nearly killed him  on the inside. 

Minutes later, you emerge from the shower, one towel wrapped around your body and the other wrapped around your hair. You cross your arms, staring at him. The towel wrapped around your frame is loose, threatening to fall beneath the nipple. 

Jungkook sighs, standing up and sauntering over. Your eyes are glossy, not from the water from the shower, and the tip of your nose is a cute shade of pink. Your features are twisted up into petulance, your lips displaying a subtle pout. 

Seeing you in distress pains him too. 

His gentle and careful fingers pull the towel above your breast. He knows you feel vulnerable and he doesn’t want you to inadvertently expose yourself and contribute to that vulnerability, his left hand rubbing your nape up and down gently. “What’s wrong, baby? Hm?” he inquires sweetly, bending over to draw your lips in for a honeyed kiss. 

“I just–” you start, unable to meet his eyes as you crane your head the other way. Jungkook gently cradles your jaw, directing your focus back to him. Looking into his eyes, you choke up. “I just– I know you weren’t being serious, but I just feel belittled, like is my work so unserious that one day I’ll just end up being a trad wife or stay at home mom?” 

Jungkook feels awful. He was already aware that you had some sort of inferiority complex when it came to him, and knowing that he fed into it makes him regret everything he’s ever said. 

Jungkook opens and closes his mouth immediately, looking for the right words. He places both palms on your shoulders, “Shit. I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean it that way at all,” he expresses, “I was just– I was just being a dick,” he says, pulling you in for a hug. “I don’t think of you that way at all,” he continues, “I mean– look at you. You’re 21 and you’re rich, you’ve got a good job. You’re up there with all these old people,” he jokes, eliciting a sweet giggle from your lips. 

“I only said it because I love you and I like the thought of taking care of you,” he says, to which you squirm. 

You squirm in place, looking the other way, “So are you mad at me? For ignoring you?” you sweetly beckon, and Jungkook draws your lips for another sweet kiss. 

“No, baby. I’m thankful you said something, though,” he offers, continually rubbing your nape up and down. 

“I can take care of you too,” you declare, “Remember? We’re equals now,” you express, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. 

That night, Jungkook helps you change into your clothes, dries your hair, and rubs your skincare into your face. So delicate. So sweet

There’s something so wonderful about having someone you can confide in, communicate with, and love. Jungkook never judges you; all you have to do is explain how you feel and he’ll indulge you completely. 

-

That doesn’t mean however, that Jungkook can’t be selfish, immature, or childish. 

The night he confessed to you, he told you that he could be all those things, and to be honest, you’ve never really seen it directed towards you. 

When he was a teenager, you saw him get mad at his parents when he was caught smoking for the first time. You were a kid, but you thought that was pretty childish. 

Beyond that, Jungkook has always been chill, more laid back, and normal. 

Not tonight, though. 

“That was childish,” you deadpan from the passenger seat of his car. 

Jungkook reaches over to place his palm on your thigh, to which you swat it away and lean as far as you can into the window. 

Jungkook scoffs, “You’re calling me childish? Out of all people, you’re calling me childish?”

You cross your arms. “I am,” you respond, your voice firm and resolute. 

You both were on your way back from the company party celebrating the merger. The company went all out, hosting the party at a luxury hotel, illuminating the hotel’s grand ballroom with twinkling chandeliers and neon signs displaying the company’s name. 

You arrive as a pair, nothing too conspicuous for the sake of professionalism. You’re wearing a long sleeved dress, with Jungkook in a casual black button up and gray slacks. 

You quickly separated to meet with your respective departments, and when you happened to pass by Jungkook’s department, he went out of his way to greet your coworkers, introducing himself to your department like he’s never seen you before in his life. 

The other men in Jungkook’s department are quite put together. They seem like the type of people Jungkook would work with: young, objectively attractive, tech-nerds. You greet all of them with the same enthusiasm Jungkook greeted your department, knowing that they may be potential wedding guests. 

At the moment, you aren’t quite able to recall their names but he works with six other guys. They didn’t really leave a lasting impression; they were kind, sweet, and polite, nothing out of the ordinary.

Notably, it was Mary– your kind, sweet, amazing 50-year old coworker and work bestie, who brought her son to the party. That was not something you were expecting, mostly because Mary always teased you about becoming her son-in-law, and you always entertained the notion, not expecting that you’d meet the man in person. 

Mary’s son is in his early 30’s, and he is… nice. 

He’s nice, he really is. He’s an intelligent, hard-working man. He takes care of his sweet mother, and for that, he is admirable, but you think there was some miscommunication there, because he is definitely under the impression that you are interested in him in some way, shape, or form, and you feel horrible about it,  because you don’t think Mary knows you were playing around.  

Mary's son leaned in with a charming smile. "So, what do you like to do outside of work?" he inquires, his gaze lingering on you with a subtle hint of interest.

You hesitate for a moment, "Oh, you know, the usual. I enjoy reading and hiking when I have the time," you reply cautiously.

Mary's son nods, his smile widening slightly. "Sounds like we have some common interests. Maybe we could do something together sometime.”

Your heart sinks at the implication of his words, but before you can respond, your big, hot, sexy boyfriend intervenes. Jungkook had his eye on you the entire night– nothing too conspicuous, but he made sure you were always within his field of peripheral vision. 

Jungkook steps in, a champagne glass in hand. He playfully nudges Mary’s son and you squeeze your eyes shut, dreading what’s yet to come.

“Must be quite the occasion for you to be hitting on your mom’s coworkers,” he cuts in making you run your hands over your face, “Let me put you on to something else,” he continues, “I mean, you’re a handsome guy, and I know that there’s someone else more suitable for you than a 21 year old, alright bud?” he continues, throwing a casual arm around Mary’s son as he leads him elsewhere. 

Okay, it wasn’t that bad. 

But it was embarrassing. 

Jungkook seemed polite, but his language was more than passive aggressive, and anyone who caught heed to the conversation tangibly felt it.  

“I was literally being nice!” Jungkook rationalizes, his fingers tapping against the driver’s wheel, prompting you to huff in frustration. 

“You should have let me handle it,” you respond, “I was going to turn him down. Next time, don’t do all that, alright?”

“You were not going to handle it,” he retorts, “You were mumbling– baby, you were blushing– definitely entertaining it,” he adds. 

You shake your head, “That was my coworker’s son! If it was any other guy I would’ve told him to fuck off, but I had to be polite.”

“Yea, well, and if it was any other guy, I would’ve beaten the shit out of him so what’s your point?”

“Oh my gosh,” you express, face palming. 

“C’mon baby, he was being totally predatory for hitting on his mom’s coworker,” Jungkook argues, “I didn’t even say anything that bad. Had a nice conversation with the guy.”

“It was childish, Jungkook,” you counter, “The fly on the wall could sense your passive aggression.”

“I’m such a big bad wolf for saving my girlfriend from a situation she was uncomfortable in. Aww,” he mocks a pout, dragging his pointer finger across his face to mimic a tear. 

At that, you can’t help but scoff out laughter. “You’re so stupid,” you muse. 

-

That situation was merely the tip of the iceberg. 

You weren’t that angry; Mary’s son was out of line and it’s not like Jungkook said anything too egregious, but it’s the next day that Jungkook really shows you how immature you can be. 

The following Monday is yours and Jungkook’s first day of work. 

Jungkook is so in love, loves seeing you in a new light. It’s like there’s hearts in your eyes when you “coincidentally” run into each other in the second story printing room, finding the way you work when you’re in professional mode so sexy. 

It’s like he has hearts in his eyes while he leans against the company’s wall, hands in his pockets while his eyes follow you from across the office, loving the way you simply walk around with a stack of paper in your hands. 

That is, until the CEO of the fucking company starts hitting on you. That’s when his smile drops, and he removes his hands from the pockets. He instinctively steps forward to intervene yet again, until he remembers that this is actually work and that he can get both of you fired by doing anything too crazy. 

“Quit your job,” Jungkook instructs the moment you get back to his place, causing you to almost drop your work bag onto the floor. 

Maybe you didn’t hear him properly, “What’d you say?” you ask, taking off your shoes and joining him in the kitchen.

“Quit your job. I’ll help you find another one,” Jungkook suggests, rummaging through the fridge, as if it isn’t the most ridiculous idea you’ve heard in your life. 

“I’m sorry babe. Can you repeat that one more time?”

“Quit your job, Y/N,” Jungkook finishes, slamming the fridge a little too hard. He’s clearly miffed. He’s doing that thing where he tongues the inside of his cheek. His eyebrows are in an angry V, and his chest is heaving up and down— and honestly, the fact that he’s angry calms you a little bit. 

He’s just speaking from emotion, and now you need to be the voice of reason. 

You force a smile, sneaking around to hug him from behind, resting your cheek against his mid-back. 

“And why do you say that, honey? Hm?”

He swivels around, placing his palms on your shoulders. “Y/N, this isn’t funny. The CEO was being creepy as fuck. Turn in your resignation tomorrow, and I’ll start looking for another one. I’ll pay your bills until we can find you another job,” he states.

“C’mon babe,” you start, “the CEO was not being creepy. I’m the youngest at the company. He was just being nice.”

At that, Jungkook’s features scrunch in confusion, detecting any hint of sarcasm on your face. “You really think that?”

“I do.”

Jungkook sighs, “Y/N, rate yourself on a scale from 1-10, on societal standards of beauty. 10 being– like Anok Yai. Where do you stand? Be honest?”

The question is absurd, but you entertain it, putting your fingers on your chin while you genuinely contemplate the assertion. 

“Maybe a 6?-”

“Okay, well, you’re an 11, and every guy feels that way. You don’t know how pretty you are and that’s my fault. I should tell you more, but baby– that’s how pretty you are. The CEO was hitting on you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, so quit your job.”

You stand there, processing his words, and while the sentiment is somewhat touching, you can’t lie and say that you aren’t the least bit upset, especially because you had this conversation about your work a few days ago. 

“No,” is all you say.

“No?” Jungkook challenges.

“No,” you confirm, “I’m not going to quit my job. The CEO hasn’t done anything,” you reason, gesturing with your hands, “If he gets out of line, we can consider reporting him, but I’m not going to quit my job.”

“Okay, fair,” Jungkook says putting his hands up, and you smile, thinking that this conversation is over until he continues. 

“But why would you wait for something bad to happen? Isn’t that totally absurd? I don’t want to wait for it to happen. Let’s play it safe.”

You sigh, “I see what you’re saying, I really do. But I don’t think anything is going to happen. I think you’re overreacting…”

Jungkook pauses, tonguing the inside of his cheek before a sly smile dances across his lips. “Overreacting, huh?”

“Um, yea,” you confirm, “Why would I quit my job? I’d lose all my connections. I mean– this is the only real employment I’ve had. Besides internships, I’d have nothing to put on my resume.”

Jungkook nods, understanding. 

What he really wants to say is “Babe, just quit your job and I’ll make all the money. You’ll never have to work a day in your life and then we’ll retire early and travel the world together with our kids and-”

But that’s totally patronizing, but hey, he can’t help himself if he feels that way. 

“So what do we do, babe? The CEO is in a position of power. I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of,” Jungkook expresses, his eye twitching. 

What he really wants to say is “I literally saw the CEO’s dick getting hard while he talked to you and if I could, I’d shoot his entire office up-”

But of course, he would never utter the sentiment aloud. 

“If it gets to that, we could report him for sexual harassment,” you ponder.

Jungkook nods in agreement, but you and he both understand the implications of reporting your CEO for something like that. Women always get the short end of the stick. People would probably accuse you of lying, the CEO would leverage his resources to legally ruin you, and you both could lose your job security. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to even let it get to that point, and he’s trying his best to respect your autonomy, but it bothers him, it really does. 

He inhales deeply, finding peace in the way your fingertips dance under his skirt, caressing his abs before you pull him in for a hug. “Nothing is going to happen, baby,” you comfort, “Everything will be alright, I promise.”

-

Indeed, everything is not alright, because the CEO repeatedly calls you into his office for some inconspicuous reasons, and you’re suddenly starting to understand where Jungkook is coming from. 

Your only solace is that Jungkook is around the corner. Today, he’s wearing a suit and tie, his wire-framed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks exceptionally sexy today, his long legs accentuated by his suit and his hair swept back to show his sexy forehead.

You put your phone down, looking up right when the elevator doors open to reveal a handsome, suit-clad Jungkook. 

“Hello Mr. Jeon,” you express, a smile dancing on your lips when you bow to him and saunter into the elevator. 

“Hello Ms. L/N,” Jungkook responds matter-a-factly, pushing up his glasses on his nose, “Strange running you into here.”

You bite back a giggle, “Yea, that is indeed strange. How is work for you, sir?”

“Oh work’s alright. The team is-”

And just like that your lips are on his, and he’s devouring you completely. Your legs wrap around his waist as he hoists you up, pressing you against the elevator doors as he sloppily and messily kisses you. Tongue in your mouth, teeth clashing, his groin grinds against the area between your thighs, inducing you to moan into his mouth while Jungkook continues licking into you and–

Ding! The elevator dings and you and Jungkook instantly scramble apart, resulting in you running to the other side of the elevator, smoothing out your skirt while you catch your breath. You cough, hand coming at ease in front of you while you stare at the floor. Jungkook behaves similarly, pushing up his glasses while he clears his throat and straightens his tie. 

A second later, the elevator doors open, and more office workers pool in. You and Jungkook greet them politely, feigning innocence and ignorance. 

The next day, something similar transpires. 

You’re wearing a long, red skirt, a white blouse, and you have a white ribbon in your hair. You love work because it grants you opportunities to put together cute, modest outfits, and apparently, Jungkook likes it too, because you always catch him looking. 

He checks you out quite noticeably, his eyes shamelessly scanning up and down your frame as he bites his lips. Your cheeks flush, and you take a moment before you sheepishly step into the elevator. 

“H-hello, Mr. Jeon,” you greet.

“Hi Ms. Y/N. How are negotiations with your new client going?” he asks, adjusting his tie. 

“They’re going great, sir-”

And like that, he closes the distance, cradling your jaw before leaning in for a kiss. His hands salaciously trail down to your behind, giving it a light squeeze, causing you to gasp in his mouth. He takes that as an opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth, causing you to moan as your tongues rub against each other and-

Ding!

Once again, you scramble apart, separating towards each end of the elevator, recomposing yourselves while more people pool in. 

Not a soul would know what really transpires in the elevator everyday at 3:00 PM. 

-

Unless there were cameras in the elevator. 

Which there were. 

Which is crazy because of course there are cameras in the elevator, and quite honestly, you and Jungkook were probably aware of that in the back of your minds, but who cares? Making out with him everyday in the elevator at 3:00 PM is hot and it’s what gets you through the work day (until 3 PM)

You and Jungkook get Cc'd the same email from HR. 

Dear Employees, I hope this email finds you well. We need to discuss an incident observed via security cameras in the elevator involving two employees engaging in intimate behavior. This is a violation of company policies on workplace conduct. Please attend a meeting with HR to address this matter.

Oh shit. 

You and Jungkook wait outside the conference room to talk to the HR. You blink at each other, and honestly you want to burst into giggles, but the conference room is made of glass and you aren’t really sure who’s watching. 

The HR Manager, a tall lanky man, steps from the office and invites you in. 

The meeting isn’t awkward at all— in fact, it’s more straight to the point. Essentially, the HR manager says something along the lines of “You’re free to date in the office, but no PDA. We don’t encourage dating because we want our employees to focus on work. I know you guys are amongst the youngest in the office, so if you want to do–erm— that, then you can go somewhere else during lunch.”

Both you and Jungkook profusely apologize, promise it won’t happen again, and then are off on your ways. 

Funnily enough, the CEO stopped approaching you and calling you to his office so yea, neither of you quit your jobs, and Jungkook was overreacting, a little bit. 

-

Now, the real question remains. 

How do your friends feel about your relationship with Jungkook?

They want to see you happy, always, so that aspect brings them joy, but it’s important to address how things change. 

Before, Jungkook was the unattainable, hotter, older man that all your friends told you to get a grip over because there was just no way he’d ever reciprocate your feelings. But now, things are different. 

If Jungkook is your boyfriend, that means he’s your equal… so if your friends are your equal, does that mean Jungkook is equal to your friends? It’s just the transitive property of equality. If a = b, and b = c, then a =c. 

But that’s weird. 

You know you shouldn’t be making a big deal of it, but your friends are like little piggies and Jungkook is the wolf. There’s no way all of you could hang out at the same time without it being weird, because every time Jungkook has interacted with your friends in the past, it’s always been in a big brotherly way, not a friend way. 

On top of that, Jungkook has never officially met Heeseung or Sunghoon, and he is very much aware that Sunghoon was interested (and potentially still could be) in you, which is probably why you all are sitting around the sushi table in awkward silence. 

Soobin is hyperfocused on his the wrapper of his chopsticks, Beomgyu is repeatedly dipping his chopsticks into the Miso soup to lick at, Yunjin already excused herself to the restroom, and Heeseung is just staring at Jungkook in awe, which is understandable, because your boyfriend looks exceptionally handsome today. 

Yeonjun is probably the only one who can carry the conversation, mostly because he’s the most closely acquainted with Jungkook and his family.

You elbow Yeonjun softly and he clears his throat, “So, um– Jungkook. Does your family still think Y/N and I are together? Or have you already told them that you’re dating?”

Soobin finally says something, “Wait, why would Jungkook’s family think that you and Y/N are dating?”

“Just because I brought him to a couple family events, and they got the wrong idea,” you respond, delicately tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“We haven’t let them know yet,” Jungkook answers, stretching out his upper body, “I don’t think that conversation will go over smoothly because of the… age difference.”

Yeonjun nods, understanding, “Yea, and your little cousin might be upset about it too,” he adds. 

“Oh yea,” Jungkook smiles, addressing the table, “My little cousin is six years old and he’s got the biggest crush on Y/N. He probably won’t talk to me for a year once he finds out,” Jungkook says with a light laugh. 

Oh my gosh. This is so awkward. You inwardly cringe, but leave it to Beomgyu to ease the atmosphere. 

“It’s alright,” Beomgyu adds, “If you didn’t want her, Y/N would have just waited for your cousin to grow up cause at least the cousin likes her-”

You reach over the table to swat at his bicep. 

At that moment, the side dishes arrive: perilla leaves, radish kimchi, steamed egg, pickled cucumbers, and spicy bean sprouts.

Thank goodness the food is here, you think, even if it’s just side dishes. Yunjin returns from the restroom, seemingly renewed as she takes the space between you and Yeonjun, and she starts talking. 

“You know, Jungkook,” she starts, “Y/N really loves you. I, for one, am happy that you’re together. She’s been non-stop talking about you since high school. She showed up at my house crying when she heard you were bringing your girlfriend to Thanksgiving-”

You nudge Yunjin, a nonverbal cue to tell her to shut up. 

Jungkook awkwardly laughs, “Yea, I know Y/N had a crush on me when she was younger but I didn’t realize until a couple years ago… Anyways, Y/N’s not the same person she was when she was a high schooler. I fell in love with her after she turned 19, of course.”

“But isn’t that still a problem?” Sunghoon challenges, and your face almost drops. 

You know where this is going. 

“You knew her since she was a little kid, so isn’t it kinda weird for you to date her?” he asks. The question is innocent, and it’s a valid question, but you can’t help but squeeze your eyes shut in anticipation of Jungkook’s answer. 

“Some would say that,” Jungkook responds, “But our relationship isn’t about who she was. It doesn’t matter to me that she had a crush on me when she was younger, it’s about who she is now, and I love her as she is,” he finishes with a smile. 

Sunghoon nods, “That makes sense,” he shrugs. At that moment, you use your chopsticks to pick up the perilla leaves, which are, of course, stuck together. Sunghoon casually reaches out with his chopsticks, separating the leaves and plopping one into his mouth. 

You freeze, and you do what you should, placing the perilla leaf over Jungkook’s bowl of rice, and he almost immediately uses his spoon to swallow the perilla leave along with a spoonful of rice. 

No one seems to notice, and the conversation continues. 

“So what’s it like working with your girlfriend?” Heeseung asks casually, and the conversation continues, taking an upward trajectory, the atmosphere finally settling down. 

-

“He still likes you, Y/N,” Jungkook says matter-a-factly, hanging up his coat in his closet while you take off your shoes by the front door. 

You tilt your head, genuinely confused, “Who?”

“Sunghoon.”

You shake your head, dismissing the notion, “No, that was in the past. I heard he has a girlfriend now.” 

You join Jungkook in his bedroom and he’s staring at you incredulously. “Are you serious?” Jungkook asks, causing you to scoff, “Of course I am!” you retaliate, “He’s over me. I turned him down straight up; I didn’t even entertain his feelings for me. I told him I was in love  with you, remember?”

Jungkook's expression softens, and he takes a seat on his bed, “I know baby, but I’m just saying that he still likes you. Remember what I said?-”

“About me being an 11?” you question, amused, “Yea, nobody thinks that except for you,” you confirm with a nod, taking a seat on his lap when he opens his arms for you. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “I’m not saying it’s anything bad, and I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but I just want you to know that he still likes you. He even tried to give you an indirect kiss,” he says, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

You raise a brow at him, giggling at the tickling sensation of his lips ghosting across the sensitive areas of your neck, “An indirect kiss?”

“Yes,” Jungkook confirms, “An indirect kiss– the perilla leaf?”

You shake your head. You immediately recall a stupid conversation Jungkook had with his friends. “They peel off one perilla leaf, next thing you know, they’re holding hands, and fall in love, and they end up getting married!” is what he said, causing his friends to roll their eyes. 

You place a chaste kiss on his lips, “You’re stupid,” you giggle. 

He looks at you knowingly. Jungkook isn’t per se, worried about you and Sunghoon. He knows Sunghoon’s a respectful enough kid to not make a move, and he trusts you with his entire heart, soul, and being. He just wants you to know that Sunghoon most likely still harbors something for you.  

Of course he would. Like Jungkook said, you’re an 11. 

-

The delicacy of his feelings for you seeps into everything he does, especially when you’re sick. 

Nestled with your head cradled in the curve of his arm, he gently massages your temples with his right hand, ensuring the damp cloth on your forehead remains refreshingly cool, soothing your feverish brow.

You're drifting into slumber, your eyes half-closed as you softly shift against his embrace. With him around, with his fingers assuaging the ache in your temples,  you finally feel safe enough, protected enough to lose yourself in your own vulnerability and drift into dreamland. 

Later that day, you wake up with Jungkook right by your side. His eyes are on the TV and when he hears your soft mumbles, he welcomes you back to Earth. 

“Kiss me please,” comes out in a soft whimper. You’re barely coherent and you’re asking for a kiss? That’s the cutest fucking thing on the history of the Earth, and Jungkook’s heart clenches. You’re so sweet, so precious, and he’ll gladly oblige. 

He pulls you onto him so you’re lying directly onto him, your boobs pressed against his chest and your stomach pressed against his.

He kisses you sweetly, indulging you completely while your tongues intertwine, and he sighs into your mouth blissfully. 

At that moment, you hear the sound of a thud hitting the floor. You and Jungkook whip your heads towards the sound– it’s his parents. 

“J-Jeon Jungkook! What do you think you’re doing?!” his mother shrieks.

-

[mobbu-min]

☆ marry you ☆

(ft. the housewardens)

It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you.

In which, he overhears how much you want to marry him.

a/n: despite all the requests i have, i find myself writing more indulgent fics -sigh-

tw: cursing

Riddle Rosehearts <3

⋆ Oh dear, poor Riddle is beyond flustered. Hearing you so openly say how much you want to marry him and spend the rest of your waking moments with him makes his heart flutter and pound. Cheeks dusted a bright red and eyes dazed with a lovesick glimmer.

⋆ Riddle is beyond happy, yet incredibly nervous.

⋆ Marriage had been a thought that came to him occasionally. Seeing you in such a beautiful attire staring at him lovingly and saying you do. Wearing a ring he worked so so hard for. Kissing you lips to seal the deal, is something he would love to see.

⋆ Perhaps after he successfully gets his degree and starts his profession, he’ll indulge you. Get you the ring of your dreams and kneel in front of you in a garden of roses. Staring lovingly into your shocked gaze. A wonderful thought, no?

“My rose, although we are still young and still have much to do, I want you to know, in my heart and if life will allow it, my plan has involved you since the beginning. Ahem, in other words, please be patient, my dear.”

Leona Kingscholar <3

⋆ I feel like I say this all the time, but he’s a smug bastard!

⋆ Look, Leona has never thought about marriage, not that he’s like ‘ew, barf, marriage’ more like it's just not something that is incredibly pressing in his life. He remembers Farena and his wife’s proposal and wedding, and of course the countless of royal/nobel weddings he was forced to attend, but other than that, marriage was never a thought that crossed his mind.

⋆ However, when he began to go out with you, it had come across his mind once or twice. Especially on those days where the world seemed particularly against him and you wordlessly handed him food you lovingly prepared and fed him with his head on your lap. Or that one time, you asked him to teach you chess only for you to continuously fail and claim you’ll get better soon and the next week you came back with a smug look on your face and claim you’ve had help from the Chess Gods (riddle and youtube), only to get your ass beat again. Did that dissuade you? No, because you're persistent. Or the one time Leona had actually attended class and was bored as hell, only for you to tap on the window(successfully startling him) and telling him to meet you in five minutes at the botanical gardens. And the moment he arrived, you surprised him again with a cute little picnic and chess.

⋆ There, of course, were millions and millions of other reasons, but regardless, Leona wouldn’t mind marrying you.

⋆ And with enough persistence, he might just pop up the question sooner or later.

⋆ Too many things have slipped between his grasp, and he isn’t going to let you do the same.

“If you wanted me so badly, you could’ve just said so, herbivore. Ha, why so flustered? Cat’s got your tongue? Hm, c’mere…-yawn-…here, let’s get married.”

Azul Ashengrotto <3

⋆ Runs to his office to bring up his 10 year plan to change marriage from year 6 all the way down to year 2.

⋆ Like this man has already booked everything you could possibly want for your wedding. Clothing, flowers, venue and food, music and guests. Hell even, the cleaners are all booked and ready. He’s been planning it since your third date.

⋆ Call him hopeful, or delusional, or just plain stubborn, but Azul is dead set on having you as his spouse.

⋆ Azul is over the moon, everyone can see his change in demeanor. So much softer, a lot more lenient and a little more eager to spend his time with you. This change is welcomed by everyone, especially the twins since they see Azul’s change as a new tool to get what they want and tease him even more.

⋆ Azul loves you, so much that it hurts. So knowing that you want him just as badly as he wants you, makes him swoon.

⋆ Lowkey immediately called his mom that he got engaged (even though he hasn’t yet). Literally kicking his feet back and forth as he talks about you. Pure adoration slipping off his tongue, sweet like honey.

⋆ And you better get ready, Azul is making his proposal as romantic and mind blowing as he can. An event neither of you can ever forget.

“Love seeing you today, my sea angel. My, did you do your hair? New clothes? Oh, I see you’re wearing the earrings I got you, how lovely. -ahem- Forgive for getting off track- hm? W-why am I so red? Ha…no-no, I’m not sick, sea angel. I simply have big news to tell you.”

Kalim Al Asim <3

⋆ The only thing stopping him from proposing outright is that he doesn’t have the ring he has under his pillow for you!

⋆ Oh and ofc, jamil’s there. (silently cursing you out and congratulating you simultaneously)

⋆ He wastes no time proposing outright. With the help of Jamil, he manages to plan an ideal and romantic time and place to declare his undying love for you. A lovely, fulfilling meal made by Jamil in the candlelit dining room of Scarabia followed by a stunning flight through the night clouds with the moon’s soft gazing gliding over you. And at the oasis, next to the bushes of blooming desert flowers and the warm caresses of the heat, does he pop the question!

⋆ Kalim literally cannot thank the world enough for bringing you into his life. You’re his everything! He swears his heart beats for you and only you. That his life never truly began until you smiled so brightly in his direction. His ruby eyes struck with a shameless lovestruck gaze.

⋆ Kalim truly has never been happier than with you. And knowing, he’s able to keep his happiness and ensure yours is everything he could ever dream of.

“Marry me! … Huh? Why are you hiding? ..oh! Haha, I can’t help it! I’ve wanted to marry you since the day we met! I know you're the one for me! …hehe, I hope I’m the one for you!”

Vil Schoenhiet <3

⋆ How bold of you. Already demanding a proposal from the Vil Schoenheit. Goodness, have you never been taught any patience? Very well, let's see what he can do.

⋆ Vil already has a pinterest board of your future ready to go. Everything ready from the smallest detail. Similar to Azul, nothing will ruin his perfect day.

⋆ Of course, Vil has thought about marrying you. Though not until much later in life, he wants to pursue his career more and the thought of leaving you alone for many nights, leaves him with an ill feeling in his stomach. Surely, you’d understand the pressure of being a high demand actor/model these days, right?

⋆ Either way, Vil’s stuck with the idea for days. Often dozing off to the thought of you holding a bouquet of carefully put together flowers standing near an open window basking in the sunlight. Your hair is put up with a simple flower decorating your ear. A smile stretched ear to ear as you beckoned him near. Fixing his suit and kissing his cheeks, giggling sweetly and whispering as if you were both a lovestruck teen couple sneaking out at night.

⋆ Then he thinks of coming home after a day of interviews, coming through the door of his shared penthouse. Seeing you setting dinner up, a domestic sight to behold. The beautiful amethyst ring that adorns your ring finger glinting in the warm lighting. Kissing his lips and helping him sit down in his seat, carefully undoing his hair and massaging his scalp. He’ll hear you talk about your day, about the cat you saw, about the traffic you encountered on the way back from work and the cute kid you helped at the park.

⋆ That thought sounds so appealing, like an apple, red and ripe, beckoning for him to bite.

⋆ Eventually, it gets too much. His heart pounds and yearns to see you wearing the ring from his dreams, the ring he’s already contacted the most experienced jewelry maker in the world to make.

⋆ He’s like a ticking time bomb, simply waiting for a chance to prove his love to his dearest star.

“I’ve never believed in fairy tales, I’ll have you know. After constantly staring in productions of famous tales, the amazement and wonder of them has faded away. That’s not to say that I no longer love them, I just realized that I’ve been living that fairytale life I’ve read so much about with you… Don’t laugh! …heh, I suppose it is quite amusing, huh? My star, will you make my fairytale come true?”

Idia Shroud <3

⋆ Literally crashes!!! Stops working and Ortho, my sweet baby, has to haul his lanky ass to the infirmary. Like, he acts like he got shot at, then electrocuted then told to go take out the trash.

⋆ On a more personal level though, Idia is actually really apprehensive to marriage. He’s seen how cold his parents are to each other. The silent dinners, the cold stares, the heartlessness of their touch. Nothing about his parents screamed a loving and healthy relationship. Perhaps when he was younger, more hopeful, did he dream of a day where he would whisk his one true love away and live happily ever after with them and his brother.

⋆ To him, marriage is scary. Like scarier than public speaking, or an ultra mega level boss that he’s severely under prepared for! (ahem-malleus-ahem)

⋆ But that was ages ago, and that dream had long since died. Accepting that he’s destined for a life of solitude. Rejecting all human feelings for a way to protect himself, his heart, from both harm and harming.

⋆ However, Idia finds out that he can’t. Despite him feeling less than human most days, he feels the most human when he’s with you. And as much as he hated it at first, he can’t deny that he loves the way his cheeks flare and heart dances at the sight of you.

⋆ And all of his favorite shoujo anime always guaranteed a happy ending for the main couple. And let's be honest, you’re obviously the main character and Idia's more than happy being your love interest.

⋆ Marriage, although scary and frightening, doesn’t sound that bad if you’re the one he’s giving his life too. Sharing a life with you is more than what Idia thinks he deserves.

⋆ But a life with you is a life worth living.

“Huh? What is it? It’s a w-wedding v-venue, ofc! I t-thought w-we could p-practice, y’know?….You like it! How long did it take? …oh, well Ortho helped me a bunch getting it ready…Oh! Before we start, we need to wait for Ortho to log into Minecraft. He wanted to be the flower girl.”

Malleus Draconia <3

⋆ Babe, he’s been waiting for this!

⋆ Malleus has loved you since the moment you locked eyes. His heart was forever bound to you the moment you told him your name. Souls intertwined when you held him to your warmth. Fingers threading against his hair, and voice turned into a mere whisper as you proclaimed your love for him.

⋆ Malleus has loved you since the beginning and never once doubted it. Never once shied away from the thought of giving you his life. Malleus adores you and wishes for nothing more than to wake up every morning knowing you are his and he is yours.

⋆ A hopeless romantic, Malleus jumbles from proposing right then and there or giving you a night to remember. Ultimately going for the latter.

⋆ Similar to Kalim, he treats you to dinner then a stroll through a moonlit garden. Fireflies dancing around you both, humming and singing as they recognize the adoration and love swirling through the night air. Leading you to a clearing, he’ll dance with you. Twirling you around to the melody of his deep, soothing humming. Hauntingly enchanting. Bringing you into a sense of security.

⋆ His large hands caressing every part of your body. Pools of bright emerald gazing oh so lovingly at you. How he wishes he could immortalize this moment. In his mind, he works fast to paint down your sweet, endearing, expression to his memory. Each stroke of his mind crafting you so lovingly, never wanting this precious moment to end.

⋆ And of course, everything comes to an end. A sweet end for the night. One filled with joyous tears and hopeful laughter. A bright future ahead of you both.

⋆ A future Malleus is willing to fight for to ensure.

“This color will suit you perfectly, darling. Such a beautiful design for such a beautiful soul, no? Don’t shy away from me…See, such a pretty expression. Please, allow me to bask in every expression you’ll ever make, my treasure.”

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Reiner who uses his Titan Form to kidnap his beloved Reader (Like Beauty and the Beast) this can be before or after their revealed to be traitors to the Survey Corps

Reader has always been sweet, kind, gentle and much smaller and dainty compared to everyone else, especially to Reiner

Reader is female if that’s okay

I am such a Reiner fan it hurts.... I'm even more of a fan of Titan Shifters interacting with their obsession as their Titan.

Armored Beast

Yandere! Reiner Braun Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Violence, Murder, Delusional behavior, Blood, Manipulation, Forced relationship.

Reiner knew you were an entirely different creature than him, both literally and and metaphorically. You two aren't meant for each other. You're part of two different worlds...

Yet he still wants you all the same.

You're sweet, kind, gentle... like a sweet little lamb compared to him. You didn't look like you belonged among the cadets or the scouts. But, like many others, you were forced into the role.

No doubt due to his and Bertolt's doing.

Compared to you, Reiner's ruthless, intimidating, rough... a predator, a wolf. Despite such a nature he pretends to be like the rest of you. He pretends to be nice and friendly just like you...

A wolf in sheep wool.

Reiner didn't expect to fall in love with anyone when he came here. He had a mission he had to lead. All that mattered was breaking down the walls.

However, Reiner found himself drawn towards you. You were a cadet just like him, explaining your motives to join with such enthusiasm. You want to help people... you lost so much during the attack in Shiganshina.

You even asked him as cadets to help you train. You looked so determined to slay the beast who ruined your life. You lost so much to the Armored Titan...

You lost so much to him.

Reiner knew it was wrong to love you. You were an Eldian, a young woman trying to make a difference. You had no idea Reiner was the one who took everything from you.

He often scolds himself when he thinks of you fondly. You're a distraction. Plus, if he really loved you, he should leave you alone.

He shouldn't hurt you more than he already has.

Yet despite his attempts to ignore his feelings, you stuck by him. You were completely oblivious to his true nature... He should push you away. Instead... Reiner selfishly allows himself to be in your presence.

You always cared for him, you always clung to him. It never failed to make him feel heated. He enjoyed you so much he tried to delude himself to accept it.

Reiner desperately wanted to see himself as some armored knight for you. He wanted to be seen as your protector. When he was still a cadet and soon a scout... He enjoyed that role.

He loved to protect you... to ignore what he really was.

Unfortunately, Reiner couldn't ignore what he was forever. He's a Warrior, a Titan, a traitor.... He's an armored beast... not some knight.

He's a beast that's completely brought to his knees for one damn girl.

Reiner couldn't play your guardian forever. As much as he wanted to pretend to be yours... to pretend to be like you... He's too different. He isn't like you, won't ever be.

But like any beast... He's selfish.

It was only a matter of time before Reiner and Bertolt were found out. Annie was already caught and hidden away. Reiner knew he and Bertolt were on thin ice.

Once found out... Reiner had no choice but to fulfill the plan he and Bertolt were meant for...

It's been a long three years... it's time to go home.

The moment he was attacked by Mikasa after failing to recruit Eren, Reiner relied on instinct. For the most part he was focused on Eren. However... the eyes of the Armored Titan kept flicking around the battle as Eren tried to restrain him.

He wanted to know where you were...

He just hopes Bertolt didn't hurt you....

By the end of the fight full of punching and biting, Reiner was able to tear through the nape of Eren's Titan. The taste of blood stains his tongue as he does so, the blood immediately steaming upon contact with the air. Upon recovering and ripping Eren away from the steaming flesh, Reiner had one more target.

You.

Poor you attempted to take Eren from him, swinging around his Titan with your ODM gear. Reiner was already aware you were running out of gas and blades. Part of him still didn't want to hurt you...

He's denied himself long enough.

Due to the thick plating of his Titan, you weren't able to pierce his skin. Instead, Reiner tore the hooks you embedded out of his plating before swinging you in front of him. Reiner almost feels... amused when he sees the fear in your eyes as he holds you upside down.

Pity flickers deep within him before he cups you into his hand, shoving you against his chest in a temporary prison. Upon recovering Bertolt and Ymir, Reiner made a break for it. Now... Reiner shouldn't bother hiding himself from you.

He cares little for the amount of gore on his hands and feet. The other Scouts shouldn't matter to him. All he really cares about is you.

Scouts attempt to stop his attempt to flee, but he swats them away. If not, he crushes them to a messy red pulp. Their blood stains his skin... painting him as the monster he is.

It's not the first time he's killed. No, that was with Marco. He doesn't even feel all that bad about it now... that cadet was always too damn friendly with you anyways.

He doesn't deny such a part of himself anymore...

Now you'll know the truth... and you'll love him for who he is...

Eventually.

---

Upon reaching the Giant Forest, Reiner made sure to be careful with you. You were vulnerable in these woods. While Ymir and Eren, the other captives, were Titans... You aren't.

Reiner never left your side since he took you with him. As his body steamed, he watched you unconscious form. He had already broken your ODM gear... you can't run.

You need him.

Reiner viewed you as his beauty. He may be a monster, beast, and Titan... but you're his beauty. He needs you... and now you need him.

He's given up scolding himself. It doesn't matter now. Who cares what you think right now... That can change. In fact... it will change... he just knows it.

It's what's on the inside that counts... but for Reiner, what does that prove? Is he really a monster or just misunderstood? When you wake up... you don't think of such concepts.

You just see a traitor... a murderer... a monster.

Reiner tries to show you he wasn't fully lying to you. He still loves you! In fact, he can't get you out of his head. He just wants you... needs you...!

You've always been his girl.

Yet you slap him away, growling like a cornered animal. You scream that you hate him. That he's a murderer. He's much worse than a traitor in your eyes.

He ruined your home. He killed your family. He pretended to be your friend, to be all buddy buddy after creating tragedy.

He's your enemy. The very Titan that stole everything from you. You couldn't believe it...

Here he was, stealing your life yet again.

Reiner is quiet when you yell at him. He responds to it like a child being scolded by their mother. He's stoic, accepting your words. These are the very same words he said to himself...

Not like it stopped him before.

"What do you even want from me!?" You cry, staring at Reiner in front of you like cornered prey. You look so vulnerable.

You look like you're meant to be his.

"I want you." Reiner states simply, watching you shake like a wounded animal. "I'm taking you home with me... right where you belong as my girl."

You call him crazy. You say he's a crazy and delusional monster. He accepts your comments, he doesn't deny they're true. He is a monster...

A lovesick monster who's willing to kill hundreds with one stomp if it meant he could keep you.

Out of everything in his life, you are the best thing that ever happened to him. Meanwhile, he's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Yet again you two are opposites.

But you couldn't be more repulsed by him.

There isn't much you can do. You're surrounded by Titans and Eren doesn't look in the condition to shift again. You have no choice but to wait.

You can't do anything but sit and tolerate as Reiner caresses your cheek with an uncharacteristic softness.

"You don't believe I love you, do you?" Reiner whispers, his proximity blasting you with steam. You grimace, looking away despite his hand on your cheek.

"I hate you." You respond back, noticing Reiner's grip tighten for a moment.

"I... know you do." Reiner begrudgingly admits before gripping your shoulder. "But you'll learn I had no choice."

"You ruined my life... twice!" You yell, only for Reiner to shove you into his chest.

"Let me make it better, then." Reiner murmurs, pressing a kiss to your scalp. "Let me show you you're all that matters... That you're my beauty... My girl...."

"You're a brutal beast...!" You snarl, only for Reiner to cover your mouth.

"I know I am..." Reiner admits before leaning closer. "But I don't care... as long as I'm yours, I could care less what I am... just be mine."

"I would never." You seethe, Reiner seems to ignore what you said in order to pull you closer.

"You will." Reiner rebuts. "You will be mine and you won't have to worry about another Titan other than me ever again...."

You can argue all you want, nothing's going to shatter Reiner's little fairy-tale.

He'll take you home... get a house for you both... then live with you as his little wife...

He's a beast... yet you're his beauty... and he plans to get his happily ever after.

[lovingyoulovinme]

part 2 of childhood best friends!charles & y/n

part 3

2021

yourinstagram

Liked by arthur_leclerc and 86,893 others

yourinstagram happy birthday to my best friend in the whole entire world i love u charlie!!! this is only time of the year ill be nice to u 🫶🏽🫶🏽

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charles_leclerc You call posting that second photo being nice?? 😭

— View 129 more replies

yourinstagram i said i love you is that not enough

user7 I LOVE THEM!!!!!

ynfan y/n is the only person allowed to clown on charles

pascale.leclerc.355 🥹🤏

user2 he looks so good in the first pic omfg

pierregasly 🤣

October 16, 2021

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram and 432,577 others

charles_leclerc L.A. ❤️

View all 6,683 comments

yourinstagram i post such good photos of you and u post urself in those horrible pants..you'll be single forever

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charlesupdates LMAO get his ass

charles_leclerc Only need you 🤗

user1 DONT GIVE ME HOPE LIKE THIS

user13 does she have to follow him everywhere?

arthur_leclerc Thanks for the invite guys!!!

user4 who was y/n looking at like that

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yourinstagram the waiter bringing us our food

ylnleclerc get married already 🫣

December 4, 2021

2023

rubendias

Liked by masonmount and 538,838 others

rubendias 🤍

View all 3,589 comments

yourinstagram not enough pictures of me but okay

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rubendias Other pictures of you were not appropriate 🤣

user2 i cant stand them

yoursister she looks beautiful ❤️ and you're there...

jackgrealish Vacay is over..time to come back to training!

user3 i love when two sexy people date each other

sasha_rebecca Angel in slide 3! 👼😇

March 3, 2023

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourinstagram and 953,389 others

charles_leclerc Third in the main race today. Nothing we could have done more.

Thank you for the support and see you in Miami 🇺🇸

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ylnleclerc IS THAT A Y/N LIKE IN THE YEAR 2023

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user6 i'm literally in disbelief...

charlielover they def rekindled in february thats what im choosing to believe and now all we need is for them to follow each other again 🙏

scuderiaferarri 💪❤️

user8 not to sound delusional but i bet y/n is still so proud of him despite what happened between them 🥺

pierregasly P3 Baby 🏋️‍♀️

charlesfan proud of u for being able to take that horrible car past its limits

April 30, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by pierregasly and 197,288 others

yourinstagram happy birthday to my boyfriend!

View all 1,854 comments

rubendias Best birthday present 🤤

yourfriend you are so funny bruh

ynstan i could treat you better queen 😭

user2 pierre back in her likes.....im connecting the dots

pascale.leclerc.355 Beautiful 🤗

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yourinstagram thank you pascale 💓💓

May 15, 2023

yourinstagram added to their story.

May 21, 2023

dailymail

43,382 likes

dailymail Seems like trouble has hit for Manchester City player, Ruben Dias and his girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N 👀 The star snogs mystery woman on boat during holiday in Formentera despite his ongoing relationship with Y/L/N.

Comments on this post have been limited.

July 24, 2023

tags (tagging everyone who asked about a part 2/asked to be reminded!): @julesandro @tempo-rary-fix @briandaflores19 @fangirlika @escapism-writer @haloxmendes @leclerc16s @vita-di-moda

[pavosnoctua]

Please please please! Can I ask for yan!Neuvillette with dragoness!darling?? 🥺🥺

I like yandere!xYandere! Darling (I don't know why? I loved your Diluc x delusional reader)

Hello! Thank you for the wait!

Thank you!

cw: obsessive behaviors, possessive behaviors, general yandere warnings, abuse of power, afab reader, dub-con, fade to black, mentions of breeding, slight ooc, stockholm syndrome(?). the writer does not condone these actions, minors dni, mdni, yandere content, slight dead dove. if i am missing a tag, let me know!

Neuvilette is a...kind lover. In the sense he doesn't keep his darling trapped away in a luxurious home, and he allows you to go out and about, so long as you have some security detail with you. You are, after all, his lover and he wants to take the utmost care so you don't get hurt or get lost. You're just like him, in a sense, so of course he wants to keep you safe.

You tell yourself this every time - it's for your own good, for your own safety as you are like him. A dragon, a dragonness really, in human form but your eyes give you away and this makes you a target of nefarious people. Fontaine is full of crime, after all. Neuvilette is unafraid of using his status against you, spies everywhere. You can't escape unless you leave Fontaine, and you can't leave Fontaine because the world outside of the gilded cage of your home is dangerous and terrifying.

At least, that's what he told you. Look at how Fontaine is. Do you believe Sumeru, Natlan, or Mondstadt would be any better? You have me.

A dragon species is a rare species, hardly ever born - the details of it are lost to you and nobody explains it to you and Neuvilette seems to want to keep you from it. So, all you can do is rely on him.

He kisses you, softly, kindly, bringing you something he knows you'd love - his fingers running over your hips. He is a perfect lover, tender with you as he leads to your marital bed. Something happened in court today, something that set off his protective instincts.

Hunger is in his blue eyes as he kisses your lips until they're puffy from being licked and bit. Wet kisses press along your neck, hands rubbing at your thighs as he leaves red marks everywhere.

"You'll make a good mother," he groans as he grinds himself against you. If there's one thing that puts you both apart from the humans, it's how reproduction works. There's two penises and you're not sure you can take both or even just one, with how big he seems. "Gonna - make sure you never leave. I'll keep you and our child safe."

All you can do is lift your lips to help him remove your skirt - made up of highest and best quality.

"My beautiful mate." he groans as he pushes one dick inside of you, and you cry out. Neuvilette presses desperate kisses against your lips. "It's okay, my beloved." Your cunt clenches around him. "You were made for this."

You nod, weakly.

You are, you tell yourself. Neuvilette is a wonderful lover, he leaves you wanting for nothing. You are free to wandering Fontaine's streets so long as there is someone with you. You, one of the few rare dragons left in this world, just need the extra detail. And Neuvilette is making sure you're safe, you're happy, and the two of you are perfect mates. And the best you can do to repay this kindness is give him what he wants.

[tofics]

Broken - Chapter 6

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie have returned to Jackson when he finds you on patrol, half frozen and half burning up. Jackson takes you in and nurses you back to health, welcoming you as the newest member of their community. The more time passes, Joel realizes that you and him have more in common than he likes… Until one day, everything changes and you get a gift that he’ll never get.

Word Count: 3433 words

This chapter is very dark. Reader discretion is advised.

Warnings: violence (knife at throat, choking through knee on chest), clear intentions of killing, blood, clear mention of SA (usage of the r-word), panic attack, throwing up, cursing.

Chapter 6 - Nightmare Knocking On Your Door

"YOU." Spit flies from your lips as you scream into the man's face, foaming at your mouth. The knife you're pressing into his throat is already drawing blood, the blade pressed against the skin so tightly that it's being split open by the sharp edge. It's taking every ounce of strength in you not to slice him open right there and then.

You barely register his female companion crying out and staggering towards you before she's pulled out of your view. Then someone drops to their knees besides you. "Whoa whoa whoa, hey, why don't we put the knife away?" Tommy's voice is gentle, clearly meant to ease you down, but you only hiss in response, never taking your eyes off your prey.

You've waited so long for this moment.

You dreamt of it so many times; so many versions where the outcome is always the same: you, taking his life.

One Hour Earlier

Springtime in Jackson is nothing but beautiful.

Joel and you returned to Jackson a week earlier. Although your mission was unfruitful, you still came carrying gifts and trinkets. None of the ranches you hit up had any cows to offer, but a few of them still had quite a bit of resources scattered around to loot from.

Betsy received two relatively in-shape backpacks that you found, filled with all kinds of knick-knacks that can be helpful out in the wild.

The Tipsy Bison got a fresh batch of whiskey, found stashed away in what was presumably a 'man-cave' a long time ago.

The chalk, skipping ropes and board game you found went to the school where they're received with joy and excitement.

The thing you were most excited about though was a stash of Savage Starlight comics that you found in an abandoned library. When Joel told you about Ellie's love for them, there was no question that they'd be coming with you, weight be damned.

Ellie was ecstatic and wrapped you in a bear hug that made you all fuzzy and hurting inside at the same time. Despite the hurt, you hugged her right back.

Everyone else was grateful for their deliveries as well.

You've come to love this little town, there's no doubt about it. This place is as close to the old world as it comes, if someone put a spin on it and cranked up the equality setting. Everyone chips in, everyone gets something out of it. It actually fucking works.

It's always bustling, no matter the season, but now that the colors are changing from white and gray and brown to blue skies and green and specks of color here and there, provided by the odd early flower, it's almost something out of a fairytale. Some days you're convinced Snow White will come around a corner with a bunch of forest animals trailing behind her.

That's not to say life is easy. You're not delusional about the world outside of the town's walls, it's still an apocalyptic shit-show out there, run by raiders and infected. But it's out there and you're in here. In a community that looks out for its members. With a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. That in itself is already more than you allowed yourself to dream of for the past twenty years.

And yet, somehow, as if you weren't already lucky enough, there's Joel and Ellie.

Ellie with her infectious smile and silly jokes and ruthless honesty that seems way beyond her years and Joel with his... Joelness. The quiet exterior that hides more than you could've ever thought and somehow got lucky enough to become privy to.

Your life is bordering on being too good to be true. That, you're certain of.

And yet you can't help but smile, all the damn time.

It's like not only Jackson is thawing out, but so are you. Something that was buried deep inside of you is slowly resurfacing, breathing more color and life back into you with every day that passes. It's the most wonderful and scariest feeling you've come across yet.

You're on your way to the stalls, admiring Jackson's spring attire when you hear the commotion near the gates. One of the guards is shouting something unintelligible, closely followed by the tell-tale sound of the gates slowly being opened.

This is strange for two reasons. One, it's too early for patrol to return - unless something happened. Two, the guards wouldn't be yelling to open the gates for patrol - unless something happened.

Joel's on patrol this morning.

Apple still in hand, your feet turn the opposite direction from the stalls. You're running by the time you arrive at the small plaza in front of the gates.

Please, please, don't let anything have happened to him.

You're not the only person the guard's shouts attracted. A small crowd has formed in front of the gates, obscuring them from your view. People at the front are muttering, but you can't tell by their tone whether what they're seeing is good or bad.

Please, not Joel. Please.

Your pulse drums in your ears as you push through the rows of bystanders.

Not him. Anyone but him.

He is the first thing you see when you stumble out of the crowd, up on his horse and alive, thank God. Your eyes roam over his body to check for injuries, but you can't find any. Instead, your eyes stop on the hands wrapped around Joel's waist from behind.

What the...?

Your gaze flits over to the second horse that's carrying Jeff. He appears to be healthy too, thankfully, but there is also a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

"Who'd they bring in?," a voice sounds from your right, and it finally clicks.

Oh. They brought new people.

It's crazy how quickly you can go from being the new one to being one of the people in the face of strangers. A multitude of thoughts run through your head in the few seconds it takes for the information to register in your brain, ranging from 'Thank God Joel's okay' to 'I wonder whether they'll fit in', never once considering the fact that you're now on the opposite side of where you were a few months ago when Joel brought you in on that very same horse.

To the left of you, Tommy weaves through the people watching the action unfold and walks up to Joel's horse. They exchange a few words and you see Tommy nodding, first to Joel, then to Jeff.

"I guess that means they get to stay. For now," the woman next to you mutters. "For now?" You raise an eyebrow at her. "What does that mean?" She turns to you with a mocking expression that quickly fades when she realizes that it's you. "Oh. Yeah, guess you wouldn't know. Council's gonna decide whether they're a good fit or not. If not..." She shrugs, the implication of the words unspoken hanging heavy in the air between you.

It's never occurred to you before, but of course a place like Jackson would have a system in place that decides whether or not people are a good fit for them. Just because nothing was ever explicitly brought up to you doesn't mean that you never went through a screening process yourself.

Joel's passenger is revealed to be a very pregnant woman when he slides off his horse with ease. How she was even able to hold on to him with a belly of that size between them is beyond you, but it also answers any question about why Jeff and Joel decided to bring them in.

You watch as Joel and Tommy awkwardly help her come off the horse. "Phew, looks like she's about to pop any minute now," the woman to your side comments, and you couldn't agree more.

She is lucky they found her when they did, you think as the woman puts her hands on her lower back for support, visibly stiff from the ride and the extra weight she is lugging around.

Opposite of the little trio Jeff jumps down from his four-legged companion and extends a hand out to his own passenger. His help is accepted and - thump - the second stranger sets their feet on Jackson's ground. Jeff pets them on the back and smiles, and although you're too far away to properly hear him, you can practically read the words on his lips: Welcome to Jackson.

From the frame of the person, you assume it's a man, likely the second half of DNA that's currently cooking in the woman's belly. He reaches for Jeff's hand and envelopes it in both of his. "Thank you, man, I don't know what we would have done without you."

A sizzling pain shoots through your body and immobilizes you.

You know that voice.

It's haunted you in your dreams for years.

You'd recognize it anywhere.

Jeff and the man move towards the other half of the arrival party and you watch, frozen in place, as the back of the head turns into a side-profile until you're staring into his face.

Him.

The face of the one person you hate most in this world.

The face of the monster that is responsible for your pain. For her pain.

The apple in your hand falls to the ground and lands with a soft thud, but you barely register it. Time seems to stand still as your eyes lock on him, that face you'll never be able to forget.

Bile is working its way up your throat and filling your mouth with the sour and bitter taste of pure, unfiltered hatred. Your vision blurs and refocuses multiple times, his face going in and out of focus as if your brain is doing repeated double-takes, unable to process what you're seeing.

Every single muscle in your body is on fire, screaming a thousand silent cries that are only matched by the high-pitched ringing in your ears, so loud and deafening that no other sound comes through.

I will kill you.

The sentence is so loud and so clear in your mind that it snaps your body back into reality and time resumes.

In front of you, they're being welcomed, hands are shaken and pats on the shoulders are given out. "Wanna bet on when she pops?," you hear from your right but don't waste a single glance.

Your eyes are locked on your target.

You watch in trance - or like a predator stalking their prey? - as the pregnant woman and her accompanying monster are welcomed with open arms into your community, your safe-space until he turns to Joel and shakes his hand.

"No. NO!," you screech and everyone turns towards you, but your legs are already carrying you forward, your hands finding the knife that you keep tucked in your belt on their own accord as you beeline for the source of all your misery.

You see him doing the mental math of placing you. The initial confusion, the recognition that wipes the smile from his face, and finally, the fear that spreads in his eyes.

Good. Fear me, for I will be your death.

Tommy, who is closest to you, tries to step into your path. "Hey, what's goin' o-," is how far he gets before you push him to the side and lunge forward.

He goes down hard, despite his large statue, your knife at his throat.

"YOU." Spit flies from your lips as you scream into the man's face, foaming at your mouth. Your knife is already drawing blood, the blade pressed against the skin so tightly that it's being split open by its sharp edge. It's taking every ounce of strength in you not to slice him open right there and then.

You barely register his female companion crying out and staggering towards you before she's pulled out of your view. Then someone drops to their knees besides you. "Whoa whoa whoa, hey, why don't we put the knife away?" Tommy's voice is gentle, clearly meant to ease you down, but you only hiss in response, never taking your eyes off your prey.

You've waited so long for this moment.

You dreamt of it so many times; so many versions where the outcome is always the same: you, taking his life.

Tommy is still talking to you, urging and soothing words mixing into a slurry background noise. You briefly make out Joel's name being called, but you block it all out, a tight wall coming down in your mind to shut it all out. Nothing and no one will take this from you.

"Not fighting back now, hm?," you pant and lick your lips. Your eyes flit back and forth between his, soaking up the fear in them like dry ground on a rainy day. "What, fight's gone out of you that quick?"

He doesn't reply, he just stares back at you, something unreadable behind the panic in his eyes.

"Fight back, you coward." You press the knife harder into his skin, drawing more blood. He winces but doesn't draw back, nor does he make any attempt to fight you off.

After what he did? After what he put her through?

Here he is, at your mercy, and he won't even attempt to fight back?

It makes you furious.

"I said fight BACK," you roar and shake him, fist buried into his jacket. He thumps back into the ground and his head comes down hard, but his hands remain stoically at his side, not moving an inch besides the fists his fingers have curled into.

Instead, he opens his mouth for the first time.

"I'm sorry." The words come out in a hoarse whisper.

It's so far from what you ever could have imagined him saying in a moment like this that for just a second, you're taken aback.

Then an even deadlier rage overtakes you.

You pull him up by his collar until your nose meets his nose. You stare into his eyes, making sure he truly sees you as you speak your next words.

"You don't get to say that to me," you hiss out between clenched teeth. "Not to me, when you should have said it to her, you fucking piece of shit!"

You slam him back to the ground and add a knee to his chest, pressing him into the dirt. It delights you, the way he's struggling to breathe under your weight. The fear in his eyes slowly grows into panic with every hitched breath he tries to take.

"Give me one good reason why I should let you live," you snarl.

He's panting now, wincing when you add more pressure on the blade at his throat.

"One good reason for why I shouldn't slice you open right here, right now."

The woman he came with screams at your words. It's shrill and piercing and filled with so much fear for him that you can only shoot her a quick look of pure disdain. How could she be worried about the life of a monster?

He holds your gaze and you can see it in his eyes, that slow shift from panic to begging, and you can't help but laugh. "Pah!" You spit onto the ground next to him. "That's what I thought."

You raise your knife to deliver the final cut that will take his life when he suddenly speaks again.

"She's alive," he sputters and heaves for air.

You freeze in your spot, knife hanging mid-air.

"Say that again." Your voice is low, threatening. He eyes the blade, then quickly looks back to you.

"She's alive."

You lick your lips as your eyes feverishly move back and forth between his, trying to detect signs of the lie you're sure you're being told.

"Hey," a low voice says next to you, the first one to get through to you since you've tackled this monster to the ground. "Hey," Joel repeats and you feel a gentle hand on your back, but you don't move, don't look away from the scum in front of you, frozen in action.

"What's going on?" Joel's voice is as gentle as the hand on your back, but you know him well enough by now to hear the concern in his voice, try as he might to conceal it.

He waits for your response, his hand burning on your back like hot iron. A few moments pass as the thoughts race through your brain.

"Why should I believe you?," you finally spit out.

His response is as simple as it is logical. "What do I have to lose?" His voice is raspy from the lack of air in his lungs. "Why should I lie to you, when you would kill me anyway?"

Your breathing is almost as labored as his. Your pulse is drumming in your ears, drowning out your thoughts and making it hard to think. Next to you, Joel says your name.

"Location." It's a clear order from your lips.

"I don't know." The words are barely out of his mouth when you respond with a croaky laugh, ramming him into the ground once more.

"You filthy piece of shit, of course you don't. Because you're lying." You raise your knife again, but then your arm is obstructed, caught mid-way by a strong hand.

"Joel, let go," you hiss but he doesn't budge, just shakes his head. "Not like this. Not here." He cocks his head at the crowd that's gathered around you and you realize everyone's eyes on you for the first time.

No. No, this is all wrong.

"You don't know what he did," you cry out, suddenly desperate to make him understand that you have to do this, that no matter what, you can't let him just walk away, not after what he did to her.

"You'll tell me. He won't get away." Joel's free hand gently wraps around the knife in your hand. "Ain't that right, Tommy?"

Your vision is starting to swim at the bottom as tears are flooding your eyes. Joel's gaze stays locked on yours, his eyes communicating more to you than his words ever could in this moment.

Trust me, they're saying, and despite every instinct in you screaming at you, you feel your hand releasing the knife.

"I got you."

Joel's eyes never leave yours, not when he gives the knife to Tommy, not when he gets up and lifts you with him, not when both his hands wrap around your elbows and lead you away from the scene, from the crowd, from him.

"Tell me what I need to know."

You're behind the town hall, just far enough to be out of sight and earshot of what's happening in front of the gates. Joel's hands are still on you, though whether he's keeping them there to keep you here or to steady you, you're not sure.

He's watching you intently, waiting for you to offer up an explanation, but the words are getting stuck in your throat, too thick and heavy and laced with pain to come out.

A sob breaks through your panicked breaths and you tug on your arms, wishing to be loose so you can pace about, but Joel won't let you.

"Tell me, babygirl. Tell me what I need to know." His voice matches the urgency in his eyes and another shrieky sob escapes you.

"He did that to her," you finally press out, a whispery shriek that cuts through your chest like a hot knife through butter.

"Did what, baby?" Joel coaxes you, his voice soft but serious, concern etched into his eyebrows.

Tears are running down your cheeks as images of the worst moment in your life flicker across your vision, the monster's grin taunting you like a horror mask as he's hunched over her, his hands digging into the flesh on her hips like she's not made of flesh but of dough.

The bile comes up so quickly that all you can do is turn your head to the side before it shoots out of your mouth. You vomit into the bushes, one of Joel's hand rubbing your back while the other holds your hair, soothing sounds coming from his lips that do little to stop your stomach from emptying all its contents into the green foliage.

You let yourself slide to the ground when there's nothing left to vomit up anymore, breaths heavy and sharp in your ravaged throat.

"He raped her, Joel. He raped my babygirl. Right in front of my eyes."

Series Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

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[suiana]

✎ yandere! writer headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― delusional yandere, obsessiveness etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! writer who made you his greatest creation. you were exactly everything he wanted, everything he needed. you're his beloved little main character, the love of his life.

✎ yandere! writer who didn't know when the lines between adoration and obsession mixed. he used to see you as just his character, now he wants nothing more than to keep you by his side.

✎ yandere! writer who cries himself to sleep every night, knowing you'll always simply just be a character he created, never real to anyone but himself. why couldn't you be real?!

✎ yandere! writer who is taken aback when you're standing in the middle of his bedroom one morning. eh? did he... did he drink too much last night? why are you standing in his room? you're so warm though... so soft, so beautiful- and he got slapped by you! so you were real! his prayers were answered!

✎ yandere! writer who deludes himself into thinking you came for him, that you loved him just like he loved you. so he keeps you in his house, never allowing you to leave despite your protests.

✎ yandere! writer who eventually caves and allows you to go out, he has to come with you though. you complain and nag him, you came to this world to save it from a disaster! not to be locked away like some damsel in distress! your writer thinks otherwise though. even though he wrote you to be badass and for your novel to be action based.

✎ yandere! writer who prevents you from helping that train passenger who got shot by a tall and handsome cat human hybrid. oh... so it looks like you weren't the only creation that came to life. it looks like everything jumped out of the books... welp! time to head back home where the both of you will be safe! and just like that, bam, you got knocked out and he dragged you to his home where you'll stay forever.

✎ yandere! writer who locks you in his room, never allowing you to leave while an apocalypse goes on outside. you can't even escape, this man knows all of your weaknesses! he's your creator after all. all you can do is hope that some god takes pity on you and curses your creator to fall out of love with you. but I doubt that'll be happening anytime soon, your creator is the writer of this book too after all.

✎ "y/n! you can't go out! you'll die! you can't die! writing your first death in chapter 7 already made me more than traumatized! so just... just stay with me here, we'll be safe. I promise."

[yanderestarangel]

☆ Yandere Edward Richtofen x FTM reader ☆

Tw: Sex, unprotected sex,afab reader, fem anatomy, sub!edward, bottom!reader, smut, light yander themes.

He's sick for you, like, sick as fuck.

He worships you as if you had some kind of power over him, at first he thought you were even a being from another dimension to have that power with him.

But not.

You were just a boy lost amid hordes of zombies like him.

In addition to having been exposed for a long time to the compound

Edward wasn't very sane since college, which made his yandere tendencies worse with you.

You weren't allowed to leave his side, he would be a mess, a mix of whiny puppy and sarcastic madman with everyone around him.

Even the others knew that the best thing to do was to let you close to Edward so he could work well.

Edward met you when you accidentally fell into some kind of portal to your reality.

He offered you help in exchange for sending you home again.

You just needed to scare away zombies along the way.

Edward was enchanted by you, you were the most beautiful boy he had ever met in his life.

He was even thinking of never letting you go.

And he did.

But before he got to know you as a normal human being.

Edward will try to court you normally.

He will get to know you, your likes, flaws, what you love or hate, and mentally write them down.

He will also flirt with you, but it's so bad it comes off as a joke, Edward knows this and does it to make you smile.

If you tell him about being a trans kid he acts indifferent.

His reaction is literally:

"-That's cool... Where were we?"- and goes back to talking about the machine he's repairing.

He'll also give you little touches if you use a breast bandage.

He is a doctor he knows very well the effects and damage that all that can cause.

The others don't stay close to you because of your guard dog Edward.

He even threatened to break the machine just because you and Nikolai were laughing together.

He is extremely possessive.

He and you would have some kind of relationship.

Something like a friendship with benefits maybe.

Yandere Edward! It is of the Yandere mousse type, that is, it is a soft Yandere but more dangerous when it wants to be.

He can give you the whole world if you ask him to, he would literally kneel at your feet and serve you with anyone's head, you just ask.

But he also takes it from you if you're not good with him or try to run away.

Yandere Edward! Is submissive with you on all scales, he is most comfortable with you on top of him.

Either on top of your dick or sitting on your face.

He asks you to put all his weight on it and sit on it like a chair.

He's a masochist too, he loves it when you deprive him of cum or use ropes to tie him up and do bondage.

He is a giver.

He loves to butt heads with you.

You are Yandere's one and only! Edward.

If you've already had a partner, he'll be even more possessive.

In sex he will beg while he eats you from behind for you to say it's only him while squeezing your hips.

If you say it he shakes and falls on top of you babbling words in German.

"-I-I-I adore you so much...I would literally rip my heart out and give it to you, kneel at your feet and kiss the ground you walk on."

I would literally do anything for you.

Anything."

He would talk while shaking and feeling you cry underneath him.

He is also delusional.

So if you plan on just sex he would be pretty pissed off locking you in some shed safe and sound.

If you fought he would tie you to a chair and stare with piercing, sick blue eyes:

"-I really would hate to hurt you but you don't give me any other choice darling."

He would brand you too, maybe a few scars for every tantrum you throw.

[mcverse]

ꨄ︎ Paring: Rotxo x Adopted! Sully! GN Reader

ꨄ︎ Requested: Yes/No

ꨄ︎ Type: One Shot

ꨄ︎ Word count: 4.8K

ꨄ︎ Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, requited love, mention of you. Not really mentions of reader being female so I changed it to gn. Safe for 17+ to read. Not proof read, possible spelling mistakes.

please keep in mind that all characters in my stories are always 18+

How can one miss someone who was never theirs to begin with?

Perhaps you played yourself, allowing a delusional desire to take root, hoping against all odds that he could be yours. Lost in a dense fog of denial, you knew deep down that this kind of love was never meant for you—that it wasn't directed your way.

Ever since you and your adoptive family arrived in Awa'atlu for uturu, you have all been in the spotlight, but some receive more attention than others. Sadly, the attention you crave the most is effortlessly bestowed upon your sister. His oceanic eyes gaze at her with the intensity you wish he would reserve for you, overflowing with adoration and admiration. It feels almost criminal to witness someone being worshipped so deeply, while she remains completely oblivious to his love.

How can you ever find the words to tell him that every night, as you lay beneath the sky's embrace, peering through the cracks in the mauri, your thoughts are consumed by him? With each star you count, you offer silent prayers, hoping that a shooting star from the tales of old tawtute will streak across the heavens, allowing you to make a wish, fully aware that it will revolve around him.

He was the sun that illuminated your days when they felt impossibly dim just by a smile sent your way, and you were the moon, forever drawn to his orbit, seeking a place in his world. The farther he seemed, the closer you yearned to be, until the yearning became insatiable. You craved his warmth, his light, wanting nothing more than to bask in his radiance. Your existence revolved around him, and with every passing day, the desire to bridge the gap grew stronger. Closer and closer you wanted to get, until the closeness became enough, until only your love for him was enough.

You're unsure how you came to love him so deeply, and it pains you to part ways even briefly. Eywa herself knows the internal struggle you endure when you watch him fade into the distance, vanishing without another word, with your concealed emotions left unspoken.

He was kind, supportive, and courageous—a formidable warrior among the people, a remarkable friend within your youthful circle, and a well-suited potential partner. You wish you could rid yourself of your feelings for him, much like the way he yearns for your sister, but his qualities are impossible to overlook.

Your heart tightens each time you witness him trailing behind her, wearing the most beautiful and genuine smile, calling out her name in gleeful laughter, "Kiri! Where are you headed?" as he dutifully follows her, unaware of the effect it has on you. He would likely follow her to the ends of the earth, and you’ll understand because you’ll do the same.

You often found yourself lost in a tumultuous sea of thoughts, seeking solace by the ocean's edge, far removed from prying eyes. The weight of your emotions became overwhelming, making it agonizingly difficult to confide in someone, fearing their judgment and the damning label of selfishness.

Yet, can it truly be branded as selfish when it's painfully evident that Rotxo yearns to court her, while she remains oblivious or so it seems? What if she truly knows and deliberately keeps him dangling on a string?

Great Mother, your love for your sister burns with an intensity that knows no bounds, but does she truly grasp the power she holds—the power to choose between two hearts held tenderly within her hands? The weight of that choice is immense, leaving you in a state of anguished uncertainty and bittersweet longing.

Then, whether through a twist of destiny or the compassion of Eywa, Rotxo mustered the courage one day to reveal his feelings to Kiri. To your surprise, she was completely unaware of his intentions, blissfully ignorant of his affection towards her. It seemed her attention was focused on another, a fellow female Na'vi within the village. How Rotxo missed that detail remained a mystery, but he wasn't the only one caught off guard. The news reached your ears when Kiri returned home, her expression filled with solemnity.

At first, you struggle to contain your bubbling excitement. It felt like Rotxo was finally free, and a glimmer of hope sparked within you. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something between you two. However, as Kiri proceeded to explain his reaction, a wave of guilt crashed over you. You realized that you had unwittingly taken his pain and transformed it into your own joy, and the weight of that realization bore down heavily upon your conscience.

That night, sleep escapes you, and you found yourself restlessly shifting in bed, tormented by thoughts of Rotxo. His once charming smile was replaced with a frown in your mind's eye. It unsettled you to the core, knowing that he was burdened with sorrow while you held onto a glimmer of hope.

Reality struck hard—you understood deep down that there was no possibility for you and him. He had just experienced rejection, and pursuing another romantic endeavor would be the least of his concerns. The gravity of this truth kept you awake, lost in contemplation throughout the night. Eventually, you abandon the pursuit of sleep and ventured to the shoreline, where you wandered along the edge of the ocean, sinking your feet into the soft sand as you sought solace in the rhythm of the waves.

Eventually you reach your usual spot, a quiet place for reflection, you freeze in your tracks. Your expectation of finding it deserted is shattered by the sound of gentle sniffles. Someone else seeks refuge there, their emotions overwhelming them too. A bittersweet warmth fills your heart, realizing that this place offers comfort and solace to others who grapple with their own feelings. Though your initial instinct is to respect their privacy and leave, your intention wavers when you hear his voice—his familiar voice that stops you in your tracks.

His voice trembles with vulnerability, as he opens up about his pain and heartache. The rawness in his words sends a surge of emotions coursing through you. You stand there, hidden from view, listening intently as he pours out his feelings. Every word he utters resonates with your own hidden desires, with the longing you've kept locked away.

An uneasy feeling begins to wash over you, as if you are trespassing on his intimate moment. You recognize that these words were never meant for your ears, that he did not willingly choose to confide in you. Caught in this dilemma, you find yourself torn between respecting his boundaries and offering a comforting presence. Yet, you cannot bear to leave him in such a vulnerable state. So, with cautious steps, you retreat to the entrance and clear your throat, hoping to make your presence known.

His glossy eyes shift in your direction, and the sight tugs at your heartstrings. It stirs within you an overwhelming urge to rush to his side, to wrap him in a warm embrace and assure him that everything will be alright. But you hold yourself back, restraining the impulse. Instead, you offer him a gentle smile, your voice soft and tentative as you speak up, "I'm sorry... I don't mean to intrude, but... are you okay, Rotxo?"

His gaze lingers on you, caught off guard by your sudden presence. He takes a moment to collect himself, his voice trembling as he responds, "Not really." He lowers his gaze to the ground, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

Frowning, you move closer, squatting down beside him on the ground. From this vantage point, you peer at him under your lowered lashes, your heart betraying you by racing at the proximity. You curse the timing of these feelings, fully aware that now is not the moment to indulge in personal desires. Your sole focus remains on providing comfort and support.

"Why are you crying?" you ask, although the reason is painfully obvious. You choose not to spell it out, allowing him the space to share what he wishes.

He presses his lips together, taking a slow, steadying breath before he responds, his voice barely above a whisper, his voice barely above a whisper, his body slumped with sadness.

"Kiri didn't tell you?" he murmurs, his words heavy with a mixture of pain and confusion.

Naturally, she did. She was your sister, bonded by a deep connection whether by blood or not. It was evident that the weight of her own struggles had become too much to bear alone, leading her to confide in you, and for that, you were grateful. But now is not the time to reveal that knowledge.

“No,” you furrow your brows, gulping as you consider you answer, “She didn’t. Should she have?”

Your question hangs in the air, masking the truth that you hold. You tread carefully, protecting your sister's trust while trying to offer him the support he seeks. You wait, holding your breath, aware that his answer will shape the course of this vulnerable moment between the two of you.

Finally, he breaks the stillness, his words faltering as he reveals, "I... I like Kiri..." His eyes shift away, avoiding direct contact.

You offer a subtle nod, acknowledging his admission. "I know," you respond softly, holding more understanding than he realizes.

His ears flick up before lying flat against his head, sinking his face into his hands as he groans in exasperation, "So it was obvious to everyone except her?" His eyes welling up with tears once more.

Your willpower to respect his boundaries crumbles in an instant, overridden by your overwhelming urge to provide comfort. Acting on instinct, you step into his personal space and wrap your arms around him, seeking to offer solace and support. You understand that apologies can come later; right now, all that matters is being there for him, as he has been for others in their moments of sadness.

He tenses at the unexpected contact, momentarily pausing in his sniffling. But then he returns the embrace, holding onto you tightly and burying his head in your shoulder. The wetness of his tears dampens your skin, a physical manifestation of the depth of his need for comfort, perhaps more than he even realizes.

"I'm sorry she didn't see you the way you saw her..." you murmur softly, your hand rubbing his back in a soothing motion, akin to a mother comforting her child. It feels fitting, given the sense of family that he most-likely come to associate with you.

"I feel so stupid," he whines, his eyes tightly shut as he shuffles closer, seeking more solace in your warmth. It's as if he has been deprived of it for so long, though you know that cannot be true. His parents were present. His self-blame stems solely from the rejection he has faced. "I... I should have noticed the signs... I should have."

Shaking your head softly, you offer reassurance, "She didn't give any signs. You weren't the only one who didn't know,” you pause to ponder you next words, it’ll be a risky statement given the circumstances but maybe you were selfish if you did, “Maybe if you did, you could have found someone who’d reciprocates your feelings.”

"Nobody would want me after this. It's humiliating," he practically whispers so low you’ll miss it if he wasn’t this close to you. His sniffling has long subsided as he rests his head on your shoulder. His arms loosen their grip, hanging loosely around you, "I wouldn't want me."

Your heart aches at the sight of his self-deprecating words, the pain and insecurity etched on his face. Without a second thought, you gently push him back, your hands resting on his chest, a small act of resistance against his negative thoughts. His swollen, confused eyes meet yours as you lean closer.

Placing a hand on his thigh for comfort, you let your voice carry the weight of your words, "Never say that about yourself," you say firmly, your frown reflecting your deep concern, "Rotxo, you are so much more than this moment of rejection. You deserve love just like anyone else. Don't let this define your worth."

Your fingertips caress his cheeks, radiating warmth and tenderness as they glide along his skin. A softness lingers in your touch, an unspoken reassurance that you offer with every stroke. Despite the tremor that quivers through your own hands, a testament to the emotions swirling within you, you remain steadfast in your mission to uplift his spirits and kindle a flicker of hope within his wounded heart.

Truly, it was right there before him, concealed in plain sight, much like it was with Kiri. You can't help but marvel at the irony of it all, how easily the heart can be blind to what lies just beyond its reach. Yet, a tender fondness washes over you, an understanding of his innocence and his unwitting ignorance of the precious connection that beckoned him.

Perhaps, you think, it's for the best that he remained oblivious for now, as the pain is still fresh and tender.

"Do you really think so?" he asks, his eyes filled with wonder and a glimmer of hope, desperately seeking validation in your response. As you nod and offer a soft smile, his face lights up with a genuine smile, the first of the day. Excitedly, he pulls you into a heartfelt hug, his pure nature shining through. This man is truly a gem.

You find yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions as you reflect on the situation. It perplexes you why he seemed oblivious to the impact he had on your heart. Taking a deep breath to steady your racing thoughts, you decide it's time to bring this poignant exchange to a close.

Clearing your throat, you slowly rise from your seated position, your gaze momentarily avoiding his captivating eyes that shimmer in the gentle moonlight. The silence between you stretches, filled with unspoken words and lingering emotions.

"I think it's best if we both make our way back," you say, your voice carrying a tinge of melancholy and unrequited longing.

He reciprocates with a gentle smile, its genuineness captivating you, even in the midst of this tender farewell. A subtle nod of understanding passes between you, both acknowledging the intricate complexities of the moment.

His voice resonates with heartfelt gratitude, softly punctuating the stillness that envelops you both, "Thank you."

With those words lingering in the air like a whispered promise, you reluctantly part ways, each step carrying the weight of unspoken emotions. The night embraces you, wrapping you in its embrace as you find comfort in the knowledge that you were there for one another, if only for a fleeting moment.

Little did you know, it was far from being the last encounter.

The following morning arrives, and you attempt to steal a few extra moments of slumber, seeking refuge from the complexities of the previous night. However, your peaceful interlude is shattered by the persistent calls of your mother, who reminds you of the responsibilities and obligations that come with being a member of the Metkayina. The demands of productivity override any personal desires, and you resign yourself to the tasks that lie ahead.

You decide to embark on a fishing expedition, a familiar ritual that brings level headedness and nourishment. Equipped with your trusty net, you make your way to one of the favored fishing spots, immersing yourself in the tranquil waters. The cool embrace of the water fails to deter you as you wade deeper, determined to fulfill your task and provide a bountiful catch for your family.

After a while of not catching anything in your chosen fishing spot, you decide to relocate. Fortunately, the change of location proves fruitful, and you're grateful for the decision as you witness a group of male Na'vi engaging in animated conversation, their attention fixated on Rotxo and his fishing prowess.

A sense of amusement washes over you as you realize his popularity. Who would have thought?

Without a second thought, you find yourself wading through the water towards him, unintentionally interrupting the tranquility he sought. "Looks like you've got some admirers," you playfully tease, you playfully tease, coming to a halt a few feet away. He turns to you, confusion evident in his eyes.

"What do you mean, (Name)?" he asks, genuinely puzzled. But his confusion quickly fades as you gesture towards the group of Na'vi, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. He takes a step back, shrugging his shoulders, a slight frown forming on his face. "They've been there all morning. Just gossiping, I suppose."

A surge of annoyance wells up within you, no longer able to tolerate his self-doubt. "Enough of that," you assert, your voice carrying a deep resonance. "Anyone would be lucky to have you... including myself." The words slip out in a mumble, almost lost amidst the sounds of nature. Whether he catches your confession or not, he remains silent, stealing a quick glance in your direction before returning his focus to the task at hand.

A comfortable silence envelops you both, accompanied by the gentle lapping of waves and the occasional splash. Surprisingly, the absence of words doesn't create any awkwardness. It's a stark contrast to the usual giddy and somewhat nauseating feeling you experience in his presence. Perhaps the brief but meaningful connection you shared the previous night has brought a newfound ease and comfort when it comes to being around him.

You feel a gentle yet firm grip on your forearm, halting your motion of throwing the net once again. Turning your gaze to the source, you find Rotxo standing beside you, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he observes your fishing technique. His eyes sparkle with amusement as he takes hold of your hands, his touch sending a tingle of warmth through your skin.

Curiosity dances in his eyes as he asks, "Who taught you how to fish?"

You can't help but feel a touch of self-consciousness, looking down for a moment before meeting his gaze. "I actually taught myself," you admit, your voice carrying a hint of bashfulness.

A knowing smile graces his face as he replies, "That explains your stance. You won't catch many fish like that." He moves closer to you, his body language open and inviting. His question hangs in the air, and you find yourself captivated by his presence, eagerly granting him permission to guide you.

"I don't mind," you respond, your voice filled with anticipation and curiosity. With your consent, he takes the lead, positioning your hands and adjusting your body to align with his preferred fishing method. Every touch, every gentle adjustment, sends a jolt of electricity through your being.

"I must say, I've caught plenty of fish on my own," you playfully interject as he pulls away, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

He nods, his gaze transitioning from your hands to your eyes, a silent understanding passing between you. "I have no doubt about that. But the way you were doing it would have taken much longer," he remarks, a hint of admiration evident in his voice.

With his guidance, you make several more attempts, each time incorporating the adjustments he has shown you. It's a delicate dance of coordination, a symphony of movement and shared intention. You feel a sense of connection and trust building with each throw, as if you are moving in perfect harmony with each other and the rhythm of the water.

Time seems to melt away as you continue fishing together. Conversations flow effortlessly, laughter echoes through the air, and a sense of peace envelops you both. The symphony of nature's sounds—the gentle lapping of water against your legs, the rustle of leaves in the breeze, and the occasional splash of a fish—accentuates the tranquility of the moment.

A bittersweet ache tugs at your heart. You wish you that this would be the last time similar actions would be like this, that it’ll be easier to let go than to hold on to a love that can never be fully realized. It's a torment, a constant battle between the longing in your heart and the rationality in your mind. Each passing day spent in his company, teaching and bonding, feels both like a gift and a cruel twist of fate.

You had made peace with your feelings long ago, even before he confessed his love for Kiri. You had resigned yourself to the fact that friendship was the only path you could walk together, no matter how much it pained you. It was a choice to preserve what you had, to savor the moments of joy and connection, even if it meant treading a delicate tightrope of unspoken desires.

"You're spacing out again," Rotxo's voice breaks the spell of your thoughts. You find yourselves back at the familiar spot, the place where platonic confessions were made, now a couple of months later. Time has slipped away swiftly in the company of the one you love.

You let out a soft hum, meeting his gaze with contemplation and unknown affection. "I've been doing a lot of thinking," you confess, your voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty.

Curiosity flickers in Rotxo's eyes as he tilts his head, genuinely interested in the thoughts that have consumed you for so long. He has always respected your privacy, refraining from prying into your inner world. Yet, an undeniable concern gnaws at him, a desire to understand and offer support. You both have become pillars for each other, leaning on each other in times of need.

"Is it something troubling?" he asks, his gaze unwavering as he waits for your response.

“I think that depends on how someone sees it…” you trail off, sensing a shift in the atmosphere. The conversation takes an unexpected turn, and a wave of apprehension washes over you, making you hesitate to continue. You can't quite put your finger on it, but something feels different about this discussion, and it makes you reluctant to delve deeper.

"Will you tell me?" he whispers softly, his voice filled with concern and a touch of vulnerability. The genuine care in his eyes urges you to open up, but you find yourself momentarily speechless, unsure of how to express the conflicted emotions swirling within you. You don't want to burden him or risk jeopardizing the friendship you hold dear.

For a moment, silence hangs in the air, and he senses your hesitation. Worried that he may be crossing a line, he considers dropping the subject altogether. But just as he's about to let it go, your voice finally breaks through.

"I don't think I can continue to be your friend... I feel guilty," you confess, the words escaping your lips, filled with sadness and regret.

He shifts in his seated position, giving you his undivided attention with a serious expression. What could you possible feel guilty about? You haven’t done anything to him, he was pretty sure of that. If anything, you have been becon since his rejection, guilt was the last thing he expects you to feel. Unless it’s something he doesn’t know about.

"Guilt?" he repeats, his voice gentle yet tinged with confusion. "What is it that makes you feel this way?"

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you try to find the right words. "It's these... feelings I have," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Feelings for who?” he wasn’t aware you had sometime you liked. And knowing that made him uncomfortable in his chest. It was a familiar feeling—like his heart has dropped to his stomach. A gasp leave Shia lips as you continue, his heart beat picking up.

“For you,” you express, looking eyes with him, “I’ve always liked you and I was content watching from afar. Then we started getting closer and my feelings gotten stronger. It’s became harder for me to ignore it. I can't help but feel guilty for having these emotions while knowing they may complicate our friendship.”

A faint smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he reaches out, his hand gently holding yours, a comforting gesture that you hadn't even noticed was trembling, “I think—no, I feel the same way,” he reveals.

Your eyes widen, your face flushing with warmth as you process his words, "You what?"

"I like you too," he confesses, his voice growing a little louder, “It took a while for me to realize it but when I did, I was scared that—uh, that another situation like before would happen again.” he moves to interlock your hands, lower his head bashfully as you’ve done in numerous situations.

You stare at him, your mouth hanging open in astonishment. "Do you really?"

His eyes meet yours, filled with warmth and fondness reflected in their depths. "I first noticed it when we were going to gather some fruit," he begins, his voice laced with a sense of nostalgia, "My stomach felt funny, and I couldn't help but feel excited when I saw your own excitement.”

He scoots closer to you, his shoulder gently brushing against yours, sending a delightful shiver down your spine. Your heart skips a beat, captivated by his closeness and his words.

"The first time my heart raced, I was scared and confused," he continues, his voice soft and filled with vulnerability, "You weren't even around, but it was as if you were right there in my thoughts. It took me a while to understand what those feelings meant, but now I do. I like you, more than ever. "

His eyes never leave yours as he speaks, and you can see the depth of his sincerity. It's a moment of shared revelation and vulnerability, a connection that goes beyond words.

A smile spreads across your face, mirroring the joy that fills your heart. "Me too," you whisper, your voice filled with an undeniable certainty. The weight of unspoken feelings finally lifted, replaced by the exhilarating realization that your feelings are reciprocated.

"I thought I misheard you when you said you'd be lucky to be with me," he chuckles, leaning his forehead against yours. "Little did I know, it would actually be the other way around."

You close your eyes, giggling softly at his words, flattered by his belief in your worth. "I see you," you whisper, too shy to meet his gaze. It feels surreal to hear him express his feelings so openly.

He gently releases your hand, his finger lightly tapping your cheek to get your attention. "Look at me," he insists, his voice filled with tenderness. "Tell me when you look at me."

With a bit of reluctance, you open your eyes, feeling a flutter in your stomach as your gazes meet. The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver of excitement down your spine, and in that moment, you realize that this is not a dream—it's your reality. Before you can utter a word, Rotxo beats you to it, leaving you breathless.

"I see you, (Name)," he says, his words overflowing with sweetness and sincerity. It shocked you that it was directed at you. Nearly felt like a dream if he didn’t plant a wet kiss on your nose, forcing you to wrap your head around that this was real, that he was there with you—not with Kiri or any o the other Na’vi woman.

Just you.

"Would this make it awkward, liking you after..." he starts to ask, his voice trailing off, unable to find the right words without it sounding off.

You shake your head, dispelling his concerns with a reassuring smile. "She'll understand," you assure him, confident in your response.

Because even though Kiri may have been oblivious to Rotxo's feelings, she had an inkling of your affection for him. That fateful night of raw emotions and a little too much alcohol had led to a heartfelt confession, revealing the depths of your feelings for Rotxo. In that moment, Kiri had grasp the truth, and though unspoken, an understanding had silently formed between you.

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[childofthewolvess]

Becoming open and loud about being a pagan & witch is scary. But what makes that any different than a Christian being open and loud about their faith?

This is for any pagan, witch, or practitioner that may be in a similar situation as me; where it is perfectly safe to be loud and proud about identity and religion, but for some reason, the fear of being judged still lingers.

I am participating in ancient practices that long pre-dated Christianity, my morality and purpose is centered around my religion. It's very important to me. It connects to every part of my being, and I've been dedicating my life to nature itself for years upon years. Though I constantly reassure myself I am definitely not the only pagan in the world, nor my country, and definitely not my state, I sometimes feel as if others view me as "crazy" or "delusional" when they hear about my faith. There is stigma that comes with saying you're a witch; perhaps it is because I grew up in a military culture where I was surrounded by the normalcy of Christianity, or it's internalized fear of judgement since I'm a tour guide and my salary is reliant on how I am perceived by the public eye.

06/02/2024: Gratitude and Faith

Yesterday, on my tour, I listened to the two sweetest ladies talk about how thankful they were for the Christian God & Jesus (capitalized out of respect for their religion). These two women were in tears looking at the beauty of nature and speaking on how grateful they were to experience God's gift. They talked to me about one of their grandsons, who was a priest who dedicated himself to "our lord and savior Jesus Christ." They were so proud of him and his dedication to the Divine. They talked about guardian angels and how they must've been blessed today, with all the amazing wildlife we'd seen on the tour. I smiled. It was wonderful hearing how proud they were of their faith.

I paused underneath a pine overshadowing my van while my tour was exploring by themselves. I thanked my deities, especially Apollo, for healing my sore throat to allow me to storytell on my tour, and Loki, for the beautiful chaos of nature itself. I thanked Ares for his strength to get through the 10 hour day while struggling with my disability, and Aphrodite for her beauty and charm that allows us all to express our love toward the beauty of the mountains. I thanked my familiars for being my guiding light my whole life, for running alongside me and teaching me the way of the wolf, for dancing through my storytelling and protecting me.

In that moment, I realized it: we're not all that different. Those two ladies, thanking their God and angels, are not at all different than me, thanking my gods and guides. In fact, the only difference itself is the system we each believe in, but somehow, across both drastically different religions, we equally found gratitude for the mystical speaking through the natural beauty of the physical world.

It gave me hope.

If these two ladies, living by God and Jesus's word their whole life, didn't receive a blink of an eye at their deep gratitude toward their faith, then neither should I. Why should I worry about being open about my identity as a pagan, when I don't blink an eye myself at another person's dedication and faith? What makes me, as a witch, "crazier" or "delusional"?

And that's just it: nothing does. It's a stigma existing within myself and within society to fear others that are unlike us. An instinct. As humans, the unfamiliar and mysterious frightens us; including the beliefs of our fellow humans, because if we don't believe what they believe, what is to say that our or their belief is wrong? But that's just it: there is, and never has been, a wrong and right in religion.

It all boils down to gratitude and happiness. If you are happy and content with your faith, then why hide? Why hide, when it is safe to express your love for your religion, when it brings joy to your life and possibly others?

That's just it. You don't hide, if you don't need to.

I decided yesterday, I won't hide anymore. There is nothing for me to fear but the judgement of others, and the only judgement that matters in my life is my own. I will be loud, I will be strong, and though I don't feel the need to convert others to my religion, there is something special about explaining how my faith brings joy into my life and shapes my moral trajectory. There is nothing wrong with expressing it. I would never judge another person for finding beauty in their religion and gratitude amongst their faith. So I won't fear myself finding beauty in my religion and gratitude amongst my faith.

[williaml0ver]

☆ <3 The way to a Forward's heart - a William Ellis story ☆ <3

[🖇️] word count: 4204 JESUS. That's a record, and i thought my Kevin fic was long...

[🖇️] warnings: g/n reader, William is sad 😔, but it's very fluffy, not proofread, not historically accurate ijbol, several cameos at the end

[🖇️] a/n: soo i have been recently experiencing a small burnout because real life has been a lot stressful lately BUT i really wanted to pull something out since it's been already a whole month since my first post ‼️ I swear it took me over a week to surpass the 1k words border, but i randomly felt inspired (possesed?) and pulled out 3K MORE on a single day... never doubt a delusional William Ellis lover. thank you guys so much for the support!! It really encourages me!!!! today i am delivering a William fic!!!!!!! It's so long hello??

☆ ☆ ☆

You weren't exactly sure how you ended up in this mess. But were you complaining?

"Hey... is it me or did the air get really, REALLY stinky right now?"

"OH MY GOD WILLIAM"

It all began when your boyfriend came back from a challenging match. Happens to the best of us. Constant body blocking, healing and of course rescuing his teammates, not to mention the desperate kiting til his final breath - he ended up chaired and no one came to the rescue! No matter how embarrassed the rugby star felt, it wasn't rare for survivor teams to go down like that. You've even heard that Eli, the seer, ended up under Emily's worried eyes, she apparently had to patch him up! You knew he was a very advanced player, so those news made you realize how serious that was. And your William?

You found yourself crotcheting a cute little scarf from scratch after discovering that this form of activity effectively made you relax. It was very helpful during those trying times. The piece of fabric you were using was very soft and had a beautiful salmon colour. With some schlagers playing in the background from the gramophone player Miss Nightingale gave you you've found yourself in your own small world. It was your way of escaping from reality, the strange place you've found yourself in.

Suddenly, loud steps could be heard from outside of your dorm. It was no one else than William Ellis himself! You felt thrilled to see him again. Truth is, the last time you've seen him was just a little over an hour ago, but you just can't help it. Being this giant man's lover meant receiving a lot of affection, you can't deny that you became a lot more clingier than you usually were after getting together. Due to regular training he was very buff, but you're sure his heart is even buffier. The needle in your palms was sloppily placed on top of the wooden desk as you quickly came to the doors. You couldn't contain your happiness and just tightly hugged him, but what you didn't see at first is how absolutely wasted he looked like. You thought to yourself how suspiciously silent your man is right now. That's unusual. Most of the times he would try to make you smile, tell you some goofy joke, slightly overdramatize his heroic attempts at rescuing. You then looked at his face and felt mortified. He had a big bruise on his right cheek and had several dirty stains on his face. Not to mention the small trail of blood coming out of his mouth....

It wasn't long until you started leading him to your shared bed and told him to sit. Yes, he was very sweaty, stinky and dirty, but that didn't matter currently, you would have to clean it sooner or later anyways. You weren't sure what to do at first, so you allowed him to decide what's next. All he did was request you to let him place his head on your lap, to which you happily obliged and began carefully petting him by his long hair. William then kept silent, as you didn't want to force him into speaking. After some time, you've got up and looked inside your small drawer. There were some emergency leftover bandages, plasters and a gauze. You got them, and with your boyfriend's permission you started cleaning his wounds and taking care of them, of course, all of them received William's favourite, most effective cure - a kiss. When you started disinfecting that nasty scar on William's cheek he started smiling a little. While you could tell he was drop dead exhausted, it made you relieved to see him calmer now. You placed a few plasters with Hello Kitty and Minions on his arms and nose, you've then felt his muscly arm pulling your head for a kiss. That's the good old William.

After a while passed, he started opening up to you, talking how terrible the match went, how he blames him for everything that went wrong. It made your heart ache hearing how he thinks he failed his teammates, how he failed Eli. Most of the times after a lost match you'd find him cheering and hyping up the others. Though, sometimes he could also have worse days, when he was feeling blue, thinking how they could win if he did a few things with a different approach which of course was normal and understandable - but you were having none of it. During moments like this, you would always try your best to cheer William up. He deserves so, considering how thoughtful he is to towards everyone. How thoughtful he is towards you.

"William, look at me, I know... it's okay..." you've put your hand on his healthy cheek. Each time he'd have you whispering comforting sentences into his ear, he felt like someone above sent him an angel to support him. Most of the time, the forward would quickly cheer up, but today was diffrent. Feeling your hand on him, feeling your kisses, hearing your words, following your eyes... he felt like something broke inside him. He started to tear up. Even for him, sometimes the matches in the manor could be overwhelming - having people trust you is both a blessing and a curse. You felt bad for him and a little ashamed yourself because you weren't exactly sure what to tell him. You ended up saying nothing, with William, words aren't needed. All you had to do was to be there for him. You stayed together cuddling in silence for over twenty minutes, yet to both of you it felt like a few seconds. You realized that William's clothing is dirty, usually, he wouldn't care, but you're sure he must be feeling nasty right now.

After undressing and freeing his from the heaviness of his clothes, your boyfriend felt much more comfortable. You then told him to lay on the bed, and after a few small kisses you began tucking him in like a child. You both have a huge collection of funky, extraordinary blankets, pillows and plushies - they all made your room much more comfortable and cute! Your eyes softened seeing him covered by all the duvets and comfortable fabrics. Not long after, you grabbed your favourite dinosaur plushie, mr. Rex, who was of HUGE size, almost as tall and big as William, you always took good care of it. The plushie meant a lot to you - since William once won it for you during a summer festival. You placed him on the right side of your bed. Quickly after turning off the gramophone and closing the blinds on the windows you went straight to lay with William. With you on his left and mr. Rex on his right he finally felt at peace for the first time this day. There was a small smile showing on his face. He felt grateful. After exchanging a few i love you's and cuddles he fell asleep. Usually he would pull some stunts to stay up longer with you by provoking tickle or pillow fights. He must have felt terribly tired.

You spent some of your time simply watching him and considered falling asleep as well, his arms were real free estate. Yet you couldn't help but think of how to cheer your dear boyfriend up. He'd definitely appreciate if he woke up to something nice. After a small brain storm, you decided to bake William his very favourite threat - a cherry pie. Your speciality. To be honest, you didn't know if it was your speciality because you were good at doing it, or because your boyfriend always devoured it as if it was final meal in this life ever. Either way, it did get Naib's and Mary's stamps of approval, so you were quite sure of your skill. Those two could be VERY picky on bad days, and they happened often.

It was finally time to get up. You had to be sneaky enough to leave your bed and avoid waking your boyfriend up. Thank God William fell asleep before you, otherwise he'd have a death grip on you. You waited a few more minutes to make sure he's in deep slumber and got out very slowly and carefully. You replaced yourself with some other plushie and wrapped the scarf you were previously working on around him. He looked absolutely cute. You were ready to get to work. You've went to your wardrobe and put on your favourite scarf on your head - so your hair won't make it's way into the food and put on a matching apron with some funky embroidment of it. If William was up he would probably be praising you for like five minutes. Truth is, he'd be all over you even if you wore a potato sack. Now, you could finally head to the manor kitchen.

The kitchen itself had a very relaxing feeling to it. It reminded you of your past life, no wonder you'd often find yourself helping all the servants making mealss. It radiated comfort among several soulless corridors out there. The kitchen's the heart of the whole house they say. Now, the cherry pie... you had to admit it was a fairly old fashioned recipe, a time consuming one on top of that - but it was worthy because your boyfriend love it. Well, he does like anything baked by you... or at least he tries. He even ate up your whole cake, which was entirely burnt at the bottom with a straight face. He may be an athlete, but one thing he can't deny is that he loves your cuisine. Quickly, you've began searching for needed indegredients: flour, cherries, sugar, butter... seems like everything was prepared! You were just about to do the first step and pull out the pits from the cherries when you heard footsteps that were approaching. Turns out it was Emma coming your way, asking for help. You weren't surprised though, all those huge sacks with garden soil could be very heavy, therefore you ended up offering the girl a helping hand. It can't take that long. The cherry pie can wait, right?

...Right??

Bump... bump... bump...

William has woken up due to weird noises coming from his neighbour's room. Seems like Ganji felt like relaxing and throwing his cricket ball onto the wall, the ball would jump back to him, creating a painful butterfly effect. Ganji was a good friend of William, but ugh! He will have to talk to him about it later, what's important right now is his precious love. He felt like he didn't express his gratitude to you when you took care of him after that terrible match. Facing mr. Rex, he turned the other way with closed eyes and gave you a gentle kiss. But hold on...

"Uhhhhhhh... what the heck?!"

The forward groaned, opened his eyes and saw a medium sized, green neon-like colored bear. You either left him while he was sleeping, or some evil witch turned you into a plush bear as revenge and now he had to take care of you, hopefully, it's the first option. William noticed he has a warm, pinkish scarf wrapped around his neck, hmm, wasn't it the one you were working on when he entered your shared dorm already one leg in his coffin? He smiled to himself. It was time for him to return the favor, but first of all, he had to find you.

William stormed out of his bed, quickly tucking mr. Rex and the green bear in. He put on some random clothes and his bunny slippers. After leaving his room, he started checking every possible place you could be in. Annoying him with Ganji? Nope. Playing with dolls with Memory? No. Thirdweeling Ada and Emil? No! Learning italian with Luchino? Neither... You've lately befriended Annie, maybe you're at her place? No, she told him she hasn't seen you. On a walk? He looked through the biggest windows in the manor, he couldn't see you admiring the greenary anywhere. So where could you be? At some point, he was just aimlessly walking around the corridors. He was supposed to give up already, but just when he was walking back to your shared, William felt a little hungry. He decided to sneak into the kitchen and grab some snacks from the refrigerator, he's lately thought about eating some of Naib's favourite gingerbread cookies, the mercenary won't notice if a few them will go missing, right?

Walking into the kitchen, William saw a few indegredients on the table, but there was no one else here. The servants have a day off, so who's taking care of this? Despite the products looking awfully familiar, he couldn't put his fingers on who exactly is behind this. Well, he wouldn't know if he didn't see a piece of material hanged on a wooden chair. It was a scarf, it was bright blue with some cute white embroidery on it.... that's your scarf! Suddenly, everything clicked. You were baking his favourite treat for him, or at least William hoped so. A light blush appeared on his cheeks. He felt very fuzzy inside.

You must have taken a break, the forward said to himself. He then felt like surprising you. Maybe he could help a little...? He's seen you baking a cherry pie a few times, the products are already there, he more or less remembers the procedure. It can't be that difficult! William wore an apron with some corny saying on it, it belonged to Luchino - he liked cooking fun lunches together with Robbie, but he was sure the lizard man won't mind it if he cleans it later. He was actually a very polite man against all odds. Truth is, even with an apron on, he still wasn't properly dressed, he's going to end up very dirty. But does it matter if he's about to spend some quality time with his dearest beloved? He took a deep breath. Alright. What was the first step...? Oh yes! It was the crust. William did all in his power to try to be as accurate as possible. It would be kind of embarrassing if he messed up his lover's hard work... he finally began mixing all the products. The crust ended up looking nice. The kitchen was much messier than when you were making one, but at least it didn't explode! What was next? He was pretty sure you usually would take the pits out of all cherries. Alright...

Helping the gardener took you a hot minute, but you managed to live through it. The clothing of yours was now a little dirty, and the exposure to sun made you sweat, but you were glad to help. You were coming back towards the kitchen, but something felt slightly off... you could literally bet you heard some annoyed grunts. Oh my, did the servants take over the kitchen? Weren't they supposed to have a day off?! Whether yes or no, you knew you had to step in before they did anything. Expecting the worst, you took a deep breath and went to the kitchen. To your surprise, there were no servants. It seemed like there was just you and your thoughts. At least you thought so. Something certainly happened here. First of all, there were many flour stains on the table, no, everywhere, besides, you've noticed an opened package of butter. Hey... how on earth was the pie crust already prepared? Did someo- WAAAH!!

You've suddenly felt a hand grabbing you from under the table and let out a diabolical scream. At some point, you were just about to call someone for help, this felt like a horror scene where some evil demon chases it's victim and later sacrifices their body to some ancient deity. Despite strange, scary stuff happening in the manor, you were still terrified, untill you noticed the hand looked strangely familiar... is that..? The arm was very bulky. Hold on, William?!

Seems like your bonding time with Emma took way longer than expected. Suddenly, all in his glory with a huge grin, William crawled out and stood up. He was wearing some loose clothes and a ridiculous, stained red apron with "KISS THE COOK" sewed onto it. He looked very amused knowing his trick worked out, meanwhile you were convinced he's going to tease you about it until the very end. First things first, you reached out and gave the cook himself a kiss on the mouth. You found it sweet how he wanted to help. William always wants to lend a hand, even if you're the one helping him at times. Not only that, looks like he also memorized the recipe?! You don't own a cookbook or anything, he must have learnt some things while watching you baking many times before. The crust was already finished and the pits were almost all freed from the cherries Sure, the flour maybe was all over the kitchen, the pits were pulled out a little messily, but did it matter? You were happy you could spend time together with your boyfriend. Give him a few chances and he'll be your best "little" helper in the kitchen. The entire process of baking your pie went swiftly. With William, everything is much more enjoyable. He would spin you around during random moments, smear a little flour on your face. give you pecks on your cheeks and sing out loud. Little did you know, the silly "flour attacks" from his side were the beggining of the end.

Everything was done. The pie just had to grow and warm up in the oven.

"Allow me, gorgeous."

William put on baking gloves on his hands and picked up the pie. He then put it inside. You loved how confident he attempted to look, despite this being his first time. Cutie. You gave him yet another kiss on the lips. He loved those little moments.

Now, it was time for the longest process - waiting for the pie to grow. William couldn't contain his excitement. You exclaimed that he can help you clean up the kitchen. Time will surely pass faster, but William had a different idea. A VERY mischevious one on top of that...

"William, love, i've brought two brooms. Here's one for y-"

You couldn't finish your sentence, since suddenly you were attacked with grains of flour. William burst out with laughter and exclaimed you not only have an expression as if you saw a ghost, but also look like if you were on. That guy... you took a sack of flour and counter attacked. You knew he could get very competitive during such play fights, even you don't get a "significant other treatment". He has no mercy, especially on you.

The fight lasted LONG. Even your scarf couldn't secure your hair from being filled with flour. Good luck with cleaning it later in the bathtub. Your face was entirely white, you were sure you looked whiter than Andrew himself right now. Your clothes, your everything was covered in flour, and so was William. He sat on the floor and let you sit on his lap. You though the war was over, until even more flour landed on both of you. It was Robbie! The fight resumed for yet another few minutes, until the three of you grew tired. You on William's lap, Robbie in yours, he was the first one to fall asleep. Not only the three of you were full in flour, so was the kitchen, you will surely get scolded. Honestly, you have no idea how no one has yet noticed the fight and put an end to it.

"I love you." Said William, holding your hand, he then began feeling a strange smell...

"Hey... is it me or did the air get really, REALLY stinky right now?"

"OH MY GOD WILLIAM"

It was the apple pie! William quickly wore the gloves and took it from the oven. It was black like charcoal, not to mention the smoke. The two of you were coughing like crazy, meanwhile Robbie was sleeping, unbothered by the event. William did feel somewhat responsible for what happened. He put one of his hands behind his hair and started rubbing it out of embarrassment. You both sat dawn on the floor again.

"Y/N, listen baby, i'm sorry... we just had so much fun together, i forgot about the pie. It's my fault, i shouldn't have helped you..." he looked like a sad puppy which has done something bad.

You reassured William that he shouldn't blame himself. It was an accident. They happen to everyone. Sure, the pie may be ruined, but we had a lot of fun while baking it. That's more important than some stupid cake. And while you DID worry about cleaning the kitchen, you didn't want to make William even more sad. Besides, you've heard that, apparently, Annie and Tracy created a weird machine that helps you clean - it sucks out all the dirt! Or at least they said so... wasn't that called... a vacuum? William eventually cheered up a little thanks to you.

"Sleep, i'll help you cleaning up after we wake up from a nap." He murmured, trapping you in his arms.

You weren't exactly sure how you ended up in this mess. But were you complaining?

The first person to notice the absolute mess in the manor kitchen was Helena. She was supposed to make some tea for herself, but she quickly forgot about that after seeing the three of you asleep together, tons of flour EVERYWHERE and a burnt pie on the table. Yuck. It wasn't long until she called for a few residents to help her. She's heard William had a difficult match today and thought you wanted to cheer him up. She didn't have the heart to wake you up. A few minutes later Martha, Tracy, Annie, Kurt, Xie and Fan appeared. Their reaction to seeing the kitchen wasn't much diffrent from Helena's. They all agreed to help you and cheer the both of you up. But first, they had to get rid of that mess.

While Annie brought with herself that strange thing named vacuum, Tracy proudly explained to the two brothers and the explorer how it operates. Helena on the other hands put earplugs into your ears.

"Are you sure that creation of yours isn't going to explode? This place already looks like a battlefield." stated Martha. One way or another, her question wasn't answered, as the invention began working. The rest grabbed grooms and proceeded to help, while Kurt went to the hunter part of the manor to notify that someone should pick little Robbie up. He eventually came back with Michiko. Not much later, the kitchen looked, well, not shiny clean, but clear enough. Kurt then suggested to make a cherry pie from scratch again. It was not an easy thing to do, but everyone agreed and did everything in their power. In the meantime, the Wu Chang brothers decided to take you somewhere comfortable. Your butts will hurt if you'll sleep on the floor too long. They weren't sure where your shared dorm is located, so they brought you to the living room and placed all of you on the sofa. Helena then covered you with a warm blanket.

After some time, the pie was finally ready, and the kitchen squeaky clean. They all sneaked into the living room and placed a cloth onto the table, and put a huge, fresh pie on it. Michiko made tea, even Naib helped and shared some of his snacks: cookies, leftover cakes... everything looked delicious. They all sat on their chairs, waiting for you to wake up.

After the three of you regained consciousness, you weren't sure what's going on. You were in a completely diffrent place, surrounded by so many people. Mmmm.... what?!

It appears they saw you laying on the floor and wanted to cheer you all up by making a new pie. This one was even bigger than yours! On top of that, there were also other sweets. The table looked quite rich. Sure, you probably still looked like clowns, with so much flour on you, but that won't stop you from having fun. Later on, even Eli, Emma, Norton and Emily joined the meeting. You appreciated the gesture from everyone else. Everyone had a friendly conversation with delicious food on their plates.

Suddenly, William sat up and took a cup of tea.

"I... i would like to make a toast!" everyone, including you, quickly stood up.

"A toast for my loveliest, prettiest, smartest honeybun, Y/N!!!" he cheered loudly.

You were stunned and quickly began to blush when William grabbed you by your waist. It felt so embarrassing, yet you felt flattered. So loved. Everyone took their teacups in their hands and celebrated. The atmosphere was lovely!

The party lasted for a few hours. You even managed to forgot about the mess in the kitchen, Tracy however explained how they cleaned it up, thank God. You were thankful to your William and your friends.

"Hey, Annie, mind explaining to me how that... vaccuoom works?" you asked...

☆ ☆ ☆

I can't believe i've wrote something so long help. Fun fact: I bake on like a weekly basis but i've actually never seen a cherry pie with my own eyes, i was just listening to Cherry pie by Sade and was like yeah it fits... anyways i had to watch some tutorials on how to make one so i can know what's going on 😭😭 By the way pookie if you are reading this I'VE SEEN YOUR GANJI REQUEST I WILL GET TO IT LATER... (the one i received two weeks ago, not the one i got today, but i'll get into that one as well dhdhdjej) anyways, thank you again for all the support. wishing all of you a good day or night☺️

[yanderes-galore]

Another for Overwatch. Lifeweaver with the Black Swan skin with the Darling being the white swan, a scenario please! Kinda like the one you did for Widowmaker some time ago? -🐈

It won't be exactly like the Widowmaker one but I will try to do something similar. WE NEED MORE LIFEWEAVER, OMFG!

Monochrome

Yandere! Black Swan! Lifeweaver with White Swan! Darling Short/Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Courting, You're implied to be animal hybrids, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Violence, Murder, Blood, Mentions of "mate", Forced relationship.

Niran has managed to find beauty in everything that this world has to offer. He himself is a beautiful creature of nature, yet so ostracized from his kind. Swans are meant to have sleek white feathers... his are a midnight black.

Even though most of his kind has shunned him, he still managed to fall in love. Niran has a knack for admiring beautiful things. You happen to catch his eye.

Technically there isn't much different about you compared to all the other swans. You're a white swan with feather that glow when the light hits them. Yet despite this... you managed to catch the black swan's heart.

Perhaps it was your nature that drew him in, your kind personality despite his differences. To Niran, you two are the only swans that matter. Two monochrome beauties living in a world of endless beauty despite the cruelty that festers within it.

You may just be trying to be nice... but it's enough to have Niran attempting to court you. While you merely want to offer friendship, Niran is prepared to shower you in black flowers he's created and charming words. Two different beings... two different wants...

Two... two... a monochrome relationship.

Some may see him as tainted. Some may criticize him. However, Niran has learned not to care.

Why should he when he has a beauty such as you in his sights.

You poor thing continue to give Niran your kindness. You allow the outcast to enter your nest and give you all sorts of goods. Clearly he's courting you.

You keep trying to dissuade his courting but Niran never listens. It starts with charming words and gifts. Near the end it becomes him grasping onto you with a possessive grip as he presses himself against your back.

"We're perfect." Niran says to you as he nuzzles his face into your neck. "We can build a new nest together... we'll be beautiful mates."

All it takes is a little kindness before Niran is preparing a nest. He wants to match the beauty you both have... which is why he wants you to join him. You two are the best pair... no other swan can compare.

Spurred on by his fantasies, Niran is quick after his courting to take you home.

It doesn't matter if you've said yes or not. Indulging him has sunk you further and further into a trap. Far as he knows, you two are mates for life now.

Niran keeps you in your new nest and encourages you to help him decorate it. He prevents you from leaving and acts possessive when another swan enters his territory. After all... his pretty little mate doesn't need to move z feather.

Niran doesn't mind being an outcast. It just means he feels a whole lot less empathy when he kills rival swans. You may look at him in fear when he's covered in red... but he washes himself well.

Niran continues to court you for about a year. It takes a year before the nest is fully developed. In fact... swan couples are in a honeymoon phase for about a year.

Hopefully in a year you will no longer need those chains.

Hopefully afterwards... you can even mate with each other like proper swan couples! Niran will wait as long as he needs to. Yet he admittedly gets excited at the thought.

You begin to lose yourself as Niran coos over you. He praises you... courts you... loves you. He holds and kisses you, treating you surprisingly well despite the blood on his hands. Soon, all due to your naive mistake, you finds yourself sinking into his dark nature.

Niran is as dark as his feathers. There's reasons he was an outcast. Somethings wrong... not just his appearance... but his behavior.

Unfortunately... you were too late to notice it.

Now you two are mates... for life.

[thelesbianpoirot]

It AMAZES me how trans identifier males have become the all knowing arbiters of lgb but mostly lesbian culture. That people treat these fetishists like they’re so precious and soft while reminding women that they’ll cause harm to those who don’t fall in line. Sick. I remember back when I was in the ‘let adults do what they want to their bodies if it’s healthy’ camp what made me turn was the way they’d always say ‘you should me open to dating trans ‘lesbians and black lesbians’ as if males and us are the same. It was so disturbing and nasty and it made me furious watching non black lesbians agree and try and fight me when I spoke out against the racism. The fact that people allow racism because they don’t want to hurt these males feelings is insane and pathetic and how I know no one thinks they’re women because women could never get away with such toxicity and inanity. Idk sometimes I lose hope because part of me feels like this trend will be over in another five years, but even waiting that long seems crazy. Plus it really could go on forever because people are obsessed with men no matter what outfit or pronoun they claim 

Sweetie! You're setting me off. It enrages me beyond belief that BLACK WOMEN are being classed in the same category as these loser failure men by these fucking nutjobs. It is even worse to me when they say black butches and studs shouldn't be "transphobic" because we're "practically" men. The amount of racism I have felt from this community is just overwhelming because you don't expect it. They even seem to go to lengths white conservative don't go to. Because in order for them to justify why they are worshipping delusional men, they have to start ranking women based on least and most like men, and they have decided women they aren't attracted to, Black women, gay women, fat women, tall women, and muscular/athletic women, even poor women are Men-lite. I have heard this rhetoric from trans people and their supporters more than right wing bigots. It's nasty! It's pathetic! It's sick! And Racist. And I don't go around pulling the race card for any old mess, but if another fucking white kid from the suburbs say some dumb shit to me like I can't talk about the black FEMALE experience because it is not inclusive enough, I will fucking go off. It riles me up too because black women are the most feminine women on the planet, AND That's a bad thing! I don't know another group of women who spent more time on beauty procedures, heterosexual roleplay, and value motherhood/having kids more than us. I read a korean book "If I had your face by cha francis", about how women are going into debt for their cosmetic procedures and are willing to undergo so much pain & discomfort beauty and it sounded so much like black women everywhere in the world. And I think a big driving factor behind the huge escalation in black women's behavior has to do with how common place it is for young black women to hear this outdated evil talking point that we are more like men than any other women. This is archaic evil shit man. Despite modern gynecology being based unethical and cruel experiments done on our female ancestors during transatlantic slavery. We are the blue print for womanhood, yet ours is being called into question, weighed and measured. WE INVENTED THIS SHIT! Five years is too long, I need this trend to die out NOW! And I am glad women are taking screenshots, videos and other catalogue of evidence. When this trend dies, whether I am forty or 100, I don't need people saying it wasn't that bad, or they didn't said any of this, or that they aren't susceptible to propaganda. You're right, I do think people will obsess over men forever, and this movement is the finale form of the patriarchy, when your serial killer wears you skin and larps as you, and can now receive government benefits, special treatment and law reform for it. This is a man's world and never has this statement been more true. Men are still abusers, rapists, enslavers of women and we are now bullied into accepting them as one of us. INSANITY. How am I not stark raving mad is beyond me?

[jaijaitbinks]

I'm fixating.

————

Genos had never seen anything so beautiful.

As the gore and blood of shape-altering beast rained from the sky, tainting the streets and buildings in an ugly crimson, Saitama remained the center of attention—the sun in they sky. His golden wings, spread out wide in the air as he flew, shined like pure, untouched treasure. The power of each flap creating a breeze that reached the cyborg. He looked like a cross between an angel, gorgeous and bright and oh so elegant, and a demon, serious and powerful and unashamed. There was no doubt in the way he flew, no disgust in the glint of golden feathers.

Coming down, monster blood dripping off his wings like rain on a car, Saitama didn't look at anyone. He stared at what remained of the shape-shifting beast, even as he flapped his wings hard to completely rid them of the red—which, even as gross as it was, the color accented the gold of his wings incredibly well. The few civillians that were around, including the one he saved, watched him with rapt attention, like critics to a new film. Slack-jawed and in awe, not minding the powerful gust of wind he caused or the blood that got on them. A handfull of heroes who had arrived to the scene not even two minutes ago eyed him just as critically and amazed. Saitama met no one's eyes.

Genos' own wings, one partially broken, curled up behind him as he came closer, hands outstretching to Saitama without much thought. For a moment, when Saitama senses Genos coming nearer, his wings involentarily draw up—a sign of defensiveness. The cyborg held off from touching him then, alarmed and disconcerted, before Saitama's wings ease and droop, hanging low to the ground. It's then that Genos lets his hands take Saitama gentle by the arms, his biceps. When Saitama looks at him, confusion worrying his brows, Genos simply looks back.

"You're gorgeous..."

He says it in a mystified, breathless tone that makes Saitama flush. His eyes go wide and, for a split moment, the sun makes his eyes gleam gold, too.

Then, he scoffs bitterly.

"You're delusional," he huffs, but his tone doesn't match with what he means. He says it like he's underlyingly insulting himself.

Genos almost feels insulted by his words. "I'm not. Everyone seems to think you're gorgeous, too." He gestures around to the people who observed them with bewilderment, wondering what they're doing, what they're saying. Saitama only spares a glance before he's blushing harder and a wing comes up to shield him from prying eyes, blocking their view.

"They think my wings are gorgeous, not me," he says. Part of the cyborg couldn't take him seriously with him blushing like that, red nearly up to the ears, but he still listened. "You... I don't understand you. I'm not gorgeous. At all." He huffs out, almost ashamed: "They don't even suit me."

That was a lie. That was the largest lie he's ever heard in his whole life. Prosperity, wealth, and success fit who he was, what he has perfectly. While not in the literal sense, it suits his character. He's rich in wisdom, in compassion, in strength, in beauty—within and out. His prestige is undeniable. There's a reason the cyborg was his disciple, willing to follow him to the ends of the universe. There's a reason people like Fubuki began shifting their views of not only Saitama and the world, but themselves. There's a reason why people like King and Mumen Rider find themselves befriending the one-punch hero. The impact he has on the entire world in undeniable.

His wings suit him impeccably.

"They do." His hands drift down, sliding along his arms. And although he would love to relish in the shiver that shook Saitama's body, up to his winds, he kept himself steady. Easily, Saitama allows Genos to hold his hands. "Their symbolism doesn't have to be literal."

His mouth draws thin and curves, an unsure frown clear. "It still doesn't suit me. I hate them. They're so... people always think they're beautiful when all they do is lie about who or what I am."

"Prosperous? Influential? Compassionate?" He lists, smiling softly. "Does that not sound like you?"

"No," he says, immediate. "No, it doesn't."

"You don't think you're prosperous?" He prods. He doesn't realize his winds have come up, stretching upwards in a display of protection. And attraction. Saitama notices, tries his best not to gawk or blush, and keeps his eyes firmly locked on his disciple. He can hear that more people were coming over, and he knew they could see Genos' blatant display of courtship.

"I-I..." he looks at their hands, his cupped within Genos'. He goes quiet, because although he does think so, watching Genos' wings flex and curl the way it is right now is making him believe that he is. He feels like he's gaining something so precious.

The cyborg comes closer, making Saitama curl his wings to better accomodate the ones of steel and titanium.

"You don't believe you've impacted my life? Or the lives of your friends? The lives of everyone on Earth?"

Again, Saitama wants to say yes, he doesn't believe it. But this? This interaction, his wings—it's clear that he has, even if he doesn't understand why. And when he does think about it, even if he doesn't believe he has on a more emotional or mental, he has saved lives, including the ones of his friends. So once again, Genos is right.

His warm metal hands, plush with silicone palms but strong—holding much more power than Genos seems to realize, make the bald man wang to hide. He wishes they weren't acting like this so publicly. Weren't talking like this so openly.

"You don't believe you're intelligent?" He asks. "Or compassionate? Generous?"

Saitama feels overwhelmed, bombarded with so much. His own feelings, Genos'. He's starting to believe what Genos says, because Genos was the one saying it. And maybe it's the hope talking, maybe the fact Genos knew how to persuade him, maybe his act of courtship was still distracting him, but he's believing him.

He doesn't realize his own golden wings rise and curl to reciprocate. Genos does.

"I... don't know, anymore," he admits softly, quietly.

Genos continues to look at him with such emotion it becomes hard for Saitama to maintain eye contact. A hand leaves Saitama's, reaches past him. Instinctually, his wings lower.

"May I?" He asks softly, and if Saitama hadn't been reeling before, he sure as hell was now. Genos wanted him, he figured that out. But Genos wants him now, care for people seeing them a concern lost to the wind. He can't bear it anymore, and ducks into Genos' neck to hide. He doesn't say it outloud, instead squeezes the hands his own turn to intertwine with. The cyborg takes that as his consent and cards his fingers through delightfully soft feathers, melting against Saitama when a flustered whimper leaves him.

"You're gorgeous, sensei."

[miscelunaaa]

em's favorite reads for 2022

Hello and welcome to the list I said I’d make like two weeks ago and used to procrastinate doing both edits to sacrificial and messaging a client back about plot stuff!! Because I have a job now and I’m still adjusting to the fact that I’m an adult even now after all these years!! 

It’s been a fucking YEAR. Even like for myself personally, like this year’s just been fucking nuts. And yet somehow I found the time to do an immense amount of reading. I keep track of books I read, and well, to make myself feel better about how few books I read this year (and last), I started keeping track of fics I read that were longer than 50k. After all, 50k is what NaNoWriMo calls a novel, so why can’t I? With that in mind, it looks like I read some 60 books this year, most of them booklength fics. Of course, the list I keep is not exhaustive, thought I like to think it’s still pretty thorough. This year saw me starting to peak into other fandoms and read within them on ao3, and it also saw me return to commercial romance in the form of the Bridgerton Novels. There were things that I started and took to long to decide I didn’t like, there were things that I started a few times and finally decided I loved, and then there were things that I finished and allowed to haunt me for days after, when I couldn’t find anything that could compare. 

The list below is a selection of my favorites. All of them are works that qualified for a spot my personal “completed reads” list, so that means that, whether they’re finished or not, they hit roughly 50k (or were close enough for me to say it counted).  There are only ten because I had to arbitrarily pick a number to limit myself to, otherwise I would be here just listing things for the rest of eternity. Also note that there’s a lot of mxm on the list! On this blog, we are friendly to member x member fics, and if you have a problem with that, you can see yourself out. There’s so little I won’t read that after a certain point, it seemed silly to rule out some tremendous and beautiful stories just because I was worried about people being earnest Twitter shippers. The same accusations of delusional thinking can be easily leveled at those who read and write member x reader fics. In the end, the intent with which something was rendered matters more.

Anyway, that is all to sat that when I love something, I really deeply love it, and I will attempt to scream at anyone who’ll listen to me to read it. Consider this me, screaming at you with love. Happy reading <3

Before we begin, it should go without saying that all of the fics on this list are mature in nature and that you should not interact with them if you are a minor. Which like also, if you're a minor, you should not be on my blog, period. Read more disclaimers here.

∞ Stars Lost in the Sea (ao3) by smiles | this might have been recommended to my by @vyduan?? I don’t recall but either way THANK YOU. 

yoongi x seokjin, 75k, complete. Read for kind-of period romance, time travel, so so much pining, being where you need to be at precisely the right time, the unexplainable weightiness of love lost and regained, characters that deserve each other in ways I can’t hardly fathom. 

∞ Restitution (ao3) by @cloudteawrites | recommended to me by @minttangerines!!

ot7 x reader, 48k, incomplete/in progress. Read for deliciously tense hybrid dynamics, unconventional takes on species assignments for characters, phenomenal and thoughtful world building, a fic worth reading even if it were to remain incomplete for the rest of time. 

∞ tell me about the seagulls sam (ao3) by ebenroot | recommended to my by my irl army friend kitkat!!

seokjin x jimin AND namjoon x jungkook, 149k, in progress. Read for wonderful depictions of mental health issues, riotously funny character interactions, platonic soulmates vmin, deliciously one-sided-ish enemies to lovers, characters you are guaranteed to want to put in your pockets. 

∞ A Breach of Protocol (ao3) by Anna (pineconepickers) and tragicamente

namjoon x seokjin, 81k, complete. Read for unrepentant beefcake joon content, earnest and wonderful portrayals of adults trying to figure shit out while still being in the public eye, THE BODYGUARD AU TO END ALL BODYGUARD AUS, flawless and authentic characterizations.

∞ trust in the weather (ao3) by melodiousb

namjoon x yoongi x jimin, 70k, complete. Read for the magic au that will haunt me for the rest of my miserable life, the historical au that will similarly haunt me for the rest of my life, a magic system that felt natural and not once overwrought, romantic tension brought on by being the third in an established relationship, learning to love because you want to and not because you must, finding one’s place in a new home. 

∞ Teardrop (tumblr) by @hesperantha | I had the immense pleasure of beta-reading most of this!!

yoongi x reader, 70k, complete. Read for a story that feels deeply of our time, unflinching and joyful queerness, roadtrips with people who feel like people, the feeling of being unable to describe what a person means to someone while knowing the feeling is both vast and simple all at once. 

∞ What the Stars Look Like Under You (ao3) by nicedress

namjoon x yoongi, 100k, in progress. Read for the only pornstar au I have ever read that doesn’t fetishize sex work, depiction of recovery from deep seated trauma, being deeply understood in ways one would never expect, returning to loves once lost, a flawless depiction of an unreliable narrator. This is the fic that has seen my tears for every single fucking chapter. I can’t make this shit up. I have actually cried for each chapter of this fic.

∞ Honey when you need it (ao3) by GraphiteFox

yoongi x reader, 82k, in progress. Read for a reader-insert filled with tremendous depth, a playboy Yoongi that feels authentic, side characters that enrich and delight, depiction of mental health issues that feels real and done with care, an author taking care of their characters in a way that feels palpable while also being refreshing. Like that’s hard to describe and talk about but when you know, you know. 

∞ Up We Go (ao3) by Oh_Hey_Tae | recommended to me by @wwilloww!!

yoongi x jimin x taehyung, 100k, complete. Read for magical throuples, stunning depictions of depression, a modern magic au that I will never stop thinking about, a fic that will feel for you when you yourself are so tired of feeling, stories about love that taught me more than I could have ever expected.

∞ but i want it anyway (ao3) by ameliabedelias

namjoon x jimin, 55k, complete. Read for a truly perfect Jimin depiction, awkward and lovable Namjoon, metaphors threaded throughout that truly add to the story while being built upon in all the right ways, moments between two people falling for each other that I just think about all the fucking time. 

Have something wonderful you read? Want to share what you loved throughout the year? Tag me! I want to know what you read this year and loved!!

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©miscelunaaa 2022. My work is only found on this blog and under my ao3 pseud. Do not, under any circumstances, copy or repost my work. Thank you.

posted: 12.14.2022